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#flip that dialogue
curator-on-ao3 · 1 year
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You're taking prompts? Ooh, I'd absolutely love something with Tom & B'Elanna. “ why does it always have to be a fight with you? ” [I'm thinking during "Drive" but really any time is good]
I’m glad any time is good, @marymoss1971, because I’m not sure if this is what you had in mind, but …
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Targ if by Sea
Miral’s toddler hands are like tiny starfish — grasping, reaching for the stuffed animal Tom holds.
B’Elanna grins.
“Why does she always choose mine?” Tom tries to keep the whine out of his voice, not wanting to act like a baby around their … baby. “It’s not a fair fight.”
There’s a chuckle from B’Elanna, the affectionate kind, the kind where she would have called him a flyboy back on Voyager. “Why does it always have to be a fight with you? Why not just admit she prefers yours to mine?”
And B’Elanna turns, places Toby the Targ on a high shelf — out of reach for tiny starfish — as Tom hands over Sally the Seahorse, proof of his latest loss after he and B’Elanna have each offered Miral one of their own childhood toys.
“It’s not always a fight.” Tom winces as Miral’s teeth meet Sally the Seahorse’s dorsal fin. “But next time I’m going to win.”
———
Send me an ask with character(s) and a prompt and I’ll do my best to give you a shiny, new toy for your fanfic collection. ❤️
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dykebeckett · 3 months
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dragonanon · 1 year
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One of the many reasons Bugsnax is amazing is because a line of dialogue from the game is “You don’t know a thing about love! That’s why your wife left you!”. And it’s yelled by a pink little soft boy in a sweater and a knitted strawberry hat, to a large blue farmer man with a cowboy hat and an underbite. And the farmer deadass responds with “I’m gonna do violence to ya.”
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ann-chovi · 5 months
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Been feeling a bit down about my lowered energy levels and how I don't feel like my art is coming as easily as it did a year and a half ago
but like
I just found sketches and things that I was PROUD of from that time and... I know I could do so much better now???? Like- here brain, here's proof that you haven't gotten worse over time- you've improved. Yeah it's a little slower going now but... that's okay???
Like:
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Compared to:
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ANYWAY. BRAINS ARE DUMB. AND SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO LOOK AT OLD THINGS TO FEEL OKAY ABOUT WHERE YOU'RE AT.
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cyrsed · 1 year
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i can't leave well enough alone, and i realized i could make this into a comic panel if i added one of isaac's logs, so i made a new version with the text from the “get to safety” log 0:B
prev version wips
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The Flip Side Part 5
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x reader
Word count: ~9k
Summary: Your motivation to continue working as a mobster in Chicago is dwindling after the birth of your daughter.
A/N: India is growing on me a little. The food is great and I've seen a bunch of animals already... Now if only I could sleep and car rides weren't so wild... this chapter gets a little more angsty and exciting! Enjoy.
Warnings: vaguely suggestive content, angst, panic attacks, fluff, references to murder
It’s over an hour later before you and Wanda leave the bedroom. After making your wife come twice more in the shower, you both get dressed and check on your children. Natalya is still asleep surprisingly so you leave her for a few minutes while you go check on the dogs and Wanda goes to get a bottle ready. You’re quiet as you walk into the main room for the dogs. It’s still a little early, and the younger ones don’t like to be startled. You smile as you walk into the room and see that the three are already up and waiting to be let out. They have access to the roof from here, but they can’t get to the rest of the house unless this door is opened. 
As soon as it’s opened wide enough, Milo, Rudy, and Sully all run out to see what’s going on in the other parts of the house. You walk further into the room and look around for your older boys. You leave the main room and head toward the next to find that your shepherds as still snoozing away on their favorite bed. Sometimes they liked to come in here to get some space of their own, and you creep into the room so you can kneel down next to them. It’s not until you’re practically on top of them that you see that they’re not alone. 
“Aww.” 
A giant mass of black fur is situated between them and you almost call for Wanda to come see them just because of how cute they look. You restrain yourself because Fat Louise has already started to wake up, and you’re careful not to startle the trio as you reach out for the cat.
“Hi there. Good morning.” 
You watch as Boone and Rogue start to stir as Fat Louise kicks them as she stretches and yawns. You chuckle under your breath as Rogue grumbles and Boone sits up quickly. He’s usually faster to rise and you smile as you scratch your dog behind the ears and kiss his nose. 
“Hi buddy. Were you a good pillow?” 
Boone just yawns before he climbs off the bed and shakes himself out. You’re covered in dog hair rather quickly and you stand up to wipe it off your shirt with a sigh. Rogue is sitting up at this point and the three of you are on your way to breakfast when you hear Wanda call you. She doesn’t sound panicked, but you hurry nonetheless so you’re not keeping her waiting. 
“Y/n? Can you come here, please?” 
When you arrive to the kitchen you find that Wanda’s already gotten Natalya up and she’d started to feed her. Keyword started because you see that there’s been a bit of an accident, and Wanda was now covered in spit up. It was mostly on her back and you cringe slightly as you reach out for your daughter. 
“Little Nat. Did you eat too fast? Do you want me to hold her so you can clean up?” 
Wanda nods gratefully and you take Natalya into your arms and rock her gently. You don’t want to upset her possibly pissed off stomach and you wait until Wanda returns before trying again. This time goes better, but slower and you watch as Wanda feeds the dogs and Fat Louise before daring to bring up breakfast. 
“My little one, you’re too cute to spit up, okay? You need to take after me, baby girl.” 
Wanda’s rolling her eyes as she finishes putting together some food for Natalya to pick at before bringing your plates to the table. 
“I thought we didn’t want her to spill all over herself, Y/n.”
Your response is to simply stick your tongue out at your wife which just makes her laugh in amusement. You get Natalya situated in her chair before heading for the kitchen to grab her tiny bowls that Wanda had left in there. Her appreciative look is met with a smile and one of your own as you sit down beside your daughter to eat. 
“Thank you for cooking, Wands.”
As usual, the two of you go between eating, feeding Natalya, and chatting about plans for the day. You’d be happy to just sit around before cooking dinner a little later, but Wanda had other plans. As much fun as yesterday was, she wanted to get out a little today and check on the restaurant. You are only a little disappointed that you’ll be left home by yourself, but this feeling only lasts for two seconds before Wanda clarifies her meaning. 
“Maybe we can all go together?” 
Natalya makes both of you smile as she takes her empty bowl and bangs it on her tray table. You reach out to take it from her before gently banging it on the table in response. The dogs are looking at you in confusion and Wanda’s just shaking her head in amusement. You hand the bowl back to your daughter and wait until she tugs on it before giving it back to her. 
“Do you like that idea, Little Nat? Do you want to go on a family trip to Mommy’s restaurant?” 
When Natalya only offers you a gleeful laugh you smile wider before nodding in understanding. You’ll all go to the restaurant later to confirm that it’s still up and running, and to give your wife her fix. Maybe you’ll hang out for a bit and let her cook some. 
The morning goes by quickly after breakfast, and you and Wanda are on your way to the restaurant with Natalya your arms. You’d already reached out to Bucky and Steve and they confirmed that they’d be tagging along for this trip. You decide to drive and you give Nat a kiss on her little forehead before handing her to Wanda with a sigh. 
