#for the third fucking time - i'm not your goddamn mother

[chemdisaster]

god i can't fucking stand people who come into a community having an issue with someone and decide to make it everyone else's problem. as someone who's been both the victim and the server owner forced to sort through their dirty laundry - quit trying to guilt mods into banning people you don't like. quit asking them to be the judge and jury of your interpersonal issues. you are on the internet. you have a block button. use it. the world doesn't fucking revolve around you.

#prattledisaster #once a-fucking-gain. a mod's responsibility is to keep the general peace and deal with misconduct within whatever community they're modding #not to get sucked into playing justice because someone never learnt how to set their own boundaries and avoid people who make them upset #for the third fucking time - i'm not your goddamn mother #this isn't a playground #this isn't school #no one's gonna hold your hand and call the parents of the kids who upset you #because we all know that the real problem isn't the existence of that person on the outskirts of your life #the real problem is that you want everyone to hate them as much as you do #it's social power and ostracization and the game of who's more well-liked all over again #so shut the fuck up and keep your shit to yourself #for god's sake

[ohtobeleah]

But the fact we know Dot will eventually call Rooster 'Dad' makes my heart swell

Terms of Endearment Masterlist

AAAHHHH my heart just burst inside my chest thinking about this. I feel like it would just slip out the first time, and Bradley would be caught so off guard that he kinda just freezes? But not because he doesn't want to be known as dad, but because you’ve just never spoken about it before or mentioned if you were comfortable with it or if Dot should even be calling Bradley her dad because well, he wasn't biologically.

“You're her father in all the ways that matter though Bradley, so if she's comfortable enough with you to call you dad then I'm okay with it too.” You barely blink after Bradley brings it up. Dot had called him dad at the kindergarten pick-up. She’d come racing out with a drawing she had done just for him, Like she’d done in daycare a million times before. Although this time she’d come racing up to him, jumped into his arms, and squealed two words Rooster knew he’d never forget and would never stop hearing in his dreams.

“Hi Dad!!”

“Okay, well good chat babe.” Bradleys just pressing his lips together and nodding softly, hoping that it wasn't just a one time thing. It's not. Dot calls Bradley dad whenever she isn't calling him Rooster, which had replaced Tooster a few months ago because her speech therapy had actually been working much to Bradleys shock horror. He missed Tooster.

But as Odette gets older, her attitude evolves and when she's fifteen? The spitting image of her mother and a pain in the ass, Dot is calling her uncle Jake to come pick her up from a house party she’d snuck out to attend. Only the cops had shown up and she high tailed it out of there so fast she ended up down at the beach crying. Jake doesnt come and get her, he rings Bradley who's jumping out of bed so fast he doesn't even put shorts on, boxers will just have to do.

“You’re not even my real dad!” She's yelling, a sobbing mess in the passenger seat of Bradleys Bronco, he’d just finished giving her the third degree but told her if she’s gonna do this type of stuff she has to tell him because he just wants her to be safe. “Where do you get off telling me what to do?” And Bradley hates himself for it because he knows it's not good for the Bronco but he's pulling over on the side of the road and slamming on his brakes so hard it sends both him and Odette forward for a moment before their backs hit the seats again.

“Listen here kid–” Bradleys gritting his teeth, clenching his jaw and pointing his index finger at the fifteen year old whos sitting next to him with alcohol running though her system and he fucking knows she high as a kite just by the red in her eyes. “I may not be your biological dad? But I'm here aren't I?” Rooster points out the elephant in the room. “Ive changed my fair fucking share of shitty dippers and I held your hand while I taught you how to rollerskate and ride a bike and I mashed your stupid bananas just so you could throw them in my face anyway.” Dot was dumbfounded, Bradley had never raised his voice at her like this but someone had to smack some sense into this kid before it was too late. “I pay half your school tuition and I make sure you don’t starve to death whenever your mothers working late and need I remind you I’m your legal goddamn guardian, your last name is Bradshaw! So no–I’m not your ‘real dad’ but I don’t need you giving me shit when I’m here and always have been here and always will be here and that deadbeat dickhead isnt and never fucking was.”

It’s silent for a moment while Odette just takes in what the fuck just happened—usually Bradley was pretty passive, never one to raise his voice. But she’d clearly upset him. He’s putting the Bronco into gear again, shifting the gear stick in frustration as he pulls back onto the main road cautiously—his attention now back on the road as he whips the steering wheel around with one hand.

“Your mother would be beside herself if something happened to you kid, so just do me a favour here? and tell me where you’re going, no questions asked.” Again, Roosters met with silence as the fifteen year old just tries to process everything Bradley had just said when her head is spinning and she can’t tell if her fingers were real or not.

“Do you reckon he knew I was defective?” Dots letting her head rest back against the seat as she tries to hide her tears while looking out the window. “That’s why he didn’t want me?” Odette Bradshaw was too young to remember what you’d been through to keep her safe, let alone know why her biological dad wasn’t in the picture.

“You aren’t defective Dot—“ Roosters sighing, he’s still fucking pissed but he can sympathise. “He just isn’t a good person, it was never you.” If there was a conversation Bradley Bradshaw knew not to start without your permission it was the topic of Dots biological father. “But I love you? Isn’t that enough?”

“Please—“ Odette scoffing, picking at her cuticles till they started to bleed a little. Huh, guess they are real after all. “You love mum and you love Riley and you love Nick—“ She’s pausing, her bottom lip quivering as she turned to look at Rooster. “But I was just the package deal.”

“You have no idea how much I love you kid—“ Bradley’s chuckling to himself as he flicks the indicator on. “You’re my daughter, end of story.”

“Yeah but like, you don’t have a choice?” Bradley could tell by the way Dot was slurring her words that she was gonna be sick by the time they pulled into the drive.

“No I don’t have a choice with Riley and Nick—“ Rooster explained. “Because I created them, I have to love them regardless, but you? I choose to love you and I choose to put up with your recklessness and I choose to get up in the middle of the night to come get your drunk ass because I love you and I choose to love you.”

“Really?”

“If you throw up in the car I may have to re-evaluate but yeah kid, you’re stuck with the ‘not real’ dad for life.” By the time Rooster is pulling into the drive your standing at the front door in your dressing gown, arms crossed—glasses on, looking all kinds of angry.

“Oh fuck she looks pissed—“ Dots groaning all the while Rooster is laughing.

“Hey you wanna be a rebel you gotta own up to the consequences of your own actions.”

“Please don’t tell her I’m high—“

“I’m not gonna tell her shit are you kidding me?” Rooster raises his eyebrows in utter disbelief. “Im not suicidal, you’re gonna tell her yourself.”

“Dad!” Dots pleading, begging Rooster to help her out. He thinks it’s hilarious, laughing as he watches you march down the three patio stairs.

“Oh so now it’s dad when you want a bodyguard huh?”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~**~

Tags: @a-serene-place-to-be @lilyevanswhore @thescarletknight2014 @blindedbythelightt t @averyhotchner @emma8895eb @blairfox04 @caitsymichelle13 @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @teacupsandtopgun @aemondssiut @feltonswifesworld87 @akalei349 @notjustsomeblonde @americaarse

#terms of endearment// bradley bradshaw #bradley 'rooster' bradshaw #bradleybradshaw #bradley x reader #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw

[lorenzo-zanetta]

Knock, knock, knock.

It was just after eight in the morning, and the busy streets of New York City were already in full swing. But, as Lorenzo rapped his knuckles against the ivory door in front of him, the silence in the corridor gave way to a more ominous sound.

There was a pause as Lorenzo waited, but a second too long drew a frustrated sigh that did not help his mood. Gritting his teeth for control, Lorenzo knew it was too early to lose his patience. But having to knock twice had never been a habit of his, let alone a third. Raising a fist, ready to bear down a more demanding call, the sound of turning locks made him stop.

"What took you so long?"

"Good morning to you, too, Enzo..."

There, standing at her full height of 5 feet tall, was his sister Nicola. Still dressed in her robe and slippers, she wore a smile that matched her wry tone.

"May I come in?" he asked.

Nicola looked to be contemplating her decision before finally stepping back to allow her older brother into her home. Leaving him there to lock the door himself, she disappeared to an adjacent room, giving Lorenzo a chance to briefly scan his surroundings. Moments later, he found her in the kitchen brewing coffee — a never-to-miss essential in Nicola's morning routine.

"You seem to be settling well here," Lorenzo observed as he sat himself down on one of the barstools that lined her kitchen island. "How did you get a place so fast?"

"This could've been an email, Enzo," Nicola quipped, pouring coffee for herself and her brother. Lorenzo rolled his eyes, accepting the mug she'd given him.

"Why are you really here?" she asked, giving him a more serious look. "We agreed you weren't supposed to visit me here."

"I remember," Lorenzo insisted, albeit calmly. "But you know better than to ask me questions you already know the answers to," he said. "You know why I'm here, and why I'm having to break our rules. The rules you made yourself, might I add," he reminded her. "You are the one who's not being careful here."

Nicola was silent for a time, her dark gaze locked with her older brother's. If it wasn't for the quiet urgency in his tone, his blue eyes were enough to pierce through the silence.

"Is that why you chose New York, Nicky? Because of him?!"

"No!" Nicola jumped to defend herself. "I didn't know he left Italy, let alone move all the way here!"

"Then how?!"

"By sheer goddamn coincidence, that's how!" Nicola snapped, exasperated. But Lorenzo didn't look the least bit convinced. "Did it ever occur to you that some things just... happen?!" she cried out in frustration. "Besides, how did you even find out???"

Lorenzo chose not to reveal his ways. Doing so would open a bigger can of worms, a gateway to a world Nicola should know nothing about.

"If Papa finds out you're here with him—..." Lorenzo started. "Hell, if I see him myself? That bastard's not going to stand a fucking chance! Not after everything he's put you through!" he bellowed as memories of years past has triggered his long-contained fury for his former best friend.

"NO!" Nicola may be half her brother's size, but she didn't hesitate to match his volume. "You will do no such thing," she warned him with quiet determination. "Not if you intend on keeping me in your life." Then, she leaned in with that menacing look of hers. "And I will not have you talk about Gio like that to me or anyone else."

As silence rang between the two heated siblings, Nicola stood her ground as firmly as their late mother would in the rare instances her anger would show. And just like with the late Eleanora, Lorenzo didn't think there was a way to break her conviction.

"I'm just trying to protect you," Lorenzo implored which seemed to have softened Nicola's demeanour, at least by a fraction.

"I know," Nicola murmured with a somber nod of her head. "But only you know much he means to me, and how hard the last several years have been," his little sister said, prompting memories of an inconsolable Nicola. "It's why I had to leave Milan."

As she reached for his hand, Lorenzo forced himself to listen to words he didn't want to accept. Torn between wanting to protect her from their father's fury and keeping her from getting hurt by outside forces that were out of his control, Lorenzo was stuck.

"Please," Nicola pleaded in earnest. "We have to keep to my plan if you want to continue protecting me the way you want. Which means Papa has to continue believing that I'm in London, studying, and not here with Gio. Alright?"

Silence.

"Enzo."

Lifting his steely blue eyes to meet Nicola's, Lorenzo had to forcibly unclench his jaw in defeat.

"Under one condition..."

"Okay...? "His little sister furrowed her eyebrows in apprehension. "What is it?

"I want to see him."

* All conversations are in Italian.

#[ lorenzo zanetta || narrative 02 ]

[colleenmurphy]

"Yaaa!"

"Mammaaaa!"

"Mar Bear!"

"Saint Mary!"

The cacophony of sound that hit Mary Flannery as she walked up her small patch of lawn and up the gravel path towards home startled her nearly to her wits end. Her head buzzed as she staggered for a second before catching herself and leaning against the hood of Frank's blocked up clunker he tinkered on. Being hit by a wall of sound from your loved ones at 2AM after being put through the emotional wringer washer of life sets one on edge. Frank was in the drunk tank again but not before he'd been booked for battery and assault, his third strike and would be headed Up River to the lock up in the morning once he'd slept off the whiskey anger, rum strength and the possible concussion she'd given him. Her lip was busted, her left cheek sported twelve stitches as her head was ringing and her left eye was a dusky shade of blue black. She felt a cold shiver of satisfaction knowing she'd fought back this time. She'd given him hell and managed to gouge out his eye and make him swallow two of his own teeth. The back window of her Monte Carlo was busted out, her driver's side scraped and dented and smeared with her own blood. She'd left nail scratches in the paint. It had been one hell of a night tracking down Francis Patrick Flannery.

"I'm gonna fucking kill-

"Shut up, Mike. He's locked up. I've got a protective order filed. He's going up River a while."

