#holders of memory

[sapphosewrites]

"No one returns from exile, ever. My country was no more, neither were the people the same people, nor I, Augusto."

-Augusto Boal, 2001

#yes i'm posting this because of garak i have a problem #but also! everyone is so enamored of boal and to #and yet no one ever told me the man was tortured by his state #no one ever talked about what it meant that so much of his work was developed in literal exile #and of course i'm thinking about it in conversation with the ilya kaminsky quote #the country i left no longer exists except perhaps in my imagination #something about: those exiled become the record-keepers #holders of memory #the nation moves beyond them and the people left behind change with the country #but it is preserved as it was in that moment in time in the minds of /as perceived by those it cast out #and so okay yes fucking fine garak #as the memory keeper in exile #of a cardassia that existed only in the moment of his exile

[pocketramblr]

you know im thinking. im thinking maybe Yoichi wasn't even that into captain hero as an adult, but AfO kept bringing LITERALLY every conversation back to that because he decided to Be The Demon Lord and so Yoichi like, can't get an argument in unless he uses the same material so he's like 'oh my god i haven't even thought about that comic in ten years but even i know the bad guy didn't win. you should not be basing you whole identity, business model, and world destruction plan on your five-second impression of a comic book bad guy who didn't even win! also you shouldn't kill people!'

#AfO has a very flat picture of Yoichi in his head #His Possession. Weak and small. and taught him language reading and socialization with Captain Hero #he's THORS POPTARTS-ing his own brother in his memories #what sort of art styles did yoichi like? how did he interact with gender? did he like his eyes or did he wish they were different? was he a #morning person or a night person? were there clothing textures he loved or couldn't stand? did he like to collect feathers or leaves? did h #ever pick up any sense of religious knowledge from his assorted readings? cultural identity? did he learn how to cook in theory but never #had the materials to practice? or did he cook once they were older as AfO sort of internalized that as yoichi's subservient role? #or did he make absolute monstrosities when he attempted to bake anything? #We dont know because all we see of Yoichi is: #his brother's memories of him. could be flanderization for all we know #and an imprint of Yoichi in ofa #who by necessity has to be focused on his brother #we'll never get to see the whole picture of the dead holders. they're dead. and we can't change that. can't know their vibrant lives #so yeah lets see. a five+one fic about yoichi's changing relationship with media property captain hero over time in his life and death #compared to afo's static impression of yoichi's relationship / afo's own unchanging relationship with it #hmmmm

[ijustwannamakeemojis]

[ID: Nine small pixel hearts of system role flags, in order trauma holder, caretaker, gatekeeper, memory holder, dissociation holder, pseudonaut, symptom holder, architect, and communicator. End ID]

Tumblr makes them bigger than they actually are click to see correct size or check out the rentry in the pinned post

#there will be a few posts of these they make me happy #trauma holder #caretaker #gatekeeper #memory holder #dissociation holder #pseudonaut #symptom holder #communicator #architect #plurality #endo safe #system roles #pixel #heart #discord emoji #rentry

[companionplanting]

Hey

I know it's tempting, and I know it's hard to accept, but brute forcing your way to find your trauma isn't going to help you or your system.

Trust me, we get it. You just wanna know, you wanna understand and you don't want to have a guessing game each day but trauma holders formed for a reason. Your system formed from trauma for a reason.

What you should focus on is getting better, strengthening communication, and building a more comfortable and safer life for the whole system. Being out of the loop sucks, and I understand that nagging feeling to just know what's happened already.

But you would never try to force a friend to blurt out their trauma unprompted. You would never interrogate and cross boundaries with the people you love to make them reveal their trauma to you.

It'll happen in time. They will open up. You just have to trust them and be patient. You just have to heal from what you know now and be ready for when they do open up. They aren't your enemy in this, they do care for you, even if it may not feel that way.

