#even though we did not have a functional ed for years

[scary-senpai]

Hello! I once read your post about Bang's red flags and it was very eye-opening to me 'cause I liked his char and chose to ignore all his behaviors 😩😩 Thank you very much!🤝🌷🌷

Oh, thank you so much for writing, lovely Internet Stranger! I’m assuming you’re talking about the one from my main blog, “Bang is made almost entirely of out red flags" ^_^ You probably are, because that's literally the title... But I know I've posted about him on here, too.

I think the "red flags" essay was the first fandom essay I ever wrote? I think I hammered it out at some wee hour of the morning and went to bed fully expecting OPM-Tumblr to come for my kneecaps during the night. I was pleasantly surprised to see that most people seemed to enjoy/appreciate it.

So, I’m glad you enjoyed my essay, but I didn’t intend to guilt you or make you feel wrong for liking a particular character. I do my best to keep my language at least somewhat neutral and not to be too harsh about anything, but I’m certainly not out to yuck anybody else’s yum. Also, when it comes to the “constantly beating your disciples thing”… I sometimes wonder if I’m being too harsh considering the piece of media. By and large, the audience is here to open up a beautifully inked can of whup-ass, not to watch an estranged disciple hug it out with his former mentor (although there’s certainly a highly invested/very vocal subset that is dying to see that).

I think it’s definitely okay to like a character even if they aren’t exactly a role model (or even if they’re the opposite of a role model)—I feel like that’s sometimes the point, actually. We can dissect behavior in fiction to an extent that we can’t in real life, so it’s a low-stakes place to talk about human behavior and gain insights applicable IRL. I appreciated Bang’s character more after I put all the pieces together. I mean, which is a more interesting story? Bang is the perfect mentor, and Garou goes down a dark path anyway? Or Bang does his best to help Garou but makes some notable missteps, and perhaps comes painfully close to getting it right, only to fall victim to a longstanding character flaw—I don’t know, maybe losing his temper at a time when Garou most needed compassion and patience? The second example is more interesting, I think—it gives us something to talk about.

I try to own up to my own bias, because I do find myself projecting a lot of my own emotions on Bang and Garou’s relationship. Around the time I started watching OPM, I had transitioned out of my long-time job in a rather toxic environment. It was my first real job out of school, and I worked for 7 years under someone who was very brilliant and had overcome some of the same obstacles that I did, but unfortunately he was also quite angry and downright manipulative at points. I stayed for a long time because I didn’t know any better, and I’m still kind of untangling that, honestly. He taught me a lot about systems, operations, and human behavior, and all of the skills I learned are fine as long as you use them in a neutral way--my boss was just super mean about everything. (He had mostly worked in high-stress finance jobs although we were in healthcare/human services, and I assume he was just carrying out the cycle of abuse when he told me things like: "if you worked for me at JP Morgan, you could get fired for making a mistake like this." ...And my mistake was double-sided copies instead of single-sided ones. Like, I am a salaried employee working 60+ hours per week, and I am still barely making rent, my guy. For JP Morgan money I will gladly eat your files instead of shredding them.) In any case, I feel a little conflicted when I pull these lessons out, even if I’m using them differently… like, "ugh, ex-Boss, why did you have to be so mean and so brilliant and so right all time..." It almost seems a bit like the scene where Garou pulls out Fist of Flowing Water Crushing Rock on the Tank-Toppers because he has no other choice. So actually, instead of thinking back to my ex-mentor I try to think of that scene instead ^_^ it saves me dredging up something unpleasant.

#one punch man #opm #meta #bang #eventually he went on medical leave and I ended up running pretty much the whole company #I made really good money towards the end *but* still way less than I should have been #which actually kinda f*cked them over because they didn’t think they had the budget to replace me #and because the pay scale was messed up junior roles in another location still made more than me when you controlled for cost of living #I managed to fix *the entire payscale* before resigning but you know #nobody’s going to suddenly get paid less just because I got butthurt over salary #anyway he messaged me on LinkedIn last year #and he said ‘you’ll always be executive director to me’ (because the most sr title I got was assistant ED) #even though we did not have a functional ed for years #so I blocked him and I still feel bad even though I shouldn’t #I am optimistic that I will recover from all this some day #now I work for therapists :) #10/10 would highly recommend #a significant pay cut but my day ends at 5 #I can’t put a price on working for reasonable people that value ethical decisions #it’s very much ‘your money or your life’ sometimes

[fannyrosie]

I've followed you for quite a while and I've always loved your style plus I lived vicariously through your life in Japan lol. I'm sorry if you've already posted this I couldn't find the post but I was wondering why you left Japan. It's my dream to live there one day and I was curious what it was like.

I have answered that in my Instagram Stories, but here is the long story version (TL;DR: I came back mainly because of my poor health):

I left Japan after 6 1/2 years for several reasons, but one the main reason is because of my health. I've never been the healthiest person, even before moving there (I was even dubbed "the sick one" at my old job because I often had to suddenly leave work in the afternoons). I was constantly tired and had really bad abdominal pains. I saw several doctors in Montreal, and all I managed to get was a diagnosis for IBS and anxiety. However, I was functional most days, and managed to work and live relatively normally, as long as I rested a lot and stuck to my FODMAP diet.

During the few first years of my life in Japan, my physical health remained that way, with some random very bad health periods, but overall, I was fine. I even started to workout regularly to improve my posture and muscles. However, from 2020 onwards, my health declined significantly. On top of my worsening IBS, I started having really bad spine pains, radiating to my head, chest and arms, and making me so tired I had to take several days of rest every time I went out. I started to catch every little virus I got in contact with, and had to avoid taking public transport the most I could. I was working from home, and walked a lot, so that was manageable, but it made me more isolated.

I saw several doctors, but even though they did blood tests and x-rays, they couldn't find anything and just assumed it was stress. After reading about EDS, I thought I might have that (since I am also hypermobile), and had to wait 7 months to get an appointment at Todai's hospital. However, on the day of my appointment, I got told that Todai only deals with EDS related to heart issues, and my tests were all normal, including my x-rays. That was in June 2022, and was the final straw, as it proved that even the most advanced hospital in Japan couldn't help me. By that time, I had to wear a back brace to do the most basic things, like laundry or going to the supermarket, and was taking painkillers every day. I had to stop working because I couldn't work on my computer for more than 2 hours a day. Obviously, no work=no money.

Coming back to Québec, I had to wait 3 months to get back on the public health system, and as of today (6 months after being back), I managed to get x-rays and MRI showing I have: discopathy (degenerative spine disk disease), osteoarthritis (degenerative joint disease), several herniated disks in my cervical region and pinched nerves due disks collapsing. Basically, I have the spine of a 70 year old. I have been referred to a physiatrist, but we all know that Québec's public health system is very slow. so God knows when I'll see one. Nevertheless, they found something, which is better than all the doctors in Japan who told me it was just stress. Japan sadly has a big culture of having to "endure" pain (mental or physical), and it shows in their medical system.

Due to the degenerative nature of the illnesses they found up to now, my health is constantly getting worse. I used to have good and bad health days, but now, I have more bad health days than good health days. I still take painkillers every day and wear my back brace to do normal tasks, but most days, these are not enough. I am trying to make the most of my "good" health days by dressing up and doing nice things, but I never know how I will be the next day (or hour).