“Do we have everything?” 
After spending almost an hour preparing for the trip this morning, you feel like you’re leaving for the night instead of just a few hours. Wanda’s packed a large diaper bag with blankets, bibs, baby wipes, and a change of clothes and diapers for Natalya. There’s also some toys and snacks Wanda wanted to bring just in case. The back seat is completely full with all of the bags and Nat who sat securely strapped into her car seat. She was sleeping for now, but you had a feeling she would perk up when she got to the restaurant. 
She’d been there maybe two times in her life. First, she went there only days after leaving the hospital. It had been after closing, but Wanda had wanted to show off her beautiful daughter, and everyone had fawned over her. The next time she’d gone it was to visit her mom on a day she was at the restaurant dealing with a problem. She’d been frustrated, tired, and just wanted to be home with her baby, but she’d been pleasantly surprised when Pietro had showed up. 
Now that Nat was slightly older, Wanda wanted her to go back to see where she worked. She wanted her to get used to the smells and sounds, and she wanted her to meet whoever was working today. If Stella was there, she was guaranteed to get distracted by Natalya. 
Wanda nods in confirmation as she turns around to face front as you put the car into reverse. She glances down at you and sees that you’ve packed as well. Whenever you leave the house, you take at least one gun to have on you at all times. She also knows that you have at least three others in the car, but she’s never seen you use those. One’s in the glove compartment, the other is under your seat, and the third is in the back hidden from view and a safe distance from Natalya. At home you’re a little more relaxed and despite having guns stashed around the penthouse, you don’t often carry one on you. 
Despite not liking the idea of having guns in the house, especially with Natalya, she knows that it’s a necessary evil that will keep her family safe. She looks away from the gun on your hip as she reaches out to grab one of your hands once you’ve turned onto the main road. 
“I’m so excited we’re doing this.” 
As you turn to make sure there are no cars coming before you cross the intersection, you sneak a quick peek at your wife and can’t help but find her excitement endearing. She loved her job and you hated that she had to take such a long break from it. It brought her so much joy and seeing how just the idea of going back so drastically changed her mood, you wanted to do this more often. You know that Wanda loved your daughter and that she didn’t want to miss out on the chance to raise her. However, you also knew that if Wanda could have it both ways and raise your daughter while working in her kitchen she would be in heaven. 
“Me too, Wands.” 
After kissing her hand with a smile, you think about this for the rest of the ride to the restaurant. Wanda should be able to have more freedom to do what she wants. You know that Pietro loves to help out, but you’re Natalya’s mother and you should be more available. Wanda notices you’re frowning as you pull into the parking lot of her restaurant and you’re quick to look for Steve and Bucky. The duo is already here watching the doors and you circle the building so you can go in the back. You squeeze Wanda’s hand as you park and she sees that your frown’s been replaced by a smile as you shoot her a curious look.
“Ready for this, loves?”
Bucky smiles as he watches you and Wanda get out of the car, the former hurrying to grab your daughter. Wanda tries to protest but you just shake your head and tell her to go on and head in. She had been vibrating in excitement for the entire ride, so you knew she was anxious to see everyone. 
“Go ahead, Wands. We’ll be right behind you.” 
After shooting you one more questioning look, Wanda relents and heads inside. She smiles at Bucky before walking through the door he held open. As he let it fall shut, he walks over to where you’re grabbing the diaper bag and throwing it over your shoulder. Natalya is already in your arms and she’s looking around curiously at the unfamiliar place.
“Hey, Y/n.”
Natalya’s squirming makes it difficult to hold her while shutting the door, but Bucky takes care of that as you adjust your daughter on your hip. You shoot him a grateful look before kissing Natalya’s cheek with a sigh. 
“Thanks, Bucky. How goes it?” 
Following his lead through the back door, you lock the car on your way in as you wait for him to answer your vague question. He shrugs before mentioning that nothing new has been found out since you last spoke. The investigation was still ongoing and there were apparently no suspects yet. You weren’t sure if you were annoyed or relieved to hear this. 
“Where is the little one? Did you not bring her?” 
The sound of one of Wanda’s coworkers, Maria, makes you smile widely. She’s an older woman in her early-sixties, but Wanda’s known her since she first came to the U.S with her brother. She’d been one of her first foster moms and despite the difficult siblings and the stressful situation, the woman had always been the only foster parent she viewed as a mother-figure. When she’d opened her restaurant, she’d reached out to her and asked if she’d be interested in helping out. She’d been working alongside her ever since. 
Wanda’s laugh makes you realize that she really did need this visit today, and you’re quick to follow the sound of her voice to the kitchen. 
“Good to see you too, Maria. Yes, I brought her, Y/n should be here with her any second.” 
You take this as your cue to come around the corner and walk into the bright open kitchen that you haven’t seen in a while. It’s busy as expected because the lunch rush is about to start, but that doesn’t stop everyone from turning toward you and Natalya. The first one to greet you is unsurprisingly the woman who was waiting anxiously for your daughter’s arrival and you smile before preparing to pass Natalya over. 
“Good to see you again, Maria. Here’s the little chonker.” 
Wanda is rolling her eyes as you shoot her a teasing smile that Maria just ignores in favor of reaching out for your daughter. She’s smiling brightly, and she coos at Little Nat who just smiles and reaches for her hair. You are going to be shocked if your daughter doesn’t have a thing for hair later in life. 
“Hi Y/n! How are you?” 
You smile before shrugging and saying that all’s been well, but you don’t really expect a response as Maria and another employee, Sophie start to fawn over your daughter.
“Oh, she has gotten bigger! She’s so adorable.” 
“She’s not too big, she’s perfect, isn’t that right? Oh, this hat is so cute."
Wanda watches happily as the duo kiss and squeeze on her giggling daughter. She looks to you before Bucky walks into the kitchen too with a sigh. Steve is up front talking to the hostess Stella, but the commotion from the back makes her realize that Wanda’s arrived. 
It wasn’t difficult to know when the brunette was here. It always went the same way since she’d been working here. The tall, built blonde named Steve would show up, sometimes with his friend Bucky, to make sure that nothing was amiss around or in the restaurant. Then Wanda would show up either by herself or with her daughter or brother. Occasionally you showed up as well, and as Stella walks into the kitchen she realizes which three of you are here. 
Wanda turns when she and Steve walk in, and she’s quickly pulled into a hug which she returns readily. 
“Stella, it’s good to see you. How have you been?” 
Wanda catches up with her friends and you and Steve talk as well, but about nothing specific. You’d already asked Bucky if there was anything of note with the investigation, but apparently they hadn’t found anything useful yet. You wonder how long it will take for the other shoe to drop, and you can’t help but feel anxious just at the thought. You try to distract yourself by focusing on Wanda and your daughter, but they’re still preoccupied at the moment. 
“Are you two coming over later for dinner?” 
You’d officially just invited Nat and Yelena, but you knew that Nat had told Bucky and Yelena would probably bring Kate. You weren’t opposed to more people coming. It would be nice to see everyone and a distraction from work would be nice too. 
