#honestly if anyone wants to ask me about my ocs tumblr is probably the best way to do it thanks to no character limit

[dracononite]

Oh god I love your OC Fletcher so much he's so cool iuhygfhjkihgvfghj

OMG thank you he's one of my favorite ocs..... it means a lot that people like him. here are some tidbits about him!

he has pet rats named Ozzy and Slasher after the musicians

he has multiple sclerosis which is the reason he uses mobility aids including arm crutches and a wheelchair, he experiences fatigue, chronic pain, muscle weakness and difficulty balancing

his red tinted glasses are not prescription, he wears them because they look cool

his fave movie is School of Rock

his parents were hippies in the 70s

he's a werewolf

#mail #oc #fletcher #honestly if anyone wants to ask me about my ocs tumblr is probably the best way to do it thanks to no character limit #sparrowmage

[pennywaltzy]

The Basics -- 2, 8, 9

The Specifics -- 18, 19, 20

2: Are you a pantser or plotter? Pantser. That's probably why I have so many WIPs where I go back to them and I'm all "Where the fuck was I going with this?"

8. Oldest WIP: Oh lord. I think I have some Buffyverse WIPs that I need to dig out of the text file from my old Yahoo Group alternabuffyfic, but the oldest one I have (from when I started writing it) is "Urge To Fight," which is a CSI: NY/Startgate Atlantis fic that I will finish one day. The oldest WIP I have on AO3 chronologically is "When In University..." a Pondlock xfic which I was going to turn into an original fic because I got told Sherlock was too OOC...then series 3 & 4 happened and I was vindicated that he's a soft little meow meow under it all, so fuck all the haters of that fic it's getting finished in the near future.

9. Current WIP: "What Stork Brings," a Star Trek AOS Spirk fic about them adopting twins. It was recently featured on a reblog by the Tumblr user who came up with the original post that inspired it, so I've gotten a lot of kudos and comments on it and, internet and writing time willing, I'm considering doing it for WIPBB this year. So no updates until September, but it would be finished.

18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about? I wanna write with my personal fic gremlin @strangelock221b! We have a series she drops the occasional fic in (The Best Laid Plans), but that's mostly my baby. I don't know what we'd right about...maybe a new series with her OC Leland and Mary Bennet, or something in the Star Trek AOS verse or the MCU. The possibilities are endless!

19. How do you keep yourself motivated? Honestly? I've been super unmotivated since, like, May of last year, when I got COVID and developed long hauler symptoms. I will probably start working more once I have housing, since it's super hard for me to not write on a table/flat surface, and I'm stuck at the shelter without internet most of the time (plus right now I'm putting most of my energy into finding housing before we need to leave the shelter). But right now I have an Urge to be artistic, so I'm probably going to work on 2023 WIPBB art claims and fanmixes for a bit and work on "What Stork Brings" when I can fully charge my laptop and sit at the dining room table, which is stuff I can do with a minimal need to be online.

20. How many WIPs and story ideas do you have? I have between 65 - 70 published WIPs up on AO3, I think. I haven't checked in a while. I also have a HUGE folder of prompts that I've been trying to whittle down by giving them to Molly Hooper Appreciation week participants in our new December round, though @apromptadaykeepstheblockaway (which is my newest prompt blog) and just to friends of mine who want simple prompts that they can apply to any ship/fandom.

A Writer’s Ask Game

#answering asks! #about me #fanfiction #fanfic

[alexis-royce]

Reading your Advanced Ludology series was probably the most enjoyable experience I’ve ever had on AO3! I was wondering if you could share some of the works/media that inspired it or at least offer some recommendations that are similar to the series? I desperately need something so to fill the void those fics have left me with 😭

Oh thank you so much! I'm sorry to say that my biggest inspiration in writing it was just to get as deep to the heart of The Stanley Parable as I could, so if I did my job right, the best alternative is another run. Or playing The Beginner's Guide. Or more TSP fanworks. XD Check my ao3 bookmarks or my tumblr tag for some recommendations. If what you liked was specifically the unstoppable force/immovable object quality of the pairing, then you should try out my visual novels. My take on Stanley is 50% how I felt playing the game, and then 25% my OC Exit, and 25% how I write Lupin III. So far my VNs are all free, and two of them can be played on the browser page, so you might be able to just pull them up on a phone and play without downloading. Two of them are TERRIFICALLY unsafe for work, but you'll know which ones, they're clearly marked as such.

And uh I guess the last thing to say is that I actually really would like to write more? Remember Stanley's story about Lee and Diegesis? and The Narrator's whole "Well, something will escape, Stanley. Probably it will be us" bit at the end of the Epilogue? Well, I started to write that sequel, and actually programmed a playable rough draft with what I had so far:

But conventions haven't been doing so well, so I kind of had to stop working on Stanley Parable stuff and focus on things that actually make money. The game's unfinished, but there's over 8k words and a kind of steamy date scene, so I was about to put it up for my patrons to play. It's called NonPlatonic Forms. You get the joke?

Yeah, you get the joke.

Actually it's really intimidating to ask, but since I'd like to work on it anyway, I guess I might as well: Would anyone be interested in that game as a Patreon or Kofi goal? I like these two a lot, so I could really easily write and draw a few thousand words of that every month, posting it both as a webnovel (So that people who want to imagine everything can enjoy without illustrations) and an in-browser visual novel. Supporters would get first access, and maybe I could use some comments to see what happens next, like in Speedrun? Honestly, if it could take care of even one grocery trip a month, I'd roll up my sleeves, start typing, and post the WIP tomorrow.

#The Stanley Parable #Advanced Ludology #If anyone feels like they could help out it I would legit love to start writing these two again #I like them so much and Diegesis is super upset that he doesn't get to monologue at Lee all the time #Narrator Voice : Daddy didn't just need a new swimming pool. He needed to keep the gas on when winter brought the full Michigan fury. #I guess signal boost or share this if you know any Ludology readers who would be interested in reading the sequel #I spent the last sixteen years delivering weekly comics #And did 70 thousand words over the course of the summer #This is a commitment I'd love to make #picshuas

[gcrdy]

🎤 Get to know the mun | ACE

NAME: Ace

PRONOUNS: He/They. I'm just some fucking guy.

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: Discord is definitely preferred. I'm pretty much always online since I have it on my phone, and I'm generally pretty quick to respond if you message me there. I can do IMs here, but I'll definitely be slower since I don't get notifications for that on my phone.

MOST ACTIVE MUSE(S): My only current muses are Gordy here and Orin Scrivello DDS on my other blog (@scrivellc), and both of them are so loud in my brain right now. I do have some muses I don't currently have blogs for and some strewn about on other blogs...maybe I'll consolidate them one day onto a multimuse for my own sanity.

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS: I've been RPing since kind of forever? Or well, probably since I was 14? I started out on Proboards and Invisionfree back in the day, so I've been at this for 18 years at least. On tumblr I started out I think....college? My first blog on here was a Hunger Games OC (who I still love dearly even if I'm never on his blog anymore)

BEST EXPERIENCE: I mean, I haven't really had any AWFUL experiences, so I couldn't say there's been one thing I could call a best experience? Probably just the ongoing meeting of great people who I still occasionally subject to my weirdness. Thanks for thinking I'm a chill dude.

RP PET PEEVES: I'm not really sure...I guess when someone doesn't give you that much to work with? There honestly isn't all that much that bothers me.

FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT: It all just depends on what I'm in the mood for since I can probably make up some fun scenarios for all of those genres. I do have a soft spot for angst and smut because I'm a big boy who likes to make in character trouble :3c

PLOTS OR MEMES: Both are good actually! I love working from a prompt, but anyone who's messaged me knows I can get so deep into plotting. Honestly, sometimes I even enjoy doing long conversations about characters and dynamics more than RPing itself lol

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: I can be a longwinded person and make weird and long replies, but honestly my sweet spot is probably 2-3 paragraphs. So I guess that's kind of...medium length?

TIME TO WRITE: Usually in the early evening is best for me since that's when I get home from work and want to unwind a bit. Lately I've been a little on the tired side, but hopefully my mojo will be back soon now that I'm done dealing with some personal business.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): I'm not sure. You'd have to ask my friends lol I'm really bad at discerning how I'm perceived by other people. I do like to think I'm more intelligent than Gordy, but that's kind of a low bar. I love him dearly, but he's a dummy.

TAGGED BY: @ofwealthandtaste TAGGING: Whoever wants to do it

#(Florida Man News Bulletin) OOC

[more-than-a-princess]

mun meme

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍!

★  NAME:  Rae

★  PRONOUNS:  she/her.

★  BEST EXPERIENCE:  I'm...not actually sure what this means? Is this the best RP you've ever written, or where you've enjoyed writing the most? I have no clue, actually. But I tend to prefer 1x1 storylines in a chatroom or email-based format. Tumblr isn't my favorite place to write, honestly: but it's one of the most active, so I'm here.

★  PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: If we haven't written much/at all and you don't enjoy plotting or interacting OOC? Tumblr IMs are fine with me. If you like plotting and sharing a bunch of art/aesthetics/reddit threads that remind me of our muse(s)? Then discord is best. Bryn can attest to this, because I will spam her with memes from relevant muse/aesthetic tags.

★  MOST ACTIVE MUSE: I only keep up one blog right now, so it's Sonia. I don't have a lot of time or energy to write much at present, so juggling two blogs would be very hard. I miss writing Fujiko Mine, though.

★  EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS: I started roleplaying in 1999. My RP experience is old enough to have a mid-life crisis. I have probably been roleplaying longer, or just as long, as some of you have been alive and this knowledge sends me into...well, a mid-life crisis.

★  RP PET PEEVES:  

I've been roleplaying for a long time. I have quite a few, but I'll share some of them.

Muns who do not read rules, or a blog in general. Not just for the sake of boundaries, but just to even get an idea of activity, writing style, and so forth of the blog they're hoping to write with. Maybe it's because I've only written canon muses for the past 15 years or so, but when I've had blogs on tumblr or Livejournal, I've found that I'll get followed by other blogs interested purely in interacting with a canon muse without any regard for writing style, frequency, or other essential components that factor into good writing partner chemistry. Admittedly, this has happened plenty of times because someone wanted a romantic ship with whatever canon muse I happened to be writing without even asking if I wanted to ship my muse with theirs, or had any interest in writing romance at all. I feel like a lot of misunderstanding or bad communication would be helped if some people really looked at the accounts they're trying to interact with, beyond just wanting to write with that character.

Muns with canon muses who do not write out actual bios, or just link to a character's wiki page. Look, it seems like quite a double standard if we as a roleplaying community ask OC writers to produce a small novel describing their muses so canon writers have an idea of where they might fit in a canon or original verse and, in turn, canon writers give absolutely nothing in return to how they portray their muses. Anyone can do an internet search on a canon muse: I want to know how you see and portray your canon muse. Doubly so if you are a new blog with no IC content. Do not assume every mun is familiar with your canon muse, and do not assume that even if a mun is familiar with your muse, they'll interpret them the same way you do. Show your followers how you see them, show your followers how you write!

And the last pet peeve I'll share: muns who drop threads/blogs before interactions even get a chance to start. Doubly so if they clearly just wanted to write a romantic ship without any real chemistry or interactions. I don't mind when writing partners take time with replies: I actually prefer that to muns who reply in 24-72 hours, because it gives me some time to breathe in-between replies and brainstorm about what could happen next. And I don't mind at all when muns have other commitments, jobs, and hobbies that are in need of their attention: if we have interactions going and someone needs to step away for a little while (and it's communicated!), that's understandable.

What I don't like are muns, often with new blogs, who either abandon the blog entirely or constantly ask for new memes, asks, and interactions when we've got active threads going. It's one thing to not have muse, but when you're actively soliciting new threads without replying to ours and not communicating that you'd like to just drop threads?

Yeah. I just don't have time for that. That sort of writing habit works for some muns, but I enjoy long threads with complex storylines (some of which have taken years to write!). I like slow-burn romances, humor, drama, and the progression of life and situations between muses. I'm not fond of one-off interactions that never really form a plot, if that makes sense.

★   PLOTS OR MEMES: Yes! I think memes are great to start off but if my writing partner is wanting to build off initial interactions, then I think plotting is best. Especially if writing partners are looking to write romantic ships: I pretty much exclusively plot these at this point.

★  ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)?: Sonia and I both enjoy tea, chocolate, anime, and horror movies (she likes anime and horror movies more than I do). We also both have similar fashion styles (preppy/tailored/classic with traditionally feminine touches) and come from families with some Rich People Problems. Otherwise, she is the most cheerful glass-half-full sort of woman and I have predominantly resting bitch face and a degree in sarcasm. I also love historical fiction and royalty gossip and news far more than she does.

tagged by: @rolliesanimeclub

tagging: @quickdeaths, @dcviated, and you. I was this close to tagging all of my over-30 brethren in the RPC because you are seen and valid (and also if you're like me probably tired).

#more-than-a-princess musings #(I've been feeling pretty tired and off all day today) #(I blame the time spent in traffic picking up medications) #(But I'm going to try to hit and queue a few replies tonight)

[postal-ech]

Eyy this will probably be the first post I ever make on this site, but I've been reminded of something as of recent

Call it late night nostalgia, but Chet Falisek, a former writer of many of my childhood games posted a couple of videos on TF2 talking about how Meet your Match really changed TF2 for the worst, and I'll post it at the end of this thread here of course.

