#gonna use the blog to monitor my sickness this year

[renarots]

I bring a sort of cat throwing up on blankets vibes to the party

#I am a sickly child #I feel like throwing up #first sickness of the year wooo #gonna use the blog to monitor my sickness this year #renarambles

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 19}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

A/N: Well, we promised a chapter today, so we decided to follow through on that. Even if we did post a surprise chapter last night. Oh, well. Enjoy! 🙃✨

Cassian sighed as he opened his eyes.

Another year older, another year wiser.

Well.

Another year older, anyway.

He blinked as he looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand. 7:58. Two minutes before his alarm would have gone off.

He hated when that happened, when his mind woke him up just before his alarm went off. There was no time to go back to sleep, it was perfect sleeping time wasted.

It was bullshit.

With a yawn, Cassian swung his legs over the side of his bed and got up. He stumbled to his dresser and pulled on a pair of sweatpants, just in time for his alarm to go off.

“Fuck you,” he muttered, quickly turning it off before flinging open his bedroom door.

It smelled delicious.

He meandered down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Nesta was icing a giant cake.

Her eyes darted to his.

He blinked.

“Get out!” she ordered.

“What the hell are you-.”

“Out!” she ordered, yet again.

Nyx babbled something at the top of his lungs that closely resembled, YEAH!

He did as he was told, blearily blinking as he stumbled back into the living room. He dragged a hand down his face. “Can I at least have some coffee?”

“In a minute!” She called and he heard quick footsteps, followed by the back door opening and closing. It opened again and she said, breathlessly, “Okay. You can come in now.”

Tentatively, Cassian rounded the corner and he found Nesta placing a platter of cinnamon rolls on the counter in place of the—

“Where did the cake go?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

Nesta was lifting a cinnamon roll onto each of the plates in front of her, cutting the one for Nyx into tiny bites for him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He blinked again, half-wondering if he’d imagined the decorated monstrosity he’d seen on the counter, but he sniffed, smelling the air again.

It mostly smelled like the sweet and spicy scent of cinnamon, but—

No, that was definitely cake he smelled.

“Right…” he said, pulling forks out of the silverware drawer and setting one next to each plate. “You’re up early.”

“Had a lot to do before renovations start this morning. I’m meeting Helion and the contractor at the restaurant at nine.” She sipped her own coffee, not looking at him. Mixing truth and lies, it seemed, since he knew she was meeting the contractor this morning. As for a lot to do, he knew everything at the restaurant was already taken care of. She cleared her throat. “I wasn’t expecting you to be up so early either.”

Cutting into the gooey cinnamon roll, he said, “I gotta be at the bar in an hour. I’m talking with Kallias this morning before my shift starts.”

She set her coffee down and finally looked at him. “You have to work today?”

“Yeah,” he replied, popping the bite of pastry into his mouth. He resisted the urge to moan. “It’s Tuesday. I always work on Tuesdays.”

She hesitated, deciding whether she should speak or not. “But it’s your birthday.”

He couldn’t stop his smirk. He knew there had been a cake.

“And who told you that?” He asked, leaning over to wipe Nyx’s face off. The poor kid had icing all over his face, all the way up into his hair.

“That’s not important,” she said.

“Elain, then,” Cassian went on with a grin.

Nesta pretended like she hadn’t heard him and took a giant bite of her cinnamon roll.

“I’ll take Nyx with me to the bar,” Cassian said. “Viviane texted. She has the stomach flu.”

Nesta cringed. “That sucks. I...wait - you’re taking a baby to a bar?”

Cassian shrugged. “He’ll be fine. I only have to stay until two or so.”

“A baby,” she repeated, blinking. “To a bar.”

“You prefer to take him into a construction zone?” Cassian asked. “One that you’re in charge of? That sounds stressful.”

Nesta’s eyes narrowed. “I can ask Elain to watch-.”

“I’m taking him with me and he’ll be fine,” Cassian said, shaking his head. “I promise.”

Nesta narrowed her eyes. And he held up both hands. “I promise,” he repeated.

“Fine. But call me if you need to and I’ll come get him,” she sighed, shaking her head. “I’ll be in my office most of the day, so it’s not like he’ll be running around in a construction zone.”

“And I’ll take the carrier and physically wear him all day, so it’s not like he’ll be running around the actual bar.”

Nesta groaned. “Fine. Fine. But take the pack-n-play, his monitor and toys. He can entertain himself well enough.”

“Okay,” Cassian nodded, finishing off his cinnamon roll. He pulled Nyx out of his high chair, who was now playing with and wearing most of his food, rather than eating it, and said, “I’ll give him a bath while you get ready.”

“Okay.” He was nearly in the living room when he heard, “Cass?” He turned and looked back at her, still not completely used to the familiar nickname from her. She was blushing slightly. “Happy birthday.”

Smiling, he said, “Thanks,” and turned to head up the stairs.

Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad after all.

*

“Any birthday plans?”

“You’re looking at it.”

Kallias chuckled as he observed Cassian, a wiggly baby strapped to his chest, counting the liquor bottles that lined the wall.

“How old are you anyway?” he continued, wiping down the bartop. “Thirty? Thirty-one?”

“You wound me,” Cassian muttered, scribbling a number down on his clipboard, not bothering to tell Kallias just how close to thirty he was getting to.

“I would say we should do shots to celebrate your big day,” Kallias began, taking Nyx’s outstretched hand. “But, I think your little housewife would disapprove.”

Cassian snorted. “If Nesta Archeron ever heard you call her such a thing, you’d lose a very important body part.”

“Not interested in that, thank you very much,” he muttered. “She ever gonna stop in, so I can see this terrifying woman you’ve told me about?”

“About that…” Cassian pulled Nyx out of the carrier and carried him into the back office, setting him down in the play pen. Grabbing the baby monitor, he made his way back into the front room.

Kallias looked up from where he was cutting limes at the bar. “About what?”

He leaned a hip on the bar and crossed his arms over his chest. “Nesta is going to be expanding the restaurant, adding a bar. That’s actually where she is right now, why I’ve got the kiddo with me. Didn’t really want him in a construction site.”

“Hot nanny couldn’t keep him?” Kallias asked, grinning.

Cassian rolled his eyes. “No, she’s sick. But, uh-.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m gonna be leaving and going over there, managing for her.”

Kallias eyes widened. “Oh. Shit.”

“Yeah. And I’d like you to come over there with me. Be my assistant manager at the new place.”

Kallias stopped cutting, mid-lime. “You do realize we are two out of five people that work here, right?”

Cassian nodded, slowly. “Yeah, I do. And I also know we can hire more people here.”

Kallias looked back down at his half-cut lime. “Assistant manager, huh?”

“It’s in a great part of town, we’d get amazing tips on top of already being paid more,” Cassian said. “It’s an amazing opportunity.”

“So I’d be stupid to say no, then?” Kallias asked, continuing to cut his limes.

“Incredibly stupid,” Cassian agreed.

Nyx’s happy babbling came through on the baby monitor.

“I’ll think about it,” Kallias said, at last.

“Think about it, then tell me yes, because I’m not going there without you,” Cassian said.

Kallias snorted. “You’re a shitty liar. You’re going, whether I go or not.”

“And why wouldn’t you come with me?” Cassian asked, facing his friend. He and Kallias had worked together for years, since Kallias came in at twenty-one, during his senior year of college. “You want to be stuck in this dive bar forever? I know you. You’re a creature of habit. If I leave you here, you’ll be here for the next twenty years.”

Kallias didn’t bother telling him it wasn’t true. He just shook his head. “I guess we better start interviewing people, then.”

*

The day did not go as planned. Cassian had to stay and help out until nearly five-thirty, and by the time Cassian walked in the front door, Nyx was knocked out cold in his car seat. He gently set it down and unbuckled him, carrying him into the kitchen. It smelled divine, like roasting herbs and cooked veggies, even if he couldn’t see anything radiating the delicious smells.

Nesta was also nowhere in sight, so he took Nyx up to his nursery and laid him down, setting the baby monitor back up where it usually sat. He slipped the screen in his back pocket and made his way back downstairs, hurrying out to his truck to get Nyx’s diaper bag and the folded up playpen.

As he was setting it back up in the living room, he heard the sliding glass door open and close and made sure he was making enough noise to alert Nesta of his presence.

“You’re home,” she said, leaning on the doorway. “Nyx asleep?”

“Out like a light,” he said, tossing the few toys he’d brought with him back into the pen. “He had fun though.”

“Good. Dinner is almost done,” she smiled. “I hope you’re hungry.”

“Starving,” he sighed and took another deep breath in. “It smells amazing.”

Turning, Nesta walked back into the kitchen. “Steak, garlic mashed potatoes, roasted carrots and green beans, and homemade rolls.”

He watched as she took the carrots and green beans out of the oven and placed them next to a plate of steak she must have just brought in from the grill.

Cassian’s mouth was damn near watering.

He looked at the spread as she spooned the mashed potatoes onto his plate. “I think I’m in love with you.”

Nesta tensed, then something like nervous laughter sputtered out of her mouth. “Well, I had to cook red meat for you on your birthday.”

“Does that mean you’ll be having yourself a steak, Archeron?” he asked, taking the full plate from her outstretched hands.

She gave him an amused look. “Hell no. You get both. I have a chicken kabob on the grill.”

Cassian licked his lips as he took his plate to the table. “Consider me a lucky man. Thank you.”

“Of course,” she said, clearing her throat. She piled her plate high with potatoes and veggies before going onto the deck and coming back with a grilled chicken kabob on her plate. She sat across from him. Cassian’s mouth was already full.

“How is it?” Nesta asked, cutting up a carrot before popping it into her mouth.

“Delicious,” Cassian said, mouth full. “So good.”

“If you don’t slow down, you won’t be able to enjoy the flavor,” Nesta said, knowing full well that he wouldn’t listen. Cassian practically inhaled everything on his plate within minutes.

He moaned, stretching back in his chair before running a hand through his hair. “I must say, Nes, you really outdid yourself.”

“Well, it was the least I could do after you worked and were on baby duty all day,” she said, popping a few green beans in her mouth.

They talked about their days as she finished eating. He told her about Kallias’ agreement to move to the restaurant, she told him about the beginning of construction.

They’d kept half the restaurant open, putting up a temporary wall to keep as much noise and dust out as they could, but the sooner the build was done the better. They both agreed on that.

“So, despite your switch with the cinnamon rolls this morning,” Cassian said from where he sat as she rinsed off their plates, “I’m fairly sure I saw a cake when I came downstairs.”

“Really now,” she said, and he saw the small smile on her face.

“Mhmm,” he nodded. “And, you know, I like cake.”

“And why, exactly, would I make you a cake?” She crooned, that little smile remaining.

“Because I’m the world's best roommate and uncle, obviously,” he said.

Nesta laughed as she stood. “Yeah, whatever.”

After exiting through the back door, she returned a moment later with a big, homemade cake.

It was exquisite.

Perfectly decorated and topped with vanilla and buttercream frosting, it read Happy birthday, Cassian!

As Nesta placed it on the countertop, Cassian asked, “Nesta, when the hell did you find time to make this?”

She shrugged. “Stayed up later and got up early. Didn’t have to be too early since you decided to sleep in today, but…” Her words trailed off. “I figured it was the least I could do.”

His mouth tightened, emotion he wasn’t expecting hitting him and he cleared his throat. “You gonna sing to me?” He asked, cracking a joke to break the tension that was slowly growing.

Nesta threw her head back and laughed. “Absolutely not.”

Cassian bit back his retort and the monitor in his back pocket went off, crying coming from upstairs.

“I’ll get him,” she said, standing up. “I’m sure he’s hungry. Will you cut up green beans and carrots for him?”

He nodded, the cake forgotten as he did what he was told, and Nesta returned with a bleary-eyed Nyx a few minutes later.

“Hi buddy,” Cassian said, chuckling at Nyx’s hazy expression. He was already sitting at the table with a plate of cut up food.

The second Nyx saw the display, he was whining and reaching for it.

“Slow down, you need to be buckled into your seat first,” Nesta said, shaking her head.

“I can’t blame him,” Cassian said, as Nyx was strapped into his high chair. “I’m starving when I wake up, too.”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Men.”

The second Nyx’s diapered butt hit the seat, he was stuffing his mouth.

“I guess we should wait for him to eat the cake,” Cassian said, looking longingly at the cake.

Nesta chuckled. “No patience?”

“When it comes to homemade baked goods?” Cassian scoffed. “No.”

She snorted, which had Cassian raising an eyebrow. She looked at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” he replied, shaking his head. “That was just…cute.”

Nesta didn’t reply, but he swore she could see her cheeks heating as she turned to put the leftovers from dinner away.

Once Nyx’s plate was cleared, Nesta cut three slices of cake. One was barely a sliver, one was mostly icing and one was damn near a quarter of the cake. She took the one with extra frosting for herself, placing the small one in front of Nyx and the larger one in front of Cassian.

Again, Nyx wasted no time scarfing it down. Cassian didn’t either, helping himself to another, much smaller piece afterwards, but not touching it yet.

“You sure you don’t want to sing to me?” He asked, taking a bite of the cake. “It would complete my day.”

Nyx, an impending sugar crash, was already dozing again. Apparently, his day with Uncle Cassian had well and truly worn him out.

She rolled her eyes and wiped the excess cake off of Nyx’s face. Pulling him out of his high chair, she said, “No, I think I’m good.”

“I’m just saying,” Cassian pushed. “If you wanted to really wish me a happy birthday, a song would do.”

Nesta snorted, taking Nyx in her arms and swaying, back and forth. “You’ve never heard me sing.”

“If your singing is as good as your cooking, it must be amazing,” Cassian promised.

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Have I told you that you’re full of shit?”

Cassian pretended to debate it. “Maybe once or twice.”

Nesta chuckled, and said no more about it. “Finish your cake, Nazari. This little monster is ready for bed. I’ll put him down. It’s your birthday.”

It wasn’t that putting Nyx to bed was exhausting. Although sometimes it could be a chore, Cassian nodded and took another bite of his cake as Nesta and Nyx disappeared.

In their absence, Cassian cleared his plate.

The cake was delicious.

He knew Nesta was an amazing cook, but didn’t know that her baking skills were just as good. It was the best cake he had ever eaten. He was even considering getting himself a third piece, but decided against it as she rounded the corner back into the kitchen.

She sighed, falling into her chair. “That may have been record time to get him down. He was practically asleep before I’d even pulled the curtains shut.”

“He had a big day,” Cassian said, eyeing the piece of cake on her plate that she hadn’t even touched. “Taught him how to make a mojito. He’s a pro. Maybe we should hire him on at the bar.”

Shaking her head, Nesta cut into her cake and took a bite. She chuckled. “I’m sure that doesn’t violate any labor laws.”

“Nah, we’re his guardians,” Cassian said, waving a hand. “We can certainly get some free labor out of him.”

She rolled her eyes. “I honestly can’t tell if you’re kidding or not.” She took another bite of cake, and Cassian’s eyes dipped to her mouth. He was quiet for long enough that she asked, “What?”

He hesitated but said, “You’ve got a little—”

He didn’t finish his sentence, instead he leaned forward across the small space between them and swiped the frosting that was on the corner of her lips away with his thumb.

Nesta didn’t move.

She didn’t push him away, didn’t tell him to stop touching her, either.

Cassian’s thumb lingered against her lips, and when she looked up, he was already watching her, quietly.

She opened her mouth to say something.

What? She wasn’t sure.

But, when her lips moved, Cassian’s did, too.

He kissed her, softly, slowly, and Nesta melted right into it.

#snacmc lawki #snacmc collabs #snelbz tacmc collab #life as we know it #lawki #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep 15 Pt 1: The Gang Gets Lost in India

Ah, back to Yugioh classic. Sort of. We’re going into the second filler arc before Bakura, which I have been told is kind of nonsense. And youknow what, from the first scene--this is the first scene by the way--yeah I can see the nonsense.

We got Yami cosplaying as the Chrysler building, we got Yugi saying WTFWTF, we got...this thing?

This thing tells us “Join my game, Yugi!” and then the demon just kinda bounces.

K, bye, I guess.

(read more under the cut)

Waking up from this nightmare, Yugi reveals that he has outgrown his good pajamas. Or maybe he just overused them like I did to my favorite pajamas during quarantine (which, not gonna lie, I hand sewed my favorite pajama pants back together 2 or 3 times like they were the Velveteen Rabbit. Quarantine pajamas and me were like best buds for a year there.)

RIP Yugi’s good pajamas.

It’s fine. I’m fine.

I can get used to Yugi in his normal ass old man pajamas without any cute stars on them. I can accept this. He’s getting older. So much older that for a second I thought he was learning Hebrew, by the looks of his books on his counter. I thought...wow, is Yugi actually attempting to learn a language spoken around the time of ancient Egyptians???

