#hope you all have a great one!

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Year of the Dragon!

#non mdzs #lunar new year #digital art #Still struggling with figuring out digital art stuff but I’m getting there #The year of the rabbit really was a special and lucky one for me. Maybe because sometimes it is also the year of the cat. #The energy of the rabbit might not be with me but I hope to have the wisdom of the dragon leading my days #This week is going to be filled with a lot of sappiness so I won't go into yet. #But thank you to everyone for making me feel less anxious and afraid with all the kindness you have shown me. #I have become somewhat domesticated now. I will sniff your hand if there is a treat in it. Maybe blink slowly at you from a distance. #HAVE A WONDERFUL LUNAR NEW YEAR EVERONE! We are all gonna do great B*)

[kimtaegis]

LILACS BY THE SEA a music collection curated for @cordiallyfuturedwight Lilacs (Kayla) Playlist • Sea (Seokjin) Playlist song notes

cr. mahoneysuga, rawpixel, bts-trans, Diana Zviedrienė

#btsgif #btsedit #btsgfx #bangtan #bts #kim seokjin #usergif #gfx #tuserandi #usersan #userines #userkelli #usersky #tuseral #underbetelgeuse #usersevn #userzaynab #*sj #*gfx #*gifs #one day late :( #again - happy belated birthday my darling angel baby kayla #I really wish you nothing but happiness and joy and health and great memories and many smiles and of course LOVE LOVE LOVE #you're irreplaceable darling and I hope we all were able to show you how immensely appreciated admired and adored you are (triple a!) #this set here wouldn't have been created without 15 wonderful people (you can see who by clicking the 'song notes' link) #who love you so dearly and sent me songs for this little music collection #we all know what music means to you so this just felt Right. this is you! this is your essence! #I hope that when you listen to the two playlists you will be reminded of how many people you positively impact on the daily #we love you so much

[sneez]

conrad veidt would make a great tragedian i think

#pathologic #conrad veidt #artwork #scopophobia #id in alt text #if any of you actually benefit from IDs id be very grateful to know if you prefer them in the alt text or in the post body! #anyway :D HIM #this is caligari-era connie obviously. i was saying this the other day but later connie would be a great saburov i think #i cant decide if i prefer the idea of him playing every tragedian or him being a very obviously incongruous tragedian who has just painted #his face to look like a mask and is hoping nobody will notice #also please ignore that the lighting doesnt make sense on the second one i used reference images lit from two different angles and didnt #notice until i had rendered it out because i always flip my canvas so often and im too lazy to fix it #anyway (part 2) i am still on my conrad veidt autism explosion and i am having a great time. i am having so much fun. i love he #i hope you are all well too my friends! term just finished for me so i am back hoam :D yaaay

[cordiallyfuturedwight]

❤️ for @rjshope (cr. dwellingsouls)

#userbangtan #usersky #annietrack #heyryen #useremmeline #usermaggie #userpat #tuserandi #userkelli #trackofthesoul #dailybts #mine! #kim seokjin #seokjinedit #btsedit #FIRST OF ALL. happy birthday dasha!!! <3 ilysm #our christmas eve baby <333333 adorable #you once said you love my jin sets so of course i had to make one just for you <3 i hope it makes you smile #hope you know you are so loved and hope you have a great birthday and holiday season!!!!!!!

[ratguy-nico]

Adivinen quien al fin dibujo algo? Wich means I'm back baby!

Its not perfect (like everything I made), but I just love drawing comic-like-stuff, I get to relax more. I dont try to do the lines perfectly or the super accurate anatomy (mostly cause I dont know shit about anatomy at all) and also get to be more simple in the colors, wich helps cause I struggle making colors a lot.

I missed drawing my babies...but why did I drawing them like that? XD I swear...I think I should have seen some reference cause I totally change the way I draw the Burger Babys which is crazy for me XD

Now...is this an AU, is this them as teenagers, why is Louise working on Aplebees? Well I didnt put an exact age for the guys here, they could be 16 or 19 I dunno.

This is solely based on this post from @zer0ogravity I lmao with this and totally need it to draw it.

btw I from Latam, I didn't knew what Applebees was until making this comic so if Applebees dont look like this sorry.