TF2 has always been my childhood game, probably my first game I ever played on an old shittly Lenovo Laptop my dad let me borrow as a kid, before I was ever able to access stuff like minecraft and gmod and all those other old games from back then but it's been with me for decades, moreso than even Undertale which I've only ever recently gotten back into thanks to Deltarune. I've met my best friend on there, as well as other friends that have come and gone, I've seen a lot of cool and wacky maps and servers - from my old home server that constantly hosted an honestly impressive recreation of Majora's Mask's Clock town and Termina Field, to Mario_Kart and the weird community servers like Slender Fortress, Saxton Hale and its sister game mode Freak Fortress (who the hell still remembers those TF2 OCs eh?) And the likes

But after Gun Mettle and Meet your Match, something definitely changed in TF2, and it was especially the case with Meet your Match

Nowadays community servers aren't so much the forefront of tf2, more so its valve's official casual servers, I don't even think competitive mode is even alive, and if it is I'm betting it gets the same number of players as current day Mann vs Machine, but I feel like a good chunk of that community was lost after Meet your Match that not a lot of people talk about (well, barring other important matters of course like the never ending bot crisis)

There was a magic to logging onto TF2 back in 2013, 2014 when you can just go to your favorite community server, log on and see the people you've been banting and shitposting with since the day you first got on that server, bunnyhop from one end of the map to the other while shooting at each other while micspamming YouTube poops and rolling the dice for weird and wacky effects.

That server is long gone now, less because of Meet your Match and more because people have moved on

But I suppose in this long winded ramble of a post here on Tumblr the message is:

There is value in a community, no matter what it is. It could be Undertale, TF2, could be that small GMod server you ran with a while back, could be that one romhacking group doing stuff with your favorite Nintendo game, but there is value to it.

Granted TF2 is uh, still edgy as all shit as it was before, it's just now got a wide mixture of people from far and wide, but even as the boomer I make myself out to be, there's still people making Source Filmmaker animations with these characters, there's still people playing the game the way they want to, and these people and more are still making memories on this nearly 2 decade old game.

Dont let anyone say otherwise to ya. There's a value in having a community for that game, for all the fan projects they've made, it will always have its ups and downs, definitely some downs you may never forget, but chances are you've met some of your best friends and gotten to see some cool shit along the way, and hopefully that sticks with you long enough to take inspiration from it in the long run.

Guess that's it for my first post here, bar reblogs, wonder where this will go next.

Here's that link, by the by. Go and give Chet a sub too, he brings in some very good insights on a lot of things if you ask me, at least when it comes to his time at Valve and his creative work with the games that were there

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #gmod #valve games #Nostalgia rambling #Keep those communities you love or loved close to your heart #Not all of them will be perfect but what ever is? #Youtube

[erabundus]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. ( REPOST DO NOT REBLOG ! )

NAME: avalon!

PRONOUNS: they  /  them  pronouns,  please!

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: tumblr  ims  are  always  open,  and  i’m  totally  cool  with  handing  out  my  discord  to  anyone  who  asks!

NAME OF MUSE(S): scaramouche,  scaramouche...  will  you  do  the  fandango...  i  also  have  a  few  miscellaneous  ocs  scattered  about,  as  well  as  a  giratina  for  all  of  your  eldritch  worm  needs  —  though  this  blog  is  by  far  the  center  of  my  attention.  genshin  has  a  death-grip  on  my  brain.  this  is  my  curse.

EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?):  oh  god.  off  the  top  of  my  head,  i  don’t  think  i’d  be  able  to  give  a  precise  number.  i  know  my  first  experience  with  roleplaying  in  general  was  when  i  was  super  young  —  probably  somewhere  in  the  10  -  12  range.  (  i  was  allowed  free  rein  on  the  internet;  my  parents  just  told  me  not  to  give  out  personal  information  and  set  me  loose.  horrifying.  )  i  found  a  random  pokemon  message  board  by  complete  chance,  and  they  had  a  section  for  roleplay.  i  wrote  a  pikachu  who  was  a  blatant  self-insert.  i  think  i  had  a  villain  arc?  wild. i’ve  been  writing  on  tumblr  since  around  2012,  though!

PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED: discord  and  tumblr!  and  the  aforementioned  childhood  message  board  experience.  i  generally  prefer  tumblr,  if  only  because  i  like  the  aesthetic  and  it’s  nice  having  everything  i’ve  written  somewhere  i  can  easily  look  back  on  it.  i  have  pages  of  headcanons  just  scattered  across  half  a  dozen  discord  servers.  i’m  still  trying  to  recover  them  all.

BEST EXPERIENCE:  i  have  a  handful  of  rp  servers  on  discord  with  some  close  friends  of  mine,  and  they’re  always  a  blast.  (  i  write  scaramouche  there,  too!  )

RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS: basically  the  general  dni  criteria  we’re  all  probably  familiar  with  at  this  point.  also,  please  trim  your  posts  and  wait  a  little  bit  before  asking  about  replies.  don’t  try  to  control  my  muse,  don’t  try  to  push  me  to  make  him  act  a  certain  way.  i  think  i’m  pretty  easygoing  otherwise.

FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: i  generally  don’t  write  smut,  but  i  absolutely  love  fluff  and  angst  equally.  i  think  the  best  rp  experiences  are  when  you  have  an  even  amount  of  both  to  balance  each  other  out.

PLOTS OR MEMES: honestly,  i’m  perfectly  fine  with  either!

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: i  like  a  little  mix  of  both!  i  feel  like  having  too  many  long  replies  to  get  to  can  feel  a  bit  daunting,  but  sometimes  i  just  get  really  into  what  i’m  writing  and  want  to  pop  off  with  a  novel.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: i  think  my  favorite  time  to  write  is  late  at  night?  it’s  easier  for  me  to  focus  when  it’s  quiet;  i  can  grab  some  tea  or  coffee  (  anything  with  caffeine  )  and  see  what  i  come  up  with.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S):  at  the  risk  of  making  myself  sound  like  a  clown,  i  think  in  SOME  ways?  specifically,  i  feel  like  scara  and  i  are  both  really  introverted  people  who  wilt  a  bit  when  we’re  forced  into  social  situations  we  don’t  want  to  be  in  —  though  he  tends  to  get  irritated,  whereas  i’m  just  hideously  awkward  and  nervous. also  i  am.  unfortunately.  just  as  short  as  he  is.  and  my  face  makes  people  mistake  me  for  someone  much  younger  than  i  actually  am.  i  live  in  misery.

tagged by: @detectiveheizou!!  thank  you  so  much!  ✨ tagging: @carmcndei @eonsadrft @momijiba @boughtastar @capravulpes @wcndcrcr &&  anyone  else  who  wants  to  fill  this  out!

#𝟎𝟎𝟏 : 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. ◟ ooc .◝

[dio-nysvs]

Hello, everyone. It’s emilia. How is everyone doing? This is probably unexpected, I’m kind of surprised at myself as well. Yes, this is a new blog. This has been something that I have been giving a lot of thought towards. I guess I am back, in a way. Under the read more is a lengthy and unclear mess but hopefully it’ll give some answers.

I originally left tumblr a year ago due to my mental health. And in a lot of ways, leaving helped me so much. Of course, there were other factors as to why my mental health was depleting, but tumblr was becoming toxic for me. And I don’t mean anything specifically was toxic, just tumblr in general. I had used it as a way to cope for so long. Finally, my brain had enough and was like, “bitch, it’s time to actually work on yourself.”

So I did. Or, at least, I tried. I have spent this past year working on myself, tackling every obstacle I faced, and experienced a lot of personal growth. I’m not 100% better. In fact, I feel like I only got 25% better. However, tumblr was never far from my mind. And it wasn’t like I was thinking about it 24/7, but what I thought about the most were all of you. People I had befriended over the course of almost ten years. I wanted to reach out to so many of you, but I felt so distant and disconnected. I felt like I no longer had the right to do so. That I no longer had the right to call you my friends. That I was just a bothersome person to everyone. Honestly, I still feel that way. 

But, after much thought, I decided to try and come back. I created a new blog as a fresh start. So, what exactly does that mean? Well, I’m not going to be back full time. In fact, I don’t think you could consider me back in the oc community. But I do miss oc content, I miss interacting with everyone, I miss seeing everyone’s creations, but I also didn’t want to throw myself back in fully if I wasn’t truly ready to do so. Therefore, I have created boundaries for myself. For now, I will not be following any oc creator’s blog. This is no way any hate towards any of you. It is not because I don’t want to follow you all, I do. It’s just, for now, this is the best decision for me. In place of that, I ask all of you who’s tag lists I was on back on my old blog (emiliachrstine), please add this new blog to your tag lists. Also, to any oc creators who comes across this post, and you don’t know who I am, feel free to add me to your tag lists as well! I don’t have a following on this new blog, but I am more than willing to be one more supporter for your creations. This is my way to control what I see on my dash. Due to this, I don’t expect any of you to follow me. I will follow all of you again. I don’t know when that will star to happen. I just need time. Please. That’s all I ask.

I hope that I don’t upset anyone with this decision. Again, I am not doing this to hurt anyone. This is the best way for me to slowly merge myself back into this familiar territory. My mental health is still very much on a seesaw and I still struggle with it a lot, but I’m confident enough with myself that if I set up these boundaries it should create a safe environment for me to use to ease myself back into the swing of things. There may be some who think this is stupid, or that I’m being stupid. I can’t control that. But I ask that everyone respect my decision, please. If you do have any issues with this, I encourage you to reach out to me and we can talk about it. However, I won’t be changing my mind on this decision. 

Also, I would like to say real quick. If we start talking again and I seem a little off or different, it’s not your fault. Like I said, I feel so incredibly distant from so many of you. It feels like I’m a stranger to you all. Like I’m an inconvenience. I’m even more awkward than I was before I left. But I promise that I am still the same Emilia, at least I hope I am. 

This was long and probably doesn’t make any sense. I’m sorry. If any of you need clarification, just let me know. I really hope this works out and I can’t wait to see everyone’s creations again. 

Tagging people/moots who’s tag lists I was on (i apologize if I forget anyone, my memory has gotten so bad y’all it’s sad): @alinastarkhov, @moirei, @kiara-carrera, @darknightfrombeyond, @luucypevensie, @suethor, @iron-parkr, @bubblegum-barbie, @genyazafin, @fleetwoodmcs

Again, I’m sorry if I missed anyone. But if i was on your tag list, please start tagging this new blog. And if I was never on your list, you can still add me. 

#anyways hello everyone

[ofvalor]

name: king! pronouns: she/her. preference of communication: discord, for sure. mutuals can reach me there! just ask for my info c: most active muse: i think brain wise, maybe mia ( @fellvespers ), but here, i think maybe max baker, tvdu muses bc i still have brainrot, and grishaverse muses. i haven't written the latter much yet but im v excited to, even tho im nervous dskjfsdf experience / how many years: lord, i've been rping in general since i was like 13, so a long long time now. on tumblr since about 2010-ish so i've been Around haha best experience: honestly probably my time in the POI fandom and meeting some of my best buds. thought legitimately, meeting new friends that just mesh well with me is always the best feeling, even if our fandoms and interests start to split off rp pet peeves: vague posting, probably? im not good at listing these sorts of things off the top of my head so that's the only thing coming to mind lmao fluff, angst, or smut: all three for sure have their place, but i tend to prefer angsty plots ! smut comes very rarely for me but when i write it, it has to have some sort of emotion or plot to it plots or memes: both! plotting helps me with threads and figuring out the story we want to tell, but challenging myself with memes and allowing myself to just tell the story that comes to me with permission from my writing partners is very fun. long or short replies: i prefer longer ones for sure, as shorter / one liners tend to make me lose interest v quickly best time to write: literally the middle of the night when everything is quiet are you like your muses: it honestly, truly, depends on the muse. my ocs all have bits and pieces of me. i'm also drawn to similar characterizations and quirks in canons, and my friends roast me for it all the time lmao. but i do think that for me there's always the smallest little tidbit that needs to be relatable

tagged by: @esotericdescent

tagging: @founderscouncil, @archrite , @floripire, + anyone else who sees this and hasn't been tagged and wants to! feel free to tag me :)

#( ooc. ) #( dash games. )

[thesoulofasurvivor]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. ( REPOST DO NOT REBLOG ! )

○    name: Brittany, or you can call me Britt.

○    pronouns: she/her.

