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howdyhowby · 2 years

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Let Me Take Care Of You (1/?)

A note from the author: Hey, y'all! This is my first attempt at a fanfic and first post on this Tumblr. Please be patient with me as I work on being a better writer. This WILL be a series so stay tuned, I don't know how long it'll go on for, but I won't abandon it. Thank you for reading, have a great day :) WARNING: Nightmares, angst, hurt/comfort, slight sexual themes (just attraction not smut), blood, injuries. This will turn into smut in later chapters, I'm warning you ahead of time. If there's anything else tell me so I can add it.

Your eyes blinked open, your body already in a sitting position as you panted. Another nightmare, another night without him. Your nightmares became regular a couple of years ago. You had been hired by the Ghostbusters, to help out Janine Melnitz. You didn't have an exact job title, just helping whenever you can. When Janine had mostly everything under control, the Ghostbusters decided to let you tag along. It started off at first as staying inside the Ecto-1 while they trapped their ghost, you took notes, and drove them back to the firehouse when they were too tired to do it themselves. Then they started letting you out of the Ecto-1. You wanted to trap ghosts and fight alongside your friends, but that wasn't the main reason you wanted to help them out. It wasn't because you dreamed of fighting ghosts as a kid, or you had to get revenge for a family member. It wasn't anything exciting, or even reasonable. It was because you had an enormous crush on Egon Spengler. His shy demeanor, glasses, and tall frame. The way he was content in just his science, brushing off Janine and other women's touch so he could get back to whatever experiment he had. It is adorable, he is adorable. While he brushed off other women, your touch seemed to always be welcome. You were definitely touchy when it came to the man you loved, and while you tried to hold back so as to not freak him out or make him uncomfortable, you couldn't stay away entirely. A touch here, a hand on his shoulder there, the drag of your fingers across his hand as you took something he was giving you. You didn't know how to be more obvious without shouting it in his face, "I'm in love with you!" The feelings only grew with how often you went with them, how many hours you spent cleaning up his wounds, and him returning the favor. And yet, no matter how much time passed, he continued to remain indifferent. And it hurt. The first few weeks of your nightmares you had hidden them, embarrassed that you couldn't be as strong as the boys. They never complained about night terrors, never seeking comfort from the wars raging in their heads. It seemed like you were alone. That is, until week 3. You had eyebags, your hair all over the place, as you stumbled into the kitchen. Your pajama pants dragged as you took down a glass from the cabinet. You took a quick swig, sighing. "Y/N?" You jumped, dropping the cup. You stared in horror at the broken shards, breathing heavily as you looked up at the new presence. 'Egon... great.' "Oh!" He took a step back, trying to avoid the glass. "Don't... don't move." He left for a couple minutes, before coming back with a broom. He began sweeping, being careful around my feet, before dumping the dustpan's contents into the trash. "Thanks.." you mumbled awkwardly, shuffling a little. He nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. "What are you doing up?" "Um.." You took a step back, trying to think of a lie. 'Ow, what the hell was that?'

You looked down, frowning as a brownish-red liquid started spreading across the tiled floor. There was a piece of glass he had missed, behind you. Now in you. He followed your gaze, eyes widening. Without a word, he picked you up bridal style and began walking out of the kitchen. "Egon!" You yelped, arms instinctively wrapping around his neck and shoulders. You felt your cheeks warming as he continued toward the staircase that led to his lab. "I-It needs to be cleaned, and.. and you shouldn't walk on it. Sorry if I'm overstepping." He stuttered, not remaining eye contact with you. "It's okay... you know you don't have to me so..." I didn't know how to finish that sentence, as he carefully placed me on the lab table. "So?" He looked at me expectantly, finally looking into your eyes. "So... restrained?" I said, more of a question than an answer. "We're friends, Egon. You're not a stranger. I don't mind you sweeping me off my feet." I let out a small laugh. He gave a half-smile, worry still evident on his face.