Her feet had carried her back into the trailer and the tattered pieces of the life before he'd stormed out. She had just gotten it set to rights after Frank's last temper tantrum. There was a her sized hole in the sheetrock and she felt her head spin. The shelves that had stood the very test of time and many of Frank's emotional tornadoes was smashed to pieces. The dainty carnival glass figurines her Granny Delaney had gifted her as a child and the ashes of her first best friend, the former junkyard pup, Elvis lay scattered and wet. The hope chest her grandfather had built for her lay amongst the rubble, the baby blankets their daughters had been brought home in that her great granny had made for her before she passed away covered in the remains of the bleeding heart flower she kept in Great Granny's memory ground in all over the burnt orange shag carpet. The framed photos that lined the tidy little hallway leading to the bedrooms were smashed and their wedding photos were ripped apart. Her gown, made by her own two hands because they were young and in love and broke..and because it was what her Mama had done before her lay scattered on the back side lawn as the backdoor was left wide open. Ironically her mother-in-law's dog, Buck was currently taking a wicked piss on what looked like the back panel; this she knew because of the embroidered Claddagh she'd spent two months making.

The reality of her situation hit her full force as she felt her blood pressure spike as she grabbed the bat she'd defended herself with only five hours before and marched out onto the back porch.

"CYBIL GRACE FLANNERY GET YOUR GODDAMN DOG OFF MY FUCKING LAWN!"

Buck was a trashy mange covered mutt with a bad attitude much like his mistress these days. Cybil's head popped out the back window of her mobile home, a pastel Easter egg nightmare just behind Mary's own place. Frank had absolutely insisted on setting up their family home right next door to his beloved Mammy.

"Don't you got go hurting my dog! Bad enough you got my son locked up!"

Making a swift move passed the would be guard dog he let out a low growl to which Mary matched him look for look. Bucked backed away with a whimper for the shelter of his kennel a few yards away. Mary kept her pace as she marched put to Cybil's front door and knocked politely.

'1...2...3'

The thwack of the bat met the cheap plastic covered metal sheeting leaving a horrid dent and scrape. Followed swiftly by two more.

"Open your door you fucking coward! Look at what your son did!"

Dead silence from inside. A plan was wheeling away inside her mind as she came to the conclusion that she'd never get the apology she was owed. If she had known what a monster Cybil had managed to bring into the world she never would have accepted his marriage proposal.

"Boys! I need your help."

Her collective herd of half siblings, or half of them, looked at her seriously.

"Anyone know someone with a dolly system and a valid CDL?"

Denny casually raised his hand and looked at her through those impossibly thick eye glasses he needed.

"Yep! He's only a call away and he's home for the next two weeks. Cost ya a case of beer and an ounce of weed."

Mary raised an eyebrow and winced remembering the scratch at eye level. She hadn't thought it was going to be this easy.

"I'll throw in some shrooms and $150 out of the Squirrel fund if he can take her over the county line and dump her trailer and all."

Looking towards the elder of the Flaherty brothers she sighed.

"Mike..I'm calling it in."

"No. No you're not."

Studying her over the rim of his beer bottle Mike shook his head. He knew about fifty people that wanted Frank's tool collection and not to mention his pride and joy of a truck he treated better than his wife and kids.

"I want you to take that stupid fucking truck apart and sell it piece by piece for the highest bidder for cash only. If anyone has a problem they can talk to me."

Mary was well and truly apocalyptically pissed the hell off and fed up, this much her brothers Mike and Denny knew. Her mother could feel it rolling off her daughter in waves so she ended up taking Dawn and Fawn for the evening just to give Mary a moment to herself.

"Even if you can't cry yet Mar Bear...let yourself. You've got to get some of the poison out."

"I plan on it, Ma. I plan on it."

Pouring herself a few fingers of Yukon Jack she hunted down her smoking box and rolled the largest joint she could as her hands shook. He had very nearly killed her tonight. She couldn't allow him the satisfaction of knowing he had scared her. She'd also ensure he never saw her girls ever again. Fawn and Dawn were Mary's entire being and reason for living. His influence on them would be washed away, she'd ensure that.

"I'll get you Frank Flannery...and you're going to rue the day you set eyes on me."

Just before dawn the roar of a diesel rig woke up the Hidden Hills trailer park, well everyone except Cybil Flannery who slept like the dead through any manner of biblically loud events due to her use of an eye mask, ear plugs and prescription sleep aid along with a tipple of three of Scotch each night. She and her Easter egg colored nightmare trailer were hauled away over into Gallow's Ridge in Vermeer County right into American territory.

'Well, it's half on half out. So it'll cost her either way to get back to anywhere she needs or wants to be.'

Roddy MacLeod had told her. He was one of Denny's friends and back in town for the summer. They had gone to school together back in the day before he and his mom had moved away. Neither of them brought up the fact that they had been absolutely smitten with each other and had a spark as it was so long ago.

'Thank you...I can add on another ounce if you want."

"How about I take all three of you out?"

"Three?"

"You and your girls?"

"They're three...and not very...people-y."

"Like you said they're three and that's ok. I'm 36 and not very people-y either. How's about dinner at my place?"

"Where are you these days?"

"My Mom's old place actually. Just around the lane on the right."

"I remember."

A very small non wincing smile graced her face as she accepted the invitation.

"We'll bring dessert."

#Hidden Valley Trailer Park Verse #Mary Colleen Delaney

[canadiankazz]

My The Legend of Vox Machina Season 2 Wishlist

Because we are getting SO CLOSE now to The Legend of Vox Machina Season 2, here's my list of things I hope they have in the show. There's a LOT here, and I know it's unlikely they'll have all of it, but a girl can dream!

(In no particular order, under a cut because of spoilers.)

Grog talking to Craven Edge in the toilet.

Keyleth turning a wyvern into a chicken, causing it and its rider to fall out of the air.

Scanlan hitting on Kaylie until she attacks him and reveals she's his daughter.

Scanlan trying to remember Kaylie's mother and realizing that to him, she was just another one night stand and can only barely remember her name.

Pike getting impaled by Craven Edge. Grog realizing that he has to get rid of the sword and walking off into the woods to die as it claims its price.

Vax: Hi. I don't want to be alone tonight. Do you? Keyleth: I haven't been wanting to be alone most nights.

"Take me instead you raven bitch."

Just the whole thing of Percy accidently setting off the trap at Purvan's tomb because they didn't want to wait for Vax. Vex dying as a result, and Vax's deal with the Raven Queen to bring her back.

The temple of the Raven Queen with its pool of blood.

Victor the black powder merchant. "LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES!"

Grog vs. Kevdak, including Grog falling 50ft through the air to land the HDYWTDT on Kevdak and cutting him in two.

"You know I'm not scared of death, right? I would die by a dragon, I would die by a beholder, and I wouldn't care, as long as it was beautiful death. But don't want to die from Kevdak… not him."

"Hello, uncle. The piece of shit you wiped off your boot has come home."

Vax and Scanlan inside Umbrasyl.

Vax finally accepting the role of Champion of the Raven Queen and getting his wings. "If you have any wings to lend me, now is the time."

"YOU FLYING FUCK!"

Vex getting her broom.

"Your secret is safe with my indifference."

"I live as long as Whitestone lives."

The Rakshasa posing as Gilmore and almost killing Vax. (Complete with Scanlan jumping off a balcony to save him.)

Scanlan's Magnificent Mansion.

"I'm a MONSTAH!"

"If I could pull the blood of you from my veins and give it back, I would! I want no part of you!"

Percy: You’re going to have to amend that one name, though, just to be fair. It’s Lady Vex'ahlia. Syldor: “Lady?” Percy: Lady Vex'ahlia, Baroness of the Third House of Whitestone and Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt. So good sir, despite your relationship with her, do watch your manners.

"Bidet!"

"Life needs things to live."

Saundor: I could give you so much. I could give you the means to protect them. Your home. Vex: What would you ask in return? Saundor: Your heart. Vex: My heart is someone else’s. 

Artagan's reveal.

"Do you spice?"

J'mon Sa Ord. Just... J'mon Sa Ord. :D

The Sandkheg's Hide

Grog asking Pike to teach him how to read.

Keyleth using Control Weather to clear a path for their airship through a storm.

What Vox Machina do to Dr. Ripley after she kills Percy.

Percy's revival and the Percy/Vex kiss. "I should have told you. It's yours."

Percy answering the door to a naked Vex, wondering if they'd like to have their "talk."

Vax getting into the tub with Percy for a talk, and Vex's reveal after. "I thought he'd never leave!"

And... if we get as far this season as Vox Machina fighting Thordak and Raishan...

"Call me 'child' ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME!"

Vax getting the killing blow on Thordak.

Grog finding the Deck of Many Things.

Raishan getting feebleminded.

Raishan: Why won't you all just stay down and die with dignity? Vex: We don't do anything with dignity!

Dead Scanlan in Grog's arms. "FIX HIM!"

Scanlan getting brought back to life, only to fight with the rest of Vox Machina, insulting them all, and leaving with Kaylie. "What was my mother's name?!"

The introduction of Taryon Darrington. "This is going to be fun, fun, fun!"

#critical role #the legend of vox machina #chroma conclave

[harrowharks-iliac-crest]

48

Back to Gideon - Third skull, here comes Ianthe.

Her hair and skin were colourless; that pallid face brightened to see me. “Harry,” she said. Harrow, she was genuinely delighted to see you. The smile on that thin white face was real. “Harry, you’re—” I moved closer and totally fucking ruined her day. “Alive, bitch,” I said. That expression hardened like it had been dropped in quick-set concrete. [...] Ianthe flicked a lock of goo-stained hair over her shoulder, leaned against the kitchen wall, and said: “Oh—you.”

Some kind of plan has just been ruined, methinks.

There would be a goddamn reckoning. Nonagesimus, I was going to reck her. I said: “Do you want your ass kicked now, or do you want your ass kicked later, or both?” “Please, let’s address this like gentlewomen,” said Ianthe, without much hope.

Gideon, I fucking missed you.

“This can’t be happening.” “She’s not even into you, okay? It’s just the bones. She’s into bones.”

Gideon, I FUCKING MISSED YOU!!!!!

This better not be too short-lived, I really need more of Lyctor!Cav!Gideon in my life.

“You’re certain that Mercy tried to kill Harrow?” she said, after a moment. “Yeah.” “But that doesn’t— Why would she—?” “Do not fucking ask me for information. I could not be more lost right now.”

Oh Gideon. You've always been so adorably clueless. Have I mentioned that I've fucking missed you???

"Why did you ascend to be a Lyctor?” “Ultimate power—and posters of my face.” Fair.

Hahahahaha. Oh Ianthe.

But he had stopped dead, and he was looking at us. At your face. He looked at my eyes in your face in the same way the other Lyctor had, and any colour in his own drained straight away. [...] Augustine looked at us like we were the last thing he’d ever see. “John,” he breathed. And: “Joy.” And then—he fucking legged it.

What's got Augustine so goddamn scared? Hello???

At this point I'm halfway wondering if there's anyone who isn't plotting something against someone here. Gideon seems to be foiling a lot of plans here today.

“Hurry up. I have a letter for you,” said Ianthe. Harrow, it was in your handwriting. She handed me a fat, bulging envelope with your handwriting, and it said To be given to Gideon Nav, and I felt—strange. Time softened as I held it, and I didn’t even care about the barely repressed mirthful scorn on the other girl’s face.

Oh, this is one of the letters that Harrow couldn't know about!!! What does it say what does it say???

The letter was wrapped around a black, folded-up bunch of angles: smoked glass, thin black frames, mirrored lenses. A little bend in one arm, but otherwise—you’d kept my sunglasses. [...] ONE FLESH, ONE END.

Oh yay the sunglasses!!

And oh damn you past Harrow, you couldn't have written literally anything more enlightening??? Fuck!!!

Fuck one flesh, one end, Harrow. I already gave my flesh to you, and I already gave you my end. I gave you my sword. I gave you myself. I did it while knowing I’d do it all again, without hesitation, because all I ever wanted you to do was eat me. Which is, coincidentally, what your mother said to me last night.

I fucking missed you Gideon Nav!!!!!

And also, well, I'm glad we agree on Fuck One Flesh, One End.

She can’t love you. She can’t even try.” She said, way too carefully: “Oh, please, as though—” but I cut her off. “Don’t start the I was toying with her, mwah ha ha noise, because I won’t believe it. Your plan backfired, Tridentarius. You’ve got the sickness. I know the signs of Nonagesimitis. You were all lined up for a big hot injection of Vitamin H.” Ianthe scrubbed at her forehead briefly with her bone hand. “Really a corpse?” she said, with not totally believable carelessness.

Oh my god Ianthe. Oh my god Gideon. You're out here at the end of the world, and you're bonding over how you're both kinda in love with a girl who can never love you back. Oh my fucking god.

I died knowing you’d hate me for dying; but Nonagesimus, you hating me always meant more than anyone else in this hot and stupid universe loving me. At least I’d had your full attention.

I'm going to fucking cry.

now we are going to get out of my bedroom, and I am going to take you to Teacher.” The Emperor of the Nine Houses. The Necrolord Prime. I said, “No, thanks. I’m good.” “He needs to know. He can help you.” “I might lie down and see if this fixes itself,” I suggested. “Do you want Harrowhark to reclaim rightful ownership of her body, or not?” she asked reasonably.

Way too fucking reasonable. God can't help with this!!! You're taking Harrow's body to God so THE SLEEPER can take control of Harrow's body, and kill God.