○    preference of communication: just tumblr pms. I do have discord I have a few people on there, but right on tumblr is just better and easier lol

○     name of muse(s): on this blog, it's just Bailey

○    experience/how long (months/years?): I've been writing for a long ass time I just don't know how long lol, I want to say at least since 2015, but honestly, probably longer than that. I haven't been consistently roleplaying in all those years, lots of on and off, but yeah

○    platforms you’ve used: like a bunch of random roleplay websites, but ever since I joined tumblr I've never looked back

○    best experience: okay honestly I think right now is my best experience I mean, I've been on tumblr a long time but since coming back after a two year gap during lovely covid, everything has been just extra fantastic. I've met back up with people I used to write with, I've met so many amazing people and I just couldn't possibly feel more welcome and more excited to write with everyone. I just love it here lol, everybody here is what makes being here such a great experience

○    rp pet peeves / dealbreakers: I mean, this is actually kinda hard. It is a little frustrating when people follow me or follow me back and then never interact cause I get stupid happy when I see new followers. This rarely happens but it still did happen..... People who tell me they know nothing about my character and ask me to tell them about my muse, and their excuse is "well she's an oc," as if my blog isn't flooding with information about my muse. I guess not really roleplay specific but, it's definitely annoying when people complain about things other people in the rpc do when it's literally like, like it doesn't matter it's this innocent thing but for some reason they're treating it like it's a crime. Biggest dealbreaker is not respecting my boundaries and just being rude, or passively rude. Like seriously just be nice and compassionate and we good

○    fluff, angst, or smut: fluff and angst. I don't like smut, I don't care about smut, I just... have zero interest. And Bailey is 14 years old anyways so like, jfc no. Even with muses of age, no smut. Angst and fluff though yesyes

○    plots or memes: I am literally the absolute worst when it comes to plotting. My brain is just, it don't function that way? Me and plot ideas do not have a good relationship at all. That doesn't mean I won't plot at all, I will, if that is what people want. But I always tell people and I put it in my rules that I am literally so terrible and please don't get mad at me if I can't think of anything lol. So obviously I love just winging it, and I really love memes and continuing from memes cause they help give ideas!

○    long or short replies: I feel like I mostly do 3 or 4 paragraphs. I try to match what my partner writes. I think I can write more than that if I try, but I don't want to overwhelm anyone so I try matching what they write. It also depends on the reply because sometimes depending on what's going on I can write more or can't figure out how to write more

○    best time to write: I have no life whatsoever so my best time to write is literally just whenever the heck. All of the times.

○    are you like your muse(s): In some ways? I think we both enjoy the word fuck oop, but she's definitely more confident than I am and won't hesitate to punch you in the face with her knife whereas I am scared of my own shadow... But we both love stuffed animals. I have a huge collection of plushies and she's really attached to her stuffed bear.

tagged by: @demcnsinmymind tagging: @betaofthedead @wexarethewalkingxdead @wolfvirago @divxne-calcmity and if you see this and wanna do it, do it!

#thankyou for tagging meee 🥺 #** 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑢𝑛 ; 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑑

[ryathenaughtykitsune]

I posted 432 times in 2022

192 posts created (44%)

240 posts reblogged (56%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@shroudthecursedone

@deathsprofit

@avariciouss

@whiskeysrpcenter

@sir-crocodile-slut

I tagged 353 of my posts in 2022

Only 18% of my posts had no tags

#on target (ic) - 180 posts

#mun ramblings - 123 posts

#replies - 109 posts

#out of range (ooc) - 102 posts

#spotify - 60 posts

#asked and answered - 54 posts

#mun and muse - 48 posts

#muse music - 36 posts

#writing music - 35 posts

#whiskeysrpcenter - 21 posts

Longest Tag: 79 characters

#and there goes a wheezing fit and hot cocoa in my lungs because of that thought

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Just looking out at the water, thinking, brooding...wondering how to be a good and decent mother to such an innocent soul of a child. She would take on all sin to spare her kid just one more day of innocence. Cursing Teach silently for murdering those she held close. Its probably best the rest of the ship is asleep; she can't scream her rage, frustration, and all other dark feelings out at the water.

Her hunger to be there to see that bastard fall, to deal the murderous blow to that fat bastard. To deal retribution and exact closure. The faint scars on her wrists where the manacles the slavers placed on her all those years ago a reminder of the last price she dealt. She had exacted justice on them as well. Glad to become a pirate, under Shanks, to be looked upon as his daughter.

Would he still call her daughter if she implemented her plan? She had thought this darkness was gone but grief had widened the hole where it was no longer hidden by the boulder she had placed to keep it sealed.

No, after she had accomplished her goal, she would retire. Quietly. Hopefully to where the Marines couldn't track her down. Maybe she would take Whitebeard's offer of a home on one of his old islands. The last offer before....that happened. Tears spilled unbidden.

Just....One Step. One. Step. At. A. Time.... Then Peace?

7 notes - Posted January 19, 2022

#4

"Rya, I need help.." Inana only undid her jacket a bit to reveal the baby she held very carefully. "I have no idea how to care for a child.." // @highxrder

@highxrder

Rya looked at the goddess then peeked the baby in her jacket. He looked so small and full of future. Her heart pinged just a little. The baby reminded her of when Thaddeus was that small.

"Mind his head." She said softly. "May I?" She said motioning to hold the child. Maybe it was her motherly instincts but, that little face, she couldn't help but have such a soft look on her face.

7 notes - Posted March 22, 2022

#3

Watching Fruits basket and on the episode where Hatsuharu is arguing with the class president about his natural hair color which ended in the class president being dragged into the bathroom, a loud male scream, then the president coming out pale.

Kyo and yuki: he didn't

Hatsuharu with a smug grin

Kyo and yuki: *sweating* he did

I lost it to the point my roommate asked why I was giggling like a school girl.

10 notes - Posted March 23, 2022

#2

"I will fill a fucker up with so much lead~"

10 notes - Posted May 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Honestly. Thinking of shelving rya. Hanging up my hat. It's hard enough writing on tumblr as is. But with rumors and shit still ruminating about me or my muse. Getting blocked because shes not what they envision writing with, etc. Practically begging anyone to rp. I want to cry.

Rya is/was in herself a part of me. I've had her since Yu Yu Hakusho. Maybe since inuyasha. Writing her as she is now, I think I've come full circle.

Most people want a polite, sweet innocent character especially if it is an OC. OC characters are the hardest to write. Even more female. Harder still one damaged and still ready to kick ass, that has mental health issues.

Yes, she is a violent bitch. Yes, she is lustful. And God's yes, she's got a bit of a dark, twisted brood mode that I really don't like writing her in because it's too close to Doflamingo level madness for my liking.

But she is a morally gray character, trying to survive. Maybe it's time I go on hiatus again because trying to get people to write with is feeling too much like a job. This is supposed to be fun.

10 notes - Posted January 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[asweetprologue]

Nili’s Benchmark Geraskier Fic Rec List

hey yall! I officially hit 750 followers (a few days ago, I blew past the benchmark without even realizing!), which is... insane. I truly can’t believe that so many people over the last year have enjoyed my presence in this fandom enough to continue to follow my work. you guys are so great and I love you all so much, so I decided to put together a gift for you!

this is a list of my favorite geraskier fics from the fandom, which I have been putting together over the last year or so. a few of these are big in the fandom, but a lot of them are smaller pieces that I feel deserve more attention! I have provided ao3 and tumblr links where I could find them, as well as ratings and summaries. Most of these are canon!verse because I’m not personally a big fan of modern au’s, but there will be a few of those scattered throughout as well. I’ve divided the fics into two sections: oneshots and multichapter. See the list below the cut!

Being in this fandom truly has gotten me through the pandemic in a big way and I have made so many good friends while here. thank you all for validating my weird obsession with these characters and enabling me in these trying times <3

Oneshots

all that was good, all that was fair (all that was me is gone) | M | 7517 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions Of Violence | @xdandelionxbloomx

Somewhere, deep in a forest, a man drags himself from his grave by sheer power of will. He lies gasping on the forest floor and does not know who or what he is. The world is wide and wonderful, though, and there is so much to see.

Or, Jaskier is so stubborn that he literally comes back from the dead.

Another fascinating addition to the mythology of the Witcher. Jaskier’s slow rediscovery of himself is so well done here. One I’ve come back to again and again. 

As Fast As Love Can Go | T | 9628 | @bygodstillam

There are Faeries in the Wood.

That's what everyone said, at least, not that there was any solid proof. Jaskier had tried, more than once, to find some. Just a hint somewhere, of a real story, of real magic. But all anyone seemed to have was stories.

Jaskier was determined to find proof. He wasn't expecting to find a witcher in the process.

Fascinating fic with some really interesting worldbuilding, and a fresh new take on True Love’s Kiss. Also with some great art by @hehearse!

beautiful, he stirs up still things | T | 2575 | @alittlebitmaybe

“You’re not asking me to dance,” says Geralt.

Jaskier turns his palm up on his knee, offering it. “I think you’ll find I am.”

Just them dancing. This is a lovely sort of pre-relationship dynamic. So soft.

Dialogue Prompt | NR | 2932 | @reinvent-and-believe

Dialogue Prompt 48: “You make me want things I can’t have.” Wordless I-love-you 50: buying them a special treat when you go out shopping

Geralt gets Jaskier a gift, which prompts some confessions.

Even a small love | E | 22,272 | WARNING: Rape/Non-Con 

“Well,” Jaskier replies distractedly. “Lots of things want to strangle you.”

“You don’t.”

It isn’t a particularly troublesome accusation, or even necessarily an accusation at all.

This is one I read early on in the fandom, and it really stuck with me. The dynamic between Jaskier and Geralt is perfect, and the misunderstandings between them feel so realistic. The non-con is not extreme, but do mind the warnings. 

For the Space of a Heartbeat | T | 2021 | @drowningbydegrees

As it turns out, falling into bed with your very best friend who you are privately very much in love with isn't nearly so nerve wracking as waking up with them the morning after.

Just sweet, morning after discussions. I love to see them talking for once.

Greensleeves | T | 10,414 | @rebrandedbard

When Geralt crosses paths with Jaskier in the spring, the world is dressed in green. Quite literally. Everyone everywhere is wearing green, and it all comes down to a song Jaskier has written that, to his mortification, has become popular throughout the Continent. It's torment, being forced to preform the song over and over again and have his heart broken anew. But who is this Lady Greensleeves the people say Jaskier is so maddeningly, heartbrokenly in love with? At the baron's wedding party, Geralt is determined to find out.

This is one of my personal faves - there’s just something about Jaskier’s feelings being put on blast while Geralt remains totally oblivious that I think is so very them. And the resolution at the end is delightful.

I Don’t Wanna Fall (If It’s Not In Love) | E | 13,902 | @writinglizards

The first time it's out of desperation. Things get rapidly out of hand from there.

OR the building of a relationship through mutual wank sessions.

I love everything Ashley writes, but this one was the first fic I read by her and it still has a warm place in my heart. I also highly recommend It’s Been A While (makes me cry every time) and Tell Me Honestly

Like a Storm, Like a Flood | T | 1065 | @valdomarx

Jaskier is leaving for the winter, and Geralt can't bear the thought of not seeing him for months.

It was soooo hard to pick only one fic by George, but this one is so soft and sweet and yearning I just had to go with it. This is really just about Geralt finally hitting a breaking point and saying enough is enough.

one flesh | E | 10,763 | WARNING: MCD 

“Well, then. I’m a ghost.” Jaskier spread his arms grandly. Geralt held his gaze for a moment, then dropped his head and laughed. Jaskier put his hands on his hips. “Do fill me in on what’s so funny.” It wasn’t funny. It was just so - ridiculous, the things Geralt’s fucked up brain would invent. This had to be the last nail in the sanity coffin, it just had to be.

Or: Jaskier is a ghost, and Geralt is a mess.

Jaskier dies and comes back as a ghost to haunt Geralt into taking care of himself. Geralt does not handle this gracefully. This fic is so sad and heartbreaking, but the ending is so sweet.

to render it transparent | E | 23,901

Geralt wakes up warm, peaceful, and utterly content, which is how he knows that something is severely wrong.

Sigh. This fic. This is a time travel fic - Geralt ends up in the future living with Jaskier on the coast, just after the mountain. It’s slow and beautiful and extremely bittersweet, all about how we choose to love people despite how much it can hurt us.

With All the Continent A Stage | M | 4745 | @greyduckgreygoose

Later, Geralt learned that the play was four hours long. Four hours long. It didn’t feel like it. Most of it passed by in a fever dream of ominous music, dance-fighting and dryads in gossamer leaves, swinging from hoops attached to the ceiling. Yennefer made an appearance, played by Priscilla in a glittering negligee. She sang a song to Geralt about putting him “Under Her Spell”, and they had a sensual dance number which was made a little strange by a sickened Jaskier (played by Jaskier) coughing loudly in the background.

(Jaskier invites Geralt to a musical production inspired by his own life.)

Jaskier basically writes Geralt a love letter in the form of a four hour long play. Geralt is an idiot about it.

Multi-Chapter Fics

A Lover’s Lament | M | 25,364 | @somedrunkpirate

So,” Jaskier begins, as casually as he can, “you are telling me, that in theory, if I were to be in love with someone — anyone — that person could well be in terrible danger?”

Of all terrible and ridiculous things that have threatened Geralt’s safety, Jaskier’d never thought that loving him might be what will get him killed.

I honestly can’t count the number of times I’ve read this fic. The monster is so interesting, and the mythos of it fits seamlessly into the world of the Witcher in my mind. Jaskier being so afraid that his feelings are going to put Geralt at risk, clearly unable to see that Geralt is going through the exact same thing. I think about the scene with them looking at each other almost daily. 

A Pair of Gloves, the Scent of Roses | M | 24,134 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions of Violence

In the bustling days before the Midsummer festival, Geralt is sent into the countryside to deal with a monster - with Jaskier once again by his side. But the bard has not forgiven him, and while he's not hiding his contempt for the Witcher, he is recalcitrant about revealing his true motives for joining him. As the hunt turns into a desperate mission to save an innocent man and the monster is not what is seems to be, Geralt learns a few new things about his old friend and decides to finally attempt to mend the rift between them...

