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redbleedingrose · 1 year

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Always ~ Epilogue Part 1

Summary: You and Azriel have been best friends for years after you joined the inner circle as the top healer in Velaris. But with Elain and Nesta’s recent arrival, Azriel has begun to ignore your friendship in favor of being together with Elain. You are heartbroken, and it is Starfall where you will be confined in the house of wind with Azriel and Elain. Everything will be okay though… right? Word count: ~9.4K Warnings: Angst, minor spice, fluff, first time writing, some of it is unedited Masterlist, Part 7, Epilogue Part 2 A/N: I want to start off by saying, I am so sorry this took so long to come out with. I wanted it to be perfect, and part of that came with some writers block and partially due to some demotivation. Anyways, I hope that you all love this epilogue. I have a part 2 that will be out soon and then I will work on requests I have gotten. As always, please please please like, reblog and comment. I love hearing your guys' thoughts. It always means so so much to me.

1 Month Later

It had been a long day at the clinic, most of it was spent waiting in the morning, and then you were slammed with patients back to back with complicated medical histories, that were dealing with the frostbite from the winter cold. Last night, temperatures had dropped below freezing in Valeris, and the people of the city were wholly unprepared. Your healing magic was essentially drained, and you were practically racing to leave, eyes heavy with sleep, before Majda could call you back in to work with another patient.

You wrapped your dark cloak around your shoulders tightly, pulling up the hood to protect yourself from the frigid winter wind that had afflicted so many of your patients today. Usually, you loved the cold weather, especially when it was complemented with snowfall. But the wind… well… that was another story. You pushed the door to the clinic open with your gloved hand, pulling up your cobalt blue wool scarf wrapped around your neck to cover your nose which was already dripping a thin mucus. You were not looking forward to the journey back home despite being less than a mile walk back.

“Dove?”

Your heart jumped into your throat for a moment as the familiar husky voice called on you. It had been weeks since you had seen him, not for his lack of effort, but more-so because you weren’t ready. Last time you had spoken with Azriel, you had given him your permission to try and make it up to you. And for the first week, you were able to handle it. He visited you every night, until you couldn’t anymore.

And then you asked him for distance. For some time. Some space.

And he gave it to you.

But everyday, he came by the clinic, whenever he wasn’t away on a mission, patiently waiting to see if you wanted him to walk you home. Most days, you turned him away, reasoning with yourself that you were too tired, too busy and exhausted from your workload to deal with the emotions of seeing Az again. You loved him. There was no question in that statement. There was no doubt in that statement. You loved him with all of your heart, and you knew that you would continue to love him until the end of time. But… you weren’t ready to deal with the pain that love had brought you.

You inhaled a deep breath, letting the chill air spread throughout your lungs, cooling the heat that was forming within you. Inhale and exhale. Inhale and exhale. And again. And again. Slowly turning to peer over at the male who was standing a couple of feet away, his jaw clenched as he eyed your form, glancing up and down as if he was studying you. As if he was looking for something… as if he was trying to find any injuries. Even in his distance, you knew that Az had been keeping a watch on you, a friendly shadow of his slithering through the clinic as you worked, collecting information and judging any of the patients who walked through the front doors to be treated by you, following you home until you shut the door behind you, speedily returning to his master to report his findings. To report that you had arrived home, unharmed and safe.

He stood tall, wings tucked in tight against his back, probably to protect the membranous structures from the winter of Valeris, soaking in the heat that radiated so thoroughly off his body. In one gloved hand, Azriel clutched a small box, and in the other, he held a book that was nearly bursting at the seams, tiny papers sticking out, marking different pages, most likely lined with the thoughts of the shadowsinger as he read the book. “I– I just wanted to drop these off to you… warm almond croissants from your favorite cafe. I figured after a long day of work, it would be a nice treat.” The puffs of air that followed his words were visible in the cold weather, and he rocked back and forth on his toes looking like a young boy who was nervously awaiting a punishment. His eyes flickered back and forth between yours, a flash of hesitancy at your lack of response before taking a step forward, setting the annotated book on top of the box before holding it out to you, arm fully outstretched as if to keep his distance. “I uh… I read this book a couple of days ago. And it is a masterpiece… truly it… it was heartbreaking. But it was also one of the most beautiful stories I have ever read. I– I couldn’t stop thinking of you while reading it, so I noted everything that I noticed that I thought you would enjoy.”

The book was a long one, thick on its own. And the little papers the spymaster had stuck inside, held a small portion of the book open. He must’ve been thinking about you a lot if he had that many thoughts he wanted to share. This wasn’t a new thing for you two. Honestly, before Elain… before under the mountain even, you would spend entire evenings together reading stories that we had picked out for each other. It would take the entire night just to get through one book because of how often he would lean over to tell you his thoughts. So much so, you would give up reading your book all together, just so you could sit next to the male to watch his reactions as he read the story out loud. And then, the next night, you would read your book to him, allowing for him to observe your reactions in real time. You could tell that a lot of thought has gone into this small gift, this small token of reassurance that Az had remembered you, had thought of you in the time you had spent apart.

“It–,” he hesitated as he watched you gape at the gift he was holding out to you, faltering, thinking he had overstepped, “It’s a love story. I– I know it's a lot, you don’t have to–” The tip of his ears flushed a deep red in embarrassment at your hesitance, interpreting it as obvious discomfort, a stark contrast to his usual stoic nature that comes with being spymaster.

You didn't let him finish, clearing your throat to dislodge the small lump that had formed, grasping the box that he had extended out before he used his shadows to winnow it out of this plane of existence. “Thank you, Az.” Your voice rasped at the sudden buildup of emotion. Every small gesture Azriel made shook you to your core in general… but now, after avoiding him for a couple of weeks… it created an initial sense of fight or flight. But the warmth from his gesture had you sinking into the affection of his reminders pointing towards the love he held for you.

Part of you was still in disbelief that the male you had pined after for so long, had also been pining after you as well, had been loving you in secret.

Another part of you clung to the disbelief, the pain of his behavior on Starfall, and the months preceding. It had left a raw ulcer on your heart that was struggling to heal. You knew it would take time. It would take effort. From you. And from Azriel. This type of pain wouldn’t dissipate with one conversation.

And maybe fear that your mate would ignore you, leave you, for Elain still ran rampant in your dreams despite his endless apologies. The small gestures though… They meant something. To you at least.

He let you process your emotions, allowing for you to ask him whatever you had wanted without any deference in his answers. He gave you space when you needed it, and in that first week when you did allow him to be near you, he held you close, letting you fall apart in his arms, whispering his regret into your hair as he pressed kisses into your temple. And in those moments…

The moments he held you close… the moments he would give you a small token of his remembrance of you when you thought he had forgotten… the moments where he made the rest of the world disappear into an ether with only you two left behind in each other's presence… Those were the moments that had a part of you yearning to pull him close, yearning to let his shadows surround you and play with you however they willed, yearning to never let him go, yearning to murmur expressions of love into kisses you would press to his lips and olive skin, yearning to accept the bond that tied you two together.

But it wouldn’t be fair to brush over the wound he had caused you, when he was supposed to be the one person who never inflicted you with any sort of harm. So… you allowed the part of you clinging to the disbelief and pain to hold you together.

You hadn’t realized you had been standing in silence for a long moment, the book now pressed flush against your chest as you held it to you, the smell of the croissants wafted from the box that you had situated under your armpit. Azriel hadn’t moved either, a flash of desperation in his hazel eyes swarmed before slipping behind the walls he had no doubt built to soothe the ache he felt in his very bones since you had pulled away from him. He cleared his throat, taking in a deep breath, “I was hoping we could read it together. Like old times,” it came out hoarse, laced with fear of rejection, “What do you think?”

You watched as he held his breath, body stiffening as he awaited your response, preparing for a soft denial that would send him into a private spiral of self loathing. But you had spent a long couple of weeks distancing yourself from the male, a very very long couple of weeks. And it had left you exhausted.

You were exhausted. Exhausted from sitting in the pain. Exhausted from forcing yourself away. Because in all honesty? You wanted Azriel near. You hated being away from him, each second away worsened the ache instead of helping it. You wanted his apologies and explanations. You wanted him to make it up to you. You wanted him to lick at your wounds. You wanted him to whisper sweet nothings to make you forget. You wanted him to read to you in the soft voice he had reserved only for you. You wanted him to pull you into a sway as you cooked dinner together. You wanted him to hold you, kiss you. You wanted him to love on you.

And that meant letting go of the fear that had motivated and inspired the distance. That meant letting go of the fear that he might abandon you, a fear that hurt too deeply to think on too long. It meant having faith in the mother and gods above. It… it meant trusting Azriel. It meant trusting his friendship. It meant trusting his adoration for you, his devotion to you. It meant trusting and putting faith into his love and trusting the mating bond.

So, you freed your hand from the grip you had on the book, and took a small step forward, inhaling his scent that sends waves of comfort through you, before twining your fingers with his, his shadows immediately curling around your wrist, “C’mon Az, let's go home and read this book together.”

His jaw dropped, pupils dilating in shock, but he shook himself out of it, a shy smile lilting his face as he nodded in agreement, highlighting the tiny dimple on his left cheek. He slowly moved closer to you, studying your reaction, trying to figure out where your boundaries existed so he wouldn’t cross them, knowing that if he did… it would ruin it. It would ruin the moment you had given him.

You graced him with your own small smile, a heat rising to your cheeks involuntarily, giving him the go-ahead to press his palms into yours. The warmth of his gloved hand seeped into yours, you squeezed at his knuckles with your firm grip which he returned with his own gentle pressure, thumbing at the back of your hand as if he was savoring the weight of your hand in his. With his entire body right next to yours, you could feel the heat radiating off the male, and you unconsciously leaned into it, his warm presence protecting you from the chill of the evening. And then… and then you started to walk together towards your apartment in a comfortable silence.

2 Months Later

Every muscle in your body ached as you laid on the chase in the living room of the house of wind, eyes heavy with exhaustion. You weren’t sure what had you feeling so motivated this morning, but every bit of that feeling had dissipated the second training had started.

It was a rare thing really, to join the valkyries, Azriel, and Cassian this early in the morning. You were a healer, not a fighter. But Az had insisted that you join a couple of times a month to ensure you could, “look after yourself whenever I am not around.” You initially laughed him off, but it became quite clear the shadowsinger hadn’t been joking when his expression stayed flat, unmoving in his suggestion. You thought about arguing against it, but the worry he held in his eyes had your reservations sinking into the deepest part of the ocean, never to resurface.

So… when you woke up this morning feeling wide awake, you had tricked yourself into thinking, “why not?” and had made your way to the house of wind.

You quickly realized that had been a mistake.

With Azriel, you had expected for the male to be a harsh trainer. Of course he would be. He was the spymaster of the night court, darkness incarnate. You had expected nothing less. Which is why when Az and Cass asked who you would like to train with this morning, you had stupidly chosen Cassian.

In hindsight, maybe Az would have gone easier on you. Maybe he would have felt more sympathy towards your previous lack of training. Maybe he would have lessened the rigor of his training to accommodate you. Maybe he would have felt more mercy for his best friend, his mate.

In hindsight, you should’ve realized that Cassian would be just as strict with training, if not a little more. He is the general of the night court, commander of one of the best armies in Prythian. You should’ve realized Cass would have put you through the ringer, just because he could. Just because he would find it funny to watch you suffer.

But you hadn’t.

The brute had lulled you into a sense of ease at the start of training, the first hour was spent with him insisting on some stretching and correcting your form in different warrior positions. Something to do with correcting your balance, but at this point, you couldn’t force yourself to remember. When the other valkyries began to walk away, done with their training, you had followed thinking you were also done for the day, taking a couple of steps towards the water station to soothe the dryness that had formed in your throat. It was Cassian’s grip on your shoulder that prevented you from moving any further, “Where are you escaping off to little one? We still have more training,” with a smug smirk lilting his face, his muscled arms crossed over his chest.

You had looked at Azriel for help, forming a small pout of your lips, thinking the male would give in and save you from the torture you were about to experience. But the spymaster stared back at you with his eyebrows lifted, making no move to help you as he nodded back to Cassian, sending a tug of amusement down the bond, encouraging you to get back to training.

Gods, what a mistake that had been.

You should’ve just sent a vulgar gesture over at your mate, and made a run for your life.

But you gave into him.

The general had you running two miles, while the sun was blaring its unrelenting heat onto the exposed skin of your back, sending beads of sweat from your forehead down to your chin. You had stopped running at the half mile mark, opting to continue in a light jog only to spite the general who was yelling at you to move faster from across the ring.

You had nearly collapsed when you finished, clutching at your cramped side while Az and Cass made their way towards you, large grins spanning across their faces, clearly finding your near death experience amusing. You couldn’t even find the energy to push Cass off you when he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, “Walk it off little one, walk it off.” You immediately lifted your hand into the most vulgar gesture you could think of, groaning miserably in response. Az snickered offering you a small bottle filled with ice cold water in respite. You growled despite the sound from the shadowsinger sending tingles throughout your body, “Shut up before I kill you both.” The pants you were letting out interrupted you after every word, snatching the bottle from Az’s outstretched hand. Cassian roared with laughter, shaking your body slightly as he wisely chose not to verbally reply. Your lips twitched when Az sent waves of pride down the bond; his shadows snaking around your exposed skin, reaching around your neck, pressing in cool whispers of touch against the warmth causing you to shiver slightly.

Only the three of you were left in the training ring by the time you had cooled down, finishing off the training with stretching and a half-hearted promise to Cassian you would never return to this hell-hole as Az trailed behind you. You collapsed onto the chaise where you currently lay, “I am going to die Az, what the fuck?”

His shoulders shook in laughter as he maneuvered your head off the couch, settling down where it once rested, and relaxing shoulders onto his lap. He ran his fingers through your damp hair, hazel eyes gleaming with amusement, “You are not gonna die dove, you just need some more training.” You bristled at the thought, all the muscles in your body began loosening at his ministrations, eyes fluttering shut to savor his scent as it began to consume you, “No way Az, that was a one and done type thing. Never again.”

His silence was calming, and his shadows hovered over you so gently, they hypnotized you into a dozing state, one half of you aware of your surroundings while the other half of you couldn't care less, as long as Az was with you. This had become a common occurrence in the past couple of weeks since you had invited him back to your home. You spent the entire night, sitting on the floor in front of the hearth, reading to each other different passages of the tragedy, analyzing his initial thoughts of the book, and listening to each of his new opinions, while adding your own. It had been a beautiful book, just like Azriel had mentioned. A story of two lovers who were separated by time, only to find each other once again. Your breathing had deepend, and you were moments away from giving into the sleep as you recalled the night with a sense of fondness stroking your heart.

