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#he still needs to get paid more
crazydaymycrazyway · 1 month
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Yin Yu: There are five people and three chairs. What will you do?
• The heaven officials:
Lan Qianqiu and Xie Lian: Get two more chairs
Shi Quingxuan: Cut each chair in half to make 6
Mu Quing: Tell them to get their own chairs
Feng Xin, fearfully: Are there women among them?
Pei Ming: The women can sit on my lap
Quan Yizhen: You only need one chair to beat them all with
Shi Wudu: Force them all to sit on the floor
Jun Wu: Natural selection. Make them fight for their seat
• The ghost kings:
Hua Cheng: Ignore them if it's not related to gege
He Xuan: Feed them to his fishes
Bai Wuxiang: Kill five people
• Not belonging anywhere:
Qi Rong: Eat them all and hog the chairs
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rebouks · 5 months
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Darien: You’ve got two options; a shitty flight that’ll take over twenty-four hours with two stops, paid for by yourself, or I’ll pay the difference for an eleven hour one. Brynn: The shitty one. Darien: Alright… Brynn: I not think I have enough money yet. Darien: You just didn’t know where to look. Brynn: Thank you. Darien: It’s fine-.. are you excited? Brynn: Not really. Darien: About the baby…
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Brynn: Oh, yes! I always think about having babies one day. Darien: With Wyatt? Brynn: Not in the beginning, maybe. Darien: I’m sorry-.. for everything. Brynn: Is okay, I have also trodden on other people to get ahead sometimes. Darien: You seem pretty understanding about it all. Brynn: Life is too short for grudges and regret, no? People change. Darien: I suppose you’re right. Brynn: You know he is called Kaito now? Darien: I know, where’d you think he got his paperwork from?
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Brynn: Ohh, you are very clever. Darien: It’s who you know, not what. Brynn: That is true. Darien: Okay, your flight’s booked for tomorrow night at eleven thirty-four. Brynn: Is already tomorrow. Darien: Tonight, then. Brynn: Ough, I am nervous now! Darien: He might take it.. okay-ish? I feel like I don’t know him as well as I used to. Brynn: In a good way though, yes? Darien: Yeah, I think so.
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coquelicoq · 6 months
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what i love about the Famous Actor Natori Shuuichi of it all is that...it's not just that he's famous and therefore widely recognizable wherever he goes. like yes that is very funny because he was an exorcist before he became a famous actor, which means he CHOSE, on purpose, a day job that would make it harder to hide his double life/secret identity from the hordes of his adoring public, but it's more than that. it's not just that he's famous, it's that he's famous specifically for being an ACTOR, aka a person whose job it is to dissimulate, to make believe, to inhabit roles and emotions other than his own. like he decided he was going to become as visible as possible (which again was literally not necessary! he could have gone into any other career for his day job!!) but in such a way that everyone would see him but no one would see him - they would just see his various made-up personas, including the Famous Actor Natori Shuuichi persona. i can't decide if he's a genius or if he just made so many absurd decisions that they canceled each other out and circled back around to working out. he's either playing 9-dimensional chess or he's eating the pieces. too soon to say.
