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manykinsmen · 3 months

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i want to talk a little bit about why i think the way nico rosberg is maligned by the world of f1 has a great deal to do with gender, sexuality and queerness. this isn't to say that nico isn't heterosexual and cisgender. we have no reason not to take him at his word in this regard; he understands himself best. what it is to say is that nico rosberg's presence threatens the way in which gender and sexuality is constructed in the wider world of f1, which has ramifications for both individuals within f1 and f1 as an institution.

so we have to talk, therefore, about the "platonic ideal" if you will, of an f1 driver. we all know, that except the bubbles of f1blr and f1tiktok, which fall into more of a "fandom" concept, and are therefore necessarily the domain of women and queer people, motorsports as a whole is a hyper-masculine pursuit as both a participant and a spectator, as is the case with most sports. we might therefore, gravitate towards thinking of this platonic ideal as some kind of super-jacked mega-sports guy. we do have to alter this a little to account for the specifics of f1, which prefers a smaller build, though still muscular, to complement the car. f1 has also long cultivated an aura of elegance to set itself apart from other motorsports series like NASCAR. this is not a diesel-huffing crowd, this is a champagne on yachts crowd. our faves all come out somewhere on the classic hollywood leading man to meterosexual sliding scale. i would volunteer charles leclerc as the best example of this platonic ideal in recent memory. the evidence of this? the amount of "traditional" f1 fans (i.e. men who watch the races and do not engage in fandom) professing an obsession with him.

where does nico fit in in relation to this platonic ideal? on paper, he seems pretty damn close. he's also got a slighter, lither build and also has always carried around an aura of elegance. he was even born and raised in monaco, like charles, whatever his passport says. there's a whole sub-essay i could write on the way that, in so many ways, both within and outside fandom, charles has picked up nico's baton, occupies the space he vacated, but we'll save that post for another day. so if nico is so close to the platonic ideal, why then is he not more celebrated? why then is he regarded with such suspicion? well, we can't micro-analyse his physical features, or pinpoint the source of the feelings he generates in others. not only would this be an exercise in futility, it would also be remarkably close to an exercise in anti-queer eugenics. the answer is that, for whatever reason, the feelings he generates in the traditional, heterosexual, cisgender male audience and participants of f1 are different to the feelings that charles generates.

let's analyse. they're both openly acknowledged to be/have been beautiful, but what's the difference here? well, charles presents in a subtly more masculine way. his haircuts have, since he reached adulthood, typically been shorter and he usually sports some degree of facial hair. nico's hair is often best described as long, for a man, and he's always clean-shaven. charles is also much more gender-conforming in his fashion choices, and more conservative (even when he makes poor choices), whereas nico's fashion choices (especially since leaving f1) are typically much more considered, "put together", and he takes bigger risks with patterns, colours and cuts. he also often carries a bag, which is associated with femininity. it's subtle, but on some occasions we could even make an argument that nico is gender-nonconforming in his fashion choices, at least within a hypermasculine sphere.

why does the way in which they dress and groom themselves matter so much? it's a huge part of how we signal gender and sexuality. susan sontag's notes on "camp" explains this in great detail. camp fashion emerged during the time in which homosexuality was illegal and therefore couldn't be announced publicly. instead it had to be signified somehow. this was achieved through a combination of fashion and mannerisms. camp, then, is even when performed by cisgender heterosexuals, inextricably and viscerally linked to queerness, particularly the queerness of amab individuals. this is because, later, "butch", which achieved the same results by travelling the opposite direction was separated from camp as its own entity. it is therefore a deviation from expected masculinity, and proximate to femininity. in a hypermasculine sphere, the threshold at which camp emerges is much weaker. nico rosberg presents camp. charles leclerc manages to avoid doing so. (side note, since nico retired, lewis hamilton has become much more daring in his own choices and is also finding himself flaunting gender presentation norms in f1. interesting, wouldn't you say?)

but this isn't the only way that nico rosberg has developed an association with queerness. the second way is entirely out of his control - it's the uncomfortable attraction of other men to nico rosberg. again, lets compare nico and charles. whilst plenty of people, fans or those who work in f1, are happy to admit that charles is "handsome", or even "beautiful", the word "pretty" is reserved (again, excepting in fandom spheres) for nico. why is this important? well, charles represents a male fantasy. men want to /be/ charles. even when a few cis-het male fans go as far as to say they have a "man crush" on charles or would make an exception to their heterosexuality for him, it's not a real suggestion. why? well, when these cis-het men say they would sleep with charles, what they mean is that they have mentally attempted to put themselves in the shoes of someone who is attracted to men and then found what they believe to be the best example of a man. charles is the platonic ideal of an f1 driver, he is therefore maximally fuckable, assuming one is attracted to men. for these men, saying that they would fuck charles is the end result of a thought experiment. what they are really saying, in quite a masturbatory fashion, is that they would like to be charles and fuck people.

nico rosberg, however, brings uncomfortable tangibility to this thought experiment. we've already established that nico has an association with femininity and femaleness that charles simply does not. for a heterosexual man, a feminine person is the typical subject of their attractions. nico expresses himself, both in fashion and mannerism, in a similar way to the women that are the object of many heterosexual men's desires. "pretty" is a word that is reserved by heterosexual men for women, and yet, it is/was routinely used about nico rosberg. a small case study in this is jenson button. by his own admission, jenson button had a psychosexual fascination with britney spears. what nickname did he immediately pick up for nico rosberg? britney. (note, i am aware that mark webber is the origin of this nickname, but jenson really took the baton and ran with it out of a few options). not only does this double down on nico's proximity to femininity, it also highlights jenson button's attraction. he doesn't just give him the name of any woman, but the woman he, self-admittedly, desires the most. jenson might be the most flagrant example, but he's not the only one. giving rapid one-word responses to drivers, mark webber gives nico as "pretty". another nickname that emerges for nico is "princess" - again, associated with not only femininity but highly desirable femininity.

so then is it all a big gay panic? while that certainly doesn't help and causes fractious relationships on an individual level. it's actually not the only problem nico rosberg's gender expression poses. to understand the other problem, we have to talk about the entrenched misogyny of f1. the platonic ideal of an f1 driver is, always has been, and will likely continue to be for a very long time, a man. a particular kind of man, as we have understood, but nevertheless, a man who manages, despite the preference for a smaller build and elegance, to skirt around the edges of femininity without touching it. nico rosberg is too close to femininity and worst of all, he is a champion.

