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romanoffsbish · 1 year

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In a Summer Haze

CEO!Natasha Romanoff x Fem!R

Happy 4/20, 🥰 (belated by a few hours because I passed out 😏 yesterday before finishing the fic)

Warnings: Drugs (Weed): Shotgunning

Smut: Mommy(N), Oral (R), Fingering (R), Overstimulation, Double Sided Strap (R/N).

18+ | Minors DNI

Natasha truly loved everything about you.

Like the way your nose scrunched up when she'd tell you a silly joke, or how you'd pull the car over to guide ducks through traffic, but her favorite thing was how you smiled when you settled into her embrace after every long day.

What she especially loved though, was how pliant you were for her. If she wanted to try something new, you were always on board.

——

Marijuana wasn't new to the redhead, but it is for you, and with how long it's been for her it'll likely have the same sort of effect on her. It's something she hadn't dabbled with since she graduated college all those years ago. Starting a company took too much time and energy, she hadn't the time for such frivolities as the CEO.

Until now that is, she was waiting for you to return from the kitchen in your Summer beach house as she rolled a fat joint. This was the first time she'd been on vacation in over a decade, she hadn't gone off since she started working. Natasha was a workaholic to her core, and if not for you she'd never stop and smell the bud.

"One scotch on the rocks for the hottie in my bed," you sang as you entered the room, "and a virgin Shirley Temple for me of course."

"Your bed?"

"If I didn't make you buy this place, it wouldn't be either of ours," you affirmed with a glare, "Plus, what's yours is mine, remember?" you flashed your ring at her as you slipped her the drink, and softly pecked her lips, pulling back with a refined grimace at the way she tasted.

Natasha chuckled, "It might not taste the best, but trust me detka, best orgasm of your life."

"How would you know?" You huffed, sending her a warning glare as you settled down on your side of the bed, she only smirked, "I lived many a life before you Y/N," she paused her talking to seal the joint, holding steady eye contact with you as she licked across the paper, then she used her fingers to seal it seamlessly.

"Which comes with experience," she finally continued on, she placed the joint between her fingers and slowly crawled across the mattress until she was straddling your lap. With her free hand she cupped your face, slowly running her thumb over the apple of your cheek with clear affection, "This life is my favorite though."

"Natty," you softly aired your insecurities with only a whisper of her nickname, "Shh, don't overthink it moya lyubov', just relax for me."

Natasha lit the tip of the pristinely rolled joint, she allowed the embers to burn until the smell of the ganja flitted between the both of you.

"Watch me," she lifted the joint to her lips, her eyes stayed locked in on yours as she inhaled with careful precision. You nearly killed her with just how adorable you looked, as if you were still that bright young intern at her company learning the ropes. Your brows were deeply furrowed, and your nose was scrunched as your eyes drank her in. "Your turn detka."

Natasha flipped the joint, she held it up to your lips, and after a moment of intense staring you took the wetted piece between your lips and sucked hesitantly. For a second it was going well, but you overdid the pull before Nat could take the joint from you, and now you were spluttering as smoke billowed from your lips.

"Gotta pace yourself detka," she mused, and you looked to her through your bleary eyes to see as she took yet another hit without a hitch.

"How are you so good?" You whined, and she chuckled softly as an idea came to her, "Here," she gripped your chin, nails softly digging into the thin skin as she did, you watched her take another slow drag off the joint, the embers at the end a bright orange as they crackled loud enough to fill the deafening silence. Natasha used her free thumb to part your lips, and before you knew it she was transferring the clouds of smoke to you through a soft kiss.

Something about focusing on her pillow soft lips made the process much easier. She softly whispered for you to inhale, and this time you did so without a need to break the kiss apart. Natasha used that to her advantage as she slid her tongue over yours, and was rewarded with a desperate moan that even she unexpected.

Everything was on a new level, you'd never felt anything like this in your life, and you were still deciding if you wanted to again. This sort of heaviness had settled into your limbs, it felt like if you tried to stand they'd be like cement blocks stationing you in place. Then in direct contrast every nerve in your body was alit, the callouses of Natasha's fingers normally were unnoticeable as they trailed over your skin, but as she runs them over your arms you shivered.

"How you feeling detka?" Natasha was amused, she could see the haze in your eyes had set in within mere minutes. She's sure you didn't even realize it, but you'd been sat there with your lips parted ever since the kiss ended.

Mindlessly waiting for more she hopes...

"Like a caterpillar," you noted seriously, and she nearly chocked on the heavy cloud of smoke she was holding in her lungs, "How so?"

"I, hm," you paused to think, it was your truth, but as is the case for most you couldn't fathom how to explain it, "Colorful," you tried, and then you pouted as she giggled in your face.

"I'm not going to tell you if you're being mean!"

Natasha set the burning joint down carefully on the bedside table, then she cupped your cheeks, "I'm not being mean, now go on."

You sighed, "You know how they scrunch their bodies to move?" she nodded with a practiced straight face, "Well, it kinda feels like my brain is doing that just to think. Like it's squeezing tight, then it's just flopping down as if we ran a marathon. Up. Down. Up. Down. It's strange."

Natasha nodded with a smirk, she went to lean in for a kiss but apparently you weren't done, "Also, they eat leaves, and now I smoke them."

Natasha snorted, "Yeah, you do," she reached over to the table to put the joint out for now, "My sweet little lightweight," she teased.

Before you could protest her very true to form statement she captured your lips with hers.

Never in your life did you imagine anything could be better than kissing your wife, but in this moment you realized the only thing better than kissing her, is doing it while being high.

There was a dull ache steadily increasing in between your legs the more she kissed you. Her tongue simply devoured your mouth as you put up no fight, and her hips ground into yours in a calculated motion, building you up unbearably.

"Please..." You begged, and the woman was grinning from ear to ear, "What is it detka?"

A whimper left you as she'd stopped touching you so intimately, you desired having her close. Natasha's pupils were blown, and you weren't sure if your eyes were deceiving you or not, but it appeared like the light green hue darkened.

"I need you mommy," you canted your hips up, pulling a surprised groan from your lover as she too was overly sensitive, "Wanna be your last best orgasm, please, make us the best!"