But uh...I went a searching and unfortunately that’s not Hebrew, and if that is a language, I don’t know what it is. Pretty sure it’s just random marks because this show has to be translated in so many languages. Man. For a second there that looked like really sneaky world building, but nah, Yugi is still kind of a dumbass who has yet to attend a solid year of school.

Also, I got to take in this mustard yellow as if I’ve seen it for the first time.

It has strong building blocks energy. It’s...so much yellow and it’s extremely the vibe of that one set of animal crossing decorations that I have because it’s a very common recipe, but, can’t figure out for the life of me how to fit into any room.

What am I supposed to do with these, Nintendo? Other than recreate Yugi’s Muto’s haunted game store/house?

Like I live in the Bay area and we have wild painted houses so you can see them through the fog (back when we...still had fog, RIP California) --but this is a little much. This is such strong Protagonist energy but as a house.

Also, I’ve don’t think I’ve brought this up before, but like...Yugi is loaded, right? Like he’s way too good and humble to ever say he’s loaded, and they sort of make it seem like he’s not (when compared to Seto Kaiba) but damn, this location of his real estate sure is something. That and Grandpa’s tiny shop seems to run on a constant deficit and his family just doesn’t care.

We flash back a bit to Gramps sneaking out, and Yugi is like “oh great, my only Father figure I ever talk about is getting a backpack together and just...leaving without any notice, huh? Without telling me you were going to go? Didn’t think that would maybe be a little off putting?“ and Gramps is like “Yes?”

Like Gramps nearly died going to an amusement park a few episodes back so I can see why Yugi is a little bit concerned.

Down the street at a little town lottery, Joey is getting further into gambling (I don’t know what those little street lotteries are called, it’s in a lot of anime--but kinda looks like mom lotteries for moms.)

I’m not sure why India is on Joey Wheeler’s bucket list, seems a little random, but he went to Pegasus’ country, after all and that’s barely even a country.

Joey going nuts on a lottery machine instead of going to school was pretty peak filler, so I’m not really minding this stuff so far.

And then, just to spook me, check this out:

I can’t believe they even let them back into a classroom. In my nerd school, if you missed one too many days, you were sent to the bad schools to be someone else’s problem. But in Yugi’s case...that either IS his school or...Yugi is failing International School, which is just a thing he’s allowed to do, because, as I said before, this kid has got to be loaded. Even Seto Kaiba was like “I’m not spending money on this school anymore. That outfit is like 50 bucks a jacket.”

Youknow, I have seen all the other characters knock on Tea’s choice of cute ass monsters for the last 5 seasons, and she has never once changed them out. She is holding onto this scary seraphim thing with the many wings like every child with their first Pidgey. She does not care.

Also how is this thing cute?

like the front of this orb has a face with hearts on it but like...it is kind of remarkable what Yugioh decides is cute. Magma golem: not cute. this thing? This thing that looks like it’s a chibi version of the last chapters of the bible and will sound the trumpets of the second coming? So cuuuuute.

Tristan used to be the Janitor/hall monitor/square archetype. Like hell he can walk around with that 00′s R+B soundtrack.

Joey appears in order to get us the hell out of school, and the art team retires this school background for the rest of what I assume is this entire series.

Goodbye school. Maybe you’ll come back with Bakura. Which would be weird, since rumor is that arc takes place in ancient Egypt.

On their walk home, Tea lets out in an inner monologue that no one could hear that after 5 straight seasons of his BS, she’s sick and tired of Pharaoh being the center of attention all the time and she needs a freakin break.

TBH, as she was thinking in her head like “Pharoah is just so freakin much” Yugi switched over to Pharaoh and was like “WHATS UP TEA, THINKING ABOUT ME??” and I thought for a split second maybe he read her mind with his Pharaoh powers.

And like...maybe he did? Seems like a thing he can just do but chooses not to tell anyone about. I mean would you tell anyone? I wouldn’t.

So, unlike Miho in Season Zero, who at least had the decency to try to take her Mother to Australia, Joey Wheeler has wisely decided that the 3 other ticket holders will not be the 3 other members of his immediate family. That would have been the most awkward trip between Serenity, his mother he hasn’t really spoken to in 7 years, and his absent father who was written out of the series for being a raging alcoholic. They would have not even made it to the plane.

Instead he’s gonna take the ghost in Yugi’s head and call that an adult (two tickets in one, really). It’s honestly not that bad of a plan, since his only other father figure, Grandpa, is MIA, and his only other, other father figure, Roland, charges like 300 dollars an hour and wants stock options and health insurance.

And honestly they should have taken Roland because he’s one of their best plane guys.

So they take the smallest little Amelia Earheart plane in the world, going from Japan to (checks map) India...which 2 times the distance this plane can go and it crashes...which is exactly what would happen if you took a teeny tiny plane over the Himalayan mountains without refueling that thing.

We call this a magical incident later in the episode, but this is just basic math.

So, fun fact, (and probably why I discuss planes so often on this blog) two of my Grandfathers were pilots (well, three, since my grandmother remarried another pilot), which sounds like a crazy coincidence until you recall that their generation was in WW2 and we just shoved children in planes for 20 years and called that normal.

Anyway, to save on travel costs, my engineer Grandfather built his own plane out of junkyard parts, which, as you can imagine, is a living nightmare, and it was held together by like duct tape and gasoline (which at one time used to be cheap). Tempted God every day that Howls Moving Castle touched the sky.

And while I only know it from photos since I wasn’t exactly born yet, it looked exactly like this plane. So looking at this, all I can think is...yeah...that’s what you get for flying to India in a tin can car. To this day I cannot trust any plane of this size.

So, they climb out of their wreckage virtually unscathed and into familiar Californian territory.

At least Joey thought about bringing a tent.

It’s interesting how our cast has become so accustomed to this that they’re not even all that shell shocked. It’s just another day in the life.

So next time we shall find out what India has in store for us. Or if we’re even in India...because again...feels a lot like this BG team doesn’t do any research into their landscapes and every place feels a whole lot of the same. But...at least they didn’t put any Arizonan mesas in India.

#Yugioh #YGO #yu-gi-oh #recap #photo recap #S5 #Yugi Muto #Joey Wheeler #Tristan Taylor #Tea Gardner #School????? #A really ass plane #gambling #And a trip to India

[nightswithkookmin]

How do you think JK and JM have grown and changed this year? I was worried about the more professional Jikook recently, but the way they are now seems healthier- like there is balance and more peace in their bond. They are compromising and addressing each other’s needs (JM demonstrating his love for JK and flirting less; JK holding back for the sake of the group and JM's sanity). They seem happy. Plus, it’s nice to see the group members helping them be professional- especially Tae.

Absolutely! They are making compromises...

I was meant to work on a 'Jikook in 2020 Review' blog post at the end of the year but I got my nails done and I couldn't type shit with it. Lol. Should have stuck with my usual average length basic bitch nails but no, I had to go and be a baddie- edgy people. Sigh.

It's something I do in my Journal at the end of every year since 2014 where I summarize everything that's gone down with Jikook and my other ships in that year to help me keep track of their love journey and especially the timelines- yea, I take my delulu business seriously. I'm not ashamed. Lol.

I think the most outstanding and conspicuous growth development in Jikook's dynamics, to me, is their individual functioning and positive adaptive response to the changes that happened in and around their relationship in 2020- from Covid 19 to the monitored VLives and the whole professional outlook, cough cough.

While not surprising to me, because they had been on that trajectory since the later half of 2019 and had exhibited early signs of being capable of adjusting well, almost adjusting well lol, to any internal changes that could occur in their relationship dynamics, I sort of worried about them being thrown in at the deep end in the face of the abrupt and disruptive changes 2020 presented because of Covid 19.

Jikook since 2015 to me, have always exhibited codependent tendencies as well as a certain level of dysfunctionality in their dynamics with one or both of them enabling certain toxicities in the other.

I think that is the major thing that changed in 2020 in my opinion and I don't know if their personal growth journey contributed to it or the virus did, or that it's just we didn't get to see them interact in the usual settings that brings out all the lunacy in them. Lol.

Jimin for example had a habit of enabling JK's possessiveness and childish grunts and would reassure him whenever JK threw tantrums over anyone smiling funny at him. I mean reassuring your partner of your love and interest in him is good and ideal but not when your partner lowkey is unreasonable in his demands sometimes, chilee JK- what goes on. Lol.

Especially not when that same partner has no qualms doing shit like this:

But with JM I feel it goes deeper than that. I think I have mentioned in passing a few times now how I feel/felt JM was the noncommittal one in their dynamic and part of the reason I had that view was because Jimin to me had always conveyed an impression of JK that he is/was a bit childish and immature and that I think had always hindered him from fully investing in their dynamic in a way that makes JK secure.

But that too has changed especially towards the end of 2020.

I mean JM is very wise beyond his age, mature beyond his age as everyone around him keep saying. Contrastingly, they say the very opposite of Kook and they treat him as such, which is gotta be worrying for JM, I feel.

I've always been fascinated by JM's choice of words and descriptors for people- well not just JM's, all the members' quite frankly. Lol. He sees, for instance, Tae as innocent and naive, Joonie as thoughtful and JK as not good at expressing himself and his emotions.

These words are not just his assessment of their personalities, they are also testament to how he treats them or is likely to treat them- We treat people the way we see and perceive them.

If he sees JK as incapable of expressing his true intentions, he stands the risk of projecting his own intentions onto him and this is very dangerous. He could be reading more into situations, misunderstanding and misconstruing JK's intentions.

For example, he may he interpreting JK feeling uncomfortable with him being around others as a sign JK wants him for himself and as such use that to reassure himself whenever he is feeling vulnerable and insecure in their dynamic but in reality JK could just be expressing discomfort with watching two men interact intimately- JM would never know unless JK explicitly conveyed to him that seeing him with others worry him because he wants Jimin too. Know what I mean?

Similarly, if he perceives JK as immature and childish, no matter how accurate that may be, he risks developing an inclination to be dismissive of JK's needs- especially if JK really sucks at articulating his needs or asserting himself in their dynamics.

Seeing JM interact with others in a certain way may genuinely be his limits, but how is he gonna communicate that to Jimin beyound grunts and pouts if he sucks at expressing himself and if JM dismisses these grunts and tantrums he throws as childishness?

That's what I mean when I say there is a certain degree of dysfunctionality to Jikook's dynamics. But that too have changed or is changing- can't be sure till I see how they progress and interact in the future.

As I kept saying, Jikook had been asserting themselves against eachother in 2020 and JK was the embodiment of that.

But JK...

He has always given me the impression he's willing to do whatever it takes to prove himself as not only worthy of JM's love but also solidify himself as JM's equal in their dynamics, having been subjected to years of baby syndrome being the youngest within the group and having everyone treat him as such.

And so I have mixed feelings about this seemly 'progress' in him...

Not sure if he is doing it for himself or for his relationship and God I hope it is for himself because as much as I enjoy the crazy aspect of their relationship, I hate it too.

I mean it's entertaining to watch sometimes but Jimlous and Jeonlous do make me sick in my stomachs- yea, I have four at this point. Fucking Christmas chicken. Lol.

Not to say JM isn't as invested in or committed to JK as JK is to him. Just saying there's always been something holding him back in their dynamics for whatever reason, in my opinion, and Jk it seems have always had the impression he can 'win' if he tries. So he is constantly pushing the boundaries and testing the limits- and that I feel is his yoke.

I used to look at him and felt sorry for him because he was young and he was being pushed to grow so fast but I also understand Jimin because he is much older than his boyfriend and he wouldn't want to be unequally yoked to him, as the saying goes- especially if he equally has to relinquish control to him and have him lead him as his lover and partner.

I feel a lot of Jokers get confused about who is dom and all that jazz, partly because JM is not ceding to JK the way JK relinquishes control to JM in their dynamics and is holding back a lot- that's what I mean when I say he is not fully into their relationship.

Jimin holds a lot of power in their dynamics and a lot of people see that and describe him as top, dom, power bottom and whole other sobriquets but I don't think any of those descriptors is apt.

Because as much as he holds a lot of power in their dynamics, he is in the same breath powerless and at the mercy of JK as JK is to him. The one with the power to me is the one that can walk away and It's neither JK nor Jimin.

As assertive as JK has been all year, he will cave if it meant JM was to walk away. And as demanding as JM has been of JK's maturity, he will settle if it meant JK was to walk away.

Jimin to me is a paradox. He pushes JK to be 'mature' and be on the same page as him yet he equally enables the bad behavior in JK too- well he used to. He's changed since late 2019 and hasn't been tolerant of JK's possessive behavior- which I think I've talked about a lot on here.

It certainly doesn't help that JM has this view of 'JK is just bad at expressing his emotions.' With that kind of mentality, he is more likely to let JK get away with a lot of things without pushing him to be better and that in itself is a form of enabling.

As the youngest within the group, he already stand the risk of being enabled within the group dynamics as his bad behavior is always going to be excused and dismissed as stemming from his age.

You often hear RM and the members talk about how he is the youngest, he is going through a teenage rebellious phase, let's give him a pass because he is the youngest, he doesn't speak much so we value the least he says, he doesn't return his texts, doesn't wish anyone a happy birthday on their birthday's but we will for him anyway, chilee. There is too much enabling going on in there.

As harmless as these rhetorics may be, they impact his attraction quotient and may make him less appealing to anyone within the group who may find him attractive in a sexual way psychologically speaking and sometimes I see that impacting Jimin. People want to date up not down.

Take when Hobi talked about JK peeping tom for example, Jimin didn't seem at all happy about it. I don't think he was jealous in that moment necessarily, more like he was disappointed and hurt.

JK has been doomed from the start as the baby of the group- I mean I've seen the men JM finds attractive... I don't think a 'baby' is what he wants.

Jk have always been on a mission to shed these descriptors off of him and assert himself within the group, for himself and for his relationship- as he should.

But 2020 has been the height of his self assertive journey and progress in my opinion. In Break the silence, the members talked about how JK has become more self aware particularly this year, and JK himself has spoken about and acknowledged his immaturity in the past and how he is working to improve himself on that.

He has grown a lot this year.

You may not see the impact of this because it's an intangible change but you look at how he interacts with the others, the boundaries he's putting in place etc

JM post October have been treating JK with a certain level of respect and dignity, almost as if he is seeing JK as a new man- his equal. This will make sense in the future, don't worry.

During the Christmas holiday performance, it seemed the directors had whispered something in JM's ear to give them a moment- listen, BigHit ain't slick ok? Whenever you see them isolate Jikook from the group bet your sweet behind they are looking for a moment from Jikook and are going over BTS's head, chilee. They ain't slick.

They did the same thing in the dynamite MV when they put Jikook away from the group and had them turn it on- I mean RM wasn't too happy about it it seemed and when he asked Jimin about it, Jimin said the director had asked him to.

I bet you two fake dollars, they intentionally put Jikook away from the group in that performance and honestly I don't think they gave JK a heads up about it either. You could see Jimin literally scanning JK's body to prepare himself and put himself in the mood which had JK looking at him all confused like what is this man doing. Lmho.

Then he playfully taps JK's chest like it's the firt time he is paired with his man and JK looks at him like uhmmmm. Jimin then goes to wrap his hands around JK's shoulder and JK exec crashed. lol.

I don't think JK expected that from Jimin and his gay panic was real- personally, I think he popped a boner down there and when Jimin tilted the camera angle down to that region dude made a 360 turning his back to the camera. Lol.

He was literally hiding it behind Jin and when you look at NamJin's cam that's when you see what I mean.

Chilee, JK how are you gone hide a boner a man gave you behind another mind- make it make sense. Lmho. Are they both not men? You are 24, if Jimin still has this effect on you I'm sorry there's no hope for you. The gay is deep my guy, bid your family farewell and move to Itaewon. Lol.

All jokes and delulu aside, there was a certain level of respect even in the way that Jimin carried out their fanservice in that moment.

Maybe we are finally going to see Park Jimin relinquish that power he's been holding back from Kook as the hyung and mature one and allow JK lead him, make decisions for him and trust that he would make the right ones.

I don't think, going forward JM would be 'dismissing' JK's discomfort with him doing certain things as JK being 'childish' anymore, lol. I'm talking about the 'babe it's nothing' laughing his butt off when JK is pissed at him for doing certain things etc.

It's also interesting to note that 2020, in my opinion, recorded the most 'breakup songs' shared and recommended by JK on his spotify playlist- I wonder why. Smirk.

By break up songs i mean most if not all the songs he shared last year had a theme of separation, breakup, etc, with one particular song standing out to me: Mean it by Lauv.

