#hope i never experience that again

[spaciebabie]

does any other demiromantic (or arosepc doesnt rlly matter) feel like. extremely awful when they experience romantic attraction or is that just me.

#spacie spoinks #bruh #like. while im experiencing it i wish so badly that i wasnt 😭 #i feel disgusted. is this what romantic repulsion is??? #cuz like ill be experiencing all the lovey dovey stuff yk #''ooohb i wanna kiss dem oooh what if we help hands'' romantic crap but its like. anxiety inducing #like it feels awful??? is this normally how it feels?? i dont like it. #it like. doesnt feel right or natural and im assuming its b/c i just like?? barely feel it ever?? and thats why??? #strange as hell. #i recently felt romantic attraction 2 someone (it has been 2 or 3 years since i last felt it) and it came on really strong for like #a week and that was like the worst week of my life #i couldnt think abt anything else but them like it wasnt even like. fantasies or anything just like. #the concept of them. my brain would just be like ''hey remember this guy'' #I LIKE COULDNT SLEEP #HOW DO YOU PPL ENJOY THIS???? #me; clutching my head for ~a week: AUUUGH!! THE PERSON!!! THE PERSON!!!!! #im so serious this is how it feels w/springtrap. hes like a blight on my psyche #the feelings have faded mostly i think. i think im normal abt them again (thank god) #its so strange. i think a romantic relationship would be fun but then i start feeling the feelings and its. awful. #so horrid #also like. im considering that maybe the relationship i would like some day isnt romantic but a qpr #idk. ive never been in any kind of serious relationship (never wanted 2 and have never been approached for it) #sometjing 2 think abt i guess? #anybeans. i tire. #hope i never experience that again #ik that like in 2-3 years ill be like: ''man. idk what past spacie was talking abt. would be nice 2 feel romantic attraction again'' #NO SPACIE IT WONT!!! REMEMBER!!!!!! REMEMBER WHAT YOU WENT THRU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ispyspookymansion]

BOO!

oh sorry….come in…..hello…welcome to my halloween party ^_^ feel free to take a piece of candy and a goodie bag before you go okay? have a fun (and nostalgic) halloween season!!

#seems like many people related to this i hope some of yall click the og post now <3 #originally this post said i dont need therapy i need to be 8 years old at halloween again #kora.txt #gritting my teeth white knuckle gripping the edge of the table. Yeah No Its Fine. #the things i will never experience again haunt me… #8 is arbitrary. anything before like. 15. would work.

[lycheebatz]

Follow up to my "israel called a nuclear bomb to strike gaza" post...

Remember the ant-walking alligator people?

If Isreal strikes Gaza, Palestine with a nuclear bomb, then history will repeat itself.

We cannot let humans become ant walking alligators again.

We can not let Israel nuke Palistine.

Fuck Minister Netanyahu, fuck Isreal and fuck everyone supporting Isreal.

#free palestine #free gaza #strike for palestine #palestine #gaza #fuck isreal #i hope everyone who supports isreal never experiences happiness in their lives ever again. #they dont deserve happiness.

[tapakah0]

#you #... #you... #Congrats with surviving... I hope it wasn't too bad... #We had something similar last year #We live in a kind of a distant village #And our streets are connected to one heating system #And it was so cold last year that this station just broke #Me and my sister have been without water electricity and heat first day *giggle* It was funny to wear 2 complects of cloths and jacket #It was... like... -14 inside of home? *giggle* #On the second day we at least got electricity back and got a little heater (We were separated from parents so the have been calling 3 #times per day XDD) We closed all doors to not let the heat outside #Since we got sick and couldn't take a shower #We were able to go to school but we looked like shit XDD #Then we were lying next 2 days like potatoes in one room with a heater... it felt awful XDD #They couldn't fix the main heating system for almost 3 days #It was... funny.... never want to experience the same again and hope you will not too

[thepoisonroom]

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it #i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition #but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body #not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways #but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth #valuing and exploring and treasuring #i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible #but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body? #it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head #and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude #this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example #like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than #violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body #to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities #like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia #so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you #even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by #what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems #Casey Plett #she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her #this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger #i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial #she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies #that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era #it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it #i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience #said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip #personal nonsense

