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slasherwife · 4 years

Note

🐻Oh, I stopped to think, how the Slashers would react to their S / O being a witch who reincarnated (doesn’t remember the past life, except how she died.), She does rituals (using some potions, animal bones and blood itself). to raise and control plants and a power related to his death (possibly fire) and have nightmares about his death that usually have phantom pain and vision (in the midst of flames and smoke for example.) kisses from Brazil 🐻

Slashers react to a witch s/o

How do the slashers react with you doing tarot, moon rituals, playing with energies, making potions and doing spells?

🌹🌛🌕🌜🌹how do they react to you controlling the elements and getting forewarning of his death?

Thomas Hewitt

Thomas is lowkey intrigued?

Doesn’t even know what this stuff is??

He’s pretty much clueless, but that doesn’t mean you can’t teach him

If you tell him you’re a witch I have a feeling he’ll be taken aback

“B-but the Bible says—“

“No no, the Bible was originally Aramaic, Tommy— and ‘witch’ in Aramaic meant poisoner, my love. I never poison anyone.” 💖💕💖💕

That should do it 😊

Anyway he will still be bewildered a lil bit, just peepin around the corner watching you doing a tarot reading like Ow0 wot

Will catch animals for you to use for rituals

Do you need human bones too? Cuz he’s got you covered 😊💕

But hearing of your past life death? Seeing you play with fire and plant energies? How the universe practically bows to you? He sees you completely different.

He was standing on the back porch, watching you walk towards him as the grass waved to you and the trees bent in your favor, and he never wanted to be apart from you 🌹😊

You are a starlit goddess, sent to him by mistake— and he thinks you belong to the stars above or in the clouds~~ anywhere but his dark, sad home 😓💖

If you have nightmares about his death, he will go under your wing —begrudgingly— under your constant protection

He doesn’t believe too much of your visions, but he hates seeing you upset and his dark goddess doesn’t deserve paranoia 🥀😓

Jason Vorhees

Whatever Jason thinks, he at least acknowledges at his zombie phase that he isn’t exactly considered natural either.

Tbh you guys would be a total power couple 🤗🥺💖

He would be probably more understanding of your occupation than Tommy, and would embrace you fully 😊

Like “I knew my y/n was special. I knew it!” 😊💕

He doesn’t like that you use animal bones though. “Why the poor animals y/n?? Use human bones instead— here.”

He thinks you have superpowers hah

He loves when you raise the plants to be alive again— it’s like you keep it spring all year and he loves it 🥺💖💕💖🌷

Will be happy that you have them so you can protect yourself if need be 😊

Once you tell him about your past life death and how you can manipulate elements and that you’re getting forewarnings dreams of his death... he won’t be too worried.

First off, any thought of you dying in general is caused him literal physical pain. So he didn’t like you talking about that 🥺💕

You controlling the elements, Fire? He will follow you anywhere hon’. 7’1 immortal zombie legend murderer and powerful sorcerer/ess/witch? Biggest power couple 💕🙌🙌

And then lastly, the only thing Jason will worry about from your dreams is how you will manage with out him. That’s literally it 😂🥺💕💖

He knows he will come back eventually, you can’t kill Jason forever— he physically can’t stay dead lol

He will sheepishly miss all the crazy sex you guys have been having, but you stop your worrying! Jason’s like “my poor bab don’t be so scared— I’ll always come back!” 💕💕💖💕

Michael Myers

Will 1000% pretend your powers don’t interest him.

But just know that he’s peeking around the corner when you absent mindedly play with the candle’s flame while mixing a clarity potion, literally on his toes 😂💕

He loves to be around you when you’re doing candle work, making a potion, practicing controlling the elements— because you exert this powerful and foreign energy aura that’s comforting to him 😊💖💕🥺

Another slasher that will go on a midnight trip of catching animals for you because “ANYTHING FOR YOU, MY GODDESS— 😫💖💕💖💕”

But you wouldn’t even ask for it, he would see you making spell charms or bags with animal bones in it—

And then next thing you know he drops a sack of birds and a goat next to you and walks away???🤭

Do I know where he got the goat?? No I fucking do not xD but it kinda stank so you had to drag it out the back door and get to work 😣

And then obviously he’ll give you human bones as well lel 💕

He likes hearing of your past life death, he thinks it’s cool lol 😊💖

Getting forewarnings of Michael’s death? K.

He wouldn’t be bothered really, but he obviously doesn’t want to die— he’s too stubborn for that 💕💖

This is the only time he will ever listen to you xD barely

Basically like “too bad—I’m going out tonight. But I’ll ‘be careful’ or whatever the fuck you said.”

Another huge power couple btw 🙌💖💕

Bubba Sawyer

He thinks you’re so cool 🥺

He’ll think your tarot readings are a game and he’ll pick up random ones and look at them

(He likes the pictures) 😖💖

He’ll be so curious, like snooping around when you’re doing a ritual, snuggling up against you when you’re saying an incantation—

He’s like a cat💖💕

Oh you like animal bones? What a surprise! His house is literally full of them. 😶🌷

Ya you have an endless supply of animal bones— you won’t ever run out 😂💖💕

You died in your past life? WHAT? Why? *crying*

He will snuggle you all night when you tell him that 🥺

Also thinks you’re a goddess that was sent to him and can NOT wrap his head around the fact that you two met by chance 🥺💖

Cherishes you every single day and will probably be super clingy because you’re just his strong woman who deserves everything for the queen she is— *INHALE* yeah. 😖😖💕💕💖💖

Wait. What? You dreamt of me dying? What abt you will you be okay my little blueberry muffin??

He won’t careeee but at the same time he wants to stay with youuuuu😖💖💕

Just so he can stay alive to be with you, he’ll do everything you say to stay safe and will follow every protocol much to Chop Tops annoyment. 🤷‍♀️😊💕

“No, sorry—Y/n says I can’t do that.”

I love you two together, it gives me the feels 🥺💕💖

Bo Sinclair

Ooooh niceeee

Lowkey interested but probably won’t show it 😆

Like u do u— don’t know don’t care as long as you keep making me pbjs

Prepare for bewildererd looks when he walks in on your using blood/bones for a particular ritual 😳

Like you’ll just be sitting on your bed with your eyes closed, holding a black candle trying to banish negative energy and he’ll walk in—

“Want me to leave...?”

“Shhhhhhh....”

He’ll probably come home one day with an animal skull or something like, “babe I found this owl beak... you want it?” 😂💖💕

He’ll probably tell Lester to catch something while he’s out and about, and then take it and tell you that he got it for you all by himself😂💕

Lowkey scared of you sometimes

He’s not scared of blood, but like y are u using it..??