This song and the others are pretty much consistent with his own song lyrics of 2020, Still with you and Stay which I believe are a two voiced piece of the same art work or subject matter, a response poem if you will: one being a confession of JK's feelings and intentions while the other, Stay, is the reconciliation, a request and plea to his love interest and declaration of his needs or what he wants from Jimin.

Stay answers Still with you. In my opinion.

And on the subject of Still with you, am I the only one who thinks 'With You' is one of Jimin's handles and JK using that in a song is no coincidence?

I mean Tae literally gave Jimin that name in Run 106- Listen, I don't trust JK and if he appropriates it again ISTG!

He's come a long way from, 'I'm not gonna say any cliche as that have courage' in Magic Shop to practically groveling. Lol. Love will do that to you.

What stands out about Mean it, is that whole 'don't play with my feelings if you don't want me' theme. I think this is something I kept saying was a vibe I was getting from JK throughout 2020 when I said I talked about their breakup and said I felt he was since that incident putting his foot down, demanding his needs and putting his happiness right back up there with Jimin's.

I smiled when I heard him talk about him thinking a lot about what happiness means to him throughout 2020 and pursuing that.

As for the professionalism, let's see if they are going to maintain it throughout this year because it is not coming from them but from the environment they are in.

I think what they have to do is know when they are going to be themselves and when they have to be professional- Jikook y'all are queer, reading the room should be an acquired skill dumbass! Someone send them the memo. Lmho.

One other thing that has changed about Jikook would be how they are gradually disconnecting from their fanbase especially JK.

Now this may be due to a lot of reasons: BigHit limiting their access to their fanbase, BTS having a problem with Jikook's brand clashing with theirs and demanding they 'act professionally,' Jikook no longer having a need of the support of their fanbase and a plethora of reasons I cannot get into sake of time and space.

One thing that I am gauging this year is how Jikook will be interacting with their fanbase and how much of their relationship they will willingly share with us.

They need our support as much as we need them and if our support matters to them in advancing their relationship out of the closet then they will find a way to reconnect with us- always.

I mean, he said stay- I'm staying. Lol.

I guess what I'm saying is, for now, the change in Jikook is intangible and individualized but serves as a foundation to whatever direction they decide to move in next.

I am curious to know how these individuals growth and development is going to play out in their dynamics as a unit.

I want to see what they do on May 13th this year, who posts the first Jikook selca of 2021. JK didn't post for the members's birthday again and so I'm curious to see how JM's birthday is gonna go.

The members had surprise parties except Jimin- I'm still salty about that, they filmed Vlives on their birthdays- again except Jimin who had to belate that shit.

I'm taking notes of how they are gonna use the VApp this year especially JK. He still wasn't allowed to solo VLive on the app- I'm taking notes. Lol. Bone collector LLC. Lmho.

2020 was that year, the year Jikook went to couples counseling figuratively- in my books me. Lol.

They went from spending time apart, pursuing other hobbies, JK took to reading, Jimin took to spending quality time with friends and family and realized what is gold to him.

They each have come to terms with their shortcomings- something some of us recieved a lot of backlash over for talking openly about. Chilee.

Jimin have acknowledged he over expresses himself and needs to "love less' and JK have acknowledged his immaturity and is taking steps to work on it.

They both have taken a step from social media, which honestly I don't think is a bad thing especially if SM impacts their overall well being negatively.

I actually won't be surprised if they've been seeing a psychologist but anywho-

I hope this answers your question? Lol. I don't know. This post is more for me than y'all, I feel. So sorry about that.

Happy New Year to 'Y'all who love me.' I love y'all too so much. Bless y'all.

Let's keep supporting Jikook. Jikook is real.

Signed,

GOLDY

[hatsukeii]

Beautiful Trauma by Pink with Nishinoya, please!

Woop yess yeah angst is coming your way.

Okay I’m taking a break from matchups lol they’re getting harder to do because I do like a ton of them every day and like they’re GRUELLING HAVSJSGS they’re gonna be back but like I’m gonna focus on writing scenarios and maybe hcs for a bit then get right back to the matchups:)

Btw @artsamber I’m sorry I genuinely don’t know how marriage fics work and I don’t really see Nishinoya as someone that would lose interest after marriage, but I’ll try my best to incorporate your ideas into this fic!

(I’m legit trying my best to keep this as non explicit as I can because I’m keeping these for future uses if my English teacher ever tells me to write romance or something I can just pull up my blog and use scenarios-)

Beautiful Trauma// Nishinoya Yuu x Reader

Word count: 2000+

Warnings: Mild swearing

Nishinoya didn’t like feeling guilty. He hated the falling sensation he would get whenever he lied. The thought of having to hurt someone disgusted him. He was mostly an open book, it was as if you could read him word for word, everything expressed in those goofy facial expressions. He didn’t ask for much. He wanted someone who he could tease. Someone he could trust with his inner conflicts. Someone that could make him feel appreciated. Out of all the things however, he craved for excitement the most. Excitement that you weren’t able to give him. He loved you, he definitely loved you. But in a couple of years’ time, the spark that used to ignite whenever he looked at you, touched you, kissed you, it was gone. He tried to ignore the emptiness, grasping at any opportunity he could to regain those feelings. Going on more dates, inviting you to all his matches, bringing you over to his house every single week, he did everything he could Nothing worked. He no longer felt special. He had fought so hard for you, everything was all rainbows and unicorns, until it wasn’t. Until you became just another person for him. 

You still remember the exact moment you realised he had changed. It still goes through your mind till this day. It was New Year’s Eve. The two of you went out to watch the fireworks at midnight. His hand felt cold that night, not a trace of the usual warmth that embraced your hand perfect to be found.. It felt stale and frigid. He didn’t initiate his usual weird chatter, nor did he make an effort to talk to you at all. Every other couple at the venue was doing some lovey dovey crap, giving each other bone crushing hugs, or laying in their loved one’s lap, occasionally sneaking a kiss or two. Seeing that, you tried to sneak in some romance into your date. You turned towards him, leaning in and giving him a kiss. Your heart fell when he stayed still, not reacting to anything. He didn’t kiss back, he didn’t hold your hand, he didn’t even make an effort to play with your hair.  It was as if your kiss had absolutely no effect on him. You tried again, letting go of his hand and cupping his cheek. Still nothing. You pulled away, slightly disappointed at the lack of attention you were getting from him as he stared at you with bored eyes, dragging you down to sit next to him. This should’ve been a sign. A sign that something was wrong. However, you brushed it off. Maybe he was just feeling a bit sick that night.

The lack of attention went on for months. You would have to ask him out every week, just to be able to spend any quality time with him, and most of the time he’d decline, using the same three excuses every time.

“Sorry, I’m busy with volleyball.”

“Feeling a bit tired today, I’ll pass.”

“I have schoolwork, can’t come.”

The rare instances where he doesn’t decline your request, he’s completely indulged in his phone. As if there was something that was better than spending time with the one he loved that was on that godforsaken monitor. You would try poking him, shaking him, nudging him, everything you could possibly do to gain his attention. In return, all you’d receive was an irritated groan or your hand being picked up and put back onto your lap, followed by a wave of depression hitting you by surprise as he continues to scroll mindlessly through his phone. You were tired of this, your gut telling you to just break it off with him. However you were hopeful. Too hopeful. You continued to cling onto the last shred of hope you had in that attention lacking heart of yours, praying that by spending enough time with him, he would go back to his old self. The Nishinoya that she fell in love with. The one that gave her kisses on her cheek, squeezed her hand whenever he held it, cried with her during hard times, pushed her on the swings in an abandoned park. She continued to look forward to a day, where he would once again greet her at her doorstep before walking to school together. That day never came.

Half a year. Half an entire year of hiding his inner conflicts. Nishinoya was done keeping it in. He had to tell you one way or the other anyways. He was sick of seeing how disappointed you’d get after he ignored you time and time again. He was drowning in his own guilt throughout the never-ending six months. That pit of regret that dug itself in his stomach made him want to just rip everything to pieces and scream into a void. He didn’t want to see you like this, but quite frankly there was nothing he could do. His feelings were slowly fading, and they weren’t coming back. Everything that seemed bright in the world went dull as he pondered over his own emotions in his room. Letting out a feral yell, he sent all the books and papers on his desk flying to the floor, ripping some up and stomping on them. “WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? HUH? I CAN’T DO THIS TO HER! I can’t... I can’t hurt her like that.” He grabbed at his hair, pulling at it as he slid down the wall hopelessly, choking out strained sobs and screams as tears poured from his eyes. He was beyond frustrated. He definitely didn’t want to hurt you by telling you how he felt, however hiding it wouldn’t do any good either. In fact, the longer he hid it, the more affected by it you would be. He had made his mind. He was going to tell you the truth the next day, but at what cost? He was scared, definitely. He could already picture what would happen. He would tell you his conflicts, and you two would end it there, with both of you crying and leaving for different classes. He would probably do terribly during practice, maybe even skip it for once, and you would probably go home and cry. It would hurt him to tell you, but it was for the best.

You weren’t feeling ecstatic the next day, although you should’ve been. In your bag, was a framed polaroid, along with a tiny note attached to it, stuffed in between your lunchbox and textbooks. You made sure not to let the note crumple up. That was something important. Your friends teased you about it, calling you a hopeless romantic, lovestruck schoolgirl, and a variety of different romance tropes. All you could do was nod and laugh dryly, and pray they didn’t see the frown on your face throughout the whole day. During lunch, you scanned the cafeteria for your partner, finally landing your eyes on his tiny figure. He was in the very back of the lunch line, scrolling through his phone, again. You took a deep breath, grabbing the polaroid and treading towards him. “Nishinoya, can I talk to you alone for a bit?” The boy’s eyes glanced towards you, before he cracked a fake grin. “Uh sure thing.” You pulled him out of the lunch line, guiding him to behind a random stairwell, leaning on the wall with the framed photo in hand.

“So, for our second anniversary, I made you this. I hope you like it.” Nishinoya froze, before his eyes widened, his mouth slowly opening. “I- I’m so sorry (Y/N), I completely forgot about this! Oh lord I’m so dumb oh god-” He stopped for a moment. This was the perfect opportunity to tell you. You two were finally alone, he could just get it done and over with. He thought about it a bit more. Would it be too much for you? He had already forgotten about you guys’ anniversary, whilst you made an effort to make him something. He decided against it. He would do it another day. “Yuu, it’s okay, Don’t worry about it. Just read the note when you get back. I gotta go eat now, see you around.” And with that, you made your way back to your table. NIshinoya’s heart clenched. He felt terrible. He really hid the fact that he was losing interest from you for months, whilst you continued to believe that he loved you with his whole heart. He stared at the polaroid in his hand. It was from when you two had your first date in a pink cafe. That was the first time he ever kissed you in public. Inside of the frame, was a piece of paper folded into a tiny square. That was the note you were talking about. He let out a heavy sigh, returning to the cafeteria as well.

The note was now in his hands, still folded in that neat square. When school ended, you didn’t wait for Nishinoya like you usually did. Instead, he saw you walk away with another friend, who was patting your back as you were hunched over slightly. His heart dropped. Thank the lords he decided not to tell you today. Polaroid frame in hand, he examined everything. Maybe there was some hidden message behind this. Maybe she wrote something on the back of the polaroid too, instead of just writing a note. He took a few minutes to just observe the framed photo, before giving up and shoving it back into his bag. There was nothing weird or suspicious about it. It was just a normal polaroid. He walked home alone, not waiting for Tanaka. He felt like absolute shit, head hanging low as he walked towards his house, hands in his pocket. The second he got to his room, he threw everything to the floor, scrambling for the framed polaroid and pulling out the untouched note. He opened the note up, to see a neatly written message. It wasn’t just a note, it was a whole letter.

Dear Yuu,

I expected this already, so don’t be sorry. I knew you were going to forget. You’ve changed, everyone could see. Because of that, there’s something I need to tell you.

I’m breaking it off here.

Nishinoya’s eyes widened as he gripped the paper tightly with his now shaky hands. “No way....”

I know you might be confused as to why I’m doing this. But hear me out. I can see that you’ve changed. For the past months you’ve been uninterested. You haven’t been like the old Yuu since New Year’s Eve.

I love you, I do, but I can’t bear to see you force yourself into continuing this facade. It’s been two years, this isn’t a surprise to me. I don’t want you to feel obligated to stay with me against your heart’s desire. I’d rather you be happy with the relationship. Please. Let’s just end it here. It was beautiful while it lasted, but now it’s just trauma for me. I hope this anniversary gift is good enough. Goodbye.

Love,

(Y/N)

Tears streamed down the boy’s face as he re-read the letter again. Nothing changed. You had said what you said and Nishinoya felt terrible. He should’ve known you would be able to read through him. He should’ve just told you from the start, instead of keeping it in like a coward. Putting the letter down, he grabbed his bag, and threw it across the room, letting it land to the ground with a thud as his laptop and his textbooks spilled out. “NISHINOYA YUU WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?” Ah, of course, it was his mom. “NISHINOYA STOP MAKING SO MUCH NOISE!” The short boy ignored her, continuing to let his anger out. He threw all the books from his shelf onto the wooden floor, ripped up pieces of homework, and threw the polaroid to the ground, jumping on it and cracking the glass. He wasn’t mad at you. He was frustrated with himself. He was furious at his own cowardice, that led to him breaking your heart. “Why? It shouldn’t have been like this! I should’ve apologised to her before any of this happened! We might’ve had a chance!”

He continued to massacre his bedroom, throwing everything at his wall and breaking anything he possibly could get his hands on. His legs felt tired from stomping and jumping and his arms ached from ripping everything. He fell back, landing on his ass as he cradled his face in his hands, sobbing uncontrollably. He wanted to lie to himself. Tell himself there was nothing he could do about it. Convince himself that he had already tried his best.

But deep down, he knew that he just didn’t try hard enough, and now, the two years you guys spent together, where he loved every single minute of, was nothing but a beautiful trauma.

Tags:

@sunshines-and-tatertots @izzyphantomgamer @tokyoghoose @artsamber @trashcanweeb @inlwlevi @tiger1719 @mariechan123 @random-fandomlover @kaylacinderella @burnt-tomato @macaronnv @talks-a-lot-of-stuff @just-another-bored-writer @ewfilthymundane @agentvicinity

Comment or dm to be in taglist!!

Okay this is actually so bad I’m sorry idk I just hate this with a passion and I think it’s terrible but I hope you liked it🥺😔💕

References:

Beautiful Trauma lyrics on genius

Comments on the music video

My overanalysing brain

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu scenario #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu angst #haikyuu nishinoya #hq #hq x reader #hq angst #hq scenario #hq headcanons #hq nishinoya #nishinoya yuu #nishinoya x reader #nishinoya scenario #nishinoya angst #anime

[uwuwriting]

Homesick recordings

This is the first part of my 1.5K celebration. I present to you the sequel to “Moments in the life of Y/N L/N”, the angstiest piece of trash I’ve ever written. Thank you 1.5 K guys it means a lot, thank you for being here and reading my crap writing and thank you for supporting my blog. Love ya 💖💖💖

masterlist II rules

When Y/N learns that her little girl is gonna leave for high school she suggests she tries recording herself when she’s feeling homesick. Sky believes that she won’t need it but as time passes she realizes that she might need her mom more than expected. 

Monday, April 4th 20XX

“Okay so how do I do this exactly? *camera falls from its spot* Ah crap crap Jesus! Is it still working? Yep yep it is there’s my ugly face hehe. God why is my hair like that? Anyways um…. Hi, I guess? Do you say hi to a recording? This is weird to say the least. Today was the first day of school as you might have guessed and it was ….awkward. I got lost in that huge building twice and I ignored some kids by accident because they called me by my last name! I’m used to people referring to you when they say our last name ugh this is gonna take some time getting used to. The teacher is ....unique. He came into our classroom in a yellow sleeping bag and proceeded to worm around the room like a caterpillar. I don’t think he is the really giddy giddy fun teacher; he wrecked us during training. Gave us a freaking heart attack with a so called prank he pulled. *exasperated sigh* Who says that you’ll be expelled if you score last?? I don’t get it!! His name is Aizawa-sensei and I already believe he doesn’t like me. He stared at me for a solid five minutes with a frown on his face during training. If I’m being honest he was watching me the whole day which is kinda weird. I don’t know how to take that. Is he interested in my quirk or is he asking himself why they put me in his class? I can hear his voice saying ‘why do they keep sending me imbeciles?’. Well mister you can’t get rid of me now I got in and I’m staying! HA! *bang on the wall* YO SKY KID KEEP IT DOWN MAN! SORRY TOYOMI-SAN…..That was one of my roommates….She is a social worker I think. Oh I almost forgot, the apartment I found is nice. It deserves its price I mean. But you already know that since I called you once I got back from school…. See why this is stupid??? I’ll keep telling you things you already know because I have Alzheimer and I don’t remember what you know. *sigh* Oh well I guess you’ll have to endure this torture, you are my mother after all and I’m your precious only daughter so what can you do really? I finished my costume design. It turned out pretty cool, I like it. The jacket you suggested makes it ten times better. I look like a pilot. Well technically I am a pilot. I pilot clouds and now that you’re not here to scold me when I’m flying around I’ll take full advantage of it. You can’t stop me mother! Anyways, it’s getting late and I have school tomorrow so I’ll end this here. I don’t know when I’ll record next…. Most likely when I’m feeling home sick again. Haha it's the first day away from home and I’m already missing you and those two idiots. *soft snort* Goodnight mom, love you.” *recording ends*.