Bucky brings your attention back to him when he shakes his head before claiming that he’ll be busy working. Given how much you’ve put on his plate you don’t doubt this and you shoot him an apologetic look before turning to Steve. He’s smiling as he watches Natalya get passed back to her mom. She’s still talking to Stella and Nat reaches out for the younger girl with a smile. 
“I can probably make it. I’ll see how some stuff goes later.” 
You’re nodding as you watch Wanda take your daughter to one of the stations near the back of the kitchen. She’s talking to some people before she gets this look that you know all too well. You’re already digging in the bag on your shoulder for Nat's carrier. You’re by Wanda’s side when she decides what she wants to make with Natalya. She’ll be doing all the work, but she loves to have her daughter with her as she enjoys being in her element. 
“Thanks, detka.” 
The kiss to your cheek makes you smile dopily and you help Wanda get Natalya situated on your wife’s back. She’s still a little restless, but you stand by watching Wanda get everything together to cook and you see that Natalya eventually just begins to watch. Wanda talks to her as if she can actually understand it as she describes her steps and cooks a meal that she hasn’t had in too long. She’s so passionate about what she’s doing that you feel yourself fall in love with her all over again. You just observe quietly and enjoy watching Wanda be carefree for a while. 
Natalya starts to pull on Wanda’s hair and she hears quiet whimpering in her ear that catches her attention. She turns slightly but can’t really see anything, but it catches your attention. 
“What’s wrong little one? Are you getting tired?”
Wanda hears you look in the diaper bag again for her pacifier and you whip it out with a smile before holding it up to your daughter. 
“Do you want this, little Nat? Want to take a nap?” 
A few minutes later, Natalya is asleep with her pacifier in her mouth, and Wanda sighs in content. She’s happy to be in her kitchen again, and she loves that you’re right by her side, holding her in your arms. You don’t say much as you just watch her cook, but your presence is enough to calm her and reaffirm her belief that you both needed this visit. 
“Are Bucky and Steve coming to dinner?” 
Your friends have wandered off at this point, but you knew they were nearby. Everyone else had to go back to work, but you and Wanda had all the time in the world to relax and just enjoy yourselves. You nod as you mention what Bucky and Steve told you while you play with your daughter’s fingers. 
“Yeah, Bucky can’t make it, but Steve wants his steak rare. Still kicking if we can manage it.” 
Wanda laughs out loud at this and rolls her eyes at the fact that she knows you’re only partially kidding. They were going to grill on the roof tonight, and Steve and Yelena’s favorite was steak while Wanda and Nat liked chicken and you preferred fish. You were excited to have your friends over to enjoy the last night you’ll have free for a while. Your schedule for the coming days was rough, but hopefully afterwards things would calm down for a while. You’ll be handing over more responsibilities soon and once you saw how they did you could see what else you could tweak. 
“You’re ridiculous. That’ll be your job, detka. I’m glad they can come though.” 
For the next hour Wanda finishes up what she’s cooking and you change Nat’s diaper in the office and feed her a bit before the three of you take off. You make the rounds and say goodbye to everyone before heading back home with Bucky and Steve as escorts. 
As you drive back home you steal glances at your wife who despite looking a little tired seems happy. She sighs as she relaxes into her seat and looks out the window. She brushes the back of your hand with her thumb and she hums when you ask her if she had a good time. You smile at how distracted she is, but you don’t bother to comment on it as you peek into the rearview mirror to see that Natalya is sleeping. 
“How about a quick nap and then I’ll start cooking?”
Once your family is back home and Wanda’s putting Natalya in the nursery for a nap, you realize that you could use one as well. It’s 4 now and you have a couple of hours before you need to start cooking for tonight. You’re mostly preparing sides since you’ll wait until everyone shows up to grill and have some drinks. You recall how you’ve already gone through one of your three bottles of sparkling cider that you keep in the house with a sigh. 
Wanda hasn’t kept alcohol in the house for years. She doesn’t drink much at all, and if she does, she buys just enough for her or their guests before pouring any remainder out. She’ll never keep alcohol around because she doesn’t want you to be tempted by it in any way. She knows that part of your recovery includes not being around people who drink, places where drinks are served, or anything of the sort. Most of the time when you have friends over, they bring non-alcoholic drinks, or Yelena just drinks some beforehand. That said, you still stick to your water or cider because even ‘non-alcoholic- beer and wine can have alcohol in it, and you’d been told to steer clear of that. 
“That sounds wonderful, but I’ll help too.” 
You’re too tired to argue and after confirming with your friends that they’ll come by around 6, you and Wanda retire to your bedroom with the baby monitor and a couple of dogs in tow. You’re yawning before you even see the bed, and you watch with a smile as Wanda sinks into it with a groan. She’d really done all of the work this afternoon. She’d cooked some side dishes for tonight that are still out on the counter, and then she’d made a dessert that is chilling. You had helped a little, but most of your focus had been on Natalya or watching Wanda. You knew that despite appreciating your assistance, Wanda could do all of this in her sleep and didn’t need your help. You mostly served as company and if you got a couple of samples while you were at it, you didn’t complain. 
“You already cooked a lot, so I get to do the heavy lifting.” 
Your wife just hums in acknowledgement, not really hearing what you’re saying as she curls up under the covers with a yawn. A hand reaches out for you and Wanda waits patiently as you take off your jacket and gun before sliding into bed next to her with a smile. 
You’re pulled into your wife’s arms and you just laugh as you indulge her and cuddle close to her with a smile. You kiss her forehead before stifling a yawn as you turn so your face is in her hair. She still smells like her shampoo and faintly of what she’d cooked earlier and you hum happily. 
“Night, Wands.” 
The response you get is an indiscernible mumble that just makes you smile widely as you close your eyes and try to sleep and mentally prepare for tonight. 
Detective Reese’s hope continues to dwindle as he watches his team search through the last dumpster on this block. After getting a call about the senator’s murder, he’d been working around the clock to try and find a suspect where there seemed to be no one. 
The entire thing was a brain buster. A few days ago, at the senator’s birthday party, they’d received a tip that someone was going to try to assassinate him. They’d upped his security and kept him under lockdown for nearly 36 hours before the threat was neutralized, or so they’d thought. 
When Logan Keen had turned up dead, they assumed that he was the one they were looking for. He’d been spotted at the party and after getting spooked he’d left. They’d found a rough sketch of his plan in the apartment along with a couple of rifles and they’d considered the case closed. They couldn’t tell if he’d been working for anyone, so they concluded he’d been acting alone and released a statement to the press. After hearing about this the senator had insisted on ending the lockdown, and short of forcing him into hiding there was nothing they could do. 
They should have known better.
Now he was facing threats of a demotion if he doesn’t figure out who did this within the next 12 hours. He isn’t super optimistic, but he still has a few things to do before he throws in the towel. He turns his head when he hears the commotion from down the alley. One of the two who had been dumpster diving are holding up something covered in coffee grounds and various fluids, but it’s easily recognizable. A few seconds later, the other holds up something else that had been wrapped in a plastic bag, and Reeves smiles in relief. 
A rifle and a silencer. 
“Let’s get this to the lab.” 
“Woah! Look out.”
