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whumpcollector · 3 years

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Project CHIMERA Pt.1: A New Age

Hey everyone. I’ve had this little project stewing for a long while. I’m experimenting with the writing style and such so please give me any feedback you have! (Also formatting this thing has been a nightmare so if anything comes off as difficult to read please lmk and ill fix it)

TW: Dehumanization. Themes of imperialism. Descriptions of blood and injury.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dr. Yarru’s Personal Log

Entry 1

Date: Celendor 3, 991

It is a glorious day. Truly it is. Today marks the beginning of project CHIMERA. I have been assigned to lead this project by Emperor Vystlat himself, an honor I intend to prove myself worthy of. The equipment is still being set up and the facility brought to full function, but within the week we will be able to begin the production of the first batch of clones. All going well we will have our first subjects by the end of Celendor.This will be a new age for the empire.

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Dr. Yarru’s Personal Log

Entry 4

Date: Celendor 12, 991

The first batch of clones are growing better than anticipated. Within two days they have already passed the embryonic stages and have reached infancy. If this rate continues they will be juveniles within three days at most, and we will be able to begin the initial stages of CHIMERA ahead of schedule. This is better than I ever could have hoped for. Soon the need for the empire’s children to die in order to spread our prosperity will be gone. Soon, the glory of the empire will go uncontested.

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---Security Clearance Level: 5---

Official Report of Progress: Project CHIMERA

Date: Celendor 12, 991

My glorious Emperor Vystalt,I am more than pleased to report that project CHIMERA’s progress has been greater than I ever anticipated. The first batch of clones have reached the juvenile stage and are being awoken as I write this report. After a day of acclimation we will be able to begin their training. Initial physiological tests have revealed that cell growth rates and immune system responses are greatly enhanced compared to the average human’s. With further research we may be able to adapt these properties to other medical fields. While I do not wish to get ahead of myself, the prospective avenues of research are truly promising.

I shall personally inform you of any and all major developments.

May our glory shine upon the world,

-Dr.Archimedes Yarru

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Dr. Yarru’s Personal Log

Entry 6

Date: Celendor 13, 991

It appears that our genetic manipulation has worked a bit...too well. These clones are not the blank slates that we had anticipated, but have managed to develop personalities during their time in incubation. The good news is that the information we imprinted them with during the incubation phase has stuck as well. We won’t need to teach them the basics. In theory their training can continue as normal, but some issues have reared their ugly heads. We are already receiving resistance to the idea of training from some of the subjects, and an alarming amount of them have developed dispositions that aren’t exactly compatible with being a soldier. Still, this is a minor setback at most and I have been assured by the training staff that things will progress as intended. I hope they know what they’re doing, but the emperor chose them personally so they must be good at their job.

Despite this hiccup I can’t help but be hopeful for the future. Every other aspect of CHIMERA has gone off without a hitch. I’m already seeing promising results from my initial tests of the clone’s blood and muscle cells. I will have to study them closer to get better results, but that will come in time.

Damn it's been 22 hours since I last slept. I should probably do that now.

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Celendor-15-991

To: allstaff

Subject: Plans going forward and clarification of CHIMERA details

It has come to my attention that there has been some confusion throughout the staff, both due to the unforeseen personalities of the clones and with general project protocol. Allow me to rectify these issues here.

[1] The classification of all subjects are as follows. Please remember this to avoid any failures of communication in the future.

Stage gamma: Subjects in the initial stages of testing. They will physically resemble adolescents, generally ages 12-15.

Stage beta: Subjects that are through initial training stages and have been curated into specified roles to receive specialized training. They will also reach physical maturity, resembling 20-22 year olds before their biological development and aging slows.

Stage alpha: Subjects that have finished training and are capable of being sent into the field.

Note: The ages attached to each stage are to provide a reference point to help identify subjects at a glance. Subject’s early rapid aging and the subsequent cessation of said aging makes any attempts at estimating age past a certain point futile. Please refrain from doing so

Addendum: This also means that there will be no attempts at assigning or recognizing birthdays. Yes Arthur, we mean you. Sate your addiction to cake on your own time

[2] Despite the unintended development of personality within subjects all current training protocols and methods will be utilized. The head of the training staff has asked that I pass along this message

*[While I understand that these new developments may be difficult to handle for some of you, it is imperative to remember that these clones are not people. They are more akin to automatons or even puppets. There will likely be many attempts to resist our training, do not waver. These clones are meant to be the bulwark of the empire. They need to be forged and tempered into weapons of war. If that requires us to break them first we must accept that. Use a heavy hand, accept not disobedience, and do whatever it takes to ensure the compliance of the clones.

Taskmaster Grestin]

[3] Remember that project CHIMERA is still in experimental phases. The genetic makeup, physiology, and even mental development and reception to training will vary from batch to batch and even subject to subject. Adapting to such differences will be crucial to ensuring progress of the project. If you happen to notice any abnormal physiological phenomena or behavioral anomalies please report to me. While these subjects are meant to be made into soldiers for the empire they also provide a plethora of opportunities for other fields of research. Within that vein, please refrain from killing the subjects. I understand that taskmaster Grestin’s previous statement emphasizes the importance of discipline but please, do show some restraint when possible. Creating these subjects is currently an expensive and, quite frankly, unreliable process despite our initial success. There is a reason this first batch only consists of 10 subjects. Please do not lower that number.

-Dr. Archimedes Yarru

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Dr. Yarru’s Personal Log

Entry 9

Date: Celendor 19, 991

Well Grestin has definitely earned the title taskmaster. I get that any training intended to produce super soldiers is going to be intense but, damn. I’m almost worried that she’ll kill the subjects long before they get into stage beta. Hopefully I’m just being overly anxious. I trust that Grestin won’t push them too harshly too quickly.

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Medical Report: Subject Gamma-A-8

Date of Admission: Celendor-20-991

Subject Gamma-A-8 was submitted to the facility infirmary at 8:26 AM on the 20th of month Celendor, year 991 by staff member Jules Armidin. Subject Gamma-A-8 was admitted due to severe injury and physical exhaustion. A complete list of afflictions has been attached to the report.

After initial treatments Subject Gamma-A-8 has been stabilized and is currently recovering. It is estimated the subject will be fully recovered within 10-14 days with no long term injuries or afflictions.

Attached - Trauma_Report_GAMMMAA8

[ Subject Gamma-A-8

Muscle tearing located in the left and right biceps, triceps, and pectorals

Hairline fractures located in the left ulna, left and right radius, and sternum

Compound fracture located at the tibia

Eye spasms indicative of long term sleep deprivation Mild concussion

General bruising located across the arms, legs, and abdomen

Lacerations across the back ]

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Dr. Yarru’s Personal Log

Entry 10

Date: Celendor 20, 991

At least the subject didn’t die. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dr Yarru’s Personal Log.

Entry 11

Date: Celendor 21, 991

Well if anything at least I have been able to study how the subject’s body responds to physiological trauma. The results are nothing short of remarkable. Almost all of the major injuries have been healed to the point of not impairing the body's functions, including bone fractures. I was as shocked as the doctors when a compound fracture seemingly mended itself overnight. It hasn’t fully healed, but the subject is capable of moving the leg to a degree, which is still nothing short of amazing. Accelerated Healing was something that was coded into their base genetics but this is more than what we could have ever expected.

I wonder if this trait is shared by all subjects or if Gamma-A-8 is a special case. Perhaps Grestin’s methods will prove fruitful in more ways than one.

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Dr Yarru’s Personal Log

Entry 14

Date: Celendor 28, 991

It has been less than one month since the beginning of project CHIMERA and the results are already beyond my wildest dreams. Despite my initial reservations almost every subject has taken to the training regimen, no doubt due to Grestin’s expertise.

Note to self: Don’t piss her off

Subject Gamma-A-8 has had a difficult time keeping up with the other subjects. Despite the subject’s remarkable natural healing it seems unable to match the raw strength and speed the other subjects possess. I am hopeful that it will be able to catch up, or at least be able to function adequately in whatever role it is assigned. If not, well, 90% success rate is still more than acceptable given the circumstances.

I feel as if I have gathered as much data as I can working on the peripheries. Blood samples and medical reports are all well and good but they can only get me so far. I haven’t had a chance to interact with any of the subjects thus far. I think it's about time that I change that.

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Tags: @haro-whumps @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi

#whump #sci fi whump #dehumanization #Dr. Yarru

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thoseofgreatambition · 4 years

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Dear George || Gred and Feorge

pt 1 || pt 2

description: Though he didn’t like to speak of it, George struggled after the war. He’d let himself lose step of things in the comfort of soft bodies and the hope of forever. Sleep escaped him. Worry consumed him. A spark of hope came from the cunning Gwendolyn. George tries hard to squash any thoughts down, to escape the cycle of mistakes.

a/n: I am so shocked y’all liked the last chapter! I hope y’all keep liking it. I’ve been hoping to convey my intention through this fanfic well, and I hope my messages about different types of health start to come through.

warnings: anxiety

Pairing: George x OC

Wordcount: 1.6K

“Hey Gred!” Fred was smiling brightly at his brother as George came through the fireplace. Fred was standing in their kitchen in front of a series of potions that he was going through dose by dose. His cane sat atop the counter next to a pile of product prototype sketches.

The elder of the twins hadn’t had too much to drink, seeing as it had been so long since he’d been able to, but it was just enough to keep him quite happy. He forced another potion down his throat, wincing at the taste. He’d complain about how many he had to take, but he was simply happy that the number was going down. “Where’d you go off to with Gwen?” If it had been a few months earlier, Fred would be quite confident with the answer to that question, but now he wasn’t quite sure.

They hadn’t really talked about George’s behavior after the war, but Fred was happy his brother seemed back to himself. George, for a short while after the war, had thrust himself into a series of ill advised relationships. The girls had all been a tad off their rocker but then again, George had been the same. Fred knew his brother was seeking companionship instead of actually dealing with the after effects of the war.

Really, Fred was much less worried about him nowadays, though the fact George couldn’t sleep was cause for concern.

He was curious about what had happened with Gwen though. He hadn’t seen her since before the battle, and tonight he hadn’t really gotten to talk with her. Hopefully she’d start coming back to London more often.

George raised the bottle of potion and the satchel of tea he’d been given as he walked towards the kitchen. “I told her that I can’t sleep and she helped me out.” There was a bit of hope in his chest that had gone away several months before when his other routes of relief had petered out. He’d sat with Gwen during potions. He knew she was good at this, and had faith in her.

He frowned as he noticed Fred all ready for bed and already working on his medicines. George wouldn’t say he coddled his twin, but after the war he’d been the largest caretaker in Fred’s life. More so than anyone else in the family. “You need any help there mate?”

With a shake of his head, Fred downed the rest of his potions. “Nah, I’ve got it.” He gave George a smile, quite certain as to what his partner was thinking. “You can take a break now.” As much as he appreciated all the help George had given him, it was nice to be a bit more independent now, and Fred wanted to start taking more care of himself.

Unsure of what to do with himself, without the task of taking care of his brother, George nodded and took the potion Gwen had given him. “I’m going to try and sleep.” Fixing the tea was next on his list, and he was hopeful that this might work. He situated himself next to Fred in the kitchen, leaning against a counter across from the stove as he flicked his wand to start the tea.

“Let’s try and work more on the Concentrating Candies tomorrow. I’m pretty confident we can get the recipe right with a little more tweaking.” Maybe they could get Ron or Lee to help out. Testing the candies on themselves time after time wasn’t always much fun. “We ought to get more test subjects this time, it’ll help out our sample size.”

Last time they’d made the candies too strong, and had spent the day hyperfocused on the shop. At least everything had gotten cleaned, George mused.

Fred nodded as he chugged the contents of a water glass. After taking those potions for so long you’d think he’d be used to the taste, but that wasn’t the case. He tried not to shudder as he focused on what George was saying. “That’s a good idea.” He knew what test subjects George was thinking of. “Let’s ask Ron. I think Lee’s busy tomorrow.”

Ron was more likely. He’d been quite helpful after the battle. When the twins had returned to their shop, it had been ransacked. Their inventory was all over the floor, shelves were broken, and there was enough soot to suggest that several small fires had taken place somehow. Fred had reckoned there’d been some misplaced spells when they’d left. The twins and Ron had been able to fix up the shop itself, and it looked almost as good as new. The problem they had now was replacing lost inventory. It was like starting from square one.

“I’ll pop over to his place in the morning and ask him to come over and help.” George stretched as he moved away from the counter. He was in a strange grey area at the moment, where his body felt tired from a long day, but his mind was far too awake to let him rest. “G’night Forge. Call for me if you need anything.” He clapped Fred on the back before walking out of their small kitchen, down the hallway and into his room.

Part of him was tempted to just head to bed and hope for the best. He took a sip of his tea, and decided against the idea. It hadn’t really worked for him in the past, and after all he’d promised Gwen a letter written tonight. With a flick of his wand he moved all of the clutter off of his desk, and sat down with a piece of parchment.

Gwendolyn, Gwen, Dear Gwen,

It’s about 1 a.m. I just took the potion that you gave me tonight, or yesterday, depending on how technical you want to get, and I’m drinking the tea. I hope you know that the potion tastes like piss. The tea is quite nice though, seems like something Mum would like. If everything works I won’t complain, and I’ll be sure to visit and pay you back somehow. If this works we aren’t even anymore, I’ll definitely owe you. Start thinking about what you want, alright?

Turns out I didn’t need to rush home back to Fred, he was quite alright without me, got all ready by himself. I shouldn’t be so surprised. He’s gotten loads better. It’s been almost a year since the battle after all.

George frowned and re-read what he had written. It was quite a frank telling of what was going on, but at the moment he was just tipsy enough to not really care if he was getting too personal.

It was weird. I haven’t minded taking care of him in the least, I know he’d do the same for me in a second, but it was almost disappointing that I couldn’t help this time. I’m happy, I’m very happy, but I don’t know quite what to do with myself at the moment. Have you got a potion for mixed feelings? I’d like to buy that one.

You wanted a joke didn’t you? One that isn’t an ear pun?

My friends say I say too many skeleton jokes. I suppose I ought to put more backbone in them.

Still a pun, but you ought to like it. I can’t exactly turn a phrase in a letter after all.

Fred and I are going to be working on our Concentrating Candies tomorrow. Those school aides I told you about. It’s a tricky recipe so far. First batch made us more distracted. Second batch made us sick. Third made us too focused. We did get quite a lot done on that last one though, so at least it was closer. We’re hoping to just get something done that will help students focus enough to not get easily distracted during a test or while studying, but it’s easy to get to too much or too little.

We’ll be doing the next batch tomorrow. I’m going to see if Ron or Lee can help us, it’s a bit better indicator if something works if more people can test it.

It’s actually really nice talking to you again, even if it’s just been tonight and through letters.

You ought to come by London more. Your old friends miss you here.

Don’t you want to open a shop up in Diagon Alley? There’s a lot of empty places now, that are going for pretty cheap. You ought to look into it. We could be neighbors. That would be nice. We don’t know a lot of people who live here. Fred and I are the youngest ones here.

I hope your Dad didn’t mind me popping over. From what you told me though he was probably happy to get another customer.

If this potion works I’ll be buying them from now on. It’s only fair.

George finished off the last of his tea, and felt himself growing more and more drowsy as time passed. Still, he wanted to finish the letter before he went to bed. He’d promised after all.   A lot of us that used to be on the Quidditch team, or at least on the Gryffindor one, are talking about doing a small game together. I’ll let you know when it’ll be. I expect you to come to it and play with us.

No more hiding away in Wales.

I was actually really happy when Fred suggested we do a reunion tonight. It was all slapped together, but it was really nice to see him well enough to go out and excited to see all his old friends together. I think it’s been hard seeing people visit him just because he’s been unwell.

I’m glad you came, it was fun talking to you.

I’m actually getting pretty beat now, so I guess you were right, relaxing before bed works pretty well. I think your potion is helping too.

I’ve got to go to bed now, so I’ll send this with an owl to you. I expect a response as soon as you can. I’m not letting you go so long without talking to anyone again.

From George From Gred Sincerely George George

George did a quick read over of what he had written before shrugging. It was a pretty personal one, but he trusted Gwen enough with all of this, and he was too tired to rewrite the damn thing.

Quick as he could, he folded the letter into an envelope, sealed it with a bit of wax, and handed it to the owl he and Fred shared. “Take this to Gwen, alright Peeves?” There was a muffled hoot in response, before the barn owl took off out of the window.

The redhead stretched and let out a yawn. He could already feel the fact that he was going to sleep quite well tonight. That was certainly going to be a pleasant change of pace.

Climbing into bed, George expected to be hit by the typical wave of concerns and busy thoughts that kept him awake all too often. Tonight though, he felt much more at ease. It wasn’t as if he thought Gwen was wrong when she said writing a letter would help, but he hadn’t exactly thought that writing down his thoughts would have such a big impact. Turning over onto his side, he shrugged the blankets on top of himself and closed his eyes.

For the first time in a very long while, George Weasley slept well.

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artificialqueens · 3 years

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Down with the Recipe, Bake from the Heart, 8/10 (Taywhora) - Juno

Chapter summary: In European Week, the bakers are faced with a French signature, an Italian technical, and a Danish showstopper with a personal twist. Meanwhile, Aurora and Tayce opt to begin again, Bimini’s actions confuse the other bakers, and Lawrence ponders the future after the show.

WEEK 8: EUROPEAN WEEK

Aurora glanced around the tent as the cameramen recorded their usual stock footage, taking in the bakers, and the immaculate condition that the workbenches were returned to every week.

Last week she’d let the competition warp her mind a bit too much, she knew that now. She’d let her worry talk her into believing that Tayce was faking all of her actions in the tent, every smile, every kindness; only believing that she was capable of negativity.

“You always think everyone’s out to get you,” Blake had told her, the only person Aurora could discuss this with through her NDA, “and they’re not! They’re just trying to do their best in the contest. It sounds like she’s nice, if she helped you out when you were stressing about a different bake, and you said she did it again last week.”

“And she came looking for me when I left, too,” Aurora had muttered, chewing her nail.

“She sounds nice,” Blake had nodded. “And what did she say when you said you didn’t want to fake-flirt anymore?”

“She said it was fine, that she wanted me to do well.”

“If she just wanted to win for herself, she’d have been annoyed, right? So she does care for you, right?” Blake had nudged her repeatedly until she’d shoved him away. “Hey! If you do that again, when the show comes out I’m going to the tabloids.”

“Fuck off,” Aurora had laughed, the first genuine laugh in a while. Blake had been right - and having a clear, competition-free head had helped her see that. The more she’d talked it out, the more her worry had shattered, crumbling to dust.

Maybe it’s a good thing we have a week to recover after each bake. It’s good for bringing you back to reality after this place.

When she looked over at Tayce, she thought that Tayce looked a little calmer too. Her hands, the nails now bitten down, hugged her elbows as she stood, drifting between her feet as they waited for the judges to come in. She wasn’t looking at anyone, not even Veronica in front of her - staring wistfully at the front, a serene smile teasing her lips.

Seeing her made her stomach do somersaults again, made the tingle go back down her spine in what Aurora recognised by now as her attraction to her. After all, they’d had eight weeks of it now. Eight weeks of this rollercoaster of emotion. And as much as Aurora had wanted Tayce to feel something more for her, she was certain that her outburst last week would have ended any hopes of that.

They’d agreed to go back to being friends. Aurora knew they couldn’t continue this fake-flirting thing. Not while the others here truly ached for those that had already gone.

Bimini’s strange, apathetic behaviour since Asttina had gone was a stark contrast to the bright, happy person who’d crimped with Noel and teased the rest of them. Veronica had barely spoken to anyone apart from Tayce last week, alternating between clinging to her arm, and twisting her fingers together in her lap as if missing Tia’s hand. And true, they weren’t close, but Aurora watched the forlorn puppy Veronica had become and a twinge of sympathy had shot through her.

As for Lawrence? It was still to be seen, but so far today Lawrence hadn’t really said a word, just a quick hello to everyone before setting out her utensils and ingredients.

With just the five of them left - Lawrence in front of Aurora, and Bimini, Veronica and Tayce on the other side - the gaping expanse of the tent felt too large, too echoey, space that needed to be filled with bakers.

Every week left the tent feeling lonelier, but Ellie’s departure had been devastating to Aurora, given how close they’d grown. Ellie herself almost seemed relieved at the reprieve she’d had, hugging everyone with smiles and cheerful words, until the moment she’d let Lawrence hold her, when she’d broken apart like her hand-risen pie had the week before.

None of them thought either would ever let go of the other.

Lawrence had held everything back until they’d gone back to Carr Hall. The five people in the room made the space feel too large. Lawrence had sat in silence, her finger at her mouth, until Bimini had asked her how she was feeling and Lawrence had broken down, almost inconsolable.

“I didn’t think I’d miss her this much,” she’d cried, putting her face in her hands.

“She’ll be waiting on the outside,” Tayce had said, patting her on the back. “It’s alright! You’ll see her again really soon!”

But Lawrence had just sighed harder, her face still in her hands, the room quietly watching her shoulders shake.

——

Signature: 24 Madeleines with two fillings (France)

“Unfortunately, Prue can’t be with us today due to illness,” Matt announced when the bakers looked around for her that morning. “So for that reason, we’d like to welcome a very special guest judge this week.”

“But that very special guest judge couldn’t be with us either, so we have this person instead,” Noel continued. “She’s a sweet lady who enjoys a fondant fancy or two. Please welcome Mary Berry!”

But as they clapped, the person who came into the tent was more memorable than Mary Berry.

“Hi, how are yous!” Blu Hydrangea, previous contestant from last season, and now best-known as a Mary Berry impersonator, with her own late-night talk show, came into the tent in a flurry. Aurora put her hands to her mouth in shock.

“I’m here to judge all your bakes this week, which just goes to show that the winner doesn’t necessarily take it all! Especially not the cake!” Blu laughed at her own joke. “I don’t want you to feel nervous, I will be as fair as Prue was, and she should hopefully be back next week for you all. Best of luck!”

The thank you chorused through the tent, but Aurora was tensing up. She knew what Prue liked, she knew. But Blu? She was a previous contestant, now instant celebrity! But she was also an unknown entity. Baking for Blu would probably prove very different.

Aurora tried not to think about how the bakes may need to be different as she added orange and lemon zest to separate bowls, to add to each batch of batter. In front of her Lawrence was taking raspberries from the freezer for her own bakes, her own KitchenAid whirring in the background.

As she was spooning mixture into the moulds, she was greeted by Bimini’s soft voice, becoming very familiar. Aurora smiled, not looking up, trying to concentrate on this week’s Signature.

“You alright babes?”

“Yeah, good thanks Bim. You?”

“I’m at my wit’s end,” Bimini chuckled, a darker sound than Aurora had anticipated. “I feel so restless. I’ve put my madeleines in the oven, but I feel like … I can’t do enough to get rid of all this pent-up energy I have.”

Bimini was wringing their hands, grey circles deepening under their eyes. This close up, the stark reality of their worry was showing through the cracks of their smile. They’d barely spoken to anyone this morning, and their smile was weak.

“Go run around the tent a few times!” Aurora said, half-jokingly, motioning with her finger in a circle.

Bimini sighed, shutting their eyes. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll do that.”

Everyone watched in astonishment as Bimini simply left the tent and started to run a few circles, lapping it a few times.

“The fuck’re they doing?” Lawrence muttered, turning to Aurora.

“No idea,” Aurora replied, shaking her head and going back to her bake.

When Bimini came back in five minutes later, they didn’t really seem out of breath, but they were red and flustered, some strange, frenetic look in their eyes.

“Bim?” Veronica said quietly. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, babes, fine -“ Bimini waved her away, picking up their oven gloves to take the madeleines out of the oven. “That’s helped a bit. Let’s get this done.”

All of them kept half an eye on Bimini the rest of the morning, their strange mood a catalyst for them all.

“This week’s a big ‘fuck you’ to brexit, I know that,” Bimini said, just as darkly as before, when Lawrence and Aurora joined them at their workbench. “I just … I don’t know.”

Aurora hadn’t really thought of European Week, the theme this week, as a political statement. “Are you feeling like it’s too political?”

“Nah - the opposite really - not political enough I think,” Bimini frowned as they pondered it. “And this - I mean, it’s a baking show. Why was this left until now? Closing the door after the bloody horse has bolted.”

They didn’t really get a lot more out of Bimini, as they seemed to shrink into their own mind, their eyes becoming distant. Aurora went back to her bakes, but Lawrence kept going over to them, as did Veronica, Aurora hearing their voices at intervals followed by Bimini’s placating them.

“Sorry if I went on at you a bit,” Lawrence said to Bimini at the tea machine.

“Nah, it’s alright,” Bimini replied warmly. “It’s nice. It’s nice to hear you talk. My mum’s from Glasgow too. Feels familiar, innit. Like a bit of home.” Bimini smiled a wistful smile. “I miss my mum.”