This is one of my favorite’s in the fandom - it feels so believable, the world is so rich and the oc’s are convincing and charming. Geralt and Jaskier feel so honest here, stumbling around each other but still drawn together. Beautiful beautiful beautiful

Bearing the will of the flower | NR | 11,449 

The way Jaskier sees it, his hobby of following a witcher around was always pretty likely to get him killed.

The fact that it's happening now because the witcher in question doesn't love him, he thinks as he coughs up crumpled flowers, hardly makes a difference.

My favorite hanahaki fic in the fandom. I’m such a sucker for these, and these two idiots being so incapable of talking about their feelings really makes them prime candidates. 

Food of Love | T | 22,488 | @wallatile-qvibbler

I brought a dead princess back to life through the power of song is the kind of thing that would have got an eyebrow raise even from the stone-faced Geralt of Rivia, so it's a good thing he and Geralt will probably never see each other again.

(or: the one where Jaskier channels magic through his songs, and it almost never goes as expected.)

This is a Jaskier and Renfri centric fic, which wasn’t something I knew I wanted until I read this. Jaskier is a bard which in this AU comes with magical powers, but it feels so well integrated into the universe that I wish it was just... how the Witcher is. Renfri is so good here, and even though Jaskier and Geralt barely even interact you can feel the tension and love between them. Cannot recommend highly enough.

friends and allies of the witcher | T | 10,312 | @theamazingbard

Yennefer crawls over to her newest cellmate. They’re curled up on their side. Breathing, but only just. She’s not sure what she’s hoping for when she turns them over. Still isn’t when she sees that it is indeed Jaskier.

“Shit."

Yennefer and Jaskier each suffer in more ways than one at the hands of Nilfgaard.

Yennefer and Jaskier get capture by Nilfgaard and tossed into a cell together. Exactly what I want out of season 2 honestly. Their interactions are gold.

I’d Be the Choiceless Hope | E | 45,188 | WARNING: Rape/Non-Con | @lesdemonium

As a baby, Jaskier was visited by a fae, who gifted Jaskier's mother with Jaskier's obedience. As Jaskier grew older, the "gift" became more of a curse.

You know I’m not gonna make a rec list without listing Zoe’s Ella Enchanted au. Need I say more?

Silver and Copper | M | 56,139 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions of Violence | @kaer-cuan

Geralt is just supposed to pass through the quiet Lettenhove area. He's not anticipating being begged by its people to help save their viscount from a curse that keeps him from daylight. Lord Jaskier, they call him, and he's likely dying.

As Geralt struggles to untangle the ugly web of history that has lead to the increasingly complicated curse, he finds himself spending more and more time with the strange young viscount and wondering just what he might have been before the curse, and who he might be after. But things are not always as they seem, and as the curse tightens its grip on Jaskier, Geralt is forced to face the fear of failing yet another person whose choices were stolen from them.

Or-

Jaskier is kept from becoming a bard. Geralt finds him anyway.

This is a fic that haunts me. It’s very scary in parts, and mind the tags - there are some very heavy themes here. But it’s beautiful and touching, and Jaskier feels very true to himself even though his origin is so different.

we could be married (and then we'd be happy) | E | 50,222 | @a-kind-of-merry-war

Jaskier reached into his pocket, fingers grasping around the little box. He pulled it out with what he hoped was a romantic flourish, flipping it open to reveal the simple gold band inside. “Geralt,” he said, confidently, cooly, like this wasn’t terrifying, “Will you marry me?”

Geralt and Jaskier fake marriage proposals to get free deserts and shit but it goes tits up when Vesemir catches them in the act. Not knowing how to fess up, they go along with it for a while, which is hell because they’re both pining like mad. As I said, I don’t love modern au’s, but it’s merry so of course this one had to end up on my list.

~

And that’s it! 20 fics for you, and hopefully you can all find one or two you haven’t read before. There are a lot of people and fics that I didn’t include in this list only because I was trying to not put a million down (which I could). I highly recommend anything by @wherethewordsare, @julek, @contemplativepancakes, @witcher-and-his-bard, and @inber, as well as those linked to fics above, and I’m sure there are others I forgot to mention. Yall have truly made being in this fandom worthwhile <3

#geraskier #geraskier fic recs #geralt of rivia #geralt #jaskier #witcher #fic recs #fic rec #I'm certain i missed a lot of good ones I've read over the years but I didn't want to risk making this super fucking long anyways #if you didn't see your name listed it isn't bc I don't adore you and your fics it's because i'm stupid <333

[kim-ruzek]

Kim-Ruzek turns one!!

Officially, a year ago today I made this account. I was being driven mad with Thoughts about cpd and burzek and although I thought I'd never come back to Tumblr, I did because I needed to share those Thoughts. I had an idea of how this was going to go; I thought that it was quite likely that I'd get it out my system then move on, and I was very apprehensive about this fandom, thinking there was a not small chance it would be a very toxic and not great place to be in.

Instead... This year has been one of my favourite fandom experiences ever, which really shows how incredible this fandom truly is depending I had a bit of a mental breakdown in October because of the show. My very first week here-- well, give or take, because I started posting at the end of march despite making the account today-- I remarked that this was one of the best fandoms to be in, that everyone was so kind and sweet and honestly that's remained true throughout this whole time.

I was gonna make a bigger deal out of my blogversary, but in typical Ree fashion, I got depressed again and honestly half the things I had planned I felt apathetic towards. BUT I knew I'd hate myself later if I didn't do something (because I really am happy I reached one year!) so I'm doing a very low-key thing. Just a couple of ask game guides and a bit of a fun drabble game-- which will be open to partake in all week!

But before I get into that, I'm gonna tag some of my favourite moots, the people who has made this year really fucking amazing and all who I love so so much. I'll only be naming a few because otherwise I'll forget people, and honestly I could name literally everyone because I love every single one of you;

@fighterkimburgess @adamruz @sylvies-chen @everythingaddictxx @sylviebrettsey @resanoona @piscesgirl87

Now for my celebration activities:

Ask Me Anything: literally just send me any thought, opinion, anything you want to share with me (or the world). It can be something about yourself, not just fandom related!

True or False: I really enjoyed doing this the other day so if anyone wants to send me some statements again I'd love that

Ask about my opinion on anything

Send me an unpopular opinion 👀

Send me a writing prompt: this can be something you've made up yourself, or from the writing prompt lists I'll reblog after this post (Tumblr is not letting me link in site links rn ugh). For any of my oc ships, canon or not, or wlw!!!

And finally: I'm gonna list my fic titles (of unposted/unwritten fics) and if you send me one of them, I'll write a lil scene from it. You can choose if you want it from before the fic is set, during or after, but if you don't specify I can just decide on my own!!! A few of these titles will just be the initials since it'll be ~spoilery~ and I just wanna tease them! Plus some don't have official titles, so this is just what they're called in my notebook planning or my writing documents! (Which I'll put under the cut cos this is getting long!)

Blood Types

FS!K

Falling in love backwards

Makayla gets a bunny

The waves to home

Abusive Sean Roman

Exes

Sylvie x Kim

Kim x Sarah

Co parenting au

WS!A

S4 fix-it

Finding our way again (coming home)

Upgess au (S5)

Starting Over

I have so much ideas that this isn't even the half of it, but they're my ones I'm most excited for/written recently! But if you wanna wildcard me, just send in wildcard (and if you want it from before, during or after) and I'll look at some of my other fics and decide (...and by that I mean probably give a choice of three to Cíara and tell them to choose one sxgvjnk).

S9 fix-it

Undercover Adam

Fractured

I hope you all celebrate my blog turning one with me, and just to say again: all my activities, ask game or fic game, can be sent to me all week (Tuesday - Tuesday)!

#reese rambles #kim ruzek turns one!! #this was meant to post at 7:30 but my queue disappointed me. and i went to shower so i didn't notice lol #but it was meant to post then bc that's closer to the time of it being actually 12 months since! #i so so hope this doesn't flop #please come talk to me!!! #i love you all so much #burzek #chicago pd #chicago fire #<- bc of the fic games

[annelapin]

Gringo boy

Chapter 1

( A. Arler x Black Brazilian! Reader)

Summary: a girl born and raised in rio de janeiro gets a scholarship to a private high school. There she meets Armin, a boy just arrived from Germany who is trying to adapt little by little to his new reality. (y/n is a bit OC, since I gave all her family members a name.)

Content warnings: bad language, prejudice, xenophobia (a little), things involving depression. not recommended for an audience under 17

word count: 8k

Note: hey guys, how are you? well, this is the first time I've posted anything other than drawings on Tumblr (even though I've been here since I was 13). Honestly, I was and still am a little unsure about publishing this story here. as it is a story told in first person in a very different cultural context than most people who normally read this type of story.

there is also the fact that English is not my first language.

there is also the fact that English is not my first language. I'm doing my best and I know it's not going to come out perfect, so I ask you to be understanding. if you like it, I can translate the other chapters (so far there are 3 published). There's also something I'd like to comment on but I don't know how. Y/N in this story is a black girl, but at the same time, she and most of the characters are Latino, and I don't know what to call that because I don't think it's a very common concept for American readers. however, here in South America, we have black people, and especially in Brazil, some cultural characteristics of each group are quite separate, but in the end we are all Latinos and this can be a little confusing at first, but I believe that with time you will understanding this issue better.

The day started like just another day in February.

The sun hadn't even risen when I woke up. The cicadas were still singing on the land next door, just like the speakers at Seu Jorge's bar that is in front of our house, which emitted the auto and almost deafening sound of the pagoda night, which extended into dawn and almost turned into day.

Even though I moved to this street a short time ago, such things have already become familiar to me. The truth was that this was a universal theme, present in every place I've ever lived, and will probably be present in every next one I'll live.

As well as the familiar sound of my private alarm clock, an offer from my guardians, who couldn't wake up silently and harmoniously like any other normal family.

It was always a rush, my mother fighting my aunt for something neither of them did, but neither of them would take any responsibility.

Even though these are a recurring situation, something in me never got used to it.

And that something made me always wake up in a bad mood.

Not the kind of bad temper that would be resolved with a cup of coffee, or a hot bath. It was the kind of bad mood that could only be resolved with music.

Some time ago, a teacher taught me that the music we listen to directly influences our state of mind.

If we listen to sad songs, we are sad. If we listen to religious music, we feel in communion with God. If we listen to lively and upbeat music, we are excited and more willing.

And that's why my body woke up begging for some Japanese pop music. It might not be my favorite style, but it helped a lot in those times when I needed to induce some kind of positive and motivating feeling.

This would be my first day of school, at a new school, with new people, in a different place.

And I promised myself to be a different person this time, for who knows, to finally live something different.

Maybe make friends, go out for a walk, stay up late on a phone call or just go out for ice cream at the mall. No big deal, just something anyone my age is more than familiar with.

But if I wanted any of those wishes to come true, I would have to take some initiative. And a good first step would be to get dressed as soon as possible. Since I spent considerable time sitting on the edge of the bed looking at the dark and deep emptiness in the corner of my room, waking up slowly and slowly.

So I got up, went to the bathroom and took a quick shower. When I left, I did my skincare routine and mustered up all the courage I had left to start putting on makeup. Trying to find the balance between having makeup on and creating makeup that doesn't make me look too makeup for a school day.

All this while wondering if my foundation would last a whole day in the Carioca summer, when the heat is almost always unbearable for the unaccustomed.

It was unnerving how some uneasy thoughts rumbled through my mind, from whether my uniform made me look like a church prayer circle lady, or whether the hairstyle I did with my braids flattered my face, to even what color stockings I should wear.

Worries that might be considered futile by an outsider, but which at the time plagued me to the point that in the end I ended up choosing anything and leaving the bathroom.

He was wearing a button-down shirt with the crest embroidered on the chest and beige tailored uniform pants. They were a little over-sized, but it was a conscious and purposeful choice.

What would be the reason? None, it just looked better on me.

The clothes still smelled like new, which I didn't know if it belonged in the store or was the fabric's own scent. Much less whether it was a good smell or not, just the standard new school uniform smell.

Honestly, they were futile thoughts, I know. But they were the kind of thoughts you can't shake, even if you really want to.

The only things I was sure of at that moment was that beige was not my color, and that the skirt, which was also a uniform option, devalued my body a lot.

Leaving the bathroom, I went straight to the kitchen for breakfast.

While I was drinking a glass of cold chocolate milk out of sheer laziness to heat the milk, my aunt came into the kitchen, already dressed for her work.

– Good morning, Y/N. Are you excited for your first day? – She went straight to the fridge to get her lunch box, which had been prepared the night before.

–I think – In fact, my desire to experience something new was proportional to my fear of the unknown. If it hadn't been such an important occasion, I don't think I would have gotten out of bed today.

– Look, I know your mom scared the shit out of you, but it's not as bad as it sounds – She tried to flash me an encouraging smile as she sipped her freshly brewed coffee. – There is a boy who was freshman in last year, he managed to socialize very well, despite being the only student in the class who didn't know anyone. You can try to talk to him, I think his name is Marcos, he's part of student council.

I wasn't able to answer those words properly, so I just mumbled some incomprehensible sound as I finished drinking the milk.

– Another thing, your mother is pissed today. Try to dress up a little before you show up in the room, you know how she is. If you go 'anyway' to class today, she'll talk about it until graduation.

– But I'm already dressed.

