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chaoticvictorianspirit · 9 months

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Actually, I like codependency in fiction. Let people love each other exactly in the way they long for and need. Just because they are capable of functioning seperately doesn't mean they have to when all they want to do is spend their days together and share the tiny blip of existence they have left with one another. And I'm sorry but I'm tired of screenwriters pretending that learning to be miserable on your own is somehow a superior story arch as well as a moral virtue somehow. Maybe you want realism in your fiction but I for one want my comfort characters to morph into a singular entity. I want to treat them the way I did gummy bears as a child and just leave them out in the sun until they melt together into one solid block of sweetness. Reality is already depressing enough. Friendships end. Love fades. Life gets in the way and seperates people who aren't ready for their journey together to be over yet. Loved ones leave us all the time and sometimes there's no good explanation and it's unfair and painful and too often there's nothing you can do about it. And sometimes the one person you wish you could talk about it with the most is the one that's leaving and it fucking sucks. [And I get that this is precisely why we need these themes in fiction to confront these feeling and cope with them in a setting removed from reality but that's not what this post is about damn it.] I just wish this weren't the only angle we got. I wish we also got the "easy" happy endings, the unrealistic friendships, the kind of closeness that isn't portrayed as weighing you down but rather lifting you up. I wish fairytales weren't only for children and I wish adults didn't take such pride in forgetting they were children once, too. Can't we at least have the nice things in our little made up worlds?

TL;DR: Girls should get to have their little escapist delusions. As a treat.

#was this prompted by a fucking buddy comedy show about two guys bitching at each other over zoom? well #staged finale really poked some Painful places #not saying the episode itself should go differently btw it fit the show and the pandemic setting very well #like it was actually an amazing piece of writing and performance and the ending was symbolic and bittersweet and very true to many people's #actual experience at the end of the pandemic. it was glorious and good. but I'm also depressed about it. and this is my post to cope so...#I'm just very emotional at the moment and Sayning Things. don't expect me to fully Mean them too.#there's a much bigger narrative and a more nuanced take here but I don't feel like writing it atm. this post is about found families and #platonic soulmates and life partners in fiction getting to stay together and about not being forced to move on when the people involved #don't want to move on and don't need to move on. this post is about comfort and that's enough. please don't expect me to be eloquent today #staged #found family #platonic soulmates #and yes this is also very much about stranger things okay I am not rid of my other demons yet

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theoptimisticdaydreamer · 1 year

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It is rare that the ending is the most aggravating part of the drama. Love to Hate You did exactly this. I flew through this show in a matter of days and loved so much about it. I love the honest communication between the FL and ML, the lack of a love triangle, the chemistry between the FL and the ML, not dragging out any storylines, the bromance between the ML and the 2ML, and the hilarious older actress character Soo-jin. I was not expecting the ridiculous shenanigans of the final episode. The only thing that saved the final episode was the fact that they got back together and there is a happy ending. Everything leading up to that point made me want to tear my hair out.