“She’s gonna be cheering you on all the way when this airs,” Aurora said. “Everyone will. The whole country’s gonna fall in love with you. You helping us all out on alt week, and turning the tent into a fashion show, and crimping with Noel -”

But Bimini laughed, quieter than usual, turning their face away. “You two. I don’t think that’s gonna happen. I’m just Bimini, babes. Just Bimini.”

“No! Positive mental attitude, remember?” Aurora said, but Bimini was already walking away, their shoulders hunched, as Aurora and Lawrence looked at each other, the same realisation passing between them both.

——

Bimini hadn’t finished the twenty four madeleines they were meant to serve up to the judges. They’d managed to produce twenty after misreading the instructions, but they didn’t seem to mind, shrugging when asked about it.

Aurora met Lawrence’s gaze as they waited, listening to the judges’ critiques, and they didn’t need to say a word to each other yet again to know what the other was thinking.

Bimini doesn’t want to do this any more.

Not that they could blame them. The fun was starting to go as more people left, and one by one, they were all waning as they lost their person. Asttina had gone three weeks ago now, Veronica was still pining over Tia, and Lawrence’s dry wit seemed to have left the tent with Ellie last week.

Does that mean it’s gonna be me or Tayce leaving this week?

Maybe Tayce was thinking the same thing, as they found themselves falling into step as they left the tent; and whether she meant it or not, Aurora found herself slowing her pace a little, letting the rest go ahead, letting Tayce slow her own steps too.

“You had good feedback this week on your madeleines.”

Aurora glanced at Tayce, who was looking straight ahead still.

“Yeah. Can’t believe it’s the semi-final next weekend too.”

Tayce hummed, raking her fingers in her hair, before turning to face Aurora. “Look, Rory - “

“I let my anxiety run away without me,” Aurora interrupted her. “I know that thinking things doesn’t mean they’re real, but all the fake stuff just doesn’t help me. I know the nation will love us, but you know, they’ll love us anyway, even without that.”

“They’re gonna adore you,” Tayce nodded. “They’d be mad not to adore you as much as …”

But as Aurora’s heart skipped a whole flurry of beats, Tayce paused, looking up to the sky. “Yeah. The whole country’s gonna fall in love with you, Rory. I know it.”

——

Technical: Margherita pizza from scratch (Italy)

Aurora almost laughed aloud when she saw the instructions for the first time.

Pizza? On the Bake Off? This isn’t real.

But she pinched herself, and that felt real enough.

She started off a little blasé but the more they all got into the bake, the more difficult it seemed to become. For a start, no one’s pizza dough seemed to be cooperating. Everyone started again, even Lawrence, the only person in the tent yet to have to do so; but Veronica was the first person to sigh in relief when her dough complied.

Next was the tomato sauce. Aurora knew she was a good baker, but that didn’t mean she was an amazing cook. Making sauce just brought back flashbacks of making white sauce in her Food Tech classes at school, to have her hopes of becoming a great lasagne maker dashed by her teacher wrinkling her nose whenever she passed Aurora’s hob, white sauce bulging with bubbles like a witch’s brew.

And when the pizzas were finally in the oven, all of them were second-guessing the temperature.

“How high are you cooking it and how long for?” Lawrence leaned to Aurora’s desk to ask.

Aurora checked. “One-eighty, and I’ll give it twelve minutes to start.”

“One-eighty,” Lawrence repeated, her thumb in her mouth, glancing from Aurora to the oven and then back again. “I have mine at one-ninety. That’s not too much more. Maybe I’ll turn it down in the last few minutes. Thanks, Ellie.”

“You’re welcome. Wait,” Aurora said, realising. “Lawrence -“

“Hmm?”

“I’m not Ellie!” Aurora laughed.

Lawrence didn’t. Frowning, she opened and closed her mouth once or twice. “Did - did I call you Ellie?”

Lawrence couldn’t meet her eyes. And Aurora found words wouldn’t come; shaking her head, she turned back to her sauce. “Don’t worry about it.”

But Lawrence chewed on her thumb the rest of the bake, barely responding at all to Matt and Noel’s time calls, and by the time she remembered to take her pizza out of the oven, it looked charred around the edges.

“Ah, shite,” she growled. “Shite with it.”

“Lawrence?” Aurora said, but Lawrence busied herself with a serrated knife to carve the burnt edges, or as many of them as she could before they were called to step away from their bakes, and Lawrence let hers go onto the tray with a huff, a balloon letting itself deflate.

Judging for Technical felt regimental and flat, everything sucked dry from the tent. Bimini hunched on their stool, hands cupping their chin as they leaned their elbows on their knees. Lawrence chewed her thumb, her eyes dull, not looking at anything in particular, needing a nudge in the ribs when the judges called her name.

But it had been Aurora’s pizza that had come out trumps, Aurora as shocked as everyone else as they all applauded her.

It’s a good position to be in obviously. Not having to think about Tayce. I can just focus on myself.

But when they’d all filed out, Tayce had hung back at the edge of the tent, and Aurora froze to see her, her unexpected presence disabling her.

“Rory. Well done on coming top in Technical. I bet this week is yours for the taking. Your madeleines were great, too.”

Tayce didn’t lay a hand on her as she did before, or put on any flirtatious tone; instead standing with her hands in her pockets, licking her lips, her voice quiet and a little demure. She reminded Aurora of her youngest cousin, coming to apologise after she’d knocked one of her cakes over one time.

Aurora swallowed, smiling mechanically. “Thanks, Tayce.”

Tayce held her eyes, a quiet, earnest moment. “I’m gonna go for a walk around the pond. Give some pizza to the ducks. D’you want to come?”

And the same tingling sensation started, spreading down her back, at Tayce’s words, her heart singing a little.

“Yeah. That would be great.”

They set off towards the trees, following the path to the clearing where the pond was. It was late spring, and Aurora could have sworn she’d seen some ducklings the previous week, so a walk round the pond seemed like a great opportunity to spot them.

Once they arrived, they were not disappointed. What looked like at least twenty ducklings following three mothers on the bank had the time of their lives chasing freshly baked pizza dough around the waters.

“I’m sure I saw somewhere that bread isn’t good for ducks,” Tayce said, “but what else are we gonna feed them?”

“We could have given them something from alternative ingredients week!” Aurora said, finding herself laughing.

“Or pastry week!”

“Or, oh god -“

“CHOCOLATE week!” They both said together, bursting into laughter on the bench, Aurora automatically finding Tayce’s hand and squeezing it in glee. As their laughter died down, she found that she didn’t want to let go.

Tayce was looking down at her hand, then up at her eyes, something flickering behind them, and Aurora held her gaze, wondering what she was thinking, her heart beating in her throat …

Aurora finally let her hand go to pick up another piece of pizza, and Tayce did the same, averting her eyes.

“I don’t know if we can feed chocolate to ducks,” Aurora mused. “I’m sure I read somewhere that it might kill them.”

“Chocolate week almost killed us, let alone them!”

“Good point. Well, you won that week, didn’t you? Getting your first badge!”

“It was a good week for both of us,” Tayce sighed. “A really good week.”

Tayce stared out to the pond, letting her hand drop to the bench beside her, palm up; and Aurora took it again, knowing this time it was definitely an invitation, rewarded by a squeeze as she interlaced her fingers into Tayce’s. As they sat silently, hand in hand, watching the ducklings, Aurora could have sworn they both let out the same contented sigh at the same time, could have sworn she saw goosebumps rise on Tayce’s arm.

——

It was so lonely in the hall. So quiet without the others. Tayce had been cornered by a tearful Veronica outside the door, and Aurora had left them to it, which left her in the big common room with Lawrence alone; Bimini having already gone to their room.

Lawrence still had her book in her hand, but she hadn’t turned a page in the last ten minutes, and kept letting it drift down to her lap as her eyes grew distant, staring out the window.

“I miss Els.” Aurora sighed eventually, her chin in her hands. “She knew how to get a party started.”

At first, Aurora wondered if Lawrence would acknowledge the fact she’d spoken, but eventually she blinked out of her reverie with a groan. “She irritated the hell out of me.”

“You miss her too, then?” Aurora smiled knowingly, and Lawrence returned it wordlessly. “Did you make any arrangements to meet her in Dundee or something after filming is done?”

“No!” Lawrence frowned. “Why would I do that?”

Aurora turned back to the table. “Sorry. I thought -“

“No, she’s coming to Glasgow!” Lawrence looked affronted.

“Oh! For a second I thought you weren’t … you know.”

But Lawrence just leaned back into the sofa, staring wistfully at the ceiling. “Let’s just see what happens, alright? I don’t want to say anything yet either way.”

Aurora leaned back with Lawrence, linking an arm into hers and staring at the ceiling fan as it turned.

Neither of them spoke. No sarcastic barbs from Lawrence, no dry observations like usual. It seemed like without her shield of humour Lawrence preferred to be silent, but Aurora didn’t mind; as they all became more comfortable with each other, there seemed to be less and less to say.

“Only two more weekends after this one,” Lawrence said eventually.

“Yeah,” Aurora sighed, “and then back to normal.”

“What if this isnormal now? Being on screen, baking stuff. I’m … well, I just hope I’m liked.”

Aurora heard Lawrence’s fear. Her words were quiet, timid at the edges, unsure of what was to come.

“Course you’ll be liked. We all like you.”

“Yeah, but you’re not the general public, Aurora. I don’t - I just wish I knew how we’re all going to be edited, and I hope people will still like me with all the editing.” Lawrence rubbed her forehead. “Fucking internet trolls. They can ruin you.”

“Who cares what some troll who probably can’t even boil a bloody egg thinks of you? We all know you, and we bloody love you to bits, Lawrence. And for every one … coward behind a screen, there’s gonna be like, ten thousand fans who feel the same as we do. Promise.”

But Lawrence was silent again, this time her breathing speeding up a little, a cold shiver at her arm. She unlinked herself from Aurora and stood up, taking a deep breath.

“I think I’m gonna go up. Netflix and chill with myself.”

“Sounds good. I’ll do the same I think.”

But Aurora didn’t get far up the stairs until she heard Tayce again, coming up the stairs behind her.

“Rory?” The warm voice and the accent still sent the shiver down her spine, as much as Aurora tried not to focus on it.

“Hi, Tayce.”

Tayce had a hand on her hip at the foot of the stairs, the other one raking through her long black hair. She looked tentative, cautious, but there was some peaceful, earnest calm about her that threatened to pull Aurora back into her jumbled feelings.

“I’m just gonna have an early one tonight. Put on some Netflix. Eat some madeleines or something.” Aurora indicated to the plate of madeleines she still hadn’t finished since this morning.

“Okay.” Tayce blinked at her, the smile on her face smaller than usual, and she let both her hands drop to her side as she watched Aurora on the stairs. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

But Aurora’s feet wouldn’t turn her around.

Jesus. Okay, fuck it. There’s only two weeks left.

“D’you want to come and watch some with me?”

Tayce’s smile twitched at the corners, just a little bit, but her eyes did not light up as they normally did. “Sure. Let me grab some pizza for us. Bit of savoury after all those madeleines today, eh?”

She waited on the stairs for Tayce. Let Tayce loop her hand into the crook of her elbow as she came up the stairs. Led Tayce to her room and set the tablet on the bed, as she put the plate down and kicked off her shoes.

Within minutes they were back where they had been before, under the duvet, silent as the episode of Glow played before them.

As much as Aurora wanted to, she couldn’t deny that Tayce was a magnet, pulling her towards her by some inexplicable force of nature. Aurora was no longer inclined to fight her emotions.

When Aurora reached towards her, to take her in her arms, she found Tayce willing, returning the contact and wrapping her arms around Aurora’s waist, both of them curling into each other’s bodies under the duvet.

That same, contented sigh in rhythm, the sound so near to Aurora’s ear as Tayce rested her chin on her shoulder.

And when Tayce kissed her on the cheek, it felt like a question; Aurora wordlessly twisted her head and kissed her back.

And when Tayce’s eyes fell on hers, lingering for an eternity, Aurora saw a twinge of fear, a rabbit in headlights, before she leaned in tentatively, giving Aurora the chance to lean away; but Aurora closed the distance before her mind had the chance to kick back into sensible gear.

It was more, much more than a simple peck this time, making Aurora’s chest flutter with butterflies; it was slow, languid, deep - maybe too deep, and when Tayce’s tongue met hers, her body started to pulse with fire; but then Aurora’s mind didkick in, and she pulled away, thoughts back in a whirlwind.

“What is this now? Is this …” Aurora shook her head, her thoughts frantic, trying to cling on to one to say. “Tayce - what are we doing?”

“I’m - Aurora, I’m kind of …” Tayce screwed her eyes shut. “I’m falling. For you. A lot. Okay?”

When the words spilled in a frenzy from Tayce’s lips, she opened her eyes again, and they were filled with a terror Aurora didn’t think she was capable of; and Aurora’s own heart bubbled, the strength of her feelings rising in a tsunami.

She squeezed Tayce tighter, as if clinging on to a sinking ship, legs intertwined in the duvet, feeling Tayce’s fingers grip her tighter too, her heart racing in her chest, her breath coming in short gasps.

“Tayce … I am too.”

——

Aurora never remembered falling asleep these nights, but she always remembered waking up, normally to an empty bed. This time however, she woke up to the gentle pattering of feet around her.

Checking her watch, she saw it was just before six in the morning. Filming wouldn’t start for another three hours, but she caught sight of Tayce’s back, Tayce’s retreating back, shoes in hand as she crept to the door.

“Tayce.”

Tayce whipped round to face her.

“You’re awake.”

“Yeah.” Aurora rolled over to her side, tugging the duvet with her. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” Tayce nodded fervently. “I’m gonna go back now though, to my room.”

“I don’t bite first thing, you know.”

But Tayce shook her head. “I want to get back. Get a shower. Change my clothes. You know, get ready for today. It’s the Showstopper, and I want to make sure I’m ready.”

“You sure? Positive? You’re welcome to stay. I’ve wondered what you’re like to wake up to as well as to go to sleep with,” Aurora purred, grinning up at her.

“Yeah, not now. See you at breakfast.”

The sound of the door closing behind Tayce sounded heavy and final.

Aurora pulled the duvet over her head, remembering that yes, they were still both on a baking contest. Competing.

This is so different from what we did in the tent.

There, Tayce had been overly attentive. There were constant touches, stroking her knees, smouldering looks, and little names that probably hadn’t gone unnoticed - lots of baby this and bitch that and the general underlying tension that simply did not exist in reality.

This, after hours, was far simpler, the most natural progression in the world. This was languid familiarity, curled into each others’ bodies, legs intertwined under the duvet while their breathing fell into a relaxed rhythm and Aurora linked her hands around Tayce’s waist, resting her cheek to her chest.

They had come a long way the last four weekends - from fake flirting as if trying to make an ex jealous, to whatever this was now. And it was only the beginning.

There will be time for the rest later. All the time in the world, after the contest.

——

Showstopper: Kagemand/Kagekone (Denmark) in the shape of a person dear to you

Aurora had been looking forward to this challenge more than anything this week. Everyone was, judging by the general good mood at breakfast earlier, no one with a hangover, even Bimini coming back on a high off their morning run. Aurora placed the picture of her nan next to the KitchenAid, unable to hold in her contented sigh.

As Lawrence was the only person in front of her now, she could steal a glance at Lawrence’s photo as well - a woman about the same age as Lawrence, her arms wrapped around her neck, both of them locked in a moment of joy as the camera had snapped.

“Chloe’s my cousin. And my best pal,” Lawrence said, a soft tone that Aurora was unfamiliar with. “I get her into trouble and she gets me out of it. Always has.”

“Do you see her a lot back home?”

“Yeah, at least once a week normally.” Lawrence rubbed the back of her neck. “Not for a while though, not since filming - she works weeknights, normally I see her on a Sunday afternoon, in the pub, for a roast and a pint.”

Lawrence chuckled, a strangled noise in her throat. “I’m looking forward to doing that again.”

When she turned back to grab her pans, Aurora went to her own desk, to peer around the room at who everyone else had, but it was hard to see. The sunlight reflected on most of the glass on the pictures, and Bimini’s was obscured, so was Veronica’s. But Veronica had already told them who she was making the cake based off of.

“My big brother, Steve,” she’d told them at breakfast. “He’s amazing. He always pushes so hard, tries to get through everything on his own! He’s shown me that I can always rely on myself to get through things. Myself is all I’ve got in the end.”

“Steve,” Bimini had muttered next to them. “I dated a Steve once. He was Italian. Well, he said he was. He sounded like he was from Clapham.”

Everyone had stared at them. It was the first thing they’d heard Bimini say since the previous morning, their odd restlessness making them silent the rest of the day. Aurora had noticed their eyes had dulled, their posture was slumped.

“Hi, how are you!” Aurora was pulled from her reverie by Blu’s voice as she joined her, in her Mary Berry disguise, smiling up at her. She fixed her face into a smile back.

“Who’s this lady you’re doing the Kagekone for?” Blu ran a finger down the edge of the picture frame.

“My nan. She’s so cool. I get my sense of humour from her. She’s the one who really got me into baking to begin with. When I was growing up, we’d always make cupcakes together, you know with the butterfly wings?”

“I remember that well!” Blu smiled. “It looks like you’ve got loads set up! And how do you think you’re doing in the competition?”

Aurora tensed her lip. This could be an opportunity if I can play it right.

“Why, how do you think I’m doing?”

But Blu laughed. “Nice try! I’m not really at liberty to say yet, the cheque hasn’t cleared my account yet for this guest slot! But seriously,” Blu said, leaning in a little nearer, “you came top in Technical, and you did so well in Signature. Do you feel like you have any reason to worry this week?”

Aurora let her eyes float around the room, lingering on Tayce for a second too long.

“Maybe not,” she shrugged. “I can’t help worrying though.”

“Are you worrying for someone else?” Blu’s eyes glinted with anticipation, and her smile was crooked.

Aurora sighed. “How do you know?”

“Oh come on,” Blu rolled her eyes to the ceiling, laughing. “I feel like everyone knows who Iwas worrying about last year, and I didn’t need to worry either - I ended up leaving the week before her!”

“Are you both still -“

“Yeah! Tell you what, if I was where you are right now, I’d be making my Kagekone for Cheryl. I’m surprised no one else here is making them for someone else in the contest; from what I’ve heard through the grapevine, things have been pretty spicy over these filming weekends!”

Aurora’s face grew hot. She smiled as best as she could, and ducked her head to try to focus on her bake.

“Good luck! Break a leg!” Blu seemed to sense her embarrassment, and blew her a kiss as she walked away, heading to Veronica on the opposite side.

——

“Aurora, could you bring your Kagekone to the front, please.”

Aurora stood from the stool, still a little nervous to present, but feeling the warmth of Lawrence’s smile next to her like sunlight on her skin as she brought it to the front. The Danish pastry had cooled, and Aurora definitely thought it looked a bit like her nan.

She winced for a second as Paul cut into the face, but when they bit into the pastry, showering her with praise about everything - the bake, the flavour, the presentation, the additional confectionary she’d done to go with it - the whole world in the tent seemed to swell with sweetness, the air full of sugar and glitter.

As she walked back to her desk with the remains of her pastry, Lawrence beamed at her, giving her a little clap as Aurora blinked back the happiest tears she’d felt.

Tayce was smiling as well. A little sadly this time. Her Kagemand hadn’t had such good critiques.

“Well thank you all bakers - you’ve all raised the bar even higher this week - and while you relax in the hall, we will deliberate who will become Star Baker, and who will be the next person to leave the tent.”

Tayce hung back for Aurora, reaching for her hand, and Aurora took it, let Tayce silently tell her she was happy for her. It was a good thing that Tayce held Aurora’s hand through the rapidly fading light of the day, for Aurora felt she might just float away without this anchor.

“You’ve got it this week, for sure,” Tayce whispered to her outside, while everyone else traipsed inside, leaving them alone in the grounds.

Maybe it was Aurora’s imagination, but Tayce’s voice sounded choked, her cheeks pinched.

She’s scared.

“You’re gonna be fine,” Aurora replied, as sincerely as she could. She knew she’d had good critiques, but Tayce’s hadn’t been as good as her Technical and Signatures had, and it was never certain; one slip on the flavour, and Tayce could be in danger.

Tayce swallowed, her smile stuck fast like concrete.

“Rory, this week is yours for the taking. Well done.”

——

“This week’s Star Baker made Madeleines to die for, and made her nan proud with the likeness of her Kagekone. Congratulations, Aurora!”

This time, the tears wouldn’t be held back. Lawrence nudged her arm as she clapped, while Tayce rested her head on Aurora’s other shoulder, and for a second the world felt warm and comfortable as they shared this contact …

But the person set to go home was a shock to them all. Tayce’s hand had been sweating in Aurora’s, but she’d frozen on hearing the name announced.

“Bimini. I’m so sorry.”

“Nah, don’t worry. I was expecting that. Nah, it’s fine!” Bimini gave a gentle laugh as Veronica hugged them, before standing and letting the others in the room come to hug them too. All four of them remaining, forming a circle around Bimini, all sobbing on their shoulders as they patted them all.

“Hey, no need for crying, I’m only leaving the tent,” Bimini said to Aurora, putting their hands on her shoulders and looking up at her. “No need for that! I’ll be right out there waiting for you at the finale, babes.”

Aurora sniffed. “We don’t know I’m gonna be in the finale yet.”

“I do!” Bimini wasn’t visibly upset. They weren’t shaking, or jogging their leg against the stool any more. The serene smile was back on their face as they held her eyes. “You’re brilliant. You can do it! Don’t be sad I’m going, babes. Be happy you’re Star Baker!”

And Bimini left the tent, going to their exit interview, as Aurora followed them to do her winner’s one, wiping happy tears from her eyes as night started to fall.

When Aurora called her nan to announce she was Star Baker a second week, her nan was even more tearful than Aurora herself, screeching into the phone with an energy that she seldom heard from her.

”You’re so deserving of all of this, Aurora, so so deserving! You worked your arse off for it and you did it! You’re going all the way to the final, I just know it!”

And for once Aurora didn’t even pay attention to the cameras as they pointed in her direction, not caring they were seeing her wiping tears that were black with eyeliner from her cheeks, not caring that her face was probably red and blotchy and swollen on screen.

Let them see. Let them see real moments. I can do this.

When Aurora found Tayce, waiting for her outside Carr Hall after the winner’s interview, silently holding her arms out to her, Aurora let herself drift into them, let Tayce’s kiss congratulate her more than anything else could. She was melting, dissolving, letting her feelings for Tayce run riot in her bloodstream, the most exhilarated she’d been so far, resting in her arms.

And when Tayce pulled back, to rest her forehead on hers, to trace her hairline, her jaw with her fingers, Aurora wanted to stop time in this moment, to hold on to it for the rest of her days.

“I know I said just friends last week,” Aurora murmured, “but maybe I was wrong. Maybe we could give it a chance. As long -“

“As long as it’s real,” Tayce finished her sentence. “Aurora, you have no idea how much I’ve wanted this for so long. I just want you to know that, okay? I want you to know it, and to know I’m not doing any fake flirting, or anything for the camera, okay? I want to know you.”

Tayce stroked her face, ran eager fingers through her hair as she met her lips again, and Aurora allowed herself to believe her words as much as she believed in her place in the contest.

——

FOUR BAKERS REMAIN

#rpdr fanfiction #rpdr uk #down with the recipe #juno #uk2 #baking au #gbbo au #taywhora #tayce #a'whora #bimini bon boulash #veronica green #lawrence chaney #fluff #lesbian au

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orlesianvirtuoso · 3 years

Text

Parting Ways

It was getting closer. Too close. Soon Mareloen will leave and she will be left to take care of the estate. Gone to Tevinter without her. Just as she wished…

But now things were different. There was no one keeping her here. There was Leon but well…

Her heart still aches thinking of such things. She was silly to think that it would lead anywhere. Even if he made her believe so she should have known better. And yet…

It was far too easy to get caught up in the fantasy of it all. She used those words once with Mareloen and he didn’t seem to favor them all too much. Her fantasy and his nightmare if she recalls correctly. Something about how Leon would have succumbed to mortality in half a century and the problems it would have caused. Genevive wonders… Sometimes it seems like Mareloen forgets that she too is mortal. That she too will fall ill to the fate of humanity. Half a century… To her it seems like a long while away but to Mareloen it’s not much more than a blink of an eye she’d suppose. They are so different… One day she will be gone and he living as if she never had existed. Perhaps not at first but after a couple decades or centuries surely her memory must fade from his mind. And there's a pang in her chest at such thoughts. A sadness to it all. When will it end? All the hurt… Genevieve remembers a time all she really felt was joy. A time she was able to find the positive of even the most negative but it seems as if the tide has turned and such things are becoming harder and harder. A certain despair… A hopelessness to the future.

But alas… Best not dwell on such. She can still put on a smile and pretend everything is alright. For now that's all she can do…

Like now! Grabbing the basket of goodies she puts on a smile and greets Mareloen as he enters the kitchen. She was going to find him but this works too!