Wednesday, April 27th 20XX     

“Hello again, it’s me, your neighborhood cripple. *wince* You could say I’m a sight for sore eyes because I’m sore all over. You’ve seen the attack on the news. Of course you have, everyone’s shaming UA high for lack of security. Why you haven’t called me yet is a mystery, I guess you’re at work? And before you start throwing a tantrum about me not calling first and blah blah, I wanted to record this first, let you see the actual injuries before I minimize them when I call you. *stares off* Something weird happened during the attack. Apart from the fact that well we were attacked and our homeroom teacher was almost beaten into a pulp, the villains were ….. interesting. When they first appeared I was teleported by this minecraft portal looking ass to another part of the USJ and to be honest I kicked some serious ass. That *wince* that was not the weird thing. While I was fighting I saw Aizawa-sensei facing some type of giant ostrich? Although that that thing wasn’t an ostrich…. I don’t know what it was but mom it was terrifying. *visible shiver* It just grabbed him and mopped the floor with him and I just couldn’t sit there and do nothing. So I went to help or at least that was my goal. That person who teleported me at the beginning tried to do it again and I may have snapped a little bit. I got so angry when he moved me to the other side of the arena that for a moment I totally forgot about what was happening. While I was fighting him his quirk kinda connected with mine. It was strange. Every time I shot a cloud at him the mist that surrounded him kinda engulfed it. It wasn’t only happening to me. I could manipulate his mist. Not every time just like he couldn’t sabotage my clouds every time, but it still happened. I don’t know why it happened or how it happened and I have no idea what I’m gonna do about it.  Maybe it was part of his quirk but it didn’t happen to anyone else…..*wince* God I have a headache. *chuckle* You do realize you are never going to see these videos right? Seeing me like this would send you into a comma and then you would come back to haunt me and my classmates. Anyways, I’ll call you and then I’m going to sleep. Love ya mom.” *recording ends*

Tuesday, June 3rd 20XX

“*walking back and forth in her room* You know how I said that Bakugou is a really fun person to tease? Well that was before he exposed me to the whole class.*laugh* In reality I’m not really mad, it was a nice comeback and if I’m being honest it was hilarious but it was still a shocker. We were going back and forth with that tik tok challenge where you expose your friend’s flaws. So I was standing there pointing out his superiority complex when he dropped the bomb…… ‘It’s the daddy issues for me’......THIS KID. THE AUDACITY. I thought my daddy issues were kept on the down low!!! I’ve done nothing to trigger this comment!! Sure I may or may not have told Mina that you raised me alone and about that counselor incident but that doesn’t mean I have daddy issues. *grumble* You need to have a dad to have daddy issues. Ughh God I hate him sometimes so very much. Thankfully the summer camp is tomorrow. I’ll get to wipe the floor with him in volleyball. I’m gonna draw those anger issues out…. I need some air. *three hours later* I’m back… yay. It’s weird to think about it you know. What you must have gone through when he passed. I know you don’t really like talking about him or anything before I came along but I would love to know what he was like. I’m not gonna ask you in real life of course, I would never do that to you. I know it hurts. I just wanted to say it out loud…*barely audible sniffle* … Well this got sentimental real quick. I think I should go to bed. I love you mom, goodnight.” *recording ends*

Friday, March 14th 20XX

“Of all the things that could’ve happened, this one was the last one on my list. Actually it wasn’t even on the freaking list, dammit! *sniffle* You know things like this don’t happen to everyone. I must be a really lucky person. Tell me one other person who gets to meet their dead parent in a high surveillance prison?? And above that I got an explanation why he was like this. Amazing right? God this is so stupid! I hate it. I hate this situation, I hate that I can’t tell you about it, I hate keeping you in the dark because at the end of the day I’m not the one who was in love with him. He may be my dad but I don’t have a connection with him! I never met him! He wasn’t there when I started walking or talking, he wasn’t the one who dropped me off on the first day of school, he didn’t teach me how to ride a bike, he-he * sob* I shouldn’t-shouldn’t be upset over this. Aizawa-sensei and Present Mic should be the ones sobbing on their floor. Not me. He doesn’t - I don’t- ugh - I don’t mean anything to him in the end. He died 15 years ago. That’s it. He was in love with you, he knew you, I was nowhere to be found. If he could reach out to us more than just a few words he wouldn’t know who the hell I was. *sobs* I have a picture of you two you know….It’s the one I had found when I was five. When you told me that that was my dad I felt like I could form a connection with the person in that photo. So I kept it, you never went through your old photo albums anyway and you never looked for the missing photo. And I kept it with me. I tore a small pocket in my backpack and put the photo there. I thought that having both of you with me at all times would bring me luck. I liked the fact that I looked like him. Now I realize how painful that must have been for you, seeing him in me everyday….and Aizawa-sensei, god, having me in his class must have been torture. He didn’t know that I was his friend’s daughter of course but I looked enough like him to bring back memories. God this sucks…. *deep breathes* I-I have practice so I gotta go. Love you.” *recording ends*  

Thursday, March 20th 20XX

“Hi, it’s me again. I know that I’m recording almost a week after the previous one but… mom I have been assigned a mission and it’s major. It’ll be an attack at a hospital where we believe that experiments are being conducted. We got that information from um what do I call him? *shakes head* from a prisoner in Tartarus, the high surveillance prison I was at last week? Yeah that one. The mission will be really dangerous, that’s what we’ve been told and I can understand that. I mean we are attacking a major operation of AFO, of course it’ll be dangerous. Since we are students we are to stay away from the hospital and monitor the surrounding area but…. I asked Present Mic to go with them in the hospital. I can help keep things in place and I can move people in and out quicker than any of them, plus this is personal. I think Present Mic understands that. He said he’ll talk to Aizawa-sensei about it but regardless….. I’ll find who did that to him, I promise you that. I want to know if...if this was all some grand plan because what they did to him they did to dozens other people and as much as I hate them for taking my father away, I also hate them for what they’ve done to all those other families…… I’m recording this because I don’t know if I come back in one piece or if I come back at all. This is very dangerous and we don’t really know what to expect. What we are getting ourselves into. I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for giving me everything that I needed in life. Thank you for being the best mom anyone could ever have. You raised me by pushing your own sadness and grief to the side and doing the best job you could. So thank you for being my mom and I’m sorry for the pain I caused you. I love you mom, so very much. Bye, bye mommy.” *recording ends.*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TAG TEAM AY:

@iwaqchan @the-arcana-fan-fic @angelwritings @axerrri @reinyrei  @dnarez-mangetsu @bemorefiction

#shirakumo #shirakumo oboro #shirakumo x reader #bnha x reader #bnha x y/n #bnha x you #shirakumo oboro x reader #angst

[thatfunkyopossum]

Uhhh so I’m just gonna slap a life update under the cut for anyone who’s curious? Also bc this is my blog and I want to be able to vent wherever the hell i feel like. it’ll be messy.

Alrighty so first things first: My mom is in the hospital with some pretty severe cancer. Hospitalized for several months straight severe. It’s happening because of the treatment from her breast cancer several years ago. I’m fine with this. She’s abusive and is completely fine with how she’s treated me since I came out as trans. I know that she’s fine with it because we’ve talked about it and she said as much.

The real problem with this is that i’m now living with my dad alone because my sister moved out earlier this year. Its just the two of us, four dogs, and two cats. This is a problem because my dad has no healthy ways to deal with his stress and frustration so he takes it out on me. His toxic behaviors that have been harming me my entire life have only gotten worse. He refuses to acknowledge that anything he’s ever done has been wrong, and I mean it when I say he’d do anything to help me be better short of ever changing his behavior.

For example, i told him that when he referred to the house and dishes as belonging to him (for example, saying things like “stop leaving my dishes in your room” referring to the dishes i’ve eaten on in my room. Like, the communal dishes the whole family uses? and has for my entire life?) made me feel like a guest in my own home and like i had no claim to anything he told me i was delusional, that he wouldn’t stop talking like that, and that if I wanted any claim on anything in this house that he expects me to maintain I’d have to start paying to live here. I can’t do that, because I’ve only recently gotten a job (i’ve been trying to avoid it because I don’t want to get sick and hurt my friends) and I have to save up so i can either A) get myself the fuck out of here & transition or B) pay for a school program myself that in two years or so could help me get a decently stable and well paying job.

Also, on the topic of paying rent, both of my parents have completely refused to negotiate with me. I asked them to let me move into my sister’s vacated room (it gets more sunlight, is bigger, and overall would be genuinely much better for my emotional health) and I was informed that I’d need to pay them $300 a month to do that. Mind you, my sister only had to pay a percentage of her paycheck up to $300 a month. My parents would accept her maximum as my absolute minimum. So i’m making do with my cramped space.

Its been 2 years since I came out as trans to my parents. The only person in my family to wholeheartedly embrace me aside from my sister is my grandfather who lives 3 hours away. My dad can’t even consistently call me by my name, still calls me “girl”, and acts like he found out a few weeks ago and its still new. He introduces me to strangers as his daughter and by my deadname. He’s a trump supporting capitalist evangelical christian (both parents are) and has been drinking the voter fraud koolaid and doesn’t wear a mask at his job sites.

Every interaction I have with him has me on edge and nervous. I can’t be my own self in the place where i live, and i’m not even allowed the illusion of thinking that this is actually my own home. Even when he’s gone for days at a time I can’t relax because I have four severely neglected hunting dogs that I cannot help and I can’t take care of to monitor and try and control. I have to keep them quiet because if they start barking at the landlord’s dogs (who are allowed to run around outside off lead) the landlords get angry at us. They’re not leash trained, so I physically cannot walk any of them. Karley was abandoned by my middle sister, and is now basically my responsibility.

Tucker, Karley’s son, was left here by my oldest sister who couldn’t take him with her immediately when she moved away. Both of them are purebred german shorthaired pointers because my dad wanted hunting dogs and then never trained them. They’re never taken on walks. Finley is a miniature poodle who belongs to my mom. She was too lazy to play with him with a laser pointer, so yeah. Zeke is an old standard poodle who is dying and my family will not put down even though he seems absolutely miserable. I cannot care for these dogs. I never asked for them to be my responsibility, but I’m the only one who actually cares about their well being except i can’t help them. I don’t know what to do. Finley’s so smart and I can’t do anything to stimulate his brain. Karley and Tucker are so energetic and I don’t have the space or stamina to exercise them, and I can’t teach them to walk on leads because they’re too hyper but they’re too hyper because they’re never walked and they’re never walked because they don’t know how to walk on leads and i can’t do anything about it. Zeke is in pain and there’s nothing I can do about it!

There’s nothing I can do to help them and because they’re all under stimulated and not trained (my family HAS ACTIVELY REFUSED TO TRAIN THEM SAYING IT CANT BE DONE) they destroy my belongings and what few things I have to my own self and I’m told its my fault when they do. They’ve made this house filthy and foul smelling and theres nothing I can do about it.

I’m trapped here and i’m suffocating and I can’t even assert who I am without risking my shelter.

#jaymes personal #don't reblog

[crimsonrae]

A Matter of Degrees

Chapter One

Summary:  Dr. Emil Hamilton had been fascinated by Superman, but not afraid. Five years after his death Clark finds out why.

Clark Kent x OC

Rated: Mature

A/N: I’m not a big Superman fan, but after watching Snyder’s films and Henry, I wanted to explore a more broken/healing Clark. Slowish build on this. Let me know if you want to be tagged. :)

Somewhere in the California Desert

He wanted to laugh.

It was an inappropriate reaction to the situation at hand, Emil knew this intrinsically, but he still wanted to laugh... mostly in disbelief. He had just watched as an alien and a human were taken hostage - as a Kryptonian spacecraft disappeared back into the sky. More than that, he had watched it happen with an entire platoon of U.S. military personnel. To say that the last few days had been surreal would really just be an understatement of biblical proportions.

He wasn't unaccustomed to weird situations, by any means, but his threshold had definitely just found a new level.

He snorted quietly to himself and focused on the hilarity bubbling in his gut, knowing that if he didn't the panic that lurked beneath would take over. Some part of him was terrified that this whole thing wasn't going to work, that handing over Kal-El – Superman- whatever-his damn-name-was and Ms. Lane was a giant mistake and he felt sick that he had just stood there and let it happen.

"Dr. Hamilton?"

What if General Zon annihilated the Earth anyway? Did he really have what he wanted?

"Dr. Hamilton, sir?"

Emil blinked as a hand grasped his shoulder and began to push him toward a waiting caravan. All around him the soldiers had begun to disperse, following new orders he assumed. General Swanwick ducked his head down and continued to prod the shorter man forward as he spoke hurriedly, "There's nothing for us to do here. We'll get you back to base to monitor the situation...with any luck, this General Zod will head back to whatever Godforsaken planet he came from."

"You really think that's what's gonna happen?" Emil questioned cynically. He wasn't really expecting a response as he clambered into a Humvee and pulled his phone from his pocket.

"I can only hope." The general murmured quietly before disappearing from the scientist's side.

Emil shook his head and dialed a number he knew by heart. He barely noticed when the car lurched forward as he listened to a familiar ring, he had the sinking feeling he would get her voicemail, but that was okay. Another moment past before he heard her voice.

Hi, you've reached Rebecca Hamilton. Leave a message and I'll get back to you when I have a free moment.

Beep.

Abrupt. To the point...yeah, that was his little girl. He smiled faintly, "Hey kiddo, it's been a few days since I've talked to you. I know it's probably nighttime where you're at right now, but I just... I just wanted to talk to you. You wouldn't believe the things I've seen lately or maybe you would. I met a young man that reminded me of you. Well, a young man and a reporter actually...it's a long story. I just want you to know, honey, that I love you and I'm proud of you. Give your old man a call when you get a chance, huh?"

He ended the call and tried not to frown sullenly as he turned his gaze to the passing scenery. The sergeant driving the Humvee shot him a side glance as he curiously asked, "Daughter?"

Emil jerked slightly, not expecting to be pulled from his thoughts as he glanced briefly at his phone, "Yeah...yeah, she um she's working somewhere in Southern Asia right now. Couldn't pronounce the name of the village even if I wanted to."

The sergeant nodded politely, "She a scientist like you?"

Emil huffed a small laugh, "No... no, she's a freelancer. One day she'll be a tour guide for some cruise-line, the next she's trekking through a jungle as a research assistant. She has this blog about her travels, it seems to keep her fed."

The sergeant raised a brow, "That's exciting...and worrying, I bet, for a father."

"Like you wouldn't believe." The doctor muttered ruefully, "She's always had my curiosity, but sometimes I wish she had gotten her mother's instead. Andrea was more inclined to sate her curiosity with books in a library. I was always the one that needed to be on-site somewhere. Becky got that from me and I'm sure somewhere Andi's laughing at the many heart attacks that our daughter has given me as a result."

The sergeant chuckled quietly as he navigated them through the base's gates, "I think that's just a child's prerogative, Dr. Hamilton."

"You're probably right." Emil agreed warmly as he thought of his daughter, he could practically see her mischievous smirk, "You have kids?"

"Two. A boy and a girl." The sergeant answered with a proud grin, "My girl just turned six and she bullies her big brother something awful.

He pulled up before a plain stucco building and slid a photo from his inside pocket to hand to Emil.

"Old school. I like it." The sides were crinkled, but it was a photo that probably went everywhere with the man. Two cherubic faces peered back at him and Emil smiled, "They're beautiful."

He clicked the side button of his phone to show the sergeant the photo acting as his wallpaper. It was him and Rebecca before she had disappeared off for lands unknown again. She had wrapped an arm around his neck as she made him take a selfie with her. It had been a good day.

"I break my phone on a regular basis. Photo's easier to keep around." The sergeant explained as he took Emil's phone and raised a brow, "You guys must be close."

Emil shrugged as they swapped back, "It's just been the two of us for a long time. She's my world, even when she's on the other side of it."

He slid his phone back into his pocket as he pushed the car door open and stepped outside. He leaned back in and offered his hand, "Thanks for the ride Sergeant...Haskell. It's been nice chatting with you."

"Aaron Haskell, sir. And you as well." Haskell replied taking the offered hand.

