#have fun and enjoy the writings of little - not as traumatized and broken me

[aceofstars16]

Headaches

Okay so...I found this old fic...I might share it on AO3 at some point too? But eh, I'll share it here first. (I put it on AO3 now)

It's like...a four year old fic, and I'm pretty sure it was going to be part of a continuation story I had for Gravity Falls. But it kind of works as a one shot too? I edited it a little, but it still has some of my old writing style to it lol

Also, don't ask me what is wrong with Stan, I'm like...pretty sure it was part of my idea for the continuation, with Bill kind of coming back, buuuut...for the sake of this fic maybe it's just some residual effects of Bill going into his mind? *shrugs*

Putting it under a read more because it's eh a fic, so over a thousand words lol

“Another headache?”

Stan waved his hand. “It’s nothing, I’ve had hangovers worse than this.”

Ford couldn’t help but frown. He'd seen Stan wince more in the past week than in the entire time he’d been back on this earth.

“Oh don’t look at me like that, Poindexter. Come on, we have work to do.”

Trying to brush away the knot of worry in his chest, Ford followed his brother out onto the deck. Just a headache. Ford knew better than that, he'd brushed aside a headache once…never again. But this was Stan, it could just be a headache. Then again, it could be something more.

-----

“Maybe you should take it easy.” Ford was hesitant to speak, seeing as Stan only seemed to get more stubborn when he brought it up, but the quiet grunts of pain coming from his brother scared him more than he’d like to admit.

“I’m fine. Besides, you wanted to…what was it? Study the stars or something with this.” Stan grumbled as he hammered a bolt into Ford’s makeshift beacon.

“Study the paranormal activities in the universe, yes. But it can wait, we won’t reach the next anomaly site for a few days. And it looks like a storm might be coming, so waiting would probably be best.”

In reality, setting up the beacon earlier would be better, especially if the storm was related to any disturbances in the multiverse, but Ford had put his work before his family for too long. Never again.

Stan huffed but looked at the clouds forming and shrugged. “Doesn’t look like it'll be a big one.”

“You never know. Come on, I’ll cook us something.”

“Is that supposed to entice me?” Stan quipped, punching Ford lightly on the shoulder – or lightly for Stan.

“My cooking isn’t that bad…though it did get me kicked out of a dimension once…How about I just heat up some soup from a can?”

“Fine, but none of that mushroom stuff.”

Ford tried not to show his relief at Stan’s acceptance of taking a break, and nodded. “Deal.”

-----

The ship rocked back and forth as the storm raged on outside. Stan’s snores filled the air as Ford stared at the notes in his new journal. But his mind wasn’t on them. It was distracted by memories. Bloody eyes, hysterical laughter, regret, and fear that froze him in his tracks.

Shaking his head, Ford tried to reason with himself. It was just his anxiety acting up again, he was being paranoid. Stan just had headaches from being at sea for so long, or from working a little too much. There were so many other explanations for it.

But as he looked at his brother, fear trickled down his spine. What if it really was more than Stan was letting on?

Pulling out the map, Ford quickly deducted where they were at, before searching for the closest city.

-----

“What do you need in town again?”

“Just some extra fuses and parts in case anything breaks.” Ford said quickly, looking at the address he had managed to find on the computer – he still preferred paper to electronics when it came to finding things, but he had to admit computers were a little faster.

“Can’t you just fix them with what we already have? Half of the boat is filled with junk only you know how to use.”

“Just taking precautions.” Ford said, waving his hand, though he couldn’t help but feel a little relieved that Stan seemed to be acting more like himself. He didn’t appear to have a headache today, which was good. Though it could make this trip a little harder. Doubt crept into Ford’s mind. Maybe the headaches really were just something that would go away on their own. But the nagging worry in his chest kept Ford moving forward. He wasn’t going to gamble on this, not when it could hurt Stan.

Stan didn’t respond so Ford once again focused on finding the correct building. It was easier to spot than he thought, though he did notice the internet had it wrong. See, paper was better.

“Hey, that’s not a machine shop. Sixer, what is this?!?”

Ford had been expecting resistance, but he still let out a sigh. “As I said, it’s just a precaution. You’ve been having these headaches far too much for my liking.”

“You have got to be kidding me! I’m not going to some scam artist and paying them money for a headache that is just a headache!” Turning on his heels, Stan started marching back towards the ship, but Ford quickly bolted forward and grabbed his arm.

“Stanley. Please.”

Those two words stopped Stan in his tracks and he glanced back, meeting Ford’s eyes. An understanding passed between them, or maybe Stan just saw the worry Ford knew must have been brimming in his eyes.

“Fine.” Stan consented, but poked Ford’s chest. “But it’s a waste of time and when they say nothing is wrong you owe me some toffee peanuts and ice cream.”

Forcing a small smile on his mouth, Ford nodded. “Okay, though I doubt we’ll find toffee peanuts here.”

-----

They found toffee peanuts.

The doctor’s visit was, as Stan put it, a paranoid waste of time and money. And maybe he was right, maybe the headaches were just a result of stress, as the doctors said. But that didn’t stop the worry in Ford’s chest, in fact it almost seemed to be worse after the doctor’s analysis.

“Come on Sixer, cheer up. You can’t be right all the time.” Stan tossed an arm over Ford’s shoulder, a triumphant grin on his face.

A small smile touched the edge of Ford’s mouth. At least Stan was acting like himself, which was a good sign. Paranoia. Maybe thirty years in the multiverse had made him a little too suspicious of things.

-----

Days passed, and Stan seemed much better. Ford found his anxiety easing, if only a little. Yes, he still tried to keep an eye out to see if Stan was wincing or holding his head, but as far as he could tell, the headaches were gone.

“Just a little higher!” Ford called, narrowing his eyes as he looked at the beacon. The trip to town had added a few days to their anomaly trip, but now they were almost there.

“Always have to have it just right, hey Six-AGH!”

Ford froze as he saw Stan grab his head and fell to the deck.

“STANLEY!”

Rushing over to his brother’s side, Ford dropped to his knees. “Stanley?”

A groan was the only response and fear wrapped itself around Ford’s heart. He knew he should’ve insisted upon more testing, or medication, or something!

“Come on, let’s get you inside.”

Stan didn’t respond, but when Ford pulled him to his feet, he was standing mostly on his own, though he leaned heavily on Ford as they made their way inside.

Despite his own physical strength, Ford was panting as he helped Stan onto his bed – though maybe worry was a part of his fatigue. Plus, he wasn’t exactly thirty years old anymore.

As soon as Stan was lying down, Ford started rummaging around the cabin, looking for ibuprofen or any other pain reliever, along with ice and heat packs. All the while trying not to dwell on the fact that they were in the middle of the ocean, days away from the closest doctor.

“Sixer?”

Ford froze as Stan spoke and quickly rushed over with the few things he had found. “I’ve got you Stanley, here take these and you should-”

As he glanced up, the words stuck in his mouth. The world flipped and the air grew thin. Ford couldn’t breathe. He swore he could hear laughing, though maybe that was just a broken mind replaying sounds from all those years ago. From when he had felt blood falling from his eye, when Bill had used him. Only now it wasn’t his eye that was bleeding. It was Stan’s.

“No…no no no no.” It was the only word Ford could gasp out as memories, fears, total paranoia overtook him. Yellow eyes everywhere. Maniacal laughter. Crushing guilt. A mistake he could never fix. Screams mixed into the laughter, phantom pain raced through every inch of his body and there was no escaping it.

“And you thought you were the smart one, Fordsy.”

“Stanford Pines.”

“Fordsy Fordsy Fordsy”

“Sixer.”

“Outcast, just like us.”

Bill was everywhere, mocking him.

The voices blurred together. Ford could see them, he could feel them. Bill was in his head. Even though he couldn’t be, the metal plate kept him out. But he swore he could feel him.

“Sixer.”

A gasp turned into a sob was the only response Ford could make to the noise in his mind.

“Ford!”

Sharp pain shot through Ford’s head and he looked around, and he realized he was on the ship, staring at Stan – whose brow was creased with pain and whose eye was still bleeding – but who was gripping his shoulders, lifting him up from the ground.

“St-Stanley…”

“Ford, what…? Are you okay?”

“I…” His chest still felt tight, and Ford swore he could still hear Bill. It was only when he glanced at Stan again that he realized his brother was blurry through the tears in his eyes. And compared to Stan’s firm grip on his shoulders, he was shaking like a leaf.

“Ford, gosh darnit, TALK TO ME!”

“Bill…it…he…” Then a sob escaped his mouth. Ford hadn’t felt so broken in…well maybe it hadn’t been that long but that didn’t make it any less terrifying.

Arms wrapped around him and another sob escaped his mouth as he let himself hide in his brother’s embrace.

“That triangle is gone, Sixer. And if he comes back, I’ll punch him in his stupid eye. Got it?”

Ford couldn’t form a response, only a whimper escaped his mouth, but he managed a small nod and Stan’s arms tightened around him. He didn’t deserve such a good brother, after all he'd done, Stan was still there for him, hugging him when he was the one with a bloody eye and terrible headache.

“Got it?” Stan spoke again and Ford would’ve laughed if his mind and body weren’t so jumbled up.

“Got it.” Ford could only speak in whisper, but Stan seemed satisfied.

“Good.”

#gravity falls #stanford pines #stanley pines #ford pines #stan pines #sea grunks #gravity falls fanfiction #aceo writes things #was that my tag? I do not remember it has been a looong time #call this practice for when I hopefully finish timetrapped lol #have fun and enjoy the writings of little - not as traumatized and broken me

[muzzleroars]

um .. hiii i love ur art and writing so much and i jus. wanted u to know fallen gabe occupies my brain very often and i love the symbolism you use in a bit of your artwork, concepts and writing n its cool to see how much passion u put into everything :} i like hearing your understandings of the characters in their depth its really cool...

are there any little tidbits or scenarios youve thought of that you havent written about or shared yet, either deep or just fun and silly?

aaaaa thank you so much!!! i'm so happy you all give me the chance to express my thoughts and that you enjoy reading them even if i talk a whole lot.....i have definitely gotten very attached to this au and i'm glad you enjoy it with me, it's been so fun building it up and also getting to explain why make the choices i do (plus getting ideas from asks!!) also just so you know,,,,you have beautifully delicate work, it is so incredibly romantic in appearance and i absolutely love it ;o; it's so light and dreamy...i'm always amazed by how lovely it is!

as for other little scenarios, i have,,,,so many,,,,but i'll talk about a few of my faves!!

one scene i REALLY would like to draw out is raphael meeting with gabriel after he shows the councilor's head to heaven - raphael finds him before he leaves for hell and it's just...very quietly tragic, because the archangels in my headcanon are all connected, sharing in their souls and emotion. for gabriel's light to be ripped from him, for him to be bound for hell and surely for his death, is incredibly traumatizing for raphael, who will now also essentially be alone - michael left when god disappeared and uriel is in "meditation" (a coma really) so it's just been raphael and gabriel left, seeing each other in their brief times for rest (they all lived together - they would check on uriel before sitting together in the little time they had) they had drifted with all their duties, but they were forever bound as siblings and they took a lot of solace in each other's presence. at least that was constant. but now michael is gone, uriel won't wake up, and gabriel is dying. raphael is left as the last archangel standing and surely all of heaven will look to him for leadership. and gabriel knows he will be a good steward, not power hungry in the slightest. yet raphael is betrayed, hurt, he can't understand why this happened, why gabriel has to go now. there's so much to say and no time to say it. so ultimately raphael just embraces and blesses him (to gabriel's surprise given his slaughter of the council), telling him to take care even if there's no time left. i just. i love the archangels as a little sibling group that's fallen apart, yet there is still love in each of them ;~;

another scenario (or...set of vignettes i suppose) deal with v1's time before man's extinction, when it was still being tested in its facility. v1 was actually fairly "close" with the mechanics that repaired it and they got to know a lot of its idiosyncrasies (as well as v1 still using a lot of their vocabulary when it signs now) i have like. an entire silly scene where they wake it up for a little office party (NOT supposed to!!!!) and how v1 sometimes liked to "play hooky" from drills by pretending to be broken in some way (the mechanics got wise to it eventually, telling it that if it keeps that up they're gonna turn it back into scrap!!!) it didn't form any deep bonds with them like it might be able to now since it wasn't advanced enough then, but v1 remembers them fondly now that it has the capacity to. additionally, in that comic i made about meeting its makers in violence, i thought about including a little scene where one of the husks repairs some damage that had been done that blood couldn't heal and v1....sort of having a split-second of hesitation. because. that must be a mechanic. and in some way, it misses them. but really, all they want is for v1 to survive - that's why they would always fix it, even now.