Yelena laughs as she lets her dog Fanny run out of the elevator and into your house with very little warning. She and Nat had arrived and as expected they’d brought Fanny and food. You smile at your friends before pulling Yelena into a hug and taking one of her bags. She’s still carrying three more, but you don’t even bother trying to grab another one as Nat reaches out for you to mess up your already mussed hair. 
“Hey there kiddo, you look like you just got out of bed.” 
Despite the fact that Nat was right, you roll your eyes in annoyance before turning to lead her down the hall toward the kitchen. Steve was already here and he was helping you get the meat together as Wanda finishes up putting out the food onto the counter. You’d thought about putting it outside, but then you’d have to deal with the dogs trying to get to it and since there were now 6 here, that sounded like a headache. You were determined to relax, so you decided to keep everything but the meat that would be on the grill inside so you didn’t have to chase after one of your dogs for trying to steal food. Once was enough. 
“Thanks, Nat. Love you too.” 
Wanda looks up as you say this and the redhead just messes up your hair again before you swat her hand away with a scowl. She smiles at the scene before looking to Yelena who’s setting her bags on the counter and unloading the surprising amount of food she’d brought. 
“Hey, is Kate not coming?” 
Yelena rolls her eyes before stopping what she’s doing to shoot Wanda an unimpressed look. Nat’s already laughing as you sigh in defeat before greeting your dog who came to sniff out the new food. 
“What, are we not enough for you, Wanda?” 
Your wife to her credit just smiles before putting the last dish on the counter beside the others. There was so much food here that you were sure to be eating left-overs for days. Wanda glances to the shepherds at your feet before glancing back to an expectant Yelena. 
“More than enough, Yelena. I just wanted to make sure that Y/n’s threat of interrogation didn’t scare her off.” 
You chuckle at this as you stand up from petting your dogs to head over to see if Yelena wanted help unloading things. You try not to think too hard about how you would have asked Kate about when she and Yelena were going to get married. It was irrational and you mostly wanted your friends to be happy, but you would be lying if you said them being married wouldn’t make you feel better. Your brief and sordid history with Kate wasn’t something that you wanted Yelena to find out about ever, but for some reason you thought it would be a softer blow to both Yelena and your face, if it happened after the couple got married. 
“Nah, she’s catching up on some shelter paperwork tonight. She promised she’ll be by soon.” 
Wanda smiles glad to hear this, but you’re a little confused about what paperwork Kate should be working on. As part of your impending retirement, you were transitioning more toward your shelter work over anything truly illegal. You had told Kate about this, minus the retirement part, but she was smart and could figure this out. Either way, she was supposed to tell you if anything major happened. You remind yourself to check in with her later, but for now you just settle on looking to Yelena with a frown. 
“Is she working on anything interesting?” 
Wanda watches the exchange between you and Yelena in amusement until you start emptying the bag that is apparently all alcohol. You don’t even notice at first and you’re three bottles in before you realize it. You look to the four bottles of wine and then the remaining two in the bag before you smile teasingly at Yelena. 
“Thirsty, are we?” 
Yelena just smiles back as she slides the bottles towards her and grabs a couple to put in the fridge. She had meant to start with this bag, but supposed it couldn’t be helped now. She just steers your attention away from them and to something more important.
“It was a busy week; you know how it is. Now where is my niece?” 
A brief look around confirms that Natalya is still with Steve as he goes back and forth between the roof and the kitchen to set things up. Little Nat is strapped to his chest, and when Big Nat sees him, she’s quick to greet her. In fact, both of your friends abandon you to see your daughter. You pretend to be annoyed, but honestly you can’t blame them. She’s pretty stinking cute. 
“Steve hand her over!” 
“Let me see my niece.” 
Your friends continue to fight over your daughter as you and Wanda finish up. Wanda puts away the rest of the wine and you grab a bag of dog treats that Yelena had brought. She loves to spoil them and after getting permission to feed Fanny, you find yourself in a sea of dog fur. 
“Everyone sit down! Sit!” 
You toss five treats into the air and then hand one to Sully who is cute but has no mouth-eye coordination. You pet each of the dogs before they run outside to follow the trio that is fawning over their niece. You smile widely as you hear Steve’s voice among the pitter patter of dog feet heading down the hall. 
“Natalya, do you want to cook with your Uncle Steve?” 
“No, she wants to cook with me!”
Wanda rolls her eyes but she quickly smiles as you grab her hand and follow your friends outside. 
“That’s not how it went at all!” 
You’re resting in one of your chairs with Boone’s head in your lap as your friends start to argue. They were all getting ready to eat and with Steve now standing at the grill, he’d had to give Natalya to someone else. He wanted to hold onto her but the heat from the grill and the splattering made it unsafe, so he’d given Yelena her much needed Little Nat time. 
“Yes, it did, Yelena. We all saw you fall down the stairs.” 
You smile at the memory of what Nat was talking about. It was a pretty standard supply run for you but your friends had been available to help. After business was over you and Yelena had spent some time wandering around one of the older buildings that you owned. After moving everything that you needed you and your best friend unfortunately decided to play hide and seek. The building was new to you both so you hadn’t known how treacherous it was in places, but you’d found out quickly when your game turned into tag and Yelena tried to escape down a flight of stairs. 
“Yeah, you landed on your ass and everything.” 
Yelena just glares at you as you say this from where you’re sitting with your wife. Wanda is sipping her drink to hide her amused smile while petting Rogue where he sits at her feet. She remembers hearing this story because you and Yelena had fought about it for nearly a week afterwards. She was still under the assumption that she’d won the game apparently. 
“But I still won. “
“How could you win if I found you?”
“You found me but didn’t tag me!” 
Yelena gestures at you as if to make a point and your response is to roll your eyes and hold your glass up with a smirk. Your friend has been drinking her wine like water, and you’re studiously ignoring it as you finish up your fizzy drink. You could use something else and you stand up with a sigh causing Boone to start and stand up in anticipation. You look to Wanda to see that she that she still has most of her drink left, so you look to your friends instead. 
“Anyone want another drink?” 
When the trio shake their head you and Boone head to the kitchen for a refill. You weave around the other dogs that follow you before deciding that you need to check on Fat Louise. She didn’t come outside with everyone, and you want to make sure she’s not causing trouble. You haven’t gotten used to having a cat around, and luckily she couldn’t jump on the counter like most, but she did like to scavenge. You’d found her chewing on your shoe one morning, and then playing with a dead bug the next, so you tried to keep things tidier for her. You’d also bought her some more toys and a wheel that you had a feeling she’d never use just in case she was bored. 
The most she’d been willing to do was play with the feather toy that you flung around the room for her to chase. The dogs of course tried to eat it, so it was only something she could do when you were around, not that you thought she really liked it that much. 
“Fat Louise. Where are you?”
Silence settles around the group as soon as you leave and the only sound comes from the grill or the dogs wrestling. Wanda sighs as she hears someone come to sit next to her in your spot. She knows who it is without looking but she still turns to check as she offers the redhead a smile. 
“How are you, Wands? Getting any more sleep?” 
As Wanda catches Nat up on how Little Nat has been doing for the past couple of weeks, Yelena walks over to Steve to see how the cooking’s going. She sneaks a peek around him and sees that everything looks as well as smells delicious. She tries to sneak some of the vegetables that are on the edge of the grill but Steve bats her hand away with a scowl. 
