#give me a weird fucked up style and costume design

[bentosandbox]

I think that majority of players don’t even know that chen is one of the main character in game that it’s sad. I see a lot of people complaining about her appearing in stories after reunion arc even though her screen time is already a lot less than amiya and kaltsit… I think yj already forgot about the main characters concept lmao but her getting new outfit at different region is cool i guess but why are those outfits so weird- (sorry this is just my personally ranting…

true! before I go on my own ramble everyone else can scroll down to the bottom for (unconfirmed??) ten thousand mountains lore/trivia

i have a feeling this image is somehow related to your ask LMFAO...

actually... have they mentioned the whole 'kaltsit = past, chen = present, and amiya = future' thing outside of CN or did i dream this i feel like they said it somewhere...i can kind of see how people would think amiya is the only protag seeing as there are people who unironically think the doc is the (sole/main) protag and chen/kal acting so antagonistic early on probably didnt help lol

2. yea its sad but as always if chen has 1 morbillion fans i am one of them if she has one im that 1 fan etc drinking their salty tears 🫡🫡🫡

3. uhhh went on a little costume design ramble sorry. my outfits copium is basically telling myself she's really getting the 'dad who does not really understand fashion buying(designing) clothes for child' treatment anime-style (like what can i say other than point to the night and day difference of dossoles chummer e2 fit vs the ice cream collab fit)

i have my personal nitpicks for every outfit but (looks at gavial2 summer skin) a 8.8 is so much better than a...nvm i'll refrain from grading. but for all the nits i pick i think they still pass the baseline of costume design because of the storytelling they do

base chen: cop who likes to yolo a bit too much, leave that one button undone so roll up her sleeves, give her gloves, give her a walkie talkie/earpiece etc, e2 makes that jacket even bigger and has that yummy rhodes teal

CNY skin: still of the opinion/hc that its the dress fumizuki mentioned which is why she looks like shes wearing it grudgingly, it has shorts though at least !!

chummer: shes (trying to be) on a holungday so bring back her epic tourist c cap and make her existing recognizable jacket more summer-y, also the duck heart emoji

victorian arc: cop sideclass(?) to sheriff detective or something, embracing her cringe but free era by leaving her collars up now has the sense to tuck in her shirt and wear actual pants, better coverage against the elements etc etc thank terra nevermind the fact theyre so tight fitting this is just like khr also she looks flatter in the animated PV smile i'm reminded of a wb comment that went sth like 'why are you dressing like this when youre already 30' on this fit and shes not explicitly 30 etc etc but i really like the 'chuuni(cringe but free) at 30' vibe

yumen: passing-by traveler with the cape!!! 👍👍👍👍👍👍 i really like how it looks in the cg lol with the thinner/darker stripes on the outside, ngl no fucking idea what that green box is but i appreciate chen still having a little green and yellow on her outfit, the shortness of the dress? bothered me at first but ive come to the terms that chen is a shorts enjoyer so

10k mountains: youxia-core with the hat and cape👍👍👍👍👍👍 and keeps the plastic part from chummer jacket as well as the checkers (i think they were zips but you know, the black and white alternating…lol remember how her current thing is supposedly dealing with the reality of being grey or whatever as little sense as that makes. we are in full hc territory here but its so much better than adding another 20 belts) the heels dont exist to me though

like idk it's not even a high bar honestly just nail down the role/silhouettes first before adding your morbillion belts/fanservice 😭 looking at a certain bunch of characters anyway this is why swire has the best track record for outfits 1/? ill stop here before i start tambling about her summer drip

anyway everyone should look at this Canon(as in camera brand not the other meaning) ad ft. real cormorant im convinced they got the designs from HG early because they dropped a photoshoot ~bout a week after the 4anni livestream and they got the 2hu-style sleeves right that you can never see unless you look at the sprite sheet, uh

wait what's this on the back

oh its from a poem wait whys that so famili

just going to link some translations/explainers of the poem i think but you can also look up '涼州詞 王之渙 + english translation' or something for more there's quite a few

#bentoask #Anonymous #arknights #bentotexto #ahh...yearnknights

[apotelesmaa]

HELLO .WAIT. do you have more thoughts on wxs soul eater au i never considered combining the two even thiugh i am off the walls crazy about the,m

Oh I have. So many thoughts. You asking abt it even made me get up off my ass and draw again. Putting everything under the cut to avoid having a mile long post.

When I first had the idea I really struggled on who was a weapon/meister but after deciding on wanting to pair ruikasa/emunene up I was like tsukasa and emu need to be the meisters bc 1) it fits with them being the founding duo of wxs 2) I really wanted nene to be a gun 3) fitting tsukasa’s goals into the SE universe worked better if he was a meister. I elected to make rui a whip first and then I realized I could fit a bloodborne reference in there and reference becoming potatoes with the cane. I’m not entirely satisfied w the first pass at designs for the universe (not super close to the SE aesthetic, I cannot draw guns, I’m not very good at character design, etc) but i kind of tried to pull inspiration from:

- tsukasa and emu’s happy Phoenix costumes (split colors on tsukasa’s coat, tsukasa’s boots, the corset/bell sleeves/little cape thingie for emu)

- for tsukasa specifically: piano (b&w colors and stupid long coat tails), his second wxs costume

- emu: bc I drew her last and it was getting late I did less searching and more winging it but I did try to combine the style of her wxs costumes (shoes, dress, striped socks) & general darker Lolita (for lack of a better word) fashion.

- nene: her gaming event card (weird energy ball device thing? Which I would imagine functions similar to dtk’s shooting soul wave lengths thru the thompsons)

- rui: his ugly ass coat (fond) he wears as his first wxs costume. Also becoming potatoes cane handle thing. Him being a trick weapon (bloodborne term, essentially a weapon that can switch between two forms) also kind of lines up w him being a tech genius.

Ok done talking abt the designs onto the in universe stuff

- not basing any au story off the soul eater plot bc it didn’t work out very well (too many pjsk characters) (going with the main story wxs plot w a soul eater spin. Kinda. Gonna have to think abt that a bit.) but if I did mafuyu > crona, miku & the kagamines > dtk and the thompsons. Would that make cfm lord death. Emu would fill a similar role to maka with mafuyu in that situation but in general (besides the surface level similarities btwn tsukasa and black star) nene is too different from soul, emu is way too different from maka, and rui is literally NOTHING like tsubaki so I can’t justify just swapping out emunene/tsukasa with soul&maka/black star&tsubaki. No equivalent to that fucking cat in this universe. & the pjsk characters get to wear clothes when they’re in the weird place weapons’s bodies go when they’re transformed.

- idk maybe the regular soul eater plot is happening/will happen/has happened but this is the Japan branch (oceania branch in canon?).

- vocaloids are professors (not the kagamines. Forever babies.) but if there needs to be a lord death equivalent making that miku would be so funny. Also the normal vocaloid personalities and not the WXS ones for conveniences sake. Uhhh first thoughts for M/W would be meister miku, weapon meiko, meister kaito, luka can go either way tbh, kagamines are both weapons but are each other’s meister.

- similar to how rui did shows on his own for a really long time I think he was his own meister for a while (like Justin Law was). He doesn’t have many souls bc dwma in this universe at least pretends to give a fuck abt student safety so they don’t want to send him out alone on anything dangerous (despite his talent) and he can’t resonate soul wave lengths with most ppl bc they don’t get him. He ended up giving up on finding a meister when he was younger bc of this & just worked really hard on his own. He experiences a similar isolation from his peers that dtk did (ppl find him intimidating/envy at his skill/etc).

- equivalent of him transferring in to kamikou (? Spelling) second year is the kamishiros spending ~10 years in America. He’s still childhood friends w nene he just moved away after they drifted apart and then came back. Mizuki probably did something similar just 2 keep the mizuki & rui connection still there.

- tsukasa’s SE universe goal is to be the best meister - he wants to protect & help people (inspired by saki. I’ll get to that) but the equivalent of tsukasa forgetting he wanted to make ppl smile & believing he just wanted fame would be tsukasa believing he wants to be the best meister for fame/power.

- saki’s chronic illness is a result of black blood due to an incident w a kishin egg monster when she was younger. I think she would be a weapon but along with the canon typical chronic illness symptoms (not erasing those) she struggles for a long time w controlling her ability to change in and out of weapon form. Tsukasa & her *could* have been a m/w pair & have compatible soul wave lengths but 1) he’s overprotective and I think he realized he would not be able to fight without being too scared of getting her hurt 2) saki’s illness means she can’t really enroll in the dwma (yet. She gets there eventually.)

- nene was in the not classes before the plot picks up bc she didn’t think she had what it took to be a weapon. In universe equivalent to her forgetting her lines would maybe be freezing when she was supposed to transform during an important test when she was younger? Not baby age like in canon (bc I know the DWMA likes child soldiers but 7ish is a bit much even for them) but old enough to be taking classes & old enough to be put into not classes as a result. Im not reading SE NOT! to understand how those classes work though so thank god she gets out of those classes

- nene *is* a really powerful weapon she just lacks the confidence and struggles to resonate with people (& unlike rui she can’t wield herself)

- on that note emu can resonate with just about anyone but she hasn’t found anyone that felt right yet, and Tsukasa needs someone who can keep up w the intensity of his soul wave length and hasn’t found anyone who can do that yet.

- ^ similar to tsukasa being a piano prodigy or whatever in canon tsukasa *is* a really good meister, he just needs a really good weapon. Bc his peers would need more training to get to that level

- I toyed with making emu dtk adjacent (daughter of death) (bc PXL -> DWMA) but that would be too complicated with her brothers/dad/grandpa so I disregarded it. Maybe I’ll come back to it. I think it would make more sense for emu to come from a long line of really talented meisters so she grew up training for the job and running around the dwma.

- emu approaches tsukasa and is like we should work together!!! We’ll do better on missions and be able to take down harder kishin & maybe witches!! & he’s like sure why not every star needs a sidekick (obnoxious laugh) even though emu could kick his ass without breaking a sweat (in line with canon). & like the angel she is emu is like (ignores his pre main story dickheadedness) wonderhoy!! (Deathhoy?) okie dokie we need to find weapon partners then!! (bodily drags him to class)

- tsukasa sees rui training on his own and is like wow he’s really talented! Fitting for a future star like me! & approaches him to ask if they can pair up. Rui is like on the condition that you can find my friend a partner in your class (wants nene out of the not classes bc he thinks she’s far beyond that skill level). Emu jumps on the idea and is introduced to nene who is placed in the higher level courses to accommodate this partnership. Idc if that can’t happen in SE canon I think the Otoris have a lot of sway and any potential issues w nene being less powerful (not the case but it’s the assumption made abt not students) can be made up by emu’s skill.

- emu is instantly very taken with nene and they resonate well. I know what u are dot jpg. Rui & tsukasa can resonate but struggle to unlock their full potential (similar to soul and maka struggling with using the witch hunter form) bc tsukasa needs to realize what his real motivations are.

- tsukasa assumes nene has a low skill level at first (similar to his issues w nenerobo. God I wish I could think of a way to fit nenerobo in this au. sorry nenerobo) but is proven wrong when emu wields her.

- equivalent to the climax of the wxs main story in this is nene freezing again during an important mission and the group losing an important target -> tsukasa gets mad and yells at her -> rui fights w tsukasa over this and tells him that he’ll never be a good meister if he cares more about fame and power than people.

- tsukasa chats w the death scythe kaito & realizes the Error Of His Ways -> emu is considering dropping out bc she feels that she fucked up all of their futures as weapons/meisters by putting this into motion but tsukasa has the heart to heart with emu and they agree to continue being a team -> emu and nene partner back up -> they approach rui who has gone back to working solo and he refuses to partner back up w tsukasa

- idk what a good equivalent to the lonely alchemist show would be. Tsukasa and rui need to resonate & work together to help emunene because they’re in peril or something? & rui through the resonance realizes that tsukasa is genuine? Some sort of hand wavey plot device is used to resolve everything.

- I think that emu & rui and nene & tsukasa are also able to resonate and they do occasionally switch it up just for funsies. Emu and rui bc they just get along very well and nene & tsukasa argue with each other but can still function as a team.

- I don’t think that rui & nene can resonate because. Put down the pitchforks please. *Because* similar to their dynamic in pjsk despite their bond and their care for each other there’s a lot of baggage that needs to be worked through. Too many things left unsaid. Etc. they could probably achieve resonance later on but there’s not really a need to given that they’re both weapons and both have meisters.

- Rui thinks it’s a great training exercise to fight tsukasa “how do you expect to get better if you don’t try fighting against a weapon without a weapon… I’m just trying to help you… (fake crying)” “I’m already good at fighting without a weapon!! This is never going to be relevant knowledge anyways!!! You just want to fight me because you think it’s fun!!!!!!” “(switching manipulation tactics) Someone who wants to be a star would want to be prepared for any situation no matter how small the chance is of it happening” “hm…that’s true… ok let’s do it!!”

- cut to them in the nurses office. This is a weekly occurrence.

- emu also thinks it’s good practice to use tsukasa as moving target practice but this is less dangerous and more just continuing tsukasa’s never ending torment (he is a willing participant in said torment mind you)

- like in canon emu pulls nene out of her shell and hypes her up constantly which is huge in getting nene to have more confidence in herself and her abilities. It’s also incredibly helpful to have a meister who will never judge her for freezing and will always meet her halfway.

- also like in canon nene is very helpful with reeling emu in. She’s a very helpful voice of reason/impulse control but one that understands that even if emu’s ideas are unconventional they still have merit (even if they need to be refined a little)

- similar to the soul eater main cast having the self preservation skills of very small stupid suicidal animals hell bent on getting themselves injured or killed (Liz excluded), emu and Tsukasa are very prone to charging in to a situation w/out thinking. Tsukasa is more reasonable but unfortunately his weapon parter is not and rui usually cajoles tsukasa into doing stupid shit. Nene is suffering.

- maybe someday I’ll design rui & nene if I ever go back and refine these designs but I’m really lazy.

- not really sure how I would go around incorporating the wxs arcs into the soul eater universe with regards to PXL selling out and stuff. Making peace with the witches maybe? Something will probably come to me eventually.

- unlike atsushi ohkubo I’m not a terminally horny freak so there’s zero weird shit in this au.

- initial thoughts on the other units: minori(w)/haruka(weapon that chooses to be a meister) + airi(m)/shizuku(w), kohane(m)/an(w) + toya(weapon who was trained as a meister before deciding to be a weapon)/akito(m), mafuyu(m)/kanade(weapon… don’t make her exercise) + mizuki(w)/ena(m), leoneed swaps pairs frequently but shiho & izuka are meisters + saki and honami are weapons. Open to debate for most of these I haven’t given them much thought.

#asks #soul eater #project sekai #queueing this to not post at 4 am. #I’ll post the pics on their own on the art blog eventually. probably.

[catdemontraphouse]

Through having an autism moment for one of my favorite movies and its related medias (the current Beetlejuice fixation) I came to the following conclusions:

*Beetlejuice’s favorite color is probably red, which is probably a reference to the color of the star he’s named after

*Beetlejuice enjoys fashion and could even possibly be considered a designer (yes rly) Despite being a grungy character who’s known for being smelly and gross… he is a designer/seamstress with a vested interest in fashion???