"You're already my best detka," she attempted to peck your worries away, and in a move to speed the previously tedious process along she trailed her lips over the taut skin of your jaw, her hands slid beneath the hem of your shirt and in one fluid motion the fabric was gone.

"Mommy's going to take such good care of you detka," she whispered hotly against the column of your throat, the hot air she expelled had you squirming as it fanned across your skin. Nat giggled as she felt the way your throat shivered beneath her lips, you'd moaned when her teeth scraped over your skin, "Such a sensitive girl."

The journey to between the apex of your thighs was provocatively slow, her focus on your breasts had you writhing, but you held no real complaints. Every mark she sucked into your skin only brought you closer to your release. Natasha had barely touched you but you felt like you were on the verge of combusting.

"Fuck, you taste so good detka," Natasha lost the need to tease you as soon as her tongue slid over the plush skin of your thigh. Your essence was intoxicating in taste and smell, she inhaled deeply, as if she could hold onto your scent forever this way, her chest was now heaving with such an intense need. A need for you.

Natasha buried her face between your thighs. There was an unlocked carnality to the way her tongue moved through your folds. She's always been a passionate lover, but this went deeper. The woman wasn't even coming up for air, and that willingness of hers to suffocate just to taste you brought you crashing over a blissful edge.

That success didn't stop her either, your bodies writhing and your screaming only encouraged her as she fucked you straight through your orgasm. Natasha was honestly drunk on you, like you were the finest Bordeaux and she was savoring every last drop. Through countless orgasms she continued to eat you out like a fiend, the way tremors of your thighs rippled against her face blew her massive ego up.

Once you reached a point of overstimulation, your legs having tightened around her head in a way that made her dizzy beyond belief, she decided it was best she showed your cunt some momentary mercy. She slowly curled her tongue while buried deep inside you, and as more of your essence spilled from within you she greedily lapped it all up for a final time.

When she finally pried your legs open she was lifting her head up to look at your expression. Your face was a picturesque reflection of bliss. There was a glaze to your bloodshot eyes that gradually tipped over the edge, the tears of satisfaction enhanced your beauty really. After your gasping had tempered you wore a smile, and Natasha mirrored it as she hovered above.

“How you feeling now?” Natasha chuckled when you rolled your eyes, “Like a happy caterpillar, maybe soon I’ll be a butterfly.”

“Oh, I can help you fly baby,” you quirked a brow, and the redhead winked before giving you a nonverbal answer, her fingers entered you and that had your back flying off the bed.

"Oh God," you cried out as she thrusted her fingers into you with little regard to your increased sensitivity, “Oh fuck,” if anything she was exploiting this limited timed response.

Natasha found your inability to speak amusing, the profanities you were just screaming faded out into incoherent babbling interrupted only by involuntary growls from deep within you. There had never been a moment like this for you two before, Natasha was a premium lover, but this experience was clearly next level.

Natasha swiveled her thumb over your clit, "There you go detka," Natasha husked hotly against your lips as you shrieked against hers, "Scream for me Y/N, scream for mommy."

Natasha watched you coming undone, propped up on her elbow she watched with rapt eyes as your mouth flew open, and eyes screwed shut.

"Open your eyes," she tapped your temple, and you hazily obliged, "Such pretty eyes detka," she smiled at you with relative ease, as if she didn't even have to focus on her hand that was jackhammering into you. Holding eye contact with her as she fucked you was dizzying, add on the way she dripped onto your thigh, and it launched you into the best orgasm of your life.

Successfully topping herself as the title holder. She’s long since ruined you for anyone else.

There was nothing more beautiful than seeing you with your lips parted, a melody of moans leaving your lips via your throat as your eyes rolled back into your head so far she was sure you could see your brain. As you worked on coming down from such a glorious high your lover sweetly peppered your face with kisses.

Once your were relatively cognizant she met your lips for a sweet, sensual kiss. There wasn’t much of a rush for either of you to part, you were quite enjoying this moment of reprieve. Because as great as she made you feel just now, you honestly needed a break, and tasting your essence on her tongue was helping to build your dying arousal back up. Something you weren’t used to either, usually after about five big O’s you were ready to tap out, but the drugs coursing in your system surged your libido on.

“Mommy wants to fuck you with her cock,” Natasha growled out her desires as you’d just separated to breathe, she felt you tense a bit, “Come on detka,” Natasha pleaded with a pout, “Just one more, please, mommy needs this.”

You meekly nodded, you could never deny the woman such relief. Not when she worked as hard as she did to provide a life for the both of you, and it’s not like it came at your expense. Her pleasure came with promises of your own.

Natasha slid the strap inside of herself, she nearly buckled at the knees due to the large intrusion, but she managed to hobble back over to the bed where she slid your end into you slowly, with a care you could feel in your chest.

“Can I move?” You could hear the strain in her voice, she was desperate, that much you knew as her slick cunt was pressed atop of yours. She was also considerate, so even if she wanted to fuck you both into a state of bliss, she would wait until you’d adjusted to your longer side.

“Go ahead mommy,” you sighed, “I’m ready.”

Natasha pecked your lips, a silent thank you, before she pulled out, walls clenching around her end to keep it more sturdy as she rammed her hips back into yours. With every thrust her ability to hold her end dwindled, instead she began to let it remain anchored in your cunt while she chased her overdue orgasm down.

Seeing Natasha in such a state only drove you crazier, her hands held your hips in a bruising manner as she chased down what was owed to her without holding back. In an attempt to help you clenched hard and rutted up to meet her thrust down, and that seemed to do the trick. Natasha bit into your neck to conceal her screams of pleasure, and as her walls held the strap tight in their fluttering state she was able to throw you over as she was calming down.

The two of you moved together, helping to prolong the both of your euphoric states until you were whining due to sensitivity. Natasha nuzzled her face against the side of your neck, her tongue prodded at the drops of blood that were dribbling from the mark she’d just left. A soft wince came from you as she lathed her warm tongue over the marred skin to soothe it.

