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tossawary · 3 years

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Because my brain does NOT stop even when I’m grounded, today my brain told me, “Hey, I figured out how to make a Hobbit Fusion AU work.” And I was like, “Great! We’re working, though.” And my brain was like, “I’ve figured out how to make it a Pre-Canon Canon Divergence AU for Moshang.”

And I was like, “...I’m listening.”

The Hobbit is another one of my Comfort Media and it got brought up when I was asking about that, but I was feeling kind of “eh” about mixing Tolkien mythology with SVSSS. I mean, the mental picture of Dwarf Mobei-Jun is extremely funny and Shang Qinghua would make a great hobbit! But that interpretation felt a little too direct for my AU tastes.

So, hm, now I have another potential Big Bang contender. My love for The Hobbit is very, VERY strong and looking at my current outline, I have to be like, “Yeah, this could be 50,000 words, no problem.”

It’s a very good outline!

After saving Mobei-Jun, Shang Qinghua bailed A.S.A.P. because he honestly thought Mobei-Jun was going to kill him. He psyched himself out of sticking around before Mobei-Jun woke up. Mobei-Jun didn’t get enough information to track Shang Qinghua down.

Shang Qinghua (who isn’t SQH because he isn’t the Peak Lord) decides that he can’t fucking take it anymore and bails from Cang Qiong Mountain Sect too. The System objects, but also falls into line when Airplane shrieks at it. Airplane is going to go become a humble merchant and inventor and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop him!

It turns out that Shang Qinghua’s presence or help was actually crucial to stop some Emperor of the Abyss from taking over the Ice Palace and the Northern Desert. Airplane is like, “Oh, yeah, I remember… offhandedly writing something about that happening in the past off-screen?” It was one of those things that he just threw in there because it sounded really cool, and it gave Mobei-Jun another reason to “owe” Shang Qinghua and not kill him immediately, but he never got to elaborate on it because he was too busy writing stallion novel bullshit.

So, borrowing the lore from my “Horns” one-shot, an extremely powerful Emperor of the Abyss escaped the Eternal Abyss. This is some devouring horror being from the depths of the abyss, which ate everything in its vicinity in the abyss itself and crawled into the Demon Realm to eat more things. The Emperor of the Abyss was attracted to Mobei-Jun’s father. They fought. Mobei-Jun’s father should have won, but didn’t, because he was too fucked up (thanks to his own hedonism or something) to fight properly. What an asshole.

Mobei-Jun’s father was killed and devoured by the Emperor of the Abyss, which has made it… exponentially powerful. It’s now… basically a calamity. The desolation that it leaves in its wake across the Northern Desert is unspeakable. Mobei-Jun and his family, their allied clans, and pretty much all demons in the Northern Desert have had to flee.

Mobei-Jun is currently essentially a “guest” of the Sha Clan. He’s homeless. He’s lost the power of his ancestors. He’s a “king” without a kingdom. It’s humiliating. He needs to kill the abyssal creature to retrieve: his title, his ancestors’ power, and his kingdom.

While working for other demon clans to support his family and people, Mobei-Jun crosses paths with Airplane. Airplane has become a relatively successful merchant and inventor, and he calls himself Shang Houhua. He lives a very comfortable life and does his best to ignore anything resembling the plot. He’s pretty successful at ignoring the plot.

Mobei-Jun is never in a good mood these days, but he’s especially pissed off to see that human who abandoned him all those years ago. Airplane tries to argue that Mobei-Jun told him to fuck off, but Mobei-Jun is too angry. Airplane makes lots of offers in an effort to get Mobei-Jun to spare his life, one of which ends up being a claim that he can help Mobei-Jun kill the Emperor of the Abyss and make him a king again. Mobei-Jun pauses, now even more pissed off than before, and Airplane just starts babbling desperately to save his own skin.

Mobei-Jun was already forming a company to take on a Quest for the Northern Desert - in the hopes of slaying the Emperor of the Abyss and retaking his homeland. Part of the issue has been that forming the company is difficult. Mobei-Jun wants people who are loyal to HIM and ONLY to him. He won’t owe anyone else anything or promise them pieces of his homeland.

(Airplane is like, “Bro, I don’t know if you can afford to be so picky, but okay.”)

So Mobei-Jun is like… “I still want to kill you, but fine, you can come on our quest and help us.”

So Airplane ends up on the Quest for the Northern Desert, led by his very angry future murderer the “king without a kingdom” Mobei-Jun, to fight the calamitous Emperor of the Abyss who killed Mobei-Jun’s father. Fuck.

Some details beyond this opening premise:

Airplane and Mobei-Jun fall in love over the course of the quest, obviously. They have their own hijinks like each chapter of The Hobbit (equivalents to the trolls, to Rivendell, to Goblintown, to Beorn, to Mirkwood, and to Laketown, etc.).

Oh, damn, I just realized that making a pre-fall Tianlang-Jun and Zhuzhi-Lang the Beorn equivalents would be so fucking funny.

The Emperor of the Abyss is a horrifying Smaug equivalent. It can totally talk because Airplane having a conversation with a draconian horror sounds incredible. I would love to have Airplane outwit the Emperor of the Abyss in some fashion.

Mobei-Jun and Airplane somehow manage to successfully kill the Emperor of the Abyss together. Like, together. Probably using some plot device whipped up or some clever plan devised by Airplane on his feet. Mobei-Jun trusts Airplane at a crucial moment and it all works out. Airplane actually gets Mobei-Jun his kingdom back.