Yes I’m going to explain in horrifically unnecessary detail. (It’s the autism) and yes this draws from all the juices but tbh any one of them would work as a stand-alone example (except maybe musicaljuice but he’s critical to the sewing part and also he’s the cute one)

————————-

The argument for Beetlejuice being an amateur designer:

There’s an interview somewhere with the costume designer for the musical that says they wanted the pinstripe black and white suit to look like it had been repaired and modified over the years, because since Beetlejuice was a loner, he’d been solely responsible for making and maintaining his wardrobe. So like, he sewed his own suit by his lonesome out of fabric of some sort. Because if it was magic why the hell would it need repairs? Which suggests at least to me that he *enjoys* making clothes because why go through all that work if you can materialize anything at will? And I mean it fits so, I’m sure it wasn’t his first ever pattern making and sewing experience.

There’s also the way toonjuice refers to his suit as having “never been washed” on numerous occasions so I don’t reckon it’s something he just makes from magic and poofs into nothingness on the fly? Though toonjuice could be argued to buy his clothing since they never stated he made it and he lives in some kinda monster city idk. I’m saying that suggests physical matter somehow not like, idk a temporary illusion? If you can wash it, it has some sort of mass to it right?

Listen, why the fuck a guy who can make his own patterns and sew an entire suit would not wash it is beyond me but okay. Anyways the point is there’s a suggestion being made here by the franchise that Beetlejuice makes his own clothing in the traditional way by sewing together some sort of permanent matter. I can’t say I get the same impression from moviejuice though. There’s not much to suggest his clothing isn’t just temporary magic bullshit, save for the visible decay… ok wait maybe it is made of permanent material. 🤷‍♀️ either that or the dust, tattering and moss is a fashion choice? 🤨🤨

Ok so for this next part let’s just like, put aside the weirdness going down with the wedding thing in the movie (btw I’ve seen it numerous times and I feel like it’s def “a green card thing” in the original as well, pay attention to the characters’ behaviors/interactions throughout the film with one another and u can see what I mean.)

Beetlejuice probably designed that red wedding dress right? Because he materialized it or pulled it out of thin air or whatever? And the matching red tux, same thing. I kinda think that was the fashionista in him taking the excuse to make dramatic evening wear lol. Using Lydia as a Bratz doll dressing her up in his designs smh

There’s also how jazzed up and amused he was by turning Otho into a walking fashion faux pas, or at least I have to assume that’s what he was doing when he ripped the guys outfit apart and replaced it with something that caused Otho to scream in terror. How tf does a smelly guy in a crypt know what’s considered a style no-no unless he’s into this shit lol

Oh and uh if you’ve ever seen the cartoon he dresses himself up in all sorts of little outfits on the fly, like very frequently. If nothing else he’s coming up with the concepts for these clothes, maybe not constructing them himself in every version of the franchise but he’s at least designing the outfits in all of them or so I assume. He also gives other characters makeovers or new outfits on various occasions. It seems for Beetlejuice, the living are like breathing Barbie dolls he sees no issue with dressing up in his latest creations.

I’ll now explain the “favorite color is red” thing:

*Beetlejuice doesn’t wear many outfits in the movie, but three out of the four I can remember had red in them. The aforementioned wedding outfits were primarily red. His shirt under the coat in the guide outfit is red. 🤷‍♀️ (Adams undershirt that he copies is red but I don’t rly think it counts) Whenever he’s seen wearing a saturated, non-neutral color, it’s red.

*didn’t he crash a little red car in the model at one point?… I just watched this movie again like last month and I forget already. That car in the photo, he crashed it into a fire hydrant earlier in the movie, didn’t he? Idk maybe not

*his tombstone has his name written on it in red

*toonjuice always has red nail polish 🤷‍♀️

*idk if this counts for anything but the nightclub Juno created to lure him away from the Maitlands was entirely red idk

*and the star Betelgeuse is a red supergiant, so yeah

Bonus entry is this guy a reference to Viy or am I overthinking it???

Yeah ok I’m def overthinking it. 🤦‍♀️

That’s all i have to say. All that crap above. Bye.

#long post #like rly long #I think tumblr auto (read more) these days but if not #plz tell me how to do that!!! #sorry #beetlejuice #betelgeuse #beetlejuice musical #toonjuice #bettyjuice

[squeiky]

Go tired of seeing "old hedgehog" designs of sonic and shadow with them just having greyed out quills and decided to do something about it

So yeah qpr sonadow (yeah shadow is 50+ fucking finally. Im considering giving him a cane. An asthetic or an actual one idk. Maybe both?)

Sonic grew his quills out (wanted a kind of longhair rockstar kinda hair thing idk if i achiebed i though. Also still unsure on what he'd wear so i just slapped on his sa2 beach costume and added sandals (and possibly socks).

(Oh and there a scar from the Mephiles blast on his stomach- as well as top surgery scars because of course he had top surgery its sonic)

(Oh and also the "old lady swagger" sonic is just him crossdessing/going lady mode because he always rocks the look )

Shadow styled/shortend his quills and i put him in a nice black collared sweater. He wears glasses because my guy has eye problems

(Btw. Im horrible at telling ppls ages so if they dont feel old then idk what to tell you guys i have no idea what aging is at this point)

Then, instead of simply making old yaoi i ended up getting obbessed (and happy) and started making everyone old

So next up was amy and Blaze. (Silver is here too)

I think theyre a little bit on the younger side of the old yaoi? I did consider the fact that some people age differently (some look older whilst others look younger) so Amy and Silver got the more "youthful-ish" complexion whilst Blaze and Espio got the more older one.

Thoughhh im still working on their design. I can always make older old lady Amy (now that i think about it i should 100% make Amy a granny looking buff woman because i feel like thats beautiful)

Either way amy and Blaze kept their uh.. "hair" short. Amy still wears supergirly clothes and Blaze wears more masculine type clothes nothing else.

Next is espilver

You cant sue me for making Silver a short king menace to society.

Not really much on design so far other than Silver is way more plump (pearshaped) now because life got better, and Espio is taller because what is he if not a tree?

Ask them how they met? It was at bowling. Why bowling? Its because thats less weird then "was investigating the multiple crimes husbando commited and ended up getting said yet-to-be husbando arrested, but after he got out we totally fucked"

Yeah

Oh, and because i couldnt choose, Espio is trans AND intersex! Yeah!

Also Amy is silvers ex (Silver has like.. 2 exes... Possibly more?)

And then theres everyone else who arent a "ship" persay:

So i call this the moreso young adult group with Tails, Charmy, Ray and Cream.

Tails (in college) and Charmy (not in college) obviously hang out and play videogames.

Cream, because when she was little she didnt get invited to fight deadlt monsters, grew up, and decided shes going to fight deadlt monsters. So i tried to make her a cool suit but idk.. it needs reworking cause the whole "secret agent" vibe works! But not the way i like.

Rouge is forever foxynand will continue to be the most attractive woman on planet earth no matter what age. Shes also still a meance to socitey and we will forever love the jewel thief (old) woman.

Knuckles doesnt cut his quills so those shits are LONG hes also old as well but idk what he'd wear

And yes Metal (also Chaos) is here too. Metal is a bit rusty (literally) but overall well kept and fancy. I think eggman would be dead by now, so i gave it a crown on its ears to symbolize how it took over i guess.

OKAY SHIPKIDS:

Blaze x Amy ( bio kid): Flare (was thinking "Spark" because of the love idea but idk yet)

Espio x Silver (bio-kid): Greybell

And then heres the fun part:

So Sonic and Shadow dont function like the others here, in that- while saving the world and whatnot, every so often they'd either find a kid following them (similarly to Amy and Tails back in the days) or save a kid during their whole adventure.

The first time this happened was just Luca (a black jaguar) who followed Sonic during one his little solo adventures and Sonic was like "do you have parents i can take u back too" and she was like "nah" so of course, after seriously looking for her parents through ppl with database accesses like tails and rouge, he was like "u wanna stay with me?" And Luca was like "YEAH!"

And then Sonic called Shadow like "Shadow do u want kids" and which he replied "what?" And then suddenly they adopted Luca. This is how it began.

Eventually, as one grew up, theyd find another, and then another and then well now they have like 11 kids in total.

Now, after ALL of this, they took a break and after that years worth of a break were like "wanna make a kid? Like for the challenge of having to that from scratch"

And sonic was like "what?"

So they hit up the labs and made a bio kid who is 2 months old and is the most hectic fucking thing theyve ever had to deal with so thanks for the prior 10 experinces (alas they do not compare to the mega menace)

#sonadow #espilver #blazamy #rouge the bat #knuckles the echidna #tails the fox #cream the rabbit #charmy the bee #should i even tag ray? i drew like half of his body #eh #ray the flying squirrel #SHIT I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT TO DRAW MIGHTY NOOOOOI #oldies au

[seerofmike]

mike 2023 year in review

whats up, this is something i started last year where i decided at the end of the year i would talk about 7 movies + 7 viddy games i enjoyed this year (the movies will be 2023 releases, the games will be all over the place). this is so i can look back on the future on the things i enjoyed this year but since im posting it publicly most of these will be written as recommendations i guess

also i did not have a lot of money to see movies this year so most of these will be IP movies :( sawi. also also 2023 was a mega good year for gaming. or so i've heard. most of the big 2023 games this year either came out on consoles i don't own (nintendo + sony releases), are next-gen only as far as xbox goes or unable to run on my dinky little laptop (AW2, the finals, re4, etc) or are just games in genres i dont really give a shit about (bg3, starfield, sea of stars). significant 2023 games i did play this year were dave the diver and dredge but not enough to be on the list. maybe next year hehe

anyways without further ado. my top 7 movies and top 7 games this year, in alternating (movie/game/move/game/etc) AND alphabetical order:

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

yeah you knew this shit was going on here. i saw this movie 8(eight) times in theaters. the first two times were because of the audio issues with the first cut but the rest was because the movie fucked babeeeeey. you don't need me to tell you how good this was

The Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood (2023)

ok listen before i recommend this game i have to be mean to make a point first. if you know anything about me you know i think tarot is stupid as fuck and i think witchy nonsense is. well. just that. nonsense. it makes me roll my eyes especially the particular brand of like. r/WitchesVersusPatriarchy stuff. man i just dont like any sort of spiritualism or religious stuff. with that being said this game fucks tremendously and i cannot recommend it enough

you get to design your own tarot deck and each card will be unique and have meanings based on the templates you're given. you can then use these cards to tell your friends' fortunes. except it goes way deeper than that but i dont want to spoil the twist for you. also it kind of becomes a different game midway through but i like management games so its fine. anyways good game and very repayable with all the card designs you can make and fortunes you can read. art style is also very nice.

(more under da cut)

Barbie

man i know a lot of people dont like this movie after the hype wore off because its Baby's First Feminism. and that's fine. i don't really think it was trying to achieve some uber deep commentary. but the set design and costuming was great and you could tell the actors and crew were having so much fucking fun and as someone who wants to go into movies i will always like movies where the people making them are having fun.

The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog (2023)

i like the visual novel where everyone dresses in a funny costume and sonic fucking dies ok. it was so cute and had very good characterization for people i didnt think would ever be in the focus of a game again like espio ........go play the murder of sonic thee hedge

Bottoms

this one is probably my 2nd favorite movie of the year tbh. i need more absurdist gay comedies. i wish i could go on about how hilarious this movie is but i dont wanna give away all jokes but anyways go watch the lesbian incel movie and have a good time

Potionomics (2022)

if i had a nickel for every gay witch game i played this year with significant card and management mechanics and appealing art i'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.

anyways potionomics is absolutely my favorite game that i've played this year. it's not all that similar to cosmic wheel sisterhood despite the basic concept and some gameplay elements. CWS is more like a visual novel. potionomics is a fucking nightmare and i love it SO much.

you brew potions and then sell them by haggling with customers using cards. customers can haggle back and it can get VERY difficult. everything you do takes up limited time slots such as gathering ingredients and brewing potions and visiting your friends and btw you can visit your friends and all of the characters are incredibly charming and i had trouble picking which one to romance. (roxanne my beloved <3) (also the white haired character in the screenshot above is a nonbinary goblin :) ) (this game has CAT PIRATES)

the game also rewards you with befriending the characters and gives you cards the deeper your relationships become and new gameplay mechanics open themselves up to you until the last couple stretches of the game. it's very fun, very stressful, but very rewarding once you figure out how to maximize your profits and use up your time slots effectively. i had a fucking blast.

also the animation is so good. literally the best animation on this sort of stylized 3d model in a game i've ever seen. PLEASE play potionomics.

Guardians of the Galaxy 3

god man. i just love the guardians so much. tbh this is my least favorite movie of the trilogy but all three of them are easily better than nearly every other marvel movie regardless. i love nebula and rocket so much and seeing small moments between them like her choking up when she hears he's okay fucking Gets To Me. i loved me asshole mercenaries who become a found family and try to be good people.

Prey (2017)

prey is not my favorite game this year nor my favorite survival sim but the first five or so hours of this game were the most engrossed i was in a game this year. towards the middle and ending portions it starts to lose me a little bit (the game is still good!) but the beginning was absolutely the best part.

being trapped in space with aliens that can mimic items in your surroundings leaves you extremely paranoid, and combing through the station finding recordings and notes and evidence of the lives of the people who were once there, knowing that most of them are probably dead--while monsters lurk around the corner ready to fuck your shit up--was deeply engrossing. i wish i could erase my brain and experience those first hours again being terrified of everything that moved before i got a shotgun and figured out how to win fights pretty regularly lol

Killers of the Flower Moon

if you're gonna watch a 3 hour movie this year about atrocities committed in the past i'd recommend this one over The Other One tbh. i found it deeply engaging and thought lily gladstone gave a great performance that easily outshone leo. the events of the movie are deeply harrowing and i think there is definitely some discussion to be had about how the movie centers on the white men despite scorses's intentions but the technical work was great and i think it really does a good job of showing just how deep this shit went in the community as opposed to being 'just a couple of bad whites' or w/e other narrative people will try to spin.

Psycholonials (2021)

im gonna go ahead and say right now i don't really recommend this game unless you are familiar with andrew hussie and HS/their other work. i think the game was fine but tbh it probably would not have been on my list if it was made by anyone else. that's not to say it's bad, just like. nothing mind blowing.

that being said i did very much enjoy this game in the sense that, as someone who DOES know a thing or two about andrew hussie, the way they feel about their work (especially HS in the years afterward), it was interesting seeing them make a game about starting a cult by accident, with all the gender fuckery and feelings of paranoia about being cancelled and how out of control its become feeling like a little glimpse into them. watching how manic and obsessive the protag gets with several years of Hussie Context(tm) makes this way more interesting than the game itself if im being fully honest.

if the game truly sucked it wouldn't be on here but do take my word for it that you'd probably appreciate it way more if you were a HS fan LMAO

Skinamarink (2022)

ok so technically skinamarink came out in 2022 BUT it got a theatrical release in january 2023 which is when *i* saw it so i'm counting it as a 2023 movie. anyways skinamarink is simultaneously very scary and also boring as shit and i could never actually recommend this movie to anyone but the fact that it was made at all and made a PROFIT is outstanding to me and i'm obsessed with it as an aspiring filmmaker. an hour and fourty minutes of staring at a dark corner to build atmosphere. fuck yeah

Venba (2023)

this one's very short but i found it very compelling despite how short it was. it almost felt TOO short but i like it for what it is. as the son (and grandson) of mexican immigrants who often regretted migrating for cultural and language reasons this really connected with me and the cooking puzzles were fun but i really wisht here was more of them. it's less about the puzzles though and more about the narrative and i thought it was really smart to make the throughline food. very good game. buy it.

