#everything is really scary right now ._.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Panel of all time

#atsushi nakajima #ryūnosuke akutagawa #sskk #shin soukoku #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd dead apple #mine #q. #23/02/23 #27/02/23 #They are. They are so so cute actually this panel makes me melt ajchvlucbakjyhvcsajhvc #It's the... Vague feeling of domestic tbh. Something that's so familiar and usual between them that can be used to light up the mood #The saying “Everything surrounding us right now is strange and confusing and scary but this. Our abilities competing. #This is familirar. This is reassuring. Your existence alone is soothing for me.” #And it's just 🥺🥺🥺 GOD I love them #I feel like it's in this kind of panels that you can really see that Akutagawa loves Atsushi. #Of that kind of love he keeps deep hidden in him and he knows he will never voice and it will never be #But it's also there deep and hidden to keep it safe you know? #Akutagawa is already used to suffer anyways; unrequited love isn't going to hurt him more than other things did. He can handle it. #But it's also that thing that may have him say “I'm human. This is the proof of my humanity.” #No matter that others don't see him as human and never will #It also uses to ground him. To look at Byakko and Rashomon fight with an amused look on his face. #So yeah THEM!!!!!!!!!!

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

Yes, of course I have a thing for the rich lady that sets up elaborate games to hunt and eat people for sport. She’s British she’s posh she’s old she’s commanding and she’s morally revolting. How the hell am I supposed not to have a thing for her

#her name is LADY MOWBRAY for fuck’s sake. she ticks all my boxes!!!!! #like literally she’s got an enormous rifle and calls people ‘dearie’ what the hell am I supposed to do #i heard her voice and I was gone #jon sims really is the gift that keeps on giving. first gertrude and now this lady. I’m having the time of my life #thank god mr bonzo isn’t the OIAR’s only hitman lmao #im a bit late but this was a damn good episode! poor alice got extremely traumatised! #this was not a good one for her between the catastrophic flirting failure at the beginning and… that… at the end #and we got to meet luke! something terrible is gonna happen to him isn’t it #obsessed with the fact that gwen has apparently fully embraced her role. she’s got her customer service voice ready and everything #she offered the HUMAN HUNT LADY some REFRESHMENTS like girlie what are you doing #and what are the Cheshire Bouchards?????? you can’t just name-drop that and not elaborate??? #overall I feel like the one that comes out of this episode on top is celia. she’s got some serious guts! #standing up to the human hunt lady right after listening to a statement about said human hunt lady? holy shit celia #VERY very good episode overall. i had a blast and lady Mowbray was genuinely scary (I love her already agh) #the magnus protocol #tmagp #tmagp spoilers #tmagp 15 #lady mowbray

[thisfairytalegonebad]

I've played so much ffxv but i never realised how much Prompto and Ignis randomly hang out together until now and my heart is soft ;_; *lies down on the floor*

So far we've got:

Ignis sometimes asking Prompto specifically to help him shopping when they arrive at a rest area/gas station

When waking up at the chocobo ranch, sometimes they'll be standing by the chocobo pens together while Gladio's off somewhere else

Just now I woke up at Taelpar Rest Area and they're standing by the road together

Sometimes when they rest at a caravan, they're inside by the door just having a conversation and they both look so relaxed

Random (unvoiced) car interactions

I'm only in like chapter 4 of this playthrough so I'm sure there's more, but feel free to add to it I love their friendship so much and I want to hear Everything

#and yes chapter 10 i KNOW but we are ignoring that for now okay right now i am in a place where everything is okay #ffxv #I'm mostly here for the friendship but I'm sure this'll interest the #promnis #crowd as well lol #anyway the headcanon of like. Prompto being most intimidated by Iggy at the start of his and Noct's friendship #like yes you've got a big scary bodyguard but he's actually really chill #your advisor on the other hand holy shit #but then they become friends and Prompto stops being scared of him and Ignis starts to genuinely enjoy spending time with Prompto #(and also Prompto is the only one to help with the DAMN DISHES so he's already well on the way to being Iggy's favourite lmfao) #anyway i love these boys a normal amount *goes to gnaw on a fence post*

[seariii]

Hum...

