#how I personally manifest things

[heavenangelly]

Do you guys want a post on how I personally manifest different things? Like how I manifest an SP, appearance changes, good grades, tons of money, etc?

#law of assumption #heavenangelly #manifesting #edward art #loa #loa tumblr #loassumption #manifest #neville goddard #void state #how I personally manifest things

[jemmo]

Making sense of love for love's sake: the game

Despite all the things i absolutely adore about how the plot unravels and expands in love by love's sake, upon first watch, there's some things i couldn't piece together, which @lurkingshan echoes in their post:

'The way the author was messing with Myungha and forcing cruel choices on him really does not track with a desire to help him find happiness.'

And to preface, this is not something i fully get yet either. I think i'll need a good month and a sizeable reading list of relevant resources to understand just what/who this author/sunbae is and what his role is and how he is associated with myungha. But as always with the best shows for meta (aka bad buddy), as a plot unfolds, you can always find a better understanding by looking backwards and re-contextualising what you've already seen. so i watched ep 1, specifically the scene between myungha and his sunbae at the bar. And i will talk about how everything said in this scene has a whole new meaning now we know the full story, but for now i wanna focus on that question that they keep coming back to; "Then... will you change it for him?".

When you watch the show for the first time, your brain follows the simplest, most obvious version of the story you're being told, one where myungha has been pulled into the world of his sunbae's novel that's being turned into a game and given the opportunity to fix the thing he didn't like about it; making yeowoon happy, and thus you just think the rules of the game are imposed by the author, and so when these cruel choices first come up, you see them as the difficult roadblocks that are nevertheless necessary to any kind of game, forcing the player to make an impossible choice so that the game can continue in a certain direction and its only after that you learn whether it was the right choice or not, or there is no right choice, it simply changes the game you are playing.

And when its revealed what this game actually is, at first i tried to interpret these cruel choices, namely the choice between yeonwoon and myungha's grandma, and at best i could come up with the concept of this being a choice between staying stuck to the past aka choosing his grandma, even though he knows that choice doesn't mean she's safe bc he knows the future where he loses here, its an inevitability, but thats the small happiness he knew before it was taken away and thus that happiness is known and safe, theres no risk, versus choosing to pursue a new happiness, a love of yeowoon and thus himself, which he doesn't know, he hasn't experienced yet, and could be risky. Its a happiness that isn't guaranteed like his grandma, but its a happiness that looks to the future and has hope in it that he can find a new happiness to pursue despite what has happened in his past.

And that fits nice, okayish. But then i watched ep 1 and heard that question "Then... will you change it for him?" And watching through the rest of the eps, we come back to this scene at the bar and each time we get a new run up to the author asking this question, either new dialogue is added or we hear a different piece of the conversation entirely. It starts at the beginning of ep 1 as:

"Because Cha Yeowoon is the only one who's miserable." "It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."

Then a bit later in ep 1 we go back and its expanded.

"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile." "Why? Do you think you'd write it differently?" "Yes, definately. Someone like Cha Yeowoon, or someone like me with an awful life, can also be happy."

And then all the way on in ep 6, we get this new dialogue.

"I don't like talking about destiny." "Why?" "Because it means everything is predestined." "Then do you not believe in fate?" "Fate and destiny are the same. My grandma likes to say that. She said life is like a written book, and how you'll live and die are written in it. (...)I don't like things like this. Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." "Really? Then Myungha..."

And while we don't hear the author ask the same question, I feel like him getting cut off like that insinuates that the conversation leads to that same ending point. All that is to say, every time we hear this question being asked, its like we learn more and more about what this whole thing is, what the game is, what myungha is saying he will do by agreeing to do what the author asks. And every time, we see myungha being more defiant against the idea of yeowoon being resigned to his miserable ending. He starts off thinking that kind of life is destined, and while it's miserable, its not something he can fight. Then he says he'd want to write the story differently, bc yeowoon, or even him, could be happy. He challenges the idea that yeowoon, and thus himself, is fated to be miserable, and opens up the possibility for happiness for them both, but doesn't yet have the means or resolve to do it, its like he knows its possible on a fundamental level, but doesn't see it as something he can actually achieve. But then we circle back to the idea of destiny and books, both of which came up in the previous quote, and seems incredibly pertinent seen as this whole thing is about a novel this author has written. Myungha talks about how he hates the idea that life is a book where everything written is predestined to happen, from the moment you live to the moment you die. He says "Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." That vile way of life he described before that he said was destined, he is now saying it can be changed, and that possibility is now something he's holding onto, its what he sees hope in so that he can keep trying, bc now he finally is trying, he has the resolve, he's trying to realise this thing, this impossibility of rewriting the life he thought was destined through the way he loves yeowoon.