This has definitely turned into a comfort romance drama that I will happily rewatch. Except fast forward through the entire 10th episode until the end because it is stupid.

~~~Rant Incoming~~~

I had such high hopes in the beginning because after the reveal that FL had a colorful dating past, the FL and the ML decided to date in secret and lie that they had broken up. Woo- don’t let the rest of the world decide your relationship when you are happily together. Now, in the year of 2023 and the fact that in real-life actors have successfully dated in secret for MONTHS, if not YEARS, and that at this point the ML is an established actor and the FL is a successful lawyer...their actions after this decision make no freaking sense. When you are dating in secret, and your “break-up” is fresh public gossip, YOU DO NOT GO TO EAT IN A CROWDED RESTAURANT. YOU DO NOT GO OUT FOR KARAOKE.

THEY SHOULD KNOW HOW TO BE FREAKING DISCREET.

If they had flown under the radar for a couple of months, it would have all worked itself out. Its not like they couldn’t have a dating life together in private for heaven’s sake. He has a second house and a car (though really should get a second car that is not bright blue and more discreet). There could be dates on the beach, in the park, in SECLUDED LOCATIONS. They could go out to eat in restaurants in rural towns run by people who don’t give a damn that he is a popular actor. But nooooooooooooooo.

The FL runs into the rabid mob otherwise known as the ML’s “fans”. The audacity of these bitches. I despised them the entire season and wring their necks in the final episode. Get a life already.

Then he holds a press conference. He states directly that he shouldn’t stop living his life just to please his fans. He proposes (!!!) to her during this press conference. This also gave me a lot of confidence that they were going to do away with the break-up-for-stupid-reasons troupe. Honestly, this would have worked. If you draw from present-day reality, it is a growing trend where popular actors/celebrities/idols write letters to their fans that straight up say I’m getting married, having a baby and I’m very happy. And there is support for them. Support from people who know where to draw the line in their love for a famous person. And once the support for his relationship changes enough in the public eye, the brands will also cave. It would have worked.

Until the FL, in the second burst of stupidity this entire show (the first being that she believed he was dating an minor based on one scene only and running with it and not stopping to fact check whatsoever), decides to BREAK UP WITH HIM during this live broadcast press conference. What is frustrating is up until this point, they TALKED TO ONE ANOTHER before making decisons that impacted the both of us. Yet all of a sudden, she is making this huge decision for the both of them, NEVER TALKING TO HIM ABOUT IT BEFOREHAND, acting like its the best for the both of them (she can’t possibly know this). She didn’t give him A CHOICE. Also the fact that this was not done privately really rubs me wrong. Also, SHE NEVER APOLOGIZES FOR THIS. Even when they get back together, she never admits any freaking fault in breaking them up in the first place- not making decisions for the both of them, not essentially discarding him and blindsiding him with the breakup (which is exactly what his first love did which was the source of all of his relationship trauma).

It is so incredibly stupid. SO FUCKING STUPID.

And then she doesn’t talk to him for a month?! What!

It also really bothers me when she never answers him when he asks her “circumstances can always change, so what’s different now, what changed”. Because if this happens again, what will be her response? Will she act rashly without talking things out with him? Will she assume that she knows whats best for the both of them but actually foolishly break both of their hearts in the process? Circumstances changed with his first love and that lead her to reporting him as a stalker out of fear of what being in a relationship would do to her image. I’m not saying that the FL is going to report the ML for stalking but she has not proven that she is anything but a fair-weather lover. When the going gets tough, she gets gone (WHICH IS CONTRARY TO HER ENTIRE CHARACTER).

Their reconciliation conversation is honestly one-sided when it shouldn’t be. She asks him why he’s here then if he’s going to break up with her because he didn’t need to do that in person. That makes no fucking sense because she literally broke up with him during the press conference. They were no longer together after that. That’s how breakups work (especially with the added humiliation of being broken up with on live TV after proposing to someone). He rightfully points out that she was the one who closed their chapter. She then says nothing else and he says everything. She is the one who should be doing all the talking.

SHE NEVER TAKES ANY ACCOUNTABILITY FOR HER WRONGS NOR SAYS ANYTHING THAT SHOWS THAT HER FEELINGS FOR HIM ARE STRONGER NOW AND SHE IS NO LONGER AS EASILY SHAKEN.

When he pushes her to give him answers (which he wholeheartedly deserves). She either says nothing, acts like a SIMPERING WOUNDED RABBIT, or AS IF ITS HIS FAULT (when she punches him for “being mean” I wanted to whack her with a newspaper-- she caused more emotional damage hands down). The nerve.

If you are going to write the breakup to be so nonsensical, you should have the respect for the ML and the FL and their relationship up until that point to write the reconciliation BETTER. She should have apologized and given an indication that things will be different and I die on that hill.

Also for her to be so proud of it later is insulting honestly.

Their reconciliation hug was very sweet (all of their affectionate scenes were) but that came down to the actor’s chemistry and physical acting and had little to do with the script itself.

What was also against her character was how the guys at the law firm had to “save” her public image. I’m surprised she didn’t defend herself considering she is headstrong and violence-prone in literally every other aspect of her life. It was nice though that they came to her defense and supported her in the sense that they had her back after beginning the season being wary and distrustful of her. I wish it would have happened a different way is all- one where she sticks up for herself first.

The romance between the 2FL and the 2ML was forced and annoying. They possess absolutely no chemistry and I would have prefered more scenes of the ML and the FL. The 2FL grated on my nerves more and more as the season went on (so freaking shallow and romance obsessed with nothing else to her character) and by the end, I wanted to reach in and drag her off the screen. Also, that public girlfriend-proposal was so uncomfortable to watch. I don’t know how he thought that was a good idea but I can guarantee you that at least 75% of women on this planet (which is a high enough % to freaking STOP) don’t like public proposals (especially featuring complete strangers).The feeling of public pressure and scrutiny is unbearable. She was visibly uncomfortable and he’s was like where is my answer. There was no convincing conversation before hand. Based off of the conversations they have had up until this point, absolutely nothing screams relationship ready. To be honest, the 2FL needed to find joy in her own company first.

I am happy that they didn’t forget about Choi Soo-jin considering that was the entire reason the FL got hired in the first place. I am glad that after 10 episodes we can see her successfully finish her job for her first client.

Final critique (that applies to the whole show in general), is that I am not a big fan of the overuse of alcohol. Yes, I get that drinking is a big part of Korean culture but it was completely unnecessary to exist to the extent it did in this show. Alcohol should not be necessary alongside every single social interaction. You can have a good time without alcohol. You don’t need to turn towards alcohol every single time you are sad. Can the media stop showcasing people self-soothing with alcohol? It implies that alcohol is necessary when it really isn’t.

All in all, a surprisingly enjoyable romantic comedy that delivered on both the romance and the comedy. Just think that the entire 10th episode could have been rewritten to do the characters and the storyline justice.

#love to hate you kdrama #love to hate you #comfort rom com drama #except through the entire final episode away #and rewrite it because wtf was that #contrary to their characters and their relationship up until that point #devoted to one another and communicated honestly with one another until she didn't #FL headstrong about everything until all of a sudden she wasn;t #the FL shouldn't have become a fair-weather lover #not a big fan of the lack of her accountability for emotional damage #APOLOGIZE #but their chemistry was AMAZING #10 out of 10 #yoo teo #kim ok bin #thank you for the lack of love triangles #and unnecessary painful relationship drama #until the aforementioned last episode which we will forget exists in its entirety thank you #easy enjoyable watch

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