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hellosophrosyne · 6 years

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2017 recap

6/2/2018

Fun fact: I used to be very active and present with myself in the sense that I would journal quite often on a blog. My form of therapy. And one of my absolute faaavorite things to do in the beginning of each year was to recap each month of the year that had just past just so I would always remember what the heck I got myself into someday when I’m old and trying to remember my life.

I haven’t done a recap in YEARS, but I still kept my makeshift calendar/planner that I used in 2017, even though it’s already halfway through 2018 already. I think I kept it so I could try and recap it on here sometime when I could... & I guess that time is now, so...

(it’s currently 2AM, I just said goodnight to you on ftime, so here i gooo)

JANUARY

January looks like it was a boring month by the look of how little I wrote on here. I think I was depressed still. From failing my boards in October 2016. I had rescheduled my retake for the NCLEX on February 8, 2017. All I have written down is checkboxes of “150″ as a reminder that I should do at least 150 practice questions before going to sleep. But whoa, looks like I happened to go to my little’s installs this month too. Feels like that was ages ago. I can’t believe my old ass actually crossed a little sis even though it was years later. It’s too bad the chapter died, and I wish we were closer. Our age gap plays a big factor, but I’m glad I met someone like her.

FEBRUARY

February 8th- I retook the NCLEX. Most stressful day ever. Thank god I actually have a youtube video commemorating that entire day. I remember eating lunch with Sarah after and just crying because I did the hack into the site to see if I could get the results early and it looked as if I actually passed. Even though it was still uncertain, I had some peace of mind.. and found out I officially passed 2 days later at 6AM when my mom came barging in to show me my name on the official boards website. I remember I was sooo into yoga during this month. I thought it really helped. I was gaining all this flexibility, finding a sense of peace within my body partnered with daily practicing of meditation. Like damn, I need to incorporate that kinda stuff in my life right NOW. I went to Bear Valley to check out the snow. Got to ride in my first snow mobile kinda thing... I would totally do it again. I tried AcroYoga with Jessy, first and only time. I kinda wanna try another class again. I got invited by an old high school friend to go see the FIreFall at Yosemite. Such a crazy experience, getting to wait around with hundreds of photographers just for one opportune moment where the waterfall looked like it caught fire just for 3 minutes. At this time too, I was heading to SF a lot to have dinner with everyone I could. Still working at the job that I hated, training to be supervisor. I think this was the month they tried to screw me over too, trying to make me do things I was never trained to do.

MARCH

My 23rd birthday month. This month felt freeing. I started applying to anywhere and everywhere. Had dinner with Freda (my therapist friend) (i have to document whenever I see her because i feel like i never see her), started planning my Havasupai trip with the girls (Jessy, Veronica, Britney, Sherry, Amanda). Getting fitted for backpacking backpacks, buying backpacking gear... SHIT BE EXPEEENSIVE. For my birthday weekend, me, Jessy and Veronica headed to LA and got to spend the entire time just being gluttonous, going to disneyland, being housed by Johnny Ta. Never felt so carefreee and wreckless with my money. and whoa, I just remembered now.. i was STILL vegan at this time! We went to this $$$ vegan sushi place.. had vegan take out.. dude my friends are so cool to have gone through 2 years of dealing with my lifestyle choices hahaha.

APRIL

I started my BSN online school this month. Had 2 interviews and got both jobs. Got the job at DMC and right after I got the OK that I got accepted, I QUIT THAT B-ass job and vowed to go a little bit crazy and treat myself to 4 months of doing whatever the F I wanted (they told me my start date would be in July). It was Tien’s birthday, and he wanted to go to Pismo so we did. He rented out this hugeass house and we had a house full of 20 people but somehow we all still had beds. Me and veronica sand dune buggied for the first time and stayed safe while everyone else was being wreckless AF. Went to Fresno for my baby niece’s birthday. Hiked mission peak. Went to Hometown heroes for the first time. Went to the outlets with Jayne. And wtf.. it says here on my calendar I went to Vegas??? Wuuut. With who LOL.

