#both parties being terrible at expressing themselves

[howdyhowby]

Let Me Take Care Of You (1/?)

A note from the author: Hey, y'all! This is my first attempt at a fanfic and first post on this Tumblr. Please be patient with me as I work on being a better writer. This WILL be a series so stay tuned, I don't know how long it'll go on for, but I won't abandon it. Thank you for reading, have a great day :) WARNING: Nightmares, angst, hurt/comfort, slight sexual themes (just attraction not smut), blood, injuries. This will turn into smut in later chapters, I'm warning you ahead of time. If there's anything else tell me so I can add it.

Your eyes blinked open, your body already in a sitting position as you panted. Another nightmare, another night without him. Your nightmares became regular a couple of years ago. You had been hired by the Ghostbusters, to help out Janine Melnitz. You didn't have an exact job title, just helping whenever you can. When Janine had mostly everything under control, the Ghostbusters decided to let you tag along. It started off at first as staying inside the Ecto-1 while they trapped their ghost, you took notes, and drove them back to the firehouse when they were too tired to do it themselves. Then they started letting you out of the Ecto-1. You wanted to trap ghosts and fight alongside your friends, but that wasn't the main reason you wanted to help them out. It wasn't because you dreamed of fighting ghosts as a kid, or you had to get revenge for a family member. It wasn't anything exciting, or even reasonable. It was because you had an enormous crush on Egon Spengler. His shy demeanor, glasses, and tall frame. The way he was content in just his science, brushing off Janine and other women's touch so he could get back to whatever experiment he had. It is adorable, he is adorable. While he brushed off other women, your touch seemed to always be welcome. You were definitely touchy when it came to the man you loved, and while you tried to hold back so as to not freak him out or make him uncomfortable, you couldn't stay away entirely. A touch here, a hand on his shoulder there, the drag of your fingers across his hand as you took something he was giving you. You didn't know how to be more obvious without shouting it in his face, "I'm in love with you!" The feelings only grew with how often you went with them, how many hours you spent cleaning up his wounds, and him returning the favor. And yet, no matter how much time passed, he continued to remain indifferent. And it hurt. The first few weeks of your nightmares you had hidden them, embarrassed that you couldn't be as strong as the boys. They never complained about night terrors, never seeking comfort from the wars raging in their heads. It seemed like you were alone. That is, until week 3. You had eyebags, your hair all over the place, as you stumbled into the kitchen. Your pajama pants dragged as you took down a glass from the cabinet. You took a quick swig, sighing. "Y/N?" You jumped, dropping the cup. You stared in horror at the broken shards, breathing heavily as you looked up at the new presence. 'Egon... great.' "Oh!" He took a step back, trying to avoid the glass. "Don't... don't move." He left for a couple minutes, before coming back with a broom. He began sweeping, being careful around my feet, before dumping the dustpan's contents into the trash. "Thanks.." you mumbled awkwardly, shuffling a little. He nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. "What are you doing up?" "Um.." You took a step back, trying to think of a lie. 'Ow, what the hell was that?'

You looked down, frowning as a brownish-red liquid started spreading across the tiled floor. There was a piece of glass he had missed, behind you. Now in you. He followed your gaze, eyes widening. Without a word, he picked you up bridal style and began walking out of the kitchen. "Egon!" You yelped, arms instinctively wrapping around his neck and shoulders. You felt your cheeks warming as he continued toward the staircase that led to his lab. "I-It needs to be cleaned, and.. and you shouldn't walk on it. Sorry if I'm overstepping." He stuttered, not remaining eye contact with you. "It's okay... you know you don't have to me so..." I didn't know how to finish that sentence, as he carefully placed me on the lab table. "So?" He looked at me expectantly, finally looking into your eyes. "So... restrained?" I said, more of a question than an answer. "We're friends, Egon. You're not a stranger. I don't mind you sweeping me off my feet." I let out a small laugh. He gave a half-smile, worry still evident on his face.

"I know, I just don't want to hurt you." He mumbled, nearly incoherent as I strained to hear it. He brought out the first-aid kit, getting to work on your foot. "This is gonna sting a little." He warned before pouring saline on your wound. You inhaled, blinking your eyes shut. It only took a couple minutes to clean and dress your foot, Egon insisting you stay seated. "Egon, I can walk, it was only a little piece of glass." "That wasn't little, Y/N." "Are you kidding me? It was itty bitty!" They continued to bicker for a couple minutes. You felt weak enough around him, you didn't want to look like you couldn't hand a small injury. You began to get up, not listening to his rambles on infection and pain and whatever else he was spewing out to try and convince you. Suddenly, two arms caged you in. His hands were first on the table, thinking that was enough to keep you there. You hesitated, a blush rising to your cheeks as you looked up at him. His face was not even half a foot away as he stared down into your eyes. "Stay." He whispered. Your heart rate increased, butterflies fluttering in your stomach as you glanced down toward his lips. Every fantasy comes to the forefront of your mind. You shifted your hips uncomfortably, trying to adjust yourself as arousal began flushing toward your core. Egon must've mistaken it for you trying to get off the table, yet again, and moved his hands to your hips. "Let me take care of you." He whispered again, moving one hand to your face, thumb brushing your cheek. "O-Okay..." His face slowly went into a frown, confusing you. His thumb moved from your cheek to under your eye. "Your eyebags have gotten deeper, Y/N. Please, tell me what's been going on." He asks. He noticed them last week, making a comment on how you need to get some sleep. "It's nothi-" "Don't lie." "I'm not ly-" "Let me take care of you." He said again, almost sounding like begging. I hesitated, leaning forward a little as I rested my head on his shoulder. There's no point in keeping it hidden. You've already been compromised, why try to keep up the facade of courage? "I've been... having nightmares." "...about?" About losing you "About losing y'all. Ray, Peter, Winston... you..." "Oh." His grip on your hip tightened, his other hand moving toward your hair. You felt more relaxed than you have in weeks, his presence calming you down. His scent flooded your senses, slowly lulling you. And you decided you wanted more. He was already in between your legs, so you wrapped them around him, tugging him a little closer. "Y/N-" "Shh..." You leaned back up, moving your own hands to his face.

You knew if you looked down, you would see how embarrassingly close you two were, and you loved it. "I.. I've been having nightmares about you." "Me?" He asked, surprised. "About losing you. I don't want to lose you, Eegs. I don't know what I'd do without you." "Y/N.." His face went blank. You knew what this was. He always tried to remain unreadable, unfeeling. "I know you know." It's obvious you love him. He couldn't not know. You didn't say the three words, too afraid to push him farther. You leaned your forehead against his, not going any farther. You could wait for him to say the three words. "I... I can't, Y/N." 'Oh.' It stung worse than you thought it would. You know how sometimes you can hear your heartbeat? Well, right now you could hear it cracking. Shattering, even. He didn't love you. It all meant nothing to him. You meant nothing to him. Rapidly blinking, you tried not to recoil away from him, "Oh..." "I didn't want to hurt you, I thought I was clear in how I acted." You smiled, looking more like a grimace, trying to ease his panic. On the outside: you looked tired, worn out, but understanding. On the inside: you were tired, worn out, and about to double over from heartache. Far from understanding anything. 'Clear? Only letting you in his lab, only letting you touch him, only letting you get close. That was clear? What does he mean by CLEAR?'

"I understand." You would. Eventually. But as of now, you couldn't be around him much longer before you broke down in tears. You untangled your legs from his waist, failing to notice his look of disappointment. You tried to gently push him away, but it came out more of a shove as you hopped down from the table. You bit your lip, both to keep your composure and not curse out in pain. 'He was right about the foot...' You started limping toward the doorway, surprised when he stepped in front of you. "Egon... please." "No, just listen. I.." He stopped when you made eye contact with him. "I what?" You asked, a little impatiently. "...I want to help you. You aren't alone, Y/N. Please, if the nightmares continue, promise me you'll come to me." Your brain short-circuited, to say the least. "What?" He moved a little closer again, an arms-length away now. "If... when these nightmares continue, come find me. Wake me up, join me in the lab, I don't care if you interrupt what I'm doing. Just promise me you won't suffer them alone. I.. I want to be there for you." "Egon, you don't have to feel obligated to try and fix me. It's not your fault you can't love me." Some weird emotion flashed through his eyes before disappearing. You continued, "I don't need you to take care of me." "I know you don't... but I want to."

"Why!?" You finally asked, your voice rising, confusion taking over. He remained silent, stepping even closer. He pulled you into a hug, rubbing your back. "Do you not... want my help?" He muttered, hands halting his comforting strokes. You laughed a little bitter, shaking your head as you buried your face in his chest. He smelled earthy. Like dirt, aftershave, and the overwhelming scent of him. It stung, realization sinking in. You couldn't have him. He wasn't yours. He didn't want you. "Egon..." You looked up at him. "Of course, I want your help. I just don't want you to be uncomfortable. I don't want to force myself on you." He frowned deeper, moving his hand back to my face. I moved my hand on top of his, leaning deeper into his touch, visibly welcoming him. 'You feel like home.' I thought to myself as we stared into each other's eyes. His brown, warm, puppy dog eyes. "You're not forcing yourself on me. I want to take care of you." You nodded hesitantly. If you couldn't have him romantically, you could settle for friendship. You would have to settle for friendship. You didn't think you could last without Egon Spengler in your life. "Okay. I'll let you take care of me.". And so it began. Hours every night, waking from the terror of your dreams, to scuttle downstairs and into the lab. You would usually bring hot cocoa from the kitchen, sit down on his couch, and watch him work. Or, sometimes, he'd join you on the couch. Just holding you. That only happened when you came down in tears. Sometimes the nightmares would be too much, and you'd come stumbling in, choking back sobs. He would drop everything to hold you, bringing you to the couch, pulling a blanket over the two of you. He would never ask you questions, never make you relive it. He would just hold you on his lap, comforting you with actions instead of his words. Your favorite moments were when you were beginning to drift off again, and he'd whisper to himself, thinking you were already asleep. "I'm here... I've got you."

Present Day --two years after the flashback-- So here you were, alone in your bed, heart aching for him. Tears running down your cheeks, eyes wide from fear. You had never talked of your love for him after that night, after he shot you down. But ever since he had been comforting you, it only grew. You became dependent on him. You needed him. You never told the others about your terrors, and he didn't either. He respected you. He cared for you. Even if he couldn't love you, wouldn't love you, you felt loved. The illusion was better than the harsh reality. They were called in to investigate some paranormal activity at the old Roberts' Mansion, just a couple miles outside of the city. They discovered a link to it in Florida. Some ghost who was murdered by one of the Roberts boys' back in 1808. Of course, they took a road trip. Egon and Winston, leaving Ray and Peter here to cover the local ghosts. And now you had to wait for him, agonizingly, for 2 whole weeks, because some stupid ghost couldn't keep to itself. You had just awoken from a nightmare. Your eyes blinking open, and your body already in a seating position. He said you could call him. That he wouldn't mind. That he would pick up, any time of the night and day.