#the other thing i love about it is that in a very real sense it's his actor day job that is his alter ego#being an exorcist is his normie job. he's just a famous celebrity on the side#which isn't that uncommon in secret identity setups but it's still very funny#natsume's book of friends#natsume yuujinchou#natori shuuichi#natsuyuu meta#my posts#f#i think probably the actual answer is that acting was a very natural career choice because he already masks so extensively#both to hide that he can see things other people can't (and that youkai exist and that he exorcises them)#and to hide what he's really feeling so that no one can use it against him#so if it's already something he has to do & he's good at it...why not have someone tell him exactly how to do it & get paid for it?#and the other part of the answer is that most ppl don't go into acting assuming they'll get famous. the fame was a side effect#so each decision as it was being made probably made perfect sense. but put them all together#and you have this hilarious assortment of elements that seem to directly contradict each other#okay also i would be remiss if i didn't mention the other possible answer which is that the attention came first and was unavoidable#and the acting developed from the need to protect himself from the attention that he was going to be attracting no matter what he did#because he's so beautiful. and (in the exorcist world specifically) because he's the last of the natori#the more i talk about it the more i'm like no becoming a famous actor was the only path that made any sense for him lol#1) he's gonna be watched no matter what bc he's him -> gotta figure out how to hide his secrets -> learn to act as self-defense#or 2) he's got secrets -> he's gotten a lot of practice hiding them -> hey you could make a career out of this!#all roads lead to actor natori shuuichi. and since he's beautiful...all roads lead to FAMOUS actor natori shuuichi#i love it when i ramble so much in the tags that i end up contradicting my own post lol#he's neither thinking ten steps ahead nor is he irrational. he's simply making sensible individual decisions#that follow logically from what is available to him and what his priorities are
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cosmic-walkers · 18 days
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Hmmm if Henry wasn't king and just some normal lord or Duke or whatever and he did some shit that required him needing a lawyer and that lawyer was Thomas...Thomas would drop him as a client expeditiously I fear.
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princesscallyie · 5 months
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Me when I'm listening to the most stupidest story about my mom giving my brother $1500 for a down payment for a 2nd car while his in the shop for a deer hitting him and him losing the nonrefundable $1500 cause he drove 2 hours away to a scummy dealership and he didn't get approve for enough credit from the bank
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#like... idk maybe cause I don't have a son but does anyone else have experience with a mom acting delulu for their son???#like... 1st she paid $17k for the brand new 2022 which he traded in behind her back so he can get a 'fast car'#he got in an accident in the fast car mom put the parts to repair on her credit cards#since now the fast car wasnt pretty any more with mixmatch parts he traded in that car for a lexus for payments#which is dumb cause the whole excuse on why he traded in the 2022 cause he didn't want payments#he hit a deer with the lexus and i guess he thought they was gonna total the car cause he was already looking for a new one#but they gonna fix the lexus but he still went to try to get that car...#and that lady just agreed to it...#he owes her thousands of dollars...#she keeps on saying 'oh well he got a new job making $17 an hour and plus he's working a part time he's gonna pay me back#he's been saying that since he traded the 2022 and he barely paid you anything...#like why are you enabling his impulse purchasing???#he thinks these cars are like toys or something and you just letting him use your cash and credit like that...#then she's like... 'well I would do the same for us' referring to us other daughters#but like... we're not idiots that would purposely put you in these situations...#why on earth does he need a 2nd car??? he only making $17 an hour plus a part time job??? you live at home??? why did you agree to this???#just tell him no for once????#idk I feel like I'm going crazy or am I just super stingy with my money and credit score?#callyie chat
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having completely normal thoughts (gortash wotr au)