---- ok so i had to reupload snapchat to my phone just to see if I had documented it in any way. AND I DID. This vegas trip was supposed to be celebrating one of the newer girls’ birthdays, but me, kat, and tiahs flight got delayed for days so we ended up going to that club. The club where I saw YOU for the first time in 5ever and realized that hey, you are one cutie. But I didn’t think much of it then, just that I remembered you were the first guy I recognized as cute for the first time in what seemed like forever at that time. So long since I had found anyone cute that it was something I HAD to document and tell my girlfriends about because it had felt like such a huge milestone. That I was finding some attraction to someone physically for the first time in years. Maybe that’s why I was so drawn to you in the first place, when I saw your snapchat pop up just a few weeks later. (but too bad you didn’t feel the same about meeee that night lololol)

MAY

What a fun month. My big bro took me to True food Kitchen where we had the BEST vegan flan, it was insane. We have to try it if we ever go. I went to Utah/Arizona with my parents for 2 weeks. Saw the ‘seven magic mtns’ in vegas, went to see a LOT of red rock, hiked my first water hike into a canyon (kanarraville falls), went 4wheel driving into a desolute absolute no service area to a place called White Pocket which was absolutely beautiful. Saw horseshoe bend, went to grand staircase-escalante for the coolest canyon hike I’ve ever attempted where you have to squeeze through the small canyon walls (remind me to show my snap story from this day to you someday), hiked to see waterfalls. Damn looking back.. I was pretty active this month. In just one week after coming back from Utah, only had to head out again to Havasupai with the girls. We flew into vegas, got our rental van, drove it to Arizona, slept in the van (but i couldn’t). Woke up at 3-4am to start our hike into the Indian reservation. Made it to the campsite at noon (after taking a faaatass 3 hr break at the village). Saw the most beautiful waterfalls I’ve ever seen in my life. Hiked back, drove to horse shoe bend, saw antelope canyon, then trekked it back to vegas to have the most amazing “last hoorah” if you may call it that. Because not only was it my last trip in vegas to document to this day, but it was the best because it was 100% free and we had complimentary tables and bottle service the entire damn weekend. It was also the time your name finally popped up on my snap. I added you, but you never got to see my last day in vegas snaps go through LOL. Good thing though, you woulda just seen a bunch of bad singing to loud alesso songs. Straight after this weekend, I had Lemonade for the first time with Arielle (what an expensive ass place LOL). Jeez what a jam packed month. I can’t believe that was literally just a year ago.