[skitskatdacat63]

Nando being silly in S2E2 of his doc 🥺

#well...i wrote tags for this and queued it and yet it didnt post at all and was back in my drafts w no tags #tumblr never ceases to amaze me! #i wrote tags at like 4 am so i have no memory #and i dont realtl wanna write them again so I hope this vid speaks for itself #tho i will say: #i guess i find it cute how soft spoken and polite and silly he is in all these #i think its funny to see a 'celebrity' experience the same awkwardness of covid times #like when hes just awkwardly standing there and staring as his bag gets disinfected #and like seeing him w service workers and he tries to be somewhat serious and then cant help but be silly #THE SINGING PART IS THE BEST OKAY. #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #we do a little bit of f1 #fernando(show) #fernando s2e2

[yungchaeng]

sleepover - hayley kiyoko with any member :)))

Sleepover (Twice: Sana)

genre: angsty, suggestive - word count: 493

Your mind has been hazy for a bit. Every last bit of your thoughts, concentration and desires consumed by Sana.

Sometimes you'd wonder how she didn't know how you felt for her. You often felt like it was written all over your face. If not the way you looked at her, then surely it had to be the way you shuddered whenever she'd trail her soft fingers up your arm...or the way you couldn't help but smile sheepishly when she kissed your cheek for hello or goodbye.

At times you'd be convinced that she knew just how much you adored her, but then she'd call you friend in that gentle voice of hers, and you'd start your cycle over.

Get over it, you'd try to convince yourself. It's better to have her as a friend, than not at all...

How unbearable it is to have someone so close, but so far away at the same time. Sana would hold you, and somehow it would be feel euphoric and tragic at the same time. Whenever she'd play with the rings on your fingers as she blushed and went on and on about some guy she liked, you couldn't truly figure out whether to laugh or cry.

You craved her close to you, but the closer she came the more alone you felt. The sleepover were the worst. For the life of you, you couldn't figure out whether it was hurt, or comfort that you felt when with her then.

There was no way to sleep peacefully next to her. Not with the way she plagued your dreams. Those were full of thoughts of her voice, hushed and whispering sweet nothings as she'd move closer to you. You would watch her as she approached and her soft lips locked with yours. In your wildest dreams, she'd take your hand to find the delicate skin of her tummy and she'd guide you down- all the way until her lips would part and the prettiest gasp escaped them, until she'd have to stifle moans of your name. Moans for you, and only you.

In your favourite dream of all, she'd look you in the eyes and tell you that she loved you - in the way you wanted to be loved by her. If only she'd love you even half as much as you did her, you'd be satisfied.

Although haunting, those were your favourite dreams. Dreams of her. Then in the morning, when the rays of sunlight would shine through your window, you would admire the beautiful person sleeping next to you, and smile. Whenever she'd subconsciously reach for you in her sleep, intertwining her fingers with yours and smiling slightly, you'd be reminded: to at least have, and be able to hold her was the one thing stopping reality from being a nightmare. You might never be able to love her the way you truly did, but at least you had her in your head.

#twice #sana #twice x reader #sana x reader #twice x fem reader #sana x fem reader #whoever picked this song #bless you #throwback to my 'in love with a straight girl moment' #i persevered and overcame #but damn #what an experience #never again #(i hope)

[undefeatablesin]

DARK THUNDER ⚡️: 6/6 PAGES

#sin scribbles #bloodborne #hunter oc #good hunter #hunter bloodborne #good hunter bloodborne #(HAPPY HALLOWEEN YALL I FINISHED THIS MINI COMIC LOL) #(again lmao not as polished as altar bc altar is enough of a time sink as is) #(but i hope you still enjoy this little glimpse into aloyshas story hhhhhhhh.....) #(also say hi to the new boys!!!!) #(tldr aloysha is not what she seems and the clergy knows it) #(her brother however likes to pretend that isnt the case despite being part of the clergy himself) #(whether thats to protect his sister or his own best interests is another story) #(church hunter rurik though sees right through him 👀) #(THIS WAS A FUN EXPERIMENT I NEVER DO INKING STUFF not since one of my first bb fanarts omg)

