#for the love of glob please zoom in

[kingcael]

The Tower

#cael does art #chants of sennaar #inspired by Mucha lines but of course I went ham with it #for the love of glob please zoom in

[lockandk3yfiction]

Petals Of A Broken Heart

Title: Petals of A Broken Heart Pairing: Otabek Altin; Yuri Plisetsky Characters: Otabek Altin; Yuri Plisetsky Series: Yuri! On Ice  Rating: T  Word Count: 718

Tags / Content Warnings: Hanahaki Disease; Blood; Unrequited Love; Unresolved Issues; Angst w/o Happy Ending A/N: This story includes mention of blood and detailed vomiting. Summary: He lay with his heart bare in a pile of petals, painted red in blood. Otabeks throat ached as he rasped for breath. Prompt: Rose Petals + Otayuri

Read on AO3

He lay with his heart bare in a pile of petals, painted red in blood. Otabeks throat ached as he rasped for breath. Faintly could he hear the cheers from the television, the squeal of hopeless fans that still somehow held more faith in their princely fairy as he skittered across the ice. Still could they stare at Yuri’s face in awe, witness the fierce intensity of his focused stare without coughing up flowers.

Slowly lolling his head to the side, Otabek watched as the camera’s zoomed in on Yuri’s form once more. Following along with every triple axel and leap into the air, the grip inside Otabeks chest tightened. He swallowed dryly, a prickled tear slipping down the bridge of his nose.

“Yuri…” Otabek gasped, weakly reaching his hand out as the blond finished his choreograph.

Otabek’s vision spotted, Yuri’s victorious smile engulfing the screen before Otabek slipped into unconsciousness.

Otabek later awoke to the sound of ringing, a buzz in his pocket. Checking his surroundings with bleary eyes, Otabek registered that the light outside the window had darkened significantly. The ice program was no longer on and the ringing in his ears insistent for attention.

“Erm, hello.” Otabek coughed between his words, bringing the phone up to his ear.

“Otabek!” Yuri exclaimed. “You’re not going to believe this bullshit!”

“Hm?” Sluggishly Otabek crawled into a sitting position with his back to the couch.

“JJ-”

Otabek rubbed the palm of his hand against his eye, frowning at the bloody saliva that  stuck to his skin.

“- that bastard! He stole the gold from me!”

“Oh..” Otabek used the inside of his shirt collar to wipe off his face.

“Oh?” Yuri’s voice softened. “Is something wrong?”

“No, it’s just…” Otabek trailed off, eyes still wet from hacking up earlier. It hurt to breathe, throat clogged up and his stomach lurching with every exhale. “I just - I don’t feel well.”

“Are you sick?”

“I guess that’s it.” Otabek wished it wasn’t so.

“It’s Valentine’s Day.”

“Yeah.” Otabek shut his wet eyes, biting the inside of his cheek.

“You really shouldn’t be sick on Valentine’s Day. Is someone there with you?”

“No.”

“I wish I were.”

Sudden bile built up inside of Otabek, unwilling to be held hostage by his tight lips. Nearly bending forward in half, Otabek dropped his phone, a fresh new pile of rose petals hurling out of his mouth. Otabek gagged, clenched his fist, and suffered. He suffered through the pain, the heartache, the muffled worried cries of his friend who called his name.

“Otabek! Otabek, are you okay!?”

Globs of spit connected Otabeks lips to the already ruined floor. Pressing his forehead down into the mess, Otabek groaned. The pain grew excruciatingly difficult to contain.

“Otabek!”

“I’m al-alright…” It was a blatant lie.

Gasping for air, Otabek let out the meal he’d been struggling to hold down all day. Vomiting out his feelings in a way he didn’t know possible.

“I’m - I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not. Hold on, I’m -'' There was a clicking noise on the other side of the phone. “I’m booking a flight. I’m gonna be there as soon as I can, okay.”

“No.”

“This isn’t a discussion.”

“Yuri, please.” Otabek’s lips let out a pitiful whimper.

“Otabek.”

“Mm…”

“I’m going and that’s final.”

“The Grand Prix -”

“Doesn’t start for another two weeks. You need someone there now, Otabek.” Yuri’s words were final.

This time Otabek didn’t try to argue; he didn’t have the strength to.

“I’m so tired…” He whispered.

“Get your rest.” Yuri whispered back just as quietly. Something on the other line pinged. “I’ll be there early tomorrow.”

“Hm,” Otabek nodded his head into the floorboards.

“Do you,” Yuri stuttered on a sigh, “want me to stay on the line?”

Otabek melted into the ground, breathing shallowly. “Yeah…”

Tomorrow there’ll be a crick in his neck. Tomorrow a blond will come banging on his door, yelling in his ear. Likely Otabek will only hurt more. Tonight though he needed a soft moment.

Yuri placatingly murmured in Otabek’s ear, a reserved tone not often used before. The blond dotted on him from overseas, lulled the thorns around Otabeks chest to loosen the slightest bit.

In the back of his mind, Otabek knew he should clean up but he was just so…

tired.

#otayuri #yoi #otabek x yurio #otabek altin #yuri plisetsky #key writes

[lets-win-it]

I love taking photos and videos of my pokemon! And there have been so many silly ones this year. Here are some!!

[Camera zooms into Miss Muffet. Win is laughing behind the camera, "Hey Missy, he-" A glob of whipped cream is shot and the phone camera knocking it to the ground. Phone is picked up a few seconds later to show Win covered in whipped cream, and Miss Muffet sitting on her shoulder looking very pleased.]

[Win sets up her phone to film a video of her training with her pokemon. This is early on in her journey, her pokemon are around level 16-18. They come across a level 30 Arcanine. Win and her Beep joke about catching it. They catch it first try.]

[Phone zooms in on Jasmine and Surpanaka as their doing some training. Being similar types with similar moves. (idk trust me they're similar) They seem to really be duking it out, with sitrus berries by their sides if they ever need them. Video cuts to them curling up next to eachother, covered in blankets sleeping. Much better than they do sleeping with anyone else. "...and they were rivals"]

[A video from her early days of traveling and training. Takes place right after her first gym, Cortando, she was walking just along the outskirts to the Dark Team Star Base. Win is filming the video, starting off with her. "we've been here for 14 minutes!" Turns camera to look at Chonky (still a lechonk) and a Ghastly (teeth), Chonky is most obviously asleep and has been for a while while the Ghastly is licking him, mostly likely trying to use that move to do damage. It's not working and Chonky is not waking up. Video cuts to win holding two pokeballs at a healing station. "I found the two most absolute idiots i love them!"]

[One final video! Win, Blade, and Trachu hanging out near the second signpost. They're hiding behind some of the trees and rocks there, Blade and Trachu are laughing while Win's trying to sush them. Camera moves to show Kieran waiting by the signpost confused that Win isn't already there. The video ends with the pokemon shoving Win out of hiding towards Kieran.]

#pokemon irl #pokemon #rotumblr #rotomblr #blueberry notes

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

📽📼LET’S (NOT) KEEP IT PG📼📽

Prompt: Y/N feels bored to death with her life and the absence of her boyfriend Drew. Until he decided to break her routine a little bit, by sending her a not so PG friendly video..

Word count: Long-ish

Pairing: Drew McIntyre x Reader

Warnings: +18, nsfw video, masturbation(male and female), dirty talking, cursing and just pure filth!

Tagging: @blondekel77 , @jibbles26 , @lustyromantic , @drewmcintyrekoccsrocbwdgfan , @akiko-tanaka , @new-zealand-chic @drew-is-boo

Notes: I was going to wait to post this until later this week, but I just couldn’t help myself! This man fucks me up big time... Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

“I cannot be the only person who feels bored to death with her own life, right?” I ask Drew through the webcam

“No, love” He chuckles “You’re not the only one. I feel quite bored myself”

“You? Bored? About wrestling? Thanks for the support babe, but I thought we agreed on not lying to each other on this relationship”

Wrestling was Drew’s life! And I mean it! What kind of person has for a hobby what he does professionally? Drew. What kind of person talks about wrestling all the time, everyday, tries to teach you about it and loves to convince you to watch wrestling matches with him? Drew!

He laughed “I didn’t said I was bored about wrestling, love...” He deviously smirked

“What are you bored about then?” Oh my, this could be fun...

“Not having you with me” He take his shirt off “I miss you babe, I miss kissing you, touching you” His right hand roams down his jeans “I miss waking up to your ass pressed against my cock, I miss the way you ride me” He palmed his semi hard bulge “I miss eating you out, I miss fucking you from behind, I miss how you moan for me to go faster” He unbuttoned his jeans, pulling the zipper down

“Fuck Drew, why are you so good at this?” I was already feeling my lace panties dampen with pleasure

“Show me what you’re wearing, princess” He lazily smirks

I stand up to remove the oversized t-shirt I was wearing (which was one of his) and revealed my baby pink lace bra and panties, one of his favorite.

“Fuck me, lass! You’re gonna kill me..” His hand sank down inside his jeans and I could see him grabbing a handful of his erection

“Drew...don’t be selfish” I whine “I wanna see it” I pouted

“Yeah? You want to see what you’ve done to me?” His hand is slowly moving up and down

“Drewy please daddy, l want to see you jack off baby, don’t be mean to me”

He grinned at me and began to take his jeans off, when his fingers hooked on his boxers to pull it down, I heard

“Hey man, why are you taking so long? We’re going to miss the party!”

Dolph bursted through the door and Drew quickly covered himself with a blanket

“BLOODY HELL, DOLPH! DON’T YOU KNOW HOW TO FUCKING KNOCK?” Drew yelled

“Why should I knock if it’s my room too?” Dolph asked confused

“I’M BUSY, DAMN IT!” Drew yelled again

“Oh! Are you jacking off?“ Dolph giggles “Uuuhhh I’m so gonna tell Y/N that you’re jacking off to porn like a 15 year old boy” His full on laughing now

“Shut up!”

“What are you watching anyways?” Dolph turns the screen to him and sees me (now dressed back with Drew’s t-shirt)

“Oh fuck! Y/N...hi”

“Hi Dolph, how’s going?”

“Good, good. You?” He awkwardly says

“Peachy, just peachy”

“Wait, so if it isn’t porn then....oh my fuck, I just interrupted something didn’t I?”

Drew answers yes and I say no at the same time

“Sorry guys, it really wasn’t my intention”

“It’s ok Dolph, we know you didn’t meant it” I say and Drew just huffed

“Well, I’ll talk to you tomorrow then babe” I say “Tell Bayley I’m wishing her a happy birthday”

Drew sighed “I will, love. I love you”

“I love you too, D.”

“Love you more, bye bye” He says

“Bye Y/N” Dolph waves at me and I can’t help but chuckle

“Bye Dolph, have fun at the party”

“Sure thing ma’am!” He winks and Drew stares at him with a deadly glare.

Before I finished the Skype call I saw Drew punching Dolph’s arm, calling him a fucking cockblock.

Later that night, I was getting ready to go to bed when I received a text

❤️Drewy❤️: I can’t stop thinking about you...

With a video attached to it

*A video? Maybe is from Bayley’s birthday party* I thought, since sometimes we would send each other’s videos whenever something was worth watching.

I press play on the video and my jaw dropped

Drew was in the hotel bathroom, naked. He smirks and winks at the camera and roamed it down to film his hand going up and down his deliciously thick hard cock. Every once in a while he would squeeze the head of his cock and made his way down the shaft again.

I texted him back.

Y/N: Are you really gonna tease me like that McIntyre? You’re playing so dirty right now...🔥

He answered in less than 5 seconds

❤️Drewy❤️: You asked me earlier, to show it you...I’m just giving you, what you asked for baby 😉 But if you don’t want to see it anymore, I understand 😔

Y/N: Don’t you dare! I want to see everything! Until the very last drop..🤤

❤️Drewy❤️: I got you baby 😉 I’ll give you something to help you out, while I’m not home ����😈

20 minutes later, I received a 10 minutes video from Drew. I lay down the bed and pressed play.

Drew has settled the phone on the bathroom countertop, his right hand working a figure 8 shape on his length, his left hand would every now and then cup his balls or slide down his long silky dark hair. The sight of him, that way, was the most lustful thing I had ever seen, in my whole life! I always saw myself as so damn lucky for having that man, but now? I was more than certain! I was even thinking about going to church and properly thank God for creating this man (and giving him to me, of course)

His grunts and moans were making me wetter and wetter to the point where I was envying his hand for being wrapped around his cock.

My own hands found my slick slit, two fingers sliding in easily due the wetness of my core.

Drew turned up the pace of his hand and squeezed his dick harder. Suddenly I hear

“Oh fuck Y/N, I wanna fuck you so bad right now baby. My hand is not as good as your pussy, not as tight, not as warm and definitely not as wet” He stopped his actions on his length, gathering a glob of spit on his mouth, Drew let it fall on his cock making me moan at the rawness of it.

He closes his hand around his thickness and I can hear how wet it is, as it slides through his shaft so easily.

“I can’t wait to go home, so my cock can make you feel real good” He grunts “I hate to think that all of my cum will be wasted on my hand when it could have such a better use inside your pussy” His accent grew thicker by the minute

“Or would you like it inside your mouth? I bet you do, love...We both know how much you love giving me head. And you’re so fucking good at it! The best blowjob I’ve ever gotten...Taking it all in, chocking on it like a good little slut”

My fingers were now imitating his pace and I could already feel my orgasm quickly approaching.

“Fuck baby I’m gonna cum” He moans and I see spurts of thick white cum, shooting down his hand, dripping on the floor.

The vision was enough to make me cum as well, my walls clenching tightly around my fingers.

Drew takes the phone off the countertop and zooms in his length and release.

I felt a mini orgasm rush through me as I saw up close the veins of his cock and his cum slipping down his shaft.

“I wished you could lick me clean right now, princess” He focus on his face again and says “Fuck babe, I miss you so much, see you when I get home” He winks and smiles, ending the video.

I decide to call him, he answered on the second ring

“Wow, you should open an OnlyFans account, you’re too good at this!” I joke

He laughed loudly before saying “Oh no baby, that’s just for you eyes only”

“So I have the ok to save it and watch it every fucking day?”

“Yeah, I want you to watch it every fucking day because then you’ll have no time to think about any other man” He teased

“As if I could think about any other man but you” I huffed “You ruined me McIntyre”

“Not the way that I wanted to, though” I can listen the malice on his voice

“Oh but you did! I’ve never came so hard with just my fingers”

“That was my intention, lass” He chuckled

“But you should be careful though, you know?” I say, my voice filled with worry

“Why? Are you gonna post it on PornHub?” He cackle

“You know I would never do that! But I’m just saying you should be careful because... I might send you one while you’re at the gym” My voice low with lust

“Y/N, don’t you dare to do that!” He warns me, but I can hear the excitement behind it.

“Oh you wait and see, baby, you just wait and see...”

God, I love this man!....

Please tell me how many Holy Mary’s should I pray for this devious Scottish sin I just committed? 🤣 Please leave me some feedback if you’re comfortable with it, is always welcomed and appreciated 🥰😘

#drew mcintyre imagine #drew mcintyre smut #drew mcintyre fanfic #drew mcintyre x oc #drew mcintyre x reader #drew mcintyre one shot #drew galloway #drew mcintyre #wwe x reader #wwe smut #wwe imagine #wwe fanfiction #wwe one shot #masochist writes

[pterodactylterrace]

Guys Like You Chapter 19

Title: Guys Like You

Chapter: 19

Chapter Summary: Just a bunch of random fluff for the time being.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy, and so much tooth rotting fluff.

{Prologue} {Chapter 1} {Chapter 2} {Chapter 3} {Chapter 4} {Chapter 5} {Chapter 6} {Chapter 7} {Chapter 8} {Chapter 9} {Chapter 10} {Chapter 11} {Chapter 12} {Chapter 13} {Chapter 14} {Chapter 15} {Chapter 16} {Chapter 17} {Chapter 18}

“Faye?” Henry called out, wandering into the living room where she was lounging on the couch with Kal.

“Yes?” Faye asked slowly, lifting her head from the fluffy canine’s side.

“Would you mind looking this over? Tell me if you’re ok with it?” Henry requested, handing her his phone to look over his newest Instagram post in the making, several pictures lined up and awaiting her approval.

First, was one of his signature boomer selfies, his face and chest covered in pony and princess stickers, glitter shimmering on the planes of his face, almost shining as bright as his smile. Second was a snapshot of his feet, nail polish globbed on the ends of his toes, Briar’s tiny hands in the frame adding more onto the top of his foot. Next was another selfie, his curls now tugged up into random tufts, secured with bright glittery hair ties, another amused smile on his face. Last was a small video clip of Briar painting makeup on his face, chatting away about the differences between unicorns and pegasus’, Henry asking at the very end if he was pretty yet, only for Briar to very definitively tell him ‘no’ and continue brushing over his face with more eyeshadow.

The post was captioned as:

“Girl Dad

#girldad

#glitterbomb

#amIprettynow?”