#im just thinking... im okay tho /gen #just thinking about the words the bestie said to me after I told him about my mental health... #particularly a phrase... he just said 'you are already committed' and when i asked what he meant he said 'to life' #its just... idk... it was impressive and had such a weird feeling... sadly i guess i am committed........ 'sadly' huh.... #sigh another important thing was that it was crucial i went back to therapy... i dont really want to tho... #but 'youve been feeling like this for a long time you need help' ... sigh... what i need is... #the future is so scary... sigh... okay #ill put an alarm to wake up earlier tomorrow and work on that! #seari talks #what i need is adderall- jsjsjsjsjs yeah... alr im sleepy time to mimir #tomorrow ill catch up with everything i missed too #also if anyone reads this dont worry pretty person! i got a bit scared/upset up there but its okay #im quite stable right now! at least enough to survive for a couple days! so yup! #miiiight have to look up a new therapist tho... since aside from help i wanna get a diagnosis.... #sigh... but okay that's not for rn seari it's for future seari. rn seari has to go mimir because shes tired #a mimir a mimir pat pat pat

[dawnthefluffyduck]

Wanted to draw but didn't wanna mess with anything that had pen pressure in it just yet, so here's some ms paint doodles done while I watched a manchild play lethal company

#i know the portrait is off but it was just a doodle #going in and fixing it would require more hand movement than i need to be doing right now so loose sketch it shall be #his hair was weird and it made the whole thing visually lean to the right which sucked but oh well lmao #i made ralsei's eyes all Θ_Θ but his glasses covered it up :') #i must do another to remedy this #see i actually drew a really good picture of the girl in the top right #and right as soon as i got close to being done #my computer completely froze up and nothing worked and the speaker got stuck so it sounded really scary and i panic-hard shut down my lapto #aaaaaaaand lost all of my work #they say art is temporary but damn haha #i ran a virus scan and everything is a-okay so the next reasonable step is to exorcize my laptop #/j #i have a funny as hell story to tell here about my relationship to computers #maybe I'll make that a comic one day lol #short version is i hate them because I'm scared of them and it's a monkey's fault #alright tag babble over night night y'all #doodles #ralsei #ducks #original character #odette

[needylittlegirl]

#hes me #i just got very like umm #i need to hold someones hand but that someone Needs to be my younger self #like i wish i could hold my hand so tight right now #growing up is scary and i just want her to know that im okay. that ill be okay #and that even if she isnt proud of me im proud of her #21 was always a big age in my head #in the sense that like. for awhle i was so sure i’d be dead by then #like i knew id graduate highschool and i figured i’d make it a few years but never to 21 #so just the fact that ill be 21 in a few hours really is. So wild and so scary #whatever im fine #also completely unrelated (i swear) i just got my panic attack chest feeling #i think its because i havent been sleeping much so im just exhausted #whatever #i want to grab little 8 year old me and just hug her so tight #i needed it then and i need it now #i hope shes okay. i feel her sometimes and i hope she knows im strong for her #everything i do is for the little girl i used to be #amd i hope everytime i tell her i love her it somehow reaches back through time and she can feel it #tbd

[l0stw00d]

I'm turning 25 this year. I've spoken about it before but I'll say it again - I'm older now than any of the trans people I knew when I came out and when I was active in my local community as a teenager.

Trans adults exist, and I wish I'd seen more of them - I couldn't imagine making it to my 20s as a teenager. I'd never seen a pre or non-op trans man my age. But here I am! Alive, drawing trans characters and painting frogs and making silly craft projects. Making friends with other trans people my age and Older - there's a whole world of queer folk out there.

Your life does not end at 20. You do not stop existing as a queer person when you stop being a teenager. The world is scary, but there is a place for you, and the world is a better place for every single day you spend in it. You matter more than I could ever explain, as you are Now - not once you get on HRT or once you change your hair or your clothes or get the surgeries you want. Those are wonderful things to have access to and I hope you get every single one of them, but you don't Begin to matter After that. You matter now. You mattered last week, and last month, and last year. I'm so glad you're here, and I hope that, despite Everything, you stay.