– I know, but we still have about fifteen minutes. I know you don't like it, but she cares a lot about what people think of you, so she'll only let you out if you're really pretty by her standards. – I know my mom and I know she'd make a fuss if I even tried. leave the house without my earrings.

And once again, I was in the bedroom, rummaging through my drawers desperate for any pair of earrings. And if I was lucky, a choker too.

Luckily, I found some accessories that matched. Soon after, I put on my new all-star, which my aunt had given me, took my backpack and went to the living room.

– Juliana, you don't understand, that woman is clueless, she keeps gossiping about everyone. Can you believe she told Doctor Luiz that I sleep in the middle of shifts? The worst thing is that they believe it, because the disgusting is sinic as fuck. She doesn't even feel remorse – My mom was practically lying on the couch, still wearing her work uniform. She looked exhausted, as usual, but somehow she still had the energy to complain.

– I take my job seriously, and all I don't want is confusion there. But let me wake up in a bad mood to see if I don't put that disgusting woman in her place... Juliana, are you paying attention?

– Of course. Scratches her car, punctures her tires, whatever – She wasn't being serious, but my aunt clearly didn't care about my mom's complaints. Even why, nothing we said about it was worth anything, as she always ignored it and complained about the same thing again the next day.

– I'll hit her face, that's right – She was also bluffing. Never in her life would she stoop so low, not even to prove her right.

As soon as she noticed my presence, her gaze darted in my direction. – Hey, why are you wearing pants?

-I didn't want to take the subway wearing a skirt, I don't feel well.- Which wasn't a lie, even if it wasn't the main reason.

-No, you don't leave this house looking like a man. I'm sure it was your internet friends who put this idea in your head.

-For God's sake, you're the one who bought the pants for the girl. Are you really going to fight her for wearing something you bought?

-You are protecting this girl a lot, Juliana. It's hot as hell outside and you want her to get out of her pants?

-The school's air conditioning is very powerful, it won't get hot. Besides, if she doesn't feel comfortable in a skirt, we can't force it.– Even with my aunt's pleading, my mother kept her naturally judgmental gaze on me, that gaze that could even suck your soul out of your body.

-So Y/N, how's it going?

– I... I really liked how the pants were on me.

– Ok, it's your choice, I can't interfere – She took a little pause and continued. – But you know, ugly like that no one will want to talk to you. Everyone's going to think you're a slum dweller who doesn't want anything to do with life, how do you think about making friends like that?

– For God's sake, Fabiana. Are you by any chance an idiot?

– What it was? Am I lying?

– Alright, I change – And once again, I was in the room, changing clothes and considering if this was really all worth it.a

When I was done, my mother looked infinitely happier. Saying how beautiful I looked, nothing too different from your standard everyday hypocrisy. But she also did her standard mother speech, saying she loves me, and saying it's for us to take care of ourselves.

Honestly, sometimes I don't know how to deal with this sudden change in behavior.

The drive to school was considerably smooth, the bus was packed, but that was to be expected.

My aunt only had three more months of internship at that school, so she was teaching me all the way carefully, for the day she wasn't there to take me anymore.

I wanted to believe it wasn't so bad to get out of the skirt. But honestly, if I had the power of choice, I would never go out like this again in my life.

Unconsciously, I was constantly checking to see if she had gotten up, or if someone was looking too much.

I was beautiful, but I didn't have a moment's peace.

I could barely pay attention to the things going on around me, but I forced myself to memorize the number of the next bus we took after arriving at the subway station.

In all, there were three drives. A van, a subway and a bus. All together, it took about an hour and a half just to get to school.

Walking through this neighborhood felt so…different.

It was fully wooded, so most of the buildings were very inconspicuous.

In fact, I've walked this street at least three times in my life, and I never realized there was a school here until the day I took the test.

It was quiet, peaceful, not much movement and just a few meters from the beach.

For a second, I managed to forget I was going to class, until my aunt stopped in front of the administrative entrance and grabbed my wrist.

– How are you feeling? – Her look seemed a little worried, and with good reason. Sometimes her attention strayed from me, as several sophomores and juniors stopped to greet her. But I knew she was paying attention.

– I don't know if I want to go in.

– Y/N, we came here. Do you really want to go home?

– No, I don't want to go back, it will be worse. Just... I don't want everything to be the same. What if I can't talk to them and everyone starts thinking I'm weird? Oh everyone will Oi start ignoring me and well... I don't know if I can take three more years of this.

– Well, if you want, I can ask Marco to keep you company.

– For God's sake, no. Wait, wasn't his name Marcos?

– Marco, Marcos. It's all kind of similar – She shrugged her shoulders. – You can use that as encouragement, I know you're too proud to accept help from others. So do your best not to interfere.

– Okay – There wasn't much I could say.

– Look, you can go to the secretary. If they piss you off, I can make you a matte tea in the staff room. Just please don't punch anyone, they have lawyers – And it was the first time that day that I laughed at something. – Did you see? If you loosen up a little, I'm sure they'll like you.

– Thank you for that... But I think it's better to go there, there are people watching.

– Now you're going to be ashamed of the family? I held you when you were a baby, be more – Her voice passed a false indignation. – But it's ok, go there, Nega. I love you and have a good day.

She hugged me and gave me a push towards the gate. As I was about to walk through the door, I could hear her screaming in the background things like "go, beauty", "you can do it!", "I love you". All in revenge for me asking her not to be clingy in front of the students.

Now there were more people looking, and some people were laughing. And even though I was freaking out a little, this situation felt funny as fuck.

This was the kind of thing that warmed my heart.

Entering the large main door, you found yourself in the entrance hall.

An exactly wide and spacious hallway, with a fork at the end that led to two separate areas of the school.

On the left, there was a large mural with one of the illustrations from the books by Karl Fritz, co-founder of the school.

But specifically the first book of his literary universe, titled as Gründungsgöttin in the original publication in German.

Now to admit as I do that I know about this... It's something I'm a little ashamed to admit.

To the right, the wall was occupied by a giant trophy case, which ran almost to the end of the hall. There were several records of sports and academic championships from the past, as well as some photos of sports teams over the years.

It was a really beautiful thing to see.

At the end of the hall, on the wall that divided the fork, there was a large bulletin board with the list of students for each class.

As there weren't so many people crowded there, I decided to take a look, even though my aunt had already told me which class I would be in.

"Class 1-B: 1-Annie Leonhardt, 2-Armin Arlert, 3-Bertolt Hoover, 4-Connie Springler, 5-Eren Yeager [...]"

Don't have any João Pedro? No Maria Eduarda?

I had to double check to make sure I hadn't magically lost my reading ability and was making up names.

The first names were even quiet. Annie was a rather common name, perhaps Bertolt was a tribute to Bertolt Brecht. But Mikasa? Floch? I thought our country had laws that prevented people from putting names that would make fun of their children.

But there was one name in particular that caught my attention. It sounded good, had an Amin Khader-like vibe.

– Connie we're in the same class! – A brown haired girl practically screamed next to me, totally snapping me out of my trance and causing me to have a mini heart attack.

– No way! So the principal was lying when she said was going to send a letter here warning us that we weren't supposed to be in the same class! – Behind her was a brown and bald boy, visibly as agitated as she was.

– Sasha, see if my name is on the list too?- Another boy started to approach, so I finally realized that I was probably getting in the way and took a few steps back.

Looking around, I saw many other common back-to-school scenes. Students hugging each other, the dramatic girls crying when they meet again, the boys giving their friends friendly slaps as a greeting, the little groups screaming with joy or lamenting the organization of the classrooms. All this while the aging inspector tried to control the more agitated students.

– Stop being lazy Jean, just look – The boy rolled his eyes and approached the list –Shit, am I really going to have to spend another year with you?

–We love you too, Jean-boy. But look on the bright side, Mikasa will too.- Apparently they were friends with the girl with the strange name.

– Is Mikasa in the class?!- and once again he fixed his eyes on the sheet, but soon his visible joy was replaced by an expression of disgust – Eren is too... And his weird friend too.

– What are you talking about me, asshole? Want to fight in front of the school on the first day? – Now, a tanned boy with green eyes was walking towards us, being dragged by the wrist by an Asian e-girl.

When closer to the time of the bell, the more crowded this room was.

He's saying that that boy you mentioned in the group these days is in our room.

– What do you mean Armin is in our class?! – And once again someone ran to this painting, but almost knocking this Jean boy down during the process. – Shit, is his name. But he wasn't supposed to be in our class, he doesn't know Portuguese well. He had to go to German class.

– Zeke said they ended up with the German class, the demand was very low – Said the girl who was also trying to see the list, giving a shy smile when she finally got it. – He's smart, I'm sure he can handle it.

I know I shouldn't be listening to other people's conversations, but my gossip side spoke louder at these times.

As soon as the bell rang, some teachers instructed us to follow the left side of the fork towards the gym.

I ended up not being able to hear the end of the conversation, as they decided to wait a little longer for this friend.

In high school, we first-year students would sit down and listen to a short talk about the school's history.

Much of it was about Karl Fritz, from his birth, academic career and until his arrival in Brazil.

They also explained why the school was called Santa Maria.

Contrary to what some may think, this is not a Catholic school. And that name was a direct reference to this guy's books.

It wasn't until after a great summary of the guy's life biography that they finally focused on us explaining about our academic part.

They started by talking about the institution's commitment to the education of students, about the exhausting routine that we would have from today, in addition to how the teachers will be there to offer all the support we need.

For me, this is standard school speech. Something that every principal pays lip service to just to sound nice to parents and students interested in studying.

Maybe I was forcing myself to be skeptical, but when I realized it, I was totally absorbed by the narrative they artificially created.

Especially when they talked about extracurricular activities.

Just imagining being able to do artistic activities outside of class time without restrictions made me more than passionate.

From theater, sports, even things involving technology. It felt so… surreal. But apparently these are also things that were part of the study plan developed by him.

They also showed a lot of freedom of thought and political expression, talking about the social actions that the students of the student council practiced, and about the debate teams.

Right after all that proud speech, we were instructed to sort the classrooms into rows and wait for one of our seniors to come along to take us on a short tour of the school.

This school was significantly small, so there were only two freshman-year classes with not much more than twenty people in each.

Honestly, that was a little weird to see. Two class here would barely make a class in my old schools.

And even though as a good student I seem to despise the mess that is a conventional classroom, the truth is that these are the things that make school interesting.

A few seconds later, a boy positioned himself in front of our line. He was tall, with neat black hair and freckles that covered his entire face. He was also the only student who wore his uniform shirt buttoned up to his collar.

– Good morning people! How are you?- He said with a lot of enthusiasm, but no one was really paying attention and they just kept talking. – My name is Marco, I'm vice president of the student council – As I realized that this was the boy my aunt was talking about, a boy from the back of the row gave a shout, which interrupted my reasoning and Marco's speech.

-Guys, speak lower please! The boy is trying to talk.- So the entire row was silent. Some out of politeness, others out of indignation at the way the boy spoke. But everyone was silent, and that was what mattered.

- Thank you...- He gestured for the boy to introduce himself, and the message was captured. His name was apparently Reiner. I just gave up trying to understand. – Thank you Reiner! As I was saying, my name is Marco, I'm vice president of the guild and I'm going to introduce the school to you today.

Then he made a gesture and began to lead us out of the gym, down a different path than the one we'd entered.

As soon as we walked through the door, we found ourselves in a hallway that led straight to a kind of built-in patio with the cafeteria.

There were several benches and tables around a large tree that was right in the center of the outdoor area.

And in the cafeteria area, they had another mural, only this time inspired by the book Kampf zwischen Himmel und Erde, and it was just as beautiful as the one at the main entrance.

The tables were set traditionally, not unlike my old school. Of course, apart from the visible absence of the penises that the students liked to draw on the tables and chairs.

The canteen was very discreet, and had a large marble counter and a small partition where people took their order and paid for their snacks.

Overall, it was a very cozy and clean environment.

The school consisted of a three-story rectangular building.

The entrance hall served as a good divider.

To the right were all the traditional classrooms, from the first to the last floor.

To the left was the administrative area, where I could even see my aunt working, which made for a slightly strange feeling. Upstairs we had the 'special activities' rooms, the one above was the science lab, dance room, computer room, and other things.

And it was precisely in this part of the school that we had our first class.

– So guys, here we end our tour. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it, and we will probably see each other again in the next few weeks thanks to the guild elections.- He still had that positive energy from the beginning of the tour, and I was still praying silently that my aunt hadn't told him about me. – If anyone is interested in being part of the guild, they can talk to me at halftime. I always sit with the same people in the outside area, in a circle that always plays MPB, it's not hard to find. If I'm not there, just ask the number of 'Marco who plays guitar' for the people they pass.

Shortly after he left, we entered the classroom. Once I had a general look around the room, I had to control as best I could my childish instincts of wanting to get out and mess with everything.

It was a large, dimly lit room that looked more like a cartoon mad scientist's laboratory.

Shelves with animals in glass, cylinders, test tubes, 3D cell sculpture, life-size skeleton, and what was most shocking, an extremely realistic sarue plush, were just some of the items that adorned the shelves and walls of this room. .

There was even a certain feeling of nostalgia, especially for students who had the chance to visit the national museum once in their lives.

And sitting right on top of the teacher's desk, with the stuffed armadillo in her arms, was a middle-aged white people.

They hair was brown and tied in a messy bun, they wore a white coat with the school crest and glasses. They was also dangling his feathers on the table like a bored child.