one of the most curious things about women in formula 1, is that they are perpetually forgotten. even long-time fans of the sport, are often surprised to discover that there have been five female f1 drivers. it's a truly stunning display of repressed memory. even then, women in the world of f1 are necessarily "butch", simply for their presence within it. with a very small pool of exceptions, to participate seriously in sport as a woman is to be masculinised, voluntarily or otherwise. this is to say nothing of the over-representation of women loving women or women who by personal preference present more butch in sport. even though f1 represses its women as a traumatic memory, when women enter its sphere, they are masculinised, the sport is not feminised, well at least as long as they remain minor players.

nico rosberg's championship immortalises him in the annals of f1. by the rules that they have put in place, he cannot be repressed in the same way that the memory of lella lombardi or maria teresa di fillipis or even mike beuttler (a driver revealed to be gay after his retirement who subsequently died during the AIDS epidemic) can be. the role of champion is meant to be fulfilled by the platonic ideal of an f1 driver (side note, we can read into charles's title of "il predestino" quite a bit here). if it isn't, then it necessarily shifts the platonic ideal and therefore the identity of f1. nico rosberg's championship win represents not just a crisis of sexuality, but a crisis of identity across the entire sport, all of which is tied up in gender presentation. when nico rosberg won, the sport got camper, and it hated that.

to make matters worse, by immediately announcing his retirement for the express purpose of spending time with his wife and then newborn daughter (since then, he has had a second daughter), rather than shrugging off his associations with femininity by leaning into having a title and taking off in pursuit of more, nico doubled down on this. proximity to children, especially day to day, is another thing that typically falls into the domain of femininity, although we are beginning to dismantle this a little bit in the 21st century. however, f1 remains a hyper-masculine space in which its participants are expected, or even demanded, to spend large quantities of time away from any children that they might have. there are no accommodations made for parents on the grid. despite nico's decision to retire, when we reflect upon it, being highly understandable, its associations with femininity add to the impulse to call the decision "cowardly". it is an emasculating decision, and therefore incomprehensible to the hyper-masculine world of f1.

following his retirement, nico's campness only increases. i might speculate here, that part of this is the lifting of pressure to present in a way that people surrounding him in f1 are more comfortable with - you can see that his outfits when he is doing punditry for sky, for example, are much more conservative. nico has been open about not liking who he was when he was putting in serious bids for the f1 championship, and pressures to behave in a more masculine fashion might have formed part of that. likewise, nico goes out of his way to emphasise his relationship and closeness to women and femininity, branding himself as a "girl dad" (we could compare here to kevin magnussen, who is also the father of two daughters whom he clearly cares about very deeply, but hasn't, to my knowledge, referred to himself as a "girl dad". when we consider nico's behaviours post-retirement to be "cringe" we might then want to interrogate which behaviours, exactly, we mean. "cringe" very frequently, is a disguise that misogyny and homophobia wears to be let back into he building.

how does the world of f1 react to this? by attempting to repress nico rosberg. mercedes fails to mention and credit their only other champion besides lewis hamilton, even in the same breath in which they claim closeness and proximity to michael schumacher. fans undermine the validity of his win by implying it was merely the culmination of lewis hamilton's bad luck with regards to car reliability, which not only undermines nico's achievement but so to lewis's (to be truly the best, one must triumph over greatness and skill, not untalented hacks, as many would you have believe). new fans of the sport are often shocked to discover that nico rosberg is in fact a world champion, even though only two drivers have won the title since him, and only one new driver. where nico can't be erased, he is cast in the role of the villain, the way disney villains almost always carry an association with camp and gender nonconformity.

what's the conclusion then? well, it's perhaps not the entire picture of why nico rosberg is so maligned, but gender identity and sexuality are definitely something to think about here. the way he challenges the very strict gender role an f1 driver, and especially a wold champion, is expected to perform is incredibly uncomfortable to both the institution of f1 and individuals operating within it (as fans, or as participants). and maybe, just maybe, we should interrogate the concept of "cringe", which is often used as a to beat those that challenge our expectations in these areas.

#nico rosberg #charles leclerc #f1 #queer theory #feminism #jenson button

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chocochipbiscuit · 11 months

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Fic (and nonfic!) Recs for Pride!

In honor of Pride, have some of my favorite F/F and F/NB reads!

Short stories (available online)

Radcliffe Hall by Miyuki Jane Pinckard - 40k word novella, with a Japanese student attending an American women's college in 1908. It's a Gothic novel with the characters encountering the supernatural, which is no less malevolent than systemic racism and homophobia.

The First Stop Is Always the Last by John Wiswell - Short and sweet time loop flirtation!

Scallop by J.L. Akagi - A woman begins growing eyes all over her body, and struggles to hide them. All the warnings for body horror, eye injury, and referenced sexual assault.

The World Ends in Salty Fingers and Sugared Lips by Jen Reese - Time loop story about the end of the world and the ways we try to deal with the crushing uncertainty of the inevitable.

Romance

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston - Subway time travel romance! August moves to New York and meets Jane, a butch punk from the 70s who’s trapped on the subway. It’s warm and sweet and funny, with all the feels and queer found family goodness.

Fatal Fidelity by Rien Gray - Dark romance/erotic suspense featuring a bi femme fatale and a nonbinary assassin! The series begins with Love Kills Twice, in which Justine hires an assassin to get rid of her abusive husband…unaware that Campbell was also hired to kill her. Absolutely delicious.

Feminine Pursuits series by Olivia Waite - While I’m listing it as a series, each novel is entirely stand-alone! These are a set of historical F/F novels featuring women in arts and science (and beekeeping!) making their way and falling in love with one another!

Mrs. Martin’s Incomparable Adventure by Courtney Milan - Historical romance as two older women (73 and 69 years old, respectively!) plot the downfall of an absolutely Terrible Nephew who deserves everything that happens to him. An absolutely delicious comedic romp.

The Cybernetic Tea Shop by Meredith Katz - An AI repair technician and an autonomous robot who runs a small tea shop, set in a retro-futuristic America. It’s warm and gentle and yearning in very good ways.