You hadn't spent a night without him since... since the night you cut your foot. At times you felt you annoyed him, but he was always quick to show you you didn't. Was it weird? Yes, it was. You didn't understand why he acted the way he did. He told you he couldn't love you, couldn't bring himself to do so, and yet he treated you like... like you mattered to him. Like you were more than just a friend. You sighed, knowing you were seeing everything through rose-colored glasses. 'Why would he love me? He deserves so much more...'. I looked over at the clock. 3:48 AM. Would he be awake? Would he be angry if you called? When the clock turned 4:12, and you still couldn't fall asleep, you decided to call him. You leaned over the bedside table, dialing the number and pulling the phone up to your face. You settled back against the backboard of the bed, curling the phone cord around your finger. The phone ringed thrice before someone picked up. "Hello?" A deep, confused, and rough voice said on the other line. It made your heart flutter, and your brain calm down. He could fix everything with a single word. That beautiful, smooth, and gentle voice of his. "Hey, Egon..." You heard shuffling on the other end. "Y/N.. it's nice to hear your voice." You can hear the small smile he must be making. You sniff quietly, looking around the room. You feel the shadows crawl, the drapes blow, the eery silence. "Egon, I-I... I'm scared." You admitted wiping the tears off your cheek.

"I wish I could be there for you." He finally muttered, sounding solemn. "Don't do that. Don't feel bad. You are here for me, Eegie. Even when you don't have to be, you're always here... thank you." You don't know it, but he smiles at the nickname. "I know. I just wish I could be there in person." "Another week?" "Just a little under. 6 days and counting..." He paused for a moment. "5 days and counting. Didn't realize the time." He finished with a small chuckle. "Sorry..." You say bashfully, starting to feel better. "...I hope I didn't wake you up." "I've been awake for hours." "I know." "You know?" "Your voice gets deeper the longer you've been awake." "It... does?" You blush covering your face with your hand. You wanted to tell him the truth, the whole truth, but you couldn't bring yourself to say it. How do you tell someone ' 'Your voice gets deeper, sexier, as the hours go on. I dream of it in my sleep, I long for it while I'm awake. I long for you day in, day out.' '? You don't. Not when they don't feel the same. "...yeah." You respond awkwardly. You can hear him breathing on the other end, thinking, pondering how to respond. "Y/N, I need to tell you something." "You do?" "I... I shouldn't be doing this over the phone." "It's okay Egon, tell me." "I..." You lean forward on the bed, anxious for his response. "...I take back what I said two years ago." That was the moment you shattered completely. Take it back? His promise? He didn't want to take care of you? You were a burden to him. Anger, pain, and sorrow swirled in your veins, leaving you speechless. Not anger at him, no, never at him. Anger at yourself. You pushed him too far, were too clingy, too hopeful. "Y/N? Are you there?" His voice rang in your ears, no longer soothing. It was like pouring whiskey on a dumpster fire. Egon's POV:

I waited for a couple minutes, not sure what was happening. Why wasn't she responding? This was supposed to be a happy moment. I was confessing my love and she... wasn't glad. Was I too late? Did I wait too long to tell her how I felt? Did she move on long ago, and I've been chasing after her like an abandoned puppy? It hurt even to think about. Her, with another man. Someone else holding her, someone else getting to love her. To treat her how she deserves to be treated. To grow old with her, and father her children. I couldn't handle the silence anymore. I needed an answer. I needed to know if I could finally call her mine because I had been hers for so so long. "Y/N? Are you there?" I stuttered out, desperate for a response, any response. She waited only a few seconds this time, finally speaking. "W-Wh-" I heard the phone drop, the sound of rustling. I waited... "Y/N?" and waited... then suddenly: Screams.

word count 3,148

#egon spengler #nightmare #egon x reader #ghostbusters #smut #angst #fluff #hurt/comfort #egon being clueless #both parties being terrible at expressing themselves #both parties being terrible at understanding what the other is saying #ghosts ghosts ghosts nothin but ghosts #ghosts #haunted mansions #egon time lets gooo #hes so cute #look at his glasses omgosh #no beta we die like men

[cuculine-nelipot]

One way in which OFMD exceeded expectations this season is the emphasis they placed on the need for personal growth, especially in the pursuit of relationships - all relationships, not just romantic . Buttons laid it all out for Ed, and then turned into a bird just to prove that it is possible if you believe enough. They repeatedly drew attention to Ed's and Stede's flaws, and why they need to work on them in order to become better people not only for each other, but for everyone around them

Lucius told Stede that he was selfish and self-centred, that despite his self-proclaimed love, respect, and kindness, his actions made him anything but. He and the other crew members told him that he was wilfully ignoring reality so that he could believe in the fantasy of Ed/Blackbeard that he had constructed for himself. These are all things that prevent him from being both the captain and the romantic partner he wants to be. The main thing he needs to do to change is listen actively. This has been true since season 1, when we saw him refusing to engage in an honest dialogue with Mary, and several times when he ignored his crew. However, throughout season 2 he is given ample opportunities to listen, to grow as a person, to become a better leader and partner, but he doesn't. At all. He tells Lucius that he can talk to him about his bad experiences, only to quickly tell him that it's too much, talk to Pete instead. He lets the crew vote as to whether Ed should be allowed to stay, only to invite him back shortly after they decide against. After much arguing, he begrudgingly accepts that the crew believes his red suit is cursed, but he does not get rid of the shirt. He agrees when Ed tells him that he needs their relationship to progress slowly, only to initiate sex with him soon after. When Ed expresses his anger about that, he does not understand, and he does not take responsibility. He murders Ned Low even though he knows how desperate Ed is to leave violence behind. In the final episode when everyone tells him that his plan is terrible, he does not listen and insists that they do it anyway, and Izzy dies because of it. He does not take responsibility for that either. In fact, throughout the season he happily comments on the fact that despite his staggering incompetence, things always seem to work out for him specifically, not acknowledging that the same is not true for anyone else. He has remained just as self-centred and self-serving as he was in the very beginning.

Ed too experiences a similar state of arrested development. His core motivation is still to be a different person, and like in the first season he swings from one persona to the next, never reconciling the disparate parts of himself. The closet he gets to reckoning with himself is when he admits that he does not think he is worthy or capable of being loved, but that he wishes he was. However after being "reborn" every attempt he makes to that end is at best superficial and half-hearted. When he addresses the crew he does not say he's sorry, and the only thing he does that could be framed as an attempt at reparations is when he gives them money to throw themselves a party. At that same party he (at Stede's encouragement) congratulates himself for dispelling the poison, disregarding the fact that it was the crew's idea, and the crew who put all the effort into it.

Like in season 1, each of his personas comes with a costume change. There's the kohl smeared face of the Kraken, the cleaner crisper Blackbeard, and the neutrals of Ed - a blank canvas. He does not know who Ed is yet, and he is prevented from finding out by his unwillingness to accept that he is the Kraken and Blackbeard, to sit alone with himself. Fang points this out to him, but instead of anything meaningful coming from it, we get two separate scenes of Ed thinking about being quiet, about being present. Just for a laugh. Because, like with Stede, it's funnier (apparently) for him to stay exactly the way he is.

So he does not grow, because despite the writers putting him in positions to do so, their idea of comedy is for him not to. His brief stint as a fisherman is shockingly reminiscent of the end of season 1, where he's so focused on being zen and chill and being a totally new person that he neglects the basic functions of his job. Unlike then, he does not have the excuse of being burnt out. There is no commentary on toxic masculinity here. It was just 'funnier' to show him being incompetent, and apparently the only way the writers could think to get him back to the main narrative. By which, of course, I mean Stede. Because despite it's ensemble cast and the seamlessly integrated character-driven storylines on season 1, this is the Stede Bonnet show, right?

In spite of his very real, and understandable frustration with Stede a) initiating sex despite his explicitly saying he wasn't ready and b) killing Ned Low right when he was trying to leave violence behind, he makes a beeline for him. He rows back to the Republic of Pirates, sees it on fire, and immediately thinks of Stede. Not the crew (because despite Izzy's quite frankly insane last words he has not done anything to build a relationship with them) and not either of the two men he's sailed with for years. Only Stede. For Stede all of his development (as little as it was) is undone. He kills some naval officers despite his previously established desire to avoid violence. he dives to retrieve his Blackbeard outfit, simultaneously completely undermining the significance of him tossing them in the first place, and of his swimming upward towards a new life.

In season 1 he left Blackbeard for Stede and in season 2 he reclaims him for the same reason. But that's not growth. That's not character development. In both instances he is simply being reinvented in the context someone else. He pursues Stede simply because Stede enables him to imagine that he is a different person, he becomes the version of himself that exists in Stede's mind. If this were real life, it would be an extremely unhealthy way to live. In terms of fictional media, it's just lazy writing. Putting him next to Stede is the easiest, least meaningful way for Ed to change. Despite insights into his interiority, he is not being written as a character with agency.

This becomes especially obvious when we look at Izzy's dying words, and at David Jenkins own thoughts about their relationship. Jenkins says that Izzy fed Edward poison and ended up eating it too. Izzy says that he fed Edward darkness because he needed Blackbeard. There is exactly one instance where this is true. That one instance does not in anyway serve as evidence that Izzy was responsible for every violent thing Ed had ever done. Izzy was not responsible for Ed killing his dad, Izzy was not responsible for the joy Ed admitted he took in maiming people, and it certainly does not in anyway justify the violence Ed enacted on him. That one instance also does not change the fact that Ed very clearly had all the power in his and Izzy's relationship. He ignores Izzy continuously. His reaction to Izzy's anger is violence - he chokes him, he maims him. Izzy has no power. Ed chose violence - for a myriad of complex reasons, yes, but it was his choice. But the writers are framing it so that Ed is simply a puppet - he can either be filled with "Izzy's" poison, or Stede's "goodness." He has no agency, because it's too hard. It's too complicated. It would be too much for Ed to be a complex, morally flawed character who grows and changes for the better, and it would be so hard to write him having his happy rom-com story. So it's better to just simplify all that complexity, right? Forget the trauma Ed endured, forget the trauma he inflicted, forget his depression and his mania. Izzy fed him poison. Izzy made him Blackbeard. Let's just leave it at that. Except that's not the story they wrote, is it. If Izzy made him Blackbeard, fed Blackbeard, wanted Blackbeard, needed Blackbeard, then why does he almost never call him Blackbeard? Consistently, since episode 2, it's a constant stream of "Edward", "Ed" and "Eddie" and we're supposed to believe it was Blackbeard he was after? Speaking of Izzy, his arc is the cruelest of all. And no, I'm not salty that he died. I am beyond disappointed that he died in the arms of his abuser, that his last act was to not only absolve his abuser of all responsibility, but to take it on as his own, and that David Jenkins seems to think that this is a good end to his story.

At this juncture it's important to say that Izzy Hands is very clearly a victim of abuse - physical and emotional. It has however become abundantly clear David Jenkins and many fans of the show do not see it that way. Why? Is it because he's a man? Because he does not act like some preconceived notion of an abuse victim acts? Because it's possible that he "brought him on himself"? Is it really possible for anyone to bring that level of violence on themselves? He experiences the most growth of this season, yes, but as we've established the bar is very low, and he was not given the chance to flourish like it first seems. He does not remove himself from the abusive situation. He is confronted about it, he lashes out in panic, and he is consoled, but he still cannot admit to it. That one moment of care allows him to distance himself from Edward - just a little bit. It allows him to stop enabling Ed, and to stand up for the crew. Not himself, the crew. He is just as selfless and as blind to his own needs as ever.