"I know, I just don't want to hurt you." He mumbled, nearly incoherent as I strained to hear it. He brought out the first-aid kit, getting to work on your foot. "This is gonna sting a little." He warned before pouring saline on your wound. You inhaled, blinking your eyes shut. It only took a couple minutes to clean and dress your foot, Egon insisting you stay seated. "Egon, I can walk, it was only a little piece of glass." "That wasn't little, Y/N." "Are you kidding me? It was itty bitty!" They continued to bicker for a couple minutes. You felt weak enough around him, you didn't want to look like you couldn't hand a small injury. You began to get up, not listening to his rambles on infection and pain and whatever else he was spewing out to try and convince you. Suddenly, two arms caged you in. His hands were first on the table, thinking that was enough to keep you there. You hesitated, a blush rising to your cheeks as you looked up at him. His face was not even half a foot away as he stared down into your eyes. "Stay." He whispered. Your heart rate increased, butterflies fluttering in your stomach as you glanced down toward his lips. Every fantasy comes to the forefront of your mind. You shifted your hips uncomfortably, trying to adjust yourself as arousal began flushing toward your core. Egon must've mistaken it for you trying to get off the table, yet again, and moved his hands to your hips. "Let me take care of you." He whispered again, moving one hand to your face, thumb brushing your cheek. "O-Okay..." His face slowly went into a frown, confusing you. His thumb moved from your cheek to under your eye. "Your eyebags have gotten deeper, Y/N. Please, tell me what's been going on." He asks. He noticed them last week, making a comment on how you need to get some sleep. "It's nothi-" "Don't lie." "I'm not ly-" "Let me take care of you." He said again, almost sounding like begging. I hesitated, leaning forward a little as I rested my head on his shoulder. There's no point in keeping it hidden. You've already been compromised, why try to keep up the facade of courage? "I've been... having nightmares." "...about?" About losing you "About losing y'all. Ray, Peter, Winston... you..." "Oh." His grip on your hip tightened, his other hand moving toward your hair. You felt more relaxed than you have in weeks, his presence calming you down. His scent flooded your senses, slowly lulling you. And you decided you wanted more. He was already in between your legs, so you wrapped them around him, tugging him a little closer. "Y/N-" "Shh..." You leaned back up, moving your own hands to his face.

You knew if you looked down, you would see how embarrassingly close you two were, and you loved it. "I.. I've been having nightmares about you." "Me?" He asked, surprised. "About losing you. I don't want to lose you, Eegs. I don't know what I'd do without you." "Y/N.." His face went blank. You knew what this was. He always tried to remain unreadable, unfeeling. "I know you know." It's obvious you love him. He couldn't not know. You didn't say the three words, too afraid to push him farther. You leaned your forehead against his, not going any farther. You could wait for him to say the three words. "I... I can't, Y/N." 'Oh.' It stung worse than you thought it would. You know how sometimes you can hear your heartbeat? Well, right now you could hear it cracking. Shattering, even. He didn't love you. It all meant nothing to him. You meant nothing to him. Rapidly blinking, you tried not to recoil away from him, "Oh..." "I didn't want to hurt you, I thought I was clear in how I acted." You smiled, looking more like a grimace, trying to ease his panic. On the outside: you looked tired, worn out, but understanding. On the inside: you were tired, worn out, and about to double over from heartache. Far from understanding anything. 'Clear? Only letting you in his lab, only letting you touch him, only letting you get close. That was clear? What does he mean by CLEAR?'

"I understand." You would. Eventually. But as of now, you couldn't be around him much longer before you broke down in tears. You untangled your legs from his waist, failing to notice his look of disappointment. You tried to gently push him away, but it came out more of a shove as you hopped down from the table. You bit your lip, both to keep your composure and not curse out in pain. 'He was right about the foot...' You started limping toward the doorway, surprised when he stepped in front of you. "Egon... please." "No, just listen. I.." He stopped when you made eye contact with him. "I what?" You asked, a little impatiently. "...I want to help you. You aren't alone, Y/N. Please, if the nightmares continue, promise me you'll come to me." Your brain short-circuited, to say the least. "What?" He moved a little closer again, an arms-length away now. "If... when these nightmares continue, come find me. Wake me up, join me in the lab, I don't care if you interrupt what I'm doing. Just promise me you won't suffer them alone. I.. I want to be there for you." "Egon, you don't have to feel obligated to try and fix me. It's not your fault you can't love me." Some weird emotion flashed through his eyes before disappearing. You continued, "I don't need you to take care of me." "I know you don't... but I want to."