“Goodmorning,” she greets all too cheery, the sound dancing off the walls to an almost eerie tune. “I made you some muffins. They’re fresh, straight from the oven.” Recently Genevieve has taken up baking as a way to pass time when she wasn’t studying or training. It was always easier to go to the market and buy her morning treats but now the market has become a place she avoids, everything reminding her of him. “I’m hoping they turned out better than the last batch. I couldn’t even get Hawke to swallow one and that man will eat anything. But I’m fairly certain I used the sugar instead of salt this time around. It’s not my fault they look deceptively similar. Quite suspicious if you ask me,” she jests, holding one out for him. “I used blueberries and lemon this time. They smell quite good, hopefully they’ll match in taste.” But her eyes shine, a sorrow laden deep within. “I know it probably won’t be as good as the ones I’d bring from the market but hopefully they aren’t too disappointing.” Looking up at him she waits for him to take a bite, a tad nervous for some reason. “I hope to perfect them before your journey. I wish to slip a few in your pack. Something to remember me by. There are only a few days left before you leave…”

Things were hectic to say the least. Tevinter was no small journey after all and they needed to make sure Mareloen left with everything he needed. If only he needed her as well… But alas. It was her choice. Her decision. And she doesn't have the heart to ask to come with. Not when they spent the past couple of weeks going over her tasks and duties here while he was away. There were too many responsibilities that needed to be taken care of and there was no one else to do them but her.

@daimeshadows

#ianazavi #daimeshadows #parting ways

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yourcoolfriendwithallthecandy · 3 years

Text

Why So Jaded? Chapter 4

Chapter 4! In case you missed it, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3. FFN, AO3

Why So Jaded

Chapter 4

Sunday night Violet took the new medication according to the new prescriptions on the bottles and noticed if she took it as directed, it would last her about two months. Which she sadly figured she would be using up in half that time. But at least at first, she was going to follow the prescription.

Monday morning came and Violet came into work with a cheerful smile and more pep in her step than ever and looking particularly breathtaking.

"Don't you look stunning this morning." Phillip praised when he saw her come into his office that morning, her hair was down and in curls and her makeup was done exceptionally beautifully and her attire was more colorful and vibrant and flattering too.

"Well thanks to you, I had a great weekend and the new sleep aids and painkillers are working really well, like exquisitely well. I got a whole, glorious twelve hours of sleep last night, I felt like I was ancient for going to bed at seven pm but I needed it and woke up refreshed and invigorated and I feel great so bravo to the medical team, they are onto some winners as far as meds, this is my favorite batch yet." She appraised happily which got Phillip to smile gratefully and appreciatively and filled him with relief and happiness that she responded so well to the change. Maybe once she was on these meds for a little while and saw the marked improvement, she wouldn't kill him for going behind her back and using Mr. Pine to achieve the breakthrough.

"So what do we have for Mr. Pine this morning?" She asked as she got a new tablet and got it ready to receive new data since the last one was broken beyond repair.

"Uh nothing new. He is working on a new project though that he got over the weekend that he's coincidentally needing to use the medical lab for. So he's actually in the medical lab right now." Phillip carefully and vaguely informed her.

"Oh, ok." Violet shrugged, not thinking anything of it.

"Well it's almost nine, I better check in with him, see if he needs anything. I'll see you later." She offered before she uncharastically kissed his cheek sweetly.

"See you later Handsome." She offered before she left as Phillip practically lit up with excitement. Oh whatever she was on, she needed to keep on it because that felt incredibly genuinely affectionate to him and he was over the moon. Operation Wife was on!

Violet felt so amazing, she felt invigorated, refreshed and not a hint of pain in anything. She could even wear these heels and not feel uncomfortable in the least. She didn't feel like her senses were dulled at all, if anything they were sharper than they were before.

"Good morning Dr. Gjersoe, Mr. Pine." She greeted cheerfully as she came in as Dr. Gjersoe immediately buried her schematics so she wouldn't see them.

"Good morning." They mirrored as Buddy was impressed she still didn't want to kill him this morning.

"I came to check in this morning Mr. Pine, do you have a moment?" She asked thoughtfully, wanting him to have some privacy from everyone else in the medical lab.

"Uh, yeah, sure." He confirmed as he gave Dr. Gjersoe a meaningful glance before followed her out of the lab and into a private office nearby.

"So...do you still want to kill me this morning?" Buddy blurted out which made Violet look at him like he was crazy before she laughed.

"What? Oh, oh because of Friday, no, no, don't worry about it. I actually need to apologize to you because you were just...being a decent human being by showing some sympathy and I was the one who was out of line and I'm sorry." She genuinely offered and it was his turn to look at her like she was crazy.

"Uh...what?" Buddy asked, completely dumbfounded.

"Ok, let's clear the air." She suggested before she did something with the tablet that shut off the cameras and listening devices in the office so they could truly talk privately.

"Ok, so Leslie sent me the audio and video of the conversation you had with Mr. Sebastian after I left on Friday and I watched and listened to it several times. You're incredibly perceptive and I believe that you were being genuine with Mr. Sebastian when you were talking to him and I believe you. If you say that you harbor no ill will towards myself and my family and by the sounds of it, you've been to therapy yourself to come to the realization that you by all accounts were unbalanced and super obsessed with my father which in turn led to some really bad decisions on your part and you regret it and obviously I see some guilt and shame in your eyes even now. And the fact that you put up no argument making me your heir apparent. Tells me that you must have changed in the decade or so since we were last in each other's presence. And a decade can be a long time and a lot has changed since then for both of us and our circumstances are different. And when you told me that Syndrome died that day in the jet turbine, I didn't want to believe you but after that conversation you had with Mr. Sebastian, and if you will swear on Tali - that Syndrome will never, ever get resurrected and the only person I will or anyone else ever interact with from now on is just...Buddy Pine. Then that's all I n\eed. We're both adults and professionals. I believe in giving people enough rope to hang themselves on. So what do you say? Will you just be Buddy Pine, a colleague?" She offered her hand to him to shake.

"I will, And I swear on Natalia Octavia that Syndrome or any other Super persona I could ever invent will never see the light of day." Buddy swore before he shook her hand which got Violet to smile fondly at him which he soon mirrored.

"Good, also word of advice, never, ever imply that Mr. Sebastian has super powers again. The last few who have- are now six feet under. Also don't ever make any comments about my relationship with Mr. Sebastian either, don't hint or poke or question or anything to either him or myself or anyone else, because again, he's very touchy about it. I'm surprised he didn't seriously retaliate against you for it, at least yet anyway. You got lucky, don't press your luck again. Got it?" She urged him.

"Understood." Buddy nodded in agreement. "So, how are the new meds working out?" Buddy asked hopefully.

"How did you know I was given new meds?" Violet frowned as she folded her arms in front of herself.

"Uh...you...you said you saw the conversation, you didn't see Mr. Sebastian escorted me to the medical lab?" Buddy questioned.

"I...I did not. Are you telling me that you're working on my own medical issues? That my new medication...came from you?" Violet asked as she tried to resist the panic starting to whirl in her chest but despite the initial spike in anxiousness, it never grew from there. If anything- she was able to keep it stable instead of being overpowered by it.

"He didn't tell you?" Buddy asked with a wince and a grimace.

"No, not yet." Violet took a deep breath and with a calming breath and refocus, she was able to fully regain her composure and push down her anxiety which soon dissipated as she was once again, able to look at the bigger picture.

"Ok, so this is your new medical project and why you needed to be in the medical lab over the weekend and from now on, of course, of course , why didn't I put it together." She muttered as she took a step back and took a moment to come to terms with it before she took another step forward and faced him and fixed him with a questioning look.

"Can you cure me?" Violet asked.

"In theory, yes. But curing you while keeping all of your powers intact yet freeing you of the crippling pain is the biggest challenge. However it's a challenge I'm very familiar with. Thankfully progress has been made since I last tried to tackle it and there are new compounds being found and tested all the time. All I need is time." Buddy professed.

"How much time?"

"Could be weeks, could be months, maybe a year or two at the latest. But in order for it to be effective I and the other doctors need you to be completely honest with us about what's happening and what's hurting and what side effects you're feeling and experiencing and what's been working and what hasn't. We all want to help. And in order for us to help best, we have to know more than what you've given us previously." Buddy pleaded because Dr. Gjersoe had told him that Violet was a difficult patient because she was so dodgy and mistrusting and super vague in her answers.

"Look I completely understand your need for secrecy, I built an empire on it ok? And I realize that as a Super, secrecy keeps you alive and keeps you safe right?" Buddy questioned and Violet had to nod in agreement with that reasoning.

"But like you've said, if you can just trust us enough to help, give us just enough rope to hang ourselves on so we can help, that's all we want. We don't need to know your life story or anything. We just need to know things like side effects and effectiveness. And we both know you're closest to Mr. Sebastian and he's been our go between but he doesn't always know what and how to ask to get the answers we need." Buddy added.

"OK, ok, fine. I give. Just enough to hang you all on." Violet caved before she re-swipped the tablet to reverse the 'lockdown' mode before they left the room and went back to the medical suite as Violet let them question and poke and prod her all they needed to and answered their questions to the degree she felt comfortable with and what they needed and when they were done she left and returned to Phillip's office.

"Hey, you were gone a while, everything ok?" Phillip noted and the smile that Violet gave him told him that she was far from pleased. It was her 'I'm going to kick your ass' smile and it gave him dread.

"Yeah, I was in the medical wing letting Dr. Gjersoe and his team know how the new meds were working out." She answered as she came and handed him her tablet.

"By the way, I had a very enlightening discussion with Mr. Pine about what happened over the weekend and why exactly he's in the medical wing." Violet leveled as she folded her arms under her chest and popped her hip and fixed him with a look that made him feel two inches tall as Phillip pursed his lips and had a guilty expression.

"So, what you're going to do- is give me the same clearance you have, so that I can keep an eye on this situation myself because you should have asked me about bringing Mr. Pine into this and the only reason I'm not handing you your ass over this is because I know that you're just as desperate for a solution as I am. And then you are never going to circumvent me again. Because if you do- contracts be damned, I will be gone faster than you can blink and I will disappear and you will have to spend every penny you have ten times over in an effort to find me again and you still won't be able to. This situation - will never repeat or so help me God, I will go full supervillain on your ass and there will be nowhere- where you can hide from me. I hunt and kill for a living remember? And I'm the best there is. You're lucky that I am able to see the bigger picture this time and see your intentions, although good- the way you handled this was wrong. Otherwise, I would already be gone. Also, you will not be retaliating against anyone for this because this was all on you and you can't hold this against Mr. Pine because I didn't give him a choice other than to tell me the truth. Third. I have decided to give Mr. Pine just enough rope to hang himself on along with everyone in the medical wing but I need you to know and understand, that I am holding you personally responsible for what happens next with my healthcare. Are we clear?" She proposed.

"Yes." Phillip confirmed as he went ahead and did as she demanded of him with her tablet, grateful this wasn't nearly as bad as he figured it would be.

"Good, now, let's move forward. There's the expo in Vegas in a few weeks, I think we should go and bring Mr. Pine with us- I can get him a good handler and we can announce to the world that IRize and SEB Industries are collaborating, get some good press for both of you. And if in the next few weeks, Mr. Pine proves himself trustworthy. We put a deterrent bracelet and a pin on him to keep him from running and we'll get him a handler. And if he does well there, then we can take him to Hong Kong and Tokyo for those expos in a few months. It would keep him from getting too stir crazy." She suggested.

"I think that might work." Phillip agreed.

"Good." Violet smiled victoriously before she took her tablet back and went to the tech department to figure out what could be used for her ventures and made a few orders before she went back to her office to find an appropriate handler. They had to be trustworthy, competent, intelligent, strong and versatile as she narrowed down her search to a few options.

"Good evening Mr. Pine." Violet greeted when she came into his lab for her evening check in.

"Good evening Ms. Parr." Buddy mirrored as he came over and put the cookies he had made for them on the island she liked to do their check ins at. He noticed she tended to stay longer and actually chit chat when he had snacks for her. Today was a cookie day he felt as she happily took a cookie as a peace offering.

"So, do you have anything outstanding that you wish to report?" Violet began before she bit into the cookie and practically melted in her spot. She secretly thought it was awesome that Buddy not only could cook decently well, but could also bake and was surprisingly very self sufficient. He did all his own laundry and dishes and cooking and kept his space pretty clean which always impressed her because Phillip was a master in the boardroom- but completely useless in a domestic setting and she doubted he even knew where his dry-cleaners was on a map, let alone what clothes needed to be washed vs. dry cleaned.

"Other than the medical lab is making you a three to six month supply of your current medication that should be ready in a few days, no." He answered.

"Awesome." Violet smiled happily as she notated that.

"So, I have a proposition for you." She began as she got a stool and sat down on it as Buddy took her cue and got on his own stool on the other side of the island facing her as he got a cookie himself.

"Ms. Parr, I'm flattered but what would Mr. Sebastian think if he knew a young pretty thing like you was propositioning an old man like me?" Buddy teased as he pressed a hand to his chest as he pretended to be scandalized which got Violet to laugh which in turn got him to chuckle. Pleased he could make her laugh.

"I walked right into that." Violet realized as she just shook her head.

"Anyway- so, on account that you appear to be very settled in, to the point you are already completely unpacked and you've sorted your tools and rearranged your living space- twice. I suspect that you are already showing signs of becoming a little stir crazy." Violet ventured.

"Dang it, I was hoping it wasn't that noticeable." Buddy murmured as he snapped his fingers sarcastically. God she was especially gorgeous today, he was practically swooning. He could smell the products she used in her hair and perfume she sprayed that morning as it lingered on her person. It was like someone brought a bouquet of flowers into an operating room because the lab he liked to keep clean, sanitized and sterilized. And while she was a Super, she brought a human element to this environment that he appreciated.

"Well, I may have a solution for you. So as you know, there is a tech expo in Vegas in a few weeks that IRize was supposed to have been invited to go to. I suggested to Mr. Sebastian for you to come with us and we can make an announcement of the collaboration." She began.

"What's the catch? Cause there's always a catch with something like this." Buddy asked with a puzzled frown.

"The catch is you will be wearing something like this the whole time." She said as she pulled the watch out of her pocket and put it on the counter and slid it to him before he picked it up and looked it over and resisted the urge to take it apart.

"Think of it like a shock collar for a dog to stay in an invisible fence. You will technologically tethered to your handler. But it would let you out of here and give you a tiny bit more freedom and hopefully you won't feel too stir crazy. And if that goes well and you don't hang yourself on that length of rope, then you can get another length of rope when could go to Hong Kong in a few months." She revealed to him.

"Would you be my handler?" Buddy asked hopefully.

"No, I'm already Mr. Sebastian's handler, I don't pull double duty, neither you or him could ever pay me enough." Violet smiled smugly.

"Oh come on, I would behave, I promise." Buddy vowed.

"Yeah I'm sure you would. But I can't say the same for Mr. Sebastian. My hands are already full if not threatening to overflow with just him. So I will be getting a handler for you." Violet maintained.

"So, all I need from you- is your word not to run or try to escape or make any S.O.S signals or anything like that, also a script will be provided to you for all press you would have and if you would need any new attire for this trip, that can also be arranged." She offered.

"And a haircut please." Buddy proposed as he ran his fingers through is hair, noting how it could use a trim.

"That can be arranged as well." Violet nodded as she made notes about it.

"The suit shop and tailor I like to use the most is Black Orchid and they will need at least two weeks to create your suits, would you like your haircut then or would you prefer to have it right before you leave?" Violet inquired.

"It can get cut then, might as well do it all at once while we're out." Buddy decided.

"Ok. Now for this particular outing, when we get your suits measured and ordered, I will be your handler and you will have your own security detail who will be armed with live rounds and you will be wearing a deterrent as well that will be tethered to me. Meaning you leave my side any other reason other than to relieve yourself, by a distance of more than fifty feet and at the least- you'll lose a limb, at the most- it will kill you. Do you understand?" Violet warned him evenly.

"Yes Ma'am." Buddy nodded in agreement.

"Great, now, what day this week would you prefer to go?" Violet asked between bites of her cookie.

"Any day that works for you." Buddy answered.

"Let's go Wednesday, give those tailors an extra few days on those suits." Violet proposed.

"Sounds great." Buddy grinned.

Buddy was absolutely giddy for the opportunity to go on an outing, let alone with Violet, he didn't care if a hundred henchmen joined them. He had to stay within fifty feet of her. Hell he would happily stay within five. The closer the better.

Wednesday morning Violet along with only two henchmen arrived at 9:15 a.m.

"Good morning Mr. Pine, are you ready to go?" She asked as she came in with two henchmen trailing her.

"Yes." Buddy answered as he came out of the 'apartment' section of his lab. Dressed and ready to go.

"Awesome. Before we go, there are a few things we need to go over. First- this is Mr. Leland and Mr. Nelson they will be our security detail, they will protect us while we're out but they will not hesitate to rock your shit if you step out of line." Violet informed him.

"Ok." Buddy nodded, amused at her choice of words.

"Also this is one of the tethers." She said as she presented him with the watch before Buddy took the one he was already wearing off and presented his wrist to her so she could put it on before she did, locking it with her thumb print on the face of the watch as it sized itself to his wrist and locked itself into his biometrics.

"And this is the other." Violet said as she took a pin from the same box in as the watch since it was with the watch and matched it style and fastened it to his shirt.

"The pin is your own passkey in the building." Violet informed him.

"Snazzy." Buddy appraised as he looked at it appreciatively which got Violet to snort a laugh and him to grin a little wider.

"OK, the next order of business is the safety protocol. If at any point our safety is compromised or something is going down or sideways, we're being ambushed or there's an assassination attempt or anything like that or even in the occurrence of someone imposter-ing myself or you or anyone else- there's a safety word I will use to positively identify you and everyone else. So I need you to think of a word that you can say quickly and easily to make sure that you're you." Violet urged him.

"Ok, what's the safe word?" Buddy asked.

"Twatwaffle." Violet informed him which got Buddy to bust out laughing.

"What? Of all the words in all the languages, our lives could be in danger and you're going to yell 'twatwaffle'?" Buddy asked incredulously. "You're serious? You're being serious right now?" Buddy prodded.

"Yeah, it has saved our collective asses repeatedly because everyone tries to think of really "cool" names to use that no one remembers in the heat of the moment. But in a life or death situation, you need the ludicrous and the unexpected but memorable to save your bacon. So when and if I ever have to use the "Twatwaffle" protocol. What will be your response? Because again, Mr. Nelson and Mr. Leland will also need to know it to make sure you are you and not an imposter or that I'm not an imposter." Violet maintained.

"Jesus, ok. Uh, if you're going to yell 'twatwaffle' I guess I could reply with Shmoke, like 'would you like a shmoke and a pancake?." Buddy replied because his brain couldn't think of anything else.

"Shmoke it is." Violet nodded as she put that in with a grin.

"OK, now we can go." Violet said as she then put the tablet into her bag and turned and left and walked out of there with Buddy walking only a step behind her with Mr. Nelson and Mr. Leland a step behind him before they went down the elevator to the SUV where Mr. Leland and Mr. Nelson opened the car doors for Violet and Buddy to get into the backseat before Mr. Leland got in the drivers side and Mr. Nelson got in the passenger side and they went to Black Orchid which was the best suit shop and tailor's in the city while Violet had an extra specialist to come in for the suit fittings.

"Miss Parr, always a pleasure to have you here." The shop owner Mr. Sudwar greeted as he came and shook her hand and kissed her cheeks as she did the same with a sweet adoring smile.

"Mr. Sudwar, it's always a pleasure to be here, especially when it's with you." Violet replied charmingly.

"Is Mr. Sebastian needing anything?" He asked.

"Not today, this is his new dear friend and close colleague though, Mr. Pine, and it is him that we are fitting out today under Mr. Sebastian's suggestion and highest recommendation." Violet introduced.

"Any friend and colleague of Mr. Sebastian's is one of mine. What can I do for you Mr. Pine?" He asked hopefully.

"The works." Violet answered for Buddy.

"Oh, well then right this way." Mr. Sudwar ushered Buddy before another man came to stand next to Violet.

"Mademoiselle." He greeted.

"Benny, thank you so much for coming on such short notice. How are you?" Violet greeted as she gave him a hug.

"I'm doing well. Always a pleasure to hear from you." He answered.

"Oh good, so I have a favor to ask- in three and a half weeks, Mr. Pine will be accompanying Mr. Sebastian and myself to an expo in Vegas and possibly Tokyo and Hong Kong a few months after that. So I need to have the same precautions and safety features on Mr. Pine's suits that Mr. Sebastian does. Because while Mr. Sebastian is my asset, Mr. Pine is Mr. Sebastian's so therefore he is mine as well. And I need to make sure that while we're vulnerable in the public, Mr. Pine won't be that exposed." Violet specified with a meaningful look.

"I can make that happen, but for the time frame, I'll need a 15% increase in my usual fee." Benny proposed.

"Make it twenty. It's all on Mr. Sebastian's dime anyway." Violet insisted with a flip of her hand.

"You got it." Benny nodded as he brought up a card reader and Violet got Phillip's business credit card out and swiped it before he got her a receipt and handed it to her.

"Thank you Benny, we should get lunch soon, bring the family, I haven't seen Annie and Maddox in forever." She suggested.

"Name the time and place." Benny urged.

"Anabel's', say noon tomorrow?" Violet suggested.

"It's a date, we'll be there." Benny grinned before he left and got his own materials and went back into the work shop part of the shop to work with the tailors just as Buddy was put into his first suit as Mr. Sudwar made his measurements and suggestions for the look of suit that would look best on Buddy, make him appear taller than he was because Buddy was on the shorter, stockier side as Violet came into the room where Buddy was up on the podium to appraise him herself, tilting her head to the side and noting how fair he was along with the shade of orangish red his hair was and made the mental notes of what suit colors would compliment him best.

"Miss Parr? What are your thoughts?" Mr. Sudwar asked as he also took notes of what she seemed to be drawn to on the fabric swatches before she brought them over to them and held them up to Buddy and Buddy was struck by how thoughtful Violet was being as she picked the perfect colors to compliment him and how she was already up to date with all the trends as she then made sure he would have all the shirts and ties he would ever need in a lifetime as she went through the place with a fine toothed comb and found all kinds of little gems to make Buddy shine like a star and Buddy was supremely flattered as he simply let her do as she pleased and always agreed with her suggestions. Because her taste was exquisite and flawless and he found it was sentimental that she went through so much trouble to make sure he looked good. If he had the opportunity, he would have reached out to Edna to create Violet a wardrobe of gowns and whatever else she wanted, if only it would match all of this.

And by the time they were done, they went out to lunch, Buddy eternally grateful it was actual fine dining and not take out. After lunch, she took him to Vers, a male spa that Mr. Sebastian and his staff and most of the male members of his company also frequented. Where Buddy also got not just a haircut but manicure and pedicure and even a massage and a facial which he hadn't gotten in what felt like forever and when they were done with that, they all went out to dinner. At a proper high end steak house and Buddy happily gorged himself on wagyu beef and when he was good and satisfied did they return to SEB industries as Mr. Nelson and Mr. Leland helped take Buddy's new things to his floor.

"I got it from here guys, thank you so much for your services today." Violet dismissed them as they nodded and left.

"You did good today Mr. Pine," Violet praised as she took the pin off his jacket and put it away before she took the watch off and put that into its case as well.

"I never realized you had such exquisite taste." Buddy praised as Violet helped bring his things into the apartment side of the floor which was in all reality like a high rise apartment.

"I've learned from the best. And having Mr. Sebastian as an asset, I've learned a thing or two about the way high society people look, act, dress and behave. I'd be a fool not to pick up on at least some of it." Violet professed as she put his clothing bags on his perfectly made bed for him to put away.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Buddy felt compelled to ask as he put his other things next to it on the bed as well, appreciating the intimate setting. And if circumstances were different, he wished there wasn't at least six cameras on them and they could really be alone. But the way Violet paused and looked away and bit and chewed her bottom lip and fidgeted with her perfectly manicured nails, was adorable, if not incredibly endearing and Buddy just got a sense that he was finally seeing just a little glimpse of the real her.

"Because a cage is a cage- no matter how gilded. If you can find contentment and a measure of happiness in it, the less likely you'll be to try to break out of it." Violet said simply with a sad smile as Buddy suddenly was struck by the truth of the situation. Violet was obviously just as much of a prisoner that he was. That's why she was being nice. She had been living like this for a year. He was barely in a month. She was coming from experience. This is how she was surviving it as he also wondered if that's what Tali had been feeling. And why she was always keen on missions. She wanted to break free just as much Violet did.

"How gilded is your cage?" Buddy asked as he shoved his hands in his pockets to keep himself from reaching out to her.