“That… that’s adorable.” Faye gushed, throwing her arms around his neck, his nervousness fading away. He had yet to introduce his fanbase to Briar. They had seen Faye a few times, different paparazzi photos surfacing of the two of them out together along with her accompanying him to the Witcher premiere. Neither of them minded Faye being photographed. She knew what she was signing up for, and Henry was always careful to only show her the good comments and headlines. The last thing he wanted was for her to be driven away thinking she wasn’t good enough again.

They had yet to reveal Briar’s presence, however. He had a Zoom interview later on in the week, and they had agreed that he could mention her if he was asked about family life. This was just him wanting to reveal his daughter on his own terms before people began trying to invade the child’s privacy. He could already see the feisty toddler chasing after someone with a camera, smacking them with her stuffed rabbit, Kal dutifully chasing after her.

Though, in retrospect, Kal may actually not chase after Briar to back her up. In the last couple of weeks, he had been by Faye’s side almost constantly. Not that he was jealous or anything, but he wasn’t exactly happy about now being Kal’s third favorite human. He’d raised that dog since he was ten weeks old, then Briar comes into his life and suddenly she’s the best thing ever. Now that Faye was pregnant, he split his time between curling up next to Faye and playing with Briar. The only time Henry spent with him was when he fed him, literally drug him out for a walk and at nighttime when he would lay on Faye’s legs all night. The poor dog was going to go crazy after the baby was born trying to split his time between everyone.

“So, is it ok to post?” Henry asked, shooing Kal from the couch so he could be closer to his fiancé. The dog was less than pleased to be uprooted form his spot, but relented and laid at her feet instead, huffing in annoyance as he laid his giant head on her tattooed foot.

“Well, nothing is showing her face, and I can tell you’re about to explode if you don’t tell the world about her soon.” Faye teased, gently kissing his stubbly cheek.

“I’m going to disable comments on it.” Henry explained, taking his phone back to finish the post and upload it to Instagram.

“Might be a good idea.” Faye agreed, peering over his shoulder as the images uploaded, hugging his thick arm to her chest. “I love you so much.”

“Aww. The baby’s making you all mushy.” Henry teased, dropping his phone onto the couch and wrapping his arms around her, kissing the crown of her head.

“Shut up.” Faye whined, leaning further into him, her face drawing into a pout.

“Please don’t cry, I was just teasing.” Henry requested softly.

“Sorry. Hormones are making me crazy.” Faye apologized, hiding her face in his chest.

“There’s no need to apologize.” Henry assured, squeezing her a little tighter.

“We’re going to have to tell Briar eventually.”

“We can’t just wait until the baby gets here and just be all ‘surprise! You’re a big sister!’?”

“No. She’s going to wonder why I’m getting so fat long before then. There will be questions. They might make me cry. Are you still going to love me when I’m huge?” Faye asked suspiciously.

“When you’re rounded out carrying my baby, tits full and just begging to be sucked on? I’m probably going to have a hard time keeping my hands off of you.”

“You can’t keep your hands to yourself now.” Faye teased, turning her head to look up at him.

“You aren’t wrong. I love feeling your skin on mine. In any way I can get it. Kissing you.” He whispered, gently kissing her neck. “Holding your hand.” He continued, tangling their fingers together as he nipped at her neck. “But best of all, I love being buried balls deep in that sweet little pussy of yours.”

“Bedroom. Now.” Faye hissed, Henry popping up with her in his arms, all to eager to carry her back to their bedroom, closing and locking the door before Kal had the chance to squeeze his way in.

~*~

“Just pull it off like a band aid, right?”

“Quick and easy and it’ll be over with.” Henry agreed, wrapping one large paw around her hip and pulling her closer.

“Briar, can you come here for a minute?” Faye called, resting a hand on his knee.

“Hi Mommy!” Briar greeted enthusiastically, practically tacking her mother as she launched herself into her lap, stuffed bunny still in tow.

“Hi.” Faye giggled, situating her daughter in her lap. “Briar, Mommy and Papa have something to tell you.” Faye started, Briar turning her wide innocent gaze up to her mother expectantly. “Henry?” Faye delegated, looking up at him.

“Princess, you’re a big sister. Mummy and Papa are having another baby.” Henry explained, Briar staring blankly up at him for what felt like an eternity, processing what he just said.

“Where?” She finally asked, Henry stifling a laugh at her innocent question.

“The baby is in Mommy’s tummy.” Faye told her, taking her daughter’s tiny hand and resting it on her stomach.

“You ate baby?!” Briar gasped, her eyes going wide as she frantically pulled up her mother’s shirt. “I get you out baby!” She yelled, poking at her mother’s navel, Henry unable to contain his laughter this time.

“The baby needs to stay in Mommy’s tummy until they’re ready to be born. They’re still too little.”

“How baby get there?” Briar asked, continuing to poke at her mother’s stomach curiously.

“Papa put the baby there so they can grow big and strong.”

“Big and strong like Papa!” Briar giggled.

“Yes, like Papa.” Faye laughed. “So, Mommy’s tummy is going to get bigger and bigger as the baby grows, just like when you were in my tummy.”

“I was in you belly?” Briar whispered in amazement. “Papa tummy get big too?”

“Yes, you were and no, I don’t see Papa getting a big tummy anytime soon.” Faye laughed.

“Nope, no tummy.” Briar confirmed after pulling up Henry’s t-shirt and taking in his still firm, furry abdomen.

“Thank you.” Henry chuckled, pushing his shirt back down and kissing the top of her head. “So, is that ok with you, princess? Would you like to be a big sister?”

“Yeah! I help with baby!” Briar squealed excitedly, hugging her stuffed bunny close to her chest and bouncing on her mother’s lap.

“Will you show Papa how to take care of a baby?” Henry asked, Briar nodding her head excitedly.

“Yeah! I show you!” She agreed.

“Ok, how do you hold the baby?” Henry asked, leaning down to look her in the eye.

“Like this!” Briar explained, cradling her stuffed rabbit in her arms.

“Ok, I think I can do that. How do you burp the baby?” Briar flipped the bunny up onto her shoulder, smacking it on the back and looking up at Henry to make sure he was paying attention. “Alright. What about feeding, how do you feed a baby?”

Without missing a beat, Briar pulled up her shirt and pressed the bunny’s face to her chest, Henry bursting out laughing along with Faye. “Very good, sweetheart.” Faye praised around a laugh, kissing the top of her daughter’s head. “Now why don’t you go play with Kal for a little bit?”

“Kal!” Briar called, hopping off her mother’s lap and running off to her room, the canine hot on her heels.

“I still don’t think I’m going to be very good at breastfeeding.” Henry lamented, Faye snickering and shaking her head.

“Yours are still bigger than mine.” Faye pointed out, playfully grabbing at his chest.

“I’m not so sure about that anymore.” Henry teased, resting one hand on the side of his chest she wasn’t groping and the other on Faye’s swollen breasts, pretending to contemplate as he shamelessly squeezed at her chest.

“You may have a point. The only bras that fit anymore are sports bras. I’m gonna need to buy more. Sports bras and swollen tits are not a fun combination right now.”

“You have my attention.” Henry purred, perking up at her declaration.

“Henry, I’m going to be getting ugly nursing bras, not sexy lingerie.”

“Why not both?”

“Really?”

“What? You’ve been pouncing me at least twice a day for the last week. How is me wanting to see my gorgeous pregnancy fiancé in something sexy out of line?”

“Ok, first of all, I haven’t been pouncing on you twice a day.” Faye started, Henry raising an amused eyebrow at her declaration. “I may have suggested we get closer a few more times than usual, but it’s not like I’m barging in while you’re busy to try and get some. I’m not some sex crazed maniac.”

“You barged in on me showering twice.”

“You do that to me all the time!”

“And I haven’t been able to complete a workout without you demanding I finish with a round of couples cardio.”

“Have you seen what you look like all sweaty with your muscles all pumped up? It’s not my fault you’re irresistible.”

“I also seem to remember you surprising me in the gaming room and riding me while I was on coms playing world of warcraft.”

“Ok, so like one slutty instance.” Faye scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“There was also that time last week when we went out for dinner. You had your hand shoved down my trousers before the driver even finished putting up the partition.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was bothering you so much.” Faye grouched, crossing her arms and scooting away from him.

“You’re not bothering me at all.” Henry laughed, grabbing her hips and pulling her closer. “I’m just making a point. You can’t keep your hands off of me, and I’m loving every minute of it.”

“Wouldn’t mind your hands on me a little more.” Faye lamented, turning sideways on the couch and tossing her legs over his, leaning back to rest her head on the armrest.

“Are you hinting at something?” Henry asked, his fingers just barely skimming above the waistband of her leggings, a shiver following in their wake.

“Probably not what you’re thinking. My calves have been really tight lately. It would be great if my loving fiancé were to rub them down for me.”

“Are you sure that’s all you’re wanting?” Henry teased, his hands sliding down her legs to gently knead at her tense muscles.

“We’ll see.” Faye half yawned, already settling down for her usual mid-afternoon nap.  

~*~

“Faye.” Henry started out sternly, crossing his arms and raising a brow at his fiancé as she attempted to look innocently over her shoulder.

“Yes, my love?”

“What do you have there?”

“Nothing.”

“So, it’s not another cup of coffee that I’m smelling?” Henry challenged, crossing the room as Faye sat the cup down on the counter, spinning around to face him.

“But… the baby…”

“The baby is the exact reason you asked me to make sure you’re not drinking as much caffeine. Remember what the doctor suggested? Only one a day.” Henry scolded, gripping her hips to pull her closer.

“The baby wants coffee.” Faye whimpered, giving him her best puppy dog face.

“Then the baby will have to settle for decaf.”

“It’s not the same! Why are you being so mean?”

“I’m not. You told me not to let you drink more caffeine than you should, so I am.”

“Can’t you just leave me alone for two minutes? One extra every now and then is fine!” Faye growled.

“Of course I can leave you alone. I’m doing what you asked me to, so don’t yell at me.” Henry stated calmly, reaching past her to grab the pot from the coffee maker, dumping it out and taking it with him to his office, wincing at her irritated ranting. She had been very clear and adamant about him monitoring, and limiting her caffeine intake, especially coffee. Unfortunately, her most recent craving had been exactly what he had been told to keep her from. Why couldn’t she just crave normal things, like pickles and ice cream? No, she had to be obsessed with something she couldn’t have, and now she was extremely upset with him for doing exactly what she had asked him to do. He could almost feel more gray streaking through his hair.

He was just finishing up a phone call with a contractor when he could hear her again, this time strangled sobs and quiet sniffles meeting his ears rather than her ranting. He was up and out the door in a second, almost running into her when he found her loitering just outside the door.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” Henry asked, holding her shoulders gently and leaning down to look at her more closely.

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” Faye apologized, looking up at him with red rimmed eyes.

“Faye, please don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry, I just feel really bad. You’re just doing what I asked, and I started screaming at you!”

“Faye, darling, please calm down.” Henry soothed, pulling her closer and letting her cry into his chest. “I’m not mad, I know you didn’t mean it.”

“I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.”

“Faye, I’m not mad.” Henry insisted, kissing the top of her head. “There’s nothing to forgive. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Faye sniffled, wrapping her arms around his thick waist and squeezing him tight. “I’m sorry I was acting so crazy.”

“There’s nothing to worry about.” Henry repeated, rubbing her back softly. “The builders are going to be starting later on this week.”

“Really?” Faye sniffed, looking back up at him, Henry cupping her face and wiping her tears away with his thumbs.

“Yes. I told you we would get it done in time. It does mean we’ll have to watch Kal when he’s outside now, make sure he’s not getting into anything.”

“This doesn’t even feel real. I’m engaged to an amazing man, pregnant with his baby, living in a house with more than two rooms in it, and now we’re building a guest house out back.” Faye half laughed, reaching up to rest her hands on his wrists.

“Well, originally I wanted to move back to Jersey before we started expanding out family, but well… that didn’t happen. I don’t think moving out of a house we just moved into while you’re pregnant is a good idea, and we don’t have any family that lives close. Next best thing is building a guest house so family can stay without everyone being under each other’s feet.”

“Are you still wanting to move back to Jersey?”

“It would be wonderful if we could, but only if that’s also what you want. I just wanted us to be closer to family.”

“Maybe after I recover would be a good time. Kinda sucks that we’re building just to sell the house not long after.”

“We don’t have to sell it. Unless you’re not wanting to come back here at all.”

“Hen, you have to remember, I’m not the kind of person that owns multiple houses. I’m used to renting questioningly inhabitable apartments.”

“Never again.” Henry stated firmly. “Only the best for you from now on.”

~*~

Five minutes. They made it five minutes before being interrupted. Four minutes longer than he thought it would take. He gave Briar specific instructions not to come into his office until the door was open again. He never should have said anything. She normally never went into his office, finding the room ‘boring’ even after she put stickers all over the back of the door and window clings to the window. Now that he had told her not to come in, she was looking for reasons to do just that.

The interviewer had just asked him a question, and he opened his mouth to answer when he saw the door opening out of the corner of his eye.

“Yes, Princess?” Henry sighed, smiling and turning his head to see her standing perfectly still in the doorway.

“Hi.” She whispered, quickly running over to him and throwing her arms around his leg. “I love you!”

“I love you too, Princess.” Henry replied quietly, gently removing her from his leg and shooing her off towards the door, “Papa’s busy right now, so you need to wait outside, ok?”

“Ok.” Briar agreed, sitting down in the open doorway and staring at him again.

“Can you close the door, please?”

“But I wanna see you.” Briar pouted, her face falling at his stern look, standing herself up and closing the door again. He could faintly hear her crying her way down the hall, his heart shattering at the sound.

“Sorry.” Henry apologized, shifting uncomfortably. He wanted nothing more than to go and apologize for pushing her away like that, but the interview wasn’t quite over yet.

“Was that your daughter?”

“Yes, it was.” Henry responded, unable to keep the smile from his face.

“When are we going to get a peek at your family? There have been rumors of you settling down.”

“Yes, I am settling down.” Henry agreed, “I have found the most wonderful, amazing woman. We don’t want the children to be drawn into everything, though. That’s a pretty big boundary for us.”

“Children? As in, more than one?”

“We do see more children in our future.” Henry skittered around the question. Faye had been adamant about waiting until they knew what they were having before announcing it to the world.

“Papa, I brought you something.” Briar’s small voice cut in, peeking her head around the cracked open door, holding up a sticker she had already peeled from its backing.

“Thank you, princess. Papa’s trying to work now.” Henry chastised softly, leaning down when she crossed the room to let her place the pony sticker on his cheek.

“Almost done?” Briar asked hopefully, batting her lashes at him.

“Almost. Why don’t you go get Kal’s leash on him? We’ll take him for a walk just as soon as I finish up here.”

“Ok, Papa!” Briar gasped excitedly, rushing out the open door again.

“That should give us about two minutes.” Henry laughed, turning his attention back to the screen. “I’m terribly sorry about all the interruptions. I would have come in person, but my fiancé isn’t feeling quite well, and I didn’t want to leave her.”

“It’s alright, I understand.” The interviewer assured, flipping through their notes again. “Last question, do you have any future projects in the works?”

“I have one movie that is in post right now, but I haven’t lined anything up right now for afterwards. I’m focusing more on family at the moment.”

“You’ve stated before that having a family was your dream. What’s it feel like to have it actually happening right now?”

“I’m happier now than I’ve ever been.”

Tags:  @weallhaveadestiny @lunedelorient @summersong69 @mis-lil-red @lharrietg @amberangel112 @mansaaay @packerfan43

#guys like you #guys like you fic #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill rpf #henry cavill fanfic #rpf

[intimidatingpuffinstudios]

I’m releasing an old Patreon story publicly!

This here, folks, is a fic about Morkai and Straasa shenanigans from when they were teenagers!

Straasa even references this incident in-game if you pick that drawing is your hobby!

Hope you like it! Enjoy!

~*~

The paints are arranged beautifully in front of him, waiting to be combined in a pandemonium of colors and vibrancy. New worlds are waiting to be birthed on his command, starry skies and green fields waiting to be unleashed.

Straasa stares at the blank canvas, and the vast emptiness stares back.  Not even a single line of color mars its snowy surface, and while he could probably spin some wild tale about life and its meaninglessness being depicted on this very piece of paper, he doubts his father would appreciate the philosophical musings.

Or even if he did, then Miriel certainly wouldn’t. She spent a fortune to get all these wildly expensive paints for him. He had mentioned once that he would like to try it out, and now he was suddenly expected to create a masterpiece breath-taking enough to compete with the masters.

And that masterpiece will, of course, be an utterly life-like portrait of Miriel’s likeness, every single nuance captured to depict her profound and inimitable beauty. He’d be lucky if he could paint a realistic stick figure at this point.

He slowly puts down the palette, all 16 of the years of his life weighing down on him. She’s going to be so disappointed. He hates it when she looks at him with that look—the look that says that he didn’t try enough, didn’t love her enough, wasn’t good enough. In anything at all.

“I have to say, what you’ve created portrays Miriel’s vapidness quite well, I’m proud of you, man.”

Straasa springs up from his stool as swiftly as a snake springs from the sand, his heart beating like mad in his chest. His stares at Morkai with eyes wide open, a hand clutched over his chest. What is he doing here? He wasn’t supposed to come in today! Miriel would have a fit!