#lostwood.txt #trans rights #trans positivity #I've been on tumblr a decade and i still don't know how to tag my serious posts. #i know stuff is Fucked right now for a lot of people. online and off. and that the world is kind of on fire. #and that's really scary and really stressful. #but you are so So SO important. and yes i am very emotional about it. hi. but I'm So glad you're here. #i love my trans friends. they are everything to me. i love the trans artists i follow. their art means the world to me. #i hope anyone that sees my art knows that they are So loved. #i just ! want you to know that you matter and that its worth it. okay? okay.

[louisinargentina]

i don’t think i’ve ever felt this lost in my life. tbh

#feeling sad? sure. hopeless? been there done that. anxious as hell? at least once a week. but lost? no. not really #and that’s really fucking scary because i’m not familiar with it and i just don’t know how to deal with it #i can’t stop thinking that i’m running out of time because i’m 25 and i don’t think i can afford feeling this way #taking a break from uni sounds good in theory but in reality? again. i’m 25. i need to at least achieve one thing in my life holy shit #it’s SO hard to see the good even when it’s right in front of me or someone points it out. like having a job or studying or getting to #travel or even just having friends ARE achievements but i always want More More and More i am addicted to wanting more cause it feels like #nothing i do is ever enough. and now i’m adding feeling lost because i’m finally acknowledging the fact that i don’t know what i want to do #with what i’m studying or how to get a different job in the future when i almost have no experience and everything is just so frustrating #because i simply don’t fucking know. i just don’t. i can’t afford not knowing!! everything is so messy rn you would think i’d be thriving #after seeing louis and meeting aria and traveling to germany and i am genuinely so happy those things happened but fuck man there is always #the Bigger Thing taking over and it makes me feel like an ungrateful brat i just don’t fucking know man. maybe i am an ungrateful brat #but it’s just so hard to be happy when you’re feeling so lost with everything in your life and yourself #anyway i just. needed to let that out #negative #effie talks to the moon

[kuroosdarling]

the urge to make a new blog

#i’ve never wanted to leave kuroosdarling and it’s not for a bad reason or anything #but i’m also forever annoyed that i can’t change this to my main blog #i have a cute new url that would b perfect for a rebrand too #(shoutout to the precious mootie who gave me the idea) #but !!! #it seems so scary to start over #bc i really do love this blog a lot #and it doesn’t feel right to change the url here #this is so dumb to even be thinking sm about but !!!! #forever doomed to overthink about everything #anyways if u read all this i love u and i smooch u #might delete this bc >_< ! #ANYWAY #done rambling (for now ) #⁺. ʚ aims lore ɞ ⋆˙

[thehallstara]

i just like. wish ppl would realize how bad things are for most diaspora jews atm and like. take that into account wrt how they talk abt stuff

#s.txt #every day i see another dozen posts that make me want to cry and further avoid social media #like. i'm sorry i need white gentiles to realize that part of their job here is working to make the diaspora safe for jews!!! #do you know how much harder it is to convince my family that israel isn't the solution when houses in my neighbourhood are getting shot at #and vandalized for having mezuzahs??? which we also had up until they were ripped off by someone a few years back??? #and like those are very necessary convos to have and i'm gonna keep having them and doing what i can and everything #but then i come on here and see shit like all zionists deserve to die no matter and it's just like. yall just want to see jews dead actuall #a free palestine is imperative i believe this to the depths of my soul #and things are also very scary right now!!! these are two things that can and are coexisting rn!! #sorry for the essay lmao #and yeah i'm not really on here besides my queue atm bc most of my energy rn is going towards irl convos+stuff and that's good frankly #sorry coming back bc i remembered the thread i saw from a white gentile leftist last week #that referred to israelis as pests that need to be eradicated #in those exact words and like sorry that's just straight up antisemitic rhetoric in so many ways like pls listen to yourself