Tried not to piss you off too much so you hex him or something xD 💖💕

You: *manipulating fire and wind out back*

Bo, walking in on it: bitch what the fu—

If you tell him you’re getting visions of his death, he’ll probably be super skeptical and give you it a smartass remark— probably ask if you’ve been smoking the mugwort too 😳😶

But if you persist on it— he’ll get frustrated but will listen to you because he doesn’t like seeing u upset 🥺🌷

Brahmsie

Bitch wtf u doin?

So confused— explain now

This little shit will go through all of your stuff and take what he thinks is cool and will probably piss off your deities (if u have deities) 😂

You’ll have to make him apologize and have him give it back~~which I wish you the best of luck w 😂💖💕

You’ll just be minding your own business when Brahmsie is looking at your things—

The he legit looks at you dead in the eyes and takes your dragon figurine and disappears into the walls, much to your panic 😓😶😶

But since you can do all this stuff, now 3x more scared of you even tho you’re a small bean in comparison to him— 😳💕🌷

You threatened to hex him if he didn’t start actin right and he started being nice real quick 😂🙌💕💕

Where did u get that blood? 😶😳

Using animal bones? Use the dead rats y/n! Duh!

Bonus for him if he manages to sack the grocery boy and take his bones too 😶💘

“ANYTHING FOR YOU MY QUEEN!” 🙌😭💖💖

If he finds you controlling the elements and sees u controlling fire.... he leaves immediately dont you know he’s terrified of fire??

Yeah uh he demands in a shaky voice that you stop doing that or else ☹️😶he doesn’t like fire at all

But that’s okay cuz you’re still the fuckin coolest person hes ever been w! 😆💘

Wait wut...? You’re saying I’m gonna die? UWU SAVE ME Y/N I DONT WANNA DIEEE

He will literally get so scared when you tell him you’re getting forewarnings of his death, and will go under your wing definitely the most willingly 😅💓💓

Whatever, more cuddles for him! And some other things 😏

I hope u liked ittt! Sorry I’ve not the time to post ANYTHING lately— it took me 5 days to finish this one because of how busy w school I am— but I hope you like it!! 💖💖

#slashers #thomas hewitt #i made a thing #jason vorhees #Michael Myers #bubba Sawyer #bubba sawyer headcanons #bo Sinclair #Brahms Heelshire #Thomas Hewitt headcanons #Jason Vorhees headcanons #Michael Myers headcanons #bo Sinclair headcanons #Brahms Heelshire headcanons

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bts-reveries · 4 years

Text

mini me | 23 1/3

Flashback to Yn’s talk over video call with the girls + Jin ( in part 17)

“So what exactly are you feeling,” Mae asks you, popping a kimbap in her mouth. You shrug at her question.

“That’s what I don’t know… Youngdo wants us to get back together,” you say, everyone’s facial expressions show that they were surprised. Jin especially. He chokes on a kimbap Mae fed him.

“That’s… sudden?” Rina says. “Why all of a sudden?”

“He said he’s been working towards it, but Taehyung came in the way and he knew he needed to start working faster, hence the reason why we’ve been hanging out more lately? I guess? I don’t know, I’m confused as well…” You say, running your hand through your hair.

“Well you can’t be with someone just because they want to be with you, but if you’re confused… does that mean you have feelings too?” Jin asks you, slowly. You bury your head into your hands and groan.

“I don’t knooooooooooooow,” you say. “I just really want it to work between Youngdo and I, you know? We had this whole future planned out when we were younger and then Youngjae came in and I was scared but it honestly just made my dreams come true even faster. Does that make sense? It would’ve been perfect if Youngdo felt the same way. I understand that we were really young and that we both had dreams we wanted to follow so I guess we both could’ve ended it there, knowing we were on different paths. But we were still in love with each other, I mean, I was… it all kind of went away when he just wanted me and not Youngjae, which is literally half of me, and him! But it’s different now though. We’re hanging out a lot more and I actually… enjoy it. He’s changing.” You explain, looking up at the screen. You could tell that they were all trying to process what you had just said and were thinking of what advice they wanted to give you. The first one to speak up was Sarang.

“I understand you want to fix your broken family. I’ve been there before. I was a single mom too, Hope didn’t know her dad and he didn’t know she existed and I was still in love with him. It’s not quite the same but I mean, we’re both single moms and one of the two is in love, and you want to have a complete family so I guess it’s kind of similar. Hobi and I started off as friends first. So what’s going on with you and Youngdo right now is what happened to us, in a way. Neither of us talked about getting together though until we got really close. We also got along really well as a family and decided that we liked it that way and wanted to keep it that way so I know where you’re coming from. But” Sarang says, her eyes drifting away from the screen. You can tell she’s thinking of how to say what she needs to say next. “But we were never together in the first place, like you and Youngdo..” You furrow your brows, tilting your head slightly, confused. You get a little laugh from the group.

“I think what Sarang is saying is that you two have more history with each other, than her and Hobi so your situation is quite different than hers and what worked for her might not work for you. Maybe what happened between you and Youngdo was meant to be?” Rina suggests.

“Although,” Yuna adds in, “don’t let us make the decision for you, we’re just here to help you gather your thoughts. Making suggestions to help you figure out what you should do.” The girls nod, agreeing to her statement. Meanwhile, Jin was shaking his head from Mae’s end of the screen.

“Completely disagree, I say ditch him and go with Taehyung,” he says, Mae looks at him and smacks his chest.

“Don’t make the decision for her, she’s the one that’s going to be dating him not you,” she tells him. You laugh at the couple. Wanting something like that in the future.

“Yeah, she didn’t even mention Taehyung,” Byul says, “this isn’t about him.” You laugh, a little embarrassed. Sohyun seems to be the only one who catches on.

“Oh my gosh. This does include Taehyung… When you said Youngdo was working faster, it’s not because Taehyung got closer to his son, but it’s because he also got closer with you,” she says in shock. You smile at her, laughing a bit.

“So… is Taehyung your side chic-- rooster? hoe? Is this appropria--”

“Can you shut up,” Mae says, pushing Jin out of the screen.

“Okay first of all,” you say, standing up for yourself. “I’m not with either so that doesn’t apply. And speaking of Tae… I don’t know, we kind of had a moment the other day but I feel like we just spent a lot of time together and that we were alone, so I’m… confused with that too.”

“Hold on,” Rina says, “are you saying you don’t know who to choose?” You nod your head.

“Let’s talk about the pros and cons first,” Mae says, a finger popping up off screen, shushing her.

“Forget pros and cons, I’m not trying to be biased or anything, kind off,” Jin says, coughing off the last part, “but I’m team Taehyung. I feel like my brother--” This time it was Mae shushing him.

“Okay okay fine, keep talking, I’m going to go order customized Team Taehyung shirts,” Jin says, getting up.

“Okay now that he’s gone,” Byul says, “Mae, continue.”

“Thank you. Let’s list the pros and cons for both parties okay?” Mae continues, nodding off to you.