That's probably, definitely what's happening here, and I really fucking hate it.

#harrow the ninth #harrow the ninth liveblog #htn liveblog #tlt liveblog #htn spoilers #tlt spoilers #the locked tomb

[hellmouth]

Okay, so, because I was caught in 4K HD in the tags on @hero-adjacent's post rambling about this theory that I don't think I've heard anyone on the brainwave of before, I figured I'd write the whole thing out. This is probably going to be a goddamn dissertation and I am so sorry. Giving credit where it's due for being the one who first said it, @reetamorgan was the original Oh Shit Oh Fuck mastermind here.

So bare with me here alright, this is off the fucking walls at first but hear me out:

We never get a specific timeline (to my knowledge) of exactly when Angelus was cursed with his soul, only that it happened when he killed a Romani girl (I'm not using the slur, Whedon, get bent) and the Elder of that tribe had him cursed with his soul for the pain and suffering he caused On Purpose like he was some kind of vampire psychological sadist Picasso. Now, here's where we get into the theory at hand: what if that girl was Drusilla?

Dru was sired in the mid-1800s, Darla was the one who hand-picked her for Angelus to bat around like a cat with a mouse, but it was his decision to sire her instead of kill her because he thought she was special (Angel 2x5). Darla was not 100% on board- case in point:

Angelus: "We turn her into one of us. Killing is so merciful, in the end, isn't it? The pain has ended."

Darla: "To make her one of us? She's a lunatic."

Angelus: "Eternal torment."

And he sires her before she can take her vows solely so that he can have the final laugh. Which... is kind of a big fuck you to just have nothing done about it, you know? What sparked the theory itself is a conversation that takes place in BTVS 2x14 Surprise in an exchange between Jenny and her uncle and the very specific language he uses to describe the situation which is as follows:

"...You just forget that he destroyed the most beloved daughter of your tribe? That he killed every man, woman, and child that touched her life? Vengeance demands that his pain be eternal as ours is!"

Except we do! Because it's my post and I said so and I warned you this might get dissertation length!

So the main reason this made us pause and stare at each other like the slow-pan to look at the camera in The Office after our- what- I think this is our third or fourth rewatch together? Was because he used the word "destroyed". He didn't say killed. And because he used the phrase "eternal pain" directly after this. Obviously that kind of tragedy stick with you for a very long time, but that specific usage very much sounds like something that they are actively still suffering with the consequences of, and not just because Angel is still alive.

We get a little bit of Drusilla's life in Angel the series, granted, with her mother telling her that her visions are an affront to the Lord and a little bit about her sisters, but to my recollection, we don't really get that much about her family life or ties other than this? I would think that it's entirely reasonable to assume that they could be of Romani descent, that her mother may have decided to possibly step away from her family once she was married and embrace a different lifestyle, or one of many different scenarios that would put her and her family slightly out of the frame of that lense, and that the visions Drusilla has could very well be a hereditary thing, something passed down from generation to generation, or possibly one that skips a generation, much like the Elder Woman is mentioned having visions in Surprise when Jenny's uncle tells her that she's seen that Angel's pain is lessening, that her visions are never wrong. This could also be why her mother reacts so aggressively to Drusilla having these visions in the first place, why she was so adamant that only God was supposed to see things before they happened.

Angelus proceeds to kill her entire family in front of her for The Bit, before forcing her to run to a convent to escape him and waits until just before she's about to take her holy vows before he turns her, again, purely for The Bit, and if that shit doesn't get you cursed, especially a curse of that magnitude, I don't know what else says fuck around and find out quite like that does.

I also think that it would be a rather karmic thing if the fate of Angel's soul was quite literally in the hands of the girl he tortured to madness and turned into a vampire, eternally bound to kill to live and still wracked with visions of things to come, whether it be knowing Buffy would become someone that would irrevocably change Spike, the man she herself sired, hence her almost desperation for him to get rid of her when he first comes into contact with her, or even the smaller glimpses at visions she gets throughout the Buffyverse of things that one way or another do come to pass.

It would also serve to tie into the weird connection and mutual trauma that Buffy and Drusilla seem to share, down to the fact that they even share a birthday. That because of Angel and Spike, their lives are always going to be a little bit entwined, they both love Spike in their own unique ways, and they both have a love and loathing for Angel for the attention and love he's given them and for the utter betrayal and frankly sadistic level of malice he has for both of them for making him feel anything for them when he's without his soul, how he's absolutely overtaken by the need to destroy everything that they hold dear, to take every last bit of light in their lives and make them suffer for as long as possible because they made him feel before he kills them or sires them- which I'm entirely convinced that if he got the chance when it came down to it, he'd have tried to turn Buffy too. Because as he said before, death is an end to the suffering. He wants it to last. He wants it to be eternal.

Anyway, that's the Overview of the "what if Drusilla is the reason for Angel's curse" bit that Wills and I have been tossing back and forth like Apollo's prophecy dodgeball. This was way more words than I had originally intended but goddammit I do my research when I have quite literally nothing better to do with my time. This has been Theories With Boofer, thanks for tuning in, that's my time.

#buffy babbles #this got so much longer than I intended it to I am So Sorry #curse of cassandra #passion and pain #you still don't get a tag Darla in this house we Hate You #soul and sacrifice #calender girl #that summers girl #witchy woman #the dru theory

[outpost51]

WIP Whenever

hey remember how i got super excited about the snippet the other week, well i'm back with chapter 15 lmao leaving it open for anyone else that's also impatient and tagging: @sparatus @thetrashbagswasteland @teamdilf @princess-prawn @tabswrites @liv-is

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

The line went silent and once more Talus was alone with nothing left to keep him company but his terrible thoughts and a worried varren. He took another swig from the bottle of whisky he’d been nursing for most of the night — or very early morning, he wasn’t sure anymore. It all bled together after his would-be daughter-in-law decided to take his two remaining sons away. Didn’t she have enough? Couldn’t her daddy’s money buy her another husband, another son? He’d worked for everything his whole goddamn life, and she’d just shown up all pretty in her gourmet — no, couture? Whatever. It was all made by some other rich fucks whose names he couldn’t pronounce.

‘Gaultius,’ Kadmos huffed, dusting some unseen dirt off his lapel. As if merely being around his trash twin was so unclean. ‘But that isn’t the point, Talus—’

‘Nah, the point’s you gotta appease your fuckin’ guilt for abandonin’ me an’ Ma—’

‘Ascina abandoned us for drugs before we’d even opened our eyes, Talus, it isn’t my fault you’ve chosen to keep yours shut!’

Talus tipped the bottle back again and found it as empty as his home. A startled yelp and a loud crash later, it laid in a thousand glittering pieces on the floor.

Much like him, but he was more of a crumpled, sobbing heap. A sad sack of shit, if one were so inclined.

He grabbed at the snout roughly attempting to push under his chin and reluctantly lifted his head from its resting place in his palms so Fishdog could waddle into his lap. It wasn’t Atria, with her endless questions and wild ideas. Or Linni, with his bright eyes that looked so much like his mother’s and held all the innocence he wish they held onto a little longer. Or Fira, with her generous laughs and the secret smiles she held just for him. But it was enough.

‘This don’t make us good,’ he told his estranged uncle from the passenger seat. As many times at Teker had glanced over at him, opened his mouth to speak, Talus was proud he went the whole flight to Cipritine and the whole drive to Valetoria’s place without looking at him once.

‘Didn’t expect it to,’ his uncle replied.

Val provided a good enough distraction for both of them, and his uncle’s fussing almost, almost convinced him to change his mind. That the wiry fuck wasn’t the same piece of shit that killed Ma.

Talus helped Valetoria to the rear cabin, just in case the bastard decided to take another mother away from her son. They hopped from his uncle’s ship to the one Temek had chartered without so much as a goodbye, and skipped off to Terminus space to find a minister to marry them.

At least Atria didn’t hate him. That brought his total count of two whole people in the galaxy that didn’t, if he counted Fishdog as people. Atria was alive, she didn’t hate him, and she had folks looking out for her. She was fine. He hugged Fishdog tighter.

“You’re right,” he slurred in response to the slow huff behind his mandible. “We gotta get ready so she don’t come home to… this.” He grimaced at the state of the living room and sighed when he realized the rest of the first floor looked much the same. Ignoring the shimmer of silver plates and blue-stained gossamer to his left, he stumbled to his feet on the third try, and to his credit, he only bumped into the same piece of furniture twice, thank you very much. His hand hit the switch for the outside light with a little more force than he anticipated, but it had long since gone numb. “Jus’ like her mama, that one,” he huffed. “Hates a messy house.”

The shimmer solidified more into a twisted, mangled thing and he forced himself to look away. She wasn’t real. If she was real, he would have to admit things he wasn’t ready to admit. Would never be ready to admit.

‘Fuck are you doin’ here?’ Tiberius was never the friendliest-looking of his uncles, and the addition of a metal jaw did nothing to help his image. ‘Someone finally give you what you deserved, eh?’

His uncle winced. Talus reached for the shotgun at his back. Maybe he’d finish the job, especially if the big bastard woke Linni. Good thing he’d sent Atria on an errand when he did. ‘I see a few years out in Terminus hasn’t changed you one bit. Where’s—’

‘Out. Like you should be.’

‘I’m not your enemy—’

‘An’ that’s why you’re walkin’ outta here alive.’

When he turned to grab the broom, he slipped on a wet spot that wasn’t there before, just barely managing to catch his fall with his face and sparing his poor arms the responsibility of doing their job. His vision flickered once, twice, and then he blissfully allowed the concussion to take him away from the rotting, purple-lacquered toeclaws stepping into view.

Talus woke some moments later a little dizzy, with a mysterious dull ache pulsing across the right side of his face. Deep, dark blue was smeared across the floor and something inside him panicked, ripping open still-fresh emotional scars — it was quelled when, through the syrupy haze of his higher brain processes, he realized the blood on the floor was his. Not hers. He’d slipped in whisky, he wasn’t on the Galatea, and he’d walked over broken glass in a thin slipper.

“Ah, that ain’t good,” he grumbled, probably too casual for a drake who’d just woken up bleeding on the floor. Nothing for it, he couldn’t feel it anyway. It’d scab over eventually, like his leg. Like his heart.

Teker had a lot of nerve stepping foot on their street, much less on their property.

‘Fuck’re you doin’ here?’ Talus slurred.

‘I called him, Talus.’ Camicidia stalked down the stairs in her fancy fucking shoes and her goddamn dressing gown, as if she’d made herself at home. ‘Keep your voice down, Atria’s upstairs.’

His jaw creaked. She was lucky he could barely see straight at the moment.

‘Where’s Fira?’

‘You keep her name outta your fuckin’—’

‘Shut up, Talus, fuck’s sake.’ Cami held up a credit chit. ‘It’s ten percent of takings, right?’

He hated the fucking pity in Teker’s eyes. Hated him. ‘Don’t worry about it,’ his uncle said — to Cami, not to him, the patriarch of the house, the owner of the house. Like he was some kind of incompetent invalid, and she was his guardian. ‘Think I could talk to Atria for a—’

‘Lil late to gun her mama down and take her away, Razor,’ Talus spat. ‘You keep her name outta your kin-killin’ mouth, too.’

It took five attempts to get off the ground, and he had to lean on the wall, but he finally managed to get the glass swept up. He blew out Atria’s candle first, then hesitated over Fira’s. It was always hard to extinguish her candle’s flame, to distance himself from the bastards that extinguished hers. He finally exhaled a shaky breath, and as the acrid smoke rose from the wick, another scent took its place. She flickered just outside his field of vision again. She was getting easier to ignore. So was the smell, sickly sweet vanilla and incense ash and the pervasive undercurrent of rot. He almost didn't gag.

#unreliable narrators are fun but pop pop is at rock bottom and i'm not done digging #do some of the references make sense out of context? no. i am still Excited tho #my fic #between a rock and a hard place #sneeps.txt

[ashes-writing]

Hello it's the Tommy & Carol anon again 😊Absolutely amazing thing to read and I'm so glad you were happy to get those imagines! Just wondering if you could write some Tommy H & hargrove sister? (Or maybe a sister from a party member) I feel like Tommy H would be the type to give Steve shit over Nancy then see his future s/o from a distance and be like Oh no

taglist babes || req rules / fandoms+characters || send ?s; anon on || masterlist

Omg heyyyy you're back, dear! So I wanted to take my time with this one because honestly, I fucking loved the idea -waay too much potential, you have no idea how much receiving this ask made my day? WHEN YOU SENT THIS SO MANY NEW THOUGHTS OCCURRED TO ME HOLY SHIT SO THANK YOU. ALSO ALSO.. This could've been longer but I tried to hold back a little bit because i didn't want to hit a word limit but i wanted to get everything major I needed to say mentioned in here.

A tw for Neil fuckin Hargrove and the damage he did to his kids which is kind of barely eluded to in places here.

Bonus thing that nobody asked for... I feel like Devils Backbone would probs fit Tommy's character to an extent? So I'm totally listening to that as I write this.

