#had to get it off me chesticles

[blonkk]

im gonna rant!!!

i’m so tireeddddd of people projecting their pathetic insecurities onto everyone else (me). like i’m sorry you’re afraid to be alone and you don’t know who you are and you’re insecure and you have no courage. not to be a bitch but seriously. idc anymore maybe i am stuck up maybe i do think i’m better than you!! but coming at me because i refuse to do what everyone else does with such contempt and vigour just exposes you. like i have accepted that in my life i will not experience romantic love. not because it doesn’t exist, it does for some people, but i’m not gonna base my entire life and goals around meeting someone, falling in love, marrying them and having their children. i’d be ready to end my shit right now if those were my goals, being 28 and not even having a boyfriend. that means i’ve already failed at life but i knowwww i’m still a caterpillar. like be serious. sooooo yeah, sorry that in your narrow worldview everyone needs to basically get married and have kids, and there’s “someone out there for you” — what so all women gotta find that person by age 30 or our lives are over?? 😂 you delusional weirdos sound like hardcore christians. like maybe there is someone for me who i’ll meet when i’m 45 or 70! maybe i’ll never meet them! maybe there isn’t anyone because that’s just the way the world is! but i’m selfish because i don’t want to spend my life being miserable because i can’t find love and place all chances of future happiness on this person and the privilege of bearing/raising their kids??!!? so i should just settle for second best — of something i don’t even WANT — because everyone says it’s the point of life?… anyways

i’m just annoyed like i said. i can accept a loveless life, it’s hard but i’m ok lol. yeah it gets sad and lonely sometimes but truth is i have a pretty wonderful life that i’m thankful for, despite sadness, loneliness, grief etc. being in love won’t improve things in any significant way imo. i don’t want to be isolated in a relationship with a man. i don’t want to live with a man. i don’t want to have kids. i like my life; i like my 50 year old snowboard bum roommate, i like my shit car, i like having the ability to do whatever i want. i like bouncing from job to job, despite the financial insecurity and general lack of stability; all my life i’ve wanted to be free and independent, and i finally am — i can take care of myself which is what matters. i love my friends, i love exploring different hobbies and places and careers. i am literally unemployed and haven’t been this happy in a long, long time. i’m so sick of people telling me they “want me to be happy” but ignore me when i say i finally truly am. they just want to shove me in their stifling little box with them for god knows what reason. just because you think your life is perfect doesn’t mean it will be for everyone. idk, things change! maybe i’ll change too! but for now shut the fuck up. go be in your annoying relationship with your insufferable bf/husband and tell everyone how much were missing out on by not being married/having kids. the gals a couple feminist waves back beg to differ along with the steadily rising divorce rates and rapidly declining marriage and birth rates.

you’re the one who’s unhappy. if not, then you simply lack compassion and general respect for others. your worldview is small and you’re ignorant. your life is yours, others have different wants and will follow the path that leads them to those things. we all suffer for our choices — sure, i may wish at times i had a spouse and a house and a mouse. that doesn’t mean it’s what i have always wanted deep deep down. it means it’s normal to wonder what it would be like to have what you don’t and yearn a little sometimes. BUT i’d literally never give up my freedom. i think back to high school often and how restricted i felt; i couldn’t breathe. i flailed in that environment because it was so rigid. i’m never, ever going back to that, ever. i have self respect

#dni #this was a lot my b #had to get it off me chesticles #sometimes i just want to shake people #like girl….congrats you got married….wow…women have been doing that forever lol #do something cool or different #like i’m tired of acting like it’s some big accomplishment to find love #idc #call #me bitter #call me whatever you want #i’m happy for my friends etc when they’re happily ina relationship or get married don’t get me wrong #the line is crossed when they act like it’s the point of life #and project unasked for pity on me #like seriously. you’ve done what women have been forced to do for millennia #…congrats? ig #anyways

[wolfofcelestia]

My strategy for beating Open Orbit 38

From a Zayne main's perspective

🟢🟢🟢🟡

@zaynes-left-chesticle asked for my strat so I'm putting it in its own post in hopes that it will help others stuck on this stage too

1. Setup

First and foremost, I have to say that I fight every battle on an emulator (MuMu) and with a gamepad because it feels a lot more natural to me to game with an actual controller

The repeated taps to attack also just cramp up my thumb, so I map the attack button to repeated clicks. So all I need to do to attack is hold the button down

As for the regular charged attack that procs when you hold the attack button down, I did map it to a different button on the gamepad, but I've found it less effective than the repeated attacks, so I never use it

2. Companions, Cards, and Cores

❄️ Companions

Ok this is where I start being a simp

Because instead of being smart and going with Xavier, I decided to brute force my way through it with the husband because I just felt more comfortable with him

I tried all three outfits with both Zayne and Xavier, and also all weapons on MC, but what ended up working was MC on guns and, of course, the king, Dawnbreaker

But just looking at these cards, I should have had an easier time with Xavier since I was able to boost the protofield buffs higher than my Zayne team. Xavier's team even had a solar pair. Meanwhile, I was rocking that 3* level 30 card with Zayne LMAO

In all honestly, Xavier will probably be the better choice for most people. But if you're stuck in the Zayne swamp like I am, bring out Dawnbreaker and go slaughter your enemies (more on that below)

❄️ Cards

Okay let's start with the elephant in the room: The 3* level 30 card lol

I do have other, stronger green cards than that one, but I really only threw that card in because it was a solar card, which meant that I could satisfy the protofield requirement by having a third green card while also opening up a lunar slot for a stronger stat stick (the red Cozy Afternoon card)

Another important factor in choosing cards is their talents. Despite me only hitting the minimum protofield colours, having cards with attack talents is important if you're underlevelled like I am

5/6 cards in my Zayne team are attack-centric, while Sweet Conspiracy is an HP card

You can check what a card's talent is by clicking the (!) button

I did try with another green card in my team, Dawn's Shadows (lvl 40). But that is a DEF card, so replacing it with an off-coloured ATK card, Cozy Afternoon (lvl 60) helped more than the protofield boost. It being at a higher level helped too

Some cards also have Advanced skills, so you could watch out for those too

❄️ Cores

I've severely neglected my core hunts so I don't have a lot to choose from or exp to level them with, but I recommend equipping any you have with a focus on Attack and Attack Bonus

Even if you don't have cores with an attack boost, equipping anything that will boost your damage is useful

You're mainly fighting against the timer here, so you need as much offensive power as you can get

Here are the ones I had equipped:

3. Strategy

Alright, so now that you your setup and team, let's talk about the strategy

The most important thing is to wipe out the frenzy wanderer ON SIGHT

Nothing else matters, so as soon as that thing pops up, hunt that fucker down

When the fight begins, your partner will target the wanderer on the left first. I decided to target it as well just to make it die faster, but soon, the frenzy wanderer will come in, so don't waste any of your skills on the regular wanderers

The things you are fighting against are the shitty aiming system and the frenzy timer (that starts before you can even target it), so if your aim decides to hit the wanderer on the other side of the field instead of the frenzy wanderer right in front of you, my suggestion is to just restart the fight unless you know you can kill it before the energy dissipates

There are three frenzy wanderers that show up shortly after the regular ones do, so save skills and unload on them. Focus your camera on them, and ideally back them into a corner so that it's the only enemy on your screen. Get right up in their faces so that your aim stays on it and your partner is more likely to target it as well

I was able to gather the frenzy energy from the first two, but when I beat the stage, I'm pretty sure I wasn't able to finish off the third. The first two are definitely the easiest so if you can manage those two, I think you'll be okay

Just be sure that your aim is on the frenzy wanderer because the resonance skill tends to want to aim at the wanderer with the protocore shields

When you've killed the frenzy wanderer and collected its energy, just go with the regular fighting strat:

Save your diamond skills for breaking through the protocore shields, then unleash everything you have when it's weakened

I tend to use the partner support skill (the one that fills his profile pic with yellow) as soon as it's available since it charges up fast enough, but I make sure that skill and every other skill I have (support, ardent oath if it's close to filling, and MC's active skill) is available before I break through the shields

❄️❄️❄️

I think that's everything I have to say about this stage. If you have any questions or want more clarification on anything, feel free to ask

Hope you manage through the awful, awful aiming system here!

#love and deepspace #zayne love and deepspace #elara plays #game info

[pacific-octopus]

Camilla x Reader - Nightmare comfort

A/N: first of all why are there no good gifs of her second of all i used frantic prompts for this which is why its probably gonna be weird third of all i'm so sorry in advance for what I call her boobs later on

NOT PROOFREAD

You swung your blade at the masked enemies who stepped back, one of them touching the wall. “Running away huh?” You said to taunt them before you felt the floor crumble to nothing beneath your feet. You gasped and reached out for something, anything, to hold onto but only grasped the air. You couldn’t see the bottom of the pit you had fallen into. You tried to scream out for help which came out as only a whisper. There was nothing you could do to prevent this but you weren’t ready for the end, still trying to latch onto something, you hit the ground.

You felt a shock pulse through you, looking around, you weren’t where you last were. This was your bedroom. You looked around, seeing everything was completely normal, it must’ve been a dream.

PROMPT: NIGHTMARES

Next to you was your girlfriend, Camilla, who was sleeping soundly, back turned toward you. You hated to bug her in such a peaceful state but you tapped her shoulder, “Psst. Camilla?” You whispered to her. She hummed in response, turning toward you and smiling softly, still looking quite sleepy. 

While you were asleep you had missed that smile, it seemed that you would never see that again only a few minutes prior. Your admiration was cut off by her asking you a question.

“What’s keeping you up, love?” She quizzed, moving her hand to intertwine fingers with yours. “I had a really bad nightmare… I thought I had lost you.” Her smile morphed into a look of worry, “Oh dear! Here, one second darling let me get you something.” She said, getting up from your shared bed and heading towards the castle’s kitchen.

PROMPT: I'LL BE RIGHT BACK

When she returned, she sat on her side of the bed with a cup of water in one hand. Camilla turned her head, light purple hair flowing along with it, “Here, this might help ground you. Now may you tell me what happened?” You yawned and took the glass from her hand, getting up to sit at her side. You sipped the water before explaining to her;

“I was battling with some Hoshidan soldiers, they stepped back after I attacked and pressed something and I felt the floor fall, I suppose it was a trap. But I fell with it, trying to grab something to save me or yell out for help before I eventually hit the ground and woke up.” You finished with another sip of water. Your eyed went from the floor to her, she looked quite upset.

Her warm hand went onto your back and drew soft circles, “Darling I’m sorry you dreamt of that. Once you’re done with that drink could you try to go back to sleep?” You hesitantly nodded and she giggled before saying sweetly, “I’ll make sure to snuggle you all night!” You rolled your eyes jokingly, “I guess that’ll make it a little better!” You both snickered before Camilla brought you into her embrace.

Your arms went around her as she pulled you in closer, though your face was buried in her… chesticles (I’M SO FUCKING SORRY) you felt at peace, she quietly hummed to you while playing with your hair.

PROMPT: SHOWTIME (i didnt follow this one)

#camilla x reader #fire emblem x reader #fire emblem fates #camilla fire emblem #fe fates #fe fates camilla #camilla x reader fire emblem #fire emblem

[jimkirkachu]

FTM / NB advice re: top surgery?

(cw medical stuff, gender stuff, transition-type stuff, binding stuff, anxiety x infinity, lgbtq isolation/confusion)

In T minus 11.25 hours, I'll be having an annual checkup with my doctor and attempting to explain to him that I fully intend to get top surgery as soon as possible because my therapist has okayed it, I actually have the means to pay for it, and no I'm not transitioning but I'm sick to death of having breasts and being immediately assigned Female by all sighted humans because of them.

Has anyone out here had this kind of conversation with a doctor and had absolutely No Idea what their reaction/reception would be? I am, by nature, an extremely shy/nervous/passive person (and my anxieties all peak when I'm in a doctor's office 😒). So between already being afraid of ever "declaring" anything or asserting myself (let alone to a medical professional who also happens to be male) and the fact that I don't have any real sense for how he'll respond... (will he tell me I can't pursue this and make me argue with him about it, aka send my blood pressure off the charts and make me die of anxiety??) — all of it combined has me panicking, now that it's nighttime and my other obligations are over and I'm just trying to calm down and sleep before I have to get up and force some sort of food down so I don't pass out from all the anxiety that's already attached to doctor visits.

[Also is it okay to wear a binder to a standard physical? Will I get in trouble for buying/wearing a binder without ever having consulted him?]

tldr Desperately seeking any nb or ftm who's had chesticles removed, is okay talking about it/giving advice, and [optional] is looking for an anxious mess of a friend to reassure/encourage/intimidate into standing up for myself. 😬😵‍💫😕

#not trek #personal log #gender identity #top surgery #doctors appointment #medical anxiety #non-binary #non binary #nonbinary #chest binding #ftnb #trans ftnb #oooo why do I have to get all fucked up every time I have a doctor visit #I will probably be awake all night so if you have ideas/advice my brain will definitely appreciate it #assertiveness #being assertive #send help #I am a pushover & a scaredy cat & afraid I'll be yelled at for taking up time/space or for trying to tell my dr what I want #even though he's always been very understanding & sensitive & respectful & reasonable 🤦 #why am i like this #nb problems #shy person problems 🤦 #self advocacy #one of my greatest weaknesses #lgbtqia+ #(but no pride here I am too nervous and convinced I'm not Non-Cishet Enough to belong anywhere) #jtkchu is a loser #jtkchu needs a friend 💔 #jtkchu's brain #stfu jtkchu

[thelittlepalmtree]

OKI have 2 thoughts on that gallowaque Before I get to those though Taylor Swift why didn't you come because I wanted to see you?

My 1st thought is that it is very clear to me that celebrities have no idea when the gilded age was because many of them are clearly coming with 1920s inspired looks and the gilded age is like 1880s to 1910s. I can definitely see some twenties some 1830s Some 1930 inspirations even some like 1950s and sixties inspirations buthese inspirations but I am not seeing anything that really smacks of 1890s to me. I'm not seeing a lot of silhouettes that looked like the 1880s and nineties. We've got a few people with a little bit of a bustle in the silhouette but most of them have more of an overall A-line skirt which is not really what I think of when I think gilded era. So I don't know who was involved in this but clearly none of these celebrities understood what the gilded air clothes looked like. Literally all the necklines were incredibly low and you see a lot of skin in the torso area and I feel like what is key in the 1830's looks is that that area is completely covered and is usually like and it's usually like the most busy part of the look. So like in most of the dresses from that era I feel like you have these really ornate bodices and Lacey necklines that are really high up with like necklaces and collars and many layers. And all of these looks from the magala you've got like a bear neck and just chesticles sticking out and very boring looking Bodices. I think a lot of people tried to do kind of a bustle look but they ended up with like this long wedding dress train and that's not really 1890s either. That to me comes off much more modern. There were a few people who were clearly inspired by like what we would call lounge wear of like the beautiful robes and like dressing gowns and I thought some of those looks were cool. A lot of the men absolutely killed it but like always it's easier to do men's fashion. But yeah I love this era in fashion and I didn't see anything the anything that was particularly gilded era.