"A bit more so than yours, and a little bigger. But a cage nonetheless. I don't know how the next handler to Mr. Sebastian will treat you. This is my last assignment before permanent retirement. And I want it to be my best work. And I want it done right. And being kind, and showing sympathy and empathy are the best ways I've found to do it. I know three years seems like a long time. And I'll only be here for two of those three. And I have a feeling that last one will be the hardest. I can only hope my replacement will treat you with respect and dignity. You deserve it. Goodnight Mr. Pine." She bid him before she stepped around him, simply reaching out her hand to gently move him out of her way so she could get out of there because if she stayed any longer and talked any more about this, she would get in trouble in more ways than one.

"Violet?" Buddy called after her as she turned to look at him questioningly.

"You deserve better too. A gilded cage is no place for you either." Buddy professed as he had turned with her and was facing her once again.

"I know, we will just have to make the most of it won't we Mr. Pine? In our side by side cages." Violet urged as she picked her head up high with a fond and understanding smile.

"We will." Buddy nodded in agreement.

"Good night Ms. Parr, thank you, for everything today." Buddy graciously thanked her.

"You're welcome." Violet nodded before she saw herself out and dropped off what she needed off at the tech department and used the long walks from Buddy's apartment to the tech department to rein in her own emotions and reinforce her composure.

"So how was today?" Phillip asked as he came by her office to see her off.

"It was really good, it worked beautifully. He won't want to break free any time soon. He'll be happy and content for a while. Although I think if we make outings a regular thing for him, that'll be the best thing for the situation." Violet mused.

"I noticed your sympathetic "gilded cage" worked like a charm. He was practically eating out your hand." Phillip noted proudly and Violet could only huff a laugh. Of course he would think that was a manipulation. Everything was a manipulation to him. Even though Violet had been genuine in that sentiment.

"It did." Violet had to admit.

"Do you think there's a danger of you two getting too close?" Phillip questioned as he began to second guess his decision to have his 'pet' be their liaison.

"No. All Mr. Pine sees when he looks at me is Mirage 2.0. Mirage took care of everything for him, from picking out his attire, to managing his life practically, I saw it when I was suit shopping with him and picking shirts and ties out for him. He agreed with every decision I made and never argued or had a difference once, I'm surprised he didn't slip and call me by her name. And how he is with me is how he was with her before she betrayed him. Which is good, it's right where you and I want and need him to be." Violet assured Phillip. Because if she could make him believe that. The more freedoms he would perhaps grant Buddy.

"You're amazing, you know that?" Phillip praised.

"Thank you, see you tomorrow Phillip. Good night." She cooed with a sweet kiss before she left her office and went to her apartment. She got ready for bed and she thought of all the ways she could help Buddy stand his confinement better because as strange as it was. She had so much in common with him. They were practically in side by side cages at this point. She hated all the 31 cameras and listening devices in her apartment that she knew Phillip put there to keep an eye on her behind her back and she had simply learned to never let the 'act' down. She hated all the bugs and chips in all of her electronics and her vehicles. She hated how even when she went on missions. There was always SEB tech with her and even then it was like Phillip was always there and she couldn't escape him. It was why every other Super before her had quit. It was why finding a replacement anytime soon was nigh impossible. It made hiding her escape routes and hiding her back up plans from him as hard as it was but thankfully, not impossible. And while charming Phillip had brought her some freedoms and trust. It wasn't complete. And until Phillip eased up and stopped all of this surveillance on her, that she could never, ever give herself to him. And why she could never love him. Love without trust wasn't love. Love without faith, fidelity or commitment or compromise wasn't love either and while she had some power in the relationship, Phillip had the bigger share and the final word. But this was the only way she had found she could survive. And part of her reached out to Buddy. Because if she could make sure he would make it and survive this, then she could too. She wasn't alone, and that gave her hope.

Meanwhile Buddy was laying in bed and staring up at his ceiling, ignoring the tears streaking the sides of his head. How did he not see that Violet was just as much of a prisoner that he was? He remembered the lengths he kept his own employees under surveillance and his gut was screaming at him that that was nothing compared to the lengths Phillip probably went to. If he had to bet- he would bet her place was at least bugged. Phillip probably kept her watched so closely. To the point she probably felt like she couldn't breathe without Phillip knowing about it. The poor thing was just used to it by now. What could he do to help her though? This was the true challenge. How to get them both out of this alive.

Even if after her time here was up, if she was able to disappear and he never saw her again- but she could have a life of freedom and never be watched ever again. That would be enough for him. He just needed to think outside the box.

#Why So Jaded #Why So Jaded Chapter 4 #Synlet #Buddy Pine #Bartholomew Pine #Violet Parr #the incredibles #Corporate espionage AU #Modern AU

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 5 years

Text

Drain You

Summary: Steve’s bad mood comes to a head at his surprise birthday party.

Warnings: dub/non-con and explicit sex. Obviously 18+ (like this whole blog)

Note: Thanks to everyone who reads this little fic I came up with. It was kinda random but hey, here’s some dark!Steve content for you sweeties!

I’d love any feedback. It means a lot and helps me out as a writer to know people are reading. Thanks again and hope you guys have fun with this. <3

“The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.”

-William Penn

“You really went all out for the old man's bash,” You crossed your arms as you leaned against the bar beside Sam. You were among the first there to keep your host company. The club would soon fill up with strangers alongside your expected group. You weren't sure why he had chosen the venue, it seemed too much for the original Avenger's tastes and you wouldn't be surprised if he fled the moment he stepped inside. “I would have arranged a crib tournament or something.”

“Ha, Steve may be an old man but any geezer his age would give it all to be him. I mean, men get old but we still have the same...desires. Besides, I'm hoping if I can get him laid he might stop this whole existential brooding kick he's been on.” Sam chuckled, “He's been such an asshole lately. Our last mission, well… It's confidential but I'm lucky I got back in one piece.”

“I thought I was the only one who noticed,” You stared expectantly at the door, “He's been, uh, short, lately.”

“Hopefully a few drinks in the old man and he'll loosen up,” Sam excused himself with a nod to Vis and Wanda as they entered and you watched him greet them, adding your own hello to the batch.

You were suddenly anxious. Sam had confirmed Steve's recent ill-temper, so it was reassuring to know you hadn't imagined it all. Whenever Steve arrived for a briefing and you handed him his file, he'd take it without so much as a thanks, though his eyes lingered darkly on you. You had started to think that you had unwittingly offended him with some passing remark. You had scoured your memories for anything and it had only confused you further. The golden Avenger could be rather intimidating when he wanted to be.

The other guests streamed in among casual patrons and you waited with Nat as Sam continued to check his watch. Steve was late and his friend was getting flustered. Maybe he wouldn't come. You wouldn't put it past him and with Bucky as his escort to the surprise party it would hardly be unlikely. The two of them were a pair of crotchety old men.

Finally, Bucky stumbled in through the door and gave the thumbs up. Steve followed shortly after and you joined the crowd in the loud chant of “surprise”. He looked surprised but not happily so. You glanced nervously around, Sam clapping Steve on the shoulder as he and Bucky tried to smother his chagrin.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes at Nat. “Jeez, talk about hard to please.”

“Blame Sam. He's a dumbass to think prissy pants would like this.” The music was pumping already and you could foresee the messiness. Yeah, this would put Mr. Rogers in fine spirits, indeed.

You recalled your last interaction with the valiant soldier. You and Tony were going over intelligence but for every word you said, Steve had two to counter. It hadn't ended well. His last words echoed in your head. “Why don't you stick to your files and let the real agents do the dirty work?”

It stung even now. Even so, you had manners and had come to a party for him. The least you could do was wish him a happy birthday. You angled your way through the crowd, stepping up beside Steve. You were easily missed as he was much taller and Sam and Bucky gave him little cause to look down. You swayed on your feet, contemplating a quick exit before you were noticed. No, don't let him get the better of you.

You cleared your throat, Sam and Bucky glanced over and greeted you with smiles. “Hey,” Bucky said, “Long time.”

“I try to avoid those who almost take of my hand with a high five,” You hinted at your last run in and the reverberations he had sent down your arm. “Um,” You righted yourself and turned to Steve, “Happy birthday.”

“Ahh,” He raised his brows with a dry grumble. “Thanks, I guess.”

“Cool,” You shook your head and shrugged. There was nothing you could do to please the damned man. Every word you said seemed only to irk him further. “Whatever.”

You sighed and walked back into the crowd, finding Nat with Wanda. “I need a drink,” You huffed, “Better yet, I should just go.”

“No, don't,” Nat begged, “Steve's just in one of his moods. Let me talk to him.”

“He’s always in a mood,” You huffed and watched her weave through the people, barely visible past the bodies. She stopped before the trio and was greeted with grins. From everyone. Steve hugged her even and you cursed. What the fuck?

She looked over at you and gestured to Steve quizzically. Sure, you were the crazy one. Your nostrils flared and your jaw tensed. You threw up your hands and excused yourself from Wanda to visit the bar. Alcohol would make the night more tolerable.

=======

You had quickly forgotten about Steve's sour attitude for the burn of gin. Three drinks and you barely remembered why you were even at the sweaty club. You had even accepted a dance from a rather good-looking and handsy guy named Tom. At least that's what you were sure you had heard above the bass and buzz of voices. You grinded against him, reverting to the young university girl getting wild and not the disciplined intelligence agent working for Stark Industries.

As the song ended, you parted from Tom. You enjoyed the dance but you weren't looking to go home with anybody. Besides your bladder was full and the seal was about to break. Your cheeks were hot and a smile painted your face as you searched for Nat. Hmm, it actually looked like most of your party was gone. Sam was in the corner playing some dumb game with Bucky and everyone else had seemingly dispersed. The only other face you recognized was Steve's and he looked as unimpressed as earlier. You were chilled to find him watching you as you swayed through the bodies. His blue eyes bore into you and you hiccuped, your face falling as you spun away from him.

Toilet. Now.

You made your way along the back hallway, edging past the men's room and dipping into the ladies’. You tripped into the first stall and frantically pulled up your skirt, rolling down your panties as you hovered over the bowl. You sighed in relief as the stream began and you felt slightly less tipsy. It was past time to go home.

You finished up and wobbled out to the sink, washing your hands as best as you could in the seedy bathroom. You heard the door open and close and kept your head down; you were surprised it wasn't busier in here. You turned off the faucet, grabbing a strip of paper towel and the latch on the door made an audible click, breaking your drunken haze. Your head shot up and you looked at the mirror, dropping the paper towel as you found Steve staring over your head. The last of the alcohol cleared from your head; you were suddenly and frighteningly sober.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” You turned, bracing the edge of the counter for balance.

“What the fuck were you doing out there?” He barked. “Trying to make me jealous?”

“What are you talking about?” Your words were garbled as he stepped closer.

“You and that guy. You should've just fucked him right on the floor and been done with it.”

“Steve!” You slid along the counter as he loomed nearer, “Get out of here!”

“What? You'll rub your ass against some stranger but won't give me a second look?” He spat.

“I have no idea what you're talking about. What are you --” He closed in, barely a foot away as you found yourself trapped between him and the row of sinks.

“You and that skirt. Your tight blouses. You think I haven’t noticed,” He snorted, “You flirt with every guy you meet. Except me.”

“What?” You shook your head, “I don’t--Being nice isn’t flirting, Steve.”

“Is it a challenge to you? To see how far you can push me before I do something?” His tone was sharp and he seized you arm, pulling himself nearer.

“Alright,” You said airily, trying to keep cool, “Very funny, I get it. You’re just trying to put me in the my place. I’m just the girl with the files and you’re the mighty super soldier.”

“You’re a tease,” He snapped, holding you against the sink. “And I’m not to be played with.”

“Let me go,” You wriggled against his grip and his other hand came up to your hair, forcing your head back roughly. “Steve!” You hissed.

“Steve!” He mimicked, pulling you away from the sink and twisting you around painfully by your hair.

He turned you as you whined at the burning in your scalp, pressing himself to your back as he shoved you face first into the wall. Your cheek was against the tile as he held you there by your hair and his other hand brushed along you stomach and down the front of your skirt. His fingers crawled under the hem and he tugged it up as your hand caught his. He pushed harder on your head and grabbed your wrist, bending it back until you hissed.

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” He focused again on rolling up your skirt, the fabric bunching around your waist as your panties were bared. He gripped the pink cotton, leaning down to speak into your ear. “Hmm, dancing with that guy? I can give you the real thing.”

“Please,” You reached up to his hand buried in your hair, “You’re hurting me.”

“You get what you give,” He tore your panties in a single motion, the force seared your skin as the fabric braced against you. “You think it doesn’t hurt me, watching you prance around in those heels, my cock hard as hell.”

You closed your eyes as you tried to remember anything you had done to encourage him. You didn’t flirt with anyone in the office, you were a professional. You had your little jokes but nothing close to scandalous. And you had never given Steve any reason to think you anything more than a colleague. You couldn’t figure out where all this had come from. It didn’t really matter now; he had you exactly where he wanted.

Your panties fell loosely to your ankles and you squirmed, trying to free yourself as his hand spread across your ass. He kicked your feet apart as he tickled along your pelvis, edging just above your pussy. “Besides, you didn’t even get me a birthday present.” He rasped in your ear. You could feel his erection through his jeans as it rubbed against your back.

You used both hands to claw at his hand tangled in your locks and he lightened his grip slightly only to bring your head bluntly back to the tile. It was enough to set you off-kilter but not enough to do real damage. It was a warning. His fingers traced a decisive line to your pussy, two plunged between your folds and settled on your clit. As he pressed down, you flinched, closing your eyes with a gasp.

“I knew it,” His voice had turned dusky, “I knew you wanted it.”

“N...n..n…” You quavered as fear and unexpected delight overwhelmed you. He drew firm spirals along your clit and you couldn’t help but shudder at the sensation.

“Shut up,” He snarled, withdrawing his hand sharply.

You felt him fumbling around behind you and the audible *zip* of his jeans had you bracing the tile, trying to get away. He was unbothered as he easily held you in place. He planted his feet on either side of yours and you felt a prod along your ass as he positioned himself. You reached down and tried to stop him from going further. He released your head and caught both your wrists, twisting both up against your back causing you to whimper. He held them between one hand, just above your ass at an agonizing angle.

He used his other hand to line himself up with your entrance, his grip on your arms forcing you to arch. He paused and you gulped, a spark of hope that he’d suddenly regain some sense. He shoved himself inside you sharply, your whole body jolted by it. Your walls screamed as he filled you to his base, ignoring all resistance. You cried out, the sudden invasion both painful and peculiar. The toes of your heels were barely on the floor to hold you up, your legs weak.

With both hands back on your arms, he grabbed your elbows, holding them back as he crushed you heavier against the wall. He pulled back and thrust again, again, again. His motion was jagged, a moment between each as he savoured how your entire figure convulsed with each snap of his hips. You squeaked, your whirring nerves dulled the pain. Your back ached as it was curved unnaturally, his grip tightened on your arms. His grunts interspersed with his thrusts.

As his pace grew more fluid, you felt yourself easing onto him. Your walls clenched around him and you could feel the wetness as it coated his cock. You felt the shame burning your hot cheek as it was flush against the cool tile. Your thighs tingled, your muscles weak and twitching as his thrusts inflamed your core.

He let go of your arms, your hands flat on the wall as he groped your chest, holding you to him as continued to pound you. He pulled you away from the wall, keeping you on him as his thrusts never wavered. A long moan escaped your lips as he sank even deeper, holding you up with an arm around your waist. The sudden change of pressure in your head and that nestled in your pussy was too much. His other arm reached diagonal across your chest, his hand clutched your shoulder, adding to the force of his cock as he delved inside, harder and harder.

Your breath was ragged, your hands weakly grabbing at his arms, feebly trying to free yourself. You shivered, the wire drawn tighter and tighter as you felt your muscles seizing. You pressed your lips together, nails digging into his arm as you tried to fight the sudden rise. You pushed your head back against his shoulder, teeth bared, your entire body quivering as your orgasm shook you. You could hear the satisfaction in his grunt.

“I knew it,” He brought you to your feet, pulled out of you and spun you around before you could get your balance.

You tried to slap him away even as you were dizzied in your ecstasy but he easily batted away you hands. He lifted you again, forcing your legs around him as he held you chest to chest. He entered you swiftly, easily moving you up and down his length. You were nothing to him; light as air. He rocked into you as he kept you aloft, hooking his arms under your legs as you hung onto his shoulders, afraid to fall.

He began to quake, his head thrown back as he groaned with each thrust. He was in a trance, chasing his climax until it spilled within you hotly. He stilled you, buried to his limit, and sighed. His chest heaved and he opened his eyes, smirking at you triumphantly.

“Hell of a birthday present.” He said as you pushed against his chest. You could feel the mixture of cum dripping from you already. He chuckled and pulled out, untangled himself from you, and lowered you back to your feet. You had to hold onto him for a moment to steady yourself which further amused him. The dark chuckle made you tremble.

You blinked as the reality of where you were and what just happened returned to you. You shook your head and rushed into the stall, grabbing a strip of tissue as you began to wipe away the remnants. You secured the door and sat on the toilet, cursing as you began to clean yourself.

“I’ll see you out there,” Steve’s fingers were just along the top of the door as he leaned against it.

You paused and watched his feet move, staring through the space beneath the stall. You could see your panties where they lay on the floor and Steve’s hand as he scooped up the torn cotton. You watched quietly as he stood and his feet headed for the exit. You heard him unlock the door and it opened and closed, unheard by those beyond in the noisy club.

tags: @meaganottiz02 @patzammit @thepettyavenger @biasedtittes @thosecikinnn @glitterypinkkitty @thoughtlesstales @lattaex @vitamingrant @lilithhellfire @breezy1415 @selinbaskaya @alexakeyloveloki @beautiful-and-strange @phoenix21love @momc95 @buckycaptspideypool @justballoonfishthings @ms-munchkin @whosmarisaaarw @kxllyxnnx @calspixie

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #fic #steve rogers fic #dark!steve rogers #dark steve rogers #mcu #marvel #one shot #dark fic #dark!fic

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artnerd1123 · 5 years

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Seraph’s Character Sheet

here’s a big ol heap of info for m’gal seraph!!! enjoy! (and apologies to those the readmore doesn’t cooperate with slkdfjks)

Character Chart Character’s full name: Seraph Sanyi Reason or meaning of name: her first name is a reference to her feral form, a seraph, and her last name means cold in hausa (african language) Character’s nickname: Ser-bear (only for roo) Reason for nickname: term of endearment, shows how sweet her nature is Birth date: October 13th (2017) Sexuality: panromantic Gender/pronouns: nonbinary demigirl, she/her

Physical appearance Age: 10 (note: familiars are “mature” at 3yrs of age) How old does he/she appear: anywhere from 18 to early 20s (depending on how mature she’s acting in that moment) Weight: she’s made of feathers and wool ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (But probably a lil heavier than one would expect. She is Chonk™) Height: 4’9’’ Body build: chubby and soft, like a pear shaped pillow Shape of face: sheep Eye color: normally black sclera, white iris, but they turn yellow with a black slit if she’s about to shift forms. In her feral form, they’re all silver! Glasses or contacts: neither! Skin tone: mostly a very light silvery pink color, but her ears/mask around her eyes/legs/hooves are all a dark shade of purple Distinguishing marks: none Predominant features: her wings! they have white/gold/purple feathers, also her “halo” (gold ring above her head) Hair color: white Type of hair: tightly curled wool! Hairstyle: sometimes she puts it up, but usually its just down/puffy Voice: singsong, kinda bell-like when laughing, pleasant to listen to ((her voiceclaim is over here!)) Overall attractiveness: any familiar will tell u she’s p cute Physical disabilities: none Usual fashion of dress: normally wears stuff with bright colors. You can catch her in dress shirts or sweaters with khakis/jeans/leggings, dresses, anything really, as long as it looks cute! Favorite outfit: long pinkish purple shirt, tan shorts, brown ropy looking belt Jewelry or accessories: none (note: the ring on her head is actually part of her)

Personality Good personality traits: optimistic, eager to help others, selfless, modest, generous, incredibly caring and compassionate, kind, gentle, patient, perseverant, emphatic, extremely hard worker, has a good eye for detail Bad personality traits: blind faith in those she loves, hides own problems by bottling up negative/melancholy emotions, doesn’t give herself enough credit, gives too many chances, refuses to acknowledge reality if it would make a loved one unhappy, often overexerts and exhausts herself from giving too much, is scared of being the center of attention, gets horrible chest-aching anxiety from seeing things in physical pain, can give quite the cold shoulder if made angry Mood character is most often in: happy, or as close to it as she can get! Sense of humor: she’ll laugh at almost anything as long as its not morbid or offensive. Fond of knock knock jokes, and absolutely loves puns Character’s greatest joy in life: her ability to create things and to fly Character’s greatest fear: being completely useless Why: She wants to help people out, and it pains her to see others in pain. Not to mention she’s been told the reason for her existence is to help people. If she’s unable to do so, she feels like she’s failed as a familiar and a person to do her duty in the world, and to others. It literally tears her apart inside. What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? Corruption and/or death of her loved ones (more specifically: her originator) Character is most at ease when: hanging out somewhere warm with some good friends, like at a small party/event, or at her house Most ill at ease when: in a cold, dark, and silent place, such as a tomb/cemetery or low level of a building/dungeon Enraged when: people hurt others/are incredibly rude/are mean/are outright cruel for no reason Depressed or sad when: she’s unable to lift evangel’s mood, she hasn’t been able to socialize, the things she bakes taste horrible/burn many times in a row, or she loses her voice Priorities: number one priority is taking care of evangel. Number two is making sure those she comes into contact with are happy, or at least to learn why they’re not in order to try and change that. After these is trying to improve herself/her abilities Life philosophy: treat others with utmost kindness unless they give you a good reason not to (and even then, try to be fair about it.) Everyone can change and grow; be mindful of the flowers, sprouts, and blooms around you. Do your best to help nurture them all. If granted one wish, it would be: to make everyone happy Why: The gal just… genuinely wants to see everyone smile and experience joy. No malice, no secret plans, just a true smile and good feelings for everyone. It’s what they deserve. Character’s soft spot: small fluffy animals, and any nice word or gift directed at/given to her Is this soft spot obvious to others?: ohhh yeah. She pretty much melts in the presence of tiny baby floofs, and in the face of any nice thing done for her/said to her ever Greatest strength: her almost unwavering dedication/loyalty to her friends/family Greatest vulnerability or weakness: it’s easy to make her feel that she’s failing Biggest regret: not doing better for evangel Minor regret: not adding more cinnamon to her latest batch of monkey bread- it really did need some more Biggest accomplishment: helping evangel start up and successfully upkeep her shop Minor accomplishment: making her own recipe for extremely good cinnamon chocolate chip cookies (she saves it for her bad days) Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: once she accidentally almost set the whole kitchen on fire when evangel wasn’t home. She ended up charring a cabinet and losing a whole box of fabric scraps before she managed to put it out. Why: it was a complete accident, and she takes pride in her work. Such a big slip up is v embarrassing for her Character’s darkest secret: sometimes, on her worst days, all she wants to do is fly away from her life, her friends, and everything, and go away over the ocean, not to return Does anyone else know? No. She keeps these thoughts to herself.

Goals Drives and motivations: see most important childhood memory. Additionally, she believes that everyone deserves good things, and strives to do her part in that regard. She also loves to create, especially songs and recipes. This motivates her to experiment and have fun with what she does! Her creative drive may increase or falter depending on her mood. Immediate goals: stay on top of shop orders, finish her latest song, and make some more brownies Long term goals: keep the shop running, make evangel happy, and possibly open up a small baked goods section of the shop someday How the character plans to accomplish these goals: hard work and a happy, can do attitude, as well as finding some time to herself in which to attend to her more personal goals How other characters will be affected: hopefully very positively!