And coming back to those cruel choices, given this fresh context, it made me think. bc this isn't actually a game that myungha has been put into where the rules are dictated by an author completely separate from him. He said himself, he'd rewrite it, he'd change things for yeowoon. And when you start to think of it less as him fighting against a rigid, removed system and more like him being a character in a story he is trying to rewrite himself, that has both the author and his own limitations, or just his own if you're in the school of thought that the author is some figment or part of myungha himself or his conciousness, then you can start to see where these cruel choices might come from. They could be myungha, the author making edits to this new story, imposing his own doubts and limitations on himself. When he says he has to pick between Yeowoon and his grandma, what if that's the new author myungha seeing this story unfold and thinking no this isn't right, he can't have it all, i'm not deserving of this much happiness.

And what makes me like this idea even more is that when we get that second choice between ending after 14 days or getting 100 days back at the cost of resetting Yeowoon's affection to 0, that whole conversation happens in what I think the bar actually is which is this frozen moment in time where myungha is in the water with this extension of a voice in his head that is talking through these things. That conversation in itself needs its own post, but when you look at it both as a decision to break up or not or a decision to hold onto life or not, you can see how the author is just this soundboard relaying the decisions myungha is going through in his head. The author's voice is his own, weighing up his decisions. And if he is the author here, it only reinforces that the person making the rules of this game is him. You can even extend it further to the idea of the debuffs, where he puts in place this thing that makes it so he causes harm to yeowoon when he's around, and its only by garnering affection that he can prevent it. He gives himself a reason from the get go to stay away from yeowoon and reason it as him doing it for yeowoon's safety, when in fact the only way to make yeowoon safe is to increase his affection, which he can only do by being near him. Its a system that at first gives myungha a reason to stay away aka not like himself, but ultimately says the only way you're going to make yeowoon like you, or the only way you can like yourself, is if you accept risk. And that in itself screams to me of a myungha writing in these game systems that are trying to encourage his own-self love while falling at the hurdle of his own lack of self-worth.

The idea is still messy in my head even for me, but i just really like the idea that myungha could be trying to fix this thing both as a character and game master, and that both these versions of him have these flaws that manifest in their different ways to cause the events we see. It kinda is the definition of being your own worst enemy, the idea that in order to work towards loving yourself, the biggest obstacle you have to encounter is yourself, bc we are the ones holding ourselves back, making all these rules that make it harder to like ourselves and pursue our own happiness. The voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough and aren't deserving are our own, and while the things that happen to us can inform what they say, we're the one's reinforcing those words. And what this show teaches us is that, if we're the one holding that pen all along, we can choose to change what those words are. If we make the rules, you don't have to create a game with concrete ultimatums, you can create a game where rules don't control you. Instead, you make the decisions, and you can make the ones that make you happy.

#wow look at me writing actual kinda thought out meta #also something something about how the pen being in his pocket wasnt a pen given to him by the author its a pen that was his the whole time #look even if this isnt the right interpretation as intended by the author i just kinda adore this headcanon ive come up with and i cant wai #to rewatch the show again through this lens and see if it holds up #i just adore the idea of this whole thing being this manifestation of a flawed doubtful person trying to navigate through their own messy #nonsensical thoughts to find their own happiness #bc yes thats what triggered me thinking of this whole thing. me seeing that post and thinking yeah that doesnt make sense7 #but then again when you tell yourself things an put your own mental blocks in the way they dont make sense either but you still have to fin #the ways to work around them in order to find happiness #like those things dont go away we just find the loopholes or the ways to overcome them that mean we can be happy #the game is your own mind - deal with your own existential crisis as you wish #anyway this is only part 1 in what i hope will be a very extensive meta analysis of this show - stay tuned #love for love's sake

[angel-archivist]

It's so interesting and so exceedingly frustrating how agab is being utilized now within the queer community as a way to isolate and sort nonbinary and genderqueer folks into binary boxes that determine their moral purity levels, and their authority to do and write and exist.

The way nonbinary writers are being put under accusation of fetishizing gay men while their AGAB is continually brought up in a way that feels like queer-space-approved misgendering.

The way feminist circles that are supposedly trans-inclusive will use the word AFAB in a way that implicitly but intentionally isolates nonbinary people who aren't AFAB from joining. It's for women*.

The way the language is already flawed and leaves out intersex folks from the conversations while focusing on a binary of sex that isn't truthful.

The constant obsessing over whether someone is AFAB or AMAB and whether or not that gives them the privilege to join, do, write, or be present in certain spaces really really concerns me. How are we supposed to dismantle a binary system of gender if we can't even move past forcibly assigning and focusing on people's genders assigned at birth?