“You did so good for mommy,” she coo’d as her lips kissed a line up your neck until the slotted perfectly against yours. The taste of your arousal mixed with undertones of copper laced your tastebuds as she explored your mouth. It was a slow kiss until it wasn’t, a momentum picked up as her nipples brushed over yours, you could feel your walls fluttering around the strap again, but when her hips moved you felt more pain than pleasure, so you whimpered.

“Shh, it’s okay love,” she pressed a kiss to your cheek before nuzzling her face back into your neck, “Get some rest, you’ll need your strength for round two where mommy plans to ride your pretty little face, my precious built in throne.”

Natasha’s heart fluttered alongside your soft giggles, they were her favorite sound to elicit. While laying atop of you she can’t help but feel grateful that she gave you a chance, that she let herself love something more than her career. Because you’ve now opened her life up to a joy she never would’ve imagined possible, and one she couldn’t fathom living without anymore.

“Mommy,” you called out to her after a few minutes and she hummed tiredly, “Yes detka?”

“I feel like a pretty butterfly now,” you admit, your high clearly still lingering, “You are a very beautiful butterfly, now close your eyes detka.”

“I love you very much,” you whispered, and the redhead smiled, “I love you most Y/N.”

“Nuh uh,” you denied with a shake of your body that jostled the tired woman, “Go to sleep Y/N!” Natasha groaned, and you giggled wildly beneath her, “Oh God, you’re a total giggler.”

——

2,878 Words

Reader:

❤️ Kaitlyn 😏

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff fic #natasha romanoff oneshot #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha romanoff au #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha romanoff x wife!reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha x you #natasha x fem!reader #gxg

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inklore · 8 months

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garage rooftop

premise: the lines of friendship or something more grow more blurry the longer your eyes move from each mole, his cheek bones, his dark eyes, his lips. and you really don't understand why the two of you hadn't become something more ages ago.

pairing: ben solo x (f)reader

word count: 1k

contents: college au, fluff like this is nothing but fluff with one sexual innuendo and that's it, friends to lovers, quick mention of han being a lackluster dad sorry it's for the plot.

note: let's ignore that i actually wrote this back in april and just never got around to editing it but now that i'm in my driver era i had to come back to it. the title is from this song that i highly rec listening to while reading <3

The way his face morphs into something that was once joyful and silly—the blissed high that paints your cheeks red from laughing too hard over being overheated from how weightless it feels to be laying on the roof of your apartment building. The space decked out with rugs, blankets, and cushions from past and current tenants, mostly college kids like yourselves.

Making it the perfect place to get high and look up at the sky at night. The city lights outshine the stars, but the clouds—and the strain of ganja Poe recently snagged from his dealer—give the same ethereal effect.

“Why haven’t we ever...”

“Ever what, Solo? Dated?” There’s a pause between your words, and a slow, sly smirk moves across your lips as you look over at him. “Fucked?”

The blush painting his cheeks quickly moves down to his neck as he shakes his head in laughter, biting his lower lip to hide whatever feelings are currently making him look like a shy schoolboy—something he was far from.

It’s the “both. Why haven’t we done any of it?” That makes you both fall silent. That makes the joyfulness fade and something else fill the air the longer the silence spreads between the two of you.

And it’s not the weirdest question or the wildest thing that’s come out of either of your mouths.

It’s a question that makes you wonder, why? Seriously why? With the longer you stare at him, the more you take in the nervous tick of his chiseled jaw. The way his dark hair falls into his face each time he laughs and he has to continuously push it out of his eyes. How the crook of his nose looks oddly kissable and more attractive than you’ve noticed it before when it’s this close to your face.

When the haze from the weed is making your body feel limitless and swoony.

It’s a feeling that has you turning on your side. Putting a hand under your head shifts your body closer to Ben’s. Smiling when he doesn’t act phased in mirroring you, his body moving in the same motions and position as yours. Now putting the two of you so close that you can feel his breath hit your face, and the space between your legs barely exists without some part of him touching it.

The two of you had been friends for forever, it seemed. Stuck in the woes of academia, making your parents proud does that to you. Makes you lose track of time and forget how the two of you became friends after getting into an argument over a Hamlet book in the library.

A fight Finn quickly broke up, but Poe enthusiastically cheered on.

The lot of you—Rose and Rey included—became inseparable after that day. Something that didn’t have a timestamp or expiration in your mind. It just happened.

And now you have four best friends, and you’re coming to the conclusion that you’ve possibly liked one more than that. The lines of friendship or something more growing more and more blurry the longer your eyes moved from each mole, each scar, and each strand of hair. His cheek bones, his dark eyes, his lips. And you really don't understand why the two of you hadn’t become something more ages ago.

“Have you wanted to?”

“The fact that you’re asking me tells me that you’ve never noticed. I’m not that subtle.”

“Nose stuck in a book at all times, Ben, not subtle?” You make a sarcastic face, “yeah, who would ever think you’re subtle?”

His knee nudges your thigh as his cheeks rise in that smile that makes his eyes crinkle at the edges. “You think I’d let Poe or Rey borrow my stuff? Steal my takeout from the fridge—which I know you do—without consequence?”

“In their defense, Poe and Rey have three late library books from two years ago and only you and I like the takeout you get from the bodega on the corner, so…it’s not really a fair asses-”

The squeal that comes from his fingers digging into your sides, pinching the skin at your hip and rib bones, fills the air and knocks the wind out of you all at the same time as you realize the position the two of you have wrestled yourselves in.

Strands of dark hair moving against your forehead, your fingers instinctively reach up to brush the strands from both of your faces. Ben’s lips so close to yours that all it would take is a heavy breath and you’d be kissing. The relaxing rhythm of your heart now feeling like a hammer in your chest.

Ben’s fingers run along your jawline, resting at your chin.

“What if we did?” He asks. Searches your face for any reaction or indication that the subject should be changed. That he should stop asking, and the two of you should move away and pretend like this never happened. Go back to how things were—which was clearly not subtle and most definitely screaming ‘I’m in love with my best friend’.

“Why have you never asked until now?” You answer with a question.