Past Hometown: whichever ocean town she’s livin in rn Type of childhood: (I’m counting the first three years of her life as childhood) it was… alright. She learned quick to hide her own bad emotions though. They seemed to distress evangel, and on top what other issues seraph saw her struggling with, she didn’t wanna be a bother. Around the same time, her feral form lost its healing power and became prone to lashing out. She put a stop to that as soon as she could, and gained control over herself in that form as well. Other than those instances it was mostly a happy “childhood.” Pets: none First memory: seeing evangel and her room Most important childhood memory: one of the first things evangel told seraph about being a familiar was that they were supposed to help their originators and make them happy. Alternatively, evangel said she was proud of seraph after she completed a whole dress by herself. Evangel was smiling so much, and she looked so happy. Why: seeing evangel so happy and proud delighted her, and she wants nothing but to replicate that happiness for her. It drives how hard she works to help her. The first memory does the same thing, and shows why she blames herself for a lot of what’s going on. Childhood hero: looked up to evangel for a short time Dream job: baker Education: she can read/write/do basic math just fine, and knows a good deal about cooking/sewing/tailor work/etc, as well as some psychology/interpersonal relationships stuff. Definitely more self taught and street smart, though. Religion: n/a Finances: evangel took care of her

Present Current location: same as childhood Currently living with: evangel Pets: none Religion: n/a Occupation: assists evangel in running her shop Finances: she n evangel use the shop money ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Family Mother: Evangel Relationship with her: complicated, seraph gives more than she gets in return and does most of the emotional labor, supportive but not very well (like one of those noodle/marshmallow towers kinda), draining at times but does produce good moments and a (generally) loving home Father: Relationship with him: Siblings: Relationship with them: Spouse: Roo (in the future) Relationship with them: loving and healing, they take the time to work through any issues (even specific to one another) and make sure to listen to/care for each other always. Literally Goals™ Children: Relationship with them: Other important family members: Journal Drapht and Ruffy Drapht (both in the future)

Favorites Color: pink!!! She also loves blue, like the sky. Together they make cotton candy!!! Least favorite color: swampy green/brown, along with bone white. They make her uncomfy Music: upbeat, happy tunes, particularly old timey piano/carnival songs. Flute music is also her jam Food: sweets!!! Candy is appreciated, but especially baked goods like brownies/cookies (which is why her baking/comfort eating combo usually works to calm her) Literature: cookbooks, music theory/history, and fables/short stories Form of entertainment: creating things (with her hands or her voice), and seeing others create too. Loves watching shows and having evangel animate books Expressions: a smile!!! Especially those small, contented ones, when you can tell someone is truly at peace and happy with their lot Mode of transportation: flying (as long as she’s the one doin it!) Most prized possession: an old, delicate sheet of music. It was the first song she sang, and it has many notes scribbled in the margins about different tunes and little improvements it could have. It reminds her of simpler times, and gives her a sweet nostalgia. It’s also a reminder of how far she’s come in life.

Habits Hobbies: baking, singing, reading, flying Plays a musical instrument? If voice counts, then yep! Plays a sport? Nope, but she may join in from time to time How he/she would spend a rainy day: curled up with a good book, or singing some new songs she wanted to practice. She finds the rain adds a nice ambiance to her voice Spending habits: doesn’t tend to buy much aside from food or whatever new fabric/etc evangel needs. She will splurge from time to time and get new books for herself tho (songbooks and cookbooks mostly) Smokes: nope Drinks: nope Other drugs: noooope What does he/she do too much of? Suppressing her negative emotions instead of addressing them/venting What does he/she do too little of? Spending time away from the shop/evangel Extremely skilled at: figuring out what emotions others are feeling and helping them through it, and singing (despite her minor case of stage fright) Extremely unskilled at: sports, anything mechanical, fighting, handling physical injuries Nervous tics: humming, playing with her hair, comfort eating, and compulsively organizing things Usual body posture: standing up straight and tall! Mannerisms: Always nice and kind to everyone she meets. Keeps up a cheery, positive attitude, and is almost always smiling. Tries her hardest to make everyone around her happy. Does her best on every single task assigned to her. Tends to speak in a singsong voice unless she’s not feeling great. Goes off on her own when in a bad mood. Very neat and organized, and always has some sort of advice or gentle word ready. Peculiarities: her gold ring will seem to float higher or lower above her head depending on her mood. Also hums/trills/makes some kinda quiet sound like all the time- if she isn’t, something’s probably wrong.

Traits Optimist or pessimist? Big optimist!!! Introvert or extrovert? Mostly extrovert, though she has her more introverted days n needs time to herself Daredevil or cautious? Cautious ftw Logical or emotional? Emotional, but she can usually apply some logic unless the situation is horrible Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Neat!!! V neat!!! Doesn’t mind a mess but she really likes to have a tidy space around her Prefers working or relaxing? Both. Prefers working to help others, but relaxing/bonding time is incredibly important to her Confident or unsure of himself/herself? Mostly confident, but she can get really self conscious some days Animal lover? Y e s

Self-Perception How they feel about themself: she feels that she does her best, even if it’s not always THE best, and that she’s a pretty nice person overall. Wishes she could work harder despite her limits. One word the character would use to describe self: kindhearted One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: “My name is Seraph Sanyi, and I’m a 10 year old familiar. I’m kind, gentle, emphatic, and a big optimist. I’m a hard worker, and always try to give whatever task I have my best shot. If you’ve got something to do, then why not do it well? Especially if it’s for someone else. I do what I can to try and help people as often as I’m able. Everyone deserves a bit of sunshine in their life!” “I-If you were asking about my hobbies, i like baking! Finding new recipes to try and making all sorts of sweet treats… I could do that all day long. Creating things makes me feel all warm inside. Oh, and i sing sometimes. I don’t really like singing in front of people, though. I’d much rather be a stagehand than the main attraction. Th-that’s how it is in my life.” “After all, I’m here to help. It’s what I’m made for.” What does the character consider their best personality trait? Her patient dedication or soft nature What does the character consider their worst personality trait? how cold she can get if someone makes her angry What does the character consider their best physical characteristic? Absolutely loves her wings from her feral form. Normally, she’s fond of her fur/wool. Is v sof. What does the character consider their worst physical characteristic? Doesn’t like the eyes that show up all over her in feral form. Other than that, she doesn’t really dislike any part of herself. How does the character think others perceive them: she’s been told she’s a big help to others, a source of joy, and very kind What would the character most like to change about themself: she’d like to be a bit less of a people pleaser, despite her wishes to help everyone, since she needs to take care of herself too

Relationships with others Opinion of other people in general: she likes people. She’s under the “everyone can be good if they just try” mentality, and will give em plenty of chances to prove that right. Does the character hide their true opinions and emotions from others? If she’s mad at you, she’ll let you know. She values communication yo! And you’ll definitely be able to tell if she’s happy! But she does tend to hide feelings of sadness, despair, melancholy, hopelessness, etc. You can tell she’s not feeling her best if she’s really quiet. But she doesn’t tend to show many signs of feeling bad around people until it’s build to the point of a breakdown. If you manage to catch her in a less-than-jovial mood, it’ll take you awhile to coax what’s wrong out of her. (even if she trusts you, she won’t be forthcoming with her “blue” emotions.) Person character most hates: nobody bc hate is a strong word :V Best friend(s): evangel and a few of the familiars of regular customers in the shop. (Also, ruffy n journal n roo after story starts) Love interest(s): Roo :3 Person character goes to for advice: the town elders Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: evangel (and all her bffs/new family later) Person character feels shy or awkward around: people she doesn’t know well asking her to sing for them. Anyone who asks her to do something that’d make her the center of attention also makes her feel this way Person character openly admires: the sirens at the bottom of the sea cliff. She thinks their voices are beautiful, and that they themselves are gorgeous. She aspires to sing like them someday Person character secretly admires: the baker and the composer down the street in their own shops. They run their own businesses, are always kind/upbeat, and pretty successful in all their endeavours. They’re what Seraph secretly dreams to be, and she admires them from a distance for this reason. Most important person in character’s life before story starts: evangel After story starts: Roo, Journal, Ruffy

#queue #seraph sanyi #afw #a familiar world #character description sheet #hello yes i meant to have this done a good hot minute ago #but only finished with it today #sldkfjksfdkhgjh #gg self XD #at least i finished it yo!!!#im hoping to have one for her bf done soonish ;w;#but we'll see sldkfjdsk #the goal is to get one done for everyone #in the meantime; enjoy the info about seraph!!!#mayhaps y'all will find out smth u didn't know :3 #arty writes #sorta

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paperish-main · 6 years

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Sarah J Maas Transcript (1/3)

Finished this last night and posting it before I go to a fair!

This is a transcript for the parts I recorder of the Manchester Sarah J Maas event. The video just isn’t working with me, so here. The visuals weren’t good anyways xD. I didn’t record from the start, heads-up. Also, I wouldn’t super-analyse every word she says because, again, she was talking on stage and that won’t translate smoothly to a write up. There were a lot of ‘uh’s and ‘like’s that I cut out and a lot more laughing.

UPDATE: Next one has been posted!

SJM: I’ve said before, so I can say it now: the wall scene… is in this book [laughs as audience screams]. I had a lot of fun writing writng that – um, if you don’t know what I’m talking about –

Charlie Bowater: Where have you been?

SJM: (laughs) I hope for the parents that have no idea what I’m talking about… you don’t wanna know. [audience laughter]. A Court of Frost and Starlight – ACOFAS, or ACOfaus as you Brits would say – that’s coming out in May.

Talking about the planning of things – with these novellas, I always wanted them to be something you had to read before the last Throne of Glass book. So I knew some big, big things that would go on in this, but then when I wrote it there were actually some surprises – and again, no spoilers – that I didn’t see coming, and they were actually things that I had planted the seeds for earlier in the books. Then I got to this moment and I had this idea and I literally looked back – combed through the books – and I was like, holy. Effing. Shit.

[audience laughter]

And it sounds kind of insane – like, I’m the writer, I’m in control of this world but then my subconcious does plant things and does it throughout the books… only it will take me five books to realise what my mind has been telling me I’m going on this whole time. And I live for moments like that, when it literally feels like magic. So this book was a combination of very intense planning and then “Surprise!” things that blew my mind.

I know it sounds so weird, because it should all be up here, but when it aligns it’s a bit like a solar eclipse. [She laughs with the audience] I’m so cheesy, I know.

Interviewer: So you briefly mentioned ACOTAR before and, of course, A Court of Wings and Ruin was out this year. What was it like to wrap up – well, not completely wrap up – that arc of Feyre and Rhy’s story?

Sarah J Maas: I mean, I knew… I knew there were going to be these spin-off books coming out and I didn’t have to say goobye, and those spin-off books were actually because before I started writing ACOWAR, I got really bummed out that the series would end after three books –

Interviewer: We were all, too.

Sarah J Maas: (laughs) I was literally like, this isn’t enough time with the Inner Circle – especially the Illyrian warriors and their wingspans. [audience cheers]. Can I tell you guys this random story? On my US tour for Tower of Dawn, this girl came up during the signing and she was about fourteen years old and she was wearing this t-shirt that said “it’s all about the winspan”. [audience laughs] I was like, oh my god, your shirt is amazing.

And she went, let me show you the back … and she turned around and it had a pair of wings with a ruler [gasps mixed with laughter] underneath. I was like, does your mother know what you’re wearing? And she was like, (smug voice) no. I went, you’re my hero. I want to be your friend.

[more laughter]

So, I was bummed that this world and this series were ending and just for fun I began writing what happens after ACOWAR… and I would up writing about two-hundred and fifty pages of about what will be the first full spin-off book, which I cannot tell you yet what it will be about. When you read ACOFAS in spring, you’ll know what it’ll be about for sure.

And then I wrote probably the first half of ACOFAS which mostly just started off as a bunch of smut scenes [laughter] just for fun –

Charlie Bowater: Just for warm up.

Sarah J Maas: Just to warm up, get my heart pumpin’ a bit (laughs). And then I really started to look ahead to what happens to these characters after ACOWAR and I realised that I wanted to really, really write those stories. These characters had more to do and to say and to grow. And it actually helped me write ACOWAR, because I was able to plant seeds in ACOWAR for all the fun stuff that’s coming in these spin-off books.

So in some ways, it was still very emotional for me to write ACOWAR – it’s very emotional for me to write every book, really. I definitely sobbed when I wrote the last scene between Feyre and Rhys, but I also knew like, the gang is coming back!

Like, ask me this question when I write the last book of that series but – will I ever close the door? To any of these worlds? I don’t think so. I don’t know. I have separation anxiety, you guys [laughter]

Interviewer: That’s a good sign! So Charlie, you contributed a lot to the ACOTAR colouring book and the Throne of Glass colouring book, as well as your incredible drawings of the Inner Circle, which hopefully some of you guys have seen. What is like kind of drawing from those characters and – do you visualise what they look like in your head or do you just sort of follow your pencil?

Charlie Bowater: (started to raise her miscrophone before the interviewer was finished) I just have to say, I can’t take credit for the throne of glass colouring book because I didn’t do anything there.

Interviewer: Oh, sorry!

SJM: You were their in spirit.

CB: It was a very interesting process because, obviously, I’ve read the books inside-out, back-to-front, multiple times. And so, clearly I’ve got this strong image in my head of how I picture it and it was just like this really nice, collaborative process where I got to work with Sarah and Bloomsbury. They kind of put forward the scenes that they wanted included in the colouring book, and it was kind of up to me how I sketched it – how I imagined it, how I pictured the scene – and that was really collaborative and not like, this is the scene. Draw it.

I think I was originally supposed to draw eight scenes for the book, and end up drawing… I think it was 19? [audience laughs] I think, by the end. So it just kept going and going and going and going… and I will always remember the day that I found out – or rather, the day that I was asked if I wanted to work on the colouring book.

I was in a club in London – which doesn’t happen very often, by the way, I’m usually at home reading [laughter] – and I read the email and I literally just had to scream in this toilet cubicle just because I was so psyched about working on the book. And just in general, these books and Sarah have… changed my life. It was amazing to work on it.

Interviewer: You guys are the dream team. It must be said.

SJM: You were so – like, easy to work with on the coloruing book? All the other artists were great, but Charlie was… I feel like I never had of send you any real notes. Not to bad-mouth any of the other artists because they’re very, very talented but, like I don’t think some were… (struggles) fans of the… books? Just they way that, like –

CB: I think that’s the biggest difference between me working on this work for different books and series and like all this stuff, but there’s this special kind of magic when you get to do it for a series you love and you already know and you’ve got those feelings to work with, rather than doing it from a blanck slate. It’s like, you’ve got the passion for it already.

SJM: You were like – you were like a dream. Like, one of the artists was actually pretty sick. She fell pretty ill at one point and literally couldn’t get to some of the drawings, and like, we asked Charlie, is it too many drawings at this point? And she just, knocked it out of the park.

And there were some drawing where the other illustrators, again, very talented, but they didn’t like… get it? They didn’t quite get the placement of the characters and the emotion in the scene.

One of them was like, the cauldron scene – Nesta coming out of the cauldron – and like, I can’t tell you how many drafts we went through with one of the artists on that scene and I was like no, no, no – not to sound like a diva. I was pretty involved in the process where, from the very start, I worked with bloomsbury to select all the scenes and we sent the artist who was in each scene and what each scene should include, and they would send us the sketches, and we would give feedback.

I had phone calls with my editor every day about the sketches. The poor UPS man came to my house, like, non-stop delivering new batches of artwork. It was like this really, really intense process but with this one scene this artist just didn’t get it – didn’t get what was going on, the body positioning. Then we sent it over to Charlie and like, one sketch. Done.

[laughter] It was like a mic drop, holy shit. You just… get it.

CB: Thank you.

Sarah J Maas: Like, your artwork is just… so amazing. My phone back screen is one of the earliest pieces of Feyre-Rhys fan art that you ever did with them. She’s in the dress that she… wears on the ACOWAR cover. I don’t know if you guys know this, but the dress on the cover of ACOWAR – Charlie designed that dress.

When we made the cover for ACOWAR, they were like what dress should we put her in? And I was like, there was only one dress. [laughter] There’s only one dress that Charlie designed.

CB: That meant a lot to me.

Sarah J Maas: And we’re still grateful that you allowed us to use your concept. And I’m just, like (laughs) the biggest fangirl. You did this modern Sailor Moon piece – it was like – I loved it.

CB: (points to herself) Love Sailor Moon!

That’s Part One out of Two for the first big video. After this she talks about her Grandmother’s pretty inspirational story about growing up and WW2 as a Jew, which I’ll probably write up. Then, she goes back to talking about the books. Those videos are short enough to post, so I’ll do it now.

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frozenfallenuniverse · 6 years

Text

Cracks in the Wall

Its ya boy, tired child looking for job. Its been a while since I posted a story but Lavi won the last poll (landslide even). Next story will be about the first time samger and Meiyo meet but I hope you enjoy this one!

Most planeswalkers would have servants, assistants or little creatures to help them with work. Not me, the most overworked walker that I know off. Now, I could spawn a large amount of spotters to try to help but without any form of appendages to write with or mouths to speak with, they wouldn’t get far. You would think I’d have some sort of plan for this but it seems as though my forward thinking is complete and utter-

“Lavi? I can never tell if you can hear me on this. The job is done. What’s next?” The voice came through one of the many spotters that floated about my room like palm-sized dust mites. Based on both the feminine, almost siren like, voice and the spotter’s form being extremely similar to a goldfish, it seemed to be Nozari. Thank god. I sat at my desk and the fish spotter floated atop the desk to eye level. It bounded in front of my face as I rested it inside of my hands.

“Well, step one is getting off the plane but if you’ve already done that, I’ll send you a bit of money within a few days. Your next job is finding a certain planeswalker. His title is the Immortal and he was last spotted on Tarkir. Quite tall, probably missing some skin at this point, hard to miss.”

“Tarkir? Can’t say I’ve heard of that…”

“Wonderful. It's a terrible plane. Tons of dragons, lots of fire, lightning, poison and many things that don’t like merfolk or would assume you are an overgrown bass that has learned to walk on two feet.”

“Why am I being sent there exactly?”A sigh followed her question and her voice was full of disdainful annoyance. Not that out of the ordinary for her to be entirely honest.

“I can send Alexander if you prefer.” She made a gagging sound, presumably nodded and signed off. Not a second too soon, if you ask me. Her and Alexander were some of my assistants. Well, I say assistants but they are more like mercenaries. I pay them coin, they find concerning planeswalkers and deal with them. Nozari is non-lethal and Alexander is… Alexander. Now I can hopefully make some headway on these papers-

“Lavi~ Guess who’s here to do some fun stuff today!” A masculine yet flamboyant voice that sounded like wet paint being thrown across a canvas came from the main hall. Another spotter, this one with the same colors as bird who live in paradise, came close and it seemed to be one of my least favorite generals. I tossed on robes that seemed ill-suited to the current heat and stepped out of my mess of a study.

The window blinds were half-closed, letting fragments of the sunrise come through. Songbird calls mixed with footsteps filled the wide hallway as I trotted to the main hall. The man, who has already decided to redecorate one of the walls of the room, was wearing fluorescent clothing, that had the closest description as a rainbow that vomited on a tailor’s workshop, and hair the color of dying fall leaves. The painting, if you could really call his art style ‘painting’, was a horrendous rendition of two merfolk and a high-class woman messing about in his latest experiment. The closest thing to a greeting that we exchanged was a half-nod and a sigh from myself.

“To what do I owe the pleasure today, Rotek?” I only just realized that I sounded like a sick frog that cannibalized a smaller one. Hopefully, he doesn’t mind if a spotter ran about to fetch a glass of water for me. Without even turning to face me, he spoke like I was an audience of twenty.

“The experiment went wonderfully! There were no major deaths. Three walkers came in and they all left. Two seemed quite normal and the third seemed a bit…” He dabbed his brush on the regal looking doodle, that was partially on my artwork. My new artwork. It cost close to three weeks of work. Wonderful. The sound of shattering glass from the direction of where I sent the spotter made this conversation all the better. My hand was reaching for the bridge of my nose as I spoke.

“Did you get names or are you here to showboat?” I could feel my eyes rolling into the back of my skull as I spoke. Rotek might be useful for his knowledge and magic but his… artistic freedoms made things like diplomacy, discussions and basic talking like pulling teeth. He spun on his heels, tossing a letter from his breast pocket at my flailing arms. Barely caught it as well. Why do people throw so many things at me. They know I can’t catch.

“I know your whole deal is peace and the prevention of disasters so think of this as an invitation to my next art piece.” His voice was much more somber now, almost sad to speak of the thing that gave him the most passion. I tore open the note and flipped it out, skimming across it. In large bolded letters, it said ‘The Destruction of Ravnica. Performed by an elder dragon. Watch as I paint the final moments of the most populated plane of the multiverse.’ Several of the spotters floated around the note, desperate to get so much as a glance at it. With a soft breath, the note became blank and wasted away in my grasp.

“You’re helping someone destroy a plane!” I spoke with the anger of a dragon that was woken by a farmer after sleeping for millennia. The heat on my face most likely made me look like a tomato, or a pyromancer. Same thing really.

“Capitalising on what will happen, really. I can’t stop it nor can any of the others. I’d suggest you get your friends to help evacuate or, more likely, work with some of the walkers there. No reason for that many sparks to be extinguished.” He had no enjoyment in his voice. His brush was thrown to the floor, spilling paint across the tiles. His artwork was melting off as well. I need to control my temper better.

“Fine. Keep this a secret from the other generals then. No reason to get Ice or Shadow excited about a plane dying.” My hand was glued to my nose bridge and a thumping sensation was deepening in my temples. Rotek patted me on the shoulder and disappeared with a rainbow light following his exit. My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is now ruined, suffice to say.

The normal rhythm I kept with my steps become erratic and the space around me shifted, warped and fragments came out of focus. I heard stories that something like this would happen but I was hoping, no, praying they were just rumors. What used to be a wall became a time-worn veranda with ivy growths burgeoning beneath the posts. Several spotters floated towards me with concerned visages. The goldfish led the pack and I dragged it by the tail to my desk. A haze came over the eye that took up most of its body and I decided to speak first.

“Nozari, forget the other mission. Find Alexander. I need to talk to you both.” My words were rushed. Something was welling up in my throat and a sickness flooded my stomach. The floater I sent, what felt like years ago, returned with a bottle of sparkling cherry juice. It took hardly any seconds to drink several fingers worth.

“What? What about the immortal? I’m not gonna abandon this mission!”

“The Immortal can wait. It's not like he’ll die anytime soon!” Some papers became dotted with droplets from the neck of the bottle. I cursed under my breath. That’s even more things to fix.

“Shouldn’t I just come there? Why can’t you say it now? I have plans later you know! I finally found a cute dress that fit!” She did mention something about a cute girl earlier. Explains why she’s been more relaxed recently. Or anxious. I think both is the answer. She’s a bit more of a mess than me.

“You bring yourself and Alexander here after your plans then. I won’t force you to do your job but keep in mind: you swore to help me protect planes and right now, I think your possible lover would understand a canceling.” The strangest thing about Nozari’s knowledge of languages was that she could be annoyed in all of them and curse like a sailor in most of them. They all sound beautiful as well. Perhaps merfolk have- Introspection into the different races of the multiverse can wait after the problem is fixed.

“Fine! I’ll be there tomorrow with the problem child! You owe me something other than money for canceling this date though!”

“Would a pearl necklace suffice? An associate got fresh batch of chocolate ones during a trip to Ixalan.”

“Oh dear Kosi. Its that bad?”

“Horrendous is a better term in my opinion.” The faked joyfulness I spoke with seemed like a different flavor of sarcasm and she noticed.

“Any idea where he is?” My silence was more than enough of an answer. With a groan, she hung up. Well, hung up is the wrong word. She smacked the spotter on her end which ended its transmission. They are small but quite durable. I think that’s her favorite way to end our little talks. Fifty times ended in that way now. Anyway.

My hands were already massaging my skull. The droning in the back of my mind was a voracious woodpecker that just ended a fast. A growling came from the sick that slept in my stomach. This is the worst day of my life. And I almost died! To be fair, who hasn’t really. Planeswalkers are strange. The drink helped to an extent so, I couldn’t blame the situation on a lack of caffeine or sugar. Sleep was always an excuse but I don’t wish to sound like a broken record. I need food. A distraction. Something.

Knocking came from the door. A rarity would be an understatement. Something that no one has ever done before would be more fitting. I creaked open the door, whose rusted screeching made the throbbing of my skull even worse, and saw the chubby, blonde hair-framed face of Lisbeth greeting me.

“You alright, hun? Rotek said to leave you alone but you’re a bit looking pale.” Her smile was the only warm part about her. Her clothing and personality were normally cold but around me and some of the other generals, she acted like a concerned mother. Why did Rotek even talk to her? I thought fire and ice don’t mix. I fake coughed a bit to make it seem I was stable.

“Everything is fine. If you bought anything, leave it at the door. I’m busy.” I said with clear irritation in my voice. It seems the frog in my throat became an annoyed toad at this point. She chuckled a bit and dropped a basket of what smelled like mouth watering baked bread. She said something along the lines of ‘call me when you’re better’ but the migraine become worse from the scent of the bread. Why does she always bring me food?

It did not take long for me to drag the basket into my room and for me to greedily devour every baked snack she provided. My stomach seemed to be resting but the migraine and anxiety continued to fester. The walls around me slowly began to dissipate, turning into white gold light before me. I finally got off my floor, tightened some heavy duty boots on and began walking to the door. If a plane was to be destroyed, I wanted to learn all I could about it before then. Perhaps. I’ll even find a distraction while I’m there.