[mobius-m-mobius]

I cannot believe that season. truly just. there was not a single episode I didn't sit down to without a genuine conviction that *this* would be the episode where they spit all over everything I loved about the show. I braced constantly throughout the episodes as they kept setting themselves up for Very Stupid story choices only to pull the rug and go "HAHA surprise, idiot!!! We've given you exactly what you wanted <3". until the final episode which was NOT what I wanted and also exponentially better storytelling and character development than any of the ideal scenarios I'd constructed.

something deeply meta about it all. truly a chaos season for the chaos god, where the most chaotic, unexpected, transformative thing they can do is to be good.

Spent the day processing my love for this season only to have your message sum my thoughts and feelings up perfectly, thank you so very much for sending it 💖

Same as you, not for a second did I go in truly expecting anything from s2. Owen and Mobius have my heart, always will, so primarily the show was a vehicle to provide whatever crumbs of his scenes and chemistry with Tom I could get and with the start of every episode I braced for the moment that would get ruined in some way, only to be continually hit with everything I've ever wanted in a show or pairing right up until the finale. Which, while not what I would've chosen, was beautifully crafted and an almost Shakespearean tragic romance that will haunt me for the rest of my days and is still infinitely better than the nightmare scenarios I'd been floating around in my mind so at least there's that and it's impossible not to be thankful for eps 1-5 for giving content anyone could dream of and more 😅

Besides the obvious ending, I'm mostly crushed our Loki and Mobius didn't get a proper goodbye but honestly believe Loki decided to seek out s1 Mobius instead knowing s2 Mobius loved him too much to ever let his sacrifice happen and it would've been too much to bear, so having made his mind up already he at least tried to visit a version most likely to validate his choice. Just wish the Mobius now waiting until the end of time had at least a similar opportunity, but I'm just thankful he didn't lose his memories and could make his own decision that his faith in Loki is what's carried him before and will continue to do so now.

The flip of their characterization from order or chaos is exactly what has me convinced Lokius will reunite because how can they not with such an open ended future?? Even in separation they revolve around each other and they're the only ones left wanting. Mobius and his life are in ruins with nothing but the passage of time and possibility of some spent with Loki ahead while Loki's surely going to find a way to meet halfway when the choice of order has not only made him potentially the most powerful being in existence but one who spends eternity looking at the only person who ever saw him back.

#cutting this short because it's already longer than expected and i'm about to cry again even though i've done so like a dozen times today 😅 #but truly s2 has been the most incredible fun uplifting heartbreaking experience and i'm so thankful to have shared it with you all #have a feeling nothing's going to beat it for me as well which is kind of wild to wrap my mind around?? #never gonna be another character like mobius or one who means more to me plus owen is it for me now #and if i could craft a perfect episode of anything start to finish it would be s02e01 #the banter their chemistry the touching the sacrifice the perfect balance of plot and humor it's pure love and comfort #what a ride #and thank you again for the loveliest ask!! love hearing what everyone thought of the season and where things can go from here #hope you're having an amazing weekend 💖 #ask #loki spoilers

[sealrock]

rotten apples are common in my family tree.

#mypost. #ffxiv gpose #ffxiv screenshots #ffxiv oc #🍃 #🍂 #🥀 #💐 #🌿 #🌱 #the evolution of paris wormwood: a study #i wanted to experiment with this don't mind me #click the images for better quality. things are intentionally off-centered to make it more authentic. to me #it's hard to tell in the first pic but that's baby!paris hector is holding. why is the baby model so reflective with light sources #each picture depicts paris throughout the expacs btw #i HATE magic border i hope i never use it again tbh #the psd i used made these pictures look nice tho. kinda grainy and photo-like #these are paris' thoughts and their interpretations of andromache and hector #i have to explore the trio's dynamic more because oml it's juicy

[vlasdygoth]

the procession of the attendants of crusade

#friends at the table #palisade #palisade spoilers #id in alt text #thinking abt them all week i hope we see them again #nightmare people.... what can you do.... #im exhausted by this . i didnt like my original thing and i decided this like halfway through coloring it was rough #ive been experimenting with my process its been wild #not sure if i like it but yknow this is fun. never drawn a crowd before