I had to take two breaks writing this; hopefully it makes sense haha

#questions and answers

[canmom]

i was a very online teenager. i struggled with in-person interpersonal relationships and spent a lot of time on a much less sanded down internet than the one we have today. and my peers at school were on that same internet.

so of course i saw porn of various kinds, from goofy flash videos to the standard catalogue of shock images (goatse, meatspin etc.). like most kids my age, we took it mostly as a big joke. it was exciting mostly only because it was forbidden, like swearing. so people would talk about something like 2girls1cup, and whether you'd seen it, in much the same way you'd talk about having seen gory shock horror films like Saw. none of this was particularly upsetting or shocking. (i found gore way more discomforting, in general.)

even so, the whole environment was rife with repression. and frankly, 'imply someone is gay' ('batty boy' is one especially goofy slur i remember) being a default category of joke did way more damage than knowing some people are into scat or playing a flash game where you can see a drawing of some boobs. implicitly sexual insults would be common, often playing on someone's naivete. i got very used to 'do you have ginger pubes'. tricking someone into saying something 'sexual' without understanding, and then laughing at them, was another one - i suppose it functioned a way of showing your proximity to the mysterious adult world of knowing about sex.

so after a few years of that, i went through a whole period of just... trying to distance myself from having anything to do with sex. we didn't have 'asexuality' language back then, but i probably would have jumped on it if it had been available. 'sex is gross' was the only frame i had to distance myself from how my classmates talked about sexuality, because i didn't have a handle on what was really up, just that i didn't like it. projecting 'i am above it all and find it disgusting' was a form of armour that calcified around me and ultimately did tons of damage to my ability to understand my own feelings. as i got older, this got mixed up in the moralistic rhetoric of online 'social justice'.

when i got to university and finally started to knock down that wall, i had to speedrun figuring out "how to do relationship". (i dived into polyamory head first, and of course that all went as badly as first relationships usually do.) it's been messy.

i reckon if i'd been willing to approach subcultures as a teenager that had given more room to experiment with like, desire and expression and so on... like if i hadn't let the background contempt get under my skin, for the emos and furries and whatever other 'having too much of the wrong kind of fun' social group we were all supposed to hate... i would probably have been a lot happier! if i'd had any out gay people around me before age 17!

the idea of trying to make sure people never see anything ever related to sex until they're 18, outside of whatever the government deigns to allow to be said in sex ed class, is so hopelessly arse-backwards. it's not going to work - a generation that grew up on the internet is going to be way better at getting to what they want to see than the censors are at blocking it, so the main function of the censorship is to reinforce the idea that they're looking at something shameful and secret. it's not going to protect kids - if anything i suspect it's going to make them more vulnerable to exploitation and mistreatment, either by adults who can offer 'access to the forbidden secrets of sexuality', or by their peers by producing this dumbass hierarchy. and tbh i think knowing about all the weird fetishes there are in the world is actually a really beneficial thing, in the same category of 'seeing your grandma's tits at the spa'.

unless, i guess, what you really want to do is teach everyone how to bypass censorship and distrust authority figures? i think there might be better ways to do that, though!

#preaching to the choir here i think #nevertheless my goat has been gotten

[iamadequate1]

Buttons and Izzy in S2

This was going to be a tangent on my next Black Pete and Izzy thing, but it got too long!

Did you notice how much more involved Buttons was in the first few episodes of S2? He didn't banter much with the crew in S1, but he had more direct banter in S2 and was able to give extended advice to both Stede and Ed.

It was delightful! It was a nice spotlight for the character, but, in retrospect, it only happened because Buttons was leaving.

Since this same treatment was being used on Izzy, the writing was on the wall that they were also building toward Izzy departing the series, and given the function of his character, that meant his death. My lone non-HBO complaint (actual complaint, not nitpick) with S2 is that there was too much Izzy. They were writing a swan song for the character, and they took up too much screentime to do this. We didn't learn anything about him. He was still toxic and manipulative, just toned down, but the crew was nice to him because the crew is kind, not because they had a deep love of Izzy himself.

Buttons left halfway through the season and his swan song wasn't obtrusive, but Izzy stayed the entire time, taking up excess scenes to the detriment of all other side characters and he was just everywhere. Izzy (who has been pretty abusive toward Ed) is given a solo scene to comment on Ed's banishment in 2x4 (there is no way the rest of the crew was actually tied), Lucius and Oluwande after 2x2 no longer have a relationship with Stede in favor of giving Izzy more of a focus, Wee John has his lone character spotlight taken away from him in favor of Izzy getting a poorly formed queer arc (I think that's the queer arc his fans are talking about??), Izzy is overwhelmingly present (and disgustingly creepy) as he croons over Ed and Stede's sex scene and bursts into their room the next morning to make inappropriate and uncomfortable comments. It's exhausting, and it detracts from S2.

And, that's it, isn't it? Izzy is everywhere in S2; he wasn't in half of S1 effectively but he has increased screentime in S2 even though S2 is two episodes shorter. He's oozing into every scene, but it's S2 Izzy. S1 Izzy isn't acknowledged until the death scene because the audience needed to have sympathy for Izzy to make his death sad. No S1 flashbacks of Izzy even though they showed Lucius getting pushed off the ship twice. It would be weird to have Frenchie holding Izzy's hand if we just had it close to a context flashback to Izzy screaming at Ed about not being punished enough after Izzy called the British on them, endangering everyone, since he thought Ed needed to be his image of Blackbeard or else.

I just think S2 could have toned down on the amount of Izzy and been more efficient in his redemption arc without sweeping the acknowledgement of any of his S1 actions until the last 10 minutes of the season. Maybe that's just me.

AND ANOTHER THING! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

We spent over a year of reunion fics where some had varying degrees of Ed abusing Stede. Ed raising a hand to Stede in any manner or emotionally torturing him is so OTT OOC, and I'm disappointed that some of these fics became so popular. I foolishly thought this would stop after S2 rolled around and canon Ed dispelled this nonsense, but noooooo, Izzy had to ruin everything again and start a new round of Ed Is Abuser. Thanks, buddy.

Black Pete vs Izzy: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

#our flag means death #ofmd #izzy critical #i'm looking forward to no izzy in s3 #also ed is not anyone's abuser #a toxic relationship does not make one an abuser #ed and stede are going to be the most disgustingly in love couple there ever was!

[hamofjustice]

I don't want to just painstakingly copypaste my triple-layered self-QRT thread about it on Twitter and any other ones floating around but

I am very emotionally invested in seeing Penny, Arven, and (personally) especially Nemona again in the Scarlet/Violet DLC, after GF followed up the best 3 hours of Pokemon game story ever by having to abruptly cut it off the second these lonely kids finish opening up to you and say you can hang out with them anytime. Which you never do. It was some pretty painful whiplash, and I was sure the main point of the DLC was to relieve that, especially when their arcs don't seem quite complete yet. Very clever, evil marketing! But uh... well... about that...

It is very worrying that aside from a little "the story so far" montage, they have not been seen or mentioned in promotional material/footage whatsoever. Y'know, DLC for the game that's about how the real treasure was the friends you found along the way (literally, in Nemona's case), and even if your family and support systems fail you, you still have each other? Written from the heart by someone who said Arven's story is inspired by their own life? With the sappy Ed Sheeran song about reaching out for connection with others, that also seems to be named after Team Star? The game where one of the features the devs seemed most proud of was going on adventures and into boss fights with 3 of your friends? The game that ended with a fully functional and quite immersive bonding adventure with these characters you'd gotten to know and care about, that basically everyone thought was the best part of the game by a mile, and were left wishing the whole game was like that?