-🌺

#blurry 🌺 #companion_planting #actually did #actually osdd #actuallydid #actuallyosdd #did system #osdd system #actually dissociative #did osdd #osddid #cw trauma mention #trauma mention #trauma memories #trauma recovery #healing from trauma #actually traumagenic #traumagenic #traumagenic system #trauma holder #system positivity #did positivity #osdd positivity

[uncanny-tranny]

This is my first finished project (well, mostly, I just have to give it a final edge and then weave my ends in), I found a crochet hook holder a while back and really liked how it looks; it's crazy that I could replicate it, even if it's not technically great. If you don't look too hard or scrutinize it, you might be impressed (so please don't look close)

If you want to watch somebody who's competent in crochet, watch the video where I followed the pattern!

#art #fiber art #crochet #my crochet projects #described images #image description in alt #i'm going to make another one in a cotton yarn which i think will be better (plus it'll be in my favourite colour) #i wanted to make this one in acrylic mostly as a mock-up and proof of my ability to understand the pattern #the pattern is deceptively hard. i found it was actually very easy to follow and get used to #unfortunately you might not be able to find the written pattern since the creator has passed away and their blog has been scrubbed since </ #but their memory is still legacized in this video... and i made this hook holder because of their original design. that's mind-blowing #unfortunately i started the pattern by obsessively counting my stitches and then that went out the window

[rigels-nigels]

do mine eyes deceive me? is there actually truly something that isn't commonly made with plastic? so much so that the option would be considered rather rare? Shocked, bamboozled, incredibly delighted

#op #idk if it's true cause i mean it's just one blogger saying this but i hope within my heart of hearts it is #let them remain popularly unplastic #please #this about lace bobbins btw #apparently you can use just about any sorta stick thang that can hold a few meters of thread as lace bobbins which is delightful news #i hope to find some suitable twigs outside and use this memory foam pillow and attempt some bobbin lace #if i decide i enjoy lace making and i hope i do i think my goal bobbins would be bone #beautifully carved and perhaps even painted #i hope bone starts to make a comeback as a material bc it can be so so beautiful #i saw these needle holder thangs on etsy made of bones from a hundred some years ago and augh so pretty #so expensive...

[justanotherstardrop]

vent art. this memory is not safe it is best that i hold on to it forever I don't think there will never be a time where it will be safe. if our system knew all our trauma they'd fall apart. if others knew it they'd probably wouldn't even believe us. we cannot trust anyone else. it's hard but we must protect the system as much as we can I'm not a protector but I'm a trauma memory holder and what I will do is hold this memory with everything in me and keep it safe.

art by Pebble. it's a drawing of me that i edited - Pebble

#pebble's art #our posts #dissociative identity disorder #did system #alter #alter art #trauma holder #memory holder #did system art #did art #system art #did #system #vent #vent art #art #trauma #trauma art #trauma artwork #vent artwork

[scatterpatter]

The trauma holder + fictive + age regressor experience...

#my art #doodles #j.txt #dissociation tw #trauma mention #this is all /lh dw we're okay! luckily it landed on Normal today JDHSHDJSKD #... dare i tag this with any did/osdd/system tags or am i a coward #im a coward just look at my sillay doodles! #god that last panel. can u tell weve watch tadc. #anyways hiiii im hijacking the main blog even tho i have my own sideblog :3c #fr tho being both a fictive and a trauma holder is WILD #i want to just be a sillay bot but nooooo i have to hold Memories of the Horrors :///

[ittybittybumblebee]

when i move out i need to find a good old vhs tape player so bad

#do most tvs still come with vhs tape jacks. if not ill find an older tv too #u cn find these things at used places all the time but i simpy do not have room for any of that right now #i just need this n a record player n a dvd player and im all set i fucking love physical media grahhhh #found my cloudy w a chance of meatballs 2 (got for bday one year) dvd holder the other day and even tho the dvd is no longer with us #i kept the packadging for memories sake #AND AND AND i cant wait to have enough privacy i can buy whatever books and comics i want without my familys judgement #theyre crazy #but im feeling positive. i Am capable of moving out and living on my own its whats gonna save me #theres a lot of good things 2 come with the scaries of it all too. so i will survive for joy

[pocketramblr]

Pocket you cannot leave me hanging like that, what happens after the DNA test comes out as a match?