Horror/Suspense

Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin - Gender apocalypse featuring trans women! A virus has turned anyone with over a certain level of testosterone into cannibal rape monsters, so we’re following our trans protagonists as they try to survive feral men, murderous TERFs, and a sociopathic bunker brat. This deserves a LOT of content warnings but it’s also been blurbed as a ‘bleeding love letter to trans women’ and it really is.

Blackwater Sister by Zen Cho - A Malaysian-American lesbian moves to Malaysia with her family, where she is haunted by her grandmother’s ghost. Her grandmother is out for supernatural revenge, involving our protagonist with gangsters and a terrifying goddess.

Fingersmith by Sarah Waters - Historical crime novel in which a thief poses as a lady’s maid for a con, and ends up developing feelings for the mark. Except the lady’s not as innocent as she seems, and it’s difficult to add more without spoiling the novel but it’s good!

Science fiction

A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine - Ambassador Mahit Dzmare travels to the capital of the interstellar Teixcalaanli Empire, discovers that her predecessor has died, and must find not only who murdered him, but why—while trying not to get murdered herself, and trying to maintain her small station’s independence from Teixcalaan’s ever-expanding empire. And there is a sequel but that has its own plot and requires you to read this one anyway!

Passing Strange by Ellen Klages - Set in San Francisco, built on artifice and delight as we follow a group of queer women both present and in the 1940s. Central story is a romance, two women trying to navigate both joy and the brutality of the worlds they inhabit.

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone - An epistolary love story across time and space, in far futures and alternative pasts as two rival agents—post-singularity Red and bio-consciousness Blue—foil and thwart one another.

Fantasy

The Burning Kingdoms by Tasha Suri - Indian-inspired fantasy trilogy (third book coming in 2024!) that follows a captive princess and a maidservant with forbidden magic who navigate the the tension between their different loyalties and the politics of empire. Just! So good!

The Kingston Cycle by C.L. Polk - A fantasy trilogy (that’s actually complete!) set in a world where witches are persecuted and placed in asylums…while secretly, the witches of elite families use that power in service of the crown. The first book (Witchmark) starts with a murder mystery and a doctor with PTSD who follows that mystery to government secrets that force him to confront his estranged family. It’s also M/M, but the sequels (Stormsong and Soulstar) center around F/F and F/NB main pairings, respectively.

The Locked Tomb by Tamsyn Muir - The first book starts with swordjock butches and lesbian necromancers in space going through (essentially) a haunted mansion together, and it just keeps going after that! It’s delightful, deranged, and full of fantastic characters I want to gnaw on!

When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain by Nghi Vo - A beautiful frame story with a very fairytale feel, where the cleric Chih is telling the story of a tiger and her lover, a female scholar, to a trio of hungry tigers who threaten to eat them if Chih tells the story incorrectly!

A Master of Djinn by P. Djeli Clark - Mystery and magic and suspense in a steampunk Cairo, set forty years after magic returned to the world! The first female agent for the Ministry of Alchemy, Enchantments, and Supernatural Entities is assigned to discover who murdered members of a secret cult. In addition to solving the case, she’s also assigned a rookie partner to train, and navigating the surprise return of her girlfriend, who has her own secrets! This is a really fun romp, full of joy and wonder. (And Fatma’s fabulous suits!)

Nonfiction

In the Dream House by Carmen Machado - A memoir about surviving domestic abuse, with each chapter using a different trope or genre convention to not only explore the way the relationship affected her sense of self, but also about trying (or failing) to find that representation in cultural history. It’s a rough read in places, but absolutely worth it if you’re in a space to handle that sort of content. (And in case it’s not obvious: her ex was another woman. Abuse isn’t limited by gender.)

#pride #book recs #story recs #f/f #f/nb #genre fiction #I wanted to keep this list short'n punchy but if you have questions or want to know about content warnings hmu!

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sofiaispunk · 11 months

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Hot priest Morales. Thats it. that's the request

btw love your dbf series!

Sacred Temptations

pairings: priest!Francisco Morales x Reader AU

a/n: Thank you so much, beautiful! fuck YESSS hot priest Morales is making me feel all kind of things rn. I immediately pictured him as Pedro at the Oscars with his white slutty little buttonup. Thank you for your request! I really appreciate you and I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Let me know what you think and if I should make a part 2 maybe?

words: 2k

warnings: religion, smut, flirting, forbidden romance, bratty reader, blasphemy, inappropriate behavior, 18+

You reluctantly followed your parents' lead as they made their way to the local church for Sunday mass. Your outfit for the day reflected your style and individuality, a short blush dress, which barely covered your body. The dress had delicate ruffles along the hemline, adding a touch of femininity to your attire. You paired it with a light cardigan, casually draped over your shoulders, providing at least a bit modesty.

Throughout your life, you had never been particularly fond of churches. The rigid traditions, the solemn rituals - they had always felt foreign to your free-spirited nature. Sunday mornings were often spent indulging in your own pursuits, watching Netflix, brunching with friends or lazily laying in bed, far removed from the pews and hymns.

However, as you returned from college for the summer, something within you had shifted.

Perhaps it was the newfound sense of maturity or maybe it was the desire to reconnect with your roots and understand your own beliefs better. Whatever the reason, you made a conscious decision to join your parents on their weekly visit to church.

As you entered the church, your eyes scanned the surroundings, taking in the ornate stained glass windows, the flickering candlelight, and the peaceful atmosphere. Amidst the congregation, your gaze fell upon the priest, who stood at the pulpit, preparing to deliver the sermon.

You found yourself momentarily drawn to his presence, observing how he engaged with the congregation, his gestures emphasizing his words, and his voice carrying a soothing tone. His light brown hair, sleekly gelled back, added a touch of refinement to his overall look. However, scattered throughout his hair were subtle streaks of grey, hinting at the wisdom and experience he possessed.

A neatly trimmed, patchy beard adorned his face, accentuating his rugged charm. It framed his jawline, which was sharp and defined, lending him an air of strength and determination. His broad shoulders hinted at physical presence, giving him a commanding stance as he stood before the congregation.

Curiosity gnawing at you, you turned to your mother, who sat beside you , and leaned in to whisper a question. "Mom, who is the new priest? I don't think I've seen him before."