I’m tempted to just skip over the Ring and not having a Ring equivalent. BUT if I made this into a longfic instead of a one-shot, I would have a Ring equivalent (if it was a one-shot, I would ditch the Ring equivalent). I think I would make Xin Mo the One Ring equivalent. During the Goblintown equivalent event, Airplane falls either into the Eternal Abyss or into Bing-Ge’s dimension, where he proceeds to successfully take up Xin Mo because he knows the trick and portal himself out of the Eternal Abyss, or he proceeds to outwit Bing-Ge in some fashion and uses the Xin Mo sword to portal himself back to the right dimension.

So then Airplane is stuck with this super powerful sword that he doesn’t want to use again because he KNOWS that it will fuck him up. He KNOWS that it will FUCK HIM UP. So Airplane has to go through the rest of the quest ignoring the temptation of the Xin Mo sword that he is absolutely not supposed to have and can’t possibly let anyone else have.

(Oh, man, imagining the influence of Xin Mo giving Airplane extra horny thoughts about Mobei-Jun on the rest of the quest is very funny. Like, Airplane was already hot for Mobei-Jun, but now it’s worse and he might never have a normal thought ever again.)

Bagginshield Movie Hug when Airplane turns up again, for sure. Mobei-Jun thought he was dead. Mobei-Jun smiles and everything, until he remembers to frown again.

I’m feeling like I don’t want Airplane to use Xin Mo to help defeat the Emperor of the Abyss, but it makes sense if he does. Him not using it doesn’t make much sense. I do like the idea of Airplane dealing the killing blow and Mobei-Jun’s pride being hurt by Airplane being the one to kill it. I also like the idea of Mobei-Jun being a little smitten by Airplane just… loyally handing him his kingdom and restoring the power of his ancestors. I also really like the idea of Airplane just… not having some super powerful plot device up his sleeve on the quest.

Like, instead of Airplane’s Author God knowledge totally setting him up to deal with this thing no problem, Airplane had NO FUCKING PLAN when he set out with Mobei-Jun. He was talking completely out of his ass when he said he knew how to help Mobei-Jun. That this all worked out at all is almost completely due to luck and improvisation.

That feels MUCH more true to both Shang Qinghua and to Bilbo Baggins. Lucky lads of fast-talking, complaining, lying, not knowing what the fuck is really going on, thirsting after kings with tragic backstories, and somehow not dying despite winging it all the time.

Instead of goldsickness, Mobei-Jun is forced to deal with some side-effects of consuming the Emperor of the Abyss to regain the power of his ancestors. (Demon cannibalism rituals. Yeah.) He starts acting really scary and out-of-character and forceful, until Airplane loses his nerve and runs away. Maybe under the influence of the late Emperor of the Abyss, Mobei-Jun actually tries to kill him? I could see Mobei-Jun trying to kill Airplane for the Xin Mo sword which dealt the finishing blow on the Emperor of the Abyss.

(I need a better name for this thing. If I can’t come up with something that actually sounds good, I might just call it “The Calamity”, but that’s giving me BOTW vibes so I don’t like it. Maybe I’d call it “The Desolation” or something? Ehhhh, I don’t really like that either.)

I want to have a Battle of the Five Armies equivalent, if only so Tianlang-Jun and Zhuzhi-Lang can swoop in as benevolent helpers as the Beorn equivalents. Currently, I’m seeing three options. 1) The orc army equivalent are neighboring demon lords who want to strike while the new Mobei-Jun is getting established. 2) The orc army equivalent is Linguang-Jun trying to kill his nephew and take power at the last minute. 3) The orc army equivalent is Bing-Ge here with an army and he’s pissed off and wants his sword back.

On one hand, 1 and 2 would be SO MUCH EASIER to pull off. I could be really lazy about the whole thing. On the other hand, 3 would be much fresher (more surprising and links back to the Xin Mo element), more challenging and the idea of pre-fall Tianlang-Jun facing off with Bing-Ge delights me. Kick his ass, Tianlang-Jun!

(Su Xiyan gets involved? My brain says YES. Kick his ass, Su Xiyan!)

Also, I was sad about there being no Fili and Kili equivalents, because Mobei-Jun has no friends, and I’ll have to make up a company pretty much from scratch. (Sha Hualing is too young and Luo Binghe hasn’t been born yet.) BUT then I was like, “Where’s Linguang-Jun in all this?” And I would absolutely have Linguang-Jun be a part of Mobei-Jun’s Company. Instead of nephews, Mobei-Jun has a sketchy uncle who might be trying to kill him. Keeping Linguang-Jun out of it might be easier, but actually doing some character-building with him sounds fun and challenging, and I’d rather limit the number of OCs if possible.

Mobei-Jun manages to shake off the goldsickness equivalent somehow, probably through “the power of love” (and/or straight-up “dual cultivation” with Airplane?). Moshang makes up while Mobei-Jun is apparently mortally wounded from fighting Bing-Ge and Airplane thinks this is all his fault. But Mobei-Jun doesn’t die! It’s all good!

It’d be pretty funny if there was a “Returning to the Shire” equivalent where Airplane leaves because he thinks Mobei-Jun hates him now and never wants to see him again. So then Mobei-Jun has to track his man down like, “Get back here and marry me. (Also I am so sorry for trying to kill you. Please forgive me. I hate myself so much for that.)”

And they all live happily ever after!

Holy shit, this wasn’t in Proud Immortal Demon Way.

#svsss hobbit fusion au #tossawary updates #tossawary svsss #moshang #mobei jun #shang qinghua #comfort media fusion aus #fic ideas

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jade4813 · 4 years

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The Lies We Tell Ourselves, Chapter 10

Fandom: Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist

Title: The Lies We Tell Ourselves

Rating: PG (I’m assuming it’ll stay there?)

Pairing: Zoey/Max

Synopsis: Max would do anything for Zoey. Including posing as her fake boyfriend to give her father one last “big moment” to celebrate with her. Nothing could possibly go wrong. After all, it’s only his heart that stands to be broken. Right?

