#even if it takes years

[anrisimps]

After the news that lcf is getting serialized I've realized that the world is indeed a better place and my dream of Turning physical copy might come true some years later if I start early

#ONE DAY ILL HAVE MY NOVEL #EVEN IF IT TAKES YEARS #Used up all my email accs... #And ill do it every month (if they do hold a survey every month idk) #Turning #Turning novel #터닝

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

#mental health #mental health support #positivity #if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them! #i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all.. #...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in... #...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air... #...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life... #...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with... #...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it... #...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it #i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive #unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better

[salt-baby]

yes, doctors suck, but also "the medical ethics and patient interaction training doctors receive reinforces ableism" and "the hyper competitive medical school application process roots out the poor, the disabled, and those who would diversify the field" and "anti-establishment sentiment gets applications rejected and promotions requests denied, weeding out the doctors on our side" and "the gruesome nature of the job and the complete lack of mental health support for medical practitioners breeds apathy towards patients" and "insurance companies often define treatment solely on a cost-analysis basis" and "doctors take on such overwhelming student loan debt they have no choice but to pursue high paying jobs at the expense of their morals" are all also true

none of this absolves doctors of the truly horrendous things they say and do to patients, but it's important to acknowledge that rather than every doctor being coincidentally a bad person, there is something specific about this field and career path that gives rise to such high prevalence of ableist attitudes

and I WILL elaborate happily

#theres so much that contributes to this #and its such a traditional field that any change takes ten years to take effect even when its not as controversial as disability rights #ive no lost love for doctors as a whole #but the deeper causes here need to be examined to understand how this problem manifested and what can be done to fix it #disability #chronic illness #ableism #premed #medicine #salt baby talks

[rains-inky-mind]

Ding!

Heart skips

Heart sinks

Tiny white and red box

An outlined M

Sink, sink, sink

Click

Skip

Small line, another name

Beat, beat, beat

Click

Dear...

Sink

After reading...

Sink

After considering...

Sink

I've decided...

Skip

#more on the saga of rain seeking an agent #my heart skips every time my phone goes off #it sinks every time i see its a literary agent #it's gonna happen eventually #even if it takes years #...right? #rain posts #writeblr #writer #rain talks #twfa

[inkskinned]

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

#warm up #this isn't good #writeblr #this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3 #but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker #and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS #the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!? #..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much. #on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt #and medical debt #i will put that first little bit of cash #into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments) #i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option #but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver #oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs

[catmask]

sometimes while i think about that while a lot of adults did not treat me very well as a kid i also get a lot of 'in hindsight this person was so good to me and i didnt even realize it until now' as an adult. today i was thinking about how the first anime convention i ever went to was when i was 10 and i asked the man working the manga cafe what manga was/what a good place to start was (because the con was very overstimulating for me and i had gotten lost) and he asked how old i was before recommending yotsuba and asking if i wanted any water or something to eat. its really simple but theres a lot of bad things that couldve happened or he could've been careless in his recommendation, but instead yotsuba has remained one of my favorite manga for years, and probably a large portion of why i continue to read manga as an adult... i think adults who try to involve kids in the world safely/kindly even in little ways make so much more of a difference than they ever really know.

#and i know that sounds silly like YES. it was just a bookr ecommendation #but i feel like a lot of people either dont really care about whats a good starting point for younger kids in their shared fan spaces #or dont really take the care to recognize different peoples ages would effect what they would both enjoy or #be capable of engaging with #not to mention theres a lot of manga that would NOT have been appropriate for a 10 year old to read #so the fact that he askedd and even asked what sort of thing i liked at the time #was very sweet. i think about him a lot and i hope hes doing well #txt #scratchpost

[mey-rin-is-fabulous]

I love my mom but her money spending habits are awful. MLMs and junk food spending are the worst of it.

But what bugs me the most is she can buy herself boxes of flakies and what have you, tubs of macaroni salad every single time she gets off work and she only gets me the occasional bag of chips. It just bugs me so much like oh I'll make a list of stuff to get so we have more variety yadda yadda yadda, she never does. And I mention time and time again hey if you see anything from this brand maybe pick me up something.

I'm GF so she's the only one eating the crap she buys.

Yet I can go spend a weekend with my dad and he has no issue picking me up fresh bakery bread and when I go in a store with him he has no issues picking me up even a box of crackers.

And there's no point telling my mom because she'll probably forget

Still waiting on my goddang muffin tin and kitchen scale(someone I follow has all her recipes by weight and I really want to give her recipes a try *Becky Excell)

I've also mentioned to my mom that I prefer having snacky foods on hand.

#kei vents #and that's why i buy myself things i want #even if it takes years #because no ones going to get me stuff even if i ask or mention it

[chloesimaginationthings]

Who would win: FNAF rabbit virus or one sleepy boy?