TMNT: Mutant Mayhem

look at my fucking sons. everyone say thank you spider verse for changing the animation industry. i love how the boys' VAs were just goofing off and having fun and bouncing off each other it was great

This War of Mine (2014)

this one is a survival management game where you have to scavenge for materials somewhere in war-torn eastern europe with some stealth mechanics. some of your characters die very easy and some characters have 'negative' traits like being unable to sneak out or fight or drink up all your alcohol and it's not like the best in its genre but i did spend a ton of time in it. i still need to finish like a single scenario and not a custom game LMAO

#mike 2023 in review

[youleavethetardisbrakeson]

There’s a clip somewhere on Twitter of a HOTD designer describing the process of creating Rhaenys’ armor. Within that clip, there’s a snippet of Eve saying that she’s been told “it looks amazing, but it’s really uncomfortable.” This further proves my own personal headcanon that Rhaenys rejects any form of corsetry. If you watch back to literally ANY of her scenes, and look closely, you can tell that there is no structural support to her torso (this is made even more apparent in her scene with Rhaenyra in episode two).

And I would hate for this to turn into a whole “fuck the patriarchy” thing that Rhaenys pulls (because apparently corsets represent the oppressiveness of male absolutism… they do not). I just think that Rhaenys forgoing a corset makes sense for her because she’s a feral dragon lady who wants to run around in knee high boots and tunics three and a half sizes too big for her.

It’s like when Maggie Smith was allowed to go without a corset during Downton Abbey because she promised to “sit very straight.”

Apologies for the lengthy message, I thought you would find it interesting considering the several costume analysis posts on your dash. <3

Ooh yes its from the BTS featurette "The House That Dragons Built." And yes the entire concept of women's undergarments on these GoT shows fascinates me to no end.

I should mention that I know there are dozens of forms of bodices, stays, jumps, corsets etc and most of them are actually quite comfortable and not at all the stereotype of the extreme waist cinching 'I can't breathe' ones found in a lot of movies. This is gonna be more of a 'study in shapes' than anything technical lol.

You can certainly see in this picture below that Rhaenys isn't wearing what we traditonally call a 'corset' (ie, something that creates a full-abdomen structured, cinched look with a V silhouette). Her bust is clearly defined/rounded and there's a distinct fold in her stomach. As someone who has experience wearing corsetry, that is NOT what a full 'corset' looks like, nor how you sit in them.

In contrast, look at Rhaenyra's dress from epiosde 8. It's much stiffer and structured in the bust (and yes women would traditonally wear corsetry while pregnant, it was perfectly normal and safe).

Eve Best mentioned in her interview with EW's West of Westeros podcast that she actually had a hand in designing her armor. They had initially designed a neck guard and she asked for it to be removed because she knew she was going to need to move and be flexible up on the dragon. I also assume it's a similar reason why they didn't give her any clunky full-armored sleeves. Her dresses in general also seem to follow this idea: they all have a very simple silhouette with no fussy sleeves or impractical style choices. So yes Rhaenys (and Eve) 100% loveeee comfort and to be able to run around being feral; I fully agree.

And I have wondered if Rhaenys is not wearing a 'corset', then what is she meant to be wearing? Based on my rudimentary knowledge of historical fashion, the medieval period is kinda weird in that we don't actually know what they wore as underwear? The GoT show styles are subsequently all over the place (there's so much reddit discourse on this, so I won't repeat it here). My best guess is that she may be wearing some kind of underbust short stays similar to the those of the Regency era. (And again, historical fashion people please forgive me.)

This kind of garment would provide bust support to create that more rounded look, plus allow mobility of the abdomen. You also traditonally wear a chemise under corsetry (you do NOT want hard boning flush against your skin, it chafes soooo much) so that fabric layer itself would also provide some structure to the bust.

If anyone has a better idea, please let me know!

#ask #headcanons #caroline rants about film analysis #and costumes i suppose rofl #rhaenys targaryen #eve best #hotd #house of the dragon

[hoardlikegoldenirises]

He's a biter, you know.

details and un-shaded version (and also lineart version) under the cut:

I meant to draw this for peterfel week and made the sketch in like, literally February but didn't get around to finally finishing it until now… lol… well it's done now!!!

i dunno if i love how the dark shaded version turned out...

These are my base colors, but I guess I just felt like spending a couple hours with color overlays and fucking around to make the final moody blue version lol

as an aside the bokeh is a brush by Bunabi/Eriart which you can find as a freebie on her patreon - i saw it and was like omg wait i could use that

...the buildings are also brushes (well the windows are)

anyway here's the lineart

I also used a chain brush of course cause I ain't fuckin drawin all of that lmao —I used a brush from this set, they're pretty nice

😻 there she is oh i also used a diamond stamp 😂 the lesson to learn about me is if i can use a brush for something that would otherwise be tedious and it looks decent i will because i am lazy. unless i only have like a Single instance then I'll usually just draw it but when I have more than one it's either brushes or copy pasting lol

Felicia's outfit is a mix of sources, inspired by both her original costume, with the furry chest (in this case unzippable) as well as obviously more modern sexy latex outfits and so on... but i did NOT give her cleavage to her bellybutton cause I think that's dumb. though. to be fair in this case it would be more justifiable 😂

i love drawing her long long hair (angel medina's fault tbh) (sensational spider-man my beloved...)

rawr 😼

he's trying very hard not to laugh 😂 but he's into it, he's having fun

the muzzle ended up being like multiple designs from photo refs mashed into one so idk... how realistic it is other than the nose-forehead piece which was the same on both my refs. admittedly it looks a little loose but 🤷 still looks nice 😏

claws 😏

I also drew Peter in the classic suit, which I don't normally do, but I was doing more of the comic book look here instead of my own AUs and so on lol

he broke the cuffs so he could touch her butt 🙄 god peter don't you know how much real leather BDSM gear costs (don't tell him)

this new pen tablet is a lot of fun, it's way more comfortable to draw on and the increased pressure sensitivity makes it a lot easier to draw my favorite thing to draw: peter's arm hair 😂😂

the only weird thing is if I press down medium or harder while I'm drawing it... creaks? which is very funny, my old pen did not do that. it really is weirdly like using a felt tip pen or a very fine point marker. except it's plastic.

shoes. it may be classic style but I can never resist giving Peter sporty soles lol I know some people hate that but I just think it looks nice and I can handwave the sticking away as electrostatic forces or something. negative charge. electron transfer. blah blah blah. (in my AU i decided Peter has both electrostatic sticking that encompasses his whole body and ALSO adhesive secretions so if he gets his hands and feet bare i guess he has double the sticking power lol)

shaded versions just cause

tits

i really like drawing latex lol

also if you're wondering why i didn't give peter a boner to match his red face well i have an out and it's that long ago i decided he wears a dance belt under the costume so as not to inflict the outline of his dick and balls on the people of NYC on a daily basis, and dance belts are first of all designed as mentioned to smooth out and hide that outline but also you wear them with everything pointing north and the waistband is like 5 inches wide so i don't think he has to worry about his little buddy escaping LOL (though I'm sure it's possible it would be more visible... i didn't bother trying to google it lol)

really i just didn't feel like trying to draw a boner 😂

#peterfel #felicia hardy #black cat #peter parker #spiderman #spider-man #nadiart #fanadiart #shiny art

[blubushie]

Opinions of furries?

From being a furry for decades, i can give you bit of information on it all in case you dont know. There is different "catogries" of furries. I can say that there is a hypothetical graphic that all furry charracters can stumble on.

The x axis would be the level of anthropomorphisation. the extremes going: (-100) Human (fully human. No anthropormorphisation whatsoever), (0) Anthro (the blend between feral and human. Characters tend to walk on two legs, skeletons and anatomy are usually changed, etc,), (100) Feral (Literally an animal).

The y axis is the aesthetic style your character is intended to be in: (-100) Toony (Stylized in a way that is very cartoonish. Big expressive eyes, distinct character design, etc,) (100) Feral (Literally an animal).

The z axis is the intelligence/sentience your character have: (-100) Human (fully capable of all of the abstract human thought and intelligence and critical thinking), (100) Feral (Literally an animal. Usually aligned with the level of intelligence/behaviour the species of the character.).

A character that is (0, 0, 0) Is i would say your average furry.

A character that is (100, 100, 100) would be a straight up animal. a whole ass animal with no unrealistic characteristics or behaviors. like a frog or something.

A character that is (-100, -100, -100) It is just a human person that is stylized in a cartoony way.

Most furries have fursona characters that are only existing in artistic form. Like drawing on a computer or a paper sheet. Most do not own fursuit costumes.

I am wanted to know curiously what you think about the furries. Where do you draw line? Do you not like things certain?

good day for you, i hope

excuse myself for the not so good wording english is not my first language

Mate I've spent the past 15 minutes or so staring at this and trying to puzzle out how to respond to furry algebra in my fucking inbox.

Funny answer: If you've got a hide to peel and look like an animal then I'm hunting you like an animal. Smart as people makes the job fun. Rare, unique, artistic? Sounds like it'd be nice trophy over my mantle. I'm sharpening my skinning knives and you should start running.

Real answer: Iunno, mate, furries make me really bloody uncomfortable. Even a human body with animal ears and tail kinda toe the line for me. It crosses wires in my brain that don't jive well. When I was younger I liked the art of, er, anthro wolves and shit (think Native American-esque themes, with natural colours, not sparkledog stuff) because I thought it looked cool but the community's always kinda given me a weird vibe and whatever interest I mighta had completely detached with the whole Kero situation in addition to having some... unpleasant interactions with people in the community. I want nothing to do with the community at all at this point, not even the art. Gives me the creeps, especially the more sexual aspect.

If you're a furry you can still interact of course, I just... don't wanna be sent furry stuff. Makes me uncomfortable. One of the few tags I've got blacklisted here.

#blu whos

[yes-divine-ruler]

Hi there 🖤 I just recently followed your blog and it's been an absolute delight, I love how much work you put into this community <3 Thank you, you're awesome!

I'm not sure if the ship requests are still open, but I'll just give it a try. If it's been too many already I absolutely get it c: here goes:

I'm a 26yo woman, long silver hair with bangs, greyish-blue eyes, pale, 5'6", I'm also an INFP. I'd describe my clothing style as gothy, dark and grungy (lot's of Killstar, Combat boots, comfy knitwear, plaits, long jackets/coats etc). My body type is slim, but very feminine. I'm a huge geek, I love movies and TV-Shows, gaming, cosplaying and daydreaming about it, it's my life fuel! I'm also very active, I work out regularly, love going for hikes especially in forests. I'm a highly creative and imaginative person and spend my days crafting, drawing, painting and sewing, I'm training to be a costume/stage designer for theater and film (I also love writing and used to study philosophy and literature for 3 years but didn't get a degree).

I'm an introvert and struggled with anxiety all my life. My alone time is very important, but my few very good friends mean the world to me and I cannot live without them. I'd say that I'm a good listener, tho I also talk and overshare a lot. I'm very much nonconfrontational and love to keep things calm and peaceful, but I got strong opinions and always speak my mind when I feel like I need to. My friendliness sometimes gets me into trouble bc it's so hard for me to be assertive and say no to things x_x I love people who make me feel safe and protected and encourage me to get out of my comfort zone <3

Man I hope this wasn't too long, I never know when to stop :'I if you read all this you're a real champ

(Begrudgingly ;) ) I ship you w/ Kai

I think the fact that you’re non confrontational can be a bit of a downfall to your relationship (because Kai may step all over you like a door mat) until you finally open up about the strong opinions you have and speak your mind. I think Kai would listen to you, because he’d really love you and respect you.

Kai is definitely someone to look out for someone who’s loyal to him, and will do everything in his power to reward you and make you feel safe.

He’s a gym guy, and I think a date for you guys could be going to the gym and going a work out (I’m thinking of my mini series now Lol BYE🤣).

He’d dig your style so much and I reckon he’d even let you match at times because he’s a slut for combat boots.

Kai’s definitely a geek too, so I think you’d share all those really niche things you enjoy together, and you wouldn’t feel weird or different for liking them.

And costume designer I mean COME ON you’re designated to mask designing for the cult (fuck off Ivy).

[gaykarstaagforever]

I watched Don't Worry, Darling, in one sitting even!, so I get my adult points for the week.

Ha, more like Fucking Straight People, Am I Right? The Movie. Sheesh.

Minor spoilers, I guess. But I think they gave away the ending in the lead up to this so I can't imagine most people don't know the basic premise at this point.

I mean, okay, it is an alright movie. Solid B, even B+. Well shot, generally well directed besides a few too many musical montages / interludes, because clearly that is easier than clunky dialogue and we have to choose between the two, right? Could be more of a stylistic choice, feels kind of amateur, but it's not terrible by any means. Beautifully shot movie, too, with really good design and costume work. The performances are all good, even Harry Styles, though everyone else is acting circles around him. He may have been miscast, because when he gets angry he is like 30 going on 19. Then again, given the story, maybe that's what they were going for?

That in general is one of the problems with this movie: I can't tell if awkward things are the result of wonky film-making or were intentional choices to serve the allegory. Because it is certainly an allegory, and a rather heavy-handed one, and any attempt to dig in to the rules of this universe immediately makes it crumble. As an allegory that is okay. As anything else it isn't. If you can accept the allegory, that won't bother you. If you can't, then it will. I went back and forth with it. I think overall it is okay as an allegory, but I certainly didn't stop having questions I knew the movie was never going to answer.

Now for the whole Straight People: The Movie joke. I am fairly confident I understand what point the allegory was trying to make, and I find that point rather icky. It seems to be saying that often,(straight, white, upper-middle-class) women are put-upon in their relationships, abusively so, by (straight, white, upper-middle-class) men who are basically selfish man-babies. Or at least, that can often happen, and that is bad. And yes, it is, and no, this isn't the icky part. The icky part is how the movie's commentary on that, through the behavior of Florence Pugh, is that, isn't that so sad?, because we girls just can't help but love 'em, if only they could be nicer to us, then everything could be wonderful! Can't live with them, can't live without them, am I right, ladies? Gotta have those manly snuggles and stereotypical date nights before babies are made with sex, after all, and isn't it a shame how we often must sacrifice so much dignity for hot guy kisses?

Look. I'm not a straight, or a straight woman. I don't labor under the unfortunate necessity of traditional gender stereotypes being glued to my sexuality, therefore making them an obnoxiously vital component of my relationships. I don't know and can't know how complicated and difficult navigating all that is. But the conclusion this movie seems to draw about it seems regressive and creepy. Men shouldn't be abusing women, and women shouldn't be forced to put up with that. All that happens and people get stuck. But sitting, if not comfortably in that, at least rather passively in that? Rubs me very much the wrong way.

I get that it is hard when you love someone who is taking advantage of you, and maybe "taking advantage of" is exactly how traditional straight relationship dynamics work a lot of the time. Maybe to be a straight woman dating a straight man means inherently that he is pulling shit on you and you have to just get over it. But that doesn't sound like "love" to me, or something anyone should be okay with. And to then say, "Well, the solution is, boys, just be nicer to the women who are willing to submit to your childish dickhead behavior..." No. That's weird.

