#god it’s really all of them isnt it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

deoidesign · 22 days

Text

I've been told my comic feels like it was written by AI.

I suppose I'm not trying to be groundbreaking. I'm not interested in pioneering genres. I'm not writing for the purpose of literary analysis.

But written by AI...?

I'm already someone who has my humanity questioned. My identity erased. My existence disrespected. It could be worse. Anything could be worse.

But AI?

I spend weeks writing single scenes, toiling over the implications of single lines. I have goals. My writing has intent.

If you cared to read deeper, perhaps you'd see the themes. Maybe then you'd see the value. If you tried to analyze it maybe you'd see something there.

Maybe you'd see me.

Someone told me my comic seemed like it was written by AI.

And my humanity was denied one step further in that my voice was not seen in the work I've poured years of my life into.

#this is a comment that has bothered me for... a long time.#it really sat with me.#its insulting of course...#but i get insults all the time #thats not what bothered me.#there was something more to it #something more to how this hurt my feelings and why it lingered so long in my mind #and i think its because of this.#it removes me. it removes my humanity.#in a world where i already feel so invisible and invalidated #where i express myself. my love. through my work #to be told it seems like something a literal robot coild make #a conglomeration of marketable ideas #god. jts so insulting on a completely other level.#its straight up dehumanizing #so. watch the things you say seem like ai #when its actually made by an artist #especially if you know that it was made bh someone #they have a heart an theyre trying to show it to you #i know its not that deep or whatever.#but isnt it?#isnt the point of our art to connect to others? to love them? to spend time with them??#im being dramatic #but i also care #and sometimes a little extra drama is what gets my ideas across.#i would know #im a writer

166 notes · View notes

luck-of-the-drawings · 22 days

Text

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS #REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT #NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS #THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of #another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her #idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had #when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think #i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that #AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE #I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME #THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE #WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL #in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad #this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi #gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show #i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM

116 notes · View notes

mishapen-dear · 5 months

Text

OH. okay so normally i dont touch discourse with a 20 ft pole, but this has been niggling at my brain tonight and i finally realized why

the people who are mad at qbbh for the memory loss and “dodging consequences” dont understand that he doesnt want to dodge consequences. Like they cant know that, they werent focused on him when he was literally feeding himself to the soul vultures and planning his eventual imprisonment and also. The Many Many Many hints he made towards suicide/sacrifice/Just Fucking Dying.

ccbbh is a subtle roleplayer, he’s been building this shit up for two whole months- it was day FIVE of the eggs going missing that he resolved to do whatever it took (hurting his friends) to get the eggs back. It was day three that he followed in dapper’s footsteps and started feeding himself to the soul vultures (and gaining a Massive headwound beneath his hood in the process- you can only see it if you go on namemc and remove the layers). He’s got impaired judgement. Even the memory issues arent a new thing- i cant remember exactly when they started, but one of the first big moments i remmeber was september 30th where he spent an hour falling into a delusional frenzy searching his base for cameras that he forgot he asked aypierre to plant.

The super murder of purgatory and the memory loss afterwards probably all feels very sudden for people who havent been following his story, but as someone who has been- all of this has been true to character. The only cheap swings he’s made have been combat-based in purgatory, and even the motive for those was built up in rp.

People are calling for consequences, but he has alrwady been experiencing self-inflicted consequences for months. The blue on his usual outfit is blood. This recent memory loss isnt a restart to get away with the atrocities - it is yet another consequence of his egg-protecting complexes and the ways he punishes himself for failing them.

he is NOT a moral character. he’s a demon hiding in plain site. he has eaten people. he has killed people. he understands the cruelty of his actions, and the consequences of them for the loved ones of his victims. but it matters when that harm is being done to his loved ones. he’ll still do it, because he will do anything for the eggs, but it matters, and that means that he has already started the process of self-inflicting those much-demanded consequences