"Why!?" You finally asked, your voice rising, confusion taking over. He remained silent, stepping even closer. He pulled you into a hug, rubbing your back. "Do you not... want my help?" He muttered, hands halting his comforting strokes. You laughed a little bitter, shaking your head as you buried your face in his chest. He smelled earthy. Like dirt, aftershave, and the overwhelming scent of him. It stung, realization sinking in. You couldn't have him. He wasn't yours. He didn't want you. "Egon..." You looked up at him. "Of course, I want your help. I just don't want you to be uncomfortable. I don't want to force myself on you." He frowned deeper, moving his hand back to my face. I moved my hand on top of his, leaning deeper into his touch, visibly welcoming him. 'You feel like home.' I thought to myself as we stared into each other's eyes. His brown, warm, puppy dog eyes. "You're not forcing yourself on me. I want to take care of you." You nodded hesitantly. If you couldn't have him romantically, you could settle for friendship. You would have to settle for friendship. You didn't think you could last without Egon Spengler in your life. "Okay. I'll let you take care of me.". And so it began. Hours every night, waking from the terror of your dreams, to scuttle downstairs and into the lab. You would usually bring hot cocoa from the kitchen, sit down on his couch, and watch him work. Or, sometimes, he'd join you on the couch. Just holding you. That only happened when you came down in tears. Sometimes the nightmares would be too much, and you'd come stumbling in, choking back sobs. He would drop everything to hold you, bringing you to the couch, pulling a blanket over the two of you. He would never ask you questions, never make you relive it. He would just hold you on his lap, comforting you with actions instead of his words. Your favorite moments were when you were beginning to drift off again, and he'd whisper to himself, thinking you were already asleep. "I'm here... I've got you."

Present Day --two years after the flashback-- So here you were, alone in your bed, heart aching for him. Tears running down your cheeks, eyes wide from fear. You had never talked of your love for him after that night, after he shot you down. But ever since he had been comforting you, it only grew. You became dependent on him. You needed him. You never told the others about your terrors, and he didn't either. He respected you. He cared for you. Even if he couldn't love you, wouldn't love you, you felt loved. The illusion was better than the harsh reality. They were called in to investigate some paranormal activity at the old Roberts' Mansion, just a couple miles outside of the city. They discovered a link to it in Florida. Some ghost who was murdered by one of the Roberts boys' back in 1808. Of course, they took a road trip. Egon and Winston, leaving Ray and Peter here to cover the local ghosts. And now you had to wait for him, agonizingly, for 2 whole weeks, because some stupid ghost couldn't keep to itself. You had just awoken from a nightmare. Your eyes blinking open, and your body already in a seating position. He said you could call him. That he wouldn't mind. That he would pick up, any time of the night and day.

You hadn't spent a night without him since... since the night you cut your foot. At times you felt you annoyed him, but he was always quick to show you you didn't. Was it weird? Yes, it was. You didn't understand why he acted the way he did. He told you he couldn't love you, couldn't bring himself to do so, and yet he treated you like... like you mattered to him. Like you were more than just a friend. You sighed, knowing you were seeing everything through rose-colored glasses. 'Why would he love me? He deserves so much more...'. I looked over at the clock. 3:48 AM. Would he be awake? Would he be angry if you called? When the clock turned 4:12, and you still couldn't fall asleep, you decided to call him. You leaned over the bedside table, dialing the number and pulling the phone up to your face. You settled back against the backboard of the bed, curling the phone cord around your finger. The phone ringed thrice before someone picked up. "Hello?" A deep, confused, and rough voice said on the other line. It made your heart flutter, and your brain calm down. He could fix everything with a single word. That beautiful, smooth, and gentle voice of his. "Hey, Egon..." You heard shuffling on the other end. "Y/N.. it's nice to hear your voice." You can hear the small smile he must be making. You sniff quietly, looking around the room. You feel the shadows crawl, the drapes blow, the eery silence. "Egon, I-I... I'm scared." You admitted wiping the tears off your cheek.

"I wish I could be there for you." He finally muttered, sounding solemn. "Don't do that. Don't feel bad. You are here for me, Eegie. Even when you don't have to be, you're always here... thank you." You don't know it, but he smiles at the nickname. "I know. I just wish I could be there in person." "Another week?" "Just a little under. 6 days and counting..." He paused for a moment. "5 days and counting. Didn't realize the time." He finished with a small chuckle. "Sorry..." You say bashfully, starting to feel better. "...I hope I didn't wake you up." "I've been awake for hours." "I know." "You know?" "Your voice gets deeper the longer you've been awake." "It... does?" You blush covering your face with your hand. You wanted to tell him the truth, the whole truth, but you couldn't bring yourself to say it. How do you tell someone ' 'Your voice gets deeper, sexier, as the hours go on. I dream of it in my sleep, I long for it while I'm awake. I long for you day in, day out.' '? You don't. Not when they don't feel the same. "...yeah." You respond awkwardly. You can hear him breathing on the other end, thinking, pondering how to respond. "Y/N, I need to tell you something." "You do?" "I... I shouldn't be doing this over the phone." "It's okay Egon, tell me." "I..." You lean forward on the bed, anxious for his response. "...I take back what I said two years ago." That was the moment you shattered completely. Take it back? His promise? He didn't want to take care of you? You were a burden to him. Anger, pain, and sorrow swirled in your veins, leaving you speechless. Not anger at him, no, never at him. Anger at yourself. You pushed him too far, were too clingy, too hopeful. "Y/N? Are you there?" His voice rang in your ears, no longer soothing. It was like pouring whiskey on a dumpster fire. Egon's POV:

I waited for a couple minutes, not sure what was happening. Why wasn't she responding? This was supposed to be a happy moment. I was confessing my love and she... wasn't glad. Was I too late? Did I wait too long to tell her how I felt? Did she move on long ago, and I've been chasing after her like an abandoned puppy? It hurt even to think about. Her, with another man. Someone else holding her, someone else getting to love her. To treat her how she deserves to be treated. To grow old with her, and father her children. I couldn't handle the silence anymore. I needed an answer. I needed to know if I could finally call her mine because I had been hers for so so long. "Y/N? Are you there?" I stuttered out, desperate for a response, any response. She waited only a few seconds this time, finally speaking. "W-Wh-" I heard the phone drop, the sound of rustling. I waited... "Y/N?" and waited... then suddenly: Screams.

word count 3,148

#egon spengler #nightmare #egon x reader #ghostbusters #smut #angst #fluff #hurt/comfort #egon being clueless #both parties being terrible at expressing themselves #both parties being terrible at understanding what the other is saying #ghosts ghosts ghosts nothin but ghosts #ghosts #haunted mansions #egon time lets gooo #hes so cute #look at his glasses omgosh #no beta we die like men

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twistedtummies2 · 1 year

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Top 15 Spooky Old Mansions

Yesterday, the teaser trailer for a new movie based on Disney’s “Haunted Mansion” attraction dropped from the heavens. Seeing the teaser got me thinking about one of my favorite classic horror tropes, which the entire film and the attraction itself are based around: the archetypal Spooky Old Mansion. What is it about this specific type of location that seems so attractive to so many people? Sure, there are other haunted or otherwise disturbing places out there, both in real-life and fiction: abandoned castles, haunted hotels, creepy hospitals, the list goes on. But something about the specific visual of an old, dark, grand-looking house - a relic of a bygone age, filled with unnerving and mysterious secrets - seems to hold particular appeal. Whether it’s the home of a serial killer or the resting place of a horde of phantoms, the imagery such places invoke is timeless and constant. I think the appeal comes from the dichotomy of the setting. On the one hand, a mansion is something many people probably wish they could live in. A big, fancy house with a grand estate sounds like a dream come true. Castles seem more like something out of a fairy-tale or for people of very specific sorts, such as royalty, and hospitals and hotels have their own unnerving vibes with different types of connotations. But a mansion is a sort of achievable dream: it’s unlikely, but it’s possible to obtain. So when one realizes this sort of place is filled with unholy wickedness or spooky shenanigans in abundance, it turns that dream into a nightmare. You could also see the ideal of the mansion as a representation of things long past: nine times out of ten, these places are residences of the present, but old homes that have long been abandoned to time. That sensation of stepping over the threshold from the safety and familiarity of the present to find bizarre madness in the past is certainly a poignant concept. Whatever the case, the Spooky Old Mansion is a concept that shows no sign of losing its appeal. So, with the announcement of the upcoming Haunted Mansion movie, I thought it would be a cool idea to talk about some of my favorite such places today! These Mansions won’t ONLY be from films, mind you: some will be from TV shows, video games…and yes, even from theme parks. The only rule is that these are all going to be FICTIONAL places; you won’t be seeing things like the Winchester Mystery House here. Also, I’m looking at places that can qualify as MANSIONS, or Manor Houses, or similar estates: just being an ordinary haunted house, or any other kind of haunted location, will not count. With that in mind, watch out for skeletons in the closets, and mind the trapdoors! These are My Top 15 Spooky Old Mansions!

15. Ghastly Manor.

Our first entry on this list is a theme park ride…but it’s NOT the one at Disneyland. “Ghastly Manor” is the name given to the creepy old domicile that stars as the centerpiece of a now-defunct series of rides collectively called “Scooby-Doo’s Haunted Mansion.” These rides were a combo of haunted dark ride attractions and light gun arcades. In each one, the guests would board the Mystery Machine, and be invited to explore the grounds and interior of a decadent old house, helping Scooby-Doo and the Gang deal with traps and spooks while they try to solve another mystery. The exact name of the ride changed from park to park, but the basic concept remained the same, as did the name of the house (although it was sometimes spelled “Ghastley” Manor, as opposed to “Ghastly;” big whoop). I actually got to ride one of these at the Six Flags in San Antonio, Texas. It was one of my two favorite rides at the park, in fact! Unfortunately, that ride - and nearly all of the other rides under this line - no longer exist; the one at Six Flags Fiesta Texas has been replaced with a pirate-themed attraction. This is the main reason this Mansion takes the bottom of the ranks: it was a wonderful ride while it lasted, but sadly, tis but a beautiful thing of the past. And unless you actually got to ride through Ghastly Manor yourself, you’ll never really get what made this ride so great; no video can do it justice.