[sevensoulmates]

i wonder if people would be okay with eddie being bisexual. shannon as the only woman he fell in love with and buck as the only man eddie fell in love with. bisexual people also suffer from catholic guilt (i'm bi, latina and my family is catholic), but i don't think 9-1-1 would give us bi4bi romance. i just hope that, if eddie is bi, fans don't get mad and say things like 'it doesn't make sense'

Oh goodness, now we're getting into some iffy territory here. So, WARNING, if you follow my blog, you may already know that I personally headcanon Eddie as a repressed gay man, and not bisexual. And I have very specific reasons for that. HOWEVER, if the show DID want to go with Eddie also being bisexual, I would 100% accept that, because you're right bisexual people 100% also experience catholic guilt and comphet as well. All of that could definitely fit into the bisexual experience too. It would also make sense to the story...to a certain degree. So here's my warning again, I'm going to dive into my headcanon here, so be warned this is just MY opinion and is not indicative of all queer experiences real, fictional or otherwise.

Here's my reasons why I feel the story aligns closer to repressed gay than bisexual for Eddie. I simply don't believe that Eddie really ever was in love with Shannon. Loved her as his best friend, yes. Deeply loved her as the mother of his child? Yes. Loved her as a person? Yes. In deep romantic love with her? No. Nothing I've seen from their relationship, not the sex, not their "sweet" moments, or the vulnerable moments, nothing has ever made me ever believe they were in love love. I totally realize that that's my personal opinion and other people see it differently, I understand that, and I respect other people's personal opinions on the matter. This is not a knock against Shannon as a character, but just my individual feelings on their relationship. This was my opinion back when season 3 was still airing and I saw the show for the first time, and it's still my opinion now.

However, back in season 3/4 I actually still believed Eddie could be bi, for sure. And I would've been absolutely THRILLED with a bi4bi story from Buddie.

After all, just because Eddie wasn't in love with Shannon didn't mean he couldn't fall in love with another woman (or man), right? But then came Ana Flores....and then Vanessa...and then came Marisol....and the pattern kept going and I simply COULD NOT justify any of his behavior as actually really being attracted to/wanting/loving ANY of these women.

I understand that plenty of heterosexual and bisexual men also have this kind of avoidant-attachment relationship style, and that it could also stem from trauma, the way he grew up, patriarchy, etc, but the way he FORCES himself to be in a relationship with these women. The way he NEVER allows a genuine bond with a woman to just grow naturally and always has to force it to start, and then desperately cut it off when he's finally reached his limit, truly feels like he's torturing himself. And I'm so sorry, but I feel like if you were a person who genuinely wanted to be with a woman or a man, or anyone, in any capacity, you would not be torturing yourself over being with them.

Especially when I look at him in comparison to Buck, a canon bisexual man. I never once doubted that Buck actually loved Abby. I never once doubted that Buck was actually trying in his relationships with Ali, Taylor, and Natalia. When he was interested in these women it didn't feel forced. Unhealthy? Sure. Not the right fit for him? Absolutely. But forced? Like he was only doing it because he thought he had to? Never. Sure, maybe Buck held on longer than he should've because he didn't want to lose them, but that's because he still wanted their love even if it wasn't healthy for him.

I don't see any of that with Eddie. Shannon, and Eddie's relationship with her, has always felt like a crutch for Eddie, like an excuse, before she came back, when she was present, and long LONG after she died. So the argument that "well Ana and Marisol just aren't Shannon" will never work for me.

I also think Eddie being demisexual would be a better fit narratively at this point than bisexual as well. But then again, there's overlap and it's all very subjective and yeah--just a lot of queer theory to get into that I'm not an expert on, so I'm just gonna reiterate again. This is just my opinion.

If the show really wanted Eddie to be bisexual, and stated it as such, I would be fine with it, and I would accept it graciously and happily. But I do honestly feel like it wouldn't really fit well into the story they've been telling. At this point in time, with everything that we know, and everything we've seen, the only thing that I believe truly fits with the narrative is that Eddie's a repressed gay man and/or demisexual.