OUGH also when v1 absolutely freaks out earlier on in its relationship with gabriel - i feel like i mentioned this at some point, but i really like the idea of gabriel becoming seriously injured in a fight with some demons/machines when he's adjusting to his fallen status, and in a panic v1 performs a blood transfusion. but. every single thing in its code screams at it not to, it has to bypass about a dozen security measures and shut down a decent portion of its functioning to allow itself to do so. but once it does, it realizes how off-programming the behavior was, to the point where it's convinced if it goes any further the corruption to its software will be so complete it risks fatal errors and brain death. so it bolts the minute gabriel comes to and it actually takes him about a week to find it again, absolutely terrified himself the entire time as he's not ready to lose v1 BUT ALSO significantly pissed off lol he's ready to give it plenty of shit upon reuniting with it, but with some explanation (as he REFUSES to let it run again), he comes to understand how serious this is...and just what v1 did for him in spite of all of its programming to the contrary.

THEN i just have a lot silly or cute things, like how v1 greatly enjoys bath time much to gabriel's surprise and often asks for "a wash" even when perfectly clean. i also KNOW i said this before, but v1 loves generating liminal pool rooms and impossible "animals" in its mind - it can spend HOURS doing this, and get VERY invested in it, but it didn't want gabe to be lonely so it made a "chatbot" to interact with him while it does this (v1 likes to call its internal bots "worker vee-s") he found it pretty funny since it was terrible, and quickly retired. oh oh and i also really like v1 and fallen gabriel staying with the ferryman for a bit when they don't yet have a place to live...and i talked about how the ferryman struggles accepting gabriel again, but i like to think gabriel still sings. he and v1 will snuggle in by the fire and he'll sing, just as beautiful as he did in haven even if it's now in the infernal language...and the ferryman will linger outside their door, listening to him sounding just the way he always has (they can get overwhelmed by it sometimes, but it helps when v1 cuts in with a midi remix lol) and finally since i've. gone on long enough. i know a lot of ppl do bird-coded gabe (rightfully so!!) but to me he is. sheep-coded. man will eat flowers right out of a window-box and headbutt as a primary way of attack. thank you.

#I COULD ADD MORE BUT I WILL STOP!!! #and as you can see i am just as focused on v1 and gabe as you would think..... #thank you for letting me get these out tho i needed it!!! #tbh tho a lot of thinking about them is just like. they are sharing a little apartment. hehe....cute..... #head empty!!!! #also have NOT forgotten little bad wolf v1 and righteous ram of the father gabe....they have a mini au..... #OK IM DONE I HAVE TO BE #cake answers #v1 #gabriel #raphael

[di-diwata]

Physical head canons for the OSEC group!

(I am working on an actual fic, however i am dead terrified of mischaracterising them to the point where I am struggling to write. So head canons instead)

Under cut:

I think Ursula has very rough hands, lots of callous on them. She works with machines so I think her hands have a couple scars on them from mishaps while repairing stuff. Also! She’s a mermaid, so she’s going to be in water a lot. More often than not if you touch her hands you’ll find them wrinkled as hell. <- your fingers wrinkle in water to help you better grip wet stuff.  Also, I think she has a scar on her nose from where she swam into a rock when first learning to swim.

Genie! She’s not been an explorer as long as Jai and Max, nor does she mess around with machines a lot, so I don’t think she has as many scars as the others. However she’s always covered in a variety of temporary injuries: hot glue gun burns and small cuts from her creating her hats. She’s got dimples i think, on both sides, and freckles. They all have freckles actually -when they’re not on expeditions they’re back at the base and that place is very sunny in my mind. She’s also got a little gap between her front two teeth.

Jai! First off: he was born missing his arm, so no traumatic accident there. However people like spreading strange rumours about how he lost his arm so depending on who you ask depends on what you get told. Also! The further into the series you get the less ‘perfect’ his appearance is (a physical manifestation of how he’s able to let his dad go, as well as the need to be always perfect). He has a few acne scars as well as just acne in general -especially on his jaw. After the book ends, I think he gets braces. He’d probably get them in the club's colours because he's a nerd <3 he’s also just got an assortment of small scars from previous expeditions. (It’s canon that he has a long straight nose btw. Putting this here for myself because I *will* forget otherwise)

Now Max! Like Ursula, Max is almost always working with machines, so his hands are quite scarred. He’s also got a bunch of random scars (like Jai) due to previous expeditions. I like to think he has a couple moles, one on his shoulder and two on his face. When he’s nervous or bored he chews his nails, so they’re constantly short. He’s broken a couple bones -a mix of doing incredibly stupid things and just getting into unfortunate situations- more than any of the others. He’s also got a lot of freckles; not so much on his face, but his shoulders and back are covered by them.

---

It's just a couple of silly head canons, but these were fun to come up with! it also helps me with visualising the characters lol. I might do more of these, i'm working on a clothing one atm.

I might also do something like this for the PBEC when i read it.

idk hope you enjoyed this post!

#the ocean squid explorers club #OSEC

[lutawolf]

hi luta!

i saw you did some analysis on tharntype and i wanted to, idk, talk a little about type to someone. i understand though if you don't want to reply/read/post this because i'm going to talk about, like, his past, because he's sort of important to me and i really enjoy your analysis

anyway

i know tharntype has a lot of flaws as a show, but as a csa survivor, type is kind of such an important character for me. he's an asshole, and says a lot of bullshit, and sometimes i want to punch him. and i love that about him. like. he's not a "perfect" victim, someone tragic but not traumatized. he's a dick, hard to deal with, and deeply traumatized, and a lot of his more rude character traits come from this. and i love that. i think sky is a more nuanced, refined version of that, but type was the first character i saw that had a similar past to mine and wasn't just a sob story on law&order: svu. he was a fully realized character with a lot of flaws, and he found someone to love him. it made me feel, i don't know, less broken? like i'm still worthy of love, despite my past, despite my trauma? i see a lot of that in sky too.

i don't know. i just had a lot feeling about this character (at least his concept; though i could do without the overt homophobia) and i wanted to talk about him and remain anonymous, i guess.

sorry for the rant, feel free to ignore it.

anyway. thank you so much, i hope you're having a lovely day!

Hey Love!!!

I was really enjoying writing the TharnType analysis, and then Mew had his tantrum. Kind of made the taste bittersweet. I don't need Mew and Gulf together. I'm a realistic fan who would love a love story, but really just wants a good show. However, when all I think about is the drama outside the drama when watching it, it's no longer fun. Anyway, that's why I've taken a break from the analysis, but I'm so glad you found them and enjoyed them.

Type is very important to me too. I think I've explained before that I too was that type of victim. It took me a long time to crawl out of the hate into survivor mode. You ever heard the song Ice Cream Man, by Raye?

And I was seven Was 21, was 17, and was 11 It took a while to understand what my consent means If I was ruthless, they'd be in the penitentiary But all the stress of being honest wouldn't help me I pushed it down, but it was living in me rent-free And then I fell into some things that were unhealthy A place where no one heard me asking them to help me

This song and TharnType help me not to feel so alone. To remember that despite the fact that I am damaged and will always be damaged, I can be loved too. I don't think people realize that most of us truly come out tortured, and we aren't sweet Polyannes that forgive all that is done to us. They see unrealistic portrayals of women just getting over it, portrayals by people who have never experienced SA and think that's accurate. It's not. Type is accurate. Being fucking pissed off and a ball of hate is a very natural reaction. And when we see correct portrayal, it's soothing. It reminds us that we aren't alone.

Thanks for writing to me. Please feel free to any time. 💜💜💜

#luta question and answer

[void-and-virtue]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers (ó ꒳ ò✿)

Okay this is super duper adorable so here goes, from the top of my head

1) Music. When I say 90% of my will to live comes from listening to my silly little songs I’m not kidding. Personal favorite is making carefully curated character playlists and cackling when it feels like it’s all coming together, or being sent songs by a friend bc they thought of me/one of my OCs while listening to it. Makes my heart grow five times in size fr

2) Listening to my friends talk about their OCs, stories, projects, whatever have you. I’m in four-person fandoms for ships that give me shrimp emotions and wouldn’t have it any other way.

3) Sunrises. Idk what it is about them but I am absolutely delighted when I wake up and get to watch them through my window. Not to say that I do that often or always (god knows my insomnia-riddled sleep schedule can be eclectic at best) but yeah I just really love starting the day with pretty colors and all that

4) Kinda specific to this time of year, but spring. It’s my absolute favorite season of the year and my mood has improved by about 700% since it got warmer and I get to spot flowers around, so I rlly encourage people to go have a look outside as well (unless you have allergies. Then I wish you godspeed and I hope your misery eases up soon)

5) Thinking about/rambling about/writing(hA) for my five billion started and incredibly unfinished WIPs and dearly beloved original character concepts. Maybe I should just call this “daydreaming about all the stories and AUs I’ll probably never write in full but inflicting my brainrot about them on the same handful of friends anyway” but I like to think that I’ll finish at least some of it one day. It’s just really fun to bounce headcanons and memes around together about stuff you enjoy and there’s something special to having someone willing to hear you out even tho you probably sound like a broken record while obsessively smashing the same severely traumatized fictional characters together like barbies.

#ask #honestly this is such a nice exercise to do #it actually made me think of way more than just five things and that was both surprising and delightful and made my day better #hope everyone has a great day today and can find something to enjoy in it <3

[ladylilithprime]

Lils's 2022 Fanfic Retrospective

Haven't done one of these in a while because something about Covid just seriously sapped my creative energies right out of me and I ended up not writing nearly as much as I wanted for 2020 and 2021. But something in Autumn of 2022 perked me back up, and here's what was accomplished:

Broken Hallelujah: My beloved non-linear narrative Archangel Samuel with Sastiel fic, with wonderful art by @jazzforthecaptain! Not a new fic by any stretch, but I did get a new chapter polished up enough to post.

Unspoken Rules Can't Be Broken: A deviation back into the Harry Potter fandom, because my fandom interests are ever-cyclical. This one was a writing prompt for Harry/Hermione with a specific prompted time-travel do-over premise. I'm not the only person to do it, but I seem to have done a few things that are unique according to my readers.

Wer zu Lebzeit gut auf Erden: More Supernatural! This one was a belated birthday gift to my beloved mutual enabler @rodiniaorzetalthepenquin, featuring a canon divergence at Swan Song where Lucifer and Michael were pushed into the Cage without their vessels, Gabriel took over Heaven, and the Winchesters were told firmly to take a few months (or years) off from doing anything that might break the world again. Very Samcentric despite being Dean's POV, and with some definite Sastiel undercurrents.

Every Time A Bell Rings: A platonic Destiel psuedo-sequel to "Wer zu Lebzeit" as a birthday gift for my bae @jupiterjames who deserved to have something sweet to enjoy. Castiel bakes a pie, and Dean has a canon praise kink. XD

Durch du Engel Halleluja: The actual sequel to "Wer zu Lebzeit" with Christmas, family togetherness, expected and unexpected guests, and Sam FINALLY gets to see the photographs Castiel and Dean keep taking. (Only chapter one got finished by midnight of December 31st, but by golly is this thing going to be finished before February!

Living, Learning, Tongue-Tied, Trying: A snippet originally written for Ro as a happy thought piggybacked off one of her fics of Team Free Will 2.0 before Chuck decided to be an assbutt with Jack going off to college. Also heavily Sastiel, because that's how we roll. XD

These Dying Embers: A contemplative Michael in the Cage watching Lucifer taking Sam apart over and over and over. I actually don't remember how long ago I wrote this one for @threshie, though if I took the hours needed to scroll back through my tumblr messaging history with Ro I'm sure I'd find a date range.

Crack Fic Hat Tricks: Also not new, these were born out of a writing challenge issued by @sageclover61 in one of the Discord servers. Despite the series name, they aren't all crack, but they were definitely all fun to write!

Diamonds Falling Down - Bela Talbot/Lisa Braeden

A Vow Unto His Own - Sam Winchester & Garth Fitzgerald IV

And I Feel Fine - Kevin Tran & Balthazar & Chuck Shurley

You Just Gotta Take A Piece Of Me - Gabriel/Donna & Anael

Let's Go Out With A Bang - Tessa the Reaper/Pamela Barnes/Ruby

Burn Your Biographies: Sabriel this time! Possibly unrequited, possibly not, I left it ambiguous because Gabriel was a traumatized little puppy for a while there.

