#god DAMN this picrew looks SO GOOD

[organised-disaster]

Made some Snowbird things using this picrew

#snowbird #picrew #elena illustration #god DAMN this picrew looks SO GOOD #love it #rumi erudite #sera kaishurr #thats actually super accurate to how they look as well #aside from rumi's cheek scar being just one line and sera's scars being bigger #and seras eyes are the wrong colour but theyre a very specific colour and the normal brown wasnt as close #i thought this would be fun and i was right #my poor poor tormented girlies <- person tormenting the girlies #i want to draw them but my art sucks so picrews it is #its you #despite everything #its still you

[gsstories]

The Reincarnations

Name: Porphyra ‘Emery’ De’b la Rosa God of the Moon and Night Caretaker: Father Moon Gender: Gender Apathetic Nicknames: Lil Rose, Mery, Phyra, Fae Boy, Night owl, Stone Face. Age: 15 Status: Safe

Personality: Emery is a quiet individual, pretty eerie and often sneaks up on people by accident. They stay up at night since it’s the most calm for them. Spends their time learning magic and of the past incarnations of them and their brethren. They are the youngest of the three Princely Gods but have the biggest horns out of the three. (They are supposed to be more purple but the Picrew barely had purple :,)) As you can see, they are more fae like looking out of the others. They have very good sense of hearing and can hear things that are pretty far away. They sometimes use an intangibility spell as to walk past people who take too damn long. Will snap at someone if they dare joke about their missing brother. Very close with Father Moon.

Current worries: Fears for their older brother’s safety after he went missing.

Name: Josiah of the Riverside God of the Sun and Day Caretaker: Father Sun Gender: Male Nicknames: Snowball, softie, simp, angel. Age: 16 Status: Safe Personality: Josiah is the middle child of the Princely Gods, more extroverted than his two siblings but is still quite the shy one. Loves looking his best and making sure his siblings look good as well. Loves jewelry and wears a ton of it, got his siblings into as well. Has a bit of a friendly rivalry with Emery (cause sun and moon, day and night and all-). Is seen mostly during the day helping out around the kingdom, playing with the kids, talking to those who are lonely, basically being the kingdom’s resident bestie. He became closed off when his older sibling disappeared without a trace. Is a hopeless romantic and is always eager to hear the love stories of the elderly of the kingdom. A bit jealous of how his elder sibling often gets letters from potential suitors and admirers. Loves anything that is lemon related. Can someone balls of light and manipulate fire, plus is fire resistant. Will deflate when his older brother’s good name is being tarnished before getting enraged at the person. Very close with Father Sun. Current worries: Fears for his older sibling’s safety after he went missing.

Name: Daniel or Daisy Liu Pereira God of the Cosmos and the Unknown Caretaker: Father Eclipse Gender: Gender-fluid Nicknames: Golden child, Pretty boy, The elder one, the Sage. Age: 18 Status: Missing Personality: Sweet and shy, Daniel is the eldest of the Princely Gods. Is the most calm of the bunch and keeps his siblings in check whenever they go overboard with stuff. Smart, agile and gifted, he learned to use his abilities rather quickly. Loves mango flavored anything. Is almost as fashionable as Josiah and is also a hopeless romantic. Doesn’t really like being bombarded with love letters though. His third eye is able to see into different places of the Earth if he concentrates hard enough. A bit too trusting for his own good. Adores his younger siblings. Loves going out into the forest to find trinkets, cool rocks and flowers, usually keeps them in a magic vase so the flowers don’t wilt. He likes to sew and has made a few outfits for himself and his siblings. Finds mythical animals amazing, even those who don’t seem that interesting. Sometimes falls asleep when doing his studies and has to be brought back to his room as to have a good night’s rest, mostly getting there by Emery. Is close to Father Eclipse. Current worries: ???

Facts about Princely Gods:

They all have very enchanting voices that can LITERALLY enchant people if the three all sing together.

Their blood is gold.

Even though they are gods, they can still die, they will just be reincarnated. They have to be close to each other when they die though.

Almost all incarnations look similar: Sun incarnations light hair and eyes, Moon incarnations have dark hair and eyes and Cosmo incarnations are the exception, they can look like anything lol.

They do not have memories of their past incarnations so Sun, Moon and Eclipse are to teach them about so.

The Goddesses are always watching

And if you wish to know more… “What…?” (Speak with Father Moon) ”Oh, hello. Is there something you need?” (Speak with Father Sun) “Speak.” (Speak with Father Eclipse) You can ask the Celestial Fathers anything you want! You can add your own characters if you so wish, I can try incorporating them into the main story!

#oc #au #dca au #dcau #au stuff #AU story #god au #Celestial Fathers AU #godhood #reincarnation #fantasy #fantasy au

[rosecreates]

I finally got around to sketching Nim a bit. I was worried I'd fail to create a satisfactory design that takes both the manhwa lady that served as my first visualization of how she may look, and the few Picrews I've made of her, and combined them some unique aspects to spawn a good design. Well I seem to have had nothing to worry about because FUCK she's absolutely gorgeous just from these rough sketches hot damn. I successfully captured the ethereal High Elf vibe I was going for to contrast the fact she's my Durge. Though the lil fangs I gave her gives a small hint towards her true nature.

Said fangs are justified through my personal headcanon of Nim being purely made of and by Bhaal meaning that Bhaal personally sculpted her. And its why she looks so perfect, he made her look like that. She's MODELED after a High Elf because Bhaal decided why not. And the fangs are also something Bhaal gave her because...why not. Although he perhaps somewhat made her look like this because he knew she would spend much time raised in normal society so he made her look this way partially because no one would thus suspect her of being the literal daughter of the God of Murder. But his whims still played a part in it certainly.

Either way she's fucking beautiful I love her so much. Though some things may be changed when I get around to making a full art of her.

#{art} #{oc art} #{rough sketch} #{oc: nimue} #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 oc #baldur's gate 3 #the dark urge #durge #bg3 oc #bg3 art #bg3 durge #bg3 the dark urge #durge bg3 #dark urge #bg3 dark urge

[idontunderstandwhydoyouneedmyurl]

I posted 15,147 times in 2022

That's 5,740 more posts than 2021!

57 posts created (0%)

15,090 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@missy-mistress

@thevoidwatches

@mommymayi-iwillanyway

@bitchyeahmagnets

@sheshatefulandsoami

I tagged 2,143 of my posts in 2022

#i have an excellent sense of dramatic queueing. and good hair. - 523 posts

#da - 175 posts

#critrole - 147 posts

#gideon the ninth - 119 posts

#one piece - 111 posts

#critrole spoilers - 74 posts

#goncharov - 72 posts

#my text - 56 posts

#exu calamity - 55 posts

#ofmd - 48 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#a damn shame this doesnt even have the 'british imperialism to us imperialism to 9/11 to mcr to twilight' branch of lore thk

I sent 1 gift in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Of all the days to wake up with a headache. It had to be the day of the Snip

7 notes - Posted September 19, 2022

#4

And very abruptly I feel like Xerxus is getting played HARD 😬

8 notes - Posted June 3, 2022

#3

I have slept for most of the day now and the saline they gave me is making me have to pee 5000 times but the Snip is done and now I never have to worry about pregnancy ever again!!! 💜💜💜

17 notes - Posted September 19, 2022

#2

"I don't look the same to everybody...they used to say i was the most beautiful. Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So now I look like whatever is the most beautiful face mortals have ever seen" Brennan quit making me cry over a betrayer god

22 notes - Posted June 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Got tagged by @sheshatefulandsoami for this prompt: combining this picrew and this uquiz!

Yeah I can see that LMAO. This picrew didn't have the best hair options IMO so I did my best to represent my super grown out roots and faded bleached ends

Im tagging @glitterandmoondustofficial @tridentariism @condemned-titan @mommymayi-iwillanyway and anybody else who sees this and wants to do it!