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #mike schmidt #fnaf vanny #fnaf vanessa #glitchtrap #fnaf #fnaf movie #security breach #fnaf help wanted #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #Been a sec since I’ve last drawn these two #Glitchtrap loses again #to be fair though Vanny probably hasn’t slept in years #so I think she deserves a little sleep #taking mikes example of sleeping on the job 💜 #Mike doesn’t even have to be awake to win against Glitchtrap rip bozo

[hellspawnmotel]

I can't think of a nutcracker pun

#deltarune #gaster #kris dreemurr #susie deltarune #noelle holiday #spade king #the nutcracker #art tag #i dont think clara and the prince's relationship HAS to be romantic (i was originally going to make them noelle and spamton) #but if you want this to be kralsei it can be #was originally gonna draw this 2 years ago but. better late than never #(edit) i missed coloring a couple things on noelle TWICE this is why you take a minute to look over everything even when youre tired #ALSO I FORGOT TO TAG #RALSEI #crossover

[raziraphale]

Tag your age if you wanna bc I was just thinking about how I have used floppy disks before (I'm 25 and used them in elementary computer lab) but my 22 y.o. brother hasn't which is so weird to me like 3 years isn't a long time at all to me

#I'm wondering if im an outlier in the 25 year old demographic bc i remember bringing my floppy disk home from 2nd grade #and my dad laughing and being like our computer doesn't even have a drive for it anymore #like we didn't HAVE to use them at home bc obviously not everyone had a home computer #but it was a kind of 'if you have a computer bring this to your parents and they can demonstrate how it works!' #'look how you can take your files home isn't tech amazing!' #but i just learned that the school had old computers lol #polls #reilly.txt

[luyo-mi]

🐙❤️

#may my future riddle and azul book 6 battles be easy and not cause me mental pain #happy new years my children #we made it wooo #🥳🎉🎉🎉👏🎊 #time to spend my new years taking a nap #goodnight my loves ❤️ #kisses all around #twisted wonderland #riddle rosehearts #azul ashengrotto #azul has contacts in okay I don’t wanna hear it #ID ONT KNOW HOW TO DRAW GLASSESS #also don’t even question the tentacles bc even idk where they’re coming for #I meant from sad face #we’ll say it’s magic #why are the emojis so bi gtf

[dragonpyre]

Reverse Robin au but the ages aren't changed. Just adoption order.

#bruce rocks back up in gotham with a baby damian and immediately starts his crusade as batman #or maybe he rocks back up #takes in Duke after the first major villain attack #and then a few months later damian gets dropped off #then so on and so forth #until 12 year old dick grayson performs in Gotham with his parents at Haly's Circus #aka Bruce Wayne just has a lot of essentially toddlers #in my mind it's battinson which makes this even more funny #dc #text post #reverse robins #batkids #batfamily #batfam #batdad #bruce wayne

[gorofeet]

Yuri on Ice officially going down in history today as the most insane fumble of a franchise that i’ve ever seen in my life

#yuri on ice #yoi #idk bro something about holding onto the movie for 7 years even though youve known for at least 4 that its not happening #fumbled the yaoi bag #lord take yuri katsuki’s suffering and give it to itadori #see you next level am i right guys #idk i kinda figured it was not happening once they picked up csm but yk. i was huffing cope #yuri katsuki #viktor nikiforov #time for the annual rewatch i suppose !!

[radiance1]

Damian: [brushing his teeth]

The shadow hanging over his shoulder: [Gets its teeth dangerously close to Damian's shoulder]

Damian: [Shoves a toothbrush into said shadow move and starts brush]

The shadow: [Pauses before starting to let out a contented purr]

Damian then spits out the foam and washes out his mouth, then makes the shadow do the same and then picks out pjs.

Damian: [Currently decided if he should go with the cat, dog, or knife imprinted one]

The shadow: [Starts getting dangerously close to Damian with, toxic green spirals it calls eyes]

Damian: [Throws the dog imprinted one behind him at the shadow and takes the cat imprinted one for himself and tells the shadow to put it on]

The shadow: [Stares at the clothes before hesitantly putting them on before letting out a noise of distress]

Damian: [Turning around to find the shadow somehow stuck in the pjs, lets out a sigh, then starts to help them fit]

Damian then moves over to the bed, he points to one side and tells the shadow to go there. The shadow listens, laying down as Damian also lays down, grabbing the sheets and covering them both.

It barely took a few seconds for the shadow to fall asleep, and Damian stared at it. Damian wasn't quite sure why the shadow of his dead twin was following him, nor why it was even able to and seemed to hide itself from anyone who isn't Damian.

Nobody besides him knew about it, and Damian decided that he liked it. This could have been his younger brother, if the other had survived, and they would have probably been told to fight to the death to decide an heir.