Their conversation was mundane at best, but Emil recognized it for what it was- a brief distraction from the horror the world had become in the past forty-eight hours. That there is still a possibility of there being no tomorrow. The two parted ways from there and Emil drifted through the next few hours as he watched the screen in the situation room. General Zod was still hovering outside Earth with no word from either Ms. Lane or Superman.

It was just as a faint buzzing vibrated through his pocket that movement was detected on the screen. Emil bit his lip as his daughter's face flashed across the screen of his phone and he glanced once more at the group of tensely strung soldiers and scientists. They could do without him for a few minutes. If this was the world ending, he was damn well going to talk to his daughter.

"Hey, kiddo. Give me one second." Emil said hurriedly as he moved for the hall. No one paid him much attention, their eyes still glued to the screen.

"Hey, Dad." Rebecca said tiredly once he was settled somewhere somewhat privately, "I didn't like that message you left...it sounded too final... too goodbye-ish. You're okay, right?"

A fond smile crossed his lips, "Yeah, sweetheart, I'm fine. I'm just missing you. I wish you were here. What are you doing up? It must be late there."

"Super early actually. Are you sure, you're okay? I've seen the news, Dad." He heard her sigh quietly, "Aliens exist – the world may be ending. And I'm guessing that you're probably in the middle of it."

"You get news in the jungle?"

"Dad."

"Becky -" He started calmly, to anyone else they would have heard a weary, but confident young woman, but he heard the fear, the worry in his little girl.

"Don't tell me, you don't know what's going on, Dad." A dryly amused lilt entered her tone, "You seem to forget I know who you work for and that you have a tendency of leaving classified files on the kitchen table. I know what a big mucky-muck you are over there... Just tell me you're safe, okay?"

"I'm safe. I promise." He shook his head in exasperation, "I'm surrounded by guys with guns, can't get any safer."

"Yeah, right." She murmured quietly and he could almost picture her tugging at the necklace she always wore, "I've changed my flight. I'll be home the day after tomorrow."

"Oh, sweetheart, no. You were supposed to be in Nakhomi Ticakwok for another month. Don't cut your trip short, this is nothing." He cringed both relieved that she was coming home, but hating what was bringing her back enough to protest.

"Oh God, Dad, you weren't even a little bit close. Just say Malaysia, it'll keep you out of trouble." She muttered as she stifled a laugh, "And if it's nothing, then Malaysia isn't going anywhere. I can always come back."

"Becky..." He sighed.

She huffed on the other end, sounding for a moment just like her mother, "You know I hate it when you call me that."

Emil rolled his eyes, "You know, there was a time you hated being called Rebecca."

"That's because it usually meant I was in trouble, but I'm not a little girl anymore, Dad. Becky is a name for a little girl with pigtails and the tendency of being covered in dirt."

"Yeah well, you're my little girl, no matter how old you get and I bet you all the money in my wallet that you have your hair in braided pigtails right now and are covered in dirt."

Emil grinned at the stymied silence from the other end of the line. She was probably checking herself over, but he knew his daughter.

"...It's not dirt, it's clay." She stated defiantly and he snorted.

"Twenty-seven years old and still a walking tornado." He murmured affectionally, "Don't you ever change, kiddo."

"Yeah, yeah." She muttered quietly, "Tell me about this guy you mentioned in your message. You said he reminded you of me."

Emil swallowed a sigh as he looked up and down the hallway to make sure no one was listening to him. Even still, he cordoned himself into a small side office, "He's... special, honey. Kinda like you. He can do things that quite frankly are astounding."

"Ah, you mean he's a freak like me."

"You're not a freak." Emil rebuked tiredly, "Being different, doesn't make you a freak."

"Hmm."

He knew the apathetic grunt was her placation for him, but it set his teeth on edge, "You're not a freak."

"Dad, just move on." Rebecca murmured quietly, it was an argument and an old one.

This time he let the sigh come, "He's strong and he was putting on this determined front for me and the General, but I could see he was worried, scared. All I wanted to do was tell him it was going to be okay, but I couldn't. Made me think of you. How brave you are, how strong..."

There was a moment of silence and then she asked, "Was this the alien? Did you guys find him?"

"Becky -"

"You did." She breathed, "Holy shit... Dad, do you think my abilities are-"

"You're human, Rebecca Josephina. I watched your mother give birth to you and there is no doubt that I'm your father, so don't even go there."

"Oh, the full name. Haven't gotten that in a while."

Emil rolled his eyes, "Oh kid, you're gonna be the death of me."

She snickered lightly before asking quite solemnly, "How'd you know he was scared?"

"Father's instinct." He murmured just as the door to the office swung open.

A bright-eyed tech peered at him worriedly, "Dr. Hamilton. You're needed in the sit -room."

Emil nodded and watched the tech run off as he sighed again, "Listen, honey, I have to go, but I'm glad I got to talk to you today."

"Me too."

"I love you so much, kid."

"I love you too. Dad, be safe please." Her voice sounded so small, despite the steadiness of it and he frowned.

"That goes both ways. I'll talk at ya later." Emil stated softly as he listened to her parting and quickly end the call.

It wasn't until hours later when Emil was aboard the C-17 and his fingers were reaching to push down the key that he thought back to his daughter. To the last words of their call. He prayed that this hairbrained scheme worked and it would save the world and his little girl, because it sure as hell wasn't going to save him.

Goodbye, kiddo.

Next Chapter

#man of steel #man of steel fanfiction #superman #superman fanfic #superman fanfiction #henry cavill #dr. emil hamilton #fanfic #fanfiction #clark kent

[leopardprintismybrown]

i don’t really keep up with cam or anything, but would you be comfortable sharing what he said about you? i’m just kinda curious about this whole situation 🤷‍♀️ if not, don’t worry about it :) i respect your decision

I want to share this because I want to explain why I made a parallelism with a cult, because these fans are brainwashed in a worrying way. What I am quoting now is what it's been said on the private chat. 

He was angry that people were calling him disrespectful on Tumblr and his adepts immediately came to the rescue:

“Cam, if you need anyone to fight for you, I’m your gal”

“CAMILY ARMY”

He encouraged people to “bunny block them haters” and he was saying that it was because of his celebrity parent that people on Tumblr are jealous of him and of the Camily friendship and that we want to be part of it inside.

Some comments of the fans after ignoring why I associated them to a cult i.e. for their toxic behaviour, for following another person’s orders, for looking for culprits to block, for making death threats:

“They’re even hating on the Camily, like what did we do?”

“Based on what they said you know how desperate and jealous they were”

“They had the audacity to call the Camily a brainwashed cult”

“I’ve also noticed certain people on the stream I’d consider blocking”

Cameron started to find the cult mention very funny without even understanding the reason behind the parallelism and how problematic some of his fans are for how they express their support for him. They told me he wore a cult leader vest in his live stream on IG, they're making memes about the situation, decontextualizing and twisting my words and mixing up things other people said or shared with me on my blog:

“Someone else said that I am my bro are problematic me for having a cult around me” (don’t ask me to translate) “and some people think I’m using my dad for fame. Bitch I’m not trying to do that. Just cuz I use the name Deaky. They were like oh they treat him like a saint and everything. They said I was quote feeding the fandom. Like people wanted that type of content.  And now I stopped it. So like? Do I post Queen videos anymore? Nope. People are only saying this stuff because I’m fucking related to a celebrity. Gonna go insta live for a rant”

Here comes another demonstration of their sick minds:

“Wait. If we’re being called a cult, let’s show up to their door with guns”

And after this affirmation to be proud of, they started to deny their own words and they were saying that they were obviously trying to get my Tumblr taken down because I was bullying Cameron:

“They are also giving death threats. THEY’RE ACTUALLY GIVING DEATH THREATHS FROM WHAT CAMERON HAS SAID” “Ours is a joke. Theirs is actual death threaths” “Cameron said they’ve been making threaths” They posted a screenshot of my blog adding comments like “I’m not surprised it’s a Rog stan tbh" I was told someone was asking Cameron to tell ROGER about what I did.

At this point Cameron read a screenshot somebody sent him (probably about an anon I received talking about his brother) and he said: “She’s harassing me by posting about it. She was reposting slandering things about me and my brother. Like if my brother saw those comments as well I’m sure he’d be really humiliated and upset too”

One of the adepts' comments:

“She was slandering and talking abt John n not respecting privacy”

Cameron decided that: “If nothings done about it they’ll just continue. Clearly they came to my stream again”

Reaction of the adepts:

“We work out who it is in stream tonight and block them”

I also want to explain why I panicked yesterday. Someone from this discord was making me read everything, and not only I was clearly stressed for what I was reading and because they twisted every single word I wrote, but I was also witnessing live these fanatics commenting on my blog and providing a screenshot of my username and homepage and reporting me in mass. At the same time, the person that was only trying to help me was begging me to change my username repeatedly. "They're going to pile on you, change the url" I was confused and I didn't know what to do. Ironically, I was having a problem with my internet connection and couldn't access to my Tumblr so I was afraid they were already taking down my account (I don't know how these things work) and that I couldn't ask for help, justify myself or warn someone. In addition to this, I was getting bunny emojis and other anons saying that Cameron was roasting me on his IG live, something I think went on for hours because friends of mine were sending me stuff the whole night. 

I didn't obviously watch the stream so I cannot tell you what he said about me but I was told that he would keep on venting about it in the next days. Just to say that I am having a public persona with thousands of followers easy to manipulate publicly mocking me, encouraging people to cancel me, block me, report me by using his influence. This is bullying, ignorance, abuse of power, mind manipulation of teenagers from a 27 year old. He needs someone to monitor him. What hurts  me even more is that he's related to someone I respect.

I also got many messages from fans who are on that chat saying that they are sorry for what happened to me but that they are afraid to defend me because they don’t want to be called “traitors” and that the people on the chat feel like they have to go by what Cameron says. People apologized to me because they realized they said awful things about me but didn’t know the full story. Other people that defended me were blocked and are still asking me to not make their names public. 

What would you call this atmosphere?

#cameron deacon #queen fandom #ask #anon

[darkpoisonouslove]

Erendor x Samara Asks

Nobody asked for these but it’s my blog so I’m gonna do it anyway. I renumbered some of the questions to leave us with a total of 13.

1) who can outdrink the other?

Erendor. Samara barely drinks. She doesn’t want to go too hard on the alcohol because she likes to be sharp on all occasions but she’s also sure that she wouldn’t have high alcohol tolerance even if she did drink.

2) who says “I love you” more?

They don’t. It literally took Erendor about 25 years of marriage to realize he loves her even though he has before they had their first wedding anniversary. It takes Samara even more to return the sentiment even though she’s loved him for over two decades as well. 

3) who has trouble sleeping alone?

Samara, actually. The two sleep in different rooms most of the time but when they do sleep together, she’s always calmer. When Erendor is with her, Samara can trust even more that they are together and she doesn’t have to face everything alone. She’d like them to sleep in the same bed more often but she wouldn’t ask because she knows that they both need their space sometimes and she’s not sure if Erendor would want the same. And after the war with the Ancestral Witches and the tragedy on Domino, he got more distant so any courage she’d gathered to ask went back down to zero.

4) who swears more?

Definitely Erendor. Samara has sworn about twice in her life - when her plan to get rid of Sky’s biological mother went so awry that it released blood thirsty hounds in the kingdom to terrorize it and when they learned Diaspro had been mind controlling Sky.

5) who forgets their anniversary?

Samara. It’s not that she forgets it. It isn’t exactly possible to forget something that is an official celebration. It’s just that she has so many schemes running around her head at any given moment that the memory of the anniversary flies in and out of her head outside any logic to it. It’s why she starts preparing her gift and any other things she needs to get done (like picking an outfit) from early on enough to make sure everything is ready in advance and she won’t miss something. It hasn’t gotten to a point where Erendor has noticed her chaotic process of preparations so she’s handling it. Erendor, on the other hand, has made it a priority and a habit at this point to be at the top of his game when it comes to their anniversary. If he forgets it once, it can shake the foundation of everything they’d built over the years and he knows it will be a grave mistake to let that happen. Not just for the sake of the kingdom but for his own as well. He can’t imagine what it would be like to not have their honest conversations anymore and that would definitely be the result if he forgets.

6) who steals the duvet in their sleep?

Samara. She bundles herself up into it like it’s a cocoon. Erendor can only hope to remain covered if he is so close to her she can’t find a way to sneak the duvet between their bodies and that is hardly ever the case. Both of them are hesitant when it comes to cuddling and would only admit they are tempted by the idea if you torture it out of them.

7) who keeps the other awake at night with their snoring?

Erendor. Samara is a light sleeper and he snores like he’s swallowed a chainsaw. She’s spent a couple sleepless nights thanks to that but she doesn’t poke him awake because she’s not sure if he won’t send her away if she does. And she actually likes it when they wake up together. It feels like they’re truly a family and that is the only family she has ever had.

8) who hogs the bathroom?

Samara. Erendor has coined a rule that he goes first in the morning because he’s out in a couple minutes and she can take over half an hour even though she only has a hairbrush in there (she refuses to go back to her room to get ready for the day with unbrushed hair). It takes her even longer to put makeup on but, luckily for Erendor and his nerves, she does that at her own bedchamber.

9) who gives the most compliments?

Erendor. Samara is a little vain and he’s noticed so he’s made it a point to compliment her, especially as they get older. Besides, since physical affection isn’t exactly their thing, that is one way to show his appreciation. And it’s good to see that she believes his compliments and enjoys getting them.

10) who gives the other cringeworthy pet names?

Neither. They only refer to each other by name. If they ever got to use pet names, however, it would be just awkwardness central. They are so not used to that that it’s just weird. Also, Samara isn’t a fan of pet names. She has heard people call her a lot of pet names when she used to go to beauty pageants and worked as a model, hell even her mother, and none of them were ever said with real affection so she just associates them with bad memories. If Erendor found something new to call her that no one else has used before, though, she could get used to it. Even if she has to go through the initial shock first.

11) who fusses over takes care of the other when they get sick?

Samara. She has never been much of a caretaker but she does care for Erendor so she monitors the process closely even if she is not the one taking care of him. Especially after they have Sky, she becomes even more doting and Erendor can’t stand it sometimes. He sends her to go tend to the royal matters because someone needs to do that and he can use a break from having her hovering over his head the whole time. He, on the other hand, will worry when she’s sick (especially if it’s something more serious) but he’ll keep his distance. The first time she got sick after they got married, he didn’t even go see her and she was extremely insulted because she thought he didn’t care. She almost didn’t let him explain that he thought she’d want her space and wouldn’t want him to see her when she’s sick. She hadn’t even considered that but in the end she agreed that that was thoughtful of him but she would like him to take at least partial interest in her health in the future. So he makes sure to go visit her at least once a day if she needs to rest in her bedchamber when she’s sick.

12) who clings to the other for comfort when they’re sad or scared?

Neither of them is particularly clingy but Samara does it more. It helps her calm down that she even can think of doing it. She’s never really had anyone to seek real comfort from before him. Her mother always taught her to hide her emotions and not let anyone know she has weaknesses. And while she doesn’t feel completely comfortable with showing her emotions even with Erendor, she trusts him enough to do it.

13) who is more ‘physically passionate’? (hugs, kisses, or maybe more…)

Neither of them really is but Erendor initiates more of their physical contact than Samara does. It’s still rare, however, and the only kind of touch outside the bedroom is him taking her hand sometimes at breakfast or when they’re walking around in the garden. And of course, dancing when they’re throwing a ball. Samara likes dancing and Erendor indulges her even if he is not particularly graceful and lands somewhere closer to the clumsy side. She hasn’t complained by him stepping on her toes although it has happened a handful of times.

#winx club #winx erendor #winx samara #erendor x samara #winx headcanons

[send-me-your-hcs]

Forever Ch22

Collab fic with @ceratonia-siliqua (check their blog next week for the next chapter!)

Read on ao3

Warnings: Unhealthy/codependent relationship, possessive behavior, dark themes, check ao3 for additional warnings.

Bucky knew that, eventually, mouthing off to Pierce was going to come back and bite him in the ass.

He was still a little surprised by how long it took, though. Bucky left for his next mission two days after he and Peter went dancing, and only needed nine days this time around to cross another four names off HYDRA’s list. When he returned home, he resolutely decided a break was in order, and despite Pierce’s consternation spent the next three weeks holed up with Peter in their home.

It was too hard being away from him. Bucky couldn’t stand the aching pit howling inside his chest whenever he and Peter were separated. He only felt like a human being when his boy was at his side. After all his years of military service, being captured and tortured during the war, returning to a life of more death and violence and then spending a decade in a high-security prison…Bucky didn’t often feel like anything more than a machine designed to cause human suffering.