Maybe I am misinterpreting this. But the movie spends far more time giving us the male perspective of this bizarre thing they are doing to women then it does the perspectives of the women trapped in it. It is almost like we are supposed to reflect deeply on the sad masculine brattiness that caused this whole mess to happen, as if that in and of itself is the "problem" the movie is concerned with. And it shouldn't be, because, again, the women here are the victims of this garbage, and shouldn't be obligated to understand or deal with how their husbands are mopey about who makes more money in the relationship. But that is exactly the arc Pugh's character goes through. And while she eventually murders her abusive husband and flees the situation, that doesn't feel like a resolution to any problem, other than her immediate one of wanting to be free from what amounts to slavery. She still loves her husband. The way he dies implies to me that the movie thinks that he is in fact A VICTIM of what is going on here, when...fuck you, movie. This shitty little weasel is a r*pist, at least. What an icky conclusion.

Maybe something was lost in editing that would have painted things differently. The suddenly heel-turn of a side-character at the end, like she was secretly the REAL villain the entire time, makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, like it was the resolution to an entire subplot they forgot they cut out. If they had left it in, maybe there would be a wider implication of how this system of abuse works in this world, like it is being used exclusively by men on women now, but that is just a test, there are plans to go bigger, etc. But none of that was in the movie, so...?

It is certainly a better movie than I was expecting. And while I still think no one will remember it in a year, and I have no reason to ever rewatch it, I think it is worth seeing. Especially if you're younger than me, and straighter than me. Maybe it will say something to you you might find profound or useful. Didn't really do it for me, but I appreciate that there was an attempt at something. I don't have to agree with a movie's perspective to appreciate that it has one and gets it across well enough.

Oh and yes, it is weird how Harry Styles and Florence Pugh keep doing heavy make-out stuff and one actual (very tame) sex scene, to the point that it gets uncomfortable for the audience. Director Olivia Wilde has gotten crap for that, like she only put it in because she was getting off to watching her then-boyfriend Styles fondle another woman. And maybe she was, I have no idea. But in the movie, these scenes are clearly SUPPOSED TO BE CREEPY. They are supposed to make us uncomfortable. By the end of the movie, we understand that all the sex going on here has been abusive the entire time. That is implied earlier, as it is going on, by being shot too intimately, with ominous sound and weird lighting. That was an intentional thing, at least.

#don't worry darling #olivia wilde #harry styles #florence pugh #movie review

[strewbi]

just found out that there’s gonna be a sexy cw live action sabrina-esque Winx Club netflix series and the trailer flayed all the skin off my body 

#its not about the moody magic school #it's mildly about the powers #what it is ABOUT #is THE FITS #THE FUCKING LOOKS #THE MAGICAL GIRL POWER CUT SCENES #and this show has none of that #it's just girls in the woods doing elemental magic with a witcher-like boys school next door and i'm like #where's the glitter? where's the camp? where's the drag of it all? #WHERE ARE THE HOT WITCHES???? #wait a minute were musa and techna in that trailer #straight aside from how white it looks #wow musa's white and there's no techna #techna had such a fucking look #if they were going to do this nonsense to any early 2000s girls cartoon magical girl show it should have been W.I.T.C.H. #the lisa frank aurora boreal spray is key to winx #this is hurtful #i'm done with edgy live action reboots #give me too much color #give me a weird fucked up style and costume design #swing big #that's what this is missing a big fucking campy swing

[absintheancandle]

takes your gacha game sexymen and doesnt even realize theyre sexymen until its too late. like unironically i dont interact with fandom that much so i kinda just went 👀 and then i go on tumblr and go. ah. so they’re sexymen. that would make sense. not negatively tho. i still like em :)

yeah though heres some characterization ideas for my own personal use or somethin. au where i ignore how the games work and also they all survived and met up later for whatever reason. like a post-game au. or maybe no-game au? i havent thought aboutt it much yet.

these aren’t really supposed to be redesigns and moreso just. like. afterwards???? change up their looks a little to different amounts :)

more info under the cut + joseph’s design too that didnt really fit with the main post

okay sorry i don’t have much information that’s coherent but heres a lot of messy info dumping hehe i do personally think that aesol and andrew probably end up owning and working at a funeral home-type thing together. someone else has probably had this idea but i wouldn’t know. i think it’s cute either way.   aesol and edgars relationship is they’d fight each other in an alleyway at midnight and then go out and get 1900s mcdonalds afterwards.   luca actively collects people around him for fun i think. luca and edgar DO love each other but i honestly think edgar has difficulty properly attaching to people and having his feelings towards others actually consistent.   luca’s changed a lot mostly off of vibes. like i think he would’ve went yknow what this prison shirt actually kinda fucks. and just ends up looking like a guy that doesn’t 100% belong in his era but he literally has the same clothes that would be available at the time? not sure what to say there. ALSO i made his braces look a bit more like braces i think. looking at vintage leg braces is very fun :)!   andrew’s is mostly the same except more pink-based because it fits better i think?? instead of a purple flower he just gets to have flower patterning on his coat. also his coat is actually worn open now   aesol’s outfit is honestly inspired by his trickster costume only because like. jackets worn as capes FUCK like all hell dude come ON don’t even lie about that. also more flower patterning bc hehe yellow roses :) andrew and him are supposed to somewhat match edgar and victor have barely changed but i like the small changes i made :)   ALSO JOSEPH IS THERE . i didnt put him on the lineup bc the art style didn’t match 100% and made it look weird but here:  

giving joseph more updated clothing too? i might end up changing it more later on but. im obsessed with the idea of people from The Past getting accustomed to “modern day” (even if that modern day is. 1900). THINKS ABOUT HOW DELIGHTED HE’D BE TO SEE 1900S-MODERN CAMERA TECHNOLOGY. take your local 1830s weirdly tall debatably immortal man with no social skills clothes shopping! this will not go bad.

au where your guys weren’t in their proper dedicated games, all survived, and also decided to steal a hunter along the way. he is mildly disgruntled and upset about it but one (1) guy showed him a little bit of kindness (sat next to him and said nothing) and he went. i am following you now, actually. and aesols like. okay. sure i guess. everyone else is like WHY . WHERE DID YOU FIND HIM WAIT. WHY IS HE HERE   WH.    WHY

i don’t think it’d be like a “ohhh redemption he’s a soft guy now” because honestly like except for victor and somewhat luca, all these people are incredibly fucked up. why would He become more ~nice~ or whatever. theyre all just like “okay dont trap ME in a photograph and we’ll be fine.” and he’s like. fucking whatever. killjoy. what if you LIKED being in the photograph, huh? what then? bitch. except said in fancy 1830s words. mm also im making them all lgbt. bites you

(edit: apparently you cannot click to see a bigger version of this image. I DONT KNOW WHY?? i’ll probably post it individually later) victor: transmasc, gay, asexual (sex favourable) luca: polyam, omniro/sexual (masc-leaning) andrew: polyam, bi(?), aceflux, greyromantic. however i think these might change im not 100% sure on them mostly because like. he’s got issues that results in him just. Not Knowing Much. simply never thought about it aesol: polyam, nonbinary, transmasc, bi, asexual (sex neutral). edgar: transmasc, gay joseph is transmasc but i think it’s in a way where he simply never thought about it. like hes from the 1830s or something like. there was no Trans there was just simply going yknow what. actually. call me something else or i will Kill you because i have a sickass sword and am also part of nobility. like him and his twin are both trans and it was literally just like “you can’t do that, what about your image as nobility!” “okay but what about this sword i could stab you with.” also he’s definitely mlm but what kind? guess we’ll never know. that’s okay. he has a sword also giving andrew elhers danlos syndrome. he uses his shovel as a mobility aid sometimes without really realizing that’s what it is. he just leans on it a lot bc it makes him hurt less. they’re all mentally ill in different ways and some physically disabled and i love it!!

#idv art #identity v #victor grantz #luca balsa #andrew kreiss #aesop carl #edgar valden #joseph desaulniers #digital art #fanart #my art #idk i think edgar has npd. it just fits to me (<- has npd). #maybe i'll talk about him having it in the future #IDK I HAD A LOT MORE tags before but then it just KILLED my post so now i dont have it. #idk be prepared for me to eedit this like 10 times after posting it #idv embalmer #idv painter #idv prisoner #idv grave keeper #idv photographer #idv postman

[13atoms]

Deep Focus: Chapter 1 [Tom Hiddleston x Reader]

Summary: Tom’s a successful porn director with a romantic streak which proves very popular with his female audience. His resident porn actress and business partner has been with him through thick and thin, the two of them growing completely inseparable, even as her own career starts taking off.

But working in such close proximity is intense, and burgeoning feelings threaten to complicate their professional relationship.

Mature, smut, porn director!AU, ethical porn production discussion, porn-star-and-coworker!reader. Friends to lovers, slow-ish burn. [7.7k]

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There was such a style to everything Tom wrote, everything he directed. A sincere passion that you suspected was always meant to be used elsewhere. You wondered if his craftsmanship was ever appreciated, on the other side of the screen, as strangers got hot and bothered watching each meticulously designed frame of his vision come to life.

Sure, it was porn. But Tom directed it like he could win an Oscar for ‘hot lifeguard pounded poolside’. This was his livelihood, his passion, and it was a damn shame he wasn’t award-season eligible.

The names would make you wince, as you saw them uploaded to the site, thumbnails and previews drawing in viewers by the million with their shots of heaving bodies and glistening sweat. Tom never called the videos such crass things. Not in his scripts. You would get copies titled ‘Romantic Night In’ or ‘Office Love Affair.’ He was a fan of sugar-coating what would be inside those innocuous white pages, a veneer of respectability which Tom insisted upon, regardless of how obvious the true nature of the videos was. But once the videos were sold, it was out of his hands. Your face contorted mid-faux-orgasm would be plastered across the site, and everyone involved would try and forget what happened.

Ignore the comments.

Keep moving.

You often wondered how Tom wound up in this place, with his sharply tailored suits and polished shoes, eloquent and educated, his words almost poetic as he directed mid-budget porn in hotel rooms and his studio day-in, day-out.

Then again, he never seemed particularly bothered by it. He gave each shoot his full attention, his full boundless enthusiasm and all the professionalism he could muster. You wondered how he balanced it, sometimes, the creative drive to press on with trying to be creative and shoehorn romance into films knowing that, ultimately, it was porn.

He had interviewed you like a real director might, talking about your life and experience and ambitions, almost apologetic when he had finally choked out ‘could you undress’, barely glancing at your naked form before he hired you as his first employee.

You asked him early on, while watching him try and assemble a fake restaurant-date set in the studio, complete with faux windows and an extra playing a waiter, why he bothered when three-minutes of good quality fucking footage would make him the same amount of money. He’d given you a strange smile, the wrinkles beginning to appear at the corners of his eyes, and shrugged.

“I make what I’d like to see.”

The words haunted you later, as your rather attractive co-star bent you over the white-cloth covered dining table and you allowed mewls and groans to escape your mouth without a second thought. Trying to avoid the muted blue of Tom’s eyes behind the cameraman.

Despite your reservations when you first started to work for him, Tom had won you over. His gentler, more romantic approach to pornography had a loyal following. Both of your pseudonyms garnered huge numbers of views across various platforms, and Tom was keen to cultivate a collection of female-friendly porn. Against all the odds, it was working.

And you loved working with him. He was a great director, and inspired writer, and a genuinely brilliant boss. He made sure you saw royalties, good pay, that everyone you worked with was screened and tested, always keeping you safe. Always.

Each time he called a wrap, passing you a robe and offering a meek congratulations on your performance, you found yourself more and more pleased you had wound up working with him.

“You really do have a talent,” he’d told you one day, distracting you as you discussed a new script in his office.

You were sat opposite him, Tom’s glasses perched on his head as he watched you read, your feet resting against the leg of his desk. You’d come in to your shared workspace to try some costumes out, to discuss new scenes, still recovering from a thoroughly exhausting shoot the day before. There were still light bruises around your wrists, and you caught Tom glancing at them worriedly each time your long-sleeved shirt slipped.

“I love that you’re such an actor,” he continued, hands tapping the desk as he spoke, “like, a real actor.”

Your eyes drifted across the script, scanning it with your bottom lip between your teeth. He always appreciated your input, wanting the ‘female fantasy’ in a lot of his work, and he’d timidly shown you some ‘student-professor’ script he’d been working on. He was like that, embarrassed in a way which you wouldn’t expect from a man with his considerable experience in adult entertainment. He was assertive, certain, even stern where it counted. But with just the two of you together, dancing around what was sexy and what wasn’t, he seemed desperate to avoid saying anything you might perceive as too ‘crude’.

“What do you mean?” you’d chuckled, still flicking through the first draft.

He only entrusted you with such early versions of his work – but that made sense. Your careers were symbiotic, tied to one another with an unspoken pact. He directed everything you were in, and you were in everything he directed.

It made sense.

“You don’t just… I don’t know. You never make my scripts seem silly. Or cheesy. You… you really try and make them feel real. I could write anything, and you’ll deliver the lines well. I was overseeing auditions earlier and... I just kept thinking none of them were you. I think you might be the best in the business.”

You rolled your eyes, offering him a disbelieving smirk, and he scoffed.

“I’m serious! I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

The weight of his words settled heavy in your chest, and you turned back to the script, frowning as you flicked through the loose-leaf pages. Tom fidgeted behind his desk, unhappy with losing your attention, but you ignored him.

“Here. If you want the fantasy to be believable, I think he needs to lock the office door. Make a show of it, you know. Cover my mouth,” you comment dismissively. Tom already has as pen in his hand, making notes. “It could be hot, maybe ‘Don’t make a sound or you can’t cum’, something like that. As if there’s other students in the corridor outside.”

Nodding, Tom dutifully wrote down your words, mouth slightly open in realisation as he listened.

“Don’t make a sound…” Tom repeated, and you felt yourself blush.

“Not… not that exactly,” you backtracked, “you’re the real writer! I just think, there needs to be some build up. A remind of the power dynamic. Him going straight to oral is a bit… fast. That could happen in any old plot, you know?”

You felt his eyes on you, looking up from the paper to spot Tom leaning back in his chair, a distant smile on his face.

“You really are the best,” he praised, “that’s great. I’ll do rewrites tonight.”

For a moment, you let his words hang heavy in the air. Then you blinked back at him, a slight frown pinching your forehead at his strange mood. He was calm, for once. Tom was usually a ball of enthusiasm, and you wondered if your dismissal of his words earlier had done something to hamper his spirit.

“It’s always easier to critique,” you dismissed, “I love the script, it’s great. I really think it’ll be good. Hot. Maybe I can wear a Britneyschool girl costume, or something?”

He frowned a little, pinching the bridge of his nose at the thought.

“No, weird. We’re going for University student, just… a nice pair of jeans or something.”

“Don’t they wear suits where you went, posh boy?” you teased, loving how it riled him up. “I’ll try and dress like a smart person.”

“You are smart, don’t give me that.”

You rolled your eyes, loving how you managed to fluster him, putting the script back on his cluttered desk as you reached for your bag. This was how your meetings always went, a few hours of notes, some teasing, and a hasty retreat once Tom told you the next shoot day you had to attend. You still had a few hours of social media to do for the last video you’d shot together, notes from Tom, and you lamented the sight of the sun setting outside of your shared office. You’d hoped for at least a bit of natural light today.

“I’m serious, you are!” Tom asserted, and you ignored him purposely as you shut down your laptop, preparing to take it home.

“Yeah, I know, whatever. Don’t work too late!”

“Rich coming from you,” he sighed, “it really doesn’t matter if we send that last edit late.”

“It matters to me! I’d quite like to get paid this week, you know?”