At the very least, that won't ever happen.

Even if his brother was slightly unusual.

===

Danny did not remember much of the before, he remembered people with blurred faces and features, blurred colors. He remembered a lot of colors, then red, then white, then pain.

He doesn't like pain, he believes.

Then he remembered going to sleep, and then he woke up. It was dark and slimy and cramped when he woke up, especially when he realized someone else was in their with him.

Then he fell asleep again, then woke up to that same dark and slimy place, then fell asleep again, all in some weird cycle. Then, moving, and pain.

It hurt, and he was sluggish when it eventually stopped. Then came pain again, and he was asleep.

Then he woke up, again.

He didn't know what was happening, wasn't really aware of too. But he woke up next to the other who was in that dark and slimy with him, and decided he wanted to stay with them.

He wasn't aware enough for most of the things that happened when Damian grew up, but he still stayed regardless, and hide from everyone else.

Danny loves his brother, and he thinks his brother loves him too. Even if he was slightly unusual.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dcxdp #dc x dp crossover #Danny died and reincarnated #After a ruthless amount of experimentation at that #He only vaguely remembers his past life lawl #Anyways Danny was reborn as Damian's twin but was killed because of a birth defect #Then he woke up again as some weird shadow creature and attached himself to Damian #Damian meanwhile isn't quite sure why his brother is still around when he should be dead #But takes care of him regardless of that fact #Even if his brother seemed to move more on instinct with the curiosity of a ten year old despite technically being the same age as him #For the record #Danny ISN'T a halfa here #Since he died he lost that status lawl #Danny is a shadow creature who attached himself to his older brother Damian #Shocker I know #Real different to how I usually have them in my posts huh? #Right Danny still takes the form of a child #A shadowy wispy child but still #He only comes up to Damian's chest lawl but he can fly so it balances out #He also weighs nothing so Damian can just easily pick him up lol

[twinstxrs]

idk if this is accurate but i’ve felt like in previous seasons riz & gorgug have been one of the inter-bad kids dynamics we’ve seen the least of & this season has been so great in that aspect. gorgug having helped make some of riz’s magic gear. riz helping gorgug with his studies. the shared birthday party. gorgug’s gift to riz being something he himself made to protect riz. riz’s gift to gorgug being something he illegally grabbed to protect gorgug. gorgug who utilizes rage to put his body on the line for his friends & riz who will take deep levels of mental stress for his friends. even though it was within the context of a joke, riz calling gorgug an “absolute sweetie.” like yea they might not be in a band together or both part of a presidential campaign team or owlbears teammates, but they’d go to war for each other, because they’re best friends.

#riz gukgak #gorgug thistlespring #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #these kids are all so self-sacrificing but i do think riz gorgug are the most clear (& juxtaposed) self-sacrificers #riz will mentally tear himself to pieces and get lost in cases and take on ungodly levels of stress for those he loves #gorgug will use himself as a human shield. he will take hit after hit if it means his friends are okay. #and they’d both do the other thing too. riz would let himself get hit for gorgug. gorgug would pull all nighters & take stress for riz. #even if mechanically they can’t or it wouldn’t make sense. they would if they could. #also #the starstruck barry mechanic of being a guard is so gorgug. it’s soooo gorgug like that’s literally him #anyways love this tall green guy & this short green guy so much #especially because gorgug is tall & considered intimidating but protective in a deeply kind way #while riz is short & underestimated but protective in a deeply vicious way (affectionate) #i hope this makes sense but i think riz is primarily ‘i would kill for you’ & gorgug is primarily ‘i would die for you’ maybe #this does not mean gorgug would not kill for riz or riz would not die for gorgug. they both would. #but those are the primary ways their love manifests due to the nature of their strengths/personalities. To Me #idk this is all just me saying stuff when i should be sleeping �� #sorry if i missed a riz gorgug moment in the main post btw i’m tired

[voltaical-art]

im in agony. a little self indulgent but I think wyll deserves to be told he's loved and have a small breakdown about it

#bg3 #wyll ravengard #tav #wyll x tav #baldur's gate 3 #voltaical ocs #bishop #finally downloaded one (1) font bc i had too much dialog for this #i dont even hate ulder taht much i just thing wyll should talk about ANY complicated feelings he has about him. #also the way wyll always seems to be quoting him like pls what are YOUR THOUGHTS not some cryptic thing your father told you 10 years ago #and rlly if you take the way wyll describes the situation as hard truth #ALL the justification Ulder had for banishing his son #are conclusions WYLL has come to on his OWN since ulder only said ‘one word to him’ #LIKE his relationship with his father could have been SO interesting but wyll isn’t allowed to have ANY introspection at all #so he just apologizes and wyll continues to try and please him