#yeah. it’s bad. not thinking about inserting zeke but GORTASH#he’d start out as aeon for sure#his opinions on companions are so fucking awful#not nearly as awful as the kingmaker au ofc. he’d call reg a sick dog that needs to be put down because his incompetent owner failed him#anyways. this is a deranged wotr post.#of course there’s no one among the companions fit to be his/equal status#but i’d say he’d have the most positive opinions of regill and greybor. as positive as a guy thinking of them as his tools can get.#towards greybor it’s like. ok you don’t see yourself as more than a weapon and neither do i. you do your job as long you get paid i can wor#with that.#meanwhile regill he’d love to have as a knight devoted to him instead of him being a hell knight#this of course never fucking works gortash’s weird manipulation would not pull through with regill in this matter#no romance of course. except for manipulative sex with wenduag probably.#he really wants that mongrel army! will pop a fantasy viagra if wenduag needs to be ‘roughly subdued to calm down.’#he’d be a little more into it than usual because he doesn’t need to hold back with her but it’s still not a true subjugation in the end.#until later he’s like ok. i lied i don’t like sex get on the vivisection table#(aro + fucked version of grayace gortash truther if you didn’t know)#tries to refine her and the poison#he’d be awful to her in general. sees a weapon to be refined. she recognizes him as master now but her loyalty is fickle.#he’d earn all the respect flags#but still would punish her greatly for the first sign of betrayal in the abyss#oh and before this gets too long: one more for cam obviously.#sadly i don’t see a world in which he doesn’t immediately see through the mireya story and kill her in act 3#but if he didn’t. it’d be so juicy. him in act 5 learning the full story. how her father talks about her.#just stands there frozen for 10 seconds with a thousand yard stare#<- to then go no i don’t think you should kill him you should [REDACTED GRUESOME TORTURE METHOD THAT KEEPS ONE ALIVE & AWAKETHE ENTIRE TIME#in the end he’d execute her anyways but. hm. he’d get triggered for sure#i have more thoughts but i’m gonna shut up now lmao
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nostalgia-tblr · 11 months
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For anyone keeping track (no one), I have started watching the first Avengers film (MCU not the 60s TV show) but only while eating lunch so it's gonna take a while. So far Nick Fury has been assembling the Avengers (the film was initially released in the UK as Avengers Assemble - because of that 60s TV show - but it's not called that on D+ so I'm calling it what the Americans called it, just FYI) even though there's not yet anything for them to avenge as That Suit Guy (j/k I know his name too!!) isn't dead yet, and now they're on THE FUCKING VALIANT FROM DR WHO and I assume we're gonna continue assembling for a while as they're not all there yet.
MEANWHILE Loki (who is neither an alligator nor a woman in this???) is in a SECRET UNDERGROUND LAIR with a bunch of his stans who are... idk something technobabble that involves irridium and anti-protons. He is there looking for the tesseract on behalf of ???? who I know will be revealed 47 films from now as... no, wait, it wasn't, was it? That was just announced on a website or something? So it could be LITERALLY ANYONE. The Avengers (in-progress) also seem to be after that thing, but I have already forgotten why everyone is wanting it, assuming it was mentioned (it probably was).
Thor hasn't shown up yet, but Arrows Hawkeye is working as a Loki Stan and there's Steve Rogers and THE HULK and The Only Woman One, whose power is that she's a Cold War assassin (??) and I think this one is the film where she gets called a cunt (!) and honestly I am not sure which of the men she's getting officially shipped with, I think Arrows Hawkeye though? Fairly sure, as the alternative is that a man and a woman like each other as people but not in a lusty way, which would never happen obviously. (Hey I may ship mostly het* pairings but I don't always like it!)
Based on the Valiant (if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!) I am guessing that the film ends with Loki dying in Thor's arms romantically but then I remembered that I know it can't because one of Loki got kidnapped from... either the end of this film or the start of the next one or POSSIBLY just from a later film's time-travel bit (???) but like... maybe they've edited this film secretly and I was right after all? But nobody else has watched it on Disney + recently so nobody knows yet? IT COULD HAPPEN.
Not sure what to make of this film so far, a lot's been going on yet also not much has been going on, and the one I like best so far (Suit Guy) is gonna die (NOT EVEN IN THOR'S ARMS ROMANTICALLY) and god Iron Man really hasn't aged well now that we have that one tech billionaire being a twat in public all the time to remind us what such people tend to be like. WHERE IS THOR????
*I say het but everyone in everything is bisexual, I know this because I thought of it and announced it on tumblr and will now say "I don't make the rules" to make it an objective FACT. I don't make the rules!!!