#bob's burgers #my art #bobs burgers #im back #I have been drawing other stuff #but this is the one I get to finish #is kinda...not clean(?) #but hey is funny #... #at least the dialogue #hope you like it #love the dynamics here #Im totally sure that when Louis get old enough to swear #she would do it all the time #just because #and this got me thinking Gene could be a great #they are such a foodie he would want just the fresh-esh ingredients #Oh! like Bob in that halloween episode #he was so excited abouth the beekeeping #my poor man #XD #and Tina is just me ordering anything #I have to rehearse exactly what am I gonna order #and if they tell me we dont have this would you want to changed it with this? #my brain literally explode #so everytime I get my order right I congratulate myself #and get high five if any of my family or friend is with me #did you miss my excess of tagging? #love you all

[killjoy-prince]

House M.D. but it's when a character says the name of the episode

#house md #prince's talk tag #flashing #repitition #so as i was watching this show i noticed they'd say the episode title in the episode #so i wanted to see how many times they did it #the people on livejournal who made transcripts of the episodes are my saviors and without them this would of been so much harder to do #thank you all for your service and i hope wherever you all are you're having a great day #sometimes they would use a variation of the word like in the episode poison they would say 'poisoned' or 'poisoning' #i did not include those instances #there was an instance in 'merry little christmas' where they do play the song in the show #but since ella fitzgerald was not a character in the show i did not include it #where as in the episode 'joy to the world' the students are singing it in the concert so i did include that #i apologize for the tonal whiplash when you get to that part but it did make me laugh #one of the times kutner says 'locked in' is overshadowed by the POTW's voice over but i assure you he says it and thats why its in there #out of the main characters from the one who said the title the most to least are #House > Foreman > Wilson > Chase > Cuddy > Adams > Cameron and Taub > Kutner > Thirteen and Park #this took a bit to do lolol its probably been done already but i wanted my own #there is a chance im missing some on technicalities but idc. im fine with this #there are two more i wanna do but with a character saying another character's name but ill do that some other time #EDIT: When I was making this video I was unaware that the Pilot episode went by two names: 'Pilot' and 'Everybody Lies' #Basically everywhere I looked the first episode was only referred to by 'Pilot' #which I found weird bc i remember seeing somewhere that the last episode was paired with the first episode in terms of title #but i couldn't find hard proof so I decided to leave it out at the time #well i checked again last night and yea the pilot IS also called Everybody Lies so I updated the video #I also think it goes well with the fact that House does say 'Everybody Dies' in the finale so another reason to fix it #AND he says it without Wilson while he and Wilson say the title of the pilot sooooo yea hehehehehe

[somewhereincairparavel]

if you are ever upset about Jason Grace slander, remember that the more people don't like him, the more we truthers can gatekeep his awesomeness to ourselves, so one day if the fandom might change their opinion about him for the better, we can claim our "always been a fan" ticket 😤💅

#Jason Grace ppl r blind to your greatness but you will be famous one day 😔 #I have hope for his mainstream rep tbh bc yknow how a few characters get sm love all of a sudden when they were originally hated a lot? #I do see improvement in jason love tho recently so that's good #I found a jason fanclub account on Instagram of all apps and i couldn't be happier #Our accounts will make a difference in jason grace appreciation #I've been told that I'm converting ppl into jason stans sooo 👀 #pjo #pjo fandom #percy jackson #jason grace #pjo hoo #pjo series #pjo hoo toa

[crybaby-bkg]

I love jealous Bakugou who starts peacocking after a while to get all of your attention.

going to a party and Kiri carelessly picks you up to spin you during a dance, drunken laughter shared between you two. Bakugou watches on the couch the whole time, eyes slitted as he nurses the same beer he’s had all night. he listens to you giggle over the music about how strong Kiri is and—fuck it, he’ll show you strength. he takes the opportunity to scoop you off of your feet next time you guys are out and there’s a puddle in the middle of the road, puffs his chest out a little as he cradles you against him, when you let out that lighthearted giggle but for him this time.

Bakugou catches you chatting deku up, squeezing at his biceps when you tease him about how big he’s been getting. you only do it bc you know it flusters the green haired man, and you think it’s cute how he looks like a strawberry whenever you coo at him. But Bakugou only sees that as the push to go to the gym more, focusing even more on his arms, wearing all of his tanks around you. puffs his chest out again when he puts his arms behind his head and you pat at the bulging muscle and find yourself tracing the veins on his arms.