Chapter: 10/11

Author’s Notes: Takes place after Zoey’s Extraordinary Glitch.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Zoey was subdued as she led Max into her apartment. Her heart song had apparently convinced him to listen, but she wasn’t sure how to get him to give her a second chance. She didn’t know how to convince him of the truth.

But as lost and confused as she was, she knew that this was perhaps her one chance to make him understand. She refused to squander it. For the first time, she knew she wasn’t afraid anymore. If she could just get through to him, their love would be strong enough.

Taking his hand, she led him to the couch. “So.” She attempted to lob the first conversational volley, but nothing came immediately to mind.

As always, Max saved her. “So…that was quite the heart song you sang back there.”

“Yeah,” she agreed sheepishly. “But at least…it has to prove that I was telling the truth about my feelings for you. Doesn’t it?”

“It does,” he agreed, but there was just enough of a pause before he replied, and he dragged out the second word just long enough, that she knew it wasn’t going to be that easy.

“But?” she prompted.

He sighed. “But…I don’t want to hurt you, but I need to be honest with you, Zo. I’m not sure it matters if you were telling the truth.” Slumping, he linked his fingers behind his head and sighed. “The thing is, I’ve heard it before. Your heart song, telling me that you loved me. And just look what happened! You sang to me that you loved me, then you sang a song to Simon. You come over to my place and tell me you love me, and I know you were drunk but…how was I supposed to react to that? I wanted to believe it! And then you go and…” Dropping his hands, he looked over at her, and his eyes were sad. “I’m not sure if just knowing you love me is enough for me anymore.”

She bit her lip. “So you are mad at me,” she said softly.

“No!” he began to protest, before heaving a heavy sigh. “All right, yes. I guess I am. I’m just…I’m tired of being the fallback guy. I love you, Zoey. I’ve never had to question it. I’ve just known it. You will never come second to me, but I seem to always come second to you. How am I supposed to deal with that?”

She grabbed his hand, holding it in hers. “You aren’t second to me, Max! You aren’t! It isn’t like that! I admit I’ve been…confused. Scared. I was running away from my feelings. From you.”

He pulled his hand away. “And how do you think that makes me feel? To know that I’m so sure about you, the person I love – the person I am that sure about, well, isn’t really sure how they feel about me?”

“That isn’t fair, Max. This kind of stuff…it isn’t easy for me. But that doesn’t mean I’m not trying, and it doesn’t mean it isn’t real.”

His gaze dropped to the floor. “I know it isn’t fair. But it’s how I feel. And I can’t keep pretending it isn’t, even to myself, because I’m scared it will hurt you to hear.”

She dropped her head, watching her fingers twist anxiously in her lap. “So where do we go from here?” she asked, her voice soft and sad.

A long silence followed her question, during which she held her breath, praying he would say something that would make it all right. Instead, he replied sadly, “I don’t know. I just can’t be your backup plan, when things with Simon don’t work out.” When she started to protest, he shook his head. “I know you’re telling me now that’s not what this is, and trust me, I want to believe that. You have no idea how much I want to believe that. I just…can’t.”

Shifting in her seat, she wanted to reach for him, but he felt like he was a million miles away from her. “So this is it? I was so scared of losing you that I lost you anyway.”

Max stood, and she followed him to the door. “Not exactly. I mean, we’ll always be friends, right? I just need a little time to find my way back there.”

“But this thing…for my dad…are we still…”

He turned his head quickly, but not fast enough to entirely conceal his wince, and she realized that she was doing it again. Putting Max’s feelings second. Behind herself, behind Simon, behind her dad. That she didn’t doubt he understood why she was doing it in this instance didn’t change the fact she was doing it. And probably didn’t make it hurt any less.

But as he always did, he let her. His smile was reassuring when he turned back to face her. “Yeah, of course. You know I’d do anything for Mitch.” Hesitating a brief second, he leaned down and pressed a kiss against her cheek.” See you later, Zoey.”

She sighed as she closed the door behind him, leaning heavily against its solid surface. It took her a few minutes to clear her head, but then she knew what she had to do. Not for herself. Not to convince Max to love her. But for him. Because even if she had been driven by fear for too long and lost her chance at his love, he had to understand that he was wrong. He wasn’t a second choice. He deserved so, so much better than that.

It was going to require her to be just a little bit brave. But she could do it. For Max.

“Are you free for lunch today? I wanted to meet up with my dad, since we skipped out on charades.”

“Sure! What’d you have in mind?”

“Meet me at that park a couple blocks away at noon? I thought my dad would like the fresh air.”

“Sounds good. See you there!”

Trying to not pace, Zoey read the text for the fourth time in as many minutes, wanting to reassure herself that she hadn’t gotten it wrong. Max was on his way.

“This was a lovely idea, Zoey. Your father and I haven’t been on a picnic for years!” Maggie said cheerfully, laying out the blanket.

With some effort, Emily lowered herself onto the ground and started spreading out the food. “If this is all leading to you trying to convince us that your forfeited game of charades shouldn’t count as a loss, you’re wasting your time.”

“It didn’t even occur to me!” Zoey replied with wounded dignity. Actually, she probably would have made the effort, if she didn’t have so much on her mind.

“Uh huh,” her sister-in-law replied with a skeptical snort.

David took a seat beside her, being careful not to get grass stains on his suit. “What is this about, anyway? Not that I’m not glad to have lunch with everyone, of course, but you made it sound like an emergency.”

She took a deep breath. “I know. I’ll explain everything when Max gets here. I promise.” She was tempted to pull her phone out to read his texts one more time, but just then, she saw him approach. Although it sent the butterflies in her stomach into overdrive, she paused to admire the sight of him. Dressed all in black, his hair adorably tousled by the wind, she wondered how she ever could have been blind to how easily he took her breath away.