[nexus-nebulae]

odd thing we've noticed. the less okay we are the smaller our active system gets

#like logically you'd think we'd get more members while stressed but we don't usually #we actually split way more often when we're feeling okay and alive #i think it has something to do with mental bandwidth #like when mental health bad we don't have enough mental energy to put towards the system #so we just. reduce a lot in size. to make the workload easier #like a few months ago we had about 100+ people active at once all rotating out frequently and cofronting a TON #and now we're down to like. three or four active the rest really only able to be active for a few minutes at a time #we're just too exhausted to deal with the chaos of so many people so it kinda. slows down a ton #it's hard to get used to when everything was So Loud before. its kinda scary sometimes #like damn. i cant just call Incredibly Specific Task Guy to deal with this task i really cannot do right now. that kinda sucks #but knowing that this is like. more bc of the fact that we Can't Deal With Much More Than This makes it a little easier #we're a bit like my current computer. shit ass RAM bc its got like 50 malware (illnesses) on it #and once i get a new computer (get a little better and more functional) i can get back to multitasking #side note my god my RAM on this computer is shit running tumblr and minecraft at the same time totally breaks it #like it makes the Entire Computer run at 10 fps it's Great #i'm getting a new one at the end of this month hopefully #and hopefully Actually Nice Thing Accomplished will also help brain a lot #also not having to stress about how annoying to use our computer is should help lmao

[unexpectedbrickattack]

.

#chattin #nothin crazy just thinking about thay wel//come home post thats been circulating #its so scary #its why i really DONT participate in fandom like that; its why i stay away from aus and oc content #bc sometimes its so far removed from the actual content that youve basically made an entirely new show/game/etc #and like obv thats not bad or evil or what have u #i make aus and ocs for basically everything i watch and play #im doing it w pt right now! #but i feel like #the main issue was that the people who got ahold of the website were people who wanted views #and poked and prodded until they could find something to make a video about #and instead of like #following the creator and their socials; people just jumped on the bandwagon #like the obsession w unreality games (mandela catalog/backrooms/etc) and child mascot horror games #means that some people will look at Cute Looking Things that have very little content or descriptions #and assume its horror related #and that its Content Creator stuff As Usual #and like #will make all of these conclusions without engaging in the original media #if people checked the creators socials for 10 seconds im sure they wouldve found exactly whats been circulating rn #that it was just a fun project ! thats their baby! #and people jumped into a fabricated fandom FIRST instead of engaging in the media #like. i like pt. i LOVE it. i think the game is fun and solid with wonderful music and controls and cute litte bits of characterization for- #-what would otherwise be shallow puppets. and we know this becase we played and watched it! people went through the trouble of finding old- #-dev builds and old concept art and old creator messages (for better of for worse lmfao) #just. i interact with fandom as far as i would like someone to treat my own properties #enjoy what i have to put out there; and take it from there #dont just piggyback off of what fandom wants to see. #just. waugh. 🥺🥺 i feel so bad for that artist. a passion project turned miserable #bc people played with their babies like little dolls and didnt even want to like. know what these babies meant to their creator

[surpriserose]

River monsters mentioned for the river monsters mutuals

#From a head full of ghosts by paul tremblay #About a quarter of the way in and i like the writing so far and i like seeing a book that is trying to tackle how harmful exorcisms are #Especially when the actual issue is mental health as the narrators sister has schizophrenia and on top of all that theyre being covered by #A reality tv show which is why you keep seeing other shows like that mentioned #The only thing im wrestling with is the portrayal of schizophrenia considering neither i or the author have to deal with it and im not sure #As of right now if its really going to challenge the portrayal of schizophrenia in horror beyond hey its gonna get even more fucked up for #Someone if you bring religion into it #Like again the narrator is this girls sister not the actual person going through everything and of course its really scary for everyone it #Not a bad thing to have a narrator who is a scared child worried about her sister and not really understanding whats going on the problem i #How much of that perspective is used to make the other sister seem like this scary monster in their lives #Like i said im only a quarter of the way in im not sure how i feel now and how ill feel later but i really hope it does end up saying #Something new and interesting about the way we treat mental illness in horror especially because the premise is so SO good for that

[just-rogi]

.