“They’re almost finished. Patience.” 
Yelena just rolls her eyes before downing the rest of her drink. Without any alcohol in this, she could honestly drink all 6 bottles tonight. Honestly depending on the day, she could drink 6 normal bottles. She walks over to the cooler for another drink with a sigh. She has to open a new bottle and she brings it over to Steve with a questioning look. 
“Do you want to help me finish this?” 
Steve shakes his head, but Yelena pours him some anyway. She always has conflicting feelings about drinking, even this around you. She knows that you’re doing better, but she’s sure that seeing anyone drink can be triggering on the wrong day. She’d made sure to check with Wanda first to see if it would be okay tonight, and she’d told her that it was fine.
“Come on, Steve. Drink up, Captain. I’m hungry.” 
Nat’s laughing when you return after tracking down your wayward cat. She’d been sleeping under your bed and you’d just left her alone since she wasn’t doing anything harmful. You’d refilled your drink and snuck some food before coming back outside with Boone on your heels. You smile when you see that Wanda and Nat are smiling, and you’re about to ask when Yelena practically tackles you from behind. You luckily manage to hold onto you drink and stay upright despite your knees protest. You groan in annoyance that quickly become curiosity when you see what’s in Yelena’s hand. Well not her drink, but the small gift bag that you’d just noticed she had. 
“Hey Y/n! Let’s open this. We brought it for Little Natalya.” 
Steve’s finished cooking at this point and after covering the food to keep it warm, he comes over to where you’ve all gathered. You sit next to Wanda on her seat while Nat and Yelena share one. Steve just stands by watching as you pass the bag to Wanda as you take out something in wrapping paper. You squeeze on it a little and shake it in front of Natalya with a smile. 
“What is this, little one? Is this for you?”
Everyone smiles as Natalya reaches out for the gift from where she sits in Yelena’s lap. She giggles and you almost hand it to her, but you figure you’ll just wait and open the small squishy gift that is probably a toy yourself. This is quickly confirmed when you rip off the paper and see a black and purple…
“What is this? A bat?” 
Yelena grins so widely that you realize this was definitely her idea and you can’t help but laugh at her enthusiasm. You really do appreciate how into the whole ‘auntie Yelena’ thing she is, and given Wanda’s smile you know she does too. 
“It’s a vampire bat. See the fangs?” 
You nod as you pretend to fly the little bat toward Natalya who grabs it immediately. She waves it around for a bit before putting it in her mouth. Nat smiles at her before deciding that it’s time for her turn. Wanda’s just smiles before reaching into the bag to see what’s Nat got. She pulls out a little grey fluffy onesie that has the words “I love my aunties (and uncles)” on it. 
“Nat this is so cute!” 
You look to see what Wanda’s talking about and you smile widely at the sight of her holding up Little Nat’s new outfit. It’s so adorable and you know the moment you get back inside you’re changing her into it and taking a picture. 
“That’s so sweet. Thank you both, I know she’ll love them.” 
A large crowd surrounds the table where everyone sits down to eat dinner. The dogs have all chosen a person to sit by, even Natalya. Your daughter was now in Nat’s lap as she ate with one hand. One arm was wrapped around her niece to make sure she didn’t fall whenever she decided to wiggle. Her little vampire bat was still clutched in her hands. Rogue would sniff it occasionally before turning his attention to Wanda who pet him every now and then. 
“Where’s Pietro tonight? Working at the restaurant?” 
You’re about to nod in confirmation but Wanda speaks up before you get a chance. You can’t help but laugh at what she says, and you see smiles all around.
“More like flirting at the restaurant. Maria told me that if he’s not helping in the kitchen, he’s harassing Stella.” 
This sounds more likely than not because you knew that Pietro had a crush on the hostess. As far as you know it hadn’t gone anywhere, but it was fun to tease him about it. 
“That poor girl.” 
“You went there today, right? How was it?
 You’re smiling as you turn to Wanda to take over as you continue to eat. She tells your friends about taking Nat to the restaurant and having everyone love on her. The group at the restaurant really was like a second family, and Wanda continued to take her there because she wanted her daughter to have that. You space out a little as Wanda talks to your friends, and your mind wanders to work. 
Wanda’s gaze shifts to you briefly when she realizes that you’re no longer paying attention. You’re smiling as you think of something she probably won’t be able to guess. She’s about to ask you what’s on your mind, but Nat standing up distracts her. 
You briefly imagine what your life would be like if you stopped working and were able to spend time with your friends like this more often. You could help Wanda at the restaurant or you could even try to find something else to do. It seemed unlikely, but the possibility of it still excited you and you couldn’t help but smile to yourself. 
“Ugh, sorry someone’s calling.” 
After excusing herself, but keeping Natalya on her hip she wanders away toward the grill to answer the phone. She sees that it’s Bucky and she can’t help but fear that he has bad news. He knows that she’s here tonight and he wouldn’t be bothering her unless it was urgent. 
"Hey Buck-"
“Nat are you at Y/n and Wanda’s right now?” 
The urgency she hears in his tone makes her stiffen and she has to resist the urge to look back toward the table to where everyone is laughing at a joke that you’re telling. 
“Yes, we are. Why, what’s wrong?” 
As Nat listens to Bucky explain what’s happened, she nearly drops her phone in shock. She holds onto Little Nat tighter as she realizes that their night of relaxation is over. Particularly for you. She curses under her breath before she decides to ask the only question she can really think of at this point. 
“Have you called her lawyer?”
Bucky confirms that this had been the first call he’d made after finding out what the police had found. He’d been working on something completely unrelated when one of your contacts from the police station had called him. Apparently, a gun had been found near Jacobs’ residence, and bullets from the magazine had been matched with the ones that were dug out of the senator’s body. The gun was analyzed for prints and despite being in a dumpster through the rain and various other fluids some had been found on the magazine. Specifically, your finger prints had been found on the murder weapon.
“He thinks that they’ll wait until tomorrow to do it, but they’re going to arrest her soon.” 
This time Nat can’t stop herself and she turns briefly to see that you’re still distracted talking to Yelena, but Wanda is looking at her curiously. She looks away quickly because she can’t tell her before you, and she sighs heavily as she thinks about what to do next. 
“Did you want me to tell her?” 
Bucky considers this because he thought it might be easier to talk about in person, but if you had questions, he’s more likely to be able to answer them. He also doesn’t want to pawn this off on Nat. He was the one who figured it out and despite how poorly you’re going to react, he knows he has to tell you. 
“It’s okay, I’ll do it. Is she free to talk now? “
Nat immediately thinks no because you’re with your friends and family and it is not the time to talk about this. That said, this isn’t exactly something that can wait. Bucky didn’t say for certain that the police would wait until tomorrow and if they showed up before you were told about what happened you’d be furious and caught off guard. 
Nat curses again under her breath, bouncing Natalya on her hip as she wonders how the hell this happened. 
“This is fucking crazy. I feel like I’m going to be sick.” 