#anyone who isnt a qbbh makn please extend some sympathy for us. our guy is being misunderstood again #so if people seem twitchier than usual that probbaly plays a factor #but if it ever gets annoying be rest assured he is doing his very best to train us in media literacy #and also the block and filter buttons are your friends #and qbbh mains join me in the genuinely freeing revelation that they have just. strawmanned him yet again #i feel like youve gotta be able to understand a character to truly hate them #and no one (not even us oh my fucking god) really understand him #and thus the vitrol means nothing and i am free of all woes #anyway tho genuinely if you want to know more about this cube im willing to talk about him #i have Credentials #one of my posts was dono’d to the cc almost word for word and he called me a know it all #qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo #discourse #<- mentioned #an interestinf discussion could be had too about xyz character Deserving xyz thing #and really people in general Deserving xyz thing #but i think that is a wasp nest i dont know enough about to join swatting #i ngeed. to go to bed

171 notes · View notes

moonpaw · 9 months

Note

Fighting DEMONS rn trying not to get invested in one piece to figure out wtf you're posting about!!!!

come here cyber.... we have this thang

‎

#mp answers #i've been trying so hard not to be annoying to my bnha friends but if you will allow me to push this for this ask let me say 🙏#if you're afraid of the episode count for one piece the manga is a lot quicker read while being just as enjoyable because the art style is #an actual delight. its great its fantastic im absolutely in love with it #the series is soooo good and i know luffy can seem unappealing to people before they start but he's just SUCH a great character & continues #to be even now. the story is SO GOOD the characters are SO GOOD... theres so much lore and world building that its insane #if you read the manga we get 'cover stories' on what's going on with previous characters to see what theyre up to even though we moved on #from where we left them. a lot of these cover stories blend into the main story so well its just seamless #there's one where we get introduced to a character we dont see hundreds of episodes into the anime and they show up like; during the second #saga. the series is about traveling to other islands and every single arc has been tied to another in some way or form that shows up later #even if its sagas and sagas later- it still becomes relevant again!! it's a huge ongoing story and there isnt a single arc that feels like #it has no purpose (sans filler in the anime-but even then!! some filler arcs are really entertaining!)#it's emotional! its sad! its downright stupid and silly but GOD... you can feel the love that oda put into this series and his characters #and the emotions in the expressions and the messages the story gives off it just makes me UEUHGHHAHGHH!!!#it's all about the adventure and the romance of it all! its about the freedom it brings and bringing freedom to others!#its a series where treasure should be a focus given its pirates and the its a giant treasure hunt for the one piece and yet! and yet so man #of the characters treasures are things that are not coins and gems but people and promises and family and and #im going to EXPLODE i love one piece

197 notes · View notes

skitskatdacat63 · 1 month

Text

"Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily."

+ process(tw blood)

Also, look at him, bloody little guy 🥹

This drawing was inspired by several matador pics :D here and here:

^ I don't think I'll ever live up to the second one ah. There's several pics of that specific guy just soaked with blood, and I'm uh a bit obsessed with then ITS FUCKED UP I KNOW OKAY! But I've not drawn blood in a while so it was a bit difficult so I added less than I would want to I guess. Also I'm obsessed with how often they kneel in bullfighting?? Like okay who are you arching your back and spreading your legs for-

#ah not 100% sure abt this one but i think i still like it!!!#i was practicing matador poses during the wknd and im like yeah should prob paint one #and then it felt like all the energy left my body djfkkglg i was like ugh how do i paint again?????#mostly: just really wanted to draw him bloody #i love how every time i draw him in ferrari colors its just the most eye bleeding thing ever #my eyes get too used to it on my ipad's display and im like aw this isnt red enough :(#and then i transfer it to my phone and it feels like the red suddenly is hurting my eyes even worse djfkkglg #im glad the blood turned out well. i honestly think it was probably easier bcs the clothes are red already #but yes yes suffering ferrari nando. hes my comfort character atp 😭😭#perfect catie drawing: depressed ferrari fernando. blood. napoleon quote #anyways yeah lmk! i think it looks okay?? idk i think i just love the first 2 matador drawings i ever did #and its very hard to live up to them. but whatever. we move on #im glad i did a more complicated pose at least ?????#also god i was somewhat annoyed w his face and then i redrew his eye and it was like OH OKAY suddenly good okay #tw blood #<- i would put this drawing under the cut but like. my blog i do what i want and i want to draw blood #i used to draw bloody stuff a lot more but ah idk less opportunities now sjfkkglg so it was kinda nice #catie.art.#f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #matador au