“Please dove,” a soft whisper, so soft that you almost missed it. Almost. But Azriel’s hands had paused from running through your hair, and the tone he used was nearing on desperation. The sleep slipped away from you as you opened your eyes to find him staring down at you, his lips pressed together so tight that the blood drained from them. You sat up, turning to face him and pulling his hands into your lap, confused at his sudden distress as the beating of his heart raced so hard within his chest, you could hear it from where you were sitting, your attention alert and on fully him, wanting nothing more than to calm him, to soothe him like he had with you, “What’s wrong Az?”

He takes a shuddering breath, “I need you to be okay. I– I need you to be safe,” his hazel iris’ flicked back and forth locked on yours, “I want to always be there by your side… but it's unrealistic to say I will be with you at every moment of every day protecting you. None of this is easy. My job. My life. It has come with a lot of enemies. It has come with a lot of unexpected betrayals. And I just can’t let anything happen to you. So I need you to be able to protect yourself when I am not there. Because when Amarantha took you under the mountain, I wasn’t there. I wasn’t there to protect you. And it is still something I haven’t been able to forgive myself for.” His brows furrowed, his grip on your hands tightening, squeezing once, twice, thrice. A shot of grief had your toes curling as he continued, “Everyday that you were gone was utter torture. Utter panic. The moment I couldn’t feel you anymore? I– I was in hysterics. Not knowing if you were okay… it is a feeling I never ever want to experience again. I need you. I can’t live with you. So… so I need you to do this training. For me. Okay, dove?”

You run your arms up his toned ones, skimming the veins and ridges with a light trace, wrapping them around his shoulders, hauling him into you. You rested your head against his shoulder right into his neck, breathing in his rich scent and rubbing at the tension he carried right between his wings, trying to ease the knots away. “Okay, Az.” You made the move to pull away so you could look him in the eyes and promise him you would continue the training, but he only tightened his grip around your waist, burying his face deep into your neck. You chuckled, shifting into his lap, your legs settling aside his thighs and tugging him even closer, just until your upper body was molding into his. You returned your face into the crook of his neck, enjoying the warmth he radiated.

Amarantha’s reign had left a lot of fae traumatized, and that included the fae who lived outside of the mountain. While you experienced the terror from within, Azriel was stuck outside, only the whispering of rumors giving him an idea of the kinds of suffering Rhys and you were subject to. You couldn’t even begin to imagine what it was like for him. To hear the things your high lord and mate were dealing with, not even knowing if it was their reality and wondering if they were suffering worse, knowing they were trapped by a spell and not knowing if you would ever see them again… for fifty years, Azriel sat like a sitting duck in that feeling. Resenting himself because you had gone with Rhys instead of him. Resenting himself because he hadn’t protected you from Amarantha. That he couldn’t protect you… wouldn’t be able to while you were trapped suffering only mother knows what. Your heart ached at the thought of your roles being reversed. If it had been Azriel stuck under the mountain, a mating bond unknown to him while you were completely aware, to have that bond go silent for fifty years without any notice, to live without knowing if he was dead or alive… it made you stomach churn. So, you ran your fingers across his back, toward his neck, and into his hair. Playing with the ends as you clung to each other in the fear of losing each other, in the hope that it would never happen again during your lifetimes.

3 Months Later

Your day had started out so wonderfully. The sky was cloudy, indicating the rainy day that was ahead of you, and the morning doves were singing a beautiful song you could hear through your open balcony doors. The chilly breeze slipped into the room that freshened the humid air of summer, Azriel’s membranous wing that covered you both serving as a small barrier when the wind cooled your warm skin that was pressed against him. You smiled into his bare chest, his shadows swirling around you as his finger ran up and down your arm that was splayed across his waist. The way the spymaster was nuzzling his face into your hair had you wanting to pause time in this moment forever, content with the feeling of the pulses of affection you were sending each other through your bond.

The day prior had been spent with the shadowsinger, starting with the training you had forced yourself to continue to attend to soothe your mates nerves. After completing your exercises, Azriel would fly you out to a cafe overlooking the sidra, where you would spend the rest of the morning drinking black coffee, while teasing Az for drinking caramel lattes. The male had a secret sweet tooth that very few people knew about, and these were the types of things you had picked up on during your years of friendship. During your years of pining after the male. He would always order you an almond croissant to-go once you finished with your coffee, and would insist on walking you to your work at the clinic. He would press a soft kiss to your cheek, promising to pick you up when you were headed home for the night so you could cook dinner together.

It had become a routine. A perfect routine. A routine that had your heart nearly bursting with joy every time you thought of it. A routine that had Az spending nearly the entire day with you at least three times a week, if not more. A routine that had Az spending the night nearly three times a week, if not more.

Dinner last night had been roasted chicken and potatoes that were easy to cook, and deliciously mouth-watering. Instead of sitting across the table, Az slid into the seat next to you, wrapping his left arm around the back of your chair as you ate together in quiet conversation. It was these mundane moments, these moments that were spent with only you two, these moments that were consuming your thoughts throughout your day, Gods, they had the bond that tied you together singing. Once you finished, he would extend his arm out, whisk you out of your seat, and embrace you into a dance. His shadows would dance around you and their master, as you swayed together in silence, letting the bond serve as music for your souls.

The first night he did this, you wordlessly pulled him to your bedroom, pulling off his shirt and resting in bed with your head against his chest, his heartbeat lulling you into a sleep that was idled with dreams of him. And since that night, you spent nearly every night together. It had become a habit at this point. One that you didn’t want to break. One that you didn’t need to break. Because time and time again, these past couple of months, Azriel had spent every moment with you trying to prove his love to you. Trying to prove his devotion to you. Trying to prove his adoration for you. He would woo and charm you with his thoughtful gestures; walking you to and from work, dancing the night away with you, flying you over the sidra with his powerful wings so you could experience the night air tangle your hair, annotating the stories he read just for you, cooking dinner with you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as you cuddled close to him, shifting his wings to wrap around you during the night so you wouldn’t feel the chill of the night. It was all so perfect. He was so perfect. And it was working.

You had fallen for the male years ago, and you found yourself falling all over again. Every day and night spent with Azriel was another minute, another second of you falling for him.

The silent peace was broken by the shadowsinger groaning into your hair, “Rhys wants us to join everyone for breakfast at River House,” no doubt the high lord had snuck beyond his mental shields to coax you both to the house of wind. He threw his muscled thigh over your legs, rolling you onto your back and trapping you beneath him. You were nearly breathless with his beauty, the morning chill had produced a small flush on his cheeks that wouldn’t have been visible if you weren’t so close to the male. Apparently he had noticed your gaping, smirking down at you and leaning down to press a gentle kiss onto the tip of your nose. You stared up, contemplating, trying to find the will to leave Azriel’s warmth to get dressed out of your pajamas and into something socially acceptable. You were coming up empty, scrunching your nose as the shadowsinger had moved to pressing kisses all over your face, “Maybe we should just skip it, Az, we can just stay in bed for the rest of the day and sleep,” your hand coming up to run your fingers through his silky ink hair in a small gesture to convince him.

“Don’t do this to me Dove,” nudging his nose against yours, “If we don’t get out of bed now, I don’t think we ever will,” the rasp in his morning voice had the hair on your arms standing at attention.

You leaned up, ready to brush your lips against his soft ones, blushing at the sense of giddiness that came with being around Azriel, that came with his charming advances towards you. Maybe you would keep him in bed with you forever, what could possibly be more pleasant than this?

“You better be on your way with your lovebird,” Rhysand purred into your mind, interrupting your moment of intimacy with a gasp, you managed to bonk your head into Az’s nose by the shock before slamming up your mental shields. He was knocked backwards slightly, grip on you loosening as apologies immediately began to spill from your lips. The flush that had marked your cheeks initially from the closeness of your mate had deepened and spread to your neck and ears in embarrassment, “Oh gods, Azriel, I am so sorry,” your hands reaching up to rub at his nose he was clutching, desperately pulling at his fingers to see if any blood was coming out. “It’s fine dove, I’m fine,” his shoulders shaking with laughter as he allowed you to press at his nose, hazel eyes stared down at you with mirth looking completely smitten and endeared by your worry shifted to something more subdued, “I didn’t do something to make you uncomfortable right?”

Your heart jumped at his question. Your conversations continued the night you had found out you were mates, sifting through different concerns you had, including discussions of boundaries you had wanted to set as you took the time to process your new relationship. As you took the time to process his side of the story, his apologies, his want for something more with you. You wanted space from him, you wanted to give yourself the time to grieve the period you had lost with him, including under the mountain, including the months prior. And he had respected that fully while making sure to still put in the effort of building towards something more. Each step you took, you took together in navigating the huge change that had come with Az being your mate.

The spymaster, true to his nature, had been patient with you. Answering every single question you had with complete honesty, with no excuse, only an explanation and a promise to be better. There were still some things that weighed heavily on you, things that still upset you, and you weren’t ready to accept the bond yet without discussing those things, without working through those things. But when you were ready, whenever that moment would come, you knew that Azriel wouldn’t push you away, he wouldn’t excuse his behavior that he had apologized for time and time again, behavior that he had acknowledged and assured you was wrong on his part. Throughout this entire process of rebuilding your relationship with the male from where you had left off, Azriel had only validated you. He had ensured that every step forward in your relationship had been something you were comfortable with, and you knew that he feared violating any of the boundaries you had laid down.

“No Az, it was Rhys, he was calling on his to join everyone and I guess he just surprised me,” you murmured, smiling softly at the male to reassure him that he had been within his limits, the tips of your fingers danced over his nose, using bits of your healing magic to soothe any ache that would form later in the day from the sudden pressure. He only hummed, wings flaring at the sensation of your touch, spanning across the length of your bed. When you decided you were content with your healing, the shadowsinger moved to kiss the tips of your fingers before lifting himself off you, pulling you up with him, “Come my dove, don’t want Rhys to rip our heads off for being too late.”

You had dressed yourself into a navy blue dress that had extended to your ankles, cinching at the waist and flowing over your hips while Az had dressed into his leathers that had been strewn across your hardwood floors quickly, allowing for him to fly you to River House. It would be the first time since Starfall that you would be seeing everyone all together, much to Rhys’ chagrin, and part of that brought slight anxiety at seeing the one person you had been avoiding since the start of this all, slight anxiety at seeing Az interact with her. You tried to push it out of your mind, mindful of taking a couple of deep breaths, as you entered the sunroom that Rhys had opted to have breakfast in this morning. The clouds had cleared up, and the rays of warm sun heated the room into a comfortable temperature.

You stiffened when you noticed the pointed look Morr was sending you, the only two empty seats that had remained was one to Elain’s left and one directly in front of that chair next to Cassian. You tried to suppress the grimace that you knew had probably already flashed across your face, pointedly ignoring Azriel, who had turned to watch you, as you made your way towards the seat open next to Cass. You cleared your throat, rasping out a greeting before taking a couple of sips from the full champagne glass. Azriel moved to his seat next to Elain, though his eyes remained trained on you, murmuring out his own greeting to the table. You carefully avoided eye contact with him, putting up a small wall around the bond, annoyed that you had once again found yourself in a position of discomfort, despite Az not being the one to blame. It is not like he had known this would’ve happened, nor did he make the move to sit next to her until you had already placed yourself next to Cass, leaving the only bare seat next to her. Discomfort and apprehension snaked through you as you recalled the events of Starfall, eerily mimicking today’s set up, pushing it to the back of your mind as Rhys waved at everyone to begin their meal.

You had stayed quiet for the most part of the meal, stirring in the flashbacks of the argument you had with Az during Starfall leaving a lump in your throat. You only responded to Cassian's teasing, trying to muster up your own smirk and fiery response like usual, but came up short every time he tried engaging you. Azriel had taken to observing you, his shadows swirled around your wrist, trying to grab at your attention, but you weren’t in the mood to have the discussion you so desperately had put off until now in front of the inner circle.

The conversation about Elain had been one you had with Azriel a couple of different times, but usually at a surface level, the pain still feeling too raw to discuss in depth. Everytime the shadowsinger tried to explore further your concerns, knowing this had been a huge point of contention in your relationship with the male, you sheepishly redirected the conversation to other topics. And graciously, your mate had let you. It wasn’t that you still feared he would leave you or ignore you again, that much had been made clear by his efforts these past couple of months in rebuilding the relationship you once had, and furthering it. But… but it still hurt. You had felt… you had felt abandoned by him. Like… like you had meant nothing. Like the years of friendship had meant nothing. And every time you thought about it, a sharp pain would course through your body and would settle in your chest.

And you knew he hadn’t meant to make you feel that way. That he was trying his best to make something good out of a poor situation. That he was struggling with his own feelings, that he was struggling with accepting the fact he had “failed” his mate in his own words. You knew that he had tried his best with Elain, maybe because he wasn’t able to help you the way he wanted, despite the endless support he gave you after under the mountain.

But he had made you feel that way. And it was a difficult feeling to look past, to get over. And maybe… maybe you didn’t want to get over it. As wrong as it sounds, part of you had this pain to cling to. And maybe you were afraid the pain would never go away… and maybe that is why you couldn’t bring yourself to let go. Because if you did let go, let Azriel explain, let Azriel attempt to make it better, to give Azriel the chance to be better, and the pain stayed?

Well, you weren’t sure if you could live with that.

Az nudged his foot against yours, interlocking your leg between his, and you finally allowed yourself to give into the urge to glance at him. His hazel eyes stared back at you in concern and distress, probably feeling the wall that you had built up around the bond as he attempted to contact you, to reach out to you, to reassure you that he was here with you, and as you attempted to smile back at him through the lump in your throat, you couldn’t help but think that maybe it was time to confront these feelings head on. Confront Azriel head on. Because he wasn’t blameless, and he shouldn’t be treated as such. Because he had taken responsibility, and you knew he would continue to take responsibility. Because he was being better.

Because he was trying.

And maybe, you could try too.

You self regulated for the rest of the meal through deep breathing techniques Nesta had been ingrained into your training, “I am the rock against which the surf crashes,” in and out, in and out. Az’s shadows twirled through your hair, leaving cool carrases against your neck, one source of reassurance, and the other being that the shadowsinger had hardly acknowledged Elain as she awkwardly glanced at the two of you back and forth. You quietly thanked Feyre and Rhys for the meal, creating a mental note to explain to the high lord and lady everything that had happened in the past couple of months later, knowing that they were missing your presence, missing Az’s presence. You stood with your hand held out to Az to grasp onto, promptly winnowing you both back to your apartment.

In and out. In and out. In and out.

You wordlessly dragged Azriel into the living room, sitting down on the carpeted floor, facing the window that overlooked the sidra. When he had settled next to you, he wrapped an arm around you, squeezing at your shoulder before rubbing his scarred hand up and down, “Are you okay?”