“Morkai,” he hisses, trying to keep his voice down in case someone is passing by outside his room.

“What are you doing here? Miriel said that you can’t come by until I’m done with her portrait! She’ll skin us both if she finds you here! And how did you get in without me hearing you?!” the blue-eyed teen whispers furiously, grabbing his friend’s arm and trying to lead him out.

Morkai, of course, doesn’t budge, looking at the blank canvas with an air of snobbish evaluation. He nods his head sagely, pointing to an indeterminate point.

“This part particularly, where her heart should be, I think you’ve captured that part to perfection. Yes, I’m quite pleased. I will hang this above your bedroom door,” the redhead keeps on going, acting for all intents and purposes like this is a fabulous piece of art that he is critiquing with his sharp eye.

Straasa exhales loudly in frustration and stops trying to move his stubborn friend. No one can make Morkai budge if he doesn’t want to be moved. He is already almost as tall as his father and Rhaygan is nothing to scoff at, towering over everyone at 6’2”.

But then Straasa notices a sweet smell coming off of Morkai, something that reminds him suspiciously of… His eyes zoom in on the satchel hanging from his friend’s waist, and his hands swoop in to open it greedily.

The redhead grins at him roguishly as Straasa finds what he was looking for— a small, cloth-wrapped bundle containing nothing but…  lemon cakes! His favorite! He didn’t think the kitchens would make that today!

“How did you get these?!” he exclaims in glee, immediately snatching one of the pastries up and bringing it to his mouth. Morkai’s grin gets even wider, like a cat that has just gotten the cream.

“You know Ilya likes me. I promised her a moonlit walk in the gardens tomorrow night if she would make these for me,” Morkai informs him smugly. Ilya, the cook in training in their mansion. She thinks Morkai has hung the sun and stars, the poor girl.

“You’ll keep your word to her, right?” the blue-eyed teen asks a bit uneasily. He knows that Morkai doesn’t particularly care for the girl. His friend has at least the grace to look completely affronted.

“Of course I will! Who do you take me for, man?! That’s insulting! I’m a man of my word! Trust me, I’ll give her a night she’ll never forget,” the redhead reassures him, his smirk turning lecherous, and Straasa rolls his eyes in response.

He instead turns his attention to the delicious cakes, leaving Morkai to his thorough examination of the snow-white canvas. The red-haired boy makes a small “Ah,” sound like he has just figured something out, but Straasa doesn’t turn to look at what his friend is doing.

A mistake in hindsight. A huge one at that, too.  Once he’s done demolishing the sugary treats, Straasa finally raises his eyes and immediately freezes, his mind refusing to take in the devastation right in front of him.

He can feel the cakes coming up as he stares horrified at the huge boobs Morkai has drawn on the canvas, complete with a donkey’s head attached to them. Because it’s certainly the breasts that take the place of honor in this ‘painting,’ they’re twice the size of the equine head.

“Shit, no!” Straasa shrieks in desperation, covering his eyes with sticky fingers. He lifts his hand after a moment as if time might have erased the abomination from existence, but no, it’s still there, still glaring at him accusingly.

Morkai, for his part, looks exceedingly satisfied with himself, not realizing that Straasa was given no spare canvases in case he messed up. He was supposed to get it at first try. There is no way to hide this from his step-mother.

He is doomed. Absolutely freaking doomed. Morkai seems to register that his friend has gone pale as a sheet, almost shaking in front of him. He quickly sets the palette down and grabs Straasa by the shoulders, making him look at him.

“Hey, man, it was just a joke. We’ll tell her I did it, since it’s the truth and also because she can do absolutely nothing to me,” the green-eyed teen tries to comfort his distraught friend, having no idea what exactly Miriel could do to punish them both.

She could deny Morkai visits and the other way around. She could keep them apart and had already threatened to do so many times. This would surely be the last straw, causing the threat to become a reality.

“And if she tries to separate us, I have Ilya to sneak me in whenever I want.”

Straasa’s eyes snap to Morkai’s, surprised, hopeful. How had Morkai figured this out?  Straasa had never told him of Miriel’s threats. And was this the reason his friend kept on indulging Ilya when he wasn’t all that interested in her?

The redhead was a lot more devious than Straasa originally thought. Also, kind of ruthless, using people to get what he wants. But Straasa can’t help but feel grateful to him. For making the situation at least sort of bearable. Even if it was him that created the problem in the first place.

The hands on his shoulders suddenly grip him tightly, and Morkai’s gaze turns far-away and distant, then an unholy light enters his eyes. It’s like a candle has been lit behind them, and Straasa knows that he is in serious trouble. When the redhead gets this excited, it means disaster is at hand.

“Morkai, no! Whatever you’re thinking…!” Straasa tries to caution, but his warning is cut short by a colorful missile hitting him straight on the mouth. Paint. It’s a glob of red, incredibly expensive paint that Morkai has scooped up from the palette and launched right at his face.

It dribbles down the blue-eyed teen's chin, and Straasa can taste it in his mouth. He wonders in a panicky sort of way if he can get poisoned from this. Morkai, having efficiently shut his friend up, turns his attention to his short-lived masterpiece.

His large hand scoops up more of the paint, and he slathers it over the breasted donkey in wide strokes, erasing all evidence of Miriel’s supposed likeness under a mountain of mismatched colors.

Once he’s done, he looks at the canvas with a forlorn look, like he regrets erasing the monstrosity from existence.

“It’s a pity, really. I believe I captured her essence perfectly,” he mourns, the palette still held in his hand. Straasa wipes his mouth and takes the weapon of destruction away from his friend.

“She doesn’t look like a donkey, Morkai, she’s beautiful,” he chastises the redhead, taking one of the brushes in his hand and swirling it through the remaining paint. Morkai shrugs his shoulders in response, not interested in debating Miriel’s beauty.

“Who cares? She behaves like an arse, that’s all that matters. An arse with boobs,” he snickers gleefully, and Straasa seizes the perfect chance as Morkai’s eyes briefly close.

He lunges forward, the brush held like a sword heading straight at his impossible friend’s face. His aim proves true, getting his friend’s nose and part of his cheek. Morkai squawks in outrage and ducks, trying to get the palette away from Straasa. The two grapple for a few minutes, loud laughter and curses echoing in the air around them.

By the time an infuriated “Boys!” slices through the moment, the teens have managed to get their clothes and faces, even their hair covered in remnants of paint. Straasa is laying down on the ground, wheezing, and Morkai is sitting down next to him, still chortling, his leg over Straasa’s calf.

 Furious footsteps head straight for them, and Straasa doesn’t sit up to look who it is. He’d recognize Miriel’s gait anywhere. He instead turns his gaze to look at his friend instead.

Morkai’s eyes are glimmering as he flicks his attention at his friend, shooting him a mischievous grin before he gets up, holding his hands out in surrender in front of him, trying to calm down Miriel’s explosive fury.

Straasa takes a deep breath and gets up to join him. Yet as he looks at his clothes, at Morkai’s, at the mess their grappling has made, at the ruined canvas that held his step-mother’s likeness done Morkai-style…

He chuckles despite knowing it will piss off Miriel even more. He regrets nothing.

 ~*~

#the soul stone war #tssw #snippet #background story #Morkai #Straasa #Patreon

[burnedbyshoto]

Frosting Mishaps

pairing: takami keigo (hawks) x reader

warnings: fluff

word count: 908

a/n: this is for @keigos-dove, i hope you enjoy sweetie!!!!!!!!!!

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

The aroma of freshly baked cookies lingered heavily in the air, the apartment was decorated with loads of reds and greens, Christmas was obviously going on in this household. In the kitchen sat two people who were hovering over two different sugar cookies, decorating to their heart’s content.

“Do you think this cookie looks like Santa?”

Your eyes focused on the terrible red blob of a cookie in front of you.

Cookie decorating seemed so easy in all the YouTube videos you had watched for a solid week in preparation for this event, yet now that you were actually doing this with your boyfriend it was the hardest thing in the world.

“Looks more like satan, dove,” Hawks chuckles as he picks up the cookie, eating it in one bite as you elbow his ribcage in high annoyance and embarrassment.

“Satan wishes he could look that good,” you whine softly as you stare at the snowflake the winged hero had made. Your lips quirking at the way it was also horribly decorated. It looked like a blob of grey mass and you pointed it at him and laughed. “That looks gross Keigo.”

“It’s supposed to, its actually an art piece,” Hawks states as he places his pointer finger and thumb to his chin striking a smart man pose. “It’s entitled ‘y/n’s selfies’!”

He got another elbow jab for that comment.

“That’s mean,” you pout as you pick out another cookie to decorate, you choose a simple angel as it will hopefully use just two colors. “You don’t see me roasting you every second of every day!”

“It’s alright, your love is more than enough to get me through you not roasting me constantly!”

Your lips pull into a pout as you continue staring down at the angel cookie.

The white frosting tube was nearly empty in your hand as you lined the cookie in front of you. You could feel Hawks leaning next to you, he was chewing a cookie rather loudly as he made commentary about your decoration ability.

“Keigo, if you don’t shut up I’ll--!” You snap as you turn towards your chuckling boyfriend who was in no way ready to shut up. “I’ll--?”

“You’ll what, put me on your naughty list?” Hawks teases as he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. “I would personally love to be-- Y/N!!”

A thick paste of white frosting was slathered across his face, trailing from his forehead down onto his chin. Your head snapped back as you laughed in evil mechanical laughter as you brought the tip of the frosted tube and blew it off as if it was a smoking gun.

“I told you!” You taunted as you clasped your tongue licked the frosting that leaked out the tip.

Hawkes blinked at you, his head shaking as he picked up the grey glob of a cookie and slathered the frosting against your cheek.

The shriek that escaped your mouth was loud and shrilly as Hawks roared with laughter as he hopped up from his chair.

This was war it seemed.

The next hour was spent with the two of you flinging and smearing multicolored frosting at each other. Laughter filling the air as dramatic conversations between the two fo you took place. It seemed more as if the two of you were fighting in the fourteenth century then in the modern-day.

It all came to a dramatic end as you straddled Hawks to the ground, you sat on his back, keeping careful of his fluttering wings as you held a bowl of frosting above his head as a looming threat.

“Give up!” You cackled as Hawks hands hovered over his head. “Give up now or else!”

“I will never give up!” Hawks bellowed. “You killed my family, you vile witch, this is my vengeance!”

“Liar! You said I killed your sixteenth cow! Obviously, you don’t have your story straight!”

The tricky hero laughed loudly as he had one last trick up his sleeve. It all happened in slow motion as you saw a single feather escape his wings, and zoomed toward the bowl. Your mouth dropping in your cry of his cheating, but you were too late. The feather pushed the bowl onto your face and you went silent as the bowl clattered to the ground.

You roll off of Hawks, your vision clouded with the sticky frosting dripping from your face.

“Oh my god,” you exclaim as you push to your feet. “Keigo!”

“Oh shit,” Hawks curses as he climbs to his feet his face centimeters from yours as excitement and victory drain from his face to be replaced with regret. “Shit, dove, I didn’t think it was that full!”

With vengeance in mind, you force tears into your eyes as you sniffle loudly.

“Wait! Please don’t cry, I’ll go get--!”

His words died on his throat as you grabbed his face and wiped your face against his, your giggles ringing loudly in his ears as you pull away.

“There, we match!”

You weren’t that wrong, the both of you were caked in red, green, yellow, and now white frosting as Hawks grin widened.

“You minx,” he chuckles as he brings you in, placing a sugar-sweet kiss against your lips.

“Ew, your face is sticky!” You complain despite your growing smile.

“Mm, I guess I can do something about that,” Hawks smirks as he quickly swipes a lick of frosting from your face. “I do like frosting.”

#bnha hawks #hawks x reader #mha hawks #hawks fluff #takami keigo #takami x reader #takami keigo x reader #bnha takami #mha takami #bnha writing blog #bnha #bnha x reader #bnha imagines #mha #mha x reader #mha imagines

[wintersound]

hi! just found you recently and you seem like a kind and understanding person. do you have any advice for getting out of an icky depressive slump? i haven't had anything terrible happen to me lately but i just find it hard to stick to things, whether it's hobbies like art, or responsibilities i have around the house like cleaning up my room. everything just seems like too much, even things i enjoy or things i know i need to finish. ty and hope you enjoyed your christmas!

First of all, thank you for writing all of this out! I think you've already accomplished the first step and that's asking for help. ^_^ I'm proud of you! 🌟

I'm glad nothing terrible has happened lately! When it comes to feeling bad this year I try and remind myself that what the world is experiencing is traumatic! The changes in how we interact with our surroundings and those around us... it's difficult to adjust to!

Here are some tips/advice I have for dealing with depression:

If it's difficult for you to clean up I suggest taking it step by step! The goal is not to finish a task but to make progress (no matter how little, progress is progress!)

Treat yourself! If you've been wanting to watch a movie then go ahead and watch it (online of course ^_^;). Eat breakfast foods for dinner! Have a bubble bath! Do tiny things that make you happy!

This one may seem small but can make a huge difference: Be kind to yourself! If you have a negative thought, combat it with a positive one. Even if you don't believe what you're thinking, with time you will! Honestly, even a neutral thought can help imo. Instead of saying you're amazing, telling yourself you aren't the worst person is a good start.

Get some fresh air! Really! You don't have to go for a walk but stepping outside and and looking at your surroundings is great. I find it to be very grounding.

Try and get out of bed if you can. I know sleeping is reaaaaally enticing but chances are being in bed all day will only contribute to your depression.

I'm excited about this tip. ^_^ When it comes to art try and experiment!! The goal is not to make a masterpiece but to try new things. Try a different style or media! Make a collage if you're typically someone who makes illustrations. Mess around with crayons and just doodle whatever pops up in your head! I like to draw globs and then make a drawing within the lines of the shape.

Talk to people if you can. Tell your loved ones how you feel or talk just to talk! Either way socialization is helpful. Being alone sucks (espc this year!). If you're able to talk to someone over the phone or on zoom please do so!

This year I've found a huge comfort in my religion and God. If you're religious studying and praying are immensely helpful. Knowing that everything will be alright. :') If you aren't religious then just ignore this tip!

Try and avoid listening to or revisiting media that upsets you or reminds you of bad times. Block people liberally, use Tumblr's filtering tool. Stay off social media altogether if that's helpful for you.

Forgive yourself. Be patient. If you relapse or don't do much one day (even multiple days!) that's okay. Recovery is not a straight line, there will be bumps, and periods of time where you may stagnate. If you're alive then you have not failed.

Sorry this is a mess of tips and grammar but hopefully at least a bit of it is helpful! If you need further help my askbox is always open. 💖 You are loved and important!! 💞

#this is not an extensive list only a couple of tips I could think of #therapy is amazing and i recommend it but if you can't afford it or can't attend it then there are resources online! #oof sorry this took forever to answer anon ^_^ #pet a dog -- dance around -- happiness will come again as well as motivation and energy!! #I'm rooting for u!!!!!! #inbox #different things help different people i can only speak from my own experiences! I'm not a professional just a dude w/ depression #- trying his best! #we'll get through this together anon #!

[vannahfanfics]

How about Nami/Chopper/Robin?

Here you go, Anon! This was fun to write; I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Pampered

Nami frowned deeply as she inspected her fingernails on both her hands. Just as she had feared, they had seen better days. Her arms extended to peruse the skin of her arms, finding them in a similar state of disrepair; all the salt and wind of being on the open sea had left them dry an unappealing. Surely her legs fared no better. Finally, she tugged at her twisting locks of tangerine hair. Split ends abounded, and the texture was more akin to rope than hair. Well, that was that.

Nami was in desperate need of a spa day.

She had been sitting on her bed the entire time, so she slung her legs off the side to hop up and stroll over to where Robin was sitting in her designated reading chair, poring over some history book or another. The dark-haired woman’s bright eyes flickered up to meet hers as she stopped in front of her, and she politely closed the book and set it on the small table next to her to properly address her.

“A spa day?” she inquired when Nami voiced her intentions.

“Mm-hmm! A girl requires a little pampering every now and then, you know. It would be no fun to do it all by myself, though,” she pouted slightly. The best part about spa days was having a girl friend to share it with, gossiping and trading personal care secrets. She clasped her hands together in a pleading gesture, brown eyes sparkling innocently. “Please, Robin? It’ll be so much fun! Once we’re all dolled up we can go upstairs and see who can make Sanji pass out from blood loss first!” she teased, appealing to the woman’s undeniable mischievous side. Robin smirked slightly and tapped at her chin with the pad of her index finger.

“I’m intrigued. Sure, let’s have a spa day together, Nami.”

“Oh, boy! Hold on, hold on, I gotta get prepared!” Nami squealed with delight and whirled in a quick pirouette of glee before zooming to the chest sitting at the end of her bed. She rattled off the various items required for a perfect spa day as she dragged them from the contents of the chest, occasionally jumping about to rifle through her nightstand or other various storage containers scattered about the room. As Nami was bursting through the door to their shared bedroom to carry her various articles to the bathroom down the hall, little Chopper came hopping down the steps leading to the upper deck.