22 notes - Posted October 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#my text

[erythristicbones]

alright new blorbo musing time (picrew used)

This is Liona Eve! (she/her)

A Phoenix disguised as a human, who, despite being over 200 years old, still dresses like a 12 year old. Someone pls tell her there's more things in life than overalls. Lowkey into cottagecore aesthetic. Dyes her hair blue specifically bc you don't expect fire magic to come from the blue-coded character. Cannot focus worth a damn but she sure is good at bluffing. Is actually the nerd out of the two of them

This is Tanith Fox! (primarily they/them, sometimes she/her)

So smart it's stupid. A Siren who's wings are specifically based on Snowy Egrets, eyes look like cuttlefish eyes. You expect that they're just a nerd who doesn't know how to fight, but if you upset them you better fuckin run. Technically scarier than Liona, even though Liona's essentially a God in my lore. Is actually the fighter of the two of them

no i don't have a plot figured out for the two of them yet. yes i adore them immensely already

#os: handle with care (fragile) #oc: liona eve #oc: tanith fox #i'll figure the plot out. i got some vibes in my head for it #and im gonna draw em tomorrow im just tired rn #also i know sirens in my lore are only supposed to have sparrow species for their wings #but tanith gets to be the special exception :3 #liona's phoenix form will probably resemble a feathered raptor like my usual phoenixes

[baggythebag]

nethervillage mess chap 1

hi hi hi this is baggy and this is my first fic here :3 hope you enjoy it&lt;;33

warnings: cursing,violence,death

3rd perso POV:

she woke up from her 34min sleep that's all she get for a couple of days sadly,but she doesn't mind since it make her more awake and ready for a fight,just in case, she forced her legs to move and get out of bed she went to the dirty bathroom the old owners didnt bother to take care of it one bit 'but who is she to blame them' though to her self .looking at her self in the mirror, sad,broken,tired ,and lonley thats what you will see on her face. ''Farah T.M. '' thats the young women's name , but people call them the angry shadow ….she had been hiding in this old building since the enemy is looking for her, and got stuck for 4 years in this disgusting place ,her11 years old self didnt find another home,but she would rather be here than under his control and none stopping abuse.

If you didnt know-which U DONT-this woman had been an agent for this man..lets call him Mr.S…., where she killed , poisoned,and kidnapped targets at the age of 9.we know it seem impossible but they had a power that made them seem like a strong human ,she did her job with cold eyes ,my life wasn't good before either: abusive father and a dump but kind mother wasn't the best ship that is ,so i ran,and i was forced to the join the KNE(KidNightEater)and today she'll try and escape this hell of a place she had to put a plan. this city known as nethervillage or the zombie land , is the most least safe place it's almost on an apocalypse, and its -Ohio like- state is going down with the lead of S. she stepped out the window with a backpack ready to jump out ,she gave a little confidence to her self , saying:'' the second i take a step out my life will take a new page a new beginning,a new-'' .gun shots.

Unknown POV:

'' target Farah #367 down ''she talked into the mic and turned my back and i calmly walked away from the body she was me , that Farah was me..in another universe of course! . ''I want a smoothie''Farah talked to herself'' I need to get the fuck out of here first tho-''

3rd person POV(againn)

with that being said she heard a growling noise behind her , she turned to her back and there it was a zombie running full speed at her, the strong women panicked and ran as fast as possible DONT GET PAID ENOUGH FOR THIS!'' she shouts while running but quickly corrected herself ''NO WAIT, THEY DO-'' .after the long run our hero ran out of ideas so she grabbed her gun ''I forgot I had this thing on me, damn'' she stopped and kneed down, pointing her bloody gun at the hungry zombie's eyes, shooting them ''enjoy being a blind little girl, or boy, or person don't care''. she took her cigarette out burning the tip of it and took a breath, she had to relax somehow, this was too tiring for her ''god that was awful, im late again'' .shadow arrived at the KNA base and put her clown costume on '' this clown wig is itchy can i get another'' asked the 15 years old girl hoping for something more comfortable, but the staff just ignored her like she was a crazy person talking to herself, Farah -angry and pissed- walked through the teleporting door they used to do their missions this time she had to do the ultimate task kidnap her old self they name them the o.children Farah exited the door and looked around carefully to not draw attention to herself, but she failed by stepping on a broken bottle of booze ''h-hmm…'' the bed twitched announcing that she woke that person.

welp this is the end for now :3 but i'll post chap 2 soon

SEE Y'ALL &lt;;33 btw this is a little image of what Farah look like hehe

made with picrew

#story #post #ocstory #nethervillage #nethervillagemess #mystory #originalstory #Farah T.M. #farah #gore #violence #death #killing #fanfic #original character

[tiney-tadpole]

I just finished adding witch's hats to the picrew, and hot damn did I fucking kill it??

#they all look so damn good #???? #like past me how you doing with that gods damned line art #picrew things

[strosmkai-rum]

writing resources masterlist.

i have to admit. my first reason for doing this was to spite my brain because it wouldn’t write. so, instead, i made this. 

so here. 160+ links. gathered from a million questionable google searches, and some more crawling through mobile chrome tabs for 11 hours. anyways, enjoy!

where to write!

some popular platforms:

google docs is my choice for writing. it’s free, auto saves, you can access your stuff on mobile, pc, tablet, etc., and great for multi person collabs + link sharing. but, you need internet to use it, and for big documents (upwards of 55k words) it takes a while to load on pc, and editing on mobile is damn near impossible. 

scrivener is great too, and has the binder, which is great for organizing stuff. however, the mac version is way, way ahead of the pc in terms of updated versions. i mean, the pc version is still useable. and, it’s pretty expensive at $45 usd. 

microsoft word is really popular, and used pretty much everywhere. there’s templates and you can save documents in different formats, and compatible with other microsoft office programs too. it’s also a bit complicated at the start, but tbh most software is gonna be like that. sort of in the same boat as scrivener, as in, it costs money. usually a subscription, but if you decide to buy it flat out, it’s even more pricy, but def worth it imo. 

other writing platforms:

zenwriter 3 for windows and mac - $17.50 usd

focuswriter - free

libreoffice - free

credit to @scribeofred for help with this. she has an amazing writing blog that’s super helpful, so definitely check it out! and she’s a professional editor, so it’s coming from someone who knows what they’re doing. 

writing by hand is great too. some people can focus better that way, or, if you have a drawing tablet, you can write get the feeling of writing, and have it digitally too. 

of course, you could just type into your notes app, or ao3, or a tumblr draft post, but let’s not-

focusing!

spotify, youtube premium, and tidal are all great for listening to music. all of them, except for the free version of spotify, have a subscription. 

but maybe music isn’t your thing! here’s some more stuff: 

rainforme is a rain/thunder player with adjustable volume

coffitivity for café ambience

ambient mixer has a ton of different ambience, and even lets you create your own.

noisli has playlists for different situations and has a built in timer and editor.

asoftmurmur lets you make your own mixes with their own, generally nature-focused sounds. 

tabletopaudio with a focus on fantasy/noir ambience

mynoise has a lot of variety in sounds, including a...black hole

forest is an app/extension that grows a forest, for however long you manage to stay off of blacklisted sites, and dies when you revisit them. good for studying or a distraction-free writing experience (if you’ve got the restraint for it), but if you need resources on hand to write, this might not be good for you. 

moodboards!

wanna make a moodboard? lit! here’s some ways to get your images. 

unsplash (my journalism teacher, out of all the people recommended it to us. regardless, it’s a great way to source copyright free and not-stolen images.)

canva is much the same with no copyright issues, and actually lets you design the board on the site. 

adobe spark is also good and free.

now. pinterest. don’t get me wrong, it’s great for finding images. but it’s full of stolen images and all. so, maybe don’t source your stuff from there. 

character development!

behind the name name generator for different ethnicities, includes other character info like physical stats, language, age, blood type, cause of death, etc.