“Wait,” Jin says coming back, Mae groans, “Okay, no, I’m going to be seriously serious this time.” He says this as he’s looking at his wife. He turns to you, well the screen, next.

“I know you dream of being a happy family with, what, your high school sweetheart? but, okay, so I shouldn’t be the one to say this because my relationship came out perfect--ow!” Jin tries to explain, although he gets a little pinch from Mae. “I swear this is going somewhere!” he exclaims. “But not all relationships end up the way we want them to. For example, Namjoon and Eunji, Moonji’s mom. They had this beautiful future planned together, it was literally right in front of them but life happens, you know? I don’t know if you know this, but she passed away when she gave birth to Moonji. I know this is such a dark example, but I’m just trying to say… no matter how hard you plan, the future is uncertain. Namjoon had this future planned out, his baby girl was coming and his life was about to begin and it fell apart right when it started. But he was able to raise her alone, his career took off, and he was able to meet someone new. None of that was part of his plan. You planned to have this perfect future with Youngdo and when your future happened earlier than planned, it fell apart too right? Slowly, but surely.

Yeah you can go back and fix it but it doesn’t hurt to move on. You can walk back down that road you were once on, or take a new one with new, possibly better, opportunities. He’s changed yeah, but so have you.”

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

mini me

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ part twenty-three, one out of three: so have you ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

pairings: artist!taehyung x singlemom!reader

a/n: so part 23 has three parts because we need some more time before this ends, also keep in mind that jin knows about tae’s feelings at this point

taglist: @heartfeltscribblings @taexmichi @prdshobi @smarshere @i-swear-im-a-soft-stan @igotarmyofarohas @butterflylion @miagracegrande @casspirit0705 @ephyra1230 @cosmicdaylight @bbyjoonies @betysotelo18 @strwberry-jam @rjsmochii @chocobetterknot @notmontae97 @alpaca1612 @yoongistruth @dragonqueen01 @silentlyimpractical @hecticwonderer @joanc24 @hopesvlle @momma-said-that-it-was-oke @sweetmoonlight9 @samros95 @dreamcatcherjiah @sonderkook @taekookcaneatme @listless-losers @kookietsukkie @goldenchemistry @salty-for-suga @peoplejustcanthandlemywierdness @softboyfriendtae @raplineh0e @ess-place @callmepaopao @ggukvii @ramyagovindraj @yoongiverse @mipetronella @cloudy-skys @jikachoo @nxtrogers @kookoo-kachoo @taestannie @hispoutylips @hallofbtsmasterlist

TAGLIST IS CLOSED

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whencartoonsruletheworld · 4 years

Link

Disney but just the Queer Mood™ Songs, a full Spotify Playlist

Open to updates should anyone notice a song I missed!

Tracklist with specific lyrics that fuck us all up under the cut:

KEY: A general list of which songs resonate with people. The 🏳️‍🌈is for general songs; if you relate to a song but don’t see ur emoji beneath it, send me a message and I’ll add it!

🏳️‍🌈 General Queer Anthem 🌈 Gays specifically have related to this song ❤️ Gay Men specifically have related to this song 🧡 Lesbians specifically have related to this song 💕 Bisexuals/Pansexuals specifically have related to this song 💜 Asexuals/Ace-spectrum people specifically have related to this song 💚 Aromatics/Aro-spectrum people specifically have related to this song 🤍 Trans people have specifically related to this song 🖤 Nonbinary/Genderqueer people have specifically related to this song 💗 Polyamorous people have specifically related to this song

Know Who You Are - Moana

🏳️‍🌈

They have stolen the heart from inside you But this does not define you This is not who you are You know who you are...

I Wonder - Sleeping Beauty

🌈🧡

I wonder, I wonder, I wonder why each little bird has a someone To sing to, sweet things to, A gay little love melody I wonder, I wonder, I wonder if my heart keeps singing, Will my song go winging To someone, who'll find me And bring back a love song to me...

Mother Knows Best - Tangled

🏳️‍🌈 honestly this is just... a general song for some of our shitty relationships to guardian figures...

It's a scary world out there Mother knows best One way or another Something will go wrong, I swear

Me, I'm just your mother, what do I know? I only bathed and changed and nursed you Go ahead and leave me, I deserve it Let me die alone here, be my guest When it's too late You'll see, just wait Mother knows best

Don't forget it You'll regret it...

Dangerous to Dream - Frozen Broadway Production

🏳️‍🌈

I can't be what you expect of me But I'm trying every day with all I do and do not say Here on the edge of the abyss Knowing everything in my whole life has lead to this And so I pull inside myself, close the walls, put up my guard I've practiced every single day for this So why is it so hard?

I can't dwell on what we've lost And our secrecy and silence comes at such a cost

I wish I could tell the truth Show you who's behind the door I wish you knew what all this pantomime And pageantry was for

It's dangerous to wish I could make choices of my own Dangerous to even have that thought I'm dangerous just standing here for everyone to see If I let go of rules who knows how dangerous I'd be?

Reflection - Mulan

🏳️‍🌈🤍🖤- literally everyone requested this. everyone. so im just copy-pasting the entire lyrics sorry not sorry

Look at me, I will never pass for a perfect bride Or a perfect daughter Can it be I'm not meant to play this part? Now I see that if I were truly to be myself I would break my family's heart

Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know? Somehow I cannot hide who I am, though I’ve tried When will my reflection show who I am inside?

How I pray that a time will come I can free myself From their expectations On that day, I'll discover someway to be myself And to make my family proud They want a docile lamb No one knows who I am Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide? Must I pretend that I'm Someone else for all time? When will my reflection show Who I am inside? When will my reflection show Who I am inside?

Everything I Ever Thought I Knew - Tangled: The Series

🏳️‍🌈 when u realize u might not be straight lol

I thought no one could love me And how could I have known? I was wrong, oh so wrong

Everything I ever thought I knew Where I've been, where I'm going Everything I counted on turned out to be untrue Could've guessed, should've known, now I do

If none of it was really me then who am I supposed to be?

I guess I'm someone else now I wonder who I am

God Help the Outcasts - Hunchback of Notre Dame

🏳️‍🌈...yeah. yeah

Yes, I know I'm just an outcast I shouldn't speak to You Still, I see Your face and wonder Were You once an outcast, too?

God help the outcasts, hungry from birth Show them the mercy they don't find on Earth God help my people, they look to You, still God help the outcasts or nobody will

I ask for nothing, I can get by But I know so many less lucky than I Please help my people, the poor and downtrod I thought we all were the children of God

Belle (Reprise) - Beauty and the Beast

🌈 when a cishet thinks ur interested smh

Madame Gaston! Can't you just see it? Madame Gaston! His little wife No, sir! Not me! I guarantee it I want much more than this provincial life!

I want adventure in the great wide somewhere I want it more than I can tell And for once it might be grand To have someone understand I want so much more than they've got planned...