“Hey, guys! Sorry I’m a few minutes late. I had a meeting that ran over,” he greeted them apologetically as he placed his hand on Zoey’s waist and bent for a brief kiss. She put her hand on his shoulder, longing to hold him close to her forever, but she didn’t protest when he straightened and moved away to help finish setting things up.

Her family settled in to eat, and Zoey shot a quick look at her dad. He was just waiting patiently, staring at her, and she wondered if he somehow knew what she was about to do. Or perhaps that was just wishful thinking. She sucked in a long, shaky breath, trying to gather her courage. But then her gaze drifted to Max, and courage wasn’t so hard to find. As nervous as she was about disappointing her parents – particularly her father – she had no doubt she was doing the right thing.

“Before we get started, there’s something…I need to tell you. All of you,” she began, standing in front of her family stretched out on the lawn. I know you’ll probably have a million questions about what I’m about to say, but just…hear me out, okay?”

Max looked up at her in surprise. Then, glancing around the group, he seemed to suspect what she was about to do because he sat bolt upright. “Zoey, you don’t have to do this…” he began, jumping to his feet.

“Yes, I do,” she argued, holding up one hand to stop him in his tracks. Turning her attention back to her family, she continued, “The thing is, I haven’t been very fair to Max. For a while, now, really. And I realized last night that he deserves so much better than what I’ve put him through. So much better.” She paused, looking at her dad. “And all of you deserve the truth.”

“Zoey,” Max protested again, stepping around the picnic blanket to approach her, but she ignored him as Emily looked between them.

“This isn’t going to be another one of those moments where the two of you totally bail on us to go make out or something, is it?”

Her laugh was shaky, uncertain. Rueful. “No, pretty much the opposite, actually.”

Max tried to stop her one more time. Cupping her chin, he gently tilted her head back so he could meet her eyes and murmured, “You really don’t have to do this. Not for me.” She didn’t reply, simply grabbing his hand in hers and hold it tight as she turned back to her family.

“The truth is, a few weeks ago, Max really did hire an entire flash mob to tell me he loves me, and I did freak out. But…the rest of what we said was a lie. We aren’t together.” Her voice caught on the last word, but she forced herself to continue. “Romantically, I mean. We never have been.”

Her mom shot them both a confused look as she said in a tone of amused confusion, “Well, you’ve certainly been doing a lot of kissing for two people who aren’t dating!”

“I know,” she admitted, squeezing Max’s hand. “The thing is, when we got the news that…that dad was in the final stage of his illness, I wanted to give him one last big moment to celebrate. You know? So I…” Her voice caught, falling to barely above a whisper as she continued, “I asked Max to pretend to be my boyfriend. So dad wouldn’t worry about me when he…when he…” She couldn’t say it.

Her mom breathed her name in a shocked undertone. In response, stroking his thumb reassuringly along the curve of her hand, Max cut in, “She asked me if I knew anyone who would be willing to do it, and I volunteered.” He was trying to protect her, as he always did, and the realization made her heart ache.

Zoey was tempted to stop there. She knew their confusion would turn to condemnation as she continued, and she couldn’t stand to see that in their eyes. She especially couldn’t stand to see the pain her words would cause Max. But she owed him more honesty than she had yet offered, and so she bowed her head as she admitted, “But the thing is, I knew he would. I knew how he felt about me, and I knew pretending like this would hurt him. I didn’t mean to hurt him, but I did it anyway.”

“That’s…uh…that’s quite the story,” David finally spoke, breaking the silence that had fallen in the group. “I know your heart was in the right place, Zoey, even if I don’t agree with what you did. But Max? I don’t understand what you were thinking!”

“Don’t blame him,” she begged before Max could respond. “He did it for me. And I let him because…I think I wanted to pretend it was true. Even if I didn’t want to admit it. But Max…he’s been amazing through everything. Truly. He’s been willing to do whatever I asked him, just to make dad happy. Even though I’ve done nothing but hurt him over and over again.” She shot him a look out of the corner of her eye, bracing herself for what she was about to confess. “Even more than he knows.”

He hesitated, throwing her a confused look, and she charged ahead before she could lose her nerve. “Max had sung a song to me, to confess his feelings, so I decided to do the same. I sang a love song to him.” It was a small distortion of the truth, and she’d considered confessing all. But at the last minute, she decided it would be too much to try to explain her powers to her family, or the strange glitch she had experienced. As honest as she was trying to be, telling them that she had connected to her father in a way they couldn’t would only cause unnecessary pain. Even if they believed her, which was unlikely. “Then I…I kind of threw myself at Simon. I kissed him.”

She watched as Max recoiled at this confession, though he tried to hide it. She’d never told him that the kiss he had witnessed had not been their first. But the time for hiding the truth from him was over. He deserved honesty, even if it meant she lost him forever. He dropped her hand, and she curled hers into a fist, missing his warmth.

Her heart heavy in her chest, she concluded her confession. “I was confused, and I didn’t know what I wanted. So I did it again. I told Max I loved him, and then Simon and I…we kissed. Every time Max and I got close, I ran. Like I did after he sang to me. I’ve been an idiot, making one bad decision after another this whole time.”

Emily shifted uncomfortably on the ground. “Uh…this is fascinating, but I’m not sure we need to know all this,” she pointed out, trying to soften the harsh edge to her voice. In some ways, she wasn’t any better at dealing with other people’s emotions than Zoey. Maggie murmured something to her, and she cried defensively, “What? We were all thinking it!”

“You’re probably right, Emily, but after all this time, I owed you the truth.” Though she was addressing everyone, she spoke directly to Max. Although she’d managed to keep her feelings under control this whole time, but now that her confession was near the end, she found herself struggling not to cry.