Maybe More Than Enough: What's this? A new installment of the Something Beautiful Sastimmy Soulmate Saga?? In 2022?? Yep, apparently so! Dean gets filled in on the scoop Sam got from Castiel and sets off to get his brother's soulmate and his family some supernatural protection.

Sons of Men, and Angels: WOOOOOO! This is the original start to the Samael series, the very first work that featured Sam time-travelling back to derail the Apocalypse! I started this thing soooooo many years ago, and there's still so much in this universe that I've got written but can't post yet because THIS, this one is where it all started! If you've already read the Sam Squared series, you'll have a ton of spoilers for where this is going. And speaking of that series....

In The End We'll Surely Lose: This baby got two more chapters added to it, and the fourth is almost ready to be put up! Truly this was a good year for working with Samael's stories because...

Margin of Loss: Ouch. This one hurt to write. It was a random little thought of the canon universe that Sam left behind in SoMaA and the seasons of mess that followed and what it meant that Dean said Yes to a Michael from a completely different timeline instead of the one still trapped in the Cage with Adam. (It may also have been the jumping point of another SoMaA spin-off series like Sam Squared; there's a few of them at this point.)

The Dragon's Librarian: Another somewhat random ficlet that spawned in Discord chat with Ro-- literally, I wrote the whole thing in the chat window. Platonic or pre-Sastiel, with Prince Sam and Dragon Castiel as a hefty dose of inspiration from The Enchanted Forest Chronicles because I will probably never stop loving those books.

And last but definitely not least....

Tell It On The Mountain: A fluffy Sastiel story for @mrswhozeewhatsis for the @spnfanficpond Secret Santa exchange, featuring physically manifested wings, truth compulsions, cuddling by the fire, and mutual consideration for consent and bodily autonomy. (With some Accidentally Engaged thrown in for fun. XD)

And there we have it! Everything I wrote, worked on, and posted in the year 2022! Feel free to peruse various prompt lists I have and drop one in my ask box if you've got something you think would be up my alley to write, and let's see if we can't make 2023 even more prolific than 2022!

#2022 fanfic masterlist #supernatural fic #harry potter fic #sastiel #sabriel #rarepairs

[mylittleredgirl]

♡ dear rare pair creator ♡

thank you for creating something for me! i hope you're excited about whatever we matched on.

i'm pretty easily delighted, so i'm sure i will enjoy whatever you create. i'm including likes/dislikes and a few prompt ideas below in case they are useful to your process, but i LOVE being surprised by things i did not consider, so if you have another idea, please run with it!

--

general likes/dislikes are the same as on the exchange request, broken out into bullet points for easier reading:

general things I love:

happy/hopeful ending

episode-related fic

canon divergence

fix-its

friends to lovers

new or deepening relationship

pre-ship friendship/ust

pining

hurt/comfort

healing and recovery

reuniting after time apart

working through complications (e.g. working together while having a relationship, emotional baggage, traumas inflicted by canon, etc)

including other canon characters in the fic

polyamory dynamics

5 times

all ratings are welcome.

kinks enjoyed

soft dom/sub

praise kink

edging

aliens made them do it (or local canon equivalent)

overindulgence

masturbation

body worship (especially related to body image/weight gain/aging)

i have never said no to a quality blow job or hand job fic

sweet i-love-you sex works for me too!!

DNWs:

permanent character death

hurt no comfort

crossovers (except within extended canon universe, e.g. across star trek shows)

historical AUs

supernatural AUs where the characters are werewolves, etc (supernatural elements like telepathy/psychic powers/soulmates are fine)

vampires and zombies (ghosts and other canon-typical cryptids are ok!)

non-canon nicknames

bashing of characters or canon past relationships (except sam carter’s collection of questionable exes on SG-1, i can live with that).

--

🛸 the x-files

i fell back in love with late-season x-files this year! doggett/reyes was my fic writing origin story, and i am fully back on my bullshit with those two. i also LOVE the dynamic of the three agents in season nine, as people and friends, and it would be so interesting to explore as lovers. random prompt ideas:

john gets knocked around a lot — so what if it's monica's turn to be hurt/in danger on a case, and john's turn to find her or care for her afterward?

doggett/scully/reyes would be so complicated and interesting!! scully learning to trust anyone except mulder; how would it feel for john to spend time around william; there's a good chance this isn't monica's first poly rodeo, but what about the other two... etc etc any little bit about their dynamic would be fun to play with.

the real prompt for the ot4 would be "okay, but for real, how do they not kill each other?" but in a fun way.

--

🛰 babylon 5

this show is an old, old fave, so anything you write will feel like seeing beloved old friends again. pre-series, during, or post-series are all great, and i'm a fan of canon divergence! most of these characters get pretty traumatized by the narrative, and their relationships could be understandably fucked up as a result, but i like it when characters are good and loving at their core -- even if it looks messy while they figure themselves out.

i would love any fix-it that saves talia, with any combination of people involved

did lyta and talia know each other as young telepaths/psi cops interns?

for sinclair/sakai: i LOVE a reunion-of-exes-but-now-it's-right ship soooo much. anything along their journey, including a potential future where she goes with him to minbar or they otherwise reunite again, would be fun to read!

(note: i have read "to dream in the city of sorrows," so if you know it and want to use it as a backdrop for a sinclair/sakai future fic that's fine, but i'm NOT attached and would also love to see your canon divergence of choice!)

--

👽 stargate sg-1

clone sam/jack: i love it best when these two are still themselves, working through some angst and alienation from both their past and their new lives, but also with hope for a sweet future together. there's such a good opportunity for tension between what they were and what they are, both personally and for their relationship.

what's something that used to be normal, but feels so different now? (e.g. if one of them is in danger or injured... but could be anything!)

after they survive high school, what's next? when do their lives start to feel like their own?

janet fraiser/daniel jackson: these two often fall together very easily in the background of sam and jack fics, but they have lots of fun complications of their own (their professional lives; daniel's past; janet raising a traumatized child...), and they have so much potential to be good and loving and maybe a little snarky together.

heroes canon divergence where she survives but it’s a close thing — how does that impact them (either pre-relationship or established)?

something set off-world, since janet so rarely gets to travel through the gate...

--

👾 jake 2.0

this is an extremely niche pairing and so you are definitely not here to write this, but i love jake and diane sooooo much. if, by some rare pair miracle, you have seen this show (!!) i would adore ANYTHING about them!!

--

⚾️ deep space nine

i love this floating bicycle wheel in space and everyone inside it so much!!

julian/ezri: the canon execution of this pairing was not great, but somehow i still really ship it. it's complicated, there's war trauma, there's joining trauma, but i think they could recover together and be friends and lovers for real. i'll take anything from silly fluff to a messy deep dive, totally up to you.

what if the war has lasted longer, and it had taken longer for them to get together?

they could do with some shenanigans i think

miles/keiko/kira: there's so much potential here for fun and healing and cultural exchange, and at the end of the day, i just want kira to keep her new family.

during the series: what if they just keep delaying kira's move-out after the baby is born...

anything about getting the family (the whole ds9 family or just this family!) back together post-series

jadzia dax/lenara kahn: truly the closest we get to a canon soulmate au. i love them and want them to be happy 😭.

what if lenara was telling the truth, and just needed more time?

(note: i haven't read the ds9 post-series novels, but if you have and want to use them, i'm happy to memory beta anything i need to know to appreciate the fic!)

--

✨ voyager

b'elanna/kes: i believe that b'elanna loves and wants gentleness, even if she doesn't know what to do with it at first. i also adore kes as a character. her kindness! her powers, and how she is both drawn toward them and a little scared of them! her brief and vibrant life!

kes has no preconceptions about klingons, so how does that impact how b'elanna sees herself?

anything at all to do with kes's developing powers (and maybe how b'elanna reacts to them...?)

--

🍻 cheers

diane chambers/sam malone: this couple is an absolute disaster, but i would like them to annoy each other til death do they part. ideas:

how do they support each other (well or very badly) in their ongoing mental health/addiction challenges?

what if they stayed in touch on her writing retreat and/or she came back as promised?

if they did get married, diane would co-own the bar and i'm sure she would have ideas about what to do with it...

--

thank you again!! i hope this was useful and not overwhelming. you are totally welcome to toss it out and surprise me 💕 anonymous asks are turned on for this account if you have follow-up questions.

#dear author #rare pair exchange

[runnning-outof-time]

Hi! It's brimmingham anon! I hope you've been well! First off I wanna say I'm sorry I forgot to send in my thoughts on the last chapter!! I had them in my notes and got distracted and then forgot got send them!! So we're just gonna go over the last two Tom them now😂😂 But first off I loved both chapters!! I liked how we got to learn a little more about Y/N's background and the lives of her family. And then ohhhhh Y/N's gonna kill her brother! That was a twist I wasn't expecting!! 🥰 Like it makes sense but I just wasn't expecting that at all!! And I like how Tommy accepts it and doesn't try to convince her not too because he also knows she needs to do that!! And once again Ahhh they're getting closer!!THOMAS ADMIT YOUR FEELINGS!!!!! And ohh look how much he trusted her to invite her to a family meeting!!!!!😍😍😍 And then at the meeting I love how the family is so willing to support her!!! And then Ooohh I like how you ended the 15th chapter! It was a good like kinda cliff hanger spot!! 

And then chapter 16!!!! Also brilliant🥰🥰 Look at Tommy being concerned for his girl!!! I love that he actually stoped to have her talk and try to like hear the full story! Also Screw her brothers and her father!!! That's an awful thing they did!! Especially Garrett!!! I'm glad he got what he deserved!!! Poor Y/N😭😭 It must have been hard for her to make the choice to run and leave her mother! And I love that she finally felt comfortable enough to tell Tommy!! 🥰and then ohhhh the entire scene at the bar!!!!! Ahhh!! For that I love that Tommy and his brothers backed off for that to let Y/N do what she needed to at first! And I do like that she wanted to talk to him before she shot him and didn't shoot him while his back was turned. I don't know the word for it but I liked she did that! ALSO THE AUDACITY OF THIS BASTARD!!!!! How dare he!! And then oh no!! I was worried at first that he'd kill Y/N but I'm glad Tommy saved her!! Poor Darling that her brother traumatized her so much!! And idk if it makes sense I'm kinda glad Garett's death came the way it did. Like even if I kinda wanted to see Y/N kill him I think it was an interesting twist to have it not be her at the last minute. Like we know she's strong and capable but like she's still so hurt by her past that in this instance she couldn't yet, like she still needs to heal more? I don't want to say she's was broken to push past the fear of him to do it but like she was still at the point where she kinda got stuck in the memories just for a moment and that was enough for him to take advantage of it. And I really don't know if I'm describing my feelings right but I really did like that moment. It was something I feel I haven't seen a lot. And it was very interesting and it was very well written! Like I could feel her fear and anticipation when her brother took the gun!! Also I like how when Tommy killed Garett it was like quick and he didn't even say anything to the man. Like knowing Tommy he probably could have grabbed Garett before he shot again or shot him in the arm and like taken over killing him and I have a feeling Tommy would have liked to make him hurt a lot first. But he didn't I feel like because he was both so concerned for Y/N at the moment. But I liked how in the end Garetts death was quick and not drawn out because asshole wasn't worth the effort if that's makes sense!! And then awe!! Like look at Tommy being caring again for Y/N!! And Ohh I hope her mum's ok!!!!! 

Both of the last chapters were brilliant!!! I loved them both and I can't wait to see what's coming next!!❤️❤️ I hope you have a great day!!!

My beautiful Birmingham anon!! It’s so nice to hear from you again!! I’m doing well…I hope you are also!🥰❤️ no worries on the time…I’M sorry that this snuck through my notifications and I’m just getting to it now!

I’m so happy to hear you enjoyed the last 2 chapters! I had so much fun writing them and your lovely comments made me fall in love with them all over again! ☺️

She definitely wanted to be the one who carried out the act (and after hearing her backstory, I’m sure it’s evident as to why) … it was definitely a lot for her to come out with, and it was something I think even Tommy was surprised to here, but he had faith in her and knew that she could handle herself.