Which leads me to my next point I can not help but see the irony in the metgala not only choosing this theme but the way that most of these celebrities chose to interpret. Because I have often said and I will say it again that our current era is very similar to Aries similar to the gilded era in American history. This was a time period that was absolutely defined by wealth inequality and our current time period is very heavily defined by wealth inequality. You had really strong social movements that felt like they were stalled By corruption and the power of the wealthy. You had politicians who weren't willing to take the action that was needed to make people's lives better. And you had rising tensions that would eventually become World War I. So the fact that so many of our countries most visibly rich humans decided to not portray this theme as a relic of the past and instead take on these very modern looks kind of reinforces this point. Like what is the magala if not a sort of naval gazing volgazing party for rich people to show off their wealth. It is truly a celebration of wealth at a time when people literally cannot afford to pay rent or The gas to get to work. One of the defining political issues right now is inflation and people not being able to afford groceries and basic necessities. And the metgala chose this theme That we are supposed to see a sort of abstract and historical. But instead it is seeming very modern I mean what is this but a second gilded age? Where we have people literally covering themselves in gold and going to a big really expensive really exclusive party and getting all this press about what they're wearing. Meanwhile everyone watching them is trying to count pennies to see whether or not they can put food on the table. I don't know that the people involved are aware of what part they are playing in this statement because honey you don't come off as good as you think you do. Even a very aware person Who thinks they're in on the joke is not in on the joke if they went to that party. And I think it's funny that you have some of the biggest capitalists like Elon Musk very much going into the theme I mean he looks like he stepped out of an 1880s catalog. To him this is an abstract idea he is trying to put distance between his normal self and the theme of this party. But you see some of the other people around him wearing clothes that you might see them wear on any red carpet. And that to me draws this connection that they are seeing themselves as the elite of a gilded age. They are the Gild on the age. And the rest of us are what's underneath which is the cheap metal that is rusting and Rotting. And because of the Gild on the outside no one is willing to admit the truth.

#met gala

[imeverywoman420]

Gotta get this off my chesticles and only u would understand. I know sex work is exploitation in general but part of the reason OF culture annoys me so much is bc egirls look so massed produced lmao. why does EVERY hobbyist alt p*rnstar look the same and do the same painfully retarded poses!! Even all the wish.com lingerie and accessories are identical. Their aesthetic has become an instantly identifiable meme. Alternative women used to seem to have these fascinating lil artistic interests in preserving an air of surrealism or mystery to their appearance. This is now dead. I know asking ppl to think critically for 5 minutes is asking a lot, but are the braindead, infantile pose trends and hordes of identical looking women competing for the same audience rlly too much to ponder ?? Even dumbasses trying to idfk run away to Beverly Hills and become starlets in the 50s knew they had to have a gimmick or a shtick or a signature look. no genuine eroticism, no sense of art, no authentic aesthetic

Perioddd

[tinyboxxtink]

Build Me Up Buttercup *Part 6*

Okay this may be my favorite chapter so far. Actually screw it, it most DEFINITELY IS. 

NOTE: If you have never heard the song “Sparks Fly” by Taylor Swift, go listen to it NOW. Before you read this. And actually, you know what just listen to it while reading it, trust me.

If you need to catch up:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 7

Tag List: @wanniiieeee

“Uh, watcha doin’ there, detective?”

Sonny’s voice immediately brought you back down to earth. Your head bolted upright and you sprang away from Barba like he was suddenly on fire.

“What? Oh, nothing. What? You know I’m just, tired, you know-- long day,”

Words spilled out of your mouth quicker than you could think of them. God how embarrassing! Why would you even think of making a move on your ADA? In front of everyone?!

Was it a move though? I mean really. Did he have to just call it out like that? You had to get out of that booth.

“Y’know what actually I am going to run to the ladies room, that Hurricane really went right through me! Like a hurricane!” Again, the word vomit would not stop. You let out a pained awkward laugh and bolted from the table.

--

“REALLY, Caris?” Rafael gave Carisi a look that could kill him right there in the booth.

“What? I just---OW! Amanda, that hurt!” Sonny rubbed his thigh and looked at Amanda who was shaking her head.

--

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, you were beating yourself up in the mirror.

“What is WRONG with you?!”

You were yelling at your reflection, totally normal.

“Ugh…” you sighed, splashing water on your face and cupping your hands around your neck. You needed to wash this day OFF already.

Wait...that gave you an idea.

You peeked out of the bathroom to see everyone still at your table, so while they weren’t paying attention you made a mad dash out of the bar and to your car in the parking lot. You popped your trunk and began throwing things around.

“Please please please please…” You begged no one in particular, shoving empty water bottles and coupons onto the pavement.

“A ha! Yes!” you exclaimed in triumph.

You would never admit it, but you basically lived in your car sometimes. You probably had half your closet in here.

You pulled out a pair of hip hugger jeans and a t-shirt; your lucky t-shirt, to be precise.

Yes maybe it was stupid to have “lucky” items at your age, but you didn’t care. You and this t-shirt had been through some STUFF, and came out the other side together. If anything could turn this night around, it could. Sure it was a TAD too tight from so many washes, the writing on it was barely visible, and it may have had a tear or two, but you had altered it to make the damage look fashionable. At least, you thought so.

You knelt behind your car, trying to change discreetly. You kept a careful watch out, God knows the squad did NOT need another case right now. You tossed your blazer and dress shirt back into the trunk, slipped off your skirt and pulled on the jeans and t-shirt as quickly as you could, then you slammed the trunk shut and walked over to the driver’s side view mirror.

“Not bad; not bad at all detective,” you smirked at your reflection before locking your car and running back inside.

As you approached your table, you saw Barba notice you, and then NOTICE, you. His eyes grew and his mouth slightly opened. Okay so maybe sometimes you went a little overboard on trying to look “professional” around your squad-- this was probably the first time you even alluded to having chesticles.

“I’m sorry sweetie have you seen our co-worker?” Amanda asked jokingly.

“What? I needed to get this day off of me, you know?”

“Yes, off indeed,” Oliva raised her eyebrows.

“What is it too much? Should I change back?”

“NO” All three men responded in unison, then quickly looked around elsewhere like nothing happened.

“You’re fine,” Fin assured you.

“Yes you are,” Carisi blurted.

“REALLY Carisi?!” Barba almost slapped him across the table.

“What? I didn’t mean it like--” Sonny protested while pleading with a very offended Amanda. They started having their own little squabble as Barba scooted closer to you.

“You really do look nice,” He smiled.

“...In jeans and a t-shirt? Thanks,” You gave a smile back while you felt your face blushing.

“No, I mean, happier. I like seeing happy on you,” He smiled even more, fidgeting like he wanted to touch you but didn’t want foghorn Sonny going off again.

“OH. Um, yeah thanks. I like seeing you happy too, counselor,”  Your face was a full on skillet, you could fry an egg on them from the heat they radiated. You had to look anywhere else but his eyes or you might do something Carisi would DEFINITELY have something to say about.

“Ooooh! You know what else I do when I wanna get the taste of a bad day out of my mouth?” You changed the subject lightening quick as soon as you saw the stage across the room.

“Shots?” Amanda asked.

“Well, yeah obviously but--”

“AMBER did you hear that? Another round of shots!”

“DANCE,” you completely ignored Amanda’s antics. “I dance it out!” You pointed over to a small band who was testing sound equipment, obviously about to start a show.

“...Is she serious?” Fin muttered to Olivia.

“Is she drunk off ONE Hurricane?” Carisi raised his eyebrow.

“No come on-- Ugh! You guys cannot be that old.” you groaned.

“We might be,” Olivia half laughed.

“Too old to dance?!” You scoffed.

“In a room full of people, to country music? I don’t even have to be old to not wanna do that honey,” Fin put his hands up.

As they were all expressing their objections and insults, a scheme began running through your brain. Your eyes went from the band--- 2 guitarists, a drummer and a girl lead singer-- perfect. Your eyes then turned back towards Barba, who actually hadn’t protested your dance it out idea. PERFECT.

“Well I’m not old yet, I’m gonna dance it out to Tay Tay Swift!” You stuck your tongue out at the group and ran over to the band. The squad exchanged looks of disbelief while they watched you have a conversation with the band, and soon came running back over.

“Alright hey ya’ll we are Cactus Flower, how we feelin tonight?”

Scattered applause and drunken cheers answered her.

“Great...well, for our first song we’ve actually got a request, so this one is for you detective,” she smiled as the music started

It was relatively slow, so a few couples slowly began congregating on the dance floor. Other young girls squealed and formed a dance circle in a corner. Alright, it’s now or never, detective.

You started off dancing by yourself, just vibing to the song. You eyed everyone in your party, daring them to join you.

The way you move is like a full on rainstorm

And I'm a house of cards

You're the kind of reckless

That should send me running

But I kinda know that I won't get far

“Oh come on guys, you’re really gonna make me stand here looking like a moron?”

And you stood there in front of me

Just close enough to touch

Close enough to hope you couldn't see

What I was thinking of

“Baby girl, you're doin that all on your own!” Finn laughed.

You saw the thoughts mulling in Barba’s mind, glancing from you to the group and back to you again. Finally, to your delight, he shook his head and stood up.

Drop everything now

Meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk

Take away the pain

'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile

“You guys are cruel,” He remarked, walking right up to you.

“Can I have this dance?”

PERFECT.

He took your hand and spun you, you clumsily fell into his chest and looked into his eyes with a smile JUST as the song hit your target.

You glanced over to see the squad’s collective jaws on the floor.

Get me with those green eyes

Baby, as the lights go down

Give me something that'll haunt me

When you're not around

'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile

“....You know, my eyes are green.” he raised an eyebrow.

“Really? Huh. Go figure,” you batted your eyes innocently.

You were downright shocked that Rafael had not run screaming from the very obvious message of the song, and even more shocked the squad was allowing it. But you were not tempting anybody or anything by questioning it; you were just going to enjoy this dance, this moment.

My mind forgets to remind me

You're a bad idea

You touch me once and it's really something

You find I'm even better than you imagined I would be

I'm on my guard for the rest of the world

But with you I know it's no good

And I could wait patiently but

I really wish you would

You both continued to dance in silence, Rafael now listening very intently to every word of the song, and grinning more and more as it went on.

Drop everything now

Meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk

Take away the pain

'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile

Rafael spun you around in a big dramatic flourish, as he commented “I do have a gorgeous smile, don’t I?”

Get me with those green eyes

Baby, as the lights go down

Give me something that'll haunt me

When you're not around

'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile

“What? Hm? Can’t hear you,” You pretended you were too far away, then smirked when you twirled back into his torso.

“Mmmhmm,”

The song reached it’s interlude, the beat banging every word emphatically. Rafael pulled your arms up around his neck, just as the last chorus went into the soft breakdown.

I run my fingers through your hair

And watch the lights go wild

Just keep on keeping your eyes on me

It's just wrong enough to make it feel right

And lead me up the staircase

Won't you whisper soft and slow?

I'm captivated by you, baby, like a firework show

You looked into those green eyes, your head swimming. 24 hours ago this man was just your co-worker, a coffee snob ADA. And now, you were both in each other’s arms and staring at each other’s lips-- you closed your eyes as the song played.

Drop everything now

Meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk

“I um, I’m really sorry Y/N. I um...I need to go. To the...bathroom. I’m sorry just...I’m sorry,”

Take away the pain

'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile….

You watch Rafael practically bolt off the dance floor and into the men’s room as you stood there alone while the song finished.

Get me with those green eyes

Baby, as the lights go down

Give me something that'll haunt me

When you're not around

'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile

What had just happened?

#rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba imagine #build me up buttercup #raul esparza

[thatsaweirdwaytospellundead]

Performance at an Undesired Venue /3

Summary: Citron is invited to take part in a special Kakushi Arts Festival for the new year and he ends up dragging the director along too. However the two notice something is a little off when they arrive at the venue…..

This is part 3 of ‘Performance at an Undesired Venue’, read part 1 here!

Izumi 

(I finally made it to my seat but... Huh, somehow I feel like this whole venue is fired up about something...)

Citron 

DIRECTOR! SOS, HELP ME ~!

Izumi 

Huh, Citron!? What is it?

Citron 

This festival isn’t the Kakushi Arts Festival at all... It’s a Muscle Festival!

Izumi 

A WHAT!? MUSCLE FESTIVAL!?

Citron 

I was right when I thought it was strange that all of the participants were guys that looked like Tasuku. This is totally some sort of body building tournament. 

Izumi 

WHAT!? This is totally not the Kakushi Arts Festival....

Citron 

But I already put my name down to enter... I’m not muscular at all, there’s no way I could....

Izumi 

Citron...

Announcer 

Attention, attention, is Citron here? Contestant Citron, please come back stage for the Body Building Tourmament. 

Citron 

DIRECTOR, HELP ME! I’M GONNA GET CLOWNED IF I GO~!

Izumi 

No, you won’t!

Citron 

I-I... I don’t wanna goooo.....

Izumi 

Y-Yeah.... Wait, I got it!

Hey Citron, I think I got an idea. But first, how about you go ahead and go back stage.

(This was the only thing I could think of in the moment.... Somehow I think this will help Citron get through this mess.)

Announcer 

And now, let’s start the local Body Building Tournament!

Audience 

WOW!

Audience Member A 

NICE! SO BUFF! NICE MUSCLES!

Audience Member B 

THOSE BICEPS! BIGGER THAN MOUNT EVEREST!

Audience C 

AND THOSE SHOULDER MUSCLES! WOW THOSE ABS!

Audience D 

LOOK AT THEM CHESTICLES!!! MEGA SWOOLLE!!

Izumi 

(O-Oh my god...! Are people always this loud at body building tournaments!?)

Committee Chairman 

And next we have contestant number five! Please welcome, Citron!

Citron 

.....

Izumi 

(Will this really work...)

Audience A 

What? He drew on his stomach with marker?

Citron 

WOOOO!

Audience B 

W-WOW... WHAT A SMILE! NICE! HAPPY BOY!

Citron 

WOOO!! WOOO!!

Audience C 

HIS ABS ARE SMILING TOO!

Izumi 

(Everyone is laughing along! What a relief!)

Audience D 

HIS ABS AND FACE HAVE SUCH A BIG SMILE! HOW NICE!

Izumi 

(Y-Yeah, ok I’m gonna try shouting too-!)

H-HEY COULD YOU CARRY BOWLS OF CURRY ON THEM SHOULDERS??

Audience 

Ahahaha!

Izumi 

Ahh...

Announcer 

Thank you so much, Citron! Now onto the next contestant!

Izumi 

(We made the whole venue laugh... Nice.)

Citron 

I had no idea we would get a special judges award!

Izumi 

You were the one who got the most reaction from the audience, they all seemed to love your performance!

Citron 

And it was all because director came up with the idea to draw a smiling face on my stomach!

Izumi 

Well I thought it would be a bit too difficult if you just went up there without anything to show, so I thought I could give you just a little something to help you out.

... Actually I was just trying to capture your bright and dazzling smile in the face.

Citron 

Oh, so you mean you drew the face to look like me!? I didn’t even notice at all!

Director was thinking of me the whole time.... I’m so happy!

Option

I’m happy I could help

Did it not look like you?

Izumi 

Option: Although I am still not sure how much I did, I’m happy I could help.

Citron 

Of course you helped! It was your idea that saved me!

Izumi 

No no, I think it was your smile that saved the day, once again!

Citron 

Oh, do you think?

So then today you helped me and I helped you, we were brutally helpful!

Izumi  

Umm, you mean, ‘mutually’ helpful, right?