Tom sighed. The two of you tried to produce a couple of videos a week – one for Tom’s site and another to sell to a third party. It didn’t leave either of you with much free time, both of you left in the tiny office at all hours as you worked to keep up with demand.

“Very true. But I’d rather you got some sleep, you know I can help if you’re short on money,” he offered, shuffling papers on his own desk.

He was always quick to jump to an offer to help, and you tried to ignore the fondness spreading through your chest at his eagerness to look out for you. That gentle protectiveness which coursed through Tom was enough to make you melt.

He was one in a million, that was for sure.

“I’m fine, Tom. Thank you though, I’ll ask, if, y’know –”

“Do! Any time. Actually…”

Tom cut himself off, typing something into his phone, and your pocket buzzed with a notification.

“Get yourself a nice dinner.”

You checked your phone to see a transfer from Tom. It wasn’t a crazy amount, but too much for just dinner, and you huffed performatively as he grinned at you.

“No! Don’t be ridiculous –”

He barely made more than you, and you were certainly doing perfectly comfortably.

“Royalties are really good this month. That old break-up sex video is trending again, apparently.”

You smothered a smile. It was hate-fucking, as you’d told Tom a hundred times. That was the title. You could still remember the look on his face the day you’d filmed it, his twitchiness, the unknown male actor who had slightly scared both of you with his sheer size as he stepped into the studio. The male star had fucked you like you’d broken his heart, hands on your neck and hips bruising yours as he pounded into you, and you’d be a little alarmed at how little you had needed to act in his domineering presence. He’d been muscular and tall and assertive, almost injuring you with his enthusiasm, and the shoot had ended with you a sweaty mess, struggling to walk, eyes watery.

You had ached from the moment Tom helped you up from the bed, a protective body between you and your costar as you watched the man collect his clothes and his paycheck. The footage had been great, you’d watched Tom edit it, but it had been your first taste of Tom’s protectiveness. The actor had never returned, and Tom had bought a hot water bottle for the office, pressing it into your lap as he brought tea for the pair of you, loathing how you winced as you moved.

He’d taken you out for dinner that night to celebrate a good edit, but you knew the real reason. That neither of you wanted the other to be alone. It had been a lovely evening, a restaurant then a bar, without a break in laughing conversation the entire night. It hadn’t been a date, but if it had been a date, it would’ve been the nicest date you’d ever been on. In those moments, you wondered if Tom was really cut out for the industry. If you were.

As much as Tom hated the film, it was hot. It had propelled your studio into the spotlight, and it paid a significant chunk of your rent.

“Thank you,” you smiled to him, wracking your mind for anything else that needed discussing before you headed home.

Maybe you’d get takeaway. That would be nice.

Tom cleared his throat.

“What are we shooting tomorrow, by the way?”

You looked up at his words, frowning a little at the realisation you hadn’t been given a script yet. It was unlike him, to be so unprepared. Usually everything was organised weeks in advance. With a glance at the shadows under his eyes, you decided not to tease him about it.

“We’re shooting tomorrow?”

“This week… we’ve only got one video. I was just thinking something simple, I haven’t called a costar yet, but we don’t have to if you don’t want to –”

It was your paycheck on the line as much as Tom’s, and you wondered how the hell you’d forgotten.

“Do we have a camera crew?” you frowned.

“No, not yet. I can call though. Or I could just do it myself, if we’re not doing anything too complicated?”

You thought for a moment, leaning against the open doorframe as Tom started to pack up his own desk, nimble fingers tapping across his keyboard.

“Solo?” you suggested, stifling a laugh as Tom blinked and tilted his head to face you.

“I missed that, love?”

“Solo. Like ‘hot female solo’ or something?”

He smiled slightly, closing his laptop lid.

“That’ll do well, I’m sure. Do we need anything costume-wise? Props?”

Toys. He meant toys. You smiled at his refusal to call a spade a damn spade.

“I’m sure we can find everything here. It’ll be nice to do a simple shoot for a change,” you enthused, holding the door for Tom as he moved to turn off the lights, lingering nearby as he locked up the office.

“Yeah. Single-shot, no camera-man either.”

“Cheap,” you sighed, as though it was the sexiest thing in the world.

You did the books, and avoiding having any more costs this month sounded great.

“Yeah,” Tom smiled, falling into step beside you as the two of you left the warehouse studio.

He looked ready to say something else, but changed his mind. For a second the two you stood by the exit, words trapped beneath your closed lips as the early evening air enveloped you.

“Do you need a lift home?” Tom finally offered.

“No. No, I’m good. Thank you.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, yeah. Usual time. Twelve?”

“Perfect.”

He reached an arm out, ready for you to walk into his embrace, and you froze. The moment was over as soon as it started, his arm retracted, and you could only stare. His hand found the curls at the back of his head, scratching there, a blush dusting his cheeks in the harsh fluorescent lights of the car park. You could kick yourself as you watched the bob of his Adam’s apple, the clench of his jaw. He felt awkward. You contemplated hugging him, but the moment had passed. Instead you rocked on your heels for a second, before turning to leave.

“Bye, Tom!”

“‘Night! Look after yourself, don’t forget dinner. I’ll see you – ”

He cut himself off as you walked too far away, and you could have kicked yourself for the sadness in his final syllable. You sighed as your feet fell against the pavement, your whole walk home haunted by the awkward shuffle of Tom’s hands as he went to hug you goodbye.

*

You were surprised by how difficult it was to brush off that awkward memory. As you ordered and ate dinner, you were reminded of Tom with every bite, that he’d snuck aside part of the company’s petty cash budget to give you dinner. That both of you had gone home, separately, to separate empty houses and empty beds.

Had he wanted to go for drinks? Wanted company? You had come to accept a long time ago that the man was your closest friend. He would be the person you called in an emergency, a shoulder to cry on. You liked to think he’d lean on you the same way.

Despite that, you spent limited time together outside of a professional context. You never met up on weekends, or casually called. Of course you didn’t. He made a career out of seeing you naked, watching you fake orgasms for other men. As you readied yourself for the day, you reminded yourself that of course, he would be nice to his only full-time, very lucrative actress. To his business partner.

As you’d queued up the company’s social media posts the night before, you could only think of Tom behind the camera, orchestrating each photo and clip you uploaded.

You couldn’t help the grin which split your face as you walked into the studio, bag flung over your shoulder, overpacked with everything you thought you could possibly need. Tom greeted you, emerging from his office with a smile.

Before you could overthink it, you walked into his arms, giving him very little choice in the matter as you greeted him with a hug. In his surprise you felt his body stiffen, his arms slowly wrapping around you, and you were momentarily gobsmacked by the muscular form he seemed to hide behind those suits.

He was a little more dressed down today, smart black jeans and a button-up white shirt, unruly hair sticking up like it did when he forgot to brush it. He looked better than yesterday, like he’d had a good night’s sleep.

“Good morning,” he chuckled, bemusement clear in his voice.

You pulled back from the hug, a little embarrassed at the affection until you saw the smile stretching across his face, reaching his eyes. Suddenly the previous night, worrying you had inadvertently rejected him, seemed to be erased.

“Morning! What have you got for me?”

The studio space was cleaned, but empty. The camera stood in the corner as Tom lead you further into the room, his office door open to the side of it, and you frowned at the emptiness of the space.

There were tape marks on the floor where sets were usually assembled, conspicuous without the usual hive of activity buzzing around some piece of furniture you would be thrown onto or fucked against. There was nothing.

“I didn’t know what you wanted to do,” Tom was saying, his gentle voice booming in the empty space, “we don’t have a script or anything so… I’ll leave it to you.”

You bit your lip.

It was more freedom than you were used to, less direction, less to build the fantasy where you could forget you were ultimately in a warehouse with just your business partner. It was… nothing. Tom said your name quietly, and you nodded, stepping back to assess the space.

“I’m just thinking,” you reassured him.

Had the studio always been this quiet? You tried to remember a shoot day where it had been this silent, this calm, without the stress of lighting people or cameramen or scripts being thrown around. You could hear every step Tom took as he walked towards the camera, the wheel-mounted tripod creaking as he moved it across the floor, checking batteries and SD cards while you stood in place, your bag still hanging from one shoulder.

Noticing your frozen stance Tom frowned across at you, nothing but gentle concern in his blue eyes and the fine lines around them.

“I was thinking something kind of minimal, maybe cosy?” he offered, “Maybe an armchair? Something like that?”

You thought about it for a moment, crossing to the corner of the room to finally set down your bag.

He was finally getting into ‘director mode’, growing more energetic by the second.

“I’m thinking we just frame it on you, no distraction. Single take, if we can.”

You nodded silently as he crossed to the storage cupboard he’s overeagerly labelled a ‘props department’. It was stacked high with fabric and furniture and lingerie, tubs of various exotic sex toys near the door. Tom stepped straight past them.

There was a mattress in the props room, materials to build a bed, and you pondered on the idea for a moment.

“We could keep it really simple, maybe?” you suggested, “Find a warm background. Or just use white. Try and get one twenty minute shot, or something.”

You reached for lube without thought, collecting the near-empty bottle of body oil beside it too, as you perused the options in front of you.

“Remind me to buy more of that,” Tom mused, sparing a glance to the bottles in your arms before standing beside you to peruse the options.

You nodded silently, your free hand rifling through bagged silicone toys, slightly in a daze as you picked out a few options. There was a slight blush dusted across Tom’s high cheekbones as he turned to see your arms full of dildos. You smiled as it took him a second to find words, and wondered how the hell he’d chosen to start a porn studio in the first place.

“Colour co-ordinated,” he commented, and you smiled, picking out yet another pink toy from the pile.

“Naturally,” you smiled, “I think that’s everything? Could we drag a mattress and pillows out?”

He nodded silently, already moving to manoeuvre the double mattress leaning against a wall in the props room. You rolled your eyes before helping, knowing he was being a gentleman, or whatever he called it. You called it putting his back out.

He rejected your help, so you grabbed as many pillows as you could, following him back into the main studio, privately smiling at the dramatic grunts he made trying to move the mattress. He tossed it to the ground with a grunt, shoving it into the corner of the room, before pausing again.

You dropped everything down on to it, toys, lube, pillows and all.

And then both of you waited.

It was so strangely intimate, just the two of you in the room, the strange nature of your relationship weighing heavy after last night’s miscommunication. Suddenly there was nothing you wanted to do less than take your clothes off.

“White sheets?”

“Hm?” you hadn’t processed what Tom said, too wrapped up in your own world, frowning down at the bare mattress.

“I was thinking white sheets.”

“Oh, uh, yeah.”

He was off, assigned another task, and you almost envied his distraction as you slowly sorted the pillows how you wanted, gathered the toys absentmindedly. Before Tom came back from the props closet you made yourself scarce, catching sight of his slim outline through the doorway. Facing away from you as he rummaged.

In the single bathroom of the studio you cleaned anything that would be going inside of you, avoiding your reflection, trying to shake off the odd nervousness coursing through your veins.

Why? It had been years since you felt this way before a shoot. Before you’d met Tom, even. Sure, shoots could be exciting, exhilarating, intimidating, but this self-consciousness, this self-doubt… it had come from nowhere.

You pressed your forehead to the mirror, closing your eyes, breathing deeply. The tap running sounded like a waterfall, the silicone under your fingers felt alien, the air almost claustrophobic as you wondered what the hell was wrong with you.

Tom was done making the bed when you got back, frowning at his phone until he heard you re-enter the studio space, quick to look up and see if you were happy with his set. You felt hyper-aware of him, of every movement he made, a clean towel and toys cradled in one arm as you took in the space. It was a simple premise, just a clean fitted sheet pillows in a corner, a clear space for you in the middle. You knew it would look good on screen. You knew this was an easy job.

You felt sick to your stomach.

“Do you want to face the camera? Or kind of, not acknowledge it?” Tom asked, speaking again as you forgot to reply, too caught up in your own mind. “Maybe if you ignore it that’s more… voyeuristic?”

“Sounds good,” you responded, kneeling to prepare your space. This was autopilot, your day job. You could do this.

“Right.”

He sounded a little put out by your response, but moved the camera anyway, switching to a knee-height tripod. You stood, stepped back to give him space, and frowning at the sudden headrush. You blinked, catching yourself staring at the flex of his arms as he moved the heavy equipment. You didn’t realise how long you had been staring into space until Tom called your name a second time, crossing into your personal space.

“Are you okay?”

Tom’s voice was so soft you wanted to cry, fingers hovering beside your bicep, his gentle eyes demanding for you to meet them, daring for you to lie while his face is so close to yours.

Somehow, the guilt of his worry made you feel worse.

“No, I’m…I’m being stupid. Sorry, just tired.”

“Did you not sleep well?”

“No, I, uh, I slept fine. I’m not sure. Just not really feeling it.”

His face fell, but you knew he wasn’t disappointed in you. He thought he’d done something wrong. Immediately you were talking, doing anything you could to soften his guilt.

“It’s my job, though. I can do it. This is great Tom, I think it’ll be a good shoot.”

“Sweetheart –”

You sighed, eyes falling to the mattress, before forcing a smile.

“Let’s get this over with!”

He looked like he wanted to argue with you, but you forced yourself to move, pulled your feet from the floor with far more effort than it ought to take. There was some comfort in rummaging through your own bag, that piece of home, something private from the studio. You found the vibrator you’d brought, a pink bullet you used almost exclusively at home, fully charged that morning. Behind you, Tom snorted in amusement.

“Nothing here is ever charged,” you shrugged off his stare, knowing damn well you didn’t have to explain yourself.

You wanted to explain anyway though. Just in case, Tom thought anything he did wasn’t enough. He seemed perfectly fine with the criticism, though you knew he was making a mental note. He always did, then you had something to say.

Trying not to make a big deal out of it, you stripped to your underwear, folding your clothes neatly and being careful not to show any self-consciousness in your posture. You’d never been ashamed or embarrassed before now, and you weren’t about to start. Even if it was just you, and a very well, fully dressed Tom. Vibrator clutched in your fingers, you finally sat on the damn mattress.

He was the other side of the camera now, somehow both distant and a few feet away. You found yourself staring at your body in the monitor, just watching. Tom’s voice broke you out of yet another daze, and you wanted to pinch yourself. Why couldn’t you do it today?

“We don’t have to do this today, if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s okay I just… I forget it’s just us sometimes, you know? There’s such a production and so many people and at the end of the day…”

Tom smiled, a relief on his face that told you he had been feeling it too. That this was weird.

“I know what you mean. If you’re uncomfortable…”

“Just give me a second to warm up, we need to make something, after all.”

You stretched, not really sure why, moving a little around the nook Tom had created, shuffling pillows and practicing where you wanted to lie back, watching a monitor as Tom played with a soft lighting, twisting and turning to find the most flattering angles you could.

As he shuffled things around, Tom nodded to the spread of toys you’d set out. You’d added your vibrator to the pink line up, perfectly organised on the white towel.

“Do you want those in shot?”

You shrugged.

“Might be hot?”

He nodded silently. You moved the toys in to the frame, trying to blink away the cloud which had settled in your mind. The world felt foggy, your arms like they were moving through treacle, and you knew Tom had noticed.

As he prepared two directional microphones, you tried not to feel claustrophobic. The audio from the microphone he was pointing towards your pussy would be almost grotesque, and you fought not to shuffle further from it as you imagined Tom listening later, headphones in, as he balanced the levels between your moans and the wet sounds of you fucking yourself.