Part of Your World - The Little Mermaid

🌈 SO many people requested this one guys it’s not even funny

Wandering free, wish I could be Part of that world

Betcha on land, they understand Bet they don't reprimand their daughters Bright young women, sick of swimming Ready to stand

When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love, Love to explore that shore up above?

One Jump Ahead (Reprise) - Aladdin

🏳️‍🌈

Riff-raff, street rat I don't buy that If only they'd look closer

Would they see a poor boy? No, siree They'd find out There's so much more to me...

Proud of Your Boy - Aladdin Broadway Production

🏳️‍🌈❤️🤍

That I've been one rotten kid Some son, some pride and some joy But I'll get over these lousin' up Messin' up, screwin' up times...

Water flows under the bridge Let it pass, let it go There's no good reason that you should believe me Not yet, I know, but

Someday and soon I'll make you proud of your boy Though I can't make myself taller Or smarter or handsome or wise I'll do my best, what else can I do? Since I wasn't born perfect like Dad or you...

Someone’s Waiting for You - The Rescuers

🏳️‍🌈

Be brave, little one Make a wish for each sad little tear Hold your head up though no one is near Someone's waiting for you

Always keep a little prayer in your pocket And you're sure to see the light Soon there'll be joy and happiness And your little world will be bright

Have faith, little one Til your hopes and your wishes come true

Stick to the Status Quo - High School Musical

🏳️‍🌈 🌈 YOU ALL KNOW EXACTLY WHY THIS IS HERE

No, no, no, stick to the stuff you know It is better by far to keep things as they are Don't mess with the flow, no no Stick to the status quo

Into the Unknown - Frozen 2

🏳️‍🌈

I can hear you, but I won't Some look for trouble while others don't There's a thousand reasons I should go about my day And ignore your whispers which I wish would go away

I've had my adventure, I don't need something new I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you

Or are you someone out there who's a little bit like me? Who knows deep down I'm not where I'm meant to be? Every day's a little harder as I feel my power grow Don't you know there's part of me that longs to go

Where are you going? Don't leave me alone How do I follow you Into the unknown?

Go the Distance - Hercules

🏳️‍🌈

I have often dreamed of a far off place Where a great, warm welcome will be waiting for me

And a voice keeps saying This is where I'm meant to be

I am on my way, I can go the distance I don't care how far, somehow I'll be strong I know every mile will be worth my while I would go most anywhere to find where I belong

Tomorrow - Annie

🏳️‍🌈 - betcha didnt know disney had an annie movie did u

The sun will come out tomorrow Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow There'll be sun

When I'm stuck in a day that's gray and lonely, I just stick out my chin and grin and say, oh, The sun’ll come out tomorrow So you gotta hang on til tomorrow, come what may...

Learn Me Right - Brave

🏳️‍🌈💜💚

Though I may speak some tongue of old Or even spit out some holy word I have no strength with which to speak When you sit me down and see I’m weak

We will run and scream you will dance with me We'll fulfill our dreams, and we'll be free We will be who we are, and they’ll heal our scars Sadness will be far away...

Strange Sight - Tinkerbell and the Legend of the Neverbeast

🏳️‍🌈

You stand in the light You're wrong, but you're right And my heart's beating wildly Strange how I'm scared but delighted Afraid, but excited too

I will understand you Strange how I'm drawn to the danger I reach out my hand to you

If you're caught in the shadows and turned all around Lost in the darkness, you will be found If you hear my voice, follow the sound Cause I'm here to guide you home...

I Don’t Dance - High School Musical 2

🌈 ❤️ 💕 okay so if you weren’t here for the high school musical tumblr revival you may be confused but listen... it’s about being mlm...

Step up to the plate, start swinging

I wanna play ball Now that’s all, this is what I do It ain’t no dance that you can show me

I’ve got what it takes playin’ my game So you best skin that pitch you gonna throw me, yeah I’ll show you how I swing

I can prove it to you ‘til you know it’s true Cause I can swing it, I can bring it to the diamond too You’re talking a lot, show me what you got Stop, swing!

Kiss the Girl - cover of The Little Mermaid

this version is sung by a girl so 🧡💕

There you see her, sitting there across the way She don't got a lot to say but there's something about her And you don't know why, but you're dying to try You wanna kiss the girl

Yes, you want her Look at her, you know you do It's possible she want you too There is one way to ask her...

Can You Feel the Love Tonight - The Lion King

🏳️‍🌈

An enchanted moment And it sees me through It's enough for this restless warrior Just to be with you

There's a time for everyone if they only learn That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn There's a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors When the heart of this star-crossed voyager Beats in time with yours

And can you feel the love tonight? It is where we are It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer That we got this far And can you feel the love tonight? How it's laid to rest It's enough to make kings and vagabonds Believe the very best

Beauty and the Beast - Beauty and the Beast

🏳️‍🌈- a lot of queer people tend to empathize with “beastly” characters so we all latched the fuck onto this movie huh

Just a little change, small to say the least Both a little scared, neither one prepared

Ever just the same, ever a surprise Ever as before, ever just as sure As the sun will rise

Tale as old as time, tune as old as song Bittersweet and strange, finding you can change Learning you were wrong...

Healing Incantation - Tangled

🏳️‍🌈🤍🖤

Heal what has been hurt Change the fates' design Save what has been lost Bring back what once was mine

So Close - Enchanted

🏳️‍🌈🌈

A life goes by, romantic dreams will stop So I bid mine goodbye and never knew So close was waiting waiting here with you And now, forever, I know All that I wanted to hold you so close

Oh, how could I face the faceless days If I should lose you now?

So close to reaching that famous happy end Almost believing this one's not pretend Let’s go on dreaming though we know we are So close, so close, and still So far...

If Only - Descendants

🏳️‍🌈🌈

A million thoughts in my head Should I let my heart keep listening? Cause up 'til now, I've walked the line Nothing lost but something missing I can't decide what's wrong, what's right Which way should I go?

Every step, every word With every hour I'm feeling in To something new, something brave To someone I've never been

Will you still be with me When the magic's all run out?