You screwed your eyes shut as tears began to line the corner of your eyes, the lump in your throat tightening so hard, it made it almost impossible to breathe. In and out. In and out. “I am the rock against which the surf crashes,” again and again and again. You tried to hold yourself back. Tried to hold in your tears. You hadn’t cried in front of Az in a while… his efforts… they hadn’t gone unnoticed by you. In fact, you had taken his efforts in stride, using them as a means to sweep your feelings under the rug despite his constant reminders that he didn’t want you to do that. That he wanted to talk to you about anything and everything. That he wanted to apologize and make it up to you. That he loved you. That he would spend the rest of his lifetime proving it to you, every day, every minute, and every second.

One of his wings came around your form, wrapping you up in his radiating warmth, and you relaxed into his side, silently observing the way the rays of sun peeked through the thin membrane as the feeling of holding back became almost unbearable. “Dove?”

Your body shook as you snuffled, hot tears streaming down your cheeks, collecting at the tip of your chin and spilling onto the point between your collarbones. “The moments we used to share. Before Elain? The ones that were intimate. That were supposed to be between us. You shared with her, and it kills me. It kills me that you did what you did Az. I don’t know how to forgive you. I don’t know if I can. If I ever will. Because I-... because in that moment Az, I wanted to hate you for it. And gods, I hated her for it,” you felt it. All of it. All the pain that had been building. The pain that you hadn’t acknowledged. The pain you had avoided. The pain Azriel had wanted to address, but anytime he would try, you would shut him out. And all that pain… it had built into a rage. A painful, aching, heartbreaking rage. “How? How could you do that to me? I mean- did you even miss me? When you were with her, being her friend. When I needed you. When you ignored me. Did you miss me? Did you even care that you were hurting me? You were such an asshole. You were such a fucking asshole on Starfall. Your words still fucking haunt me. They haunt me in my fucking dreams.”

It came out in hard sobs, each word interrupted by a shudder of your body. At some point during your speech, you had yanked his arm off of you, pushing away to face him as you let the angry words spill out like a river flowing into an open lake. His wing once wrapped around you was pulled tightly against his back, and the sun that had once been soaking it in warmth had disappeared behind clouds as rain began pouring outside. And with each word, each shudder, each tear, each sob, you could see Azriel’s heart shatter into pieces before you as his hazel eyes stared back in anguish, his own tears flooding into his eyes, not interrupting you, not moving to hold you knowing you would likely push him away, letting you let all your anger and pain and hurt out. Taking the brunt of it head on. Because… because if this is what you needed to feel better, then he would always take the brunt of it head on for you. Because if hating him is what you needed, then he would let you hate him, even if it tore him to pieces.

“ ‘I think your fucking jealous of Elain. Jealous that she is getting the attention that you want… That is so fucked up of you… So stop with this utter bullshit of whatever pity party you are having…’ Those were the exact fucking words you used Azriel, how could I ever, ever forget that? And yes. Yes, I was fucking jealous. And I get it, she went through something traumatizing. And you were trying to be there for her. But that didn’t mean you had to shut me out. You- you were supposed to always be there Azriel. You were my best friend. And you… you abandoned me. You told me my feelings were fucked up. That I needed to get over my bullshit pity party? And the entire time, you knew we were mates and you didn’t tell me. Do you not see how utterly fucked up that is? Like you quite literally broke my heart. I couldn’t get out of bed for days after. I mean… did you not tell me because you- did you not want me?” The next words had bile rising to your throat, your deepest insecurities being exposed to Azriel in this moment, your entire being became small as you whispered the next words, flicking your eyes that were clouded with tears back and forth to gaze into his, “Did you… did you want her instead?”

And there it was.

Right there.

Everything that you had held back for the better part of the three months you had known he belonged to you, everything you had held back since Starfall. Months upon months of insecurity. Months of anguish over the love of your life who had caused you this pain. But you wanted to- no you needed to know what he was thinking. Because even if he was drunk that night, even if he said those words in anger… they were unacceptable. And you would not stand for it. And he needed to know that. He needed to know that if you ever moved forward… you would never ever let him speak to you that way again. Because you and him both know that you deserve better than that.

“No.” Resounding. Definite. Said like an indisputable fact.

Azriel’s shadows had disappeared the moment you started rambling, deserting their master for what was probably the first time in the shadowsinger’s life since they became servant to him. His eyes were tinged red, blinking to force his tears away. He took a deep breath, wings tucked in so close, it looked painfully tight. His lips were pressed together, holding his open palms out to you, praying to the mother and all the gods above that you would reach out and hold them. And his prayers were answered.

Even in this moment of anger and rage and unbearable pain, you reached out to him. Letting your mate ground you. His eyebrows furrowed, his face mirroring his earnesty, “I did not want Elain. Nor will I ever want her. Her beauty is undeniable,” your heart seized as it dropped into your stomach, you nearly snatched your hands away but he didn’t let you, interlocking his fingers with yours, thumb grazing your knuckles, “But it will never, ever compare to yours. And I am sorry. So so so fucking sorry, that I ever made you feel like it did. I offered her my friendship, and absolutely nothing more, my love. Because my heart. My soul. My entire being. It all belongs to you. It always has, since the moment I met you.” He reached up speaking with such fervor, brushing your hair back behind your ear as he thumbed at your tears, stroking your cheek, never breaking eye contact once, “I want to start by saying I never meant for it to seem as though I wanted her, but I know now how my actions lead you to feel that way. I will never, ever forgive myself for how I have made you feel, my love. I will spend the rest of my life apologizing and trying to make it up to you. And I am so fucking thankful, so fucking thankful, that you opened up to me. That you told me how you felt then and how you feel now. Because we haven’t been able to move forward, and now I understand why. I know why. And you don’t have to forgive me my dove. You don’t. What I did was inexcusable. It is unforgivable. I can only pray to the mother above, to the gods, and the cauldron that one day, you will find it in you to forgive me. And even if you don’t, that is okay because I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I- I stupidly thought I was doing the right thing. I thought at the time that I was doing the right thing in distancing myself from you, but I realize now, I recognize now that it was my own selfish need that caused me to distance myself from you.” You sniffed, not sure you fully were understanding what he meant. And he…

He huffed, turning his face to hide it against his shoulder, “Gods, I- I didn’t know how to be around you anymore. All I wanted to do was pull you into my arms and claim you as my mate. And I didn’t think you were ready. I knew that you hadn’t fully recovered from under the mountain, from the war. And I didn’t want to hurt you anymore by changing the friendship, the relationship we had. Because it seemed like you were content with it. And honestly? I was scared. I was so fucking scared that you wouldn’t want me, and I was scared that if I did tell you, I would lose you and your friendship. And I was worried about how you would deal with the loss of our friendship. And now? Now I scoff at my own stupidity. My own failure.” His jaw clenched so hard, you could hear the grit of his teeth as he ground down. He reached his hands up to rest against your neck as he pulled you in, resting his forehead against yours, focusing his hazel iris’ into yours, staring deeply, intently.

“Y/N, my love, my light, my mate… of course I missed you. I fucking ached for you. I still fucking ache for you. I have missed you since you went under the mountain, I have missed you since you came back, I have missed you since the war, I have missed you since Starfall and every day since. Anytime spent away from you is agony that I can’t help but think I deserve. Agony that I brought on by my own actions. And yes, I was an asshole. Starfall… it was one of the worst nights of my existence beyond the five decades of you being trapped by Amarantha. I… I said some horrific things to you. I was drunk, and I was angry at myself for pushing you away, and I was terribly jealous that you had spent the evening with Lucien. It is no excuse. I could feel it… your anger… your pain… I didn’t know what to do with it. Because yet again, I had failed you. Failed in protecting you. Failed in making you content, in making you happy. And the fury I felt was supposed to be direct at me. I hated myself, deeply, in that moment. And it fucking- it ravaged everything around me including you. Those words I said… I wish I could take them back. I wish I could turn back the clock, and go back to that balcony, and pull you close and hold you, and promise you to never hurt you again. I wish I could do that, but I can’t. Words… words like that, they can’t be taken back. They are something that I have to live with. But you… you have the option of choosing, dove. You have the option of choosing to live with them, of choosing me and all my mistakes that I have made in the past and will make in the future with the knowledge that I will spend my existence trying to make the love I give you outshine those mistakes, or– or you could… you could choose to let my mistakes pull you away from me, let my mistakes be the reason you… you reject me. And gods, I wouldn’t blame you if you did. Because I have made a lot of mistakes when it comes to you, my love. And I will probably make some more. All I can do is promise you myself. Promise you that I will live for you. Live to make you happy. Live to make you safe and protected. And Gods, even if you do choose to reject me, I will still make these promises to you. Because it wouldn’t change how I feel about you. Not one bit. I was supposed to be your best friend. And yes, I broke your heart. But I never abandoned you. Not once. I would check on you. Every night. I would check on you after you had fallen asleep. I would stand out on that balcony for hours, ensuring that you were resting well. I warded off your apartment from danger… I had Helion show me a couple of spells, and it was fucking hard but I did it. Because I needed you safe. And my shadows would sneak under the door and check the kitchen to ensure dirty dishes were present in the sink so I could know you had eaten that day. I would read books and annotate them, thinking about you, saving them for the next time I would see you finished with your own. I- I know I should've been more present. I should’ve been more courageous. I should have told you the day I found out we were mates. And I am sorry, so fucking sorry I didn’t. And I know this isn’t the last conversation we will have about this, nor do I intend to let it be. I want you to feel secure in our relationship moving forward. I want you to know there will never ever be anyone else in my life besides you. Even if you don’t want me anymore. I will give you some time to think on it. I would wait an eternity for even a taste of the sweetness of your love. And I will keep trying, every day, to show you how much I love you. Okay?”

He was nearly out of breath by the time he had finished speaking, sucking in your exhales for reprieve, baring out his soul to you. Yes. He had made mistakes. He is not a perfect male. And he never will be a perfect male, and it is not right to expect him to be. Because at the end of the day, everyone makes mistakes. And he was leaving it up to you. He was giving you the option. Wording it so beautifully, so truthfully, letting you know that either way, whatever you chose, he would always be there to put his life on the line for your happiness, even if that happiness was without him. Your heart had skipped a couple of beats, knowing that Azriel hadn’t forgotten you. That he had come by, even if you were asleep and unknowing. That he had looked after you to make sure you were getting better, that he had learned incredibly difficult warding spells by Helion just to protect you. Even while he was making mistakes, bouts of his love would shine through the darkness surrounding you. And he was giving you time… time to decide what you wanted out of your relationship. If you could find the strength to forgive him, to move on, to never forget his mistakes and hold him accountable, but to let his love be the center of his decision making, let his love be the dominating thing you clung to instead of fear. “Okay, Az,” closing your eyes, relishing the feeling of his chapped lips brushing on your forehead in silent thanks.

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blueicequeen19 · 1 year

Text

Stuffed

Warnings: use of toys, restraints

You were bound to your bed, a black draw string bag sitting at your feet where JJ kneeled as he eyed your naked body like a hungry animal with its prey.

“You sure about this? Last chance to back out.” JJ asks, the heat in his eyes undeniable. He wanted this as much as you did.

“Yes. Please.” You pleaded, tugging on your restraints.

“Let’s get you wet.” JJ smirks, before lowering to his stomach between your thighs. His blue eyes stay on yours as he flicks his tongue across your clit. You gasp, watching as he does it over and over again; taking turns between sucking and licking. The familiar pool of heat deep inside gradually increased, your pants and mewls growing louder as he presses his tongue harder against your swollen nub.

JJ suddenly stops, raising to his knees to spit on your clit. He uses his fingers to smear his saliva through your slit and into your opening. You try to arch, lifting your hips to meet him but he quickly withdraws.

“JJ.” You breathe, aching to be filled.

“Patience, baby.” JJ grabs the bag and withdraws a wand vibrator. Your eyes widen as he pulls out rope also. He winds it around your inner thigh before securing the vibrator so it stays against your clit.

“Gonna need my hands.” JJ winks at you. You’re trembling in anticipation now as he withdraws a massive curved purple dildo next. He pulls out a set of anal beads and lube next, your eyes widening further.

“So,” JJ starts, flipping the wand onto its lowest setting. You yelp, the vibrations shocking you to your core. “—, you ignored me for 6 or 7 hours today, right? Because you were mad.” JJ cocks his head at you, watching as your thighs start to tremble in anticipation.

“Answer me.” JJ growls, his eyes ablaze as he turns the wand up higher.

“Yes! Yes I was mad and I ignored you!” You cry, panting as the sensation becomes almost painful.

“You did it on purpose to teach me a lesson because you were mad.” JJ pulls you further down the bed so your legs can bend and your hands are pulled tight.

“So, I’m going to teach you a lesson.” His deep husky voice and the wicked glint in his eyes has you almost fearful. You knew you’d be punished but nothing like this. You gasp as he pours a vigorous amount of lube over your mound and down your slit.

“You’re going to cum 7 times for me, baby.” JJ’s blue eyes meet yours before he slowly starts to insert one bead past your tight ring of muscle. You keen, your back threatening to arch as he pushes in two then three. It burns but the pleasure from the wand dulls the pain.

“I know you’re a greedy slut but you don’t get to cum yet. Not till I say so.” JJ warns, turning the wand back down to its lowest setting as you lay there whimpering and shaking.

“JJ, please, I’m sorry. I didn’t—.”

“No. You had your chance to apologize. Now you’re going to take your punishment. You’re going to be stuffed as much as I want and you’re not getting my cock. Maybe when we’re done I’ll cum on your face so you can taste me but that’s it.”

“JJ, please, I—.” Your words as cut off when he shoves the thick dildo inside your pussy, earning a high pitched cry from you as your orgasm remains just out of reach. You were already on the brink but his slow, torturous movements kept you from reaching it.

“Please, I need to cum!” You beg as he starts to fuck you faster, his hair hanging in his eyes as he watches the thick member disappear inside your soaked cunt. You felt him press another bead inside your ass, the full feeling increasing until your burst at the seems. You screamed, the stimulation too much as it wrecked you from the inside out.

Panic set in, knowing you’d fucked up from cumming without permission. You didn’t have to look at him to know you’d only made things worse for yourself.

“We’re still at zero. It won’t count towards your total unless you have permission. Luckily, we have all night, baby girl.”

#smutwarning #outer banks smut #jj maybank smut #jj maybank fic #jj maybank imagine #obx2 #jj maybank fluff #jj maybank x you #rudy pankow #jj obx

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thevelria · 1 year

Text

A bit broken, a bit psycho, but all yours

Pairing: Yandere!Gojox Fem!Reader

Warning: 18+ only!!! heavy smut, oral (recieving both way), shower sex, toxic actions, angst

wordcount:3073

Author's note: Gojo being yandere has a thing on me lol Enjoy~

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It’s been years now that you got together with Satoru. He was oh so sweet and charming, being a complete fluff every single time he’s been around you. Compliments and sweet lies dripping from his perfect mouth. Of course you fell for the trick. Probably after the first year you started to feel that something was off. The always all-smile guy became a green eyed monster, who wanted to control every single step of yours.