But with Peter – with Peter, Bucky was someone else. He was human. He was a vessel of pleasure and love, reborn by the blinding light of Peter’s smile whenever the boy looked at him. When those doe eyes fixed on him, honey-warm and glowing with affection, Bucky didn’t feel like a monster or a machine of death. For the first time that he could remember, he felt like who he truly was: Peter’s soulmate.

To walk away from all that and drive across the country, killing fearful men who had incurred HYDRA’s wrath…it was harder than Bucky ever thought it would be. The killing never used to bother him. They were criminals, they were scum, they were grown men who played the game and lost. It never weighed on his conscience until Peter came along. It wasn’t that Bucky pitied his targets – far from that – but he felt like the person he was becoming in Peter’s virtuous presence diminished and cracked a little more every time he left for one of Pierce’s missions.

Which was why he mouthed off at the end of those three weeks, when Pierce called him at the ass crack of dawn and demanded to know when he would be leaving next.

Bucky stumbled out of bed, trying not to wake Peter as he tiptoed down the stairs to his office. He shut the door quietly and growled, “It’s too early for this shit.”

“On the contrary, Soldier, this is well overdue. You have been slacking. I want you to deploy. Today.”

Bucky gritted his teeth and paced in front of his desk. Pierce’s tone had entirely lost all semblance of patience that it once held. “I’ve cut your list in half since I was released, Pierce. What more do you want from me?”

“I want you to do what you were paid to do. That list was only the first of many. There are several more names to be added to it, and you are behind schedule. I thought I made my expectations very clear to you when I released you, Soldier. I want it done.”

“I can’t exactly pack my car up and leave on a six week hunt to go chase all these rats down. I have to take care of it little by little, otherwise it’ll be too hard to explain.”

Pierce laughed without sounding amused in the slightest. “Why on earth are you bothering to explain anything? I’ve supplied you with everything you need. A man three times Peter’s size would need a stick of dynamite to get out of that basement. Throw the boy in and be done with it. I’ll send someone once a day to feed him while you’re gone.”

The phone creaked under the pressure of Bucky’s metal hand. “You expect me to leave him with one of your goons?”

“James,” Pierce said, like Bucky was the stupid one. “The door has a slot for food at the bottom, and you’d be the only one with the key to open it fully. For heaven’s sake, they’re not even going to see the boy. Stop making this very simple matter more complicated than it needs to be. Lock the boy up and finish your job.”

“I can’t lock him up,” Bucky said, realizing distantly that he’d never shown Pierce as much emotion as he was in this very moment. “I can’t do that to him. I can’t. He’d never forgive me.”

Pierce sighed, a long-suffering sound, like a parent who’d been saddled with an unruly toddler for too many hours. “Then you’d best get your story straight, Soldier, because the next time I call you, it won’t be to ask.” His voice dropped several octaves, the clearest threat Bucky had ever heard. “Do you understand.”

A short, emotionless, “Yes,” was all Bucky could muster up.

“Good.” The threat slipped from Pierce’s tone, just like that. Ever the two-faced politician able to flip on a dime. “Honestly, you give that boy even more freedom than we give you, it’s absurd. Especially after the little stunt he pulled when your old pal Steve came knocking.”

For a moment, Bucky’s heart stopped in his chest. “You…”

“ – Know about that? Don’t be stupid. Of course I do. Do you think anyone gets within a mile of my enforcer’s front door without my knowledge?”

He supposed it made sense, but Bucky was still stunned by the revelation. He always suspected Pierce was spying on them, tapped into every line, spying through every lens, but until now, he hadn’t thought much about it beyond a haughty, enjoy the show, you sick fuck.

Hearing Pierce actually comment on what he’d seen during said spying drastically changed Bucky’s feelings on the matter. “You have no right – ”

“That’s an odd way of saying thank you. Who do you think has kept your little friend so busy these last several weeks, hmm? Not to mention Tony Stark himself, who, by the way, has gone from an arrogant little son of a bitch to a completely insufferable one ever since you ran off with his little princess.”

Bucky’s head felt like it was spinning on its axis. “What?”

“You let Steve Rogers walk out of your home after catching you with a billionaire’s missing son,” Pierce said, slowly, enunciating every word. “I consider that a bit of a liability, so I took it upon myself to monitor the situation in case Rogers gets any bright ideas. The city commissioned him to do some work – a ridiculously large job that will keep him preoccupied for months – while I’ve been personally feeding Stark false leads and information to keep him too busy to answer any phone calls from guilty-conscience-riddled loose-ends.”

He didn’t know what to say. Didn’t even know if he could, given how tightly his throat had closed up. “…Thanks.”

“You are given far more freedom than any other member of my staff, thanks to your track record,” Pierce said. “If you take advantage of that privilege, you will lose it. Have I made myself clear?”

“Crystal.”

“Then we’re done,” Pierce said, and added before hanging up: “Today, Soldier.”

The phone clicked, the call disconnected, and left Bucky standing silently in his office. His head was reeling. What the fuck was he going to say to Peter? He supposed he could tell the half-truth – his boss called suddenly, it’s a disaster job, he’ll be gone for a long time, maybe even a month – but would Peter buy it? Would he be upset, or worse, unwilling to stay here by himself for that long?

What if he…

Bucky shook his head, dispelling the evil notion before it could take root in his brain. No. He would not let Pierce manipulate him like that. Not when it came to Peter.

Defeated, Bucky sunk into his desk chair, cradling his head in his hands, desperately trying to think of what to say.

—

Peter wasn’t thrilled, unsurprisingly, but he was understanding. He kept his head down, trying to hide how sad he was as he helped Bucky pack and load the car.

“You still haven’t fixed the trunk yet,” he said, not accusingly, merely commenting on it as he was forced to put one of Bucky’s bags in the backseat. “Do you want me to take a look at it? I’m pretty good with machines and stuff. I could probably figure out what’s jamming it.”

“Maybe when I get back, baby,” Bucky said, putting his overnight bag in the passenger seat and shutting the door, then rounding the car to the other side so he could pull the boy into his arms. “I’m sorry about this.”

“It’s okay,” Peter said, lying, but Bucky loved him for it. “It’s work, I understand. This just shows your boss how good of an employee you are. Maybe you’ll get a promotion or a raise or something.”

Bucky huffed a laugh against the boy’s curls. “Yeah. Maybe.” He pulled back to tilt the boy’s chin up, cupping his cheeks. “You sure you’re not gonna be too lonely without me?”

“I’m lonely just thinking about it,” Peter said, barely louder than a whisper. Bucky’s heart broke in his chest. “But you have to go. I know you wouldn’t be if you didn’t have to. It sucks, but we just have to live with it.”

“I love you,” Bucky said, pressing their foreheads together. “You’re my everything, Peter Stark. One day I won’t ever have to leave your side again, I promise you that.”

“Deal,” Peter said, smiling, and kissed him. “Maybe we could…I don’t know, maybe we could get a dog or something, so it doesn’t feel as bad when you have to leave for a long time.”

Bucky raised his eyebrows at him. “Do you want a dog?”

Peter looked away, blushing. “I mean. We have all this space, this huge yard, even that big fenced-in dog run out back…we could have a dog.”

“We could, if you wanted one, baby.” He took Peter’s hands, lifted them to his mouth, kissed the backs of his palms. He held Peter’s hand in his own and guided him away from the car, around the side of the house, where the chain-link fence of the dog run started.

A thought struck him, insidious and hateful. The dog run was large – meant for big dogs, multiple big dogs. The fence was twelve feet high and forty feet long, wide enough to let something large run around in the fresh air, exercising in full containment.

It twisted his stomach in a knot. The basement was big, but didn’t have much room to run. This, on the other hand, would be plenty of room for someone to run around, stretch out their cramped, aching legs.

Especially someone as small as…

Bucky’s heart leapt into his throat and choked him, silencing the thought before it could fully manifest. He clutched Peter’s hand tightly and asked, “Do you think you could climb out of that thing?”

“Um,” Peter said, giving him a weird look, before surveying the height of the fence. His face set adorably in a look of deep concentration for a moment, then he decided, “Yeah, probably. I mean, it’s chain-link, so it wouldn’t be that hard to climb, I don’t think?”

“Hmm.” Bucky looked from Peter to the dog run and back, smirking playfully. “Do you think you could climb out before I could catch you?”

Peter’s eyes widened. He laughed, “Babe, there’s no way a dog could climb out of that thing! Even if it jumped that high, how would it get over the top?”

“Indulge me,” he said, opening the door to the pen and ushering Peter in. “I bet I can catch you before you make it over the top.”

Giggling, Peter walked to the other end of the run, shaking his head. “You just want an excuse to chase me around.”

“Now that I’m guilty of.”

Peter’s eyes shone, even as he backed away until he was almost at the other side. “What happens if you catch me?”

Bucky thought it over, his face expressionless. Why was he doing this? Why did he want to know how fast Peter could climb out of here? It was never, ever going to be useful knowledge. It wasn’t practical. He already knew the boy was fast, probably even faster than him, if they were talking pure speed. He didn’t need to know just how fast. He didn’t need to.

But the thought nagged, incessant. He had to know. He didn’t know why, but he did. He had to know, if he was at one end of the dog run and Peter was at the other, could Peter climb out before Bucky caught him?

“Well, we’re in a dog run,” Bucky said, grinning to try and ease the tension in his own chest. “So if I catch you, I’m going to fuck you like a dog.”

Peter’s face went tomato-red, soothing the torrent coursing through him. Bucky smiled lecherously at the boy’s shocked, aroused face, looking like he’d had his delicate sensibilities trampled on. A turbulent exhale left his lips, not-so-subtly shifting his weight on his legs as Bucky’s words went straight to his dick.

“I don’t see how that’s a win for only you,” Peter said, almost too quiet for Bucky to hear at this distance. “That’s what I was going to ask for if I won, too.”

Bucky laughed. He gestured for Peter to turn around and said, “Then you’d better get climbing.”

Peter turned, backing up a few feet so he could take a running start. “You’d better not start running as soon as my back is turned!”

That was exactly what Bucky did.

The moment Peter was moving, so was Bucky. He sprinted across the dog run as fast as his legs could go, knowing that, horribly, if this was real, the adrenaline would have him going even faster.

But the same would be true for Peter, who, despite being a faster runner than Bucky, only made it eight feet up the fence before Bucky was slamming into it. Peter yelped and giggled as Bucky caught his ankle, gasping when Bucky leapt up the fence with him and wrenched him off with an arm around his waist.

Bucky bracketed Peter’s body as he slid them down the fence, but the moment his feet touched ground, he wrestled the laughing, flushed boy to the ground and flipped him onto his stomach. Peter shouted and kicked, yelled, “Okay, you win, you win!” but everything was fuzzy at the edges, his vision, his hearing, his sense of touch, like his system had been overloaded.

He didn’t realize he was growling until Peter moaned wetly into the mud as he tore the boy’s clothes off. Peter jerked as he was laid bare, whimpering when Bucky forcefully spread his legs and hiked his hips into the air.

“W-wait, Bucky, do you have lube?” Peter asked, breathless from the tight position and being manhandled.

Bucky blanketed the boy’s entire body and bit his shoulder, hard. Peter yelped again and thrashed underneath him, but his cock was hard as a rock when Bucky lazily thumbed over it with his flesh hand. “Do dogs get lubed when they get mounted and fucked?”

“Oh God.”

The whine Peter made was one of both pain and pleasure as Bucky humped into him. His cock was wet enough for the both of them – not to mention, Peter’s hole was still slightly loose and glistening from their lovemaking this morning. It took a little force to plunge the head in, but once it was, the rest of his shaft was sucked right in to his boy’s waiting, welcoming body.

Peter made a long, shuddering sound as he was mounted. Bucky sat up on his knees, metal hand tight around the back of the boy’s neck, keeping his face pinned into the mud. Peter was trying to push away from the ground with both hands, but Bucky didn’t let him – Peter knew his safeword. Bucky trusted him to use it, if he really needed to.

And judging by how hard and loud the boy was moaning, he couldn’t be hating it that much. His little cock was bouncing and slapping against his belly with every thrust, and that was more than enough for Bucky. He gripped Peter tight by the hip with his free hand and bore down on him with his full weight, fucking him like he truly was trying to impale him on his cock.

The choked-out, pitiful noises Peter was making sent Bucky over the edge, blowing his load inside of Peter without stopping the brutal pace of his thrusts. He wrapped his right hand around Peter’s dick and jerked it hard and fast until Peter spilled all over the ground, shouting at the top of his lungs in a broken, slutty voice that sounded suspiciously like Bucky’s own name.

Panting, exhausted, Bucky sat back on his ass and brought Peter with him, cradling him in his lap. The boy was filthy – mud painted his entire front, his chest, his face, his hair. He was breathing hard, eyes closed, mouth panting, his skin still cherry-red and flushed beautifully.

Bucky kissed him, not caring one bit for the mud that stuck to his lips, and carried the boy inside for a hot bath.

—

Peter still had a towel draped over his head, utterly nude except for one of Bucky’s huge T-shirts hanging off him like a dress. He was sulky and pouty about Bucky leaving as they said their goodbyes in the mudroom, until he suddenly perked up and said, “Oh shit, wait a minute!”

He reached up and grabbed the letter he had pinned there – the one Bucky had purposefully forgotten, the last time he left for a mission, and held it out to Bucky. Tony Stark’s name and address stared up at him on the dusty white paper of the envelope. “Can’t forget this again. You’re still okay with mailing it for me, right?”

“Of course, sweetheart,” Bucky said, kissing the boy deeply as he took and pocketed the letter. “You know I’d do anything for you.”

Smiling, Peter sighed into the kiss and happily accepted Bucky’s tongue when it prodded against his lips. Bucky pulled away before his cock could get any more interested in the activity, crushed Peter against him in a hug and said, “I’m going to miss you so fucking badly.”

“I’ll miss you too,” Peter said. He sounded so heartbroken, Bucky wanted to cry. “Please come back soon.”

“I will, baby,” he said, kissing him again. “I love you. I’ll come back to you as soon as I can.”

He had every intention of keeping that promise. If luck was on his side, maybe, just maybe, this mission wouldn’t take a full month or more. Maybe he could wrap everything up in three weeks and make it home before the isolation became too much for Peter. He had to try. He’d never been a religious man, but God, was he praying for some luck now.

The only stop he made was ten minutes down the road, when he pulled over, took the letter from his pocket, and set it ablaze with his lighter. He watched the ashes scatter in the slight breeze and mentally begged Peter’s forgiveness, before crawling back inside his car, shutting the door, and driving away.

#winterspider #bucky x peter #bucky barnes x peter parker #winterspider prison fic #ceratonia-siliqua

[simpsonsnight]

Episode #97

Homer Loves Flanders Season 5 - Episode 16 | March 17, 1994

Man this episode is so great. Like, I’m hard pressed to call this one of my all-time favorites, but Jesus Christ it’s almost perfect. This did have a gag that I remember finding very frustrating when I was a kid, which was the part where the scalper buys up all the tickets and just offers to pay the box office person back later. That part always seemed far too far-fetched, even when I was young. Never struck me as particularly funny and it’s all because my ten-year-old brain couldn’t wrap my brain around it. Okay  but here are the great gags in this one: Homer loses the tickets on a radio contest to Ned Flanders, and turns the station in rage, and “Two Tickets to Paradise” is playing, and he for some reason fails to recognize the irony of hearing the song as a salt-in-the-wounds indignity and just starts jamming out to it instead. That is so fucking beautiful. I’m so jealous of this scene. This one also has the part where Lenny and/or Carl call Homer gay. I remember howling at this gag as a child and boy howdy, I howled now. I laughed as a VERY COURAGEOUS political act in these days of the FREAKING PC MILLENNIAL POLICE constantly monitoring my rude joys. If they saw me laugh... they would probably start a freaking riot So, okay, I always made this VERY SMART point by regurgitating other people’s observations about how one of the ways that The Simpsons fundamentally changed was by the defanging of some of their more despicable characters like Moe the bartender and Mr. Burns the boss. I always remembered the bit where Moe is revealed to be a secret softy who reads books to sick children at the hospital. Turns out that’s from this episode, in season freaking 5! Well, my point still stands, I’d just refine my main gripe to Moe being a sadsack lonelyheart being his main characteristic these days. The jokes in this episode are only funny with OLD Moe, who WAS a disgusting amoral pig who was as ugly on the inside as he was on the outside. If you attempted these jokes today the punchline would probably be him getting rejected by the hospital patients. This episode also has the scene where Homer emerges and un-emerges from the bushes, ass seen in a popular GIF. For some reason, I always thought that scene occurred in a post-classic season. Amazing! I also never noticed that the scene begins with Homer emerging from the bushes in a very similar way. It’s really funny if you know to look for it. UNDERRATED LINE TOWARDS THE END: “That’s beautiful, we appreciate the kisses” - Rev. Lovejoy

MAIL BAG

Why do I even bother writing an intro for the MAIL BAG segment? Isn’t the title self-explanatory?

are you seriously never gonna do a bsode again? what are you nuts?