Fuck.

Why was this so different to a regular shoot?

You’d done solo shoots before. With Tom. And half-a-dozen other crew, you reminded yourself.

You caught sight of his curls above the monitor, face serious as he set everything up.

“Speak?”

“Testing, testing,” you spouted off nonsense until he offered you a thumbs up, happy with the audio.

Then there was nothing else to do.

He stood, looming over the equipment. And you looming over you.

“What’s the plan?” he asked, smiling at your frown. “You’re in charge here, I’m just the camera guy.”

You rolled your eyes, knowing he was trying to put you at ease.

“You’re the director,” you reminded him, knowing how he preened himself under the title.

You were impressed that his eyes had only roamed down your body once as he took in the shoot, glancing at the indulgent layout of toys, double checking the monitor, one headphone in. He had that stance he always adopted when he was directing, and you knew it was his favourite moment in any of this. The moment everything was pinned on him.

It happened so quickly you almost missed the moment he knelt down, blinking in surprise as his face remerged at your level beside the camera.

“Then my direction is: enjoy yourself. Forget I’m here. Let’s show them something real.”

He must have seen your shock, because it made him smile.

“Real?” you questioned, and he nodded firmly.

“I’m serious.”

For a beat, both of you were silent, his eyes meeting yours over the body of the camera.

“If you can,” he offered, “I understand it’s not always…”

You interrupted him with a hand, smiling your understanding of what he was saying, and dismissing it in one motion. The silence dragged on, and you decided to push this forwards. If you were done by lunch, Tom would probably insist on taking you somewhere nice.

“I don’t know if I should use – ” you ghosted a finger across the biggest toy, worrying a bottom lip between your teeth, “Simplicity might be key.”

“Do what you want, darling. What feels good.”

You nodded mutely, and for just a second you saw doubt flicker across his face. This was new territory, and even you weren’t sure if this was a step too far.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah! Yeah. If I’m… actually… it might take a while. Let me know if I’m taking too long.”

“Take as long as you need, darling. I’ve got nowhere to be.”

Tilting your head at him a little, you realised abruptly just how intimate this was. Moreover, that you wanted it anyway. That you were about to make him watch you cum. Make him hear you, smell you. He couldn’t touch, but he could watch.

And that was enough for you to perform.

Tom gave you a countdown, red lights peppered your field of view, and he was recording. He had taken a seat on the floor behind the camera set up, one headphone in to monitor audio, waiting.

You stayed sat up, back arched a little as your hands began to caress you own body, keeping on eye on the monitor while your face was out of the shot. You rubbed along your thighs, across your stomach, teasing at the lace of your bra and the elastic of your underwear each time you passed them, trailing your fingertips. It didn’t really feel like anything, doing this to yourself, but you knew to tease the camera. Tom would cut out anything too slow.

Your gaze remained firmly on the screen as you began to make your touches firmer, more deliberate, dragging lines into your skin and flirting with the camera. You admired the soft skin of your breasts as you started to shift your bra, enjoying the stiffening of your nipples in the monitor until –

The screen went black, and you immediately glanced at Tom, frowning as you lost the visual of yourself. He met your questioning gaze sternly, eyebrows furrowed, and you remembered his direction.

“Enjoy yourself.”

With nothing left to look at you closed your eyes, feeling the blood rushing to the surface of your skin, the sensitivity of your breasts as your fingers idly danced across them. You shoved your bra down unthinkingly, wanting to feel more, rubbing at the heaviness of your breasts and wincing as you enjoyed the pleasure and pain of pinching at your nipples, teasing them to attention. You glanced your nails across them, feeling it in your core. You didn’t want to wait anymore. Fuck the cameras.

It was hard to let to, to stop the delicious feeling of your fingers on your own breasts, but you forced yourself to free one hand, shoving off the bra, desperate to feel yourself without it. You knew you were grimacing, it wouldn’t be sexy, but you didn’t care. That was Tom’s problem.

You needed to touch yourself.

One hand reached below the waistband of your underwear, seeking out your clit, guided by a familiar ache. It was all you could focus on, your other hand forgotten, cupping your breast, the sensation vague and lost as your fingers found your clit. The sensation overwhelmed you as you shifted the hood, your body beginning to produce wetness. The room was a little cold, the air relieving against the heat of your bare skin, making your nipples peak as you leant back into the nest of pillows behind you.

You felt your stomach tense, a bolt of electricity tensing the muscles up and down your body as you brushed across your clit a little too hard. Your middle finger probed your pussy experimentally, slipping inside of you, quickly joined by a second as you played with the wetness there.

One, two, three pumps of your fingers inside you was enough for you to gasp, your eyes still closed against the bright lights as focused on nothing but feeling. No more fucking around.

You reached for your vibrator, hand knocking against the thick silicone toy lined up beside it, writhing as you pressed it against the fabric covering your clit. You cycled through the settings as fast as you could, still desperate for more stimulation.

More. It was on the highest setting. You wanted more.

Without moving the vibrator you shoved your underwear off, huffing as you kicked them away, not caring where they landed. The tip of the toy nudged against your clit exquisitely, and you froze.

There.

There.

You thought about Tom watching you. The hot blood coursing through your body, the line up of toys just waiting to be shoved inside of you. The sensitivity of you clit as you held it against that perfect point. The air against your dripping, aching pussy. The muscles starting to clench, the rhythm of your body. Building, building, you didn’t fight the feeling.

This was what you wanted.

That warm familiarity of the vibrator on your clit, the runaway train of your thoughts, it was enough to drive you over the edge. You hadn’t realised the keening, groaning noises you were making until you heard them, pleasure leaving your lips as an afterthought.

You felt empty.

Blindly you reached out, sticky fingers finding the shaft of a toy you wanted, a smaller one you could take right now. A dollop of lube in the palm of your hand was all it would take, a few pumps of the toy enough to coat it, the excess lubricant smeared on the sheets. You didn’t care. Not your problem.

Without conscious thought, you were still rubbing yourself, two fingers absently making circles against your clit as you fidgeted to be able to take the dildo. You didn’t bother preparing yourself anymore. You were wet enough, and you wanted the stretch.

Needed it.

Needed to feel full.

You shoved the toy into yourself, gritted teeth and your spare hand grasping at your breast, giving the nipple a sharp pinch to interrupt the overwhelming feeling of that silicone pushing inside of you. Your walls were stretched open, a gasp reaching your ears as you felt a nudge against your cervix.

It wasn’t enough. You felt wild, desperate, as you sloppily pulled the toy from yourself and shoved it back in, clenching down and still needing more.

Your fingers found a larger toy, arousal and lubricant smearing across your body as you discarded the dildo which you had just been fucking yourself with, leaving it somewhere on the mattress, forgotten in favour of the bigger option. It was thick. Maybe, in your right mind, you wouldn’t have considered it. But instead you coated it in lube, squirting the clear liquid on to the tip and rubbing it down the toy, focusing on nothing but the need pulsing through your pelvis.

On the emptiness inside you, begging, pleading to be filled. It hurt, how much you wanted to be stretched out, to feel something pounding into you. You felt animalistic, desperate for anything. The last of your conscious thought was occupied by the need in your clit, the demand for friction, and you just didn’t have enough hands. It was impossible to think. When you finally sank down on the fake cock, leaning back, legs apart, gaze focused on nothing but your own swollen pussy, it was a relief. You gasped, then sighed, pushing another inch of the toy inside you. You felt stretched already, split in half, but you kept going. With each thrust, you took the silicone further inside of you until you felt the dull ache of the toy going too far.

Finally, that emptiness felt sated, and you stayed still, too stuffed to risk moving and too blissed out to care.

But you needed more.

Each bear down made the toy threaten to shift, and you didn’t have the brain power to thrust and pay attention to your aching clit. You moved gingerly, grabbing a pillow to straddle, holding the toy inside you as you hunted for your vibrator.

You couldn’t even lean too far to reach it, you were so full it ached. And it was delicious.

With the smooth plastic finally in your hand you leant back, ready to bring yourself to another orgasm. With a blink, you realised there was a tear tracking its way down your cheek, and you smiled to yourself.

And then you accidentally looked forwards. Your eyes met Tom’s. The camera. The lights. The switched off monitor.

You wanted to cry.

He was watching you directly, with those sharp blue eyes, one finger resting along his jawline, his usual calculating, wide stance replaced with one knee hugged to his chest as he sat on the concrete floor. He was watching you.

You. Stuffed full, straddling a pillow on the bed Tom had fucking made, covered in a mix of lube and your own arousal. That strange feeling from earlier came back full force.

God. He had seen you actually come. Without acting or cheesy lines or clever angles to hide the worst of your O-face. You could pretend to come, tell your male co-stars what a good time you’d had, follow direction, anything. But this was too real. And it was just you and Tom. In the corner of a huge studio, bright lights and cameras and –

Had he called cut? You wouldn’t have heard. Did he realise you’d lost control? That you had forgotten you were supposed to be acting and been so desperate and –

“You’re doing amazing.”

You smiled at him weakly, gasping as the toy inside you nudged your cervix as you fidgeted. You didn’t realise that you were awaiting direction until he spoke.

“Another one?”

His voice was a little throatier than usual, though you supposed he’d been quiet for a while. His eyes kept drifting from your face, and you wondered if he felt as uncomfortable as you did.

You nodded silently, closing your eyes, listening to the increasing pitch of the vibrator as you turned it up to its maximum setting.

The minutes stretched on as your orgasm built, little raises and falls of your hips accompanying that insistent buzz of your favourite vibrator, the toy inside you starting to ache as it stretched you apart. It was impossible to forget that Tom was watching you now. That his piercing gaze was on you. As a matter of professionalism, you tried to avoid looking up. You ignored the camera, fucked your body in the way you knew it would respond to, only half-faking it as you came a second time.

You moaned and groaned and gave the camera an indulgent few seconds of overstimulation, the vibrator pushed against your clit to make you writhe and shake. You pulled yourself off the dildo in a mess of arousal, played with yourself, showing off how stretched out you were.

Fingers swirling in the arousal inside of you, you sighed in relief when Tom called, “cut.”

Dropping the toy, you pulled your legs together, ignoring him for a second as you took deep breaths. Taking stock of your body, the residual pleasure and pain and stickiness. A lot of stickiness.

Tom took pity on you, shifting a softbox so you had a clear path out of the corner you were hemmed into.

“Go and have a shower,” he told you, the most softly-spoken command you’d ever heard.

Nonetheless, you followed orders. On weak legs, you indulged in as long as shower as you dared, cleaning up and then just… waiting. Trying to avoid the real world. When you finally opened the door, wrapped in a robe, you found your clothes folded outside. Tom was nowhere to be seen, but you thanked the universe for him anyway.

When you re-emerged you were fully dressed and feeling a lot more like yourself again. And, actually, quite proud of yourself. Tom’s busyness told you everything had been recorded properly, equipment moved and the mattress bare, leant against the wall.

“All good?” you asked, more to announce your presence than anything. He stopped moving, offering you a gentle smile.

“Perfect! I think it’ll be great. Do you want to go get lunch somewhere? To celebrate?”

Predictable as anything. The thought made your heart swell with fondness for him, his head tilt and excitement, his strange place here.

“I think I’ll just go home,” you tried to smile apologetically, but you could still feel the ache inside you, the dull oversensitivity of your clit against your underwear.

The embarrassment and excitement fighting in the fit of your stomach.

Tom nodded, clear understanding on his face. He held the door for you on the way out.

“Are you coming in tomorrow?” he asked, quietly, like you might run off if he asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll see you then.”

*

Your bedroom fell silent as the vibrator stopped, the battery finally flat. You whined in disappointment, desperate for another orgasm. Your fingers replaced it instantly, rubbing, desperately pulling more wetness from the arousal weeping from you, but you were too oversensitive.

Panting, vision blurry, your thighs aching, you blinked away tears. You glanced at the nightstand. Tom hadn’t text you.

*

When you woke up the next morning your phone was dead. You’d forgotten to charge it last night, and leaving it in your room to charge offered a strangely peaceful morning. You had a few hours before you would be expected at the studio, and no work to do before then.

You indulged in spending time getting ready for the day, making a decent breakfast, doing a few chores you’d been putting off.

Processing what had happened yesterday.

In the clear light of day, you wondered if you ought to be embarrassed for the way you’d completely lost yourself at the shoot. The more you thought about it, the more you thought about it, the more you rationalised at you’d just followed Tom’s direction. Done what he’d asked. It had been intense, for sure, but you’d done what he’d asked. If anything you regretted the moment he’d had to speak, losing your nerve. You hoped he didn’t want pick-up shots today, you weren’t sure your body could take any more.

You thought about the night before, clearing up the scattered clothes and charging the vibrator you’d left strewn beside your bed, more ashamed of the images which had been conjured by your overactive imagination in the late-night privacy of your bedroom. You hated that everything you imagined was involved blue eyes. Distinctive curls. Pulling buttons from smart shirts and kissing along sharp cheekbones. Poor Tom. He didn’t need you overstepping that mark. And yet when you had closed your eyes, imagined you were under those lights again, all you could imagine was Tom. His creative gaze. Listening to the smoothness his voice leant to everything he said as he instructed you even more intimately than usual.

As you switched your phone back on, you forced the thoughts from your mind. They couldn’t follow you to the studio. The two of you had built something good. Something successful. The studio was doing well, you were both saving money away for the future, building your brands. You couldn’t screw that up now by imagining him like that. He trusted you. You trusted each other. Relied on one another.

You wondered if he ever fucked other actresses.

#lord forigve me for i have have rpf x reader #13atoms #fic #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston fic #tom hiddleston imagine #this is a weird one #i think 2 more chapters maybe #lmk what you think!

[dangermousie]

2020 End of Year Post - cdrama edition

This is only going to cover cdramas that aired in 2020; if I had to make a post about all the cdramas I watched this year, I would still be doing it in three months...

Overall it’s been a fairly decent cdrama year (certainly better than the very lacklustre kdrama year.) It’s no miracle that 2019 was (so many excellent dramas!) but overall pretty solid.

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

44 The Legend of Jing Yan - the worst cdrama I have seen this year, and possibly the worst drama of 2020, period. The hero and heroine were both uncharismatic, incapable of acting and saddled with such shrilly moronic characters, the only suspense was how they haven’t both perished long since from forgetting to breathe. Nor was anyone in the rest of the cast much better; the screenplay was written by a lower mammal and the cinematography was the best a third-rate wedding cinematographer could offer. Stay the HELL away from this one.

43 Unicorn Girl - the only unicorn about this bland yet irritating piece of pap was the fact that I was supposed to believe the leads are hockey players.

42 Autumn Cicada - I like spy stories, Allen Ren, and Republican Era settings. I can tune out Communist propaganda with the best of them. Yet, the propaganda ate the story to such a degree that there was nothing left; pre magic change Pinocchio was less wooden then this narrative.

41 You Complete Me - no you do not.

40 Skate into Love - the only positive thing I can say about this is that at least it’s better than Unicorn Girl, if for no other reason that only one of them is supposed to be a hockey player.

39 Irreplaceable Love - how do you make a story about fake siblings with a mad mother falling for each other boring? I don’t know, ask the makers of this.

38 Eternal Love Rain - I hate to rain on their parade, but these two actors cannot act, have about as much chemistry as a piece of bread, and are trapped in a story perfect for entertaining the mental abilities of the leads of Jin Yan.

