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[monetrix-hub-360]

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[pisspope]

Reiner birthday hcs because I'm sick in the head

Y/N's Birthday specifically (and also modern!au because it's more fun)

- reiner absolutely cannot WAIT to wish u a happy birthday. Calls you at 12:00 AM on the dot and sings u happy birthday like it's his gotdamn birthright. voice is all gravelly and sleepy and shit. "did you stay up just to wish me happy birthday?" "no I set an alarm for 11:30 and hit snooze every 5 minutes so I wouldn't fall back to sleep"

- can't be with u during the day because he's working but takes every opportunity to send u little birthday emojis and shitty little Facebook stickers

- specifically the sugar cubs iykyk

- can't bake so he orders one of those fancy pre-made Walmart cakes well in advance. 100% has your favorite IP on it ((gabis idea)).

- walks into ur house shortly after work with his lil baby yoda/pokemon/hello kitty cake cradled in his arms, immaculately wrapped gifts under each arm (he rewrapped at least 3 times to get it perfect)

- gabi and falco trailing in behind him because he picked them up from middle school. gabis all "this better be a good party because I'm missing softball practice"

- it's quaint and nice and you're technically babysitting but u wouldn't have it any other way. the look of despair on reiners face when he gets hit with all of falcos draw 4 cards in uno is priceless

- soon the kids settle down and go play mario kart or something. just u and reiner alone cleaning up in the kitchen and dining room. u love the hubbub of the little gremlins but this is just as wonderful, if not more so

- he wraps his arms around you as your wiping down the table "sorry I couldn't do more on a work day baby. promise I'll make it up to you." like this wasn't super fun and perfect as is. "this is wonderful, rei. you don't need to worry about it."

- but of course he does worry about it. picks u up on a free weekend for a nice dinner. brings flowers, buys a bottle of wine, checks everything off the list. not everyone gets two perfect birthdays, but with reiner you do

- he drives you home, the world is quiet and tiny in his little beater of a car. the top of his head grazes the ceiling and a bump in the road would probably leave a bruise. god he's adorable

- he parks the car and absolutely BOLTS from the driver's seat to get the door for you. an absolute gentleman, walks you to your front door, gives you a chaste kiss. "happy birthday sweetheart" u grab him by the tie, pull him in for more. no resistance from him, that's for sure

- "I know you're just being romantic with those butterfly kisses, rei. but if it's really my birthday, I'm gonna need a little more than that."

- and who is he to deny you?

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[scattered-irises]

Bishounen Breed Spotlight: Michael Arclight

The CCF is a master of their word, even if the promise takes years to fulfill...In hell, time is distorted sometimes lol

@larmegliamori​ Remember this gift, for I shall call upon your payment in the future.

I spent many weeks researching this bishounen breed and trying to rid myself of my prejudice against the Michaels. It was only partially successful. On my journeys, I talked to various Michael breeders and tried to understand what made him such a popular bishounen. From what I gathered, he is a friendly, nigh fuss-free bishounen that is free of most bishounens’ frigid, haughty or difficult personalities. 

To learn more about the world of card game bishounen breeding, please see this post

Without further delay, here is the fulfillment of my promise:

History

After witnessing the absolutely destructive breeding habits of various gen IV breeders, a small community of bishounen breeders believed that changes needed to be made. 

You may have noticed that the Michael lacks the elaborate hair, elongated limbs and long faces of most bishounen. This is because instead of continuously inbreeding a singular line of bishounen for desirable traits, Michael breeders attempted to stabilize the breed by introducing a completely foreign lineage! 

That’s right! They mixed a bishounen line with a pink magical girl line! The artifacts (my guess: magical girl bones) of the magical girls used to create the Michael are a secret known only to Michael breeders. I wasn’t privy to this knowledge. 

On the bishounen side, the Michael is descended from the Siegfried and Kaiba lines. 

Breed Information

Before I begin, I must say that the Michael is a slightly contentious breed in the bishounen breeding community. Due to his heavily mixed lineage, his status as a bishounen has been a subject of debate for years. There are rumors that bribery and dark crimes were involved in his certification as a bishounen. 

ANYWAYS...

The Michael is perfect for beginners who wish to take care of a bishounen from generation IV. He possesses the characteristic trait of dual-colored hair that was started in this generation. Unlike most of the gIV breeds, he doesn’t have high maintenance needs or many health issues! 

He’s at home in urban or rural environments and will happily explore his surroundings. His curious, highly intelligent and gentle demeanor makes him perfect for bishounen enthusiasts who enjoy card game bishounen but dislike their difficult personalities. 

The standard Michael has coral-pink hair that covers about 40-55% of his head. The edges of his hair should be chocolate brown. To ensure that the Michael maintains his bishounen status, breeders are extremely careful (more careful than other bishounen breed breeders!) to keep their Michaels within acceptable breed margins. The Michael’s signature big eyes (which is one of the main contentions behind his certification) must take up between 15-25% of his face. If not, the Michael is culled (most humane method according to the Multi-Dimensional Bishounen Breeding Board is a special-made Bishounen Sledgehammer.) 

Care

No need for a mess of hair products or a bishounen groomer nearby to maintain the Michael’s hair. No need to buy fancy WholeFood’s stuff to keep him full. 

The Michael will eat mostly anything as long as it is given or made with love ^u^ You can thank his magical girl blood for that!