1- The next night, the broker Izuku would prefer to not acknowledge comes back with a new piece of paper. "Well?" Shigaraki asks, and the broker waves his hands. "It's a boy." Dabi grabs the paper. "Match between Midoriya Izuku and... Person 2? Giran, what-" he stops, looks at Izuku, and tilts his head. "All Might's secret lovechild?"

2- Shigaraki buries his head in his hands at the worse mental image. Magne pats his back, Twice calls Dabi both an idiot and a genius, Toga questions how Giran got All Might's blood to test. Spinner and Compress turn to Izuku, and he shuts them down immediately. "No. I am not. Ugh, Todoroki thought that too "

Dabi gets so mad at that, he storms out without a word. Izuku thinks that's kinda weird, but Giran just takes the paper he dropped. "I didn't, Toga, that's mine. And it was a spit test, not blood."

Magne points out that spit is kinda just filtered blood, and Shigaraki yells at them all to shut up. Then, he asks Izuku about Todoroki- and his weaknesses.

3- Izuku has had to deal with Shigaraki wanting info on Bakugou out of him for the last day, and he's at his limit now. He snaps, Shigaraki snaps back, and it's only when Spinner tries to break in to point out that Todoroki was the other one who fought Stain. That's a good enough redirection for Izuku to ask if Shigaraki isn't super annoyed by the stain cosplay thing, considering their mall conversation. Giran sits down next between Magne and Compress, who fill him in on how Izuku's been the last day- refusing to let Toga spoon-feed him, but begrudgingly allowing Spinner, though they suspect that will be different now. Giran says Spinner is one of the better choices for Izuku to try and use for sympathy to get an out, since he does have Stain's approval, and Spinner is, as far as Giran knows, the only member who hasn't killed anyone yet. Smart. Compress says it runs in the family, but Magne says it's absolutely no thanks to Giran at all.

4- Giran lights up a smoke, with that gun lighter of his, and Izuku cuts off when he sees it, wary, until he just lights a cigarette and puts it away. He does ask though, "Giran, right, the broker? You give them the equipment too, you gave Mustard his gun?" Giran tells him he gave Dabi a gun, actually, and Mustard stole it. The others laugh. Izuku doesn't. He's mostly glad he heard any other name to use for the broker than Hisashi. But then Giran says that it sounds like Izuku's smart, and wonders if Tomura would have an easier time swaying Bakugou to his side using that. Either way, he'd be useful with some of Giran's training- and a short leash. Izuku's very unhappy with this idea, but Shigaraki's unhappy with him and says he might just do that, since it'll piss him off. Once Sensei makes sure he isn't OP, of course.

5- Izuku has a miserable next day, as usual. That night, Giran doesn't visit. Instead, the door knocks just before All Might crashes through the wall. Edgeshot knocks a lot of people out, then pauses looking at the piece of paper that fell from the bar. It's almost as disturbing as the teenage corpse floating inside of Kurogiri. But Izuku's hugging All Might, so everything is fine- aaaand they've all been wrapped away. Well. At least All Might can make AfO feel pain for it. Nine UA students commit vigilantism and get Izuku to a hospital. Inko is immediately brought over- though the hero Edgeshot does pull her aside while Izuku's in surgery, with a few questions.

+1- After Izuku gets his casts off and can go home, he gets a text from an unknown number.

"Hi kid. Like I said, even chances you'd get picked up. You can ask your friends how they knew, it was patches storming out in a hissy. Also like I said, you owe me a favor. Later, though. For now, just don't block this number?"

Izuku immediately blocks the number.

Cities away, Giran laughs and pulls out a second burner phone.

"fine, I get it, one helicopter parent is enough. Take your space."

Izuku glances to the door, behind which he knows his mother is getting ready for visitors from UA, that she isn't sure he's safe there, and holds his phone so tightly it breaks.