Citron 

Yeah, that! I will continue to smile lots and lots and keep helping you, director!

END OPTION

Izumi 

Option: Ahaha, guess it didn’t really look like you.

Citron 

No, it’s not that at all! You drew it on my stomach so I just couldn’t see it properly, that’s all... I am positive you made it look like me, totally! Wait, lemme take a look right now!

Izumi 

H-Hey wait, Citron, we’re in public! Don’t just strip-- Stop!

END OPTION

Izumi 

Ahh, anyway, how about we head back and I can make you some curry for your hard work today?

Citron 

Curry.... On my shoulders...... Actually I’m having war flashbacks from earlier today, please not that...

Izumi 

U-Uh... Oh yea I did shout that... U-Uhh, wow that was pretty cringy now that I think about it.

Citron 

Actually, it was a pretty iconic line. I think it could be quite the punchline for a comedian hmmmm....

Izumi 

No, wait what do you mean!?

Citron 

I... I must t ell that line to everyone! Let’s hurry back, director!

Izumi 

Hey, don’t you dare go around repeating that to people!

END STORY

#a3 #a3! translation #エースリー #s:vivid parasol dance #a3:citron

[currently-questioning]

Am I faking my gender identity crisis?

So I'm currently questioning my gender identity (what else is new?)

And I'm really worried that I'm faking possibly being under the trans umbrella since I haven't had the time to process a lot of things that have happened in my life until quarantine, and a lot of the stories I hear are of trans people knowing from a really young age and that uncomfortable feeling with their assigned gender never really going away.

It's really confusing since there's the possibility of me unconsciously "hoping on a trend" since the questions only popped up once I started binging LGBTQ+ content on YouTube. Or it could be body dysmorphia because there are days when I'd rather not have these chesticles to the point of being depressed about their existence. Or it could be gender incongruence showing up later on in my life because hormones are a crazy thing and I actually don't feel comfortable as a woman....but even typing that makes me feel weird.

Idk. A bitch is worried. I don't wanna downplay trans people's experiences and hardships by saying "oh I have this slightly similar experience, I MUST be trans" without proper evaluation and introspection, because that's wrong and invalidating and just plain rude imo.

But I also don't want to write off my experiences as if I'm not going through them, as if they aren't real, as if I didn't genuinely struggle with myself for more than two months, and am now confused since the feeling has returned but not to the point of crippling me like before.

Long story short, I should probably get to a therapist. But in the meantime, I honestly don't know if I should explore possibly being non binary, genderfluid, a trans man, or if I should just shut up because "you're not trans, Nessa, you're just a hormonal, confused teenager."

#currently questioning #lgbtq #trans #I'm deeply worried and confused #nonbinary #gender identity #it's confusing #advice would be appreciated

[dollsonmain]

Ok. I put some pants on Ichi. He’s wearing some Obitsu F cargo pants. They don’t close in the front, but there’s a belt to keep them on and his shirt is long, so it’s hidden. I need to finish making his shirt.

Looked through the Orbyrarium and Unoa Freak and don’t like any of the patterns. Oh well. I didn’t want to sew anyway.

So I went digging through my stash to see what I have. There are now 4 dolls in that size in my collection (once Lusis arrives anyway... make that 5 but one is a boy) which are pairs, that need clothes (the bots don’t need clothes) and I kind of like to matchy matchy similar dolls. They’re the MiniMees and the Unoa Quluts.

I have a few fancier outfits. I did finally get tired of MIniMee in the Halloween dress. She’s naked, now. But I could strip down everyone and rearrange what they’re wearing. Fancy outfits really aren’t me and I don’t particularly like them on my MiniMees, either. But I don’t have much clothing in this size.

If I put one of the Unoa on the small bust, they could wear one of these. Giselle has the skirt that goes with the white outfit and I would need to find her something else to wear. I’m leaning toward keeping both on the large bust, though. I like chesticles.

I have two fiber wigs in this size. One is on MiniMee because it’s the closest I have to my IRL hair. It’s not close at all, though, more like how I had my hair in high school. The blonde one is pretty but no one wears it because I still have an aversion to blonde dolls and Giselle and Dahlia are already blonde.

Speaking of blonde dolls, #12 fell over in the AG display and managed to get wedged between the jukebox and the couch, laying on the little table I made but didn’t break the table nor knock anything off of it.

Weird.

I have two fur wigs that I’m not terribly fond of (I made them, I can say that). There’s also the pink/yellow one that Wilco doll is wearing.

I have two mohair wigs which are nothing at all alike. One is fluffy and the other I had straightened and dyed ORANGE with kool-aid like... a decade ago. Still looks great.

There are two short fiber wigs in SDC size. I’m honestly not a huge fan of Volks wigs. Giselle’s is so thin you can see the wefts and these two are ok but the cap border is so thick that the hair sticks out all funny.

I matchy set of shoes. These will likely go on the MiniMee if I can get them some casual clothes that I like. While I’ve never worn that style of shoe, it’s close enough to what I do usually wear.

And two pair of matchy matchy hats. I crocheted the bottom ones and @tininkstudio made the fabric ones. These look really good on the SDC wigs.

So. I have some options but none that I’m particularly into, and some decisions to make. (please forgive my stained up pants I wear these to do gross work outside and that deck oil never came out)

Oh, as for eyes, I have two pair of glass eyes in that size. One lime green (Alyssa has them) and one holy fuck red. I’m not trying to make christmas twins, here.

#tiffypostedthis

[ebhenah]

KLANCE: snippet of random thoughts to fight writer’s block....

Pidge’s 21st birthday ends with her, Hunk, Lance and Keith sitting around on a hotel room floor sharing a bottle of champagne and talking. Keith and Lance have been a couple for years now and old arguments have faded into gentle teasing. The four have been friends so long and been through so much together that there are few secrets left, but they always manage to dredge up one of two on nights of drunken reminiscence like this. Tonight, it had been the revelation that of all of them, Hunk had been the youngest to have sex for the first time, and that Shiro (who is not even present) was the eldest. That led to a discussion about fixing perpetually single Shiro up with someone. Pidge pulls out her phone and passes the bottle to Lance. “I’ve been putting some thought into this,” she explains, “based on comments by Matt, my own observations, and a deep dive into Shiro’s dating history- I have complied...no...compleed? No. COM-PILE-ED this list. Input?”

Hunk leans over her shoulder, “ooooh- the second guy looks promising! He runs a pet store! How cute is that!?!?”

Keith glances over and shakes his head, “nope.”

Lance finishes his swig and hands off the bottle, “Keith IS the resident Shiro expert.”

Pidge sighs, conceding to his point and turns the phone fully to Keith, “anybody on this list look good?”

Keith hums to himself as he scrolls, “nope. Sorry. None of them are his type.”

“Ugh. Fine. Moving on... okay.. umm... Weirdest non-sexual, LEGAL thing your parents ever walked in on you doing... and go!”

“Using medical tape to make my sister’s wedding dress fit better in the... uhhh... chesticle area,” Lance says immediately and everyone just looks at him.

“Pretty sure it doesn’t top... whatever the hell THAT was...” Hunk shakes his head, “but probably making a coconut bra.”

“Why does everyone’s answer have to do with boobs?” Pidge muses, “mine is stuffing my bra for Halloween.”

“Well, I don’t remember anything like that from when I was a kid, so I guess... trying to hijack the blades comms system so I could have a private conversation with my boyfriend? They thought they were being hacked.”

Lance doubles over in laughter, “I remember that! Krolia just.... hung around the whole time we were talking. That was... awkward.”

“IS that legal, though?” ponders Hunk. “The Blades were like 100% illegal as far as the Empire was concerned, right? So, like anything to do with them would be illegal, too.”

“Then, can I count Shiro and Adam? They weren’t my parents, but they acted like they were half the time...”

“Sure- you can count Space Dad,” Pidge laughs, “I mean, we call him Space Dad for fuck’s sake.”

“Then it’s selling condoms out of my locker.”

“WHAT?!?” they chorus.

“Babe... I love you and all.... but... holy crow... what the hell??”

“I needed cash,” Keith answers with a shrug, “and they had this like FISHBOWL of condoms in their bathroom and every time I was over one of them would be like ‘you know we never count those... we have no idea how many are in there’- like they were trying to be the cool moms or something. So, this one time, I grabbed like... I dunno, a couple dozen and then I sold them at school for like five bucks for two. Easy money.”

“Jesus- I wonder what the hell they thought you needed that many condoms for!” Hunk shakes his head, laughing softly.

“They thought I was selling them out of my locker. Which I was. And then they caught me red handed selling them out of my locker. But they couldn’t get mad at me about it, really, because... you know... I was making it easier for my classmates to get condoms... they were very pro-condoms.”

“What did you need cash for?” Pidge grabs the bottle back.

“I have no idea now. Clothes? Food? Movies? It felt important at the time.”

“Well, Iiiiii had no idea my man was so enterprising in school,” Lance coos, curling into Keith’s side. Keith drapes his arm around Lance’s shoulder and kisses the top of his head.

“Oh! I’ve got one! Most awkward crush!” Hunk grins. “I’ll start- my older sister’s boyfriend. He was a life guard and I wasn’t out yet.”

“My best friend in sixth grade. They were sooooo cute,” moans Pidge, “oh my crow, I was a tongue tied mess!”

“You,” Lance answers, tipping his head up to kiss Keith’s cheek. “The whole rivalry thing was... yikes.”

“Can I skip this one?”

“Sure,” laughs Hunk, “it’s pretty obvious anyway. It was Lance.”

“No way- definitely Shiro,” counters Pidge. “That’s way more awkward than Lance! If it was Lance he’d just say so... right?”

“I never had a crush on Shiro,” Keith insists.

“Babe- it’s sweet that you say that to protect my pride and all, but... I mean... come on...”

“I’m serious,” Keith laughs, “I’ve never had a crush on Shiro. He’s not my type! Too...uh... SHIRO-ISH- that’s not a word, but you know- he’s too much of a Space Dad.”

“Even before? I mean, I hear these stories about you guys before Kerderos, and he seems pretty different...”

“Kerderos? Lance, my man, you are drunnnnk.”

“We’re ALL drunk, Hunky.”

“Before Kerberos he was... too ‘cool mom’... and too serious about school and shit... and sure, he’s handsome, but... meh...”

“Did you just ‘meh’ SHIRO THE HERO?” Pidge laughs so hard she falls over.

“Then who was it?” Hunk asks, “s’pretty clear we don’t really care- was years ago, right?”

“Fine,” Keith sighs, “it was Adam... and it was mortifying.”

“Adam? Like ‘Shiro and Adam’? THAT Adam?? BABE!”

Keith nods, “there. I answered. Moving on.”

“Waaaaait,” Pidge leans over, studying Keith’s face, “is that why you rejected my whole entire list? Because YOU didn’t think any of them were hot?”

He nods again, “we have the same taste. He used to try to play match maker for me. It was... weird.”

“Alright! In THAT case... here,” Pidge thrusts her phone out again, “this is my database- parse it down to acceptable options and we’ll try again.”

“You have a database?” Keith blinks blearily at her, “this is color-coded! How much time have you put into this??”

“I can’t believe my boyfriend had a crush on Shiro’s boyfriend,” Lance mutters to Hunk, “I think that means he wins for most awkward crush, right?”

“Yeah, buddy, I think so,” Hunk nods, “unless... you know... it works both ways...”

“Huh?”

“The same taste thing...”

“Hey Hunk,” Keith interrupts, “pass over the booze, I gotta pick out a dating list I guess!”

Things shift gears as they sift through the disturbingly detailed bios that Pidge has put together in a file entitled ‘Mission: GSMO’ (Get Shiro Married Off). Eventually, they have it narrowed down to five guys, and Pidge kicks everyone out so she can crash.

It’s not until later, when Keith is snoring beside him and Lance is about to pass out himself that Hunk’s comment comes back to him  ‘unless it works both ways...’ He snorts to himself and smiles, then bolts upright in bed, sending his head into Olympic-Ice-Dancing levels of spins. “Keith! Keith! You and Shiro have the same taste! And you’re with ME! Oh my GOD! Does Shiro think I’m hot??? Keith! Keith! KEEEEEEEITH!!!” But, it’s no use, Keith is out like a light, and when Lance pries himself back to the waking world in the morning, he can’t remember anything that happened after they left the bar.

#Klance #keith #lance #pidge #hunk #this is just random stream of consciousness silliness #I have writer's block and deadlines #nonsense helps

[awkwarddystopianwarlord]

Milk Wagons

When I was about twelve, I layered my three bras atop each other to make my chest look fuller. Having large, lady lumps upon the torso was considered a staple of being pretty and attractive and I wanted to be seen as that by, well, anybody at that point because I was shy and even a second of good attention was holy to me. This plan backfired in the sense that I ended up wishing for something that my adult self wants to be rid of. But at the time, I was happy faking it. Around that time, when my girls enlarged, I already felt some regret thanks to dance classes. I needed support, an extra layer of unpadded, form fitting sports bra to hold the bounce at bay.

When I was in highschool, this one girl pulled my tank top up on more than one occasion because my cleavage was showing. One boy pointed out how he could really see my chesticles through the keyhole neckline of my shirt. I hardly wore an actual bra because I generally had dance classes after school and would have to change quickly, but even with a sports bra smooshing my external organ spheres down, they still made themselves known.

The only time people didn’t and still don’t realize the true size of my ouch bouncers is due to me wearing oversized clothing. My baby-beverage holders can’t be pronounced that way, but then I need to dress in layers, which gets awfully hot in the summer months. Last summer there was a heatwave. The worst in my part of Canada to date. Big chest flops are a grievance to have when it’s hot. Gods, was the sweat underneath those swing weights unbearable. I had to try and keep them lifted or lay on my back so they flattened just to ease the flood that was assaulting the area beneath them.

Seeing myself in pictures, I always think I’m overweight. However, with a looser fitting shirt, it makes my body look wider since it drapes off my fat-n-nerve containers and that’s the part furthest out from my torso. Even in more fitted clothing I just look so heavy on my upper half because of the amount of space my squish nuggets take up. It really takes away from the rest of one’s figure when they have large blubber bags. I didn’t even know if my waist was small or not because I couldn’t really see it. I’m constantly disappointed in my body and appearance due to one specific area. My tops always look unflattering on me in my eyes, I look bulky in dresses, showing my shoulders and upper arms is something I try to avoid as much as I can. Not to mention I’m constantly afraid of having my dairy nibblers present in case that’s all someone looks at me for.

My back always hurts, these things are heavy. I think a lot of people don’t truly realize the weight of these chest orbs especially when someone has a small band size and a large cup size. I’m a small person in a sense. I’m short. My bones aren’t slight or willowy but I am little in terms of vertical surface area. So, having a DDD cup size for a 32” band size is a lot for a person’s back. In fact, my lower back often seizes up, my shoulders are always sore, my neck constantly feels stiff. Whenever I do anything remotely physical, I get out of breath in mere moments and it’s most likely due to me not being able to use my diaphragm to its full extent. This is something I just found out and it makes a ton of sense when you take into account that I have taken dance for twenty years now and should have the stamina of a god.