#lavi #mtg #fanwalker #nozari #rotek #lisbeth #alexander #my writing #stories #this one took a while #next one I might do a poll for word count #i'm trying to work closer to 2k now

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theday · 6 years

Text

mx in sg: the experience

FHJGDGHSHGFGGHD as usual starting off with the keyboard smash anyway! ill be talking about my experience seeing mx live yesterday (3/3) second part is abt when mx were on stage but its quite dry bc i dont remember much

ill be going in chronological order so [jooheon voice] lets get it

i was gonna meet my friend (karissa) at 3:30 because we were going to meet the person selling us our tickets at 4pm but that got delayed until like 5pm which was fine though

anyway i met her and we started queueing because although official queuing was supposed to start at 6pm they pushed it forward to 3pm (which was unfortunate for those who were busy and couldnt come until much later - the organizer never released an official statement saying the queuing started earlier)

so as soon as karissa and i arrived at like. the place (near the venue) we got lost for about a whole 5 minutes lmao so i texted james asking him where the hell . they were and we made it and joined the queue immediately (we were the last few people of the second batch)

we just sat there and. collected freebies and our banners (for the fan events) while we waited for the seller to come give us our tickets

when they came i was like . fucking screaming because one of the seller was someone i knew from primary school (4 years ago) and i was likeudghdgghdhsh??????? that was the highlight of the daydhfhs

after we bought the tickets and shit we were slightly concerned they wouldnt work lmao but they did god bless

while we waited for the doors to open and stuff a group of people did dance covers of mx songs and later other groups too everyone was cheering for them which was nice fgfghdgh

the hype died down and we just waited quietly until it hit 6pm and i started listening to the day6 stream LMAO but after 4 songs i had to stop because suddenly everyone was standing up??

for nothing though because we sat down like 30 minutes later at around 7? 7:30? everyone stood up again and this time people were given wrist tag things u kno.. ya there were three (?) kinds i think gold for those who held a superfan ticket, pink for general admission and some other colour for those who got tickets for free and could sit on chairs dhdghs

it was a free standing event in an outdoor space so superfan ticket holders got to stand closer to the stage? and those with general admission had to stand behind us and it was separated by a barricade

we entered at like 8pm because we were the second batch (there was a third batch behind us) and it was already filled?? not exactly but from where we were standing we couldn’t really see the stage

in the end we were in the middle which wasnt exactly the best but its definitely better than those standing all the way at the back rip

i think at like 7:45 they started playing the music videos and everyone was shouting the lyrics it was cute i loved it but my throat told me to die after i yelled for like all of their mvsjhdgdghd

also when all in played u bet my ass i jumped up and downdhg

also water wasnt allowed inside which i think is normal so i chugged mine down as fast as i could before entering (i had a little left and the lady let me in with it thanks queen) (i drank it all before they even came on stage)

the hype was real though and it was great

when it hit 8:30pm the introduction video started and suddenly i was getting pushed forward and wow . dont go if ur not a fan of people invading your personal bubble. i wish fans had more sense to Not push around and stuff but what can we do rip

other than that when they came out oh gOD when they came out i was likebfhgddgs??!?!??!?! i had to stand on my tip toes to see them

they started with beautiful and i was liek. dissociating i jsut sang along and shit it was amazing??????

the first person i saw was kihyun and then minhyuk?? i dont remember who else i saw but iw ss losing my fucking mind over how good everyone looked

anyway after that was um.............. fuck. .... i dont know..........

IFMFHGHSGF IM CRYING MY BRAIN TOLD ME TO DIE

white love maybe? i think they did like an introduction of themselves ??

anyway ill figure the songs out later they started playing games i think or was that another time im bad at this clearly

ask james for the details of the songs i dont remember shit from that i just remember singing along to the songs badly and moving my arm back and forthhfgsgh

also team work makes the dream work because karissa was recording and i helped her to zoom in and ensure they looked human with the brightness and stuff fhjdgsgh

but !! everyone did the fanchants really well it was so heartworming

also during white love they made us do that one part u know the one and it was awesome!!!!! during white sugar they threw m&m’s and i got to get a good look at their faces without having to look at the screen!!

honestly was good too god im so happie

hm. they did a mon-story time and showed us pics from previous eras (trespass > i dnt remmeber fuck > beautiful world tour > mxray > first win) ?? might be wrong dghdgs and they talked about stuff that happened i blanked out though so i dont know what they said

also when they flashed the first win part they started throwing hands @ each other usual mx shit dhjgsgd

we chanted monsta x and they chanted monbebe back at us :-( i love them

i think changkyun said he doesnt wnat to do another season of mxray LMAODHFGHHGS fucking loser

the translator made me laugh he was super monotone fhgdghfsh

then they played mon-ccaso dghghfsh and drew what they wanted to eat with singaporean mbb!!

there was a bug in front of wonho and he got !!!! fhdgh cute .

shownu: ????? what was it ?? a drink it looked like a cocktail and kihyun was like “non alcoholic” dghffsgs

wonho: ice cream!!! hes so cute his drawing was so cute also he wrote monbebe before they announced the game his handwriting is so pretty tf

minhyuk: ramyeon lmao (in his words: traditional korean noodles)

kihyun: uh oH HE DREW A CRABFGHGSHS and said chili and pepper crab!!!

hyungwon: he drew a shrimpfhggdgs fucking . it was so cute

jooheon: mandu!! or dumplings :D

changkyun: water. JHDHGDGSG KING HONESTLY IW AS LIKE JUMPING UP AND DOWN IN EXCITEMENT!! love me a water stan

anyway they talked about what they drew and when it came to minhyuk’s turn he was like guess and everyone just shit on him DHJDHSHG

some examples: “hair” Gghdhg and some fans (including me) screamed cucumberhjfghgs let this man live

minhyuk also tried to make fun of jooheons drawing but it failed bc none of us understood his joke

so they made us vote by screaming and they each stood up while holding their sketchbooks and we’d scream

winner was changkyun (i yelled my heart out and jumped bitch)

FHGSGG W INNER HAD TO DO AEGYO THOUGHDG played urself

they did oppaya and i think there are fancams somewhere

then they made wonho do it hhdggs best 1 minute of my life

after that was uhh??????? brain machine broke i dont know im not even going in order anymore

they either did from zero first or the fan videos were shown first

if so the fan videos were of fans talking about how much they love/appreciate mx and it was sweet after that we raised our banners for the fan vid

and then the CAKE came for wonho and we sang happy birthday to wonho (kihyun asked us to sing once too at the start hjdghgsg we did that in english this time it was in korean)

also funny hfgdhgs thing... they talked in korean and a lot of people replied in korean so they got shockedhfgh FUCJ DAY6 ok safe im listening now

i think they (minhyuk?) asked who thought/if he was handsome and got rly happie when we said yea

after him someone asked too LOLJHDGSG

back 2 whatever fdsh um oh yeah the cake was done to look like ramyeon in a pot :D ill add a link

wonho cut himself with the knife D-: babie

he kept wanting to eat it though so hopefully he liked it

maybe after that they did from zero???? ufhffghsgghdg idk

after that was hero!!!!!!! god we were all so pumped

shine forever next

and then they stopped to take a break i thinkfhgshgd

at some point they asked fans (a jooheon stan and a wonho one) what songs they liked :-D the jooheon one said beautiful and the other said ill be there if im not wrong

they also made the rappers sing bits from some songs hfgsg i dont remember which songs tho hdhs

changkyun tried his besthjdg

they did their ending ment and went to dramarama!!

after that it was silent for like 5 minutes max as we chanted mx and for encore

they came out and did ill be there (?) (first verse to chorus) and talked again before doing 5:14!

they were dressed in casual tshirts which was a relief hjghgdh because it was reallly fuckng hot hdh changkyun mentioned the weather too sorry dude thats life

they waved at fans and played amongst themselves kihyun dumped water on jooheon LMAO i got a clear view of that

stay hydrated !

they just kept dumping water on each other i love a family :-D

and then they said bye and left

jooheon kept going byEE though dhgdhs hes so cute :-(

ok heres what i thought abt the monstas themselves

kihyun looked especially good with that tie by the way

jesus i got to see wonho with dark hair i truly. died

ALSO SHOWNU LOOKS SO HANDSOME IRL!!!! MY WIG WAS SNATCHED!!!!!!!!!!!

hyungwon was rly cute too when he interacted with the fans :-(

there was one time wonho smiled and it was caught on the screen i . felt my heart burst in that moment

alsowwhen minhyuk took center position for their choreos he has this ?? charisma ??? its amazong like the one smirk/grin he does u know that? yeah i saw it in beautoful and died

joohoen and changkyun also did their best hyping mbbs up by yelling to sing along and stuff ihdjgf i love them

this is just mx loving hours

also kihyun did the DHDHHSH EYE SMILE!!! HE DID IT SO MANY TIMES HE WAS SO HAPPIE I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!

i didnt get to see jooheon much but he was so playful with minhyuk it was so cute!!!!!!!

they all look so good and sound even better live!!! kihyuns adlibs god help me.

i love them so much. i really do fhhdghghs im happy i went no more regrets and no more telling myself i didnt have a blast because i!!!! i loved every second of it even when i got someones hair stuck to my arm LMAO

after it ended we immediately left for the exit andggdghs WOW standing up i was fine but moving?? moving was HELL my legs hurt so bad

ok so we got home and thats that but like.... heres where my self reflection comes in

so you dont have to read this part

i think. the reason i dont remember much is because.. i dont want to? like. at some point i got a clear view of wonho in the Flesh and i was thinkng about how i was really seeing them? for real????? and i got. really sad i think??

so to prevent myself from getting sad i probably tried to forget? everything?? theres also my bad memory of course but i cant even remember their faces i feel like its because im trying to forget or some deep shit

anyway i think im also makig myself not be happy??? this is phrased v bad but its like im trying to kill the fun and only think abt the negatives of the whole event

which wasnt even much so its like. my minds blankfhjfhd

talking about it here helps though like i get to. share and actually talk about what happened so yeah i can say that i had fun even though i couldnt see them i had a blast singing along it was awesome

the only bad part was how i didnt like watching from the screens because it felt like i wasnt seeing them live?? ooMGHDDS DAY6 ARE DOING BETTTER BTTER

tldr; im not that upset over it now thank god and i can proudly say i had fun and although i cant remember much it was a great experience

thank you for coming to my tedtalk if you did <3

#180303 #moon texts #NOW #i can reblog pics #sorry i dont have any vidoes/pics i mean i do but theyre potato quality ill see if i can post some when karissa sends them

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techcrunchappcom · 3 years

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New Post has been published on https://techcrunchapp.com/covid-19-live-news-and-updates/

Covid-19 Live News and Updates

Here’s what you need to know:

Positive coronavirus samples being sequenced at Duke University in Durham, N.C., this month to determine which variants are circulating in the community.Credit…Pete Kiehart for The New York Times

Vaccinations are picking up pace. The spread of the coronavirus in the United States has slowed drastically. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is urging K-12 schools to reopen safely and as soon as possible.

But just as states are again lifting mask-wearing mandates and loosening restrictions, experts fear that more contagious variants could undo all that progress.

That threat seems only to grow as researchers learn more. British government scientists now believe the more contagious variant that is ravaging Britain is also “likely” to be deadlier than earlier versions of the virus, according to a document posted on a government website on Friday. An earlier assessment on a smaller scale warned last month that there was a “realistic possibility” the variant was more lethal.

The variant, also known as B.1.1.7, is spreading rapidly in the United States, doubling roughly every 10 days, another recent study found.

In line with an earlier warning from the C.D.C., the study predicted that by March the variant could become the dominant source of coronavirus infection in the United States, potentially bringing a surge of new cases and increased risk of death.

Vaccine distribution is accelerating — the U.S. is now averaging about 1.66 million doses a day, well above the Biden administration’s target of 1.5 million — but B.1.1.7 has a worrisome mutation that could make it harder to control with vaccines, a Public Health England study found this month.

The variant has spread to at least 82 countries, and is being transmitted 35 percent to 45 percent more easily than other variants in the United States, scientists recently estimated. Most people who catch the virus in Britain these days are being infected by that variant.

The British research on B.1.1.7’s lethality did come with caveats, and the reasons for the variant’s apparently elevated death rate are not entirely clear. Some evidence suggests that people infected with the variant may have higher viral loads, a feature that could not only make the virus more contagious but also potentially undermine the effectiveness of certain treatments.

But government scientists were relying on studies that examined a small proportion of overall deaths. They also struggled to account for the presence of underlying illnesses in people infected with the new variant, and for whether the cases originated in nursing homes.

Bill Hanage, an epidemiologist at Harvard University, said that although “we do need to have a degree of caution” in looking at the findings, “it’s perfectly reasonable to think that this is something serious — I am certainly taking it seriously.”

“It’s pretty clear we have something which is both more transmissible and is more worrying if people become infected,” he said.

Angela Rasmussen, a virologist at Georgetown University, said relaxing restrictions now would be “courting disaster.” She urged Americans to “be extra vigilant” about mask wearing, distancing and avoiding enclosed spaces.

“You don’t want to get any variant,” Dr. Rasmussen said, “but you really don’t want to get B.1.1.7.”

The United States confirmed its first case of the B.1.1.7 variant on Dec. 29. Unlike Britain, it has been conducting little of the genomic sequencing necessary to track the spread of new variants that have caused concern, though the Biden administration has vowed to do more.

On Friday, for the fifth time in six days, the number of new virus cases reported in the United States dipped below 100,000 — far less than the country’s peak of more than 300,000 reported on Jan. 8.

As the number of virus cases and hospitalizations has fallen, the Republican governors of Montana, Iowa, North Dakota and Mississippi have recently ended statewide mask-wearing mandates. In New York, Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo, a Democrat, has allowed indoor dining to resume at 25 percent capacity, though experts have repeatedly warned that maskless activities, such as eating, in enclosed spaces are high-risk.

Although virus case numbers are moving in the right direction, the loosening of restrictions has unnerved experts like Saskia Popescu, an epidemiologist at George Mason University in Virginia.

“Now more than ever, with novel variants, we need to be strategic with these reopening efforts and be slow and not rush things,” she said.

United States › United StatesOn Feb. 13 14-day change New cases 84,717 –37% New deaths 3,373* –16%

*Includes many deaths from unspecified days

World › WorldOn Feb. 13 14-day change New cases 344,554 –28% New deaths 10,713 –16%

U.S. vaccinations ›

Video

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transcript

Lebanon Begins Coronavirus Vaccinations

Lebanon started a nationwide drive to inoculate its citizens against Covid-19 on Sunday, after the country received its first round of 28,500 doses of the Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine.

“It’s a very important day for us, we’ve been waiting for it, this pandemic took a great toll. We’ve had a lot of cases, a lot of fatalities in Lebanon. So we’re really looking forward to the vaccine to hopefully see some light at the end of the tunnel.” Privileged. Excited. Happy that this is happening, that it is happening to Lebanon. A good thing for once. It’s working. And I look forward to everybody being able to get the chance to get it too.”

Lebanon started a nationwide drive to inoculate its citizens against Covid-19 on Sunday, after the country received its first round of 28,500 doses of the Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine.CreditCredit…Bilal Hussein/Associated Press

BEIRUT, Lebanon — Lebanon began vaccinating its citizens against Covid-19 on Sunday, offering a rare glimmer of hope in a country suffering badly from several overlapping crises, just one of which is the pandemic.

The first shot was administered to the director of the intensive care unit at the lead government hospital fighting the pandemic. The second was given to a famous 93-year-old comedian.

The vaccination drive began after Lebanon received its first batch of 28,500 doses of the Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine. Using $34 million in financing from the World Bank, Lebanon is buying enough doses to vaccinate about two million people, roughly one-third of its population. Millions more doses are expected to arrive in the spring and summer through a United Nations program and commercial sources.

Lebanon’s worst coronavirus surge peaked in mid-January, when the country was averaging more than 4,800 newly reported cases a day, according to a New York Times database; the average has since fallen somewhat, to about 2,700 a day. Some 337,000 people in Lebanon — almost 5 percent of the population — are now known to have had the virus, and more than 3,900 have died.

To try to drive the numbers down, the government imposed a very strict lockdown in mid-January, with a 24-hour curfew and widespread shop closures. It eased the restrictions slightly last week, but the curfew largely remains in effect.

The suffering caused by the pandemic has been compounded by a political crisis that has left Lebanon without an effective government for six months, and a financial crisis that has drastically weakened the local currency, making imported medicines, food and other products more expensive.

A huge explosion in the port of Beirut last August also made matters worse, heavily damaging four hospitals, killing 200 people and leaving thousands more wounded.

Video

Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern of New Zealand announced on Sunday that Auckland would go into a three-day lockdown due to three unexplained positive coronavirus test results in a single family.CreditCredit…Gilles Martin-Raget/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images

AUCKLAND, New Zealand — Faced with the creeping threat of more infectious coronavirus variants, Australia and New Zealand have responded to a small number of cases with near-immediate regional lockdowns.

On Sunday night, as couples celebrating Valentine’s Day strolled arm-in-arm through central Auckland, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern of New Zealand announced that the city would begin a three-day lockdown at midnight because of three unexplained positive test results in a single family. The rest of New Zealand would be subject to increased physical distancing requirements over the same period, she said.

New Zealand has had almost no virus-related restrictions since the fall, when it successfully eliminated the virus for a second time. Overall, the country has reported 2,330 coronavirus cases and 25 deaths, far fewer in proportion to its population than most other developed nations.

The Australian state of Victoria has also been placed in a short-term lockdown in response to a small outbreak, which began at a quarantine hotel and has grown to 16 cases. During the lockdown, which began at 11:59 p.m. Friday and is intended to last five days, most of Victoria’s six million people are not allowed to leave home except for limited periods of outdoor exercise or shopping. Professional tennis players who are in Melbourne, the state capital, for the Australian Open are considered “essential workers” and have been allowed to continue playing their matches, albeit without fans in attendance.

Like New Zealand, Australia has had relatively few infections and deaths, and acts aggressively at the first sign of new outbreaks. Similar snap lockdowns in the Australian cities of Perth and Brisbane were successful recently at quashing transmission.

Announcing the Auckland lockdown on Sunday, Ms. Ardern said, “Our view is, you’ll have less regret if you move early and hard than if you leave it and it gets out of control.”

Residents of Good Shepherd nursing home in Wheeling, W.Va., participating in a penny auction last Monday. Credit…Amr Alfiky/The New York Times

WHEELING, W.Va. — After nearly a year in lockdown for the residents of Good Shepherd Nursing Home — eating meals in their rooms, playing bingo through their television sets and isolating themselves almost entirely from the outside world — their coronavirus vaccinations were finished and the hallways were slowly beginning to reawaken.

In a first, tentative glimpse at what the other side of the pandemic might look like, Betty Lou Leech, 97, arrived to the dining room early, a mask on her face, her hair freshly curled.

“I’m too excited to eat,” she said, sitting at her favorite table once again.

It has been a tragic year for nursing homes in America. More than 163,000 residents and employees of long-term care facilities have died from the coronavirus, about one-third of all virus deaths in the United States. Infections have swept through some 31,000 facilities, and nearly all have had to shut down in some way.

For more than a million residents of nursing homes, the lockdowns themselves have been devastating. Cut off from family and largely confined to their rooms, many residents lost weight and saw ailments worsen. Some grew increasingly confused. Others sank into depression and despair.

West Virginia has emerged as one of the first states to finish giving two doses of vaccines to the thousands of people inside its nursing homes, so Good Shepherd, a 192-bed Catholic home in Wheeling, was among the first facilities in the country to begin tiptoeing back toward normalcy last week.

Good Shepherd locked down in March, even before the virus was found in West Virginia. Residents went without visits with loved ones, outings to the movies, even fresh air. Twice, the nursing home tried loosening restrictions, only to lock down again.

An outbreak in November claimed the lives of five residents.Fifteen others got sick during the outbreak, including Ms. Leech. After recovering in the nursing home’s Covid-19 ward, she was feeling better, she said, and eager to return to some version of normal life.

But even with the vaccinations completed, everything has not gone back to normal. Residents are allowed to socialize together again, but they are also asked to continue wearing masks. They sit several feet apart. And most relatives and friends still cannot come to visit.

The continuing precautions offer insights into the complications of reopening, far beyond nursing homes. About 20 percent of people at Good Shepherd — mostly staff members and a few residents — declined to be vaccinated, reflecting a hesitance that has emerged across the country. Cases in the surrounding county remain high. More research is needed to understand whether vaccinated people might still be able to transmit the virus.

People getting vaccinated this month at Castle Hill Community Center in New York. About 10 percent of people in the state have received their first dose.Credit…James Estrin/The New York Times

New Yorkers with chronic health conditions that made them newly eligible for the Covid-19 vaccine flooded a state website and call center Sunday morning, leaving many unable to immediately schedule appointments at mass vaccination centers.

State officials said on Sunday that 73,000 appointments had been scheduled as of 11:30 a.m., while 500,000 people went through an online eligibility screening tool needed to make appointments. Thousands were in virtual waiting rooms that can hold up to 8,000 people per vaccination site. Once those waiting rooms are full, people attempting to schedule appointments are told to try again later.

Richard Azzopardi, a senior adviser to Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo, said demand was high, but “our infrastructure has remained up and intact.” He said that the state’s ability to make appointments depended on the vaccine supply, which is steadily increasing.

Officials said the new criteria, which include chronic health conditions like obesity and hypertension, made four million more New Yorkers eligible for the Covid-19 vaccine. They join a growing number of people in the state who are eligible for the vaccine despite a shortage in supply.

Those who are now eligible include adults who have certain health conditions that may increase their risk of severe illness or death from the coronavirus. Aside from obesity and hypertension, other conditions that would qualify New Yorkers for the vaccine include pulmonary diseases and cancer, Mr. Cuomo announced this month. He also made pregnancy a qualifying condition.

Appointments for people who are in this group can be scheduled for as early as Monday, though most people will probably face a long wait because vaccine doses are scarce now. New Yorkers must provide proof of their condition with a doctor’s note, signed certification or medical documentation, Mr. Cuomo said.

“While this is a great step forward in ensuring the most vulnerable among us have access to this lifesaving vaccine, it’s no secret that any time you’re dealing with a resource this scarce, there are going to be attempts to commit fraud and game the systems,” Mr. Cuomo said in a statement.

In New York State, about 10 percent of the population has received its first dose, according to data gathered by The New York Times. With the new criteria, about 11 million people are now eligible in the state, including people ages 65 and older, health care workers and teachers.

New York City recently opened mass vaccination sites at Yankee Stadium in the Bronx and Citi Field in Queens to better reach communities hit hard by the virus. The state and federal government also announced last week that the Federal Emergency Management Agency would open vaccination sites at Medgar Evers College in Brooklyn and York College in Queens.

To check on eligibility and schedule an appointment, New Yorkers can complete a prescreening on the state’s website. They can also call the state’s vaccination hotline at 1-833-NYS-4VAX (1-833-697-4829) for more information about vaccine appointments.

Tevon James, 5, getting his temperature checked in December before heading into his kindergarten class at P.S. 316 Elijah G. Stroud Elementary School in the Crown Heights section of Brooklyn, N.Y.Credit…Anna Watts for The New York Times

For Julie Zuckerman, an elementary school principal in Manhattan, the summer felt like one never-ending day filled with fear and confusion about New York City’s plan to resume in-person teaching. But in the months since classrooms opened in September, something has shifted.

Teachers at the school, Public School 513 in Washington Heights, appear more at ease, and some say they would like to be in their classrooms even when the building closes because of coronavirus cases. Parents, too, seem more confident: About half of the students are in the building most days, up from less than one-third in September.

Ms. Zuckerman expects that even more children will return this spring.

“People have made their peace; they’re not in crisis in the same way,” she said. “I feel there’s a huge night-and-day difference between what was going on last spring and what’s happened this year.”

New York’s push to reopen classrooms in the fall — it was the first big school district in the country to do so — was a risky, high-stakes experiment. The city has had its share of miscommunication, logistical stumbles and disruptions — especially when classrooms and school buildings have closed frequently because of virus cases.

The city requires a school to shutter for up to 10 days if two unrelated positive cases are confirmed there. Individual classrooms close when one or more positive cases are detected.

The number of closures has risen considerably over the past few weeks, as test positivity rates across the city have remained high and weekly in-school testing has increased. New Yorkers have struggled to cope with the frequent interruptions to learning — and to parents’ schedules.

Even so, parents, teachers, principals and union leaders are finding reasons for optimism at the midpoint of the academic year. In-school virus transmission has been very low, and there is broad agreement that children have benefited from being in classrooms.

“Having the kids here is so much better for them, for everyone,” Ms. Zuckerman said.

The strength of the plan will be tested again when about 62,000 middle school students return to classrooms for the first time since November.

New York offers a preview of what other big city districts in the U.S — most prominently Chicago, where more schools are set to open next month — can expect as they inch closer to reopening classrooms after almost a year of remote learning.

Philaé Lachaux at her mother’s home in Viroflay, France.Credit…Dmitry Kostyukov for The New York Times

Philaé Lachaux, a 22-year-old business student in France, dreamed of striking out on her own in the live music industry. But the pandemic led to the loss of her part-time job as a waitress, and sent her back to live at her family home.

Now, struggling to envision a future after months of restrictions, Ms. Lachaux says that loneliness and despair seep in at night. “I look at the ceiling, I feel a lump in my throat,” she said. “I’ve never had so many suicidal thoughts.”

With curfews, closures and lockdowns in Europe set to drag into the spring or even the summer, mental health professionals are growing increasingly alarmed about the deteriorating mental state of young people.