Your mother, engrossed in the beginning of the service, momentarily glanced at you and then followed your gaze toward the young priest. With a warm smile, she whispered back, "That's Father Francisco. He recently joined our parish. He is a lovely man. Father Francisco has been a guiding light for our community. He's been instrumental in organizing outreach programs, helping the less fortunate, and supporting charitable initiatives. The impact he's made on our community is truly inspiring and a true blessing.”

You nodded, taking in your mother's words. The intrigue surrounding Francisco only intensified as you listened to your mother's description.

As the Sunday service progressed, you couldn't help but feel a peculiar sensation, as if you were being watched. You shifted your gaze and found yourself locking eyes with Father Francisco. For a moment, time seemed to stand still as your gazes met, and an unspoken connection seemed to form.

Surprised by the intensity of the eye contact, a familiar heat rose in your core. However, instead of looking away, you felt an unexpected surge of boldness within you. Perhaps it was the curiosity sparked by your doubts, or the desire to seek answers, but you decided to seize the opportunity and act upon this newfound courage.

Determined to engage in a conversation with Father Francisco, you waited until the end of the service when the parishioners started dispersing. As people began to leave the pews, you approached the young priest, your steps deliberate and your mind racing with desire.

With a deep breath, you stood before Father Francisco, and mustered the courage to initiate a conversation.

"Father Francisco," you began, your voice steady and lower as usual. “I was hoping you could spare a moment of your time.”

“Of course, my child. What can I do for you? I believe we have never met before.”

Your eyes sparkled with mischief as you challenged Father Francisco's claim of not seeing you before.

“Father, are you truly suggesting that you haven't laid eyes on me in this sacred space until now? I find that hard to believe. Perhaps I simply didn't catch your attention until today.” you laid it on thick, making sure to flutter your eyelashes innocently.

“My apologies for not giving you the attention you deserve. It seems I'll have to make amends for that oversight. But I assure you, I am honored to make your acquaintance now.” The corners of his mouth curved into a gentle smile, his eyes mirroring the twinkle of your own.

You leaned in in slightly, the playful tone never leaving your voice. “Well, Father, it appears that divine intervention has finally led you to notice my presence. I must say, it's quite flattering to have captured the attention of such a captivating priest.”

“Ah, I don‘t think flattery will get you anywhere. But what is it you wanted to talk to me about, my child?“ he smiled at you, the corner of his eyes crinkling.

“There’s something plaquing my mind lately, something I haven't experienced in a long time. I'm not familiar with the process of confession. And I was wondering if you could help me, confess my sins?“ you asked innocently, your teeth grazing your bottom lip while your fingers played with the hem of your dress.

“I see. Come to the confessional after next week's mass. We can sit down and discuss the things that weigh heavily on your heart.” As he began to respond, your conversation was unexpectedly interrupted by a line of people forming, seeking his guidance and counsel. You, understanding the demands on the priest's time, gracefully stepped back.

“Well, Father, it seems you are a man in demand. I won't keep you from attending to the needs of your flock. I’ll see you next week, then.”

You offered a playful wink before making your way out of the church, subtly swaying your hips.

Surprising your parents, who had grown accustomed to your reluctance to attend church voluntarily, you made your way to the church the following Sunday. Feeling bold and sexy you opted for a green two-piece lingerie set adorned with subtle lace details, which flattered your skin tone perfectly. You threw on a modest high neck white dress on top which made you appear extra innocent.

Seating yourself in the front row, like a diligent Christian, you eagerly awaited the arrival of Father Francisco.

The Sunday mass took place as usual, without any noteworthy incidents.

Midway through the service, though, you uncrossed your legs, inadvertently capturing Father Francisco's attention, causing a faint blush to color his cheeks. His words momentarily faltered, a subtle indication that your presence had made an impact.

Father Francisco regained his composure, seamlessly continuing the service with his priestly duties. Though his gaze occasionally drifted towards you, he maintained his professionalism, determined to carry out his responsibilities.

You, too, were aware of the effect you had on the priest. A playful smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you observed his momentary distraction.

After the last strains of the closing hymn faded away, and the majority of the parishioners left the church, you seized the opportunity to approach the confessional. With each step, your heart beat a little faster, a mix of nervousness and anticipation filling you.

The confessional stood at the back of the church, tucked away in a quiet corner. Its wooden structure, weathered with time, carried an air of solemnity and reverence.

You approached the confessional, noticing the ornately carved wooden door adorned with intricate religious symbols. You reached out, your hand trembling slightly, and gently pushing it open. The door creaked softly, as if welcoming you into its sacred confines.

Inside, the confessional revealed two compartments separated by a latticed screen—a space for the penitent and a space for the priest. Soft, golden light filtered through stained-glass windows, casting colorful patterns onto the wooden panels.

Taking a seat on the worn cushioned bench, you found yourself enveloped in a sense of hushed tranquility.

In the dimly lit space, you could make out the faint silhouette of the priest's side.

“Forgive me father for I have sinned. That’s what I am supposed to say, right?” you said, your voice hushed, almost sensual.

“Lately, my thoughts have wandered to someone who is unattainable. Someone who is meant to inspire and guide, yet remains just out of reach. But I can’t help it, I can’t seem to stop thinking about him at night, think about his big hands and how they would feel on me. About how his big cock would feel deep inside of me. These impure thoughts plague me at night, but they plaque you too, don’t they, daddy?“

Your breathing became heavier as you continue. “Tell me, do you think about me? About your big dick filling up my tight little cunt. Putting your big hands in to my little panties, working me open with those thick fingers of yours. Tell me, Frankie, how badly you want to fuck me. “You shifted on your seat, your thighs rubbing together relieving some of the tension, your own words riling you up. “I can be your little good girl, you know. Just say the words.”

You sank deeper into the plush cushions, Slick arousal pooling in your panties at the thought of him being only a few inches away from you. The tension and the longing became too strong, and you slipped your hand under your already soaked panties. You let out a small whimper as you dragged your wetness up to your clit, rubbing small circles on it. “Oh, fuck Frankie. I am so wet for you. “ you let head fall back, moaning his name loudly. “Can you hear how wet I am? Just let me sit on your face, Frankie. I want to make your whole face wet with my juices. “ You pant, unable to believe that you are so close to cumming after such little time of playing with yourself.