This is an odd post, I know, but I want people to recognize that there are a lot of humans with hefty mush bags that deal with that feature being grossly sexualized, having our pain and discomfort be written off as us being dramatic, feeling uncomfortable in our bodies as our bust is disproportionate to the rest of us. And to top things off, bras increase in price the bigger the size you need and sometimes your size is damn near impossible to find because of the band-cup ratio, so these abdomen weights are expensive as well. I want those of you blessed without the burdened sensation of two small cats resting upon your chest whilst you try to live your life to keep in mind that for the rest of us, it ain’t easy to live like this. Our spines need to find religion, our bras need therapy, and our minds need to find peace rather than war with our physicality. We have a lot to deal with just related to literal, surface level, bodily issues let alone everything else. So if one of us busty beings ever seem grumpy or annoyed or achy, don’t let your head go to “menstrual cycle” first because it’s probably the milk wagons.

#blog #weeklyblog #struggles #friday post #writing

[blueboltkatana]

I posted 7,509 times in 2021

130 posts created (2%)

7379 posts reblogged (98%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 56.8 posts.

I added 136 tags in 2021

#personal - 46 posts

#shitpost - 26 posts

#jackie talks - 12 posts

#jjk - 10 posts

#jujutsu kaisen - 9 posts

#nanami kento - 7 posts

#illumi zoldyck - 7 posts

#omfg - 7 posts

#stop asian hate - 6 posts

#jujutsu kaisen spoilers - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#it's also the fact that this girl that i trust enough to ask about this is older than me and i've had kind of a crush on her for some time

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

The hunter that killed Bambis mom had a good reason too a deer once fucked his dad

1179 notes • Posted 2021-05-28 23:15:57 GMT

#4

Put "stop asian hate" back on trending or so help me

927 notes • Posted 2021-06-05 16:25:57 GMT

#3

Ohhkayyy something interesting i noticed in these 2 first episodes of tfatws is that Sam and Bucky mirror each other perfectly in the two different episodes.

In episode 1 Sam fights his sister over giving up their parents boat. Their parents legacy. He tells her that it's *his* boat too. That he can make it work, he can fix this situation without having to let go of the past. Meanwhile she tells him she's tired, she went through a lot during the blip. She raised 2 children alone and she was struggling really bad and the government wasn't helping at all. Even when he tried to use his status as a hero they're not treated any better and in the end the Shield is given to Walker and it's the final Wake Up call for sam to realise that the world is not the same and he needs to adapt to this new America.

Then in episode 2 Bucky fights with Sam over giving up the shield. Steve's legacy. He says that Steve's decision to give the shield to Sam affects *him* too. He asks Sam to help him take it from Walker with force, just so he doesn't have to give up on the past. He ignores Sams hurting, projecting his feelings onto him as if it's Sam's responsibility to fix his insecurities. Bucky acts with Sam similarly to how Sam acted with his sister and it comes from an ignorance of the situation they're in.

Bucky doesn't recognize the nuances of racism Sam is being subjected to every single day and Sam didn't at first understand how bad the situation was when he was trying to get his sister to keep the boat. Bucky's ignorance comes from having been suddenly thrown into the modern era and Sam's comes from being gone during the blip.

At the end of each episode they both open their eyes to reality though. Sam realizes just how shitty the situation is for his sister and Bucky realizes he hurt Sam and sees that there's a lot going on in this new America he is now living in.

And i find that fascinating. That they are perfect mirrors of each other and their individual growth is going to be depending on each others as well.

I also like to see Bucky and Sam as the 2 sides of "good people". Bucky is the good person that has done wrong (or feel that they have done wrong) in his life. And is trying to atone and fix himself. His arc is going to be about inner change. Meanwhile Sam is the good person who has been wronged by society and the world. And is trying to find justice and equality. His arc is going to be about"the world" changing for him, to actually make space for and accommodate him fairly.

So yeah these are some thots™ i had after thinking about this show all day lol

495 notes • Posted 2021-03-28 01:06:41 GMT

#2

Reasons why Sk8 the infinity dub is better than every other anime:

-"everyone knows hot springs are a Boomer Thang™"

-"Hello." "Ur too close"

-*deep voice* "don't worry bae I'll protect you"

-"push me"

-"what's with the parasol?" "Precious doesn't wanna get a tan, he's delicate" "where are your clothes bro?" "He's showing off his chesticles for locals in heat, such a thirsty gorilla"

-"hey girl are you hungry?"

-"vacay all day" *wink*

-"oh for the love of- and you brought the kids..."

-"YOURE A CAT!"

-"ohh my Gad Langaa"

-"HEY BITCHES, BROS AND NONBINARY HOES!"

-"we're watching the same video sweetie"

-*dude in the crowd* "I'M FALLING FOR YOU DADDY!"

-*another dude in the crowd* "IT'S JOE AND HIS ABS!"

-*2 dudes in the background* "Joe's totally gonna win!" "It's cause of his Abs right?"

And there's still 3 more episodes that aren't dubbed yet. I fucking quote this show DAILY! suggest others if you think of anything else i might have forgotten cuz I'm making a part 2 for sure.

479 notes • Posted 2021-04-10 23:25:04 GMT

#1

Illumi: Killu sit down we need to talk!

Killua: What is it?

Illumi: I need to talk to you about your relationship with that Gon boy

Killua: What the fuck is your problem? He’s just my friend!

Illumi: OH OF COURSE, JUST YOUR FRIEND! That’s how these things always start Killua! First he’s just your friend, then you start to think he’s really interesting! You start to be curious about how his mind works, and the more you find out the more curious you get. Then he invites you to a night out, and you accept because “Why not?! You work together anyway!” and he takes you out for ice cream! And the ice cream is very mediocre but he’s laughing while telling you how much he loves ice cream and his eyes shine like molten gold when he looks at you so you don’t mind. And you have a genuinely good time and so does he, so you invite him for drinks the next time and he claims he can out drink you but you tell him you’ve been trained to not be affected by poisons or alcohol but he insists and the next thing you know is you’re waking up next to him in a hotel room and you had the best night of your life and you want to tell him he is more to you than just a friend but you can’t because mom and dad would be so disappointed and you’ve already broken so many unspoken and spoken rules but all you can think about is him and you don’t want what you have to end and you think “hey, maybe mom and dad aren’t always right?” and “maybe i want more from my life than to just kill people” and all that is left is an assassin who can’t do his job properly! Do you understand now?!!

Killua: i’m having some suspicion that this whole convo is not entirely about me

376 notes • Posted 2021-04-26 23:07:05 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #this cant be happening #The deer fucking post cannot be my number one post of the year #There must have been a mistake your honour #Why is it going backwards

[prettycurvey]

1-100 I want to know everything. Get me moist.

1. What tends to feel better for you, sex or masturbation? Sex, that can include some masturbation. 2. Your 5 favorite spots to be stimulated. Clit, nipples, back of neck, inner thighs and anus. 3. Have you ever had your prostate stimulated? Erm...I have a vagina 😂4. Have you ever had an orgasm from anywhere other than your genitals? Through nipples. 5. Do you prefer clitoral or vaginal stimulation? Clitoral 6. Can you touch your clitoris directly, or does that hurt? Directly 7. Are you well-acquainted with your G-spot? I am indeed. 8. Are handjobs boring, or underrated? Underrated. 9. Do you like having your balls touched? Can’t say I have any 😂10. Do you like having your nipples touched? Yes!!! Praise the nipples. 11. Do you like having your anus touched? Most definitely. 12. Have you ever been fisted (anally or vaginally)? Almost! Vaginally not anally. 13. Do you like mild roughness (scratching, spanking, hair-pulling, etc.)? Mild? More the better! 14. Do you have any kinks? My whole life is a kink 😂 BDSM is my main, I love being dominated. 15. Are you into anything under the BDSM umbrella? Bondage, submission. 16. Do you pee in the shower? I think everybody does? 🙈😂17. Do you ever masturbate in the shower? Very often. 18. Have you had sex in the shower? Nope. 19. Do you like being naked? Not by choice. 20. Do you sleep partially/fully naked? Partially, sometimes fully. 21. Have you ever skinny dipped? Nope. 22. What’s the most unusual thing you’ve done nude? Cooked a bacon sandwich 🥪 23. Have you ever to a nude beach, naked party, or other situation involving casual nudity? Nope. 24. Are you comfortable being seen partially/fully naked by family or friends (i.e. getting dressed, etc.)? Nope. 25. Are you comfortable with partners seeing you nude in non-sexual contexts? If I’m used to them I don’t mind. 26. Have you ever showered with someone (non-sexually)? Nope. 27. Do you care if a partner sees you going to the bathroom? Nope I don’t mind. 28. Do you have naked pictures/videos of yourself? If yes, have you sent them to anyone? Are they online? Only to my partner, they aren’t online. 29. How many sexual partners have you had? 2 for full intercourse, 5 including other sexual contexts. 30. How often do you masturbate? Quite a lot! Nearly everyday. 31. Age you started masturbating? How did you discover/learn about it? I honestly can’t remember, I don’t remember really being into it until I was around 15-16. 32. What position do you typically masturbate in (laying on back, on stomach, sitting up, etc.)? Laying on back or partially sitting up. 33. Describe your masturbation routine, technique, etc. Get the job done is my motto 😂 fingers or stimulation from a toy. 34. What do you masturbate to (porn, smut, imagination, etc.)? Porn or imagination. 35. Have you ever masturbated to the point you got sore? Many times! 36. Your thoughts the first time you got up close and personal with the opposite set of genitals? What the fuck is that! Joke, I was surprised when he came! It took me by surprise and I ran to the other side of the room 😂 37. Have you ever “compared” (genitals, breasts, whatever) with a friend? Nope. We just both say we have Big Macs. 38. What kind of underwear do you normally wear? Normally French undies. 39. Do you ever go commando? Depends on the weather. 40. Have you ever had a wet dream/orgasmed in your sleep? Many times! 41. How big is your penis? Erm...bigger than most ;-) I have a vagina! 😂 42. Does your penis curve at all? Yeah all the way round like ring. 43. Which testicle hangs lower? My chesticles? 😂44. How big are your breasts? 42D45. Do you long or short labia? Are they even or uneven? Fairly long but not too long and even. 46. Do you have a particularly large or tiny clitoris? It’s perfect size for my vagina. 47. Are you circumcised or no? Are you happy with it? Holy shit! If I was I’d be worried. 48. Are you turned on or off by foreskin, or don’t care? Couldn’t care less. 49. What are you more into (or like more about yourself), boobs or butts? My boobs, I hate my butt 😫50. Do you find genitals physically attractive, or weird/gross, or not feel strongly either way? I think they’re all weird! 51. Do you like the way your genitals look? I don’t like the look of them so nope! 52. Would you be able to pick out your genitals from a lineup? Nope, probably better playing spot the difference. 53. Do you like your butt? Hate it. I could do with toning. 54. What do you do with your pubic hair (shave, trim, wax, nothing, etc.)? Use hair removal cream all over or shave all over. 55. Do you care/have a preference what partners do with their pubic hair? As long as I can’t gag on it I don’t mind. 56. Do you tuck your penis a certain way (i.e. left or right) when you get dressed? I put it in the invisible pants. 57. Do you have or want any genital piercings? Do you like any on other people? I don’t, I wouldn’t mind any other person having it, doesn’t influence me. 58. What is the quickest you’ve ever brought yourself (or been brought) to orgasm? Myself - 1 minute (probably less) been bought to - 3 minutes. 59. Do you ever “edge” (repeatedly stop and start) when masturbating? I have done, more intense. 60. What’s the longest masturbation session you’ve had? Longest sex session? Longest masturbation was - 2 hours. Longest sex session around 4.5 hours. 61. What’s the most orgasms you’ve had in one session (of anything)? 7 lucky 7. 62. Do your orgasms tend to be full-body, or crotch-centric? Majority are full body. 63. Spit or swallow? Swallow, it’s rude to spit. 64. When you ejaculate, do you more shoot or dribble? Depends if I’ve edged. 65. Is it hot or gross to get ejaculated on? Hot!!!! 66. Do you “squirt?” Quite often if I’ve edged. 67. Have you ever attempted (or succeeded) to give yourself oral? Nope my belly would be in the way! 68. Have you ever given/received a footjob, boobjob, etc.? Given a boob job. 69. Have you ever had sex in a public place? In an alley 🙈70. Have you ever had sex in a bed/on a couch that didn’t belong to either of you? Yes. Family members houses. 71. Have you ever had sex/masturbated while somebody was sleeping near you? I have yes. 72. How many rooms of your house/apartment/etc. have you had sex in? 4. 73. Strangest/most unique place you’ve had sex? How about masturbated? In an alley. 74. Have you had any sexual experiences that were downright gross? I gagged that much I was sick a little. 75. Are you particularly “vocal” when masturbating/having sex? Always! 76. Have you ever been caught masturbating/having sex? A few times. 77. Have you had or do you want to have a threesome (or foursome, or more)? Never had, wouldn’t say no if my partner genuinely wanted one. 78. Do you own any sex toys? Many!! 79. Have you ever used a homemade sex toy, or a regular object as a sex toy? Electric toothbrush when I was a teen. 80. Can a dildo feel as good as a penis (assuming the person with the penis is good at what they do)? It depends on which dildo it is, so sometimes it can. 81. What are your favorite positions? Reverse cowgirl or doggy 82. Your most embarrassing sexual experience? Gagging so much I was sick. Recently too! 83. Worst place/time you’ve ever gotten a boner? Can’t say I have 😂😂84. Have you ever had any genital injuries? Nope. 85. Have you ever had a sexually transmitted infection? Nope. 86. Have you ever had a non-sexually transmitted genital infection (yeast infection, etc)? Nope. 87. If you lack a penis, have you ever tried to pee standing up? Whilst drunk yes. 88. If you lack a penis, how familiar are you with how you look down there? I look every so often. 89. Do you think you’re “good” at sex, or your performance/skill could use improvement? I’ve never had a complaint but that doesn’t mean I don’t need improvement. 90. Have you “sexted” (whether through text messaging or IM chat)? A few times. 91. Have you masturbated for or with someone via webcam? Once, yes. 92. Have you have phone sex? Nope. 93. If you had the opposite set of genitals for a day, name 5 things you would do. Masturbate, helicopter penis - can’t think what else. 94. What’s something you like about your body? My thighs. 95. What’s something you dislike about your body? Everything else. 96. What body parts do you find the sexiest? Thighs! 97. What was your most recent sexual thought? Being gagged again. 98. Do you ever just play with your boobs, penis, labia, etc.? I do, daily. 99. When was the last time you touched your genitals? Last night. 100. Do you often imagine people naked? Sometimes. Thanks lovely! You knew majority anyway 😂😘

[weirdfetishes123]

Superhero Factory Tour - deviantart

Prologue

Pleased to meet you! My name is Walter Walker and I’m the CEO of DoubleDub Industries, the largest food production and food processing corporation in America. Over the years my company has had astounding success with nutritional innovations and grown into a multi-billion dollar global food juggernaut. In recognition of my success I believe it’s important to periodically give back to society, so I decided to organize a special private tour of my primary production factory! But I had very special guests in mind. I have always loved superheroes. They provide inspiration to common people everywhere, and help keep our country safe and stable. Nothing has made me more excited than seeing these superhumans vanquish threats to our way of life, and my bottom line, so I decided to invite America's most famous superheroes for a private tour of my factory! I sent out invitations over the news, and only minutes later I got word that five heroes had accepted. Clearly even these superhumans know what a big deal my company is! The heroes coming on my private factory tour were to be Superman, The Flash, Green Lantern, Nightwing and Batman. The date was set. I was so excited! Not only was I going to get to meet my heroes, but it would be the most spectacular publicity for my company! I was determined that everything should go perfectly, this was a once in a lifetime event. I had every inch of the factory cleaned and polished to perfection, and all of the nation's press assembled outside the gates.