Last in line for vaccines and with schools and universities shuttered, young adults have borne many of the sacrifices made largely to protect older people, who are more at risk from severe infections.

Across the world, the young have lost economic opportunities, missed traditional milestones and forfeited relationships at a pivotal time for forming identity.

“Many feel they’re paying the price not of the pandemic, but of the measures taken against the pandemic,” said Dr. Nicolas Franck, the head of a psychiatric network in Lyon, France. In a survey of 30,000 people that he conducted last spring, young people ranked the lowest in psychological well-being, he said.

In Italy and in the Netherlands, some youth psychiatric wards have filled to record capacity. In France, professionals have urged the authorities to consider reopening schools to fight loneliness. And in Britain, some therapists said that they had counseled patients to break lockdown guidelines to cope.

In the United States, a quarter of 18- to 24-year-olds said they had seriously considered suicide, one report said. In Latin America and the Caribbean, a survey conducted by UNICEF of 8,000 young people found that more than a quarter had experienced anxiety and 15 percent depression.

“We are in the midst of a mental health pandemic, and I don’t think it’s treated with near enough respect,” said Arkadius Kyllendahl, a psychotherapist in London who has seen the number of younger clients double in recent months.

If you are having thoughts of suicide, the following organizations can help.

In Britain, call Papyrus at +44 800 068 4141 (9am to midnight), or message Young Minds: text YM to 85258. You can also find a list of additional resources on Mind.org.

In France, call SOS Amitié at +33 9 72 39 40 50 (24/7) or Fil Santé Jeunes at +33 800 235 236 (9am to 11pm). Ameli has a list of additional resources.

In Italy, call Telefono Amico at +39 2 2327 2327 (10 am to midnight) or Telefono Azzurro at +39 19696 (a webchat is also available).

A plane carrying doses of the Pfizer coronavirus vaccine from Belgium arrived at Narita airport, near Tokyo, on Friday.Credit…Kyodo, via Reuters

TOKYO — Japan issued its first approval for a vaccine against the coronavirus on Sunday, saying that it would use the Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine to begin inoculating frontline health care workers this week.

Japan has been slower than the United States and Europe to authorize any coronavirus vaccines, but it has also had the luxury of time. Public health measures have successfully kept infection rates low, and the country of 126 million people has recorded fewer than 7,000 deaths since the pandemic began.

Nevertheless, the start of vaccinations is an important development for Japan. As the number of daily new infections reached a peak of nearly 8,000 in early January, the country declared a state of emergency in Tokyo and other regions that has been extended until March 7 in part because of the appearance of new, more infectious coronavirus variants.

The number of daily new infections has declined drastically since then, with the seven-day average under 2,000, according to a New York Times database.

Officials plan to first vaccinate a select group of health care workers who will then administer the shots to other medical professionals.

The vaccine will be rolled out to the elderly and high-risk populations by late spring, according to plans published by the health ministry. But Japan is unlikely to have its entire population vaccinated before it hosts the Olympic Games this summer, and it has said athletes and other attendees will not be required to be vaccinated beforehand.

Matthew Burris, 9, watches his mother, Erica Jackson get her finger pricked for a COVID-19 antibody test during Shared Harvest Foundation and myCovidMD’s free testing in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. at Southside Church of Christ in Los Angeles last month.Credit…Sarah Reingewirtz/The Orange County Register, via Associated Press

Two officials at the Food and Drug Administration said on Saturday that they had erred by allowing manufacturers to sell Covid-19 antibody tests that had not been proved accurate, flooding the United States with unreliable blood tests early in the pandemic.

The officials, Dr. Jeffrey Shuren and Dr. Timothy Stenzel, said in an essay published in The New England Journal of Medicine that the F.D.A.’s guidance on March 16, 2020, which allowed companies to sell tests without emergency use authorization, “was flawed.”

Within two weeks of that guidance, 37 manufacturers told the F.D.A. that they were introducing the tests in the United States, a number that swelled to 164 by the end of April, the officials said. Many of those tests turned out to be inaccurate, and by May the F.D.A. demanded that companies submit data that proved that their tests were reliable or they could be banned.

As of this month, the officials said, the F.D.A. had issued 15 warning letters regarding the tests, removed references to 225 tests from its website and issued “import alerts” regarding 88 companies, meaning their imported tests will receive additional scrutiny — and could be blocked — at the border.

“Our experience with serology tests underscores the importance of authorizing medical products independently, on the basis of sound science, and not permitting market entry of tests without authorization,” they wrote in the essay, referring to the blood tests. “Knowing what we know now, we would not have permitted serology tests to be marketed without F.D.A. review and authorization, even within the limits we initially imposed.”

Soon after the tests first appeared in the United States, scientists discovered that many were flawed, even as some government officials and employers were saying the tests could be crucial to easing restrictions imposed during the pandemic. One review, which was not peer-reviewed, found that of 14 tests on the market, only three gave consistently reliable results.

Many others gave false positive results, signaling that someone had already been infected with the coronavirus and had a heightened level of protection when that was not the case. Even some of the most effective tests did not detect antibodies in 10 percent of people who actually had them.

The F.D.A.’s website lists the antibody tests that have been given emergency authorization and provides information about the effectiveness of those tests.

In the essay, Dr. Shuren and Dr. Stenzel acknowledged that, although the F.D.A. had been operating with “limited and evolving information” and that other factors led to the prevalence of the faulty tests, the March 16 policy was what had “allowed it to happen.”

Those We’ve Lost

Dr. David Katzenstein was a virologist and researcher at Stanford who focused on AIDS, especially in southern Africa.Credit…TeachAids

This obituary is part of a series about people who have died in the coronavirus pandemic. Read about others here.

Dr. David Katzenstein may have been a dreamer, “with sometimes brilliant and sometimes slightly off-the-wall ideas,” one colleague said recently. But from the beginning, in a biosphere spawning new undetected and unconstrained killers, he was no ivory-tower researcher regarding the world through a microscope.

After medical school, he interned at the University of New Mexico, where his work with Indigenous peoples developed into an abiding commitment to help underserved populations prevent and deal with infectious diseases.

For 35 years, as a virologist and clinician, he not only helped advance the prevention, diagnosis and treatment of H.I.V. and AIDS; he also made those techniques available to middle- and low-income patients in sub-Saharan Africa.

Dr. Katzenstein, who was professor emeritus of infectious diseases and global health at Stanford Medicine in California, died on Jan. 25 in Harare, Zimbabwe. He was 69. The cause was Covid-19, his stepdaughter, Melissa Sanders-Self, said.

“Imbued with a passionate belief in social justice, David Katzenstein had an outsized impact on the fight against H.I.V. in sub-Saharan Africa,” Dr. Lloyd Minor, dean of the Stanford University medical school, said in a statement.

While at the University of California, the International Antiviral Society-USA said, Dr. Katzenstein established a relationship with the medical microbiology department at the University of Zimbabwe’s medical school and became “one of the first U.S.-based H.I.V. researchers to commit to working in this region of the world.”

In 1989, he joined the Stanford faculty as a clinical assistant professor of infectious diseases and was named the associate medical director of Stanford’s AIDS Clinical Trial Unit, which conducted research, including clinical trials, into antiretroviral drugs that extended the lives of people with H.I.V.

He focused on the challenges posed by resistance to antiviral H.I.V. drugs and was among the first researchers to publicize the problem in Africa.

In Zimbabwe, he directed the Biomedical Research and Training Institute in Harare, where he trained clinical researchers and introduced modern diagnostic and monitoring techniques to community health programs.

Genomic sequencing can detect and track virus variants, but the United States is sequencing relatively few coronavirus test samples. Lab technicians at Duke University prepared samples for sequencing earlier this month.Credit…Pete Kiehart for The New York Times

As Americans anxiously watch the spread of coronavirus variants that were first identified in Britain and South Africa, scientists are finding a number of new variants that seem to have originated in the United States — and many of them may pose the same kind of extra-contagious threat.

In a study posted on Sunday, a team of researchers reported seven growing lineages of the coronavirus, spotted in states across the country. All of them have evolved a mutation in the same genetic letter.

“There’s clearly something going on with this mutation,” said Jeremy Kamil, a virologist at Louisiana State University Health Sciences Center and a co-author of the new study.

It’s not clear yet whether this shared mutation makes the variants more contagious, but because it appears in a gene that influences how the virus enters human cells, the scientists are highly suspicious.

“I think there’s a clear signature of an evolutionary benefit,” Dr. Kamil said.

It’s not unusual for different genetic lineages to independently evolve in the same direction. Charles Darwin recognized convergent evolution in animals. Virologists have found that it happens with viruses, too. As the coronavirus branches into new variants, researchers are observing Darwin’s theory of evolution in action every day.

It’s difficult to answer even basic questions about how prevalent the new variants are in the United States because the country sequences genomes from less than 1 percent of coronavirus test samples. The researchers found examples scattered across much of the country, but they can’t tell where they first arose.

It’s also hard to say whether the variants are spreading now because they are more contagious, or for some other reason, like holiday travel or superspreader events.

Scientists say the mutation could plausibly affect how easily the virus gets into human cells. But Jason McLellan, a structural biologist at the University of Texas at Austin who was not involved in the study, cautioned that the way that the coronavirus unleashes its harpoons was still fairly mysterious.

“It’s tough to know what these substitutions are doing,” he said of the mutations. “It really needs to be followed up with some additional experimental data.”

#covid #World

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bluegrowlmon · 6 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Persona 2 Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kurosu Jun/Suou Tatsuya Characters: Suou Tatsuya, Kurosu Jun Summary: Just two guys on a date.

was going to be my gift fic for @ps2nocturne before the pairing changed. So Consider this a bonus gift, two christmas fics for the price of one

story also below the cut

Tatsuya glared at the box that housed his latest attempt at baking as wilted flowers soaked in a vase by the door, ignored the burnt cloying smell that lingered in his apartment even with the open window, and tried to reason out when his plan went wrong.

It’d started well enough. He and Jun hadn’t had chances to go on dates before they left for separate colleges, and their schedules made face to face interactions scarce. With upcoming overlaps in days-off, his boyfriend would be coming over to stay with him awhile, and Tatsuya would make the most of their limited time together. Jun had mentioned almost two years ago that he wanted to go to a French restaurant with him, and it was about time Tatsuya made good on that wish. When he brought it up in one of their daily calls, as well as going to a movie, Jun’s voice perceptibly brightened, and it sent dizzying bubbles of joy through Tatsuya like a happy, non-lethal embolism.

Unfortunately Tatsuya was not made of money. After looking up the average prices of the few French restaurants anywhere near him, he thought of his emaciated wallet, and settled for a nearby café instead. There was French food there, he was pretty sure, so it should hopefully compensate for the lack of an actual French restaurant.

The problems might have started with Tatsuya’s choice of gifts. He wanted to make him éclairs, since he mentioned liking them in passing, and get him flowers, (Which might be odd considering Jun was coming to see him instead of vice versa, but he needed at least one fool-proof element to their evening). Tatsuya had never made them, had never even eaten one, but he could figure it out. It was just baking. If Katsuya could do it, how hard could it be?

Two hours and three scrapped batches later, he was forced to conclude it was indeed fairly difficult.

The things he pulled out of the oven on the fourth attempt were scorched past recognition, but Tatsuya didn’t have time for a fifth. He still had to buy flowers, and his bike was out for repairs.

It definitely went downhill after he left. It was only after he made it to the florist, red faced and out of breath and trying not to sneeze at the cloying scents in the cramped shop, when he put his hand into an empty pocket, did he remember that he left the list of needed flowers at home. Already running late, he picked out flowers on a whim – they looked pretty, so their meanings had to be good, right? Halfway between the florist and home, he had another realization, this one being that he could have just asked the florist for help.

Which left him without food, the right flowers, or a bike to take him anywhere.

A knock at the door dragged him from his ruminations. Tatsuya gathered the flowers and went to open the door, dread unfurling sharp and heavy in his chest.

The sight of Jun in the hallway, smiling at him, small suitcase in hand and rainwater on his hair and jacket, helped though. It helped a lot. Tatsuya pulled Jun into a hug, unmindful of the flowers he held. Jun dropped his suitcase and hugged back, his grip tight and almost imperceptibly shaking “I missed you.” Jun said, the words muffled from where his face pressed into Tatsuya’s shoulder.

Tatsuya wanted nothing more than to just stay in, to hold Jun and listen to him talk until the sound and weight and warmth of him convinced him that he was really there, even if it was only for a few days. But they needed to head out for food if nothing else. He stepped back and gave Jun the flowers.

Jun’s expression morphed from happiness to something tinged with confusion. “Hyacinths?”

Were those wrong? “I was going to get better flowers, but. I panicked.”

It sounded stupid out loud, but Jun didn’t look angry, so maybe their meaning wasn’t bad after all. At the very least they weren’t burned.

As if Jun heard his thoughts, he looked past Tatsuya to plate on the table behind him. “What’s that?”

“Pastries,” Tatsuya answered. “Sort of. Don’t eat them.”

---

Tatsuya first learned of the Spoonbill Café from one of its co-owners when he’d fixed her motorcycle at his part-time job at the repair shop. She was stoic, with a taut jaw and an angry expression only augmented by a faded scar that cut through her brow, but she proved to be patient and overall kind. After a long week and string of impatient, insufferable customers, she was enough of a relief for Tatsuya to start talking with her despite himself. Also, her leather jacket was cool.

Her name was Suzuki, and in addition to owning a very cool bike and jacket, nearby ran a diner with her partner, Aoki. She’d been happy enough with the repairs that she invited him to eat there on a discount (though the short, clipped offer sounded more like an order than anything). He made a habit of going after the first visit. The food was good, the coffee even better, and he ended up getting along with Aoki as well. Over ten years with Suzuki had acclimated her to interpreting silence, and she knew intuitively when small talk, questions, or reciprocal silence were desired.

As it was still fairly early in the evening, the place was barely half full when Tatsuya and Jun arrived. Suzuki and Aoki were behind the long counter along the far wall, Aoki writing on a notepad and Suzuki bent over the coffee machine. Aoki looked up when the door hit a hanging bell and rushed over to meet them, smiling brightly. She was a bit shorter than Jun, with brown skin and eyes, and hair only slightly streaked with grey.

“Tatsuya! It’s been awhile!” If possible, her smile brightened when she looked at Jun, whose hand tightened fractionally around his boyfriend’s. “I’m Aoki, and that’s Suzuki.” she said, gesturing to the woman by the coffee machine. Suzuki curtly nodded to them, then turned back to the machine.

“And you must be Jun! Tatsuya talks about you so much, it’s wonderful to finally meet you.”

Jun’s hand loosened around Tatsuya’s somewhat, and he grinned. ”Does he really?”

“Oh, all the time!” she said. “Once he gets started it’s hard to get him to stop!”

“I’m going now,” Tatsuya said, and went to find a seat. Jun joined him, thankfully before he started asking any more questions.

In the wait between ordering and receiving their food, Tatsuya silently took in the surroundings as he often did, and his attention was magnetically drawn to the man sitting across from him. Jun always looked good, and the present was no exception, but he looked even better than usual. It could have been due to his floral blouse and jacket, or the faint make-up around his eyes and on his face, or maybe just by virtue alone of him being Jun.

And Tatsuya was still wearing a baking powder stained shirt and pants torn at the knee.

Jun frowned. “Is there something on my face?”

“You’re beautiful.”

He blinked, opened his mouth, closed it, and then averted his eyes, blushing faintly “Oh.”

Jun spoke haltingly at first, like he was out of practice, until he got more confident and spoke fairly rapidly about his job and people he’d met since the last time he’d seen Tatsuya and physics and some kind of math Tatsuya’d never heard of and only half understood even after Jun explained it twice.

This is what he wanted back at his apartment. He couldn’t very well hold Jun in a restaurant, but having him back, hearing him in person and not just over the phone, soothed a part of his spirit he never realized was agitated. The peace of being with Jun, the muted ambient noise of the café, the sugary taste of the pastry he’d gotten, flowed over to Apollo, and their combined contentment chased away any lingering cold from outside.

(He had to remember to keep a tight leash on that feeling. Once he’d gotten so suddenly happy about finding a stray cat in front of a house down the street that he’d made a garbage can spontaneously combust. The cat scratched him, and the couple who lived there weren’t fond of the sudden trash fire.)

He was enjoying himself immensely, which is why he was caught so off guard when Jun’s conversation flowed to his education classes, and his face fell and voice died all at once like a switch was turned off.

Jun quickly changed the subject and kept talking, but quieter and more vaguely than before. He looked ill.

Tatsuya lightly touched Jun’s hand and inclined his head towards the door.

He hesitated for a few moments, but then his shoulders slumped. “Yeah.”

He went to pay Suzuki as Jun left, but she waved away the money. “You barely ate anything, it’s fine. Tell Jun he’s always welcome back.”

He was leaning on the wall. His face was tired. “Sorry, about inside.”

Tatsuya shrugged. It really wasn’t a big deal.

“Sorry,” he said again, and if Tatsuya wasn’t worried before he definitely was now.

“Do you want to leave?”

Jun shook his head. “No. I’m fine. I want to go see the movie.”

He still didn’t seem fine, but Tatsuya would take his word for it for now.

Only a few pedestrians were out, all bundled tight against the encroaching cold. The sun was rapidly sinking, painting the sky in a burnt orange and yellow haze. He wrapped his arm around Jun’s shoulders, and he sighed and leaned into him. Tatsuya realized that his boyfriend’s makeup might have been there in part to hide bags under his eyes. He hugged Jun to his side, as if the gesture could ward off whatever troubled him.

Jun should be able to enjoy himself while he was here, and Tatsuya would try his best to make that happen.

---

‘Try’ being the operative word.

“I’m sorry, but that screening is sold out.”

That wasn’t too much of a problem. Tatsuya had a backup option in mind that looked romantic enough at first glance.

“That one’s sold out too.”

This one couldn’t be –

“Sold out.”

Or –

“Assume most of them are sold out.” The ticker seller said. Their tired dark eyes went from him to Jun and back in an expression that might have been pity but was more likely exasperation and a desire to keep the line moving. “There’s an older movie still playing, most people have seen it already. Want to see that?”

He looked to Jun for confirmation, and then nodded. The title was a weird one for a romance, but he’d be damned if at least one part of this date didn’t go well.

---

“The killer’s gone, you can look up now.” Jun whispered.

But Tatsuya kept his head ducked and his shirt collar pulled up around his eyes. He could just hear the shrill violin strings building to another crescendo.

“How are you scared by this? You’ve fought actual demons."

"That was different." Tatsuya muttered, reply nearly lost in his shirt.

A chord screeched, followed by a gory squelch he didn’t want to think about.

“Oh. I though he was gone. I didn’t think they’d be that predictable...”

He nearly jumped out of skin when Jun touched his shoulder. “Do you want to leave?”

Tatsuya nodded, and they left as an incompetent police officer interrogated a probably doomed teenager.

The sun was long gone, and had taken its light and warmth with it. He held Jun’s hand and walked close to him, both for warmth and because he was more afraid of passing shadows cast by streetlights and dark alleyways than he would like to admit.

“It was actually pretty funny.” Jun mused quietly beside him. “The effects were terrible.”

Tatsuya couldn’t contribute, having shut his eyes after the first jump scare ten minutes in. His boyfriend was feeling better, though, so any potential nightmares later that night worth it.

His lightened mood gave Tatsuya a fleeting burst of courage. “Um,” He began eloquently.

Words never felt like enough. They were small and frivolous and could hurt so much easier than they could help. But Jun was in some kind of distress and he needed to know, without ambiguity, that Tatsuya was here for him. “Are you ok? I feel like, something’s bothering you.”

Quiet settled around him, and Jun looked a bit lost again, but he didn’t let go of Tatsuya’s hand “Yes. No. Not really, its just – “ he stopped short, then said more definitively, “I’ll tell you, but can we talk about it tomorrow? ”

He nodded. Tomorrow would work. But he still couldn’t share off how sad and tired he looked when they met earlier at his apartment. He stopped walking, and Jun followed suit, giving him a questioning glance, streetlights reflecting in his eyes like stars.

Tatsuya had already started talking, might as well keep going. “I promise I’ll help. And whatever it is, I won’t love you any less.”

Pure, blank surprise took the place of melancholy. But why was he so surprised? Tatsuya hadn’t said anything that strange, except – oh.

Well, he would have said it eventually anyway. He looked away, though he knew it wouldn’t hide the blush flaring across his face. He might have prematurely ruined his resolution to communicate more by embarrassing himself into silence forever.

Jun squeezed his hand. “Okay,” he said, a smile in his voice. “And I love you too.”

Maybe talking didn’t always have turn out so bad.

Across the street a tree caught fire.

(Even with his boyfriend sleeping beside him that night, Tatsuya left a light on. Both agreed to avoid horror movies next time they went to a theater.)

#my writing #persona 2 #p2 #persona #food/

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purplesurveys · 6 years

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199

Have you ever read the Hunger Games series? No I never got into both the book and film series. I wish I did read the books though...oh well, it’s never too late to start on them. When was the last time you ran into something? There’s so many things I could run into though haha. I guess the frog that I met while I was taking some trash out a couple of days ago? Do you enjoy dressing up? Sure. I love parties. Do you live in the city or a rural area? In the middle. I literally live right before the city and right before the more province-y part of town. Would you say you have a sense of style? Yeah, my friends have pointed it out occasionally. It’s never intentional and I never wanted to project a certain image, but whatever.