#and yes i understand! that agab language can in some circumstances be helpful in inclusive language and in the medical world but ultimately #is misgendering and unnecessary it should be up to the person to disclose their agab not an expectation of them to give up freely #I think that inclusive language shouldnt be misgendering in nature and agab as far as i can tell should only be used in select discussions #and certainly not as a way to frame a nonbinary writer as a “biological woman” but in a way where the queer community will nod along and sa #“oh they have a point” because you used the word AFAB instead #honestly afab is the term i see used most frequently and most harmfully towards other nonbinary people who don't identify w the label #to exclude trans women and amab nonbinary people #to frame nonbinary people as “still women” because of their assigned gender at birth #also i understand its not as simple as “not using” these terms bc they still serve a purpose and are important #but as they leave the queer community and as they enter the hands of cis queer people they become weapons #i wish i could like manifest my thoughts super clearly but i really cant bc its a difficult situation #its just another example of misogyny and bio-essentialism creeping into the queer community #because the patriarchy impacts all things including our discussions of trans oppression and gender we need to stop viewing it #as a strict binary of male female and oh sometimes we'll mention nonbinary people but we're all afab and amabs at the end of the day <3 #like flames literal flames #if you wanna like chip into the conversation just shoot me an ask or respond to the post i'd love to hear other peoples perspectives #im not infalliable so if i said anything you view as incorrect especially in regards to intersex folks and how you all would like to be #included in these discussions as im not intersex but am aware of how agab is a subject that leans into the idea of a binary of sex #so yeah rant over <3 #retro.bullshit #rant

[sunnnfish]

Maybe I’m okay with it if Hirano never traditionally “loves” Kagi. Or anyone. Maybe it never will turn into the same kind of love Kagi feels. Kagi is nevertheless such a source of inspiration and strength and comfort to Hirano. Even if he never feels a desire to touch or get married or whatever. Maybe he does it because Kagi asks and he loves making Kagi happy most of all. He wouldn’t seek it if not asked. But Kagi is always asking. And he knows it makes Kagi happy. Does anyone see the vision. Do you understand. Maybe kagi will be okay with it if Hirano never “loves” him the same way Kagi loves him. Because he knows how Hirano works and he knows how Hirano cares. And he knows he is unique to Hirano. He knows Hirano wouldn’t do these things with anyone else. And that’s still love in its own way.

#every day I convince myself more and more of aroace-spec Hirano #or maybe the perceived slow-burn is getting to me #it’s like. I kind of keep forgetting that there is still going to be more relationship and character development #but also. At this point in time at least they are so queerplatonic to me #AND it all wraps back around to the theme of different kinds of love #we do not love each other in the same ways. but that’s what makes it special #also a queerplatonic relationship answers all the weird limbo relationship stuff they have goin on in future ssmy chapters #idk. anyways. maybe im crazy #also all comes back to How do you quantify being someone’s most important person #Kagi WILL be the most important person to Kagi. it’s just a question of how that manifests #at this point I can’t imagine it manifesting in Hirano necessarily wanting to touch Kagi or saying things like I love you #it’s simply. laughter and happiness and comfort #they are already old together. do you get it #I never feel like I’m properly able to explain the feelings I have. whatever #surely someone gets it #sunnfish.kghr #Hirano to kagiura #Hirano and kagiura

[aroacettorney]

[chapter 630+ spoilers]

its so funny to me that although ludger could have easily and efficiently wiped his enemies with the power of [the goddess who loves humans very much], instead, he chose to flex his power and completely obliterate them in the most petty way possible. he killed:

the lightning wizard of color with lightning

the fire wizard of color with fire

the entire holy army with holy power

the almost equivalent of the pope with the same god that he worships

you cant even call this massacre a poetic vengeance because he clearly didnt even see them as a worthy enemy but more of a swarm of annoying pests that need extermination.

ironically, ludger was created to become a vessal of a god, yet not only he rejected this divinity but also became the exact opposite of one — the manifestation of pettiness, a trait that is unmistakably very human.

#academy's undercover professor spoilers #academy's undercover professor #poetic vengeance? no. dramatic pettiness? yes. #if there is any personality trait that is consistent and unchanging with his growth throughout the years its his pettiness. #many of his other traits can also be traced back to his pettiness. #also the opposite of gods isnt demons cuz the existence of demons is entirely lumensis' propaganda #gods dont care about the crimes and atrocities humans commit onto each other because they dont care abt such trivial things #but ludger does because he is a human ''living in this world'' #a very petty human at that #and his pettiness is direct proportion to his care for humanity #or should i say... it is how his care for humanity manifests

[mastercrownmonday]

Crown-a-Crown!

TL;DR: Vote for your favorite form of the Master Crown! The poll is below this kind note directly from our sponsor.

"mortals, It's the Crown Without a Ruler (WITHER IN FEAR). I am speaking to you today via server-hosted textual display data. make no mistake; in better days, the God of Another Dimension never relied on computers or clockwork, but due to My very TEMPORARY circumstances, it is the best Your Diademic Deity can do.

today I generously offer you the chance to sing your praises in a quantitative manner. I have asked the (LOWLY) owner of this account to compile every single form of the Master Crown (ME) thus far revealed to mortal eyes (YOU). My memory is infallible, but theirs is not, so if they manage to forget something, please rectify the situation by sending them HATE MAIL.

My appearances are invariably arresting, so I understand that your decision will be difficult. I allow you to determine your answer by considering power, mere aesthetics, story significance, or a combination of those and more.

you can explain yourself in the "tags" or "replies" if you wish, but if any one of you cringing, crawling things MENTIONS—nay, so much as CONSIDERS—any manner of BLUE-CLAD WIZARD, then by Eden's Altar, there will be RETRIBUTION.