It was fun bringing her into a family meeting…I feel like been neglecting the other Shelbys for the sake of the main storyline, but having them pop into the events again was like a breath of fresh air haha. They definitely have (Y/N)’s back.

I didn’t think I’d have as much fun as I did writing Chapter 16…it was a storyline that came to me on a whim one day and the main event of it was fleshed out within minutes of it coming to my mind. I wanna give another big thank you to @peakyscillian who helped me figure out how I was going to weave (Y/N)’s backstory in and show how terrible Garrett really was to her. I couldn’t have done it without her.

I’m happy to hear that you liked how it went down. She didn’t want to just walk in there, pull the trigger and call it finished. She wanted to be able to get that last word in…and unfortunately that was what caused her to get stuck in her mind. I really wanted to show that, even though we’ve seen her take out other men, this man is different…and she’s still not totally over what happened when she left.

Tommy was definitely there to cover her though. You’re definitely right…he could have gone and prolonged it, but I think he just wanted him dead, for (Y/N)’s sake for than anything.

Now (Y/N)’s going to need to let her mom know of what’s gone down…hopefully that’ll be the last of the worries for the ladies from Sheffield. They deserve to rest.

Thanks SO MUCH for this lovely message!! It’s so good to hear from you again!! 🥰❤️

#asks answered #comment reply #birmingham

[god-whispers]

jan 28

better

i found this little writing online the other day. no accreditation was really give and so i assume it is free to share with others.  i hope all will find something in this that touches them as it touched me.  enjoy.

-------

one day, i did something very unusual.  i sat in a cafeteria while 5th and 6th grade students were eating lunch and cried.  i didn't care who saw.  i was upset about something, but it took more than that to make me cry.  in fact, i did exactly what i always advise other people not to do.  i thought about one problem and let it remind me of a lot of other problems, things in the past.  i sat there and thought about every person i'd ever known who went through some traumatic thing that i thought there was some possibility i could have prevented if only i had done something a little differently.

there was dropping out of school, becoming drug addicts, getting evicted from houses, shooting up, getting pregnant before finishing high school, getting diseases, quitting church, getting involved in prostitution, suffering physical abuse, and going to prison for selling crack.  all these things have happened to people i've known, people i had a chance to influence.

as if that wasn't enough, i didn't stop there.  then, i thought about people i don't even know.  starving kids in foreign countries, people who get murdered, abused, raped.  people whose loved ones die.  persecuted christians.  little kids who get cancer.  all the ugly things that happen to people in the world.  and so yeah, i was crying, and i didn't care who saw.  i was crying for everything and everybody, even the kids in that cafeteria, knowing some of their stories were sad or would be.  yeah, this world's really messed up.  so i asked, "God...can't You...do better than this?"

His answer was this.  first, He reminded me that all those people i know, His love for them is infinitely greater than mine could ever be, so His heart is infinitely more broken than mine for them...  then, He reminded me that all those people i don't even know, His love for them is that great as well.  (how can He handle so much heartbreak...?) ��next, He gave us all a wonderful world to live in.  everything in this world that's wonderful, every happy memory we've ever had...it's all from Him.  not only that, but He gave us everything we need to know to keep our lives happy and everything we need to know so that after this life, we can live a perfect life with Him forever.  it's all right here (in the bible).  if only we'd read it, if only we'd listen...

if we ever doubted that anything He told us to do or anything He told us to NOT do was in our best interest, if we ever thought that maybe He just wanted to waste our time or ruin our fun, He proved He loved us too much to ever do that to us.  HE DIED FOR US.  He is smarter than all of us put together.  He has more love for us than all of us put together.  everything He tells us to do is for our benefit, our peace, our joy, our fulfillment.  everything He tells us not to do will only bring us sorrow and pain.  yet, so many ignore His loving commands, choosing instead to follow our own ideas, the world's ideas about what will make us happy... so many people doing that, each of us doing that sometimes, that's what makes this world messed up.  so God's question back to me, back to everyone: "can't you...do better than this?"

"but i'm only one person.  what can i do?"

that's the question that we each need to ask ourselves.

here's what i can came up with.  in a world of great darkness, i can be a small light when i reflect His light.  Jesus said, I am the Light.  when i feel discouraged, i can push forward, relying on Him, so that somehow, in my own unique way, i can bring God's love to a world that so desperately needs it.

"to all the ones i've wanted to save from sorrow but couldn't: i'm thinking of you tonight.  i still love you, and i'm sorry.  by trying to help, i have taken your burdens into my heart, and now a portion of them weighs on my shoulders as well as your own, but i don't regret trying...

-------

can't we ALL do better?  "nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house" matt 5:15

[c-is-for-circinate]

Like, is the gist "Real life pedophilia/incest/rape is bad, and stories saying these things are good are bad, but including these topics in a story isn't inherently bad, so the people being like 'hey, maybe Ao3 shouldn't have so much kiddie porn there's an entire category called "Underage"' are just overreacting and making things worse?" Because it feels like you're saying, "your negative reaction to this stuff is valid, but also you're annoying and prudish and bad and really you aren't valid."

So here’s the thing: it really does not sound like you're asking this question because you want my answer, it sounds like you want to be angry with me and have a fight. And fair enough! I'm not terribly interested in a fight, but apparently this is my day to dive into this topic as thoughtfully and honestly as I can be. Maybe I'll say something you haven't already heard from other people before. Maybe not! Only you, anonymous asker, know that.

To begin with, you got part of the gist right. Real life rape (including child abuse/child sexual abuse as well as incest) is bad. Stories about rape, about underage sex, and about incest, are stories.

They're stories. They're pixels on a screen. They're not real. Whether they claim that rape is good, or bad, or sexy, or melodramatic, or life-destroying, or a normal Tuesday afternoon. They're stories.

And having a negative reaction to them is valid. Stories can stir up powerful emotions in people. It is absolutely, 100%, fair and valid and even normal for there to be certain tropes, plot elements, events, and kinds of content that make you upset and that you never want to see in a story you read, ever. You don't have to want to read about sex. You don't have to want to read any of it. That doesn't make you bad.

There are tropes, plot elements, events, and kinds of content that upset me. There are stories I won't read. The same is true of literally everyone else I know. Even though I know the stories aren't real. Even though I know the things happening in them are happening to fictional characters, who do not exist, who I cannot protect and who also cannot be harmed because they're not real. Even then, I can be made sad and scared and upset and hurt by reading those stories. And that is okay and that is valid and I am not bad or wrong for being upset about the story I've read, and neither are you.

But that doesn't mean the story doesn't have value to somebody else. That doesn't mean the story isn't important to somebody else.

What I see most often coming from antis, possibly even including yourself, is an overwhelming desire to protect. They want to keep themselves and others--possibly people they know, possibly hypothetical people they may never meet--safe from being hurt by these stories. And that desire to protect, also, is normal. It's even admirable! The problem, though, the thing that does more harm than good, is when that desire to protect drives people to lash out against things that matter to other people.

There is a difference between actual rape and stories about rape. There is a difference between a story that could theoretically hurt somebody, someday (which is all stories, always), and a story that hurts you personally. And there is a difference between a story that hurts you personally, and a story that is inherently poisonous to everyone who touches it.

We know--absolutely, scientifically, incontrovertibly--that stories about rape do not make people rapists. Yes, even the stories where the rape is there to be sexy. Even stories where the person being raped is a child. Even then. Fiction is not the same thing as normalization; again, there are far smarter people who have written far more extensively on that topic than I, and next time I come across something that goes more into detail on this point I promise I will reblog it. If this really is the thing you're afraid of, I may not be the right person to convince you that this is an unfounded fear, but I know someone out there can elaborate on it.

(Unfounded, which is not the same thing as invalid. My mother's claustrophobia is unfounded; it flares up in many situations where there's no physical threat whatsoever, where she has plenty of space to move and air to breathe. It's still real. It still chokes her. It's still valid, she is not bad or broken to feel that way, and she still can't drive through certain tunnels. The fear is real. But the thing she's afraid of can't physically hurt her, and that is worth knowing in terms of how she deals with it.)

We know, absolutely, scientifically, and incontrovertibly, that stories about rape and many, many, many other things can hurt and even traumatize their readers. Even though the situation you're reacting to is not real and you receive no physical injury, you can still be hurt by it. The key word there, though, is readers. The fact that the horror genre is out there terrifying people who enjoy being terrified for fun does not damage me unless I do something stupid and try listening to the Magnus Archives again and end up tense and miserable and paranoid for the rest of the week. The fact that guacamole is apparently delicious to everybody else in the world does not hurt me unless I do something stupid and order the wrong thing at a restaurant, and end up itchy and miserable with a little trouble breathing for the rest of the night.

The fact that there are, yes, tens of thousands of fics on AO3 in which characters under the age of 18 have sex? It can't hurt you. Those fics do not hurt you by existing. They can only hurt you if you read them. They can only hurt anyone who reads them. That's why there is an 'Underage' tag--and it's worth noting, 'Underage' is a warning, not a category. Nobody wants you to get hurt reading the wrong fic, any more than the sushi chef wants my throat to swell up because I ordered something with avocado. Literally nobody wants that.

The flip side, of course, is that you hating each and every one of those fics individually and as a group doesn't actually hurt me, or anyone else who writes, reads, or enjoys them. By itself. You can hate anything you like, and fic writers can write anything they like, and it all comes out in the end, more or less. Except.

Except that reading fic is always, entirely, 100% opt-in, and online harassment isn't even opt-out. Some antis have a nasty habit of going after writers whose content they don't like; climbing into inboxes and comments sections, calling those writers nasty names, throwing around cruelties and aggression and insults. I know that's not the same thing as simply disliking a genre, or even passively disagreeing with its existence (although disliking a genre and disagreeing with its right to exist are also very different things). I know not all antis do that. I don't know you, anon, but based on the speed and aggressiveness of this response to my last post, I can't help but wonder if you would do that.

And that does hurt people. Just like it might hurt you if someone threw a bunch of content that makes you uncomfortable into your inbox. Including the harasser, actually--because getting into fights with strangers on the internet about things that make you angry, sad, defensive, and upset isn't good for anybody. Including both you and me.

Anyway, after yet another lengthy ramble, let's get the tl;dr response to your ask here: nobody is ever bad or wrong for disliking certain content in their stories, no matter what that content is. You and your emotions are valid. The "overreacting and making things worse" part isn't about what you feel, but what you do with it. Constantly engaging with places where the thing that upsets you will probably show up, even to argue and try to fight it, will make things worse in the sense that now you're spending way more time thinking about this thing that makes you upset and angry, thereby leaving you more upset and angry. Getting together with a bunch of your upset, angry friends to make your feelings everybody else's problem? Makes fandom a more toxic place for everyone else involved.

Don't read stuff that's going to hurt you. Don't make other people read stuff that's going to hurt them. That's the whole thing, really.

#Anonymous #asked and answered #rape cw #incest cw #discourse #anti discourse day

[youhavenocock]

This Dungeon Crawl is Totally Broken! (3/?)

((ok im naming the dragon thing. bc i like it and i have more ideas for it

‘this series is just for fun’ i say to myself as though all of my writing isn’t strictly self-indulgent first and foremost))

start / prev / next / ao3

Chrys was finding it much easier to move around recently, but she was sure it had nothing to do with the considerable hoard of treasure that had recently been freed from her gut. She must have adequately traumatized the previous adventuring party, because she hadn't been bothered since meeting that odd rogue who called himself a businessman. Therefore, she was left to roam the familiar terrain of the dungeon's lower level, hunting for a suitable dinner.

Upon her return, two-thirds of a chimera clamped between her jaws, that odd rogue was waiting for her. Chrys recognized him not by his appearance, but by how he was sitting, reclined against a rock, legs spread, watching her approach without a hint of trepidation.

Chrys took her time, sparing him no attention apart from her initial glance. She dropped her fresh kill near where Gene sat, close enough to shake him from his comfortable lounging.

"Had I known you were coming, I would not have bothered hunting," Chrys said coldly. She lowered herself, resting her head on her scaly forearms, watching Gene like a cat watches a mouse.

"I see." Gene's cheeks reddened. Chrys's snout filled his vision, and the air expelled from her nostrils alone was enough to push him backwards. He recovered quickly, remembering that he was more prepared this time. "Then my choice of offering is most fortuitous."