14. The Old Dark House.

This classic 1932 film was directed by James Whale, the same mastermind behind some of Universal’s famous monster movies, such as “Frankenstein” and “The Invisible Man.” Whale was always a fan of dark comedy, and that is exactly what “The Old Dark House” is: it’s a wonderfully witty but also rather disturbing and decidedly creepy film, even to this day. The plot is pretty typical: it focuses on a young couple who, caught in a storm, seek refuge in a spooky old mansion, which is home to a family of eccentrics with many unusual and monstrous secrets. What’s interesting about the titular house - aside from the fact it’s never given any kind of real name - is the way its framed in the movie: the exterior is rarely seen, and when it is, it’s difficult to make out. The Mansion is a shadowy thing that you can’t quite see; the interior sets that create the inside of the mansion are more detailed and elaborate, as you would expect, and manage to create an atmosphere that is somehow both grandiose and claustrophobic, all at the same time. The fact you never really get to see the exterior properly is part of what makes this mansion so unsettling, in my opinion, because you always feel like - even when you’ve gone through the entire adventure - there are some secrets still left to be uncovered.

13. Luigi’s Mansion.

Not all of the Mansions on this list have to actually be SCARY places, they just have to fit in the general mold of the idea. The “Luigi’s Mansion” games feature many haunted spots, but I would argue the original manor house in the first game is the best. Given the nature of the Mario Bros. Universe, this creepy joint is mostly comical and cartoonish in nature, but that makes it no less iconic. Many would argue this is the definitive haunted house video game, at least for younger players and audiences: not only do the nefarious King Boo and his pack of little ghosts infest every other corner, but a whole cavalcade of strange spirits, ranging from the cute to the creepy, happily dwell in this receptacle of building ectoplasm. Even the design of the house’s exterior has a sort of blend of horror and humor to it, as it looks almost alive, like some bloated monster ready to gobble up Luigi, and any other unwary travelers who are around, for that matter. As whimsical as it is worrisome, it’s a fine place to scare up some fun.

12. Clock Tower Mansion.

The great thing about video games is that, by their very virtue, they are interactive. Which means that whenever you have a spooky place of any sort, in any kind of game, a big part of what will make that place great is how effective it is as a setting and location to explore. The Clock Tower Mansion from the appropriately titled point-and-click horror game “Clock Tower” is an excellent example of the values of such a concept. The plot of this game focuses on a group of orphans, who are brought to the titular mansion of the Barrows family. It isn’t too long after arriving when things immediately start to go wrong. VERY wrong. From discoveries of demonic entities in the caverns beneath the house, to a starving cannibal kept in a cage, this house is crawling with murderous monsters. The most fearsome of all, however, is the mysterious Scissor Man: a small, deformed creature with a giant pair of scissors who stalks his victims sadistically before slicing them to pieces. All the while, the namesake Clock Tower tolls the hours…perhaps ticking down the seconds to the girls’ untimely ends…

11. Belasco House.

This home is the titular location from the cult classic 1970s horror picture, “The Legend of Hell House.” The plot focuses on a group of paranormal investigators, who attempt to uncover the mysteries of the Belasco House, which is said to be “The Mount Everest of Haunted Houses.” The home is said to have belonged to a perverse serial killer, and it is believed that the mansion is possessed by the spirits of his long-dead victims. Most who enter the mansion never come out again alive. The movie does a magnificent job with framing the house, itself, as if it were its own character: both inside and out, the place just seems to have a foreboding and imposing aura to it, like some slumbering demon waiting to be awakened. It is often shown surrounded by mist, black cats prowling the grounds perennially. Once inside, the place does not get any safer. In my opinion, it’s one of the most iconic haunted mansions in cinema history, and a big part of the film’s success stems from the effectiveness of its center location.

