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#had to dump this some where
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“What do you want?” Scott asks as he stares at the lawn just in front of the porch where he and Theo are sat.
Here we go again. “For the last time because you idiots keep bringing it up,” Theo starts saying while rolling his eyes. “I’m not planing on backstabbing you or killing you, and quite frankly I don’t want to part of this pathetic attempt of a pack.” Look, Theo gets the worry and concern, but at this point it’s beyond frustrating trying to repeat over and over again that he is in fact not up to anything.
It’s quite shocking even to himself, that he’d somehow became a normal— as close to normal as he can get anyways— person in the last few months. A rehabilitated murderer, Liam likes to call him. Domesticated was used more than once by Mason.
“That’s not what I asked” Scott responds with a softer tone, his eyes crinkling slightly; an effect of the gentle smile he offers. “What do you want?” He asks one more time.
The question continues to ring in Theo’s mind on loop, because truth be told he isn’t really sure anymore. He knows what he wanted before. What the past him who was fuelled by anger and passion, and an insatiable need to be something—to be someone— outside of the dread doctors puppet wanted. He knows he wanted the power that came from pack, but somewhere in the deep scars of his heart, he wanted to belong. That had always been the goal, even if he’ll never admit it to himself.
The whole alpha thing wouldn’t hurt either, and from his life experiences, he didn’t know any other way to get what he wanted. Between being a failed science experiment, or a make believe version of a boy, Theo never really had the time to make friends or even learn how to do so anyway, so it’s no surprise that his perception of companionship was to be viewed through the lense of hierarchy and control, rather than loyalty and trust.
But that’s all irrelevant,because from the moment Kira’s sword struck the ground and Theo rose from the dust of his personal nightmare, his entire life would never be the same.
Now though? What does he want? He’s never genuinely been asked that before. Scott asks him like it’s a simple question but here Theo is, having a midlife crisis over it regardless.
Theo doesn’t believe he has the right to want; not after his past actions since he’d met the dread doctors. And more importantly, what he wants isn’t something he can have. Someone he can have. No matter how many sleepless nights he spend staring at the roof of his truck, thinking of ocean blue eyes and soft strands of hair he wishes to run his fingers through, he knows he’ll never have that. But oh does it comfort the hallow feeling in his chest.
An angry beta who he always finds himself being around, intentionally or not, like he’s some compass and Liam is always north that he points to. Theo finds him like a moth finds a flame. Like it’s natural, almost. He’ll always find Liam just like he did in the elevators or during the wild hunt, and Liam will always find him. But still, Theo will never get to have him.
Maybe he doesn’t get to have Liam—not in all the ways he wants him—but that will never deter from taking whatever Liam gives him, no matter how small. He’ll have to make do with what he gets; just like he always has done.
After what has definitely been the longest moment of awkward silence he can remember, Theo finally responds. “It doesn’t matter.”
Scott shakes his head, mostly to himself rather than at the dissatisfaction with Theo’s answer. “You and I both know that’s not true.” Neither of them says anything after that for a moment, and instead let Scott’s words linger in the delicate vacuum that had formed around them since they started talking.
Eventually though, Scott stands from where he sat next to Theo on his front porch and starts to make his way back into the house. Though just before he steps forward to shut the door, he turns around one last time to Theo. “You really should tell him. He deserves to know”.
(I don’t know why I wrote this tbh and Idek if it makes sense. Either way I thought I’d just post it instead of leaving it in the drafts lol. I know no one’s gonna see this, but I just had to. If I made typo, no didn’t)
*also this is the first fic snippet I’ve ever written so be nice pls 🤠
UPDATE= I finally got around to writing the rest of this on ao3 (the things we won’t let ourselves say)
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wistfullywaiting2 · 27 days
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The biggest misconception in the bsd fandom ever to me is people constantly portraying Atsushi as someone who trauma dumps excessively when he canonically barely talks about it at all.
The entire point is that Atsushi does not talk about his trauma he’s just constantly thinking about/reliving it. He can’t escape the memories of his past so he tries not to acknowledge them.
He only mentions it when asked, either directly or when someone asks him to explain himself.