Arrival

The morning of the superhero tour finally came, and I was so excited I could barely control myself! I stood outside the gates of my factory while thousands of fans and hundreds of reporters thronged the plaza outside my front gates. I had worn a slim fitting lavender suit that showed off my fit body, and had my blonde hair coiffed and set perfectly in place. Everything for today had to be perfect. Then suddenly, the air cracked like thunder, and they arrived. In the blank of an eye the five superheroes had landed outside my front gate. They turned out to the crowd and waved, shaking a few hands and taking a few selfies with their fans, then they turned and looked at me. "Gentleman!" I smiled, "shall we begin the tour?!" And with that I led the five superhumans into my factory. As soon as we were past the gate and it closed, I stopped and faced my guests. I had never been this close to a superhero and they were incredibly majestic in person, almost intimidating. "This is such an honor to have you all here!" I said, "now that we are away from prying eyes and cameras, shall we introduce ourselves? I'm Walter, I started this company 27 years ago, and have overseen its growth from a small cannery into the most innovative food distributor in the world, and I cannot wait to show it off for you!" Superman then stepped forward with a friendly grin on his handsome square face, "Very happy to meet you Walter, obviously you know who I am, but since we are among friends here, you can call me Clark." He reached out and shook my hand, and I almost went weak in the knees. Clark stood at least 6'-5" and had shoulders so wide it was hard to imagine him fitting through a normal door. His sky blue spandex suit was shrink-wrapped onto his impressively muscular body, and highlighted every bulge and crevice from his round meaty pecs to his veiny biceps, soccer ball deltoids, and cobblestone abs. I hadn’t realized that up close he really did have a bodybuilder’s physique, with a muscly neck that was wider than his head. The Superman insignia on his chest was pushed out and slightly distorted by his massive pectoral muscles, and thick firm nipples the size of thimbles pointed straight down under his engorged chesticles. His thick thighs seemed as wide as tree trunks and were criss-crossed by prominent bulging veins. He wore stretchy red briefs over his blue suit, and they did nothing to hide the heavy bulge at his crotch. It almost looked as if there was a coke can straining the red spandex, with two apple-sized nuts shoved underneath it. Apparently he’s just used to flying around with his huge Kryptonian manhood on display. Behind him, the red spandex briefs were buried in the crack of his meaty ass, and each cheek seemed as round and firm as a basketball. I glanced up into his eyes again, and he had the most beautiful and friendly blue eyes. It was almost disconcerting to think that those eyes could fire deadly lasers at any moment. Clark must have noticed the awkwardly long pause I took admiring his body while we shook hands, and he chuckled, "Don't worry man, I don't bite. You have to meet the rest of the crew!" "Of course! Where are my manners?! Gentlemen!" I then shook hands with Nightwing, who was wearing a skin-tight black suit with a blue eagle stretched across his shoulders. His toned and muscular body was partially obscured by slim body armor, which I suppose was necessary since he was the only two men here without actual superpowers. Still, I noticed that he was as nimble as a panther and clearly possessed impressive reflexes. He stood slightly shorter than my 6’ height. “Great to meet you!” Nightwing smiled, “and you seem like a trustworthy guy, being an important CEO and all, so call me Dick!” The Flash was next. He was just my height and unsurprisingly had a lithe runner’s build. The material of his red suit was especially thin and almost had a shiny metallic luster to it. I could almost feel static electricity crackling around him as we shook hands.

"Well since we are all so trustworthy here, feel free to call me Barry," the speedster said. I then approached Batman, who seemed incapable of smiling, nevertheless he shook my hand, saying in a hoarse whisper, "Call me Bruce for today, but if you ever leak my name I'll slice you scalp to scrotum." I tried not to chuckle at the threat, clearly Bruce takes himself extremely seriously. He was a few inches taller than me, and although he was clearly very well-built he was wearing so much body armor that it was practically impossible to see his physique. "Finally!" Green Lantern said with a big grin as I turned to introduce myself to him. "I've been looking forward to this for a while! Feel free to call me Hal. Now let's get this show on the road!" Hal seemed to have a glowing green aura surrounding his entire body, which was particularly strong where the famous ring was mounted on his finger. I actually noticed he was levitating about an inch off the ground. He was slightly taller than me, and very muscular, but not nearly as tall or bulky as Superman. He was wearing a green bodysuit over black full body spandex, and the Green Lantern insignia over his impressive pecs glowed especially bright. At the crotch of his green bodysuit I couldn't help but notice the hefty bulge straining the stretchy fabric. The green spandex was so tight I could clearly see the head of his meaty cock. Hal noticed my eyes lingering on his bulge and when I looked up at his face he winked at me. "All right then!" I said, "if that's enough of an introduction for everyone, let's begin the tour!” I then lead Clark, Dick, Barry, Bruce, and Hal through the secondary gate and into the heart of my factory.

Nutrition

First and foremost, I wanted to show the superheroes how charitable my company is by taking them to the room where we produce nutritional assistance bars. "Follow me in here guys!" I said, bringing them into a room where my special ultra-high calorie nutrition formula was being shaped and packaged into small 2in bars. "Those don't look particularly appetizing," Nightwing said, picking up one of the small brownish-gray bars. "The flavor isn't the point!" I said, “these are DoubleDub’s specially formulated emergency supplemental nutrition bars. We distribute them to third world countries and disaster zones when there is a risk of starvation and no way to ship in food to people who would otherwise starve. Each one of these little bars contains a full week's worth of calories, and just a couple of them can keep a full grown adult alive for months. As we improve our distribution network, we really believe that these bars can make starvation a thing of the past!" "That's truly remarkable," Clark said, patting me lightly on the back, "kudos to you for using your company's resources to produce a product that can help so many of the poorest and most vulnerable people on earth." "Yes truly," Dick said, "I had no idea that you guys were innovating so much to help po- BARRY?! What are you doing?!" The five of us turned quickly to see that The Flash was popping three of the small bars into his mouth at the same time, and from the 12 wrappers at his feet it was clear that these were not the first ones he had eaten. "Sir! You can't just consume that many of these! This is a highly compressed intensely calorie dense formula!" "Oh what's the big deal," Barry scoffed between chews, "not only do I have the fastest metabolism of any man on Earth, but I didn't have breakfast today, and I can't spend this entire tour with my stomach rumbling." "But each one of those is over a week's worth of calories!" I protested, "and they're not designed to be consumed in multiples! When that many are ingested together it could cause a critical mass and a rapid release of all the compressed calories!" "Oh I'm sure he'll be fine," Hal said nonchalantly, "I've seen this fool eat an entire restaurant's worth of food and burn through it with 10 minutes of running. We don't need to worr-“ Suddenly a massive rumble emanated from Barry’s stomach. "Ugh guys, maybe you're right, I'm starting to get a massive stomach ache" the speedster said, rubbing his hands over his abdomen. "My gut feels so heavy all of a sudden." "Oh no," I said, "this isn't going to be pretty." "Oh my god, Barry! Is he getting fatter?!" Clark said frantically. Sure enough, a slight punch was quickly developing at Barry's belly. His toned abdominals had disappeared, and a new softness was forming all around his body. "I'm afraid so, I was afraid this could happen," I said with resignation in my voice, "that many nutrition bars ingested simultaneously is causing an exponential release of calories directly into his body." "Ooooh, I don't feel so good," Barry moaned. By now, thick rolls of fat were forming all around his torso, his firm pectorals bloated out into heavy man tits, and his striated thighs thickened up into flabby tree trunks. His ass expanded like two huge overfilled water balloons, pulling the straining red fabric of his suit deep into its crack. "Help him! Do something!" Nightwing yelled. "I'm afraid there's nothing I can do," I sighed. "Had we realized a few moments earlier, we could possibly have gotten him to vomit up the nutrition bars before they released their calories, but once a critical mass release like this has begun there is no way to stop it."

"Fuuuuck I'm getting so fat!" Barry moaned. By now he was as big as a champion sumo wrestler, with a thick flabby gut that was already hanging down below his yellow belt. Any muscular definition he had was gone, replaced by smooth bulges of fat and flab. The formerly sharp jawline of his face was obscured by a thickening double chin, and his fingers were plumping out into bloated sausages. Suddenly the expanding hero fell on his heavy sagging ass, making his entire body wobble and bounce. "Guys please!" Barry begged, tears beginning to glisten in his eyes, "I can't be a superhero if I weigh a thousand pounds!" "Well I'm sure eventually you'll be able to burn some of this weight off!" I said cheerfully, "it should only take you a few years! That is, if you're ever actually able to walk again." "Uuuunh!" Barry moaned, his head leaning back to rest on the billowing fat of his back and former neck. Fat continued to pile onto his body, forming roll after roll of wobbly flab. It was clear that he was starting to become immobile, as it was beginning to be difficult for him to shift his legs or flail with his arms. "What a fat fucking idiot," I heard Batman mutter. "Okay!" Nightwing said optimistically, "I think his growth is slowing down!" It did indeed seem that The Flash's fattening was nearing its end. A few more gurgles and rumbles and he stopped growing. He was remarkable, a true beached whale of a man. I was very impressed that his red suit had not torn away from his fattened body. "How much do you think he weighs now?" Hal asked. "Hmmm," I punched a few figures into my calculator estimating Barry's initial height and weight, "my estimate would be between 1400 and 1600 pounds." "Dear God," Superman said, "he's swollen up to be almost a ton of fat! How are we going to move him? He can't walk, and even I can't pick him up with all his liquidy fat folds bouncing and flopping everywhere!" "Moving him is going to be a challenge indeed," I said, "but I might just have an idea. I pushed a button on my pager to summon two of my workers, and in less than a minute they burst through the door of the nutrition bar room. My workers were wearing my standard factory-issue uniform, a skin-tight full-body gray rubber suit, which covered their heads and obscured their faces. A small opening at their mouths and nostrils was the only skin visible. Black reflective goggles covered their eyes, and they sported black rubber boots and gloves. I only hired fit muscular men to work in my factory, so both of them were over 6 ft tall and around 250 pounds of muscle. The majority of my workers were jocks who had failed out of College and needed a job when being a pro athlete didn’t pan out. I had directed the workers to bring the whipped cream machine with them, and the two muscular workers rolled the massive contraption through the door towards the now massively obese Flash. "Wha- what are you go- gonna do to me?" The fattened Flash muttered, trying in vain to shift his enormous body. His enormous flabby folds sort of looked like melting ice cream, wrapped in red spandex. "Well Barry, we need to move you somehow, and there's no way we can move you when you're a mountain of floppy flab, so this machine will help us temporarily tighten you up!" "Wha- But I - mmmmph mmmph!" My workers popped the hose of the whipped cream machine into Barry's fat mouth. "I sure hope you know what you're doing," Clark said nervously. "I'm sure this will work! Guys, turn on the whipped cream machine! Maximum output!" Immediately the machine hummed to life, and a steady stream of fluffy whipped cream began to flow down the tube into Barry's mouth. His eyes went wide with panic as the frothy whipped cream began to fill him, but it was clear he loved the taste. The effect of the whipped cream flowing into him was quickly apparent. His loose flabby folds began to expand and fluff up, and the rolls of his abdomen became rounder. "He's swelling up like a balloon!" Hal exclaimed. "Oh good, make the fat ass even bigger," Batman rolled his eyes.

"I think it's working!" I said expectantly. By now Barry's fat mountain of a body was beginning to puff up all over. He looked less like two tons of fat and more like an inflating parade balloon. His arms and legs swelled out into bloated cones while his torso became rounder and more spherical. He was rising up from his bloated ass as his skin tightened up all over. "Mmmmmmhh!!! Pwwsssshhh!" Barry protested through the whipped cream hose. "Now that's something I never thought I'd see," Clark muttered. I looked over at Superman and I could see he was shifting uncomfortably, the reason was very clear. Watching the fattened Barry get inflated with whipped cream was making Clark horny, and his meaty cock was thickening up and straining his red spandex briefs. Already his plump dick looked at least 10 inches long, and was clearly nowhere near fully hard. Nightwing walked over and rubbed his hand across the tight red fabric of Barry's expanding side. By now the speedster's entire body was rounding out into a great big sphere, pulling his arms and legs into the tight ball that he had become. As his feet finally left the ground and he rested on his distended taint, I had my workers stop the flow of whipped cream. One of my workers then gave the big red ball a shove, and he rolled easily towards the superheroes on the other side of the room. Batman and Green Lantern caught the rolling red ball, and pushed him back towards me and Nightwing. "Perfect!" I said, "now he's tight and round and we can easily roll him through the factory!" "But he's a helpless 2000 pound ball!" Dick protested, "isn't there a way you can fix him?!""Well, the whipped cream that's puffing him up should lose its gas and deflate back into regular heavy cream in a couple weeks. After that, it's just a question of him losing all the weight! I'm sure you can all help him get fit again, although be warned, the expansion of his stomach will mean he will have an insatiable appetite from now on." "Ooooffff I'm so biiiiig," Barry moaned as Dick rolled him out of the nutrition bar room. "Well that was unexpected," Clark said, trying to get his erection to go down, "where to next?" "The bubblegum room of course!" I said excitedly, "let's go gentleman!" And with that the superheroes and I walked (and rolled) to our next stop.

Bubblegum

After about 10 minutes of walking down a stainless steel corridor we arrived at the bubblegum room. The superheroes filed in, and one of my workers helped roll Barry through the double doors. "So this is where DoubleDub gum gets made," Hal said looking around at all the machinery, "you know I'm actually a big fan of your product, when I was in the Air Force I would chew your gum almost everyday. No other gum could blow bubbles as big!" "I'm so glad to hear that you're a loyal customer!" I said grinning, "Especially one serving his country!" I patted Hal on his muscular butt. "So how does all of this work?" Batman asked, looking at the complex machinery pulling and stretching my bright pink bubble gum. Clearly Bruce likes learning about technical components. "Well it's very simple! I use a highly potent natural gum extract to create a bubblegum base. You can see it in the big bubbling vat of pink liquid in the center of the room." The Superheroes gathered around the big steel vat which was about 10 ft across. "I let the gum extract mature in the tank for a few hours to develop its special bubblegum flavor. Then I pump out the extract and mix it with any kind of organic solids, typically I just use flour. I then mix one part bubblegum base with 20 parts of organic solids. The bubblegum base will actually convert the organic solids into bubble gum, while the potency of the base is reduced to safe levels. From there, my machines pull and stretch the gum to get the right texture, and then it is packaged up and sent to market!" "That's actually remarkable," Bruce said, "so the bubblegum base in this vat is so potent that it's only one twentieth of the final bubblegum product?!" "Yes!" I said excitedly, "because the rest of the final product is just cheap organic solids that have been converted into bubble gum, we have created an extremely cost-effective product!" "That's pretty nifty," Dick said, backing away from the tank, "too bad I was never good at organic chemistry in school." "Gum is a pretty bad habit," Clark said, walking over to check on Barry's spherical body, "it's rude and causes all sorts of gunk and litter in our cities." "I wouldn't say that!" Hal chirped, leaning over the vat of bubble gum base. "It really helped me focus in the Air Force while I was flying the old-fashioned way!" He was leaning out and looking intently at the bubbling pink goo. "And this just smells so good!" Suddenly, with lightning speed, Green Lantern dipped his hand into the vat of pink bubble gum base. He pulled his arm out and looked at the thick pink liquid covering his glove. "Let's see how potent this pure stuff really is!" "No! Don't! Shit!!!" I yelled as Hal began rapidly licking the pink goo off his hand. "What's the issue?" Hal laughed, chomping excitedly on the big wad in his mouth, "it's just gum!" "Didn't you listen?! That isn't gum that's ready for market, that's the highly volatile bubblegum base! It's specifically formulated to convert organic matter into gum! And superpower ring or not, your body is still organic matter!" "Wha- but I-" Hal stammered between chews. "Oh this can't be good," Nightwing said, "is he turning p-?" "Yes," I replied, "I'm afraid he is already turning pink. I've had far too many accidents with my workers in the bubblegum room, and that's the main reason they're mandated to wear those rubber suits." "Hal! Quit chewing!" Clark yelled, zipping over to his chomping buddy. By now the color change was unmistakable. First, Hal's face began to turn bright pink, and then the color spread across his body. The glowing aura that surrounded him had shifted from green to Pink. The insignia on his chest was now pink, his tight green bodysuit turned pink, and even his magic ring now glowed a neon fuchsia. "I can't stop," Hal said, intensely chewing the gum in his mouth, "it's just so incredibly good! God I love bubblegum!"