#the avengers (mcu edition not the 60s one)#(though if u close one eye and tilt ur head the black widow looks a wee bit like emma peel maybe?)#i like to think the lair of loki stans exists after this to post angrily on social media about how actually he did nothing wrong etc etc#let me know if loki's just working from a subway station that's still in use in this that'd be hilarious he'd be so annoyed by it all#torn on the tortured-by-thanos issue so far he does look messy but he might just have the flu and didn't want to back out#a lot of people are depending on him to jumpstart a movie superhero franchise he can't just take the day off can he#if loki took care of himself thor would be LITERALLY UNEMPLOYED how could he? how could YOU?#(the 'god of thunder' thing isn't a job he doesn't get paid for it so it's just a hobby)#(he doesn't even monetise that hobby! you think iron man would give you storms for free? EXACTLY. he'd have a patreon AT LEAST)#(“if you enjoyed this torrential rain pls tip me on ko-fi which is not pronounced like you think it is because it's a really BAD pun”)#mcu tag i guess#and whatever the fuck my loki character tag was#like i said i really do need to categorise my lokis more it's been bothering me for a while#reminder: i am here because they cast a woman in a previously-male role and SHE'S NOT EVEN IN THIS FILM. OR ANY OF THEM. D:#don't think the alligator's gonna turn up here either :( :( :(#otherwise it's just kind of fascinating what this film assumes i do and don't know about these characters#nick fury's a goth right?
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artemislosthunter · 9 months
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does anyone else feel just insanely guilty for spending money on things you genuinely need?
This is not about the cosplay, but I spend a bit of my own saved up (!!) money on things I needed for college and for my PC (the new screen) and I Just sit there and feel like I wasted my money?? Idk it's so fucking annoying-
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ARE YOU READYYYY
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silbeni · 1 month
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Brewing an alt timeline w Ryoma in the Rohan live action
#idek if duwang gang exists in that universe even so#its a lot more ryohan focused#in da lore Ryohan gets art block and starts to live in squalor#izumi visits him and shes like damn you live like this and either she sends a house keepers or he does#he gets a list of candidates and Ryoma is in that list#shes notably less qualified than anyone else and she got there by recommendation#blah blah blah Rohan starts interviewing the potential housekeepers and he doesnt like any of them until ryoma#Rohan tries to read Ryoma but it activates gadzooks and starts making him into tape instead#eventually Ryo gets gadzooks to stop and theyre super apologetic#but Rohans like. THIS IS THE ONE (thinking he can get inspiration from them)#i believe thus spoke rohan kishibe rohan (live action) doesn't knows about other stand users#so this would be exciting for him. ryoma would be so confused to be accepted but thankful bc they really needed that job#their relationship starts out distant and professional but morphs into something more casual as time goes on#to the point ryoma is essentially just being paid to be his friend skabs they still try to do work but he doesn't require that of them#ryoma feels bad not working.. like shes just being a leech#around this time ryoma gets upgraded to working 24/7 there so they basically live together#rahh im just thinking of cute stuff now <3 Rohan gets sick and hes a huge drama queen about it. ryoma doesn't mind pampering him though#but of course there are also evils. thinking of an episode plot where a creature attached like. a time bomb to Ryoma. paranormal stuff#saw trap ish? blow yourself up or i explode all of morioh type thing. (or wherever the heck they live)#not sure if rohan lives in morioh in that universe yeah#Anyway gn
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piplupod · 2 months
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one of the cashiers at the grocery store i go to is so fucking fixated on shoplifters and it drives me crazy any time i check out through him (i try to avoid him but his checkout is often the most open/empty - hm! i wonder why! - and im often on a tight schedule w the bus). he brings up shoplifters every opportunity he gets and he seems so convinced that theyre a huge problem.
BUT WHAT REALLY GETS ME ,,, is that today the customer in front of me was needing a price check on one of the items bc it should've come out to be cheaper, so he was kind of apologetic abt it and saying "ah well, yknow, six dollars is six dollars, especially with how expensive groceries are right now" and i was nodding and agreeing (trying to show that i dont mind the wait and also solidarity my guy good for u for speaking up and getting the price fixed on that) AND THE CASHIER AGREES. FULLY ACKNOWLEDGES AND BEMOANS THE FACT THAT GROCERIES ARE CRAZY RN. AND THEN GOES ON TO COMPLAIN ABOUT SHOPLIFTERS. HUH ??????
so you agree that groceries are unreasonably expensive... and that sometimes ppl can't afford them... and yet ....................