37 For Married Doctoress - ummmm, you could do worse I guess. It only made me break out in mild hives. The sadistic ending did make me laugh though.

36 Dance of the Sky Empire - why you get Xu Kai and waste him in this insipid mess of a story is beyond me.

35 Love Designer - it’s inoffensive except to my sense of entertainment. There is nothing wrong with it but oh God is it bland.

34 Love a Lifetime - It felt like a lifetime watching this, but I didn’t love it. The story is incoherent, the actors have no chemistry and it’s all an epic waste of time.

33 Love is Sweet - so sweet it gave me diabetes. I like Luo Yunxi and Bai Lu, but there is literally no plot. I don’t need to sink into a plotless morass to watch pretty people engage in PG-rated make-outs. I am an adult with access to stronger stuff if I am thus inclined, though to be fair they could get x-rated and I still wouldn’t be able to sit through so many episodes of plotlessness for that.

32 Fake Princess - I love Zhao Yi Qin, but the guy needs to pick better projects. The female lead in this one has the voice and personality that can strip paint but the story is also doing nobody any favors.

31 The Changan Youth - I lost my brain checking this out. I had to go and read a dense treatise on medieval coinage or Mayan farming to try to recover it.

30 My Dear Destiny - kinda cheesy fun. It honestly shouldn’t be as low except it really feels like community theater.

29 Handsome Siblings - why is the Nic Tse version so good and this one so bad? True mystery for the ages. Chen Zhe Yuan is the sole reason this isn’t lower, because that kid tries SO HARD to make this drama bearable and almost succeeds. I can’t wait to see him in Sha Po Lang which actually will give him something to do.

28 In a Class of Her Own - see my comment on The Changan Youth. But at least Song Weilong is gorgeous to look at.

27 General’s Lady - inoffensive, pretty and so utterly pointless.

26 The Blooms at Ruyi Pavilion - those two leading actors are a no go to me but at least they considerately acted with each other instead of ruining two dramas for me. It’s very pretty though.

25 Jiu Liu Overlord - it’s a mess and I bailed, but I placed it this high merely due to the fact that Lai Yi finally gets a leading role and he’s sexy as fuck and I am shallow. Whoever styled Bai Lu should never work again except at a circus, however.

24 Cross Fire - not my genre and Luhan will always look too much like my cousin for comfort, but it’s a surprisingly gripping and dark drama. I liked it!

23 God of Lost Fantasy - if you want to watch a mediocre wuxia/xianxia, this is not a bad choice. Probably better than Legend of Fei actually, because at least it doesn’t have an A-list cast to waste and gives us Sheng Yilun himbo and shirtless.

22 Renascence - the insane cuts (it went from 70 eps to 36!!!) made a fairly cheesy story into a total mess. But I had a good time until I finally bailed mainly because of the male lead (Chen Zhe Yuan yet again carrying a not-good 2020 drama on his shoulders; the guy should be nicknamed Atlas) and the insane but in a fun way story. The female lead (both the character and the actress) were not up to par but oh well.

21 Legend of Fei - only this high because objectively there is nothing I disliked it. But there is nothing I liked either. The most uninspired drama on the list. If you could eat cardboard, this is what it would taste like.

20 Ever Night 2 - compared to EN1, it’s a waste of film. On its own merits, it’s not very good (the cast replacements are uniformly inferior and Dylan Wang is so wrong for Ning Que I cannot even put it into words; the script is useless.) But it had some parts I loved so very VERY much (all the shippy stuff was perfection) so I don’t feel too bitter.

19 Castle in the Sky 2 - a lovely if not too complex fairy tale. It is inferior to its prequel because it doesn’t have Zhang Ruo Yun who elevated it, but it’s still a solid bit of fun.

18 The Great Ruler - it’s very high fantasy, very pretty, and surprisingly involving.

17 (tie) Legend of Two Sisters in the Chaos - the secondary couple steals the show but the rest is not too bad if not too involving.

17 Legend of Awakening - a solid bit of fun with a seriously BDSM streak (theme this year apparently - but come on, the lead’s powers only activate when he’s in extreme pain!) It’s a bit generic and the costuming is done by a blind person, not to mention the OTP is a NOTP, but the rest of relationships (romantic and platonic) are wonderful (I live for the found siblings story in this one) and I like most of the characters.

16 Consummation - a rare modern cdrama I liked; a sweet coming of age story (and love story) even if wrapped in a pretty weird virtual reality concept.

15 Oops the King is in Love - this is how you do a low budget, sweet, silly piece of fluff. Our heroine pretends to be a eunuch and crosses paths with a powerless young king and they are adorable, even more so than the drama.

14 Song of Glory - pretty solid, though draggy and I didn’t love the toothpaste filter. But A+ cast, excellent leading couple chemistry, Li Qin being a BAMF and a leading man (Qin Hao) who is actually an adult.

13 And the Winner is love - objectively kind of a mess (and the heroine has the brainpower of a gnat), but the OTP chemistry is excellent and Luo Yunxi fighting and flirting with a fan as finally a leading man is worth the price of admission.

12 Miss S - snazzy and snappy and stylish and whatever else starts with S.

11 Eternal Love of Dream - I don’t know if it would work for you as well if you weren’t a hardcore shipper for this OTP in Three Lives but I was and this was such a darling, wonderful, shippy delight; plus I love this type of high fantasy.

10 (tie) Maiden Holmes - solid and sweet and a wonderful OTP. Proves that functional doesn’t have to mean boring. If you watch one cross-dressing drama this year make it this one.

10 Qin Dynasty Epic - srs bsns history epic. I am not far into it but it’s so good and smart and visually stunning (if you love battles, this one is for you.)

9 Love Lasts Two Minds - I adored this so much more than I should objectively have, but it’s so beautiful (and no I am not just referring to Alan Yu’s face) and the OTP has wonderful chemistry and the story is solid, and the whole trope of her memory being wiped but falling for him all over again while he’s constantly and utterly devoted is a fave; plus he’s in pain and semi-dyng for most of it so sluuuurp (happy ending, don’t worry)

8 To Love - yes, a modern drama is this high! But it involves intensity, tragedy, genuine adults and sexiness that is Lin Gengxin. And there is an actual plot and darkness OMG!

7 Legend of Xiao Chuo - so beautiful, so fun, so full of gorgeousness of Shawn Dou. Plus, Liao is a rare setting for a cdrama and there are a lot of characters and stories I liked a LOT. Less ship content than I wanted but more than I expected.

6 The Romance of Tiger and Rose - so so delightful. I was literally laughing out loud. I have no idea if it will work as well if one isn’t a seasoned watcher of period cdrama/reader of web novels, with bonus for watching/reading Goodbye My Princess, but it was a complete delight for me (and yes, I shipped for real, as well. Best of both worlds.)

5 Twisted Fate of Love - Jin Han gets a leading period drama role! And he’s enjoying it to the hilt, excellent as a smart, twisty bastard who is also charming and so madly in love with heroine. Sun Yi is beautiful and tough and her chemistry with JH is on fire, the story never drags, and it’s so twisty and fun and just awesome.

4 Love In Between - the most underrated drama on this list. It has no big names or big budget, but it’s wuxia that’s clever, driven, tragic, hopeful and so beautifully shot. Three separate (amazing) OTPs, a leading man who is so not typical (a doctor who cannot fight and who never acquires this ability) and who is intense and smart and damaged, a heroine who puts her quest ahead of her emotions, an unhealthy degree of involvement by yours truly. This is a drama Fei should have been.

3 Love and Redemption - such a lovely, addictive, utterly romantic fairy tale. I was obsessed with it for a reason. All the tropes you love and some you didn’t know you did, a star-crossed OTP to the nth power (and a secondary OTP I hardcore love), a twisty yet coherent plot, some insane chemistry and so much whump and hurt/comfort they must have bought blood packets in bulk.

2 Go Ahead - yes, I can’t believe it either. A contemporary slice of life cdrama made it this high on my list. But the way it feels so real, the found family perfection, the characters I love and loathe, the perfect cherry of a wonderful OTP that hits my narrative kinks on top, and just a perfect storm of loveliness all around with this one.

1 The Wolf - is that any surprise to anyone who’s checked out this tumblr for the last couple of months? Tragic, intense and gorgeous; so romantic and angsty and passionate it made me lose my mind (though some of it was gone the moment the camera panned to Darren Wang) - all my favorite tropes and then some; this is a drama that may not be perfect but it is 100% and then beyond perfect for ME.

FAVORITE DRAMA

The Wolf - I have seen objectively better cdramas; even this year. But it has been literal years since I have been this hardcore obsessed, this utterly pleased, this emotionally catered to and devastated at once. A beautiful dark fairy tale that manages to own me despite the storytelling gaps due to censorship, it took me for one of the biggest emotional roller coaster rides of my drama watching career. Visually gorgeous, poetic, intense, and so romantic it took my breath away, this is not just my favorite cdrama of 2020, it’s my favorite drama this year period, and the one cdrama this year to make it into my permanent Top 10 cdramas list.

WORST DRAMA

Legend of Jin Yan - see my write up for it for why as I refuse to waste more time on this stupid mess.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Wolfie, The Wolf - he is such a haunted, tormented, complex, dark mess; loving and violent, severely damaged and with a hidden yearning softness, longing and aloof. And the amount of charisma and sheer masculine sex appeal Darren Wang brings to the role is insane and not something I see much of in a cdrama. Plus, that character arc with its rapid fall and slow painful redemption is A++++

Runner Up:  Sifeng, Love and Redemption - has a male lead ever loved more utterly and selflessly, suffered more thoroughly and beautifully, and managed to have such chemistry with both his leading lady and his leading man (that his leading lady temporarily turned into) at once? The answer is no.

Almost made the cut - Feng Xi, Twisted Fate of Love, Han Shuo, The Romance of Tiger and Rose, Qing Ci, Love in Between.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Xiao Qian, The Romance of Tiger and Rose - so funny, so much the reason this drama was such a delight. I adore her beyond words.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Murder Daddy, The Wolf - I am sad the censors robbed us of seeing him die on screen. He was fully human but nonetheless managed to be the worst monster in a drama full of literal ones.

Ling Xiao’s Mom, Go Ahead - I hate her so much I don’t want to look up her name. She abused the kid, the disappeared and came back to abuse him some more. I mean she literally gave her child mental health issues. She is the WORST.

FAVORITE SHIP

Xing’er x Wolfie, The Wolf - are you kidding me? Who else could it ever be for me? They destroyed each other and saved each other, sworn enemies and childhood lovers, soulmates and epic messes, they couldn’t live with or without each other. The longing, the passion, the intensity, the angst, the epicness. LIKE THERE ARE NO WORDS!!!!

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Si Yuan, Shen Manqing, Love in Between - I loved them as much and often more than the main OTP. So much angst and passion and a happy ending! She is a seeming sect darling (except the sect is horrible and also sexist so her only worth is as a marriage candidate) and he’s an information broker who is actually one of the members of a destroyed sect that’s blamed for the massacre of her family. That chemistry and yearning is insane. The scene where she touches his face when he’s unconscious was in serious running for my favorite scene of 2020.

NOTP

Legend of Awakening - I have never seen a couple that didn’t just have no chemistry but exhibited actual revulsion towards each other before watching Chen Feiyu and Cheng Xiao try to act as lovers in this one. It was almost entertaining to be honest.

FAVORITE SCENE

It’s a tie and both are from The Wolf. One is a sequence where Wolfie marches to the walls alone, seeking death at Xing’er’s hands and the whole sequence with the battle and rescue follows. The other is the intercut between Xing’er going to her wedding and Wolfie going to his execution, and the auto-da-fe being intercut with her wedding.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Wolfie, The Wolf - Ummm have you seen this tumblr lately, it’s basically a drool shrine to the man.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Yelü Yansage, The Legend of Xiao Chuo - I have loved this actor since The Myth and he continued to competently steal every scene he was in.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

To Love - come out of the coma, dammit!!!!!!!

NEEDS A DIRECTOR’S CUT

The Wolf - duh. It started out as 59 eps and got cut to 49. I reaiize some stuff is never gonna get put in due to censorship, but some of the stuff that got cut got for time reasons because they were deluded and hoping to get a TV broadcast so ep count had to be under 50. I mean I doubt the censors would care if they kept scenes of Wolfie building her a swing or whatever. I really really want a director’s cut the way Goodbye My Princess did even if like with GMP it’s only three extra eps. Hell, I will take extra three minutes, as long as those three minutes are Darren Wang shirtless or with a sword. Ahem.

NEEDS SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

The Song of Glory - it’s a fairly solid drama but honestly it didn’t need to be as long as it was and kind of got draggy and I got lost interest. (I could have gotten snarky and said all the dramas I didn’t like needed scissors taken to them in their entirety but decided to play nice.)

TOO MANY SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

There are a number of dramas I could complain about with regard to this (hi there, darling The Wolf!) but this award goes to Renascence - poor Renascence was never going to be a masterpiece, but it had the potential to be a bit of good cheesy fun until it had its run time cut by more than half and became an incoherent piece of insanity.

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Dumb shrill innocent heroine who can’t tie her shoes - see basically all the cdramas I didn’t like this year.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Male lead torture - I mean it’s always open season on that in cdramas, but between Love and Redemption, The Wolf, Love Lasts Two Minds, Love in Between and so on, it was a banner year!

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

Legend of Fei - what a waste of that cast; what a waste of our finite time on this Earth. What a waste of my intelligence to hope for something better and stick with it for a dozen eps. I have had stale wonderbread that had more personality than this drama.There is absolutely nothing that stands out about this drama in any way,  from half-dimensional characters, to actors who are sleepwalking, to a plot that moves at the speed of an arthritic snail, to uninspired cinematography and direction, to lack of any chemistry between anyone in the cast. If paint-by-numbers was done by a group of particularly linear robots, it might come across the same way as this drama.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

The Wolf - honestly, I did not expect it to come out AT ALL EVER let alone to become my favorite drama of 2020. I was not familiar with the leading man (hahah), I liked Li Qin but wasn’t yet obsessed with her, and Xiao Zhan was excellent in The Untamed but I was hardly going to follow him from drama to drama (and I don’t do SLS any way.) And the trailer was enjoyable but unlike seemingly everyone, I didn’t think it was going to be some epic masterpiece. And then it came out and while it wasn’t objectively an epic masterpiece, it pulled out all the favorite tropes, shippy and narrative kinks from the deepest darkest recesses of my id. And I fell harder than I have in years. 

2020 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

None. Covid Year gave me PLENTY of time

BEST NON-2020 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2020

Novoland Eagle Flag and Joy of Life - they are in my Top 10 dramas from anywhere now. They are quite different except being smart and giving me protagonists to obsess over.

ETA: Also The Untamed because @idlewilds3 pointed out I actually watched it in 2020 even though I didn’t think so because this hellyear has lasted about three decades.

MOST ANTICIPATED IN 2021

I am gonna limit it to dozen and leaving out ones that aren’t necesarily supposed to air next year (Joy of Life 2, Love in Flames of War, Novoland Princess from Plateau.)