61 notes · View notes

dragonskulls · 1 year

Note

How do you draw eyes? they look so good and very expressive.

that's really nice of you tysm ^-^ i dont really know how to explain my processes so i made a crude little overview of how i generally go about drawing eyes, from shape, angles, lines and color to giving it expression and exaggeration

this is what works for ME personally in MY own style, so feel free to incorporate (or not) this however you see fit into yours. Remember that references and practice are your friends forever and ever, but i hope this can be of help!

#asking #art tutorial #tutorial #ok not really tutorial but yknow #IF ANYTHING ISNT LEGIBLE OR YOURE CONFUSED PLEAAAASE DONT BE AFRAID TO ASK A MILLION TIMES OVER #WHAT A SENTENCE SAYS. I PROMISE I WONT GET MAD AT ALL I JUST HAVE SHIT HAND WRITING #so yeah! this is how i go about it... really like polygons #gives the shape more of a.. push? more lively you could say #also eyebrows. god eyebrows were SUCH a game changer when i started adding them to my drawings omg

309 notes · View notes

crowbird · 9 months

Text

I'm so tired of age gap fics please if i can suspend my disbelief about mushroom zombies I can suspend my disbelief about the reader's age not being equivalent to my own, please just give me two 50(+) year old bastards falling in love no more of this 15+ year age gap I swear to god someone is gonna make me start writing last of us fanfiction at this rate.

Anyways, I would like to request some aid from the last of us fandom in terms of fic recs if anyone knows any good reader insert or x reader fics wherein they and joel are around the same age? Pre or post outbreak, au, I don't care I'm starving please if anyone has any let me know.

EDIT: I did not think this was going to get any traction which in hindsight was kinda stupid of me but I really want to clarify something since I originally left it in the tags which I probably shouldn't have. THIS ISNT A HIT PEICE. I've been a fanfic writer for years now even if this blog isn't exactly a great example of my supposed stellar writing consistency. I mean no hate towards the people who like age gap or write it it just isn't my thing personally and I would like to read fics that explore other topics besides that when it comes to this fandom. Yes I understand the easy solution is to write my own and i would be a liar to say I wasn't but I'm new to this fandom and still consuming the actual content and I know my drafts aren't exactly great right now in part because of that. What I wanted to accomplish here wasn't just to complain a little but to reach out and ask if anyone could point me in the direction of non age gap fics in the mean time and they did so thank you very much!! I genuinely appreciate it. Write what you like but understand that I also reserve the right to read what I like and to ask for help in finding it because let's be honest tumblrs search and filter system is non existent and asking for help was my next best bet so uh yeah I'm gonna stop rambling now and refine this maybe when I'm more awake and can word things better probably.

#THIS ISNT HATE #THIS IS MY PERSONAL OPINION #I'm just really tired of looking for fanfic for certain characters usually played by Pedro pascal let's be real here #and then 99% of them are age gap #like cool people like that good for them all the respect #it just ain't for me #but it's literally all there is #like non age gap fics are the acception not the rule #when I say age gap I mean like reader is at least ten years younger then the character #yeah I know as long as everyone is consenting adults legally it's fine or whatever #it's the difference in life experience for me #I just want more fics where the reader was an adult before the world ended #I swear to god someone is gonna make me write that last of us x resident evil fic #the plot just combines the the two #Leon was in Spain when it happened #racoon city was once a thing #ironically umbrella didn't end the world #weird how mold and fungi are kinda similar I wonder if that's related— [gunshots]#joel miller x reader

160 notes · View notes

puppyeared · 17 days

Text

Ouhhhh friendship I love friendship……..