When Edward shoots him in the leg he screams for death. When Edward confronts him again, he surrenders to the fact that he is not loved, or wanted, and he tries to kill himself. He does not survive for himself, or of his own volition. He survives because the crew makes him survive - they try to hide him, they cut off his festering leg, they make him a wooden one, they allow him to lean on them (physically and implicitly emotionally) for support. He begins to heal, but he does not fully get there. He still loves Edward. We see it in his desperation to know what Ed told Stede about him. We see it in the way he approaches Ed, hoping for a moment of his time. He never reckons with the fact of his own abuse. He tells himself a shark took his leg. His dying act is to apologise to his abuser, to blame himself. He lets Edward go not for his own sake, but Edwards'. He lets go of Edward, and he says he wants to die, just like he did when Edward shot him, just like he did when Edward talked to him after that. He hasn't healed. While Ed's and Stede's fatal flaw is their selfishness, Izzy's has always been his selflessness, and that is still true. He still loves the man who hurt him beyond comprehension, he still gives his life - takes away his guilt and gives him the family he earned for himself - so that man can be happy without him. He literally dies for Edward's sins. He is denied the opportunity to ever live for himself. He was given the beginnings of healing, a home and, a family; one party and a swan song.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #Izzy Hands #Edward Teach #Stede Bonnet #tw sui ideation #this post is much longer than I thought it would be whoops

[whimsicalpoet44]

Astro Observations # 4

🌟 Every Sagittarius I've ever met was very good at sports regarding the legs. Particularly soccer, skating, and running. For some reason, they also tend to be strong swimmers.

🌟 People with major Aries and Libra placements together tend to be a walking contradiction. They can simultaneously become enraged while also keeping a leash on their anger at the same time. They're also easily excitable. I love them.

🌟 Chiron in Virgo individuals often are forced to confront their biggest wounds or their health will suffer.

🌟 Gemini stelliums will often hyper-fixate on certain people, but do a terrible job expressing how much those people mean to them. Some will feel loved and others will feel discarded, leading to an abundance of confusion to the stellium individual. It's because they struggle with affection and communicating their intentions with the people around them.

🌟 Uranus in the 1st house | Aquarius risings | 11th House Suns will often manage many of the same struggles throughout their lives. They will be forced to break the societal norm and make their own way in life. It's likely an extremely painful, but transformative experience.

🌟 Capricorn Venus individuals love to express their love through gifts, but not in the way you think. Many interpret that showing love through gifts is because the person doesn't know how to express their emotions adequately. Cap Venus individuals do it because they genuinely care about the person and like to take a practical approach to affection. They want to care for their needs + give them the things they won't buy for themselves. It's a genuine act of love.

🌟 Pisces | 12th House placements can see how everyone affects the world. They understand their impact. They know how much one sentence can genuinely change a person's life and throw them on a completely different trajectory. (i.e. a cashier talking to someone about dinosaurs could peak a child's interest. That child then goes home, googles dinosaurs and becomes obsessed. They later become a paleontologist. That never would've happened if they hadn't heard the cashier say what they said).

☀️ Having your South Node in someone's 12th House indicates unfinished business from a past life. Deep and intricate life changes occur here. Often times, it can end badly, but the person learns what they need to in order to advance forward in life. If the 12th house individual is receptive to the south node individual, they can end up life long friends or have a fondness for each other.

🌟 If your romantic relationship isn't working out with someone, but you have 11th house synastry, it could indicate you're both better friends. If both parties are open to attempting a friendship, it could be a lifelong connection for both of you.

🌟 The reason so many millennials/gen z have issues with relationships is because a lot of them have their Chiron in Libra. This indicates wounds pertaining to relationships. (hence, the toxic dating culture we see among these individuals)

🌟 Individuals with a lot of Scorpio placements tend to struggle with being vulnerable. It often puts them in position where they MUST make a choice - will they embody the magnificence of Scorpio or will they embody every toxic stereotype we know about Scorpio. (obviously, not everyone with Scorpio placements experience this, but the ones with heavy heavy placements)

🌟 North Node in Leo in the 1st House individuals often gain fame just for being who they are.

#astrology observations #astro observations #astrology

[audhd-nightwing]

stranger things autism squad hcs

- the squad consists of jonathan, eddie, robin, steve (and will but i’ll talk abt him with the rest of the party’s hcs)

the rest of them are also neurodivergent, mainly adhd or anxiety and obviously they all have ptsd

- eddie robin and steve also have adhd (and steve has dyslexia)

- steve and jonathan tend to get overstimulated by the same things, same with eddie and robin

- eddie and jonathan have music playing 24/7 so their thoughts don’t get too loud

- steve is hyper-empathetic to the ppl around him and tends to mimic stims and tics from the others

a lot of times robin and steve end up mimicking the same stuff back at each other until one of them gets distracted (which is usually pretty fast)

- jonathan is touch averse, can only handle being touched by family/very close friends

- steve is touch starved and finds physical affection grounding (and eddie and robin are happy to oblige bc they do too)

- steve has a super high pain tolerance

- eddie does not understand the concept of personal space

- steve has excellent hand-eye coordination (basketball!) but that’s about it, he’s almost as clumsy as robin most days

- eddie has lived off of solely spaghettio’s and chicken nuggets for 19 years

- jonathan can’t drink any beverage other than water

- the only food steve knows how to make is his and robins comfort foods (his is mac and cheese, robin’s is pancakes)

- the four of them are completely clueless when people try to subtly hint or imply things to them. they will not get it unless it is explicitly stated

- steve and eddie have a good sense of direction but mess up left and right, jonathan and robin are the opposite, they get lost constantly but make fun of steve and eddie for having to do the L thing (iykyk) to figure out left/right

- eddie ends up chewing on paper a lot and has accidentally swallowed a bunch

- eddie and steve are incapable of doing homework and are terrible test-takers

- steve and robin are perfectionists but in different ways. steve will start organizing peoples rooms subconsciously and has a bunch of random little rules for himself (tie left shoe first, check locks three times, etc.) robin is a perfectionist about her grades/band/how she looks/etc.

- jonathan and steve hate making eye contact, eddie makes too much eye contact and robin doesn’t even look up from her book when people talk to her

- eddie and robin accidentally eavesdrop a lot but end up getting a bunch of town gossip and tell steve about it. they’re all really invested in mr. clarke’s love life

- eddie and jonathan have synesthesia

- jonathan has a lack of facial expressions while eddie and robin over-exaggerate theirs. steve masks the most so he has “normal” facial expressions

- steve has trouble expressing himself a lot of the time, he’ll usually ask robin for certain words to describe things and bc she loves big words and vocabulary she always has one

- robin is a terrible liar and steve finds it hilarious

- they all tend to recharge on their own after a lot of socializing, or they all go to steve’s and just like. exist together

- steve keeps a very strict schedule and gets really anxious/upset when it’s messed up

- robin and eddie tend to overshare

- jonathan and steve talk pretty monotone (jonathan more so) while robin and eddie talk in super energetic or dramatic tones (they’re both former theatre kids i can feel it in my bones)

- steve has auditory processing issues, often asks people to repeat what they said (overtime he also starts to lose his hearing so he ends up learning to read lips)

- when they’re anxious robin and eddie usually go hyperverbal, while steve and jonathan tend to go nonverbal

- steve and eddie have echolalia and both used to get super frustrated with themselves before they met and were like “oh im not the only one thank fuck”

- jonathan and robin have photographic memories, steve and eddie have trouble remembering what they had for breakfast

- robin is pretty blunt but steve appreciates it because she gets straight to the point and calls him out if he does something stupid (aka smth King Steve would do)

- steve’s main mask is, obviously, king steve. his parents didn’t like the way he acted when he was younger, they wanted a “normal” child. so they trained him to be one. he still falls back into old habits some days but robin or eddie snap him out of it and comfort him after

- steve and robin mask the most, but steve does wayyy more than all of them combined. robins parents are autistic so she only really masks around people in public

she does around steve until they get closer and she feels comfortable enough to unmask (though she doesn’t really know why,,) and steve notices and is like “…you can… take it off?” and robin realizes oh he’s like me

- joyce is an amazing mother and jonathan only ever felt the need to mask around lonnie. once he leaves (aka joyce kicks him out with hopper’s help) will and jonathan rarely mask at home unless they’re really anxious or upset

- eddie masked most of his childhood. when he grows up he masks around his dad, but not anyone else. he thought if anyone hated him they could go fuck themselves. wayne is also autistic so they never feel the need to mask around each other. he still doesn’t give a shit what other people think of him (and tries to help the others feel that way too)

their special interests:

- jonathan’s is photography

- eddie’s are dnd and metal music

- robins are cryptography and linguistics

- steve’s are hair care and marvel comics

steve infodumps to dustin and robin about them but doesn’t tell anyone else (besides will) because it’s “nerdy” lmao. and yes when eddie finds out he falls even harder for him

#stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #jonathan byers #will byers #autistic will byers #autistic robin buckley #autistic steve harrington #autistic eddie munson #autistic jonathan byers #autism swag #steddie #stranger things headcanons #joyce byers #wayne munson #platonic stobin #platonic stonathan #steve and robin #steve and jonathan #steve x eddie

[bepisbee]

Cute fluff short someone yesterday said vidow waltz

The best way he could describe the neck high button up attire was: suffocating. Once again, like a petulant child, when Zelda went away to socialize with strangers, Shadow undid the top few buttons of his shirt. Much better. Now it felt like he could breathe. This was part of his “anti-villain training” being forced to attend stuffy balls and parties to learn how to behave. He glanced around the room until he met Vio’s pretty ice blue eyes. His cheeks were a slight pink and he looked away quickly. Shadow smirked, he must have accidentally caught him staring. At least he got to attend with a date. As much as the ridiculous clothing made no one look good.

Shadow gracefully made his way over where the blond head had disappeared into the crowd. He shifted easily around people, grazing two champagne flutes from a tray on the way. Vio startled as one was placed in his hands.

“I was wondering who was taking all your attention,” Shadow teased. “But it was just me all along.” Vio hid behind a sip.

“Mm.” He agreed though, “Yes well, I am not the only one noticing your constant unbuttoning.” behind them the gossip squad in the corner giggled among themselves. All flush from alcohol and crush watching.

“This thing is stuffy.” He defended. “It s just two buttons.”

“It’s two buttons in high society, dear.” Vio mumbled. Part of his fluster was jealousy it seemed. Shadow’s ears twitched at the slower turn the music around them took. It was like they wanted him to fall asleep here.

Vio sighed and shifted anxiously. A few people swayed to the floor softly. “We are going to have to do that at some point.” He admitted. Shadow looked over and made a face.

“You’ve had your foot broken twice already darlin.”

“You’ll be fine, we practiced, remember?” Oh he remembered alright. He was terrible and kept accidentally floating from their close contact. And then it ended with them both on the floor, and not in a fun way.

Shadow huffed, but went along easily when Vio dragged him out as violin’s picked up tempo. Oh no. His eyes widened. He knew this! This was so hard to do! Shadow couldn’t waltz!

Vio snickered at his expression and took the lead. The giggling corner watched with sharp jealous eyes. Hands and arms in position, gently. It made his skin tingle from the unexpectedly soft gesture. Vio led him gracefully.

“Just focus on me.” He leaned in to whisper, the most genuine tone he’s taken all night. “You're alright.” Shadow kept their eyes locked.

His pretty freckled face grew warm but he didn’t look away. It helped to stop thinking about his awkward two left feet and just move.

As he looked closer, he started to think maybe this outfit wasn’t so bad after all. Especially on Vio. Occasionally the collar moved just enough to see the edges of the bruise he’d left with his sharp teeth.

Their tunnel vision ended with the song. Making their way back off the designated dance area, they kept their hands clasped.

“See? Not so bad.” Vio took new drinks instead of the ones they had abandoned. He knew better from last time.