I give you a week's time to cast your vote.

inimitably,

THE MASTER CROWN"

(A) Landia/Parallel Landia/"Base" form:

(B) Landia EX:

(C) Traitor Magolor/EX:

(D) Magolor Phase 2:

(E) Magolor Soul:

(F) Crown Shards:

(G) Crowned Doomer:

(H) Final Boss/"Mistilteinn":

(I) Star Allies:

I'm sure glad it isn't up to me! Too many good choices...

All exemplary images courtesy of Wikirby. Check the tags for some finer details on my decisions while making the poll.

#as you may be able to tell i tried to group simple recolors or otherwise very similar designs together #didnt include anything that isnt explicitly/canonically shown to be a form of the crown. so no concept art... etc. #personally i consider the entirety of the Magolor Phase 2/Soul forms to be part of the crown. not just the thing on its head... #...especially since the Soul flavor text says it's “a manifestation of the crown itself.” but im not sure everyone would agree with that #making this poll reminded me that “Mistilteinn” isnt technically the tree forms official name (yet?) #kirby series #master crown monday #master crown #poll #PS: some of the options i dont realistically expect to get any votes. and thats okay. i was just trying to be thorough lol #PPS: i dont think the master crown knows how to add bold face or capitalization. it changes text emphasis with its soul. its true

[uncanny-tranny]

See, the term "magical thinking" is perhaps accurate, but I worry that people interpret that as a cutesy symptom rather than as something that can very easily slide into life-ruining thoughts and patterns of behaviour.

I've found that my own magical thinking is often inspired by some incredibly hurtful, very personal fears and traumas, and I wonder if that's what many people also experience. It's helped to reframe my mindset in that I acknowledge that I am not that powerful that everything in the universe is my fault, but... it's still very difficult to deal with, and it isn't a perfect solution.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #magical thinking #see i find this to be a more personal issue and honestly it goes hand in hand with my post about delusions #especially in that often magical thinking can be almost a manifestation of your innermost fears and anxieties... #...i think my personal trauma is woven into how i think - especially in a magical thinking sense - because of how i was abused... #...and it's things like that that make these topics both personal and imperative that you come in not seeking to judge people struggling #i think some people might just assume it's narcissism on steroids because they don't understand either.. #...magical thinking OR narcissism and that sometimes worries me

[thebloodredraven]

The "why are people criticizing romance tarot readers, I don't want to do shadow work readings" shit I saw on here a few months ago did a lot to my psyche, mostly make me realize I should not be consuming that content as much as I have been over the past few years.

I also learned that anyone who has a problem with doing shadow work or self reflection readings but obsesses over romance are probably suffering with limerence like me and that snapped me tf awake

Edit: also what the FUCK do you mean "if this pile just sounds like it's describing yourself, that just means your person is mirroring you!!" NO???? THAT MEANS YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON YOURSELF BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING ELSE WHY ARE WE SAYING THIS TO IMPRESSIONABLE PEOPLE

#viri talks about things; #pick a card #pick a pile #tarot #i say this without meaning to project but think about how most of us stumbled into spirituality #it was heartbreak or trauma right #so what do you think happens when you alchemize that trauma into a future spouse that doesnt exist in reality #what if the energy in readings is just giving you a snapshot of the energy you have and that energy is delusional #like....this was actually so dangerous for me because i only JUST fully snapped out of a limerent obsession #and i know others who have also trusted yt “”“spiritualist”“” tarot readers that rarely ever have realistic views #i really had to go inward cause why am i as a black person depending on white women for spiritual guidance #especially when most of them cant differentiate between manifestation privilege and manipulation #this rant is solely about my experience btw argue w your mama but these spaces need a revamp

[elia-nymmeros]

Everytime i think i've seen everything in this fandom... wdym the man who exterminated Houses Tarbeck and Reyne down to the last child, who ordered an innocent 14-year-old to be gang-raped by an entire garrison before ordering his own son to rape her last, who emotionally abused said son down to his last moment on Earth for the crime of being born disabled, who ordered the sacking of an entire city and commanded every atrocity in the Riverlands all for his own personal and politican gain, wasn't evil? Tywin Lannister ruined the life of hundreds, if not thousands of people, including his own children, and the narrative is quite explicit in portraying him as the source of his own destruction. Tywin Lannister is one of the most evil, cruel, petty and malicious man of ASOIAF, even if he didn't personally commit every act of violence himself; the fact that I see people still somehow making excuses for his behavior is ..????!?!?