If only I knew what my heart was telling me Don't know what I'm feeling Is this just a dream? If only I could read the signs in front of me I could find the way to who I'm meant to be

Wherever You Are - Pooh’s Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin

🏳️‍🌈- out of context could be interpreted as romantic, esp since the credits version is a duet (🌈 💕) but the original context is friendship so honestly it’s very 💜💚

I'm out here in the dark, all alone and wide awake Come and find me I'm empty and I'm cold, and my heart's about to break Come and find me

I need you to come here and find me Cause without you, I'm totally lost I've hung a wish on every star It hasn't done much good so far I can only dream of you

But when the morning comes and the sun begins to rise, I will lose you Because it’s just a dream, when I open up my eyes, I will lose you

I used to believe in forever, But forever is too good to be true I've hung a wish on every star It hasn't done much good so far

I don't know what else to do Except to try to dream of you And wonder, if you're dreaming too Wherever you are

I Won’t Say (I’m In Love) - Hercules

🏳️‍🌈 🌈 💕

If there's a prize for rotten judgment, I guess I've already won that

Who d'you think you're kiddin'? He's the earth and heaven to ya Try to keep it hidden Honey, we can see right through ya Girl, you can't conceal it We know how you feel And who you're thinking of

I thought my heart had learned its lesson It feels so good when you start out My head is screaming "Get a grip, girl!" Unless you're dying to cry your heart out

You keep on denying Who you are and how you're feeling Baby, we're not buying Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling

This scene won't play I won't say I'm in love

At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love

Endless Night - The Lion King Broadway Production

🏳️‍🌈🤍 🖤

Where has the starlight gone? Dark is the day How can I find my way home? Home is an empty dream, lost to the night Father, I feel so alone

When will the dawning break, oh, endless night Sleepless I dream of the day

I know that the night must end And that the sun will rise I know that the clouds must clear And that the sun will shine

Set Yourself Free - Tangled: The Series

🏳️‍🌈🤍

There's much more inside of you than anyone can see And now the choice is yours Life waits beyond the doors So step on through, the time has come And only you can set yourself free!

No one else can tell you what to do Or who to be! No one gets to say if you will stay or go

Look inside your heart and find the key... And set yourself free!

Bound up by your worries Trapped by your mistakes Forced to play a role you never chose Why not test your limits? You've got what it takes Let it out and follow where it goes

No more letting someone else define you to a "T" You know that you are strong You've known it all along So seize the day, let down your hair You’ll find a way to set yourself free!

So look to the horizon Open up your wings! Fly away to find your destiny... And set yourself free!

Speechless - Aladdin 2019 Remake

🏳️‍🌈 ALL OF US ALL OF US

Here comes a wave meant to wash me away A tide that is taking me under

Cause I'll breathe when they try to suffocate me! Don't you underestimate me! Cause I know that I won't go speechless!

Written in stone, every rule, every word Centuries old and unbending "Stay in your place, better seen and not heard," Well, now that story is ending

Try to lock me in this cage! I won't just lay me down and die! I will take these broken wings And watch me burn across the sky!

I’m Still Here (Jim’s Theme) - Treasure Planet

🏳️‍🌈❤️🤍

I am a question to the world Not an answer to be heard Or a moment that's held in your arms

You don't know me And I'll never be what you want me to be

And what do you think you'd understand I'm a boy - No, I'm a man You can't take me and throw me away And how can you learn what's never shown Yeah, you stand here on your own They don't know me, cause I’m not here

And I want to tell you who I am Can you help me be a man They can't break me As long as I know who I am

They can't tell me who to be 'Cause I'm not what they see Yeah, the world is still sleepin' While I keep on dreaming for me And their words are just whispers and lies That I'll never believe!

Crossing the Line - cover of Tangled: the Series

🏳️‍🌈 🧡 tfw when u are DONE with that fuckin closet

This has to stop now This thing where you think that you've been my friend And don't even hear how you condescend The way you've always done

How I've tried to jump that great divide! But I've never got the chances you were given You don't know how much I've been denied Well, I'm not being patient anymore

I'm crossing the line! And I'm done holding back So look out, clear the track, it's my turn! I'm taking what's mine Every drop, every smidge If I'm burning a bridge, let it burn! But I'm crossing the line...

Let it Go - Frozen

🏳️‍🌈 listen. i do not have to explain this one. you all know exactly why it’s here. we were all tiny gays in 2013 losing our shit in the theater for no discernable reason why. we know

Couldn't keep it in, Heaven knows I tried

Don't let them in, don't let them see Be the good girl you always have to be Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know Well, now they know!

Let it go! Let it go! Turn away and slam the door! I don't care what they're going to say!

It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all!

No right, no wrong, no rules for me I'm free!

I'm never going back, the past is in the past!

Let it go! Let it go! And I'll rise like the break of dawn Let it go! Let it go! That perfect girl is gone!

This is Me - Camp Rock

🏳️‍🌈 🧡 💕 🤍

I've always been the kind of girl that hid my face So afraid to tell the world what I've got to say But I have this dream right inside of me I'm gonna let it show it's time To let you know It's to let you know

Do you know what it's like to feel so in the dark? To dream about a life where you're the shining star

This is real, this is me I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, now Gonna let the light shine on me Now I've found who I am there's no way to hold it in No more hiding who I wanna be...

Breaking Free - High School Musical

🏳️‍🌈 🖤

You know the world can see us In a way that's different than who we are Creating space between us 'Till we're separate hearts But your faith it gives me strength Strength to believe

Soarin, flyin There’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach If we’re trying, yeah we’re breaking free We’re running, climbin To get to the place, to be all that we can be Now’s the time, so we’re breaking free

True To Your Heart - Mulan

🏳️‍🌈 🌈

Baby, I knew at once that you were meant for me Deep in my soul, I know that I'm your destiny Though you're unsure Why fight the tide Don't think so much Let your heart decide

True to your heart You must be true to your heart That's when the heavens'll part And, baby, shower you with my love Open your eyes Your heart can tell you no lies And when you're true to your heart I know it's gonna lead you straight to me

Someone ya know is on your side can set you free I can do that for you if you believe in me Why second guess what feels so right Just trust your heart And you'll see the light

Never Knew I Needed - The Princess and the Frog

🏳️‍🌈 🌈 💕

For the way you changed my plans For being the perfect distraction For the way you took the idea that I have Of everything that I wanted to have And made me see there was something missing...

My accidental happily ever after The way you smile and how you comfort me with your laughter I must admit you were not a part of my book But now if you open it up and take a look You're the beginning and the end of every chapter

You're the best thing I never knew I needed So when you were here I had no idea You'd be the best thing I never knew I needed So now it's so clear I need you here always

Colors of the Wind - Pocahontas

🏳️‍🌈 - colors.... rainbows.... yea

How can there be so much that you don't know? You don't know...

You think the only people who are people Are the people who look and think like you But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger You'll learn things you never knew, you never knew

How high will the sycamore grow If you cut it down, then you'll never know And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon For whether we are white or copper skinned We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains We need to paint with all the colors of the wind...

I See the Light - Tangled

🏳️‍🌈 🌈 - you would not BELIEVE how many of y’all requested this one

Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight Now I'm here, suddenly I see Standing here, it's all so clear I'm where I'm meant to be

Now she's here shining in the starlight Now she's here, suddenly I know If she's here it's crystal clear I'm where I'm meant to go

And at last I see the light And it's like the fog has lifted And at last I see the light And it's like the sky is new And it's warm and real and bright And the world has somehow shifted

All at once, everything looks different Now that I see you

Strangers Like Me - Tarzan

🏳️‍🌈 🤍 🖤- that moment when u find another queer person and ur like “holy shit”

I can see there's so much to learn It's all so close and yet so far I see myself as people see me Oh, I just know there's something bigger out there

Come with me now to see my world Where there's beauty beyond your dreams Can you feel the things I feel Right now, with you Take my hand There's a world I need to know...