Bucky doesn’t say anything because he feels the same way. He has no idea how this had happened considering that you hadn’t killed Jacobs. You’d given up on him as soon as Logan failed and you hadn’t mentioned revisiting this let alone killing him. Not to mention, if you had done this it wouldn’t have been this sloppy. Leaving the murder weapon with prints near the scene. That was an amateur move and even in your early years you knew better than that. 
“I know. It’s fucked up. “
Nat tries to keep her expression neutral as she returns to the table with her phone still in her hand. She hands Natalya to Yelena who despite being confused takes her happily. Nat’s hand goes to your shoulder as she holds her phone out. 
“Bucky wants to talk to you.”
The smile you’d been wearing drops immediately, but you nod as you stand up before grabbing her phone. You excuse yourself and as you turn you miss Nat looking to her sister, Steve, and then Wanda who immediately realizes something is off. She is about to ask what’s going on but she hears your voice cut through the silence like a knife. 
“Wait, what!?” 
You’re not sure if you’re having a fever dream or if your luck is just that shitty, but Bucky telling you that you’re going to be arrested for murder tomorrow makes your head spin. You listen to what he says about the weapon being found and the plan to come find you tomorrow morning most likely. You don’t get to ask if he’s contacted your lawyer before he covers that too. 
“I called Gavin and he’ll be ready as soon as you need him. He’s already compiling evidence in your defense. “
That makes you pause and you just take a moment to process what Bucky’s told you so far. Senator Jacobs was killed and they had no suspects up until this afternoon when the murder weapon was found in a dumpster nearby his house. The murder weapon with your fingerprints on it. You certainly hadn’t killed Jacobs, you’d been at home with your family, and if you had killed him, you wouldn’t be this sloppy. Someone was trying to frame you, but why? 
Why would someone want to send you to jail? 
You consider what it would be like in jail and how the evidence they have could keep you there. You can’t imagine being away from your family, and you can’t imagine being in jail with people who you might have fucked over. You tense at the thought of going down for this which would be terrifying whether you did it or not, but what really scared you was the unknown. 
Whoever had done this wanted something from you, or simply wanted you out of the way. You weren’t sure which was worse, but the thought of leaving your family under someone else’s protection scared you. You couldn’t leave them. You couldn’t go to jail for something you didn’t do. You don’t realize that Bucky’s talking to you because you’re focusing all of your energy on breathing. Suddenly your chest feels tight and you can’t get enough air in your lungs. Your hands are shaking and you nearly drop Nat’s phone as you shake your head to try to stave off the panic attack you feel coming on.
“Fuck. How--.” 
You stop short as your breath catches and you’re falling before you even realize you’ve lost your footing. It’s only due to Wanda and Nat’s foresight to come stand nearby that keeps you from hitting the ground. 
"Shit!"
"Y/n-"
Wanda grabs your arm to hold you up as Nat goes to your other side to help her. She realizes you’re panicking as soon as she sees your wide eyes and ragged breathing. You can’t focus on anything in front of you and you barely realize you’re being lowered to the ground. Wanda kneels down beside you as Nat quickly talks to Bucky before putting her phone in her pocket. 
“Y/n, detka can you look at me?”
She has no idea what’s going on, but given how worried Nat looked and how panicked you were she figured it was bad. She reaches out for you when you just continue to stare off into space, and she brings her hands to your face to try and get your attention. Nat looks to her sister and waves her over to see if your daughter’s presence will help. 
“Y/n breathe with me, okay? Just breathe.” 
When Wanda feels how warm your face is she’s quick to move her hands to your shoulders to push your jacket off. It’s a little chilly out, but she’s worried about you working yourself up even more, and the cold might snap you out of it. Wanda doesn’t notice Yelena appear over her shoulder with Natalya in her arms as she reaches for your hands. She watches you try to breathe deeply but you’re struggling and Wanda frowns as something occurs to her.
“Y/n, did you take your medications this morning?”
You are usually good about taking them given you’ve been on them for years, but sometimes it slipped your mind or you got busy. Sometimes you forgot to take both and other times you only took one. When she sees you try to think about it, she realizes that it doesn’t matter if you did or not, you should take at least one of them now to make you feel better. 
You’re shaking your head by the time Wanda turns to Nat and asks her to run and find them for her. She just nods and hurries inside, followed by a couple of dogs as Wanda turns back to you with a smile. She’s not sure what’s on your mind, but she can tell that you’re still running it over and over in your head so she tries another tactic. 
“Yelena, can I see, Natalya?” 
Her daughter is quickly put in her arms and Wanda smiles at her before kissing the top of her head. She looks to her before whispering under her breath. 
“We’re going to help your mom. Okay, little one?”
Natasha runs inside and immediately heads to her friends’ bedroom to look for your medications. She knew that you were on two, but she was pretty sure that you had a third that you took during situations like this. It had been a long time since she’d seen you have an attack like this and she was trying not to panic herself. Wanda was certainly worried too, but she was doing a good job of hiding it and being calm for you. Nat couldn’t help but wonder how many times she’d had to go through this with you. 
This entire thing was a mess and it would only get worse once Wanda realized what had triggered you. Nat tries not to think about that as she grabs the three bottles just in case she’s wrong about what Wanda wants and heads back outside. She nearly trips over one of the terriers that had followed her inside, and she curses before running out on the roof again. 
When she spots where you’re still sitting on the ground next to your wife, daughter, and favorite dog she can tell you’re doing a little better. 
“Now can you tell me three things that you hear, detka?” 
You’re breathing a lot better as you focus more on your wife than your intrusive panicky thoughts. You mutter some things under your breath that she doesn’t hear, but they make Wanda smile and she nods as she sets Natalya down in between the two of you. You notice her immediately and you reach out with a smile before Wanda asks another question. She sees you look behind her and she realizes that Nat is back and she turns as well to see what she brought. You’re doing better now, but it still wouldn’t be a bad idea for you to take at least the Ativan. 
“What about smell?” 
You’ve played this horrible game too many times you don’t need to ask for specifics. You just pick up your daughter who’s getting sleepy and hugging her tightly before kissing the top of her head. 
“Baby smell and my dinner.” 
Wanda holds her hand out for the bottles that Nat’s brought and she thanks her before looking them all over carefully. She sets two down before holding out the last one to you with a questioning look. You already know which bottle she’s handing you, but you look at it anyway with a sigh. Someone appears behind you and sets a glass of water next to you and you just smile appreciatively before looking back to your wife. 
“Now taste.” 
You open the bottle and take the chalky white pill with a grimace and a sip of water. You take a deep breath and try to push down your embarrassment at losing your shit in front of your friends. You’re not sure where they are, other than Nat standing behind Wanda, but you don’t bother looking. You shake your head before leaning toward your wife. 
“This bitter fucking pill.” 
Wanda smiles at you before meeting your lips for a quick kiss. You pull away with another sigh and look to Little Nat who’s starting to fall asleep in your arms, your wife who’s looking at you proudly, and then Big Nat who’s looking the part of a proud older sister. 
“Good job, detka.” 
As Wanda helps you stand up you realize that you’ve ruined dinner, or at least the mood. You don’t think that you will all be able to just sit back down and finish eating without talking about what threw you into a panic. Nat clearly knows and she’s on the same page as you despite wishing they could salvage this evening. She watches as you take a not-so-subtle glance at the last wine bottle in the cooler before you take a deep, steadying breath. You turn your attention to Wanda, but you’re really addressing everyone but Nat. 