#HE MAKES ME SO FUCKING ANGRY CMONNNN THINK ABOUT IT DUDE....#i knew him in highschool (small town things lol) and im pretty sure he was one of those kids who thought cops were really cool. so. yknow.#not surprised. just annoyed fdjkl#i would say smth like ''oh does ur paycheque get docked if shoplifters come thru or smth?'' but i dont want to piss him off#i would like to remain civil with the cashiers here bc its the only grocery store i can get to most of the time fdsjkl#but like. i would love to find out why he hates shoplifters so much#when i worked at DQ in highschool and ppl stole dilly bars or FULL CAKES... i did not give a single shit#even though the managers and boss would get kind of angry at us (but they knew we couldnt do anything abt it really lmao)#and then we had to put locks on the customer-facing freezers which was a hassle for us#AND STILL. I NEVER FELT ANGRY AT THE SHOPLIFTERS. BECAUSE WHATEVER DUDE LIFE IS EXPENSIVE GO GET THAT ICE CREAM!!!#also i was not paid enough to care LMFAO and i know for a fact that this cashier isn't paid enough either bc my brother used to work there#I DUNNO DUDE. HONESTLY I HAVE MAD RESPECT FOR SHOPLIFTERS#i've potentially done it a few times and its fucking terrifying esp w the amount of cameras installed now fdsjkl#i dont do it now even though i need to more than ever bc i was making myself sick every time i possibly did it#i'd get home and sit in the bathroom for an hour trying to make sure i wasnt about to throw up from the stress fdsjkl#also it was stupid to do honestly (but . needed. so yknow.) bc again. i dont have any other options for accessible grocery stores really#ANYWAYS. fuck that cashier i hope he realizes what a little narc he's being and gains some class consciousness or smth idk#all for one and one for all etc etc etc we're all in this together my guy#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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tartt9 · 2 months
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that time of night when i'm thinking about jamie's relationship with money again
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dylawas-reblogs · 3 months
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me: yeah so we haven't had a meeting about it yet, but I asked my coworkers about past interns and why they left; chances are they won't hire me full time at my internship immediately. However, the chances of having it extended are pretty good, and I like what I'm doing, and they're going to be talking about budget in July. Sure my finances are a little tight but--
my sperm donor (only slightly exaggerated): look for a new job immediately and tell them if they won't hire you full time you're leaving. and no, I don't care if you don't find something in your industry and you have to settle for a job that will make you hate being alive even more than you already do. Also I'm going to ignore how long it took you to find this internship to begin with
me:
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#dylawa rambles#dylawa rants#this man gives zero fucks about actually seeing me go into what I fucking trained to do he just wants me to make him money#i am literally sick to my stomach right now thinking about job hunting again#'i want to see you successful and happy' okay why are you still charging me rent then#why are you making job hunting even more of a traumatic experience than it already is#literally said to him 'I don't trust my chances of finding a new job within two months' and his response: 'oh well go work customer service#it took me MONTHS to find just this internship and it's a miracle it's paid at all#it's in a nice office with nice people and i have my own computer and they feed me almost daily!#i'll live another six months in this hellhole if it means I get a guaranteed post-internship job like this#is it the ideal job? absolutely the hell not#the commute sucks i don't have work from home so i can't get away with doing other shit on the side#i feel limited in what the role requires of me vs what I'd like to make#but good fuck it's better than food service or retail#but nooooo he needs me to be his little rent cash cow without him feeling guilty about it#very tempted to bail even if it means I start eating through my savings a little bit#I don't know if I can go through the daily interrogations of 'did you apply? why aren't you hearing back? it's your fault' again#i have somewhere to go but I'm trying to keep it very 'last resort' territory#A) it would make my current work commute twice as long#B) it would require completely burning bridges with my old man bc I'd have to move out in secret#not just because i don't want him to know where the people who are sheltering me live#but also because if he saw that place even if he was willingly letting me move out he'd say 'absolutely not'#because I don't trust him not to do something weird. not necessarily DANGEROUS but. weird.