#tywin lannister #asoiaf #valyrian scrolls #anti asoiaf fandom #the author of this comment says: 'that despite terrible things being done in war the person or people that perpetrate these things aren’t- #'necessarily terrible themselves' 'All I’m saying is that to label Tywin “evil” is to misunderstand him completely.' #this isnt even the 5th person i've found defending tywin #i'm not saying we should cancel tywin but i think his extreme moral corruption and reprehensible cruelty is a very important aspect #to understand his character #his evilness and where does it stem from and how does it manifest in Westeros' social order IS crucial to understand him

[lgbtiwtv]

one of my favorite hobbies is in fact making fun of lestat because let’s be honest he does deserve it 99% of the time but then i start rereading tvl and suddenly I’m like….man he really went through so much, huh? he was really traumatized and taken advantage of over and over by both strangers and people he loved….like man he really was stalked, kidnapped, and forcefully made into a vampire against his will….he faced years of abuse from his father and brothers…..he witnessed the death of his only lover and before that his resentment and eventual madness….he really cries every other page and has 10 existential crises before he even becomes a vampire but he wants to be good he wants to be happy he tried to run away to the church he tried to run away with the theatre troupe he just wanted to act and love and be loved and at every turn he was done wrong and hurt and abandoned and nobody ever really helped him and I—

#like. not to be a lestat apologist on main but oh my god the horrors he experienced…..all alone…… #I just kept thinking about the scene where he’s turned and he’s so scared and alone and he still chooses to say no and die human #he didn’t want this!!! and then he’s left all alone again and he’s dying and he’s in pain and #literally screaming and crying and then he has to see a pile of bodies that all look like him and then what???? #he’s supposed to be the same person after all that?? like of course he’s got ptsd of course he’s got terrible coping mechanisms of cours #he acts the way he does because like how do you live with all that unless you turn it into something meaningful in any way you can #and for him that manifests as a god complex and controlling nature and enjoying all of life’s pleasures to mask #his crippling self loathing and fear of abandonment and intense intense trauma. #um. ….anyway…..sorry for lestat posting like this do you guys still think I’m cool #obvs not excusing the bad things he’s done but like……..it still hurts……. #to quote that one post I’ll always taking louis’ side in the divorce but….sometimes I stop and really thing about everything lestat has #been thru and like….I care him…..😔 #iwtv #interview with the vampire #iwtv spoilers #lestat de lioncourt #the vampire chronicles #the vampire lestat #m watches iwtv

[verygayandverytired]

i want to live in the world where dragon age inquisition got to have the in-depth strategy / political organization sim elements bioware obviously wanted it to have where your decisions in managing the inquisition actually meant anything for how it operates and had effects on the game world. sadly we live in the universe where art needs to make profit

#dragon age #dragon age inquisition #you can see the remnants of their vision #like in the requisitions system #which obviously was originally intended to not just be meaningless crafting recipes that give you meager amounts of Influence and Power #even influence and power feel like stripped back abstractions of what they originally wanted #the early trailers of the game made establishing and managing keeps in each region look a lot more important than they ended up being #also the da2 resource system would've made infinitely more sense in inquisition than going around grabbing individual resources personally #as you walk around #and it is kind of there in the final game? like the logging stands and whatnot are similar in concept though they really are just for the #pointless shallow requisitions rather than anything of any actual impact #i remember also that early talk of the game included a mechanic where it was possible to overhunt wildlife or overharvest resources #which never actually manifested in the final game #but could've been interesting for things like the refugees in the hinterlands who need food #a mechanic like that could open up player choice of balancing providing for the refugees with responsibly managing the local resources #rather than how the quest is in the final game which is just “go kill 10 rams”

[faithfromanewperspective]

it's such a radical kind of positivity to be like 'maybe things will be okay in the end' in the face of biodiversity collapse and colonialism. but it's also exactly what we need. for some of us to go 'what if things turn out okay' and then do the work to get there because we loved that vision so much we made it happen

#climate solutions #climate justice #climate action #biodiversity #colonialism #decolonise #and yes i know we're living through terrible things rn #and it's okay if you're suffering and unable to see the positive #but. i don't usually believe in manifesting but i'm manifesting right now. i'm sick of my prayers being in desperation #what if the best possible outcome happens? and sometimes that means surrounding myself with a much less negative skew #and so. psa i guess. i'm really working on that #and doing so in a way that isn't too rushed so hopefully the hypomania and desperation doesn't kick in #so please if you've read to here ask me how it's going! i won't be checking my dash but i will be checking notifs and messages #personal mental health tag #anti-worrying i guess

[lycanr0t]

the thing about aplatonicism is that just like aromanticism and asexualism, it doesn't inherently mean you don't want friendships, every individual apl person has different needs and wants in regards to friendship and each person will go about it differently.

I for example am aplatonic and don't specifically feel platonic attraction as in, i don't feel a drive to befriend people. I don't get "friend crushes" or ever get the desire to befriend specific people. I am personally, very open to the possibility of friendship if someone else approaches me and we vibe. I am not platonically attracted to them, but I also do get enjoyment from socializing with others in that way and can become attached to them, etc. Platonic attraction does not equal caring about someone/being good to them. Attraction is not moral in that way. it just is.

Just like how some ace people still enjoy sex, even without sexual attraction. Some aplatonic people still enjoy friendship, and some don't. And that's okay! There are so many types of relationships out there that people can form and explore what makes them happiest and it looks different for every person and that's such a wonderful thing.