16personalities personality test

character flaws

how to create a character profile + worksheet below

big-ass character sheet (that’s the name) for making a wildly detailed overview of your character.

the most epic character chart ever (again, the name), a 12 page chart for your character.

character archetypes

character questionnaire

a super in-depth questionnaire for all stages of your character’s life

character development

creating a look for your character!

so maybe you’re not great at drawing. that’s okay! 

first off, there’s a ton of amazing, talented artists here, that you can commission to get a picture of your character done. i’d definitely point you towards them first, because you help support them, and you also get some gorgeous art too!

but if you don’t have the funds for that right now, here’s some generators, to have one regardless.

picrew’s really popular, so here’s some generators i found, with social media linked for credit:

sky: children of light character maker (i didn’t see any social media, just a link to the game’s terms of service) aka the one i use in my tumblr prof pic

among us character creator (@NetherHeartz on twitter)

icon maker (@lullindo on twitter/instagram)

another icon maker (tumblr)

character maker (tumblr, twitter, instagram)

girl maker (tumblr)

fantasy girl maker (twitter)

aesthetic girl maker (@rileydixondesign on instagram)

boy maker (@hellomadjackass on twitter/instagram)

another boy maker (tumblr, @GigiliJiggly on twitter, @gigili_jiggly on instagram)

western boys (@mosssygator on twitter)

and toyhou.se is great for storing your character.

prompt generators!

a list of different generators depending on what you need

pretty much the same as above

pretty much the same as above again

same again-

127 prompts if you’re writing about yourself

science fiction plot generator

random generators

map making!

cartographer’s guild is a website dedicated to map making, so a TON of resources on geography and landscape and whatnot.

inkarnate is for making your own fantasy maps, they have a free and a pro version but the free one is def enough to get going!

worldanvil is awesome for worldbuilding in general. 

nat geo has an awesome interactive world map, with options to see a ton more info like population density, animal populations, language diversity, and just a lot of stuff in general for irl maps. 

mapchart is great for irl custom maps. 

this one is also good, a bit laggy and auto-generates a map, but def useable. here’s a how-to for it. 

geoguesser lets you pick somewhere on the world map, and it’ll show you that location on google maps. 

and of course, there’s the classic ‘spill uncooked rice/macaroni on paper, trace the outline, and go from there’ technique. 

medication/wounds!

drug index to find specific medication and side effects

medicine name generator to make your own!

how drugs are named!

writing realistic injuries

writing realistic injuries 2

wound term definitions

wound documentation

interactive 3d human body with viewable layers

broken bones

bruise colors

entrance + exit wounds

gunshot injuries

stab wounds 

blood clotting and bleeding disorders

blood clotting and bleeding disorders 2 electric boogaloo

general info on bleeding to death

deathreference aka the encyclopedia of death and dying, alphabetized

how to write gore and examples

crime writing!

poisons

the human body after death

body changes after death

corpse decomposition

killing someone (not as easy as it seems)

three essays on political corruption

criminal law

usa state laws

an fairly simple overview of uk law

legal system in the uk

more guides to uk law

used + abused drugs

a-z list of illicit substances

paper on drug use, trade, and prices

64-page long paper on economic and social consequences of drug abuse + trafficking

70 page crime scene checklist

illustrated guide on kitchen knives

history of combat knives

firearms

more on types of guns

college of policing published research

forensic document examination + downloadable as pdfs (check the sidebars for many more topics)

more in-depth guide of forensic document examination and forgeries

more forensic science topics

crime scene investigation/forensics articles

serial murder

havocscope for black market/underground stuff, and more pages on corruption and organized crime

general overview of political corruption

homicide investigation procedures

psychology of famous criminals

faqs about human trafficking

fingerprints and black powder

pathology guides

understanding injuries

analyzing bodies

crime scene response and procedures 

the fbi can actually help you write your story as well, here.

more resources!

if you’re esl or struggle with grammar, this might help. 

fight scene advice (i see a lot of writers struggle with this, including me, but this helped a ton.)

more help on fight scenes

info on first drafts

editing vs. revising

10 things that might be stopping you from writing

language vs. dialect

a bunch of generators for cities and names

mithrilandmages name generators and lists (fantasy + modern generators)

over 100+ generators for a ton of fandoms 

medieval bestiary

greek mythology bestiary

norse gods and creatures

more norse mythology

scandinavian folklore

more scandinavian folklore

mythical creatures masterlist (not as in-depth as the bestiaries, but if you need ideas/a general overview, this is really good)

different types of povs

more pov stuff

more povs with definitions and lots of examples

how to choose your pov

gestures + body language masterlist

facial expressions masterlist

voice library with sounds according to different emotions (warning: they automatically play when you hover your mouse over them so lower your damn volume when you do, because some of them are really. uh. moany.)

printable storyboards

online storyboard making

writing, roleplaying + worldbuilding (advice on pretty much anything you could name)

some cool french phrases

essaytyper

harvard’s essay writing resources

tips on writing grief

a ton of different essays on writing topics

638 character traits

color shades + names 1, 2, 3, 4

alphabetical list of colors

date calculator

every literary device

animal tracking

compound bows, draw length + weight

famous last words

bite force of different animals

tips on writing accents

unique fracture patterns in glass/glassy polymers

a-z of careers

types of swords

general advice!

jot down ideas when you get them! 

don’t force yourself to write, or else you’ll burn out. and that’s never good. 

have snacks and drinks handy if you’re going to be writing for an extended amount of time. even if you’re not, your brain needs fuel to run.

so, drinks like tea and water. snacks that aren’t oily/greasy or crumbly (i mean, do you really want that on your paper or keyboard?), 

and on that note, for god’s sake use the bathroom frequently. 

if you have difficulty concentrating, get something like a fidget cube or something to help. or take a nap.

if you don’t think your writing is good at first, just keep. writing. it’s a skill, and the more you write, the better you’ll get.

beta readers and outside opinions are very helpful. and please, never antagonize them first. 

first drafts are messy! and done > perfect the first time around.

probably more stuff but it’s been 11+ hours and i want to play skyrim already so take it.  

#writing #resources #my brain did this instead of write #what do i tag here #crime #forensic science #writeblr

[retelling-of-ragnarok]

I don't know if this has to be said anonymously but idc I'm bold enough to say things without hiding 😤

I don't remember exactly how I found your blog, but I do remember that you appeared in my dash (interacting with someone or even recommended) and the first thing I noticed was the first sprites of Gwen like HOLY MOLLY?! There weren't many people who dared to draw their own sprites yet and seeing your fantastic art fuckin' blew me away 🤧💞

Then I started noticing how WELL you write, damn it, if that wasn't poetry then I don't know what it is. Bitch, you were partly one of the people who influenced my own style of writing and that's why it's so changed to my beginning 😩😩 But I didn't decide to change it until much later tho

And last but not least. THE LORE MAN. THE GOD TIER LORE.

There was so much information and you created your own world within the Diabolik Lovers universe, but you even managed TO CONNECT IT AND MAKE SENSE. Although some things have changed, your world is still a real wonder, and I am here to keep appreciating how you develop and progress everything 🙄🤚

Besides that you gave me very good vibes, and I sensed that you were a person with high energy 💅🛐

❆ okay first of all before i even say ANYTHING— YOU WROTE ME SO MUCH?!? you didn’t have to write this much but i’m vv grateful that you did 😭🤲♥️. OKAY NOW TO ACTUALLY TALKING ABT WHAT YOU SENT—

i always would love to draw my own sprites, even if it did take me fucking ages 😭 bc Gwen’s design is so specific, that it isn’t really anything i could capture well enough with a picrew or use an existing character face claim. plus i liked the idea of having a consistent style between my character(s) and the scenes i’d draw them in. (even though my style changes like a million times a month).

AND TYSM— AND THE COMPLIMENTS BOTH FOR MY WRITING AND MY LORE. i’m glad that it made sense to read, and that the changes i’ve made haven’t thrown others off :’). i’m always looking to improve my writing though— but i’m glad you enjoy the way that i write. >< IM ALWAYS SELF CONSCIOUS W IT BC ITS LIKE “hhhhhh is this well written enough.”

AND ITS SORTA THE SAME WITH THE LORE IDEAS I PUT OUT. IM ALWAYS LIKE “hhhhhh what if this is DUMB.”

but i’m super glad you found my blog, and im glad to be a mutual of yours. :’). and thank you, sosososoo much for this ask T-T it was so sweet and def made me more confident abt the things i post. ❆

#ask.stuff #iricathel

[lestatlioncunt]

OC SONG TAG

i was tagged by @nuclearstorms and @arklay thank you so much both of you mwah ♡

many already got tagged and since i don’t wanna bother everyone again i’m tagging whoever wants to do this!! literally do this, have fun and say i tagged you :3

step 1 ∶ create your oc (or ocs) in this picrew (i cheated on this one and didn’t do the picrew jsdhjhd) step 2 ∶ list 5 songs that inspired (or captured the feel of) your oc. if you choose multiple, feel free to pick your favourite or do songs for all of them! (feel free to list fewer or more songs if you want)

VESPER MOXLEY

Sacrifice - The Weeknd

i was born in a city | where the winter nights don't ever sleep | so this life's always with me | the ice inside my veins will never bleed

In your eyes - Jessie Ware

you were here before, then you go away | but i never left, i feel just the same | what i wanna know, did something change? | 'cause i can hardly breathe | i'm feeling like i wanna be free | from feeling this pleasure and the pain | but it never goes away | 'cause it's harder to see | when you're giving me every look i need | i live again | don't wanna be saved | but what i'm trying to say is that | it feels like | we've been dancing to this song all of our lives | and when you're here, i leave the world behind