Why Should I Worry? - Oliver & Company

🏳️‍🌈- we’re queer, we’re here, get used to it

Why should I worry? Why should I care? I may not have a dime But I got street savoir-faire Why should I worry? Why should I care? It's just be-bopulation And I got street savoir-faire

Why should I worry? Why should I care? And even when I crossed that line I got street savoir-faire

Welcome - Brother Bear

🏳️‍🌈 pride parade amirite

Everyone's invited This is how we live We are here for each other, happy to give All we have we share And all of us we care

There's a bond between us nobody can explain It's a celebration of life We see our friends again I'll be there for you I know you'll be there for me, too So come on!

This has to be the most beautiful The most peaceful place I've ever been to It's nothing like I've never seen before When I think how far I've come I can't believe it And yet I see it In them I see family I see the way we used to be...

The Great Divide - Tinkerbell and the Secret of the Wings

🏳️‍🌈

I'm on your side Let's take this ride And together we're facing the world Doing things nobody's done before And the great divide doesn’t seem so wide anymore

With You by My Side - Tangled: the Series

💗 - tangled the series was so close to being canon polyam istg

Now; now more than ever We must stick together united

If we're destined to head in our own different ways Let's make the most of these sweet final days Why not go out in a glorious blaze

There's nothing I couldn't do Not with you by my side What in the world would I do Without you by my side...

Love Will Find a Way - The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride

🏳️‍🌈 🌈

In a perfect world One we've never known We would never need to face the world alone They can have the world We'll create our own I may not be brave or strong or smart But somewhere in my secret heart

And if only they could feel it too The happiness I feel with you

Like dark turning into day Somehow we'll come through Now that I've found you Love will find a way I know love will find a way

Space Between - Descendants 2

🧡 never have i ever seen gays flock to a song faster

And you can find me in the space between Where two worlds come to meet I'll never be out of reach Cause you're a part of me so you can find me in the space between You'll never be alone No matter where you go We can meet in the space between

Even if we're worlds apart You're still in my heart It will always be you and me, yeah

If I Never Knew You - Pocahontas

🏳️‍🌈🌈

And if I never held you I would never have a clue How at last I'd find in you The missing part of me...

In this world so full of fear Full of rage and lies I can see the truth so clear In your eyes So dry your eyes

If I never knew you I'd be safe but half as real Never knowing I could feel A love so strong and true

I thought our love would be so beautiful Somehow we'd make the whole world bright I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong All they'd leave us were these whispers in the night But still my heart is saying we were right

I’d Give Anything - Tangled: the Series

🧡 rapunzel’s sad breakup song

So if you find that you're in darkness or despair Though you won't turn to me please know I'll be right there Name any sacrifice, I'll pay the price that's due Cause I'd give anything for you Yes, I'd give anything to relive everything we knew...

Someday - Hunchback of Notre Dame

🏳️‍🌈

I used to believe In the days I was naïve That I'd live to see A day of justice dawn And though I will die Long before that morning comes I'll die while believing still It will come when I am gone

Someday, when we are wiser When the world's older, when we have learned I pray someday we may yet live To live and let live

Someday, these dreams will all be real Till then we'll wish upon the moon Change will come, one day Someday soon...

No One Is Alone - Into the Woods

🏳️‍🌈

Mother cannot guide you, now your on your own. Only me beside you, still you're not alone. No one is alone. Truly, no one is alone…

People make mistakes Holding to their own Thinking they’re alone

Someone is on your side, someone else is not While we’re seeing our side, maybe we forgot They are not alone, no one is alone...

I Am Moana (Song of the Ancestors) - Moana

🏳️‍🌈 🤍 - it’s about the self-acceptance binch

Sometimes, the world seems against you The journey may leave a scar But scars can heal and reveal just Where you are

The people you love will change you The things you have learned will guide you And nothing on Earth can silence The quiet voice still inside you

I've delivered us to where we are I have journeyed farther I am everything I've learned and more Still it calls me

And the call isn't out there at all, it's inside me! It's like the tide, always falling and rising I will carry you here in my heart, you remind me That come what may I know the way

Show Yourself - Frozen 2

🏳️‍🌈 - this one was claimed immediately by the queer community and we all have a stake in it but i do want to point out that i got this from a LOT of 🤍 🖤 💜 💚

I have always been a fortress Cold secrets deep inside You have secrets too But you don't have to hide

I've never felt so certain All my life, I've been torn But I'm here for a reason Could it be the reason I was born? I have always been so different Normal rules did not apply Is this the day? Are you the way I finally find out why?

Oh, show yourself Let me see who you are... Come to me now Open your door Don't make me wait One moment more!

(Come, my darling, homeward bound) I am found!

Transformation / Beauty and the Beast (Reprise) - Beauty and the Beast Broadway Production

🏳️‍🌈

We are home, we are where we shall be forever Trust in me, for you know I won’t run away from today This is all that I need, and all that I need to say Don’t you know how you’ve changed me? Strange how I finally see I found home, you’re my home, stay with me...

Finale / Let it Go - Frozen Broadway Production

🏳️‍🌈 this makes me bawl so it gets finale

There’s so much I longed to say Then say it all, beginning with today It’s like a dream I thought could never be Elsa, you’re free

Here we stand in the light of day Let the sun shine on

I take this warmth within and send it up above Goodbye to dark and fear, let’s fill this world with light and love And here surrounded by a family at least We’re never going back, the past is in the past

Let our true love go Let it go!

#disney #disney songs #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #mine

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ontherockswithsalt · 5 years

Text

This Charming Man - Something To Wear

A Joble Fanfic

Rating: E

(previous chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5) | (ao3 story link)

A/N: This was a classic scene to rewrite and I hope you like it lol. Adding Bianca into the mix made it more fun.

Chapter 6.

“Bianca.”

“Who is this?” My sister’s scratchy voice mumbles on the other end of the line.

“It’s me!” I angle the receiver closer to my mouth before I pick up the hotel phone from the nightstand and pull it onto the bed.

“Noble,” she realizes and I can hear her shifting around. I obviously woke her up. “I tried calling you all night. You never answered.”

“I haven’t been home.”

“Are you okay?”

“Guess where I am.”

“Oh jeez.” She groans. “I told you if you get arrested, to use your one phone call on Bobby because I don’t have bail money--”

“No listen.” I blow that off, refusing to acknowledge that of all places, she assumes I’m in jail. “A guy picked me up last night -- in a fucking Lotus Esprit -- and I’m in his penthouse at the Waldorf Hotel.”

“What?” She shouts.

“Yeah,” I laugh. “And get this. He wants me to stay the week and he’s gonna pay me three thousand dollars.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“No.”