“Losing my best friend is not the traumatic life experience I’d like to put on my resume beside divorced parents and an absent father.” He jokes, his smile playful, as the pad of his thumb draws small circles against the skin of your jaw.

“No wonder you’re unemployed.” The two of you laugh, breaths mingling in the joys of this moment. Of the jokes that come easy and the touches that seem to come even easier. But then there's silence, and you’re leaning closer to him, a feathering touch of your lips against his as you murmur, “maybe you should stop being so afraid, Ben Solo. And have me.”

And if you’ve ever felt like there was something missing—some cataclysmic event in your life that could rewire your nervous system and make you feel like you’ve been barely making it, your heart barely beating and keeping you alive: Ben’s mouth is the puzzle piece as he brings your mouths together in a bruising kiss.

#ben solo x reader #ben solo fluff #ben solo x y/n #ben solo imagine #adam driver fanfiction #ben solo fanfic #ben solo x you #adam driver x reader #star wars fanfiction #ben solo #ben solo one shot #kylo ren fluff #adam driver fluff #ben solo fic #kylo ren x reader

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undecided45 · 6 months

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Mike x Sabira

This is just a random lil thing I wrote up with a non existent character that I thought up so lmk what y’all think.

The context is that Mike is over at her house smoking pot. (Of course Abby is being babysat by someone Mike hired.) Ms. Sabira here decided to make a move on him after they’ve spent the past three years obviously pining after each other.

Content warning: 18+ pls or else I’m telling your parents on you. Kinda fluff, pretty smutty. Brief mentioning of ganja, finger sucking, making out. Kinda sub!Mike. Dom!Reader. That’s all I can think of.

Here they were, sitting under Sabira’s bedroom window sharing a blunt. It’s been a long time since the last time he smoked so it didn’t take long for the skunk to hit him. Since Sabira doesn’t smoke often, it took effect on her fairly quickly. They spent about an hour just sitting on the floor and talking about their random thoughts, until Sabira decided to take the convo into a different direction.

She thinks tonight was the night to make a possible move on Mike. She’s seen the way he looks at her like she’s the only woman to ever exist. She hears how gentle his tone is no matter what mood he’s in. Sabira’s caught him raking his eyes up and down her figure one too many times to not know what goes on behind to puppy dog eyes of his. They yearn for her. Sabira yearns for them too.

Mike is growing anxious under Sabira’s unrelenting gaze, he doesn’t know whether he’s just paranoid but it feels like she been staring him in the eyes for five minutes straight. The poor man is frozen in place. Sabira gently scooches towards Mike’s place on the floor. She uses the knuckle of her index finger to tilt his chin up slightly, maintaining eye contact with Mike. “You have really pretty eyes,” she states, “Is this ok?”

“Yes,” Mike answers. With that, Sabira inserts her thumb in between his parted lips. Mike takes it into his mouth with ease. Keeping his eyes locked into hers, Mike sucks on the tip of Sabira’s thumb with ease. The sensation of his went mouth, his tongue circling her finger, it all goes right in between Sabira’s legs. At this rate, her panties are gonna be ruined by the time that they get to third base. She wants to savor every moment of this. She wants so much more of him, she wants to feel every part of him inside and out. Sabira slides her thumb out of Mike’s mouth and pulls his face closer to hers by the chin.

Their lips begin with a gentle brush, and progress to a loving slow dance. Mike places a hand, behind Sabira’s neck, coaxing her to come closer. She does the same, running her finger through his dark curls. Soon, tongue is introduced to their tango. Mike is so enamored by Sabira’s plump, plush lips that he doesn’t even bother to worry about breathing. Sabira has to do everything in her power to resist climbing onto Mike’s lap. Savor it. Savor every bit of it. His hands are so gentle, and his lips are so in tune with her.

Reluctantly, Sabira pulls back to make sure their situation doesn’t go beyond what she’s comfortable with. Mike detaches himself from her lips with a groan, which Sabira definitely took mental note of.

#josh hutcherson #mike schmidt #five nights at freddy's #mike x reader #josh hutcherson x reader #mike schmidt x reader #fanfic #smut #mike schmidt smut #fanfiction

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rageprufrock · 1 year

Note

I desperately need an in-depth review of the gay bread from you.

SO. We did not do a broad sampling of the sex bread for numerous reasons that do not bear further discussion at this juncture, and we ended up buying a small loaf (8 slices) of the butterscotch flavor with an overall "lol we gotta" energy.

I was prepared for this bread to be tooth-rottingly sweet, since in general, Thai flavors tend toward more sweet in general, and this was fucking butterscotch flavored sex bread. For reasons good, bad, stupid and delightful, we didn't get around to actually eating it for almost 36 hours between travel and shenanigans. Also because at one point we were in a lakeside hotel getting absolutely stoned out of our gourds. Anyway, we woke up the next morning, and in the fuzzy kindness of our weed hangover, I said to my long-suffering partner in crime, "Hey, we have to eat the sex bread now," and she said, "Fuck," but then we ate the sex bread.

The sex bread was fucking delicious. I don't know that it really tasted like butterscotch, but it was definitely more sweet than your ordinary Wonder Bread, but with a mass-produced Asian bakery loaf texture. It also wasn't so sweet it was unpleasant to eat just rawdog style, no coffee or anything, just weed hungover next to a lake, although I wouldn't be inclined to put any kind of jam or sweet spread on it. We did decide it would be absolutely bitchin French toast and or a bread pudding. We ate all 8 slices in a post-ganja haze, but were not able test its efficacy as a chaser or flavor pre-game for dick. Just extrapolating, I do not think it would be a great chaser or pre-game for dick, flavor or texture wise.

Anyway in conclusion the sex bread fucking slapped and I hope KinnPorsche is really fucking pleased with themselves at how devastatingly effective and psychologically traumatizing this product placement was.

#sex bread #farmhouse bread #kinnporsche

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rpstartersinc · 2 years

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* 𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐂: 𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝟏.

feel free to change pronouns / wording!