Zero - Mahmood

prometto di essere più forte | perché per me sei tutto anche se | in questo mondo siamo | zero + nulla è zero se lo paragoni al cielo

(+ translation: i promise to be stronger | because to me you are everything even if | in this world we are | zero + nothing is zero if you compare it to the sky)

Little Dark Age - MGMT

breathing in the dark, lying on its side | the ruins of the day painted with a scar | and the more i straighten out, the less it wants to try | the feelings start to rot, one wink at a time

I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes) - The 1975

i bet you thought your life would change | but you're sat on a train again | your memories are sceneries | for things you said but never really meant // but your death, it won't happen to you | it happens to your family and your friends

FENIX HAYES

The End of the World - Sharon Van Etten

why does the sun go on shining? | why does the sea rush to shore? //  why do the birds go on singing? | why do the stars glow above? //  don't they know it's the end of the world? | 'cause you don't love me anymore

Better Version - Sabrina Claudio

i made the perfect you in my head | 'cause physically, you are the blueprint | but internally, god damn you're a mess | so to stay with you, i had to imagine

Inguaribile e Romantico - Ghemon

vorrei poterti offrire una versione | almeno un briciolo migliore di me | ma ormai mi hai in pugno e sai piuttosto bene | che spesso flirto con la solitudine | sto tra confini dove innalzo muri | e diffidenze a cui rimango sotto // vedi da un miglio che ripeto errori inconcepibili da fuori | tu sei il coraggio che a volte mi manca //  e in tutto questo io non ho, non ho | il buongusto di stare in silenzio

(+ translation: i wish i could offer you a version | at least a shred better than me | but by now you have me in hand and you know pretty well | that i often flirt with loneliness | i stand between borders where i build walls | and distrust that i remain under // you see me from a mile repeating inconceivable errors from the outside | you are the courage that i sometimes lack // and in all this i don't have, i don't have | the good taste of being silent)

Icaro è Libero - Mahmood

accusato giustamente di libero arbitrio | un reato che al potere da sempre fastidio | perché ho sognato di volare troppo in alto | perché ho pensato che ogni uomo sulla terra è un santo //  mi han tagliato le ali a colpi di cesoia | per non farmi tornar di volare mai la voglia | ma anche se sto fermo sai mi arriva il vento //  icaro è libero libero | nel corpo e lo spirito | icaro è libero si | e non arretra un centimetro

(+ translation: rightly accused of free will | a crime that has always been a nuisance to power | because i dreamed of flying too high | because i thought that every man on earth is a saint // they cut off my wings with shears | to never make me want to fly again | but even if i stay still you know i can feel the wind come // icarus is free free | in body and spirit | icarus is free yes | and he doesn't back away an inch)

Best Friends - The Weeknd

oh, I don't want to be responsible | for your heart if we fall | 'cause i'll get clumsy and tear it apart | i love you so, but we can't get close | you're my best friend now

#tag games #you can perfectly see the songs where i lose my mind bc are the longest i take parts from. like icaro è libero for fenix is literally BRRRRR #BRAIN STOPS WORKING. THEY WAY ITS SO PERFECT. i love zero for vesper too bc makes me think of her + her brother and i'm just #quietly drying my tears... THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH THEY ARE A FAMILY LIKE FOR THIS WORLD VALUES US LIKE ZERO!! #NOTHING AT ALL!!!! but for me you are everything :(( #in i always wanna die sometimes i think that it fits with ves in the way that she always tries to be strong for others (family mainly) but #if she had to think of herself alone she would let herself slowly die like she would give up trying to fight everything she's tired #'but your death doesn't happen to you but to your family and friends' THATS WHY SHE KEEPS ON FIGHTING BABY!!! SHE DOES IT FOR THEM #with fenix i guess a lot of songs for him would go on how he knows he's fucked up and flawed but he's not gonna change and that makes him #scared of being left alone. alone as he's always been. it's like a decaying process he can't stop. he knows its happening but he doesn't #stop it. oh and in your eyes well......THE FENIX/VES VIBES ARE SCREAMING. same as best friends and inguaribile e romantico #I JUST AAAAA OKAY I'LL STOP I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS FOR AGES #oc: fenix #oc: vesper

[mavkasilas]

Here’s another one I create from picrew ( I swear I can play on this website until the day I die.)

For the scenario: Fred is ALIVE and Percy is just want to have some cuddles

When Oliver feels something fluffy on his cheek, he open his eyes and found out it was Percy’s hair. He doesn’t know how the fck Percy sneak into his bedroom and tuck himself in his bed, but Oliver just pull up the blanket that almost slip to the floor, and gently cover them on Percy. 

He doesn't want to wake Percy up, because he seems so peaceful. After that, he look at the clock that place on his shelf.

6 a.m, actually no one will woke up at this time, except Oliver. 

He always the morning bird that will have a marathon in the nearest park. Even Percy, thought it’s a little bit unnecessary to wake up at this time. It’s damn too early.

But today Oliver decides to take a day off, why?? He doesn’t know the reason, maybe it’s because the person that sleeping besides him.Oliver gently laid back to the bed, and just starring Percy’s face.

Sounds awkward, but he has been doing this since they were roommates in their first year. He likes to trade those freckles on Percy’s face, from chin to neck, from neck to collarbone, from collarbone to his hands. The freckles on the pale skin are just like the shiny stars on the night sky, dazzle his eyes.

And all of the sudden, Oliver noticed something. It’s that...his quidditch sweater? He recognise the colour and the PuddleMere United logo. He has been searching for this sweater all day long.

“Oh god....”

Oliver murmured, and then he chuckle softly. The thief that had stolen his favourite sweater, for a long time is now sleeping safe and sound on his bed. He didn’t mad about it, but it does reminds him about back to Hogwarts, when Percy and him are roommates.

During the Christmas, he will steal some of Percy’s sweater to wear it. They seems so comfort and warm. At first, Percy doesn’t willing let him touch his sweater, but then he just give up and accept it. Since that day, Oliver wearing Percy’s sweater and Percy wearing Oliver’s quidditch sweater has become a traditional among them.

He really miss those good old days.

“...What time is it...”

Percy’s sleepy voice startled a bit Oliver, his chuckle has woke up Percy.

“It’s still early, go to sleep Perce.”

Oliver shush him gently, and automatically patting Percy’s back, but Percy seems awake now. He wait until his eyes focused on his, those brown eyes still look very exhausted and sleepy.

“I... I have a bad dream Ollie...”

Oliver likes the way when Percy still in a half sleepy and half awake mode. He looks like child that accidentally took a shot of fire whiskey and then got drunk.

“I... I lost you, in the dream... I dream I lost you.....”

“It’s just a dream, it’s not true. Don’t worry Perce, you didn’t lost me.”

He likes the way how Percy calls him “Ollie”,  but the way Percy sounds it’s making his heart ache. He sounds so lost and vulnerable. 

“You won’t leave me right......”

“Yes, I won’t leave you.”

“You promise me...?”

“Yes, I promise you. Do you want me to make the unbreakable vow?”

“NO... It’s too painful...”

“So go to sleep now. I won’t go anywhere.”

Finally Percy shut his eyes up, but his hand never leaves from Oliver’s shirt, grabbing them tightly. Oliver looks at Percy, and then slowly put his forehead on Percy’s. He gently rub his cheek with his thumb, just to make sure he still with him.

At this moment, Oliver doesn’t want to be Percy’s roommate anymore. He’s greedy, he wants to be more than Percy’s roommate. 

(yay that’s it.  Pls ignore some grammar mistake, I really try my best. Jeez I really love this kind of fluff fanfics, hope you guys enjoy. Maybe recommend me some of fluff perciver fanfics too?? I’m really run out of perciver fanfic.)

#percy weasley #oliver wood #percy x oliver #perciver

[fregget-frou]

I saw someone else share piccrews of some redacted characters, so I wanted to share what I thought they looked like and some small headcannons to go with the photos :)

I only did the freelancer audio characters, but I might do more characters in the future!

💕💞💗💖💓💝💘 let’s get to it then!

First, I wanna start with my character, Ben!

-goes by they/he pronouns and is ace but sex positive(registers Gavins relationship as platonic)

-they’re tall and skinny (tallest out of everyone, around 6’7; yes I made my oc tall I like it >:[ )

-love language is gift giving and tiny acts of affections. He likes to use his friends as taste tester when cooking new things. His favorite is mushroom risotto :)

-they have the matching friendship necklace but he usually wears his og gold necklace over their clothes(also this picrew didn’t let me choose both :[)

-they’re 24, took 1.5 years of college before needing to move across state and that’s where they eventually found D.A.M.N a year after moving

-their hair is super poofy and hates humidity, it makes them look like a Pomeranian. It’s like eternal 80s hair cut for them lol (this picrew also didn’t have a fluffy enough hair choice.)