Swallowing heavily, she glanced at her parents. “I’m sorry. Mom, Dad…David, Emily. I know I owe all of you an apology. I’m sorry I lied to you.” Then, turning to Max again, with her heart aching, she continued, “But mostly I’m sorry to you, Max. I know I’ve lost…everything. Your love. Your trust. And I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

“Zoey,” he breathed, but she shook her head, needing to get through this once and for all.

“No. I was selfish in wanting to pretend we were together when I knew how you felt about me. And I let my fear blind me to how I felt about you for too long. I know I’ve missed my chance, and none of this changes anything. But I really am sorry. But even if I haven’t showed it, I wanted you to know that…you’re wonderful. And…and you aren’t my backup plan. You aren’t my second choice. You never were. You’re…you’re my forever guy.”

“I…” He was staring at her with wide eyes, and she watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed heavily. He turned from her to her family and scanned their faces like he didn’t know what to say. “I…”

He looked to Zoey again, and she was amazed to see a tiny smile lurk at the corners of his mouth. “Actually, will you guys excuse the two of us? I think this is definitely one of those moments where Zoey and I bail on you so we can go make out.”

He didn’t wait for a response, grabbing Zoey’s hand and pulling her away. But they didn’t get far; when they ran behind a tree, she tugged at his hand, pulling him to a stop. He turned, pressing his back against the rough bark and pulling her into his arms.

“What -?” she started to ask, but that was as far as she got before his mouth was on hers, demanding and hungry. She speared her fingers into his hair, holding his head in place as she returned his kiss. She wasn’t sure what this meant, but if this was to be the final embrace the two would ever share, she would make it last, and she would carry this memory to the end of her days.

When the kiss broke off, she rested her forehead against his. Since their charade had begun, the scent of Max’s aftershave had clung to her, so that she carried him with her everywhere. Keeping her eyes closed, Zoey breathed him in. If she had the power to stop time, she would choose this moment to freeze, to live in for an eternity.

“Max?” she whispered, afraid to even hope. But when she opened her eyes, she found that he was looking down at her with such love, it was a mystery that she had missed it for so long.

“Oh, Zoey,” he murmured, leaning back to caress her cheek. “You didn’t have to do that for me.”

“Yes,” she replied firmly. “I did.”

“And you say you’re not good at big gestures,” he teased her lightly, leaning in for another kiss.

She didn’t protest. After all their confusion and misunderstandings, after all the time they wasted, she could have kissed him forever. “I really do love you, you know,” she whispered her promise against his lips.

“Yeah,” he answered back, his voice just as soft, this time without a moment of hesitation or doubt. “I know. Thank you. For your honesty.” His hands stroked up and down her back, as though he couldn’t get enough of touching her as he brushed feather-light kisses across her cheeks, her temple, her jaw, her mouth. “Oh, and for the record? I never stopped loving you.” He nibbled softly on her lower lip. “Well, maybe a little when I found out how wrong you are about the whole Stay Puft, T-Rex thing. You’re really, really wrong about that, and it’s very important to me that you admit it.”

She feigned a gasp of dismay, but she was unable to completely hide her grin as she protested, “I am not wrong about that!”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Her heart warmed at the endearment. “You really, really are. But more importantly…does this mean you’ve technically proposed to me? Because I’m not necessarily opposed to the idea, but don’t you think you’re moving a little fast? Anyway, I was hoping for a little more romance. You’d take me out to dinner…buy me a ring…”

This time, her gasp was real, and she laughed softly as she gave his shoulder a playful slap. “What? I did not just propose to you!”

Tilting his head to the side, he gave her a skeptical smile, but he was grinning when he replied, “Mmm…really? Are you sure about that? I’m your forever guy? That sounds like a proposal to me. Should we ask your family what they think? Because I think they’d agree with me.”

“Oh, my god. You are such a dork,” she groaned, rolling her eyes at him as she pulled him in for a searing kiss. Smiling against his mouth, she suggested, “I have a better idea. Do you think you could call off for the rest of the day? Because I can think of something better we could be doing.”

“Oh, yeah?” he asked, sounding adorably confused. “Like wha- oh. Ohhh!”

Zoey’s laughter was free and unbridled as she rested her head on his shoulder. “Like I said. You are such a dork.”

#the lies we tell ourselves #zoey's extraordinary playlist #zoey clarke #max richman #fanfiction #my fanfiction #zep #zomax #clarkeman #fake dating au

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inkribbon796 · 4 years

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Antagonistic Acquaintances

Summary: Everyone knows that Anti and Dark are friends, except for the two demons in question. Something that becomes a problem when Wil’s infidelity comes into question.

A/N: I wanted to write another one of these (and I finally got my act together and put them in their own series like I should have done ages ago). I have a need to have Dark and Wil be friends, my own unfortunate failing is that Henrik and Wil don’t make an actual appearance, but that will be overcorrected next time.

There were two other parts of this I’ve written before (their links are here):

Part 1: Eye of the Beholder

Part 2: Trouble in Paradise

Dark could feel it when Chase entered the Manor, he usually kept a tab of who was in the House at any given time. He’d been in a sour mood, one of Wil’s newest flings was causing trouble for him. Wil had been caught sleeping with the police commissioner’s husband. So now Dark, in addition to what he was sure was image damage control for himself, had to make plans to replace the police commissioner or risk actual effort in bailing Wil out of prison. He hadn’t slept in a week, had barely even thought of eating, he was just doing damage control for Wil and himself. All he was living on right now was coffee and magic.

Then to his surprise, Chase knocked at his door and walked in, Bing trailing behind him.

“Mr. Brody, what do you want? I’m busy.” Dark warned.

“I’ll be out ‘a yer hair in a sec,” Chase promised and set his phone down, note facing Dark so he could read it. “Yer new friend has a problem asking fer what he really wants.”