Gene hefted a large package off his shoulders. It was no common adventurer's pack, much flimsier, a tough kind of paper. Chrys toyed with the bindings until it unfolded, revealing a bundle of dark, aromatic rocks, each the size of Gene's head. The strong smell made Chrys's nose wrinkle, but it wasn't quite unpleasant.

"This is your idea of sustenance?" Chrys rolled one of the bitter-smelling objects between her claws. Too soft to be a rock, she realized, as it began to crumble in her grip. The smell grew even stronger, and the pieces that crumbled away had the color of rich, loamy soil.

"Dark chocolate," Gene explained. "I presumed you had access to as much meat as you desired, and it seems I was right to do so." He nodded toward the freshly-slain chimera next to him, as casually as if it was just another item he was trying to sell. "But surely you've never tasted something like this. The dragon palate seems to prefer bitter foods, and this is the highest-grade chocolate on the market."

Chrys squinted dubiously. "Very subtle, thief. You think this puny offering can quell my hunger?”

Gene grabbed his chest dramatically. “You wound me! I wouldn’t dream of wriggling out of our arrangement. But given what little you’ve deigned to tell me about yourself, I only had one characteristic to work with."

Chrys bristled. She was far more than some dull beast driven only by hunger. She was also too intrigued by this foreign foodstuff to reject it entirely. Placed on her tongue, the substance began to soften and melt, flooding her mouth with an entirely unprecedented taste that commanded her senses. She could have easily crunched the rock down to powder, but she instead allowed it to melt down her throat.

"Passable." Chrys refrained from looking back at the package to gauge how much was left. Dragons did not require such wasteful foods as desserts, yet she could imagine herself devouring the rest of the package, paper and all, if she did not restrain herself. "Certainly better than much of the cuisine brought before me, though that isn't a particularly high metric."

"It pleases me to hear so. Have you given any more thought to what luxuries I could provide you in the future? There are plenty of other rare delicacies you might enjoy. Jeweled fruit from the elven forest, beasts roasted whole and marinated in exquisite spices, rich pastries prepared for the king's own table..."

Chrys traced one claw in the dirt, drawing absentminded circles wider than Gene was tall. "Mm. Little morsel, are you trying* to stoke my appetite?"

Gene quivered under Chrys's hungry gaze. "N-no, I truly-"

Chrys plucked him from his perch between two gentle claws. "Let's see how your offering compares to my *preferred dish." A pointed tongue slipped from between Chrys's exposed pair of fangs. Partially extended, it was still large enough to slather Gene completely as she thoroughly licked him like a postage stamp. She hadn't had this opportunity last time; Gene's forwardness had surprised her. Now, though, he had no choice but to submit to her indulgent tasting.

"Not too bad," Chrys hummed to herself, withdrawing her tongue and swallowing in anticipation. "Although you could do better to find a dish that pairs well with the taste of your flesh. Something sweet, perhaps?"

Gene was left to dangle, but his hands were free to wipe saliva from his face. "I'll keep that in mind," he sputtered. Again, the dark pink muscle peeked out out Chrysanthemum's mouth, and this time Gene took a deep inhale before he was once again pressed into its slimy ridges. It was coarser than a human tongue, he noted, with taste buds large enough to be handholds, were they not so slippery.

Instead of withdrawing, Chrys parted her jaws slightly, just enough to pull Gene inside before closing them again. Gene went from damp to soaked in the wide basin of her mouth. Even had he been able to see, there was nowhere he could flee to. Chrys's barricade of teeth stood at his back, and he knew all too well what waited ahead of him.

Chrys tasted him a few moments more, but when Gene expected her to finish things off, she instead opened her mouth, allowing him to see exactly where he was. Although he was fairly sure Chrys wouldn't actually bite him, it was still unnerving to see her enormous teeth within arm's reach. Beyond them was the curve of dungeon wall becoming ceiling, and Gene grew dizzy imagining how far off the ground he was.

"Rope," Chrys prompted as best she could while keeping her fangs away from her quarry. Gene was jostled but unharmed, slipping awkwardly into the tender area beneath her tongue. Chrys carefully maneuvered her tongue to allow Gene to stand upright.

"Right." Gene had no illusions about Chrys's willingness to let him out after he retrieved his treasure, but neither of them were in a position suited to argument. He quickly did as Chrysanthemum asked, tying the rope first around her tooth and then around his waist. Out of habit alone, he tugged it, as though its sturdiness had any bearing on his fate.

That was all the prompting Chrys needed. Feeling the gentle tug on one of her fangs, she closed her mouth and tipped her head ever so slightly back. She held Gene against the roof of her mouth and swallowed teasingly around him, letting the taste of him coat her gullet completely before she allowed him to slide to the back of her tongue, where her relaxed throat was open and ready.

Like before, Chrys relished the sensation of the human being pushed deeper and deeper into her powerful body, handling him as easily as one of the chocolates he'd brought her. The only annoyance was the rope, tickling her sensitive throat and disturbing her natural reflexes, but that was a key element in Gene's appeal. The knowledge that she *could release him, that he wasn't trapped by simple gravity but by Chrysanthemum alone.

Interrupting her pleased musings, Gene had the gall to begin his work of removing the blockage in her gut, daring to soothe her stomach lining. Chrys poked at the lump shifting in her gut, and chuckled at Gene's subsequent yelp of surprise.

"You're making this difficult," he said once he recovered.

"This is part of the deal," she purred back. "Businessman or not, you're my dinner. This is what happens to dinner that misbehaves."

Gene continued on without response, extracting foreign objects from Chrys's stomach indiscriminately until his pack was full. He had focused on valuables last time, but that had proved challenging, the uneven folds of Chrys's stomach combined with the piles of refuse making the terrain near-impossible to navigate. Thinking big-picture, Gene figured it would be most efficient to just clear out everything. All metal could be sold as scrap, after all, and Gene didn't think so highly of himself to assume he could identify precious metals in the darkness of a dragon's gut.

Less picky, he finished more quickly, but he wouldn't be getting home any sooner. The air itself began to burn, and the shimmer of acid at his feet was forming distinct pools. He tugged the rope, finding it still attached, but truly, it made little difference.

"Shall I even bother trying to ascend the rope?"

Chrys rubbed the slight bump in her belly, feeling it rumble from Gene's raised voice. "Only if you fancy a swifter death. I do wonder if you taste as delicious on the inside as you do on the outside."

Gene was grateful Chrys couldn't see him shiver at the thought. "A generous offer, but no. This method is...peaceful, almost. Like falling asleep."

Chrys was jilted at that comparison. It was insulting not only to her, but to the hundreds of adventurers who had been traumatized by that very end. She'd used this method specifically to torture those who intruded on her nest, and had grown accustomed to being lulled into a post-lunch nap to the sound of agonized screaming. Nothing she did was 'peaceful'.

"Then you are a fool."

An overly-apologetic rebuttal would've suited Gene, but his body was growing heavy with unnatural fatigue, the stifling air seeming to choke him, and he found himself too tired to be anything but truthful. "I'm sorry you think so. Because I happen to think rather highly of you."

Chrysanthemum jolted. She hadn't heard that correctly. Gene was mumbling to spite her, surely. "What was that, worm?" she growled at her stomach, which only growled back. It was already making quick work of its meager contents. The soft bulge of her stomach did not move.

Without considering why, Chrys pulled on the rope still tied to her tooth, but her claw sliced clean through. The weight in her stomach was yanked up and crashed back down to the pit of her stomach.

Well, she hadn't intended to sever the rope, but that was for the best. Her sentimental nature had almost gotten the best of her. She didn't care what that mouthy mouthful had to say. She shouldn't be speaking to her food in the first place.

Speaking of which, her stomach loudly announced that it still had plenty of room. Chrys turned her head toward the mangled chimera corpse, her disappointment dipping into disgust. She had always subsisted on fellow monsters when adventurers ran low, but something about today's prey was simply unappetizing. It could have something to do with its proximity to the open package of chocolates sitting beside it.

Chrys waited a few minutes before reaching for the bag, wanting to ensure that Gene really was gone. Then, with a smile to herself and *only herself, she placed another dark chocolate piece on her tongue.

Delicious. If only it could last her until Gene's next visit. She would have to remember to ask him to bring some more.

#v.ore #v0re #v/ore #vore writing #dragon vore #dragon pred #willing prey #soft vore #reformation vore #cock writes

[psychewritesbs]

Chapter 159: Justice is blind + Foreshadowing from chapter 6 and JJK0?

This chapter we’re introduced to Higuruma, one of the players in the Culling Game with 100 points who Yuji and Megumi will most likely target in an attempt to add new rules to the game. 

As I mentioned before, JJK is the equivalent of Murphy’s Law on steroids and we are guaranteed for Gege to pull the rug from under our feet. For all you know, the odds that Higuruma agrees to help them without a problem are 50/50.

Onto this week’s theories... This is a long one so brace yourself.

Higuruma’s Shikigami is the stuff of nightmares

Higuruma’s Shikigami, if that’s what it is, is loaded with symbolism. Perfect for my Cursed Technique of reading between the lines and over-thinking every single detail.

What I love about Higuruma is that he is a man on a mission--sort of like a Shonen Protagonist. He is single-minded in his pursuit of saving those he sees as victims to the monster that is the Japanese legal court system.

Despite continuing to put himself on the line for the people he is trying to “save,” the oppressive system that they are part of makes it impossible for him to achieve his goals. And yet, he keeps trying to fight the beast that is the legal system even when the odds of him ever winning are .1%.

In the end, it isn’t the legal system itself that breaks him, but rather his own unwavering conviction combined with his frustration and the anger from those he promised a victory he was not able to deliver despite his greatest efforts.

The only thing granted to all is an unfair reality

Lady Justice has been depicted as blind since the 16th century. Her blindfold is meant to represent her objectivity and impartiality before the law.

But Higuruma knows that a 99.9% conviction rate is anything but objective and impartial. Keeping his “eyes open” is his desire to bring awareness to a system that is broken.

What I found interesting, however, is that while Higuruma is intent on keeping his eyes open, his Shikigami’s eyes are sewn shut, as though they are being forced shut by thread.

If there is anyone who is closest to embodying the ideal of blind justice, it is Higuruma.

This makes me wonder how we’re going to see Higuruma’s character evolve, especially as he comes across Yuji and friends.

Higuruma vs. Megumi/Yuji?

Remember I said Higuruma might be willing to help Yuji and Megumi add a rule? I don’t think that’s what’s going to happen, but it is still a possibility. He does seem like a fair (pun intended) person after all.

What’s being set up, I feel like (and I could be wrong), is a showdown between two opposing belief systems: 

Higuruma’s blind trust in serving and facilitating justice vs Megumi’s self-serving justice.

Ironically, they both 

want to save good people, 

neither considers himself to be a hero, and 

their sense of justice is self-serving... they just have different criteria for what that means

Higuruma wants to facilitate justice for people who are innocent but are victims of the Japanese Law system. He’s done the research and he believes these people to be innocent and as having done nothing wrong. 

On the other hand, Megumi wants to facilitate justice for people he cares about no matter how potentially dangerous they are (and this last bit is really important). 

I realized recently that despite Sukuna having killed a lot of people during Shibuya, Megumi has not attempted to kill him since the Cursed Womb Arc. 

Remember, Megumi has said he’s responsible for those deaths since he was the one who saved Yuji.

In addition, not only does Megumi need Yuji’s strength to save Tsumiki, but I am going to go as far as saying that Megumi cares deeply for Yuji to the point he still doesn’t want him to die even after everything that has happened up to this point.

Which begs the question, how is Higuruma going to react to Yuji’s existence?

This brings me to the possible foreshadowing from all the way back in the Cursed Womb Arc and possibly even JJK0.

Foreshadowing from chapter 6 or Crack Theory?

When I first read the new chapter I was intrigued that one of the characters Higuruma is defending as an attorney has a similar backstory to Tadashi from back in chapter 6.

Although their face structure looks similar...

The circumstances are slightly different in that Tadashi’s case involved driving without a license and Higuruma’s client was drunk driving.

But if we’re willing to suspend judgement for a minute, this is important because, if it is, in fact, Tadashi he is referring to here, then this panel just goes to show that Gege foreshadows like a boss. 

And what if that girl who got ran over happens to be Rika from JJK0? 

There isn’t necessarily concrete evidence that Tadashi is the one who ran Rika over AND I would need to look at the timeline of events more closely, but if it IS the case... talk about butterfly effect in action.

But the foreshadowing doesn’t end there. Someone pointed out that in chapter 143, Megumi tells Yuji they aren’t heroes fighting for justice and that no one can truly ever judge JJS.