He sees you dancing with Sero at another squad gathering, something fast and sensual, your arms around his neck while he holds your waist. his face is buried into your neck and it makes you giggle whenever he whispers where to move your feet next. and does Bakugou take that as an active threat against his crush on you? of course he does. finds himself holding you against him at a party, swaying with you, way out of his comfort zone but he wants to show you that he can dance too, damnit.

Denki makes some offhanded comment about holding your bags when you go out to an amusement park, something else about going with you when you need the bathroom too. Bakugou is most definitely shoving him out of the way, manhandling all of your bags from you as he pushes you in the direction of the bathrooms instead. finds his chest practically spilling out of his shirt when you hug him by the end of the night, thanking him for being so kind, telling him that he’s the best friend you could ask for.

and does his heart drop to his ass when he hears the word friend? maybe. just a little.

#a hint of angst in the end lol a little unrequited love if you will #I wrote this last night while sleeping meds were in my system #so I hope this makes sense #I was thinking about jealous peacocking bkg tho all day yesterday #bc I wore this cute ass maxi dress and was like #he’d be so pressed to say that he was my bf lol #I want him obsessed just a liddol 🤏🏾 #oh and I loveeeee the thought of dancing with Sero so so so much #like hip to hip #faces close as you breathe in the same breath #and he’s smiling down at you all cheeky bc he sees how flustered you are just from dancing #I’m slowly becoming a Sero simp omg o vant #I CANT #what the hel is o vant #anyway #I wanna either do my makeup today or keep writing my original story #not enough hours in the day :( #have a great one guys!!! #—another tasty treat! 🍬 #mha sweets! 🍬 #bakugou treats! 🍬

[marshmallowgoop]

I combined footage from my Detektiv Conan Blu-ray with audio from my Case Closed FUNimation DVD and made an HD English dub clip compilation for Episodes 57-58, "The Holmes Freak Murder Case."

#detective conan #case closed #video #funimation english dub script #i wasn't actually gonna post this video to tumblr because it's so long (because i have a lot of feelings about this case!) #but folks on discord liked it and i'm all about my funi dub propaganda so why not right? #the dub script here is just so fun--and does so well at making the dialogue *work* and sound natural in english #and has so much flavor! it does arguably too much in terms of creative liberties but things like #'can i really trust what a kid saw?' of the sub translation compared to 'and what were you smoking before you ran out there?' in the dub #are much more enjoyable to me #(other fun phrasings: 'the one who's always hangin' around you guys' (sub) vs. 'the little-bitty one with the great big brain!' (dub)) #(and 'of course not! the reason i applied for this tour was 'cuz i thought i might find kudo' (sub)) #(vs. 'who me? no no no. actually i signed up because i was hoping to run into jimmy here. but i guess i'm out of luck' (dub)) #(and so many more! this script just has so much character) #and while it is a shame that the dub eliminated heiji's accent i do like the changed line ('i know it's you!') #'cause you've met shinichi *once* heiji lol #but yeah this is a fun case! i'm really happy to have finally hd'd the funi dub for it :') #one of my favorite things about the funi dub is that jerry jewell (shinichi's va) voices conan's thoughts #and it's so nice to hear *shinichi* and heiji deducting together (and the way they finish each other's thoughts and vibe... it gets to me)

[cherrytraveller]

sorry that i've deprived you all of a wip preview, anyway; deity-fies your local bad future mystic magic nuke

#wip #rottmnt #rottmnt mikey #future mikey #once again failing the 'dont draw f!mikey crying for once' challenge #im sorry he's just so great to dramatify #the one with the most heart....carrying all the grief and rage #something something the violence it takes to be this kind #SOMETHING SOMETHING MIKEY BEING THE SPIRIT OF WAR #of slaughter you ask? the spirit of war tactics and strategies? of murderous victories? of warmongering triumph? #the spirit of war is a tragedy #the spirit of war is grief of mothers losing their sons and daughters #of men losing their families #of wailing children wandering battlefields lost in the carnage #the spirit of war is ravaged homes and plundered people #its the cries for mercy and waning hope and tearful terror #there is no glory in this spirit #only grief. only rage. how dare you call upon it #sorry i went on a tangent #i have like. all this handcrafted lore of my F!Mikey that i havent dropped on any of you yet #so i might look a bit unhinged #[SHAKES VIOLENTLY IN PLACE GROWLING AND FOAMING AT THE MOUTH LIKE A FERAL CHIHUAHUA] #okay im normal again #<- lying

[moonkhao]

ภาพสุดท้ายจุงดังMV dir. Joong Archen

#joong archen #dunk natachai #joongdunk #THIS WAS SO GOOD #i hope joong keeps doing little projects like this one in the future #also @ gmmtv do you see how good they can be with a good script??? #i'm begging you pls give them a great script and let them shine ;_; #my edits #(this is minus the disney parts bc the quality and the coloring of the gifs would not have matched at all okay bye) #(the quality of these is horrible bc i still can't color dark scenes but it is what it is <3)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

My rendition of @tempo-takoyaki's DTIYS!