This is going to get long-winded, so keep going below the cut. I really, really, really hope you enjoy this third long-winded ramble. I thank you so so so so so much for sending this?

First of all, you are precisely correct. Tommy Hagan gives Steve Harrington nothing but shit for MONTHS over Nancy. And he's always quick to point out that it won't happen to him -or ironically, "Carol's my girl, man." and lo.. Behold... It's just a little into the school year (S2, mind you) when the unthinkable happens.

Firstly, Carol and Tommy break up over the summer. They try to reconcile, they just... like, they can't for whatever reason, ig? Annnyway, this sets the scene. The amount of shit Tommy gives Steve over the summer may or may not be because Tommy's got a lot of feelings(tm) about being dumped. They even start to fight about Nancy -and her thing with Jonathan, a lot more..

Okay, so to set the scene for Hargrove baby sis.... we KNOW the hell this poor girl lives through at home. And I feel like she's probably one of those quiet types, real soft spoken, probably just a hair innocent and oh so girly. And like.. It's obvious that she's skittish as all hell -the whole know which stair makes the loudest pop so you don't wake up the nightmare you call a father or god forbid, your big brother, mentality. Anyway, I feel like Billy tries so goddamn hard to protect her, even going as far as to piss Neil off when he knows Neil is about to start in on her -because maybe she looks a little too much like the mother that abandoned them all? just a thought here, so this would've totally given people a glimpse into the potential for good that they tried to execute in s3 when he turned himself into a human stretch armstrong / mindflayer chewtoy. Here's the thing, lovely anon... I feel like while Billy is the loud, brazen, quick tempered motherfucker we all know, his sister? Polar fucking opposite. Bookish, quiet, never even tries to step one toe over the line because she's too terrified of the consequence. I feel like the nice and innocent thing would completely bowl Tommy over? Anyway, yeah.. Long story short, Hargrove #2 is too nice for her own good, so maybe she misses a LOT of the taunting and teasing aimed at her.

Billy doesn't, but this isn't about him. This is about what I think would happen between Tommy Hagan and a Hargrove sister. Suffice to say, Billy will fucking MURDER anyone he thinks is talking down to, taking advantage or trying to harm his kid sister.. I feel like maybe she's a grade below him -and presumably Tommy, we'll say they're the same age. OKAY SO SO..

Tommy and Steve actually have a huge fight, same as the show. The only real difference here is that Carol isn't present for it because duh, Carol and Tommy broke up. This makes that fight so fucking much worse, so the day Billy arrives at Hawkins -with sister in tow, he's just kinda like... going through the motions? He's edgy, restless. Angry and bitter. And Steve's spent the better part of like... A year and some odd months telling him, "Hey pal, it does happen, you can fall head over heels at first/second sight, you might wanna retract and rethink your words.." but Tommy, he just refuses to believe in it.

UNTIL, UNTIL... it fucking happens. And when it happens, he quite literally feels like he's just had the damn air knocked right out of his lungs because she's cute and she's sweet and she's got this suuuuper fucking soft voice and she smells like vanilla candies -this he learns because she's in one of his classes, it's one he's taking on a repeat to graduate, and they wind up sharing a book so this means they have to sit real, real, real...fucking close.. Annnyway. This poor bastard SNAPS A DAMN PENCIL IN HALF because he's antsy, he's entirely too aware of this pretty lil thing sitting so close that her hair brushes right against his bicep.. Tommy fancies himself a charmer. Key words here.. FANCIES HIMSELF A CHARMER.. IRL, he is lowkey a village idiot when it comes to flirting, the only super serious tm girlfriend he's really had is Carol? So he only knows what works on her.

Baby Hargrove, she is UNIMPRESSED. And... completely fucking oblivious, oh my goddd. She thinks he's just being nice when he offers to walk her to class so she goes with it. At one point, they're talking and she just politely tells him in that super soft and sweet little voice "can you just maybe like... try being yourself? please?"

HE TURNS SO GODDAMN RED.

side note, Tommy's got a hard time being himself because he is so used to mirroring the people around him in a desperate attempt to be liked / to be whatever someone wants or needs, to fit in better and I have my own theories on this, the one I feel safest mentioning on here is that Tommy is not like the other rich popular kids. He's working class level at least. So, yeah.. He desperately wants to fit in cos the majority of his elementary/middle school days til Steve and Carol were spent having to fight or getting bullied til he went home to cry and be consoled by his mother.

So after a few weeks of him of her being there, -and him continuously popping up - he notices that she comes in like.. upset. edgy. and he can feel it, holy shit, this boy has somehow managed to tune himself into her and he hasn't even realized it. Mind you, this entire fucking time, he's been telling anyone who will listen if they say shit about the way he's ALWAYS NEAR HER that he's not and they're clearly fucking stupid. Because he just doesn't know how to wrap his freckled head around Steve being 10000% correct about what's happening and it's happening at warp fucking speed and holy shit, he's fucking terrified, but anyway... This is when it really sinks in for him? And she looks so tired, she's nodding off sitting up. He pulls his chair even closer to the one she's sitting in because he knows.. He knows, any second now, she's going to close those pretty eyes and she's gonna doze right off. And voila! Presto! She does, in fact, fall asleep. THIS BOY.. When I tell you he writes random shit he does happen to pay attention to the teacher saying down for her for once -because she's been so sweet, she's been helping him out with the coursework for weeks now and like... he just doesn't want her to miss anything because obviously, school is important shit for her? Anyway... End of class comes, she wakes up and she is soooo so so apologetic.

End of class comes, he finds Steve in the hallway, with Nancy but they're fighting. Nancy storms off, Steve swings at a locker and Tommy just kind of clears his throat. "Nevermind." Steve has been silently watching the whole thing play out because even though he and Tommy aren't speaking, Tommy is still 'his boy' so he's looking out for the idiot, making sure he's okay -because Carol's breakup coming on the heels of their huge fight outside the corner store was just ... a lot.. Steve stops him from leaving and Tommy's pacing, insisting that he can't be right, all this other shit and by the end of it when Steve figures out what's happened, he's nearly HOWLING in laughter.

We're gonna play devils advocate here, while I love the whole keg boys dynamic, I feel like Billy would be more than a little bent out of shape to hear Tommy going on and on and fucking ON about his little sister.. Lowkey, he'd be glad -another person to keep her safe from Neil and Neil's fuckery when he can't, but he's NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE gonna show that he is right off the bat. Billy overhears this whole thing and Tommy finally drops the name of the girl he's been lowkey talking about for weeks and Billy's kinda... Glaring. Then he explains to his 'bestie' that reader is his sister. -I feel like baby sister being BLOOD, and them having gone through so much would make them close but lately, they've drifted cos baby sister is scared / lowkey hates the man her brother is turning into. Annnyway.... Steve manages to keep them calm. Barely, but it happens.

Back to Steve and Tommy. This kind of causes them to reconcile because they both kind of need to lean on one another. I feel like the party where Nancy does break up with Steve is the party where Tommy and Hargrove sis would get together? Like.. not together, together, but maybe he sees some asshole trying to invade her personal space and it just really, really, really pushes his buttons. And he's got a few in him by now, so he walks over, steps between them and proceeds to shove this asshole around. Because he's angry because he could see her flinching away and trying to politely leave several times only to have the asshole have the audacity to grab her arm? -the asshole who did this is lowkey lucky Billy was around back with some buddies tapping the new keg because holy shiiit.. Anyway, Tommy stays with her the whole party -we'll say Billy dragged her along for the night because he knew Max was staying with a friend and Susan was out of town with relatives or smthing so he wasn't leaving Neil and his sister -who looks like their mother a little bit, alone with each other because Neil likes to drink and when Neil likes to drink, he likes to hurt people, either with his mouth or his hands. Anyway.. Tommy and this guy are brawling and as soon as people catch onto it, the fights broken up.

Baby sister takes him into Tina's kitchen to patch him up and she's fussing over him, she's saying things like he shouldn't have done that, not over her, it wasn't worth it, etc.. He literally can't take hearing her say another word, so he feels like kissing her to shut her up is a good idea. So he does it. And she starts out trying to like... push him away because her hand's on the front of his black karate top flat but then, suddenly, her fingers are pulling at the fabric and her hand's in his hair and he's forgetting to breathe and doing his very best to keep his hands to himself / figure out what to do with them -i feel like he's kind of picked up on just hints here and there of the home situation so he's trying so so so hard to be mindful of her being skittish and the way she flinches at certain tones / touches, etc and he has been for a while now, and after this, they kind of go from her tutoring him / helping him to Tommy coming around -billy only allows anyone over when Neil isn't at home unless it's a piece of ass for the night, he likes to rub that into his father's face because he can... when Neil isn't there. I feel like Billy's not thrilled with the whole thing at first, but like... He figures out real quick that Tommy's not giving one fuck. He wants what he wants, right? Anyway..

I feel like down the line, little sister is a constant fixture at the Hagan house and Tommy's still kind of trying to insist that this is just friendship -despite the way he kissed her and she kissed back, and now, even his MOTHER is noticing the way her son is around this girl and she's both teasing him about it and happy, because he seems to be happier lately, he's started talking to Steve again, he's made a new friend and like I said, little sister is an actual sweetie, so.. yeah.. THIS IS WHEN IT REALLY GETS SERIOUS, OFFICIAL AND SHIT..

They're hanging out on a weekend, like usual and they're all cuddled up on his bed, -> picturing this , and he just looks down at her and blurts it out. "I love you."

Holy shit, when she says it back, boy is.. If he could leap in the air and pump his fist he would've right then. He does it later though, but anyway.. He finally has to admit to Steve that yes, Steve was 10000 percent correct in the end.

#tommy hagan #tommy hagan x fem!reader {hargrove} #tommy hagan headcanons #tommy hagan imagine #tommy h.

[offbookkeeping]

25. Pump the Stakes with Jon Gabrus

Plot summary:

A man named Jeff tells his children Jack and Lucy about sex and meets a cop named Officer Janette Woman who gives him her card. Meanwhile 911 operators don't do their jobs properly. Jack and Lucy are forced to swallow their father's weed bags. They almost choke to death but they don't. Jack talks about how he wants to kiss alligators and then they see one on a cliff. Shockingly it's not because they're really high but they're also SO high. The alligator doesn't want to eat humans because he just desperately wants popcorn. Meanwhile an airline pilot gets drunk and finds a flamingo in the engine. Janette calls flamingos a racial slur on accident. Jack climbs on the back of the alligator and Jeff calls 911. It's revealed that Jeff's wife and third child are both dead and he divorced both of them. Janette and Jeff awkwardly flirt and Janette goes to help Jack but he rides the alligator back to the zoo on his own while Lucy bakes a pie. The alligator is gifted 8 days and nights of nutritional yeast and Jack tells him that he doesn't want to sleep with him but he does want to be best friends. Jeff sees the ghost of his first son Raphael and his ex wife who says she's happy for him as long as he's happy. The family does to Outback Steakhouse

Best quotes:

• "Your dad's always edging!"

• "You're not going to find yourself fucking a lagoon monster if you don't say yes to new experiences"

"And that's why I know for sure I'm not gay "

• "Hm I love the mouthfeel of this

sumatra-"

"HEY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING DOWN THE PHONES ARE LIT UP LIKE A GODDAMN MENORAH!"

"JEREMIAH!!"

• "8 people might be being stabbed by alligators, calm down"

•

"If you're gonna wanna fuck a swamp thing you gotta be in better shape"

"I DONT WANNA FUCK A SWAMP THING!"

"BUT YOU NEED TO BE OPEN TO IT!"

Best songs:

• Yes We Get it Calm Down

• Janette Woman

• I'm So High

Thoughts Overall:

Wow this starts with a ridiculously awkward sex talk song aptly titled "Pump the Breaks (On This Conversation)." Do you ever have to pause whatever you're watching and pace a little before returning to something because the second hand embarrassment is so bad? Well that's what I had to do MULTIPLE times. This episode is fantastic otherwise. I don't get the jeremiah joke but it's fucking hysterical I love when Zach and Jess say things simultaneously. Yes We Get it Calm Down is one of the catchiest songs I've heard on my relisten so far. I loved the parts of this episode that didn't make me flash back to my godawful childhood sex talk. This episode is about children getting high, 911 operators, sex talks, and alligators who like popcorn. What's not to love? I think I'm missing some of the plot because of how uncomfortable I was but that makes the experience more fun I think. It's nice to know that Zach's preferred popcorn topping is nutritional yeast, I thought that was just something my mother put on literally every food.

#off book ep 25 #off book ep 25 pump the stakes with jon gabrus #jon gabrus #off book podcast #jess mckenna #off book #zach and jess #jessica mckenna #zach reino #zachary reino #play it by ear #nutritional yeast #alligators

[twjournals]

The Right Place

This is the third and final part of the trilogy. I can not thank you enough for the endless support. I did not expect to even turn this into a three-parter, but you asked and you shall receive. You guys are amazing!