#my husband and i are both aplatonic and it manifests in VERY different ways for each of us but like. its neat its cool #i don't have many friends bc i don't seek ppl out but i love talking to people. i am a very social anf i like to think friendly person #i also have incredibly strong morals about treating people with kindness and trying to make the world a gentler place. #bc platonic attraction does not determine how good a person is or their morals #you can have 0 friends and still be a good person who treats people well #we NEED to get away from the idea of 'person with no friends = bad' #bc like. its a bad concept. its inherently flawed and bigoted and shit. tbh #the power of friendship isnt the most powerful thing actually its not any worse or better than any other relationship #friends arent worse or better than romantic partners or family or coworkers or strangers #its just another relationship and subset of attraction and putting it on a pedestal isnt a good thing actually #just how ​ace advocacy that relies on claiming romance is the best thing in the world is flawed #aro advocacy that claims friendship is the most important thing is just as flawed #all are equal. theyre not better or worse just different #rot posts #anyways unprompted apl post its just been on my mind

[tibtew]

*clutching head* rodya and meursault would have such a good dynamic actually

I wonder if rodya would initially see meursault's indifference as like. a simpler version of her own feigned carefreeness and as a deliberate attempt to place himself as an outsider... only to realise that No, he really Is just Like That. and then she gets annoyed because it turns out that people who don't care about anything don't seem to be any fun.

(ofc he does actually care about a lot of things, just not necessarily his grander place in the world lol)

idk. nihilism vs absurdism. fun duo 👍 rodya would find meursault's genuine comfort with being a speck of dust in the universe baffling, while he would probably find her desire to assert her own importance pointless, but they could probably bond over little things like their shared desire to live in the present and appreciation of/indulgence in earthly joys. and meursault would probably listen if rodya wants to rant about anything without asking any uncomfortable questions. I think they could appreciate each other's presence.

#slamming my conspiracy board #listen it's not my fault meursault vibes with literally the entire female cast #rodya enjoyers help me out here please I haven't read crime and punishment am I talking out of my ass #I just think it'd be kind of interesting if like. rodya kills someone for a very specific reason (to assert herself as special) #while meursault kills someone for seemingly no good reason #but because of time place circumstance etc #meursault is the one made out to be the outsider to society #while rodya goes unacknowledged and all her motives backfire #like I'm not saying that meursault has Exactly what rodya wants or anything #but I think he Does possess a level of guiltlessness that she was trying to achieve through her self-confidence #also I find it interesting how pride is like. a big thing for both of them #like they both have excessive belief in themselves and their own abilities. in rodya it manifests as self-confidence or I guess. an ego #while in meursault it's more about. a belief in his own interpretation of the world rather than himself as a person? I hope that makes sens #also they both reject collectivist ideas which is. fun #neither of them perform to what a society would expect from them but for rodya it's an active effort to assert her individuality #while meursault just Doesn't Get societal conventions from the get-go unless they're explained to him #I think they also both tend to project a lot 💀 meursault expects his own indifference from others while rodya projects her own #experiences onto others' and makes assumptions based on that before knowing the full details #txt #limbus company #I feel too embarrassed to add more specific tags ngl 💀 💀 💀 #lcb meursault #lcb rodion #lcb rodya #nvm. feelings of cringe are for Losers I am Strong

[godsfavoritescientist]

Building off of what I wrote in my fic "Sparks," I'm really compelled by the idea of Ford genuinely no longer being interested in sailing around in a boat with Stan by the time they were seniors in high school.

I like the idea of it not being just a symptom of the resentment that had been building between them, nor it being a dream of Ford's that only paled in comparison to west coast tech, but it being a genuine loss of interest on Ford's end. I think it complicates things even further in some really juicy ways.

Like, imagine going through high school slowly losing more and more interest in the dream you've shared with your twin and only friend ever since you were little kids. How do you break it to him? How do you explain it to him without making it sound like a rejection of him? Without it making him hate you?

How do you explain it without it feeling like a spit in the face to all the hard work he's put into a plan that started out as a way of him comforting you by telling you "it doesn't matter what people say about you, you're going to be an adventurer who sails away into the sunset and never has to hear their mockery ever again, and there will be babes and treasure and heroism, and then they'll all see how cool you really are!"

And all through high school you think to yourself, "he's going to move on to more realistic dreams any day now, and then I won't have to say anything about it!" But no matter how many times you mention something else he could do with his life that he seems interested in, or bring up the challenging logistics of traveling around long-term in a boat, he sounds just as committed to the childhood dream as ever, and completely oblivious to how apprehensive you sound.

So resentment grows, little by little. Because that's easier than confronting the soul-crushing levels of guilt that are building up inside of you, every time you don't take an opportunity to tell him you don't want to do the plan anymore. You don't have a single person in your life who modeled how to have difficult conversations for you. As far as you know, having this conversation with Stan would crush him into tiny little pieces and then he would hate you forever, and you can't stand the idea of losing the only friend you've ever had.

So tensions grow. A lack of interest turns into a bitter resentment that, if you were really being honest with yourself, is directed more at yourself than it is at Stan.