Congrats on the milestones! And to everyone else, please go check out their 'Drawing TGCF (except I haven't read the books)' series!

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #svsss #tgcf #wei wuxian #shen qingqiu #xie lian #better drawn mdzs #(Vaguely??? I think SQQ came out handsome enough to put him in my special gallery) #Showing up to submit this less than 3 days before the DTIYS ends is filling me with a bit of anxiety but it is done! #Initially I was going to do a descending level of realism/detail but noses make me nervous still. One day I'll get there. #The irony is that I was planning on drawing something to celebrate tempo finishing season 1 of their series only to find this DTIYS! #*and* it was their birthday recently. I am compelled to lift them into the air and shout their praises. #What a genuinely kind person with an art style I want to bite into like a crunchy apple!!! The *range* is incredible! #Also their xie lian is probably one of my favourite interpretations. So done with everything but not misanthropic. #Remembers everything and lets other's spin in circles with their lies for the sheer chaos of it all. Teases relentlessly. Deeply sad. #Give it a read! They are planning on continuing on so now is a great time to catch up! #Thanks for hosting this fun art challenge Tempo! We all appreciate you deeply B*) #I hope you have a better year in 2024 - you truly deserve the best.

[hotwaterandmilk]

So I received my final big package of proxy stuff I'd bought before I changed jobs and it's full of great stuff (and weird stuff -- now I know why there's no internal pics of Asamiya's Lebia doujin around, her nips are out the whole time lol). However, there's one thing I am just absolutely over the moon about.

Like... just... I was stunned.

I managed to win an auction a few months back of the first Shougaku Ninensei issue featuring Fujii Midori's Wedding Peach manga (one of the manga serials that was never published in collected volumes). That in itself is pretty exciting, the only other chapters I own are towards the end of the series' run and I've never had the opportunity to see how it all started. BUT IT GOT BETTER.

*deep breath*

The first chapter of Fujii Midori's Wedding Peach manga is IN FULL COLOUR.

A FULL COLOUR WEDDING PEACH MANGA CHAPTER.

Now admittedly this chapter is like all of Fujii Midori's Wedding Peach manga chapters and only 8 pages in length. But it also has a bonus page in colour so that's 9 full colour pages in one issue. OF FUJII'S GORGEOUS, FUNNY, AND WHIMSICAL SHOUJO ART. ;o; I've been following Wedding Peach for 25+ years and it amazes me that I can still be floored by finds from this series after decades of digging into it.

Story-wise we have Momoko, Yuri and Hinagiku seeing a wedding in passing which causes Momoko to think back to her mother and the ring she left her. Enter Pluie who is after the Saint Something Four. He attacks the girls, they smack him back a bit, Limone appears with a compact (Saint Miroir) through which Aphrodite appears. Momoko shouts "Wedding Beautiful Flower!" and ALL THREE transform into angels before powering up (per above) into their fighter forms as Angel Peach, Angel Lily, and Angel Daisy.

Pluie is dispatched with Peach's "Saint Miroir Bridal Flash" attack and the girls return to their civillian forms, each wanting to know more about their new circumstances and the angel Limone. End chapter.

So a super condensed intro chapter that has all the girls awaken and transform at once (which makes sense given the number of pages Fujii was working with here). It's fascinating seeing what things were kept and what was ditched for length here.

Unfortunately my scanner problems are not over so it might be a while before I can share this chapter (which BTW has the kana title of Super Angel Story Wedding Peach or Chou Tenshi Densetsu Wedding Peach, potentially a variation on the initial Ai no Chou Tenshi Densetsu subtitle Yazawa's Ciao manga had). I just wanted to let you all know that this has consumed my mind today despite all the other crap going on in my life and the world.

Oh and I got some other sweet stuff too, stay tuned for more.