JUNE

~~~~ exciting things start to happen

June was the month when we started texting. I planned my whole solo LA trip to see the Kingdom Hearts Orchestra, and I remember I was texting you the entire time. JUNE 17 [i marked it in my calender] was our first lunch/ idk date at the korean place. Ugh so crazy, it’s SO SO crazy that here I am writing this post on June 2, 2018, when our first real interaction was just 11 months and 2 weeks ago. Time flies. What a successful first meal together. I remember being so nervous because I didn’t want to scare you off by the fact that I didn’t eat meat and that I was barely starting to eat fish again (in preparation for Hawaii). We had the most amazing lunch partnered with no phones, just plain conversation. It was seriously just so nice. and so innocent. I knew at that moment that I was in dangerous waters, feeling so attracted to you and not knowing how to deal with these new emotions I haven’t felt in so long. But I was accepting and ready for whatever was to come.

I ended up going to Hawaii for 2 weeks (Kauai|Oahu). We were playing loads of phone tag here. I feel like both of us were drinking, trying to build up liquid courage and give us a reason to talk late at night on the phone. I remember you texted me once this month too something like “so why doesn’t someone like you have a boyfriend?” :p Ugh, it makes me smile just thinking of how we were when we were just barely starting.

JULY

I went to my classmate Sarah’s wedding. I think at this time I was already smitten by you and our random phone calls here and there. JULY 11 ~~ (again written on my planner) was our ICHI date. I personally didn’t know what to expect from this, if it was a date or not. When you put your arm around me when walking to that ice cream place (smitten?), to us awkwardly trying to cozy up at your house watching those movies. Me being an alcoholic just tryna BRING SOME LIQUID COURAGE into our lives. HAHA do you remember how you wouldn’t kiss me after I *ahem*? Ohhhhh how times have changed.

Because of how well this date went, (and how we both knew you were leaving so soon already to socal), we halfhazardly made a new date on July 15, to go to Land’s End. I remember all I wanted to do was just see you again. Confirm if that night was just a fluke or if there really was something there. I didn’t plan to stay that night..... but I did. And there we went, kissing for hours and hours until I had to go. (can you believe I went to 6flags the following day, i was fucking crazy man). You officially moved to Anaheim shortly after this... I wasn’t sure when the next time I would see you next (IF I would even see you again). But I’m so sosooo happy we remained in contact, probably even stronger than ever, with late night calls, constant texting. I went to the John Mayer concert with my big bro at the end of this month and I remember I just could not stop talking about you or to Johnny Ta about you (since he came up for the concert as well). I was soooooo sprung (i still am soooo sprung babe). Talking with you was so exciting. I feel like my personality had been brightening up with each passing day we got to know each other more.

AUGUST

I don’t know how it happened, but I decided I was going to drive to see you that one fateful weekend (August 12-15). I had already started my job just 2 weeks prior, but already I wanted to drive down to see this guy I went on 3 dates with? Ugh. I am SO glad I did. I remember feeling so uncertain if things were gonna pick up from where they left off.. if things were going to be awkward.. if we were going to be “fuckbuddies” or something more. I needed moral support, so I made plans to see Veronica that first day I came. We ate at EMC, went to the OC fair, then headed to the packing house to drink a little at kettle bar. Met up with Blake and then you finally showed up and man, what. a. whirlwind. of a night. Headsup, drinking, lots of snowboarding, you attacking my neck/face while I was trying to brush my teeth... I remember specificially at THIS moment, I felt like we were already SO comfortable with each other. Everything just flowed so easily. From the way we kissed, to the way we brushed teeth next to each other, from the way we slept together (for the first time), to the way we cuddled in bed. It felt SO natural for me. (I wonder how it felt for you). I felt like it was such a big deal too... everyoneeee knew my business at this time. I feel like every single one of my friends became such huge supporters of me “putting myself out there” after I had been solitary and avoiding all men for so long. I had created such a persona for myself that even blake and veronica the following morning thought that we didn’t even do it. Which was fine with me (although down there I was a little bit dying already. felt like I had lost my vcard all over again tbh). Waited for you to get off, and you took me to Tanakaya for the first time. Then we headed to the 626 night market. Went home and drank whooo knows what that night that we had to go get pho the following morning and brodards to top it all off. Remember waiting in line for hours for that .86 cent coffee? We ended up taking a nap then going to Laguna Beach before deciding to go to Kang Hodong for the vurry first time. Damn, all these lowkey traditions were formed just from this first weekend together, now that I’m reflecting on it all. The next day was when I had to leave... we had tanakaya (AGAIN), then I had to head back home :’(. And I remember feeling so... sad. I realized I felt so so excited and full of happiness being with you.

But crazy enough, you came to visit me in Modesto literally less than a week later. I was wearing my Burgundy scrubs, we went to get Crown Royal.. I’m sure you remember how the rest of night goes. Damn we were all up on that yayyy this whole beginning of our relationship LOL.

Then literally 5 days later on August 25, I came to see you in SJ, got hyped up on too much black coffee, watched HIMYM, met your parents, ate at sushi confidential.. We already seemed to have done so much in so little time, but I wasn’t complaining. Even though we werent official, or even had the talk of wondering what we were, all I knew is that I just needed to keep seeing you, and I didn’t care how.