Dark glared at Chase with a face that read: “I don’t have friends” but Chase pulled Bing out and left the phone alone with Dark.

On the back of the phone was a note, clearly meant for Dark: “Anti’s in the phone, he wants to beat up Wil to restore your honor or some shite.”

That got a bit of a laugh out of him and Dark peeled the note off finding another on the back: “P.S: think Anti might have a crush on Henrik, hope he doesn’t cause too much trouble.”

Dark crumpled up the note, and threw it in the trash before he used his aura to push Anti out of the phone, sending the phone through the Void to Bing. “Anti, I’m a busy man, and I told you not to come back.”

“That lyin’ fooker!” Anti spat at the door.

“Be glad Chase brought you to me, I would not have appreciated a bigger mess to clean up,” Dark dismissed.

“I just wanna stomp his face in,” Anti proclaimed. “I warned that bastard what I’d do to him.”

“Save it, within the week Wil won’t even remember what happened and this whole mess will blow itself over,” Dark was already looking at the paperwork on his desk.

Anti let out an angry impatient huff, “Kay, I give, why are yah even with him?”

“I hardly think that’s any of your concern,” Dark dismissed firmly.

“Pretty sure I’ll find the information somewhere,” Anti warned. “Googs probably knows more than he lets on.”

“You touch him, and I’ll rip you in half!” Dark threatened angrily. “You touch any of the Egos and I’ll rip your code apart.”

“Wow, touchy,” Anti smiled. “That’s quite the twitchy trigger yah’ve got.”

“I’m serious glitch, I do not appreciate you meddling with my Egos, and sneaking into my home to pry into my personal business.” Dark was glaring furiously at the glitch demon, his fingers scoring marks into his desk. “Your input is not welcome.”

“Come on” Anti moved to float upside-down in front of Dark. “Either yah tell me somethin’ or I put my foot so far up his arse, he’ll be coughing up my laces.”

“What laces?” Dark scoffed at Anti’s shoes. “I’m half-certain you painted those on pieces of cardboard leather.”

“Arse,” Anti bit back, “serves me right fer tryin’ ta do somethin’ nice fer yah.”

“Nice?” Dark growled. “You just ordered me to tell you personal information or you’d kick Wil.”

“Well, maybe he deserves it, cheatin’ bastard,” Anti snapped defensively.

“Unless you’d like to confess that you are actually in a relationship with him, I fail to see how Wil’s serial adultery is any of your concern,” Dark dismissed coldly. “I willfully entered this arrangement with him, knowing that he is incapable of being faithful to anyone. My only concern is the mess he leaves behind in these circumstances.”

“See?” Anti gestured at him with both hands, turning right-side-up again. “That’s the part I don’t get. Yer all “no bullshite” but the instant Wil’s the problem it’s bullshit all the way down.”

Dark sighed, his left hand curled up, already knowing this was a bad idea.

“Wil is very dear to me, even if he doesn’t remember why,” Dark admitted.

“There any way ta undo that?” Anti asked curiously.

“No,” Dark looked even more tired. “You wouldn’t like him and he would kill me the instant he saw me.”

“Wow, yah get off on the danger or somethin?” Anti smiled, leaning in closer.

Dark rolled his eyes, pushing Anti away, “Of course not, quit being so vulgar.”

“I think you do,” Anti kept grinning. “I mean yer probably one ‘a the only ‘a Wil’s partners that’s lived more than ‘a couple rounds with the guy.”

“Is there anything in your brain but clogged air? Or are you purposely ignoring me?” Dark insulted. “That is clearly not the case.”

“Rubber and’ glue, arsehole,” Anti smiled. “Yah just don’t want ta admit that yer a closeted adrenaline junkie with a boyfriend problem.”

“I’ve told you information, you can leave now,” Dark dismissed. “Before I make you.”

Anti just laughed, “Right, if you were going to kill me you would have done it when I first walked in ‘stead ‘a threatenin’ me like a bitch.”

Dark sighed, muttering under his breath, “Why won’t you die?”

“What was that friendo?” Anti grinned, leaning close to Dark.

The Entity closed his eyes and then smiled, “So, Anti how is that German doctor off yours doing?”

Anti’s smiled vanished, “Who told yeh? Was it Brody?”

“I don’t need your little brothers to tell me things,” Dark said. “You’re as obvious, as you are childish.”

Dark made an overdramatic show of thinking about something, “Perhaps I should have a talk with him, invade some poor demon’s personal space and involve myself in his business where I’m not wanted or needed.”

“Don’t yeh dare,” Anti growled.

“Nothing bad could ever come from my selfless decision,” Dark feigned innocence but there was a faint smile on his face.

“Ha ha,” Anti hissed. “I get it, I won’t kick yer fookin’ boyfriend. Just fookin’ stay away from Hen.”

“Don’t know if I’ll be able to contain myself,” Dark grinned. “We’re just such, good friends.” He dragged out the last three words a bit.

Anti glared at him, “Fooker. Yeh an’ Wil are perfect fer each other.”

“Thank you,” Dark smiled. “Wil can be quite the charmer when he wants to be.”

Anti was clearly still upset.

Dark sighed, “I will leave your doctor to you, if you promise to let Wil forget this whole event. He doesn’t remember his trysts, they’re fleeting fancies. So long as he comes home to me, I let him do what he wants.”

“So he’s never remembered them?” Anti asked.

Dark turned back to his desk, looking so uncomfortable that Anti almost just dropped the subject and left. “There was once a woman, very precarious situation, Wil adored her.”

“What happened ta her?” Anti asked.

The Entity leaned back in his chair, a dull and sour memory stabbing at his soul. “She was killed by her husband. Her body was never found, Wil was distraught. Although he can’t remember her, in the back of his mind he still looks for her on occasion.”

The glitch demon was quiet for a bit. “This rat bastard have a name?”