“Yeah, yeah. Only because it was with you.” His eyes trailed to Vio’s now popped open collar button. You could clearly see the bite mark there now. Shadow’s expression glowed in satisfaction at the sight.

“What?” Vio accused.

“Nothin darlin.” He wrapped an arm loosely around his waist.

#shadow link #vidow #four swords #vio link #chili writes #legend of zelda #zelda #fanfiction #fluffy #dancing #cute gays being gay #i love them your honor

[merakiui]

Ok so you know how we have the ona holes series beginning? I want to present reader being the degenerate with a dildo based on her fav guy. Octo theme for azul, double dragon for malleus, etc but just like the ona holes these dildos are accidentally magic linked to the guys. At least reader only gets to really use them at night or rare alone time moments. Man I can see the guys just thinking it be a wet dream or just be enjoying themselves. Though malleus might talk to lilia about it and knowing how lilia seems to know everything, he'll rat out reader. Though mall will shamelessly just be like to reader, why not try the real deal instead?

Omg just imagine Azul's trying to smooth-talk his way into another scummy deal with the unfortunate soul in his VIP room and one minute he's so suave, a true businessman, and the next the breath is knocked out of him because it feels like someone's just slammed themselves down onto his dick and it feels so warm and wet being inside...whatever phantom hole this is. orz he'll have the twins escort the student out of the VIP room so he can "look over the contract more closely" when in reality he is slumped in his chair being fucked out of his mind, quickly losing his composure. T_T

Malleus definitely tells Lilia about this unique magical anomaly and knowing how shameless Lilia can get I wouldn't be surprised if he retrieves you, dresses you up so nicely for Malleus, and has you wait for him in his bedroom. Or maybe Lilia's already there working you open in preparation for Malleus. >:) Malleus comes back from his evening walk and Lilia's spreading your hole for Malleus to see, completely casual about everything.

Or Riddle who is in the middle of a croquet game during an Unbirthday party and all is normal and well, until he nearly falls over from both the pleasurable sensation that races up his spine and the shock of feeling someone lower themselves onto him. He has to quickly excuse himself just so no one will hear or see how unbecoming he looks and sounds when some invisible person is riding him so good. <3

OR ROLLO!!! OTL Rollo who is in the middle of a very important student council meeting. You're practicing foreplay with your dildo, teasing it so that when you're with the real thing you won't be so awkward or shy. But it's putting Rollo through hell. >_< the normally stone-faced, cold president is suddenly flushed bright red and his breathing is labored and he's gripping fistfuls of his uniform to ground himself. Luckily, the others just think he's caught a cold, but Rollo is so certain they all know what was really happening. He is fuming about it after the fact, so certain that once again magic is terrible. But then it will happen again and Rollo's starting to look forward to these spontaneous happenings. :)

Or Jade... orz Jade who is working a shift and is fucked so good he's shedding tears in the Mostro Lounge storage room. I feel like if it happened to Floyd he would use it as an excuse to skip his shift and go off to have fun. Floyd absolutely hunts down the person who was able to be sneaky like that with him, and when he finds you he'll want to do a lot of fun things. Or one of the twins using the dildo to fuck you while the other isn't around, which leaves both you and one of the twins in ecstasy and the other doesn't even know (or perhaps he does; either way, once they know how special the dildo is they're absolutely using it to tease you).

Or using your dildo while Vil's doing an interview. He is surprisingly composed throughout all of it. Actors really are a force to be reckoned with. But as soon as all is over, he's retreating to the bathroom to deal with this little issue. I also feel like Rook would learn about the magical connection and would fuck you with the dildo just to give Vil a little secret sexual release. <3 being Housewarden is oh-so-tough, you see. It works nicely for Rook because he gets to see you make so many beautiful expressions and sounds as he works the dildo in and out of you.

This is basically another hentai fantasy for Idia, only it's real life. He actually doesn't believe it's happening at first until he realizes it feels like he's fucking one of his onaholes, only one that's much warmer and tighter. This circumstance works incredibly well because he never leaves his room, so you could fuck him whenever and he won't complain. Just try not to use it when he's focused on gaming. He hates being interrupted when he's in the middle of a speed-run.

It also works well for Leona! Chances are the intrusion woke him from a nap, but this feeling is arguably much nicer than sleep. But it's bold of this mystery person to make a move on him when he can't even see them. He'll track you down and when he does he'll repay all of the teasing tenfold. After all, you can't expect him to not play your game, especially when the taste of victory is very appetizing.

#meraki thirsts #n/sfw

[monstersdownthepath]

Monster Spotlight: Chaneque

CR 1/MR 1

Neutral Evil Small Fey

Bestiary 4, pg. 28

Leaping from treetop to treetop in the primeval wilderness, Chaneque are every bit as terrible as they look, seeing themselves as punishment incarnate against any man or Fey for the 'crime' of existing within their forests. Unlike the versions of these creatures we have here on Earth, the Chaneque of Golarion are universally nasty, hostile creatures that attack and kill other, friendlier Fey beings, feasting upon their flesh, drinking their blood, and turning their bones into weapons against mankind.

Utilizing a disgusting mixture of pixie brains, black mushrooms, and a substance scraped off their own bodies described as a "nectar," a Chaneque can turn the skull of a Fey being into an incredibly dangerous tool; they typically carry as many of these skulls as they can, usually about five or six, and can hurl them one at a time as a standard action ranged attack. Any being struck by the skull takes 1d4+3 damage... and must succeed a DC 14 Will save or have their soul torn from their body and imprisoned inside the skull.

Yes, as befitting of a Mythic creature, this is a CR 1 monster that can essentially kill someone in a single shot regardless of their HP... though I only say essentially because your allies can and SHOULD get to the skull first, as the Chaneque's dark designs may prove even worse than death. Any creature in possession of a skull containing a trapped soul can command the still-living body of the victim, forcing it to obey their will as if using Dominate Monster with an unlimited duration, and which cannot be resisted or dispelled until the skull is destroyed or whomever is holding the skull expresses a desire to release the soul. Should the Fey get the skull, it can turn a party against one another in short order.

But! You may have noticed that the Chaneque has no special dominion over the soul; any creature who's holding the skull can command the victim, and any creature holding the skull can choose to release the imprisoned soul with nothing but a moment's concentration. Since the thrown skull usually ends up at the feet of whoever it just hit, this typically means it's in easy reach of the victim's allies, giving them an easy method to get their friend back. This, however, only works if A) they realize what happened, since it's not like their ally drops dead (they look more dazed, if anything), and B) they're not scattered by terror. Chaneque have both an Aura of Fear (DC 13 Will to resist) AND the ability to cast Fear 3/day, and this is dangerous for a specific reason: fear stacking. Both effects cause the shaken condition even if someone saves against them, but being hit by both the aura and the spell cause shaken to become frightened even if they succeed both saves, and staying in the aura or being hit by the spell one more time causes frightened to become panicked, more or less removing that creature from the fight.

Yet another reason why Unbreakable Heart should be a party of every team's spell list!

If you can't protect yourself from the fear, the Chaneque can become invincible in as little as two rounds as it steals the souls of the whole party one by one... but if you have some fear-protection, or if you can stay out of its 30ft aura and pelt it with ranged attacks, it'll go down quite easily. Chaneque have no DR--not even the token cold iron DR most Fey have--low saves, and no Resistances or immunities of any sort (though they do have a decent 19 HP). Adding to this, their only offense in melee is a single claw for 1d3+3 damage, incentivizing parties to collapse on the little buggers the instant it's safe to do so.

Their weakness, in turn, incentivizes them to play smart. They're cunning little buggers, using their 20ft climb speed into their 60ft fly speed to leap from treetop to treetop specifically to stay out of the reach of the mortals they're trying to steal the souls of. If you're being hunted by one of these things, you may not even notice until it's blasted the party with Fear and started hucking its skulls, gaining control of the party one by one...

Fun fact, though: there's nothing in its statblock that says that you can't take these enchanted skulls for your own use. They tend to have about five or so of the things on them, and any that aren't destroyed can be recovered and used by your party as, essentially, throwable Dominate Person scrolls. If you want to be extra nasty, you can use the Steal maneuver to snatch one, and use it against the Chaneque itself, an irony the Fey likely won't appreciate. This maneuver is likely the real quest when hunting one of these creatures, as they really enjoy burying stolen souls around in their territory, dooming most of their victims to starve to death as they aimlessly wander the woods. Commanding a Chaneque to find, dig up, and release the souls it's taken is likely the party's first steps towards getting Mythic power of their own!

You can read more about them here.

#Monster Spotlight #Mythic Monster #CR 1 to 5 #Pathfinder #dungeons and dragons

[crystal-multifandom-now]

Can i maybe ask for Jacob holland x princess reader. The reader is the daughter of the king and queen in sea beast?

Remember to take care of yourself :)

Heya! Apologies for the delay and thanks for the well wishes. Admittingly, I found myself enjoying imagining this kind of scenario. I just wish I had proper time to write my imagination out or even good mental health to do so. Anyways, I don't know if this was a writing request or a headcanon but I'm just gonna assume its headcanon. I hope you like it.

P.S. sorry too if my writing is kinda out of touch right now...

>Upon Jacob's endeavors in hunting the beasts, his crewmates would often speak of the Princess' beauty and privileges, but they could never know what she was truly like, only that they hear a bunch of rumors on how she may be spoiled, demanding, and has a horrible attitude.

> Jacob never expected himself to be well acquainted with one of the royals. He sees himself only as a subject paid to hunt down monsters and save the people from them.

>When Jacob arrives at the palace and announces the presence of the royals. He found himself in awe when he saw the presence of the Princess for the first time, with soft and regal features that makes her look more elegantly natural than the king and queen.

>The Princess would often scoff every time Admiral Hornagold tries to make his impression on everyone in the room. She scorned at the mere mention of her parents' plans to betroth her to the Admiral.

>Jacob would steal a glance at the Princess whilst everyone heads to the balcony to introduce them the Imperator.

>The Princess expresses disbelief when her parents threatened to revoke their support to the hunters and things began to get tense. But eventually turned into shock and admiration towards Jacob when he tries to ease the tension and negotiate with her parents. She was very impressed on how he was able to handle things well for both parties.

>Because of what happened in the palace balcony, the Princess considered the idea to stow away with the Inevitable, leaving behind a letter to her parents as well imploring them to not find her.

>Jacob discovered the Princess on the boat and was terribly shocked that she stowed away, he had no choice but to keep her identity a secret on their voyage to hunt the red bluster as well as promising her that he would keep her safe and return her back to the palace in one piece.

>As time passed by the sea, the crewmates naively welcomed her and later found themselves teasing Jacob for being his woman, the captain and Sarah were suspicious of her identity but did not push to know her further. Eventually, everyone sees the Princess as a potential romantic interest for Jacob and would make a fine wife for the future captain of the Inevitable.

>The princess was also fond of Maisie as she expresses her enthusiasm to hunt the sea beasts down. And when they proceed to have an adventure with Jacob, Red, and Blue. The Princess learned and slowly changed her perspective regarding the sea beasts, and it sparked her to make a strong stand against her parents' will.

>With the Princess' plan to rebel against the crown, her own blood, and legacy. She welcomed the idea of a different life, possibly an ordinary life with Jacob and Maisie.

>When Red got captured, the princess was devastated, and the Inevitable crew found out the truth, so the captain decided to confine her in one of the ship's rooms to return her to the palace along with their prized possession. She fought with Jacob expressing her anger and her change of mind to proceed with her parents' plan of an unhappy married life with the Admiral.