So... no one can judge sorcerers, unless judging is exactly what Higuruma has been doing to rack up points...

The fact that Higuruma has 100 points tells us he’s been on a killing rampage, and from everything we see him go through in the chapter and from that look on his face in the last panel, we should not be surprised that he’s gone off the deep end.

Honestly, characters who loose their shit (hello Feral Megumi) are one of my favorite things about JJK.

I am writing all of this because it goes to show that Gege does not show you anything in his story that doesn’t have meaning in the grander scheme of things. Which leaves room for interpretation about whether Saori and Yuko will have roles moving forward.

Right along these lines, in looking for a specific line from chapter 9, I ran into this little gem:

Is this foreshadowing about Tsumiki too? 

Maybe, maybe not.

As I said before, half the fun is in going through the journey of JJK unfolding before our very own eyes, while putting the pieces together from all of the breadcrumbs Gege dropped along the way.

But the fun doesn’t end there. I am fascinated at how as a fandom we willingly get traumatized when Gege kills off everybody and their mom that you cared about, while simultaneously loving every single minute of it.

We know it’s coming, and we’re there for it.

That’s Gege’s Cursed Technique for you... he gives you what you didn’t know you wanted.

Gege setting up the stage for madness

All in all, Gege has been painstakingly setting the stage for the madness that is to come during the Culling Game and the hype just keeps on escalating. If the Culling Game arc is anything like Shibuya, we can expect, again, Murphy’s Law in full effect. 

I was chatting with @darthdutton​ about how I started reading the Shibuya Arc only a few months ago and therefore I did not get to experience it as it was unfolding. 

It makes me so happy that I now get to experience the Culling Game as it happens and I am both so distraught and excited for whatever comes our way.

And when I say “whatever comes our way” I mean that I trust Gege to continue to surprise me.

I am here for the hype but I stay for the story

I loved this chapter! 

I thought it was the f*cking bomb.com because you can see Gege starting to tie loose ends from possible foreshadowing he shared at the beginning of the story. 

Plus, we got to see his story-telling skills in action as he creates yet another relatable character.

I truly admire Gege as a writer--the fact that he can come up with a story on a week-to-week basis, execute on it, create very human and relatable characters, set up foreshadowing all the way back at the beginning, and drop breadcrumbs along the way is just mind-blowing to me.

God, I love Jujutsu Kaisen.

Anyways... this was a bit long but I just felt like I had a lot to say about this seemingly insignificant chapter. Hope you enjoyed it, and as always, I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts on it! 

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen manga #jujutsu kaisen spoilers #god i love jujutsu kaisen #jjk theory #jjk ch 159 #fushiguro megumi #megumi fushiguro #yuji itadori #Itadori yuji #gege akutami #okkotsu yuta

[wolfstar-in-color]

July Colorful Column: Remus is a Crip, and We Can Write Him Better.

There is one thing that can get me to close a fic so voraciously I don’t even make sure I’m not closing other essential tabs in the process. It doesn’t matter how much I’m loving the fic, how well written I think it is, or how desperately I want to know how it ends. Once I read this sentence, I am done.

It’s written in a variety of different ways, but it always goes something like this: “You don’t want me,” Remus said, “I am too sick/broken/poor/old/[insert chosen self-demeaning adjective here].”

You’re familiar with the trope. The trope is canonical. And if you’ve been around the wolfstar fandom for longer than a few minutes, you’ve read the trope. Maybe you love the trope! Maybe you’ve written the trope! Maybe you’re about to stop reading this column, because the trope rings true to you and you feel a little attacked!

Now, let’s get one thing out of the way right now: I am not saying the trope is wrong. I am not saying it’s bad. I am not saying we should stop writing it. We all have things we don’t like to see in our chosen fics. Maybe you can’t stand Leather Jacket Motorbike Sirius? Maybe you think Elbow Patch Remus is overdone? Or maybe your pet peeves are based in something a little deeper - maybe you think Poor Latino Remus is an irresponsible depiction, or that PWPs are too reductive? Whatever it is, we all have our things.

Let me tell you about my thing. When I first became very ill several years ago, there were various low points in which I felt I had become inherently unlovable. This is, more or less, a normal reaction. When your body stops doing things it used to be able to do - or starts doing things you were quite alright without, thank you very much - it changes the way you relate to your body. You don’t want to hear my whole disability history, so yada yada yada, most people eventually come to accept their limitations. It’s a very painful existence, one in which you constantly tell yourself your disability has transformed you into a burdensome, unworthy member of society, and if nothing else, it’s not terribly sustainable. Being disabled takes grit! It takes power! It takes a truly absurd amount of medical self-advocacy! Hating yourself? Thinking yourself unworthy of love? No one has time for that. 

Of course, I’m being hyperbolic. Plenty of disabled people struggle with these feelings many years into their disabilities, and never really get over them. But here’s the thing. We experience those stories ALL THE TIME. Remember Rain Man? Or Million Dollar Baby? Or that one with the actress from Game of Thrones and that British actor who seemed like he was going to have a promising career but then didn't? Those are all stories about sad, bitter disabled people and their sad, bitter lives, two out of three of which end in the character completing suicide because they simply couldn’t imagine having to live as a disabled person. (I mean, come on media, I get that we're less likely to enjoy a leisurely Saturday hike, but our parking is SUBLIME.) When was the last time you engaged with media that depicted a happy disabled person? A complex disabled person? A disabled person who has sex? No really, these aren’t hypothetical questions, can you please drop a rec in the notes?? Because I am desperate.

There are lots of problems with this trope, and they’ve been discussed ad nauseam by people with PhDs. I’m not actually interested in talking about how this trope leads to a more prevalent societal idea that disabled people are unworthy of love, or contributes to the kind of political thought processes that keep disabled people purposefully disenfranchised. I’m just a bitch on Tumblr, and I have a bone to pick: the thing I really hate about the trope? It’s boring. I’m bored. You know how, like, halfway through Grey’s Anatomy you realized they were just recycling the same plot points over and over again and there was just no WAY anyone working at a hospital prone to THAT MANY disasters would stay on staff? It's like that. I love a recycled trope as much as the next person (There Was Only One Bed, anyone?). But I need. Something. Else.

Remus is disabled. BOLD claim. WILD speculation. Except, not really. You simply - no matter how you flip it, slice it, puree it, or deconstruct it - cannot tell me Remus Lupin is not disabled. Most of us, by this point, are probably familiar with the way that One Canonical Author intended One Dashing Werewolf to be “a metaphor for those illnesses that carry stigma, like HIV and AIDS” [I’m sorry to link you to an outside source quoting She Who Must Not Be Named, but we’re professionals here]. Which is... a thing. It’s been discussed. And, listen, there’s no denying that this parallel is a problematic interpretation of people who have HIV/AIDS and all such similar “those illnesses” (though I’ll admit that I, too, am perennially apt to turn into a raging beast liable to harm anything that crosses my path, but that’s more linked to the at-least-once-monthly recollection that One Day At A Time got cancelled). Critiques aside, Remus Lupin is a character who - due to a condition that affects him physically, mentally, emotionally, and intellectually - is repeatedly marginalized, oppressed, denied political and social power, and ostracized due to unfounded fear that he is infectious to others. Does that sound familiar?

We’re not going to argue about whether or not “Remus is canonically disabled as fuck” is a fair reading. And the reason we’re not going to argue about whether or not it’s a fair reading is because I haven’t read canon in 10-plus years and you will win the argument. Canon is only marginally relevant here. The icon of this blog is brown, curly haired Remus Lupin kissing his trans boyfriend, Sirius Black. We are obviously not too terribly invested in canon. The wolfstar fandom is now a community with over 25,000 AO3 fics, entire careers launched from drawing or writing or cosplaying this non-canonical pairing. We love to play around here with storylines and universes and races and genders and sexualities and all kinds of things, but most of the time? Remus is still disabled. He’s disabled as a werewolf in canon-compliant works, he’s disabled in the AUs where he was injured or abused or kidnapped or harmed as a child, he’s disabled in the stories that read him as chronically ill or bipolar or traumatized or blind or Deaf. I’d go so far as to say that he is one of very few characters in the Wide Wonderful World of media who is, in as close to his essence as one can be, always disabled. And that means? Don’t shoot the messenger... but we could stand to be a tiny bit more responsible with how we portray him. 

Disabled people are complicated. As much as I’d like to pretend we are always level-headed, confident, and ready to assert our inherent worth, we are still just humans. We have bad days. We doubt our worth. We sometimes go out with guys who complain about our steroid-induced weight gain (it was a long time ago, Tumblr, okay??). But, we also have joy and fun and good days and sex and happiness and families and so many other things. 

Remus is a disabled character, and as such, it’s only fair that he’d have those unworthy moments. But - I propose - Remus is also a crip. What is a crip? A crip - like a queer - is someone who eschews the limited boundaries placed on their bodies, who rejects a hierarchy of oppression in favor of an intersectional analysis of lived experience, who isn’t interested in being the tragic figure responsible for helping people with dominant identities realize how good they have it. Crips interpret their disabilities however they want, rethinking bodies and medicine and pleasure and pain and even time itself. Crips are political, community-minded, and in search of liberation. 

Remus is a character who struggles with his disability, sure. But he’s also a character who leverages his physical condition to attempt to shift communities towards his political leanings, advocates for the rights of those who share his physical condition, and has super hot sex with his wrongfully convicted boyfriend ultimately goes on to build community and family. Having a condition that quite literally cripples you, over which you have no control, and through which you are often read as a social pariah? That’s disability. But using said condition as a means through which to build advocacy and community? Now that’s some crip shit. 

Personally, I love disabled!Remus Lupin. But I love crip!Remus Lupin even more. I’d love to see more of a Remus who owns his disability, who covets what makes him unique, and who never ever again tells a potential romantic partner they are too good for him because of his disability. This trope - unlike There Was Only One Bed! - sometimes actually hurts to read. Where’s Remus who thinks a potential romantic partner isn’t good enough for him? Where’s Remus who insists his partners learn more about his condition in order to treat him properly? Where’s sexy wheelchair user Remus? Where’s Remus who uses his werewolf transformations as an excuse to travel the world? Where’s crip Remus??

We don’t have to put “you don’t want me” Remus entirely to bed. It is but one of many repeated tropes that are - in the words of The Hot Priest from Fleabag - morally a bit dubious. And let’s face it - we don’t always come to fandom for its moral superiority (as much as we sometimes like to think we do). 

This is not a condemnation - it is an invitation. Able-bodied folks are all but an injury, illness, or couple decades away from being disabled. And when you get here, I sincerely hope you don’t waste your time on “you don’t want me”ing back and forth with the people you love. I’m inviting you to come to the crip side now. We have snacks, and without all the “you don’t want me” talk, we get to the juicy parts much faster. 

Colorfully,

Mod Theo

#wolfstar #disability in fandom #disabled remus #crip remus #please write me some crip remus #I beg of you #fandom meta

[mindibindi]

They are destroying Rebecca’s character this season and this Sam bullshit is the final nail in the coffin for her. What the f*** are they doing to their female lead ??

Well, I suppose this is the danger of offering resolution early in the piece and why so few television writers do it, particularly when it comes to romantic relationships. Because then there is the looming question of What Happens Next. So many writers prove that, while they may have the imaginative juice to create, they don't have what it takes to re-invent.

Whether you understand her as the protagonist or the antagonist of the first season of Ted Lasso, Rebecca's big revenge plot drove s1, gave it a clear narrative arc. This inaugural season likewise gave her character a clear and compelling arc. You could posit that, while Rebecca's pain drove season 1, Ted's pain is meant to be driving season 2...? But whatever Ted is going through does not have as clear-cut an objective so it is not giving the same sense of cohesion or direction. Within her s1 arc, we got to see Rebecca feel angry, frustrated, victorious, smug, thwarted, conflicted, heart-broken and vulnerable. Last season gave Hannah Waddingham so many opportunities to show the range of her skills as an actor and I still hope she wins an Emmy for this performance. But I doubt she will be winning any awards for her performance this season.

Most situation comedies stick to the same situation, snapping their characters back to where they were at the beginning of each episode. Certainly, this formula can become repetitive and dull after years. Ted Lasso received a great deal of praise when it broke this formula by offering resolution at the end of its first season no less. It broke the no-hugging-no-learning mantra of so many sitcoms when it allowed Rebecca to learn from her trauma, come clean and literally embrace Ted as a valuable part of her life. Since her character went on the biggest journey of the season, the question of What Happens Next was always going to be more significant for her than it was for any other character on the show.