In an act of playful audacity, you reached down and slid your now ruined panties down your legs. With a sly grin, you slipped the fabric through the narrow slit, allowing it to dangle enticingly between the little gate that separated you from the priest.

You held your breath, anticipation mingling with a hint of nervous excitement, hoping you didn’t go too far this time. Moments stretched into eternity as you waited for a response, your heart beat thundering louder with every passing second. Then, amidst the silence, you watched as the priest's hand reached through the small slit and carefully retrieved the green lacy piece you offered. A faint rustle accompanied the movement, and then, silence enveloped the confessional once more .

But it was not the quiet that captured your attention; it was the deep, audible inhale that followed, that made another flood of arousal coat your fingers.

Then, only mere moments later you could hear his sounds. Lustful groans filled the small space.

The furious slapping of his fist as he worked his cock made the tension coil in your own stomach. “Tell me what you want Frankie, you want me on my knees, huh, worshipping your cock?” another loud grunt. “Ahhh, yah that’s it. I wish my mouth was on that dick too, baby. I want to swirl my tongue around it. I bet your cock tastes fucking amazing. I’m going to drain every last ounce of cum out of you.”

“Oh, God,” he let out one final strangled sound that almost sounded like he was in pain, reaching his climax. You followed soon after, clenching down on your fingers hard, shouting out his his name.

As you both came down from your high, only your breaths were audible.

“I'm not quite familiar with how this whole confession thing works. Do I need to say a dozen "Hail Marys" or perform a few extra penances to make up for that?” you asked innocently, awaiting his answer, but you were only met with, once again, silence.

Suddenly the heavy wooden door separating you swung open, revealing Father Francisco standing before you. His gaze intense and focused solely on you, “No.” he growled, letting out a low, almost predatory laugh, “that’s only reserved for good girls.”

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saintsenara · 11 months

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Thoughts on tomarry

thank you for the ask, anon!

tomarrymort was one of the first ships i ever read, and it remains a firm favourite of mine. certainly, it's my preferred pairing for harry [sorry to all the hinny girlies i'm friends with now], and it's up there among my preferred pairings for voldemort [along with riddledore and snapemort].

[i have a current tomarry wip, as well... just in case you were looking for something to read...]

but why do i like the pairing?

firstly, a couple of facetious - but still extremely important - points:

harry does not stop banging on about how hot tom riddle is. he simps for him shamelessly, which i respect, and he's clearly physically attracted to him, which is important in a relationship. tom is a bit more demure, but he does point out that he and harry look alike, so clearly he's been checking him out.

their mind connection is also hot, as generations of smut writers know.

thinking about how all harry's friends react to the revelation that he's banging the dark lord entertains me endlessly. ron, a stoic, can handle it; hermione, very much not a stoic, cannot. my guilty pleasure is the idea that dumbledore secretly ships it.

the pairing lends itself really well to a vast variety of themes and genres. darkfic, villain-redeeming fluff, time travel, stockholm syndrome, crack, horror, pwp? yes, all yes.

and then the main, and much more serious one:

harry is, canonically, the only person to believe in the possibility of voldemort's redemption.

the complexity of grief, anger, and atonement is something i like to explore in my reading and writing, and voldemort being someone whose obvious damage has led him down very dark paths is my preferred way of seeing him. i love an outrageous villain voldemort as much as the next girl, but i definitely would rather write him as slightly more fragmented and, therefore, slightly more capable of doing something with his life beside killing and being immortal.

harry gives him that space, and the pairing has so much potential for being a genuinely beautiful meditation on the power of forgiveness and love.

i'll try most things once, but i have developed some tomarrymort dislikes:

the forgiveness point is the reason that i don't like the subgenre of tomarrymort in which voldemort has all the power. the prophecy said the dark lord shall mark him as his equal, but that seems to be absent from lots of fics.

the canonical harry does not respect the canonical voldemort as he behaves in the series - and he certainly does not and would not submit to him, even in the face of torture [he refuses to bow to him in the graveyard when he's fourteen, he's not letting him run rings around him as an adult].

similarly, while harry is prepared to be morally flexible in pursuit of the things he wants, i don't think he would ever accept a relationship with voldemort in which voldemort actively refuses to change even a little. this doesn't mean writing voldemort as suddenly becoming a meek little lamb, but it does mean harry fighting him on his worst instincts and, very probably, winning. that isn't to say that i don't like dark stories with the pairing, but i much prefer those fics if harry stays defiant and aggro until the very end in them.

on a similar point, i'm not fond of harry when he's written to be fragile, delicate, or stereotypically feminine [he's a jock who wants to become a cop!].

i'm a member of ham nation, but i'll happily read fics in which harry bottoms, but i would like it if authors could move on from equating that with a hyper-submissive personality, completely subsumed and controlled by voldemort. maybe they do have dom/sub vibes in the bedroom - i love that for them! - but that's not the same as top/bottom and it doesn't mean it spills out into everyday life.

i very rarely read fem!harry stories for a similar reason.

and then, in general, i don't read non-magical aus, and i prefer fics without dumbledore bashing, which can be hard to find.

#asks answered #asenora's opinions on ships #tomarry #harrymort

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aninkwellofnectar · 14 days

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Welcome!

You can call me Cammie.

Here I’ll be sharing updates and information about my existing and upcoming publications in The Essence of the Equinox series, as well as other stories set both in and out of the universe.

Publications

In Pursuit of Perfection in Fall into Fantasy 2022 Amira has always demanded perfection—of herself and those around her. Her quest for absolute control takes her on a journey to the hot deserts of Seraj where rumours permeate that humans may have rediscovered the ancient phoenix. Should its power be harnessed, the fire witches will be unmatched. Amira thinks it time they re-learn who the true supreme being on earth is.

When The Stars Alight (16 June 2023) Book 1 in The Essence of the Equinox (Buy Indie | Other vendors) Star princess Laila travels to a cursed island to uncover a legendary race of demons. There, she finds herself up against a tyrannical king who rules without a heart. To spare her country from his warmongering ways, Laila must play the role of charming diplomat aided by the prince and his bastard brother. But soon it is her heart she must keep from being torn between their dangerous rivalry for her affections.

Two Halves Of A Whole in midnight & indigo (31 October 2023) (Purchase) Lucille Bonnaire finds herself becoming the new bride to vampyre prince Ilya Likhanov. Unfortunately, she is unaware of just how nefarious his intentions are towards her and her magic.