>Jacob feels ashamed and guilty, he also didn't want her to be with anyone else but him, yet he could not express his feelings towards her properly because of his thoughts on how they both live in different worlds that are not meant to be.

>The moment the princess witnessed Jacob fighting and defending Red, She could not help but feel worried for him and when Jacob was plunged into the waters, injured. The princess did not hesitate to dive in and help Jacob, which led to people witnessing her actions and suspecting her intentions.

>At the end of all the troubles and Maisie's speech, the princess regained hope and vow to continue Maisie's intent and Jacob's declaration to end the hunt and to find the truth about their history despite revealing the flaw and mistakes of her family and that it might cost her life in doing so. Nonetheless, the princess was persistent in her vow.

>The princess finally confessed her true feelings to Jacob and so did he. Both of them shared a deep kiss as it will be their first and last for the moment since they won't be seeing each other for a while as they move on to their different lives.

#jacob holland #jacob holland x reader #jacob holland headcanons #sea beast #sea beast fanfic #sea beast netflix #jacob holland sea beast

[lunarblazes]

There’s always a strange atmosphere when the sessions end, especially when you’ve managed to antagonize literally the entire server and you and your partner are still on your green lives.

Grian’s always managed to antagonize the entire server by the time they’re red. One thing he’s never managed is to stay green the whole time.

(Last time, he was never green to begin with, not without Scar’s ill-gotten life beating in his chest, and the time before that his green life was forfeit the moment he stepped up to do some real damage.)

And Scar’s never managed to keep his leverage. He runs his thumb over the ever-cool obsidian of the enchanting table, the magic he immediately gave to Grian, though he knows the man’s disloyal. Scar’s disloyal too. They both know they’ve got other people, people they tell themselves are more important. And maybe they are. But Scar’s never kept his leverage this long (a banner, the hearts he sold on his sleeve) and Grian’s never been green on his own, so.

Grian pokes his head out into the open, right next to where the cactus marks the spot. It’s a bit of a conspicuous mark, but Scar’s never been one to stay hidden. He won’t die like a mole. They’re filthy little creatures, he’s been told, much like pandas. He’s already chosen to stake his life on his wonderful Jellies, he won’t be dying like some underground rat this time.

Grian’s nervous. Scar can tell. It’s not exactly like it’s the hardest thing in the world to notice, really, not the way he tugs at his hair and paces and sparks the flint and steel ablaze in his hands. At least this time he’s not fiddling with the TNT.

And the thing is that Scar’s never been green this long. Heavens, no. He went out like a light in the first game, all his fresh lives drained by the man standing across from him.

But that’s in the past, really! Today, they’re supposed to be partners, and Grian just got back from a pool party that Scar hears went terribly and probably made things worse for them. Scar had a great nap.

“You know you’re capable of sitting down, right?” Scar asks.

Grian turns, his expression tense and his hand on his sword. “Mm.”

“Did you not know that?” he teases. “The way you’ve been pacing, I’d believe it.”

“Oh, shut it,” Grian mumbles, going back to staring out at the empty night sky above them. It reminds Scar rather of a cat, its gazed fixed on an unseen point, maybe a ghost. Well, Scar knows there aren’t any ghosts this time, at least not yet, so he really doesn’t understand why Grian’s being difficult about this.

“If you go to sleep, you’ll be able to hear someone sneaking up on us better,” he offers.

Of all things, of course it’s that comment that makes Grian wrinkle up his nose and take his hands off the flint and steel. “What on earth are you talking about?”

“Oh, you know. Just a bit of a Certified Scar Tip for you there! Made extra-special, and more importantly, free, because you’re my soulmate,” Scar grins, “and also because if you keep staring at the clouds like they’re gonna strangle us, I think you might burst a blood vessel, and that’d be unpleasant for both of us, really.”

Grian scoffs, but he sits down. Scar smiles to himself in the dark and leans back in his bed.

“Tomorrow we can focus on fun things! Like moving the pandas in.”

His partner makes a strangled noise that sounds a lot like an annoyed manatee chastising its calf. Scar takes that as an enthusiastic noise of agreement.

The enchantment table and the flint and steel sit near the entrance, an arm’s reach away, as he manages to wrangle the anxious inter-session air into submission. Grian falls asleep within the hour.

#grian #goodtimeswithscar #dlsmp #double life spoilers #lunar prophecies #hiiiii #i wrote the majority of this while working spotlights at a show #don’t mind me just . having a moment

[chasseurdeloup]

Toss a Coin to Your Hunter

TIMING: Early March LOCATION: Another Castle PARTIES:  @eliaskahtri and @chasseurdeloup SUMMARY:  Elias runs into Kaden while he's on the job at the arcade and they both find themselves in unexpected territory. CONTENT WARNINGS: Nerdery, that's it.

It was a Friday night, and Elias was trying to make an effort to go out and do things instead of letting himself rot alone inside. He needed to branch out more if he wanted to make more friends. Another Castle was the arcade below his apartment in the downtown area, so he decided to stop by. He had made sure to wait until past seven so that it was a bit of an older crowd when he arrived. The last thing he needed was to be surrounded by a bunch of college kids while he was in his mid-thirties. 

A Mariokart tournament was going on, and Elias wanted to see what the scene was like. He wasn’t the best at the game, but some friendly competition with people who just wanted to have fun was always an option for getting out and meeting new people. He spotted a familiar face he hadn’t seen in a few months. 

“Kaden?” Elias called out, tilting his head to one side with a curious expression. “Didn’t expect to see you in a place like this. You a fan of arcade games?” The Pacman game to his right beeped, and he looked over, only to see it back on the menu screen. He shrugged, then turned his attention back to the man.

There was one reason and one reason only that would lead Kaden into a place like this: a monster. Or, well, a stray animal. Maybe a ghost. Or a shifter or something, perhaps a curse or– Alright, there were a few reasons why Kaden would walk into an arcade full of loud sounds and bright lights. The point was that none of those reasons were to play games. They didn’t appeal to him much. For one, he never got the chance to play them as a kid so he felt stupid and terrible at every single game he ever attempted. Even though he wasn’t as intense as his sister, he still hated losing. Anytime he tried to play, he was bad, felt bad, and then found himself frustrated. So, good for the people who liked that kind of thing, Kaden just wasn’t one of them.

Instead, he was here due to a call to animal control that Gary promptly wrote off. There were some weird ���hamster-looking things with horns chewing through parts of the store,” apparently. Gary informed them that animal control was not pest control, and he wasn’t wrong. Animal control didn’t deal with rodent infestations, even if those rodents were supernatural in nature: snicker-snackers. Which was why Kaden wasn’t there as animal control. Not officially, at least. He told the kid working at the front he was there as animal control, that he was there to help. Best part about working off the job was he wouldn’t have to write up any fucking paperwork about this. 

Kaden crouched down to get a better look at the floor, the machines, the carpet, and anything he could get his eyes on, hunting for any signs of the creatures. A brick or two were wedged under the legs of one pinball machine to keep it balanced, tiny teeth marks etched into the edge of the wood. They were lucky it wasn’t worse. He was about to crawl towards the next machine, see if he could figure out where they might have gone, when he heard his name. 

The ranger jumped and went to stand. Only, he forgot he was underneath a pinball machine. His head thunked against the bottom of the table and he could here clicking and clacking and bells and whistles going off right above him. “Putain!” 

Kaden rubbed the back of his head as he slowly backed his way out from under the arcade game to get a better look at who he was talking to. Merde, that was going to be a bump. “Elias?” he said, raising a brow when he came face to face with the other man. “What are you doing here?” 

A pause. That was a stupid question. “Nevermind. I can guess.” This was very much his sort of scene. “Anyway, just here for a job. Animal control job. All that.”

Surprised by his name being called, Elias whirled his head around to see Kaden rubbing the back of his head with a curious gaze. “Oh, hey!” He replied with a smile. “I live above the place,” he explained with a shrug of his shoulder. “Thought I’d do my best to try and not rot away in my apartment like I want to.” He spoke, realizing maybe he was being a bit too honest with someone that was virtually a stranger. “On a job?” He asked. He knew very little of Kaden, but he knew enough to know that he wasn’t the type to play video games. 

Elias looked over to one of the TV setups, it was on the menu screen for one of the Witcher games. Elias smiled at the idea of the game. It was a compelling story, he’d read the books too. Something about it was drawing him in, though. Like he’d forgotten all about his conversation with Kaden, Elias began to slowly walk toward the machine like it had a siren song calling out to him, his eyes faraway as he slinked toward the machine. It was so entrancing, and in that moment, he felt like he was there. The sudden need to break out into poetry came over him, to flirt with everything that moved… what was happening? He blinked, trying to draw himself away. 

“I think there’s something weird about this game,” he said aloud, not sure if Kaden was still listening or if he’d gone back to what he was doing. “I can’t look away.” He then said, starting to feel as if something magical was afoot. “Hey, Kaden, you see this?” Elias felt his knees start to buckle, and suddenly, the man was passed out on the floor, but really, he was somewhere else entirely. 

Elias Kahtri was no longer a boring, human man. No, he was… a bard! Master Dandelion! Elias blinked and looked around, realizing he was in the center of the town of the game. Oh shit, he thought with wide eyes, looking down at his outfit to realize that he was the sidekick to Geralt. “I’m in the fucking game!” He shouted, drawing the stares of various NPCs.

Kaden’s face scrunched with concern. Rot away in his apartment? Didn’t sound great. Not that it mattered to the ranger one way or another what Elias did or didn’t do with his free time. Something about the statement, though, it was concerning. “Yeah, on a job. You know, animal control.”

Before Kaden had finished his sentence, the man was drifting away towards one of the glowing screens. “Hey, I didn’t think I was that boring,” he said as he craned his neck to get a look at what the hell was going on over there. What could possibly be so distracting about that screen to lose focus that fast? 

His brows narrowed, watching the pixels on the screen. Looked like a standard video game to him, but Elias was entranced, drawing ever closer. “I don’t,” he told the man, “and I think you should step away from the–” 

Elias was sucked up into the game itself before Kaden could say putain.

Merde. Kaden ran over to the screen and felt gravity falling away and the world shifting around him. In the blink of an eye, he was face down in the mud and wearing something strangely heavy. A lot heavier than his usual gear. 

He grumbled as he pushed himself up off the ground, wiping the mud on his pants. Which were leather. And just above the waistband was chainmail. Not to mention the gloves, also leather and something that looked like armor. “Putain?” he said, giving himself another one over before looking around.

They were definitely not inside the arcade anymore but somewhere outside. Somewhere he’d never seen. It looked almost medieval. And Elias was wearing some silly outfit with an even sillier hat and had a lute strapped to his back. “We’re what?!”  he said to the other man. No, that couldn’t be. They were in a game? “What the hell kind of game is this? Don’t fucking tell me I have to save a princess from a castle or some shit.” He muttered more curse words under his breath. “Any clue how the fuck we get out of here?” 

Swallowing, Elias looked over to Kaden to see that he was dressed in heavy leather armor and mud covered his face. “You’re a witcher.” Elias spoke with a grin, suddenly glad that his years of video games were finally paying off in the grand scheme of things. “They kill monsters, but only if they get paid. Which means there are monsters in this world too, except these ones are programmed to attack on sight.” Elias pulled a face at the idea, then shook his head. 