So Wrong It's Right

What's Wrong is Right

Warning: dark!Peter Parker x reader, dub-con, all characters are of age, pregnancy, abuse, mild non-con touching, violence

Word Count: 5.4k

Summary: You're an old troubled friend of May's. Your life consists of being a workaholic, a party animal, and bringing home the shittest of guys for a one-hit-wonder. Just when you get your life in order, you're knocked right back into your old habits. Peter has watched you suffer long enough. He can make it all better.

Taglist: @discoverwhattheworldhastooffer

Your world was in shambles and any move you made to try and fix it only seemed to make what was left crumble. You did not speak with anyone since you had found out you were pregnant, not even May. You did not know what you could even say to her or how you could explain what was going on. You knew she would find out sooner or later, but you had planned on later. You could not even stomach the thought of telling her. It would not be easy and you knew you would probably lose her friendship in the process.

You avoided Peter as much as you could. He always messaged to check up on you, but you would never reply. You were disappointed in yourself. If you had just been the biggest person and moved on, if you had not have gotten drunk, you would not be in this situation right now.

Peter never gave up on you. He had hoped you would come around. That you would understand why your life was going in the direction it was. You needed to get away from the toxicity you surrounded with, especially Chris. You were meant for bigger and better things. You were meant to be more than a housewife. You were to be a mother, a lover, a soulmate. You deserved the world and he wanted so bad to give you it plus more.

You continued to shut him out though. You did not answer his phone calls or his text messages no matter how many times he tried. He sat outside on your fire escape many nights, listening to you crying yourself to sleep. It broke his heart to see you in this situation, but he wishes you would look on the bright side of things. Maybe it was not the greatest timing to have a baby, but it didn't mean your lives were ruined. Sometimes what we want is not always what we need. Sometimes change is required for what we need in our life and you weren't necessarily open to it.

He honestly had tried to give you your space. He stuck to the rooftop above you where you could not see him when you would finally leave the house for work. You always looked so beautiful to him, even if he knew you had been crying all night. If you would just answer his messages, he would not have to go this far.

Peter watched you many mornings on your way to work. He followed your bus all the way to the place he prayed you would never go. He kneeled on top of the building, watching as you stared sadly at the front doors of the clinic. He wished you would turn around. To save him from having to web you down before you got in the building. You were picking at your sweater. No matter the number of times you found yourself standing outside the clinic, you never could bring yourself to even reach for the door.

You were at war with yourself. Peter could tell you fought against the changes, but your heart could not bring you to stop them from happening despite how unhappy you were. It always ended with a sigh and with you proceeding to walk the rest of the way to work. Peter seemed to hold his breath until you walked away.

Work was always a drag now. You had nothing to look forward to anymore but everything in the world to worry about. You stared at your phone as it lay against the computer screen. You rubbed your face tiredly.

You knew it was time to let go of your past. You sighed deeply, taking your phone in your hands and clicking on Chris's old messages. You began typing.

Are you able to come by later?

You noticed he read your message right away. You sat your phone down, still staring at the screen when he responded back.

Of course. Just tell me when, and I’ll be there.

You told him you would message him once you got home. You were sure what time you would get off when it came to your job. You wrote a company and spent the hours necessary to do what you needed to do.

By the time your workday had finally ended, you were having mixed feelings about inviting him over. Being pregnant did not help your feelings from being all over the place. Your thumbs hovered over the keypad on your screen. You were hesitant. Even if he had said he respected whatever you decided, you knew he could not entirely mean that. You quickly typed out that you were home and hit send before you could give yourself time to think almost about it. Maybe you should have thought about it a little longer.

Peter was stuck at school for one of his night classes. He dreaded his night classes now more than ever considering your condition. He had already skipping enough classes due to worrying so much about you. He could not afford to flunk out of school now after all the time and effort he had dedicated already. As much as he wanted to keep an eye on you, he tried to give you room to breathe, to think, and process.

You pushed his bags in the living room by the door, straightening your sweater to keep it off of your stomach. You were not big to others, but to you, you worried if people can tell. You did not want to chance it and certainly not with Chris. You wanted this to go as smoothly as possible.

Your heart almost leaped from your chest at the knock on your door. You slid the chain from the lock and pulled the door open to see his face light up as soon as he saw you.

"Hey there, beautiful."

"Hi." You leaned against the door slightly as you moved out of the way for him to enter.

"I'm so glad you're giving this a second-" He stepped into the apartment, noticing bags of his belongings to the side of him and he grew quiet. "You're not giving me a second chance." He pointed out and you frowned slightly, still standing by the door.

"I think it is what's best for the both of us." Your voice was quiet and calm, but in your mind, it was the hardest thing possible for you to say.

"Is it?" His voice seemed bitter and you looked down at your feet, nodding slowly. Even without looking at him, you could still feel his eyes on you. He turned to face you fully and you hesitated to make eye contact with him.

"It is. I still want the best for you."

"Do you not believe I can change? I don't understand. What can I do to change your mind?" He pressed.

"Please don't think I haven't given this a lot of thought. It consumes my mind to no end. I just need to focus on myself right now."

"Imagine that." It was silent in the room and you glanced at him, only to find him shaking his head with a snicker. "It's not what's best for the both of us. Not for me. This is what's best for you. Can't imagine how I even thought you could be anything but selfish."

"Chris, I just want to keep this civil."

"Good for you." He pulls the door from your grasp and slamming it shut, startling you. "That's all you've ever been, hm? You're gonna have to lose that mindset if you plan on marrying me."

"I don't-"

"You will." He corrected, moving so close you could feel his breath across your face. "I put too much time into this for you to walk away from me."

You swallowed hard. The man who stared back at you was far from familiar. You tried to step around him but he only pushed you back into your place between him and the wall.

"Goddamn it, just get your stuff and go!" You raised your voice and he slapped his hand hard across your cheek. It was strong enough to make you see stars in your eyes. You yelped at the impact and held your cheek as it stung in pain.

"You watch your fucking tone." He stared down at you. He had never hit you before in the years you had been together. He never raised a hand to you, but then again, he never raised one for you either.

You could not imagine how much worse this would get. You left sick to your stomach when he grabbed your chin, tilting your head upright to look at him, stroking his fingers across your stinging cheek as his eyes flickered over your face in thought.

"Truth to be told, I think it's you who needs to change. I put up with so much from you. You had me in the beginning. Thought I was getting this wild, sex-crazed wife, oh, the fun we use to have. The drunken nights." He stiffed a laugh as he let his free hand grab the end of your sweater. "You really had me fooled, didn't you sweetheart?"

You were scared to move. Scared that one wrong move and he would hit you again, maybe worse. You closed your eyes, hoping Peter would answer your prayers. You regretted how much you ever took advantage of his kindness. How long you acted like you never noticed. You had always noticed. You felt his hand push underneath your shirt, and his gaze grazed over your stomach.

You noticed the way his hand froze against the small curve of your rounded stomach and he instantly lifted your shirt to see the problem. Your vision was blurred from your tears as he stared at your stomach with wide eyes. You could tell he was getting pissed.

"Really looks like you've been focusing on yourself." He lets your sweater fall back down over your stomach. His grip was still firm on your jaw, giving you no choice but to look at him. "You have some nerve to leave me. I could bet money it's Parker's. It is, isn't it?"

You could not bring yourself to admit it, but you did not have to.

He shoved your face from his hand, causing you to hit your head hard against the wall as he let you go. "You fucking make me sick."

You tried to keep your sobs quiet, listening to his footsteps moving away from you, listening to him jerking his bags up. "Better it's his problem and not mine." He muttered before slamming the door shut behind him.

You pulled your knees to your chest as you sat up against the wall with a sob. You didn't realize how much you needed Peter until now. You were sure he would have been successful if Peter had not have stopped. You hugged your knees as you tried to catch your breath in an attempt to calm yourself down.

After a moment, you took a deep breath as you pushed yourself to your feet. You let out a whimper quiet, feeling mild cramps in your lower stomach. You frowned as you turned the lock to the door, pressing your forehead against it as you held your stomach from the pain. It only seemed to worsen the longer you stood there. You weren't sure what was going on, but you had a feeling whatever it was, it was not good. You stood like that hoping the cramps would ease, but they never did.

It was close to the end of class when Peter's phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out of his phone slightly to see who it was. He glanced up at the professor who had still proceeded with his lecture and Peter lowered his head to answer. He knew something had to be wrong if you were calling him after all this time of avoiding him.

"Y/n? Is everything okay?"

"I think something is wrong." You whimpered quietly and he raises an eyebrow slightly.

"What do you mean "wrong"? Is the baby okay?" He looked up at the teacher who was making eye contact with him now as he talked.

"I don't know." You answered honestly.

That was all it took to get Peter moving. He grabbed his books off of his desk and tossed them in his bag while he scrambled from the classroom.

"It hurts." You rubbed your lower stomach like you always did when you had cramps before. Cramps were normal, but with being pregnant, you could never be too sure what they really meant.

"I know, love. I'm so sorry. Hang tight. I'm on my way." He reassured you as he sprinted out of the building.

---

You lay back on the hospital bed, sighing as Peter ran his hand over your bump in gentle circles. For once, you let him. Your cramps had surprisingly lessened since Peter had shown up, but he did not want to take any chances. It was better to be safe than sorry. He was so worried about you and the baby.

Nurses had been in and out of the room, doing blood work, swabbing, anything necessary to get to the bottom of this. Peter was quiet as he sat on the side of the hospital bed, focused on the massage he was giving your stomach. This was the first time he had touched you since the night you found out you were pregnant.

You could not help back to smile slightly to yourself as his long gentle fingers worked over your skin. He must have sensed your stare because it was not long before his eyes glancing up to meet your stare.

He raised an eyebrow curiously. "Is this okay? I'm not making it worse, am I?"

You shook your head. "It's fine. I'm just watching."

He smiled at you while he continued his massage to your tummy. His eyes looked toward the door when a nurse came in, rolling some equipment over to the bedside.

"Miss. Y/l/n, your lab work should not be much longer. If you do not mind, I would like to do an ultrasound to check on the baby. Is that okay with you?"

You nodded and Peter took his hands back to let her work. She rolled over a chair, taking some gel and squirting some across your lower stomach. The nurse rolled the transducer over the gel and smearing it in as she applied some pleasure in search of a heartbeat. You watched her roam your stomach, biting your bottom lip. Your eyes widened slightly when the sound of the baby's beating heart filled the room. Once the nurse got a clear view, she turned the screen to show you and Peter what she was seeing.

You looked over at the monitor, your heart fluttered slightly at the first sight of your baby. That was your baby, even if it was only a little bean now. You could not stop the smile from forming on your lips. This little bean was life was growing inside of you. This brought a whole new light to your pregnancy. It was like a light had switched on. You did not know how to explain the overwhelming feeling. It felt more real after seeing him or her.

Peter was just as taken back as you. His grin never faded at the sight of your baby. It only made him 10x more eager to be a dad.

"Look at that. Already looks like me." Peter teased and you giggled, considering he or she was not much more than a heartbeat at the moment.

"I can definitely see it." You grinned as Peter rest his hand over yours, sliding his fingers between yours. He brought your hand to his lips before pressing a kiss to the back of it. You watched him kiss your hand and shivered slightly. You did not know what to think of everything at this point.

The nurse checked the baby's heartbeat before turning to the computer behind her and check your lab results with a quiet hum as she scrolled through your charts.

"Well, it seems like everything is just fine. Your baby is certainly healthy and has one of the strongest heartbeats I have ever heard." You looked over at Peter and he only grinned. You could thank Peter for that and all of his spidey senses.

"Your blood pressure was pretty high though and considering your history, your blood pressure has always been perfect. Have you been stressed out lately?" She looked back at you and you nodded slightly.

You were ashamed at how stressed you had let yourself get. "Well, I won't ask for details but if it is anything I can help you with, I would be happy to help. If not, I would stay to keep the stress to a minimum. Your baby does feel anything you feel, so some things can be too much and really take a toll on them." She explained. "Think of this as your baby reminding you to breathe."

You smiled, feeling Peter giving your hand a warm squeeze.

"If your blood pressure does continue to be high, we will see if we can do something to help." You nodded again as she made out some prints of your ultrasound and handing them to you. "If you don't have any questions, I'll let one of the other nurses know and they can keep your paperwork ready for you to go home." She took a paper towel and wiped your stomach clean before tossing it.

With that, she gathered up her equipment before rolling it out of the room with her. You pulled your sweater back down over your stomach.

"Hear that. Now do me a favor and leave all of the worrying up to me." He looked up at you as your eyes stayed glued to your ultrasound prints. His eyes flickered over your face, landing on the bruising mark on your cheek. He reached up, moving a piece of hair back of your face to get a better look. You flinched at the contact. Peter seemed taken back by your flinch.

"What happened? How'd you get that?" You kept your head down with a small frown.

"I invited Chris over to get his stuff. He thought I was taking him back. He didn't take it well." You explained and his eyes widened.

"He hit you?!" You reached Peter's hand as he started to jump up from the bed. "I'll kill him. I swear to you-"

"Peter, please. It's over with now." You assured him, tugging his hand to pull him back to the bed to sit down again. "He's not worth it."