“ fuck the middle class! ”

“ fuck scented candles. ”

“ we’re not victims. ”

“ you’re glimpsing! look properly. ”

“ if the cops turn up, you haven’t seen us. ”

“ lie to the police? that’s purgery that is. ”

“ we bonded over ganja and hip hop. ”

“ if that wasn’t bad enough, i’m going bald and all. ”

“ the fuck have you brought a pigeon for? ”

“ put the chloroform away. ”

“ you must have the wrong man. ”

“ i don’t have that kind of money, man. ”

“ i’m pouring my heart out, you’re on a dating app. ”

“ have you tried it? it’s unbelievable. ”

“ i don’t know why i trust these morons. ”

“ every fucker wants something. ”

“ who gives a shit where anyone sticks their dick anymore. ”

“ dicks are gonna go in soft, warm holes, end of. ”

“ now we’re living! ”

“ he was aiming to miss. ”

“ chill out, panickin’ skywalker. ”

“ if you’re looking for someone to blame you can piss off and blame yourself. ”

“ i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have shouted. ”

“ i’ve got a duran duran cd. ”

“ aren’t you scared? being out here on your own at night. ”

“ your pony’s a cunt. ”

“ he’s not a man to make an enemy of. ”

“ sometimes it’s only later when you look back you realize when the turning point came, the moment in your life when everything changed. ”

“ it’s morning glory, doesn’t mean anything. ”

“ it’s like fort knox in there, bolted doors, cctv. ”

“ do that again, i fucking dare you, do it again. ”

“ it’s just hit me hard, that’s all man, you know just the thought that one minute you can be there, full of life, next minute you’re fucking gone. “

“ you can’t think of a bloody thing, can you? ”

“ i trust you’ve brought forth my… magical ‘erbs? ”

“ the state’s trying to silence me, but my powers are too strong. their systems and restraints will never shackle my spirits. ”

“ that’s a common misconception, ninety percent of sewage waste is actually water. ”

“ let’s hear your brilliant plan, genius. ”

“ i’ll be good cop, you be bad cop. ”

“ and you’re sure they were following you? ”

“ i defy any man, yourself included sunshine, to resist under those sort of circumstances. ”

“ she might’ve had a bit of work done, but… she’s in cracking shape, actually. ”

“ cometh the hour, cometh the man. ”

“ oh my god we’re gonna dieeee! ”

“ no sign of anyone. ”

“ it’s having a kid. it makes you more vulnerable. ”

“ you’re an internet sensation. ”

“ i don’t have a bucket list, i have a suck it list. a smoke it list, a drink it list. snort it list. ”

“ you’ve never fought a man like me before. ”

“ it’s because you use big words. ”

“ i’ve got a thing for big boys. the chunkier the better. ”

“ well if you tell yourself puke is a possibility, you might puke. you’ve gotta tell yourself you won’t puke. ”

“ let all the tension go and allow yourself to be held. ”

“ i’ve made a decision and i’ve not thought about the consequences. ”

“ are you high? ”

“ i prefer it alfresco. ”

“ i’ve just really seen your knob there. ”

“ you’re like a bloody stalker, man. ”

“ i’m addicted to women’s knees. ”

“ i was thinking… i need help. you need help, to talk about our thoughts and maybe we could be like, you know, therapy for each other. like a two man counselling group. ”

“ it’s a hospital, they don’t do advanced bookings you bellend. ”

“ whatever you’ve heard, you need to unhear. ”

“ you, are the shit on my shoe. an irritation, unpleasant, has to be dealt with. you can’t go around with shit on your shoe, it ruins the overall effect. try scraping it off but a bit always lingers in the cracks. so, in the end, inevitable, no way ‘round it, you have to remove the shoe - and deal with the shit properly. ”

“ stop googling shit like that man, someone checks your phone you’re gonna be in some trouble, aren’t you? ”

“ are you pretending to cry? ”

“ i just wish i’d never told you now. ”

“ how do you fancy being my girlfriend? just for the day. ”

“ anything is possible, it’s about the choices you make. ”

“ come out, i can see you. ”

“ put the ornamental sword down, let’s have a proper chat like grown ups. ”

“ will you mind your bloody language? ”

“ the heart’s a fickle beast. ”

“ you ask for a day, i give you a day and you introduce him to a world of petty crime. ”

“ i felt like being someone else for the day. ”

“ i paid you to piss him off, not make his fucking year. ”

“ that’s how cows always look. ”

“ you haven’t started smoking, have you? ”

“ police! get your fucking hands up! ”

“ don’t sneak up on me dickhead. ”

“ we all decided never to give you class a’s ever again, for as long as we all shall live. ”

“ you’re pathologically inclined to ruin everyone’s night. ”

“ you’re a buzz-ruiner and you ruin drugs for people. ”

“ there are things, right? feelings that i have buried. ”

“ you never know when it’s gonna be too late. ”

“ i am terrified of what it would be like to not be with you. ”

“ jesus! what are you doing creeping around on the floor? you scared the shit out of me! ”

“ if you go, i’m coming. ”

“ i’m a lover, not a fighter. ”

“ next thing you know i just, i had not choice so i had to run him over. ”

“ what do you mean you ran him over? ”

“ i’m sorry that i wasn’t having the time to go to fucking… what’s it called where you learn all the shit? school - to learn to be a smartass! ”

“ it’s the perfect crime, it’s so fucking stupid no one would think anyone would be daft enough to try. ”

“ you’re acting like a fucking amateur. ”

“ i’m appealing to his common sense. ”

“ you see that? that was like some proper you’ve been framed shit. ”

“ you’re making me cringe. ”

“ i never imagined how low you’d sink. but then again, how could you not? ”

“ the last thing you’re gonna see is my face, me, grinning, as you beg to take those words back. ”

“ is that a real policeman? ”

“ do you wanna leave here alive tonight, you? ”

“ shut up! stop making words, dude! ”

“ don’t come in. ”

“ i must’ve done something fucking terrible in a previous life. ”

“ you’re going to have a lovely long sleep, and when you wake up, you’re going to feel wonderfully refreshed and unable to remember anything from the last twenty four hours. ”

“ spontaneous theft. christ, it’s been ages since i’ve done one of them. ”

“ you know the bloody rules, ask me no questions, i’ll tell you no lies. ”