-uses y’alld’ve unironically, Damien cringes whenever he does

Huxley

-goes by he/him pronouns

-he’s 23

-his love language is physical touch, so hugs and handholding are a norm with his friends

-has a matching friendship bracelet and necklace with Ben(also with Gavin but they haven’t met yet; Ben tells him Gavins cool so he doesn’t mind)

-can bake like no one’s business, seriously his cakes and sweets are phenomenal!!

- he’s tall (6’5)and has huge shoulders, can most definitely lift about everyone up off the ground.

-he’s from a small town in California, eternal accent that is adorable

Lasko

-goes by he/they pronouns and is ftm, also 23

-third shortest (5’7)

-he likes to make small post-it note origami when they’re talking to students, very nimble fingers they always turn out so cute! He made a jumping frog for Ben once and Ben still has it

-sweater vests for days, he loves light academia

-he’s more of a tea person, coffee only adds to their jittery nature and when he does get coffee it’s decaf

-huge imagination, listening to them talk about their characters for DnD, fandoms and original stories is so fun because he fleshes out characters and worlds so well. You could seriously listen to him for hours it’s so interesting!

- Gavin and him talk sometimes, usually about work but sometimes Lasko, Gavin and Ben go out for hotdogs and talk about stuff. Still a nervous reck around Gavin but he’s getting better :)

-the only thing this man knows how to make well is an omelette, everything else is either from a box or he’s strictly following a recipe like their life depends on it

Damien

-goes by he/him pronouns and is 22

-blind as a bat without his glasses, they are so thick I swear he would bump into a wall without them.

-incredibly competitive, everything will turn into a competition with y’all I swear putting away pens faster is not something we should be testing right now Damien

-can use his hands to heat up drinks

-avid tea drinker, if he hears you say coffee or god forbid, energy drinks are better than tea it’s an immediate argument

-for some reason he shows his care with arguments, but like, he also does it with people he dislikes?? Maybe for his friends it’s a debate.

-also can’t cook, main person Ben gives new recipes to because one, he’s good at constructive criticism and two, it’s really his only decent meal this week

The second shortest in this batch (5’4) he’s our short king tho dw

-uses 5 in 1 shampoo

-hates y’alld’ve. Gets visibly angry whenever Ben says it. Ben still does it

Gavin

-this is his human form, still won’t change his eyes to a normal color

-his demon form is similar to a teifling? His skin is bright pink, his horns are similar to rams horns with ridges. He’s like really tall is his demon form (almost 7 feet damn) and has hooves and a traditional spear shaped demon tail. His eyes are a bright orange

-usually uses He/him pronouns but he’s to sexc for gender

-dresses in strictly unbuttoned Hawaiian shirts with enough jewelry to make him jingle every time he moves. If he wants to be heard that is.

-has toe beans on his hands in demon form. Yes Ben likes to squish them when they chill together.

-has movie nights with Ben often, his favorites are treasure planet and wall E.

-have you ever been hugged by him?? Amazing beautiful gorgeous this man his is built for hugs.

-flamboyant as shit, but it’s endearing so we put up with it.

-he’s 5’10 in human form, it does not stop him from being hella strong and being able to lift furniture easily.

-always chooses walugi in mariokart

-made friendship necklaces with Ben and Caelum once, still wears it with his jewelry.

-heard about how Ben made an extra for one of his friends Huxley, also wants to meet him but for different reasons. You better not do anything weird man |:[

And last but not least, Caelum!

-goes by all pronouns, also does not care about gender whatsoever

-so smol,, 4’11 so teeny we love to see it

-also wears lots of Hawaiian shirts but has a amazing collection of super soft sweaters and hoodies.

-in his demon form he is lavender, with smaller smooth/glossier horns on his forehead and soft dark purple eyes. Most demons have no pupils or irises in their demon form :]

-he. Has. Paws!! His toe beans are so cute ugh <3

-loves to accessorize with beads and hair clips. Also makes manny loom bracelets and bead bracelets.

-yknow those crazy loom bracelet makers? These ones? Yeah he’s an expert at those he can make little mini people with them seriously.

-also likes to give gifts to his friends, he knits super soft sweaters

-he’s so fast on his tiny legs, chill out man!!

-he likes to join Ben and Gavin on their movie nights, his favorite movies to watch is the toy story franchise and the ice age franchise

-he has a blanket in Bens room that he specifically sleeps with when they have sleepovers.

-fluffy hair, braid it while his chills and talks about stuff it’s so calming

-bonus: his usual facial expressions can be summed up to; :O, :D , :3, >:]. If he has a phone he’d use those.

————

I might draw them if I have time but anyways have a nice week!

#redacted asmr #redacted asmr Gavin #redacted asmr freelancer #redacted asmr Huxley #redacted asmr Lasko #redacted asmr Caelum #redacted asmr Damien #picrew #small headcannons

[milucas]

lucas's redacted ocs- emerson shaw

i promise he started off as an actual original person but he's just evolved into a self insert ok leave me alone

picrew and basic info as usual

bisexual

trans man (he/him)

electro energetic

he's also a singer (that's a surprise tool that will help us later ;D)

dating jack

ok im gonna be honest,,, @cottagecorexboy wrote a series of hcs with davey as a single dad (which i will link here) and i have been infected with single dad davey brainrot ever since so i made an oc and this is him

his backstory p much goes along with those hcs where he ran away from home and david found him while on a security job and took him in

he ran away from home bc (surprise surprise) family problems

both of his parents had a lot of issues with addiction, eventually they both lost their jobs and then all of their money, and his situation just got worse and worse until he finally just ended up running away a couple months before his 13th birthday when his powers had just barely started to manifest

he was only homeless for a month or so before david took him in

he didn't have a lot of time to do anything for himself or figure anything out since his childhood was so,,, um,,,,, eventful

but david is really accepting and does his best to help his son through anything (god im such a slut for found family omg)

emerson doesn't really know what a healthy family is supposed to look like, so he's surprised by a lot of basic things that the pack does for him and it breaks david's heart every time he notices

eventually he started healing and getting better but it's a pretty slow process

he didn't really have any friends growing up, so he's kind of a loner, but he got paired up with jack for a really tough group project

they had to spend a lot of time outside of class to finish it, which is the only reason they became friends

at some point jack heard emerson singing and decided to invite him to watch his band practice for a gig they had coming up

emerson was THRILLED

he'd never seen any band or artist perform live so he was super excited even though it was just a rehearsal

when he got there tho jack told him their lead singer wanted to focus more on her instrument, and suggested he should sing along with them and see what happens

needless to say emerson absolutely killed it

everyone in the band was super impressed by how good he was, especially since he'd never performed live before and never with a punk rock band

so they agreed to put him on "trial run", where he was still rehearsing with them and learning the songs but he didn't do any shows with them yet and he wasn't helping with any of the booking/money/etc.

he joined the band officially at about 14 (these children are doing better with their music career than me at 17 god damn)

his electricity comes in handy a lot when they have technical difficulties

like everyone knows he can just. make stuff work. even if they don't know he's an energetic. everytime some piece of equipment dies or goes wrong they're just like "welp time to call emerson"

even though he's older now he's still working through a lot of that trauma and all the stuff he internalized

he's very attention starved bc he doesn't really know how it works and he doesn't think he deserved affectionate but now he's got a whole found family and an entire wolf pack to smother him in love and remind him that he is loved and that he deserves love

and a bf who is also pretty fucked up and has a lot of issues to work out himself, but they love each other and help each other out anyways

#can you tell im having a hard time rn just by the way i write about my ocs #bc i can #redacted asmr #redacted asmr oc #emerson shaw #david shaw #redacted davey #redacted david #shaw pack #quoth the raven 🕯

[bloodgoddarlin]

I'm just gonna leave Hestias Picrew here until I finally manage to get to drawing again because honestly I've barely been holding a pencil the past few months and I kinda regret it lol.

NEway more thoughts on poly relationship with Io and Hestia because that's all I want rn (doing AMAB/male!Reader here bc why not)

So we had a lot of different readers on here but I think we haven't had piglin brute!Reader so far? Let's expand on this an actually say that our Reader is actually a General. He's a regular visitor at Hestia's because of various injuries he gets - he may get scolded by the female piglin but all it does is make him smile. All it does is make him think that she's so adorable when she's mad at him because he's not taking good enough care of himself. Up until now the Reader never had to worry about takin someone as his husband or wife - he had just figured it would naturally happen one day since most piglin brutes were admired among their people.