Peter frowned, letting out a deep sigh before leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek. He did not want to stress you any more than you had already been. "I'm sorry he did that to you. I wish I could have been there."

"Honestly, I needed this. It made letting go of him a lot easier."

"Was that all he did?"

You grew quiet.

"Did he..."

"No, he didn't." You shook your head after he could finish his sentence. "He saw that I was pregnant and left."

Peter tried to keep his composure as his fist clenches out of your sight. He could not imagine how someone could lay a single finger on you with intentions to hurt you. He was quiet. He was trying to hold it together for your sake.

"He didn't say anything?"

You stayed quiet for a moment, rubbing your thumb across the print. "Just that he was glad it was your problem and not his." You shrugged your shoulders slightly. "Even though it's not a problem, I am glad it's you and not him. I can't imagine what it would be like to have a baby with someone that selfish."

His clenched fist loosened at your words and his eyes softened. He could not believe his ears. Were you really saying this?

His cheeks blushed a deep shade of red. "You mean that?"

You smiled at him with a nod. "I do. You're so selfless and care so much about what you can do for others. Even though I've been selfish, you still stuck by my side. I honestly couldn't ask for a better father for my baby."

His smile widened as he looked at you, resting his hand on your small bump. "Our baby."

You rested your hand on top of his with a smile, nodding your head. "Our baby." You agreed.

---

It was not long after that the nurse gave you the okay to leave. Peter had stopped to get you something to eat before he took you home. He wanted to make sure you had been fed. All of the little things like this had slowly pulled you closer Peter. You were not used to how observant and patient he was. As much as you knew how wrong your whole situation was, you could not help but to give in to it. Despite your age, Peter had treated you better than any other guy you had been with. Even better than the one you had been with for years. Peter was the blessing you never knew you needed. He was the blessing in disguise.

He held onto your hand, walking up the steps to your apartment and using the keys to unlock the door for you. He didn't expect you to let him stay. All he wanted was to make sure you were okay before he left you alone.

"Thank you for everything." You looked up at him as you both stood in front of your door.

He smiled down at you. "You don't have to thank me."

"You know I owe you."

He rolled his eyes playfully. "You don't owe me anything. You're having our baby. I consider that payment enough." He teases, his hands resting on your waist. He could not help but touch you. In every possible, he would if he could. Your cheeks blushed at his response, looking down but Peter let his finger hook underneath your chin to tilt your head back up. Your lips were barely an inch apart when the moment was quickly ruined.

"What the fuck is going on here?!" A familiar voice pulled you from your moment, making your heart sink to the pit of your stomach when the realization hit. You did not even have to look over to know it was May. Her face was red in anger when your eyes met hers. "You ignore me for weeks and when I come to check on you, you're smacking lips with my nephew?! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Your lips parted to say something, but no words came out. You did not where to begin with explaining yourself to her. You knew this was all wrong, but it was all too late.

"I thought you were hurt, but obviously, you're perfectly fine." She was fuming.

You never wanted her to find out this way. You wished you had more time to think about it and figure out a better way, but this was it. This was the moment of truth and you were terrified to lose your best friend. You felt tears forming in your eyes and Peter frowned.

"Aunt May, stop."

"Stop?! I'm not going to stop! You're not going to use my nephew so you can get over your worthless ex-boyfriend."

"Aunt May!"

You fought to hold back your tears until you could not anymore. You felt the tears running down your face. As much of a low blow that was, you felt you deserved to hear it. "Peter, i-it's okay." You struggled to form your words. You were hurt, embarrassed, ashamed.

"No, it's not." He shook his head, pointing a finger at May as she stood only a few feet distance from the two of you by her car. "You've gone too far."

"I don't understand how you think this is okay, Y/n." She shook her head, ashamed at you.

"I didn't expect for it to be like this. I didn't mean for any of this to happen." You confessed.

"Just like you never meant for all those one-night stands to happen huh? I trusted you!" She yelled, making you flinch. You hung your head in defeat, glancing at Peter with sad eyes before going inside. You could not stomach the rest of the conversation without sobbing. You tried to calm yourself once you were inside.

"That's enough!" Peter yelled suddenly. "I am capable of making my own decisions. I don't need you to decide what is best for me, Aunt May. I'm not here against my will and neither is she."

"She's supposed to be my friend." She didn't know what to make of this.

"You're supposed to be my Aunt! You knew how hard I crushed over her. For years you knew."

"I thought it was just a crush."

He moved closer to her in the parking lot. It was never just a crush. He was head over heels for you. "I love her. I've always loved her. You're can either respect it or accept it, because it's either way, she's pregnant and nothing is going to change that." He stood by her car.

Her mouth fell open in shock. She did not know what to think. Never in a million years would have thought this would happen, but then again never would have you.

"Pregnant?" Her voice was quiet.

He nodded. "I'm gonna be a dad, Aunt May." He pulled his copy of the prints out of his wallet and showing them to her.

She was at a loss for words. He was right. There was nothing she could do about that. May stared at the prints for a moment, trying to process everything in the short time it had all happened.

"Peter... I don't understand..."

"She almost had a miscarriage today because she's been stressing herself out over Chris. You're not going to take this away from me." He looks down at her, taking the prints back from her." He looked down at her as she stared back with a small frown. "Go home, Aunt May before we both do something we'll regret. You can come back when you're ready to apologize for this." He held the car door open for her and she hesitated before slowly getting in the car.

She knew she was in the wrong for how she had handled things, but Peter did not give her the chance to even risk making things worse. Peter felt deep in his heart despite everything she would come around. She would realize how happy you made him and she would accept it, but for now, she needed to leave.

Peter walked back to your front door, knocking on the door with a sigh. After a few moments, you moved from your spot on the couch to answer the door. You opened it slightly to see Peter and you glanced behind him at May's car pulling out of the parking lot.

"How are you?" He frowned when he saw your red watery eyes.

"I feel awful."

He sighed when you finally let go of the door and he stepped inside of the apartment. He let the door close behind him. His arms wrapped around your body instantly, pulling you against mine as he hugged you, resting his head against yours and kissing the top of it. "I'm so sorry. I know it's hard to believe now, but she'll come around. Just give her some time."

"She was going to find out sooner or later. I expected that reaction. I just wasn't prepared for it right now." You pointed out as your head rested against his chest, letting him hold onto you.

You closed your eyes, listening to his heartbeat. You relaxed in his arms. Your eyes were burning from all the tears shed. Peter scooped your body up in his arms bridal style, carrying you down the hall to the bedroom. He laid you down on the bed, sliding into the bed with you as his arms naturally found their way around your waist. Your head fell to his chest as you got lost in your thoughts for a moment.

"I'm starting to think I can never make the right choices." You admitted, laughing slightly to yourself and Peter tilted your head up to look at him.

His lips pressed a kiss to your nose. "Sometimes, the wrong choices bring us to the right places." He assured you before leaning in to close the space between your lips and kissing your lips.

He was true to word. No matter how much you held yourself back, every wrong choice you had ever made in your life brought you to this moment with Peter. This opportunity with Peter to finally get your life right. It was your chance to allow yourself the happiness you knew you both deserved.

End Credits Scene

He was not sure how long he had been sitting with his wrists and ankles restrained to a chair in the middle of a dark room. Maybe hours. It even could have been days. He was not sure. His eyes blinked rapidly to adjust to the light that poured into the room when he finally heard a heavy door open.

"Oh good, you're awake." He was covered in sweat from fear and the heat of the closed-off room. He could make out bits of a red and blue suit. His eyes must have been playing tricks on him. When his eyes finally adjusted to the light, his eyes widened at the sight of Spiderman in front of him. He did not understand what was going on. Spiderman is supposed to save people.

His mouth was covered with solid webbing so he could not speak.

"I'm sure you're wondering why you're here." Peter moved closer to him as he spoke. He leaned down, ripping the webbing from Chris' mouth and making him cry out in pain from the grip it had on his skin. "You see Chris if there's one thing I hate, it's people who hurt the people I care about."

"W-What are you talking about? I haven't done anything."

"Don't play dumb." Peter gritted his teeth underneath his mask, backhanding Chris across the face before gripping his jaw. "You know exactly what you did, but that's okay because it won't happen again. You'll never touch Y/n again. I'll make sure of that."

Blood dripped from Chris's mouth from how hard Peter hit him. "I should fucking kill you for putting your hands on her." He smirked to himself when Chris starts squirming under his grip. "But I won't."

"I won't. I won't touch her again. I swear-"

"Oh, I know you won't." Peter let go of his jaw before backing up towards the door again.

"W-Where are you going? Aren't you going to let me go?" Chris started to panic as Peter pulled his mask off for Chris to see his face. He wanted this to be the last thing he saw if he died and the thing he would definitely remember if he lived.

"I didn't say I was going to let you go. I said I wasn't going to kill you." He smiled and Chris's mouth fell open slightly at the sight of Peter Parker standing before him. "I was thinking we could make a game out of this. I hear you like games. Let's see just how important you really are. I'm gonna leave you here and we're gonna see if your friends succeed with their search party if they even send one out. I can't imagine what they would care about scum like you for, but I guess we'll see. I give you about 48 hours before your body finishes you off itself. That should give you more than enough time to think about what I've said. That's if you do make it and I don't really have faith that's gonna happen, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. I expect you to get the hell out of New York. I promise to you if ever see you again, I'll kill you."

Chris swallowed hard as Peter stood in the doorway once more, the sun outlining his figure at the door. He was scared of the possibility of not being found. He was furious that a guy like Peter was capable of putting him in a situation like this.

"They'll find me and when they do, you're a dead man, Peter Parker." He pulled at the restraints on his arms with all of his might but he did not stand a chance against the webbing. Peter made it look so easy.

Peter grinned at Chris's promise. He loved the challenge. The possibility that even if someone did find him, he would have the pleasure of killing him himself. It amused Peter that Chris could even have the nerve to threaten him in the position he was in.

"Well, let the game begin." He gave a wave as he started to pull the door closed. Chris yelled to the top of his lungs until the heavy metal door ceased his screams.

#dark peter x reader #dark peter parker #peter parker #dub con #dark!peter parker #dark!peter x reader #peter parker x reader #spiderman x reader #dark!spiderman x reader #dark!spiderman #dark!tom holland #tom holland x reader #peter parker one shot

[bookofmirth]

What pisses me off about the El/riel fandom is that they sh*t on Rhys and say " Oh, so he's allowed to steal Feyre from Tamlin but Azriel isn't??" and then call him a hypocrite.

Rhys's situation:

- He and Feyre share a mating bond.

- He loved Feyre and was even willing to let her be with Tamlin, just for her happiness.

- Tamlin was very abusive towards Feyre and she was doing not okay.

- Feyre herself begged for not Rhys, but literally anyone to come save her.

- Feyre has great powers that would have made her hurt herself and others if Mor and Rhys didn't save her, because she wasn't allowed to lern how to control them.

- Not only did he save her because of his love for her and her health but also because she's needed for war with her powers.

Azriel's situation:

- Elain shares a mating bond with someone else.

- Elain is doing fine and she does not need saving.

- Elain can reject the mating bond and do whatever she whishes. She would have the IC's full protection if she did.

- Lucien keeps his distance and lets her have all the freedom and time she wants.

- Rhys would have let el/riel be happy if Azriel just told him the right reasons. He gave him a goddamn chance.

- Azriel feels entilted to her and the only reason he could give Rhys was "my 2 brothers got 2 of her sisters, so the third sister should be mine"

- Azriel never thought beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to, which shows that he does not have any deep feelings for her.

Like- their situations are entirely different. If Rhys had allowed Azriel to be with Elain after all the crap Azriel has told him... believe me when I say that this relationship wouldn't last long. They wouldn't have a HEA.

(I don't like Rhys that much, but since he did the right decision in the bonus chapter- I defend him only this time)

Rhys lost the majority of his rights after acosf, BUT we do have books and books of him doing the right thing. We know exactly how Rhys behaved when his mate was in love with someone else, about to marry someone else. The whole "what if the Cauldron was wrong" argument holds ZERO weight with Rhysand when that does not matter. When Elain can say "fuck the Cauldron, it's always been Az!" So why does Az mention the Cauldron at all? Or the symmetry? He's desperate and not thinking clearly, and certainly not thinking about what Elain wants or needs - and that in comparison to what you've said about Rhys, who thought of NOTHING but what Feyre wanted and needed.

Honestly, the more I think about it, Az saying "what if the Cauldron was wrong" was like... the last fucking thing to say to Rhys, a dude who was about to let his Cauldron-"given" mate marry someone else. The Cauldron doesn't fucking matter when it comes to love, Az, and you shouldn't have to throw its importance behind your argument when that's the literal opposite of what your bestie and High Lord stands for.

I mean, if the Cauldron was "wrong", then what, Azriel Shadowsinger? Do you think that's a good argument for Rhys to then strong-arm Elain into being with you? Because I think the implications there are nasty, you're desperate and lonely and sad, and it's showing.