He loves reading, learning and hanging out with his loved ones!  Michaels love presents and surprises. For less-spontaneous owners, small walks, chats and cooking together will do as well. All in all, a Michael is a lifelong friend that will always be there for you.

He does have a little bit of an abandonment issue though. Like most bishounen, you HAVE to be 100% certain that you’ll stay with him. Michaels abandoned at Walmart parking lots are one of the most difficult to rehabilitate. They almost never escape from secondhand bishounen stores because although most of them seem fine at first, they will display emotional instabilities a few hours in with their new owner. Only the most experienced, compassionate and patient of bishounen owners buy secondhand Michaels. 

An owner who is needlessly stern or cruel will NOT be able to get along with a Michael. Michaels, as easygoing as they are, expect love and respect in return. 

Wouldn’t you be the same? 

HEALTH ISSUES

The only singular issue the Michael has is rage. 

His fury is often well-deserved though. He is extremely patient, even with the most demanding of owners. If a Michael snaps at you, you’ve probably had it coming for weeks! 

With a mix of magical girl and bishounen blood, the Michael is not to be trifled with when furious! He is adept with a variety of weapons (thanks magical girls) and is willing to fight to the death to either defend you or himself. 

His rage completely reverses his personality into a bloodthirsty and sadistic avenger. The only thing that can stop him is compassion, love and understanding—the things he originally tried to give you. 

Recommended Companions

He gets along with pretty much any bishounen! Of course, the Thomas breed gets along EXCEPTIONALLY well with the Michael. I know most Thomas owners have a Michael as well in order to keep their Thomases calm. Without a Michael, Thomases are notoriously difficult to live with.

Another recommended breed is the Christopher. The Christopher’s haughty personality is softened around a Michael. This will often make the Christopher kinder to his owner as well. 

Another ‘chill’ bishounen breed is the Byron, who will be a mentor-figure to the Michael. They can spend a whole day at the library together and not get bored! Just set them free anywhere, honestly. They’ll be back for dinner, guaranteed. 

Conclusion

The reason why I’m prejudiced against the Michaels? He’s just a bit too low maintenance and ‘chill’ for me. I like a bishounen that I can fight and struggle with haha. Also I was on the side that lost during the bishounen certification battle...I didn’t think he was one. 

Anyways here’s this screenshot of Michael where he has very thick and plush eyelashes and I guess I understand where the other side was coming from 🙄

All in all, Michael is fantastic for beginners and chill owners alike! Just give him what he gives you: love, compassion, respect and companionship. 

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[licncourt]

Any recent domestic loustat headcanons?

Always!! Blorbo² rotation time

Since they've been together so long, they've kinda run out of "materials" for their anniversaries (ie wood, gold, pearl, ruby, etc only goes through 60), so Lestat has taken it upon himself to come up with more that are personal to them. For example: 100 is blood, 150 is velvet, 200 is alligator (Louis thinks the last one is basically just leather but Lestat insists it's not because he means the whole alligator, not just the skin)

For all his protests, Louis actually does like some fancy shit. He's not as bougie for the sake of it as his husband, but there are...certain things he enjoys and certain understandings of those preferences with Lestat, enthusiastic giver of extravagant gifts. Rejecting all of Lestat's expensive presents in the Interview era was a principle thing. Now though...he has nothing to prove

They always get season tickets for the theater and have absolutely scathing opinions about almost every show. They've been attending some of these plays for over two centuries. The odds of the current version being the best they've seen is extremely low and also they're just mean

If Lestat's being Too Much, Louis puts on cartoons. All the color and noise and movement wear him out. He doesn't care about the stories, but Dinotrux and Boohbah have the same hypnotic effect on his 18th century peasant brain as shampoo bottles at Walmart

Louis gets overstimulated easily sometimes (downside of vampire senses with his personality) and has very effective earplugs for these occasions. This wouldn't be a problem except Lestat is wearing headphones 25/8 so one of the most common reasons they argue now is just fucking not hearing each other

Once Lestat learns to say his feelings out loud, he thinks saying "I love you" is an all-purpose get-out-of-jail-free card and the thing is it sort of works if he puts his back into it and looks extra cute. The Louis version of this is the sad u,w,u face (usually with big, sparkly, teary eyes) and now that Lestat's given an emotional inch, he collapses like a Jenga tower when confronted with this. Basically they're not above psychological warfare

Sometimes Louis makes Lestat cook with him because he read it was a healthy habit to have in relationships. Obviously they can't eat it, so they donate it as Louis' good deed of the week

Lestat is insanely into holiday decorating and they have That House every Christmas, Halloween, and Easter (those are the only ones Louis will allow decorations for). Louis actually finds it very charming and always dishes out the cash for Lestat to make use of all the decorators and adornments his heart desires

Louis was not a huge fan of Lestat having Mojo, in part because of what an obnoxious dog person he became, but to make it fair he got a couple birds. Anyway, within weeks Louis became a more insufferable bird person than Lestat had ever been about Mojo. He has two lovebirds in a 5' x 5' antique rosewood cage in the shape of a French cathedral and they eat fresh figs and citrus from the farmer's market

Once they tried to have a "night out" by feeding on hammered bar patrons but instead of dancing and making out they just had a drunk couple fight in the parking lot with lots of crying and yelling

#answered #vc #otp: do you love me now? #loustat #hc tag

[vanessa-herbert]

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