#ai tenshi densetsu wedding peach #wedding peach #fujii midori #midori fujii #dljgkdfjglkdfjgldf #i had an infusion today so i'm barely functioning #but this was d;lfkg;ldkgd #truly amazing stuff #i wish i had infinite money i'd get all of these magazines #but i'm just one person #and wedding peach isn't popular enough to have people lining up for this content #even still this was a great moment for me #made me a really happy fan #and i'm keen to share what i have when i can #hope you enjoy this little glimpse into things #sorry if i missed/fucked up anything #infusion brain

[ifindus]

1660 - Cavalryman - Several wars under Denmark against Sweden.

1697 - Gunner - pre-Great Nordic War under Denmark against Sweden.

1774 - Skiing Soldier - pre-Theater War under Denmark against Sweden.

1785 - Infantryman - pre-Great Northern War under Denmark against Sweden.

1808 - Coast Guard Officer - Napoleonic Wars under Denmark.

1845 - Infantryman - pre-First Schleswig War under Sweden against Germany.

1855 - Infantryman - during the Crimean War (Sweden-Norway debated joining the UK and France against Russia).

1905 - Hunter - preparing for wars of independence against Sweden.

1914 - Engineer Officer - First World War.

1940 - Infantry Officer - Second World War.

#historical hetalia #hetalia #aph norway #hws norway #damn this took a long time #if you haven't heard much from me the last three days it's because I was studying and doing this #had this idea ages ago but never did it because: very time-consuming :P #but now I did it!! #SNL (store norske leksikon) has this great illustration of all these uniforms and it is inspiring every time I look at it #and then norgeshistorie.no posted a new article about militarization in Norway during the union with Denmark and I had to do the project #we all know how much I like drawing uniforms and historical clothing 😔😔😔 #even bought a book about historical clothing this spring - for references #but it's a bit confusing so might get another one if I see a good one #I do love the historical asks I get because then I get to nerd out about all the cool history I know 👀 #I have mentioned before but; Norway was perhaps /the/ most militarized country in Europe during the 1600s #there are a lot of stories from towns and villages nearby about the results of this #anyway; hope everyone enjoys Norway in uniforms!! 😁 #I am sure some minor details will be inaccurate but I tried

[crescentfool]

having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!

#persona 3 spoilers #minato arisato #hc and au nonsense #lizzy speaks #happy international asexuality day to my fellow aces out there i hope you know that you are loved!!! 🎊🎉🥳 #i like viewing minato with the lens of him being gay / ace. esp bc it stems from my own experiences so it's fun to look at- #him from that perspective even if that's not what was intended by atlus y'know? #and im sure others have other hcs from me that are informed by their own life experiences and i think that's great ^_^ #something that i found interesting while playing FES was how. stilted? minato's animations felt when hugging the girls #you could definitely go with the perspective that it's a graphical limitation or they didn't have time to polish the animations #and that's def true!! but sometimes i see the hug @ yakushima beach + the other hugs and then i compare it to the sou/yo hug in p4 #and there's like... a noticeable difference to me with how intimate and close together the hugs are... #that said i do know that the animations for reload are updated and the hugs are much more natural (good on them tbh!) #the other thing is (pensive sigh). the way you couldn't reject any of the girls when doing their social links in FES #objectively speaking i'm glad that they did away with that and i like how the rejections were handled in reload. it feels naturally written #but also a part of me enjoyed looking at the “hey atlus what the FUCK” moment and thought of how to interpret it differently #specifically with the idea of minato having like.. little to no autonomy and kind of going along with the relationship #it kind of reminded me of myself tbh with like going along with the rship without considering what you want bc #it's what others want or expect out of you... LOL. i dont think atlus intended for someone to interpret it this way but #eh i think that's the fun part of hcs and looking at characters with certain lenses! #regardless of how you perceive minato i do think there's something to be said about him being the kind of guy who molds himself- #into someone that is needed. not wanted. but needed. important distinction here. #the one caveat my brain runs into when im like “minato is ace!” is when i remember thanatos exists and i go #“you know what these ideas can exist simultaneously” GKLHFHDFHD when in doubt schrodinger's headcanons #anyway that's all i've had this thought in my brain in awhile and haven't sat down to share it properly until now 👍 #have an excellent weekend everyone !!! lizzy loves you all lets all nurture our inner yippee!!! 🥺💙