“Hello, Nami, Robin!” he chirped happily. His little reindeer hooves clacked against the wooden floor as he approached them. “What is all that, Nami?” he asked curiously as he beheld the pile of stuff the navigator had crammed in her arms.

“We’re having a spa day,” Robin informed him matter-of-factly. He blinked up at them for a minute, and then his black eyes went wide and a big wondrous smile appeared on his furry face.

“A spa day? I’ve never had one of those… Can I have a spa day, too?” Nami and Robin looked at one another in surprise. Chopper hung around the boys a lot, so it was interesting that he desired to partake in something that was societally considered girlish. He was a boy, but Nami generally regarded him as more of a child than anything, and she had been naked in front of him before; he was a doctor, after all. Robin shrugged in indifference, leading Nami to look at Chopper with a nod.

“Of course, Chopper!” The little reindeer and exclaimed in glee, jumping up and down before hastily trotting after the two women as they headed to the bathroom. Nami dumped all of her necessary supplies on the tiled floor before she grabbed the large wooden tub that would hold their bathwater, dragging it over to the faucet and flipping the switch. Hot, steaming water burst from the metal apparatus, sending clouds of steam wisping before her face. Nami grabbed a bottle of her hand-crafted tangerine-scented shampoo and squeezed a little glob of it into the gushing stream; bubbles immediately began billowing up, coating the edge of the tub in the frothing white substance. Once the tub was filled high enough, she cut off the stream and lugged it over to where the two others were waiting. “Part one of Nami’s Spa Day Special- a bubble bath!” she squealed with delight and all but wrenched off her clothes.

She and Robin took seats on the small stools that were situated nearby and scoured themselves with soft, spongy loofas, while Chopper elected to climb into the little tub and sink down to his chin. It didn’t take long for him to start playing with the bubbles, and he had Robin and Nami in fits of laughter as he arranged different ridiculous hats and hairstyles on his head from the plentiful suds, and they joined in once Nami took out the shampoo and conditioner. Robin imitated Franky’s cockatiel-like hair, and it had them rolling around on the tiles giggling. Once he had frolicked to his heart’s content, the two of them scrubbed every square inch of his thick fur with shampoo and conditioner. He climbed out of the tub, standing awkwardly to the side a sopping mess, while Nami tipped the tub over to dump the leftover water out and allow it to drain. The air was filled with the fragrant aroma of citrus fruits, and it clung to their freshly-cleaned bodies. Nami quickly dabbed herself dry with the fluffy towel she had picked specifically for the occasion before gesturing Chopper over so she could dry his voluminous fur.

“Your shampoo and conditioner smells so good, Nami!” he chirped as Nami rubbed the strands of his fur between the cottony surface.

“Thank you, Chopper. Tangerine is a good scent on you!”

“You think so?” She confirmed it with a happy nod. Once Chopper’s hair was reduced to an acceptable level of damp, she set the towel aside and plugged up her hair dryer, sure to leave the cord far away from the puddles of water still glistening across the floor. She dried her hair first, spreading the dark orange waves apart as she ran the hair dryer up and down the strands, until they returned to their shiny, bright tangerine hue. Robin had already finished hers with a second hair dryer, and it shone like threads of obsidian over her slim shoulders. They set Chopper on a stool and each took a side to blow-dry his fur. He sat contented under the warm air and soft strokes of their brushes. “Ahh… This is so nice…”

“Isn’t it?” Nami mused. Between the two of them, the ladies were able to completely dry him from head to toe, and his reindeer fur took on a lovely sheen that it never had before. He kept running his hooves over the fur of his belly, appreciating the cozy softness.

“What are we gonna do now?” he asked Nami excitedly. She and Robin were currently rubbing some vanilla lotion into their skin (Nami thought that the scent would compliment the aroma of her tangerines, and she was right).

“Hold on just a second, Chopper! Once we finish this, we’re gonna do face masks next!”

“Oooh! Face masks!” he squealed elatedly. Once she was finished, Nami rubbed the excess lotion from her hands with her towel and then wrapped the fluffy textile around her body. The rest of her spa kit was piled on her bed back in their bedroom, and so they took the party there. They dressed themselves in a matching set of pajamas that Nami had gotten them one girl’s night out; they were a plaid set of short-shorts and a tank top, Nami’s a summer yellow and Robin’s a soothing lavender. So Chopper didn’t feel left out, she managed to find a graphic tee that would fit him with a bunch of purple and yellow flowers on it, so he matched them, too. The three of them then piled onto Nami’s bed to partake in the face masks.

“Now, Chopper, face masks are for skin, so these won’t really work for you,” Nami told him. Chopper’s little ears flattened to his head as he slumped miserably into the mattress. He instantly perked up when she continued, “But, while Robin and I have these, we’re gonna do something special for your hooves, okay?” She took a buffing pad and threw it to Robin, then procured herself one. “They’re gonna be so shiny and smooth! But you have to be still, okay?”

“Okay!” he beamed brightly. They put the facemasks on before they set to buffing Chopper’s hooves, busying themselves while the creamy concoctions hardened on the sensitive skin of their faces. Chopper obediently remained very still as the two of them smoothed out the chipped, scratched keratin of his dark brown hooves, but his little eyes kept flicking back and forth to watch them, obviously very excited. Nami had estimated the time perfectly; at the moment they finished polishing his hooves, the face masks had finished their work. It clung to Nami’s skin insistently as she peeled it off, and she made a point not to look at all the nastiness that had adhered to its sticky surface. She tossed it in the trash before looking down at Chopper.

“Would you like to paint your hooves?”

“Uh-huh! Can you paint them to match my PJ’s?”

“Of course!” Nami grinned and pulled out her box of nail polish. She had quite the collection; after all, she needed shades for all her outfits! She perused the numerous shades before she found a pair titled Daffodil Days and Lavender Sunrise. “We’ll all have matching nails, right, Robin?”

“Naturally,” she confirmed with a smile. Chopper bounced up and down on the mattress in excitement until Nami tutted at him to be still, lest she smear the paint. She applied the daffodil color as the base, and while it dried on the tips of Chopper’s hooves, she and Robin applied it to both their fingernails and toenails (after buffing their own nails, of course). Once they started waving their hands above to dry them faster, Chopper copied the motion, laughing with glee. Once they were sufficiently dry, Nami added a bit of floral flair by dabbing dots on each one to make something reminiscent of lavender blossoms. She added a touch of white on the ends to make them pop. Chopper’s eyes went big as he stared at his decorated hooves in wonder.

“Wow, Nami! You’re so talented!” he cooed. Nami chuckled, but not too much because she didn’t want to blur the paint she was dabbing onto Robin’s toenails.

“I’m not the best nail artist, but I have a few tricks up my sleeve.”

The girls waited for their nails to dry before adding a coat of sealing polish for gloss, and then their spa routine was complete. “So, Chopper, what did you think of our spa day?”

“It was so much fun!” he squealed, painted hooves waving about in the air. She and Robin chuckled light-heartedly. “Can we do it again sometime?”

“Sure!”

“We’d love to, Chopper.” His smile practically radiated sunshine, and Nami was again struck by how absolutely adorable their little doctor was. It was almost like having a child to dote on. Based on the motherly smile Robin gave him as she patted the top of his head, Robin agreed. The smile then fell from his face, and his little shoulders slumped dejectedly. “What is it, Chopper?”

“I’m sad because it’s over now…”

“Don’t be sad!” Nami grinned, and he looked up at her with wide eyes. “Don’t you know what comes after spa days? Sleepovers!”

“Oh boy, oh boy!” he cried, instantly elated again. He jumped down from Nami’s bed to scurry over to the door and throw it open. “I’m gonna go get a pillow and blanket! And ask Sanji for popcorn! And show everyone my pretty hooves! Oh boy, oh boy, I can’t wait!” he howled as he ran down the hall. Nami giggled at his boundless energy and leaned back into her pillows, looking at her now neatly manicured and painted nails.

Reindeers need pampering every now and then too, I guess!

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to perusemy Tableof Contents!

Tag List: @searchfortheonepiece

#one piece #nami #chopper #robin #cat thief nami #nico robin #tony tony chopper #one piece fanfiction #one piece fanfic #one piece fic #op fanfiction #op fanfic #op fic #fluff #friendship #spa day #girls day (plus chopper)

[artificialqueens]

As Long as You Love Me So, Let it snow (Pharon + other queens) - Sammy Indigo

A/N: Anyone else just horrifically exhausted? Don’t worry, many of us are all in the same boat, and I really do feel for you. I hope you enjoy this little story of mine, and keep on keeping on. <3

It was the third solid ‘Thud’ to the side of the bus, that eventually encouraged Jinkx to climb out from their bunk and investigate.

In the little seating area of the bus, most of the other queens were gathered around the coffee table, huddled together to get a good view of Alaska’s laptop that was playing some Netflix show. All four of them jumped at the same time as something frightening happened on the show.

“If I have nightmares tonight,” Shangela said, curling further towards Ivy, “I’m climbing in with one of y’all.”

Thud

They all jumped.

“Shit.” Shangie said. “What the hell is that?”

Aja looked at the ceiling, ominously. “The ghosts coming to get us, sis.”

“Don’t, Aja.”

“It’s the spirits.”

“Shut up.”

Jinkx walked over to the bus window. It was early evening, and the sky was already a dark navy blue. They squinted, cupping their hands around their face in an attempt to see anything other than their own reflection.

For the most part, the coach park they had parked up at was dark and void of movement. In the far distance, Jinkx could hundreds of travelling spots of light; cars zooming past on the freeway. Directly outside the bus, however, appeared empty.

Thud

Shangela screamed.

“Nah, fuck this shit, sis.” Aja said. She grabbed onto Alaska’s arm. “I’m too young to die. Not like this.”

Jinkx turned. The thud, this time, had come from the other side of the bus, where the curtains were drawn closed.

Thud

The queens screamed.

Jinkx quickly moved to the other side of the bus, kneeling on a couch against the wall. They grabbed the edge of the curtain.

Thud

They all screamed again.

The sound came from directly in front of Jinkx face. They took a breath.

“Oh my God.” Alaska whined. “Jinkx, if you die, I’m gonna be so pissed at you.”

Thud

Screams.

Jinkx whipped open the curtain.

“Fuck you, you little cunt! That almost hit me in the money-maker.”

“Where? Your ass?”

“I’m gonna fuck you up, O’Hara!”

Jinkx sighed and turned back to the other queens. “Sharon and Phi Phi are having are snowball fight.”

Thud

Jinkx glanced at the window. A glob of wet slow slid down it slowly.

“Who’s winning?” Aja asked.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Phi Phi screamed. “Don’t, Sharon! NO!”

Snuggling back into her seat, Alaska smirked. “Sounds like Sharon.” 

  …………

  Sharon pinned Phi Phi to the ground, straddling her hips and holding a snowball aloft, tauntingly, over his face.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Phi Phi screamed. “Don’t, Sharon! NO!”

“You try to hit me in the face, I try to hit you in that pretty little mug.” Sharon smiled. “It’s only fair.”

“No it’s not. I was like twenty feet away from you when I threw it.”

Sharon laughed. “Hey, you know what they say?”

Phi Phi grimaced. “What?”

“All’s fair in love and snowball fights.” And with that, Sharon quickly leaned down to peck Phi Phi on the cheek. 

For a millisecond, the terrified expression on Phi Phi’s face morphed onto a tiny soft smile, but the joy was short lived, and Sharon took advantage of her brief lapse in struggle, to shove a handful of snow down the front of Phi Phi’s shirt.

Screaming after Sharon as she sprinted across the parking lot, Phi Phi stood up and attempted to rid himself of the icy snow melting against his bare skin.

“Fuck you!” Phi Phi shouted. “Yeah, you better run! Go back to Party City where you belong!”

At that Sharon turned on her heel, and began running back towards him. 

Phi Phi’s eyes widened in horror. “No, no, no.” He ran to the door of the bus, banging on it over and over.  “Open the door, open the door.” He looked back as Sharon tried scooping up more snow as she ran. “I don’t want to die out here!”

Thud

A snowball hit the bus directly above Phi Phi’s head. 

“Ah!”

  …………

  “Open the door, open the door.” Phi Phi’s voice came from outside.

Jinkx glanced at the group from their position on the couch, now cuddled in between Shangela and Ivy. “Do we open it?”

 “I don’t want to die out here!”

Alaska made a face, scrunching up her nose in consideration, eyes still on the laptop. “I mean, we could….” She trailed off, pulling the blanket she was sharing with Aja, further up towards her nose. “But, it’s so warm in here.”

Phi Phi screamed.

“Yeah. “Shangela agreed. “We don’t wanna let the cold in.”

“Oh God!” Phi Phi called. “Sharon, please, not down my pants!”

Ivy nodded. “And they’re having fun. Let’s let them have their fun.”

The group of queens all nodded, making various sounds of affirmation.

“Hail Satan!”

Alaska smiled. “Yeah. I think Sharon won.”

#pharon #phi phi o'hara #sharon needles #alaska thunderfuck #jinkx monsoon #ivy winters #shangela laquifa wadley #aja #fluff #friendship #25 holiday fics #sammy indigo #rpdr fanfiction #submission

[themurphyzone]

Absolutely Disastrous Ch 11

Ch 11: Milo’s First Gym Battle! The Unpredictable Substitute Gym Leader!

Classes ground to a halt whenever a gym battle took place. Every student and teacher in the school gathered in the bleachers surrounding the battlefield. Even a class of six-year-olds from a nearby primary school had come over to watch. Their teacher wasn’t too pleased with the disruption though. She was busy giving Mrs. Murawski, a teacher at the Rustboro School and referee for the gym battle, an earful about the proper times to allow a gym battle so her students could focus on their lessons. 

“-YOU TRAINERS, AWFUL AT REMEMBERING THAT MATH AND READING ARE JUST AS VITAL!” 

Mrs. Murawski sighed dreamily at the desk she’d carried down herself, ignoring the other teacher completely. 

“-STOP FONDLING THAT DESK LEG AND PAY ATTENTION! MY STUDENTS CAN’T EVEN GET THROUGH A SIMPLE BERENSTAIN BEARTIC BOOK CAUSE OF YOU!” 

Since the gym battle would be delayed until those two sorted out their drama, Melissa and Lydia took the opportunity to review strategies with Milo, while Zack and Amanda distracted Scott from potentially overhearing them and coming up with a counter. 

Supersonic had finally worn off on Zack, but he seemed just as confused as to why Scott was throwing empty candy wrappers into the air like they were flower petals. 

“Don’t let him tire your Pokémon out,” Lydia suggested. “Principal Milder used the same tactic earlier on a boy’s Shroomish. He lucked out, you know. Effect Spore decided to activate when she tried finishing the battle with Tackle. Nosepass went right to sleep and couldn’t block Bullet Seed. If you ask me, he didn’t deserve that badge.” 

“Black hair, glasses, sarcastic, and rude?” Melissa asked. 

“Plaid gray shirt too,” Lydia shuddered. “No fashion sense at all.” 

“I can hear you!” a voice protested from the stands. 

Milo waved at Bradley, who scowled back fiercely. His Shroomish and Minun were playing an odd game of rock-paper-scissors together, ignoring their trainer’s grudge against Milo. 

Well, it looked like rock-paper-scissors, but Milo wasn’t sure how Shroomish managed the appropriate shapes without hands. 

“Hey, you came!” Milo exclaimed. “I bet you’re just as excited as me!” 

“I’m excited to watch you lose,” Bradley said, adding an eye roll for good measure. He turned his attention to Lydia. “And this shirt is part of the Gothitelle Boutique winter line. It’s fashionable.” 

“Sure, if your definition of fashionable includes rainclouds hanging above your head and spreading a mission of doom and gloom,” Lydia retorted.

Bradley flicked his hand dismissively and sat down, still glaring at Milo while he scratched Minun’s ear.

Milo wasn’t sure if Bradley was trying to emulate one of those jerk rival archetypes from Sara’s favorite anime, because he seemed to run more along the lines of grumpy guys with soft spots for non-humans. 

“You’ll do great,” Melissa said. “Just remember, Zack and I are right behind you...and the protective shield.” 

The shield was mostly there to protect spectators from barrages of dirt, water, and other attacks, but it would be good protection against Murphy’s Law as well. 

“You can do it, Milo!” Amanda cheered. Minccino squealed in encouragement, perching on Amanda’s head for a better view. 

Milo took his position on the battlefield. Diogee stood next to him, his front legs trembling with excitement. Milo grinned. 

“You’ll get your chance, but I’d like to lead with Mudkip,” Milo told him. 

Diogee fixed Milo with a red-eyed stare, his chest heaving in a deep sigh.

“Save the best for last, remember?” Milo asked. 

Diogee’s chest puffed out with pride. 

The irate primary school teacher finally gave up berating Murawski and stalked off the field, muttering some very unkind things about Milder’s hiring choices. 

Murawski draped herself across her desk, holding a megaphone in one hand while supporting herself with the other. Milo took the opportunity to set her up with a protective shield of her own as she announced the rules of the gym battle.

“This is a match between Scott, designated gym leader, and Milo, our challenger!” Murawski shouted into the megaphone. “This will be a two-on-two battle and no-SCREEE!” 