The Sanguine Sorceress (1 December 2023) Prequel in The Essence of the Equinox (Other vendors | Buy Indie ) A blood-soaked tale of feminine rage following the journey of Serafina Stilia, as she attempts to claw agency for herself in a society where all the power is held fast in the grip of a male-run imperialistic regime. After her reputation is left in tatters by the unwanted advances of a suitor, Serafina must carve a path to liberation from the fury of her honour-driven father, or die trying.

Upcoming

We Will Devour The Night (22 September 2024) Book 2 in the Essence of the Equinox (Read Early Access on Substack | Ko-fi) Since that fateful voyage north, negative sentiments have only grown against chaos magic and the creatures born from its origins. Laila returns to Mortos with the aim of salvaging her dynasty from those who wish to wrangle the throne on a platform of magic-driven bigotry. She finds herself once more crossing paths with her old lover and confronting the whirlwind of emotions that twenty years apart have done little to settle.

And The Age of Summer Will Rise (Winter 2025) Book 3 in The Essence of the Equinox Summary to come

As an addendum to this I do have a ko-fi account ☕. If you enjoy what I do here and would like to support me by becoming a member or donating to my publishing fund it would be very much appreciated.

You can support me also by signing up to my author newsletter. Content will include insights behind the scenes into my writing process, exclusive snippets, deleted scenes, media musings, publishing opportunities I am pursuing and much more!

Feel free to ask me anything regarding my books, my short fiction, my self-publishing journey and anything else you’d care to know about!

#authors of tumblr #authors of color #authors on tumblr #indie author #books and reading #booklr #bookworm #books & libraries #books #reading #bookish

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queer-book-character-tournament · 2 months

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Character, book, and author names under the cut

Evander (Andy) Mills- Lavender House by Lev Ac Rosen

Catherine St. Day- The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite

Sideways Pike- The Spacegracers by HA Clarke

Malini- The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri

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atortoiseplease · 6 months

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The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics is book one in the Feminine Pursuits Series by Olivia Waite and I can't believe I've been sitting on this for so long. Think Sarah Waters with a lot more happy things and a lot less sad things.

8/10

Can't believe it's taken me this long to discover it.

#books #wlw #wlw books #olivia waite #the lady's guide to celestial mechanics #feminine pursuits series

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leillaaaa · 15 days

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In just the first chapter of the manga, Yashiro actively seeks out a supernatural to get a boy to like her. In her words, "I want the guy I like to fall in love with me this instant!" She states this just after calling Hanako shallow for brightening up after she called him cool. This is a bit of a hypocritical statement since even with our current knowledge, she sought out a school supernatural to get a boy to like her instead of establishing a real connection herself.

The only thing she can say about the boy she likes, Teru, is that, "He's hot, has good grades, and is very nice. He's amazing... Our school's prince!" These are most likely things she's assumed of Teru, or heard about him.

Yashiro grows nervous when it comes to putting herself out there. She's terrified of actually speaking to Teru, or getting him to like her. In her opinion, she's not the type of girl that guys fall for. She sees Aoi as the pinacle of what girls like, of what everyone likes. Even then, she is just putting Aoi on a pedestal. While Aoi is admired, because of her social status and persona, she is unable to truly be herself around anyone, even the two people closest to her. Those people being Akane and Yashiro.

When Hanako is asking her to name special abilities she has, Yashiro immediately thinks of gardening. Her reasoning for getting into it was a shallow act, again, to get a boy to like her. Yashiro only began gardening because this boy she had a crush on off-handedly mentioned that he likes feminine girls.

Even after three years of trying to confess, Yashiro established no connection with this boy. He even remarked, "You like me? I don't even know you. Gross." Even if the boy turned out to be a bit of a jerk, Yashiro most likely would have been kindly turned down by a different guy anyways, because she's never tried to get to know the guys she likes.

Yashiro has a problem where when someone has a physically appealing appearance, she glorifies their strengths and good traits, completely ignoring their flaws and refusing to look into them. Even in the Misaki Stairs arc, Yashiro is distracted by the beauty of Yako, a supernatural about to kill her. Later, when No. 6 kidnaps Aoi, and Aoi gets Yashiro to fall into the hole, Yashiro brushes it off immediately and easily forgives her because she can't see "her perfect Aoi" doing something so cruel like that of her own free will.

In short, because she glorifies popularity and people's beauty, Yashiro is also unable to recognize that beautiful people can also have troubles.

When Hanako says, "Anybody will do for you, huh?" He's recognizing that Yashiro barely knows anything about either of the boys she likes, easily able to substitute one pretty face for another. When he calls her out for not even knowing this boy's first name, she guiltily brushes it aside and pretends she didn't hear it, so she doesn't have to take it into consideration.

Yashiro doesn't want to think about how her thought process is flawed.

Before the first chapter ends, Yashiro does realize that she had been selfish with her pursuit of Teru and that so far, her way of thinking had been flawed.

Still, throughout the series, Yashiro has shown that she still glorifies popularity and beauty. She is always thinking of how, if she were more beautiful, if she didn't have "daikon legs," then she would be popular. And her daydreams of being popular show a Yashiro so far from herself, she is unrecognizable. A girl with no flaws, who is admired by all and sought out by boys, handome boys. (Someone so perfect that they don't even seem human.)

This is what Yashiro thinks Aoi's life is like, even if that's far from the truth. She does care about Aoi, but she is just barely beginning to understand her, even after their years of friendship.

Time and time again, Yashiro has been fooled by shallow promises of beauty and popularity. She wants to be loved and admired, she wants things to be "perfect." In the Picture Perfect arc, when No. 6 captures Aoi, and so on, she's also realized whenever she's grasped perfection, that she likes her flawed life. She likes things being imprefect, because those imperfect things are hers.

I have a feeling that, soon, Yashiro will have to face the fact that she doesn't truly know Aoi, and have a realization that their relationship has to change. Yashiro needs to stop chasing the perfect life, and accept the one she has.

(@mari-lair has a very good analysis of Yashiro and Aoi's friendship!)

I'm also hoping that Yashiro realizes that she doesn't actually like these perfect guys, just the idea of them.