SEPTEMBER

SEPTEMBER 3 ~~ aka labor day weekend, another 4 days I had off work. I had Guads for the first time! Chilaquiles. I think this weekend was when I literally had to study for my EKG test. I tried 1/2 of my first sweetbird sandwich. Went to that one vietnamese place MY’s kitchen with Hieu, David, and Michael. Had my first Michelada and was like whoooa, this beer is meant for my taste buds.

I tried out the wine bar here in modesto based off Yosemite with Cassandra. Such a cute place, I would totally take you here someday.

This was a pretty jam packed month at work for me. I had tons of tests going on and all I wanted to do was be finished with it because I wanted to see you again.

SEPTEMBER 29 ~ I flew down to SD to get picked up by veronica to head to LA. We were housed again by Johnny Ta after we hiked up this “wisdom tree trail” and saw the psychic who told me that me and you are soulmates. Even though I knew I was taking this time to bond with my friends, you were the only thing that consumed my mind. I just wanted to talk to you, be with you, call you to hear your voice.

OCTOBER

OCTOBER 1-3 ~~ Veronica drove me to fatty tuna and you ENTRUSTED ME WITH YOUR CAR for the first time. The next day, we tried Meiji Seimen before going to the Botanical Gardens and going to Newport Beach. Interesting enough, I don’t have many pictures of this weekend... so I can’t remember much of what we did. But this trend of us drinking a lot LOL jeeeezzuhs. This was a very very short trip, but I was so happy I got to see you. EVEN THOUGH I already made plans to see you just a week later.

OCTOBER 8-12 ~ we went to Sun Non Dang with Drew and Wonnie(?) for that galbi jim that i wanna try ohhhh so bad again. After, we went to Puzzle Bar where I met Kevin. This was a weekend where you were starting to work a lot a lot at sweetbird so we really didn’t have too much time together. It was also when that huge fire happened in the hills that caused that apocolyptic looking sky when I went to have orange roll sushi during one of your lunch breaks. (we went to try out that indian place the next day too and tanakaya for dinner). Although we didn’t get to spend a real day together this trip, it really was everything to be there for you to come home to. We WERENT EVEN OFFICIAL HERE YET, but I felt like we had something real.

OCTOBER 20 <33333 ~ was our planned staycation in san mateo. the time where you slept in through your alarms and missed your morning flight :p. We had brunch with your mom, headed to burlingame, went to eat at b street & vine, and i asked you out with a card I made. #makinmoves

This day was fulll of wonddderrrrful lovemakin, ugh. The couch...the table..the king sized bed... the blackout curtains. We had shabu before I had to say goodbye :(

NOVEMBER

My calender says I visited you Nov 1-6, but I don’t have any recollection of what we did :c. Maybe someday I’ll go through my harddrive and try to find out...

I went to Napa with Jessy this mid November! We had the BEST pasta I’ve ever had in my life (MUST TAKE YOU), so much wine. i trimmed my hair for the first time in 3 years. I randomly got my car November 17 out of necessity from my truck tires being unreliable.

I went to visit you Nov 19-22 (again another trip I don’t have any pics from rn...) and we flew back together Wednesday morning! I think this is when I watched stranger things season 2 at your parents house, we went out with the guys, and the next morning was thanksgiving (when I had to work) and we had that amaaazing *** in the bathroom hehe. Right before eating at that vietnamese hotpot place. I had to say goodbye to you yet again... i sang to you that eric bellinger song (what you want). I knew I was going to see you literally a week later, so I was excited. Just had to work 5 days and I knew I would be with you again.

DECEMBER

This was my first 8 day trip visiting you and it was JAM. PACKED. This was when we made an LA trip to go see Museum of Ice cream, LACMA, went to the counter for the beyond burger. The fail to see the sunset at griffith observatory. Disneyland with Jayne/JJ, Anny and her boo. The day after disneyland, you had work until dinnertime where we went to NANA SAN, and had omakase with jj and jayne. Again, I think Im gonna have to go through my harddrive and see what other pictures I may possibly have to remind me more about this weekend, but it’s all a little bit hazy for me right now.

Jessy’s bday was this month. Ate at her workplace Kokkari, saw the christmas tree at union square.

I went to visit you Dec 17-20, you gifted me the calpak that I use now everyyyyytime I travel thank you baby. We also ate at sushi confidential with Vanessa. (THIS WAS ALSO THE TIME I WAS STARTING TO GET SICK AND I WAS SICK THAT ENTIRE DAY CUS OF THOSE HOT CHEETO CURDS)

I worked for days in a row but had christmas off, which was when I came to visit you and your family. Had dinner at your aunt/uncles place. The next day you made ratatouile and we had taco night at your house. And boy was I sick.... This was probably the fastest sickness I had ever experienced surprisingly. Typically, I will cough for weeks... but idk, maybe you just took care of me well :)

I then had to say bye to you just for a couple more days before getting to visit you just in time for our first NEW YEARS EVE!

AND THAT, is my 2017 recap. Going through it now, I can only see how much of an impact you have had in my life right from the very very start when we first “met.” I am so happy to have met you and I can’t believe how lucky I am to be cared for and loved by somebody so amazing as you.

I have so much more to say, and so much more love to give, but i started writing this at 2, and it is now 350AM, T__T.

I am gonna try to head to sleep now, I can’t wait to hear your voice in the morning. I LOVE YOU OTTER. You’re seriously the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

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