Superman tried to reach to take the wad out of Hal's mouth, but the glowing pink Lantern swatted his arm away. "Hal you idiot! Your body TURNING INTO bubblegum!" But the pink hero was unconcerned with Supes' warning. Then the hissing began. "Oh no," Clark muttered, "what now?" The hissing noise was getting louder and emanating from Hal's stomach. It sounded like the valve of an air tank had been left open. "I'm afraid I've seen this process with some of my unfortunate workers before," I said, "there's no stopping it. You may want to back up, Clark." Suddenly, Hal's belly surged forward like a balloon being rapidly inflated with a powerful pump. "What's happening to meeeeee!" The pink Green Lantern yelled as the swelling spread to his chest, puffing up his pecs like plump pillows. Within seconds, every part of his body was rapidly distending and filling with air "Holy fuck he's blowing up too!" Dick exclaimed! "Help me guys!!!" Green Lantern begged, flailing his expanding limbs. Hal's arms and legs had now puffed up into distended cones, and were being forced into an X position by his inflating body. His torso was getting wider by the second, forcing his bloated limbs higher and higher. Even his face was puffing up into big swollen chipmunk cheeks. "I'm afraid he should have listened, his entire body has now been converted into bubble gum, and bubblegum is designed to make big fun bubbles." I said. "But what's going to happen to him?!" Nightwing asked, "he looks like he could pop at any second!" "Oh I'm sure he'll be fine, he can get way bigger," I replied, "granted, a few of my workers have exploded after being accidentally contaminated with the bubblegum base, but I'm sure Hal's superpowers will prevent him from bursting." "Let's hope," Superman said, "he's looking awfully full already." "Guyyyyssss! Help me pleeeeeaaase!" Hal begged. He was struggling to raise his voice over the loud noise of the hissing air forcing its way into his body. By now his waistline had to be over 100 inches around, and he was beginning to lose all freedom of movement. His torso was becoming more spherical by the second, and was pushing up into his head and preventing him from turning it. The palm of his hands had swollen into round balls the size of cantaloupes, and his fingers looked like puffed up sausages. His pink bodysuit was struggling to contain his rapidly expanding abdomen, and we could all clearly see that his cock and balls were being massively puffed up with air as well. The head of his pink cock was severely straining the spandex, and looked to be as wide as a ripe watermelon. His ballooning nuts were equally impressive and were easily the size of soccer balls. "Damn, I always knew Hal had a big package but that's ridiculous!" Nightwing said. "If he explodes you're going to be in such deep shit it's not even funny," Batman hissed in my ear. "Well… I assume he won't pop." I said, suddenly a bit nervous. Hal had now rounded out into a smooth pink ball, wrapped in tight straining spandex. His puffed-up limbs were being absorbed into his spherical body and the pressure in him was clearly so intense he couldn't move at all. He then rolled onto the distended curve of his back, so we could see the spandex forcing itself between his expanding ass cheeks, as well as his massively inflated cock and balls sticking out from his round body. "Mmmmhpppph huuulllpp mmmeeehh!" The ballooning bubblegum superhero whimpered. His tight pink skin had begun to creak as the pressure and him continued to increase. Then suddenly the huge ball of a man lifted off the ground. "Grab him!" Nightwing yelled. Faster than a speeding bullet, Superman darted across the room and grabbed Hal's boot as he began to float like a balloon. "Remarkable!" I said, "his superpowers have actually caused the air in his body to transform into helium!" "Guess he's a proper balloon now," Nightwing said, looking up at the spectacle of Clark holding down the massively inflated pink balloon man.

By now, the creaking of Hal's skin was almost deafening, he sounded like an over inflated balloon right before it burst. He had swollen way beyond his normal height, and was now passing at least 8' wide. Clark was looking increasingly concerned. "Tell me," Superman asked, "how many of your workers who were contaminated with this stuff ended up exploding?" "Ummm, well…" I stammered, "frankly they all did, bu-" "All of them?!" Clark said, suddenly panicked, "so you're telling me that anyone who's so much as touched this stuff has blown up and popped like a gooey gum bubble?!" "I'm afraid that's true. I always tried to save them, but they just expand so fast with this gum formula. Most of my workers who fell victim to it were moaning in pleasure by the time they finally exploded." "Well we can't let Hal burst like a sticky bubble. With that, Superman suddenly flew up on top of Hal's expanding body, and straddled the ballooning pink man. Clark very gently tore a hole in the straining spandex around Hal's massively inflated junk. Immediately the Lantern’s bright pink cock and balls bounced out for all of us to see. His swollen cock had expanded bigger than Superman's muscled torso, and his nuts looked like overfilled yoga balls. "Pweeeeeeasshhe Cwwaark! Sshhhave meeeeh!" Hal moaned, "I dooonnnn waaannnnaa bbuuurrsssshhhht!" "And you're not gonna," Clark said defiantly. With that Superman wrapped his arms around Hal's inflated pink cock, and pushed his hefty super bulge into the ballooning pink shaft. Clark rubbed his body up and down Hal's cock, squeezing and grinding his firm pecs and rippling washboard abs against Hal's gigantically inflated manhood. The huge pink bubblegum balloon began to shake and vibrate as Clark jerked him off harder and harder. Even as Superman put all his energy into stimulating the enormous cock, the former Lantern was ballooning past 12 ft wide. The hissing and creaking of Hal's body was deafening until suddenly… "Uunnnnnhhhhhhfffffuuuuuck!" An enormous blast of gas shot out of Hal's massive dick, blowing both him and Superman across the room, and bouncing them off the far wall. As he shook with his orgasm, Hal deflated down from 10 ft wide, to 9 ft, to 8 ft, and finally stopped cumming around 7 ft wide. The hissing and the creaking noises coming from the enormous pink bubblegum balloon finally stopped. Clark was breathing heavily, and he staggered back onto the ground. It was clear he had just blown a massive load into his suit, and the thick super cum was leaking through the fabric of his red spandex briefs, dripping onto the ground in sticky white drops. Hal was floating in place a few feet off the ground, like a balloon that had let out some of its helium but not enough to completely lose its buoyancy. We could hear the inflated Lantern breathing heavily, but he wasn't trying to say anything. No doubt relieved he hadn't exploded, and trying to catch his breath after his massive orgasm. "Well that was a disaster," Batman said, "you're going to have a lot of explaining to do after this tour." "Some incidents are unavoidable,” I said. “Now, on to the television room!" We filed out of the bubblegum room with Clark holding Hal's foot, and Dick rolling Barry. Hal's huge puffy pink cock remained popped out of the rip in his suit that Clark had made. As they maneuvered their inflated buddies, Nightwing said to Superman, "That was a pretty huge load you blew. There's cum all over your briefs and inner thighs." Superman rolled his eyes, "it happens. I had to make sure Hal didn't pop back there." "I think you were pretty turned on watching him blow up," Nightwing said with a twinkle in his eyes. Dick then reached down and rubbed his hand on the soggy fabric of Clark's bulging briefs. "Still pretty chubby down there, big guy," Dick said as he licked Superman's sticky cum off his hands. "Mmmm so that's what super spunk tastes like." "Shut up," Clark said with a chuckle, punching Dick lightly in the shoulder, "I'll change my suit after the tour."

Television

We then arrived at the doors of the television room. Once again, a couple of my workers helped to maneuver the two inflated superheroes inside. The whole room was a metallic shiny white, perfectly sterile with the only equipment being a large elaborate video camera, and a white high-definition flat screen TV mounted on the far wall. I suppose it looked like a futuristic film studio. "So what's this all about now?" Batman asked, "is this place like for DoubleDub advertising?" "In a sense!" I explained, "actually the purpose of this room is to perfect a means of transporting food products through television! Much the same way an image is converted into Data and transmitted to your screen, I've been working on a way to convert matter into Data and transmit it through a screen! Just watch! For example, I'll take this mundane watermelon, and place it in front of the camera." One of my workers then stood behind the elaborate video camera and pressed the record button. There was a bright flash and the watermelon disappeared. "It's been vaporized!" Nightwing said. "Nonsense!" I replied, "look at the screen over there," and I pointed to the flat screen on the wall. There, clear as day, was the very same watermelon that had just disappeared in front of the camera. "Now this is a perfectly normal television set," I explained, "Dick, reach up and grab the watermelon.” “But it's - a screen?" Nightwing protested incredulously. "Just try," I said with a wink. Nightwing walked up to the screen, looked at the watermelon quizzically, and reached into the TV and grabbed the watermelon. He pulled it out and held it in his palm. It was now about the size of a small apple, but still very clearly the same watermelon. "That's incredible!" Dick exclaimed, "but it's so small!?" "Well everything on your TV screen is smaller than in real life, so when I actually start transmitting food through television, it will need to be scaled up in order to be the correct size on the other end." "Absolutely remarkable technology," Clark said, leaning against the inflated pink balloon that had formerly been Green Lantern. "Will it work on anything?" "Yes! I really don't think there's a limit! I've even sent a few animals through." Batman hadn't really been paying attention, he was rubbing Barry's smooth round sides, but he perked up when I mentioned that I had sent animals through television. The Dark Knight walked over to me with an excited look on his face. "Don't you realize what this means?!" Bruce said, "I can literally teleport anywhere. Every criminal in Gotham will be within my reach, when I can use your television technology to transport myself directly to them and attack them through the screen!" "Well yes, I suppose this technology could be used for law enforcement eventually, but that's not really the point," I said. "Bullshit! Batman yelled. "This technology will make me unstoppable! Batman will be everywhere in Gotham with just the flick of a switch! Send me through television right now!" "Oh I really don't think that's a good idea, you see wh-," "I don't fuckin care what you think!" Bruce yelled, "I'm the protector of this city and I'm teleporting myself through TV!" Batman then walked over and stood right in front of the camera, he pointed to the worker who was operating it, "You! Fire this thing up!" Clark looked concerned,"Bruce do you really think this is a good ide-?" "Shut up, Supes. For once I'm going to be faster than you!" Batman pointed at the worker with the camera, "fire it now! The worker did as he was told and in a flash of light Batman was gone. "Oh this isn't going to be good," Nightwing muttered, walking over to the screen. "Well, it should only be a moment," I said as the fuzzy picture of The Dark Knight began to appear on the TV screen. "Shit." Nightwing said. Batman appeared on the screen, but the formerly 6'-3" meathead was now barely a foot tall. "Fuck yes!" Batman said, flexing his arms above his head, "I'm the first superhero to teleport through television!"

"Yes but there's just one problem," Dick said as he reached into the screen and pulled out the miniaturized Bruce. As Nightwing pulled him out of the screen Bruce realized what had happened to him. Nightwing held the Dark Knight easily in his hand like an action figure. "What the fuck?! You shrunk me!!!" Batman's voice was now squeaky and high-pitched, and was barely audible. "This is bullshit! Fix me!" The miniaturized hero demanded. "Well you really should have paid attention," I said, "I made it clear that transporting you through the TV was not going to be a good idea." "God fucking damnit!" Bruce thrashed as Dick gripped him around the waist, "I can't be a hero when I'm 10 inches tall!!!" Batman's yelling almost sounded like an angry chipmunk squeaking. Clark suppressed a laugh, and then turned to me. "So isn't there any way we can make him big again?" Superman asked. "Well there's one strategy I have for pumping things back up after they've been accidentally shrunk," it's worth a shot. "Anything is better than this!" Nightwing said, holding the shrunken Bruce up next to his face. "Okay," I instructed, "Dick, take all of Bruce's clothes off." I then turned to the worker, "You, go bring in the pump and the needle.” Nightwing began to gently undress the miniaturized Dark Knight in his hands. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Bruce squeaked and protested. "Stop struggling!" Nightwing yelled at the little man in his hands, "We are going to make you big again." "This tour just gets weirder and weirder," Superman said, quickly looking away from Batman's predicament to give Hal a quick kiss on his swollen pink cheek. Within another minute, Bruce was totally naked except for his cape and cowl. He really did have a very impressive body, and had clearly spent hours and hours every day in the gym. Only now his body was the size of a Batman action figure. "You had better fix this quick!" The little hero squeaked, shaking his fist at me. Just then my worker in the gray rubber suit and black goggles came back in the room. He was wheeling with him a portable air compressor, and a hose with the kind of needle attachment that you use for inflating basketballs. "All right, I said," handing the hose with the needle to Dick, "insert that into Bruce's hole, and we'll get started pumping him back up." "What the fuck?!" Batman squeaked. "You can't be serious?" Nightwing said incredulously, "you're just going to blow him back up with air?" "It's the only possible way to make him bigger," I said, "otherwise he's going to be stuck at this doll size forever." "Well if you say so," Nightwing sighed. He turned Bruce around so Batman's blueberry-sized ass cheeks were sticking out. We then rubbed a little lubricant on the hose needle and Nightwing began to press it into Bruce's hole. "UUUGH wait no you can't?!" Batman yelled as Nightwing inserted the inflation needle all the way into his little ass. "All right, great!" I motioned to my worker. "Turn on the air!" "Just don't pop him," Clark muttered from across the room. The air compressor began to hiss and whirr, forcing air up inside Batman's shrunken asshole. The effect on the miniaturized Dark Knight was immediate. Within seconds, his entire body was blowing up like a latex party balloon, and quickly he rounded out into a 1 ft wide ball. I watched the pressure gauge on the air compressor intently as Batman continued to expand "He can hold plenty more! Keep pumping." Dick then had to hold the inflating hero with both hands, and his arms were gradually being pushed apart as Batman swelled up. "Oooooh sooo much pressure!" The Bat Balloon squeaked. "Is he okay?!" Nightwing asked, glancing nervously down at the rapidly inflating little man in his arms. "Oh he's fine!" I said, checking the pressure gauge on the air compressor, "we can pump way more air into him." Now, Batman had expanded into a 2 ft wide ball, and looked as tight and shiny as a rubber balloon. Nightwing's arms were being pushed out increasingly far as Bruce swelled.