And then she just crashed into his life and turned it around but god damn did he know that there was a lot of competition for he - of course there was. He could understand the other males that wanted to conquer her heart - they probably felt the same things as he did after all. Whenever he talked to her it felt like she was warming him up from the inside, as if there was nothing for him to worry about. With obvious competition he knew he'd have to hurry if he wanted Hestia for himself - if he wanted to be the one to corrupt her seemingly purity, her innocence.

Oh if they only knew that there was someone who had corrupted her such a long time ago...

Io was there a lot, not only because he got beat uo by Brutus for jokes he maybe shouldn't have made but also for injuries that came from hunting, training or actual fights.

"Ah General, I'll be with you right away" She chirped as you entered the room and shortly after you could hear Io hissing.

"Well, if you don't like the burn maybe you should stop pissing of Brutus" Hestia teased, and both, you and Io himself knew it was true but you knew that Io wouldn't accept it that easily.

You heard him grumble something but you couldn't quite make out what it was, all you knew was that he had said something that must have shocked the female a bit.

"I-Io not here, not now!" She whispered grabbing his shoulders and digging her fingers into his skin. Gods she looked adorable with that red face and that shocked facial expression. The Piglin chuckled and grinned at her. "Am I free to go doc? Don't want to keep your other patient waitint huh?"

"Y-yeah you're good" She mumbled.

"Well then, I'll see you later darlin'~"

You watched Io leave before turning to the still ashamed Hestia but she was quick to catch herself again and looked at you.

"What can I do for you sir?" She asked with a smile.

"Just here for a check-up, you know because of that wound" She seemed to remember pretty well.

"Ah, yeah, that one!" She replied, grabbing something from one of the shelves. "I'd need you to remove your shirt"

You obliged and pulled the pirce of fabric over your head, gritting your teeth as you did. The wound still hurt a little when you moved but it was nothing you couldn't handle. She began to change the bandage and you felt like it was a bit too quite right now.

"Soooooo...are you and Io a thing?"

"What?" She got a little louder and blushed once more. "Gods no! I mean...like it's nothing seri-...well I don't know what we are." Her trying to find the right words was utterly adorable.

"Figured" You chuckled. Watching her as her fingers ghosted over your skin, touching it ever so slightly that it felt like her purposefully trying to tease her even if you knew that it wasn't exactly like her.

What happens next was something neither of you could have seen coming. You grabbed her face and pulled her close before kissing her. Hestias lips felt so soft and she had such a nice taste - something nice and fresh, almost sweet. It takes a while for her to react before you felt her kissing you back.

When you pulled back after what felt like an eternity she was heavily panting, looking at you in slight shock though you weren't sure if she was shocked about what you had done or about how she had reacted.

"I...- sir I'm...so so sorry...!" She was stumbling over her words so much that it almost made you chuckle, but right now wasn't the right time for this.

So I do not know how to continue this buuut I have some small thoughts added to this.

-Io and the Reader both are switches and are just searching for opportuinities to punish each other, poor Hestia sometimes gets used as 'bait' and then has to life with endless overstimulation from either of you.

-Whenever you or Io come home from work her welcoming presence will great you, give you a good feeling as she continues to prepare dinner and asks you how her day was.

-STILL HOUSEWIFE HESTIA BEING A GOOD HOUSEWIFE AAAH

-ANYWAYS whenever you enter your rut and you're "done" with breeding her properly Io can bet his ass it's gonna be his turn soon, he better find an excuse to why exactly he's limping like that when Brutus asks him the next time.

-same goes for Hestias heat though - if you're too tired you usually just let her ride you and use you until either she's to weak to go one or you are shooting blanks and have to let Io take over.

-you and Hestia taking care of each other after Io was banished along with Lucius and Brutus

-if we go after the original story line: You staying with her and supporting her through her whole pregnancy and the closer she comes to the due date for birth the more protective you get - the more you treat her as if she was made of glass.

Idk brain empty lol

Bunny this is WONDERFUL i love it sm!! Love all of this.

Love the idea of reader being a General too!! Woah nice 😍

#io tag #hestia tag #others ocs #long post

[guigz1-coldwar]

'An lot of things ' : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

"An lot of things"

Chapter Summary : After talks in her head with 'Bell' & Lazar while the others were saving her, Yirina could finally awake, free from 2 weeks of been an Perseus prisoner.....and she has an lot of things to say....

Link of the Picrew used !

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3000

Taglist : @snowgoldwaylon , @clxudtea , @efingart

------------------------------------------------------------------

Again....I have to wait again....again. I don't know in fact if they managed to save me....or they failed but I'm still thinking so they must have succeeded. When the safehouse disappeared along with Lazar...with everything, it could have probably means that they were getting at the end of the operation to save me. I don't know how but during that long wait, I could have swear that in the back of my head, their voices...I could hear them perfectly at sometimes, trying to keep me alive, to ensure that me, Yirina Grigoriev, will open her eyes again after I passed out and continue to live....

And that what I could feel in my body when, after an very long time of patience, my eyes could finally open slowly, still blurry before discovering where I was now. It was an medical room, the one of the safehouse of Verdansk, me in an sort of hospital bed, still dressed in the same clothes I had for 2 weeks now with the slight difference that bandages were felt below an new shirt that replaced the bloody one, right on the gunshot wound at an few centimeters from my heart, that pain still present.

However, there were no one present in the room except me....&....& Park, laid down on another bed, still sleeping and seeing her like that, it was making me mostly sad, fearing for her state since the moment that she passed out in the jeep but it was looking like she was better on her face. I couldn't stay on that medical bed, despite my state. I was maybe feeling an pain in the shoudler but I was able to get out of the bed, going next to Park's one...to be close of her....they took us apart for 2 weeks, only able to see her once in that period.

"Park." I whispered as I was arriving near her bed, posing my hands delicately on it to look at her before I decided to put my right hand on her face, wanting to feel that touch on my fingers. "We did it...we escaped." I repeated my words of hope to her and....she brought an little smile on her face as she was unconscious, maybe having heard me or dreaming of me.....an smile that I missed.

Honestly, I wanted to take her in my arms, tell her how much I love her and stay with her but....I didn't want to worsen her state, preferring to let her wake up properly before actually doing this with her. As I was so much thinking of her, I was remember Lazar's suggestion in my head....'ask her hand'....it was an good idea and I could refind my mother's ring, still inside the same pocket I put it along with Adler's sunglasses. I took it but for the moment, I decided to keep it with me, putting it at my own hand.

"I'm coming back, Park." I said as I decided to let Park alone for the moment, trying to go find the others before putting an little kiss on her forehead and then, starting to walk slowly out of the room.

I thought that I would find someone that were probably going to get here but instead, I was met with nobody in the small hallway that was separating the dorm to the main room and seeming like it was the beginning of the day, it was more likely to find everyone back in where they were all working and when I slowly open the door, I could find an group of them around what I remember to be Woods's office.

"Bullshit !" The first person that I heard inside that room was Woods himself, sounding an bit enthusiatic....but it wasn't because I was here because he didn't see me, no one saw me....must be playing with cards....

"One queen." I then heard Song spoke up, the person that Woods was looking at. "And....two queens !" She then exclaimed when she put her card on the middle of the desk....is that this game Zasha talked about weeks ago ?...

"How in the fucking world ?" Woods complained, almost ready to throw out his own cards away and no one in the room was seeing me as I was arriving near them...slowly. "It's impossible to have two queens in here !" He then start to pick up the cards in the middle.

"You're just an loser or something, Woods ?" Sims scoffed, an smile on his face before I decided to intervene.

"By looking at it, yes !" I replied at Woods place, laughing about it before retracting because of the pain.

"Go fuck yourself, Yirina !" He yelled, sounding very normal before everyone stopped themselves in their moves, all eyes going wide as they were all now looking at me...finally...."My god !" Woods breathed, been the first to go up from his chair, soon followed by Sims, Wolf & Song.

"Good to see you all." I told them as Woods make the first move, going to take me in his arms, wrapping them around me.....an bit firmly. "Woods, my shoulder." I whispered to him as his arms weren't doing very good to me now.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry." He apologized, withdrawing from me with an smile on his face.

"And we all thought to have lose you." Sims proclaimed, moving to shake hands with me, thinking that he wouldn't do like Woods. "You gave to everyone an damn scare." He added after we shook hands.