Monarch Industry, Novoland Pearl Eclipse, Silk Washing Stream, Dream of Changan, Sword Snow Stride, Wu Xing Shi Jia, Ancient Love Poetry, Immortality, The Long Ballad, Mirror Twin Cities, The Imperial Age, Fall In Love

#cdrama #legend of awakening #the wolf #go ahead #love and redemption #love in between #legend of fei #the legend of jin yan #the romance of tiger and rose #twisted fate of love #castle in the sky 2 #legend of xiao chuo #the legend of xiao chuo #oops the king is in love #unicorn girl #autumn cicada #you complete me #dance of the sky empire #skate into love #irreplaceable love #eternal love rain #for married doctoress #love designer #love is sweet #renascence #my dear destiny #the chang'an youth #god of lost fantasy #cross fire #handsome siblings

[waezi2]

Re-reading Yu-Gi-Oh (part 1)

So... I bitch a lot about Yu-Gi-Oh. When I don’t complain about it online and accuse it of scamming kid me, I ridicule the story and the many holes in the game rules.

But I actually used to love this manga with a burning passion. I bought it because I was fixated with the cards, but instead I got traumatized. In an awesome way.

So I decided to re-read the manga about the possibly best known TCG game in the world and see how it started, how it evolved, and if the story still holds up.

So, I’m reading chapter 1, and we have to talk about the art.

The art style at the beginning was chunky and sometimes downright awkward. But it was still very enjoyable. The characters were very expressive and the tone of the style could swing quickly from wacky and rubberhose like to eerie and brooding depending on the situation. It makes you forgive odd-looking legs and hands that becomes massive. It is clear that it is someone’s first project.

So, this is Yugi. Possibly the cutest and meekest punk kid who ever lived. Yugi is not an outdoor person, so he spends most of his recesses inside the classroom. He brings a ton of games to school, hoping that someone might wanna play with him, but all of his classmates prefer to go outside and do stuff like basketball. And being a short teenager who practically looks like a little boy means he is not a desirable team mate in any ball game.

This is totally just a theory, but I think Yugi’s signature punk hairstyle is his way of trying to look a bit more edgy to try do something about his cute appearance.

... Yeah, it’s not working. He still looks like a fricking Gummibear.

As Yugi is minding his own business, we meet two familiar faces.

... their names are actually Jounouchi and and Honda, but most people know them by their American names, so I will just refer to them as Joey and Tristan. 

It’s so odd to see their old designs. Especially Joey since his hair is not as big and square like as it is today. And what the fuck is up with Tristan’s face?!

Anyways, while Yugi decides to play with the most valuable game in his collection, Joey and Tristan decides to mess with him. They make an interesting bully duo where Tristan is more loud and is clearly having more fun bothering Yugi who is too short to put up a fight while Joey seems more stoic and is almost annoyed by Yugi for being a pushover. He even tells Yugi to be a man about it and at least try and take the game back from him by force. So while Tristian just enjoys picking on Yugi for the heck of it, Joey seems to sincerely dislike Yugi.

Luckily, Yugi doesn’t have trouble with bullies as such since he is friends with Tea who is so tough that she actually intimidate Joey and Tristan with sheer attitude. That’s actually impressive.

... A shame she is most of the time just the damsel in distress.

Tea is the only person in class who hangs out with Yugi since they have been friends since kindergarten. And she doesn’t mind staying inside at all since a ton of the guys are jerks who only wanna play basketball with the girls since it gives them an opportunity to look up their skirts.

Yeah, there is a lot of that in this manga. Most of the males in this series are kinda horny. the humor often relies on it, which downright creepy at times.

Even Yugi finds basketball more appealing now that he knows about the skirt-looking.

Lewd panty-shot aside, I think it is a nice detail that Yugi is as pathetic as the rest of the dudes in school, he probably just doesn’t have the courage to try get a look. It makes him less of a pure hero.

Altight, let’s stop talking about Yugi being a closet creep:/

Yugi shows Tea what his greatest treasure is: A LITTERAL treasure.

Yep, this is the famous Millennium Puzzle, practically the mascot of the series. It’s an ancient puzzle found in an pyramid that Yugi got from his grandfather who runs a game store. The puzzle is extremely valuable, both because it is from ancient Egypt and it is made of gold.

... And Yugi brings it to school where Tristan and Joey pushes him around...

Yugi has been struggling with the puzzle for eight years despite being a game nerd. Even though it is a blow to his not that big ego, he keeps trying to solve it since the box says that if he will be granted a wish if he manage to solve the puzzle.

Meanwhile, Joey and Tristan makes the fatal mistake of talking about picking on Yugi while Ushio is close enough to hear it. He is the school’s hall monitor and rumor has it that he is downright psychotic and is feared by most of the students. Heck, some of the teachers are uncomfortable being near him.

And this guy has decided to become Yugi’s bodyguard, something poor Yugi doesn’t take serious when Ushio tells him that.

Joey and Tristan are unaware how screwed they are as they keep having their fun bothering Yugi without our hero knowing it. Joey managed to steal a piece from the puzzle box before Tea interrupted, and Joey decides to throw the piece in the school’s swimming pool so that the puzzle becomes worthless as it can no longer be solved. I gotta say, that is pretty twisted and surprisingly sneaky of a teen bully. It’s downright creepy.

Speaking of creepy...

This is Yugi’s grandfather Sugoroku. He runs the game shop that Yugi lives in and is a living encyclopedia when it comes to games of all sorts.

And he can’t just tell Tea that she has grown. He HAS to mention her breasts as well. Da fuck is up with all the sex talk and panty shots in this series?! Does Kazuki Takahashi(the author) have some sort of issues?!

Yugi’s grandfather notices that Yugi is STILL trying to solve the ancient puzzle and warns Yugi that the puzzle is supposedly cursed. That the archeologist and his team died mysteriously shortly after finding the puzzle and the last one to kick the bucket said something about a “shadow game” with his dying breath.

That however makes Yugi even more determent to solve the puzzle. If it really is magical then chances are that he will be granted a wish by completing the puzzle.

Personally, I would call the nearest museum and sell the dang thing before it could kill me with it’s insane cursed magic.

Speaking of insane, Yugi realizes that he should have taken Ushio serious when he said he would be his bodyguard.

Yep, the SOB has dragged Joey and Tristan behind the school building and kicked their asses through and through. Tristan is in so much pain that he is barely conscious and Joey is so pummeled that all he can do is watch as Yugi shows how surprisingly brave he is as he demands that Ushio leaves them alone, even refer to them as his friends and that they were just trying to make him a man.

Yeah, picking on someone because they are too timid and demanding that they fight you despite knowing that they hat violence is the right way to make someone a man. Hip hooray for toxic masculinity!

Yugi defending Joey and Tristan results in him getting a beating as well.

One of the interesting things about early Yu-Gi-Oh is the raw and ugly violence. We talking dirty violence where people get kneed in the chest and kicked while they lie down. Not just off-screen, we witness our heroes be pummeled, making the series a bit more gritty and frightening. And this series is not for those with a weak stomach.

Joey is stunned, partly because Yugi defends him, but way more of the short spiky-haired kid’s courage. But Yugi is anything but afraid. After all, he refused to fight Joey, but he still tried to get the puzzle back(not successfully, but he made an effort instead of just squirming).

After Ushio finished kicking poor Yugi’s ass, he tells him to bring him money as “payment” for his “bodyguard service.” And we talking 200000 yen, that’s a lot of dough.

Ushio even pulls a god damn knife(!), just to show how fucking crazy he is!

Yugi goes home to see if he has money enough to pay Ushio, but he only has 1656 yen. In frustration, Yugi decides to solve his unsolvable puzzle, just to think of something else than the brute with a knife who is waiting for him at school.

But what do you know? Yugi finally get the hang of it. He sees that some of the pieces just needs to be rotated differently and he finish it in a couple of minutes.

... Or he WOULD have. He finally sees that one of the pieces are missing, breaking his heart and making his awful day even worse.

But Grandpa has the last piece. He tells Yugi that one of his friends from school had found it and asked him to give it to Yugi. And that he was soaked despite it not raining.

As Yugi is happy about being able to finish the puzzle and returns to his room, his grandpa thinks about that the boy was Joey and that he asked him not to tell Yugi it was him that came with the puzzle piece. Joey also told him about Ushio blackmailing Yugi, so Grandpa secretly puts money in Yugi’s schoolbag so he won’t get in trouble.

And this is where it get’s freaky.

Yep, here it is. the iconic moment Yugi gets blessed by the puzzle so that he can turn into the split personality we refer to as Yami which is Japanese for “Dark”.

Yugi then calls Ushio and tells him to meet him outside school at midnight.

Ushio is surprised as he sees that Yugi is wearing some sort of costume and that he looks way more cocky than before.

Yugi tells Ushio that he has the money he demands, but he has twice the amount. Fricking 400000 yen!

But Yugi only “owes” 200000 to Ushio, so he suggest that they play about them in a dark and twisted game.

Yugi and Ushio take turns stabbing the stack of money placed on their hand. They have to stab hard enough to take more than one single bill. The winner is the guy with most yen bills.

As they play, Ushio seems to be winning... but when it is his turn, he can feel that his hand is way too eager to stab.

This is not just a weird-ass game. This is a “shadow game”, a game that shows your true nature. Ushio’s greed is now collected in his hand, and he so desperately want to win the game that he can’t control it. He realizes that if he stabs, he won’t be able to control his strength and he will penetrate his own hand. Ushio has to either A) give up and keep his hand or B) win the game with one hand less.

Ushio picks C.

Ushio tries to kill Yugi, but that was a mistake. The puzzle has made him super human and he leaps from the ground, evading the knife.

And cheating in a shadow game is a big no-go as the host of the game has authority to punish you.

Yami Yugi curses Ushio with “Illusion of Greed”, meaning he will be doomed to live in an imaginary world where he sees nothing but money everywhere.

Next morning, he is still outside the schoolyard like a drooling idiot who yells about all of his imaginary money.

Yugi has no memory of what happened but is glad he no longer has to be worried of Ushio who is a harmless nutcase. Not only that, he has finally finished his puzzle... and Joey offers him his friendship.

And that was the start of the horror manga turned card game commercial. It has a lot of charm, is very eerie and I think I prefer Yami Yugi’s first look that is more child like. making him look downright creepy.

This retrospective will continue ASAP.

Till then, I’m Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

#Yu-Gi-Oh #yugioh #yugi moto #joey wheeler #katsuya jonouchi #honda hitomi #anzu mazaki #tea gardner #tristan taylor #yami yugi #atem #manga

[opalsiren]

roasting the season three wedding outfits

during my ranking of every dress that rikki wears on h2o i had an epiphany: everyone at sam and don’s wedding in season three looks like crap. i would even go so far as to say that sam was the only person to look good at her own wedding. this post will mostly consist of me being petty and pointing fingers at the costume design team for squandering the opportunity to style their mains for a wedding, offering alternatives to the, ahem, choices that were made when dressing cleo, rikki, and bella. i tried to keep my selections consistent with early 2010s fashion while also in keeping with the personal style of each girl

again credit to the homies at h2o wiki for sourcing many of the below images. as always click for better views since tumblr hates its userbase. let the roast begin! we’re starting with...

cleo’s salmon dress

cleo’s fit is not the worst offender in this category by any means. however given how drop dead gorgeous phoebe tonkin is, it’s a pity that she pissed off the costume team enough sometime prior to this episode that they chose to enact revenge on by putting her in this… whatever this is. lewis’s lovestruck expression as she walks down the stairs never fails to amuse me during rewatches. the dress is ill-fitting, sitting way too low on the bust, shapeless, and poorly styled in general; what is up with the hairdo which is more mako mermaids than mature, sophisticated young adult? seriously, no eighteen year old would be caught dead with their hair styled in such a distinctly juvenile fashion. this critique also extends to the dress itself which suits teenage kim more than her elder sister. i’m not saying that cleo should have shown more skin or worn six inch heels, but something a little more grown up wouldn’t have gone amiss. i’m not mad at the salmon pink against cleo’s colouring, but the costume team have long since established greens and purples as cleo’s soul colours. this is not to say that she shouldn’t be allowed to wear any other colour. still i would have killed to see her in some jewel tones like either one of these choices:

coral pink monstrosity aside, cleo would slay in something like the purple dress with lace and ruffle detailing pictured above. it plays into her penchant for 70s boho and would absolutely suit the beachy vibe of the wedding. a simple updo and strategic accessories would really elevate the look (plus it comes in teal green too if that’s more your thing!). alternatively she would also rock this peacock green, grecian-inspired number. it suits the understated simplicity of cleo’s style, and would play up her pretty green eyes too. next!

rikki’s royal blue dress

i won’t spend a ton of time on this one since i thoroughly eviscerated it back in my ranking all of rikki’s dresses post. the tl;dr is that the colour and shape are unflattering, and even season three rikki would absolutely refuse to wear a dress with a giant bow on the front. i offered some edgier seafoam green alternatives for rikki in the aforementioned post, but our girl has a number of absolutely iconic red dresses throughout the series so i thought i’d style her in something similar this time ‘round:

above left is an obvious callback to season one’s red dress; the ruffle feature at the bodice is almost an inverse of the detailing at the hem of its predecessor. the dress isn’t too overly ostentatious, but the traffic-stopping red just screams rikki. my other choice, a hi-lo one-shoulder dress with, you guessed it, ruffle detailing, is also inspired by the iconic season one red dress. it has just enough edge to be rikki-approved but is still feminine and elegant. last and possibly least is...

bella’s black and white dress

i once said that rikki’s blue dress was my villain origin story. at the time i was joking, but this might actually be true of bella’s dress. bella, baby, i’m so sorry they did you like this. there is just… nothing redeeming about this look whatsoever, from the weird earrings and weirder bangle to the skirt which belongs on a toddler’s dress to the pattern that belongs on that of a much older woman. while the others look quite juvenile, bella’s look is simultaneously giving immaturity AND fifty-year-old art teacher who shops exclusively at desigual. why is it so difficult to style teenagers in an age-appropriate fashion? also, wearing a white dress to another woman’s wedding is nothing short of sacrilege, even if said said dress isn’t fully white. i will say that the fit is slightly better than rikki and cleo’s dresses. still this entire look is a letdown given that bella wears some of the best dresses in h2o canon. she’s my least fave mermaid but girl does rule in the style stakes. furthermore, indiana evans is such a beauty that she could pull off almost anything, but this just ain’t it, chief. my picks are:

bella wears a number of blue dresses in the series, and the aqua blue dress above is nothing short of striking. she loves a strapless moment and the silhouette is pretty too. however it’s mostly the colour that sells me on this dress for bella. aquamarine would match her eyes and crystal necklace, as well as complement her complexion beautifully. my other selection is a chiffon maxi dress in bright coral orange, a colour that we don’t see bella in much of but which would suit her perfectly nonetheless. it’s both beach wedding- and age-appropriate too!

what did you think of my selections? did you like how the girls were styled at the wedding, or would you have made better life choices? should we have gotten a cutesy shopping montage? is sam roberts the one saving grace of season three? does cleo deserve a hug for putting together her dad’s entire wedding in her final year of school while the love of her life is strongly considering fucking off to america? sound off in the notes!

#this post was originally ranking the dresses that bella wrears and devolved into this. but like. let a bitch know if you want to see that #post i guess! #also if you like the og dresses i'm accepting constructive criticism at this time. i know i'm such a hater but it's fun to be salty #and there's absolutely nothing wrong with being a young person^tm who dresses like a young person^tm. it's just weird because for most of #h2o the teenagers dress like actual teenagers without showing too much skin. but also not being afraid to look a little edgy or experimenta #so in that regard the wedding was a totally miss. like compare the season one dance dresses to the season three wedding fits and you'll see #what i mean. but i guess it's all subjective anyway! #h2o #h2o: just add water #.txt #h2o just add water