Season 1 of Ted Lasso made me fall in love with Hannah Waddingham and the character of Rebecca Welton. But as much as it pains me to say it, in s2 she is nothing like the problematic powerhouse we met in s1. Her friendships with Keeley and Higgins continue on nicely enough. She's had some good moments with characters she had little interaction with in s1, like Roy and Nate. And it was great to meet her mother and god-daughter. But this fleshing out of the character is mostly work around her rather than work that propels her forward in any meaningful way. I understand that some people may be content just to watch Rebecca living her best life after the intensity of last season. But, for me, the pursuit of heterosexual romantic love by a woman to the exclusion of all else is a problematic aim since women have been told for centuries that securing a man is the single most important thing they can achieve in their lives.

Rebecca wants love and doesn't want to be alone. She's stated that, that's canon and that's fine. But romance seems to be Rebecca's ONLY aim, her single focus. We haven't seen her do anything in her role as club owner except make a phone call and look sharp, which I admit she does well. The woman looks INCREDIBLE. But if you are in your right mind (at least in my opinion), you are not expecting this amazing woman to end up with a pretentious windbag, a hot booty call or a wildly inappropriate youngster. So it all seems a bit aimless, purposeless. All of this dithering about with wrong dudes is just a waste of time when we have limited time with these beloved characters. We know we are only getting three short seasons of this show and I don't want to spend a full season watching a previously complex female character stare at her phone, only ever prompted into (questionable) action by her cute best friend. And I DEFINITELY don't want to watch...whatever the fuck they think this thing is with Sam.

Frankly, I am still flabbergasted that they have chosen this path. They genuinely seem to think that their audience will enjoy this as some hot romantic adventure...? And hey, a small but vocal minority are. Some diehard fans are trying to hold onto their faith with white knuckles. And the rest of us are just over here in compete and utter shock at the suddenness of the decline in this show's quality and ethics. The latest justification some fans are rather desperately grasping at seems to be that Rebecca's actions stem from her trauma. Now...okay. Trauma can be responsible for many things. But not this. Trauma can make you act in v strange ways but I don't see the connection here. I can clearly see how Rebecca's trauma from her first marriage dictated her actions towards Ted in s1. That is a very clear line to draw. I can see how, after her disastrous marriage, her judgement may be off and she may go for someone like John Wingsnight: someone safe, solid and appropriate. Again, a clear line to draw. I can also see why she would indulge in fun, shallow sexual relationships with the waiter in Liverpool and her booty call from bantr. All normal, understandable behaviour for a woman in her situation. And a v clear narrative line for the writers to draw. No problems there. Her actions in each of these cases can be traced back to Rupert and his abuse. But I cannot for the life of me draw a line between Rupert and Sam. As a traumatic reaction, that does not make a shred of sense to me.

It's true that sometimes those who have been abused become abusers, not that I'm saying Rebecca is abusing Sam in this scenario. What I am saying is that most trauma survivors will go out of their way to avoid becoming anything like their abusers. Most survivors try their damnedest to break the cycle of abuse, not perpetuate it. Most victim-survivors will act, sometimes even to their own detriment, to spare others from being impacted by their pain and trauma. Trauma and abuse does not break your moral compass. If anything, it makes it stronger. Trauma and abuse heightens your sensitivity to what is right, just and honest. Having seen Rebecca ultimately unable to follow through in her trauma-inspired revenge plot on Ted, it does not make sense to me that she is blindly (without any of the nuanced inner conflict of s1 Rebecca) allowing her trauma and abuse to lead her into a situation that not only emulates her ex-husband's hurtful, unethical behaviour, but endangers what is now supposed to be so valuable to her.

All the press for s2 as spruiked Rebecca as a dating disaster but enthusiastically committed to her club. There is a huge difference, however, between charmingly, comedically 'messy' and inept to the point of self-destructive stupidity. I just don't buy her as this dumb. Yet here she is, after all her dealings with the savage British press last season, endangering the reputation of herself, her club and one of its most vulnerable players. Oddly enough, the Rebecca we saw in s1, with her many layers and nuances, seems to me to be a far more moral (not to mention interesting) rendering of this character. This Rebecca was motivated by injustice, she had an acute understanding of what was and wasn't right. It's why she conceived of her revenge plot and also why she ultimately dropped it. It is one thing for writers to propose that there are multiple steps on the way to healing. It is one thing for them to lead a character into a dark forest full of conflict and complication. But, from what I can tell, some people don't know the difference between a dark forest and straight-up bad writing. And it really fucking shows.

#ted lasso #rebecca welton #hannah waddingham #sam obisanya #ask #whoops another long post without a cut #sorry not sorry

[gay-jesus-probably]

You know those people that are anti-AO3 and just generally very aggressive about moral purity in fandom? I just fucking realized what they reminded me of. Anyone else remember Critics United from Fanfiction dot net back in the day? Because I remember them, and I’m still a little traumatized, and anti’s are doing like the exact same shit.

For those of you who aren’t old enough to have been on FF.net, Critics United was a group that started up in like 2010, and their whole Thing was that they were policing the site for content that violated the site rules. So they were on the lookout for smut, stories that they thought might have implied sexual content (I mean like a fade to black with an implication that sex happened off screen was enough to draw their ire), chat style fics, submit your own character fics, or just anything they decided was poorly written and didn’t like. And when one of them found those fics, they would post a link to their forum, so all of them would mass report the fic, the author, and every other fic the author had written for good measure. And then they’d also leave abusive reviews demanding the author delete the fic, or their account, or even just trying to pressure them into leaving fandom entirely.

Because I remember those fucking guys. Back when I was like twelve I tried to do a ‘submit your own characters’ fic, which is a fic where the author sets up a premise in the first chapter, and the reviewers submit a basic profile of their OC to be in the fic. Very fun for everyone; I remember loving the challenge of trying to figure out how to get all the characters to meet and work together, and enjoying the community feel of collaborating with a bunch of people to put together a whole story.

Except that was against the rules of the site, because god forbid you work with someone else’s characters when writing fanfiction. And someone from Critics United found my story when I was about four chapters in, so all of them wound up dogpiling onto my story. And just generally me. When the comments got especially abusive I tried to get them to back off by pointing out that their profiles all said they were grown ass adults/older teenagers, and they were harassing a twelve year old. They said it didn’t matter how old I was; I deserved what they were doing to me. Because I’d broken the rules with the fic that led them to me. And once I’d deleted that, I still deserved it, because the earlier works on my account were poorly written, and I needed to be harassed for literally my first attempts at writing anything. The whole nightmare only stopped when I gave up, abandoned the account entirely, and just made a new one that was completely unconnected.

I should mention that while this group was unofficial, FF.net had no problem with them, and would pretty much always delete stuff that they reported if the author didn’t get there first, because after all, they were just a helpful group policing the community!

So yeah, I’m not so fond of the purity police.

[ajaxwrites]

Genshin Impact Fanfic Rec List

(because this is my most current obsession~~)

The Narwhal of Dihua Marsh by GreyLiliy

Childe hears of a strong Adeptus living at the Wangshu Inn. Despite warnings from Zhongli that fighting Xiao would be a deathly mistake, Childe seeks out the Adeptus living in the Dihua Marsh eager for a proper fight.

However, Childe severely underestimates his opponent, and the consequences of his actions may keep him from returning home to Snezhnaya.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: This fic is interesting primarily because it's not necessarily what you would call an easy story to read. The content can surprisingly get quite heavy as the relationship between Childe and Zhongli isn't healthy and it becomes increasingly obvious as the story progresses. You swing between wanting to separate the two and also desperately wishing that they'll work out because there is something there. The story snowballs from what seems like an innocuous, if stupid and rash, decision on Childe's part to a complicated mess that you can’t help but be enthralled in. I went in expecting your typical romance and ended up in something that was more complex than I expected but also beautifully thought provoking.

Entirely Out of Spite by Bgtea

"Welcome to a new user experience! You have triggered this interface with the keywords, ‘Stupid game! Stupid devs! I want my f*****g money back!’ You are now bound to the character Tartaglia, the Eleventh Harbinger of the Fatui, codename: Childe! We hope you have an enjoyable user experience and we welcome you once again to Genshin Impact 2.0!”

Those are some of the first words Ajax, starving college student extraordinaire, has the misfortune of hearing upon waking up in a brave new world from what he's fairly sure is a very, very fatal accident involving water and a shit ton of electricity.

Okay, so he's not dead. That's good. But what's this about him being stuck playing the character Tartaglia? Tartaglia, as in the shitty, one-dimensional, cartoonish villain who met his untimely, gruesome death in the first act of the original game?

Fuck that noise. Like hell Ajax is going to share that fate.

And so begins one man's journey to unfuck himself.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Whenever this updates, I squeal. If you’re a fan of The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System or just transmigration/reincarnation plots in general, you’re going to love it. Bgtea does a beautiful job in balancing humor with the trauma that comes with the whole reincarnation plotline. The whole of it is beautiful written and watching Childe/Ajax interact with the other characters (and the perspective of those characters) is a delight! 

the sister by glassdrachma

The tragic and unexpected death of Zhongli-xiansheng of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor occurred to the sorrow of many and the deep skepticism of a few.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: glassdrachma has a gift for humor and romance. In short, Zhongli fakes his death for plot reasons and comes back as Jianlao, the bereaved twin sister. Shenanigans ensue, featuring overprotective Liyue-ians (?), chaotic gremlin Venti, and Kexing. Very light hearted, good for the soul.

The White Cicada Society by clementinesgulag

After his little brother is bundled back to Snezhnaya, Childe makes good on his promise to the traveller and takes the first boat out of Liyue Harbor. Any sense of homecoming lasts about as long as an uncooked steak in front of Xiangling, however, when his boat sinks, grounding him back in the mainland.

It's just as well, because the next morning, a body is found in the Northland Bank. A visit from a fellow Harbinger reveals a far more insidious plot than anything Childe could concoct with a god of the vortex and twenty minutes without supervision. The murders aren’t limited to the one Bank. They’ve been trailing down the Liyue border, getting closer and closer to the city. The Tsaritsa has a new mission for him: to figure out who, or what is targeting Fatui forces.

Against his best wishes, Childe is forced to see Zhongli again at the morgue. It becomes clear that he’s going to need a guide, and Childe resolves to quash his pride, and their differences to request his help to navigate Liyue and solve the case.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: A diamond in the rough that I slept on and then stumbled back to by accident. I had it marked for later on AO3 and forgot about it for like a good week to my utter self-disgust. It. Is. So. Damn. Good! The mystery is intriguing but I live for the realistic portrayal of the aftermath of the whole gnosis plotline. The betrayal, the bitterness, but ah, the sexual tension. The harbinger interactions in this fic make it gold though.

Lungs full of Roses by SecretlyACatLady

Childe had always assumed that he would die young. He had accepted that a long time ago, ever since he accepted the mantle of a Fatui Harbinger. However, he always thought that he would die in a glorious fight, his body broken but spirit relishing the strong opponent that had bested him. He was okay with that type of death.

Unfortunately, it seemed like Fate had decided to add one last insult to injury, because, here Childe was, dying because he had fallen in love with the ex-Geo Archon. The same Archon who seemed to have discarded him like an old toy ever since the Osial Incident. --- In which divine beings are cruel and a cursed Childe starts preparing for his inevitable death because no Archon could ever love a mortal.

…Right?

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: The fic that started it all for me, the one that sucked me into the fandom. This fic is heartbreaking. We always do love a hanahaki plotline but something about the way it frames the disease and the shame that comes with it...I highly recommend giving it a read. The angst is real I tell you.

The Bride of The Golden Dragon by Erika_Bee

“You’re to be sent on a special mission, Tartaglia.”

The young man’s eyes gleamed in interest. “How special?” He asked as he wiped the blood off his daggers.

His superior grinned. “Special enough to put your name in Snezhnaya’s history books.”

—

In which the Archon War ravaged the land of Liyue and to ensure the people’s survival, the God of Geo established the Harvester Contract: One bride per village, every year, in exchange for protection and a good harvest.