“Well if I know what’s going on correctly, I’m just your sidekick. I write prose and sing about your adventures and triumphs.” Elias pulled the lute off his back and strummed the strings, and it was obvious he had no idea how to play it. It was out of tune and the cacophony of strings made the man wince at his own attempt. “Okay, maybe I won’t sing. That’s… probably for the benefit of all.” He strapped the lute back onto his back, then shrugged his shoulders.

“I know this game. It’s the third Witcher game. It’s a roleplaying game where your decisions shape the game and you have a grand adventure and kill monsters and the big bad guys are this army that when it shows up, everything turns frozen. Elias waved his hands around animatedly as he spoke, beginning to walk through the old-fashioned village. “If I’m right, then this is the start of the game.” 

Elias suddenly snapped a finger, then pointed to Kaden. “Also everyone hates you because you’re a witcher. They call your kind mutants. So… we have to watch out for normal people as well as monsters. Don’t say anything weird and we should be fine. As for getting out, I don’t know. Maybe we have to complete the starting area? Which is by defeating a gryphon…” Elias trailed off, suddenly worried of how they were going to pull that off. “Or… maybe we can find something easier, like a fucking off button.”

Elias was saying a lot of damn words and they might have made sense to him, but they didn’t make any of it make any more sense to Kaden. The one thing he did catch was “kill monsters.” Putain de merde, even in another fucking reality he was hunting goddamn monsters. With a sword, apparently. There was a crossbow on him, too, but it sure as hell wasn’t as powerful as the compound one he had at home. Looked a little useless, if he was being honest. Sword it was, he supposed. While the other man was chattering on, Kaden was trying to figure out what other shit he was carrying on him. He wasn’t sure how the fuck all of it was in one little bag but he figured he should be grateful that the video game logic persisted in this case. There were bottles of strange substances, more weapons, books, some pieces of metal, gems, powder, full hides and… a broken oar? What the fuck?

His gaze shot back up to meet Elias at the word “gryphon.” Kaden blinked back at the man. He couldn’t be serious. And yet, nothing about his countenance suggested that was the case. “A fucking gryphon?” he repeated. “And wait, did you say mutants? I’m a goddamn mutant now?” Then again, he considered what he was normally: a guy with enhanced strength, hearing, tougher than normal skin, and the ability to sense werewolves. Alright, maybe not much had changed. Kaden sighed and wiped a gloved hand down his face. “Fine. Lead the way. I guess.” 

As they started to walk, he realized how goddamn slow he felt. And he couldn’t pick up the pace, not without running. Which sounded exhausting. He glanced around and saw there were horses. “Hey, do I get one of those?” he asked Elias, pointing to one of the horses hitched to a post. 

Elias watched as Kaden slowly came to terms with the reality they found themselves in. “Uh, yeah. You’re a mutant. And you’re judged for it. Instead of being praised for hunting monsters, you’re a mild inconvenience but also useful when needed.” He shrugged his shoulders then pulled the lute off of his back and began to strum it. Having no musical talent, it sounded cacophonous and wrong. “I…” He strummed a few more times, then gave up and put the lute away again. “Okay, maybe not.” He spoke, frowning. “Man, if I’m going to be stuck as a bard, at least give me magical musical talent.” He complained, kicking at the dirt under his foot. 

“Yeah, a gryphon! We’ll… totally get our asses kicked. I’m not a fighter.” He scratched at the back of his neck, the reality of their situation finally kicking in. As they walked along the path, Elias stopped in his tracks as Kaden pointed to a bay horse. “Actually…” He took a good look at the horse, then grinned. “That’s actually your horse!” He told Kaden with a bright smile. “Name’s Roach, isn’t she a beauty? Call her, she’ll probably come to you if the theory that you’re Geralt is to be believed…” He trailed off, lost in thought as he tried to remember the details of a game he hadn’t played in quite a long time. 

Elias took the other horse that was next to Roach, deciding that the person didn’t need it. It was a video game after all, he could do what he wanted, right? Only problem was, he had never ridden a horse in his entire life. He stared up at it, then frowned. “I… should probably walk.” He decided, nervous.

“Of fucking course they to,” Kaden grumbled. The reality of what that actually meant hit him a little slower. “Hold on, that means people know about the supernatural?” He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He’d be lying if he said he’d never wondered what life would be like if the supernatural were less of a secret, if he didn’t have to hide what he was or how he grew up. He wondered if life would be better, or at least easier. Sounded like he was fucked either way if this world he landed in was anything to go by. 

“Roach? The horse’s name is Roach? Putain de merde.” Who the fuck named their horse that? Nevermind, didn’t matter. “Uh, come here, Roach,” he called out to her. The mare looked at him questioningly (as much as a horse could), but trotted over all the same. He was thankful that his horseback riding skills have improved dramatically since he started dating Monty. It was easy to pull himself up into the saddle, even with the armor he was wearing. And Roach seemed agreeable enough. 

He raised a brow as he watched Elias approach the other horse. It was clear he was not as familiar with horses and that, despite being in this fucking video game, they didn’t have skills beyond their normal arsenal. Right. That was concerning. If the gryphon was anything like he was imagining, he was pretty sure he didn’t have the skills to take it down by his damn self. Especially since he was going to take a wild guess that he wasn’t getting his hands on a shotgun anytime soon. 

Kaden rolled his eyes at the man’s declaration that he’d walk. That was going to be too goddamn slow and left him even more vulnerable than he already was. “Come on,” he said as he reached down to grab Elias’s arm, pulling him up onto the back of the horse, seated just behind Kaden. “Probably a good idea to hold on.” 

He nudged the horse ahead and they began trotting down the path. For some goddamn reason, there were villagers just constantly in his way. Kaden did his best to steer past them, but Roach didn’t seem to be as dexterous or responsive as most horses he was used to. “Hey, watch it!” one man yelled out as he dodged out of the way. Another woman yelped. “Don’t walk in the fucking roads!” Kaden shouted back but it didn’t seem to deter them from their predetermined loops. “Who the fuck makes people walk in front of a goddamn horse?” he grumbled to himself.

It was then he realized he wasn’t even sure if they were headed the right way. He sort of just picked a direction. Kaden considered pausing to ask one of the people wandering around but the dirty looks they shot him didn’t make him want to strike up any conversation. He was going to assume he was headed down the right path since, well, it was a path in a video game after all. How hard could it be to navigate?

Roach started to get nervous and skittish as they neared a small patch of water along the road. “Is she scared of water or something?” he asked Elias as if there would be a simple explanation from the video game… rules or whatever it was. It wasn’t like it was deep, there was no reason the horse couldn’t cross it. They wouldn’t even have to jump to get to the other side. Hell, he was pretty sure it might go up as high as his ankles. Kaden urged the horse forward anyway and Roach listened, but was still uneasy. Whatever, it was probably nothing, some way to teach a player how to gallop or some shit. Either way, he was sticking to trotting while he had an extra passenger on the horse with him.

If he had looked to either side of the path as they reached the middle, he might have noticed the bubbling at the surface of the water. He might have reconsidered his decision to not go faster than a trot. Instead, inhuman screams rang out and the water splashed around them as three ghoulish creatures popped out of the water, bringing with them the stench of foul water and decay. They were blue, scaley, and Kaden sure didn’t miss the jagged teeth and sharp claws. “Putain de merde! What the fuck are those?!” he shouted while Roach did her best to keep calm while she was clearly freaking out. Shit, they didn’t have time to learn what those were. Fuck this.

”Hold on!” he shouted to Elias as he kicked Roach into a gallop. So much for not faster than a trot.

_____

“Not only do these people know about them but it’s a normal occurrence. Just another day as far as they’re concerned.” Elias shrugged a shoulder, looking at all the townspeople. “God, can you imagine living in a world like this?” He spoke, glad to have indoor plumbing and no cockatrices. “Yeah, the horse’s name is Roach. Appreciate her! Love her! Treat her with the respect she deserves!” Elias retorted with a frown. 

Before he could protest, Elias was on the back of a horse. God, this was wrong. He didn’t like it one bit. “Kaden, this is such a bad idea,” Elias spoke, his fear of the gentle beasts coming to the surface. Then, the horse started moving and Elias was quick to grab onto Kaden to keep himself from falling off. 

“Hey, the NPCs aren’t supposed to be smart,” Elias mentioned with a roll of his eyes as Kaden complained after nearly trampling a few people. He watched in partial fascination and partial horror as the landscape went by. “We’ve got to stop getting into things whenever we run into each other,” he remarked with a smirk. Then, the horse started to get freaked out. “Oh, those are drowners!” Elias spoke, pointing to the blue-colored things coming straight for them. 

Before he knew it, they were taking off down the path before the things could get their hands on them, and Elias felt his grip tighten for dear life. “Oh this is nuts!” Elias complained as the horse galloped along. “I mean, how are we going to get out of here? Are we stuck in the Witcher world forever? I can’t play the lute!” Elias felt himself spiraling at the concept of being stuck there. Not to mention Kaden didn’t really fit Geralt’s part either. 

“Man, I mean I could have been anyone in this game, and I’m Dandelion.” He continued. “He’s woman-obsessed and a genius with words. I’m neither of those things.” Elias frowned and shook his head at the idea of being someone like Dandelion.

It was in the midst of Elias’s complaining when a terrifying screech came from above them. Elias looked up, and there it was. Swooping right for them was the gryphon from the beginning of the game. “Oh, we’re done for!” Elias shouted, pointing up at the creature. “Run, Roach! Run!” He demanded, pulling out Geralt’s, no… Kaden’s sword and pointing it up at the creature. “Back off!” He demanded, knowing it would do little to deter the beast.

Roach kept running, but started to make scared whinnies and as the large bird creature swooped closer. “Oh, we’re going to die here!” Elias shouted, squeezing his eyes shut. This was it, goodbye world! The gryphon’s talons were pointed straight for them, and they made contact when– he opened his eyes and he was on the ground of the arcade next to Kaden, who was still unconscious. The game had been stopped. Elias blinked up at the worker who was staring down at him with wide eyes. 

Elias blinked a few times before forcing himself up onto his feet, disoriented. He was just holding Geralt’s sword and about to meet his end. Shit, was Kaden still in the game? Elias whirled back to look at Kaden, who was slowly coming to. “Oh thank god,” Elias muttered as he noticed the man blink a few times. “What happened?” He asked the worker, who just held their hands up. “I dunno man, you two just passed out.” The guy spoke, taking a step back. “It’s only my first day, I dunno.” Elias waved a hand, telling the kid that they’d be alright, and put his hand out to Kaden to help him up. “You alright?”

_____

A string of French curse words left Kaden’s mouth as they sprinted from the drowning monsters or whatever they were only to run into the aforementioned gryphon. At least that’s what he assumed was attached to big goddamn talons and horrendous shrieking.  “Hey!” he shouted when he noticed Elias had taken one of the swords for himself. “Do you know what you’re doing with that?!” He grumbled some more and then reached for the other sword that was on his back. Lucky there were two, he supposed. 

Kaden couldn’t say he had a plan of attack beyond just that: attack. He had faced bies and catoblepones, he could face a goddamn gryphon. He shouted back and thrust the sword up towards the beast’s talons as they swooped in towards them. 

Before the blade even made contact, the world went black around him and everything faded away. He groaned as he came back to life on the other side of the screen, pain shooting through his side as he lifted himself up off the floor. Putain de merde, whatever position he’d landed in wrecked hell on his spine. “Passed out you say?” Kaden felt his head to see if there were any bumps that would explain the hallucination from that game or whatever. It had to be that, right? If the kid was saying that they passed out. 