And then the falling-out happens, and it seems like you were proven right. Stan hates you now, and he's never going to forgive you for giving up on his dream. But two can play that game, so you try to hate him too. Because if you hate him too, then maybe it won't hurt as much that he never came back. That he never even turned up at school, or by the boat, or in through your bedroom window in the middle of the night. He knows what dad's like, and how he says impulsive exaggerated things when he's angry, and haven't you both dealt with his harsh words countless times before and been able to dust yourselves off and joke about it later? So why isn't he back at home, joking with you about how absurd your dad acted that night, being impossible and belligerent about ruining your dream, but at least now you're even, because you've ruined his dream too.

-

And now imagine you find out he risked the lives of everyone in existence to bring you back, right after you had accepted your fate was to die killing Bill. It would be terrifying and confusing and infuriating. If he cared so much, why didn't he do something to reconnect with you sooner? Why did he ignore you in favor of trying to make it big without you? Why didn't he take the infinitely safer and simpler action of reaching out to you without you having to track down his address and send a desperate plea for help? You were convinced that he didn't care enough to bother with you unless you had an important enough reason for him to come. But even then, he thought your plans were stupid. He didn't want anything to do with you, not even with the world at stake.

Did he save your life out of guilt? Does he pity you that much? It doesn't add up with what he did in the decade leading up to shoving you into the portal. And the dissonance between the version of him in your head that hates you, and the man who held out his arms to welcome you back to your home dimension, is so strong that you feel like you're being lied to again, like you're back in the depths of gaslighting and manipulation that Bill put you through, even though there's no way that's what Stan is trying to do... right? You can't figure it out, so you run away from it. You don't want to know the answer to whether or not Stan hates you, because you don't know which answer would hurt more, so you try to make him hate you more than ever, because at least then you would know for sure how he feels.

And in the end, after he sacrifices his memories for you, and for the world, things seem clearer. The layers upon layers of confusion and anger and hurt seem to have washed away like drawings in the sand, leaving behind the simple truth: that you two had an argument, and didn't move past it for forty years, and despite everything you put each other through, you both still want to re-connect.

So you sail away in a boat together.

And at first, it's wonderful. It's exactly what you want. It feels like an apology to Stan, and a thank-you for saving the world, and a once-in-a-lifetime chance to heal the rift between you two, and it's good to be back on earth, and you wonder why you ever doubted the dream you two once had.

But then, after the first long journey you spend on the sea together, when you get back home to dry land, Stan is already talking about planning your next adventure out on the open sea. He recaps every adventure you had on the first trip, over and over again, and he wants to chat with you all through the morning and long into the night, and you don't have the words to explain to yourself that you don't have enough social battery for this, and suddenly you're slipping back into the horrifyingly familiar feeling of Stan being overbearing and needing space from him and how could you think that? How could you think that about him after everything he's done for you and everything he's forgiven you for? But the longer this goes on, the more you realize that you still don't want to spend the rest of your life sailing around with Stan. It's great fun in moderation, but the idea of your whole life revolving around Stan and going on adventures with Stan and being in a boat with Stan with no time to be by yourself thinking about your own things and figuring out your own dreams makes your skin crawl with a claustrophobic kind of panic that you still don't know how to put into words forty years after the first time this feeling grabbed you by the throat and ruined your friendship with Stanley.

But the first time this happened, it nearly ruined his life forever. You can't let yourself feel this. You don't feel this. You're happy to spend the rest of your life fulfilling Stan's lifelong dream, and making up for the time you crushed his dream, and sure, maybe he crushed your dream once too, and maybe it would be nice for him to support your dreams like you're now doing for him, but you can't say that. He saved the universe, and it would be horrible and ungrateful and cruel for you to try to voice these feelings, especially when you don't know how to voice your feelings without it making other people feel like you twisted a knife into their gut. So you try to pretend the feeling isn't there.

You go out on a boat with Stan again. You planned out another incredible journey together, and this should be fun, and you should be happy about this, but the unspoken feeling you shoved as far down in yourself as it could possibly go is eating you alive. The worst part? Stan is starting to notice. You have never been good at hiding your emotions. The trick to it has always been to convince yourself you don't feel it at all, and not think about it, and that has always worked like a charm. But whenever the emotion claws its way back up to the forefront of your mind, you can tell Stan knows something is wrong. So you can't even give him the happy ending he deserves. You can't even convince him that you want to be here on the open seas forever with him, like he deserves. And you keep trying and trying to hide it, but Stan keeps asking in roundabout ways, like "You're being awfully quiet, sixer," and "whats that look on your face?" and eventually it comes exploding out of you like a shaken-up soda bottle dropped on its cap.

And then it's like you're back at home in New Jersey again, standing in the living room while dad grabs Stanley by the shirt. It all comes pouring out of you, in the worst possible way, with the worst possible phrasing, like a pandora's box of monstrousness, and Stan tries to fight back against the sting of your words, but you're made out of acid and you're burning through him and you can see it on his face, and there's never any coming back from this, not this time, you'll just have to either jump into the ocean or become a monster forever, so Stan can hate you more easily again, and-

-and at the end of the outburst, you're still on a boat in the middle of nowhere in the ocean with your brother, in dangerous waters, and you have things to do to keep the boat running smoothly.