“ you will always remember the moment before you become dickless. ”

“ i have been badly betrayed. ”

“ he said he was gonna cut my dick off! ”

“ did you bring my car back? because if you brought it back thanks a million, i’ll give you a free embalming next time you need it. ”

“ i’ve always enjoyed theatre, i like dance and literature, and um… cock. ”

“ faced with this, i’m really scared, man. ”

“ i feel like a little lad who needs his mum. ”

“ you realize this is crazy don’t you? ”

“ i think i could make you really happy. ”

“ everything would be amazing… thirty four percent of the time. ”

“ i’m thinking dead, it’s fucking freaking me out! ”

“ being dead put a lot of things in perspective for me. ”

“ so tell me, how does it feel to be dead? ”

#( sentence. )#sentence meme #sentence starters #rp meme #rp starters #tv series #brassic #comedy #drama #i had to limit them so it's not suuuuper long but fuck i love the dialogue in this show

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sharontheganja · 1 year

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#cannabislove #legalizepot #smokeganja #dispensary #weed #indica sativa #kushstrains #ganja effects #Male cannabis plants #hemp smoking

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dreamyclouds69 · 1 year

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Why it's Really not Smoking Anything

As if meth didn't have enough lies and misinformation to deal with, the fucking anti-smoking narcissists had to stick their noses in and claim that where there's fire, there's smoke. To all those real pioneers of junk science:

It's not smoke for fuck's sake! It's vaporized methamphetamine, so shut up! They won't shut up. Remember these are PhD's in junk science so they studied for about 10 years on how to make shit up to support their obsessive, unscientific, hair-brained ideas they picked up off TV or from a book called "Old Wives Tales." They claim that vaping (anything) is equivalent to smoking as far as its negative effects on the lungs. They also invented this enormous landfill of mistruth that tries to make inhalling vapor, as a route of administration, a brand new invention by Big Tobacco and a really bad, fictional drug dealer who kills children for sport, even though they never have.

The FACT is they've been administering drugs by vaporization for centuries even back to ancient Egypt. Asthma and most respiratory meds are delivered through vapor. The anti-drug cults don't care about your health because you vaporize something, just like they didn't care if you died from cigarettes. They only care about their own narcissistic egos, and when they decide that you should think how they think and do what they do, live how they live. Hell or high water can't stop these obsessive, neurotic, illogical, zealots from doing anything that they think could slander their target and help them achieve their goal. Which, by the way, isn't to solve any health problem or to be helpful in any way. It's to impose their will onto you and me.

(I'll try to keep the nerd stuff to a minimum.)

When something is burned, it produces smoke in most cases because it rarely ever burns completely. The process is called combustion, or a combustion reaction. You start with some kind of fuel, like gasoline or wood or cannabis, and then combine that with Oxygen and a source of energy sufficient to break some molecular bond and get the whole thing started on fire.

Combustion is a Chemical Reaction and it gives off energy as heat, and uses it to break down molecules and rearrange them into different compounds. You may start with some weed and a Bic lighter, but you finish with CO, CO2, aC (soot), and probably a few hundred other cannabinoids and terpines and the other numerous compounds in ganja. In between the Bic lighter stage and the dead bowl full of ashes stage, there is one common product: Smoke.

Smoke is a collection of tiny solid, liquid and gas particles. Although smoke can contain hundreds of different chemicals and fumes, visible smoke is mostly carbon (soot), tar, oils and ash. Smoke occurs when there is incomplete combustion (not enough oxygen to burn the fuel completely). In complete combustion, everything is burned, producing just water and carbon dioxide. (1.)

So, it's mostly sticky, water INsoluble shit that can collect in your lungs. Since our lungs are 80% water and there's not a lot of solvents running around, the shit stays around longer than is healthy. It is eventually kind of flushed out but not immediately like a water Soluble compound.

What is Soluble in water? Methamphetamine. Meth is also a bit unusual in that it's melting point and it's boiling point (or vaporization) are really close together. In other words, it can go from a solid, a shard, to a liquid, a puddle, to a gas, a cloud, all in about 63°F. Compare that to other substances and it's a very small variance. Take water, for example, it's 180°F. Many metals are thousands of degrees as well as regular salt too.

Starting with meth at room temperature in the "Solid State", it's heated to about 347°F where it turns into a "Liquid State". As the temperature rises, the individual molecules in the liquid get excited as the heat source is providing them more energy. However, energy is not uniform for every molecule so just under the boiling point of 410°, like 402-408°F, some of the more highly energized liquid molecules can make that jump to the final "Gaseous Stage", which is the cloud.

The compound, meth, never burns at the proper temperature. It's molecular structure makes it a very inefficient fuel so it will not combust at all while at these temperatures. Once you inhale the cloud, the gaseous, water soluble meth molecules go back to the liquid state as the temperature lowers, then the meth/water solution sits on the capillaries in the lungs and then passes through to the bloodstream. The water does not and is exhaled along with CO2 as part of the normal respiratory routine. It's possible that some excess meth wasn't utilized by the capillaries and it's also exhaled.

Let's review... No, let's not but I want to drive this point home. To all you anti-drug cultists, you obsessed narcissists, you displaced anti-smoking zealots, and especially you corrupt and ethically bankrupt, low IQ true miscreants in the Treatment Industry and at DEA,

THERE'S NO FUCKING SMOKE!

(1.) Bing; Science Learning Hub – Pokapū Akoranga Pūtaiao, University of Waikato, www.sciencelearn.org.nz

#spunfungirls #cloudygirl #cloudygirlglass #spunfunglass #spun fun #Truth about meth

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phinilez · 1 year

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#health benefits of marijuana #joint #ganja effects #buy seeds online #weed ukkw%#420 cannabis #weed pipe #cannabis facts #marijuana seeds usa

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monstermonstre · 6 months

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31 days of horror 2023 (part 2/?)

Every year in October I challenge myself to watch 31 horror movies, 1 for each day, with varying success. If you’re new here, I love horror and so the challenge is more about the commitment, than pushing myself to do something I wouldn’t enjoy or do otherwise (thankfully).