“I guess I should tell you what all of this is about.” 
Masterlist
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neversetyoufree · 5 months
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Alright, here's your standard monthly warning that I'll be posting vnc spoilers along with today's Japanese release, so please blacklist #vnc spoilers or #vnc 61.5 if you'd like to avoid
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fabledteeth · 8 months
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the breakup dialogue in astarion’s final romance scene is so funny why the fuck does he get so mad 😭😭 you asked if i still wanted this!!
like he’s so sweet about it when you break up with him during gameplay but now he’s yelling and super offended?? also “after everything I’ve done for you” baby i love you…. what the fuck have you ever done for me
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suddenly felt a very strong need for a ram charan horse girl compilation because i think it's adorable
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deityofhearts · 3 months
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did I do it right?
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aeb-art · 2 months
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i said i'd make myself benny the cab in the au and i meant it
the toon designs for sun and moon are @ren-054's, though this is definitely too messy to tell lmao sorry
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pauls1967moustache · 1 year
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Perspective flip for Slip Of the Tongue pls! (Any part)
I had to blow the dust off this one tbh, but this fic is actually so interesting to me now, because I was still new-ish to the fandom when I wrote it. It’s such an apt introduction. It’s only my first kink meme fill (!!), but all the mo-esque elements are in there. I showed up to the kink meme like, “this is what I’m about”, and then wrote like 20 more angsty fights lol.
"Fuck, Stu," John moans, and Paul feels everything inside himself go dead.
John stops moving, instantly. It’s so fucking conspicuous that Paul feels it like a pinch, building pressure behind his eyes. John said it. Paul knows John said it because Paul heard him say it, but John’s stopped moving too, so he knows he said it. He said it, and now he’s not saying anything else. He’s left it hanging over Paul like a noose.
“Get off,” Paul says. It’s a plea, really, though he hopes it doesn’t sound like a plea.
John’s still wrapped all around him. Paul can feel his nose poking into his neck. He can feel his own pulse bouncing off John’s skin, and it sounds like his own voice. It sounds like stupid, stupid, stupid, and Paul really can’t be here anymore. He can feel the panic building in his veins. He feels some sort of animal instinct take over; caught in a trap—nervy, and scared—and liable to bite at any approach. If he has to spend another second with John touching him he thinks he might bite John’s skin off.
He yanks John’s body away from him, rough and desperate, and flees to the bathroom, gathering his clothes as he goes.
He can’t stop moving—pacing in front of the bathtub, forwards and back, as he stumbles into his underwear, and tries to shoves his arms through his half inside-out sleeves, still feeling too fucking naked, like an idiot. Letting John see him naked. Letting John just touch him like that, moaning for him, moaning out his name.
His name.
And he still hasn’t gotten his arm through his bloody sleeve, fuck.
Paul punches his hand through the knot of fabric. His fury only makes him feel like a useless child, so he curls himself down on the floor to sit still, sinking his face in his hands as he huffs out his frustrations. Except—being still gives him a moment to think about it.
Discomfort rises up his spine, sparking all the latent humiliation of being 19 and dismissed. It’s all so fucking embarrassing. He’s toured further than he’d ever imagined going, and he’s written multiple number one songs, and Stuart’s dead.
They don’t even really talk about him, anymore. He doesn’t even think about him, anymore. Sometimes, when he does, he feels guilty for not thinking about him. For treating him so unforgiving, when hindsight proved him to have been a bit of an insecure cunt about the whole thing.
Except, he’s not, is he? Not if John’s been thinking about Stuart while Paul had a hand wrapped around his cock.
An honest mistake, Paul thinks bitterly. One bassist hand for another. And fury washes over him again, at that, because it’s not like Stuart even put in enough of an effort to have bassist hands, so Paul’s a poor fucking substitute, in that regard.
If that’s what he is.
Paul feels it, again—that pressure behind his eyes.
Is that what he is?
“Paul?” he hears John call softly, from the other side of the door.
The panic from earlier comes with him, coiling tight in Paul’s shoulders. John doesn’t say anything else, and Paul can’t guess at what he might do. He has an image in his head of John opening the door, smirking down at him, cruel and sharp. Laughing at Paul for believing in him for so long.
There’s a rational part of himself that knows John wouldn’t do that. But he used to think he was the only person John’d ever shown this part of himself to—and, evidently, he isn’t—so what the fuck does he know?
Unease bubbles up his throat, forcing him to swallow the thick lump of it down.
“Paul?” John says again, and this time it’s followed by the sound of the door swinging open.
Paul looks up. John stands there, looking skinny and flushed with nothing but his flagging hard-on, and his underwear. For a moment, Paul forgets. John’s thighs are beautiful, and his rumpled bedhead is charming, and Paul still likes seeing him like this as much as he did when he was 20, and stupid, and the only boy in the world John had ever dared to touch. The only boy that mattered that much to him.
Paul feels a seething contempt for himself—bitter in the back of his throat.
“What?” he snaps.
John blinks, as if he didn’t come in with a plan, which only makes Paul hate him more, because John wouldn’t need a plan if it was as simple as I didn’t mean it, but John hasn’t fucking said that yet.
“It wasn’t—” John starts. “I was only thinking about—”
Paul’s anger cools into something else—distant and savage.
“Oh, were you?”
John squirms, clearly annoyed with Paul’s reaction. Not obtuse or demure enough for whatever sorry excuse he had. Paul wonders if John always thought Paul was that easy, or if it’s just that Paul never thought to question John’s motives before. Well, that would make him that easy, wouldn’t it? An easy little fool, he was.
“I was thinking of Hamburg. It wasn’t like that,” John tries—patronising. Like he talks to Cyn, sometimes. It tastes acidic on Paul’s tongue.
“That boring, was I?” Paul says.
“Obviously not,” John protests, weakly, waving a hand to his prick, as if that’s supposed to be a compliment. As if Paul hasn’t seen him get off with girls he barely even liked, a hundred times before.
It’s so bloody tactless, it has Paul blurting out: “Would Stuart have taken care of that for you?”
John blinks at him, surprised. “What?”
Whatever defense mechanism was keeping Paul feeling dead inside falters, his anger starting to simmer up again.
“Did you do this with him?” Paul asks.
John just keeps fucking blinking at him, like he can’t comprehend anything Paul’s said. Caught red-handed in whatever lark he and Stuart set up for Paul.
Paul can see them in his head—in that dingy, little flat on Gambier Terrace, on that shared fucking mattress. The way they’d laugh together, sometimes, when they talked about art, and left Paul out of it, as if Paul couldn’t understand just because he wasn’t in art school, and he was only a kid.
If John tries to lie to him Paul thinks he might actually punch him.
John only shrugs.
“Was it better?” Paul goads him, something nasty forcing him to spit it out. Forcing him to make John admit it. Just fucking tell him it was all a joke.
John frowns. “What?”
“With him, John.”
John looks away. Retreating. “Christ, the lad's already dead. Isn’t the jealousy getting a bit old?”