But instead of you running away, you stayed, because you truly did think he was the one for you. A bit broken, a bit psycho, but all yours.

-What are you doing?- Gojo clicked his tongue irritated.

You’ve been scrolling through TikTok and you simply didn’t pay attention to him.

-I asked you a fucking question,Y/N! -his raised voice snapped you back.

-Huh? -you looked up from your phone.

-I asked -he pinched the bridge of his nose- what are you doing?

-Oh -you giggled, ignoring his tantrum.

-So? Are you texting your men who fuck you, when I’m not around?

-Satoru, please… -you rolled your eyes- Not this shit again.

Gojo was jealous, but not in a cute way. In a choking, toxic, annoying way. And the fact that after all these years he simply didn’t trust you made you feel angry and sad at the same time. His nonstop tantrum really got on your nerves. He could have been so much more, a perfect partner, a perfect lover, a perfect husband with time. But instead he stuck in the mud of jealousy, which was slowly eating him and yourself up.

He couldn't help his behavior, the single thought of you being with someone else, touched by someone else made his blood boil. You were his special one, only his. The way he loved you was abnormal, sick to a level, where there was no way back from.

The evening training started around 5pm as usual. All the sorcerers gathered together in the room and paired up. Most of the time you were paired with Gojo, but sometimes you got someone else. When you saw your name next to Nanami’s you already knew it was going to be fucked up.

-I’ll try not to kick your ass too hard-Nanami walked up to you, wearing sweatpants and a kinda loose shirt.

-Oh, you wish -you laughed in an instant- You have no chance against me -placing yourself in your fighting stance. You’ve been wearing your usual training suit, tight black shorts and a baby-blue tight tank top, which followed the curve of your body perfectly. Gojo argued about these clothes like a billion times, because he found it too revealing. You just waved at his words.

The first punch you received from Nanami felt like the air left your body. You bent down, hands on your stomach, while fighting with the unbearable pain.

-Fuck -you hissed, straightening yourself up, standing in the stance once again- Come -you waved your fingers at Nanami. He smirked and attacked again and again and again. You dodged most of the hits and threw some proper punches as well.

After a few minutes of intensive fist fighting for a brief second you let your guard down and he mercilessly took advantage of it. The punch hit you right on the jaw. The next you remember feeling a leg kicking yours out under you and you landed on the mattress with Nanami on top of you.

-Sorry, princess -he leaned in, whispering in your ear, making you chuckle.

Gojo heard Nanami’s husky voice even if he tried to whisper as low as possible. He froze in his action, slowly grabbing the blindfold between his long fingers and pulling it down, turning his face in the direction of you. His beautiful eyes widened and he felt as the rage rushed through his body. In an instant he appeared next to you, grabbing the shoulder of Nanami and tossing him away like he weighed nothing.

-How dare you flirt with my woman? -he clenched his jaw, taking off the blindfold completely.

-Satoru -you stood up, reaching for his hand- Please don’t make a scene, please -you begged.

But he didn’t listen to you and attacked the man in front of him. Even if Nanami was a strong one, he wasn’t a match to Gojo. The last thing you saw was Nanami’s ripped up lips and eyebrows, blood running down his face. Gojo punched him so many times so hard that his knuckles were sliced open.

As you took a deep breath you grabbed your stuff and simply left the room, heading home without saying a single word to anyone. On your way to your shared home thoughts were running through your mind. You wanted this madness to be ended and felt like you were not able to do this anymore. Tears building up in your eyes from frustration made you even angrier. You loved Gojo with all your heart, but the way he acted towards you and everyone else around you was just not acceptable anymore.

-This is it -you sighed, wiping your eyes with the back of your bandaged hand.

You parked down your car, entering your home and walking straight to the bedroom. Standing in front of the wardrobe you took a deep breath.

-It’s gonna be the best for both of us -you kept persuading yourself, while grabbing a luggage and stuffing your clothes into it.

Your body clenched to the noise, when Gojo closed the front door, hearing his footsteps towards the room made you feel nauseous. You were afraid, but determined at the same time.

-Baby -he leaned against the door frame- what are you doing?

You kept silent, packing without a break.

-Love, please -he took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose- How many more times will we go through this?

-Stop it, Satoru. We’re done. I’m not doing this any longer -your cold voice terrified him. Mostly you yelled at him, threw random things towards him. But not this time. You seemed way too calm and it made him feel uneasy.

-Y/N -he walked behind you, placing his huge palms on your waist. His touch caused your body to shiver.

-I don’t want to hear it -you shook your head- I cannot live like this!

Gojo panicked, felt desperate and hopeless. Were you bluffing? Or were you seriously about to leave him? The emotional spiral he found himself in squeezed him from the inside. He felt a knot building up in his chest, his breath became heavy and uneven.

His hands grabbed you hard, turning you around to face him. His Adam’s apple bobbed the second he looked you in the eyes. Seeing the pure coldness in them destroyed him in an instant.

-Baby, please don’t leave me -he whispered- I’m sorry, okay? I’m really really sorry -he kept bubbling. But your expression didn’t change a bit, you’ve witnessed this way too many times. Empty promises, sweet lies, nothing else.

-Just leave me alone -you sighed, rolling your eyes. But he wasn’t able to let you go, his hand stood still on your body.

-Y/N, I mean it -he frowned- I…I don’t even know what’s gotten into me. Seeing that dick atop of you -he clenched his jaw.

-That’s the problem, Satoru -you placed your palm on his chest- That you never think before you act. What could have possibly happened? Hm? You thought he was about to fuck me right then, right there? You are ridiculous -you laughed with so much pain in your voice.

-No, no of course not -he mumbled- Fuck, I don’t know -he collapsed on his knees, burying his face into his palms. Hearing him sobbing made your eyes wide. Was he…was he truly crying?

-Hey…hey -you sat on your heels as well, placing your hand on his. You have never seen him like this before. He was always so arrogant, so prideful, not showing his true feelings. And now he was here…crying in front of you shamelessly.

-Please stay, you know how fucking much I love you -his voice cracked and it melted your heart right away.

-Oh ‘Ru -you dropped your hands around his neck, pulling him in a tight hug- You can be such a freaking asshole -you chuckled, fighting with your own tears.

He buried his face into your neck, hugging you so tight you wondered if he was about to break your ribs. The second his lips pressed against your shoulder your body shivered.

-I love you -he planted featherlight kisses on your skin- More than anything in this goddamn life -he murmured.

You took a deep breath, while caressing the back of his neck, running your finger through his silky, white hair. Feeling his tongue licking your collarbone sent tensions between your legs.

Breaking the hug you pushed him a bit back, looking right into his eyes and witnessing the pure lust burning in them.

Gojo didn’t waste any more time and crashed his lips roughly against yours, kissing you with so much passion your body felt like jello. His tongue entered your mouth, eager to find yours, tasting every part of you.

The next thing you remember is him laying you down on the floor, spreading your legs with his knees, taking his shirt above his head and tossing it aside. Seeing his perfectly muscled torso made you wild. You bit your lower lip as you touched his flexed abs, lowering your palm down, following the shape of his V line with your index finger.

A low growl escaped his mouth as he grabbed your shorts, freeing you from them with ease.

-Wait -you pressed your hand against his chest.

-What? Why? -he frowned.

-I’m covered in sweat -you sat up-Come, let’s take a shower -you peaked a quick kiss on his cheek.

The devilish smirk on his face looked scary and hot at the same time.

As you entered the bathroom he hugged you from behind, pressing your back against his chest.

-Look how beautiful you are -he growled, while looking at you in the mirror on the wall.

-’Ru… -you blushed. He was an expert in compliments.

-Shh..- he hushed you- Just look at your beautiful face -he caressed your cheek, lower your neck, shoulder until your hip. Grabbing the bottom of your tanktop and pulling it off above your head, leaving you standing only in your underwear. -Damn, Y/N -he took a deep breath- Your breast are so fucking perfect -he palmed them hard, squeezing them gently.

-Do you see it? -he smirked, while staring at your body in the mirror once again.

-See what?

-Your perfect, beautiful body…Damn it girl -he clenched his jaw- You drive me crazy -he grabbed your panties, ripping them off with one move. Slowly moving his hand higher, unbuttoning your bra, letting your breast free. -I love every inch of you, Y/N -he bit your earlobe, making you moan -I love the way you moan, darling… -he whispered, lowering his palm on the side of your body until he reached your thigh.

-As much I hate your jealousy as much I love when you are dominant, ‘Toru -you grabbed his hand.

-Do you? -he smirked, sliding one of his fingers into your pussy.

-Oh the hell I am -you threw your head back, resting it on his chest.

He slowly moved the tip of his index finger on your clit, making small circles, which made your whole body shiver. You were about to lose yourself, when with his other hand he grabbed your hand and guided it down on your body.

-Let me see you pleasure yourself for me -he growled in your ear. You obeyed right away and slid your finger into your already wet pussy. Your finger moved in sync with his and the tension was mesmerizing. You moaned harder and harder as you felt the pleasure building up in your stomach second by second.

-Good girl -he licked his bottom lip, while staring at you in the mirror.

-’Ru- you moaned his name- I’m so close -you threw your free hand behind his neck, grabbing the back of his head.

-Then come for me, baby -he bit your neck.

His words sent the tension through your body and your orgasm bursted out immediately. You kept moaning and whining loudly as you rode your climax under your fingers.

-Damn -you breathed heavily- You are so bad… -you smiled, turning around and grabbing his bulge through his sweatpants.

Gojo freed himself from his clothes in an instant, standing in front of you completely naked. Your eyes were already fucking him and he noticed that. He loved seeing the lust in your eyes, it made him feel stronger, better…special.

-Do you like what you see, darling? -he tilted his head slightly.

-Oh shut up -you laughed, grabbing his hand, pulling him into the shower.

A deep sigh escaped your mouth the second you felt the hot water running down your body. Facing Gojo, pressing your lips against his roughly, passionately. He grinned in the kiss, when he noticed how eager you were to find his tongue.

Long minutes passed with kissing, when you finally broke it, gasping for some air. You put some shower gel on your palm, rubbing it over his body. Washing his strong chest, caressing his abs and lowering on his thighs and legs. Gently rubbing his dick, making him moan. After washing the gel off you went down on your knees in front of him. Looking into his impossibly blue eyes as you licked the tip of his hardened shaft.

-Fuck -he threw his head back, resting it on the tile covered wall.

A slight smirk crawled upon your face as you stroked him gently, moving your palm up and down, enjoying the husky voice of him moaning under your touch. You let your tongue dance around his tip, licking his whole length until the base and reverse.

-Y/N -he growled-please take me -he begged, holding your head in still, forcing you to obey no matter what. As you started to bob him, all his muscles flexed in his body. You weren’t gentle, you went really hard on him. A bit of revenge, letting out your anger on that beast in your mouth. You deepthroated him out of the blue and he let out the most animalistic moan you’ve ever heard.

-I’m so close -he roared. You didn’t even have time to react, before you felt him twitching and his hot semen hit the back of your throat. Squeezing him twice more then pulling him out and licking him clean with a satisfied smile on your face.

Gojo grabbed your shoulder and made you stand up in a blink of an eye, pressing his lips against yours, kissing you deep, tasting himself on your tongue. A loud moan escaped your mouth the moment his huge palm wandered down on your stomach, rubbing your already needy part between your legs. He kneeled down, softly grabbing one of your legs, throwing it on his shoulder.

-’Ru -you hissed as his tongue entered your pussy. His arrogant smirk was undeniable, because he knew…he knew you forgot his mistake once again. The way he was eating you sent you to another universe. His tongue danced on your clit, gently tapping and sucking on it. You rushed your fingers through his wet, crystal white hair, grabbing it harder, when he added one of his long fingers to make the tension deeper. You became a moaning mess as he kept pleasuring you in a way only he was capable of. Heavy breaths, louder moans rushed through the room as you felt your climax was about to burst out once again. It was his thing, he felt it was his duty to make you cum as many times as possible.

-I’m about to…-your sentence died midway into a lustful scream.

-Cum, baby…come for me -he held you still.

His husky voice sent shivers down your spine and you couldn’t hold it back anymore, riding your orgasm out right on his face. After you were down from your highs he stood up with a devilish smirk on his face. And you loved it, you loved how arrogant, how satisfied, how proud he looked.

Finishing the shower as quickly as possible, because you both knew it wasn’t going to be the end. No. You wanted to fuck him as much as he wanted to fuck you. Drying yourself with a fluffy towel you expected to bring this to the bedroom. Oh but how wrong you were. Gojo stepped behind you, gripping into the flash of your hips, pushing you down on the sink. You tiptoed, raising your ass a bit higher to make it easier for him to slide in.

-Fucking hell -you screamed as he pushed his whole length in, all of his 10 inches rushed through your pussy, clenching your walls around him in an instant.

-Baby -he breathed heavily- you feel so goddamn good. I love your tight pussy around my cock -he mumbled.

He pounded you without mercy, with lust, with anger. Biting down your neck, your back, anywhere he could have reached your bare skin, leaving marks behind.

-Tell me how much you love my dick! -he commanded, speeding up his pace.

-I love it a lot, ‘Ru!

-Good girl! -he smirked cockily- I will never let anyone else fuck this tight pussy. It’s mine! -he gritted his teeth, feeling really close to his climax once again.

Unholy sounds echoed through the bathroom, they way his balls were slapping against your pussy, the noise of the skin to skin contact pushed you close to your high as well.

A few more thrusts and you felt him pulsing, twitching inside of you, you clenched your walls around him harder than ever as you reached your high, making him moan in delusion.

-Y/N -he breathed heavily, staring into your eyes in the mirror with his dick still inside of you- I was serious. I’m not going to let anyone else to fuck you anymore. You are mine for eternity!

-I’m yours, baby -you closed your eyes, feeling the stupid love spreading in your body.

The ugly truth was that you were so deeply in love with this man that you didn’t see the toxicity slowly choking you to death.

#gojo thirst #gojo smut #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #yandere gojo #jjk smut #satoru smut #satoru x you #satoru x reader #jjk satoru #jjk gojo

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sashaisready · 7 months

Text

Chapter Two - Beige

Nick Fowler x Reader

Summary: Reader is a brilliant but shy and awkward CIA employee whose work is often overlooked by her colleagues…she’s blended into the background for so long that she doesn’t think there’s any other way - even if she does have secret aspirations for another life. Unbeknownst to her - a certain blue eyed agent is very aware of her talents, even if nobody else is.

Under the Radar Masterlist

< Chapter One - The Mouse

Warnings: 18+, lots of smut, angst!! (Smangst?)

Wordcount: 3504

You glanced over to the computer clock. Quitting time. You stretched and yawned as you closed your laptop for the day.

You did a quick scan of the office but Nick was nowhere to be seen. Probably rubbing shoulders with some bigwig somewhere. You packed your belongings and strolled out, waving goodbye to the few remaining colleagues and Grant the security guard on the front desk.