#I’m reading volumes 14-16 of the ouran manga OOUGHHH MY HEART #I love this weird little friend group so much its unreal #like u have this charming sweeps you off your feet prince but he’s actually a huge lovable idiot with a kind heart and his friends #who are all misfits that he reached out to and drew in because of his kindness and own weirdness like that shits TIGHT BRO #and the trauma part where he has some deep seated issues with love bc he thinks that itll break a family apart like with his mom #how his family isnt allowed to be together because his mom and dad fell in love and how he says he wants to build a big house #so that way one day everyone will get along as a family like. all he wants is not to lose everyone and the only way to do that is #by maintaining a certain order.. he both wants a complete family so bad and doesnt want anything to sour between anyone #so he assigns each of his friends a family role based on how he sees them and YEAH its mostly played for giggles and tamakis #already weird so its his way of showing theyre close to him but. god damn this boy has LAYERS #it also feels kinda meta towards how found family tends to get thrown around to assign characters as 'siblings' or family roles instead of #using it to describe characters who are close enough to be each others family. cuz tamakis doing that EXACT THING in a way tht #ties in with his character and i have to say its fascinating using that within the story itself and its completely plausible #theres a lot of things i can say about ouran that are good bad and questionable but. god i love it when characters are niceys to each other #i remember i really liked the mall episode bc kyoya and haruhi got to spend time together and their relationship isnt very close #but it was really nice to see their personalities bounce off each other. i think i also wouldve liked to see haruhi alone with kaoru #i also firmly believe all of the hosts are at least a little in love with haruhi and this can be anything like endearing romantic cuz like #who DOESNT love haruhi. kyoya i think would want to study her under a microscope like his fascination with her draws him in #but im fucking obsessed with whatever haruhi and tamaki have going on because YES hes obsessed with her YES he jumps at the chance to #put her in a cute costume but haruhi? she just fucking goes with it because she knows hes fun to be around even if hes a little wacky abt i #theyre all so. NNGGHHHH #ouran #ohshc #yapping

29 notes · View notes

hecksupremechips · 2 months

Text

To also go off of the point about cop!akihiko being annoying to me I gotta say that Akihiko as a character is very hit or miss with me because of how different adaptations of p3 will subtly alter his character. I felt like in portable with the femc route he comes off best, he’s a bit of a hothead with an obsession with fighting, but he’s overcompensating his strength so he doesn’t feel as weak and helpless as he’s been in many situations. He defines strength in a very literal sense, being physically strong and using that to protect others, but he’s lacking in emotional strength as a result. And in particular in this version I think he’s portrayed as a bit more goofy and sweet in a sense. He cares deeply for you as a friend and leader but he struggles with finding the words to describe how he feels. Hes kinda naive and gullible and has trouble noticing his surroundings. He has no clue what he’s doing but his heart is in the right place. I think he just comes off much more human and he has flaws, many many flaws, and that makes him all the more lovable

But then in other adaptations and spinoffs it’s like. They look at him through some hetero male bullshit filter and seem to view him as a lot more admirable and cool. Like in p3 dancing, theres literally an event where he’s talking with Junpei and Minato and they’re gushing about how perfect Akihiko is and how he doesn’t seem to have ANY flaws at all. And it becomes clear his inability to flirt with women just gets added as a way to make sure you, the Straight Male Player, don’t get insecure being next to such Perfection because at the end of the day, you’re still more charming and sexy than he will ever be because you’re better. It’s a “flaw” that’s only there to shield a sensitive male ego. And then in arena I mean, come on. He’s overly beefy and is a damn cop and travels the world and loves Protein™️ it’s his whole personality and he’s so clearly meant to be seen as hot but like, he’s just some shitty hetero male fantasy. Hes what the writers deem to be a Perfect Man that every guy wishes he could be, but don’t worry he’s still bad with women so you don’t gotta worry about him stealing your property- I mean, girlfriend!