Know your audience, Azriel! Rhys was about to suffer for the rest of his life letting Feyre marry Tamlin despite the Cauldron/Mother/whatever pairing them. The fact is that Elain has a mating bond, and knowing it's with someone different wouldn't necessarily change her mind about the concept. If she wanted to be with you (Az), she already would have been because no one is making her act otherwise. Just like Feyre was with Tamlin, despite her bond with Rhys.

Meanwhile, in comparison to how Rhys treated the Feyre situation, Az has done the opposite. Just because he's being quietly disrespectful (not just of the elucien mating bond, but of Rhys, Feyre, Lucien, and Elain as individuals too) doesn't make it any less impactful. And the fact that he was willing to say "what if the Cauldron was wrong" isn't sexy, it's him saying "what if I'm actually her mate and she is forced to consider me instead of Lucien". I think that he was speaking out of desperation and wouldn't actually go so far as to rely on the Cauldron in that way, but why does his mind go there? It's just a sign of his overall mental state, imho.

#antielriel #ask #anon #acotar

[mayans-sauce]

Gemma’s Daughter (1/?)

Pairing: Angel Reyes x Female Reader

Word Count: 1.8K

Warnings: Cursing, angst, yelling, cheating, heartbreak, physical fight

Request by anon which you can find HERE

A/N: thank you for the request! Sorry it’s a little late. I changed it up a bit by having Jax and Gemma still be alive as well as some other things. I’m really happy with how this turned out so I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it <3

Sign up HERE to join my taglist!

GROUP CHAT for updates!

Gif Credit: @pedropcl

This was the third time Angel’s phone went straight to voicemail. It was the middle of the night, and he said he would be home 3 hours ago for his and your movie night which at the end of it, you would share some thrilling life-changing news. You were worried sick about him not returning your calls, worried that something serious had happened. What if he was hurt? Or worse, dead? You decided to shoot him a text; maybe he was doing something important, making it so he couldn’t pick up right now.

📲 Angel😇

Baby, where are you? I’m worried! Please just let me know if you’re safe ok? I have something exciting to tell you. Love you❤️

You texted some of the other guys. None of them had heard anything from him. They told you not to worry. He was probably caught up with something and would turn up eventually. Luckily your brother Jax picked up when you called. You asked him for some guidance on if you should sound the alarm or wait until Angel gave off noise. Since he was in the same life as your husband, you figured he would know what’s best. He told you better to wait. That he was most likely dealing with something that had taken his full attention. If he didn’t turn up tomorrow, Jackson said he would take the drive over to help you look for him. You were so thankful for your big brother. He was always there to help you whenever he could. To protect and love you.

You refused to go to sleep before he came home or before he called you, so you knew he was safe and sound. Some movie was playing on the TV that you didn’t pay much attention to. The battle between you and your eyelids was still going strong. All of a sudden, you were woken up from your zombie state by the front door opening and closing. Footsteps that belonged to no other than Angel made their way into the dim-lit living room.

“Angel!” His movements were sort of clumsy. A sign that he had been drinking. You came to stand at his side. Holding him up by his forearm as it looked like he was going to faint face down ass up on the floor any second. Your nose scrunched up at the strong smell of the alcohol on him. “Angel, I was worried sick! Where were you?” “I was out with my brother.” His words had a pinch of sluggishness in them as he spoke. “We were supposed to have our movie night! We haven’t seen each other all week, and this was going to be our evening together.”

“Ugh,” he tugged himself out of your grasp, which took you by surprise. “Why are you so bossy all the time? I’m a grown man. I can take care of myself.” His words started to sting a little, but you didn’t think that much of it. He was shitfaced drunk, and he wasn’t his usual self. “Angel I-“ “No, you listen here, I’m sick and tired of you always going; oh Angel this oh Angel that,” he tried to mimic your voice but failed miserably, “like shut up. Shut the fuck up for one goddamn second in your life and stop being so fucking clingy.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing from him. The tears in your eyes started to build up as you held two protective hands over your stomach. Your mouth was slightly agape in disbelief. “A-Angel ple-please-“ “No, I don’t fucking care right now. I’m leaving.” And just like that, he turned around and walked out. The force of the door slamming shut shook the whole house as you were left with an emptiness inside you.

The tears ran down your cheeks like it was pouring rain outside. Your body trembled at the anxiety and stress you were feeling at what just happened. You looked down at where your hands were laid over your stomach. “I-I’m so sorry li-little bean. I’m so so-sorry, my sweetheart.”

In the morning, you woke up in the worst state you have ever been in. The same clothes as yesterday were still on you. The pounding in your head wouldn’t seem to stop. Your eyes raw from crying, and your throat felt like rough sandpaper. Wrapping the blanket around yourself, you padded down to the kitchen to get a glass of water. As you stared out the kitchen window, you saw your neighbor playing with their kids, which started the production of tears again.

A gasp left you of the sound from the front door opening and Angel’s voice calling for you. You met him in the living room—both of you staring at each other without saying a word. You should be mad at him, shouldn’t you? To scream at him for saying those hurtful things? But for some reason, your heart wouldn’t allow you to do so. You were just relieved that he had come home.

Angel was the first one to break the awkward silence. “Please… sit,” he pointed towards the sofa. You sat at one end while he took his place at the other. His face was in his hands. It looked like he had something to share with you. “Angel… what is it?” Your voice was nothing but a whisper. His eyes locked with yours and his heart broke when he saw what mess he had left you in. “I’m sorry for how I acted. Yelling at you like that…saying things that aren’t true… it’s not what you deserve. I don’t know what came over me and… I have something I need to tell you.” He looked up to you as tears welled up in his eyes. You gave him a slight nod, a sign that he could go ahead with whatever it was.

“When I left in the night, I was supposed to go over to pop's house to sleep. I didn’t take the bike because I was too shitfaced to drive, so I went on foot hoping that it would sober me up… and... I just kept walking and walking until I found myself… not at Felipe’s.” He peeked up to you from where he was looking down at the floor just a moment ago. His heart broke into microscopic pieces when he saw on your face that you knew where his story was most likely going. As much as he didn’t want to finish, he had to. He had to come clean and straight with you. You deserved that much.

“I found myself at Adelita’s place… and… we hooked up.” The silence after he said that was hefty and long. Once again, he was the one to break it. “Querida… it’s the biggest fucking mistake I have ever made in my fucking life. I don’t know what the fuck came over me to do something like that to you… to us.”

He tried to get a hold of your hand, but you pulled away in disgust. You didn’t want him to touch you after he had been feeling all up on her in the night while you were home alone crying yourself to sleep. You had no words, none. Your mouth was opening and closing, but nothing seemed to escape it. “Please say something.” “Where is she?” “I don’t see ho-“ “Goddammit Angel, just tell me where the fuck she is!” The scream you let out startled him. “Sh-she’s at the clubhouse… there was some emergency that needed to be taken care of, and it couldn’t wait till later.”

At lightning speed, you had grabbed the car keys and were out the door. Angel registered what the fuck was going on when he heard the engine's roar from the car. He was quick to his feet and on his bike to try and catch up before you did anything stupid.

Not thinking straight, you barge through the Templo doors to be met with Adelita and the rest of the MC standing over a map planning something. “Sweetheart, you aren’t supposed to be here,” Bishop said with a stern manner. You didn’t hear him. You didn’t care that you weren’t supposed to be in the room. All you could think about was the rage filling you up as she stood there gloating at you. A smug look on her face that you knew where your man had been last night, all cozy and tangled up together in her sheets.

She didn’t expect you to jump her and start beating the shit out of her; she knew you weren’t that type of girl, so it startled her when you did. That’s when Angel walked in out of breath and saw the scene in front of him that had him stand dead in his tracks as he watched. Your hands punched and scratched as you screamed, "I'm the mother of his child, not you bitch! Don’t ever touch him again!” You didn’t register what you said, and now everyone knew. She tried to fight back, but you were much more powerful than her.

It took the guys a few moments to pull you off as they were in sheer shock at what was going on in front of them. You were usually a shy and sweet girl that wouldn’t even hurt a fly. They were surprised that you so quickly took her down. Once pulled off, Taza escorted Adelita out since it was time for her to leave. “How in the fuck did you do that?” They almost said in unison. "Jax may be my brother, but my mother is Gemma, and you definitely don’t want to fuck with us.” You knew your mother would be proud of you for standing up for yourself and for putting that bitch in her place.

“Wait… you’re pregnant.” “Yes, Angel, I’m fucking pregnant, and you’ve just fucked up our whole relationship, our future.” The tears that were threatening to spill were managed to be put under control by your choice of not showing any of them how you truly felt, sad, empty, alone, and betrayed by Angel’s choices of thinking with his dick and not his fucking brain.

You were about to storm out when he grabbed you by the forearm. “Wait, please… we can fix this! Please let me fix this dulce.” “No, Angel,” you twisted your arm to get loose of his grip; the touch of him made you cringe, “the damage has already been done. I can’t fucking stand to look at you. Not now. I’m going home… I’m going home to Charming for a while.” And with that, you left Angel there to mend his broken pieces at losing the two of you…

To Be Continued

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Thank you for reading❤️ A quick reblog and feedback would be so appreciated❤️ Let me know if you want to be added/removed from the taglist.

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ANGEL REYES TAGLIST: @spnaquakindgdom @Negansnympho89

#mayans mc #mayans mc x reader #mayans mc angst #mayans mc fandom #mayans mc fanfic #mayans mc fx #mayans x reader #mayans angst #mayans fandom #mayans fanfic #mayans fx #angel reyes #angel reyes x reader #angel reyes x you #angel reyes angst #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes fanfic #angel reyes fic #clayton cardenas #mayanssauce writes

[lazarettta]

Misthios

Characters (Reader x Mother Miranda...?) 👀

Rating (T)

Word Count (2.8k)

Warnings (none, first half is has no dialogue, writing while high,)

Once her little warrior, always her little warrior.

I'm sorry if it's hot 🗑💀

The fire was finally the way you wanted it and you could finally fucking rest. You'd been hiking all goddamn day through the rain and snow, and you just wanted a minute to rest and to eat. The sun was starting to set and you still needed to set up your tent, but for the moment you were content to just sit on the log and get warm.

“Who'd ever think a Spartan would be in Rome looking for answers, hm?” it was ironic, how you would've been accused of being a traitor or something like that back then. Ha...back then?

Truthfully you weren't sure anymore where your life really started it's been so long, centuries really if you were being honest. Sometimes even your own secrets were too overwhelming for you to admit, and as the years continued to pass you by it was getting harder and harder for you to hold onto the same principles you once believed in. The wars you've participated in, two of them by choice...and as a favor for the third.

It shouldn't have been possible but it was for you, it was both a blessing and a curse because you were nothing special...you grew up with Spartan blood running through your veins, pushed at a young age to hunt and to protect, it was a common tradition for families then, especially for the oldest or only children. Your didn't ever recall your father, he died in battle before you were born but your mother was there, always. Even if her face was blurry after all of the time that has passed you by—you still remember her teachings and her technique. Your mother was the best hunter in Sparta, proudly.

But after...after her passing, the streets taught you how to be a mercenary at a young age...and then an assassin, not by choice but by necessity because you weren't a good person then, not really, and you still weren't now...but you still had the will do what was right, and so you did.

And maybe that is why the Gods did not let you die in the battlefield when you'd been caught off guard, for what is no longer relevant as it is now long gone, but the scar left through your heart would forever stain you inside and out by some random Greek bastard. You don't remember much of the dying part as much as you remembered how badly it hurt and how livid you were watching him stand over you with his bloody sword raised to the heavens. But just like your pain, that emotion was ebbed away as you laid there dying.

And die you did. And your body laid there for who knows how long but when you woke up, oh you sprung up ready to fight but there wasn't a fight left to be had...the war was over...but you didn't know that until you woke up the second time. Not realizing that your body was next to be burned in the ditch as the battlefield was being cleared of all the corpses from both sides. A gruesome chore performed by the prisoners taken by Sparta.

You had no idea why the Gods healed you and brought you back from the dead, you didn't deserve a second chance (at the time you didn't realize that it was a power). You were blessed by the Gods and that's all that it was, people looked at you with both awe and envy. Some gave all of their iron and dearest family possessions as a gift to the Gods in hopes that their wishes were granted. They hated you and you did not care. You were unstoppable, everyone wanted your attention and your skills—it made you arrogant and stupid for years. And when you caught a pretty nasty gash across your back from a werewolf that ambushed you and your horse, your leathers had been torn and bloody by the time you speared your way through four of those beasts. But while there was blood, there was no wound...the only evidence were the scars it left behind.

Snap!

You turned your head slightly, a few strands of your hair falling in front of your ever sharp (y/e/c) eyes. You stayed perfectly still, eyes scanning the forest surrounding you but there was nothing after several moments. Just as well...with a loud sigh, you finally got up to put up your tent for the night and probably for the next few nights too. You slipped your hunting knife back into your boot but kept it unhooked just in case.