Her last word turned into a high-pitch wail that made everyone cover their ears. 

“Sorry! Technical malfunction! Happens all the time!” Murawski giggled nervously, a strange snort coming out of her nose. 

Once he was finished with the shield, Milo set two extra megaphones on the ground next to her desk. “You’ll want those,” he said. 

Murawski took it in stride and shooed him back into position. 

“-no substitutions are allowed. Scott has been given authority to issue the Stone Badge if the challenger wins.” 

“Pumice or feldspar?” Scott asked, digging around in his hard hat, which appeared to be full of small rocks. 

“Do you even have the Stone Badge on your person?” Murawski asked, aiming the megaphone in his direction. 

“My person is Mildred!” Scott exclaimed. 

Murawski stared at him for a few moments, and when he offered no further explanation, she turned her attention to a group of students in the stands. “Allison, grab a Stone Badge from Milder’s office. It’s in the desk, first drawer on your left.” 

Allison ran off and came back with the Stone Badge in record time, evidently not wanting to delay the match any further. 

Murawski stored the badge in her desk for safekeeping. “Commence the battle, and I swear if any of you hurts my little desky-poo...” 

She let the threat hang in the air, then raised a green flag to signal the beginning of the match. 

“Mudkip, let’s do our best!” Milo shouted, sending the Poké Ball flying. Mudkip used Water Gun on his Poké Ball in a display of power and sent it hurtling straight for the megaphone in Murawski’s hand. 

“Save me, desk!” Murawski shrieked, ducking underneath for cover as the Poké Ball shattered the megaphone upon impact. The megaphone released a final screech as its final cry before falling silent. 

“The blue-finned one’s your new friend, Cynthia!” Scott exclaimed, gently setting an orange juice carton down several feet in front of him. 

Milo glanced at the audience, but most of them didn’t look too surprised at Scott’s choice. Zack, Lydia, and Amanda all had to strain Melissa from marching down to Scott and decking him for breaking the sacred rules of battle. 

“Scott, the rulebook clearly states that orange juice cartons are not Pokémon,” Murawski sighed. “Neither are motorbikes, cupholders, or Pikipek.” 

“You mean the native bird of Alola?” Melissa asked, looking up from the notebook she was writing in. 

“Pikipek are evil. They will devour your desks in seconds and have your backup desk as dessert. They are not of this world,” Murawski’s voice dropped to a low hiss, stunning everyone into silence. 

Except for Scott, who just threw his arms up in the air. “It’s the inside that counts!” he exclaimed. 

A green pile of goo oozed out of the carton, reshaping itself into a blobby Pokémon. It smiled at Mudkip, revealing two peg-shaped teeth. 

Milo was no stranger to Grimer, since they lived inside the caves surrounding Mt. Chimney. But he’d never seen a green one before. 

“Milo!” Melissa shouted from the stands. “Alolan Grimer are Poison and Dark type! It’s even more weak to Ground than the ones at Mt. Chimney!” 

“Don’t give him info!” Bradley scoffed. “I’m trying to watch him lose!” 

He was immediately met by four outraged protests. “Quiet, Bradley!” 

Bradley sank further into his seat, grumbling about unlawful interference. 

“Use Mud Slap!” Milo shouted, deciding to open with a super effective move to see how Mudkip fared. 

Mudkip slammed his paws into the rocky ground and released twin jets of mud, which arched towards Cynthia. 

“Make yourself pretty and share your makeup with the blue-finned one!” Scott yelled. 

Cynthia’s body glowed blue and vanished in the blink of an eye. The mud streams hit the ground, leaving a rather ugly splotch of greenish-brown gunk. Before Milo could blink, Cynthia materialized behind Mudkip and spat a glob of acid at him. Mudkip yelped as the sludge hit his shoulder. 

“Are you okay?” Milo asked as Mudkip staggered. 

Mudkip nodded. He wasn’t poisoned for now, but that could change at any moment. 

“Make yourself even prettier!” Scott exclaimed. 

“Try another Mud Slap!” Milo yelled. 

Mud Slap clipped Cynthia’s arm, but didn’t cause enough damage to surprise her. 

Unfortunately, the protective shields did nothing to protect spectators from attacks above their heads. Screams erupted from the stands as people used backpacks, jackets, and each other to block the sludge Cynthia haphazardly lobbed as she zoomed all over the gym. It splattered all over the protective shields, making Murawski shriek and cover her desk protectively. 

Cynthia bounced off the walls at high speeds, leaving small piles of goop behind wherever she landed. Diogee ducked into a small area under the bleachers, dutifully avoiding the sludge piles as he curled up. 

“I’ll call you when it’s your turn!” Milo shouted to Diogee, quickly putting on safety goggles to protect his eyes. 

Scott chuckled at the chaotic scene. “We’re making art! Don’t forget your subject, Cynthia!” 

Cynthia lobbed several globs of sludge at Mudkip, but Mudkip blocked them all with well-aimed Water Gun attacks. However, this didn’t deter Cynthia in the slightest. 

Milo knew he had to do something before Mudkip got too tired to track her. He flicked a stray candy wrapper that had blown onto his shoe. 

There were a lot of candy wrappers on the ground. 

Vaguely, Milo recalled his dad’s wise sayings about Grimer. 

“Grimer love trash of any kind. So if the Bouffalant painting behind us mysteriously disappears one day, I deny any involvement in allowing a Grimer to eat it.”

Granted, the Bouffalant painting hadn’t disappeared under mysterious circumstances yet, but the point still stood.

While Cynthia and Scott were fixated on creating an acidic portrait of a Dustox on the shields, Milo called Mudkip over. Mudkip bounded him up to him, shaking the sludge off his tail. 

“Mudkip, I want you to gather every candy wrapper you can find and put it into a pile. And don’t call Scott’s attention to you,” Milo said. “We have to get Cynthia in one place to hit her. She’s too fast with that double Rock Polish.”

Once Mudkip collected a sizable amount and piled it all into the middle of the field, Milo ordered a Water Gun to get Cynthia and Scott into battle mode. Mudkip stayed near the pile of wrappers, dodging Sludge attacks until Scott finally called for Bite. 

Now that Rock Polish had mostly worn off, Cynthia wasn’t as swift in her movements and Mudkip easily sidestepped her gaping maw. Cynthia crashed into the wrappers, though she wasn’t hurt by the impact and immediately started munching on the wrappers. 

“You’ll ruin your dinner!” Scott shouted. “Don’t you want roast leftover meatloaf on a stick?” 

Cynthia paid him no mind. 

Milo grinned. “She’s in position! Fire at will!” 

Just as Cynthia dropped the last candy wrapper into her mouth, twin jets of mud smacked into her mucky green body. 

Mudkip cheered at the direct hit, but his elation didn’t last long when an enraged Cynthia tried to drop a giant rock on his head. 

“Target practice! Head worth fifty points, fin worth forty, body worth twenty, and limbs are five!” Scott exclaimed. “Bet you can’t beat my record!” 

As a matter of fact, Cynthia really wanted to beat his record. Mudkip panted, crouching low in front of a rocky pillar. Cynthia stretched her slime so that she rose above Mudkip, holding a giant rock above her head with amazing strength. 

“Mudkip, get out of there!” Milo warned. 

Cynthia brought the rock down, and Mudkip’s body suddenly became enveloped in a blinding white glow. His front legs stretched, growing longer until the rock was firmly in his grasp. The form grew larger, then the light died away, revealing a light blue Pokémon with a bipedal stance.

“Let’s finish this off, Marshtomp!” Milo shouted. “Mud Bomb!” 

Marshtomp wrenched the rock out of Cynthia’s grasp, applied a much stronger Water Gun to the rock to break it into dust, and flung the muddy projectile into Cynthia’s torso. 

Acid and mud splatted everywhere, and Cynthia laid unconscious, her peg-like teeth exposed.

Murawski blocked her desk from further attack with one arm while she used the megaphone to announce the results. 

“Grimer is unable to battle!” she proclaimed. 

A resounding cheer came from Milo’s friends. 

“Into the orange juice carton, Cynthia. We’ll dumpster dive for your reward later,” Scott said, coaxing her into the container he’d first thrown onto the field. Once Cynthia was out of sight, Scott grinned widely at Milo. “Have I ever introduced you to Mildred?” 

Milo shook his head. 

“Oh, I haven’t?” Scott looked sheepish. “Whoops, guess I’ll have to fix that! Methuselah, meet Mildred!” 

He placed a milk carton on a flat piece of rock at his waist level. 

Milo waved awkwardly. “It’s Milo.” 

“Sassa-oh no, it’s sorry! Sorry, Mikey!” Scott said. 

Close enough. 

Murawski lifted her megaphone again. “Scott, milk cartons are prohibited from participating in an official gym battle.” 

Scott blinked at her. “Wow. You guys are like, really discriminatory to cartons.” 

The carton glowed red and released a Miltank, who stomped the ground with such force that Milo could feel the tremor. While Milo was curious as to how Scott managed to get a discarded carton to work as a Poké Ball, he didn’t get a chance to ask since Miltank body slammed Marshtomp into the ground without a prompt from her trainer. 

Marshtomp was knocked out instantly. 

“Marshtomp is unable to battle!” Murawski declared. “Both trainers are down to their last Pokémon!” 

“C’MON, MILO! YOU CAN BEAT HIM!” Amanda screeched. She leaned dangerously over the railing. Zack and Lydia hauled her back to her seat, but she barely noticed. 

Bradley muttered something Milo couldn’t make out, but Melissa didn’t look too happy and she ‘accidentally’ jabbed him with her elbow while standing up to cheer for Milo. 

“Looks like you’re up, Diogee!” Milo called as he returned Marshtomp to his  Poké Ball. 

Diogee crawled out from his spot underneath the bleachers and took up a position on the battlefield. 

“No roughhousing!” Scott yelled. “Play nice, Mildred!” 

Mildred took her trainer’s order as an excuse to body slam Diogee, who barely dodged in time. Milo sidestepped to avoid being steamrolled by a charging Miltank, and she crashed into the wall that separated the field and bleachers. 

The spectators behind him screamed as the bleachers shook and collapsed. 

“We’re okay!” Melissa yelled. 

“I can’t feel my appendix!” Zack complained. 

“All of us except Zack’s appendix are okay!” Melissa amended. 

Mildred grinned dizzily, charging back onto the field. Diogee aimed a Cut attack in her direction, but it barely slowed her down. 

“Right hoof, let’s stomp!” Scott yelled as he did some weird jig that involved a lot of leg-shaking. Mildred stomped on Diogee’s hind legs, making him stumble and lose his balance. 

“Are you okay?” Milo asked. Diogee staggered away from Mildred, sending an affirming nod to Milo. “Good! Let’s try Bite!” 

Diogee darted forward, avoiding another Stomp and landing Bite on Mildred’s shoulder. Mildred cried out and tried to shake him off, but Diogee held on tightly. 

“Scratch while you’re in close quarters!” Milo shouted. 

The tips of Diogee’s claws elongated into long, thin strips of light and scratched Mildred in the face and stomach. 

“Good job, Diogee!” Milo praised. 

Diogee broke his Bite attack to give a pleased look at Milo, allowing Mildred to fling him off. 

“Snack break!” Scott exclaimed, wolfing down a can of beans at a speed so fast that Milo was sure he’d choke. He tossed a milk bottle to Mildred, who happily gulped it down. In a few moments, it appeared as though Diogee hadn’t gotten those close quarter hits on Mildred at all. 

“Is that legal?” Milo called to Murawski, who was too busy carrying her desk out of the room to pay attention. 

“You saw the destructive power of that Body Slam!” Murawski shouted. “There is no way I’m risking my desk’s life!” 

“Keep rolling, Mildred!” Scott called as he wiped bean residue from his face. 

Mildred curled into a pink ball and spun in place, building up enough energy to propel her to Diogee. Diogee unleashed several Cuts, two hitting their mark and three that crashed into the ceiling, sending several chunks raining down. 

Milo opened an umbrella to protect himself from the dust. 

Mildred slammed into Diogee, sending him sprawling. Then she continued to roll past him at high speed, ricocheting off a wall as she rolled into him a second time. Diogee retaliated with another Cut, which prevented a third Rollout from connecting and sent Mildred spinning toward Scott’s side of the field. 

Mildred crashed into another wall, and Milo decided that he’d better end this match before the building collapsed. 

“Diogee, cleave a furrow into the ground with Cut!” Milo shouted. 

“Pass the roll and butter, Mildred!” Scott called. 

A well-executed Cut cleared enough rock to form a shallow groove in the ground. 

“Dodge and ready your Razor Wind!” Milo called as Mildred barrelled straight at Diogee. Jumping to the other side to avoid Mildred, Diogee’s horn began to glow white as the winds whipped through his fur. 

Mildred crashed straight into the furrow, her body still a pink and black ball, as if she hadn’t realized she was trapped. 

Once the wind was sufficiently built up, Diogee released it, and the air blades crashed straight into Mildred. She uncurled, panting heavily and making no effort to climb out. 

“Finish with Bite!” Milo yelled. 

The resulting Bite drained the little energy Mildred had left, and she collapsed as soon as Diogee carried her out of the furrow.

Melissa hopped over the railing and grabbed a megaphone that had somehow avoided the line of fire. “Miltank is unable to battle! The winner is Diogee! The challenger wins the match!” 

With the exception of Bradley, the spectators cheered. His friends ran onto the battlefield, loudly cheering for Milo’s victory. Bradley sullenly followed behind them. 

Bradley scowled. “You’re not an official referee!” 

“There’s a rule stating that the family of a gym leader could act as referee if an official ref is unavailable,” Melissa replied with a smirk. “It’s obscure now because the League wants to avoid nepotism, but never officially repealed.”

“Your friend is kinda scary,” Lydia remarked. 

Milo couldn’t reply because Amanda and Minccino were nearly choking him in their enthusiasm. 

Once they allowed him some breathing room, Milo released Marshtomp from his Poké Ball. While Marshtomp would need more rest before battling again, he was well enough to celebrate their victory. 

“You two were awesome today!” Milo exclaimed. 

Diogee and Marshtomp puffed their chests out in pride. 

“It shouldn’t count,” Bradley muttered. “He wasn’t even battling the official leader.”

Lydia left briefly to retrieve the badge from Murawski, who still refused to enter the arena while Scott and Mildred were around. They still had the capacity to destroy her beloved desk. 

Because Scott was the designated gym leader, Lydia had to hand off the badge to him so he could officially present it to Milo. 

“This stone makes you our leader!” Scott declared, dropping the Stone Badge onto Milo’s head. “Cynthia, Mildred, and I are at your command! Who would you like us to trap underground?” 

“Well, there’s someone who owes me money...” Melissa began, but Zack put his hand over her mouth to indicate that they weren’t trapping anyone underground. Scott and Mildred seemed rather disappointed. 

Milo plucked the Stone Badge off his head, passing it around to his friends so they could see it too. Minccino wouldn’t let Amanda give the badge back to Milo until it received a proper cleaning. 

“I just got...A STONE BADGE!” Milo exclaimed once Minccino was satisfied, holding his badge triumphantly in the air. Marshtomp and Diogee struck victory poses. 

“Really?” Melissa asked as Milo stored it in his badge case. 

Milo shrugged. “It looks fun when they do it on TV.” 

“Well, Mildred and I must be off!” Scott saluted as he and Mildred squeezed into a large pipe that had been exposed during the battle. “Those dumpsters ain’t diving themselves!” 

“The next gym leader better not smell like sewer...” Bradley muttered. 

���And then I said ‘girl, that’s not a Trubbish! That Pokémon is way cuter than your hairstyle!’“ Lydia finished, bowing low to a round of applause as they exited the Rustboro School. 

“Trubbish are pretty popular with Dr. Magnezone fans,” Milo said. “Problem is there’s so many nicknamed Trubbishdroid that they can never tell them apart!” 

Zack and Lydia broke into hysterical laughter, and Milo laughed too until he felt someone crash into him. Milo fell back, rubbing his head where it had collided with the other person’s. 

The pain quickly subsided and Milo offered his hand to the other person, who was whimpering fearfully at the empty briefcase he dropped. The green suit looked vaguely familiar. 

“Hey, aren’t you that businessman we helped in Petalburg Woods?” Melissa asked. 

“You have to help me!” the businessman cried out, looking ready to faint at any moment. 

“Yup, it’s him. Before you faint from sheer terror, mind filling us in?” Milo asked. 

“Red mustache! Gray clothes! Stole...weird hat doesn’t match! No, wait!” the businessman screeched, pointing in the direction of the mountains. Melissa and Bradley shot him exasperated looks. “Other way around! Gray mustache and red clothes! Funny hat! Took my goods! The super important goods! Running into Rusnel Tunturf...Neltun Turfrus...I regret skipping lunch...” 

He fainted. 

“I think he meant Rusturf Tunnel,” Amanda said while everyone stared in disbelief. “It’s east of here.” 

“I’m leaving,” Bradley scoffed. “I have my own things to do.”

Melissa latched onto his arm and dragged him to the east exit, ignoring Bradley’s protests. “You’re coming. Milo’s Pokémon are still tired and we could use the extra help.”