This is the “what are you nuts?” guy who kidnapped my son and taunts me with stuff like “what are you never going to see your son again? what are you nuts?” and “you’re never gonna kiss your boy on the lips ever again? what are you nuts” and now he’s (or she’s! musn’t be sexist) found my blog? What are you going to just kill my son because I haven’t paid the ransom? what are YOU, NUTS?? doesn’t feel so good, does it? dirtbag!

thanks for the shout out in your recent post. the pleasure is all mine!

lol this was sent to me months ago so I have no idea to what it’s referring. tumblr DMs aren’t dated! Isn’t that cool and useful???

Any chance you can change the image you attached to the Sweetest Apu entry to your blog? The one with the lucious baby doing the "Do Me" twizzler? Every time I scroll to far to see it I get ridiculously horny for it and it's fucking me up big time with the misses and my personal self-esteem. You don't have to even change it to another shot from the show everyone read that blog just change it to like a charmless duck in a wading pool. For christ's sake.

this is a problem that has worked itself out by virtue of the fact that that write-up is very old and nowhere near the top of the page anymore, but for those of us who have red-hot american blood pumping through our veins, check this out: (TUMBLR DOESN’T ALLOW PORNOGRAPHY ANYMORE SO JUST GOOGLE “ANNETTE TAYLOR RULE 34″)

#simpsons #season 5

[shewhohangsoutincemeteries]

the simple things

Guardians x Reader

Summary: a purely self-indulgent reader-insert version of (most of) the guardians’ first encounter. (some dialogue lifted straight from gotg).

Characters/Pairings: reader, rocket raccoon, peter quill, groot, gamora

Warnings: minor language, violence.

Word Count: 2,160

marvel masterlist or check out my fanfic dedicated blog

“Xandarians. What a bunch of losers.” Rocket declared, eyes on the monitor in his paws. “All of them in a big hurry to get from somethin’ stupid, to nothin’ at all. Pathetic.”

You rolled your eyes good-naturedly, leaning back on your hands comfortably. You were sitting on the edge of the fountain in the city square, face turned upwards to catch the day’s warmth on your skin. After two weeks in that shitty commuter ship the three of you had hitched a ride on a few planets over, you were completely content to relax and enjoy the sunlight, but Rocket had these crazy notions about getting paid. He’d spent the entire journey talking about making a score, and you’d spent just as much time wishing for the iPod you’d left on Terra those years back. You liked a payday just as much as he did, but you were really sick of hearing about it

“While you’ve got nothing but important, life-or-death plans, right?” you said snidely, a hand raised. With a practiced flick of your fingers a small bubble of psychokinetic energy appeared above you, shining in the sunlight. You guided it higher with a few gentle movements of your hand, letting it float away like a bubble. When it got too high, you’d let it disappear, and start all over again.

“Would you stop showin’ off?” he replied, pointing the tablet at a blonde-haired man walking by, shopping bag in hand.  “Look at this guy! Can you believe they call us criminal, when he’s assaulting us with that haircut?” Without waiting for an answer, he turned it toward a small child, dawdling along the sidewalk with its father. “What is this thing?”

You released your latest bubble with a sigh and followed his gaze, raising your hand to shield your face. You shook your head in exasperation. “It’s a baby, Rocket.”

“Look how it thinks it’s so cool. It’s not cool to get help! Walk by yourself, you little gargoyle.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes again. You returned to sunning yourself pointedly, kicking a boot up along the fountain’s edge in front of you. The other was planted on the sidewalk. You dipped a hand in the water, enjoying the coolness of it on your fingertips. “Again, it’s a baby. They tend to need a hand every now and then… say, like you after too many drinks?”

“Stop spoilin’ the fun, Y/N,” he said, turning his head so you could catch the edge of his smile. You grinned lazily back. “I mean, look at this. Look at Mr. Smiles over here.” You followed where he was pointing; an old man was cozying up to a much younger woman against a railing, his hand around her waist. “Where’s your wife, old man? What a class-A pre-vert.”

You smirked despite yourself as Rocket burst into laughter.

“Right, Groot? …Groot?” he turned towards the two of you when he got no answer. He gestured in exasperation as he did. “Don’t drink the fountain water, you idiot! That’s disgustin’!”

You coughed a laugh as Groot turned, mouth and hand still dripping, shaking his head.

“Yes, you did! I just saw you doin’ it! Why are you lyin’?” he rounded on you. “Why didn’t you stop him?”

“He’s a plant, Rocket.” you pointed out, leaning forward briefly to pat Groot’s hand reassuringly. He smiled widely at you. “I don’t think it’s gonna hurt him.”

“It’s unsanitary,” Rocket griped petulantly. His ears perked up as his tablet sounded, and he dropped the issue immediately, distracted. You arched your neck to see the read-out over his shoulder. He held it up as it flashed, trying to find a focus. “Look’s like we got one.”

“That was fast.”

He pointed it toward a man on one of the upper streets and you straightened to get a look at him. Good-looking, and talking to a woman. “Okay, humie.” Rocket said, and you paused, eyebrow raised. “How bad does someone want to find you…? Forty thousand units? Groot, Y/N… we’re gonna be rich!”

He sighed as he turned to face the two of you – Groot had his face buried in the fountain again. You barely noticed – your eyes were still on the man, now headed toward a few smaller businesses down the way. “Groot, damn it…”

“Did you say he was Terran?” you asked, curiously. You hadn’t seen someone else from Terra in… you weren’t sure how long. People like you didn’t tend to end up off planet, let alone out of the milky way.

“Yeah, you can swap childhood stories once we got him sedated and on a ship,” Rocket said sarcastically. “Now, would you two focus up. We got a bounty to collect.”

*******************************************************************************************

You watched carefully as the target – Peter Quill (also known to go by the moniker ‘Star-Lord’, according to his wanted listing) – stumbled backwards out of a small pawn brokerage, the ball he’d been throwing around earlier still in hand. You were sitting on a wall further down the way, close enough to keep an eye on him, far enough away to be inconspicuous. An attractive  Zehoberei woman lingered by the doorway – and had been since he’d gone inside – and he stopped to speak to her. You couldn’t hear their conversation, but your fingers twitched as your eyes tracked her body language.

It had changed as soon as he’d stepped outside; she was alluring, and she was laying it on thick. Either she was a hooker, or he was a mark of a different kind. He was just too stupid to see it.

“Rocket, eyes up. I don’t trust this chick.” you muttered into the communicator on your jacket collar, feigning a languid stretch of your arms above your head.

“Keep your shirt on, woman.” he grumbled back. You weren’t entirely sure where he and Groot were, but you knew they were nearby. None of you were willing to let that many units slip away. “We got it.”

“This chick has him marked.” you shot back. “How am I supposed to distract him if he’s already got eyes on her?”

“Oh, c’mon, Y/N—”

“Shit! Move in, NOW!” you ordered, uncaring about your volume. You jumped to your feet, flinging yourself away from the wall. The Zehnobereian had just snatched that thing out of his hand and kicked him in the chest, sending him stumbling back with a grunt. She’d taken off impressively fast through the crowd, and equally impressive, Quill had thrown a magnetic rope after her and followed.

You chased after them, pushing your way through shocked pedestrians as the woman struggled to free her legs where the rope had caught. Quill launched himself at her as she succeeded and she kicked, landing two boots to the stomach for his effort. The two of them fell into a brawl on the pavement, and you were still about fifteen feet away when he reached for the gun on his belt. She trapped his hand with her boot, trapping him beneath her, a knife suddenly in her hand.

“This wasn’t the plan.” she told him, raising the blade above her head. You shoved a gawking woman out of your way, swinging your hands up in front of you to force them apart.

“Rocket!”

He caught the woman from the side, knocking her to the ground. He struggled on top of her as Groot approached, a sack in hand. “Put him in the bag! Put him in the bag!”

You had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes, momentarily distracted, as Groot’s roots began to wind themselves around the woman. Quill was still on his back, eyes wide with confusion.

“No! Not her, him! Learn genders, man!” Rocket shouted, struggling to hold her back as she stood. His claws were in her hair, dangerously close to her eyes, scratching up her face as Groot tightened his hold around her middle. You were trying to find an opening to subdue her, but with her entangled in Groot’s roots, there wasn’t much you could do. While your abilities were an asset, they meant you’d never really needed to be competent in hand-to-hand altercations. “Y/N, a little hel—Ah!” he withdrew a paw. “Biting? That’s not fair!”

“Goddamn it! Groot, let her go, I got it!”

Quill’s eyes flew to you at the sound of your voice,  his forehead creasing for a second before he shook himself and took off, orb in hand.

“Shit!” you cursed again, taking off after him. You wove your way through the throng of people between you, pushing people out of the way with two hands. You just needed a clear line of sight—

“Y/N!” Rocket’s voice brought you skidding to a stop, and you turned to see him thrown from the balcony. The woman had broken free from Groot and had flung him off of herself, and you caught him with a shield moments before he hit glass. It softened his landing slightly, but it would still hurt. She was leaping off the wall to the square below, a sword in hand, and you turned to find Quill at a standstill, orb gone from his hand.

“I guess she’s not in it for the bounty,” you muttered as he launched himself off the upper-street as well, a rocket-pack from his boot in his hand. Groot was gone, and you rolled your eyes, cracking your neck as you ran for the nearest stairs. “Why is nothing ever easy?”

You’d made it to the lower-street just as Groot managed to throw his sack over Quill’s head, and you wiped a hand over your forehead. You panted, catching your breath as you fell into step beside Rocket. “So, what’d I miss?”

“You still got those quick reflexes, doll,” he said, giving you a quick smirk before turning to head down the stairs. He turned to speak to Groot as he went. “Quit smilin’, ya idiot. You’re supposed to be a professional.”

He stopped in his tracks, sobering, as he turned to find the Zehobereian in front of him, soaking wet and sword still clutched in her fist. “You gotta be kidding me.”

She pushed him to the ground without a glance, eyes on Groot. He dropped the sack, backing up a few steps. You flung up your hand as she raised her blade, a forcefield appearing between them and throwing her back a few feet.

Putting you in the middle.

Fury in her eyes, she turned her attention on you, and you grimaced, stepping between her and Groot in the hope she’d be distracted long enough for him to get the payload out of there. Or at least away from her crazy self. “Uh… whoops?”

The woman spun, so quick you didn’t have time to react, her kick catching you in the stomach. The wind left you in a heaving exhale, and your feet left the ground as you were thrown backwards. You landed in a heap on top of Quill – still trapped in the sack – and heard him grunt in surprise.

“Sorry,” you wheezed, hand clutching at your stomach as you struggled to catch your breath.

The woman hadn’t paused, and she cut off both of Groot’s arms and buried the blade in his stomach in a matter of moments. Satisfied he was no longer a threat, she turned and bent down in front of you, opening the sack. She was flung back, body shaking with electricity and suddenly unconscious. You were jostled to the ground as Quill stood, and you coughed a breathless laugh as he shot you a wink and what could have been a flirty smirk before taking off at a sprint.

Rocket pulled the blaster from his back. He spoke to you over his shoulder where you sat painfully on the pavement. “You wanna do the honors?”

“’s all yours,” you replied with some difficulty, waving a hand towards Quill’s retreating back. Rocket grinned, taking aim and setting it to ‘stun’.

“I live for the simple things. Like how much this is gonna hurt.” He fired, and a ball of electricity was launched across the square and straight into Quill’s back. Rocket snickered as he fell to the ground with a shout. “Yeah. Writhe, little man.”

He turned to you with a grin. “Only thing that comes close to that satisfyin’ is when you have ‘em run right into one of those walls of yours.” He laughed loudly, high on success. He stopped short as Groot whimpered, toeing pitifully at his fallen arm. Rocket rolled his eyes. “It’ll grow back, you d’ast idiot. Quit whining.”

You gasped as you were suddenly lifted from the ground, held weightless a few feet from the pavement by suppression beams. You looked up, sighing heavily as you were met with the sight of five Nova Corps ships hovering above you. “Looks like we’re not getting paid.”

“Subject Eight-Nine-P-One-Three, drop your weapon.”

Rocket dropped his gun reluctantly, ears drooping in defeat. “Oh, crap.”

.

.

.

.

tags: @lovely-dreamer19​ @spacesuitsforemergency​ @wittyforachange​ @wefracturedmotivation​ @january-echoes​ @glossyloner​ @dragon-chica​

#peter quill #rocket raccoon #gamora #groot #peter quill x reader #peter quill x you #peter quill & reader #peter quill & you #peter quill imagine #peter quill reader insert #peter quill fanfic #peter quill fanfiction #rocket raccoon x you #rocket raccoon x reader #rocket raccoon & reader #rocket raccoon & you #rocket raccoon imagine #rocket raccoon reader insert #rocket raccoon fanfic #rocket raccoon fanfiction #star lord x reader #star lord x you #star lord & reader #star lord & you #star lord imagine #star lord reader insert #star lord fanfic #star lord fanfiction #marvel #marvel fanfic

[mineofilms]

2020… My Life… Everything Else Is Just Blurry…

Where to begin… I have been a type 2 diabetic since 2013. I got diabetes from excessive partying/drinking, originally. I continued to behave like this till June 2020. Granted, I wasn’t going as hard, in general, over the years, but each year and hardship I found myself going back to those old vices more frequently.

When the pandemic struck SWFL my drinking went up about 400%. No joke. I trained 4 days on and drank the other 3 days, hard. I did that from March to late June.

I caught Covid-19 around June 26th. By July 11th I needed to be hospitalized for Diabetic Ketoacidosis (where the body produces excess blood acids; ketones. This occurs when there isn't enough insulin in the body. It can be triggered by infection or other illness.) & Pancreatitis (inflammation of the pancreas. It happens when digestive enzymes start digesting the pancreas itself.) I was in ICU for 36 hours and in the hospital for 5 days. I lost 21 lbs over that time.

3 days after I got home from the hospital, Macular Edema (blood vessels in the retina burst and bleed into the eyes), set in. That took about a month to heal only for Diabetic Retinopathy (those same blood vessels that burst heal and are inflamed).

Usually requires anti-inflammatory shots into the eye ball and laser surgery to burn away some of the excess scar tissue. These cost thousands of dollars without insurance, which I do not have. I have read that they can heal on their own, but it takes about 8-12 months. I am in month 4.

However, I actually cannot confirm if that statement about them healing on their own is actually true or not. Some notes in journals say yes while other, more creditable sites, say no. One must get treatment.

Now let me be clear that Covid-19 did not cause my Diabetic Ketoacidosis & Pancreatitis. My lack of proper care for my diabetes caused these. I was already in the yellow and when I got Covid-19 it just put me in the RED. I now, at this point, required medical care or I would die. Those are the facts about me getting Covid-19, my Diabetic Ketoacidosis & Pancreatitis…

Flash-Forward to now… I got my blood sugars down to near normal (high) levels. This means my blood sugar is still high, but for me, I used to walk around at 400. 500-600 is diabetic coma. 80-120 is considered normal. I walk around between 130-230, currently, fasted.

I have not had a drink since June 26th. I will never drink again. I can’t.

1) Alcohol has thoroughly ruined my adult life in all sorts of areas besides this. It got me sick to begin with among, other, things.

2) If I drink I could be back in the hospital with Diabetic Ketoacidosis & Pancreatitis, again.

3) I made a deal with GOD. If I have to live through this (I prayed to die that night) that I would never drink again.

What kind of dick lies to GOD lol? A decade ago I would have… I hated everything about the concept of GOD. Now, I have come to terms that if there is or there isn’t; it doesn’t matter. I value me, my beliefs. Why not carry myself with that respect. I do not need to tell or share my beliefs with others. I care not for such things.

I am solely worried about my mental, physical, emotional, sexual and spiritual health.

I did not quit drinking because of addiction issues or any of that business. I made the choice because if I didn’t my pancreas would fail and I would be dead in a few months. That is how bad my pancreas was… I do not see myself as someone that is doing all this for attention. I have barely even made mention of this whole story on my social media. I have told people in direct messages, but I do not post everything that is happening in my life on social media.

Granted this Tumblr account is considered social media, but I do not use it for that purpose. It is strictly for my BLOG entries. I do not follow people on Tumblr. I post, get my URL and share it that way. Its not in your face on Facebook or anything, but one can click the link and go read about the crazy things in my head.

Taking care of my mental, physical, emotional, sexual and spiritual health is a full time job in and of itself. Now, currently I cannot work. I can only drive during the day. I cannot see well enough to drive at night.