#he does end up at ua tho because Inko was freaked out about the test. it's probably fake but seems like they're stalking her kid #and i mean he isn't safe at the mall he isn't safe at home. ua isn't worse at least #but hmm wonder if he'll tell anyone.... #maybe he can dream one of the first three holders memories and decide to... #knows All Might won't care etc #but what's Inko thinking!! she's got no clue if that sugar daddy from almost two decades ago is actually on the villains radar or not #and if he is- she didn't get his real name so..... #pocket talks to people #anon #ask game

[jaimeshonorhardon]

Love how George makes all the name bearers have similar trends

Aegons always being either pretty easy going decently good kings or really really shit god awful oh my god why did the gods do this to us kings

Viserys’s always being mid (I’m sorry nyras viserys but u are a viserys)

Rhaenys’s always being underestimated and forgotten for the most part but powerhouses when it counts also slaying and serving always thanks 😊

Visenyas always dying after the goat said ain’t nobody like me motherfucker I Alone Am The Honored One

Daenerys always going through tragedy young or being sent away (or both…hey dany 😬)

Daemons always causing chaos

Daerons burning out bright and fast like yaaas you slayed but it was only like a few years and then u died so next king I guess 😬😬😬

#I’m sure theres more and better ones but like from my collective memory of all the name holders… #asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #house targaryen

[fluffyapathybunny]

I'm sorry to my coworker, who was getting this as part of her Secret Santa and has been currently IOU'd, that I haven't finished this yet.

#I had the motivation to work on it today #previously it was just skull and silly looking candle holder on black and purple #I think it's looking better with more in it (the runner and the window curtains). #I still can't skulls but my limited memory of what the look like I think it looks okayish #no references. in this room we suffer and struggle #.... okay references. but only for the future spider lilies.

[thecouncilofidiots]

Lowkey freaking the fuck out???

The memories are either missing or not right and I know I should be used to this I should be used to this but it's still jarring as fuck and I'm scrambling and doubting my perception of reality and the truths of our existence and just AAHHH

It's not even a distressing memory, at least those I know the others purposely keep from me, I can accept that, but something simple and mundane and what is real on a day-to-day level??? Is it real? What is the truth? Why are my memories off?? -Ace

#shitpost #screaming into the void #memory #memory issues #amnesia #dissociative amnesia #memory alteration #memory holder #memory holder alter #did alter #did alters #unreality #tw unreality #did #did system #dissociative system #tw derealization #tw depersonalization #tw dissociation #questioning reality #questioning memories

[deus-ex-mona]

eat the [redacted] anime pen, kaito-kun

#in o t h e r n e w s i brought all of my plain pens to work and now this is the only pen i’m willing to use bc i accidentally bought 2– #like heck im gonna let my family see it though what if they misunderstand and think that i like the [redacted] anime???? no wayyyyyy #the pen writes pretty decently though ngl. but again im not bringing it to work bc my coworkers would def question it/steal it #plus it’s a black ink pen and i prefer using blue inks bc it’s easier to differentiate from the bw printer ink lmaoooo— #special thanks to my bro’s gf for the pen holder though~~~~~~~~~ #but i cant believe my bro remembered my rxl phase from like 2k14 bro erase it from your memory p l s i dont even ship them that much anymore #idk how much he remembered of it but. the way he said ‘the yellow one is your favourite right’ was very. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #i haven’t even talked about them in y e a r s man… ig the list of uncorrected misunderstandings between us will keep on growing #g od. now that i think about it. he’ll prolly assume that aizo and len are the same person if i showed him pics of them at the same time.. #like heck im gonna do that. i have a nonexistent reputation to uphold g o o d b y e

[livingfictionsystem]

Been sick all week but I was cute for a couple hours today.

-Rune 💠 (They/She)

#disassociative identity disorder #did system #did alters #memory holder #selfie

[mindmojis]

< - - !! - - > ​ SYS ROLE MOJIS ! - - > trauma holder - - > memory holder - - > symptom holder - - > pain holder - - > stim holder - - > guilt holder ​ < - - !! - - >

#trauma holder #memory holder #symptom holder #pain holder #stim holder #guilt holder #!! emoji #emoji #emojis #custom emojis #mojis #custom emoji #discord emoji #discord emote #custom emote #emoji blog #mad #mad pride #mad pride emoji #mad pride emote #custom discord emoji #custom discord emote