Atsushi doesn’t even give a cohesive explanation for what he saw while under Dogra Magra, he just apologizes to Haruno and Naomi.
If Lucy hadn’t had her whole “you’ve never suffered the way I have” spiel then I doubt even the audience would’ve gotten to find out about his scars
If Akutagawa never asked him how it felt for the orphanage headmaster to die Atsushi would have never told him that he’s been hallucinating.
In the omake where Kyoka asks him why his hair is like that it’s clear he wouldn’t have told her that unless she had asked.
In 55 minutes Atsushi very briefly mentions sleeping on a dirty floor somewhere to Kunikida because he was trying to explain and justify his behavior.
And the thing is that there are scenes that implies that the other characters see Atsushi behaving strangely and are visibly confused because they do not understand what’s wrong with him.
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Remember, we as an audience get to see things about characters that the main cast doesn’t. Just because we see into Atsushi’s mind doesn’t mean the other characters know what’s going on in there.
Also little footnote here that I think the scenes with Lucy and Akutagawa in specific are probably references to the moon over the mountain but I digress
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bruhstation · 3 months
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can't it even be more obvious thomas. why are you surprised that a sudrian historical site filled to the brim with armor and weaponry that dates back to the middle ages has old people afflicted with the gold dust working around the castle
#thomas the tank engine#thomas and friends#ttte glynn#ttte millie#ttte stephen#casa tidmouth#senjart#MORE OF LADY'S EXPERIMENTS GONE WRONG#WHO UP ULFSTEADING THEIR CASTLE#stuff for the kotr arc of casa tidmouth. now this is where gold dust has historical significance#going crazy right now. my friends are influencing me#I had 12 tabs opened just to draw young glynn's armor. they dont have plated armory in the 10th century!!!! only mails!!!!!!#(looking at you KOTR intro)#I remember reading some inputs on my 1k milestone poll and saw someone put ''the misery of growing old'' and honestly. Checks out#glynn's eyes are goldish brown because well. that's the perks of being the first bearer of the gold dust horrors#lady during 989 AD do not know anything about human thoughts and ethics and emotions. she was literally freestyling that!!!!!#Oh a wounded soldier on the verge of death. what if I *dumps 200 kg of gold dust on him* yeah that'll do the trick.#then she saw how glynn aged so so slowly and went Oh well I messed up. Good thing there are lots of other sudrians here#funny coincidence that young cstm glynn's helmet resembles canon glynn's funnel#I wanted to make millie's design resemble a tour guide more with her scarf and more stylish than usual tie#shes so pretty. I'm so proud of her design#(AND I REALIZED TOO LATE THAT HER TIE HAS THE COLORS OF THE FRENCH FLAG)#<--- said the guy who has beef with the french#stephen's crown is translated to a hat decor! was about to draw a top hat but whatever just imagine he has a collection of various hats#that he can put his crown on#also I want to give him that cool hip-with-the-kids I-am-still-young-at-heart energy#sir robert norramby is balling in the background.#hope you enjoy..... won't be able to draw as much from now on but I'm excited#also whos ready for old man yaoi........... 2!!!!!!
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Mutuals!!! Beasties!!!
We went to an antique mall today for my birthday and look at what I found!!