And though I’ve not played reload and don’t really plan to anytime soon, judging from his social episodes they seem to have a similar problem. Akihiko comes off as a lot less approachable, like the year age gap is just too much of a barrier to get to know him properly. And he doesn’t have that dorky sweetness he has in portable, he’s just that perfect hetero male fantasy guy and don’t you fucking worry- he still has his protein powder with him

#persona #persona 3 #akihiko sanada #does this make sense like i feel like im going crazy cuz okay #akihiko isnt in my top 3 characters (shinji ken and fuuka lol) but hes teetering on the edge hes number 4!#i really loved him in portable i worked my ass off to get his social link i had him on my team the entire game #i found him really cute and endearing and hilarious but then like i played dancing #and er well i never got all his events cuz im bad at that game but i noticed that subtle difference #and then watching reload clips i felt it again i was like good god i hate this guy i wanna beat him up #which is so weird since hes one of my favorite characters so like what the hell is that #but i really think it is just this filter hes being presented with like when hes supposed to be a love interest #hes allowed to be more flawed and adorably pathetic and sensitive #like hes the one who wants to do the protecting but you end up protecting him you know?#so yeah this is what i mean when i say that if any straight person looks at akihiko sanada i will melt them with lasers #my mitsuru rant is a lot longer but its very similar just that ughh disgusting filter shes presented through I HATE IT I HATE IT SO MUCH #i think having kotone as the protagonist fixes most problems so i consider that the solution lol but i think Aki not getting a real social #link is a major disservice and creates that super annoying upperclassman divide that makes him unapproachable and idolized

27 notes · View notes

nandermoenthusiast · 8 months

Text

i dont think i will ever be over nandor tying guillermos cape with such care and focus. that moment its possibly my favourite from the finale NANDOR ACTS OF SERVICE GUY MAKES ME WANNA CLIMB A WALL and the way hes putting guillermo on equal ground now makes my heart grow 3 sizes

and to be honest i dont think they can go back to where they were before. for anyone whos worried. like yeah he told him “now clean up the body” after he reverted back to human but to me that was more like nandors brain going like. “i cooked now you clean”. he went through such a tremendous amount of work to help guillermo. he had the empathy to recognise the problem. he thought it through concocted a plan. he got the robes and the candles and he painted and hung those banners. he held a fakeass ceremony with all their friends and elders so it looked official. he then also comforted guillermo when he couldnt do it and staked derek himself without a second thought. so maybe its was more of a. i pulled you out of a very hairy situation. can you take care of the body now? (also it IS gonna be hard to let go of certain habits so maybe some comments like this are gonna slip out next season, but that is just because they are useless and in guillermos absence the house fucking imploded in one year lmao… maybe guillermo is gonna teach them how to take care of it themselves next season so they can split the workload and cute shenanigans will ensue)

i just dont think it was mean spirited on nandors part tbh. LAZLO even offered to help. i dont think that was just to have him in the next scene i dont think an unusual detail like that could be just for convenience. i do FULLY believe they are gonna all be on equal grounds next season. and thats gonna be so fucking delicious to me specifically

#to see a nandor and guillermo dynamic where nandor has freed himself from the inibitions of a master familiar dynamic? sign me up #he was so fucking warm and caring after he forgave him and idk if i can handle it GOD I LOVE IT #nandermo #what we do in the shadows #wwdits #wwdits spoilers #comment #im making a post out of some of my tags in one of my queued posts bc i #want to put this thought out in the world #i saw a lot of people going now that guillermos human everythings back to the status quo!!! and im like #no the fuck i hope not!! their relationship has consistently moved in a new direction each season #familiar. bodyguard. best man. best friend. now they went through allllll the trouble of showing them having an equals relationship #they made nandor utter the words he will be living in this house as an equal from now on #and next season everythings gonna revert back?? i surely hope not #there is also to be considered from nandors standpoint that now guillermo truly has no more reason to stay. he really isnt a #familiar anymore because he presumably doesnt want to be a vampire anymore (?) so he has to consider #if he wants guillermo to stick around. its gonna have to be out of the love he has for them. and nandor needs to give him an incentive #which would be equal grounds with the vampires even though he isnt one #and guillermo is probably gonna be in such an existential crisis mode that hes not even gonna notice all the cute things nandor is doing #for him now for a WHILE. until he does and thats gonna be delicious #anyway. why do i keep making excellent points in the tags this could have been a post

81 notes · View notes

spaciebabie · 19 days

Text

does any other demiromantic (or arosepc doesnt rlly matter) feel like. extremely awful when they experience romantic attraction or is that just me.