“What’s up with him?” She wonders.

“I don’t really know.”

“Is he… like, deranged?”

I chuckle. “No. Well. He doesn’t seem to be.”

“Ugly?”

“He’s…” And I pause, closing my eyes because I need to stop believing that he’s so goddamn attractive. It’s going to get me in over my head. “Decent-looking.”

“What sort of-- No, don’t answer that.”

“It’s like he just wants someone to hang out with him for the week.”

“That can’t be it,” she doubts.

“But here’s the thing. I have to go to fancy dinners and shit with him because he’s some big deal and I’m supposed to wear a suit. So will you help me?”

___

“Can’t we just go to Canal Street?” I ask, glancing over my shoulder at my sister and book it through the crosswalk. “I’ve seen this sign in my neighborhood -- two suits for thirty dollars. They’ll custom fit.”

“Noble, that place has roast duck hanging in the window, you’re not getting a suit there.”

“They sell the suits out of the back.”

"No. You need something nice," she insists. "This guy is expecting you to look the part. That's why we're on Madison Avenue."

I peer up at the sleek designer storefronts, one right after another, and I sort of dread the idea of spending money up here. But obviously Bianca doesn’t because she tugs on my arm and hurries over to one of the shops.

Inside I don't even know what I'm looking at. Backlit shelves feature like, one tie displayed next to a rack with minimal options of white shirts. As we peruse, I flip over a price tag on a sleeve and see six hundred and something dollars before I flick it from my fingers and move on.

"Is there something I can help you with?" One woman proposes, whose gaze has been trailing us from the front counter since we came in here.

Bianca speaks up. "Oh, we're just looking."

I glance over and offer my best attempt at a pleasant smile but I know I just make her uncomfortable.

"What is it you're looking for?" A man -- probably the manager and definitely gay -- rounds one of the displays and feels compelled to join in this investigation. He eyes me, and not in the intrigued way Jamie does, but like he can't believe I've set foot in his store in a shirt I've had since high school and jeans I stole from an ex.

I chew nervously on the edge of my thumb. "I uh… was checking out your suits," I tell him. Then I look over and spot a headless mannequin in what looks like a normal enough suit. "How much is this?"

The manager, with his John Waters mustache that he's not pulling off, tilts his head. "I don't think that would fit you."

A puff of a laugh escapes me. "I didn't ask if it would fit. I asked how much it was."

He blinks over at his associate. "How much is that suit, Annette?"

The woman, wearing big dangling earrings, her bleached, almost white hair pulled back tight narrows her gaze. "It's very expensive."

He looks at me and echoes, "It's very expensive."

"Listen," Bianca pipes up. "We've got money to spend in here--"

"Hey." I stop her with a subtle touch on her arm. "Don't." These assholes would call the cops for nothing.

"I think you're in the wrong place," the manager tells us. "And you should leave."

"Oh," my sister gripes. "Why, what are you gonna--"

"Come on," I mutter to her with a step back. "Let's go." And I can't even look at these people as we turn for the door.

"I wouldn't shop here anyway," Bianca can't help but chirp over her shoulder as I lead her away. "Unless I was some--" Then she pauses to gesture a swirling hand at the salesman. "Washed up magician."

I push open the door and I hear the man bid us a fake good day before I look back and see Bianca present her middle finger and follow me outside.

"Jesus, what a dick," she complains.

I'm already lighting a cigarette on the sidewalk when she makes her way over. "Yeah well--" I hold my inhale for a calming beat before I let out a steady stream of smoke and we start walking. "What do you expect?"

"Let's try Macy's or something," she suggests.

"No." I'm already over it and I set my gaze some place far away. "I'm probably just gonna bail."

"Fuck them, Noble. We'll go somewhere else. How hard is it to buy a damn suit?"

"I don't want to, Bianca." I cut her off and walk a little faster, making it hard for her to keep up as we weave through the people on Madison Avenue.

"You gonna bail on three grand because a couple nobodies at a store were mean to us? Who cares about them?"

Apparently I do because it got to me. The way they looked at us got under my skin. I don't know how it's so thin all of a sudden; people judge me all the time and I'm pretty good at ignoring it. But I'm too aware of it now -- how less than I am. Why should I try to fake that I'm not?

"I'm gonna go back to the hotel," I tell her once she's at my side again. "I'll figure it out."

She knows me well enough not to press and just walks with me for a minute. “You sure you’re good?” She eventually asks.

After a long drag, I flick some ash away and lift my chin to slowly exhale. “I’m good.”

“You promise you’ll call me, okay? I worry about you.”

“Bianca,” I chuckle. “Do you realize what you’re walking me back to? This is easy. Don’t feel sorry for me.”

“I’m worried you’re going to get hurt.”

I look over at her. “Hurt drinking scotch in some rich guy’s penthouse? I don’t think you understand the kinds of shady places I’ve ended up in the middle of the night. This is like a vacation.”

“I don’t mean hurt like that. Like that guy who tried to stab you,” she says.

I glance down, considering it over another drag. “I know what you mean,” I murmur. “It’s just a job.”

“Alright,” she agrees softly. “I’m gonna leave you here then, and head downtown.”

That’s probably a smart decision. The staff at the Waldorf-Astoria don’t need to leer at me walking in with this chick with fire red hair and an artfully torn up KISS t-shirt, leather mini skirt and fishnet tights. They already have their suspicions about me. Although a part of me does want her to walk through that lobby just to give someone a stroke.

“I’ll call you,” I assure her. And with a hug at the corner, we part ways and I head on to Park Avenue.

Once I push through the revolving door, I keep my head down but I’m only a few steps in when a woman in a smart skirt suit follows in step beside me.

“Excuse me, sir, can I help you?” She wonders.

I keep walking. “I’m going to my room.”

“You’re a guest here?”

And just then I remember I forgot to take the credit-card-looking key thing with me to let myself back in. “Yeah.” I scratch a hand through my hair and slow my pace to look at her. “I’m on the top floor. I’m… staying with someone.”

Her gaze falls briefly. “And who would that be?”

“Jamie,” I tell her, then press my lips together in this guilty way and sort of hope that my otherwise charming face convinces her to let me into the room.

“Jamie,” she repeats.

“Mm-hm. Jamie…” Then I glance away for a moment. “The… lawyer.”

She nods once. “Right. I’m going to need you to come with me.”

“Ah, come on,” I complain, suddenly louder which I know isn’t helping my case. She places a hand on the middle of my back and guides me around the corner. “God, what? What is with everyone today?” I call out irritably as she steers us down a hallway door and I’m led into what I assume is her office.

“Now what is your name, young man?” She wonders after I’ve sunk down in one of her leather chairs opposite a heavy desk.

“What do you want it to be?”

She blinks from her seat, but otherwise her face doesn’t move as she stares me down.

I give in. “Noble.”