Only, Elias was there, too, and he looked just as startled. Fucking hell, had they really been sucked into that game? “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said with an added wince as he stood. “Back disagrees but I think it’ll get over it. Comparatively.” He looked over at the screen that they had been sucked into – black, empty, lifeless now that the console was turned off for the night. “That happened, right?” he said looking back at Elias. What the fuck kind of supernatural bullshit led to this, anyway? Maybe it was some fae bullshit or spellcasting gone awry. “Glad that’s over. I don’t think I’m going to become a gamer anytime soon.” Too much like real life. 

#writing #wickedswriting #para #c: elias #eliaskahtri #toss a coin to your hunter

[blackjackkent]

Everyone loves a good camp fight.

Sadly, no one else in camp came to help fight the spawn except the current main party (and Astarion, obviously). On the bright side, this is apparently counted as before the long rest, so Hector still had his cloud giant potion up and could absolutely wreck face.

Highly entertained by Astarion's combat, which was AI controlled while the rest of the party was under my control. When it came around to his turn, Astarion wandered over to Hector, cast Invisibility on him despite both of them being DIRECTLY in front of one of the spawn, then moseyed on behind said spawn, tried to hit it with Flourish as a bonus action, missed, wandered away and was smacked by two different opportunity attacks, and then watched as the spawn cast Sense Hidden Presence and knocked Hector right back out of invisiblity.

Phenomenal. Stunning. 10/10 no notes.

Unsurprisingly, all of the spawns vanished into gas clouds and drifted away when they were "killed" so presumably we'll see them again later. (And, probably, they'll tell Cazador that we're coming and planning to kick his ass, but I can't imagine he hasn't guessed that already anyway.)

At the end of the fight, I tried four times to arrange everyone in positions such that Hector would get the post-fight conversation with Astarion; I put him closest to Astarion, I put him farthest away, I made sure Hector was getting the last hit on his turn, but no matter what I did, Astarion would ONLY talk to Karlach for this conversation and I couldn't figure out how to convince him otherwise.

I mean I don't blame him, because Karlach is great, but I would like my player character to have the conversations please. XD

That said - this turned out to be a strangely poignant interaction just because it ended up being these two characters specifically.

I'm going to go with the explanation that Hector darted off to do a perimeter sweep of the camp with Minsc and Jaheira and make sure there were no other lurking spawn hanging about, and Karlach (because she is a sweetheart) hung out with Astarion to make sure he was okay.

"What a mess. Well, at least you've met my family now."

He's smiling slightly, offhandedly, as if it doesn't matter, but it's not fooling anyone, least of all Karlach, who is a master herself at laughing jocularly at terrible situations she is stuck in.

"Was it true what they said? That you gave up fighting him long ago?"

It occurs to me that Karlach can relate to that too. Ten years she spent in Zariel's employ (not long for a vampire, but very long for a living tiefling), and there must have come a point where she realized that trying to resist was pointless and doing what was necessary to survive was the only thing left to her (at least until the beacon of hope that was the nautiloid came crashing through the Hells).

Astarion, however, recoils - clearly taking it as a criticism, a condemnation.

"You don't know what it was like," he snarls. "There was no way out! Once--" His voice cracks abruptly, and he stops and has to take a breath before he can continue. "In my first decade of slavery, I found a... darling boy, who I couldn't bear to bring back to him." He swallows. "So I ran, instead of hurting that... sweet man..."

His voice is thick with the memory, with pain and grief and fear overlaid on themselves across centuries.

"After Cazador caught me, the bastard sealed me, starving, inside a dusty tomb, all on my own... for an entire year."

"A year of silence. Months of scratching my hands raw, trying to carve my way out. More months of not moving at all. Months wishing only for death."

His mouth tightens - whether with anger or tears or both, it's hard to tell.

"So don't you ever judge me for doing what Cazador ordered."

(A/N: Someone bring Neil Newbon back and give him another award please.)

Karlach had the saddest fucking expression on her face through this whole little speech. Perhaps she considers telling him what she went through in return. How Zariel had her trapped in a war she wanted no part of, killing people she had no quarrel with. How sometimes she considered running away but had nowhere to go; how disobedience meant punishment - sometimes of a military sort and sometimes far more personal. How she understands about doing what is necessary to survive, about being trapped in another's cruelty.

But all she says is, "I have no words. I'm so sorry."

He notices none of the nuance of her response; his expression is twisted in rage at the memories, an anger that is trying to blot out the thickness of tears audible in his voice. "Nothing can make up for that," he mutters hoarsely. "Not even Cazador's death."

Without waiting for a response, he turns and walks away.

#bjk plays baldur's gate 3 #hector carlisle #WELL THAT WAS UPSETTING

[pinkwhalepjs]

Rage and Ruidus

More than any other campaign, Bell’s Hells is creating a story deeply rooted in their characters emotional impulses, flaws, and failings. As Orym implores them to understand in the episode’s climax, they are all powder kegs ready to explode and they need each other desperately in order to survive and in order to save their world, which, like them, in on the verge of imminent destruction caused by problems left too long unaddressed and festering in secrecy. After all, the red storms of Ruidus are themselves described as “angry” and “raging”.

The group boils over early in the episode as Fearne’s repressed anger at her parents for abandoning her basically due to their own carelessness (and their lack of reaction leaving her rage impotent) burns into the rest of the party as they see their own pasts mirrored. Imogen whose parents abandoned her for nearly identical reasons, their own obsession with or hatred of Ruidus, obviously brims with her own mirrored rage but it also spreads to FCG who was left by his only known family and even Ashton who too has a history of being left behind.

The rest of the episode can practically all be encapsulated by the wild and sudden rage of Ashton. The party is caught by surprise at his irrationally destructive behavior, destroying an important item the party needed on a whim. FCG senses Ashton’s own fury with no direction in an echo of Fearne’s, tells him not every problem can be solved with a hammer which only served to upset him more and inspires him to destroy Ira’s room. The last thing they want is to be reminded of their own powerlessness.

Before we even get to the end of the episode, a moment of extreme rage bubbles out from Imogen, Fearne, and Ashton as they escalate to the point of screaming “Let’s kill our parents!”. This is laughed off as a ridiculous moment but in truth is one of the only real glimpses of these characters depth of anger on this day. FCG is also a member of this patricidal exchange which creates quite the case of situational irony as it becomes increasingly clear that FCG did in fact attempt to kill his creator/family when his anger boiled over years ago.

The final scene can be understood as the culminating expression of the rage FCG, Fearne, and Laudna have all been continuously suppressing. Fearne finally gets the chance to scream and burn as someone finally says what she fears, that her parents simply didn’t care enough to keep her, to know who they gave her to, or even come looking (and worse that this implies some flaw within herself to make her not worth keeping). Laudna explodes as Delilah pushes fear and dread onto her and she hears her own worst fears, that she was “never alive” to begin with. She and FCG feel a echoed fear, that they are something less than the others around them, an empty shell that can never be filled. Laudna and FCG both come out of this fight seeing themselves as monsters, something others in the group might be better off without.

Ashton’s rage turns to a kind of fear as FCG turns on the group and the group turns on him. Ashton earlier than day showed that in a fit of rage he would destroy what others cherished and act with violent impulse and he keeps coming back to them same idea. Will he be abandoned if he steps too far one day? He too will strike out when pushed to the edge and hurt others on a bad impulse. Ashton begs Fearne to heal FCG to give him another chance. He doesn’t know her rage is more about her own family than FCG himself and is steeped in terror that family and friendship is conditional, something that can be lost based on ones actions.

Like the moon, terrible red storms of rage, fear, and self hatred are brewing in the majority of party members and they must not only uncover what terrible secrets are being held by Ruidus but they must face themselves and learn to truly rely on each other in order to survive what is coming.

#its actually literally been years since i felt this way but i was so possessed by CR i could not do anything except write an essay about it #i anticipate this will be my favorite campaign #it is so emotionally driven which is exactly what i love #i LOVE irrational self destructive character choices #i was obsessed with whatever the fuck ashton was on this episode #this episode was brimming with fury and no place for people to express it which is simply my favorite #with this and fey and flowers i am living my best life #i hope they do a really bad job trying to save the world and they are led astray by their own personal conflicts #i hope cr chat hates it and screams that they are not following the plot hooks #anyway im about to rewatch this episode endlessly for the next week #critical role #cr3 #critical role spoilers #imogen temult #laudna #ashton #fresh cut grass #fcg #fearne calloway

[frozen-fountain]

Whenever you have time, I’d love some dvd style commentary on Spiced Black Tea.

What struck me about it when I read it way back, was the atmosphere. Having done a lot of hiking to small shelters and bothies myself, it was instantly familiar. Thought you captured the cosiness of such places really well, and how they invite confessions/intimacy. Maybe because they’re temporary, liminal spaces, with a certain kind of magic— the things that happen there have a different weight. (Or so I think anyway lol).

Maybe not a snippet exactly, but it was hard to choose a specific section!

Thank you for sending this, my dear! That is absolutely the atmosphere I was trying to go for, and since I don't actually have experience of a hike that takes more than one day yet, I'm really glad I was able to recreate that for Elena and Yuffie on vibe alone.

I ended up just sort of running with this where it took me, and I'm cutting it because it features discussion of attempted sexual assault, the sexualisation of underage girls, and the experience of being on the receiving end of a predatory gaze in general. Nothing graphic but be careful of your limits.

You've very much right that what transpired in that cabin was facilitated by the liminality of the space – temporary passing-through places, the small hours of the morning, the internet, all these ways you can end up feeling a little removed from reality and the allowance this grants for vulnerability that might never express itself in daylight. I think Yuffie and Elena would've gotten there eventually, but the snow definitely helped expedite the process a bit.

What I hadn't quite realised until I received this ask was that the fic was kind of a liminal space for me as well. Sexual violence isn't a topic I handle unless canon necessitates it, simply because I feel like I have very little of import or distinction to say on the matter. But if I was going to write these characters, I needed to address the whole of their stories, and I'm pretty proud of the fact that I managed to turn one of my least favourite scenes in the game into an opportunity to deepen both characters and talk about some real stuff.

Partway through the quest, the FFVII adventuring party is sidelined when Yuffie (who's sixteen) and Elena (who doesn't have a canon age but reads to me as around the same) are kidnapped and threatened with sexual slavery. It's played for laughs and never brought up again afterwards. On the one hand, it's clear in context that neither of them are at any point in any real danger, but on the other... there's more than could have been done here if it had to be included at all. The scene as a whole redeems itself somewhat and works as a fantastic “Hands across the aisle” moments for the protagonists and a squad of secondary antagonists, hinting at a lot of interesting characterisation for the latter – but almost none of that is extended to the girls who are suffering here, and I wasn't about to let that slide. They're both young people with a staunch, black and white view of the world and the conflict they find themselves on opposite sides of – I would've loved to see both of them reconsidering a few things in light of having a terrible experience in common with one of the enemy. In addition, they both hold themselves to very high standards, and very masculine standards at that; it's all about winning, dominating, besting, might making right. There's no way both of them aren't acutely aware that this never would've happened to them if they were boys, and no way it wouldn't haunt them in deep, self-image-shattering ways afterwards.