"But as we see, you're back." Song was the next one, repeating the same process with her before doing the same thing with Wolf.

"Might need some bourbon, would you ?" Wolf proposed gently but I politely refused for that, gesturing that it wasn't an good idea for me.

"I....how is everyone ?" I asked to all like that.

"Oh, we're well !" Sims responded, removing his cap to scratch his forehead as I moved to get sit on an chair near by....from an desk that wasn't even mine...I couldn't remember where it was. "And you ?"

"I can't really say that I'm well to be honest." I claimed even after getting that promised freedom, it was going to take time....an long time before we can...if we can forget about these events. "I'm sure that you want to know what happened."

"If you don't want to tell, it's okay." Woods expressed his worries about what happened during 2 weeks to me & Park but they all needed to know.

"No, it's important." I told him before I looked around the room, only seeing the four of them inside. "Where's Hudson ?" I demanded.

"He took an flight back to the US...he said that he needed to check up Adler's recovery." Wolf answered as the group were also going to sit on their chairs, moving them to get next to me.

"So, Adler is now safe & already away..." I whispered, thinking about him and seeing him, getting treated perfectly by the CIA. "By the way before starting, take those, Sims." I added, wanting to give Adler's sunglasses to him.

"No, you should give them back to him by yourself, it's better." Sims refused to take them, causing me to keep them with me, wondering why Sims wouldn't want them now.

"What happened, Grigoriev ?" Song questioned me, already in the subject.

"Well, it turned out that our mission in the Yamantau was an trap : Hudson set us up." I started and like I predicted, eyes went wide at all sides.

"That's why that fucker flied away, he didn't want to face you after you accused him to set you up." He rolled his eyes around, looking at Hudson's desk in shame.

"We were captured and it seems that we were hold in an Kastovian base at the north of Verdansk." I continued to tell them the story, slowly because I wanted to tell them...everything. "In fact, they didn't try to torture us." I admitted but I know that this was false...they tortured us mentally. "Just at the beginning."

"Only at the beginning ?" Wolf repeated.

"Wolf, let her speak." Sims objected, putting his hand on Wolf's shoulder before making an sign with his head to continue.

"They tried to make me pass some tests...to bring me back." I said, realizing that I couldn't lie anymore. "Okay, I stop to lie now, I need to tell the truth about who I am !"

"Yirina, you don't..."

"I have to do this, Woods." I cut him straight in his words. "I never actually defected from Perseus...well, I wanted to but someone in the CIA saw something else." I took an deep breath and closing my eyes. "Adler actually brainwashed me." I revealed despite that Sims, Woods & Song were already aware of it but not Wolf.

"Brainwashed ?" I could see him move his lips that were basically saying these words.

"I was given an name...Bell." I whispered, mixed about thinking of that name....was it good or bad ? "The CIA were trying to break me into revealing Perseus location and I did tell them but what I gained was an bullet in the head." I exclaimed, pointing at my scar. "I only woke up 4 months ago in an hospital in Moscow."

"Shit but what happened next ?" Wolf asked, curious & shocked.

"I couldn't go back to Perseus, only going back to the CIA....no, I came back to the MI6, to Park." I asserted my choice, knowing that it was the best to do. "During these 4 months, I managed to get an part of my memories back, discovering things about me that I couldn't believe right." I was sounding an little bit happy by saying that, thinking positively. "When they captured me the 2th of June, I had to act as 'Bell' until I cracked after they almost tried to kill Park." I revealed.

"Damnit but what did they try to do ? Who was there ?" Song demanded.

"Adler was there but they must have transferred him away before you can all recover him the 10th of June." I remembered that moment when Stitch, Freya & Knight looked at that video tape. "I know that because....Stitch viewed an tape of your rescue attempts you did." I told them as they were surprised that I was able to know that.

"We should have maybe cleaned up the place more better." Woods muttered, scratching his cheeks but that wasn't his fault.

"I cracked but they were still hoping to have me back so....they tried to brainwash me again." I breathed by saying those words. "They got their hands on the CIA files about me, they tried to use it against me but somehow, it didn't work."

"Wait, you're actually saying that Perseus tried to brainwash you again ?" I nodded at Sims question, surprised to hear that.

"Perseus thought that they have won and they kept their guard low...Wraith was the one who were accompanying me the day before I escaped with Park." I assured them before my thought was on Freya. "Wraith...is in fact my old girlfriend if you all want to know." I preferred to reveal that detail that I hide to everyone and like I thought, eyes went wide again. "Yeah, I know, that's stupid from me to hide that."

"No, not at all." Song reassured me, reajusting herself on her chair.

"To tell the truth, we did escape with the help of someone on their side : Sonya Kuzmin." I told them, mentioning their name but at the second I told it, I felt like a regret, thinking that I should have keep silence about it. "They...uhm...I was wearing an backpack when I arrived here, where is it ?" I literally changed the subject, hoping that no one was going to ask me back about them.

"Got it, don't move." Woods replied, going up from his chair quickly to get the backpack that was on another desk before coming back with it in his hands. "Here you go." He handed me the bag, taking it in my hands.

"I was able to come back with some of my things but...." I stopped myself when I could feel my hands touching Lazar's diary. "Woods, Sims....it belonged to Lazar." I showed them the book, seeing the sad feeling on their eyes.

"Shit." They both mumbled in unison.

"I don't know how they got it but....it's really strange." I gave my opinion on the subject as I wanted to give them the book but both refused to take it, prompting me to put it back in the bag, thinking that I was the one to keep it. "And then....we were able to escape and...everyone knows what happened next." I exclaimed, keeping the bag on my lap, my hands over it.

"That's quite an big story to say." Sims quoted, passing his hands throught his face.

"And about all of you, what happened in 2 weeks ?" I asked them, now wanting to know their side of the story.

"Nothing too big except Adler's rescue 6 days ago." Woods answered, raising his shoulders to me. "On these 2 weeks, we were mostly trying to find out about where you could have been." He added.

"And where's Rivas ?" I questioned them as I thought that she was also here.

"She got wounded 2 days after we saved Adler and Hudson moved her out of the operation for the time being until she recovered and can come back." Wolf was the one to respond to me crossing his arms and looking towards an direction away. "As you & Park got saved, the CIA is going to think to pull us out of Verdansk but with Perseus moves, it's better to say cautious."

"And it's sure that you're going to need help." I proclaimed but Woods shook his head.

"Yeah but you & Park, you're going back to England." He said but it was sure that our state wasn't going to allow us to stay here.

"Yeah, that's logic." I stated.

"To say, we got calls almost everyday from an certain Zasha Smirnov of the MI6." Wolf scoffed, getting my full attention on him at hearing this name.

"Zasha called you ?" I whispered and everyone nodded.

"They were worried as hell and each day, they wanted to get updated about the situation." Sims completed, passing his hand behind his head. "At least now, they know that you were saved."

"They will be people to replace you & Park for the moment but as we think, you will be out for an long time until you can both come back." Woods explained and I nodded, knowing that we got no choices. "I think that it will be an cryptographer from the CIA called Liliya Petrov, is that right, Sims ?" He demanded and Sims nodded.

"You will be leaving tomorrow, we already make calls to the MI6 and for the moment, you & Park take an rest." Sims told me, getting up from his chair. "Like we said, it's making us very happy that you're still alive." He added with an smile before moving his chair back near Woods desk.

"You're right, I should go back with Park." I breathed, also going up from my chair as the others were putting their chairs back to where they took them. "Thank you all again for having saved me." I thanked them.

"We did what we had to do, Yirina." Woods smiled at me before going back to his desk.

"And now, don't be an loser !" I scoffed, seeing him taking back the cards to play their game and I was greeted by an middle finger from him, making me laugh before I start to move away from the room to get back at the medical room.

It was necessary to tell them everything and now, I was able to go back with Park, hoping that she was maybe awake but when I stepped inside the room, she was still sleeping on her bed, making me feel an bit sad to still see her like that. I returned back near her, now holding her left hand in my right one, keeping it with me gently until....I could witness her eyes slowly opening, sending more delight.

"Yiri...." That was her first word that she pronounced and I was already happy to have her back.

"My god, Park." I whispered, my voice filled with emotions and my eyes starting to cry for real, getting taken over by the emotions. "You're here." I added, an smile on my face and looking at our both hands.

"Yes, I'm here." She slowly grinned to me, her eyes rather focused on the ring that was on my right hand. "Is that your mother's ring ?" She asked and I nodded. "It's looking beautiful."