I have other medical issues stemming from this and it is quite the laundry list. However, I think I gave you all enough to think about.

I am back in great shape now. Since I quit drinking and got back from the hospital I went from 119 to 163 lbs. I have not been this big since 2012. Right before I believe my Diabetic State started. My strength is coming back with a vengeance too. I am putting up more weight than I have in nearly a decade.

I have had to make serious and big changes to EVERYTHING in my life.

My computer is now changed from dual 22 inch monitors to one 46 inch monitor. I have to make changes like this just to see well enough to do some things on the computer.

I am still very blind. My vision has decent days and some days I cannot see much of anything. I cannot see my phone without a magnifying glass. I just got my eyes looked at several times cause my power keeps shifting and now my current glasses setup does not exactly help much. My computer glasses are ok for this, but my normal bifocals are pretty useless.

However; I do feel like I can write a little bit more now. I have a few blogs I want to write and then go right back into the novel. This might be the only realistic possibility of me being able to work to earn my keep. Normal 9-5, Monday-Friday are out of the question, indefinitely.

Not only am I not well enough for the grind, physically. My mental health is very questionable. I have had issues for years now. I have had about 20 jobs in 15 years. I have done a real number on my mental health over the years. Always trying to do more, work harder than the next person so I can make that “good money” that some always throw in my face. I did the work. I put in the time, but only to be messed with. Yes, I have that sort of mental issue.

One tries to mess with me. Mess with the positive shit I am doing. I lose my head pretty quick. I have repeatedly demonstrated over the course of my life that I have no restraint at all when it comes to that feeling of being seriously fucked with and have them look at you like; “What are you gonna do about it?”

Well that is it… I always do something about it. Even when I know I shouldn’t. It is my worst impulsive trait that I cannot get a handle on. Ever since I was a kid. I wanna say. It started when I was 11 or so.

I have made huge strides in changing my life, my thinking and how I fit into the scheme of things. I have become more an introvert than an extrovert. Even before the pandemic I was going out less and less. Doing things less and less. It got to a point to where I only went out when I could drink and/or the band was playing. I was already becoming less social. So this is nothing overly drastic about that UNLESS you count Facebook activity.

I have not advertised much on my Facebook and for good reasons… I posted about my 6 months of sobriety and the responses I got were all about, pressing on and “the struggle.”

I pulled it down. There was no struggle here. I am not a keep on keepin’ on mannnnnn… Type of Personality… No… I quit drinking so I can live another 10-15, hopefully more, years.  I just went through a friend dying from literally drinking himself to death. I know what people go through with their addiction struggles. I have my own reservations about how I feel about said subject matter.

Needless to say I did not appreciate how people view me on Facebook. I no longer post blogs their either. I post here on tumblr and put a link on my Facebook if anyone wants to read. That is about it.

I know people do not read more than a handful of sentences that ends with a weird hashtag or snapchat handle. I get it. It is also my fault because I have not told the Facebook wall/timeline of my mental and medical conditions and struggles. I reserve those conversations to be personal.

So if you want to know stuff, then let us get personal. Pretty much that simple. I do not do FAKE FRIENDS…

I try to be transparent. In the past it was easy, but now everyone has an opinion that they call facts. I do not know how many people I blocked on Facebook for being so damn ignorant or attention seeking.

I know I do not do attention seeking things. When I write it is with intention to say something. I would say 1600+ words on these subjects merits a little more than “attention seeking” behavior…

Things are looking up. I have done soooooooooo much. With so very little and make it look like I have a lot and that everything is fine. No. God Damnit… Everything is not fine. I am kicking ass trying to make something fine but not everything. Everything will never be FINE… Not ever. However, I can strive for it. I can continue to put in that work and just ignore the dumb shit. Which I am becoming pretty good at. I am still me. I am still blunt. If I rough feathers that is just my way of getting those people away from me.

Goodbye 2020… You will never be forgotten and your mark has definitely been left…

2020… My Life… Everything Else Is Just Blurry… By David-Angelo Mineo Words 1,738  12/30/2020

[lightningthor]

Had to do a separate post for this instead of an answer, formatting was fighting me. I’m gonna try and put my thoughts under the cut. Please keep in mind that English in not my native language.

Firstly, hi! You’ve been here for a long time.

And now, it may be my view as a European but i will never, ever understand judging a celebrity or an idol by their fanbase. I immediately thought back to this ask anon asked Chaya. Why on earth should i judge a celebrity based on their fans? I’ve been on the internet long enough to know what kind of terrible people are on here. XZ has tens of thousands of fans, the idea that he can somehow control them or something is absolutely ridiculous. Should he constantly monitor them like children? It’s impossible. In his new interview he pretty much says: Don’t do anything extreme and for the love of all that is holy act normal.

He said it perfectly himself when asked about if idols should control their fans: “I don’t think the relationship i have with people who love and support me is one of superior and subordinate. The word "control", I don't think we have a superior-subordinate relationship. Rather, I think our relationship is as equals. For me, as an artist, a public figure, and as myself, what i need to do is do my job well. Act well, sing well, treat my work seriously. Do things to encourage positivity and guide the people who love me.“ And then he was like: don’t do anything extreme, don’t hurt anyone, be normal. I agree 100%. It’s not his fucking job to control a bunch of people he’s never met. He’s responsible for himself and his actions.

I’m sure that as a WB user you know that fan behavior regarding idols is completely insane. Stalking? normal. wiretapping? happens. So the notion that idols can stop their “fans” from being mean is...hmm...hilarious.

I feel like XZ was just caught in the middle of a fanbase war. It was his fans and antis who were one-upping each other and in the end he is hated for it? Sorry but I can’t understand that. And i’m pretty sure his fans were not the only ones doing the bullying. Example:

“There’s a strange exhilaration that comes from destroying a person” I’m sorry but what the actual flaming fuck.

Plus more normal things like, you know, telling XZ fans to go kill themselves. If this is the kind of accounts that were purged than i’m not surprised. Though i’m sure, like i said, that it was absolutely mutual.

Ao3 is so important, i love ao3 and will defend it to death and i’m so sorry for Chinese users. But @lan-xichens really opened my eyes that ao3 was probably already in the process of being banned because you mean to tell me that with all the works there, the Chinese government was like “Aight, we could excuse everything else, the explicit m/m and w/w works, the rpfs about countless idols, but rpfs about this one guy? no. BAN IT” like hmmmm. What was XZ supposed to do? He wakes up one day in quarantine being hated for the fact that some people wrote porn about him and his costar, other people reported that and suddenly it’s a shitshow. But what gets me the most is that he APOLOGIZED. I nearly had a stroke, why would HE apologize? Or in the words of this post “upsetting to watch a man try to simultaneously apologize for inspiring pornography and for inspiring people to report said pornography to the chinese government when he really should not have to apologize for either of those things, which he accomplished by existing in a public space.  “

He can’t be responsible for thousands of people he doesn’t know and their actions and opinions. And he still fucking apologized.  He also apologized for some comments he posted when he was 19-20 and first started using Weibo. It’s obvious he doesn’t even KNOW if he said something wrong in them, he’s just apologizing for the possibility that he may have said something inappropriate in them. That’s a whole other post though. Digging up a decade old comments and such and cancel culture... like if you go back in my tumblr a few years you will be in hell.

I can’t imagine what he could have said to stop this. Should he have just written “Stop it, I’m glad that people are writing explicit fanfics about me and my friend.”? From what i’ve seen, people hate him completely irrationally. The thing is, no matter what he says, he will be hated and cyber-bullied and slandered. It sadly comes with all the idol stuff. You will be loved AND hated pretty much no matter what you do. And the more success you have the more crazy it will be and he is one of the biggest celebrities after the Untamed. I’m just sorry that chinese fans received such a blow just because a bunch of people are complete psychopaths. Because they are not fans. No matter what these idiots call themselves they are most definitely not his fans, they think they own him and his career. Fuck them, that’s what.

I don’t think he fears losing his fans, he used to be a normal person working a normal job and said that he’s not afraid of going back to that. Now he’s told everyone to please be fucking normal for a hot sec. But the people who ARE his fans? He’s proud of them and the donations and so glad for their support and for sharing their love. He’s inspired by them, by their donations to charity in his name, he wants to live up to the love and attention they give him, wants to be better because of them. He doesn’t say: yep, i’m responsible for the donations they made, be glad you have me. He’s just touched and inspired by it.

I’m sure there’s much more to this story. When i tried to read up on it i was just feeling completely sick because what the fuck. But in the end i stand by my words. Never judge a celebrity based on their fanbase, especially the most obnoxious and loud part. I’ve been on tumblr long enough to see that even here, blogs who have a few thousand followers are dragged into shit created by their followers. HERE. ON TUMBLR. Where we’re all cringy and completely unimportant and irrelevant. I can’t imagine all the shit that goes on in the depths of idol fandom - the scariest place on earth.

#anon #ask #really hope this makes sense #i'm still so angry over his upset face #he's not responsible for anyone other than himself

[fanfics4all]

The Only Way

Request: Yes / No  Ik request are closed but when u open them can u do a vampire KJ and human reader where KJ is hungry and reader is like drink mine but he drinks to much and she passes out when she waks up hes worried about her and how he thinks her heart stopped then a couple days she feels sick so they take her to the hospital to find out shes dying and they find out bc kj gave her some type of venom and only way she can live is to become one so ita takes some weeks as she slowly dies and he does it for her @loxbbg

Requests are open only if you have a cute thanksgiving/ fall activity request! ONLY OPEN FOR THIS FOR ANOTHER 7 DAYS! <3 Have a nice day/night

Vampire!KJ Apa x Fem!Reader 

Word count: 1595

Warnings: dying

Y/N: Your Name 

Y/N/N: Your Nickname 

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you! 

Masterlist 

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

I met KJ when we were working on a movie together. We fell for each other instantly, something just drew me to him. After the movie we went on a few dates and then made it official. A year after us dating something happened. KJ got attacked by a vampire and well they made him one. He hated it at first and tried to hide it from me, but I found out when I walked in on him downing a squirrel’s blood. I was shocked at first, but I loved him and I was gonna help him. Since then we’ve been working on how to deal with his thirst. He wouldn’t drink from me though, he made that very clear. His cast mates on Riverdale knew what happened and they didn’t look at him any different.  

Today KJ took me to the Riverdale set with him since I wasn’t working at the moment. My agent hasn’t found anything new for me to do yet and I didn’t mind since it meant I got to spend more time with KJ. He was working really hard and I saw he was getting hungry. I looked in my bag to grab the blood I brought for him, but it wasn't there. My eyes widened when I realized I left it in our fridge. There was no way I could get some animal blood now! I bit my lip and hit my head, how could I be so stupid! 

“Alright break time people!” Someone called and everyone started walking off. KJ walked over to me with a smile and gave me a kiss. 

“Let’s go back to my trailer ay?” He asked and I nodded. I made sure to keep the worry off my face, I didn’t want him to make a scene about my idea around everyone. We got to his trailer and he sat down.

“Babe, can I have some blood?” He asked and I bit my lip. 

“About that…” I started and he raised his brow.

“What?” He asked. 

“Um… I forgot it when we were rushing to leave…” I said and his eyes widened. 

“Ummm, okay, I can wait.” He said and I shook my head. 

“No you can't!” I said and he shook his head. 

“Yes I can Y/N.” He said. 

“No, you’re hungry, just drink some from me.” I said moving the hair from my neck. 

“No! Are you crazy? What if I kill you?” He said and I rolled my eyes. 

“KJ, you won’t, I trust you. Now drink you’re hungry.” I said moving closer to him. 

“No! I can wait till we get home.” He said and I narrowed my eyes at him. 

“KJ, I will not let you out of this trailer until you drink.” I said sitting on his lap. I sat him gulp and his fangs start to come out.

“No, no I can't!” He said. 

“Please baby, for me?” I asked with my best puppy dog eyes. 

“Fine.” He sighed and gently turned my head to the right angle. His fangs sunk into my skin and I felt the pain and pleasure. I bit my lip as a little whimper escaped my mouth. KJ held me close and he drank my blood. After a few minutes, he pulled away. I looked at him and my blood was on his mouth. 

“How was it?” I asked. 

“You taste really good babe.” He said and I giggled. 

“Well thank you.” I said and got off him. I wobbled a bit and almost fell, but KJ was quick to catch me. 

“Sorry, I must have taken too much…” He said, guilt clear in his voice. 

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll be fine.” I said and he sighed. He laid me on the couch and placed a blanket over me. 

“I’m gonna get you some food and juice okay?” He asked and I nodded.

“I’ll be right back.” He said and then left. I felt my eyes growing heavier and heavier, I couldn’t keep them open anymore. I closed them, a nap will do me good. 

I woke up and looked around, I wasn’t in KJ’s trailer. I was in our room, when did I get here? KJ walked in and his eyes widened when he saw me. 

“Y/N! You’re awake!” He said rushing over to me and hugging me. 

“When did we get home?” I asked. 

“You’ve been out for a couple of days, I came back and you were passed out. I drank way too much from you, I’m sorry Y/N/N.” He said with a few tears falling from his eyes. 

“Hye, relax, I’m fine.” I said giving him a kiss. 

“This is why I didn’t want to drink from you. I can’t control myself still.” He said and I gave him a small smile. 

“It’s fine KJ, you’ll learn.” I said and he shook his head. 

“I’m never doing that again.” He said and I sighed. 

“Fine… well can we eat? I’m starving.” I said and he laughed. 

“Sure, whatever you want.” He said and kissed the side of my head. 

The next few days I wasn’t feeling well. I got sick and I felt really weak. I couldn’t really walk well so KJ helped me with pretty much everything. After the fifth day, KJ wanted to take me to the hospital. I didn’t want to go because I just thought it was the flu or something, but KJ insisted. We went to the hospital and they ran some tests. KJ was sitting next to me holding my hand while we waited for the results. 

“Miss, Y/L/N, it appears you have some venom in your blood that is making you ill. Have you been in contact with a vampire recently?” He asked and KJ’s eyes widened.

“I did this to her?” He asked and the doctor looked at him. 

“You’re a vampire?” He asked and KJ nodded his head. 

“He’s still getting used to things, he was attacked and turned two months ago.” I said and the doctor nodded. 

“Well, you must not know how to control your venom usage yet because you injected too much into her.” He said and KJ hung his head in shame. 

“So, we just get the venom out and I’ll be okay right?” I asked and the doctor shook his head. 

“Unforchunetly the venom has been in your system for too long, you aren’t going to make it.” He said and KJ’s eyes watered. 

“There has to be something you can do!” KJ cried. 

“Not us, but you can.” He said and we looked at him confused. 

“You can turn her, just before she dies and she’ll become a vampire.” The doctor said and KJ’s eyes widened. 

“No! There has to be another way!” He said. 

“I’m sorry, but either she dies or you turn her.” The doctor said and walked out. 

“KJ, do it.” I said and he looked at me shocked.

“No! I don’t want to put you through this!” He said and I sighed. 

“I love you KJ and I’m not ready to leave you, please.” I begged with tears falling from my eyes. He looked at me with sad eyes. 

“Please KJ, it’s the only way.” I said and he sighed. 

“Okay…” He said. We sat there waiting for my heart rate to get slower. One it did KJ bit his wrist and put it over my mouth. I drank with what little strength I had left and then my eyes shut. 

I woke back up moments later to the heart monitor still flatlining. I looked around and everything was so loud. I covered my ears and closed my eyes tightly, why was the room so bright? 

“Y/N/N, babe, it’s okay.” I heard KJ say. 

"Just keep your eyes closed and I'll get you home okay?" He said and I nodded. KJ left the room for a few minutes and then came back. 

"Okay baby, we're going home." He said and he picked me up. He carried me outside to our car and I hissed when the sunlight seeped through the cracks of my eyelids. 

"There's a blanket in the car, just go under it when I put you in the car okay?" He said and I nodded. He put me in and then quickly up the blanket over my head. The darkness came over me and I felt better. 

"Keep your eyes closed till we get home, your eyes are still too sensitive." He said.

"Okay." I said and I felt the car start to move. After a twenty minutes drive the car stopped. KJ took me out with the blanket still over my head. We got inside and KJ brought me to our room. He laid me down and I went to take the blanket off but he stopped me. 

"Just a little longer, let me shut the curtains and turn the light off." He said and I nodded. KJ came back a minute later and pulled off the blanket. 

"Okay, you can open your eyes now." He said and I did. Everything was super dark and my eyes didn't hurt too much anymore. 

"It'll take a day or two to get used to everything, but I'll help you." He said and I smiled. 

"Thank you baby, you saved me." I said and he smiled. 

"I couldn't just let you die because of me." He said returning the smile.

"I love you." I said and he kissed me.

"I love you too." He said when we pulled apart.

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