Yeah, I (and everyone else) have been driving around alone in that game for 8 months ever since finishing that story. 8 months of minor updates with a ton of the beloved characters functionally or literally gone, while we go around doing online stuff with nothing else to do in the world, with a single player postgame more barren than we had on Game Boy Color (thank god for mints and bottle caps though). I'm left just... wanting to go back to the way things were before I beat the game. Not to be overly dramatic, but this world I supposedly saved feels like one I failed to save. And I'm getting really frustrated. (The framerate hasn't gotten any better, either, but this isn't about that.)

It's like Game Freak (or whoever forced this thing out a year early, or both) never expected you to boot the game up again once you got bored of the Ace Academy Tournament, which the game acts like is the entire total of what you could want from being friends and "rivals for life" with your squad (I mean I'm the sicko that loves Tera Raids, so I'm not that bored, but still). It makes a bunch of implications that your adventure is just beginning, and then it totally just... isn't. Why is the E4 building closed? Why do you only rematch the gyms once? And most of all, for me personally: Why did we get access to our friends' rooms if there's nothing to do or talk about there? (Besides look for character study clues, which they have lots of)

All they could come up with when asked to write a newsletter email about what you can still do in S/V and why you should still be playing it was Raids. That was it. Remember when you had an endless challenge in the Tower/Maison that you could optionally take on with a bunch of story characters as your partners instead of alone, that motivated you to keep getting stronger bit by bit? Remember rematching gym leaders multiple times and watching their teams grow and evolve each time? Yeah, there's none of that here, because that would take more than a week to implement. If you want friends and you want battles, you'll have to do it yourself online now. They're not allocating any budget for that.

Your rival for life, who's so excited you're on her level now, who seems to have the passion and skill to be the your Battle Tower gameplay loop by herself if she wanted to, who battles you for hours offscreen with multiple teams, whose whole character arc is that she finally has someone she can do this with... is fully static, with one kinda mediocre team that never grows or changes. She can't keep up with you and doesn't know what items or EVs are. You have to get lucky to even see her at all. She is no more your rival than your Home Ec teacher is (no offense Saguaro, you're cool too). I think it's really, really sad.

I'm left nostalgic and pining to go back, having to cope through fanfic because my character can't spend the day with - or even so much as take a new trainer card photo with - the girl who said they might be her greatest treasure, without resetting my save, because she and the others are standing somewhere that the camera and internet features are both disabled.

Like, legitimately, I want to keep being friends with these kids the way we were before, and have the ability to do post-game stuff with them, like being able to go out and adventure together whenever in some basic, non-story capacity, or just, I don't know, maybe give them more than one line of dialogue in their rooms? I don't want a new region or new characters. Not yet, anyway.

I thought I was preordering the continuation of their story and rewarding the company for making me care about Pokemon so much again.

But, uh... I'm really worried that the people who own these characters do not care. And as I said on the trailer's comments before they turned them off (lol), I'll be pissed enough to not buy any more games if I'm right, and we're forced to abandon these poor kids. At the very least, it's some pretty garbage marketing to leave the possibility of that up in the air. If nothing else, that is a frustration that I'm going to keep talking about for a while, even if it ends up being fine.

I thought it was impossible, and I was being silly. Why not have our friends in cute new outfits as promo art when the DLC was first announced, and all they had was promo art? Seems like an easy slam dunk. Oh, they didn't yet? Well, I'm sure it'll happen eventually.

And then they weren't in the trailer either, months later. Are they trying to sell us on it or not?

The whole reason I want the DLCs. Still not a single word acknowledging them, just that little opening montage. Still no hints of how the DLCs have anything to do with Area Zero's ongoing story, either. How is a sea turtle linked with a landlocked crater?

So like... At this point I have to assume both DLCs start with you making your friends cry as they're left alone again, arbitrarily excluded from events they're more than qualified to be invited to, to make room for some new dweebs we don't need, who won't be given nearly enough time to be as compelling as Nemona, Arven, and Penny were, because that makes the trailer look more like a new game, and that's the only way they know how to advertise. More. New. Buy. Consume. Throw away. Buy. Consume. Throw away. I should assume this so that whatever we get can't be worse.

But they're probably not (self-aware enough / allowed / both) to write that. Your lonely / orphaned / anime-binging friends might just cheer you on for getting to go do something cool like being forced to train a new legendary because the story said so, then go back to being statues with as much relevance to your life as an NPC in a third story apartment that tells you what a hold item is.

Can't I just live in Paldea with my friends, in the version of the game we would have gotten if it was finished, instead of being pulled into these adventures for the sake of looking good in a trailer? (which it doesn't btw lol) It's not an unrealistic thing to want when that's what it briefly was, and I was so excited that it would keep being that I've been thinking about it this entire time.

...

I hope I'm wrong about all this, and next year I can look back on this post, happy that the DLC did actually allow us to continue to take care of these characters, conclude Area Zero's mysteries in a satisfying way, fix up some technical issues, let us relive some things that are currently once-only (including letting us see that photo album our character made but we had to screenshot ourselves), and make it fun to keep playing for years afterward, and let that be the model for games going forward, but uh...

They really are not showing me anything I care about in the game I desperately want to care about, that I saw - and wanted to defend - the heart in, despite the circumstances it was produced under, and that really worries and frustrates me. The surprisingly many great things about this game got my hopes up for an awesome postgame full of warm fuzzy feelings and cool things to do 8 months ago that just didn't deliver, and now, I'm not sure if they'll even let me pay for one, at this rate, because they're not advertising one.

Just throw us a scrap. If whoever's in charge here stops caring about this story, I won't care about the next one.

Anyone else feeling this?

#nemona #arven #penny pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon sv spoilers #nemona pokemon #arven pokemon #pokemon #pokemon dlc #pokemon sv dlc #uh what else #original content #nemonaposting #this was meant to be shorter than those threads but it wasn't oops #if i wanted to educate people who haven't played the game and add gifs it'd be much worse #before this point i was basically just keeping up with pokemon for the music and the gen-to-gen competitive patch notes #this shit changed everything and i don't want to treat it like it didn't. #this post now features even more complaining in it for the late readers #pokemon sv #pennyposting #arvenposting

[batmanego]

Re: Your post on struggling students - I don't want to assume what your experiences are but I am curious how you might critique or change special education specifically from your perspective. Asked as someone working in Special Ed studying for my certifications in ASD and emotional impairment.

Bonus points if your answer is actionable and not just a call for more resources/manpower. We know and I think in most settings even gen ed teachers are spread thin while by and large not having to worry about stuff like IEPs

while your tone in the last paragraph makes me think this is an over-defensive educator trying to defend the profession, i'll attempt to answer in good faith.

i wasn't a special ed student, nor did i ever say i was. in fact, my post was not even about just special education. it was more broadly about the abuses in the school system in general, and the isolation i and others have experienced for having non-typical high school experiences.

for the last five years, i've attended an alternative high school aimed primarily at disabled kids/kids with behavioral issues (a venn diagram with a lot of overlap, in my experience) -- essentially anyone who can't learn or function in a "normal" school environment. my experiences in a school aimed at and primarily populated by disabled students doesn't qualify me to talk about special education as a whole -- please take my thoughts on the matter with a grain of salt and ask people who were in special education and are willing to talk about it.

from what i've gathered, though, a major problem with special education is the isolation students experience from their peers. this is due to a number of factors (physical separation being one), and is made worse by the fact that special ed kids are looked down upon and ostracized by their peers. that's not... necessarily a fault of the educators, though i do think it should be the responsibility of parents and other adults in childrens' lives to educate them on the importance of kindness and respect towards disabled people.

there's also the problem of institutional abuse. sped kids are often abused by their teachers and are not believed and have little recourse. this is a problem in all education systems, but is often baked into special ed programs. i can't speak too much about this because, again, i am not in special ed. i have never been in special ed. i have friends who have been in special ed, and i am in a school primarily targeted at disabled/"difficult" students, but that is not a substitute for experience.

if any of my mutuals/followers with special education experience would like to chime in, please do! i'm not an expert and i love to learn.