10. The Munster Mansion.

After a few legitimately scary places, it’s nice to visit another goofily ghoulish place, don’t you think? That is the case with the iconic Munster Mansion, home of the marvelous Munsters: a family of characters who are comedic interpretations of the Universal Monsters. This charming spot lies nestled among crooked old trees on 1313 Mockingbird Lane. Decorated with wall-to-wall cobwebs and with various secret passages, the house is built on the remains of an old fort, where pirates were locked up and later executed. The Munster family lives happily here: while young Marilyn and Eddie Munster go to school, vampiress Lily tends to the “ghoul-ash” for dinner, Herman - the Frankenstein Monster - attends his job at the mortuary. Meanwhile, Grandpa Dracula putters around in his lab - a dingy old place down in the basement - cooking up all kinds of crazy concoctions. To them, it’s just everyday life, and they’re happy to relax in it...but adventures involving finding hidden treasure, looking for their pet dragon in the sewers, and being mistaken for bank robbers probably help keep things from getting too dull.

9. The Bates House.

I debated whether to include this iconic house on the list, since it’s arguable if it REALLY counts as a MANSION, in the truest sense. However, I feel that, if nothing else, the Bates House from the classic shocker “Psycho” is certainly and intentionally “mansion-esque.” A documentary I once saw, which spoke about the history of slasher films, very astutely observed that, in the classic Alfred Hitchcock thriller, you sort of see a crossroads between the modern days of horror that we are used to, and the more aged, Gothic days of yore. This is not only evident in the story and characters, but even the primary setting: at the bottom of the hill, the Bates Motel, which seems modern enough (for the time), and decently held-together enough. But at the top of the hill, you have the Victorian-age home of Norman Bates and his mysterious mother: a steadily rotting old building that looms like a specter over the rest of the world in this story. It is a strong visual metaphor for not only the type of story we get here, but even the mental state of poor Norman himself. The Bates House is filled with secrets of a most sordid sort; in fact, the mystery of the house was a big part of its selling point. Famously, Hitchcock himself presented a trailer that was literally nothing but him giving the audience a tour of the house, and teasing us about all the secrets it held, making us wonder just what happened in that place. Naturally, if you know anything about the movie, you’re already aware…but for those who don’t, I’m not telling. ;)

8. The House on Haunted Hill.

Widely considered the masterwork of oddball director William Castle - who specialized in darkly humorous fright films that relished in their own campy, cartoonish, or simply bizarre elements - “House on Haunted Hill” is frankly one of the most iconic haunted house films ever made. The House, itself, is unusual when compared to other such locations. Rather than being a manor in the style of Gothic Victoriana, the House on Haunted Hill - having the outdoor facade of the Ennis House in California - has a design that almost resembles an ancient temple. The inside, however, is all the cobweb-infested, old-timey chills you could want. The House has no name anymore; everyone simply calls it “The House on Haunted Hill.” It is possessed by the spirits of at least seven different people, all of whom were murdered in a variety of ways within its walls. The House is a living death trap: the ghosts are supposedly malevolent and murderous, and many of the things that killed the previous victims are actually still contained within the mansion’s walls. Frankly, however, let’s face it, the REAL reason this house gets into the top ten isn’t even the house’s own doing: it’s the fact that VINCENT FREAKING PRICE chooses to hold a party there, kickstarting the events of the story. Frankly, if a haunted house that was graced with the presence of the Almighty Vincent isn’t reason enough for this gem to make it onto the list, I don’t know what else will be!

7. Allerdale Hall.

This Gothic dominion is the centerpiece of Guillermo Del Toro’s “Crimson Peak.” The movie is a visual treat, as you would expect, and honestly that’s the primary reason this particular mansion gets on the list. Just from the aesthetics ALONE, I feel seriously bad for not placing it higher. It may sound weird, but if I had to give an award for “Most Beautiful Haunted Mansion” - which, by its very definition, is probably quite the oxymoron - it would be Allerdale Hall. There’s a surreal, almost dreamlike atmosphere to the place, both inside and out: this lonely manor house in the middle of nowhere, with old broken up machines surrounding it in lieu of dead trees, a track of red clay leading up to its doors like a parody of a red carpet. On the inside, at first glance, the place is simply breathtaking; you seriously WANT to live in this Wonderland of a house, it’s just so gorgeous. And the same goes for the central character of Edith Cushing (ha ha, I get the reference), who marries the wealthy master of the mansion, Loki - I mean, Sir Thomas Sharpe. Naturally, however, a spooky old mansion isn’t a spooky old mansion without some...well...spooks. During Edith’s stay, living corpses begin to wander the halls, delivering grim warnings, and she soon finds herself growing ill and weak; she’s not sure if she’s going mad, or if something is trying to destroy her, or both. Fittingly, the more Edith explores the mansion and the more the story develops, the more the manor itself seems to show its fangs, as we find dilapidated sectors of the old house in need of dire repair, and the gloom begins to overrun the beauty, transforming this charming dream into a tormenting nightmare.