#I want to burn all bridges someday!#but even now that I own my car it's still not the safest course of action#I'm so sick of being stuck dawg!#dylawa vents
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thebuttsmcgee · 2 years
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THE SAME PLUSH CREATOR FOR THE LUMITY PLUSHES HAS PLANS FOR A WILLOW AND HUNTER PLUSH SET LETS GOOOOO
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#butts talks nonsense#well technically its also owl house related but I dont wanna main tag that#tho it might end up there anyways? ehhhh#aaanyways. apparently they said so nearly a month ago lmao I guess I missed it tho ldjqhbdw#really cool tho!!!!!!!!! Dude I have seen like NO Willow plushes at all and only 1 Hunter plush. Ive seen a custom made Gus one as well but#only by 1 person tho it was still p cool#Im p excited tho!!!!! Their Luz and Ams plushes have always been really well made as well as their SPoP ones so woot!#Granted I jUST got the Luz one a little ago but to be fair Im. hm. picky? when it comes to detail and Ive always seen her hoodie as purbl#so thats why I ordered right away when they started manufacturing Luz in purbl instead of the blue. I also just never got the hexside#uniformed ones cuz. uh. money? Ig. lmao I dont really remember since its actually been a while. Kinda regret it but who knows!#Maybe theyll restock it or someone could sell their own one day. I did just see a S1 Ams plush go for sale. so. ehhuh.#hg. times like these I wish they made a Gus and Matty plush set ghhehgvvvv. IMAGINE A GUS PLUSH IF YOU WOULD!!!!#Granted I dont think we've seen Matty in an actual casual fit so he'd either hafta be in Hexside uniform or the fit he wore in TTLGR.#Which. Mighta? been his casual? outfit? uh. hm. In my mind I kept thinking that was his previous Glandus uni but Im not sure now LMAO#anyways w for huntlow. even if ya dont like it then hey an actually well made (and actually made) Willow and Hunter plush!#THO. HEADS UP. LMAO ITLL BE 120 FOR THE SET FHSBABSBW#yea I paid about 67 for my Luz plush and the Lumity set was like. 120 without shipping fees dfjwbsb#all cool tho. after all it is commission work!#dude I just love plushies. My sonic one is on the way argh argh argh.#I need to hold myself back from stimming cause more cool stuff like plushes for toh gets me really happy and excited djahb#but yea!!!!! hell yea!!!!!!! HELL YES DUDE!!!! FINALLY WILLOW MERCH!!!! also merch for gringito 👌#OH LMAO I bet Mr. Zeno Robinson is gunna somehow get 1. He deserves it#uh oh. lookin at these tags. I may have. whats the word. uh. infodumped? I dunno but I rambled a lot about this cuz Im actually excited#for this. BUT THEYRE SUCH A GREAT PLUSH maker ofc I would!!!! I wonder what designs they'd use tho. okay I should stop. bef. brgore I#before I ramble again too much rjaqnnqwn
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ayakashibackstreet · 4 months
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My friend's experiences with his graduation project (my friend finished all the backend stuff while the only thing his partner did is like.... a login page where all the input fields and buttons spill out of the div) inspired me to work on the frontend shit today again <3
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kingdumkum · 8 months
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ha ha ha a girl dips for a month for ~reasons~ and now I'm going to remind the whole dash I'm alive.
jk. it's more like... I've officially embraced the attitude of not giving a fuck. I spend too much of my day watching what I say and do to live in paranoid fear here too.
this little corner of a lost paradise is supposed to be mine! imma make it mine!! pls enjoy watching my chaos unfold!!!
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