[wistfulcynic]

to mark the anniversary of the historical Stede Bonnet’s birth I'd like to talk a bit about OFMD and age, specifically Stede and Ed’s ages. 

a lot has been made about this, and rightly so. The show gives us a beautiful love story, between two men in their 40s who have never been loved or in love before in their lives, who find their perfect matches in each other, who are so different but similar in key ways and who each idolise things the other sees as his flaws. It’s gorgeous, and it’s heartbreaking when they don’t see themselves as the other does, when they don’t communicate their feelings or even recognise them, and absolutely none of this would be as touching or, arguably, even possible if one or both of them were younger. It certainly wouldn’t be as impactful. 

yet we are clearly shown Stede’s gravestone, with the date of his birth. 29 July 1688, the actual date of the historical Stede Bonnet’s birth, which makes him 29 in 1717 when the story starts. This--showing the audience the grave and thereby making the birthdate canon--is such an interesting choice. For all that the show glories in anachronisms, its plot beats actually adhere pretty closely to the main historical events. Stede Bonnet did leave his wife and kids in 1717 to become a pirate, he did say he was uncomfortable in a married state. He did meet and form some sort of partnership with Blackbeard despite being a pretty useless pirate. The two sailed together for a time and then had a falling out, at which point Blackbeard did maroon some of Bonnet’s crew on a spit of sand. All of that is actual history, all OFMD did was say “okay but what if gay.” 

there is also a reasonably solid canon argument for Stede actually being 29. We see that his marriage is arranged, a thing that generally happened to younger people. His kids are young. It’s unlikely he’s been married longer than 10 years. His hair is blond, with no grey--in contrast to Ed’s salt-and-pepperbeard--and he has an exuberance that you could argue codes as relatively youthful, as well as his general naïveté, though of course that’s also a function of his sheltered life and privilege as a rich white man. 

if Stede is actually in his 40s then the timeline the show gives him simply doesn’t make sense. (What, for example, was he doing with his life in the 10+ years he’d have had to live as a full-fledged adult before being arranged into marriage?) Yet they choose to make an explicit point of it, while at the same time doing nothing to age down Rhys Darby other than dye his hair. Not only that but the character isn’t played as younger, not even a little bit, and that’s what makes this all super interesting for me. 

I'm a longtime reader of romance novels, and one of the most popular tropes especially in historical romances is the rake and the ingenue. The basic premise of this trope is that you have a man (in het romance it’s always the man) who’s world-weary, cynical, closed-off, emotionally cold (or stunted, or constipated, etc). He’s experienced in life but for some reason or other his experiences have been bad and that’s turned him into a dark, brooding sort of person who's miserable in a deeply dramatic way until the bright, sunshine-y heroine appears in his life and breaks through his shell to melt his icy heart. This heroine, the ingenue, is invariably young and innocent, frequently stubborn or hardheaded in a naive sort of way. She’s bright and optimistic or at least determined to do something highly impractical, which requires the rake to involve himself in order to “save” her from the consequences of her lack of worldly knowledge and experience. 

any of this sounding familiar? 

when done well the rake and the ingenue can be a compelling story but it is inherently unequal. The rake always has more money, experience, power, social capital than the ingenue. In OFMD of course Stede has more money and capital in certain social situations than Ed, but within the framework of the pirate world, Ed is vastly more experienced, more respected, more powerful and worldly. He knows how to pirate better than anyone, but he’s weary of it, grown bored and cynical. Until Stede shows up with his mad ideas and unique way of doing things and charms Ed, gives him a new perspective on things and a fresh breath of air in his stale life. It would be very easy to cast Ed in the role of rake and Stede as ingenue, but--and this is SUCH an interesting but--the show doesn’t do that. 

instead, they are portrayed as equals, very different but each in possession of something the other wants. Though they both idolise things about the other, there’s no imbalance in the way they approach each other, which is both absolutely a key factor in what makes their relationship so good but also something that wouldn’t work if there were a large age gap between them. 

historical Blackbeard was 8 years older than Bonnet, a biggish but not hugely significant gap. However we’re not shown his age in the show the way we are Stede’s, and Ed is quite clearly coded as mid-40s at least. Not just with the colour of his hair but also the reputation he’d need time first to build and then to grow bored by. A 29-year-old Stede and a 45-year-old Ed would look very different to an Ed and a Stede more or less of an age. It would look a lot more like a rake/ingenue scenario than the partnership of equals the show actually portrays. I’m very, very glad they chose the route they did. It was without question the correct decision. It just makes the decision to show Stede’s age while at the same time telling quite a different story a very, very interesting one. 

so happy birthday to OFMD Stede Bonnet and OFMD Stede Bonnet only (historical one please burn in hell) and his 45-is-the-new-29 vibe. Canon-typical paying-only-as-much-attention-to-history-as-we-decide-we-want-to, you love to see it.

#ofmd #meta #our flag means death #ofmd meta #our flag means death meta

[mermaidlighthouse]

This is the only time I will directly engage in the discourse around Izzy. 

I would like to propose a thought experiment. Are your perceptions of Izzy OR Ed and/or their relationship based SOLELY on canon (what we ACTUALLY see/hear on screen) or have you placed your assumptions of the relationship between them on that interpretation? What I mean to say is, did you decide that one of them was the instigator or the victim of the first blush of toxicity in their relationship? Did you decide that what we do actually see makes one or the other "worse"? Did you then extrapolate an opinion of either character (both?) based on that?

I ask because of course you did, that’s the nature of engaging with media, and because while we know they have a long history (years) canonically, there is no way for ANYONE in fandom to know how their relationship began or progressed. However, when we choose to base our assumptions on tropes whether they are of the biopic manager OR the oppressed second-in-command of the lunatic OR the spurned ex OR unrequited romantic love OR mentor/mentee or boss/employee power imbalance OR ANY trope it places a burden on the characters (BOTH Ed and Izzy) that the show does NOT address. This is headcanon and is perfectly fine (great even) but does not make it canon. The fact that many tropes could have viability is highly significant - it shows their relationship canonically is complicated.

For every "I egged him on for years even though I knew you'd outgrown him..." there's an "I need you here." For every "that's another toe" there's a "you've still got it." For every, I'm not actually going to tell you I have had a plan to get us out of this mess, that I technically got us into, this entire time because I'd rather watch you get angry and frustrated about not having a plan for surviving there's an "I should have let the English kill you". They both fed each other, impeded each other, hurt each other, they are tangled together (I mean this in an entirely platonic sense and why I keep saying Izzy functions narratively as an extension of Ed - and because like it or not Ed is the co-lead of the show - he matters more narratively).

At this point, we have the bare minimum of knowledge of their combined past and only TWO actual flashbacks of Ed BEFORE Izzy. We don’t know the dynamics of their past interactions/relationship. We don’t know how/WHY they have changed together and separately over this LONG ass time period. We don’t know the power fluctuations or lack thereof. It’s all whatever YOU perceive.

I am not saying that any interpretation or perception is better or worse than any other. 