Alolan Grimer can learn Rock Polish via TM. Both types of Grimer can learn Rock Tomb.

The bit with Martin saying he wanted to feed the Bouffalant painting to Grimer came from Disco-Do Over, in which one of Martin’s listed dreams is replacing the buffalo painting in the living room.

Whitney’s strategy in the anime was to just have Miltank steamroll her opponent with Rollout until they fainted. Similar concept here really.

First gym battle is done and Milo has the Stone Badge! Next it’s to Rusturf Tunnel they go!

#milo murphy's law #absolutely disastrous #scott the undergrounder #oras au #pokemon au #bradley nicholson #melissa chase #zack underwood #diogee #amanda and lydia

[mosylufanfic]

If you're still taking prompts: “Come on, give me one good reason not to jump in the lake.” Cisco to Caitlin?

I actually wrote a good portion of this back when you requested it, in March or so. Then I forgot about it until just recently, when I felt like writing a fun, fluffy summer story and went, “wait, didn’t I have one of those already?”

So finally, here it is!

Life’s a Beach

Cisco stared longingly at the blue, blue water. “Come on, give me one good reason not to jump in the lake.”

“Cryptosporidium,” Caitlin said, flicking her towel out with a snap of her wrists. “And giardia intestinalis. Both of them are extremely nasty parasites, transmitted through the fecal-oral route.” She looked up and down the beach. “With the number of families here today, at least one kid is going without their diaper. Guaranteed.”

He stared at her. “The fecal-oral route - is that what I think it is?”

“Almost certainly. Also, we have to keep an eye out for nefarious activity,” she added, struggling with a giant beach umbrella.

“You could have opened with that one,” he said, going over and taking it from her. The button was very stubborn. He swore, smacked it with his palm, and the umbrella almost took his nose off when it sprang open. He swore again. “In fact, you could have closed with that too. I only asked for one.”

She took the umbrella back from him and stuck it in the sand. “You still would have argued with me for the next ten minutes. This way, no argument. Sunscreen?”

“I’m good. I got the spray-on stuff.”

She flicked open the bottle with a little snick and started rubbing sunscreen into her legs. He tried not to stare.

He was pretty sure Iris had just been kind, sending them to do recon on the beach where a lot of people were reporting large amounts of missing money this summer. They didn’t even know if there was a meta behind it. But it was a gorgeous, sunny day, just on the edge of hot, and they got to hang out at the beach.

So he wasn’t complaining.

Although the fact that he was hanging out at said beach with Caitlin was causing some issues.

He was supposed to be looking for suspicious characters, but he kept getting distracted by Caitlin in her sunglasses and floppy sun hat and thigh-length black net cover-up. Cover-up was a wild misnomer, because it was basically covering nothing and distracting him with constant glimpses of pale skin.

Or maybe he was just incredibly distracted by her lately.

He didn’t know where this all had come from. Sure, he’d always thought she was beautiful - come on, he had eyes - but lately, it was awfully hard to remember that they were good buddies and no more, when he wanted to touch her and look at her all sorts of places that a good buddy had no business touching or looking.

He busied himself with shaking out his own beach towel and settling himself in the warm sand. He told himself not to stare at the movement of her hands, and the places her hands moved over.

A rustle of cloth made him look up involuntarily. The cover-up was sliding down Caitlin’s arms as she shrugged it off. She let it slip to the beach towel and glanced up at him.

He scrambled to find something to say that wasn’t I think my brain is running out my ears. “Hey. That’s a new suit, isn’t it?”

“Mhmmm,” she said, rubbing sunscreen down her arms. “My old one is about done for. What do you think?”

“It’s nice,” he said airily, sliding his sunglasses back up his nose.

Nice was the understatement of his life.

The last time he’d hung out with Caitlin at the beach, she’d had a sensible red one-piece. This was a green bikini, and clearly the reason her not-cover-up had kept showing skin was that skin was mostly all there was to see. Smooth, creamy skin, a few little moles that looked like dots of chocolate he wanted to lick, the curve of shoulders and legs and hips and stomach.

Stop, he ordered himself,

When she started dabbing sunscreen on her chest and throat and the shadow of her cleavage, he felt pretty proud that he only had to remind himself not to stare at her three times.

He realized that she was saying his name. Had been saying his name for a minute or two now. “Huh?”

“I said, can you get my back?”

Could he rub cream into her nearly-naked back, running his hands over her sun-warmed skin, down the line of her spine? Well, sure, he could. Whether he should was another question.

“Please?” she said.

“Okay,” he said because he was weak, and she was tilting her head and making puppy eyes the way she did. God, he was so weak. “Turn around.”

“Hmm?” She was looking over his shoulder.

“Turn around.”

“No,” she said suddenly. “Come around behind me.”

“What? I’m right here, I - ”

She tipped her sunglasses down and glared at him. “Come around behind me, I said.”

If puppy eyes made him weak, her glare turned him into the puppy.

He came around to sit cross-legged behind her, focusing on the nape of her neck, with the soft little baby hairs curling against it. Yep. This was going to be exactly as bad as he thought.

She handed the sunscreen bottle over her shoulder to him. “Is my phone in my bag?”

“Uh,” he said, rooting around. “Yeah. Here.”

“Thanks.”

He squirted sunscreen onto his fingertips and dabbed it against her shoulder blades. Oh man. That was actually worse. Not only was it supremely inefficient, she wiggled as it tickled her, which made him think of tickling her in other situations, and no, no, stop.

“Hey,” he said. “I’ve got an idea. Why don’t I just spray your back? With my sunscreen!” he added hastily. “It’s the spray-on kind.”

“What SPF is it?” she asked, fiddling with something on her phone.

"Twenty-five? Maybe thirty.” He thought it was overkill putting sunscreen on himself at all, but Caitlin and Iris had teamed up to terrorize him with statistics on skin cancer in people of color, and he wasn’t about to sit through that twice.

“In this sun, I’m going to broil like a lobster with anything less than fifty, trust me,” she said. “Just get a big glob on your hands and stroke it all over my back, okay?” She sounded distracted, looking off at something behind where he’d been sitting earlier.

He breathed through his nose and squeezed the bottle hard. A giant splat of sunscreen landed in his palm. He rubbed his hands together and settled both of them flat on her back

She leaned back into his touch and in spite of the hot sun, he broke out into a cold sweat.

“Cisco,” she murmured. “Do you see that?”

“Uh-huh,” he mumbled. "What?”

How was he supposed to look anywhere with her skin under his hands?

“That,” she said. “Straight ahead.”

Straight ahead was a scatter of freckles to the left of her spine. He wanted to trace them with his fingertip, make them into a constellation.

“The ice cream seller.”

“I’d love some ice cream,” he mumbled. Anything cold. Cryptosporidium or not, the lake was starting to look more and more appealing.

“His customer just handed him a fifty-dollar bill.”

“Must be nice.”

“No, and he got a handful of change back.”

Cisco blinked. Everyone knew shit was overpriced at the lake. That’s why you brought your own treats. But close to fifty dollars for three ice cream cones? He squinted at the stand. “Don’t suppose that’s gourmet ice cream?”

“It would have to be infused with gold flakes to cost that much.”

“How are you seeing this?” he asked. The ice cream seller was a good hundred yards away.

She held up her phone, set to video mode. “That super-zoom app you developed. Very handy.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. What do you think, some kind of mind control?”

Cisco watched the ice-cream buyer come back their way, trying to hold all three cones. “Maybe, but he doesn’t seem that out of it.” He noticed the guy glance up at Caitlin, look away, and then look back.

He couldn’t blame him one bit.

He leaned over Caitlin’s shoulder, maybe a little closer than he needed to, and said,  "Hey, wave him over.“

"Sir,” she called out. “Excuse me!”

As most female-attracted types would when a gorgeous brunette in a bikini waved at them, he detoured. “Yes?”

She took off her sunglasses and smiled up at him. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he said, smiling back.

Caitlin put the earpiece of her sunglasses in her mouth. “Can I just ask how much that ice cream cost?”

She was practically fluttering her lashes. What the hell? Was she flirting with this jerk and his drippy ice cream?

Clearly the jerk thought so, because he answered, “Oh, like, four-something. You want me to go grab you one? I’d be happy to.”

“And what did you pay with?” Cisco asked.

The guy looked over at him, frowning. “What does that matter?”

“Just doing a poll,” he said, scrabbling for a believable story. “On how many small vendors accept credit card.”

Ice Cream Guy looked skeptical. The chocolate cone began dribbling down over his knuckles.

“It’s for CCPN,” Cisco added, because hanging out with Iris had taught him there was some magic in the vague promise that you’d see yourself in the news.

“I paid cash.”

“What denomination of bill?” Caitlin asked.

He frowned. She leaned back, stretching out her bare legs, crossing them at the ankle and wiggling her toes with their gold toenail polish.

Cisco resisted the temptation to grab her cover-up and throw it over her, because they were her long, sleek legs and her cutely polished toes and she could show them off if she wanted to. Also, the frown was easing off Ice Cream Guy’s face.

“A five,” he said. “I remember because I didn’t think I had any fives in my wallet.”

She looked over her shoulder at Cisco. “Thanks so much,” she said. “You’ve been so helpful.”

“Bye,” Cisco added, because Ice Cream Guy showed signs of lingering, maybe asking for Caitlin’s number or something. And that was happening over his dead body.

He reconsidered. Not dead. He’d done that, 0/10, would not recommend. Maybe his extremely unconscious body. It wasn’t happening, was his point.

Because they had a meta to catch. Yeah. They didn’t have time to waste on some horny fool lusting after Caitlin.

Good reminder.

“What do you think?” Caitlin asked him in an undertone as Ice Cream Guy departed, shoulders sagging, ice cream melting faster than ever. “Could that be where people’s money is disappearing to?”

They’d thought it was a pickpocket, but after seeing that - “Leprechaun gold,” he said.

She gave him one of her patented Caitlin Looks. “Leprechauns?”

“No,” he said. “Leprechaun gold. Oh come on! I know you read Goblet of Fire.”

“The money’s not dissolving,” she pointed out.

“Right, but he is deceiving them. Making them think they’re giving him a way smaller bill than they really are.”

She scrunched up her face in thought. “Do you have any big bills in your wallet?”

“Got a twenty.”

“That’ll do. I think I want some ice cream.” She got up, dusting sand off her butt. Her cute round butt, barely covered by that damn bikini, and the sand stuck to her skin like a dusting of sugar …

“Cisco?”

“Huh?”

She gazed down at him, straightening her sun hat and shrugging into her cover-up. “Are you coming?”

“Yep,” he said, scrambling to his feet. “Yep, right there with you.” Right, they had a job to do, which didn’t include drooling over one of his best friends.

Iris looked up as they breached into Star Labs. “Hey, guys, good work.” Cisco had texted her from the beach while Caitlin was turning the Illusionist - “no, Cisco, we’re not calling him the Leprechaun, pick something else!” - over to the police.

“Thanks,” Cisco said. “Guy had made an easy thousand dollars or so this weekend already, screwing with people’s perception of the bills they were giving him. It was hard to catch him because he switched up what he was selling.”

Iris nodded. “People generally don’t remember the person selling them something, just what they bought. Sorry your beach day was interrupted, though.”

“Eh,” Cisco said. “Too hot anyway. I’m going to go get something cold. Real cold.” He headed off, his flip-flops thwacking against the tile floor, leaving Caitlin and Iris in the cortex.

Iris asked Caitlin, “You said you got video?”

“All on here.” Caitlin passed her phone over, and Iris hooked it up.

She glanced over her shoulder as the video started uploading, and asked in a lower voice, “And how did the bikini work out?”

Caitlin scowled. “Less well. I don’t think he even noticed I was wearing it. And not in the I’m thinking about you naked way. More like the you’re a piece of furniture way. He gave the damn umbrella more attention.“

"What, really? Did you try the sunscreen trick?”

“Yes! And I flirted with someone else, right in front of him. See, right there!”

Iris watched Caitlin-on-the-screen cock her head and smile at the man with the three ice cream cones. “That didn’t work?”

“He just kept asking questions about the case. I think I screwed up when I mentioned intestinal parasites.”

Iris hummed. “On the one hand, that’s generally not regarded as sexy. On the other hand, if he was going to be put off by disgusting medical facts, he wouldn’t be your friend.”

“I want him to be more than my friend, though.”

Iris patted her shoulder, one eye on the video. “I know.”

“Maybe it’s time I faced it,” Caitlin said sadly, plopping down at the desk and resting her chin in one hand. “We’ve just been friends for too long. He’s never going to see me in any light other than platonic.”

On the screen, Caitlin got up and went striding toward the ice cream vendor. Cisco was so busy staring at her that he tripped over the umbrella on his way to follow.

Iris raised a brow. “Are you sure about that?”

FINIS

#Caitlin Snow #Cisco Ramon #killervibe #fanfiction #mosylufanfic lives up to her damn name #summer fluff #poor Cisco #way too good at pretending not to be interested #the flash #vvsignofthecross

[imsohealthy1]

Pressure Cooker Vegetarian Sweet Potato and Quinoa Enchilada Chili

Make this vegetarian chili within the strain cooker for a fast and straightforward one pot meal that’s meal prep pleasant, gluten-free, and filled with vitamins, protein, and taste! The key ingredient? Enchilada sauce! 

Pressure Cooker Vegetarian Sweet Potato and Quinoa Enchilada Chili

I really like an excellent chili, particularly now, when temps are dropping and you need to get all cozy. Nevertheless, the autumn is normally busier than ever with all life’s commitments and the very last thing I need to do is stand over the stovetop or have to watch a sizzling pot on the range.

That’s why I really like the strain cooker! Set it and overlook it! Effectively… don’t overlook it, however you don’t must do the rest, apart from set the timer! I really like the strain cooker for chilis and I’m enthusiastic about this chili, as a result of it’s a little bit totally different than your typical chili. You received’t miss the meat right here on this vegetarian model and there’s a secret ingredient: enchilada sauce, as a substitute of tomatoes!

Chili is usually made with tomatoes and tomato sauce, however as a substitute, we have now enchilada sauce, which provides this chili a little bit Mexican flare and I feel, a little bit extra strong of a taste.

I like to serve this with lime wedges, tortilla chips or strips for some crunch, and an excellent glob of guacamole on prime – or on the facet! It’s meal prep pleasant and will make your entire residence style scrumptious. Make a batch, pop it within the fridge or freezer and feed these hungry mouths!

Recipe

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Serves 6

Vegetarian Sweet Potato and Quinoa Enchilada Chili

15 minPrep Time

20 minCook dinner Time

35 minComplete Time

Save Recipe

Print Recipe

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Elements

1 tablespoon additional virgin olive oil

Three garlic cloves, minced

1 small onion, diced

2 medium candy potatoes, cubed

2 crimson bell peppers, diced

1 tablespoon chili powder

1 teaspoon dried oregano

1 teaspoon floor cumin

salt and pepper

four cups low sodium vegetable broth

1 cup raw quinoa

15ouncesjar enchilada sauce (I really like Siete manufacturers)

1 (15oz) can black beans, rinsed and drained

1 cup frozen corn

to serve: lime wedges, avocado, cilantro, tortilla crisps

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Directions

Set the strain cooker to Saute operate. As soon as water flicked into the pot sizzles, add the oil, garlic, onion, candy potato, bell pepper, and prepare dinner for 2-Three minutes. Add the chili powder, oregano, cumin, salt and pepper and stir properly, letting prepare dinner 1 minute or till aromatic.

Add the vegetable broth, instantly scraping the underside of the pan to scrape up any brown bits. Add the quinoa and enchilada sauce. Cowl and seal the strain cooker. Cook dinner on Excessive strain for Eight minutes. After Eight minutes, manually launch the strain, flip the strain cooker to Off, and stir within the beans and corn. Cowl the strain cooker and let stand for 5-10 minutes. Uncover, style, and modify with extra salt if wanted.

Divide into bowls and serve with lime wedges, avocado, cilantro, and tortilla crisps.

7.8.1.2

1435

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Inspiralized LLC

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The submit Pressure Cooker Vegetarian Sweet Potato and Quinoa Enchilada Chili appeared first on Inspiralized.