#tbhk #tbhk yashiro #nene yashiro #yashiro nene #jshk #jibaku shounen hanako kun #aoi akane

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wjforever · 1 year

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Throughout the entire series, in translation, Dongfang calls Orchid just a little flower spirit. But in the book and in the drama, he actually calls her 小花妖 Xiǎo Huāyāo a little flower demon.It starts back in the second episode, when he doesn't know her name yet. But the funny thing is that he doesn't call her that right away. Before this she forces him to return her hair, which of course impresses him. And then she begins to explain that one can't take away someone's work, thereby justifying her intention to release the criminal from the pagoda. And after that Dongfang begins to call her 小花妖 Xiǎo Huāyāo.

Of course, I wanted to learn more about this nickname in order to understand what meaning was put into these words, because he called her that until the very end, although he used it less often in the last episodes.

A few facts. The translation of the word demon in Chinese mythology is significantly different from what we are used to. By the way, the same word is called Ying Zhao. It seemed strange to me that demons turned out to be cuties, but when you learn more about the meaning of this word, you understand why you didn't perceive it quite correctly.

For us, demons and devils are more similar in meaning. If we are not talking about the Devil, then devils are the same demons. But they don't in Chinese mythology.

I copied this for you

妖 yāo - demons or alternatively translated as monsters. Born when an animal, plant, or even an inanimate object absorbs spiritual energy over a long period of time and then gains spiritual awareness. Not inherently evil, although many have antagonistic relationships with humans.

魔 mó - devils or alternatively translated as fiends. Evil spirits/creatures of remarkable power and cruelty. Similar to the demons and devils of Western mythology. In some novels, evil cultivators emulate them by practicing devilish cultivation methods and committing atrocities in their pursuit of power.

Some novels consider Demons and Devils to be a single species (妖魔 Yaomo), others as distinct species (妖族 Yao race / 魔族 Mo race).

魔 is sometimes translated as "Demon", which can be confusing at times (particularly when 妖 is also used in the novel).

However, this is not all. I dug through the material and found something interesting.

妖 yāo Initially, this is a female image. A mix of two images of a woman and a baby that are superimposed on each other. The beauty of a woman who hasn't yet submitted, the extraordinary one.

Original meaning: beautiful, magnificent. Enchanted girl, charming girl. Extended: inappropriate behavior, demonic spirit. Witchcraft, demon, magic.

The words demonic, gorgeous, beautiful are closely intertwined in the meaning of this word. This is a demoness, a witch, a sorceress.

Other translation variants are abnormal, bizarre, phenomenon, goblin, evil, magnificent, charming, fascinating.

I believe this is important that it's a female image, and not just a demon. So Dongfang admits her feminine essence.

I think that the closest thing to European culture is the image of a witch, or rather even a sorceress. Beautiful, rebellious, dangerous, powerful. Like Triss and Yennefer from the Witcher, if you're familiar with this universe.

So it's on the verge of a compliment and an insult. Some women are offended when they are called witches, while others are flattered. Maybe this is another reason why Orchid interrupts him so abruptly and tells him not to distract her. Not only because he says that she has features of the moon tribe, but also because he uses such an address to her. This is a curious question. But it's debatable.

Also, it's perceived as the opposite of a fairy. Fairy and sorceress, beautiful and sweet against beautiful but wicked.

I also found an agave plant, one of the varieties of which includes the name demon. 妖炎 (yāo yán Demon's flame). It has spikes. Considering that Orchid is a plant, this adds a new meaning, the orchid with thorns.

Anyway, it's pity that in the English version they refused to use this nickname, because I think it adds more colors to the relationship between Lanhua and Dongfang.

If you want to read more posts about LBFAD or support the author click here

#love between fairy and devil #lbfad #lbfd #cang lan jue #dongfang qingcang #xiao lanhua #苍兰诀 #cdrama #clj #dfcq #xlh #dylan wang #wang hedi #esther yu #yu shuxin #translation mess #thought flow #some facts #love this little details

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goodqueenaly · 8 months

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Do you think Catelyn's would have approved more of Arya's interest in swords and horses if Arya had taken in her lessons in courtesy and etiquette? She didn't seem to think too poorly of Brienne or Dacey's martial inclinations, but neither of those two could ever be described as wild, like Catelyn often thinks of Arya. It seems to me like Cat considered the swords and such more like a symptom of Arya's wildness than an actual problem in and of itself.

Obligatory reminder that Catelyn loved Arya, took an enormous political and personal risk on the hope that she would recover Arya (and Sansa), argued for Arya’s politico-dynastic rights as Robb’s would-be heir, and died with love for her children (including Arya) among her last (pre-revenant) thoughts. (Not to mention the fact that the brotherhood without banners under Lady Stoneheart specifically asked Merrett whether he knew where Arya was before hanging him.)

Anyway, I think Catelyn still viewed Dacey (and Maege, for that matter) and Brienne from a place of traditional socio-political expectations. When Catelyn observed the Mormonts on the march to the Twins, she noted that their mail and leathers were “queer garb for a lady”, and when Catelyn saw Dacey dance with Robb at the Red Wedding, she was surprised to see that “[w]hen she wore a dress in place of a hauberk, Lady Maege's eldest daughter was quite pretty” and that “[s]he could be as graceful on the dance floor as in the training yard”. Likewise, Catelyn’s first reaction to Brienne was one of pity, understanding that Brienne did not fit in with Westerosi highborn society’s expectations of female performance; even when Catelyn accepted Brienne’s service, she added wry, rueful commentary both external and internal on the unorthodox gender roles both she and Brienne were now fulfilling. Now, of course, none of this is to say that Catelyn did not like, appreciate, and trust both the Mormont women and especially Brienne, which she very clearly did, only that Catelyn recognized that these women did not fit neatly into the expectations of Westerosi aristocratic society.

In turn, I think Catelyn approached Arya, and would have continued to do so without the events of the series intervening, with the same sort of social expectations she herself had been raised to follow, including any interest on Arya’s part in swordplay (to the extent Catelyn would ever have been aware of that, of course, which she doesn’t seem to have been IOTL) or other traditionally (in Westeros) male pursuits. Indeed, there is a hint of this sort of attitude in Arya’s memories: recalling the boar hunts her father would take her brothers on (but, importantly, not her), Arya remembers that “Septa Mordane said boar hunting was not for ladies, and Mother only promised that when she was older she might have her own hawk”. If Arya was going to fulfill the role of married aristocratic lady someday - and Catelyn and Ned I think very much wanted and expected that for both of their daughters - then Arya needed southron “refinement” - a refinement that could not come from dueling with swords or pursuing other traditionally (again, in Westerosi aristocratic society) male activities. That said, I could certainly see Catelyn continuing to contextualize Arya's interests in socially acceptable frameworks - as, for example, allowing her interest in hunting to be channeled into the suitably feminine pursuit of hawking.