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The whole top floor was full of vintage toys and dolls/Barbie’s, I wanted to buy everything 😭
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kil9 · 8 months
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everyone agrees that the patriarchy teaches men to hide their emotions, and that this is a bad thing, so why is it that when men actually show an emotion everyone jumps to call him an abuser or manipulator or whatever :\
#99.txt#im so sick of this#you all have no faith in people. you just see the word boyfriend or he pronouns and go !!ABUSER!! DUMP HIM! and dont see how there could be#any negative reprocusions of that................#i still cant forget that ANONYMOUS message where someones boyfriend was worried they were cheating. & the person who got the ask was like#''wow HE'S definitely the one cheating.''#on an ANONYMOUS message ????? how could you possibly say that with confidence with ZERO information ?#some guy was worried and thats what you have to say ????? and you act like you have no hand in men supressing themselves ?#someone who might have had mental health problems or have been cheated on before and been hurt. like.#whoa call me a red flag or whatever for saying this but. no one would say that if it was a woman ! no one !#we all have a hand in society and we all have a hand in the patriarchy and if you dont get your head out of your ass and wise up#then ur just gona get more people hurt#i know circumstances are different sometimes but you actually DO need to consider how you would feel if the tables were turned !!!!#if you still feel the same thats fine ! it was a good thought exercise !!!#but you need to consider these things even if they are uncomfortable to you 🤨 in order to challenge your mind#this is how we get those bullshit ''crying is a manipulation tactic 🥺'' takes#im SICK OF IT !!!!!! everyone use your brain NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#stop assuming everyone is the worst person NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Spike Edition
[1] [2] [3] ⭐️ 4 ⭐️ [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16]
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brehaaorgana · 4 months
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People joke about ADHD all the time, even swear up and down they totally think they also have it, but then if you ask for an accommodation, to please please please provide things in fucking writing, EXACTLY what they want and need, you will even work it out WITH them, like they promised they would do — repeatedly over and over, and then you don't get it people really will fucking be like:
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I am using the incorrect bathroom (TM) to place my shelving and store my things. Homegirl literally removed various sundries and toiletries from a CLOSED CABINET and SHELF because she's interested in boundaries and accountability for my mess.
I said months ago I wanted to improve things for her comfort level and needed a written list of what precisely that fucking looked like in order to achieve it and not miss anything she deemed important. I explained how ADHD works, why I needed a written reference. Why I had to have it laid out, and if something needed changing we needed to write it all out. I would've made the list myself, but they said they would make it for the whole house to hold up their end of things. And, thinking this was a very reasonable adult solution to keeping the house in good shape, I said okay, come up with the list of expectations and what is needed and that way we can update how we handle chores. Awesome. I will do that to uphold my end.
No list ever gets made or drafted or anything despite my bringing it up, knowing we need to do it, but I DO get berated for failing to meet expectations and boundaries that were never fucking provided or delivered and include "don't store toiletries in this particular bathroom because I don't like it."
I can't believe I am a goddamn adult who gets treated like an idiot child for expecting adult communication instead of snide ass passive aggressive bullshit and basic respect for my things.
Because when I fucking get home, my shelving has been removed and a cabinet emptied of my things and placed in the "correct" bathroom.
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
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Oh shit she solved it, this doesn't look cluttered at all!
What a vast improvement to storing things in appropriate storage!
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def-not-kaz-brekker · 4 months
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So uh I might have a crush on my best friend?? And I think he might like me back???
(Read tags for more details)
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dreamertrilogys · 3 months
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going into instagram comments is crazy it’s like seeing into a (much MUCH) worse alternate reality like You ppl live such unfathomably terrible lives to me….
#aside from the general everything they’re just so boring and miserable. Btw#sorry it’s just i’ve had insta on my phone lately (unfortunately i can’t delete it until the party ☹️) & every SINGLE time i see some sort o#reel and i’m like HA yknow what i think? and then everyone in the comments is saying the complete opposite thing#every single time without fail#the other day i saw a reel where a bartender dumped all the leftover stuff from the thing (idk what it’s called) into a cup and every1 in#the comments was like ugh yucky disgusting / yk ppl put even grosser stuff in their mouths like genitals. besides if it’s cleaned regularly#enough it should be fine / that’s a big IF. meanwhile i’m like Yum jungle juice 😋#also one time i saw ppl talking abt how they sleep in binders at sleepovers COME ON reddit is free transtape exists. please#<- these r like the worst examples ever but it’s ok#also like the insane casual misogyny. it’s so bad out here guys#.txt#ppl arguing in the comments like ‘that’s like 2k calories’ / ‘why r u being negative besides it’s only like 300 at max’ / ‘it’s not#negativity’ GUYS. WHAT THE FUCK. CALORIES ARE GOOD I <3 ENERGY???? YOUR BODY ALSO LOVES ENERGY. COME ON. BUTTER 4 LYFE BITCH#OH AND ONE TIME someone made vanilla extract and the comments were all panicked muslims like oh no im rethinking all my vanilla extract#buying GUYS do you or do you not eat bread. great now figure out the alcohol content of fermented yeast vs a drop of ethanol in a cake (that#is being baked anyway!)