All humor and calm was gone from Dark’s face. “He is mine to kill. Meddling in mine and Wil’s relationship is one thing. Sneaking yourself into my house is a show that I have to talk with Google about upgrading our security. But you will leave that murderous, lying skin thief to me.”

“Okay,” Anti allowed, throwing his hands up. “Kay, yah got it. Fooker’s yers.”

Dark nodded appreciatively, a slight shake. “You should take your leave before you overstay your welcome.”

“Got it, got it,” Anti smiled a bit, summoning up a portal for himself. “Just stay away from Hen an’ I won’t brin’ out the guilt police on Wil.”

“Deal,” Dark agreed.

Anti began to step through, but stuck his head back through the tear, resting his arms on the edge, one hand supporting his chin, “Hey, so Wil got drunk last week an’ started talking ‘bout some personal shite, is yer name Damien?”

Dark angrily slammed his hands on the desk, “Dammit Wil! Get out of here before I cut you in half with your own portal!”

“Sure thing Dames,” Anti stuck his tongue out and dipped back to the other side before Dark could decide if he actually wanted to cut the glitch demon in half.

Dark glared after him, half-tempted to chase Anti down and make sure he kept silent. But he took a look at the papers still covering his desk and decided to table it for a day. He had to make sure that the police commissioner stayed complacent, then he’d deal with the aftermath of Wil’s drunken exploits.

#Accidental Wingman Anti #Jacksepticeye #Markiplier #Antisepticeye #Darkiplier #Wilford Warstache #Henrik von Schneeplestein #Chase Brody #Bingiplier #frienemies #discussion of infedility #threats #past character death #Dark and Anti are friends #but neither of them want to admit it

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kenjiro-s · 6 years

Text

What goes well with tea ? A TeruYama story

Ch. 6

Of gangs and good advice

Tadashi kept staring at his phone like the words would change if only he wished hard enough. He had forgotten. Completely. Wow, he was both rude and inconsiderate. Why was the extremely attractive man even bothering with him ? He had come to the café, several times, and tried to chat and flirt and it didn’t make any sense whatsoever…

A voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like his best friend made him stop. An old memory, variations of which had risen on multiple occasions through the years, clicked and played like a film behind his eyelids.

The setting was always the same. A park, late at night, swirling darkness and a single lamp. A bench. The dreamlike quality of the memory make it seem more unreal with every repetition but it had actually happened so many times, he’d lost count even after he’d tried keeping one. Him, sitting on the bench and staring straight ahead, his friend on his side, probably not bothering to look at him.

- Why are you listening to them, Tadashi ? Why do the opinions of people who have no reason to be anywhere close to you matter ? They wouldn’t think about anything you say or do the moment you leave their eyes, why do you allow creatures you mean so little to have such a great impact ? Save that for the people who matter. Seriously, we go through this every single time. Stop crying, it’s pathetic. And come on, it’s getting late and my mom made dinner.

The words varied but the speech was the same. And Kei had been right, of course, he was usually right, which made him smug, which made people want to punch him in the face. But he was right, and Tadashi knew he was, but still. The man from the café, Tadashi glanced at his phone, Yuuji, had been in a different league. He had tattoos and piercings, and at least tried to flirt…True, not very successfully, but when was the last time Tadashi had tried to flirt ?

The memory mage him cringe. Kei coldly stating he knew what was going on, had known since the beginning, and then telling him to go with him to eat, had been both the summit and the rock bottom of his flirting. Later, he’d realised it had been hero worship and his first real friendship mixed together but it had taken him years to grow up. And now he was reduced to a shaking teenager again because a stranger had asked for his number. If Kei was there right now, he would be wrong. Tadashi didn’t feel pathetic anymore, but his reaction was still sad. So Tadashi did the only smart thing. The mature, adult thing.

He called a friend at one in the morning to ask for pre-relationship advice.

- Hey. – Short and to the point. Tadashi tried not to scream in the phone. He didn’t really know, because he’d never asked, what their relationship was, but he could guess.

- Um, hi. Is..is Kuroo there ? Can he speak ? Oh, is it a bad moment ? I know it’s in the middle of the night, sorry… - Hanging up before he could make even greater of a fool of himself, Tadashi went to duck his head under the tap and maybe drown himself in the sink, when his phone rung. Almost knocking down a flower pot, he swallowed thickly and looked at it with the corner of his eye. Oh, it was fine.

- Hey, if this isn’t my favourite baker. How are you, chef Yamaguchi ? Haven’t heard from you for a while.

- You know it’s not like that, Kuroo. Um, can I ask you something ?

- Can it wait until tomorrow morning ? – Could it ? Well, probably, but Tadashi knew he would stay awake all night, fall asleep around five and them be so out of his head he would forget again. He doubted the tattooed stranger would try again, all things considered.

- Well, not really. I mean…

- Are you okay ? – It was impressive how fast the man could switch faces. He sounded genuinely worried and Tadashi hurried to placate him. – Do you need me to pick you from somewhere ? Do you have money for a taxi ? Is it shady neighbourhood ? Hey, Kenma ! – And he could be loud. Tadashi tried to speak over him and explain, but nothing seemed to get through him. – Tadashi’s in a yakuza den and needs us to go and bail him out ! – Instead of programmer, Kuro should’ve become a writer with how colourful his imagination was.

- Kuroo, I am fine, please, you’ll wake your neighbours and I’m sure Kenma isn’t having the time of his life right now.

- I will suffer his wrath later. Will we need to sell our bodies to science to pay your debt ? Or just sell our bodies ? Because, in that case, I will call Bo. He can show off well enough.

- It’s nothing of that kind, Kuroo, please. I just…- He took a deep breath. – I need advice.