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Healthy Meal Plans For The Week

#Healthy Meal Plans For The Week

[tvmecaps]

1. god I can’t believe I’m watching this again 2. WHY ARE THE EPISODES SO LONG 3. IT’S ARIE WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN

4. “how’s everyone feeling today?” “i’m emotionally and physically drained” this is me every morning

5. if i had to go on a group date with krystal i would absolutely find a way to accidentally punch her in the throat 6. i like tia she just runs around making noises 7. the fuck is a glob 8. THE KISSING BANDIT god i hate this man 9. if someone surprised me with a wrestling date i’d kill myself 10. OMG IS ALISON BRIE HERE 11. the fuck it’s not even alison brie 12. oh they’re like the real wrestlers lmao 13. i have no idea what bekah's personality is

14. wrestler lady: “who wants it?” tia: *raises her hand but only like, a little bit*

15. arie was talking and my mom said from across the room “what are you watching it’s putting me to sleep” 16. lauren b is just standing in the corner laughing i’m dying 17. oh my god she’s just… insulted bibiana’s name? 18. WHAT IS HAPPENING

19. wrestler lady: “I could take you down right now!” tia: “i would let you”

20. bekah’s gonna beat the shit out of them 21. the girls are literally crying 22. IMAGINE GOING ON A DATE WHERE THE ENTIRE PREMISE WAS THAT YOU WERE GOING TO GET BULLIED 23. i really wish alison brie was here 24. shut the fuck up bekah go call your mom 25. “has anyone even watched WWE?” literally no 26. i love tia 27. tia winning would be justice for raven 28. BIBIANA IN A DINOSAUR MASK 29. i want chris harrison to beat the shit out of arie 30. i don’t even remember who kenny is

31. bring back peter

32. who is the lunch lady 33. imagine having to pretend to fall in love with arie 34. oh my god what is HAPPENING 35. imagine losing to krystal 36. LMAO KRYSTAL IS LITERALLY BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF THIS GIRL 37. is this… porn 38. i think this is porn 39. aw i love tia and bibiana 40. every time arie speaks i want to fast forward

41. i’m trying to snapchat arie and krystal but i can’t get a clear enough shot of their faces because all they’re doing is kissing really grossly 42. oh my god 43. snapchat makes this show so much better

44. “he’s fucking awesome” yeah ok tia 45. WHY DOES ARIE JUST KISS EVERYONE 46. “i have a feeling i’ll be on that one on one date because he knows i’m a mom” god in all my krystal hatred i forgot how awful chelsea was 47. i cannot tell any of the laurens apart

48. “and i just feel like these girls are living in a false reality” oh my god she’s CLINICAL

49. HAHAHAH HE GAVE IT TO BEKAH 50. SUCK A DICK, KRYSTAL 51. she’s just SMILING THROUGH THE PAIN 52. LIKE THE PSYCHOPATH SHE IS

53. is krystal literally just going around the house talking to the other girls about how strong her connection with arie is…

54. “this is a very Lauren S. date” - lauren S

55. “i like to go to bed early” of course you do arie you’re like 60

56. hulu isn’t working and i feel like this is a message from god 57. ugh no it’s back

58. “i feel like you’re a little bit of a wine connoisseur.” “no i just like drinking wine.” the most relatable arie has ever been

59. SHE’S JUST RAMBLING 60. SHE’S BEEN RAMBLING FOR PROBABLY AN HOUR 61. SHE JUST KEEPS TALKING 62. LAUREN S PLEASE STOP TALKING 63. she’s literally talking so much that arie is actually eating

64. “how is ‘ruff’ spelled?” “r-u-f-f” *everyone SCREAMS*

65. THERE IS A TRAUMATIC SITUATION FOR EVERY EVENT ON THIS SHOW

66. he’s NOT GIVING HER THE ROSE 67. I’M SO UNCOMFORTABLE 68. THIS IS THE WORST THING I’VE EVER SEEN 69. god that was awful 70. ugh i liked her 71. or at least like… i didn’t hate her 72. why is krystal talking about her like she died 73. dear god SHUT!!!!! UP!!!!!!!

74. “stop being so condescending to everybody because you like, met his dog.” CAROLINE FOR PRESIDENT

75. how is it only 9:00 i feel like I’ve been watching this episode for six years 76. tag yourself i’m the blonde bitch jumping up and down when arie even vaguely alludes to a dog 77. when does unReal come back 78. THESE DOGS ARE SO TALENTED 79. my dog can’t even walk without falling down

80. LMAO WAIT IS ANNALIESE 81. IS SHE THE ONE WITH THE BUMPER CAR ISSUES TOO 82. who PUT THESE FLASHBACKS TOGETHER 83. “AND I ALMOST LOST MY EYE,” SHE SAYS AS A CRYING BABY SCREAMS IN SEPIA

84. bibiana signs off from her prayer with “love you bye!!”

85. “we have just a random girl who’s walked up as well” same 86. i would just hold my dog and pet him 87. why is annalise so enthusiastic about poop 88. she’s really owning it though 89. how are there still so many girls left i only know like six of them 90. omg I can’t wait for chelsea to go home 91. her poor child is going to have to watch this someday

92. “dogs are so cute” wow arie is full of gold tonight 93. “i have never had the opportunity for someone to respect me for who i am” ok chelsea 94. i wonder what arie is thinking about at any given time 95. “the last time you said you were in love was five years ago on this show. tell me more about that.” do you really think that’s the best topic of conversation here

96. i wonder if arie is stoned or if he just naturally looks like that

97. omg annalise stop complaining and just go talk to him 98. ten years from now someone’s gonna say the word bachelor and she’s gonna have flashbacks to THIS traumatic moment 99. HE JUST KEEPS KISSING PEOPLE 100. it’s never a good sign when the dude says “so how do you think things are going” 101. he’s so not into her 102. that was painful 103. poor annaliese 104. she deadass got her coat on LMAO

105. HE CAN’T HOLD A CONVERSATION AND JUST SLOWLY MOVES HIS FACE CLOSER TO THE OTHER GIRL THE ENTIRE TIME UNTIL THEY STOP TALKING TO KISS

106. THIS IS THE WORST I HATE HIM!!!!!!

107. “today was really fun. i loved today. today was such a cool day. it was amazing.” - literally a sentence that arie just said

108. maybe he is super stoned 109. how dare they show me a black panther commercial and then make me go back to watching the bachelor 110. who does bekah look like 111. she looks like someone

112. BIBIANA SET THE ENTIRE THING UP AND HE JUST TOOK THIS BLONDE BITCH OUT HERE 113. I’M SCREAMING 114. LMAO WHAT THE FUCK 115. WHO MANIPULATED THIS SITUATION INTO EXISTENCE 116. WHERE IS QUINN KING!!!!! 117. SHE’S GOING TO SEE THEM KISSING BECAUSE WHAT ELSE DOES ARIE DO 118. “he’s with lauren b on my setup” i would literally cry 119. THE DEVIL IS WROKING OT 120. HE’S TAKING EVERY FUCKING GIRL TO IT 121. I’M SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!!! 122. THIS MAN IS SUCH TRASH LMAO!!!!!!

123. EVERY SINGLE TIME HE TAKES A NEW GIRL OUT THERE HE’S LIKE LMAO I DON’T KNOW WHO SET THIS UP BUT ISN’T IT NICE? LET’S KISS!!

124. AHH!!!!!!!! 125. annaliese is gonna force him to kiss her

126. he got tia HAY BALES AND MOONSHINE 127. I’M SCREAMING WHAT HTE FUCK IS THIS SHOW 128. SHE’S TALKING AND HE’S JUST 129. SLOWLY MOVING HIS FACE TO HER 130. MOUTH OPEN

131. i hope they checked him for herpes

132. the bitch smiling because annaliese hasn’t kissed him 133. he’s going to send annaliese home right now isn’t he 134. this is so uncomfortable because she’s like BEGGING him to kiss her 135. i’ve never seen arie REFUSE to kiss someone 136. this is awful 137. he said no and i gasped 138. that was literally the most dramatic thing that’s happened this entire season 139. this is so dumb

140. you know annaliese and bibiana are going home because he deadass has sought out EVERY OTHER GIRL TONIGHT to stick his tongue down their throats one last time

141. arie is definitely lowkey racist 142. why does he make jokes that 11 year old boys would make 143. if i never see arie kiss another human it will be too soon 144. aw bye annaliese 145. “bye ladies,” she says, crying 146. WHO SAID SHE’S KIDDING 147. “i don’t know what this man is thinking” but literally everyone watching does 148. god shut up krystal

149. “i feel really confident, but also i don’t have a rose,” she says, BEFORE THE ROSE CEREMONY

150. “i had to make one hard decision” arie you’ve sent two girls home 151. the camera zoomed in on krystal when he saw the word wife dear god 152. OH HER NAME IS KENDALL? I like her 153. why did only one girl walk up when he said lauren 154. there are like at least four laurens left 155. bye bib 156. LMAO WAIT DOES HE EVEN KNOW SHE SET UP THE DAY BED 157. he definitely doesn’t 158. thank god this is over 159. THEY’RE TLAKING ABOUT HER DOG FEARS AGAIN 160. oh my god

#the bachelor #bachelor s22

[thesunglassesgamer]

There For You - Chapter 1

Kelly is my favorite character in the series. It’d be a shame if she didn’t get the love the rest of the characters did. And since it’s unlikely that she’ll be a large part of the show, though I’d love it, I figured that the only way for her to get more attention was through a short story. That being said, this is part one. I definitely have a better idea of what’s going to happen next versus the other fic. I’ll work on both fics every other weekend from here on. Please like, share and comment, and thank you for reading.

“Glob Glor?”

“No, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Glob Glor.”

“That’s not true. I’m fine. Star’s my friend first, my… anything else second to that.”

“Glob Glor?”

“That’s not-“ Marco let out a groan of frustration and let his head fall back to stare at the ceiling. It had been three hours since Star had left to go on her date with Tom, leaving Marco to look after Glossaryck. After the incident at the Monster Bash, she was trying to unwind from her princess duties and get some perspective and some much needed R&R. With Tom. Marco, her loyal, dutiful, understanding squire had stayed behind to make sure Glossaryck didn’t burn the castle down. He remembered her saying in passing as she left, “Don’t worry, we’ll only be an hour or so, nothing big.” Three hours later, Marco was still looking after Glossaryck, cleaning up after his messes, pulling with all his might to keep him from running away to who-knows-where, trying to feed him, and Star was still on her date.

With Tom.

Marco clenched his teeth and flexed his fingers. He shouldn’t be so jealous, he reasoned. After all, Star had already confessed her love to him a few months ago and he’d turned her down. She was dating Tom now, and seemed to really like him again. Tom, for his part, and despite everything that had happened at the party, had grown a lot in the last couple of months. They were a good couple, and both deserved to be happy. They were also his friends, and he should want the best for them. It was unfair for him to hate Tom, to want to punch his stupid, ugly, pretentious, wity-

Marco shook his head and looked up. He wished he hadn’t. To his dismay, Glossaryck had thrown up again, leaving a pile of smoldering, gelatinous rainbows and glitter on his bed. For the fourth time that night, to boot.

“Oh come on!” Marco whined, shoulders drooping in despair. Glossaryck looked at him with a vacant expression before scratching his ears and bounding off to some other part of the room. Marco scowled and muttered something dark and bitter under his breath before getting out his cleaning supplies. As he started to scrub the magical bile off of the floor, he tried to keep his eyes on Glossaryck to make sure he didn’t run off somewhere. He didn’t, thankfully; He just kept staring at Marco with his big round eyes. They reminded Marco of a dog. “A particularly dumb dog,” Marco muttered, eyes squinting at the troublemaker. Glossaryck continued his stare, unaffected by the slight. After the mess was done, Marco let himself fall back into his chair and glared at Glossaryck.

“Glob Glor?”

“No, Glossaryck, I’m not going to tell her. She’s too busy right now. Maybe later.” Marco’s voice sounded less than convincing, even to himself.

Glossaryck pursed his lips together, eyes furrowed, body hunched up and tense. Marco rolled his eyes and gave him a frustrated, weary look.

“I can’t tell her, Glossaryck. She’s my friend. It’ll make things… weird. And complicated. Especially since she’s busy putting the kingdom back together and trying to deal with the racism against monsters and crap in her family and Tom and- yeah. It’s too much. Me randomly confessing my crush for her would be the straw that breaks the camels back.” Pride filled his voice, giving him more of a backbone than he usually had. “She’s my friend, and I’m her squire. I won’t do that to her, no matter how much it sucks for me.”

Glossaryck’s stare continued, but Marco didn’t let up. They kept at it for a solid ten seconds before the little blue creature sighed. Marco smirked. He hadn’t won many victories in the past couple of weeks… months, really, and it felt good to succeed at anything. He felt absurdly good about himself and relaxed in his chair, a cocky smile breaking out across his face.

Then Glossaryck’s eyes went wide. He shouted “Glob Glor!” and jumped into Marco’s pocket. Marco, who hadn’t been prepared for the attack, fell back in his chair, causing the chair to fall into the ground. Marco’s head rapped against the ground and stars swirled in his head. It took a second for him to collect himself and whine softly, “Damnit, Glossaryck.” The little blue man wriggled and jiggled inside Marco’s pocket, clearly looking for something. Marco grabbed him by his gross, hairy legs, repressed a puke of his own, and yanked the little nuisance out of his pocket. He stared daggers at Glossaryck, ready to snarl something nasty at him, until he saw what was in his hands. Glossaryck had Marco’s phone in his hands, and it was ringing. Kelly’s number appeared on the front alongside her face. He took the phone out of Glossaryck’s hand and took the call.

“Kelly?”

“Marco!” Kelly’s voice came out sharp and tense. “I need your help.”

Marco’s back straightened. He got up off the chair and started scrambling around his room, looking for his dimensional scissors. He pressed the phone up against his ear with his shoulder, asking “What’s up?”

There was a moment of silence before Kelly replied, “It’s… complicated. I can’t get a hold of anyone else. I’m at the remains of the bounce lounge. I don’t have a lot of time, just- please.”

Marco frowned down at his phone. Kelly had sounded scared, yes, but she had also sounded… guilty? Embarrassed? He shook his head. He could sort out what issue she was in whence he got there. Besides, she was his friend. You don’t let friends down.

“Be there in a second,” he said, rummaging through his drawer until his hands brushed up against the cold metal of his dimensional scissors. In one motion, he drew the scissors out and ripped a portal between worlds in front of him.

He jumped through the magical portal into a dark, cold room that stank of sweat stains and half eaten food. There were no visible sources of light, though most of the room still seemed to be visible to Marco. What was once the Bounce Lounge now was only a loose collection of drink and food stained clouds, some leftover wrappers and photos, and a few tables, half of which were stacked in one corner of the depressing scene. Kelly’s head popped out from behind the tables, then zoomed back down. Her hand shot up and waved at him to come over. Marco jogged over and leaned over the tables to find Kelly balled up against the side of the improvised barricade. Her whole body was shaking, including her hands, which were both wrapped around a long knife.

“Kelly, wha-“ Marco started before he was pulled over the tables and landed on his belly next to Kelly. The landing knocked the air out of him and nearly cracked a rib. He let out a small sound. Kelly winced.

“Sorry, sorry.” Kelly’s apology was quick but genuine. Her shaking had forced her glasses to slide down her face and she pushed them back up her nose. “Keep quiet, I don’t know when he’ll be here.”

“Who?” Marco whispered, still on his stomach.

Kelly stopped shaking. She suddenly became very interested in the ground beneath her. She didn’t respond at first, but right before Marco could ask, she spit out “My landlord.”

Marco blinked. “You’re…”

“My landlord. Tad-“, the name seemed to taste bitter on her tongue, “-had helped with paying rent. A lot. I’ve been trying to keep up, but…” she trailed off and shrugged. “I’m three weeks past rent payment, and my landlord is... pretty intense.” She closed her eyes and leaned heavily back against the tables. “I’m sorry, Marco, this is gonna sound really lame, but- I- I need to borrow some cash.”

Marco stared at the distraught young woman for a long three-count before asking, dumbfounded, “You pay rent?”

Kelly’s eyes blinked open and she looked back at Marco with an equally awkward face. “Uh, yeah.”

Marco’s eyes squinted at her, as if trying to remember some formulae for a math problem. “But… isn’t your hair like a house of it’s own? Can’t you just… live in it?”

Kelly blinked again, still recovering from the sudden tonal change. She’d expected him to give her a disgusted look, berate her for abusing their friendship for money, and then ask why he should give her the money. She had expected there to be a long argument where she just might be able to get the money she needed to stay alive for the day, at the expense of a good friend. She had not expected him to act so calm and curious.

She shook her head. “I mean, yeah, I can kinda go in and out of my own hair, but I sort of need a place to keep myself while I’m in there, you know? Can’t just leave a pile of hair lying on the streets.”

Marco thought about it, then nodded. “Never thought about it like that. Makes sense, though.” His eyes furrowed in concentration and gave Kelly a concerned look. “Why didn’t you ask someone earlier? We would have helped you out.”

Kelly bit her lip and looked away, frustrated by the question. She knew who he was talking about: Tom, Star, Pony Head, Marco… her friends. Any one of them would have helped if she had asked (after all, Marco had just come to help), but that didn’t mean she wanted to ask for their help. The idea of asking one of her friends for money felt gross and vulgar to her. And besides…

“It’s Tad,” she said. Her voice was full of irritation, but it wasn’t directed at Marco. “This was part of me moving on from him: being able to pay for rent myself, to be able to live on my own. I wanted- no, I needed to prove to myself that I could live without him.” She sighed, bags showing underneath her eyes. Marco had never seen someone so exhausted, so worn and weary, tired to the bone. Not even Star with all her princess duties and family issues had seemed so distressed.

“Kelly,” Marco said in a reassuring voice. “Just because you’re living without Tad doesn’t mean you have to live without us.” He gave her a warm smile. “We’re your friends, Kelly. We’re here for you.”

Kelly stared at Marco for a long time before she smiled back. A tear started to fall from one of her eyes but she brushed it off. “You’re a good friend, Marco. A really good friend.”