Jealousy. Like that’s all it was—petty, teenage jealousy. Like John didn’t spend years making Paul think it was real. “Are you serious?”
“Are you?” John snaps back.
“Must’ve been good, no? If you're still thinking about it,” Paul shoots at him.
“I was thinking of you,” John all but shouts. And that’s really beyond the threshold of what Paul can take.
“Oh, fuck off!”
He storms out, feeling wired and claustrophobic, trapped in the oppressive little bathroom with John insulting him to his face, like Paul’s too thick to know better.
He’s aware as he stands there, fuming, that he’s still barely dressed, and tries to button himself up—tries to insert some goddamn dignity into the situation—but he can feel John getting all fired up next to him, and he doesn’t want to bloody do it anymore. There’s no point. The ruse is up. Paul gets it now.
“He said you didn’t, you know.”
Whatever words were hanging on the tip of John’s tongue, die there. His mouth snaps shut, and he stares at Paul, looking confused and startled. Like he wasn’t expecting it. It only fuels Paul’s contempt.
It was one of those days: John and Stuart in Gambier Terrace, excluding him.
Paul had been trying to coax John into playing a bit, and John was sick of Paul pestering him about it so he’d hissed something cruel and stormed off, leaving Paul alone with Stuart, stewing in his own humiliation. Made all the worse by the look Stuart had thrown him, after John left—like he felt sorry for him.
Stuart said: “Just give him some breathing room, yeah? You know what he’s like.”
It irritated Paul so much, he’d spat out, “What do you care? You get to wank each other off about art more, now. Isn’t that what you want?”
And Stuart turned even more fucking sympathetic, like he could see the thing Paul really wanted—that embarrassing, forbidden thing Paul barely even let himself look at—and he said, “You don’t have to worry about that, you know.”
“I’m not worried,” Paul protested, feeling seen and ashamed for it. “I’m not a bloody poof. You can blow him all you like. I just— I only want the group to—”
But he could feel his voice shaking, and his cheeks burning, fire-hot, and Stuart kept looking at him like he wanted to give Paul a pat on the head or something, and all Paul could think about was how badly he wanted to shove him into the wall and smash the look off his smug fucking face.
“It’s really not like that,” Stuart said, kindly.
“I don’t fucking care, mate,” Paul snapped, caring a lot and hating himself for it.
“I swear. We never, mate,” Stuart promised, annoyed with Paul, but clearly not letting it put him off this mortifying conversation.
And just as Paul was about to tell him again how much he didn’t fucking care what Stuard and John did together, Stuart said, “It’s not like with you two. We never needed each other like that.”
It had cut through the anger. Reached deep into something vulnerable and terrified inside Paul and soothed it, despite how much Paul didn’t want it to. Paul wanted to dismiss it—pretend like it didn’t matter as much as it did—but he couldn’t get the words out. And in the end, all he’d ended up saying was, “Yeah?”
Like a fucking imbecile.
“Looked me in the eye and said: ‘Never, mate. Didn't need each other like that,’” Paul continues, trying to figure out what the problem is with his fucking shirt, and realising he’s missed a button, because of course he did. Because this is how inadequate he is, clearly.
Paul blows out an angry sigh through his nose.
“Fucking Stuart.”
“It stopped before you, if you want to be so fucking precious about it,” John says—all attempts at placation gone, apparently.
“Right around when he found Astrid, was it?” Paul shoots back.
As if that’s supposed to make him feel better—being the second choice, after Stuart fell in love. A convenient little consolation prize. Paul wonders, acidly, if John would’ve ever cared for him at all had Stuart not gone and bloody died on him.
“What do you care? You had every bird in Hamburg, in the meantime,” John says.
“That’s different!”
“How?” John snaps, stepping closer towards Paul. “What—you can have me, but he can’t? I’m not a fucking monk outside of you.”
Paul can feels his eyes—sharp and intent—and he can’t do it. He can’t stand here and explain to John that while John saw him as the second-best available mouth to suck his cock, Paul had spent the entire time feeling. That Paul gave something up to John that he’d thought John had given back.
Paul swallows. “Fuck off, John. Honestly,” he spits, and shoves past him, back to the safety of the John-less bathroom.
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one-paper-bag · 7 months
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suffering delusions of grandeur (daydreaming about seeing operation mincemeat live)
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thereadingmoon · 1 year
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I listened to the audiobook of demon copperhead in between reading it and we were ROBBED of angus’ accent. she was literally teased for it in college!! dead sad that most of the women in the book couldn’t have the accents their male counterparts had ;-;
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pastafossa · 1 year
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Don’t you think you’re being dramatic? I just saw your post about the “plagiarist”, there was one line of plagiarised dialogue.. The other thing looked completely unintentional and coincidental. Do you *own* a medical product smelling like honey? I enjoy reading TRT and your other works but this seems a little intense..? Sending fans and friends to harass someone over one line of dialogue.. yikes.
Not particularly. Why you use quotes for 'plagiarist' I'm not sure of, since you admit they plagiarized dialogue. I'd honestly have completely written off the honey as a coincidence if that dialogue line hadn't been stolen, and there are plenty of fics around the fandom and ship I'm fine with even if there are some some similarities like that. But when you add in the stolen dialogue it's a lot more suspicious, especially when the honey elements are happening in the exact same way the last plagiarist took details from my fic.
Maybe it is intense. I don't know. I know I hate having to post about it. I know I hate having to run this gauntlet with my anxiety. I know I'm very careful even when discussing divisive fandom shit to not do anything that might get someone a mob of people sent after them, which is why outside plagiarism stuff I keep my blog pretty drama free. I know I get a sick feeling in my stomach when I wake up, again, to asks in my box and messages from friends telling me they found another fic that's plagiarized my stuff. I know I don't like any of this and all I want to do is write, and yet I'm having to deal with this again. Cause if you've been around my blog and following TRT then you know I've had my stuff plagiarized multiple times, including by a repeat plagiarist who stole not just dialogue and characters but also literal elements of my life (a person who has refused to leave me alone, and also refused to take their stuff down until other people pressured them to). Even before that, TRT has been plagiarized multiple times and I've had to get Wattpad and AO3 involved when my requests for takedown were either ignored or waved off using the exact phrase this last person did - 'I didn't think it was a big deal'. I've never once been able to get anyone to take their stuff down until others got involved. I've also tried leaving it alone, and it always escalates. In the past when I tried to talk privately, I've been repeatedly ignored or had it minimized. I am tired. So yeah, I did the only thing I've found that works when I know there's plagiarism and I don't want it to keep happening or escalating - I asked for pressure without hate comments to get the content to come down, because at this point I've had to do this three times in about three months and I'm kinda at the end of my rope. Because it's not just one line of dialogue, even though that would be enough - even though no amount of plagiarism is ok. But it's also about this time, and the last time, and the time before that, and before and before and before. This is a pattern of people thinking this is ok, thinking it's not a big deal to take unique dialogue or characters or backstories that fic writers are already trying to give everyone for free. And I really, really don't think it's too much to ask that other fic writers respect that.
I literally just want it to stop.
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endawn · 5 days
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ark..ay cleanse me , sten..darr have mercy and father akat..osh…forgive me.
- dialogue when engaging the elder brain
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