I only ask that there be more nuance than X bad.

There are literally only 2 characters that I would classify as one-dimensional (Ricky and Nigel) EVERY other named character has more depth and motivations and it’s a disservice to the writers/creators/actors to flatten their characters because you don’t like an action they took/decision they made (even John Bartholomew is given more than a single note). 

In canon, BOTH Ed and Izzy are toxic to each other, that does not absolve either of their actions, but I will absolutely NOT engage in misery olympics. Attempting to litigate what constitutes as "more abusive" or "more toxic" is actually a disgusting approach to abuse and toxicity. You don't assign points to people's pain to determine that any party is better or worse off. This is especially the case because YOU DON’T KNOW what their past is; you have your interpretation and that’s fine but that does not condemn or absolve EITHER character. 

You don’t HAVE to like either of them or change your opinion of them. That’s not the point of this…the point is that EACH person in fandom is going to bring their unique perspective (which includes experiences, privileges, prejudices, and biases) and that means NO interpretation is the “correct” one. That’s the beauty of it. 

Fandom does not get to dictate to each other how to interpret a character but I would ask that we have a bit of maturity in allowing all the characters to have nuance and allow everyone their own perspective. Being critical of an aspect of a character doesn’t have to mean condemning them in their entirety.

This is not a justification to allow racism, misandry, classism, homophobia, ableism, misogyny, etc. to cloud your interpretations (those should be called out and if you can't or won't engage with how your version seems to stem from a privileged perspective then nothing I say is going to matter anyway).

As a side note, if you are willing to absolve one character of their actions because “It’s pirates Carol, of course they kill people” OR “it's called drama and creating tension” then you have NO leg to stand on in not giving that grace to ALL CHARACTERS.

The last thing I will say and I say it with love and compassion is this: no matter what you may or may not identify with in the show, this wasn’t created with you specifically in mind. As much as there are things that feel universal in all marginalized spaces, that doesn’t make it so. Please don’t invalidate other people’s experiences because they don’t conform with yours. The writers/creators/actors come from many marginalized groups and intersectionalities but they are also creating a show that has to have general appeal, they are not beholden to fandom ideas and spaces, we are not the ONLY audience. And being critical of your fave is not a condemnation of you.

#the fact that at least HALF of this also applies to how people interpret Stede’s actions is very depressing tbh #blackbeard #ed teach #edward teach #izzy hands #the new unicorn #our flag means death #ofmd season 2 #ofmd #ofmd s2

[furiousgoldfish]

I’ve managed to move out (staying with my extended family rn) and even though I made it out of that environment, I still have so much wrong with me. Anxiety, depression, ocd, ed’s. Anxiety being my worst issue. Just started college online this month and I still feel like I’m far from functioning normally again. I don’t want to use what I went through as an excuse though. It’s been about a year and I just want to be normal and socialize and not obsess over problems that aren’t even there. The idea of relying on anyone scares me and I’m trying to be as independent as when I was younger but how can I do that when everything sends me into a spiral. I quit my first job four days in even though everything was perfect. I couldn’t eat or sleep or think straight. Still have to retake my permit test. It’s been the definition of crippling but I know I could do better. And I’m trying. How can I just move on? I’m so sick of trauma being my entire identity. Does therapy really work? But I’m scared of taking meds because of my ed. I’m beyond lost.

P.s. Your blog has been incredibly helpful throughout all of this. One of the only times I’ve felt understood. Thank you <3

Unfortunately, it's the worst of trauma that we deal with after moving away. It's not an excuse, and you can't force yourself to be okay after just one year. What is happening with you is a proof that you've been put thru severe trauma and that it's not something you can quickly heal. I understand it's endlessly frustrating, devastating, and feels hopeless that you can't act normal, can't be completely independent and you feel awful relying on others - that does feel horrible.

I believe that what you need is more time, and more support. Even if right now you can't handle having a job, it doesn't mean it will be this way forever. Even if right now everything feels wrong, it won't stay that way forever. Recovery happens slowly and you have to accept it's own terms, and not push yourself so hard it brings you hopelessness when it doesn't work out. I think you need a space where you only do things you feel comfortable and safe doing, and then when you're able to relax, you can expand that space so that more things are comfortable and safe. When you're coming from that kind of space, you can gain stability and feel more confident, and also make a better risk assessment in what is currently okay for you to try, without falling into despair if it doesn't work out.

Also people quit jobs, mess up tests, have to retake permits, struggle with taking meds, even without severe trauma, and it's fairly common. You're only feeling such strong guilt and shame over it because the trauma amplifies your every negative experience into a disaster. It doesn't mean you're a failure, and it doesn't mean it will always be this way. Don't lose hope, give yourself more time and patience, with time you will manage to do everything right.

Also, give yourself lots of credit for escaping abusive environment! That is a big step that a lot of people struggle for a long time to take, and it's something you did, that is pretty incredible! You already are doing everything right, you're only human, and you can do only as much as a human being in your situation can. You're doing the best you can.

#toxic guilt #toxic shame #escaping abuse #aftermath of trauma #aftermath of abuse

[birlwrites]

I was wondering what Dumbledore's role as chief warlock of the wizegamot means in this universe?

ok the short boring answer is that i forgot that was a thing 😬

the LONG MORE INTERESTING answer is going to be me talking through how i can retcon that - which i absolutely can because we haven't really gotten into wizengamot politics in ttdl yet!!! so the only people who will know that i totally forgot will be the people who see this post afhslgkshkgjskhldjfs

SO. my immediate thought with 'chief warlock' is that dumbledore is kind of a master of ceremonies. he's not a wizengamot lord - his job is to introduce bills, hold the votes, and all sorts of things like that which are mainly ceremonial/logistic but in the hands of someone particularly motivated CAN be political tools. once again taking inspiration from the united states congress because i know how that works and i don't know how other governments work, dumbledore can control what order bills get introduced in, whether they get introduced in the first place, etc.

now, there's definitely a failsafe. the wizengamot would not stand for some plebeian controlling what they get to vote on. so if they can get together a critical mass of lords, they can force through a vote even if dumbledore doesn't want to introduce the bill. it means there's a tug of war between dumbledore and the dark lords for power

next question: how did dumbledore BECOME the chief warlock? my guess is that it's an appointed position by the minister of magic. at the moment, that's harold minchum, i believe, soon to be replaced by millicent bagnold (probably as the war gets worse). idk when exactly that will happen, i'll figure out a moment that works with the plot

dumbledore's been chief warlock for a WHILE, though. minchum reappointed him because he's functionally an institution. once he defeated grindelwald, plenty of people were calling for him to run for minister - he didn't do that because he's smarter than that, but he did accept the position of chief warlock when it was offered to him several years later, and that's a big part of how he stays in the public eye. (i think he probably also writes op-eds whenever there's something Sufficiently Important to write about)

in atfhv, wizengamot sessions happen twice a year, in fall and spring, and they run for exactly 2 months each (march 7 to may 7, september 7 to november 7). in that time, dumbledore's quite busy, seeing as he has that AND a school to run. plus a war to fight.

and that means that orion knows dumbledore PERSONALLY. as does pretty much the whole wizengamot, and not just because they were students when dumbledore was a professor

which now makes me really want to have orion do a take your child to work day in which regulus casually shows up to a wizengamot session and stares dumbledore down the entire time. the dark lords are pleased with this behavior. he clearly knows who the enemy is

#dark lord wip #should i make an inbox tag #atfhv worldbuilding

[gonegirl1996]

My first day of class • spring semester • senior year • computer science

- i originally wanted to get 8 hours of sleep but I ended up with 5 hours which I am okay with. I am getting there.