#asoiaf meta #catelyn stark #arya stark

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coopers-hand · 1 year

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aries-libra axis🌋

continuing with my series of axis fynamics, if you haven’t read the previous part, you can read it here i’ve already talked about how i see oppositions as two opposite ends of the very same thing, as two sides of one coin, and how they are more about balancing and completing each other rather than opposing forces that are fighting. soooo, today let’s talk about aries-libra axis!

aries-libra line is a true representation of masculine vs feminine, yang and yin, bc basically aries is a martian sign and libra is a venusian one. if you’re into greek mythology, you probably already know about Mars and Venus relationships - they were lovers deeply keen on each other, and even had children, which are Eros, Anteros, Harmonia, as well as Demios and Phobos. stay with me here, bc imo understanding of this axis is closely linked to mythology.

first two brothers rule over love: Eros is the god of passionate love and sexual desire, and Anteros is, on the other hand, the god of rational and required love. second two bros are heavily contrasting with first ones, being the rulers of fear (Phobos) and terror (Demios). and also, there is a sister Harmonia, which (you may have already guessed) is the goddes of harmony and concord. do you notice a pattern here?

Mars (Ares) - the god of cruel war, fighting and everything related to agressive masculine (which also includes motivation and libido) and Venus (Aphrodite) - the goddes of love and beauty, which also was able to change her looks to charm and seduce whoever. and those two completely opposing forces - the undomitable forceful warrior and a magnificent and flexible goddes of beauty gave birth to gods of extremes and a goddes of harmony and balance.

now lets return to zodiacal archetypes: aries is a sign of self. It’s a sign of beginnings, where one usually is full of hotheaded energy, desire and motivation to go-go-go! It represents the head, which is kinda where the masculine energy is ruling over (head over heart). aries itself is so eager to be the pioneer and the leader, that sometimes he suddently realizes that he is, actually, left alone in his own world - whether it’s because he is too far ahead from others, or becaused everybody left his territories that he’s been so protective of. in pursuit of fighting for one’s justice he lost the point he was fighting for.

and on the opposite side of the spectrum there’re libras - the most others oriented sign. i’ve already pointed out how Aphrodite could shift her appearance to appeal the most beautiful to every eye there is on her way. libras (on the contrast with another venusian sign taurus) have kind of inhereted this ability and now are one of the most flexible and socially adaptible signs of the zodiac. libras sense for justuce, on the contrary with aries, is others oriented, up to the point that libras could come to realize that there’s no such thing as their own self, their territory, bc of how eager they were to keep the world in balance. in pursuit of balancing the world out they sacrificed their own selves.

and when those two are put together - that’s where the magic happens. aries shows libras how it is to be unapologetically themselves and how to fight for what they believe in, while libras open aries’s minds to the surrounding world and to other’s points of view. and all of the sudden aries are not fighting alone - now they have their own people and global purpose, while libras develop the sense of self. together those two bring real harmony and balance, and i think it’s beautiful💗

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amc-iwtv · 10 months

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You're so right! the other day on twitter there was a whole discourse because many people said that was bad to call Lestat "mother" because it's Louis's role and Lestat is the father / husband. These people think the feminization of Louis is a "positive" thing because Lestat is the antagonist who represents the patriarchy. That view is so reductionist, stereotyped, and unrealistic because everyone has both feminine and masculine traits. I miss when Louis and Lestat, despite their toxicity, were portrayed as a complex gay couple and not a heteronormative yaoi couple :')

(and I hate that feminine is reduced to fragility, submission and godness, when my beloved Claudia is an example of a feminine but powerful woman)

You are so right. "That view is so reductionist, stereotyped, and unrealistic because everyone has both feminine and masculine traits. I miss when Louis and Lestat, despite their toxicity, were portrayed as a complex gay couple and not a heteronormative yaoi couple." Lestat is just as feminine as Louis. Their daddy-dom interpretation of Lestat falls flat when you are aware of prancing around screaming that he wants to be a mother and codes making Claudia as him creating life in the books. And even if I don't fuck with Lestat's parenting in the series, Lestat's foppish body language, his superficiality, dandy attention to aesthetics, his artistry, crossdressing - drag, his socialite ways, and Louis's narrative coding him as a hysteric makes him just as feminine as Louis. He has a male entitlement and pension for violence and control. The difference is Lestat doesn't fight his feminine traits, he is at home in his body, and Louis is not. Lestat can be feminine and masculine at the flip of a switch without it affecting his view of himself. As someone who is butch, feminine isn't always frail, pliable, and submissive, and masculine isn't always hard, cold, and fridge. I don't view my own masculinity as patriarchal, actually, the patriarchy hates me for being masculine and would love me to conform. Louis's wanting to be a father is just as masculine as it is feminine, he takes pride in being called Daddy Louis and making the dumb rules in the house like no running. Louis's greatest pursuit is literally the most patriarchal capitalistic job out there - he's a pimp for god sake. His misogyny is the most masculine thing about him, telling Grace to mind her own business! Threatening to kick her out of the house he owns. Maintaining control over "his girls". He manufactures his thuggish persona and has a very male investment in maintaining it. But Louis's toxic masculinity is a facade, but under it is a loving masculinity of a father, a husband, and a provider. Underscoring the capability for softness, kindness, fragility, instability, and the desire to love and be loved.

It's not either or, they are literally personality traits, we all have both inside of us and a compacity for everything in between! It's Philosophy 101. Yin and Yang. The two wolves. And they aren't negative or positive inherently. Claudia is a perfect example, she's a beautiful feminine girl, and she is intelligent, longs for exploration, she's a survivor, she's a liberator, she's hell, she longs for heaven, she's violent, she has endured violence, she's nothing like the attributes they reduce femininity to. I am rambling! Good night!

#louis de pointe du black

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