What's your biggest fear? These surveys have made me realize that aside from cockroaches, I am also very terrified of fire. :-( Have you ever been bitten by a wild animal? Not bitten, although I got pecked by this huge bird in a mini-safari because it caught me taking a picture of it when I was 12. Are you close to any of your cousins? I’m close with one. We’re quite older, and everyone else is much younger so I can’t really build the close and personal relationship that I would want to have with them. Have you ever been lost in the woods? Nope I wouldn’t want to do anything that will put me in that situation. Where did you last travel? I was in Vigan last September. Do you enjoy driving? I love the independence aspect of it–my mom can’t ever say no to my plans now because I’ll always have the capability to drive anyway. But that’s the only advantage, really. Driving is exciting for the first few months but then you realize Manila traffic takes out at least four hours of your day everyday just weaving in and out of traffic. It’s ultimately tiring. What song did you last listen to? Tell Me How by Paramore. If you have a job, how often do you work? No job. What time do you normally go to sleep at night? I can’t give you an exact time but it’s usually between 9 PM and 1 AM. Do you watch a lot of movies? I used to but I’ve temporarily lost my muse for it. Hopefully the upcoming awards season will rouse my interest again. Do you like Tom Petty? Never listened to his music. Would you rather have snow or rain? I mean just because I’ve never seen it, snow. Do you own a lot of sweaters? Nope. I only have one and it isn’t even mine, technically. It’s too hot to wear sweaters any time of the year, so why spend several hundred bucks on something I doubt I’ll be able to wear more than twice a year? Have you ever tried rock-climbing? Oh man I always wanted to but was always lazy when there’s an opportunity hahaha. Ever ridden in a police car? No. Favorite decade of music? I don’t have one. I have favorite genres and they encompass various decades instead. Have any of your best friends been your best friend longer than a year? Yes. For longer than a decade, really. The only best friend I had who wasn’t able to hang on was Sofie, but even that had been longer than a year. Ever witnessed a murder? No. I’ve seen my loved ones getting murdered in my dreams, but never one in real life. Do you care what people think of you? My friends, yes. Anyone else, I don’t see why it should concern me. Does your room have a ceiling fan? No, I find it too old-fashioned for my room. Would you consider yourself poised? I have my moods, and that’s all thanks to my Classic Hollywood phase hahaha. I learned all of my etiquette from Audrey Hepburn. Have you ever tried blogging? Yes. I made a bajillion Blogger accounts but only made one entry with each of them. I had a lot because I would forget my username and password as soon as I made my first post and proceeded to abandon them. Favorite television channel? I don’t watch TV. Have you ever lied under oath? No. I’ve never even been under oath. What are your religious views? I don’t have any other than I never agreed with anything that’s ever come out of Catholicism, and that’s coming from 17 years of experience. Are you a romantic person? I’m super sweet in private. Otherwise, in a public setting, I’m hesitant to be showy. Just because I know it would annoy me if I saw a couple who’s a little into their PDA. Would you consider yourself a flirt? No. I never had the opportunity to find out for myself. At what age do you plan to be married? 27-29 should be fine. Do you eat a lot of junk food? Hah. When did you last go on vacation? September. Are you resilient? I can be. It will ultimately depend on the situation at hand. Have you ever failed a subject before? No. I’ve failed tests, but never a class. If so, what was the class? Do you wear more bright or dull colors? Dull. Wearing bright colors would be very out of character for me. Do you know anyone who has attempted suicide? Yes. What's your favorite quote? I give different answers to this question all the time. Right now it’s, “Next time you point a finger, I might have to bend it back or break it off / Next time you point a finger, I’ll point you to the mirror.” from Paramore’s Playing God. Would you consider yourself mature? Yeah, at least more mature than the wild party animals that are the business students in my school. How many clocks are in your house? Several. I can’t be bothered to visualize and start counting right now. Do you play any sports? Yes. I play table tennis. What is your biggest life regret? This isn’t my doing and it’s not really a regret, but I’ve always wanted to see the person I would have turned out to be if I wasn’t raised in the detrimental environment I was raised in. Like, who would I be if my mom didn’t put me down mentally and emotionally every single day? What kind of outlook would I have if I had parents who had jobs that allowed them to be constantly at home and thus would be able to actually build a connection with us? How happier would I have been if I didn’t have to spend every time wondering if my relatives would nearly attack each other to death, intoxicated? It’s really saddening and I apologize to myself every day for not being given something better, even though I don’t even know who to blame it on. Have you ever been injured in a car accident? No, I’ve been in veeeery minor ones. If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be? I’d love to be in a museum right at this moment. Have you ever had highlights in your hair? Never did like highlights. Favorite fast food restaurant? Jollibee. In what country were you born? Born and raised in the Philippines. Are your eyes more than one color? Nope. Have you ever caught something on fire? NOOOOPE. I’m scared of fire so when I do have to deal with it, I’m careful as all hell. What would you consider your biggest flaw? I’m way too sensitive. If someone takes even the slightest, most innocent dig at me, rest assured that it will stay with me and could change the way I look at myself. What do you think your best quality is? I’m fiercely protective of and loyal to my loved ones. I’d put them first before me any day. Some have noticed that I kind of sacrifice too much in order to benefit the other, but I’ve never seen that as a bad thing. My specialty, really, has always been being there for people. Do you enjoy listening to others' problems? I don’t enjoy the fact that they have a problem. I do enjoy that they trust me enough to tell me all about what they are going through and went to me for either support or advice. Do you keep any plants in your house? Yup, we have several in the living room. What is your mother's occupation? I have no clue. Last time I bothered to ask, she was some kind of secretary in one of the departments of the hotel she works in. Do any of your friends like your musical style? I don’t have a distinct musical style, that belongs to my other friends who give more attention to the aesthetic they put out haha. But none of them enjoy my punk rock taste, definitely. What are you most looking forward to? Our field trip for our art studies class next Saturday. What was your favorite television show as a child? My first-ever favorite was The Wild Thornberries and Hi-5 with the original cast. Then I moved on to Spongebob, Fairly OddParents, Drake and Josh, and The Suite Life as I got older. Are you afraid of insects? Completely. Are you cold-natured? I’m not sure what this wants to refer to. How old were you when you got your first pet? I may have been 5 when I got my first goldfish. Did you/do you enjoy high school? For the most part, yes. I went through a lot, but the reward from it is that I learned so much about myself in return. I gained a lot of friends, finally knew which types of people I want to build connections with, and I also grew a lot closer with my batch that I will never stop referring to as my sisters. I never viewed my academics as very important since I figured early on that it isn’t going to matter in the real world and in the long run, so I didn’t stress myself out on them as much as everyone else did. My only enemy was the Catholic vision of the school. What would you say was your favorite age? 16 was my happiest age. What annoys you most about social networking? I hate that homophobic, transphobic, and racist people are allowed to have accounts. Are you the center of attention most of the time? Definitely not. What are you currently reading? I’m not reading anything but after this I hope to start on my readings for history class that I’ve been putting off for ages hahaha. When did you last go to the library? I have no clue. April? Are you ill at the moment? Far from it. Do people tease you about anything? Nope. How late did you stay up last night and why? Around 10 PM. No reason. I wanted to sleep earlier but couldn’t, so I watched videos and read articles to make myself feel sleepy. Have you ever written poetry? Only when I had to for English. Curtains or shades? I have shades, but prefer curtains. How many people have you spoken to in the last hour? Two. Do you tend to text a lot? Yes, but the only person I text is Gab hahaha since everyone else is reachable on Messenger. Still, I text a lot. Ever lost a great best friend? Yes. Losing Sofie was kind of sad, but I got over it quickly. I also lost Gabie for a while. What is your favorite kind of flower? Answered this before. I love all flowers except anthuriums. I’m not sure about other countries, but in the Philippines that’s the go-to flowers for cemeteries and I’ve since grown to hate how it looks. How tall are you? 5′1″ or 5′2″. Haven’t checked in a while so it could be either one. Do you own any guns? No. I don’t have a reason to own one. What would you say is your favorite book of all-time? I’m afraid a book hasn’t had that much of an impact on me yet. Do you think you're living a good life? No. What's your least favorite part of the day? The afternoon when the weather is at its most humid :( Plus everyone just seems to be a little more dead at that time of the day. Are you an over-achiever? Hahahaha, no. No matter how well I perform there’s always someone else that makes me achievements almost laughable in comparison. Have you ever won an award for a speech? No. I’ve gained recognition, but not an actual award. Do you tend to curse a lot? Yes. Have you ever played on the Ouija board? No. Always been fascinated with it. Do you sleepwalk? I don’t. Have you ever slept on the floor before? Yes, I’ve had to several times. Are you a fan of public displays of affection? Fan is a creepy way to put it. I don’t mind PDA, people are allowed to hold hands and hold each other by the waist and such. It becomes meh when it goes too far like excessive cuddling, but thankfully I rarely witness that. I do remember one couple openly making out in Universal Studios in Singapore though. In a line for a ride. Filled with families. I wanted to make gagging noises so bad ugh. When did you last attend a yard sale? Years ago. Do you wish your life were simpler or more interesting? More interesting, of course. What goals do you wish to accomplish tomorrow? I want to get started on a homework for my major, and get more readings done. When is your birthday? April 21st. Which is worse: going blind or deaf? Bad question. What was the best part of today? Eh, it’s been pretty slow today. Nothing so far, really. Do you attempt to stay away from drama? Ugh for fucking sure, yes. I know some people who are still obsessed with high school level drama. It’s fun to watch it from afar.

What liquid did you last drink? Water. Do you ever prefer to be alone? Majority of the time. Have you ever had a deadly animal as a pet? No. My mom wouldn’t let that pass. Favorite Disney movie? Toy Story or Tangled. Have you ever been to the beach? Many times. If you have, how many times have you been? ^ What was your dream occupation at age ten? I wanted to be an author at the time, so not really far off from my present aspirations to work in mass communication. Are you terrified at the idea of weight-gain? No. I actually want to gain a little so that I can fit (nicely) into clothes that I do want to wear. I’m naturally thin and something that people tend to skim over about being skinny is that very few articles of clothing can complement your figure. Do you drink a lot of water? Yes. Love water. I’m responsible for finishing up the pitchers in the fridge all the time. Does your room have carpet or hard-wood floors? Hardwood. Do you take naps daily? Most of the time I can’t, since I spend the whole day in school. Who were you named after? I was told that I was named after the Swedish singer also named Robyn, but my parents’ versions change EVERY TIME I bring the question up. I have no idea why they can’t give me a straight answer. Do you plan on traveling this spring or summer? Yes if my dad happens to be home at that time of the year. Do you know anyone who is colorblind? I don’t think so. Have you ever been a teacher's pet? Ugh no. I stay away from that particular spotlight. What is your absolute favorite hobby? Exploring museums and other cultural sites :) I also love watching movies. How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Once. Twice at most. Ever been to a tanning bed before? No. I have no use for one and I don’t even know how to operate them, and I’ve seen the tanning bed part from Final Destination 3 enough times to know not to mess with them haha. Are you satisfied with your financial stability? I’m alright with my parents’ financial stability. Who is your favorite actor/actress? Kristen Stewart. I also like Kate Winslet but she’s in my shit list for now because she defended Woody Allen.

Are your nails painted? They aren’t. What's the meanest thing you've ever said to someone? When I was a kid, around 9, I used to tell my siblings all the time that I wish they were never born and that I were an only child instead, since I was always fighting with them for attention. I wasn’t raised a brat and I hate that I ever said that, and it’s really because of the environment I was raised in. I heard those words from my relatives and other people, and I just mimicked it because I thought it was an alright thing to say. Do you ever accidentally talk to inanimate objects? Yeah I say sorry ALL THE TIME to inanimate objects I bump into. What's your favorite flavor of ice cream? Cookies and cream and any flavor with an unusual concept. I tried spicy chocolate ice cream before, best thing ever. Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender? I would prefer to kiss somone of the same gender. Do you receive any hate mail? No. I got hate stuff on my Ask.fm once and since I don’t tolerate negativity on any of my social media, I went ahead and deleted my profile altogether. Have you ever sent a letter in the mail? Nope. If you could, would you have a pen pal? That seems sweet, but no. What color are the pants you're wearing? My shorts are blue. Have you ever had a stalker? I haven’t. What is your life philosophy? People don’t have to be blood to be family. Who last sent you a goodnight text message? My girlfriend. Do you own any clothes that are your favorite color? I have lots of black clothes; but as much as I love pastel pink, I have nothing of that color. Have you ever been in a hot tub before? Of course. What's your favorite comedy movie? White Chicks hahahahahahah.

#survey #surveys

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recklessbrash · 7 years

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Back to the Way Things Were Ch. 14

It's been long overdue my loves! Here we are, chapter 14. Once again, sorry for the lack of a cut but hopefully I'll be able to get into my account online besides the app. Enjoy, babes! 😘💟🎩 •*•*•*•*•*•*•*• The following month Jacob, Mara and Jack were sailed to India to meet with Evie and Henry and to get a whole other culture's assassinship in their current skill set. For Jacob this would be his 2nd cultural training and for Mara this would be her 4th since she was born and trained in America, Puerto Rico, and England. An ever so small bump had finally made its presence known, she was now 1 month and 3 weeks in with her pregnancy and both Evie and Henry were exhilarated. "I'm so happy for you both! What do you guys want to have?" Evie asked at the dinner table the same night they'd arrived. Jack had been seated next to Henry but he was too busy looking out the window. He spotted that girl he saw when they arrived at the village. She was a little older than him, 15 and one of the Indian Assassin's daughters who was very good friends with Henry and Evie. Avni, he recalled her name to be as he heard her father call for her. He went back to eating, wanting to finish and escape all the talk of the coming baby. "We're both hoping for a boy, but if not, that's alright as well." Jacob said as he spooned out some more hummus on his plate for his roti bread. "Have you both decided what you're going to name the baby?" Henry asked, his smile lines being more pronounced than when Jacob and Mara had last seen him. Mara answered this one as she noticed Jacob's cheeks puffed with food, chuckling, "If it's a boy we're naming him Ayden and if it's a girl, we decided Olivya. Both with a 'Y', we decided to be a little different." She said as she nibbled on some roti. Henry and Evie both nodded, smiles on their faces. "I happen to like that idea. But I still can’t imagine MY brother taking care of a baby. I mean, you have Jack the Lad here, but you both missed the baby stage with him, yeah?" Evie asked, wanting to ruffle Jacob's feathers. "Oi, I can too take care of a baby, the key is to not drop it or leave it behind somewhere." He said in defense. Mara gave him a sideways glance making him smile looking all innocent like. "Still excited, Mara?" Evie joked at seeing her reaction. "I mean, I'm still shocked Jacob was the one who initiated bringing Jack in to live with you. In all honesty, I'm very proud of you Jacob. It's about time you took on an initiate. Father would be proud of you as well." Evie sipped her wine, passing the clay pitcher across the table to see if either Jacob or Mara needed a refill. Jacob did, of course, he leaned over to see if his wife wanted any yet and she held her hand over her glass. "No, the smell still makes me ill. I'll pass, Jacob, thank you." She said, sticking with her water. "Alright, love. Are you well? How are you feeling?" He rubbed the small of her back before rubbing her stomach. Evie couldn't help but smile, looking at Henry who was smiling as well. "Alright, just really hungry." Mara chuckled, blushing. "The baby's been very demanding lately, hasn't he?" Jacob asked with a grin. "Ugh, don't remind me." She said, her hands covering her eyes. "What's the matter?" Evie asked. "She's been bloody starved the whole way here. Eating those, uh, what were they, dove? Almond cookies?" Jacob asked while Mara buried her face in her hands even more. "Yeah, almond cookies." She admitted shyly as he continued to rub her stomach. "Aye! Those almond cookies they were giving with just about every meal. I even started saving mine on the side." He said proudly, like he'd done a major service. Mara smiled with a shake of her head. "I think the baby likes the roti more." She said as she removed her hands from her face. "I admit, it's quite good, especially with the scallions on it. Even better with hummus." Jacob agreed. "What about you, Jack? What do you like?" Henry asked. "I liked it all. Especially the Lamb." He said, the sides of his mouth full of food debris. Mara leaned over and helped him wipe his face with the cloth, his eyes searing into her with anger. "Well, I'm going to clean up, shall we let the men have their time, Mara?" Evie asked as she got up and stretched. "Sure, I need to move around anyways." Mara agreed, getting up and stretching herself. Jacob grabbed her wrist, slowing her a little. "Are you sure? You're not tired?" He asked, his thumb gliding over the bone of her wrist. "I'm alright, Jacob. I'm going to talk with Evie and help her a bit. She shouldn't do all this which means I'm putting you in charge of getting Jack to bed." She smiled as Jacob pulled her down for a kiss. "Alright, love. I'll see you soon. Say goodnight, Jack, give everyone a hug and I'll get you to bed, lad." Jacob said, prompting Jack to hop off the chair and give Evie and Henry a hug and then Mara a two second one before siding over to Jacob. "Goodnight, Jack." Everyone said. "One moment, Greenie, I'll be right down." Jacob ushered Jack up the stairs as Henry threw his hands in the air. "After all these years, still calling me that?" Evie and Mara had finally got all the dishes in the kitchen when she hushed her tone. "Mara, I need to ask you something." Evie's voice sounded urgent and serious throwing Mara into instant concern. "What's the matter?" She asked, passing her dish by dish. "I don't mean to cause alarm, given your condition, I just want to know where my brother found the boy." She asked making Mara's mouth drop open. "O-oh…" "I saw the way he'd been looking at you during dinner. What's going on? Does he not like you?" Evie asked, concern written all over her face. Of course Evie would see, she's so perceptive to everything, it'd be hard to get one over on her. "I'm actually happy you ask, I feel like I'm going insane. Jacob found him at Lambeth Asylum. His mom was killed by Starrick back when he was still alive, before we overthrew him. He wasn't always like this either. I noticed a change ever since shortly after Jacob and I had talked about being ready to have children of our own. I have a strong feeling Jack overheard that conversation." She confided in Evie. Evie furrowed her brows. "What does Jacob think of all this?" She asked as she scrubbed the plates. Passing the cleaned ones to Mara for her to wipe them dry. "He doesn’t see it. Jack is very good about showing only me and not Jacob the faces he makes. They always seem to be behind Jacob's back. It's like I'm in the way. Now that I'm pregnant, it scares me." Evie finally met her eyes with Mara's. "I'm not going to lie, the lad troubles me. I know Henry saw it as well." She said passing the last plate on the stack of dishes yet to be dried before helping Mara dry them. "Thing is, Evie, Jacob's been nothing but a father to him. It's like Jacob is his hero. And he's teaching him to be an Assassin and he takes it very seriously. It's just me he doesn’t like. I mean, didn’t you see, he hugged you and Henry decently but he hugged me for barely a second. It used to never be like this. And I keep telling myself that it's just that he's getting older, he doesn't need me anymore, he needs a man to follow. A man like Jacob." Evie found tears running down Mara's cheeks. She let go of the dish she was drying and pulled her sister-in-law in a hug. "I'm sorry, Evie." She said, burying her face in the taller woman's shoulder. "What ever for?" Evie asked, rubbing her back. "I've been an emotional mess since I been pregnant, crying at the drop of a gauntlet. Or getting upset over the silliest of things. Like, I tripped over one of Jack's wooden cars the last day we were home and I cried over it. Don't get pregnant." Mara warned before laughing. Evie began to laugh too as she pulled away to look at her sister which quickly became uncontrollable. As they recovered, Evie wiping a tear from the corner of her eye looked at Mara. "Well, hopefully after this batch of initiates, Henry and I can focus on making a family of our own. I so badly want to, I'm well ready. Seeing you and my brother tonight… has only fueled that desire to be a mother. And look at you!" Evie exclaimed, placing a palm over Mara's small bump, "I'm so happy I'm going to be an aunt!" They giggled and hugged once more. "I'm so happy for you both. I'm truly proud of you and of Jacob. I know I was taking the piss earlier but, I am. You're both going to make perfect parents." Evie softly said before pulling away from Mara again. "Thank you, Evie. It'd mean the world to us if you and Henry were there 8 months from now?" She asked more as a question, a hopeful look on her face. "I'll be sure to bother him every day until he says yes. He owes me anyways, we've been working nonstop and I need a holiday. WE need a holiday. By then, our current initiates will have moved on and we'll be free for the first time in a long time." Evie relished the thought. "The last time you and Jacob were here was for our wedding, you still haven’t told me how much you like the way the house turned out." Evie frowned making Mara smile. "It's utterly gorgeous. I love what you've done with the place, truly. The colors are lovely and lively, vibrant. A very wonderful burst of Indian colors." Mara noted as Evie grinned. "My dearest sister, Jacob and I need to head to bed, we have an early day tomorrow right? I'm excited to get the Indian Brotherhood training under my belt." Evie nodded and gave a yawn. "You're going to love it. I can’t wait to show you the fear tactics we use on enemies, you're going to love it!" She said again, ushering Mara towards the dining room to meet up with their men. Evie sat by Henry while Mara migrated towards Jacob, sitting down and leaning against his shoulder. "There's my lass. Hello, love. Knackered? Ready to get some sleep? We've a long and early day tomorrow." Jacob asked, pecking the top of her head. "Very ready. I'm exhausted. Jack asleep?" She asked before Jacob nodded. They said their goodnights and headed to bed. Their bedroom was a big one with large windows since it was very hot in India. Jacob opened them, staying in his underwear. Mara was busy fishing out a chemise also staying in her home sewn underwear. She hated knee-length underwear of the day so she specially cut and sewed all her underwear to be shorter which she found made it easier to maneuver in. Once she was in her pajamas, she sat at the vanity that was in the room and began brushing her hair while Jacob was fussing with the mosquito net that surrounded their bed. "Bloody hell, Jack's bed had one of these. They're a bitch to figure ou- where the hell is the opening?!" He hissed throwing his hands in the air in forfeit. "Just lift it up, silly. We'll enter from there." Mara said putting the brush down and scooping an ample amount of lotion in her hands and rubbing it in. "Can you get my back, please, Jacob?" His eyes widened as he made his way to her at the vanity. "I was hoping you'd ask." He wore a cheeky grin as he rubbed the lotion over her shoulders and back, his large calloused hands working over her soft skin, kneading and rubbing. His hands slid to her neck and collarbones, no longer rubbing, just touching and then slid under the top of her chemise. "Jacob!" Mara whispered, looking at him in the mirror, "Not here! Your sister and brother are in the other room!" She grabbed hold of his forearms, her fingers never meeting her thumbs all the way around. Jacob grinned and leant down to her ear, meeting her gaze in the mirror. "I guess we'll just have to be quiet then, won't we, hm?" He scooped her up, making her squeak as he crossed the room, lifting the mosquito net. She was trying to fight him as she kept giggling placing her down on the fluffy sheets. "The idea is to be quiet, love." He said, teasing her. She frowned as he leaned down and kissed her lips, slowly positioning himself over her. "You look utterly gorgeous tonight." He said after he pulled away, running a hand through her hair. She smiled softly, cupping his face running a finger along the scar on his left cheek while her thumb traced the scar at the end of his right eyebrow making him smile. "You are devilishly handsome, you know that?" She asked looking in his eyes. "You make me blush, Mrs. Frye." She smiled as she leaned up and kissed him before pulling him down with her, her hair fanning out around her in the process. He frowned, drooping his head as he remembered them having to wake early in the morning to train. "We're going to have to put this on hold, darling." Jacob huffed as she ran her thumbs over his cheekbones. "I know, we've a long and early day tomorrow. Let's get some sleep, alright?" Mara leaned up, kissing him once more before they shifted towards their pillows, snuggling up to one another. "It's bloody hot over here, 'innit? I hate it." Jacob complained as he slipped her hand in his, interlacing their fingers together. She giggled, nodding her head in agreement, "I know, tomorrow's going to be a rough one." She shifted closer to him, his free hand resting against the tiny bump on her stomach, rubbing gently. "Do me a favor, yeah?" He asked, prompting her to look up at him. "Just, promise me you'll take it easy. For both you and the baby. Alright, Mara?" Jacob caressed the side of her face softly before rubbing her stomach again. "I promise, I will. Ok? I love you." She whispered as he leaned in and kissed her forehead and then her lips before settling down again on his half of the pillow. "I love you more. Goodnight, little dove."

#back to the way things were #back to the way things were chapter 14 #jacob frye #jacob frye x reader #jacob frye x oc #assassin's creed #assassin's creed: syndicate #assassin's creed syndicate #assassin's creed syndicate jack the ripper #assassin's creed syndicate jack the ripper dlc #assassin's creed syndicate jack the ripper dlc fanfic #candiepoison/recklessbrash

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godsgirlrachelart · 7 years

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Space Ace Stickers! (+ other stickers!)

EDIT: I can’t get the links to work on this post for whatever reason, but I made a new post specifically with only the links to everything in here, so if you search the tag links on my blog, it should pop up! I’ll leave this in the comments as well, so people can see this even if it’s been reblogged~ Thank you! So if you're wondering why you were tagged here, you probably reblogged ---> this And I felt obligated to gather all of you together to update everyone on how you can now officially get these, since so many of you/your followers liked them and left such sweet comments 💜 SO, getting right into it!

• Yeah, these are stickers and not buttons. YET! The (short) post explaining why is ---> here

• Once I have another $265 to buy a button maker for 1" buttons, I promise, they'll be buttons~! In fact, once they're buttons, they probably won't be available as stickers anymore. I just decided to make the Space Ace into stickers because they got so popular, and the rest as fill-ins until I design more, better, stickers • Most of these are Space Ace buttons, but the other buttons (Steven Universe, Over the Garden Wall, Wander over Yonder, and Black Butler) available can be seen ---> here and here

• I'm gonna be honest, the edges on this first batch (excluding the Black Butler stickers) are horrible, and I'm so sorry about that 🙃 I need to do some very simple and quick edits to the PS file before I print out any more, but this is my first time making stickers, so forgive the Learning-By-Trial-And-Error stage just starting out. As I space them better, and save up to buy a circle Matt cutter, the quality will improve~!

• They will probably be available through most, if not all, of the summer months, and the remaining spring months, as that'll be the time I finish up my animation class, and make more things to sell over summer break~

• S+H will be added to the price after they're sent, because I'm still learning how the heck you figure out adding that stuff into the charge before sending them, but unless you live outside the US, that should be under $10 (also if anyone that does this all the time wants to teach me how to figure that out, you’d be such a blessing, cause I’m horrible at math, and don’t even know what to look for/where to start looking for it to learn :’ ) )

• I do plan to make more stickers/buttons for the LGBT+ community like the Ace ones I made (even if they don't match the theme), but I have to be very careful, as I'm closeted to the family I live with currently, and still a little ways away from moving out (tho hopefully getting closer to doing that~), so it may be quite a while before I make more, sorry about that :' ) If you're not a big fan of the original art I do/fan art I draw for (Yurio on Ice, Wander Over Yonder, Steven Universe, Star vs, Black Butler, Hamilton, Heathers, Revolutionary Girl Utena, etc.), but you want me to tag you whenever I do, at last, make more of those, leave me a CHAT message and I'll be more than happy to~!

• Sameless Advertising below Ko-fi My YouTube My Instagram (all tags under the cut~!)

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@sachi-the-cat @and-ill-rise-likethebreakof-dawn @mauriel676 @birdnerd29 @slightlyagitatedscientist @magnoliabaalbuster @mkjello @so-t-i-r-e-d @mx-muffin @aspecsafespace @rat-goots @themelodyofsilence @ace-waste-of-space @silverspirit98 @thecommunityoftrustworthysinks @mccreeshorseprince @panciotta @rexness613 @the-magic-rabbit-99 @onfirefiretruck @redlikerayses @phosphorescent-incandescence @amusedofspace @she-is-beauty-she-is-grey-ace @rainy-blue-skies @just-one-more-cup-of-coffee @amaryllishuntley @purple-grey-black @acewithamacefullofgrace @paintingxshadows @talkativetaid @naw-sexual @handsome-spaceboy @just-another-spoonie @cooliodragon @theacearmy @astriferous-ace @katlanacross @you-look-beautiful-as-always @electrospacewing @angusburger26 @merlinconsultinginthedogpark @steampoweredsans @marvelfangeek09 @pastel-oikawa @wonderland-of-thoughts @warnerswhiskey @kurage-3 @legendarydragondefender @rrainythefairyqueen @grand-inquisitor-of-feels @little-magicpuff @fourandahalfapple 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#LGBT #MOGIA #Ace #Asexual #stickers #gray-sexual

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