"What are we going to do with him?" Nightwing asked, looking over at Clark. Superman rolled his eyes, "maybe you can use him as a yoga ball." "Nooooo I can't even move! Heeeeelp!" Batman complained. The tight shiny ball was now nearing 3 ft wide, and Nightwing set him down on the ground. He rolled onto his belly so the needle in his ass that was inflating him was sticking up into the air. I checked the compressor pressure gauge again. He was getting almost full. I could hear his skin beginning to Creek and strain like an over inflated balloon. "I think he's just about had enough," Clark said, eyeing his inflating buddy. "Okay, just a second," I said, "we want him pumped up as big as possible, right?!" Batman swelled past 3 ft wide, then 3 ft 6 in wide. "Pweeeashe! I'm goooonna pop!" The little blimp begged. Just as he passed 4 ft wide, the air compressor gauge went into the red zone. I motioned for my worker to cut off the gas, and Batman abruptly stopped inflating. He was actually adorable, a shiny 4 ft wide balloon, wearing a little bat cowl and a little cape. The only trace of his limbs was four little divots where his hands and feet should have been, but they had been sucked so deep into his round little body there was no part of them visible. His little cock had been pumped up tight and puffy, and was about the size of a small soda can, and his nuts were about as wide as plums. Nightwing picked the distended Dark Knight up, and the cherry-sized head of his inflated cock pointed angrily towards me. "I'll get you for this!" The little bat balloon yelled as Nightwing handed him to me. "Whatever you say big boy," I smiled looking at the little silver dollar sized head on his spherical 4-ft body. I then tossed Bruce in the air and swatted him like a beach ball towards Clark. Superman grabbed the bat balloon and looked down at his little face. "Well I guess having him inflated like this is better than worrying about stepping on him." Clark said wearily. "I think we've seen all there is to see here." "Yes indeed!" I exclaimed, "on to the next room!" We filed out of the television room with Superman holding Batman and Nightwing guiding Hal through the air. One of my workers kindly offered to roll Barry along behind us. "So where to next?" Nightwing asked. "Since Supes and I are the only dudes left who you haven't managed to blow up."

Loading Dock

I led the two superheroes, and the three blimps up and down several corridors through the depths of my factory. I was excited to take them to the farming area, to show them all the impressive new agricultural techniques we were developing. Because it was such a distance, I decided to take us on a shortcut through the factory's shipping area. The shipping zone at the DoubleDub factory is huge! We ship tons of products all over the world every day, and are constantly loading up enormous pallets of goods to be sent to market. Because of the enormous volume of material we are constantly loading, I had come up with a little innovation to help speed the process. As soon as we stepped through the doors of the shipping area, I saw Nightwing's jaw drop. "Holy fuck they're huge!!!" He exclaimed. Dick was referring to the workers who I have loading pallets of our product onto trucks day and night. In order to move more material, and to make it easier on the workers, I devised a formula that made their bodies grow to gigantic size. When I hire a man to work at my loading dock, I give him a special injection of DoubleDub growth serum. Over the course of about two weeks, his body will grow to between 25 and 30 feet tall. The formula also causes a massive release of testosterone in the man as he grows, so his muscles bulk up to spectacular size. Obviously, the extra testosterone also means that my giant workers are both hairy and horny. Generally I just let my giant workers load pallets naked, since trying to get clothing on them would just result in excess sweating and body odor. "God damn I've never seen a man this big!" Nightwing exclaimed, looking up at the gigantic dudes loading pallets onto trucks. It was immediately apparent that a tent was forming in the crotch of Nightwing's black spandex suit. "Yup, they're big guys all right," Clark said nonchalantly. Superman didn't seem particularly impressed with my giant workers, and was distracted by trying to pick flecks of dried cum off of his suit. "Fuck, look at those cocks!" Nightwing said, visibly drooling at the sight of the naked giants' 4 ft dicks bouncing around as they worked. There were eight giants working at the loading dock today, and each of the huge men had a full beard, and a thick layer of body hair swirling over his bulging muscles. Each time one of the Giants loaded a pallet onto a truck he gave a resonant grunt. Nightwing was slowly stepping closer and closer to the enormous hairy men. One of the giants, I think his name might have been Dan, looked down at the lithe superhero stepping towards him. I noticed a little bubble of clear pre-cum appear at the tip of the giant's cock. Superman looked up from picking dried spunk off his briefs, and saw Nightwing walking closer to the Giants at the loading dock. "Yo Dick, maybe that's not such a good idea," Clark called out to him, "just let the giant dudes work, and don't get in their way." "Leave me alone, Clark," Dick yelled back, "you're not my nanny!" "Listen to Clark!" I yelled at Dick, "my giants can be unpredictable, especially if they get aroused." By now Nightwing was standing right at the giant's foot. The slender man in black and blue spandex barely came up to the giant worker's ankle. The two of them were making eye contact, and in addition to the noticeable tent in Nightwing's suit, I could see the giant's cock was thickening up. The bubble of clear pre-cum dribbled off his slit and dropped directly down onto Dick. About three gallons of sticky pre-cum immediately covered the hero. Dick slurped up as much of the precum as he could, panting and looking up at the 30 foot tall hairy muscle man above him. "Take me big boy," Nightwing said. The giant then reached down and picked Dick up like a toy soldier. Dick was smaller in the giant's hand than shrunken Batman had been in his hands a few minutes earlier. "Oh I've got a bad feeling about this," Clark said, nervously looking up at the giant holding Nightwing.

"Clark, if you ruin this from me I swear to God I will put kryptonite in your Cheerios!" Dick yelled down at Superman. Clark and I just exchanged nervous glances. By now the giant's cock was at full mask, and oozing pre-cum like a faucet. Fully erect it was just over 6 ft long, with a shiny red head the size of a watermelon. Beneath the massive cock, the giant’s nuts were each at least four feet wide, and hung low and heavy in his hairy scrotum. The giant set Nightwing on his massive manhood, and Dick straddled the enormous shaft like a rodeo bull. Dick immediately set about rubbing and licking the massive schlong as much as he could. The giant moaned and his huge round ass cheeks flexed while his abs tensed up. A couple of the other giants looked over quizzically at their coworker who was suddenly moaning in sexual bliss, but a quick angry grunt let them know that Nightwing was not for sharing. As Nightwing thrust his body harder and harder against the giant’s cock, both of them began to moan louder and louder. Superman rolled his eyes, “well I guess they can have their fun for a few minutes,” Clark said nonchalantly as he leaned up on the Barry ball and went back to picking dried cum off his spandex. I glanced back up at Nightwing straddling the giant’s 6’ long cock. Suddenly I noticed the sound of the giant’s grunts changed. They became deeper and more deliberate - almost angrier. The huge man looked down from the ceiling and focused on the little superhero trying to get him off. His eyes narrowed, and his mouth turned up at the corners into a wicked grin. The giant then grabbed Dick with his thumb and his forefinger and lifted him up into the air. “Whaaa- what are you doing?!” Dick asked, suddenly concerned. The giant then used his fingernail to delicately rip a hole in Dick’s spandex suit, allowing Nightwing’s package to flop out, and revealing his smooth ass crack. The giant then pressed his index finger up between Dick’s ass cheeks. “Oh dear god! Fuck it’s too biiii- uuunnhh! Fuuuuck that feels so gooood!” Nightwing moaned as the enormous finger forced its way into his ass. The giant then held Nightwing out by just the finger that was inserted into Dick’s hole, making the hero look like a finger puppet. The two men made eye contact, and the giant glanced down at his huge throbbing cock, and then looked directly at Dick. Uuunnh! Fuck YES!” Nightwing moaned. With a smooth and surprisingly dextrous motion, the giant pulled his finger out of Nightwing’s ass, and grabbed the hero with one leg in each hand. He then brought Nightwing down on the tip of his huge throbbing cock head. “Give it to me big boy!” The giant then gradually forced his watermelon-sized cockhead up into Nightwing’s hole. He pulled Dick by his legs until almost four feet of the giant schlong was inside Nightwing. The huge cock was wider than Dick’s waist had been a few minutes earlier, so watching Nightwing’s ass swallow the enormous manhood was almost like watching the giant put on a condom, only the condom was a man. Dick literally looked like a latex rubber, stretched out over a magnum-sized cock. “Oh my gooooooddddd! This is fuckin’ ammmmaaaazing!” Nightwing yelled as his little body was stretched out like an overblown condom on a porn star. Clark then looked back up at Nightwing and the giant, and saw Dick had been wrapped around the massive tool. “Uh oh. That can’t be good.” Clark said, “I’ve gotta help him.” “It’s too dangerous,” I said, “If the giant feels you try and pull Nightwing off of him, he could buck and thrash, or even fall and accidentally crush the little man! We just have to let them finish now.” By now the giant was using Nightwing like a fleshlight, jacking himself off with the hero stretched out around his engorged man meat. Nightwing was alternating between moaning and screaming, and the giant was grunting and growling so loud it made the entire loading dock vibrate as if we were having a mild earthquake.

The giant’s strokes grew faster and faster until I heard the enormous man gasp, and his low-hanging nuts drew up against his body. “Here it comes,” I said. “That’s gonna be a big load,” Clark said worriedly. The giant yelled and bucked his hips as hard as he could. His cock and balls spasmed as he blasted his first spurt of cum into Nightwing. Immediately Nightwing began to swell like an inflating condom. The giant then bucked his hips and yelled again. Another massive spurt of cum pumped into Nightwing, then another, then another. With each blast of cum Dick’s body ballooned bigger and bigger, blimping out like a water balloon full of man-cream. As Dick inflated, the last scraps of Nightwing’s suit finally burst off his expanding body.” “Good grief! He’s blowing up with spunk!” Superman yelled. After a full minute of the giant’s orgasm, the huge man’s grunts began to subside, and he staggered backwards slightly. Dick’s body was now a 7’ wide balloon mounted on the giant’s cock. The giant then caught his breath, and with two hands, pulled Nightwing’s inflated body off his schlong with a loud wet POP. “Well he looks okay!” I said, glancing over at Superman. Clark looked at me with an expression of absolute contempt. The giant held out the Nightwing balloon and looked at him with all the interest of a frat bro looking at a used condom. He shrugged and tossed the inflated hero up in the air, turning back to his work loading pallets. “Noooo!” Superman yelled, “No way he can handle a fall from that high, he’ll burst for sure!” As Nightwing’s cum-ballooned body arched through the air, faster than a speeding bullet Superman flew over to catch him. Clark caught Nightwing when he was about five feet above the ground, and saved him from exploding into a big sticky puddle of cum. “Th- Thanks Supes,” Nightwing stammered as Clark set him down, clearly struggling from the awkwardness of lifting a 7 ft spunk-filled balloon. “Hope it was worth it fatboy,” Clark said, positioning Dick onto his side and rolling the inflated hero towards the exit of the loading area. “I wonder if he’ll remember me,” Dick murmured, gargling through the cum that was bubbling up from his throat. The balloon stole a quick glance up at the giant who had fucked him and blown him up with his seed. I looked over at the giant who was now contentedly loading pallets as if nothing had ever happened. “I wouldn’t count on it.”

Agriculture

We walked out of the loading dock area and down another long stainless steel corridor. Clark and I walked together while four of my workers handled the inflated heroes behind us. "Well I hate to say it," Superman said, but this tour has been something of a disaster. "Four of my partners are now helpless blimps. I know you didn't intend for this to happen, but the press is going to have a field day with you after they see what's happened to Barry, Hal, Bruce, and Dick." I sighed, looking up at the muscled Kryptonian in blue, "I know you're right, Clark. It's not going to be pretty. My public relations department is really going to have to work overtime." "I really thought they knew better," Clark said, shaking his head, and looking back at the four inflated superheroes behind us. "Indeed," I said, "well we might as well finish the tour! I have some agricultural innovations that I'm absolutely dying to show you, and a little bird told me that you yourself have some connections to the press corps! Maybe a good write-up about farming technology could help offset some of the inevitable bad press. And we’re already here at the agricultural area and it’s such a long walk back out of the factory." Clark chuckled, "well if we’re here, why not." With that, I led Superman into the vast agriculture room, while my workers rolled the four ballooned heroes in after us. The agriculture room is a vast indoor farm, comprising two thousand acres of genetically modified plants. From the main gate where we walked in, the other end of the agriculture room is several football fields away! Some of DoubleDub’s most important research goes on here, helping us perfect modern farming techniques around the world. “Wow, you weren't kidding about the size of this place.” Superman said. Row after row of indoor plantings seemed to stretch all the way to the horizon. Here and there, my workers in the grey rubber suits ran about tending to certain fruits and vegetables. “Now Clark, this is what I most want to show you,” I said gesturing towards a row of low shrubs with vines growing out of them. “These babies are one of my most exciting genetic innovations.” “These little shrubs?” Clark asked, “How so? It just looks like a berry bush crossed with an ivy vine.” I smiled, “Well I’m glad you noticed it was for growing berries, Clark! Blueberries to be precise. These little vines can produce the largest blueberries ever grown by man! Just one can feed an entire family for weeks!” Clark looked incredulous, “I’ve never heard of a blueberry that big. It doesn’t sound possible.” “Oh yeah?” I said, “Well this row of plants hasn’t fruited yet, but three rows down, you can see a row of the same vines that was planted two weeks earlier!” Clark glanced three rows over as I directed and his jaw dropped. Sure enough, just as I had said there was a row of the same little plants, studded with the largest blueberries in history. Each of the blueberries was between 6 and 9 feet wide, and so engorged with sweet juice they looked like they could burst at any second. The huge fruits were spaced about five feet apart from each other and a few of my workers were paying extra attention to rubbing and soothing the enormous blueberries. “Well I’ll be damned,” Clark said resting his hands on his hips, he chuckled, “Dude you’re gonna get the Nobel Prize. Your factory may have some issues, but from what I’ve seen, you’re about to make starvation and hunger a thing of the past. I’m going to give you a huge endorsement in the Daily Planet!” “I knew you’d be impressed!” I chirped. “Oh Superman, look! One of the new berry vines at your feet is just beginning to grow fruit! Check it out!” “Cool man!” Superman said looking down, he paused, “I don’t see any fruit?” I noticed the vines at Clark’s feet shift and pulse ever so slightly. “It’s really small, you might need to get closer.” “Hmm, okay then,” Superman said, kneeling down in front of the plants. He held his face just inches from the vines, looking for the fruit which I had assured him was there.