You can't run away from him. He can't run away from you. You're stuck here for at least a couple more weeks, even if you turned around and sailed back towards shore right away.

-

And the thing that compels me so much here, despite how unbelievably angsty it all is, is that it sets up a situation wherein the Stans might end up forced to actually address the decades of resentment and confusion and wanting-to-reconnect-throughout-it-all that they thought they could gloss over and heal with enough time spent adventuring together on a boat. They might end up forced to actually address the crux of the issue that drove them apart in the first place: Ford wanting a little more space to feel like his own person, and to feel like he's able to have his own dreams, too.

It wouldn't happen easily, nor right away, but if they were stuck together on a little boat in the middle of nowhere surrounded by magical creatures they have to protect each other from in order to make it back home alive, then after they had one fight where they brought up all the things they silently agreed to never bring up again, it would probably happen many more times, and each time it would leave them both angrier at each other than ever, until eventually something honest slipped through amidst all the saying-anything-except-what-they-mean bickering. And once enough of these honest moments slipped through, then they would have a thread to tug on to start to unravel the gargantuan knot of their decades of unresolved conflicts.

And then, eventually, maybe Stan could learn that he can have a good friendship with his brother without needing to be glued to him at the hip, and Ford needing a certain amount of alone time doesn't mean he dislikes him or wants to abandon him, and Ford could learn that he can be honest and have a meaningful connection with someone without it driving them away and making them hate him.

#succumbed to the stan twins angst visions and wrote 2000 words about this #ford pines #ford meta #this turned into a character analysis that almost reads like a fic #godswriting #<- i need to change my writing tag to this #something bothers me a little bit about the solution to their conflict being 'ford appreciates stan more now so he is now fine with- #-boat adventures with stan'. to me it leaves the initial conflict of 'he doesnt want to do that anymore' unresolved #obviously you could easily argue that ford never stopped wanting to go on boat adventures with stan and he just couldnt justify it to- #-himself when compared to the opportunity at west coast tech. but that has one less layer of conflict #compared to the possibility that he truly was not interested in boat adventures anymore. ESPECIALLY if its a manifestation of him #feeling suffocated by the whole dynamic-twins-duo thing #its normal to start wanting a little bit more space especially at that age. to want to have space to figure out who you are #the healthy thing would have been them talking about it and figuring out a compromise. like 'when ford needs space he can spend a few hours #-alone without stan being worried the whole time that it means ford hates him' and 'we still spend x amount of time working on the boat and #-we still chat on the way to and from school every day and hang out at the beach on weekends' #like of fucking course it was never about hating stan or about wanting to get away from him because of who he is as a person! #he literally just wanted to have a little bit of breathing room to be his own separate person. he just didn't know how to put it into words #I really think the crux of it all was them not knowing how to navigate that balance between independence and identity while staying close #so ford misattributing/reducing that feeling to 'I dont have the exact same dream as stan anymore. why does he still have that dream. oh no #feels like a good way of giving that conflict a tangible aspect to it thats easy for the stans to point at and talk about as a way of- #-alluding to the REAL core of the conflict between them. #and of course the show never says 'they sail around the world for the rest of their lives 24/7' so it's not like it Actually Conflicts with #-my interpretation of the conflict and how it should be resolved. but since its the last thing we see happen between them when theyre given #their happy ending. I feel compelled to say 'hey I know them living in the shack together and traveling in a boat every single year sounds- #-really fun and like a satisfying ending but I think they should have a Little Bit more space from eachother than that. Hanging out almost- #-daily but not literally being in the same house and same boat for the rest of their lives. bc if stan was ok with ford asking for that- #-little bit of space and if ford didnt panic and isolate himself from everyone whenever he needs like one hour of alone time? that would- #-feel like a big piece of the puzzle fitting into place for their conflict resolution and growth as characters. to me #and I think they deserve to have all the tied-up-loose-ends and resolved-conflicts and character-growth in the world.

[craycraybluejay]

i have this insanely good fic idea but its way past my bedtime.. tomorrow we write

#wincest #oh you guys are going to be in for a treat if this is your thing #any hypersexuals out here? its going to focus a lot on that and how that manifests realistically #and how sometimes you are mean to yourself indirectly because the need is stronger than anything else #lile u straight up be disrespecting yourself even tho u know u can do better #not at all a personal thing nope #anyway #hypersexual!dean and loving!sam #like big bro please stop letting you do this to yourself i will take care of you this is sad as fuck #but in a sweeter way #i dont usually like fluff but like #writing a hypersexual character getting treated with kindness and respect and love is like crack #it is so important to me #hypersexuality is a lot like other addictive/compulsive behavioral patterns #u end up in a bad place w the good intention of keeping yourself happy or content #and i think addicts deserve endless love and compassion and patience and accomodation #just #yeag