- I woke up at 7:15. I hit snooze maybe like once or twice I don’t remember. But I’m proud of myself because it takes me forever to leave my bed because I like to just lay there and throw myself into the void and then rush and panic when I realize how late I am to something. But this time I woke up in the sweet spot where there were no harsh repercussions (only thing was I didn’t get time to brush my hair). Even though it felt like I was doing mental gymnastics at getting up I liked seeing the positive consequences. And it is a good re-enforcement to do it again

First class:

- I was 3 minutes early to my first class and my lab partner from last semester moved her seat to sit next to me which was a nice warm feeling

- I was interactive with the professor and answered questions in the first class

- I unconsciously zoned out during the lecture and when I zoned back in I wanted to go into a shame spiral but once I sensed my body sensations I stopped myself and focused back in during the lecture

- I also had the urge to crumble my notes and get angry inwards towards myself cuz my notes were ugly and I had tons of scribbles and wanted to rewrite my notes in a prettier way but I recalled that I did that in the past for decades and it only lead to exhaustion and wasting my time. I also reminded myself that my notes are good enough and I had fairly understood the lecture. There’s no need for me to write detailed notes cuz it’s a computer science course and not a note-heavy course like biology or English. Comp sci Notes are meant to serve as guides

- I zoned off again and unconsciously began clicking on the keyboard and clicked the blackboard link for my next class while in my first class: saw that we had to work in groups of 5 for class #2 and caught myself about to panic so I stopped myself and told myself that if I panic I’ll end up fully missing out on class #1’s lecture and that class #2 hasn’t even arrived yet. I am draining my mental juice. I’ll save my breakdown for later when it’s time to go to that class. So I zoned back again and paid attention.

- class #1 was a success

Second class:

- the class I was dreading. We have to work in a group of 5 and make a functional app using front end and back end languages and some other techy shit. First of all I’m scared to talk to people whom I don’t know and I was scared that I’ll end up with no group. But I actually had people come up to me and ask me to in their group. They look pretty promising too. I had one person purposely sit next to me and we talked and laughed. I was surprised that people actually wanted to talk to me and have me work with them. One thing I noticed with courses as you get higher and higher in your major that you start to build a reputation. It makes sense why I had no one to talk to and felt like a loner during my lower level and gen Ed classes cuz I had no existing friends in my courses and people don’t talk to you if they don’t know you.

- so we had our groups and every thing feels in place so I decided not to burden myself by overthinking about the semester project so I’m letting myself be in the present

After:

- after my morning classes ended up I had a long gap so I wanted to rush to studying ahead and code but I’m going to let myself hang out in the campus and finish reading a book and text and meet up with school friends as I am waiting for my next class

- it was a pretty chill day. My emotions felt at bay most of the times and if they weren’t then I was able to easily get them to be at bay without exerting more energy. My semester coursework is (subjectively) chill and it might be the most chillest semester ever cuz I am chill and my focusing levels are chill LOL

[sixstepsaway]

Fun thought exercise: Izzy dies. Hanged as a pirate, taking a prize, at Ed’s own hands, whatever. How does Ed take it? Pre-Stede, post-Stede, full Kraken, what have you. - ripple

so my first thought, midway through my music asks, when this came into my email was: you and i have wildly differing ideas of a fun thought exercise because this fucking hurts

but then i remembered i am a ✨ slut for angst ✨ and immediately started thinking about this while replying to other things

and the thing is, see, the thing is, there's a couple of different ways to look at this? and then within that we have to narrow down: hanged, prize, ed's hands

the first way is with only what we have in canon, devoid of extra conjecture

and, devastatingly, I think with only what we have in canon and how the text has, so far, treated Izzy, it's likely to be "ed's a bit sad but he gets over it pretty fast"

That isn't to say that if Izzy got killed in s2, Ed would be fine - I doubt it, because the writers know their past. I'm just saying that with only what is in s1, he'd be fine. He was going to run off to China with Stede in 1x09. Out of sight is out of mind, he'd be broken up for a day or so and then move on, probably by fixating on Stede, idk.

If he killed Izzy himself, it would depend on if Izzy 'deserved it'? If Izzy didn't deserve it and Ed was allowed to see that, he'd realize he's just like his father and go on a redemption arc. If Izzy did deserve it (mutiny, treachery, tried to kill Stede again, whatever) then it'd be just something a pirate has to do. After all, as Jack said: "we're all in various stages of fucking each other over".

Now, with the benefit of the contextual meta reads, we have the second way, which is:

Hanged: I think Ed would be fucking furious, and I think he'd take his wrath out on whichever King ordered it, so I assume the British tbh. He'd go absolutely full Kraken, he'd get his actually dangerous pirates together and he would go fucking ham on every English ship he could find until eventually they all got together to finally kill Blackbeard.

I think he wouldn't be upset or depressed, he'd go straight to rage as a coping mechanism, and he'd never come back from it, especially without Izzy there to go, "Hey, going deliberately after the English? Not your greatest plan."

Prize: If Ed ordered it, he'd be devastated and guilty as fuck and it would break him (again). Whether he'd jump to "broken so I went Kraken on everyone as though it was their fault" or "broken and does not get out of bed for a year" is anyone's guess and I personally cannot say without, like, writing 2000 words leading up to that moment (which I am not doing today), but I think he'd just snap like a twig. Even worse is if he ordered it and Izzy died a) because of his orders and b) because of the toe thing.

If he was still in Kraken-mode, eh... I think it would snap him out of that and into something much darker but less violent? But it'd still be Really Bad for everyone involved.

I do not think he would ever truly recover from either, but I do think he would eventually reach a state (with Stede) where he was a functional person again and finding small happinesses in his life.

Ed's Hands: This one is the actual fucking worst so thanks, thanks so much, thanks, I'm in pain. And cw for his canon suicidal ideation.

I think he'd kill himself.

I think if he killed Izzy, unless it was for a very specific reason (for example we're talking five years after the toe incident, and Izzy has, instead of a redemption arc, gone on a full-blown villain arc, he's killed half the crew and he's going to murder Stede and Ed eventually - which, by the way, is not going to happen in canon lmao) he would be confronted strongly by the fact he's worse than his father who he killed to protect his mother.

Whether he and Izzy are romantic/sexual or not, there's a level of domesticity there, and I think his mind has snapped so far in 1x10 that he doesn't see it? But I think if he killed Izzy and had to feel Izzy go cold under his hands and realize he went too far (something he was likely terrified his father would do this mother), I think he'd just go kill himself.

Stede might be able to stop him? Might be able to dig him out of that particular hole? But I don't really see how, unless Stede pulled the, "You're not married to Izzy! See, it's totally different," and Ed was dumb enough to believe him, possibly in a desperate attempt to find solace.

If Stede wasn't there, then yeah, he'd go off himself because that's how he handled his father, too.

And finally we have with general fanon feels and how I think it would go, plus conjecture from context cues in canon:

Hanged: Similar rage, but I think Stede would stop him somehow and they'd do some fuckery against the English that, in some way, avenged Izzy. And then Ed would be in deep mourning for a long time, and realize what he's lost. It'd be really fucking painful and Stede would have to handle Ed mourning what amounts to his other partner, an unrequited partner he's suddenly aware of the loss of, now he can never get him back.