– You have no idea how much I love these beginnings of the year. There are so many new faces, so many minds waiting to absorb knowledge – They started, with a little scary mood for a teacher at nine thirty in the morning. – Probably your parents, uncles, brothers, parrots put a lot of fear in you about teaching average. Or they probably said you should make the most of it because the real challenges start in college. Which is no lie, for some high school is by far the best thing ever.

Even though his posture seemed more serious now, them tone of voice was still frantic, the kind you have to stop and pay attention to understand. clearly. – It was in high school that I made friendships that I keep to this day, I fell in love for the first time. And of course, it wasn't my ex-husband, who, by the way, I also met in high school. But for biology – Everyone let out a half-nasal laugh and they smiled back, as if his goal had been accomplished.

Then they jumped up from the table and positioned herself next to the shelf full of glasses and took one at the very bottom of the shelf, which had a snake inside –This is Juliet, a water snake. I found her on a school trip a good twenty years ago when I was about your age – So, They passed Juliet from table to table so that everyone had the opportunity to see her – Everyone from my class said I couldn't take a dead snake home, that it was disgusting, that I should go to the hospital or something. But then our biology teacher, Marcos Antônio, came and said that I could take the snake. Today I see that he just wanted to end the riot we were making, however, that gesture made my day! And even though that day no one chose to come back sitting next to me on the bus, I came back with Juju, and unlike many of those people, she is still a part of my life.

After the snake had been duly admired by all the students, and had left at least a year or two mildly upset, it was carefully put away in the same place from which it had been taken.

– And I know that no one asked, but I was the one who put her inside the glass without anyone's help – His voice passed a strong feeling of pride. – But the point I would like to make is, if you dedicate yourself to the classes, even if you think that everything you learn here is useless. I also thought it was useless, until I realized how much I liked the subject. And it was very frustrating to realize how much cool content I missed that could have helped me in college, or simply to accumulate knowledge.

– I would like during this first class, all of you to introduce yourselves. Okay so many of you studied elementary together, but others didn't, and activities like this are really good for you to get to know each other. It doesn't have to be anything personal, just the basics or what you feel your colleagues should know about you – They stopped swinging his legs and looked at us carefully, waiting for some living soul to manifest.

But it didn't.

–Why all this shyness people? I don't bite, you can talk!– No answer again.

-Okay, I see you guys are too shy for that. Well, we'll have to do it the traditional way. Tanned kid who's been talking in the back row since this class started, introduces himself. Out loud, please.- They said with a more serious tone and a hard look.

When I looked back, I saw the same stall boy from earlier today.

– Hey guys, are you all good? My name is Eren, I live close by, I really like to hang out, I love football and music.

– Do not play! Do you also like football? My dad and brother go to every game. - They returned to his excited state from the beginning of the class and apparently Eren let himself be infected by that energy.

With that, the students were little by little letting go more to talk about themselves.

I've heard everything from the traditional "I like to watch shows and sleep" speech to people who breed carrier pigeons.

Honestly, they didn't look all that different from my old classmates.

Alright, the chaotic anergy was considerably less. However, they still looked like teenagers with great destructive potential.

It was also cool to see the names I saw on the class list get a face, many were completely different from the idealization I created in my mind.

And I was silently waiting for the person I liked the name to introduce himself. I thought he would introduce himself to Eren, since they apparently knew each other, but that's not what happened.

The performances continued, and eventually I had to introduce myself too, and it didn't go as well as I had hoped.

I told about my likes, my hobbies, and like the others, I told them about where I lived and I could hear some students behind me laughing softly and muttering something to each other.

I tried to ignore it, but it was inevitable, this situation ended up lowering my energy.

Mr. Hanji noticed the scene and quickly cast a death glare in the direction of the subjects, who silenced them instantly. – Damn, Bonsucesso is far away, isn't it? I lived there near Tomaz Coelho when I married my ex-husband. It's been a good fifteen or sixteen years now. That place brings me good memories, ok not so many – And they started to speak, but the damage was already done. – This distance is not for everyone, I don't know if I would have the same courage you have at your age. Good luck!

Before I could answer anything, she amended the matter about her ex-husband and started to tell us about their life in Tomaz Coelho.

I even thought about saying something, but who doesn't like to hear about teachers' divorce? This is better than soap opera.

Suddenly a soft knock can be heard coming from the side of the room door. And with that, the teacher composed herself completely and walked calmly to meet whoever was there.

– The class started almost forty minutes ago, where were you? – His tone was once again serious and authoritative, and we couldn't understand what or who was talking to They. – No no, you don't deliver the medical certificate to me, you leave it at the secretary's office. You can sit down and then your classmates will tell you what you missed.

Hange took a few steps back, opening the door fully, allowing us to see the student who was entering the room, discreetly looking for a place to sit.

At first glance, I thought it was a girl, but the closer the figure got, I realized it was just a hairy boy. Wearing that haircut that moms with straight blonde haired kids love to do on their kids.

And indeed, he was a straight-haired blond boy. Really blond, blonder than anyone he'd ever seen in his life.

His skin was equally pale, he had big blue eyes and an uncomfortable expression on his face.

But of all, definitely what caught my attention the most about his apparently was the fact that he was wearing slacks and a long-sleeved shirt under his school shirt.

My aunt was right, the air conditioning here was strong. Strong enough that I was freezing cold in the skirt I was wearing. However, I'm not sure it was strong enough to keep him from getting hot. So really, I was intrigued.

As I thought about it, he simply sat down next to me, but of course, after noticing that the first two rows were completely full.

He also jumped a chair from the couple who were even more clingy now, so we ended up getting really close.

- Hi what's your name...? - He was looking into my eyes, but it seemed like a big effort for him. His tone of voice was shy, with a hint of shame and too low to understand without stopping everything you're doing to pay attention. He also had a strong accent, which even though he was trying his best to disguise it, was still more than noticeable.

- Y/N, what about yours? - I tried to convey as much confidence and sympathy as possible with those few words, since he was the first person that day to talk to me.

- My name is Armin, Armin Arlert.- 'So that was the boy with the cute name? Interesting.' - I was at the doctor earlier today and missed the first few classes. Did something important happen?

– Not much, unless of course you like start-of-the-year ceremonies and school tours – It was supposed to be a joke, but he didn't laugh. And I just tried to go along as if nothing had happened – Well, the only thing you really missed was the schedule of classes they handed out to us when we were downstairs. If you want, you can take a picture of mine – I said as I opened my folder inside the backpack to take the sheet and put it on the table.

Armin took his cell phone from his pocket and took a quick photo of the sheet while muttering a "thank you" under his breath.

I also offered to redo Marco's tour of the school with us, but he insisted he didn't have to, and I didn't want to force it.

The truth is that I felt a strong urge to befriend this boy. He looked nice, he wore anime pins and a kitty keyring in his bag, plus of course the Evangelion background on his cell phone. Judging by those little things and the way he acted, he looked like a shy geek. And I was a shy geek too, kind of seemed coherent to people, who knows, sit together at recess and talk.

- But what about you, Blondie sitting next to Y/N. You just need to introduce yourself. Reluctantly, he rose from his chair and took a deep breath.

- My name is Armin Arlert, I didn't study with anyone here before and that's it.

– You don't want to say anything else, do you? Like where do you live, what do you like to do, where does that accent come from, just things you feel your peers should- wait, did you say Arlert?

– Ah yes... I live in Itanhangá, west side, I like to read, and I have an accent because I haven't lived in Brazil for a long time. And yes, my last name is Arlert – And once again something caught the attention of a considerable part of the class.

- Wait, wait, it's a lot of information at once - as if it wasn't exactly what they asked for - Where did you come from?

- Germany.

- Were you raised there or were you born there?

- Born and raised there.

- Cool, do you know a guy named Joseph Arlert? It's just that you have such a similar surname, he taught me at UFRJ and such.

- Look, there's a good chance you're talking about my grandfather.

– OH FUC- sorry for the wording, kids – They gave a light cough and composed herself. – How is he? I haven't seen him for a long time, he stopped teaching for a while and we ended up losing contact. Damn I can't believe it, I liked his classes so much, he's definitely the kind of teacher that makes the class rewarding to watch, isn't he?

It didn't last long, as she started talking frantically, which left the boy visibly cornered.

– Mr. Zoe, could you please speak a little slower? I don't understand when they talk so fast... – He pleaded almost silently, which wasn't loud enough for the teacher to hear.

- Christ, I'm sorry, I got carried away. Well, I'd love to keep talking to you Armin, but now it's time for the boring part of the class. You can sit down now - The blond Channel boy just obeyed without having to ask twice.

And once he was settled, he laid his head on the table, using his arms to hide his face.

He was muttering some confused words under his breath as he tapped his nails nervously over the marble surface. it was something inconspicuous to the students around him, but something about his action made me uneasy.

The teacher started writing our quarterly schedule on the board while explaining the basics we should study before practical biology classes.

It was something important, especially for me who never studied at such a fast pace. However, the aura that that boy exuded was making me uneasy.

- Hey, are you all right? - I got no answer. - Sorry, but you don't look so good. If you want, I have water in my backpack, it's still cold and stuff. If you're obsessed with cleanliness, don't worry, I didn't even drink from it today.

- Nein, dan- he paused when he realized what he was saying - No need... Thank you.

- Are you sure? - I asked as I put my little pink water bottle on the table, next to him. - If you want, it's there. Feel free to fill it in the drinking fountain later - After that, I stopped insisting and started writing down everything the teacher said in my notebook.

A few minutes later, Armin came out in his cornered position and drank the water, keeping his lips a respectful distance at the mouth of the bottle.

– Thanks – He whispered, so that only the two of us could hear, and I just replied with a "ok" and put the bottle away.

After the blond boy had composed himself, he began writing in his binder everything that was on the blackboard. With some footnotes in German, probably reminders of something he didn't know how to write in Portuguese.

After that incident, he didn't dare say anything else during that class, nor did he look in my direction. He just turned his full attention to the teacher, visibly ignoring the chaotic screams of the backroom crowd.

When this class ended and we were packing our things to leave, I was surprised by the teacher's call, just like the boy who was sitting next to me.

I walked towards her a little fearfully, afraid of something bad I could have done, even though it was logically impossible.

- What face is this girl?

- I don't know, I don't know why you called me...

- Relax, it's not bad. And wait a minute there, Arlert boy. I'll talk to you already – I breathed a sigh of relief, until I heard the second part of this speech. - I happened to read your aptitude test and honestly, I was impressed. It was by far the highest score we had that year. But there's something you probably already know but have no idea about, the pace here is much faster than in public schools. I say this from experience, as I teach both types of schools and I know that even my best public student would be bewildered studying here.

- I see... Is that what you wanted to tell me? - A somewhat demotivating thing to hear on the first day of school.

- Yes and no, but the main thing was that if you need help with the subject, you can come talk to me after class. I also came from public school, and it's horrible to arrive with knowledge outdated in relation to our colleagues – They gave me a motivating smile, this speech is definitely something my aunt would say. I just decided to ignore the coincidence and be grateful for the help, as I'm probably going to need it.

I thanked him politely and left the room, leaving the teacher to say whatever she wanted to talk to Armin about.

Even though the teacher didn't say much, my heart was still racing. And I did my best to ward off any negative feelings by analyzing the things around me.

The school itself was very pretty, with a welcoming style.

I went down the stairs and walked towards the courtyard.

When I arrived at the cafeteria and saw that giant queue, my desire to have a snack just went away, so I ended up opting to go to the bathroom.

He was like an ordinary bathroom, nothing more than expected. Of course, apart from the fact that it looked too clean for a school bathroom.

But I ignored that fact, even because it was the first day of school. At least today he should be tidy, he very much doubted that on other days he would be the same way.

When I was washing my hands, I could see a group of girls laughing and talking against the bathroom wall. Nothing out of the ordinary, we already expect this kind of thing at school.

But when I saw that they were looking at me, my energy, which was already low, started to practically crawl on the floor. But once again, I did my best to ignore everything I heard them say.

I thought about saying a few things, but I couldn't.

I stood still, listening to everything, feeling everything, and keeping it to myself.

Coming out of the bathroom, I saw the group of students from earlier today, only now, Armin was sitting among them.

Sincerely? I was happy for him. A few minutes ago he seemed so anxious, and at least now he has someone to talk to.

How I didn't have the energy to do anything else, not even touch up my makeup. I decided to sit on a nearby bench and try to get my thoughts in order, but they just spoke too loudly.

- But like, so you're German born in Germany? - a girl with black hair asked.

- ... Is there another way to be German?

- I don't know, sometimes your parents are from there.

- My father is Brazilian and my mother was German, so technically I'm both...?

- But man, if you're German, why the fuck did you decide to come to this end of the world? - This time it was Jean who was asking the question.

- It wasn't my decision, just... Family problems.

- What kind of problems?

- The family type - And for a small fraction of a second, our eyes met, and he smiled at me.

And I reciprocate, but somehow, I felt overwhelming sadness right away.

Intense pain, even without knowing exactly where it was coming from.

But still, I knew this was going to be a long day for both of us.

AnneLapin © 2022

#armin arlert x reader #armin x reader #armin arlert #armin x black!reader #fanfic #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #armin x you #atack on titan #snk armin #aot

[definitely-not-a-wasp]

I'm okay with a bunch of disorganized rambling honestly 😂. But if I had to narrow it down then I guess I want to know about main and side characters and how they compare to the original?