“See you tomorrow” said Agent Palmer with a smile as you passed him in the parking lot. You smiled back and wished him a good evening. You liked Palmer, he was one of the few agents who seemed grateful for your work and always took the time to chat. He was confident, but cheerier and less stoic than Nick. He had kind green eyes. Sorta cute, really…

You drove home and got back to your apartment, throwing together something resembling a dinner as you got into your sweats and poured yourself a glass of wine. You checked your phone, nothing from Nick. You rolled your eyes, you’d texted him earlier and he hadn’t replied. You were annoyed at his radio silence, but also at yourself for caring so much. When would you learn?

You spent some time texting your best friend, Annie, who would no doubt be scolding you for moping about Nick if she knew. Annie didn’t suffer fools gladly and had a finely tuned bullshit detector - so impressive that the CIA should snap her up. She knew all about your dalliance with Nick, and of course as your good friend - very plainly explained to you that you could (and should) do better.

She didn’t need to know you were annoyed about his lack of contact. You weren’t in the mood for a lecture.

You plopped down in front of the TV and watched a few episodes of some show before you felt your eyes getting heavy. You leaned back into the couch as you closed your eyes and-

KNOCKKNOCKKNOCK

A loud banging at the front door tore you from sleep. You frowned, checking the time before your stomach dropped. It was late. Who was that? A neighbour? Mass murderer? You did have a gun in your safe but-

KNOCKKNOCKKNOCK

“Open up princess, it’s me”.

You scoffed. Of course.

“It’s late Nick…” you called through the door.

“I know…so don’t leave me out here by myself. Anything could happen to me”.

You could practically see the devious smile he’d be wearing.

You rolled your eyes as you worked the latch and opened the door. He stood there grinning, leaning casually against the door frame. He’d shed his suit jacket and you could see his normally crisp white shirt was slightly dishevelled from a long day. He still looked good…annoyingly.

“You’re a big boy. You can handle yourself” you teased.

His grin grew even wider. “Still…I’d be much safer inside your fortress”.

You sighed in defeat and tilted your head to indicate he was welcome inside. He moved quickly, crossing the threshold and pressing you into the wall as he attacked your neck with his mouth, eliciting a surprised moan from you.

“Nick…” you said softly as you closed your eyes and let him kiss you from your cheek down to your collarbone.

“What, princess?” he replied between kisses, his voice husky with lust.

“You didn’t text me back. Or say hi at the office” you managed to whisper as his hands squeezed at your waist and began to pull your sweats down…

“I’m sorry, baby” he moaned as he dropped to his knees. “I’m here now…”

“Yeah but only for a quick fuc-Ooh!!” you gasped as he yanked your underwear down and buried his face into your mound, his tongue wasting no time as he explored your clit.

“Mm. No. You know that’s not true…” he drawled as he continued his assault.

You went to protest but the words died on your tongue as he slipped a finger inside of you and began to pump. If your body was a safe, he knew the code to break in. You were almost embarrassed at how wet you were, he always knew exactly how to play you.

“Oh she’s missed me…look how she takes me so hungrily” he whispered seductively as he inserted another finger and dove back in. You whimpered and your knees buckled but he held you upright with his other hand, forcing your back flat against the wall.

“I’ve missed my girl” he said softly. “All of her…my beautiful princess”.

Calling you ‘his girl’ always lit you up like a 300 watt bulb. You whined as words failed you and you allowed yourself to give in, your body going slack as you fisted his hair and rocked your hips back against his face. He moaned at the feeling and you felt his tongue vibrate as he did, sparking your climax and leaving you to cum hard on his tongue. You whimpered and sighed as you held his face, feeling the fireworks as your body shuddered and your lip quivered. He coaxed you through it, uttering a string of praises against you as he manoeuvred his fingers and nuzzled into you.

You felt your legs give out and you sagged against the wall, Nick let you slip down onto the floor before scooping you up into his lap and resting your head on his shoulder.

“That’s my girl” he whispered as he planted a gentle kiss onto your crown.

You babbled somewhat incomprehensibly as he picked you up in his strong arms and carried you to your bedroom. He knew the way of course. He flipped you over as he approached your bed, gently laying you on your front as he pulled your legs up and parted your thighs. You bit your lip with anticipation, still high from your orgasm, as you heard the jangle of his belt and the soft thump of his pants hitting the floor.

He pulled your legs forward and he was suddenly inside of you faster than you could comprehend. You let out a low moan as you felt the fullness of him, his large cock buried to the hilt as he groaned and gave your ass a firm slap. You shuddered as his thrusts started, he didn’t even build up to it like he normally would - he went straight in at full power, his hips pistoning relentlessly as you crumpled onto the sheets beneath.

“I’m sorry princess, you got me all worked up” he husked. “I can’t hold back”.

You merely mewled in response, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling your ears, then the salacious squelch of your pussy as he continue to pound. You’d almost be shy about its obscenity if you weren’t so drunk on the sensation. His hands gripped your hips so tightly you expected bruises in the morning.

“You’re always so b-beautiful…so perfect” he stammered, his breathing heavy. “My beautiful girl. My good girl”.

His words somehow cut their way through your stupor and you found yourself drunkenly smiling. He was always so sweet when he got in these moods.

He upped the speed as you keened and squirmed and he moved a hand to your clit, pushing you over the edge as he circled it with his fingers. You cried out as you came, your hands clenching your bedsheets as Nick groaned and followed suit. His hips stuttered and you felt the warmth bloom within as he filled you up, his spend laying claim.

He sighed as he tenderly kissed your shoulder and gently pulled out, both of you panting. You exhaled and sunk into the mattress but he heaved you off the bed and you groaned as he carefully carried you to the bathroom.

He ran the shower as he unbuttoned his shirt and manoeuvred your body underneath the warm water. You grumbled, exhausted and just wanting to just curl up in bed and pass out, but he knew you too well - if you woke up in the night you’d feel uncomfortable still sticky and sweaty. You begrudgingly let the water fall into your face - then felt immediately grateful for the warmth and comfort it brought you.

He came in behind you and began the same routine he always did. He would take your loofah and wash you, ensuring every inch was catered to. He would clean the tacky residue between your legs and wipe down your limbs. Your breasts. Your bottom. He would take your shampoo and meticulously wash your hair as you stood with your eyes closed, allowing him to take care of you.

This was never sexual, despite how he touched you. This was always tender. Slow. Never a word spoken. A purely physical language that just the two of you shared. In many ways this was far more intimate than having sex with him. In the bedroom he fucked, but in the bathroom he loved. You always enjoyed the sex, but it was these moments afterwards that you truly cherished.

Afterwards he would dry both of you with a towel and lead you back to the bedroom. You’d throw on an old t-shirt and some underwear and climb into bed. He’d climb in with you, often just in his boxers. Sometimes naked. And then he would hold you. Hold you tightly. Nuzzle his nose into your shoulder blades. Press his forehead to yours. Sometimes you’d talk. Sometimes it was silent. Sometimes for minutes, sometimes for hours. It was during this time that you thought maybe the two of you could really be something. Maybe you weren’t crazy, maybe there was something there.

But he always left.

And that’s what he did now. Getting out of bed and retrieving his strewn about clothes. Slipping his shoes on as you peered over at him from the sheets. You were foggy with sleep, you’d slipped away for a little while in his arms.

“You know you always have an open invitation to stay over” you said meekly, knowing full well what was coming next.

“Oh I know, thank you princess. And I’d love to. But I gotta get back. Early briefing in the morning”. He smiled sympathetically.

A lie. You weren’t sure if he just forgot you could see his schedule, or if he was arrogant enough not to care that you could.

He had never stayed over. And he only ever had you come to his place in the daytime or early evening. It was the same thing every time, only the details changed. Sometimes it was a morning briefing. Sometimes he was just ‘so tired’. Sometimes he would say that you clearly needed a good night’s rest and he’d only be in the way.

Well, there was that one time…

A few months ago, the routine had gone as it always had but this time Nick had fallen asleep as he held you. You had too, not realising what had happened until your eyes shot open at 4am - panicking as you realised you couldn’t move, a heavy weight on you, only to soon see that it was because of Nick. Nick encasing you in his arms. Nick’s light snores in your ear. Nick’s nose pressed into your hair.

You didn’t move, not wanting to wake him. But inwardly you’d squealed. He’d stayed! He hadn’t left. You smiled as you drifted back to sleep, an inner warmth engulfing you as you wondered what this might mean.

But of course…he was gone by morning. You never even heard him get up. Your heart sank, but you should’ve known it was too good to be true. Neither of you had ever mentioned it since. He probably didn’t even know you’d realised he’d been there.

And back to now. He’s leaving once again. Like he always does.

Normally you put up and shut up. Just happy to have any time with him at all. Just trying to stay calm and show how breezy and relaxed you were. You wanted to be a cool girl for him…not needing labels or constant reassurance. Always secretly hoping that the next time would be different. That you could convince him to stay.

…convince him to love you back.

But you knew you couldn’t.

Annie’s voice rang in your ears - you could do better.

And you could.

Annie wouldn’t put up with this. Annie wouldn’t accept being a quick fuck in the dead of night, then ignored at the office the next day.

Enough was enough.

You weren’t really sure where it came from. Which straw broke the camel’s back exactly. But you’d been pushed to your limit. You couldn’t keep on with this weird half relationship anymore. You couldn’t cope with the anxiety of never knowing when he’d be hot and when he’d be cold. When he might appear at your front door. You couldn’t take being held so gently at night, then barely looked at in the office the following day. Ignored texts. No dates. Your heart couldn’t take that, and deep down you knew it was because he’d be embarrassed, no ashamed, to be seen with you. You were a dirty secret. Something to be hidden in the night. Never good enough for him fully. The truth was you loved him, and it hurt you deep inside that he didn’t love you back.

You felt your blood boil as every bad feeling you’d been suppressing for all these months suddenly rose to the surface.

“You don’t have to lie, Nick” you scoffed.

Nick turned as he was buttoning up his shirt, his eyebrow raised in confusion as he responded to your tone.

“What?”

“I know you don’t have a briefing in the morning. Why don’t you just be a man and tell the truth? You don’t want to stay” you practically snarled.

He laughed derisively. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me”.

He paused, his nose wrinkled in annoyance as he moved to the bed.

“Princess…”

“Don’t ‘Princess’ me” you shot back angrily. “No pet names. No distractions with sex. Just tell me what your problem is”.

His eyes widened momentarily before his features darkened.

“Have I ever lied to you about what this is?” He growled. “Have I ever led you to believe this was something it wasn’t?”

His tone surprised you. You expected more of his smooth talking to talk you down, not for him to actually respond to your challenge. But it didn’t quash any of your own anger.

“No, but-” you started.

“Exactly” he stepped closer to the bed, moving his face to be level with yours. “When we started this…I told you what I wanted. I told you I don’t do serious. I told you I wanted fun. You agreed. So don’t act like I’ve pulled the rug out from under you, princess”.

You blinked back at him, momentarily stunned by his outburst. Technically he was correct. He hadn’t necessarily pretended he wanted more than he’d given you. But it wasn’t as simple as he was implying. You weren’t going to let him off that easily.

“Nick…” you said firmly, not breaking eye contact. “We may be having fun, but I still deserve respect. I deserve consistency. Acting like I don’t exist in the office, not texting me back, then showing up at my apartment late at night and turning on the charm and the sweet talking…that’s not…”

“What?? We’re at work, we have jobs to do” he spat back. “You expect me to be all over you? To kiss you and touch you when we’re meant to be professional?”

“No! But you don’t even acknowledge me most of the time. It’s like I don’t exist at work-“

“Jesus! I’m trying to do my job, I’m a CIA agent in case you hadn’t noticed. I’ve got important work to do, a lot of weight on my shoulders - I can’t spend all day validating your self esteem…”

You blanched slightly, wounded by his words. You didn’t like the assumption that you were somehow precious and needed mollycoddling. That’s not what you were suggesting at all.

“I’m not asking you to!” You shouted. “There’s a middle ground between fucking me in the office and treating me like a ghost. Fuck, Nick!”

He sighed heavily. “Look…okay. Fine. Maybe you’re right, and I could do better there. Alright? I just don’t want anyone getting any ideas about us…But I never claimed to be Prince Charming. I thought you knew that. I thought we were on the same page…”

“And why would it be so bad if someone did ‘get ideas’ about us, Nick?? Are you really so embarrassed by us that you need to go to such lengths to keep it quiet?”

He rolled his eyes. “No. I’ve told you before…I don’t want anyone knowing my private business. It’s my personal life. I don’t want that being known at work”.

You scoffed. “Oh cut the crap. We both know the truth. You’re ashamed. I’m your dirty little secret. And you’re too much of a pussy to admit it…”

He scowled. His voice angrier now. “Now a goddamn minute, that’s not true…”

You knew you should stop but couldn’t. Your words were a runaway train, unstoppable and coming fast.

“What exactly is the truth, huh Nick?” You sat up in bed, kneeling in front of him. Practically nose to nose as you finally unleashed how you really felt.

“Cos you say it’s just fun….and that would be fine….but why do you take me in the bathroom like that afterwards?”

He flinched. His cool demeanour wobbling for just a second. But you caught it.

“What do you mean?” He asked stoically. Composure retained.

“Why do you clean me like that?” You hissed. “You wash me tenderly in the shower…you hold me in bed for hours at a time…but then you run out before you fall asleep. You ignore my texts. You act like I don’t exist in the office. So which is it? Am I just a bit of fun? Or something else? Who spoons their situationship for hours Nick? Who washes their hair? Cos I sure as shit don’t know anyone who does that for their fuck buddy”.

His expression slipped for a moment and he looked at you with such vulnerability and pain that it almost hurt to look at him.

But it was gone as quickly as it appeared. His trademark glare returned and he clenched his jaw. He pulled back slightly and smirked, his anger pouring off of him in waves. You flinched, suddenly aware that he was gearing up for attack…

“You know…maybe you’re right” he said coolly, almost laughing.

Your tilted your head to look at him, unsure of what exactly he was admitting to.

“Maybe…maybe I am ashamed of you” he growled.

You wilted, retreating into the pillows as your stomach tightened. You realised you had unleashed something you wouldn’t be able to put back.

“I mean. Why wouldn’t I be?” He barked derisively, moving away from the bed and slipping on his shoes, as casually as if he was telling you about his day.

“You’re cute and all. And yeah you fuck like a champ…but you’ve been at the CIA for five years. Still an Assistant. No progression. No drive. Others who started the job after you get promoted ahead of you. You’re too cowardly to step out of your comfort zone and try something you’re not great at. The Directors don’t even know your name. Neither do most of your colleagues…you just…you’re beige, Princess. You’re…nothing”.