You lived in a time where guns existed but you were always better with a blade. You may not be an active misthios now (mercenary in today's world) but old habits were hard to kick. You were too old and too wise now, even if you didn't look a day over twenty-eight.

The next morning...

You woke with a start your grip around your obsidian hunting knife so tight your knuckles your skin strained against bone. You didn't have a dream but something woke you up, and it wasn't those damn birds chirping literally above your tint. With the help of the morning sun you could even see the spot where one of them pooped. Great. You laid there for a few more minutes, finally relaxed enough to move. You checked your surroundings again, walking around your camp but that feeling of unease didn't go away but it wasn't as strong.

Today was clearer than it was the day before though you still had to deal with the snow and the cold, not that either really bothered you too much. Leaving your camp behind, marking the trees so that you had a way to find your way back through these unfamiliar woods, you set off to find breakfast. You came to an edge, a cliff's peak and you went to stand on the edge of it—to maybe see the rest of the mountain you were exploring but something caught your immediate attention.

When was the last time you ever saw a castle? Not...not those tourist marks they have all over Europe but a castle. The place was eerie but most castles always felt that way to you...but this was different? It was as if the castle was looking right back at you, mocking you. From your vantage point you could make out the edges of a lake through the thick trees, you couldn't see it very well but you could tell it wasn't small nor was it man-made.

It was a pleasant surprise to discover this as you assumed that your trip would mostly be you exploring this cold ass mountain without a proper guide but you didn't need anyone to know why you were really up here, your reasons concerned no one but yourself. That and you knew you'd end up leading your guide. You were better off alone. Or at least that's what you kept telling yourself that but those words stopped being comforting a very long time ago. Not like fate was giving you much of a fucking choice though.

Your stomach growled, reminding you of your hunt...you glanced down at the village below the castle curiously before turning away from the ledge, the heavy aura of the castle still on your back.

~~

Fat and full, that's exactly how you'd describe yourself at the moment. There were more predators in the area than there were prey it seemed but the rabbit you caught seemed plentiful enough. With winter kicking in, the most worrisome predator in the woods would be hibernating leaving nothing but the wolves and maybe a mountain lion for you to deal with if you're lucky. You hefted your smaller backpack onto your back and left your camp, deciding to check out the village to see if you could learn more about the castle.

You were both excited and curious, you'd spent a majority of your modern life exploring the wonders of the Earth and using the currency you've collected throughout your lifetimes to fund whatever myth caught your eye. In other words, you were bored but the thought of war and fighting no longer made your blood sing or your heart race. You've done so much of that already, and lost so much because of it.

“Get back! Get back! Agh—GET THE FUCK BACK!”

Your legs stopped moving immediately and your gloved hand was already wrapped around the hilt of your hunting knife, ears trained. You heard growling and barking not too far from where you stood, maybe two or three hundred feet to your right just through those bushes and that fallen tree. It sounded as if someone was having a bit of trouble with a pack of wolves. Which struck you as odd, you were still pretty high up on the mountains and you hadn't seen anyone else up here in a week, so it couldn't have been a local...could it?

The growling grew more intense and there were sounds of a scuffle and grunts but the man still sounded alive.

And it wasn't your problem. Your days of coming to the rescue were over. You allowed your hand to fall from your knife. You got maybe seven steps away before the man spotted you, he caught a glimpse of your fur lined hood and started screaming for you to help him just as one of the wolves snapped the branch he was holding in half, forcing his back against a tree. His time was counting down now.

He was yelling so loud, you were sure even the villagers could hear him now. There was no way you could walk away now.

“Fucking hell.” with a heavy sigh, you dropped your backpack and stalked in the direction of the soon to be crime scene. You didn't feel the need to mask your presence, you wanted the wolves to know that you were there and that ultimately saved that man's life. The wolves were honed in on you the moment you stepped through the bush but three shots echoed through the small clearing before any of them could pounce in your direction. The echoes faded away quickly, and you sighed again watching the white snow stain red beneath the furry corpses.

The only other sound heard was the man's heavy breathing as he leaned against a tree. You looked down at your gun before putting it back in it's holster on your lower back, you may prefer blades but it was always better to have something and not need it, than to need it and not have it.

“Thank...thank you,”

You looked at the man with furrowed brows...just by looking at him, you knew that he wasn't a native but the moment he opened his mouth only confirmed it. He was American...you spotted all of his gear nearby, torn to shreds and you scoffed.

“I don't think camping is for you.”

“I don't think so either,” He tried for a smile but it was only a grimace, the blonde man pushed himself from the tree and approached you, carefully stepping around the wolves bodies, “I'm uh a bit lost, I guess.”

“And I'm leaving.”

“Wait!” he rushed around you, stopping you and you could've gone through the man if you wanted to...you were taller than him by an inch or two, and you definitely had more mass than he probably knew what to do with, “Listen, I'm obviously not from here, but I'm trying to find my daughter okay, she's—”

“I'm not from around here,” you held your hand to make him stop while simultaneously telling yourself that you're not about to get involved in someone else's mess and derail your own mission, “I'm sorry about your kid, but I can't help you.”

He frowned at you obviously not happy with your answer but he was quickly reaching into his pocket and any normal person, especially someone who is armed, would've taken a step back but you weren't some ordinary person. You simply raised an eyebrow, because you knew that he wasn't going to attack you even though he was probably fully capable of doing so. You assumed that he was about to dig out a baby picture or something but it was just a sheet of paper with writing on it. You took it before he could shove the damn thing in your face and you looked down at it carefully, keeping your face neutral.

“I can't read whatever language that is.”

You glared up at him from beneath your lashes, “And you think that I can?”

“Can you?” he shot back, and you rolled your eyes...your attention back to the paper before shoving it back in his hands, “Well?”

You nearly scowled at his impatience, “It's a mix of Romanian, Serbian and Tatar. Whoever sent that clearly doesn't want anyone else to know what's on it.”

“So you can read it then?”

“Bits and pieces,” You said with a shrug, “I'm not expert but someone named Beneviento is demanding a shorter route for wine delivery from that giant castle.”

He stared at you then down to the paper, which was full from top to bottom, then back to you, “What...that's all? Are you sure?? No, that can't be all...there has to be something about my daughter here! Here, please, just try again slower—”

“That's all I could read.” you shouldered past him, throwing your hood back up and ignoring his calls after you. Your backpack was exactly where you dropped it, you shook off the snow and threw it back on your back not caring about the cool wetness on your back now—you just wanted to get away from this area as quickly as possible. You should've used your knife as those gunshots gave away your position.

“Amateur hour everyone,” you grumbled under your breath...you veered off the path slightly, just in case he tried to follow you (wouldn't be the first time someone tried to force you to help them).

You'd maybe walked for a mile or two down the mountain before you noticed the hairs on the back of your neck standing, you chanced a casual glance over your shoulder but there was no one there, no man nor animal. Licking your dry lips you turned back around but as you were doing so, you caught something in your peripheral. A dark figure, twenty feet away and that's when you noticed how fucking quiet everything was around you...you forced yourself to keep walking even as a feeling of dread began crawling up your back, like two sharp fingers walking along the ridges of your spine.

Pushing the hood from your head, you whirled around with your knife drawn at your side gripping it with the intentions to kill but there was nothing there except two large obsidian feathers fluttering gently down onto the snow at your boots. Feathers?

Cool breath touched the base of your neck when you heard soft chuckling directly behind you. You turned around sharply, easily flipping your knife around but the mass of darkness in front of you disoriented you for a split second and that was all this creature needed. Before you could plunge your knife into it's feathery belly, a pale hand shot out and caught your wrist in a bruising grip as another hand curled itself around your throat, sharp nails oh so slightly pricking your skin.

You were about to kick away when the creature leaned forward, and it's face came from beneath the hood...only it wasn't an it, it was a she, though her entire face was hidden by the gold headgear you could see her lips and...and her eyes.

A pair of eyes you'd never forget in any of your lifetimes. It felt like a millennia ago when those eyes alone had you on your knees covered in fresh warm blood and exhausted from tearing through small armies.

Despite yourself, you were trembling in her ironclad grip, your hand that wasn't still trapped fruitlessly came up to wrap around her wrist as if that was going to help you. You both knew that it wouldn't. She brought you closer until your feet were no longer on the ground and you could feel the tip of your blade pressing against something...no, her...and your nose was nearly touching her helmet.

“ο μικρός μου πολεμιστής...” (my little warrior...) her cool breath washed over your face, her eyes still boring down into yours so intensely you swore you felt the heat, even as her hand tightened around your throat making you choke, but you were fighting against her... “επιτέλους ήρθες σπίτι μου...” her chuckle fell on deaf ears. (you've finally come home to me...)

~~

You were supposed to run into Alcina first 😭, but Miranda works too...(save the best for last obvi) I don't know I am playing Odyssey while waiting for this game to drop and I went The Old Guard route too so then I just ended up writing some shit, and I wanted to try something that's not so maiden-esque lol so I hope it's enjoyable at least...I honestly might make this a WIP...

#resident evil 8 #mother miranda x reader #mother miranda #resident evil #resident evil village #lady alcina #alcina dimitrescu #alcina x reader #dis tew much #assassins creed odyssey #lady dimitrescu #i'm a big simp for these bishes

[gaytaikawaititi]

moments that i would absolutely love to see animated in tlovm bc they will either be more epic than anything or will break my heart completely (giant c1 spoilers below):

SCANBO (and i know we will get it <3333)

„What's my mother's name?!”

Chroma Conclave attack

Gilmore's Disintegrate

Victor the powder merchant

“It was an honor knowing you” “And it will be an honor knowing you still!”

Keyfish

„You spice? D'you spice?”

„I thought he'd never leave!”

„CALL ME A CHILD ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME!”

„Vox Machina. FUCK. SHIT. UP!”

The final “How do you want to do this?”

„Is that my baby girl?”

Tary's flashcards

„No. FIX HIM!”

„My heart is someone else's”

„I should have told you. It's yours.”

Pike teaching Scanlan how to tie knots in the feywild while everyone else gets devoured by a crocodile

“You will leave when Burt Reynolds tells you to leave!”

Vox Moochina

“Hello, I'd like to share the news of our lord and savior, MY AXE IN YOUR FACE!”

“You're the luckiest person in Whitestone. Do you know why? Because you're at the bottom of my list”

Shaming dead ancestors to death

“Do not go far from me”

“Your secret is safe with my indifference”

“I’m not leaving Percy!”

Stealing the broom

“I have passed through fire”

Teleporting inside the dragon

“You will have to amend that one name. It’s actually Lady Vex’ahlia, Baroness of the Third House of Whitestone and Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt”

“I'd like to live long enough to be someone else”

Vax’s first real communion with the Raven Queen

“Don't cry. I'm just a little cold”

Feebleminding Raishan

“You, little elf girl!”

“Take me instead, you raven bitch!”

Divine Intervention on Vorugal

Garmilie reveal

Pike killing Hotis, naked

“Where’s Vax?”

Drinking that alcohol in Marquet

Craven Edge conversation

“Take this hat. It's the hat of disguise”

Scanlan neck target practise

Grog talking to the nymph via Scanlan

“If I could pull the blood of you from my veins and give it back, I would. I want no part of you”

Teaching Grog the alphabet

“This is going to be fun, fun fun!”

Shopping with Tary and Grog

Building sandcastles!

Dalen’s Closet prank shenanigans

Lionel Gayheart. That's it. Just all of him

Two gnomes. One mythical sword, one flute, one cultist cloak

Cum c us 4 a good time

Pokeballing Grog straight onto Kevdak

„I counterspell” „What level?” „Nine”

“I feel like she’s taking a part of me away” “I will bring it with me to remind me of you”

“You blink and it's just feathers”

#i probably missed many of them so #feel free to add your own! #basically what is trying to say is: i want to see the entire campaign animated. like all of it #anyway just thinking about vex and vax and their goodbye made me cry just now #how are they so good at improvised dialogue #laura harp sounds bailey really fucking goes hard let me tell you #critical role #cr spoilers #cr1 #vox machina #tlovm #tlovm spoilers #critical role campaign 1 #txt

[ndntighnari]

Do I hate the fucking cops in every goddamn situation? Yes. Do i have to fucking call them on my neighbour for playing her fucking music st 3:30 in the fucking morning when I'm trying to yet the fuck to bed?? Un FUCKING fortunately. Shes such a fucking moron this is the THIRD TIME ive had to call on this same issue within the last 2 months. Shes gonna get fucking charged with disturbance of the peace if this keeps up i stfg. That or shes gonna get fucking evicted. And i hate landlords immensely but theres a real fucking chance this stupid bitch's friends gave my mother and her bf rolling papers that have been tampered with because they were getting sick while using only those papers. So like good riddance go back home to your rich white mommy and daddy and get OUT of my life you obnoxious culturally appropriative cunt.

#shes so fucking annoying #and has actively pulled her white card on my visibly native mother before. #so i have no sympathy for her right now #fuck this system but fuck this bitch SPECIFICALLY #every time i have to make a call like this i wind up shaking and feel sick for over an hour afterwards #bc i HATE dealing with cops in ANY situation