I know that tumblr is the Prime Site for disorganized rambling, but I have perfectionism issues. But that is a great question, nonnie, and I will be happy to ramble is a slightly less disorganized fashion.

When reading Maximum Ride as a somewhat-formed adult who discovered they enjoy English classes about 3.5 years ago, I noticed that JP, when writing, doesn't understand consistency. At all. Which means, in many ways, I have a free sandbox to work with.

Spoilers for my rewrite WIP, because I strongly believe that if a story would no longer be good if one had spoilers, then it wasn’t a good story in the first place.

I'm trying to keep the backstories the same, plus or minus the scientific method and a few characters (RIP my OCs. I want to bring you back so bad but it wouldn't fit with the thematic narrative). I've mostly kept their (starting) abilities the same, too. Without further ado, I'm going to introduce some WorldBuilding. (If I'm good at nothing else, I'm good at world building)

First off. Logically.

How are they getting Cable?

How are they getting internet?

How are they getting money to eat and stuff?

JP's answer: handwave it off. Sometimes you need to ignore logistics for the sake of plot. This is an answer I'd accept from an author that I like, such as Julie Kagawa, that makes amazing worlds, characters, and narratives that I will happily handwave a few things that wouldn't work in the real world. James Patterson, on the other hand, did not make any of that; he made a cool concept, some good rough-draft characters, and nothing else, and therefore this is an unforgivable sin.

Wasp's answer: They are not getting any of that.

Introducing Cottagecore.

The house is off the grid. Solar Panels and a wind turbine create electricity. They have their own well. They grow their own food, raise livestock for eggs, milk, and wool, and trap fish for meat. They get money through dumpster diving and pawning. They still have to steal half of the necessities they can’t make themselves. They do have a TV, but it can access about three channels on a clear day. Internet is only a thing when they go to the public library.

Giving the flock a background that’s heavy in farming and livestock rearing shores up the plot holes mentioned above, but in my opinion, ties the flock more tightly to the environment, thus giving them something tangible to lose when they have to leave the E-shaped house. Because they’re not just leaving a house and a safety net— they’re leaving their entire way of life with no promise of getting it back. It also gives them a tangible connection to the earth in case I want to actually pursue the global warming themes.

Main Characters

Maximum “Max” Ride (Birthname: nonexistent)

First off, I'm letting her be Latina, James Patterson.

In the original, Max was very much the headstrong, independent, action girl. Leaning into Strong Female Character (TM), but overall she had a strong, solid foundation and enough character consistency through the first three books for me to not have to just make an entire new character. However, I felt that she was, in some ways, a bit too Action-Girl and Strong and Capable. Yes, Max is incredible and competent, but she’s also fourteen. She’s a child.

In the rewrite, Max’s character is still headstrong, independent, capable, and sometimes not the best at listening to others. All of that’s the same. But she’s that way not because of girlboss energy, but because there’s no one else to do it. She doesn’t want to lead, necessarily. She wants to get some rest and let someone else handle the problems life keeps throwing at her. But she knows if she did that, the responsibility of leader would fall to Fang and Iggy, and she can’t ask that of them. She doesn’t want to place that burden on anyone else (Look, there’s a reason I chose Ayano’s Theory of Happiness as one of her signifier songs, okay?). Her narrative is very much centered around burden, and also around loss. She lost her cultural heritage when she was taken away from her birth family, she lost her childhood to being a leader, she lost a good deal of her friends to the school (RIP my OCs), she lost Jeb, and then she lost her stability. And she’s going to lose a lot more before the end of the story. So a lot of her character arc deals with learning that there are some things she can’t fix, some things that can’t be recovered. She can’t get the E-shaped house back. She can’t get her Little Baby Angel back, even after they rescue her. She can’t get her friends back from the school. And instead of working so hard to recover those or find something to replace them, she has to learn to live with that sense of loss and move on with her life without feeling guilty for leaving things behind. And she has to learn that asking for help and sharing her burden is selfish or weak.

Other changes I made that don’t necessarily fit into her narrative arc, but you asked for rambling so rambling you shall get:

Max hallucinates, because mental illness is also a prominent theme in the rewrite. She doesn’t have a psychotic disorder, but her C-PTSD causes visual/audio hallucinations, especially when she’s stressed or sleep deprived. 

Max ends up having a Gender Discovery throughout the story and goes by He/She pronouns eventually. I don’t know when, but it will happen.

As far as genetic modifications/special quirks go, she can fly faster than the rest of the flock, but not 300 miles per hour. She averages about sixty mph with diving speeds of 240. She cannot breathe underwater or shut down her organs on command. She also has the Super Special Power to predict the weather, but that’s not because of genetics, it’s because she has chronic pain in her right arm that gets worse when weather fronts change.

Her favored weapon is her trusty rebar that she picked up from a condemned building. I think she’s going to name it eventually but I don’t know what yet.

Fang (Birth name: Gabriel Xue)

In canon, Fang is characterized in early books by being the “dark, strong, silent type”. He’s probably the most reserved member of the flock, to the point of falling into the Brooding Mystery Man trope in parts of the book. They care a lot, but they’re not the best at conveying that, especially with the younger members of the flock, and at times their high empathy leads them to making mistakes. Despite the high empathy, he’s often compared to a robot due to his lack of expression and external emotions.

Well, first change is that they’re not a man, so jot that down—

If Max’s narrative is centered around burden and loss, I would probably say that Fang’s is centered around humanity and moving on. None of the flock was treated as human while in the school, but Fang was more often than not treated like a wild animal due to “behavioral issues”, and therefore had and continues to have a difficult time considering themselves real and alive, let alone human. This manifests through a several different ways— where in canon Fang definitely had a ‘fight’ reaction, in the re-write they have a ‘freeze’ or ‘shut down’ instinct. They’re selectively mute for multiple reasons (including derealization, jaw pain, the fact that they didn’t learn how to speak until they were 10, and genuinely forgetting it’s something they’re capable of), a period of Cotard’s syndrome, and a tendancy towards self-loathing and self-sacrifice. In short, Fang is still halfway stuck in the mindset that most of the flock grew out of when they escaped in the school, and doesn’t know how to move past it.

Much of their character arc revolves around not necessarily seeing themselves as human, but learning to treat themselves as human even when they don’t feel like one (or even feel real), and knowing that just because they don’t feel human all the time doesn’t mean anyone else can treat them the same. They never start easily expressing their emotions, and they’re always going to be selectively mute, but they learn to accept that those aspects of themself aren’t character flaws or signs that they’re sub-human. 

Other additions to Fang’s character include:

They don’t get their hair cut in New York. It stays long through the entire series. They have the longest hair in the flock by the end of the series, and they can wear it in so many styles.

Fang uses they/it pronouns because themes of reclaiming the weapons used against it and, more importantly, Gender.

They’re actually really good at spelling compared to the rest of the flock, because they and Iggy communicate with Print-On-Palm when they’re nonverbal, and they’re nonverbal for some pretty long stretches of time. 

They and Max have... zero romantic tension. At all. There is none. The number of times Max calls them her sibling/little sibling in the first arc alone is staggering, and that will not change.

Igneous “Iggy” (Birthname: Jamsetta “Jamie” Griffiths)

I’ve talked about Iggy before. Canon doesn’t give us much to go off of, but from what’s shown, he’s smart, sarcastic, has sharper edges than Fang and Max, and also has a sizable ruthless streak. So that’s what I have to go off of.

The big difference between Iggy and Fang&Max is that Iggy has a much better memory of the School. Most of the flock have areas (months or years) that they don’t remember, or people that they’ve blocked from their mind, but Iggy... doesn’t. So he’s the one that remembers all of the other AVIAN test subjects that were old enough to have names and identities but died due to complications. Max might have the burden of leadership, but he has the burden of memory. And that has lead to both a massive fucking guilt complex, because why did he survive when they didn’t, and, as mentioned above, a ruthless streak that he doesn’t shy away from.

Which is to say, by the end of the story, Iggy has the highest kill count.

I love, love writing Iggy next to Max and Fang. I love writing Iggy next to Gazzy and Nudge. Because, I say this with all of the love of the world, but Iggy is not a good person. He is loyalty and love incarnate, and the world can burn down if he and his siblings are safe. Max and Fang will always try to save as many people as they can. They will wonder what’s wrong with them the first time they kill and don’t have a mental breakdown about it. They are good in a way that Iggy is not. He’s okay with killing Erasers. He’s okay with killing humans. He’s okay with killing people who might not necessarily deserve it, if they show themselves as a threat or are simply in the blast radius. He knows perfectly well that most of those Erasers he’s murdering are four and five and he is okay with that, because a lot of the AVIANs were that age when they died. (Yeah, in the rewrite it’s not Fang who has an issue with Ari; it’s Iggy who wants the 7-year-old wolf-boy dead.) 

And this is, of course, juxtaposed with Iggy being really, really good with Nudge and Gazzy (especially in the beginning). Because, again, he actually remembers being a child. He remembers a lot of kids that died and is therefore fiercely protective of the kids that didn’t, as well as fiercely protective of the innocence that he never got. So he’s the one that cooks their favorite foods when they’re having a bad day, always makes time when they want to talk about something, and convinces Max to let them go to that toy store in New York because, yeah, he Max and Fang aren’t kids. They never were. But Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel can be. (And if he has to be a murderer to preserve that, then he’s perfectly okay with that.)

He and Angel don’t get along very well, though. The telepath doesn’t like hanging out with the person with the most clear memories of the school.

Other additions:

Iggy is trans and says trans rights

He also has paranoid episodes, because C-PTSD. Sometimes they’re very helpful. Sometimes they are not.

I actually decided that he’s one of the flock that doesn’t meet their parents. I know in canon he did, but I always found that very clunky because it didn’t add to his character. He was one of the characters who, until it was convenient for the plot, seemed to care the least about his family. I’d much rather give that to a character whose arc would benefit from it.

Iggy! Gets! Older Sibling Rights! Seriously, he’s two months younger than Fang, he is just as capable.

Iggy does not know braille because Jeb decided it wasn’t necessary for him to know. Iggy is also the best speller in the flock, because Print-on-Palm was the only way to talk to Fang for a solid year. Yes he mocks everyone over this.

Iggy is the only member of the flock that enjoys swimming and can take into the air from water. Everyone else in the flock is incredibly jealous.

Nudge (Birthname: Monique Robinson)

If Iggy is defined by his memories, Nudge is his polar opposite. She was seven when she left the School, but she has next to no memories of it. She is missing a lot of time in the first year she escaped. And that causes... a lot of things. It makes her feel disconnected from her older siblings, it gives her the ability to function in society in a way the other’s can’t, it lets her feel less grief over the ones that didn’t make it and she doesn’t remember, it makes her feel guilty that she doesn’t remember what she’s old enough to know. 

Basically, in order for me to keep the character of Nudge as I saw her (more extroverted, not afraid of the world, fascinated with humans like her siblings aren’t, desiring to fit in instead of isolate), I had to put a little bit of distance between her and the flock. Of course, she loves them— that will in no way change— but she’s old enough that she should remember the school (and her dead friends) unlike Gazzy and Angel, but she can’t, and she very much fears forgetting the flock if anything happens to them. So she’s trying desperately to keep the flock close and wants desperately to experience the world at the same time, and doesn’t know what to do when she can’t have both. That’s her biggest character conflict throughout the series, along with that in-between area where she’s not quite where her older siblings are but understands so much more than Gazzy and Angel, and where she stands in that.

So yeah. Nudge’s journey is that in looking for belonging in the world, in her family, and in herself.

This is why she’s one of the ones that gets to find her parent, James Patterson. 

Other additions include:

She never straightens her hair. Never. Her resources at the E-shaped house aren’t perfect, but she still has learned how to take care of her hair and has a few styles she cycles through.

She becomes the default person Max sics on people when the flock is trying to befriend them. Also their de-facto diplomat around strangers.

As in canon, she does take some time away from the flock to expirience ‘normal life’. This does not last long due to the stress of being separated from her siblings/not being able to help them and [REDACTED]

Nudge is... not the only person in her head. I’m not focusing on it much because she doesn’t actually know and neither does the flock (I don’t know if they ever figure it out during the series, either), but she has dissociative identity disorder. She’s not aware of her alter(s?). Her alter isn’t super aware of her, either. 

The alter that I’ve developed is named Oxy and is not super aware of the outside world. In her eyes, she’s still seven and they’re still at the School. She would not recognize the body as her own if she looked in a mirror.

Nudge actually leaves the flock for a while to pursue her dream of living a normal life. She deserves it. She learns how to make muffins and the basics of software development. These things are unrelated.

Gasman (Birthname: No first name, surname “Falk”)

Honestly, writing Gazzy is kind of hard for me. Partially because I’m not great at writing kids, and partially because I feel like he’s a pretty surface-level character in-series that... isn’t super compelling in canon. But even if that’s the case, I try to treat all of my characters with respect, so here we go. In my rewrite, he escaped when he was four, which was half a lifetime ago for him, so his memories are ill-defined. Therefore, he managed to circumvent a lot of the trauma that the rest of the kids have, and not in the way Nudge did, which is by creating an elaborate blockage in her memories. 