I also feel like if Izzy got hanged as a pirate, it would be a direct relation to saving Ed somehow, which... ouch. So Ed wouldn't want to kill himself, that would void Izzy's sacrifice, and Stede would be very, very thankful to Izzy for saving Ed, which would give him a whole new twisty thing to feel about Izzy.

Prize: Pretty much the same as the above. I don't see any place to change this one actually, but then I really like the canon contextual clues of Ed and Izzy and such, so.

Ed's Hands: Same as above too, honestly. I don't have anything to add to "Ed realizes he's worse than his father and metes out the same justice against himself". I imagine he'd find a way to set Stede free first, though I don't know how. He just wouldn't want to drag Stede down with him, that would defeat the point of killing the abusive partner, would it not?

thanks so much for giving me this incredibly painful thing to think about, ripple!

#ripple anon #ask #ofmd #edward teach #izzy hands #blackhands #steddyhands

[sassydefendorflower]

hey rora 7, 17, and 37 (no pressure tho :smek: )

Roma!!! Hell yeah!!! (and put the pressure on -smek-)

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

That's an evil question and you know it ;D Well... let's see where I shall begin.

There is, of course, i am apart (everything is connected) - i put a lot of thought into the worldbuilding for that fic. The idea of the belief system of the person influencing their metaphysical connection to the universe and as such alchemy and alkahestry was something I created for this fic, even if it has since firmly morphed into a general headcanon. This fic is also doing some stuff politics-wise that I really like - some of it is more subtle, like the hints on how I imagine the Imperial Court System in Xing to function, and some of it is more overt: the real troubles of slowly changing a country and returning to peace after years and years of war.

I am also deeply proud of my worldbuilding in an undertaking of deconstruction - more commonly called the Eastern Liberation Front AU. Because in this I get to play around with background characters, their world views, and the workings of an anti-establishment movement. My POV character (mostly Ed) doesn't see the world in all it's complexities, but that doesn't mean they aren't there. If anything, this is something that allows me to explore Scar's backstory, Shou Tucker, and even Roy and Riza's relationship through a different lens - and with that comes a lot of worldbuilding and geopolitics :D

But I can also mix it up with a bit of DC! A Constellation of Complications is a cyberpunk space-noir case fic in which Dick Grayson, bar owner and spy, has to solve a series of cyborg murders. This fic was a lot of fun to create because it deals with the question "what is a human? what is a person? and what is a cyborg?" only to fundamentally decide: it is all arbitrary but the system is so broken, we have to act within it. The laws are unjust, society broken, and yet... our protagonists can't escape those definitions and secrets and consequences. Lots of fun with that worldbuilding for SURE!

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

-sobs in my pillow in sorrow-

I mean... the Eastern Liberation Front AU is right there. This AU is so large and detailed in my head... I could write a thousand fics about and it would still not be enough. Especially since the fandom doesn't seem to share my unadulterated joy about... Ed and Al as "terrorists" and enemies of the state.

But there is more! Of course! Roy and Riza reaching their goal and then having to deal with facing the consequences of their actions - in a way that respects the good they did since then, but really delves into the nitty-gritty of "some things are just unforgivable"... and that deals with how liking someone makes it hard for the people around them to acknowledge their faults and misgivings and that that's--- okay. This one is truly more a vibe AU than anything else...

Super specific and somewhat cringe.... The five sacrifices get teleported to 1915 Europe instead when Father tries to teleport them to his lair - and now they are in our world, in the middle of a war, without alchemy (Shamballa-style). BUT what makes this AU way weirder and funkier and niche... the Truth basically sent them there with a "once you manage to find a way how to stop father sucessfully, i'll get you back but I really don't want father to eat me so.... have fun" and now the five sacrifices are immortal... (or something similar enough) and stuck in a different time/world. And then... this somehow turned into a Marvel/FMAB crossover? As in Roy and the Elrics are involved in the Super Solider Program, but the Elrics leave because they don't actually want to help any government at all, and they then just travel the world, join universities, and make low scale trouble until in 2014 the Avengers notice a similar heat signature from some files in 1915 and search for them to figure out what the fuck is going on.

Is this specific enough? :D

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?

Hm... to stay on the FMAB train... Hero Of The People, the second part of my Eastern Liberation Front AU. It's the Shou Tucker incident but in an alternate universe in which Ed and Al never joined the military. Instead, they end up at Shou Tucker's place after one of their informants tells them about his library - they have to be sneaky because Roy and Riza are hot on their tails after Ed almost killed Hawkeye during an alteration in a train, and Nina is a breath of fresh air (but we all know how that story ends).

I like it a lot because it plays around with Ed being a lot more angry and unrefined than he is in canon - and yet he and Al still want to save little girls and learn how to change the laws of the world. They are the same, and yet their different story changed them and the world around them. Also... Scar's there and that encounter does indeed go very different than it does in canon.

I don't know--- I just have an eternal soft spot for that story and the world it is set in.

Thank you SO MUCH ROMA!!! <3<3<3

[ask me a question for fic writers]

#roma107 #ask game #fanfic ask game #fmab #fma #edward elric #alphonse elric #THANK YOU SO MUCH LOVE!!!

[nightingaleflow]

hey there good author!! congrats on finishing your latest!!

gaara having the slightest tilt to his smile as he calmly talks to the representatives of konoha, barely seeing lee's darkened, greedy-yet-patient eyes from the corner of his own; -- it's been too long since he's felt the soothing flecks, rasp of sand-grit accompanying lunging towards the kazekage in his private chambers, smooth ribbons of white stretched between the deceptively soft joints of his thighs, his sides--

heh, uh, anyway - that got away from me. silk ribbons shibari with slender stiletto heels?

Thank you! <3 Hopefully it'll be up this weekend.

I also love how you know exactly how to appeal to my thirsty ass, nonnie.

But before we begin, a quick Sex Ed With Nightingale moment:

MINORS DNI/NOT SFW

~

There is obviously a certain level of risk with all bondage activities, which is why communication and safety gear are important. However, using any slippery fabrics, such as silk or satin, as your binds is more dangerous. Since the fabric is slippery, the ribbons are more likely to slip and the knots to tighten. This can lead from mild discomfort all the way up to air/blood flow being cut off if it slips in the wrong spot.

Please exercise caution and have functional scissors on hand should you elect to use these materials.

Ok? Ok. Now back to the prawns.

~

God, can you imagine how frustrated Lee and Gaara must have gotten when they were still living in separate villages? Only seeing each other in person three or four times a year, having to be more formal than either would like in letters (what if the letter was intercepted?), not having access to telephones until Lee had already moved? Of course, they're shinobi and they live busy lives, but it didn't stop the angst of being separated from seeping into their very souls.

Of course, that all changed when one had an excuse to be in the other's village. Lee would be so excited on the way to Suna, though he'd wave it off with just being excited for a new mission. (He wasn't fooling Tenten, she knew full well why he was so excited)

They'd arrive after three long, agonizing days. And then they'd arrive at the Kazekage Tower to deliver the scroll/message, and then Gaara would be right there. Right in front of Lee. So close he could reach out and touch if he wanted (and god did he want).

Lee knew from the way Gaara's face subtly changed upon seeing him that he was having similar thoughts. But they both played their parts, Lee standing by in silence as Gaara thanked them for the message before encouraging them to get some rest and enjoy some time in the village before returning.

Once Lee's teammates were gone though, Lee was pinning Gaara against the wall and drinking him in like the last drop of water in the desert. All it took was one touch of his sandy skin and Lee felt like he was drowning.