He turned to you, studying you as if he was interrogating a suspect. “So yeah. Maybe you’re right and I don’t want people to know about you because of how it makes me look. Maybe I was just trying to protect you feelings. Make you feel good. But I guess that makes me the bad guy”.

He shrugged mockingly, turning back from you to lace up his shoes.

“Is that what you wanted to hear?” He asked as he kneeled down. “Was it worth all your needling?”

He finally looked back at you. You must’ve looked a sight…your mouth open in shock, eyes wide and watery with the tears you had desperately tried to fight back. You’d shrunk back into the pillows, small and wounded.

His features softened. “Baby…” he sighed, his tone gentle now. “Look…you can’t provoke me like that and not expect a reaction. I..”

“Get…out” you whispered.

He sighed and tried to speak again but you aggressively launched a pillow at him. He dodged it and scratched his chin as if trying to work out what to say next.

“I said get out” your voice was quiet, but your tone unmistakable.

He begrudgingly nodded and headed to the bedroom door. As he grabbed the handle it looked like he might say something else…but he simply left without another word.

Part of you was hoping he would fight to stay.

You waited until you heard the soft latch of your front door closing before you allowed yourself to cry.

No drive.

Beige.

Nothing.

>Chapter Three - Now or Never

#nick fowler x you #nick Fowler #nick fowler x reader #sebastian stan #the 355 #under the radar fic

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valentinedaughtler · 7 months

Text

Tainted Opal (Part 3)

Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

Part 1 Part 2

3 - Pirates

T/Ws: violence, romantic feelings, blood, mild spice scenes sometimes, fem!reader and she/her pronouns, sexual abuse/trauma (not explicit)

Synopsis: You prepare for the heist, boarding the ship with Kaz and his Crew. (Domestic fluff with the crows)

REQUESTS: OPEN✅

__________________________________________

The port was cold, but not in a comforting manner. It was the type of chill that felt like needles were lodged in your throat when you took a breath. No one in Ketterdam seemed to mind though, especially the people who probably had needles lodged in their throats. It was the Barrel after all.

My hair came undone from the wind, trickling down my neck and shoulders. It appeared aflame in the fiery sunrise.

The tapping of a cane alerted me of Kaz's presence. I turned around to see a crowd of six misfits, all coming my way. My crew. Well, Kaz's crew.

The tallest was pale, with long, blond hair that cascaded down his shoulders. His eyes were shadowed by thick, creased eyebrows. Beside him was a blue eyed, auburn haired girl with full lips and freckles. She was curvier, her dress accentuating her figure. Finally, standing between Inej and Jesper was a timid boy, he looked slightly younger than me, but only due to his round face and soft eyes. His fluffy hair puffed awkwardly in places, he looked so short next to Jesper.

I smiled as I made my way across the docks to them. Kaz towered over me, looking down at me with a smirk. He gestured to the crew, introducing each one and their skills.

"Lovely," I purred with a satisfied expression, my dress flowed, kicking up dust, as I spun to the direction of the boat; my boat.

The ship was grand, with ornate wooden carvings at the mass: every knot in the wood had flowers etched into them. The sail was my favorite color, and it looked incandescent as sunlight poured through. The Crows looked up, some uncomfortable, others awestruck, but Kaz's expression stayed a neutral scowl.

"Well, quite a ride you have," Kaz rasped. He made it clear he was mocking me. I huffed softly and began to load up the boat with the rest of the Crows.

"Brekker, we've both made a name for ourselves in this city from theft. We just chose to invest in different forms," I reply, my voice carried with a heavy feeling of pride. The boy didn't respond, but I saw him smirk before bringing more crates to the ship. My gaze fell on the timid explosives expert, Wylan. He struggled the lift the crate filled with ammo, beads of sweat forming on his temples. "Here, let me help you," I smiled softly and with a wink, I easily lifted the load. I heard Wylan squeak out a 'thank you.' I laid it down on the ship's storage quarters with a soft thud before returning to the dock to repeat the process.

The tall woman, the heartrender, walked over to me after the ship was fully loaded. Nina. I remembered her name. My sultry eyes met hers, and my lips curved into a little smile.

"I admire a woman who can pull the weight of men," she joked. Charisma radiated off of her in beams, similarly to me, but in very different ways. I chuckled, even I noticed how it sounded like if you could blow bubbles with honey.

"Thank you very much, me as well."

✵ ♣ ✵

The rocking of the sea felt familiar in my heart. As I smelled the salty air my mind began to flood with memories. He told me to be careful by the edge of the boat... but I guess he never warned-

"Brooding in the back of a ship with the sea?" I heard Kaz's husky voice ask. I didn't turn my head, but I offered him a soft laugh. He walked up to stand against the edge of the boat with me, clasping his gloved hands together. I eyed his cane, with was leaning next to his right hip. The top was a metal crow head.

It was hard to maintain the whole Seductress demeanor for such long periods of time, but I attempted to remain flirty and calm. Kaz's eyes drifted as the boat rocked, he stared at the expanse of ocean. "I hate the sea, but I've ignored it for long enough. Finally get to put this boat use," I said with a sigh.

"Then why did you buy a boat?" There was a hint of humor in his voice. I pretend to ponder that question for a moment, but I knew the reason. I knew it all too well.

"It was this or a dungeon in my basement," I replied, looking at the profile of his face, "and this one didn't require home renovations." I continued. I wasn't just going to tell him the real reason-

"You're a terrible liar."

My eyebrows raised to my forehead, and my eyes met his. He continued without waiting for a verbal response, "Your bottom lip quivers before you speak if you are about to tell a lie." His face is rested in a slight scowl, but his eyes are laughing at my flushed face. My cheeks burned with embarrassment. He opened his scarred lips once again to speak, "it's called a 'tell' in poker."

✵ ♣ ✵

Two weeks rolled by in a swift motion, the sea rocking the boat all the while. Wylan wasn't doing too good with the constant sway at first, but he managed.

I'd became quite close with the Crows as the days past, and I stopped feeling the need to personify myself as a Seductress. Now I was just y/n. I don't mind myself being let in to others. After all, if you don't let them in, you can let them go easily. Mornings were spent hoisting sails and cooking, days for navigating and watching. Evenings consisted of laughter and dinner, nights reserved for planning and rest.

We each had bunks, but I spent most of my nights planning for when we reached Ravka with Kaz in the cabin's office. Sometimes I just sat and read while he worked or Inej and I would sharpen her knives, Saints, she loved those knives.

Matthias and Nina were on cooking duty for tonight, and once it was served Jesper made an announcement.

"Before we departed on our journey," he began with a comical, dramatic tone. "I purchased seven pirate hats, after two weeks sailing, I believe we deserve them!" He sprung up from his seat and ran down to the bottom deck. He quickly returned with said hats, and I had to admit, they seemed authentic...

"For each of us! I now declare us honorary pirates," Jesper shouted to the deep blue sky dusted with stars. A few of us laughed as he granted each of a hat. "I'm not sure I should give my dear Wylan one though, he doesn't seem sea ready," the sharpshooter joked before kissing Wylan on the cheek. I giggled before interjecting.

"Ah, I don't know, I believe Wylan would be a mighty fine pirate." I said with a toothy grin, my eyes sparkling at the dinner's commotion. I noticed that Kaz eyed me keenly, his pupils dilating as I smiled. He's an odd one.

As Jesper attempted to place a hat on Kaz's groomed hair, he was met with a cane to the ankles. The lanky man let out a groan of pain before collapsing on the wooden deck with a laugh. I loved the lively ambiance. It reminded me a bit of home. Home. I thought to myself. I shook off the complicated concept of my past before turning my attention to Kaz.

"Oh come on Brekker, wear the hat like everyone else," my tone was playful, but my eyes demanded it, for Jesper's sake. Kaz huffed and he was obviously irritated. I grabbed his hat and place it on his head, but I too was met with his cane. My boot hit it with a metallic thnuck as the cane whipped through the air. I took this as an opportunity to hoist myself into the air from atop his cane. The hat left my grasp and floated softly onto Kaz's head. I grinned as I did a flip, landing safely on my feet behind him.

The other Crows laughed and applauded when I bowed dramatically. Jesper hollered at me.

"Damn, y/n, 'bought time someone beat Kaz at something-," Jesper silenced himself abruptly as Kaz's gaze pierced through his skull. I regained my spot in the dinner circle between Nina and Inej, locking eyes with the scowling Crow, who now wore a pirate hat. I noticed, despite his locked jaw and frown, there was a glint of something in his eyes, but I wasn't sure what.

After dinner, I made my way to the office, it was mine, but Kaz seemed to claim it as his work space. I suspected he just went there to escape the rambunctious atmosphere at the dinners.

I noticed him staring at a map of Ravka again with scribbled notes covered it, his scrawled handwriting filling empty parts of the page. The warm candlelight illuminated his sharp edges, and exaggerated the dark parts of him. Like where his face caved under his cheekbones or where the lines under his eyes were gray. His scars looked pale against his skin, wisps of loose hair covering one on his forehead. I realized I was blushing, my cheeks dusted with a soft pink. He's quite nice looking...

"Are you going to stand there all night or come in?" He grumbled with sharp undertones. I entered the small room and pulled a dusty chair up to the opposing side of Kaz's— my- desk. He paid me no mind and his gloved fingers continued to scribble on the map. My mouth began to move before my brain approved,

"Why do you always wear gloves?"

His writing halted, but his expression did not warp. He quickly resumed his task.

"Why do you know how to navigate the sea and use a ship so well on a boat you claim to never use?" He combated. My mind went silent. I cursed myself for speaking in the first place. We both stayed silent for a while, not bringing up the topic again.

"What are you writing?" My soft voice sliced the silence like one of Inej's knives. Kaz looked up at me, his gaze harsh.

"I never suspected you'd be so inquisitive," his husky voice made my bones shiver, and I felt the blush creepy back up onto my cheeks. I liked the way he sounded. "I'm attempting to find the most officiant route to get us to Arx's destination." His words released me from my trance, but made me focus on his scarred lips. I wonder how the scar would feel against my lip- what am I thinking? I shook away my thoughts and nodded at him.

"Well, I'm much better with sea routes, but my- well, I've been told that the most bandit-free paths are through Fjerda due to the relentless snow." I pointed at the map, tracing the roads I was referring to. He hummed in response, but I noticed his gaze fixated on me. I began to smile, for reasons unknown to my conscious mind, I smiled.

"Are you sure about this? Fjerda may have less bandits, but they have quite a few Drüskelles, little tailor."

"I like you, Kaz." I purr, using his first name. As I did so, I saw a mild flush appear on his ears. "You're cautiously optimistic," I smirk and narrow my eyes. His eyebrows creased but he chuckled. He's slightly softer when less people are around.

I lifted myself from the chair and sauntered my way towards the door, "Good night, Kaz."

"Good night, y/n."

✵ ♣ ✵

The following morning began as those previous to it did, I washed my face in my cabin with stored water and changed my clothes. I slipped on a frilly, white dress that stopped at my knees and layered a brown, leather corset on top of it. I put my hair into braids and tied my leather boots tight. I finally put stud earrings on, they were silver crows. Before I left the cabin I grabbed the pirate hat Jesper had gifted me, smiling at the emblem that read 'Captain'.

My made my way to the top deck, the sun filtering through the sails, laying a sheer blanket of light over my face. I was the first one up, or so I thought. I looked over to my right, at what should have been an open expanse of sea, but it wasn't.

Fear rose in my stomach and into my throat like bile. I rushed down the creaky stairs of the boat and into the bunks. "Everyone, you need to wake up," my voice echoed off the walls and shook the five crowd awake... five?? Where's-

My feet took off once again until I reached the office Kaz seemed to have made his home. I rattled the knob and swung open the door. Kaz looked up, confused, as he shot up from the desk. He clutched his cane and stared at me, a mix of irritation and shock in his eyes.

"What made you burst in? Did Jesper and Wylan light something on fire again-?"

I couldn't get out a sentence, but I managed to blurt out one word,

"Pirates,"

________________

Word Count: 2203

________________

Please feel free to imagine yourself wearing or having a different hairstyle/texture at any point through the story, feel free to ask for specific outfits, hairstyles for later parts of the story.

-Valentine

#fanfic #fem reader #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #nina zenik #opalring #matthias helvar #pirates #six of crows #shadow and bone #seductress

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julieverne · 7 months

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The new Medical Examiner stayed in the basement. When she went out on a scene, she was covered head to foot in tyvek, a floppy hat on her head, an umbrella held over her.

"Cause of death?"

"Impossible to determine at this stage," Doctor Maura Isles said, despite the gaping wound in the torso. Jane sighed and shook her head, shifting the umbrella she held for the doctor, who fixed her in place with a stare.

"I burn very easily," Maura reminded her.

"Yeah, you said," Jane said, rolling her eyes. She held the umbrella still, though, looking down at the other woman. Pale, pale skin, the kind that would burn easily. Dark clothes - although Jane was also in dark clothes the didn't seem to contrast so starkly against her tanned skin. Red, red lips. Maura looked up again, and Jane looked away quickly, swallowing. She saw Maura's nostrils flare, a little smile on those taunting lips.

---

In the morgue, Maura seemed even smaller and paler, the bright lights flooding her out, making her blue veins visible. Jane paced nervously, but Maura didn't seem to mind. She seemed to welcome the company. The blinds were closed, and the evening was rolling in.

Jane paused as Maura drew some blood, watching the way Maura licked her lips as she did so. Maura looked up, startled, then put the vials on the lab tray.

"He's missing half his torso, what is his blood going to tell you?"

"You'd be surprised," Maura said, taking them into the lab. Jane stared down into the ragged hole where internal organs should be. Maura came back, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand before sliding her glove back on.

The autopsy was short, mostly because there were no organs to retrieve or examine. Jane helped Maura slide the body into cold storage, as much forensic evidence as they could retrieve already stored in the lab. Jane followed Maura in, taking off her gown and leaving it in the receptacle. Maura followed suit, removing her gloves too. There was a smudge of blood where Maura had wiped her mouth, and there was a test tube missing.

That wouldn't be suspicious if there hadn't been a spate of drained bodies around the city.

Jane looked away quickly as Maura washed her hands.

"I'm done."

"Do you want to grab some dinner?"

"I had a snack earlier, I'm fine."

"A drink, then?"

Maura eyed Jane with curiousity. Then she nodded.

"Sure. Why not?"

---

Jane had thought of the new ME as a quiet, serious woman, but after a drink or two she relaxed. Her smile came more readily. She had two little teeth that were very cute, a little sharp, a little pointed.

"I live right around the corner," Jane said, when the bar closed down. Maura nodded and followed her. She paused in the doorway, peering in, her nose scrunched as she took in the hockey sticks and trophy case.

"Come in, come in," Jane said impatiently. She staggered over to the kitchen cabinet. "Anything to drink? I have, like, green tea. And coffee."

"Coffee?"