Which means Gazzy... really doesn’t know how to deal with all of this traumatic stuff happening. So much of his development turns out to be a coming-of-age narrative. Learning how to deal with the horrors of what his siblings grew up with. Learning the fears that they had the entire time. Losing his innocence when everyone around him never had it in the first place, and being so terribly alone because of it. Because, really, how can you explain such a deep loss to people who never had what he had? How can they help in a way that matters?

Also, relationship-wise, I’m slowly deteriorating the relationship between him and Iggy. Slowly. Or, changing it, at least. Gazzy hero-worships Iggy in-series, and for good reason, because Iggy is super cool, especially in the eyes of an eight-year-old, and especially when Iggy has taken care to cultivate parts of his behaviors to be child-friendly. Part of growing up is seeing the flaws in your heroes, and Gazzy has to learn how to deal with it. End of the series Gazzy is much less closer to Iggy than beginning of the series Gazzy, and neither of them are really okay with that, but they learn to live with it, because that’s really all they can do.

Notes:

I’m keeping the mimickry! It plays a bit of a bigger role because that’s how Gazzy learned to talk. I’m debating whether or not he has his own voice or if he just borrows the flock’s as he sees fit. He also uses it to scream really loudly and occaisonally burst the eardrums of Erasers.

At one point he cosplays as Jessica Jones. No you don’t get any more context than this.

He has a horrible sense of fashion.

I’m changing his name eventually because it sucks. He’s either going to change it to Gannet, Garrison, or Ivy Mike temporarily, and permanently to Zephyr. (I never said I was going to make his name GOOD, because he’s eight, but it’s changing. You’re welcome.)

Angel (Birthname: No first name, surname “Falk”)

It’s just... a completely different character, at this point. I’ve changed so many things about her in an attempt to make her consistent and act like a six-year-old and work in the whole “telepath before she has a solid sense of identity”, so it’s a different character. Also, I’m tired of writing coherently or in paragraphs, so have some interesting facts.

She has epilepsy! Super severe epilepsy! I think she might also develop juvenile MS in the future because her brain has so many scars from being a fucking six-year-old telepath. There’s no way she could get out of that unscathed.

She has more memories of the school than Gazzy, but only because she keeps accidentally reading the minds of Max, Fang, and Iggy. On a related note, she interacts with Iggy as little as possible.

The mind reading means that she has a hard time developing as a normal child with a normal sense of identity or reality. She can’t tell how much people are individual people and how much they’re just extensions of her. Conversely, she can’t tell how much of herself is actually her instead of the thoughts/opinions/identities of someone else. It’s... kinda fucked? But also super not-her-fault. 

She’s albino because white wings. Also, because I thought it was cool. This also means that her vision sucks, though. Also she has the biggest straw sunhat and the most stylish sunglasses a six-year-old can have.

She’s responsible for Max shaving her hair off.

She has the highest swear count because I think it’s funny. She’s the only person allowed to say the fuck word in writing. Everyone else can only say ‘hell’ and the occasionally ‘damn’ but she can say whatever she wants for dramatic and comedic value.

She is NOT THE FUCKING VOICE, J*MES P*TTERSON.

Honorable Mentions

Jeb

I’m skipping Jeb because of how little I care about him. He’s a little bitch, next character.

Ari

STILL HASN’T BEEN REVEALED AS AN ERASER. I’ve been writing for 50,000 words and he’s over here saying ‘nope nope not yet, not dramatic enough’. He’s had speaking lines but has refused to make himself known to Max. I am so frustrated with this seven-year-old wolf-child that I’ve already considered how I would kill him, if I decide I want to kill yet another child in my writing.

So, my main thoughts for Ari is that he... really just drew the short end of the stick in every possible way. While Jeb didn’t sign him up for Eraser expirimentation, he didn’t do anything to stop it, and pretty much cut his losses when he realized this expiriment made a wreck of his ‘perfect, unflawed’ son, because Jeb doesn’t consider children of any species to actually be humans. So, Ari really hates his dad, which makes things complicated, because he also really loves his dad and really wants his approval. 

Which means that he also really hates Max, because she’s the child that always got Jeb’s time and attention, even when Ari was human. I think, on some level, he knows that trying to tear Max down to a less-favored level isn’t actually going to help his situation— infighting for the love of an abusive parent won’t make them any less abusive— but he’s also seven, and his development is already severely stunted due to becoming an Eraser, and he doesn’t see ‘leaving ITEX’ as an option like the Flock does. ITEX is his everything. It’s all he’s ever known, and they tell him he’s doing the right thing, and he wants them to love him. He wants his father to love him. He knows that if he ever questions ITEX, his father will never love him. So it must be his older sister that’s ruining his life and being a horrible child, and once Ari drags her back down to his level, Jeb will realize who the best child is and love him properly again.

Ari, on an even deeper level, does care for Max quite a bit, because she’s his older sister and he wants that to mean something in a way that ‘Jeb being his father’ obviously doesn’t. He wants what she made for herself, and he hates the Flock because she loves them and obviously doesn’t love him. 

Ari, if anything, is the product of neglect, and both loves and hates everyone who shows a chance of caring about him. And he’s seven, so he can’t notice these patterns, let alone break them.

So. Notes!

He doesn’t look like an adult. I thought that was gross and unnecessary. He’s seven, but he looks closer to thirteen or fourteen. Still young enough that he looks like every Eraser’s little brother, and the Erasers high-key treat him like it.

On a related note, he’s the only Eraser who can talk. The others don’t have the mental capacity or vocal structure to replicate human speech, but they can understand language (at about the level of a two or three year old) and are very good at nonverbal communication. This is why Ari managed to climb the ranks despite only having three years of “service” and also looking like a tween.

He doesn’t have an expiration date because that is SUCH a stupid plot point.

I’m giving him a chainsaw! I don’t know how, I don’t know when, but he deserves to have a chainsaw and GODDAMN I will give it to him.

Emergency and Gene

The OCs that I love and also killed pre-series. They don’t have any scenes, because they’re dead, but their deaths greatly effected Max, Fang, and Iggy, and they are very commonly referenced. Their voices are probably Max’s most common hallucination, to the point where she sometimes pretends they’re ghosts that she can talk to. They’re not ghosts. They’re dead.

Dr. Valencia Martinez

I’m actually keeping her pretty close to canon— loving, supportive, the type of person to take in a gsw victim with minimal questions. The difference is that rather than kindness fueling her actions, it’s incredible guilt. She has three goals surrounding Max: Give her as much support in any way she can, teach her as much about chicane culture as possible, and never let Max know that she’s her birth parent.

(She’s probably going to fail at AT LEAST two of those, but it’s the thought that counts.)

Notes:

She has a pet fox named Robin Hood that she rescued from an exotic animal salesman that got arrested.

I think I’m going to kill her. I don’t know yet, but it’s on the table.

Anne Walker

Y’know, the fake FBI Agent. Who’s not actually a fake in my story because I hated that plot point. She’s genuinely an FBI agent who put the Flock into pseudo-witness-protection in order to build a case against the Institute of Higher Living, accidentally got attached to her prime witnesses, raised them for a few months, realized a [SPOILER] and promptly had to let them get the hell out dodge.

I really like the Anne Walker that lives in my head. She is a VITAL part of the Flock’s development, their mental/emotional recovery, and adding to their safety net to fall back on. She serves them as their first adult role model, and is the first adult to show them what parent/child are supposed to look like from a healthy perspective. Though she has several fuck ups, she becomes someone that the Flock genuinely trusts and loves, which makes it all the more difficult for them to leave when [REDACTED].

Notes:

She and Max do butt heads initially, because Max is paranoid and also afraid of becoming uneeded. This ends up being incredibly important because Max needs to learn how to live and find meaning in life without being the designated Leader/Parent/Big Sister

Anne, at one point, sits the entire flock down to teach them about consent, which was something no one ever talked about with them before. She goes in talking specifically about consent in a romantic/sexual sense (because they’re fourteen and that’s something they need to know), but quickly turns into a full-fledged no, people are NOT allowed to do that to you, what the FUCK.

She’s responsible for giving the flock a laptop. It’s because Angel is online schooled (bc telepathy makes actually learning difficult) and was therefore provided with a computer.

Anne is also allowed to swear, but only when it’s funny.

Michael “Grey” Rivers

Aka Grey from the Sewers Aka GR3Y H47 Aka Mike from the Bronx Aka Gifted Child Syndrome Incarnate Aka Would-be-in-MIT-if-his-parents-weren’t-horrible. He’s my son, your honour.

Basically, his backstory boils down to him being a genius, getting into MIT at 14, his (horrible) parents wanting a perfect child who could “make it out” of the Bronx and represent his family/neighborhood/borough to the world. When he inevitably failed their expectations due to stress, a schizophrenic-spectrum disorder that completely alienated him from the rest of his support network, and refusing to take his psych meds because the side effects were horrible and they made it harder to think (and therefore pass his classes), they kicked him out. He fully intends to go back to MIT when he turns 18 and has control of his finances/scholarships/medication/therapy.

So that’s how the flock meets him. 

Mike ends up in a very prominent support role for the flock both in technological persuits (helping them track their parents, helping them get information from ITEX, trying to disable Max’s chip and failing multiple times until it becomes a matter of personal honour—), in helping the older members of the flock figure out how to deal with hallucinations/delusions (because he’s actually been to therapy, unlike them), and in being one of the only people who talks to them and helps them without any ulterior motive. He’s not trying to build a case against ITEX/The Institute of Higher Learning, he’s not double crossing them, he’s not plagued with guilt. He just genuinely wants to help them, and they genuinely want to help him, and that’s their first introduction to a healthy, non-codependent relationship.

My many disorganized notes on Michael Rivers:

He’s from specifically Morris Heights, Bronx, NYC.

He would say that his last name is actually Rivera, but his grandparents changed it to Rivers so it would sound more English, and his family has been in America for so long that he doesn’t know much about any Latino heritage he may or may not have. He identifies as African American, not Afro-Latino. He’s just bitter that his family felt the need to change their surname to have better opportunities in New York.

Nudge aggressively befriends him pretty much the moment she meets him, bullies him into teaching her how to code, and he very quickly adopts her as his pseudo-little-sister.

His delusions in the book seemed to involve government conspiracies, but as that’s the one delusion that is proved correct in the book, I’ve decided it would be best if his delusions and reality intersected a bit less if I don’t want to write him having a manic/paranoid episode in the second scene he has screen time. So his delusions are more based on “none of this is real”, “someone is recording everything I do and setting me up to fail” and “my ill-wishes on people can and will come true if I dwell on them too long.”. Government conspiracies are one of things he is skeptical about because he thinks most conspiracies are either “CIA admitted to this twenty years ago” or “antisemitism”.

He’s taking online free college classes that don’t actually give him any college credit, but they have good information and help him feel like he’s working towards something. He plans to double major in computer sciences and electrical engineering, minor in marine biology. He’s wanted to join NOAA since he was twelve and he is nothing if not stubborn.

There you go. These are my characters, now. I have custody.

#maximum ride on main #Maximum Ride rewrite

[ipreferfiction]

get to know the blogger

@revanchxst as usual tagged me, do Not ask how long ago, so i figured i'd finally do this! i'm running out of people to tag so. @voiceofthetraveler, @sith-shenanigans, @tarrevizsla, and whoever else wants a go!

1) why did you choose your url?

honestly i don't remember! i made my tumblr way back in 2016, and I was pretty young back then, so i think i just picked something that i thought sounded cool, and now it's what i use pretty much everywhere lol

2) any sideblogs?

none that i'm willing to admit to except for cassusfett.tumblr.com which i will Never let go of

3) how long have you been on tumblr?

since september 2016 i think? that's the first archived post i have, so i'm going to assume it was somewhere around there.

4) why did you originally start your blog?

i wanted to be in fandom central and i felt like i was missing out on a bunch of stuff. joke's on me, i was in the spn fandom at that point and i'm so glad i never actually managed to make it into the fandom properly.

5) why did you choose your icon?

because i am obsessed with my own ocs and this is one of my favorite little drawings of J'lima that anyone has ever done! i love her i'm normal about swtor

6) why did you choose your header?

i read totj and now my brain is consumed by Exar Kun. @tarrevizsla my friend edited me a comics panel for a discord header and i will love em forever for it.

7) what is your post with the most notes?

this one, which is a tragedy because i have some other truly excellent shitposts

8) how many mutuals do you have?

14 i believe

9) how many followers do you have?

97

10) how many blogs do you follow?

65 (edit: just pruned down to 59), which is way fewer than i'd thought

11) have you ever made a shitpost?

i have made SO many shitposts, my favorite one of which is this:

it is saved as ass.jpg and it lives in my head rent-free.

12) how many times do you use tumblr a day?

you don't want to know

13) have you ever fought another blog?

yep! and i'd do it again

14) how do you feel about "need to reblog" posts?

i hate them. i automatically assume you have another agenda, and they're always so guilt-trippy, as if someone on tumblr dot hell is going to be the lynchpin of whatever social issue is being talked about. it's frankly very stupid

15) do you like tag games?

i love them! as evidenced by this thing lol

16) do you like ask games?

yes!!! i love the chance to ramble about whatever catches my interest

17) which of your mutuals do you think are tumblr famous?

uhhhhhhh probably @revanchxst is the closest mutual i have to tumblr famous, and that's only within a small section of the fandom

18) do you have a crush on a mutual?

i do not! but one of them is my best friend and platonic partner and i love them immensely

#things i have been tagged in #ac.txt #i have no idea how to tag these things lol