#like I’m sorry #I love my best friend so so so much and she’s perfect and kind and has gone above and beyond to be rational and to be there for me #and I get it she’s an autistic woman and has faced adversity and has had to go on medical leave and that’s hard #and I’m not being dismissive of her struggles #but it makes me so angry because her parents unconditionally love her and her siblings and have always made her feel that way #and has never worried about money as a kid #and yeah her relationship with her parents isn’t perfect of course #but she literally cannot understand domestic violence beyond just reading about it in a book #like she did everything she can to understand and relate #but sometimes I want to scream because I feel so alone #because no one in my life fucking understands why I’m the way I am #and I’ve been struggling the past two months really badly with coping #I’ve had to go to the doctor to ask about PTSD and not like the tik tok OWO kind #but the I was in a car crash as a kid with my dad as a drunk driver and I keep getting flashbacks in my daily life to being a small child #that are impacting by daily life and interactions #and like I feel so fucking alone #and to hear from my friends ‘your right this is horrible and toxic but lots of people go through this’ ISNT FUCKING HELPING #I don’t want to hear that it’s normal I want to feel fucking safe in my bedroom without my mother blowing up my phone or calling the cops #I am unwell and I’m so stressed and I’m so sick and I can’t cope with this and none of the therapists I’ve tried to find handle ptsd #especially not therapists of color #I’m angry and I’ve been getting worse over the past two months #and not that it matters but due to ^^^ reasons my birthday has always been insanely fucking bad for me #like depression watch bad. when I turned twenty I was vividly hallucinating while walking around campus for a week straight having #flashbacks in class and I had to be taken out of the auditorium because I was physically unwell and couldn’t stop crying and shaking #and I told my friend I didn’t want to celebrate I just wanted to sit on her couch and not be alone and she fucking ditched me #because an emergency with a different friend came up the night before #like I have a history of suicidal ideation traumatic flashbacks eating disorders and self harm and I’m asking you to be with me on a very #upsetting day and you call me the night before telling me we have to cancel because another friend is having a bigger crisis #and like you don’t even feel a little bad about it?? #I’m just upset and scared and I’ve got a doctors appointment tomorrow and I’m not in reality right now and that’s scary

[running-in-the-dark]

a super fun thing that my brain is really good at is hearing a random fact and remembering it forever. but only if it's bad :)

#the reason I'm thinking about that right now: I wish I had never read that having a crease on your earlobe means you're more likely to have #heart disease. #scared me so much that I read a whole paper about it #but it's been years now so I don't remember the details #just that that's a thing apparently #and guess what my brain does with that information? oh yeah of course I have to obsessively look at the ears of everyone now! does that #do anything helpful? nope! just makes me very very anxious :) #it's just like when I was a kid and I got nightmares about scurvy every time I didn't eat a potato for a week. #like. wow I could be so smart and everything if my brain wasn't constantly focused on random bullshit that is completely irrelevant 😭 #also this thing specifically: I've always been weirdly fascinated by ears and this made that a million times worse and also very scary. #like ooh that's a nice ear :) oh no death exists and this person is going to die and #yeah it sucks. #specifically choosing not to mention any names in this context because my god this shit is on my mind all the time already I really don't #need to say it where anyone can see #it's embarrassing enough #though anyone who has looked at my blog in the past month already knows who I'm talking about. #like. I really shouldn't allow myself to like anyone over the age of like. idk 45. #it's so unbelievably exhausting. #but annnyway I'm totally normal and fine :) #oh yeah I also have creases on my earlobes lol so that definitely added to the scariness (and THEN my mother randomly mentioned recently #that EVERYONE on her side of the family had/has heart disease. bitch WHAT the fuck. anyway so yeah guess we know what's gonna kill me #haha isn't that fun :) ) #ALSO the fact that my memory is very very bad means that I remember absolutely none of the details about shit like this. so it could very #well be completely irrelevant and harmless but i wouldn't remember that part. #and I think even if I found out more it wouldn't help. it's been an obsession for so long. I've never had one go away that I've had for #this long. so. guess I'm just fucked. #personal

[floral-hex]

woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.

#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void #shits rough dawg #I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts #haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier #it’s cold #saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early. #and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed. #went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours #guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left #even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are #I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh #my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week #maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done. #I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting #woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside #hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning #can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding) #actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so… #I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience #anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments #I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired. #I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die. #is this relatable? #just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda. #gonna look at pictures of butts now #ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever #you can ignore this #text