The first half of October went too well, so it was bound to go south eventually. For this second part, there were a couple of terrible watches (although I can't say I didn't see them coming) and there were several days in which I didn't watch anything because it felt like pulling teeth. Fortunately I managed to get back on track with some great shorts (and Chucky).

12. Werewolf by Night (2022): Against my better instincts, I gave this M*rvel short a try. I thought well, the fact that it's from M*rvel Studios doesn't have to matter. It could be a nice short with some cool werewolfing even if they slap one of their magical stones onto it. Well it wasn't. It was terrible, and it got me mad at the people praising it for being "different" and "artistic". 55 minutes of my life wasted.

13. Chucky S3E2: This is when I started worrying that this new season wasn't working for me, that they had finally made a Chucky story I didn't like (I mean, like a lot of people, I didn't really enjoy Child's Play 3; but at the same time it was OK, I've seen worse).

14. Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985): I did watch this one on Friday the 13th so ignore the number next to it. Continuing the franchise, I was surprised to find this one as enjoyable as I did. The kills get pretty repetitive and there aren't as many characters you root for as in 4 but the cast was acting their hearts out and that alone really carried me through the film. Also Reggie was delightful and I was so happy to see Miguel A. Núñez Jr.

15. The Fall of the House of Usher E1&2: I didn't go into this thinking I was going to like it but I did think it was going to be a "fun to hate" experience. I was wrong. Nothing about it was fun. I could barely get through the first episode. I pushed myself to try the second episode, thinking maybe...I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe Flanag*n's worst so far, and that's saying something. Anyone saying it is good is insane and has never seen a horror movie before.

16. Ganja & Hess (1973): Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, ... One of the most gorgeous films I've ever seen and packed with so much to say. Must watch for fans of cinema and vampires.

17. Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988): Another "didn't expect to enjoy this as much as I did" entry. Incredible commitment to the bit, delightful special effects, some of the worst case of "how do you do, fellow kids" actors in their 40s playing teenagers you'll ever see, and some genuinely funny jokes.

18. Creep (2014): We won't mention that I watched this twice this month.

19. Chucky S3E3: Reminded me why I've loved the show so far. Packed with what I love the most about the franchise and featuring one of its best kills. Maybe the most batshit lines of dialogue on American TV right now.

20. In Search of Darkness (2019): Don't get me wrong, I did watch those 4 and a half hours of talking heads like it was nothing but I was left a little frustrated. It felt like it stayed too at the surface despite its runtime and most of it were arguments we've heard before a thousand times. However when I realised there were 2 more of these documentaries I got excited. Hopefully the other entries will go deeper (but even if they don't, I'll probably still have a good time).

I love horror and watch horror movies year-long. However after two weeks straight of horror every day, I got a bit tired. I took a break for several days and when I felt ready to get back into it, I had 4 days to make up for. So I turned to short movies. And, frankly, I need to stop watching shorter films only when I need to make up for time lost in a challenge because I am missing out on gems like

21. The Tell-Tale Heart (1953): Gorgeous animated short adapting the famous Poe story, with James Mason narrating. I'm gonna link it here because if you have 10 minutes to spare you should watch it. This and the following entry.

youtube

22. The Sandman (1991): Incredible stop-motion animated short by Paul Berry, whose style you might recognise from Nightmare Before Christmas. Like the previous entry, if you like horror, just give it a watch.

youtube

23. Wild Love (2018): This one was just silly and great fun. Reminded me of Treevenge (2008) in its plot and humour. It's on Youtube too but behind an age-restriction, so if you're not logged in (or don't have a neat little extension that bypasses those) you might not see it there.

24. Pontypool (2008): Pretty original concept for a zombie movie and some solid performances but I could not get into it. At all.

And that's it for part 2! I couldn't complete this challenge last year but it looks like it's going well so far. One last week to go!

#mo's horrorthon 2023

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uhnomahlee · 2 years

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introducing hange to a certain herb // aot headcanon

agender!hange x black plus-size gnc reader (oc name: haruna)

synopsis: hange has some of that sweet ganja

includes: cannabis use, essense of sex(18+), sub!hange, fluff, etc.

{mdni/f}

a/n: i would like to believe this is proofread🧌this is not a modern au :3 enjoy!

plans for an expedition to the outskirts of the island were being made, the location of their journey leading them near haruna’s homeland

hange had tagged along, even though plans were only discussed with levi, erwin, and a couple other soldiers

inserts theirself into the itinerary even though they have a whole project to complete

“isn’t it due in two days?” haruna asked

“i extended the deadline,” hange proclaimed

erwin interjected “…you can’t do that”

hange only looked to haruna as if their commander hadn’t spoken “…i’m coming anyways”

asked if it was okay to examine the environment

“why are you asking? this is your homeland.”

hange quirked a brow as if the answer was clear. “our homeland. your place of birth. am i not supposed to respect it?”

haruna gave in. “yes. you’re right. you’re right.”

the train ride to the outside of the wall consisted of a small nap—hange’s head resting on haruna’s lap. their hand stroking the brown tresses as the snores lightly emitted from their mouth

upon their arrival, haruna repeatedly warned hange of the wildlife and terrain, keeping their crossbow prepared at all times and steps cautious

hange getting flustered when their partner gets protective over them knowing damn well they’re one hell of a soldier

“do you really like me that much?” they gushed following haruna into the thick greenery

“we’ve been together for three years, hange”

too many times hange had become distracted by the various vegetation and organisms, astonishment nearly leading to their demise if haruna was not hyper-vigilant

“no, don’t touch that.”

“not edible. stop”

“it’s literally hissing at you, it does not want to be pet”

fascinated, hange bounded from one site to the next, scribbling down information in their notebook after each each examination

protective haruna’s eagle eye swatting away bugs even hovering near their precious hange

“ooh what’s this?” hange reached out to touch the unknown plant as they spoke

hovering behind them, haruna responded, “it is a type of flower.” they bent down next to hange. “my people use it for many purposes and have been since their arrival centuries ago. “you should collect some to take back”

hange brought out a medium-sized leather bag. “have you used it before?”