- Ohoho ? And it cannot wait until tomorrow ? Tadashi, do you happen to have a crush on someone ? Is this why you’re awake so late ? Hmmm ? – He could hear the other man’s smirk in his voice, Kuroo apparently having decided everyone was safe and there was no need to thread carefully.

- It’s complicated.

- So I am right ? Good, good. Now, do tell, who is it ? Oh, God, is it the hot boss you mentioned ? Is it ? Tadashi, getting involved with someone at work is not a good idea, let me tell you. Not enough places to hide if you want to…Ow, Kenma, those pillows are heavy ! Why’d you throw that ? As I was saying…

- Of course not ! – He shuddered. Kawanishi was more than hot, that was true. The man could be a model with his height and looks, but…No. Just, no. Also, he’d seen him with his blond partner and they were so sweet together it was heartwarming. – No, someone came at the café. And…Look, I forgot to answer his messages because of work, you know, but after a few days of silence he texted me again and I don’t…I don’t know what to do, Kuroo.

- Okay, Tadashi. Now, I will ask you something. And I want you to be honest. Do you want to go out with him ?

- Well, you see…

- Na-ah. – While a good reason to call Kuroo for advice was that he always tried to help, a really bad reason to do it was because…he always tried to help. – Come on. You can tell me.

- It’s..I guess ? Maybe ? He seems nice ? A bit awkward ?

- Are you telling me or asking me ? Look, is he a creep ?

- I don’t think so ? – And since that still sounded like a question, he tried again. – He doesn’t look like one.

- Oho ? Tell me a bit about him, then. So I know you’re in good hands.

- There isn’t much to tell. He’s a bit awkward, likes tea, isn’t familiar with foreign desserts, I think he’s scared of Kawanishi…

- Your boss ? – Tadashi had mentioned said boss a couple of times so it made sense Kuroo remembered the name. – Wait, is Kawanishi Taichi your boss ?

Wait, Kuroo knew the café’s owner’s given name ? How ?

- Um, yes ? You know him ?

- Yeah ! Man, he’s awesome. We have an actual audit department in the station. Or something. Anyway, he’s the head guy there’s boyfriend. Semi’s almost as tall as him, blond, dyed tips, you might’ve met him ?

- That sounds like the guy who comes to visit occasionally. Though… - It most definitely wasn’t Tadashi’s business who else Kawanishi saw behind his long-term boyfriend’s back. Though he didn’t quite understand it.

- Is this about Shirabu ? Yeah, we all know. We don’t ask, though, they are too entertaining to watch. So your admirer is scared of Kawanishi ? I can see where he’d be coming from. Obviously, he’s smart and has a sense of self-preservation.

- Hey, he’s not that bad ! – Tadashi felt like he owed his boss at least a defense.

- I’m not saying he is. He’s just scary. Anything else on your man ?

- Not my man. And… - Was he going to say that ? While he knew Kuroo might tease, he’d never really be mean on purpose. – He has tattoos.

- So I was right about the yakuza.

- That’s not…

- Hey, Kenma ! – He pulled the phone away from his ear. – I was right ! Kind of. Tadashi is marrying in the yakuza ! Isn’t that awesome ? – Whatever response Kuroo got, it had him cackling with laughter. – Kenma says to go for it. And I will tell you the same. Maybe mention it casually that you have lots of friends in the police, just in case he’s a deranged murderer. Though you being close to Kawanishi should scare him well enough.

He guessed he’d gone quiet for too long, because Kuroo sighed lightly.

- Look, Tadashi. If you feel even a bit uncomfortable, don’t go. If you think he’ll harass you at work or something, you just need to say the word, okay ? But if it’s just nerves, let go. Or, knowing you, don’t. But still go with it. Seeing him for a cup of coffee won’t hurt. Just try to breathe. If he gets too embarrassing in public, you can always get up and leave him with the bill. And unless he’s a total douche, he should be fine with you being nervous. It will be okay. Trust me. Have I ever given you bad advice ?

- Um, yes ?

- Exactly, I haven’t. So, go out, rise like a butterfly, like a phoenix, like, like a mummy…You get what I mean.

- Yeah. Thank you, Kuroo. No, really, - Because the other man had started explaining how it had been no trouble. – I know it’s in the middle of the night and all, and it was about such a small thing, so I’m sorry I woke you up…

- Tadashi. I’ve said it before and I will say it again. You’re no trouble and you’re not bothering me. Also, I wasn’t asleep. Kenma found this new shibari pose he wanted to try.

- Kenma found a what…?

- Good night, innocent one ! Go get your beauty sleep ! Bye ! – And then he hung up. Tadashi was extremely tempted to go and do some research on what his friend was doing tonight but on the other hand…Kenma was a bit strange, so whatever he was, it was probably kinky. And then he felt terrible.. Just because the other man was didn’t speak loadly and did what he loved, and didn’t seem to like people much, that didn’t mean he was bad or strange. He seemed to adore Kuroo and show it in his own quiet way, and that was so much more than what Tadashi had ever had, he could only feel envy. Also, he was always the voice of reason in the middle of Kuroo giving advice so, honestly, Tadashi was more than grateful for his presence.

He gathered his resolve and opened his messages.

Sure. How about Thursday ? I have a day off.

Wait, was that too much ? Was he overstepping ? Dating was way too complicated and they weren’t even there yet. Oh, were they going to get there ? Was this a date ? Was he moving too fast ? He probably was. That had been a mistake. He blamed Kuroo for most of those in his life, even if the other man had always been a calm and reassuring presence, in his own way. Still. This was a failure and it hadn’t even happened yet. He flopped on his bed and groaned in the pillow. Now at least he was certain he wouldn’t get any sleep.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu rarepair #terushima yuuji #yūji terushima #yamaguchi tadashi #yamaguchi #rare pair hell #teruyama

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