Somehow they would stumble their way upstairs, where Gaara always kept the drawer by his bed fully stocked with all the supplies they could ever need. It would take them a while to get to the drawer though, as they worked through their months of separation by touching each other as much as they could.

Once they finally calm down, then they break out the ties, Lee binding Gaara with white ribbons. Lee thinks Gaara looks beautiful anyway, but like this, wrapped up like a Rinne gift…he's the most gorgeous thing he's ever seen.

They experiment and play. Lee has Gaara walk in his ribbons in a pair of stilettos, and the shoes just add to Gaara's sex appeal. They try new patterns. Gaara even gets to tie Lee up (and agrees, Lee is already perfect but the ribbon just enhances that).

Is there work to be done? Yes.

Is Gaara going to ignore it so he can spend one day enjoying the company and body of the person he loves the most? Absolutely.

#always enjoy an excuse to write about both my husbands #thirst hours #thirst post #sexy no jutsu #minors dni #not sfw #nsft #GaaLee #Gaara #Rock Lee #sex ed with nightingale #ask nightingale #anon

[enthusispastic]

so what do you teach? why did you choose it? how did you get there? what do you love/hate about it? i’m also a teacher (preschool) trying to figure out my path

I currently teach mostly middle school science, though I have also taught high school biology and other life/earth sciences and high school theater and speech. I chose these subjects because I love them deeply. I chose to teach middle school and high school because teenagers are really cool people and working with them is very rewarding to me. They can connect with the subject on a deep and amazing level and can connect between subjects in a really cool way. Plus they're just cool and fun and funny.

I got into teaching in a really conventional way. I went to college for education and got my BS in secondary ed in my subjects. I was already planning to do science, but I got into theater during college and added that one later in my college career. Since I went to a religious school and started my career in religious private school, they had a call/placement program and that's how I got my first job. After stuff at my first school got shitty and we moved back to my wife's hometown, I applied to my current school and got the job because my arts background set me apart for their program (arts integration focus).

I LOVE working with kids. It's an energy drain to be sure, but the everyday functions of teaching lessons, organizing labs, working with students, and heck even grading are all somewhere between fine and awesome. If that was all there was I'd love it. My current school has a huge community of neurodiverse kids and nerds of every stripe and staying connected to a community of young neurodiverse, queer, and artsy nerd kids by default of the job is heartwarming to say the least. I love seeing kids grow, and the "lightbulb" moments almost make me feel like maybe I don't want to quit at the end of this year. But...

I CANNOT continue teaching though, because that's not all there is. Important and necessary functions of the job that are extraneous to classroom teaching pull me down so bad. I can't keep up with lesson plan documentation, differentiation documentation, constant staff meetings, IEP/504 meetings that pull me out of class, curriculum development, politely kissing admin ass (moreso at my last school than current) to keep my job safe, dealing with parent demands and complaints, keeping up school communication culture, preparing materials for various conferences and showcases, attending school events to "support a culture of school spirit" and every other thing that teaching does to eat your life whole. My disability (ADHD) definitely plays a part here, but even if I did have a typical brain, teaching is a career where you have to give up your own life and individuality, and do it for an audience of people who are VERY often not remotely grateful for it, or only performatively grateful one/two weeks per year. Admin and parents all want to tell teachers how to do their jobs despite limited or no experience, and that's another kind of exhausting. Kids may be cool, but they're also people who are learning their social stuff, and a lot of times that means that they don't know how to be kind or respectful or decent to teachers. I try to be patient and respectful about it and guide them to understanding, but through no fault of the kids' that is not something that a teacher can do 5 days a week for months and not feel like we're dying.

Anyway I hope that helps you. It certainly helped me to put it all out there.

#teacher

[shawnjacksonsbs]

Part- a, earlier

Cogito, ergo sum 8-8-21

“I think therefore I am” - René Descartes

Everything(s) that we do is just that. Literally a thing, that we do. It's a way of passing through our very short time here. From painting the Sacellum Sixtinum, to coaching little league baseball, to staying up all night smoking crack in a basement surrounded by people who correlate the word struggle to mean a way outside of themselves, but it's more about the -what- we do rather than the -what for-. Which, for those of us lucky enough to want more out of this life, perhaps it comes about at a later time as an internal journey, like it did for me, and millions of other . . . soul searchers. Soul searchers? Yeah, soul searchers.

I am because I can see that I am?

Yes, but no. I am because it’s obvious that I can see that I am now, but I am . . .even before I knew that I was too.

I read somewhere that the main function of our physical being is to haul the mind from appointment to appointment, that from the neck down we are just a means to an end. True? I mean maybe, even for me to see it.

The heart that I so passionately write about using and/or trying to use better, isn’t actually in your chest by the way. It's in your mind. The ability to reason, the ability to feel, etc, is from the organ inside your head.

The beat in your chest, which is absolutely important too, that implies purpose, is hyperbole, in my opinion. The only heart I'm concerned with when writing and living as an example of how to be kind, why to love my neighbors, and to objectify my gratitude, is the one found upstairs behind my eyes. Trust and believe that.

We can only love life in direct correlation to our level of perception, and that ability to reason that I always talk about. The heart and the mind are one and the same my friends. Parts, or pieces of the whole.

1 part heart + 1 part mind = 1 whole Shawn

I think that all those years I spent lost, and the more recent years that I've been trying to decipher ways of aligning them {the heart and mind}, were just to realize now that I was looking at them all wrong. They are not separate, except maybe as ideas. That realization is how I blended them together. It's a process. I still have a ways to go of course, but . . . It's why I believe it gets easier for me all the time. Because I know the connection between thinking and feeling is the source of our light. It's too important. And the level of brightness, or dimness, is up to us. Up to us to better understand that connection for ourselves. Patiently waiting for others to arrive is another lesson in, and of itself.

This learn•ed move, means that even though you couldn't see it before, because actions speak louder than words, that that feeling inside of me that has always been there, has, in fact, been me the whole time. Granted I had to change me but still . . . me nonetheless.

I am sorry, so very sorry for all those I hurt before, and as unfortunate as it is, the pain of me hurting over the pain of hurting others brought me to this point right here, limiting those deathbed regrets, and living life for love and hoping each day my journey helps me discover and uncover new and exciting things, mostly within, but hey . . .how I feel inside is why I am to you. That’s a thing to behold too. Lol Why I am to you, or why you are to me. Life should be lived as meaningfully as possible. Don’t you think?

Reconciling the heart and mind, is even more important than say that of the mind and body. I'd argue that without the former the latter isn’t completely available.

This reconciling holds actual resources used to differentiate between feelings, and how we feel about everything to include other human beings. Don't waste your resources on mindless, empty bullshit. Remember that life is a limited time offer. Compassion and empathy, for example, would seem like all heart, but without our ability to reason and judge, how would we know it means to care right? Its both. One compliments the other, in almost all of the most important aspects of our lives as humans.

The collective human race has such low expectations of one another these days that it's hard to evolve as a whole though. Individually we stunt growth as well because alone we are limited. We need others. Plain and simple. When we start to do better by each other, we'll be able to start holding higher expectations. Not the other way around. Better standards should be earned, like respect. Right? We show respect first then expect respect in return. Do better for better. We share this little planet and our time here with so many people. Why then is there so much hate? It’s crazy right?

If more people understood, and cared, what others feel, and not just about themselves. . . oh the changes that could happen. So, let’s continue to be kind, or at the very least be civil, and share your love and your laughter with the world as a whole. Then, together, we can light the way for more.

Until next week;

“I feel therefore. . . I really am” – Shawn Jackson