"Thanks." I snorted, quickly passing my hand through my face to clean up any tears on it. "Park, you don't know how much I'm freaking happy to see you back."

"Me too." She affirmed, sharing the same pain. "Not able to see you for days, it was painful." She continued, taking an breath to focus back. "Seeing you but on that stretcher, it brought me back bad memories."

"I know." I muttered, remembering the events 3 years ago. "I don't know how I managed to hold on and to survive the trigger memories." I said. "Both of us....I maybe going to sound like Adler but...we've really been through hell together, we've really fought together, we've...we've really bled together." I admitted, really sounding like Adler but all true in my words.

"But at the end, we succeeded to survive, now awaiting for the next part." She told me silently before she moved aside a little on her bed. "Please, come." She suggested, wanting to have me on her bed and I had to comply, installing myself on the space she did for me on that bed. "I have thought to have lost you for good when I saw you with that bullet wound." She started, moving her arms around me as I did the same with my left arm, posing it above her shoulders.

"I was already accepting my fate but I was convinced." I proclaimed, sounding sadly as I was feeling back that skin with my fingers...it was making me sad & happy at the same time. "I knew that I have to continue fighting for you and for me."

"And you know that we're here, that I'm here for that." She admitted, getting me closer of her as we both exchanged glares, seeing the sadness in our eyes. "Yirina, I love you, I will never abandon you."

"I love you too, you're the only thing that is keeping me alive with my friends." I affirmed proudly as I closed my eyes, finally feeling the freedom to be back with her again after these horrible days....

"They wanted to break us apart but we showed that we are unbreakable....forever !"

#cod bocw #cod cold war #cod black ops cold war #cod cw #call of duty cold war #cod #call of duty #cod bell #black ops cold war #yirina grigoriev #helen park #fem!bell

[notthatiwilleverwriteit]

I made “now” and sort of “what if” versions of our boys. What if they hadn’t met certain people? What if the direction of their lives hadn’t changed? What if they hadn’t said the things they said? What if they never found a limit?

The bar where Mo Guan Shan worked at almost got robbed one night but Mo Guan Shan knocked the guy out. The owner of the bar was impressed and told Mo Guan Shan about an illegal fighting ring. He could easily earn some extra cash with his skill. At first, Mo Guan Shan wasn’t interested but then his mother was hospitalized and suddenly he was facing hospital and medication bills. “You think I could really do well?” he asked his boss, telling himself that it was either this or asking someone for money and he wasn’t going to make that mistake again. His first opponent was easy and the prize money was lucrative. His boss praised Mo Guan Shan for getting the crowd going with his ferocity. “Just let me know if you want to earn easy money again,” he said and gave him a thick wad of crumpled bills. He fought another match about a week later. Soon, he started to gain a reputation. People called him the “Mad Dog”. His boss - now his unofficial manager who also hustled as a bookkeeper at Mo Guan Shan’s matches - even came up with the idea of the muzzle. "Showmanship, you have to have showmanship," he had said when Mo Guan Shan had frowned at the damn thing. "You gotta give them a show." It was snowing the night Mo Guan Shan beat up a kid much younger than him. The boy hadn’t even had a chance against him. After the fight, Mo Guan Shan threw up behind a dumpster and tried to wash off the kid’s blood with snow until his hands were red with cold instead.

He Tian ended up working for his family, and his life was spiraling. He lived by himself downtown in a spacious loft apartment. Despite having money, the apartment was sparsely furnished. A double mattress on the floor in front of the wall of windows stretching a view over the city. At an arm’s reach next to the mattress was his laptop and an overflowing ashtray. A couch and TV that he rarely watched but had pretty much always on. A rack for his clothes that he didn’t just store in various piles on the floor. He worked as a debt collector. And he was good at it, too. He was good at finding people and putting the fear of God in them. It helped that you didn’t give a shit. Like how he had beat up this one redhead kid when he couldn’t have paid his monthly interest. The dullness made it easy, and it had set into him so deep you could see it in his eyes. When he wasn’t working, He Tian took the dullness out on booze, drugs, and women - sometimes men. Whenever his brother came to visit him, he narrowed his eyes at the fresh hickeys spotting He Tian’s neck and the empty beer cans littering the floor. “Disgraceful,” he always muttered. He Tian drag on his cigarette and told him to give him the intel on the new mark and fuck off already.

“Zhan Xixi, I like you. I’m sorry.” had been the last message Jian Yi sent Zhan Zheng Xi before his phone had been taken away and destroyed. As the big bodyguards had been relocating him and his mother, he had wondered if he would ever see Xixi again. He didn’t wonder that anymore. But sometimes it still caught him off guard. Something happened during the day and he snatched his phone, eager to tell Zhan Zheng Xi all about it, only to remember that these days his phone only had three contacts: “Auntie”, “Dentist”, and “Mom”. And neither of them was Xixi’s number - nor his aunt’s, dentist’s or mother’s. He was left alone a lot. Well, there’s always someone watching him, but he’s still alone. Jian Yi has started to spend more and more time in his dreamland. Imagining talking with Zhan Xixi even though he can barely remember his voice anymore. He’s terrified of the day when he can’t recall his face, too. Jian Yi is afraid he will lose a part of himself that can't be replaced. The minutes Jian Yi spends deep in thought easily stretch into hours. He is still being trained but he doesn’t fear the pain anymore. Brother Qiu had been right in saying that he would get used to it eventually. He's stopped holding back while training Jian Yi, and Jian Yi almost welcomes the bruises and soreness. For his birthday, Jian Yi wanted a floral tattoo on his neck. One day, he wants to once again feel Zhan Zheng Xi’s fingers knead the back of his neck.

“Zhan Xixi, I like you. I’m sorry.” That message is the center of Zhan Zheng Xi’s life these days. No matter where he is or what he’s doing, it’s always on his mind, occupying its every last nook and cranny. He wishes he had never received it. He couldn’t live without it. He works as a police officer, trying to be promoted to an investigator. He works 80 hours a week, but it’s not work for him. Not really. He’s learning, training. He’s getting closer to that message, he can feel it. His coworkers have long ago given up on inviting him along to drinking parties and get-togethers. You couldn’t have a better partner as an officer than Zhan Zheng Xi but damn the guy needs to let loose every now and then. They don’t get it, Zhan Zheng Xi thinks to himself while politely but firmly turning down one of his female coworkers nervously asking if he had any plans for the weekend. None of them get it. He’s getting closer. He knows he is. He has to be getting closer by now. Maybe the black-haired junkie punk he had caught the other night but hadn't booked finally has some answers for him.

She Li is searching, too. He’s looking for God himself. The same from when he pushed a red-haired kid against a wall, grabbed a fistful of his soft hair, and looked down at the watering eyes pleading him. A portal had opened that day, channeling energy that had overwhelmed She Li and taken over him. That God. But God had proven to be fickle. She Li had tried to connect with Him again but something had always been missing. He lives within She Li. She Li is Him, he just needs to find Him again. If She Li finds Him in himself, he can find Him in other people, too. He wants to turn them all into gods and feed on them. Be the God of gods. But he's been going about it all wrong. To find Him again, first, he must sacrifice himself. Before he was the marker but now he needs to let God come to him. Nothing of him can be left untouched, not sullied. Use him, push him down, mark him as His, so he can find Him again. He’s calling She Li’s name, telling him that he’s meant for great things.

Bonus:

He Cheng realized the error of his ways when he stepped over the gate’s threshold and smelled free air for the first time in 15 years. Released early for good behavior. All his life, He Cheng had thought he knew patience and humility but it had turned out, he knew nothing of those things. He had been arrogant and blind. But he had been a good student for over a decade and now he had enough patience and humility to properly enjoy destroying the parties responsible. He would thank them for this lesson in life by making every last memory of them ever even existing disappear into thin air. Across the parking lot, Qiu was leaning against his car, smoking a cigarette. For a second, his eyes widened when he spotted He Cheng and his buzzcut. The ragged scar under his eye. But he doesn’t ask. He doesn’t even ask about the neat line of vertebras tattooed along He Cheng's spine when he’s fucking into him from behind at the nearest cheap motel they had found. He just silently slides his wide, rough palm over it and sinks his teeth into He Cheng’s nape where the ink meets the soft fuzz.

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#19 days #mo guan shan #he tian #tianshan #jian yi #zhan zheng xi #zhanyi #she li #he cheng #brother qiu #qiucheng #my 19 days post #my edit #ntiwewi