“i have seen its effects”

on the train ride back, it was haruna that was asleep, head blanched on hange’s shoulder

their soft black kinky coils brushed against their cheek, a sweet aroma emanating from them

hange always holds haruna’s hand when they’re asleep

they had said they needed security when they were unconscious

hange had laughed at the way they worded it but understood

actually hange assumed they needed to be posted up on watch every time they were asleep with a weapon by their side

the train had arrived back to the station, letting the group depart with goodbyes and goodnights

“i’m excited to get to study this plant. moblit would have never encouraged me to touch anything random” hange smiled giddily as they entered their home

“he trusts me more than he trusts himself with you. and it isn’t random. i literally told you what it was” haruna took off their jacket and hung it on the coat hook.

“sorry. forgot.” hange tossed their coat aside and unloaded their findings of the day on the coffee table

haruna does not play around with that shit

“hange” was all they said

they hurried to tidy everything up as their partner washed their hands

haruna made sure outside clothes were put with the rest of the laundry as soon as they walked through the door to end their day.

they also handmade both their leisurewear

“so what are we gonna do with this?” hange lifted the leather bag filled to the brim with nugs. “you were so adamant on me not telling the others yet. you know secrets make me tingly”

“because i wanted to share a part of my culture with you before anyone else” haruna plopped down on the couch, a pipe adorned with small intricate carvings in their hand

hange + emotional intimacy equals immediate tears

“hange…i-it’s okay. please don’t cry”

cue stifled sobbing

a few strokes of the hair calmed hange down, haruna’s hand resting against their cheek before they refocused the attention to the pipe

“when this plant is burned and inhaled it puts the user in a elated state—very relaxing. it is used for both non-medical and medical purposes” haruna explained grabbing a nug and breaking some down into the bowl of the pipe

hange knew they should be writing this down but didn’t want to stop looking at the process, entirely engaged

“any bad side effects” hange inquired, scooting closer as haruna grab a matchbox.

“none that i can recall. we were always told that the flower works best when we detach from our anxiety and stress” they struck a match, looking at hange as the flame came alive. “do you need some time?”

hange shook their head. “i’m ready”

lowering the match to the bowl, haruna set the herb ablaze, and then waved the match until it died out

they pressed their lips to the mouthpiece, thumb covering a small hole on the side of the bowl

as haruna inhaled, the embers glowed for the short seconds their lips were attached.

they turned their head to direct cloud of smoke away from hange’s face which was so close to theirs

haruna gestured for hange to take the next hit

“i’ll hold it for you,” haruna offered

hange leaned in and mimicked what they observed haruna doing, pressing their lips and inhaling for a couple of seconds

they blew out the smoke only coughing once, smacking their lips

“tastes”—smack, smack, smack—"green”

“it’s a plant, baby”

hange giggled, a particular numbness caressing their body

they watched their partner take another pull with wide eyes, putting a hand on their thigh

this time haruna blew their exhale upwards, licking over their lips after

hange waited patiently for haruna to bring the pipe back to their lips, their stomach fluttering at the small intimate gesture

after their second hit, hange blinked blankly, squeezing haruna’s thigh then smoothing over their dark brown skin with their thumb continuously

stimulation they usually did while not sober became ten times better being high

“how you feelin’?” haruna lowered the pipe before they could take another pull, gaze setting on hange’s giddy smile

“really good” they suddenly began stretching, body limber and relaxed.

haruna chuckled lightly, watching them closely to make sure they didn’t hit against anything

“do you need anything?”

hange put two thumbs up

regardless of the answer, haruna went and got two cups of water, set them down on the table

“fuck. you were gone for a while” hange furrowed their brows, concerned. they closed the space between them as haruna sat down again

high hange needs physical touch

“come here” haruna rubbed their thigh, beckoning for hange to sit

hange took no more than a second to settle theirself down on haruna’s lap, ass nestling into their warmth

haruna’s hand naturally rested on hange’s left hip, the other busy with lighting another match and relighting the bowl

hange was skimming their lips over their lover’s temple, pressing a kiss to the area every once in a while

massaging their hip, haruna presented the pipe to hange, letting them take another pull

a bit too hazed, hange took a longer hit, lips departing from the pipe and in an instant had smoke leaving their mouth forcefully as they coughed, hard

“it’s okay, just breathe,” haruna cooed, rubbing the middle of their back

lifting their glasses, hange wiped the tears streaming down their face, panting

that cough was the one

“drink some water, hange” haruna murmured into their ear

hange’s abdomen swirled with heat, their voice seemingly amplified to be deeper, smoother—kinda too dangerous for a first time smoker who didn’t know how horny smoking would make them

downing the cup of water, hange returned to their post on haruna’s lap, happy to be perched there

“you’re never this quiet,” haruna commented, left hand drifting toward hange’s inner thigh

i don’t know what’s going on and i am violently horny, hange proclaimed in their head, gaze dropping to haruna’s hand caressing their flesh. if i just slid these shorts to the side a bit-

“what’s on your mind, baby?”

hange almost moaned at the sound of their voice, weakening at the pet name

“n-nothing” hange was deteriorating in real time

lids low, haruna set the pipe down on the coffee table, arm securing hange’s waist so they didn’t fall as they moved

“oop” the noise slipped from hange’s mouth as their body was adjusted by haruna’s large hands

“hange, i can always tell when you’re lying to me” their fingers trailed the waistband of their shorts under their shirt

hange tensed. “…no you can’t?”

“i really think i can. turn around”

hange got up and turned, haruna’s gaze drifting from their ass to their face, a smile stretching across their face

straddling haruna’s thighs, hange threw their arms around their neck, unknowingly rolling their hips against haruna’s

the insatiable sensation at the apex of hange’s. thighs only worsened as time passed, their high heightening the pleasure

eyes screwed shut, hange wouldn’t dare look at haruna when they were in this state, embarrassment and bashfulness reddening their cheeks

they already knew those dark orbs would be staring them down, setting their entire psyche on fire

when haruna planted their grip on hange’s hips, slowing and deepening the grind, the brunette’s eyes shot open, mouth agape as a shudder overtook their body

“nothing on your mind, huh?”

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