Or: Childe is sent on an undercover mission to kill the Geo Archon, but things don’t go as planned.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Don’t let the title scare you off--this isn’t one of those fics where they feminize one of the male characters and reduce their personality to a mindless submissive bobblehead to the point that I want to throw my laptop out of the window. Not that there’s anything wrong if you like that kind of thing, just not my cup of tea. This fic though---READ IT! There’s just something refreshing about the writing and the plot, the way that Childe’s character reads off the page. I live for the interactions between the characters and how the author has mapped the relationships. Warning that recent chapters have swerved decided into NSFW territory though.

the brothers grim by izabellwit

Left in an unfamiliar land with a mission he never wanted, a young Kaeya lies, survives, and somehow finds a family in the process.

Or: How Kaeya came to Dawn Winery, and why he left it. Includes lore, sibling bickering, found family struggles, and a more in-depth look at the years between Kaeya’s arrival and Crepus’s death.

Ships: N/A

Notes: Ahh, little Kaeya. Cheeky ass little shit that’s too angsty and adorable for his own good. I don’t have words for this fic. It makes my heart warm but also makes me want to weep because god, this fic covers exactly how traumatic Kaeya’s situation is and why child soldiers/spies just shouldn’t be. And the dynamic he has with Diluc and Crepus--do me a favor and read it. Screams found family.

the wind through the mountain tops by glassdrachma

Boredom brings Barbatos of Mondstadt to bother a certain ex-Archon of the Earth.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: A light-hearted, humorous and fluffy as hell piece. Short word is that Venti comes to Liyue for some fun, causes chaos, accidentally plays matchmaker, and steals some vegetables. A get-together fic for Childe and Zhongli that includes a surprisingly self-aware (if blunt and snarky) Zhongli and jealous Childe that gets increasingly flustered.

melt (speak or forever hold your peace) by anatakana

Falling into bed with Diluc was an unbelievably bad idea given their tumultuous shared history, but Kaeya’s impulsive urge to amuse himself knew no bounds.

It’s all fun and games until emotions got involved.

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: THIS IS NSFW. With plot though? This is THE FIC that got me shipping the two (though the game did a good job on its own). The angst is real here and we love the sheer gal of both of these two stupid men.

Cascading (In a good way) by Hubbleablubble

Kaeya is a fascinating annoyance.

(Or: A series of events in which Albedo gets to know Kaeya, and they slowly go from strangers to acquaintances to something more.)

Ships: Albedo/Kaeya

Notes: Sweet fic. Not my typical ship pairing. Loved the Khaenri’ah mentions. Kaeya is Trans FTM here though it’s only briefly mentioned. There is also an incomplete sequel (as of May 2021) featuring an Overprotective Big Brother Diluc on a warpath giving shovel talks to everyone except apparently Albedo that’s also worth reading.

The Language of Flowers by Jules (Penwyn)

Kaeya Alberich has made a habit of lying—after all, the only truths he’s ever spoken cost him everything—but there are only so many lies a man can tell before the truth comes spilling out.

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: Hanahaki! Except not! Basically, Kaeya pukes up flowers that say the truth whenever he lies. Cue, angst! Lovely and quick read--love Kaeya’s voice here.

i know i'm where i'm meant to go by paperclips (pastel_paperclips)

"Childe," Zhongli says suddenly. "I am enjoying myself greatly."

Childe’s face breaks into a grin. "Then-"

Zhongli gasps, grabbing his wrist and tugging him over to an unsuspecting peddler with a cart full of rocks. "Is that an intrusive igneous pegmatite formed in the Inazuma regions?"

Childe’s grin smooths into a small, adoring smile. He has all the time in the world to figure the other man out.

OR: Finding the Geo Archon is on Childe's to-do list but hanging out with Zhongli is significantly more fun.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Childe, you idiot. Humorous and funny, very light hearted. Makes you wonder if Childe has an IQ. He’s too busy pining/lovesick to realize that he told his target that he’s going to kill him for his gnosis. Zhongli and Liyue remain confused on how Childe still DOES NOT get it but half-ass hiding his Archon status anyway.

the bird without wings by Anonymous

"Kaeya!" someone yells. Small arms wrap around his waist tightly, red hair spilling out of the ponytail, and Kaeya's heart almost stops.

He's talked his way out of all types of situations. From placating international disputes to buttering up his informants, he's always had a quick response to everything.

But for once, Kaeya is speechless. He stares down at the boy with puffy cheeks, slightly crooked teeth and sparkling bright eyes.

Eight year old Diluc beams back.

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: Diluc gets de-aged and Kaeya gets angsty. The interactions between the two are heartwarming and will induce tears. Childe makes a brief appearence that *chef’s kiss*

call me "lover boy" by Anonymous

Zhongli turns back, eyes bright with amusement, a stray lilypad still stuck in his hair, and Childe thinks, wow. I want to kiss him stupid.

Childe's not into the whole "swooning maiden patiently waiting for his beloved to swoop down and smooch the daylights out of him" thing. Nah, that's not his style. He's Tartaglia, eleventh of the Fatui harbingers, and he's going to kiss Zhongli right now.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: FUNNY AS HELL. Childe is straight up just trying to plant one on Zhongli but fate and people just keep interfering. It’s a weird trope aversion where the character is actively trying to confess rather than avoiding it but life gets in the way. 

springtime in snezh-nya-ya by miaomaomei

Tartaglia’s body moves before he can even think about it. He arches his back and flattens his ears against his head, baring his teeth in a hiss. Considering he barely even reaches Scaramouche's knees — Scaramouche, of all people! The guy is practically the size of a fourteen-year-old — he doubts that he is cutting as imposing a figure as he hopes.

It isn't a surprise, though. No one could become a Fatui Harbinger if they were scared of a little cat.

OR

Tartaglia is turned into a cat and he goes to Zhongli for help. It goes about as well as expected.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: TOO ADORABLE FOR WORDS. This is just pure fluff I swear. Love how Childe is written and the interactions between the two are just ahhhh. A balm on the soul.

Melt by tanktrilby

“My name is Diluc,” he says. A scowl naturally furrows his brow, and Kaeya looks like he wants to laugh.

He’s looking at him through his lashes again, blue eyes teasing and warm. “Diluc,” he says. “A knight in overalls isn’t quite where I thought my preferences would lie, but here we are.”

(or: Kaeya loses his memories and makes some assumptions. Diluc can't honestly tell him that he's wrong.)

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: As the summary says, Kaeya loses his memories. Diluc plays babysitter for plot reasons. Meanwhile, Kaeya freaks out and has an essential crisis because his instincts freak him out which = angst. Simultaneously, sort of love confessions? 

you are cordially invited by ktenologious

When the Traveler receives a mysterious invitation from a Snezhnayan businessman, they seek out help from the only Snezhnayan they are on good terms with. They decide it is a wonderful idea to go to this business party in the middle of the ocean because, well, what could be better entertainment than watching a Fatui Harbinger at work? It is too bad Childe couldn't come with them...

Meanwhile, the Tsaritsa needs someone to track down the source of a brand new drug at a party on a cruise; it just so happens that she has two Harbingers who specialize in causing chaos and sinking ships. Scaramouche is a sadist and loves this, and Tartaglia... Well, Tartaglia just wants to know why is he the one in the dress again.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe, sort of Diluc/Kaeya & Scaramouche/Childe

Notes: Features a crossdressing Childe and Kaeya for plot reasons. Funny as hell. Love Fatui dynamics/interactions. Highly recommend. Go read it. I’m serious. It’s so beautiful, I can’t. Also Zhongli is so love-sick and jealous, it’s hilarious.

The Road to Snezhnaya by paranoid_fridge

Everything's done and over. Now, Zhongli only needs to adjust to living like an ordinary mortal. Or that is what he thinks until a familiar face shows up in Liyue. Teucer comes looking for his brother who failed to return to Snezhnaya on the Fatui ships. And as Childe's declared "friend", Zhongli must help Teucer find him.

Or: Teucer drags Zhongli on a cross-country goose chase looking for Childe. Zhongli just happens to find a bit more along the way.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: I have no words for this fic outside of the fact that it is clear that Teucer has the only functioning brain and should be Best Man because he obviously did all the work here. Features an oblivious Childe and overprotective Zhongli, plus bystander Kaeya that is getting allll of the gossip. And also the most destructive group of children ever.

basket of knives by oronine

“I just want to be loved,” Childe says to himself, to whoever is listening. “Is that too much to ask?”

They are on the roof once more, this time Childe’s foot touches the edge of the building as he daydreams of something that cannot be. The sky is blank and cloudy and perhaps Lumine fears it’ll all end when he takes a step.

“Not at all,” she says. It’s still the truth.

Contrary to popular belief, Childe hates his family but loves them all the same.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: TW for suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, self-harm, depression, etc. Not a light read by any definition. Set in a modern AU, not in the genshin impact universe. Features a Childe that is Not Okay, good friend but also probably traumatized friend Lumine (and her brother Aether), and Zhongli. Family dynamic is messed up as hell and explores mental health quite well in my opinion. I’m not sure how healthy necessarily Childe’s relationships are but I think that’s a given considering the context and how derailed his mental health is in this fic. Definitely angst as heavy, made me tear up quite a bit. Read, but pay attention to the content/trigger warnings as it does get quite explicit.

Bane of All Evil by tzitzimeme

When Chongyun unintentionally offends Liyue's second most powerful adepti, he vows to mend the thorny relationship between Adeptus Xiao and human exorcists-- even though no one has succeeded in currying Xiao's favor for over a thousand years.

His best friend Xingqiu offers to come alone, mainly because he's worried about what kind of trouble Chongyun will run into. Along the way, they receive help from others: Xiangling packs them meals for their journeys, while Zhongli gives them advice on what demons to track.

Childe is just there because he thinks the whole thing is hilarious.

Ships: Chongyun/Xinqiu

Notes: JFKLFJS I LOVE THIS. I love Chongyun’s characterization and the interaction between all the characters. The dynamic between Chongyun, Xingqiu, and Xiangling are to die for. Also, this line: “Stuck-up Persnickety Bastard.” Random note but Xiao throws Chongyun off a balcony yet is also 100% a softie.

Talks about Nothing by tzitzimeme

In which Zhongli unlocks the Memory of Dust, only to find out:

1. Guizhong is 100% alive (just disembodied) within it, 2. Guizhong has been watching over him this whole time, and 3. Guizhong is very excited by the prospect of Zhongli getting a cute Snezhnayan boyfriend.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe, Venti/Xiao

Notes: The pure judgment that Guizhong unleashes on Zhongli (as well as her sass in general) is pure comedic gold. The dynamic between Xiao and Venti are also adorable. Meanwhile, Childe misunderstands and also just wants to know what the fuck is going on.

xi wangmu by tzitzimeme

Xiangling scales entire mountains to satisfy the palettes of her two pickiest customers.

(Or, two men who are emotionally stunted by their own immortality inadvertantly turn an overly enthusiastic chef into their messenger pigeon.)

Ships: Zhongli/Xiao (?)

Notes: Not sure if it reads romantic exactly, can definitely be read as platonic. The fic boils down to Xiangling trying to expose Xiao to variety because just eating plain almond tofu is a no no. Zhongli gives advice/uses Xiangling as a messenger pigeon. Backstory is explored!

Falling (Fallen) by asinglecrow

It’s only when Childe finds himself in front of Zhongli, a spear protruding from his stomach, that he thinks oh I might have fucked up.

Or: The worst (best) day of Childe's life.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Funny and lighthearted! Gets sort of NSFW with passing mention of mpreg but otherwise, it’s just pure humor/fluff. Get-together fic featuring deadpan dragon Zhongli and Childe that is just done with everything. 

the louvre by morisuke

Here in Liyue, the air is filled with the ocean, and the sun shines through the mountains like it’s flowing through a crack in the sky. Here in Liyue, there is a man with no wallet at a vending machine that is going to waste the rest of his day showing a stranger around their school campus for a pocket sized can of iced coffee.

It’s interesting here in Liyue, Childe thinks.

or

Where Childe flirts with a stranger at a campus vending machine.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Set in a modern/college AU. This is a relatively quiet, soft kind of story. Childe comes to Liyue because reasons and falls in love quietly. It’s more of a snippet of life type of fic that’s sweet and peaceful. Love the change that comes over Childe as he finds a home.

#genshin impact #genshin impact fanfic rec #fanfic rec #rec list #zhongli/childe #childe/zhongli #tartali #diluc/kaeya #luckae #fanfiction #i have very obvious ships i know #not all my recs but a couple of my favorites