There's a lot of my experience in there, too, as a queer woman terrified of externalising and perpetuating a gaze that's predatory and invasive, no matter how unfounded that fear might be. I was twelve the first time I noticed an adult man taking notice of me; horrifying enough on its own, but as I grew older and heard more and more harrowing experiences from other women, I learned just how lucky I was to receive nothing more than a look, and to reach such a relatively high age when I did. The idea of having to consider myself fortunate for this is a black mark of shame across the whole world, and on a personal level, it made admitting and embracing my own attraction to women carry a lot of shame and guilt. Again, not as bad as many people from more actively homophobic backgrounds would have it, but enough to weigh on me. Of all the responses I've gotten to my writing over the years, I'm really proud of and touched by the comments from people with some similar personal histories to me and to the girls that said they felt comfortable reading, in the presence of and in a story concerning other women who understand. That's a badge of honour I'll take to the grave.

Somewhat relatedly, but another layer of the fic is its exploration of the hole Yuffie's barely remembered late mother left in her life, and the difficulty she has interfacing with other women because of it. If I recall correctly it's not something any comment I've received has really remarked on but I think I did a good job of weaving that aspect into the subtext, informing the main plot quietly. She's a character who isn't taken seriously or delved into by the fandom at large, at least in my experience, so I like to think I did my small part to contribute to that.

I'll take this opportunity to recommend the fic Scratching the Itch, which is the only one I've found to cover some similar territory. It's not romantic (though it is briefly gay) and it doesn't end with any sort of release or resolution, but it does a remarkable amount with a little.

#hrh-spinach #froze fics

[chronussy-bc]

BLACK CAT - The Mechanical Angel

It’s a game based on Black Cat manga, developed by Capcom. It was released on March 30th, 2006, with two versions that are the limited and regular one.

The PS2 game is categorized into the action-adventure genre. It followed an original plot, different from both that of the manga and the anime. In the game, on their journey to pursue a bounty named "Baronet", Train and his gang arrived at a foreign country where the aftermath of constant war was still clearly manifested. Here they met Rosentor and his daughter Iris, who were being attacked by a mysterious group. As they helped the two strangers escape, they eventually got involved in a much more complicated scheme behind.

There are two playable characters: Train and Eve. The game is divided into chapters, and within each chapter there will be "Free Walk" - part where you go around and inspect the surroundings; "Adventure" - part where you will come across other characters and talk to them, sometimes gaining important clues; "Battle" - Where you fight enemies with your character's abilities by selecting commands.

The content will vary depending on the character you pick. By playing multiple times, you can experience the story through different perspectives.

The game graphic:

Adventure part:

Fight part (Train):

Fight part (Eve):

The characters (The Guardians also appear):

The red head is Iris, the daughter of Rosentor. She has an important role in the game plot. This will be more apparent if you choose Eve as the character.

The plot:

Mr. Rosentor and his daughter were being chased by a group of dangerous people. facing intense succession of attacks, Train and his friends' wondered how to get themselves out of harm's way. It was at that moment that Rinslet, the female thief-for-hire, appeared and offered her help, telling them to come to the hotel where she was staying. She, too, must have come to this country for some reasons.

Rins is not someone who acts without a purpose. That was what Train and the group had in mind. But having no other choices, they still accepted her offer.

After everyone had settled in her room, Rins began to reveal about the trouble simmering in this country and what she was planning to do.

"Schwartz, the dictator of this country, is scheming something terrible," She said grimly. "I'm going to find out what he is up to and stop it."

This is a bad idea. The group thought upon listening to her.

"If we have to face the military, and we most likely will, doesn't that mean...this whole country is against us! This country is ruled by dictatorship and so is its army! They are not just a bunch of thugs. Are you really going to make the army your enemy!?"

Looking at the statue of Schwartz outside, Rinslet replied. "I'd like to take down the target quickly, avoiding a war with the army."

"General Schwartz is secretly developing a new technology to expand his military power. I have information that he is developing weapons using nanomachine technology...and is planning to start a war using soldiers reinforced with new nanomachines."

At the word "nanomachine," Eve's expression hardened. Weapons made with nanomachine technology...soldiers. It was exactly who she used to be. She could not forgive those who abuse it, and would not sit still watching such misdeed being carried out. Deep down. Eve had given her decision. She must stop that horrible ambition before it was too late.

According to Rins, the "Apostles of The Stars" were the ones who provided the technology. However, there was another party involved...

"What will you do if I tell you now..." Rinslet's voice was serious. "That Chronos is also behind this, apart from the Apostles?"

"No way," Train immediately dismissed the possibility, his expression darkened. "Chronos would never sponsor a dictator's game of war."

Before Train could counter any more, saying how her attempt to use him as a bait would be foolish, Rinslet took out a series of photos, spreading them on the table in front of the group.

There they were, in one picrures. Mr.Rosentor and his daughter Iris stood together with another group of people before a place that seemed like a research facility, smiling.

The sweepers had expected that something shady must have happened to the father and daughter, as they were being chased by those agents. But they had not expected that the two would be directly involved in this outrageous scheme.

"Dr. Rosentor, an authority on nanomachines and metallurgical engineering, and his daughter, Iris." Rins's words astounded them all as they gazed at the photos in disbelief.

The frightened-looking man just then was actually a chief professor working for the project studying nanomachine. However, if that was the case, why did they wish to eliminate him, even risking to do it publicly?

"The aim of the research is to fuse Orichalcum with nanomachine." Rins's following words were like a door to another myriad, crazy turns of events. What on earth was going on in this country?

A dark cloud fogged over the hearts of the sweepers. However, they did not have the time to dwell on their thoughts. Suddenly, the hotel's walls shook. Rinslet's expression turned pale. This was one of the most secured place to be in the city, as its guests were VIPs only. It seemed that the enemies were determined to reach them at all costs, even when that meant breaking the principles.

The sound of gunfire rang across the hallway. The presence of the enemies was right at their threshold. Concerned for Rosentor and his daughter, who had been placed in a separate room so that they wouldn't listen to their suspicious conversation, the group had no other choice but jumped into the rain of bullets.

Videos about the full game (I haven't checked if they got Eve's route posted as well, but Train's route is all there): nicovideo

Source where I get the info: Black Cat - The Mechanical Angel

Translated with apps and my efforts to understand the points. Will greatly appreciate if someone can provide a better translation.

#black cat #anime and manga #game #Black Cat game #Chronos #train heartnet #rinslet walker #Eve #Sven volfield #Apostles of The Stars

[sparrow-orion-writes]

Hi dearie! For the space ask game: 🌙 Crescent moon and ☄️ Comet, please

Hiiii! Thank you!

🌙 Crescent moon - Do any of your character have to hide a part of themselves? Why?

Have to? Not...really, or at least it depends on your definition of having to.

Ari and April both went through the sort of childhood where they felt their feelings were not taken seriously, they were generally emotionally (and in april's case, physically) neglected, and that caused them - moving into teenagehood and adulthood - to internalise and hide a lot of their emotions. Furthermore, in both their cases there are often times where they can't discern, notice, or control their feelings in any capacity.

For April this tends to externalise in a very "happy-go-lucky" exterior, which is how he largely presents himself to those around him. He's fun, he drinks, he parties, he blows things up for fun. Except that he's also having numerous breakdowns in between. He doesn't tend to show that because he never untangled the physical and emotional harm caused to him for expressing emotion as a child, largely in the form of being outright ignored and, under some circumstances, left to the edge of starvation and death by his parents.

Ari, on the other hand, tends to externalise and filter all of his emotions through anger. He tends to hide his more anxious, avoidant, and lonely side because he's never been taught that he deserves care and love in any capacity. Instead, he keeps pushing everyone away from him because the only thing he's certain of is that he deserves isolation as penance for what are essentially make-believe crimes. We love some religious guilt.

And don't even get me started on how the only person, at the start of Out of Sight and Mind, who knows Ari is trans, is Ember.

☄️ Comet - Who is your most self destructive character? Why are they like that?

I've answered this one before, but it fits quite nicely after talking about April's past to say, April. Hands down. He's an addict, in the literaly and metaphorical sense. He loves pain. He chases self-destruction, and I think some part of him just continuously relives the trauma of his childhood by doing so. It's such a complex thing that I could write a whole post on by itself really. A lot of April's coping mechanisms come from a very personal place and a very personal expression of childhood trauma.

I'd say Ember is a close runner-up because of the adrenaline junkie thing. He practically uses April as a way to get himself in a fuck ton of terrible situations. In some ways they calm each other down, in others...oh boy.

Then it's probably Ari, but more emotionally self destructive, though he is an alcoholic.

#ask game answers #ask answers #april adams #arizona close #the poison complex characters

[necr0-mantix]

8. what does your muse fear losing the most? 12. does your muse tend to push themselves too hard? 13. how does your muse outwardly express their anger?

8 -- Sanctuary's loss is the one potential that haunts him more than anything. After seeing events that proved his own armageddon prophecy to be set in motion, he became more reclusive than legend stated he was simply out of fear. Any shift to his visions due to meddling could mean anything could change the outcome he saw, and while it is terribly difficult to change fate, it can be done, even by accident.

Trag'oul - before his silence - noted that this could happen, and implored to Rathma that he should have faith, but years of solitary silence only made his dread grow worse, and he became apathetic. While he was never paralyzed by fear - and rarely showed it tangibly towards the end - he barely stepped food back onto Sanctuary towards his death to ensure he would greet it as foretold.

Nothing else mattered to him but maintaining the balance, and securing the future of his children.

12 -- As far back as his nights as Linarian, Rathma was known for being both stubborn and far too invested in whatever it was he had taken interest in. Upon his discovery of death magics, he would remain awake until the bright hours of morning, exhausting himself in a manner that concerned even Lilith.

His fellow Firstborn used to mock him for his strange vigor, and after they discovered death, would mock that he would meet it simply because he just never seemed to take time for himself. His appearance at forums and parties was always a welcomed surprise... after intervention to convince him to relax. (And they would ensure that his time was enjoyable, if only to pull him back above ground more often.)

Even the guardian took note of his excessive obsession with research, and needed to mend his student's ways. One cannot study the balance if they themselves are not.

Despite the snake's best intentions, however, even to this day Rathma slaves tirelessly over his research, using it to distract himself from the future. He is, after-all, only "human" and could not escape slipping back into old habits.

13 -- Rathma is of the blood of hatred, and yet, it is rare to see him truly angry. And even when his rage manifests, years of meditation and numbing has allowed him to harness it for focus, rather than lose himself to it. He would rather simply leave, and then deal with the hassle in a clearer state of mind should it be needed, than actually confront or harm. Curses from the darkness between realms, however? A little balance. As a treat. He isn't entire above being petty and seeking revenge when it makes sense to him.

However... his past is a different story. During the time of the ancients, Linarian was known for his quiet and reclusive nature, so when his voice did raise upon his loss of patience, it shook the others. The commanding presence of Inarius was absolutely within him, and there was a venom from Lilith as well that forced most to listen. He would rarely fight with his kin, but should it come and his emotions were fire, his ferocity was unmatched. It usually took little more than fang and word to cause another nephalem to back down, but should it come to fists or weapon, Linarian would. His lithe stature, however, meant that physical altercations didn't always go in his favour, and he learned quickly that such fighting, no matter how much his blood boiled, wouldn't end well for him always.

Blood has been spilled by him in rage before, but only blood for blood. A partner, a child (even not his own directly) - if any harm came to them, he would retaliate in kind, and it is said these were the only times one could see the sadistic side of demons in his being. 

#. >> ask response #sorry for the wall of text these were great ty ty #sorry but nobody stemming from mephisto is 100% apathetic always he had to have some level of spice in him at some point #also the editor is doing weird things to the formatting on this help