6. Hill House.

Alongside “House on Haunted Hill,” the original 1960s version of “The Haunting” is, in my opinion, a contender for the greatest haunted house movie ever made. (Kind of funny, considering the similarities between the names of the destinations and their film titles.) The original Hill House, and “The Haunting” in general, is interesting because it’s not as overt as some other haunted house films. In many movies of this nature, the house is either proven to be the home of evil spirits, or it’s proven that all the hauntings are some great hoax. This one actually goes for a strange middle ground: we’re never sure if all the strange and frightening things that happen in the film are born of supernatural phenomena, or if it’s all in the mind of our main character. (There was a bit of that ambiguity in “House on Haunted Hill,” too, to be fair, but this one plays with that element a lot more.) As our protagonist, Eleanor, explores the old house during the course of the film, she finds she seems bound to it in some way, seeking a sense of belonging she’s never really had in her life. Is the house taking control of her, or is this just her own mental trauma talking? Sure, a lot of spooky and seemingly unexplainable things happen, but there’s always a more rational explanation thrown in to combat it, and we never - NEVER - get full disclosure as to what is real and what is not. Even when other people bear witness to the bizarre events, there’s usually some logical reasoning that can be used to try and argue that it’s not at all the result of ghostly happenings. This, combined with the brooding, Gothic atmosphere so many great terrible old mansions have, makes it one of the most...well...HAUNTING places you could ever be caught dead in.

5. The Boddy Estate.

This place may not be a HAUNTED Mansion, but it definitely fits the descriptors of “Spooky” and “Old.” The Boddy Estate (which has gone under several names over the decades) is the centerpiece of the famous board game, “Clue.” (Or “Cluedo, “ if you prefer.) The game focuses on the players trying to solve a good ol’ fashioned “Whodunnit?” Murder Mystery while exploring the decadent Gothic abode of the victim, the late Mr. Boddy. The board game’s popularity and iconic status has, naturally, led to numerous adaptations in other media. By extension, the Boddy Estate, itself, has been reinterpreted countless times in books, stage shows, video games, and more. Probably my favorite interpretation is the 1980s movie, starring Tim Curry, Christopher Lloyd, and many other fine actors. (That’s the version of the mansion pictured here.) Different takes on the game illustrate the Boddy Estate in different ways, some being more cartoonish while others are more deliberately spooky. Some play with the manor house as a beautiful face tarnished by evil deeds, while others show it as a ghoulish locale where death traps wait around every corner. Regardless, the game’s classic status has ensured this mansion deserves recognition in the Top 5.

4. Spencer Mansion.

It’s frankly no wonder “Resident Evil” became such a big hit. The original game was a grand mix of tropes both new and old. The action all takes place in and around the decrepit Spencer Mansion, a lonely Victorian manor in the middle of nowhere, filled with zombies and monsters, with shadowy tunnels twining under its foundations. After much exploration, things start to take a turn for the more modern and unique: the mansion is also the cover-up for a secret laboratory, the experiments inside of which led to the creation of said zombies and monsters. And while some of these ghouls and creeps are classical in nature, others are more interesting, either taking old ideas and warping them in a new way, or going in a direction you just haven’t seen before, at least not till this game. Then, of course, there are the characters who have to endure exploring this decadent dominion: not a band of goofy teenagers, nor a group of normal people called together by a creepy butler, nor even some naive landlord seeking to dwell on his family’s old estate. No, no: the ones locked in the Spencer Mansion for a night are hardened soldiers, sent out to destroy the threats and investigate the strange goings on. It’s this constant meshing of Gothic tropes with modern innovations that has made the series, as a whole, relevant and interesting. Virtually every major location in the games since has either been trying to emulate the Spencer Mansion in some way, or even literally IS the Spencer Mansion all over again. I feel sort of bad for not placing the Spencer Mansion in the top three, for all these reasons and more, even disregarding the fact that I have never actually played any of the Resident Evil series...but hopefully those above it on the list won’t disappoint.