"Powdered." Jane's nose scrunched, and Maura chuckled, closing the door behind her. Her hazel eyes flashed with mischief as she closed in on Jane.

"I think we both know I'm not here for something to drink," Maura said, her voice low and husky. Her hands closed around Jane's hips, gripping them tight as she tilted her head back to look up into Jane's face. "But I am very, very thirsty. Seeing you swagger around with all your long limbs all day. The way you bite your lip when you look at me. The way I can see your abs though your shirt." Maura bit her own lip, her elongated eye teeth catching and pulling at the plush, plump flesh. "Tell me I'm wrong?"

"You're not wrong," Jane rasped, her voice caught in her chest. She couldn't quite close the gap between them, but Maura didn't hesitate, brushing her lips against Jane's with a satisfied exhale that slipped past Jane's open lips and lodged in her chest. She found her own hands grasping Maura, pulling her closer, those teeth retracting when they scraped her lips. Their height difference meant Maura had easy access to Jane's throat, which she pressed her lips to, scraping her teeth lightly against Jane's jugular, making Jane shudder and remember the little spot of red she'd seen on Maura's lips as she came back from the lab, the reddish brown stain Mara had washed from her hand where she'd wiped it. Jane led Maura into the bedroom, but Maura baulked at the door.

Jane had a cross over the bed. Maura hissed, eyeing it with distaste. Her teeth seemed longer now, somehow. Jane quirked an eyebrow at Maura's reaction.

"I'm really only lapsed Catholic," Jane told Maura. "My mother insisted. I think she thought it would keep me from premarital sex. If it bothers you I'll take it down." Jane plucked it from the wall and shoved it in a drawer. She went to touch Maura, but the other woman pulled away with another hiss.

"We should wash our hands, if we're going to continue. We've been out in a bar, and there are places I'd like to touch you without introducing foreign bacteria."

Jane rolled her eyes but complied easily, not even having second thoughts about her first time with a woman. Maura kissed the back of her neck as she washed up, and then washed her own hands, dragging Jane back to the bedroom.

---

Jane woke with Maura's head on her chest. The light was filtering in through Jane's net curtains, and she sighed contentedly. The light struck Maura's bare shoulder, and her skin started to simmer, as though it was a steak on a griddle. Jane covered the shoulder with a sheet, not worried at all.

Maura woke, flinching from the sunlight.

"So. You're a vampire, huh?"

"What gave it away?" Maura asked breezily, not worried about having her cover blown.

"I had to invite you in. The cross scared you. Your skin smokes in sunlight."

"You're remarkably calm."

"You know what Hoyt did to me. This doesn't come close. Besides, only someone like me could have survived him."

"I knew you smelled of something. What are you?"

"Succubus, obviously."

"That explains a lot. You didn't have to seduce me. You could have just asked if I was a vampire. I'd have told you. I trust you, against my better judgement."

"I didn't use any of my seduction on you, and I didn't feed off you. And you didn't bite me. I think that makes our working relationship promising."

"I work in the morgue because I can't feed off live people," Maura mumbled against Jane's collarbone, as though she was ashamed of her inability to harm humans.

"And I work with homicide, but I make sure I feed off the sex criminals that come through the station. Not - not like that. Ugh, no. Not like - not like how we were last night. That was just for - just because. I didn't use anything to make you want me, and I didn't feed off you either. But I'm sure, if you're ever unable to get fresh blood, you could probably use me. If you wanted to."

"That's a very generous offer, but I don't want to hurt you."

Jane closed her arms tighter around Maura, a happy smirk on her face.

"As a detective, I do have to ask if you know anything about these bodies showing up without any blood. Friends of yours?"

"Hardly. My - my biological family. I was adopted, and they raised me vegan, which I appreciate. But it looks like my biological family has found me and is hunting me down." Maura nuzzled in closer to Jane, her tongue flicking for a moment over the pulse in Jane's throat, her lips and teeth pressed against it as Jane pressed against her with a moan. Aware the mood had shifted drastically, Maura moved away reluctantly. "I'm scared, Jane. I don't want to be like them. I like solving murders. I like working alone. I don't like to be around people in case I hurt them. I don't want to hurt anyone."

"You wouldn't," Jane said tenderly, stroking Maura's hair. "We can find them first. I'm a detective. You're a doctor. We can find them, and make sure they leave town, if that's what you want." Jane looked uncertain about wanting to kill or banish Maura's relatives, and Maura kissed her again for her sweetness.

"We?" she asked shyly, aware that there was a bond between them. It wasn't often two supernatural species consummated, but when they did, the imprint was strong and usually bonded them for life. She'd made her choice last night, not quite sure what Jane was but knowing from her scent that she wasn't entirely human. She'd trusted Jane, and it felt like for once she'd made the right choice.

"We," Jane agreed, kissing Maura slowly and tenderly. "Right after I get some proper blackout curtains."

Maura snuggled back into the only true comfort offered her, Jane's body warm and alive against her own cool skin.

"Okay," Maura said shyly, accepting Jane as one of her pack.

---

I do not read or write supernatural stuff in this vein but this was fun.

#rizzoli and isles #rizzoli & isles #maura isles #rizzles #jane rizzoli #rizzles fanfic #vampire #halloween

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aylinhadtimeforthis · 10 months

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Dead Poets Society As Dogs

so I'd come up with this concept a long while ago but decided to post it here bc why not so here goes lol

Neil: Brown Golden Retriever

I really tried going off their colour, size, shape language, vibes and personality and all that, and Neil DEFFO has golden retriever energy but the darker colour helps him contrast with Todd and also is in reference to his life and looks more

Todd: Cream Labrador

Honestly I don't know what other dog to have put for Todd this is the best fit I think He is calm and chill like labs but also wouldn't hesitate to defend his friends and stand his ground :)

Chris: Samoyed

I really didn't wanna put Chris as a light (esp white) coloured dog bc of her connotations with light colours but 😭 It literally fits so well hskdhbfjhds she looks so pretty I couldn't not do it :") and also there's not many darker dogs that fit her vibe :( She can still accessorize in darker colours tho ofc ofc

Ginny: Blue Heeler

Nah C'MON this is SUCH a Ginny dog like the bluish blackish warmish greyish patterns on the fur is like exactly what I think she'd wear and the dark round patterns are reminiscent to her dark wavy hair :)

Dalton: Husky-Chi

This was the only one that made a little sense to me tbh 😭 I literally tried looking for so many types of small dogs but they all looked weird and unfitting and wrong so this is the best I got 💀 Also apparently their personalities are quite unpredictable and "mystic" which I think matches pretty well with her impulsive and creative sense

Knox: German Shepherd Hound Mix

This is such a Knox dog omg look at him he's got the same cowardly mopey doe eyed look the lil freak always has I love him I esp wanted a dog that would be of a bigger build but more quiet and kinda scared looking like Knox is, and I think it worked p well with the hound addition bc german shepherds are guard and fighting dogs and the mix totally subverting that threatening appearance fits pretty well with Knox's lack of interest in getting involved with trouble or scuffs Also he looks like he'd give good hugs which :))))))

Pitts: Husky

THAT IS LITERALLY A PITTS DOG C'MON LOOK AT MY BOY THAT IS HIM I LOVE HIM

Meeks: Orange Poodle

Meeks would always accompany you and chill out with you but also judge you to the ends of hell and back and I feel like this is the right dog to convey that through Also it has his curly ginger hair :)

Cameron: Finnish Spitz

Who's a good pretty little bitch boy? You are yeah. Now THAT'S a Cameron dog if I've ever seen one istg it's got the colour the cut the expressions and everything- also there's this title of an article I found hsjkhsdjhfbjt-

-So true bestie too much crazy Cameron barking can be hazardous to your health anyway I hope you enjoyed this silly species-bend post or whatever one'd call it lol I just thought it'd be interesting to make :)

#wowie what a doozy #dps #dead poets society #dps headcanons #dps memes #dps fandom #neil perry #todd anderson #chris noel #ginny danburry #nuwanda #charlie dalton #knox overstreet #gerard pitts #steven meeks #stephen meeks #richard cameron

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gryfflepuffinthetardis · 3 months

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Hyperactive Little Rascal -- Campbell Bain

Summary: Reader comes home to find two hyperactive little rascals--a puppy... and her boyfriend, Campbell Bain.

Warning: Fluff, Campbell Being Childish

(Post-Asylum; May be connected to “Sweet Jane” or read alone; If you decided to include this in Sweet Jane, this takes place between the ending of the series and the epilogue written by me.)

1995 (Ten months since the events of Takin’ Over the Asylum)

"Nobody can fully understnad the meaning of love unless he's owned a dog."

Y/n was unlocking the door when she heard a soft overagressive growling sound... like a dog.

"Oh, no, he didn't." She groaned. She opened the door, she heard her boyfriend squeak and shush the obvious puppy as he tried to run and meet the new person who didn't understand the concept of shushing.

"Campbell David Bain." She said, closing the door and standing over her boyfriend like a parent.

"Yes, my love?" He asked, inncoently with an obvious squirming object under his hoodie, trying to get out of the darkness so she could find his tail.

"Don't be innocent with me! Don't try and be cute."

"But love... I can't help it." He teased.

"Campbell, did you get a puppy?"

"No." He lied... badly and then the puppy started to bark.

Y/n put down her stuff and coruched in front of her boyfriend, lifting his hoodie, revealing a furry black and white puppy with bright blue eyes who jumped at Y/n, greeting their new person.

"Maybe..." He changed his answer. "But... it's not my fault. Look at these eyes!" He held up the puppy to Y/n's face like she wasn't already aware of the puppy's presence and the puppy started to give her dozens of kisses. Campbell then frowned and grew jealous, he pulled the puppy away, "Okay, puppy, that's enough. That's my girlfriend. The only puppy you gets to kiss her is me!"

"Campbell." Y/n gave her boyfriend a look.

"Okay, so I may have gone to the park and there was a pet adoption and I looked into this puppy's eyes and suddenly I had him in a carrier."

Y/n sighed, shaking her head. "I guess, it's lucky, you only adopted one."

"So we can keep him!?"

"Well, you adopted him so..."

"Yes! I love you! I love you! I love you!" Campbell shrieked, tackling his girlfriend, straddling her and hugging her, the puppy was confused by the suddenly energy but joined in their celebrations.

Campbell was jealous. Y/n had barley paid any attention to him. All to the puppy.

Good job, Campbell. You lost her to a puppy!

"Campbell, what should we call..." she trailed off to see her boyfriend obviously jealous as his arms were crossing and he was grumbling to himself. She placed the puppy down who immediately got up and trotted along with her. She walked to her boyfriend and stood on her toes and kissed him, heavily, he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed back.

"Don't worry, you'll always be my number one puppy." She giggled.

He grinned goofily as her, he wrapped his arms around her and brought her on the couch with him, kissing her before the puppy shoved his head inbetween the two, apparently trying to see if they were fighting over any food.

"My two hyperactive little rascals." She giggled.

"Little? I am over six feet tall!" Campbell complained.

"Rascal. That's why we should name him." She grinned.

Campbell pouted, "But I'm your rascal."

"Yeah, you are." She said, pulling him in for another kiss.

Rascal is based off my puppies--they are Australian Shepherd-Poodle Mixes. (I will not show pictures of them though... I might later but not now) Others could be these dark-furred blue-eyed dogs I just Googled: a Siberian Husky, Border Collie, Alaskan Klee Kai, Dalmation, Cathahoula Leopard Dog, etc. But you can suggest your own dog breeds.

Rascal was originally a girl but male dogs are more hyperactive and highlights Campbell's jealousy.

I have an angst one in the works but I think I'll do a wisdom teeth one (with the reader getting her wisdom teeth out), I just got my wisdom teeth out yesterday/two days ago since it was one-thirty in the morning, and I am miserable. I am more miserable in the way I can eat or drink what I want sort of way. Apparently for days after you get your wisdom teeth out you can’t have hot drinks which includes hot chocolate which I try to drink once a day (it’s one thing if I don’t drink it because I just forgot or I meant to and then suddenly it was too late to make one but actually being told I can’t makes it be on my mind all the time.) My mom refused to let me have the wisdom teeth surgery where they put you under anesthesia when they do it (because she’s a paranoid parent and didn’t want to risk the risks. Also because of when I was sedated when I was a baby, I’ll tell that story on the wisdom teeth one) so I was just numbed but I think the reader will have it so Campbell can take care of her while she's still high from the drugs so kind of parallel the one where he was drunk.

I love dogs, I love cats too (but most of my family are allergic and don’t like them. I refuse to admit I might be allergic, I am allergic to pollen so I say it’s that. It just makes my eyes itch and even if I am, which I refuse to admit, I don’t blame the cats for that) My first dog was a male Boykin Spaniel (I miss him), then a Boykin Spaniel mix (I miss them both) Now, I have a black-and-white female four-year-old Aussie-Doodle with one ice blue eye and one brown eyes named Gizmo after the Mogwai from Gremlins, and a whiteish two-year-old male Aussie-Doodle named Sherlock after Sherlock Holmes. He’s… I think he’s smarter than my brother and mom think, I think he acts doofy because he knows it makes us laugh.

I cannot watch dog movies like Marley and Me, or A Dog’s Purpose, (I mean I did watch them both when I was younger) but I can’t. It just makes me think of my dogs and how I want them to live forever. I want my dogs to live longer than me! And I will not write about dealing with a dog’s death. I already have depression and ADHD (not a fun mix) where I can be totally fine (for me) and then suddenly I spiral and then I just hate everything and am sadder than sad.

My family is primarily a dog family, my nana has had a few dogs though her favorite breed are Scottish Terriers (and her favorite animal is a Fox which is my second favorite after a Tasmanian Devil). My favorite dog breed other than the ones I have are Beagle. I don't know why but I've always had this sort of love for beagles.*

Austrian Shepherds are considered “Einstein dogs” from their high intelligence and Gizmo has a glint in her heterochromatic eyes that are just filled with so much love and intelligence.

They are quite playful, I was actually afraid when we went to get Sherlock that Gizmo wouldn't like him (we drove six hours to get him from a barn and then it took even longer to drive back because he kept getting car sick and throwing up, of course now, he'll eat anything, he has a stomach of steel and is now what we (and the vet) call "thick" (because he scarfed his food down like he was being raced and then tried to eat Gizmo's food. Though, she's possessive so she would wait for him to come to her food before botling to her food or snapping at him.)

Now they're just buddies, Gizmo's like his Mama, they play with each other, they wrestle, they play tug a war with the dog toys we buy before we have to throw them away because they tore them away and sometimes when they have the same toy, they walk in unison. They're both very possessive, they don't like it when we leave or when they think we're leaving. Gizmo barks and barks and Sherlock tries to calm her down by jumping on her and grabbing at the fur on her back so she is occasionally temporarily distracted by him pulling at her fur. Gizmo doesn't want to eat or a treat unless he wants it. She'll be occasionally aggressive with him because she's bigger (and his Mama). Sometimes he'll whine and we'll shout at her to stop and sometimes he'll fight back.