Clark looked up at me, “I still don- Mmph!!!” As Clark opened his mouth to speak, one of the vines thrust itself into his mouth as quick as a whip. Before Superman could even react, the vine had rammed itself down his throat. Clark looked momentarily panicked and moved his arms to try and pull the vine out of his mouth. But as he gripped the vine with his strong hands, his movements began to slow and he began to wobble. Superman looked up at me with pleading eyes, but I could tell he was getting dizzy from the vine’s venom. His eyes glazed over and he fell on the ground with the vine in his mouth. “Oh no, whatever shall we do?” I said mockingly, standing over the passed-out superhero. I glanced back at the other four inflated heroes with a wicked grin. The four ballooned men squeaked in anxious fear. They knew that even if their bodies had been inflated, as long as Superman was with them they’d be safe, but now he was passed out in the middle of my farm. “Cwark! Noooo! Waakkh Uuph!” Barry muttered, trying in vain to roll himself forward. “Cooomh ooonh biiigh buhhlue!” Hal whimpered, floating four feet above the ground and his glowing pink aura growing brighter with his anxiety. GUUUUURRRGLE The loud noise brought my attention back to Clark. The vine in his mouth had thickened up, and had grown from being about one inch in diameter to almost four inches in diameter, forcing Superman’s mouth open as wide as it could go. A series of deep rumblings were coming from the kryptonian’s stomach. "Whuuuut's huhhpehning to his noooshe?!" Nightwing tried to yell. "It's bwwuuhe!" Batman squeaked. Sure enough, a deep blue color was spreading out from Superman's nose across his face. Within a few moments Clark's entire body had turned a deep cobalt blue, far deeper than the sky blue of his spandex suit. As his body changed color the gurglings and rumblings from Clark's stomach became louder and louder. Then, the vine in his mouth began to pulse and vibrate, and the transformation got going. "Nnnoohhh! Suhpehuhmuuhn ish bwwoowing uuuuph!" Barry yelled. Sure enough, as he lay unconscious on the ground with the vine in his mouth, Superman's blue body had begun to expand. His rumbling belly was rising up like bread dough, obscuring any definition in his abs, while his firm pectorals were bloating up like big blue pillows. All over his muscular body, his buff physique was plumping up like a bodybuilder who had let himself go and fattened up. "Oh dear, Clark seems to be swelling up," I said to the other balloons. "What are we going to doooo?" Superman's yellow belt was starting to dig into his expanding blue flesh, while the bulge in his red briefs was plumping up considerably. I could hear the spandex of his suit beginning to strain from the pressure of his swelling body. His thighs were bloating up like fat blue hams, and his biceps had lost all muscular definition and were becoming round and puffy. "Whuuthhsss huhhpehning tooh hhiihhmm?!" Hal asked frantically. I glanced down at the expanding Kryptonian and smiled. "Well as a matter of fact, Clark here is filling up with juice!" "Juuushhhh?" Nightwing asked through bloated cheeks. "Blueberry juice to be specific," I said, "you see these blueberry vines don't actually grow their own fruit. They need a vessel, like say- a man, to fill with juice. That vessel will then bloat up and ripen into an enormous blueberry." "Whuuht the fuuchhk?!" Batman yelped. "Oh yes! In fact all of those other blueberries three rows over used to be workers here at the factory. Most of these big dumb jocks are only useful to me for a few years before they start getting fat and lazy and slacking off, so after a couple years of work I have them blown up into huge juicy fruits to be sold at market! That's why those workers over there are being so attentive to those big blueberries, they all used to be friends." "Yooouuuhrrrh a moonnshhteh!" Barry whimpered. I laughed, "oh please, I'm just a businessman. Turning my workers into blueberries is far more cost effective than actually growing real berries."

I turned back towards Clark to see how he was ripening. He now looked absolutely obese, and the gurgling in his stomach was rumbling like an earthquake. Superman's waist must have been almost eighty inches around and his yellow belt was digging into his abdomen so deep it looked like it was going to cut him in two. Then suddenly. BANG!!! Superman's belt burst off of his inflating blue body, allowing his belly to surge forward. The juice inside of him sloshed back and forth like a tidal wave within the ballooning hero. I heard the other balloons flinch and whimper as Clark's belt burst off. There was no going back now. Superman's inflation then kicked into high gear. Instead of just fattening up like an overfed Sumo wrestler, Clark was beginning to round out. His back was puffing up almost as much as his belly, lifting his head off the ground. His arms and legs were getting shorter by the second as they were absorbed into his round blue torso. With every pulse of juice into him he was looking less like a man and more like an engorged blueberry. I climbed up on his boots and clambered onto his enormous belly. His swollen chest was becoming much less prominent and had begun to merge with the curve of his round body. I pressed my throbbing hard-on against his ballooning belly and felt him growing beneath me. The rumbling and gurgling of the huge blueberry was so intense it felt like I was humping a massive blue vibrator. Leaning down beneath his chest I gently rubbed his fat swollen cheeks. The thick vine was still lodged in his mouth, but I figured the initial venom would be wearing off by now. "Claaaark. Wake uuuuuppp," I whispered. Superman's eyes slowly opened. He looked dazed and confused, but his eyes were now a beautifully unnatural blue. He blinked and looked side to side a couple times before he began to realize what had happened. Suddenly his eyes shot open completely. "Mmmmmmphhhh!!!" The swollen superhero moaned through the vine in his mouth. "That's a good lad!" I said chuckling, "you're ripening up so well! I told you that there was fruit on this vine. You just happen to be the fruit!" With that I jumped off of Clark's huge belly and took a few steps back to admire the huge superberry I had created. Laying on his back, he was almost completely round now, with only fat blue fingers sticking out of the sphere he'd become. As he woke up he tried in vain to wriggle his puffy blue digits and roll himself forward. "Mmmhhhmpph Huuhhhlp!!!" "Don't stress yourself out, big guy!" I said, "you're not totally ripe yet!" I was impressed by how well his spandex suit had handled his inflation. The blue fabric was incredibly tight, but hadn't ripped anywhere. The waistband of his red briefs wrapped all around his circumference, and the bulge in them looked like an elongated weather balloon. His balls were easily bigger than watermelons, and a dribble of blue pre-cum was oozing through the spandex of his red briefs at the tip of his huge cock. By now he was at least eight feet wide, and still expanding. I walked back up to the blueberry superhero and pushed my hands against his swelling side. I could feel his skin getting tighter underneath the straining spandex. With a forceful shove I began to roll Clark forward, gradually pushing and maneuvering his enormous body until he had flipped over and was resting on his belly. His head was fixed in place about five feet above the ground, while the rest of his body rose another five feet higher. The Superman insignia in his chest was massively distorted, but still refused to rip as he ballooned into a ten foot ball. Clark looked up at me with pleading eyes. Clearly Superman was not used to being helpless. "Mmmmhpppph pwweesshhh!" Clark moaned through the vine. "Heessshh gonnnaaa exxxhhhplooode!" Barry yelled. "Hmmm he is looking pretty full!" I said, sizing up the superberry who was swelling past 11 feet. "Maybe you're ripe enough."

I motioned for one of my workers to come over to the inflated superberry. He brought with him a large pair of pruning shears, and in one smooth motion he cut the vine that was pumping juice into Clark’s throat. The vine fell lifeless to the ground as deep blue juice poured out of the ends where it had been cut. With that, Clark abruptly stopped growing. I then reached up and gently pulled the vine out of Superman’s mouth. There were almost five feet of vine reaching deep inside the blueberry, and it had split into several branches as it filled him up. It took almost a minute to pull all of the coiled juicy vines out of his mouth. “Must feel good to have that out of you, Clark!” I said, dropping the dripping blue vines into a pile on the ground beneath his face. “Wha- what ha-have you done to m- me?” Clark stammered through his bloated cheeks. I stood right to the side of his face and gently rubbed my hands through his jet black hair. He couldn’t turn his head as his body had swollen up around his neck and fixed his blue face in place. “Well you seem to have accidentally turned into a blueberry! I told you things in here were highly experimental. You shouldn’t have gotten so close.” “H-horse shit!!!” Clark yelled! “You fiend! You d-did this to me on purpose! Y-you did this to all of us on p-purpose!” “Calm down, big boy,” I chuckled, continuing to rub his hair. “N-NO!” Clark yelled, struggling to move his enormous round body, “You may h-have b-blown me up, but you f-forgot one thing!” Suddenly a blast of blue laser light shot out of Superman’s eyes. The blue beam struck the worker who had cut the vine directly in his chest. But the worker wasn’t burned or cut. Instead he fell to the ground, dazed. “Wha- bu-but. My heat vision?!” Clark yelled. “I feel fuuuunnnny.” The worker who had been hit with the lasers muttered. Suddenly in seconds the worker’s face turned blue, and his body began to bloat and expand. He inflated as if he was a balloon hooked up to a powerful pump. Soon his straining grey rubber suit burst off his ballooning body, leaving him a naked blue ball wearing only black goggles and black gloves. He stopped expanding when he hit about 7 feet wide. The fresh blueberry rolled onto his back and squirted a big blast of juice from his engorged blue cock. “Well at least you’ve gained the power to turn guys into big fat blueberries!” I laughed, “and don’t worry about that worker, I was planning to blow him up next week anyway. I’ll just make sure I don’t walk directly in your sightlines, Clark. Good thing you can’t turn your head.”

Epilogue

It took ten workers to roll and maneuver the five inflated superheroes to the main gate of the factory, a task which was not helped by the fact that Clark used his laser vision to blow three of them up into big round blueberries. I think he was just being spiteful. His blue lasers missed me by a couple inches each time. I then walked up to my office as the five heroes were rolled out of the main gate for all the reporters and fans to see. They must have been shocked, The Flash was now a fat blimp full of whipped cream, Green Lantern had become a huge pink bubblegum bubble with a fat pink cock popped out of his suit, Batman was a tightly inflated shrunken ball with a pinhead, Nightwing was a fat moaning balloon full of cum, and Superman was an enormous juicy blueberry. One of my workers read a quick statement to the press denying all liability and asserting the Superhero’s responsibility for their own actions. Then they slammed the gate shut and left the five blimps with the crowd. I have to say, this tour went better than I could ever have imagined! The world's most powerful superheroes have all been neutralized, and there is no one to stand in the way of my plan for world domination! Anyone who opposes my new DoubleDub world order will quickly find themselves blown up like Clark, Hal, Bruce, Barry, and Dick. What idiots these spandex-wearing meat heads were. I truly am the world's greatest super villain!

[sebbystanimagines]

Prompt: … just read it … part 2

Warning: Suggestive themes, I guess.

Author’s Note: Part 2 is here! Maybe this’ll be a series…?

The next few days were rather…awkward. With new truths revealed, no one could look at each other, and the only person who could look at Y/N was Bucky.

Stark’s fixer was a party with tons of alcohol. He wanted to get plastered in a social situation with other people as well. No one complained. They were all in the same boat.

Y/N stood before her closet, looking for something nice to wear. She kept her clothes fairly modest, but tonight she wanted to be a good looking woman. The last few days had been turtlenecks and jeans, bun-hair, glasses…things that just made her feel unattractive. Covering her body was her apology for who she was and what she did.

Tonight would be different though. Y/N started getting ready as soon as she woke up. She would step out of the shell for the night. It would be there for her when she woke up tomorrow.

Her dress was a burgundy sheath dress, straps being the only thing on her back. The heels were tall and so was her confidence. Y/N would be the girl with her head held high.

Music could be heard from the elevator. Y/N grew a bit more excited just knowing she would get to join the fun tonight. She would finally be apart of the team.

Y/N’s eyes flitted around, trying to find someone to talk to. She wanted to talk to Bucky first, but he was the only person she had really talked to the last few days. Maybe Natasha?

Natasha and Steve stood by one of the windows, talking about who knows what. Y/N approached with a smile and a drink taken from the bar.

“Hey guys. Mind if I bother you?” She pulled out her best smile. It got her fairly far.

Natasha looked to Steve, who happened to be looking at Y/N’s chesticle area. The redhead cleared her throat to catch his attention. Steve quickly looked up and nodded.

“Sure. We’d love to have you join us.” Steve assured Y/N. It would be fine!

… right?

Y/N smiled through the whole thing. Though soon, she realized Steve directed most of his talking to Natasha. Y/N felt like Ross when Carol and Susan hooked up. She was on the side, just watching. She tried to answer but it was dismissed. It took a bit before she cut in.

“I, did I do something wrong? You didn’t have to say yes to talking to me if it’s just gonna be ignoring me.” Y/N didn’t often stick up for herself. What was in this drink?

“You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s…it’s just….” Steve seemed to be at a loss, finding the right words. He looked to Natasha for help.

“Talking to you gets him horny. All of them, really.” The comment wasn’t snide, it was the truth. Her previous occupation had really bit her in the ass. Y/N looked to Steve to see if it was true. When he didn’t meet her eyes, she shook her head.

“Is that why no one is talking to me?” Her heart broke a bit. Y/N was a nice girl, a fun person. Why couldn’t they look past her voice?

No one said a thing, and that was enough for her. Y/N said a soft thank you before walking off to another group of Avengers.

The results were the same across the board. Y/N was hurt more than anything else. She didn’t want to be here anymore if that was how it was going to be.

“Can I get a long island iced tea?” Y/N asked once at the bar. She felt someone stand beside her.

“Make that two, and make those full doubles.” Bucky thanked the bartender then looked to Y/N.

“You look like someone ran over your turtle.” The comment didn’t make her feel any better. Tears welled up in her eyes. Here come the waterworks.

“No one wants to talk to me because I make them horny!” Y/N was often told she had the Kim K crying face. Bucky could confirm that now.

“They want to talk to you. It’s just that you make their pants tight, and it makes things very inconvenient. Plus that dress sure ain’t helpin’.” Bucky pointed to her dress before taking the drink he ordered. He handed the other to Y/N. She let out another sob.

“Sorry I wanted to feel good! Is that such a goddamn problem?” She was angry, sad…honestly every emotion at the moment. Tears seemed like a good expression though.

Bucky took a long drink before putting the drink on the counter. “The fact that you look and sound good makes them scared. People aren’t open with what pleasures them, even when they scream it out. What makes you horny?”  

‘You.’ Y/N thought on a whim. She had to think about something else though.

“Hesitation. You’re scared to say it. Now you know how they feel. Is it fair that they don’t talk to you? No, it’s a dick move. However, it is not malicious.” Y/N took a long, hard chug of her drink. She had stopped the tears.

“Then why do you talk to me? If I’m just a sex piece, then shouldn’t you be buttering me up or something?” Y/N hiccuped softly. Bucky shook his head.

“You know how I feel about you. While my feelings for you are terrifying, it’s not the scariest thing I’ve faced. Y/N, I told you I masturbated to your voice the first time I called, during our first in-person conversation. It’s gonna take a lot more than a hot dress and you to scare me.”

Y/N sniffled, snot starting to leak. Talk about a boner killer. She was such a mess, physically and mentally. If only the team could see that about her.

Bucky locked his hand in her’s. He pulled her off the chair. “Let’s get you cleaned up. Tears bring another kind of awkward out in people.”  

The bathroom was surprisingly empty. Bucky closed the door to hide it all. Y/N was instructed to sit on the covered toilet. She watched Bucky grab a small hand towel.

“I don’t want them to be scared of me. I’m just like them. My favorite show is House Hunters, I wear contacts because I ruined my eyes reading, my favorite food is an Italian sub. I…I’m just a human like them.” Y/N watched Bucky kneel before her, wiping away the streaks of mascara with the wet hand towel.

“They know. It’s just going to take some time for them to adjust. You just be you and pray to god that they see you for you.” Bucky was a straight-forward kind of man. Y/N had realized that from the third phone call.

Y/N sighed softly. She was buzzed and her head hurt. “I think I’m going to turn in early. Thanks for everything.”

Bucky helped her up, putting the towel on the counter. Y/N hugged him out of nowhere.

“When you asked what made me horny, it only took one word to sum it up.” Y/N hugged him a little tighter.

“You.”

Y/N was gone the next second, leaving Bucky alone in the bathroom. That was a chunk of information he had to swallow, and she didn’t want to be around when he did.

#Liv #Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebby stan #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #Buck Barnes #marvel #marvel imagine #sebastian stan imagine #bucky barnes imagine