Marco chuckled. “Sometimes,” he admitted. “Sometimes.” He got up and offered his hand to Kelly. “Come on, let’s find that landlord of yours and figure something out.”

Kelly took his hand and got up. Marco noticed how soft her hands were. Weird. Her body seemed to tense up by just a hair as she looked around, seemingly expecting someone to appear. “I doubt we’ll have to go looking for him,” Kelly noted cynically.

Marco blinked. Before he could ask Kelly why, however, a giant black portal opened in the sky. From it’s dark, endless void jumped a knight and his steed, both armor and equine black as the void from which they came. The knights sharp, menacing armor looked immaculate, save for the insidious brown stains it wore as testament to it’s use. In the knight’s right hand was held a shield, equally as black as the knight who held it, with an unrecognizable crest shaped into the metal. In his left, he had a double-sided battle axe. Twin points of red flame flickered from where the knight’s eyes should be. Marco could not see an inch of his skin, nor if he had any skin to begin with. The horse let out a puff of breath and nearly made both teenagers pass out. Marco gulped.

“Cool landlord,” he said. He tried to act tough and macho in front of the obvious threat, but it came out too thready and shaky to be convincing. Kelly nodded.

“Hey Bruce,” Kelly spoke to the knight, apparently Bruce, in a much more confident tone, although hers was also tainted with fear. “How’s tricks? Angela still doing fine?”

The black knight inclined his head to Kelly. “My tricks are functioning flawlessly. Angela, on the other hand, is sick at the moment. Common cold, I believe. She’s been in bed for the past three days. Seems to be getting better, but-“ He shrugged. “You know how she is. Damn immune system couldn’t keep out a virus if it was already half dead.”

Kelly suddenly became much more relaxed and sympathetic. Marco, however, kept tense and frightened. “Oh, Bruce. You really need to get her to a specialist to find out what’s wrong.”

Bruce’s flames grew dimmer. “I can’t pay for a specialist when young ladies I can usually rely on for rent money don’t pay their dues three weeks after their deadline.” His left hand gripped the axe a little tighter. Kelly’s face went pale. Marco saw it and snapped out of his haze of fear. His hand shot into his hoodie and, after a moment of shuffling around, came out with a large wad of cash.

“Will six-fifty cover it?”

Bruce looked down at the wad of crumpled bills, then at Marco. “I haven’t seen you around before,” he noted calmly.

Marco shrugged. After searching for it since the black knight had appeared, he had finally found his backbone. “I’m her friend. Just helping out, you know.”

Bruce stared down at him, then shrugged his shoulders. He took the cash, sorted it out to make sure it was the correct amount, then removed a ten dollar bill. “The rent is only six hundred and forty dollars.” He looked back down at Kelly. “I hope your job searches go better. Otherwise, I recommend that we terminate the lease soon. I won’t be able to wait this long next time.”

Marco had difficulty reading the knight, but Kelly got him. She gave him a small, sad smile and nodded. Bruce nodded to her, then a nod to Marco, and then his horse jumped ten vertical feet back into the portal, which subsequently closed. Marco and Kelly stood there, looking at the where the portal had been. Then Marco shivered.

“Damn,” he muttered, trying his best to stop himself from shivering. “That’s one hell of a landlord.”

“Nice guy, though,” Kelly commented. “His wife has some sort of immune system deficiency, and he works hard to keep her healthy and strong.”

“Really hard.”

Kelly snorted. “Yeah.”

Silence. Kelly turned to Marco, eyes not quite focusing on him. “Thanks for ever-“ Marco’s pointer finger was on her lips before she could realize it.

“Coffee.”

Kelly blinked. “What?”

“Coffee,” Marco repeated, voice a whole lot firmer than usual. It was the voice he reserved for helping out friends with their issues. “You and I are going to get coffee. And over coffee, we’re going to talk. Because-“ He looked her right in the eyes, unwavering, “ I think we need to talk.”

A protest started to rise up inside of Kelly, but it died off. Marco had just blown his whole month’s worth of savings on her. And he was her friend. “Ok.”

#star vs the forces of evil #star vs #marco #kelly #kellco but not really #I plan to continue more of this soon #in two weeks

[undertaleimaginationland]

How would the UF, UT, and US Skelebros react to their S/O crush kissing them then running away?

B-Oh heck yes!!! A classic. Thanks for the ask! I hope you don’t mind that I sort of turned these into mini drabbles.

Undertale

Sans-

woah woAH WOAH THERE!!!! I think you broke him.

Is this the real life, or is this just fantasy??? There’s no way you just-

You had decided to kiss him after he had told one too many flirty puns for your liking.

“you know what’s on the menu? me-n-u.”

“you must be from korea, cause you’re my seoul mate.”

“i like you a skele-ton.”

THAT’S QUITE ENOUGH!!!

You silence the babbling bonebag with a brief, but passionate kiss.

As you pull away with a big smirk on your face, he realizes that this is not one of those dreams. But as soon as he pieces this together, you’re already kicking it into hyper drive. 

you couldn’t have possibly meant that, right?? 

Though he’ll admit, he’s curious as to what your motives were. So he eventually shortcuts in front of you. 

“h-heya kiddo. you left me awfully bonely back there.” You realized that there was nowhere to run and start to blush. 

Oh deary, what now?

He scratches the back of his skull and seems to be awfully nervous. “uh…i-i um, j-just realized that you forgot something.” Why is he looking away?

You tilt your head. “I… forgot someth-”

“this” He gently but firmly pulls you in for a swift kiss, making sure to not hurt you. His arms are wrapped around your waist and once he releases, the feeling of you lingers on his fingertips. Sans’ skull is glowing a fluorescent blue and he refuses to meet your gaze, leaving a moment of silence between you two. 

Its your choice on how you react.

Paps-

You had caught him off guard while he was excitedly teaching you the techniques of stirring pasta. You giggle as you notice a glob of spaghetti stained on the corner of his jaw.

“AND THAT IS THE PRECISE WRIST MOVEMENT YOU MAKE WHEN YOU… Y/N?” He stares at you, befuddledly.

You answer with a small ‘hm’, still looking at him with a silly smirk. 

“WHY ARE YOU, ERM, STARING AT ME LIKE THAT?” Papyrus blinked, briefly pausing his aggressive stirring.

You figured this was your chance and went for it. Pulling his skull to your face, you let no space in between as you quickly kissed the sauce away. Thank goodness Pap settled with the store bought sauce, otherwise this would’ve played out in a less than pleasant matter.

“N-NYEH?” You pulled away and couldn’t help but relish in that paralyzed expression he held. Never have you seen a skeleton glow, but boy was this rewarding. Realizing that you oh-so-suddenly had places to be, you hop down from your step-stool and dart for the door.

Before you could even turn the door handle, you’re tackled to the ground. You startle as Papyrus sits himself on your lap and plants his hands to the sides of your head. 

You blush and stutter out, “w-what are y-y-you-”

“DATE ME, PLEASE!”

What?

“W-what?” You feel your whole body heating up.

“I PROMISE TO SHOWER YOU WITH ALL THE KISSES YOU DESIRE AND MAKE YOU A LIFETIME’S WORTH OF PASTA- JUST PLEASE DATE ME, Y/N!!” His voice is trembling and holds a bit of desperation.

Please say yes.

Underfell

Red-

You were just trying to buy some groceries when a group of LV-d up monsters decided to jump you. In all honesty, you were no match for them.

“C’mon bitch. Hand over the money!” The largest of the monsters growled.

You shuddered at the monster’s assertiveness and backed away. Red had sent you to buy some groceries and there was no way in hell you’d hand over HIS money. He’d have your head if you did. “N-no!” 

Well that was less than intimidating.

You yelp as another monster shoves you to the wall, leaving you no room to escape. “Well then, guess we’ll have to teach you a lesson then, huh?”

Welp, this was it. You covered your face and braced for any oncoming blows.

Suddenly, with a clap and wisp of magic, all you hear is screaming. Your gaze pops up instinctively and you gasp. 

Red’s eyes are a-glowing and his hands are shrouded with even more red. Despite his intimidating stance, he looks at you with a a hint of empathy. “you…” He drags out.

He is suddenly standing in front of you, his hands grabbing from your forearm to your ankles. If you weren’t in such a public place, you would think he was a doctor giving you a full body examination. You were too shocked from the previous events to do anything about it.

He then starts to bombard you with questions along the lines of ‘are you okay?!’ ‘does this hurt!?’ ‘what were you thinking?!’ and ‘i’m gonna beat their asses!!’.

He was always like this, saving you from whatever dangers the cruel world brought. Like that one time he caught you just as you were about to trip up the stairs, or that other time he wrapped your burned hand after an unpleasant encounter at Chillby’s, and another time that he defended you from one of his brother’s attacks.

Yeah…you’re kind of in his debt. Nonetheless, when you looked down at him prodding worriedly at your thigh, you thought he looked extra kissable.

“S-Sans?” You felt your cheeks heat up at what you were about to do.

Red quickly stands up to your attention, almost bonking your head as he jumped. “yeah sweetheart?”

“Sorry.” Before he had time to react, you planted a kiss smack dab in the center of his teeth. You knew that he wasn’t very fond of PDA, so you pulled away quickly.

Red looks absolutely dumbfounded, his cheeks a vibrant red and were his hands trembling?? “w-wha-”

“Here!!” You panicked, shoving the groceries into his chest and you started to run. Though you were no track star, you sure as hell were going to try.

And as expected, Red grabs your wrist like some crazy ninja and twirls you to his side. The world suddenly goes wobbly and you’re thrown onto the couch. He towers over you with a weary gaze.

“didya’ really mean that?!” He was trying really hard to hide the desperation in his attitude.

~Your choice, once again~

Edge-

You stood by Edge’s squatted side as he measured out his next puzzle to absolute perfection. He seemed to be extra edgy these last few day and you weren’t exactly sure why. The strain around his eye sockets were becoming more prominent with every coming day and he was getting a whole lot more irritable.

“Edge?” You gently patted his skull. “You alright?”

He jolted at your sudden touch and swatted your hand away. “I’M MORE THAN ALRIGHT, PET. I-I JUST NEED…”

You leaned in, anticipating an answer to your persistent questions.

Looking into your marveled eyes, Edge stiffened, a pink tint crossing his cheekbones. “I-I-I JUST N-NEED THAT…RULER RIGHT THERE! YES YES YES, THAT’S ALL! N-NOTHING ELSE!” He quickly looked away, holding out his hand for the requested object.

You sighed. You knew he was lying. “Okay.”

He huffed relievedly, returning quickly to his work.

The ruler sat next to you and you bent down to pick it up. Why was he being so secretive? You swear, he’s becoming just like his brother.

Twirling around to place the ruler in Edge’s still outstretched hand, you hesitate. An idea suddenly pinged in your mind, making you blush.

Edge, though he was looking away, seemed to be irritated at your hesitance. “HUMAN! THE RULER. NOW!”

Its now or never.

Swiftly grabbing his hand, he visibly twitched in your touch. “WHAT THE-”

You quickly silenced the boisterous skeleton with a kiss, sliding your other hand around his neck. As shocked as he was, Edge made no attempt at pulling away, in fact, he pushed himself further into you.

O-OKAY THAT WAS ENOUGH. He might kill you soon anyways, so you should get going now.

Pulling away, Edge is completely scarlet-faced, his jaw now hanging agape. “H-HUMAN I-”

You quickly zoomed out of there. OML, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, YOU EGG?! YOU JUST KISSED THE MOST POWERFUL BEING IN THE UNDERGROUND!!!!

Speaking of the most powerful, a cage of bones suddenly surround you and there’s nowhere left to go.

You whimper as Edge now looms over you with a menacing gaze, though his cheeks are still glowing. Oh stars, what now?

He hoists you by the arm and boy, that’s probably going to leave a bruise. Now eye-level with the skeleton, your faces are only centimeters away. Closing your eyes and bracing for impact, you startle as something bumps your forehead softly.

“PAYBACK,” was all he said as he dropped you and walked away, still blushing like a maniac.

Underswap

Blueberry-

“SPAR WITH ME, Y/N!!” Blueberry demanded, still bouncing from side-to-side. This guy had loads of energy to burn, didn’t he?

If you chose to spar with him once more, it would be your 9th round losing to him. You waved off his offer and laid down in the snow. “Nah Blue, I’m good.”

“OH COME ON, Y/N! WE WERE JUST GETTING STARTED.” Blueberry whined, setting his wooden sword in his holster. The more he looked at your tired physique though, the more sympathy he had. “YOU OKAY? I DID’NT HURT YOU TOO MUCH, DID I?”

You patted the spot next to you and he eagerly sat beside you. He ran a phalange against your bruised skin, tracing loving circles around your mark. “I-I’M SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO SORRYYYYY!” He whimpered, burying his face in your chest. His arms wrapped around you and he had no plans of letting go.

“Whoa whoa, hey Blue! I’m fine, really! I just…it’s just a bruise, ya know?” You patted his back awkwardly, but reassuringly, at least trying to make an effort at reassuring your health.

“R-REALLY?” Oh no, was he crying? He wipes his sockets clean. “YOU MEAN IT?” He looked up at you with starry eyes that were impossible to say no to.

You smiled. “Of course, Blue. It’ll take a lot more than that to bring me down.” You said with a wink.

Blueberry embraced you even tighter. “MWEHHEHEH! I’M GLAD TO HEAR THAT!” As he nuzzled into your neck, you take the chance to give him a little peck on the forehead.

“MWEH!?” The cuddling session stops oh-so-suddenly. “Y-Y-Y/N?”

The moment he lets go, you take the chance to run.

oh.

My.

STARS.

DID YOU SEE THE LOOK ON THAT CUTIE’S LITTLE FACE? OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!

Rounding a corner, you suddenly slip on a patch of ice and slide into a net trap. What in tarnation was that even doing there?

Feeling all crumbled up in the rope catastrophe, you start to panic even more when Blueberry strides up to you. Oh no, what have you gotten yourself into?

Blueberry is fiddling with his fingers. “H-HUMAN, I-I FEEL THE SAME WAY.” From a pocket in his bandanna, he pulls out a crumpled note. “I WAS G-GOING TO GIVE THIS TO YOU AFTERWARDS, B-BUT…MWEH, TAKE IT!!”

He storms off, leaving you with a mystery note.

Huh, how curious…

You open the letter and begin to read it:

“SNOW IS WHITE

PAPY WEARS A HOOD

I REALLY LIKE YOU

YOU ALSO FIGHT GOOD.”

You start to giggle and a blush spreads across your cheeks.

“…”

Now to get down from this trap.

Stretch-

“I’m not going to ask you again. Give. It. Back.”

Stretch scratched his chin in thought. “hm…nah. i don’t feel like it.”

You grumbled a few choice words, moping as Stretch dangled your phone just out of your reach. For being such a chill guy, he sure was a tall buttwipe.

“Stretch! I’m serious, give it back!” You whined, hopping again and again for your phone.

Stretch simply smirked. “hi serious, i’m stretch.”

“Ugh! You’re impossible.” You waved your hands up in exasperation.

“by impossible, do you mean impossibly good looking? cause if so, you’re totally right.” Stretch winked, smoothing back his non-existent hair.

A laugh absentmindedly came out of you and you punched Stretch playfully. “You dork.” You giggled. “Give me my phone back.”

“hey! i’m not a dork! i’m a super fly sexy guy, ya know?” He saluted you with a wink.

You rolled your eyes and smiled. “alright then, super fly sexy guy. can this hot royale sexy gal here have her phone back then?” You asked with a shimmy.

Stretch brightened at your new nickname for the both of you and flushed a light orange. “well…when you put it like that…” He looked down at you, quizzically scanning you up and down.

“nope.” You deflated at his answer.

“Oh come on! That had to have worked!” You spring up to grab your phone, but miss.

Stretch chuckles. “fat chance, shorty.”

shorty…

SHORTY???!!!

OH, HE’S REALLY CROSSED THE LINE NOW!

“Short, huh?” You crossed your arms sassily. “You’re pushin’ it, Stretch.”

Stretch rolled his eye sockets.”oh, i’m sooo scared, honeybun. what’re you gonna do, nibble on my leg?”

You cocked a brow and smiled confidently. “I had something else in mind.” And with that, you pull him by the collar and kiss him.

He freezes up, his cheekbones flushing a bright orange, but nonetheless, he accepts the kiss anyways. He tastes like honey and charred barbecue. Just as he molds into your embrace, you pull away, holding your phone confidently in your hand.

“Say cheese, honeybun~” You cooed as you snapped a quick pick of him before attempting to run away.

He stares at you in a daze, but then quickly realized that you just STOLE a kiss from him. Just as you were about to lock yourself in your room, a foot stops in the way of the closing door.

He stares at you with a half-lidded expression through the door crack. “that little stunt you pulled back there was quite adoorable, honeybee.” His cheeks are still very flushed as he pushes open the door, making you fall effortlessly onto the bed. “think you could handle another taste?”

HO BOY, I’M GONNA STOP RIGHT THERE.

#sans #papyrus #ut sans #ut papyrus #uf sans #uf papyrus #us sans #us papyrus #ask #headcanon #undertale #underfell #underswap