Austrlian Sherpherd usually have their tails cut off, surprisingly, Gizmo didn't though and it's just beautiful and she thinks so too, Remy and Lulu never chased their tails or at least I didn't see them but I've never seen a dog love their own tail so much, she'll be doing something one second and then literally start chasing her tail the next. She'll lay down with her tail in her mouth, she'll continue walking in circles with her tail in her mouth and sometimes she'll put her paw on her tail like she's trying to pull at it, and sometimes she'll walk to another room while walking in cicrlces as she moves because she has her tail in her mouth. It's hilarious! 🤣🤣

Sherlock doesn't, he has a little nub of a tail but he seems like he still has a phantom tail because he wiggles his butt when he's excited. He's kind of like Meatlug from How to Train Your Dragon (combined with Hookfang and the two-headed dragon).

#the eccedentiast #david tennant characters #takin' over the asylum #campbell bain #campbell bain x reader #Dogs #Dog fic #Puppy #Blue eyed puppy

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jerzwriter · 1 year

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One Night in Cordonia Chapter 8: All's Well That Ends Well

Series: One Night in Cordonia, a @choicesprompts a Round Robin Event. Fandom: TRR, with some OH introduced here Pairings: You'll See lol Word count: 2.2k (I went over a little - sorry!) Rating: Mature Warnings: talks about sex, innuendos, language Prompt: Cocktails, Gala - @choicesjunechallenge A/N: Every now and then, it's fun to just take your characters and put them in different surroundings. This lil' crack fic allowed me to do just that. I was going to say it's not really "my" Ethan and Tobias here, but, to be honest, it could be them in my Ethan/Kaycee world. Thanks for putting this together and including me Angela!

Next author: ??? @angelasscribbles ???

Summary: It's Leo's social season. The day is Beaumont bash after the formal dinner is done and the royal couple has left. Anton sends his second in command, Claudius, to spread a fog, "Death Smash," that would leave the guests paralyzed and he would attack. But the gas delivered was Shagging smog 2.0 by mistake, leading to a sexual frenzy amongst guests. Anton himself goes to check and falls prey to the gas. The only unaffected members are Max (immune), Leo (because he was in the gardens), and Olivia (partially affected, trying to fight the effects).

The pretty brunette flight attendant was shaky on her feet, and for once, turbulence nor the ridiculously high heels Constantine insisted his flight attendants wear was the cause. No, this time, the mesmerizing aqua-blue eyes of her passenger were the culprit. She hadn’t dared to look at them directly for fear of what they could do to her, but she could feel them raking over as she attempted to pour his bourbon. She only hoped he didn’t notice how she trembled.

“That’s good right there, darlin’,’ he droned, his husky voice rolling off his tongue like honey. “Any more than that, and I’ll have to wonder if you’re trying to take advantage of me.”

A blush settled on her cheeks as she attempted to come up with a reply. Luckily, the other, equally aesthetically pleasing passenger spared her when he sighed with disgust.

“For Christ’s sake, Tobias, could you maybe have just an ounce of decorum?”

“You know Ethan, decorum is overrated,” he winked. “I prefer fun. You may want to try it sometime.”

“I know how to have fun, and it’s not harassing our flight attendant.”

Ethan looked over to the young woman, who could not look away before his sapphire orbs met hers. Fuck! She thought because those eyes would render her equally as helpless.

“I apologize for my colleague. Apparently, he was raised by wolves.”

“Hey!” Tobias jumped in. “My mom would kick your ass if she heard you say that!”

“Really? Well, I’m sure she’d love to hear how you are treating this young woman,” Ethan pulled out his phone. “Shall I dial her?”

Tobias threw both hands up in surrender. “Nope! Truce! Truce!”

A satisfied smirk crossed Ethan’s face. “I think you’ll be left in peace for the remainder of the flight,” he smiled. Completely oblivious to the look of disappointment on the woman’s face as she exited the cabin.

Tobias sipped the amber liquor and let out a slow moan. “Mmmm. This is amazing,” he growled. “Have you tried yours yet? I know you’re a total snob, but I swear, this shit will make you weak in the knees.”

Ethan eyed his untouched beverage and shut his eyes.

“I’ll get to it,” he grumbled. “This whole thing, it’s just… it’s obscene!”

Tobias leaned over and took the papers his companion was reading out of his hands, shoving them into the attaché at his side.

“Hey, what are you….”

“Shut up,” Tobias spat. “Seriously, Ethan. The hospital insisted we go, so just sit back and enjoy the ride. We’re on one of the most luxurious private jets on the planet on someone else’s dime. Our every need is expected to be catered to, and if you hadn’t interrupted… that might have included the beautiful Ashley.”

“Ashley?” He asked.

“The flight attendant…”

“Her name is Amber, you idiot. And sexual harassment isn’t something I wish to add to our resume on this trip.”

“Ethan, relax. I was joking!”

“I’m sorry, I just hate this whole thing. The wealthiest people in the world summoning us across the damn Atlantic to take care of their potential PR disaster is not what I went into medicine for.”

“I don’t disagree,” Tobias shrugged. “But what they’re paying us for two days’ work will fund our department for the next year. So look at the bright side for a change Mr. Sour Pants.”

“You have a point,” Ethan grumbled. “Let’s just make this quick, get in and get out…”

“That was my plan with Am….”

“SHUT UP!” Ethan hollered as Tobias adjusted his sleep mask and drifted off, pleased he had accomplished his goal of getting under his boss’s skin.

~~~~

Upon landing, a heavily guarded motorcade awaited the two doctors and drove them to the Beaumont estate.

“Is this still fun for you?” Ethan asked.

“Fuck yes! I’m living out some major James Bond fantasies right now.”

Ethan fought the genuine smile that attempted to spread on his lips; maybe there was something to Tobias’s constant glass-half-full approach, but he wasn’t about to admit it.

When they arrived at the scene, Constantine and a Lieutenant from the King’s Guard greeted them at once. The Lieutenant handed each man a gas mask.

“Gentlemen,” Constantine enthused. “We are so happy to have you here! It’s not our first incident with shag smog in Cordonia, but this one is not responding to the normal antidote. That’s why we called in the experts.”

Ethan quickly adjusted his mask, but Tobias made no effort to put his on, earning him a questioning glare.

“No need,” Tobias smiled. “I’ve been exposed in the past, so I’m immune.”

“Of course you have,” Ethan groused. “How bad is the situation?”

“Worse than you could imagine!” The Lieutenant began. “There are only a handful of people present who weren’t affected, reasons unclear at this time. Some may have had prior exposure, some, well… this could be their natural state of being; it’s hard to tell.”

“OK, so we have a handful of people who haven’t turned into sex-crazed lunatics,” Tobias assessed. “But how many have? Do you know how many were in attendance?”

“Several hundred,” a woman’s voice rang out from behind, and Tobias’s body went rigid. He’d know that voice anywhere. “Anyone who is anyone in Cordonian society is here, plus a few plebeians from other nations who are delusional enough to imagine they can fit in with us.”

Tobias turned slowly toward the red-haired beauty, salacious grin in place.

“You say plebeians with such disdain, Duchess. From what I recall, you haven’t always minded rolling around in the dirt with at least… some of us.”

Olivia’s eyes narrowed, her icy gaze meeting Tobias’s heated stare. “You!” she hissed.

Ethan clapped his friend on the back. “It’s so good to see you have fans everywhere. Please tell me you made her acquaintance at a Cordonian History seminar.”

“Yeah,” Tobias chuckled. “Something like that. It’s been a long time, Duchess.”

“I’d prefer it if you called me Olivia,” she seethed.

“Heh! That’s not what you wanted to be called last time we were together.”

Constantine turned to Ethan with a look of distress. “Are you sure the sex pollen isn’t impacting him?”

“No,” Ethan sighed wearily, “Sadly, that’s just him.”

“Tobias?” a naked Maxwell hollered as he approached the group. “Is that you?”

Ethan turned to Constantine, aghast. “I thought you said all the impacted were contained!”

“They are! But that’s Maxwell and… sadly, that’s just… him.”

“It’s me,” Tobias nodded, averting his eyes. He removed his lab coat and tossed it in Max’s direction. “Would you put this on, for Christ’s sake! No one needs to see that damn hippo tattoo.”

“Oh, yeah…” Ethan rolled his eyes. “That’s what we don’t need to see!”

“So, what do we do, gentlemen?” The Lieutenant asked. “Normally, pumping in the antidote smog does the trick.”

“Not with this new variant,” Tobias interrupted. “It’s essentially a concentrated form of GHB in vaporized form.”

“So, how do we reverse this?” Constantine asked.

“There’s been some success with the administration of diclofenac and NSAIDS,” Ethan advised. “But that would require injecting each of the infected individually. There is no way to ‘gas’ everyone back to normal.”

“Well, that could take hours! Days!” A voice called out.

“This is my son, Leo, the crown prince.” Constantine chimed in. “And I agree with him. We need to get this display of debauchery under control before it’s a scandal!”

“Forgive me if I’m more concerned about the people who were poisoned, not your Palace’s reputation.”

“Dr. Ramsey, I believe I’m paying you quite handsomely to take care of both,” Constantine reminded.

“Going room to room won’t be the fastest way,” Tobias agreed. “But it is the best way. Not only can we ensure it’s administered properly, but you can send someone in with us to confiscate everyone’s mobile devices. That will give you time to destroy any embarrassing pictures you wouldn’t want out there.”

Olivia spat out a laugh behind him. “Yes, Dr. Carrick. Because you, of all people, know about embarrassing blackmail photos. Don’t you?”

Tobias shot her a knowing look. “We’ll talk after… Duchess. Right now, I have work to do.”

~~~~~

Tobias and Ethan ran up the ornate marble staircase; the team Constantine assembled to assist them quick on their heels.

“So, dare I ask what the deal is with you and Olivia?” Ethan asked.

A blissful look came over Tobias’s face, and Ethan momentarily wondered if his friend was being impacted by the gas.

“You know I’ve always had a thing for redheads. Plus, have you ever had a woman pull a switchblade out of her stilettos and threaten you in the middle of some of the most mind-blowing sex you’ve ever had in your life?”

Ethan looked at Tobias in horror. “No! I can’t say I have.”

Tobias reached over and tapped his friend’s shoulder. “Well, add it to your bucket list, buddy. I promise you, it’s a rush.”

“Gentleman,” Leo interrupted, “if you wouldn’t mind visiting this room first. My brother, Liam, is in here.”

When the men entered, Liam immediately rushed toward them.

“What the…”

“Thank God you’re here!” Liam squealed. “This is shag smog… isn’t it?”

“It is,” Leo frowned. “But… you’re coherent… weren’t you impacted? Do you want to screw any of us right now?”

Liam calmly looked over the three men and shrugged. “I mean, you’re all cute… but not my type… and you’re my brother!”

“But if you weren’t impacted, why are you locked in here?” Leo asked.

“Madeline locked me in here. That woman has been dying to have her way with me and thought she believed this was her big chance.”

“Wait…” Tobias interrupted. “I’m not up on all of the societal gossip, and I know you people have your own little… proclivities… but,” he turned to Leo, “isn’t Madeline your fiance?”

“Technically,” Leo sighed.

“OK, then,” Tobias simpered. “Well, how about we leave you two to sort this out while we go administer the antidote to others.”

Leo nodded at Tobias, “Excellent idea. We’ll meet up again outside.”

~~~~~

Several hours later, Tobias joined a team of King’s Guards assigned to delete all incriminating images from guests' phones. He was having too much fun helping, chuckling repeatedly before hitting delete. He turned to Ethan with a grin.

“You know, if we want to retire early, all I need to do is forward some of these to our phones. Our offspring’s offspring could live off of the blackmail money.”

He heard what sounded like the knuckles cracking behind him and found Oliva glaring his way. “I assure you, that would be ill-advised.”

“Relax, sweetheart. Don’t you know a joke when you hear one?”

Ethan looked between the two and shook his head ruefully. “I know I’m going to live to regret this… but you mentioned blackmail photos before… what were you talking about?”

Tobias howled with laughter. “She took some photos of me and planned on using them against me. Unfortunately for her, she didn’t factor in that I have no shame. So, she got nothing.”

“Oh dear God,” Ethan groaned. “What the hell was on… you know what… no… I don’t want to know.”

“Why?” Tobias asked. “They were just pictures of me… in various states of undress… some may have involved latex… and a couple had switchblades….”

“OK, STOP!”

“In one,” Tobias said, standing up with dramatic flair, “I was kind of bent over like this….”

“I SAID STOP!” Ethan yelled as he rushed away, muttering under his breath.

Amused, Olivia slid up next to Tobias and gently caressed his forearm.

“He’s a bit squeamish, no?”

“Hey, they can’t all be me,” he laughed. “You’re looking good, Dutchess… you know, I wouldn’t exactly turn down the opportunity to … engage… again….”

Olivia rolled her eyes. “Tobias, you’re a terribly handsome man. And as much as I can appreciate someone who eagerly follows my orders and calls me Duchess throughout, I must admit… I rather get off on the fear in my companion's eyes when I unexpectedly pull a sharp object in the heat of the moment… the fact that you kind of got off on that… it takes the fun out of it for me.”

“Hey!” Tobias protested. “Fear? Is that what you’re looking for. Listen, gorgeous, I had four years in drama club in college, and I can feign fear like the best of them. I think you should give me another shot.”

Olivia’s eyes raked over him, slowly taking him in from head to toe, a fiendish grin growing.

“You’re willing to wear a harness?”

Tobias scoffed. “When have I ever said no to that?”

“OK,” she smiled, rising to her feet. “The Beumont’s armory is in the basement. Go down the staircase, make a left, and it’s the last door at the end of the hallway. Meet me there in fifteen minutes. Oh, and get your lab coat back from Maxwell. Make sure you’re wearing that… and nothing else… when I enter,” she winked. “That’s the main course. The harness will be dessert.”

Tobias looked at her with darkened eyes. “At your command, my Duchess.”

Anxioulsy hopping to his, Tobias yelled to Ethan as he made his way to the door.

“Hey, buddy! I’ve got .. uh.. some things to do. Keep yourself occupied… look around for Bertrand… you both love boring things. He’ll know what to do.”

Liam and Leo leaned against the wall, shaking their heads at what they had just witnessed.

“And that’s without the shag pollen,” Leo sighed. “Could you imagine them under the influence?”

Liam shook his head vigorously. “It would be the demise of Cordonia. Perhaps the demise of civilization.”

@choicesficwriterscreations Tagging others in RB.

#choices fanfic #the royal romance #trr #open heart #open heart choices #playchoices #choicesprompts #choices fic writers creations #ethan ramsey #tobias carrick #olivia nevrakis #the rys family #trr au #round robin

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