3. The Addams Residence.

I mean...what can I say? It’s the Addams’ Residence! Of all the spooky mansions that have ever spookily spooked people, the Addams Family house has been one of the most timeless. Through various incarnations - from the original comic cartoons, to TV shows, movies, and even the stage musical - the mansion has always been there. Just like the home of the Munsers, it’s not really a SCARY place...at least, not to its residents, nor even to the audience. The Addamses make living in a decrepit old manor look like the high life you’ll never know; their house may be creepy, kooky, mysterious, spooky, and altogether “ooky”...but it’s also just plain COOL! Filled with oddities that range from the unsettling to simply downright weird (matching the family itself perfectly), it’s a place that looks unsafe and terrible, but the warmth of the Addamses really makes the place come alive. You wish this house could be yours, no matter how many leaks the roof may have, or how many ghosts may occasionally come out of the family crypt for tea. That is more than enough of a reason to place it in the top three for me.

2. The House of Usher.

While Gothic stories set in spooky old mansions certainly existed before Edgar Allan Poe came on the scene, one could argue the style of the Gothic horror story, and the setting of decadence that is so essential to the craft, was certainly perfected by the famous author. And of all the settings in Poe’s stories, possibly the most powerful (aside from the castle in “Masque of the Red Death”) is the titular mansion from “Fall of the House of Usher.” The tale has been adapted on numerous occasions; my personal favorite interpretation - of both the story and the House - is the 1960 film simply called “House of Usher,” starring Vincent Price. (That’s twice now he’s popped up on this list, go figure.) In every version, the malevolent power of the titular house is the same: the decaying manor stands on an island in the center of a lonely, dark lake, a deep crack running right through the center of the building. The mansion seems to have an evil hold over all who dwell within it, driving its tenants to madness and murder; the Usher family, itself, is a tortured one, and the House seems to reflect the decadence of its lineage. Stories like “The Haunting,” “Legend of Hell House,” and “Crimson Peak” all owe a debt to Poe’s House of Usher: just like those, the House is described as a separate character, a living thing in itself, and it is hard to tell how much of what transpires is the result of tragic and horrible happenstance…or the real evil that permeates the building’s walls. The 1960 version of the house was so impactful - both inside and out - that parts of the set were actually used many times in future films of a similar nature. Regardless of whether you look at the book or the 1960 picture, or any other adaptation of the story, this was arguably the Spooky Old Mansion that started it all, and it’s still one of the most iconic and monstrous of all time.

1. ALL of Disney’s Haunted Mansions.

It’s only fitting that, with the upcoming film being what spawned this, the Disney Haunted Mansion takes the top of the list. That, however, is far from the only reason. When one thinks of the phrase “Spooky Old Mansion” or “Haunted Mansion,” I think it’s fair to say Disney’s Haunted Mansion comes to mind before any others. The original ride at Disneyland has a wonderful blend of real creepiness and a sort of playful spookiness, which is part of what has allowed it to remain such a popular attraction. But the things don’t stop simply with the original: every Disney Park has its own interpretation of the Haunted Mansion. The almost Cathedral-like manors at both Walt Disney World and Tokyo Disneyland are probably the most well-known after Disneyland’s original, but there’s also Phantom Manor at Disneyland Paris, and Mystic Manor at Hong Kong Disneyland. Each of these latter rides brings its own unique flair to the attraction; the former deliberately goes for a more gruesome, horrifyingly realistic, genuinely horrifying ride, while the latter goes the exact opposite direction, with a story not focused on ghosts and goblins, but simply strange magic running amok: still a bit spooky, but much more lighthearted in its tone. It still doesn’t end there! At a couple of the parks, there is a special Holiday-themed overlay, lasting between October and December, where the characters from "The Nightmare Before Christmas" take over the park for a new ride called "Haunted Mansion Holiday!" And it STILL doesn't end there! There are video game versions of the Mansion all over the place, my personal favorites being the Lonesome Manor in Epic Mickey, and the Ramshackle Dorm in Twisted Wonderland. Both of these blend elements of the Disney Parks rides with the Mickey Mouse cartoon “Lonesome Ghosts,” and its own haunted manor house. And, of course, there are not one, not two, but soon to be THREE DIFFERENT MOVIE VERSIONS of this single Haunted Mansion! There’s the one from the Eddie Murphy film in 2003, the one from the Muppets Halloween Special in 2021…and later this year, we’ll be seeing another Haunted Mansion hit the big screen, with all 999 Happy Haunts ready to strut their stuff. No matter which way you slice it, Disney’s Haunted Mansion has cemented its legacy, and easily earns top ranks as My Favorite Spooky Old Mansion. I await the new film most eagerly. HONORABLE MENTIONS INCLUDE…

Musgrave Manor, from Sherlock Holmes Faces Death.

Eel Marsh House, from The Lady in Black (2012).

Gabriel Chase, from Doctor Who: Ghost Light.

Collinwood Manor, from Dark Shadows.