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zikadraws · 1 year
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I've found the JPGs of an old OC doodle dump lost to "Accidentally-cut-my-file-in-half" I did on my tablet a while ago, and I don't really have any other stuff to post right now, so wellll here you go.
...Just so you'd see the type of OC bullshit my brain was on like three years from now.
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~Lo and behold, my technicolor acid trip~
I'm not even gonna bother trying to elaborate so huhhh if you want any context you can always ask ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Cheers
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dilfslayer1080p · 3 months
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Yo can any sims 4 players explain what's causing this bullshit? I turned G-man into a landlord and moved all my old hlvrai sims into his shitty apartment block. Everything is fine until I play as G-man. People just start walking into his apartment uninvited and start stealing his shit.
Mostly his kitchen surfaces, they are dismantling his kitchen piece by piece. I had to lock everyone out permanently because I couldn't stop the stealing and they refused to leave. I had to use the extreme violence mod to kill 3 of them. Help my boy know peace he doesn't even have a sink.
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bigfrogdraws · 7 months
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YOU WORRY TOO MUCH, YOU MAKE YOURSELF SAD
YOU CAN'T CHANGE FATE, BUT DON'T FEEL SO BAD
ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN, IT'S JUST LIKE THE WEATHER
WELL, SO QUIT COMPLAINING, BROTHER, NO ONE LIVES FOREVER
LET'S HAVE A PARTY, THERE'S A FULL MOON IN THE SKY
IT'S THE HOUR OF THE WOLF, AND I DON'T WANNA DIE
#macs doodles#oc: fadedheart#sorry this dude was me chewing up couches that how crazy i am rn#PLAY THE LIFEGEN MOD FOR CLANGEN ITS SO GOOOOOD#lore dump:#okay so fadedpaw was the medicine cat but was alligned with the dark forest#basically just learning the ropes that kinda thing#a morbidly curious guy#he would walk in the dark forest in his dreams with his brother- racoonpaw- because racoonpaw was a dream walker#and basically acted as fadedpaw's safety net in the dark forest#the two of them kept it a secret- fadedpaw curious about the dark forest and racoonpaw being deadly protective over fadedpaw#however during a particularly brutal leaf-bare night fadedpaw froze to death right there in his nest#and because of his journey's in the dark forest- thats where he was sent#the clan mourned- and moved on#but the dark forest had big plans for fadedpaw and didnt want to loose their greatest clawhold in the clan#so moons later- early spring- a ragged cat comes lumbering into camp#covered in dirt and thin as a twig#the whole clan is shocked and confused and some even scared#but racoonpaw- now racoontail- BEGS for fadedpaw to be allowed to return to the clan#slipstar reluctantly agrees and puts him back into his medicine cat training#logflare- the medicine cat and fadedpaw's old mentor- is cautious of fadedpaw's return but continues their training#and after just a halfmoon fadedpaw graduates- with logflare naming him fadedheart- a reminder of his past death#the clan can never decide what actually happened to fadedheart#some day he didnt actually die- and was buried alive on accident- and clawed his way out and somehow survived on his own#others day he did die but starclan brought him back- as it wasnt his time yet (close but not quite)#some even say that his spirit still dwells in starclan while his body roams the land of the living#as he is completely different from the fadedpaw they knew before his death#yeah but bascially he has this contract with the dark forest now- where they let him live in his clan again#but in return he was to do their bidding and train in the dark forest#and once he dies for good he has to return to the dark forest
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bragganhyl · 6 months
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how it started
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how it's going
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my boy really baldured the gate to say the least
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13eyond13 · 7 months
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For Spotty!
Send my muse an ❌ for them to say one regret that they have.
Spotty's ears droop back as she remembers the final mistake that made her decide to leave home. "I... Shouldn't've tried eating my human's candy..."
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yikes-ajax · 19 days
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Been a bit since I posted but I want everyone to know I started crocheting and now my cat has a mat and she now sits exclusively on the mat. She also gained like a billion pounds but y'know how it goes
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