#spacie spoinks #bruh #like. while im experiencing it i wish so badly that i wasnt 😭#i feel disgusted. is this what romantic repulsion is???#cuz like ill be experiencing all the lovey dovey stuff yk #''ooohb i wanna kiss dem oooh what if we help hands'' romantic crap but its like. anxiety inducing #like it feels awful??? is this normally how it feels?? i dont like it.#it like. doesnt feel right or natural and im assuming its b/c i just like?? barely feel it ever?? and thats why???#strange as hell.#i recently felt romantic attraction 2 someone (it has been 2 or 3 years since i last felt it) and it came on really strong for like #a week and that was like the worst week of my life #i couldnt think abt anything else but them like it wasnt even like. fantasies or anything just like.#the concept of them. my brain would just be like ''hey remember this guy''#I LIKE COULDNT SLEEP #HOW DO YOU PPL ENJOY THIS????#me; clutching my head for ~a week: AUUUGH!! THE PERSON!!! THE PERSON!!!!!#im so serious this is how it feels w/springtrap. hes like a blight on my psyche #the feelings have faded mostly i think. i think im normal abt them again (thank god)#its so strange. i think a romantic relationship would be fun but then i start feeling the feelings and its. awful.#so horrid #also like. im considering that maybe the relationship i would like some day isnt romantic but a qpr #idk. ive never been in any kind of serious relationship (never wanted 2 and have never been approached for it)#sometjing 2 think abt i guess?#anybeans. i tire.#hope i never experience that again #ik that like in 2-3 years ill be like: ''man. idk what past spacie was talking abt. would be nice 2 feel romantic attraction again''#NO SPACIE IT WONT!!! REMEMBER!!!!!! REMEMBER WHAT YOU WENT THRU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

21 notes · View notes

lunarharp · 9 months

Text

hope whispers and i will follow, til you love me too

#witch hat tag #orufrey #i drew all this today but im still unsatisfied. this isnt what i meant to draw....i kept sitting on the floor for like 2 hours #doing nothing but listening to abba etc and thinking about orufrey deeply. today was really ummm..orufrey!#qifrey must have a big car in that au. but it's 'our car'. and when theyre together oru always drives.<3 get in girlies we're goin to tesco #*5 sets of feet running after him like ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^*#god i love them so much i could be sick. daily

55 notes · View notes

godsfavoritescientist · 11 months

Text

Biting the bars of my enclosure about autistic ford tonight. There's something about him using vocabulary and turns of phrase that seem "outdated" or "pretentious" that feels so painfully genuine to me. When people say he talks like that just to "try to sound smart" I wish I could explain what it's like to be so ostracized from your peers growing up that you spend all your time reading instead, to the point where you pick up your way of speaking from books instead of from people. And then what it's like for people to call you out for "talking weird" over and over again, not able to wrap their heads around why the fuck you would choose more archaic or technical or formal words than the simpler ones that surely come to everyone's minds first. What it's like to have to dedicate a sizable chunk of attention to filtering through every single word you say out loud in real time before you say it, to make absolutely sure that it isn't a word people will judge you for using or make fun of you for using, just so you'll have a chance of being taken seriously. Learning through trial and error how to filter out the words that other people don't think are normal or casual enough for the conversation, even though for you, the word choice that's "natural-sounding" enough for them is the third or fourth word you came up with when searching for the right way to phrase something in your head. I wish I could explain just how long it takes to say fucking anything after spending a lifetime doing that during every single conversation, and how repetitive and long-winded you end up being when you spend so long coming up with alternative ways of saying every little thing you ever think. And I wish people realized that, at the very least for autistic people and autistic-coded characters, speech that's seen as pretentious is really just the way they talk when they're not putting in the extra effort to filter through every word they say just so others will take the time to listen.