But if real-life bisexual people see themselves in Eddie, that will ALWAYS be valid, regardless of what the show says in regards to his sexuality. Fuck, they'll probably just leave him unlabeled regardless, in which case, any and all headcanons are valid.

This is a nuanced topic, and I do admit that IN REAL LIFE (remember I'm just discussing FICTIONAL characters here based purely on what a NARRATIVE has shown us which is all we can truly take as fact) someone in Eddie's position could for sure be bisexual and have this exact same experience.

I just think in my personal subjective opinion that with all we've seen in canon thus far, it would feel most organic to the story (and doesn't make Eddie look like a fucking asshole who chooses not to care at all about the women he's dating) if he realized he was a repressed gay man.

#911 abc #eddie diaz #god I hope this doesn't start discourse #anon you're valid for wanting a character who aligns with your experience so I'll never admonish you or anyone else for that #again this is my opinion based on my own subjective life experience #please no one come for me #this is why I tend to use the term queer in relation to eddie #or even queer leaning towards men #or hell maybe even bisexual leaning towards men idk #sexuality is a spectrum for a reason so even what I'm saying could be disproven by someone else's experience and knowledge

[artekai]

HZD was such a magical experience. It was a game about the apocalypse, but it still left me feeling hopeful by the end, twisting the despair it made me feel over its past into something like appreciation for everything we still have. It was a game about life and death, about nature and both its vulnerability and its resilience, about how technology can be used for either good or bad, about how it could destroy us but also save us depending on how we use it. It was a game about GAIA and Elisabet's love for the world (and each other), it was about a lonely queer girl's personal quest to find her mother that turned into a quest to save her homeworld, it was the story of an outcast who became the chosen one she never wanted to be, who went from carrying the weight of negative expectations to the weight of positive ones on her shoulders, it was about showcasing both the best and the worst of humanity, while still reassuring us that the effort we put into this world is worth it, even against impossible odds, because this is a world worth fighting for, and there might always be bad but there will also always be good, and life on Earth is worth protecting.

It was so deeply beautiful and moving and at the end of the day it was just a game. I wish I could play it for the first time again

#this hope and sappiness is so uncharacteristic of me... i guess this game really does bring out things i didn't know i had in me huh. #of course i never thought hzd was perfect but.... it had such a strong emotional core that i really miss #yes i listened to sad machine and started crying about gaia again. how do you know? #because i only get this emotional about hzd when i listen to sad machine? ah yes of course. #i mean this is THE song that really sends me back and puts me in the mindset i was in when i was finishing the game for the first time.... #maybe i should just replay hzd and pretend i don't know anything about it. i could use the pick-me-up #but i don't WANNA replay it i just wanna relive that first experience :( i miss her i just want her back #i'm just gonna keep crying for now brb #ramble #hzd

[esparafuso]

I'll be by the Batphone, if you need to get a hold.

-

To the best friend I could ever wish for, thank you for obsessing over this ridiculous man and our beloved Monkeys with me again @sorethpid (Please don't repost my art!)

#HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYY #I'm not late but I'm late I'm sorry #Also sorry for worrying so fucking much abt this drawing like goddamn #but I do hope you enjoy how it came out #drawing the monkeys again after all these years is like coming back home after a long trip #and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you #cheers to us finally having the experience of attending to one of their gigs and seeing how amazing they are #I'll never forget that day and I'm so glad we did it together #NOW ANOTHER #AND I HOPE YOU HAVE THE BEST DAY #Alex Turner #Arctic Monkeys #TBHC #tranquility base hotel and casino #my drawings #gabifalcaoart

[half-lightl]

I hope Louis truly knows his voice is the thing that ties it all together and makes fift such an special body of work

#lyrics are good production is great instrumentals are terrific #but his voice is what makes it such a magical experience #imagine someone else singing lucky again... meh #or the bridge in hoth #or the chorus in angels fly #or literally anything else #it's him!!! that's the source for the magic and my obsession with the whole thing #i hope he never has to doubt himself and his habilities

[geooooooorge]

i am now kraft hater first, human second

#i hope kraft never experiences happiness again and i hope austria as a country gets fucked #fuck off #forced a competition just so they could let their pathetic golden boy win #i know it aint even krafts fault but hes now my enemy no1