“Thank you. Noble. I’m Jacqueline Hart, I’m the manager of this hotel. Now--” She starts in, folding her hands on top of her desk. It makes me feel like I’m in the principal’s office. “Things that go on at other hotels don’t happen here at the Waldorf-Astoria. However, we take very good care of our guests. And Mister Reagan is a very special guest. We’d like to consider him a friend and for a friend, we’ll make certain exceptions.”

I cut my eyes to the side to keep from rolling them skyward. I could tell you stories of things that actually go on at these hotels, lady.

She goes on. “So I assume you’re a…” Then she pauses and looks at me, eyebrows raised.

My forehead creases and I stall for an answer.

“Family member?” She finishes.

Bringing my hand to my mouth, I bite the edge of my finger and mutter, “Yeah. I’m his…” Then I clear my throat and shift. “--Cousin.”

“Of course.” She gives me a tight-lipped smile. “That’s fine. And I hope it’s your understanding that after your stay here, we won’t be seeing each other again--”

I blink in surprise, pulling my chin back.

“And while you’re here,” she continues. “I think it would benefit you to dress more appropriately for a hotel of this caliber. That’s all--”

“No--no-no.” I sit up. “That’s not all. See, that’s the problem. I tried to go out today to pick up some things to wear while I’m here, but it’s like I couldn’t get any help. Which is bullshit,” I rant, shifting to reach into the pocket of my jeans and I notice her visibly stiffen as she anticipates my next move. I dig out the cash and present the rumpled, folded bills. “Because I have all this money. Right? But the people at these stores are assholes--”

Furrowing her brow, Jacqueline turns toward her phone, and tries not to let the alarm surface on her face but I can see it in her eyes.

“What?” I wonder as she picks up the receiver and presses one of her speed dial buttons. “What, are you calling the cops? Great.” I shrug, slumping back in the chair. “That’s great. Tell them I said hi--”

She swallows hard. “Sam in menswear, please.”

I shut my mouth and watch her, one eyebrow gradually perking up.

“Sam, this is Jacqueline Hart from the Waldorf. How are you?” She pauses, glancing off to the side with a grin, then lets out this airy giggle as they exchange opening small talk. “I’m sending over a very special friend this afternoon. His name is Noble and I would be so appreciative if you could take good care of him for me.”

#jamie x noble #joble fanfiction

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eternvlblyss · 5 years

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my college story

I wanted to write about my whole college experience, so here is my attempt.

1st Year

Freshman year, I started my college career in August 2014, at UC Merced. I was nervous as heck, as an incoming freshman should feel, and I was going into this university by myself with no friends from my high school or anyone. The first semester really, really sucked, not gonna lie. I had some trouble with my roommates. I wasn’t used to their lifestyle and I really bottled up all of my emotions. I was very quiet and reserved, and it was my first time living with people who were so different than me. I didn’t know how to speak up to them because I was too afraid. Plus, I actually felt homesick, even though I was just 2 hours away from my family. Education wise, I didn’t do well in my classes at all. In just my first semester of college, I didn’t pass 2 of my classes, leaving me on academic probation. I was so scared because I have never, ever failed a class. I saw that some of the new friends I made got dismissed from the university, and that truly frightened me because I could possibly get kicked out myself.

So I forced myself to focus more my second semester. I found a great set of friends who helped me out with my roommate situation, as well as supported me in my studies. They helped with making me feel less homesick. As the second semester came to an end, I was happy that I chose to come to UC Merced. I already became so very close to my friends I made that I didn’t really want to go on summer vacation. Also, I was off academic probation (:

2nd Year

Sophomore year came around, and I was dorming with my best friend Ravneet, which I was so excited about! I was excited to see many of my other friends, but definitely not excited to start classes. I thought this time around I would’ve been used to the transition and pace of college courses, but I wasn’t. I was struggling in my chemistry class and wasn’t able to complete my writing course (which I then withdrew from), resulting in me going back on academic probation. I was so disappointed in myself because I thought I had learned from my first year. Then it was my second semester, and I had 2 science classes; one was completely new to me and one I was retaking. Although I passed majority of my classes that semester, I still didn’t pass one. I was in good standing, but not passing that class just got to me. I was so disappointed and ashamed, that I did something so horrible to myself. I began self-harming, because even though people said “it was okay” and “you could just retake it,” I was so fed up with myself. It’s like I NEVER learned! I knew I could’ve done better or focused more or studied more, but I didn’t, and I ended up not passing yet another class again. My friends were very supportive though, and helped me realize that these things just happen and I couldn’t dwell on it so much. All I could do was redeem myself the next time around.

In the summer of 2016, I stayed in Merced, attempting to retake that one class I didn’t pass, along with another class, in hopes to catch up. By then, I knew I was behind on my path to graduation. I just wanted nothing more than to be on track to graduate in Spring 2018. Even though I was taking 2 science classes in the summer, I still managed to have fun with my friends as well as focus on my studies. It was a struggle don’t get me wrong, I don’t know what I was thinking to take 2 science classes during the summer! I also started a job at the Campus Store which I’m glad I got because I was applying to so many places for a summer job, and I finally had this. Going back to my classes though, I passed them both thank god.

3rd year

Now for my Junior year! I was living in a house with my 2 best friends (shoutout to Ravneet and Odalys) and I was still working at the Campus Store! Until I wasn’t anymore...lol I was only a temporary, and was let go, which bummed me out because I was starting to befriend a lot of my coworkers. But I mean, it was what it was. The class load for my fall semester included a bio class and lab, a chem class and lab, physics with a lab, and a psych class. Again...why did I take 3 labs together? I don’t know man, I really wanted to get out of there within 4 years, and since it was my junior year, I was so close. I did relatively well towards the end of the semester, but again, I failed my organic chemistry class. I was put on academic probation. I think if I remember correctly, I didn’t tell my family that I had failed that class, the plan was to retake it in the summer. I was disappointed in myself, as usual, and continued to self-harm because I was the only one punishing myself while everyone around me kept comforting and coddling me. I knew they meant well, but my logic was, how was I ever going to learn if no one punished me? My friends at the time knew of this happening and encouraged me to go and seek help, but I rejected them, saying that it’s fine and it’s only this moment that I’m feeling like this.

I then moved onto spring semester. This time for spring 2017, I decided to lighten my class load. I was also asked to come back to work at the Campus Store, and I’m really glad I was given the offer because i missed my coworkers. I was taking 3 courses and the light load really did help. I passed all 3 and was off academic probation (: I did struggle though, because I was taking a genetics class, and that was pure torture. That was the first class that had ALL short answer questions for exams and the final. And if you know me, I suck at doing short answer and essay questions. Absolutely hated them.

So summer came again, and this was my chance to retake my Ochem class! So that’s all I took during the summer, just one course. You’d think that with just one course on my plate, I’d be fine...but nope. Ochem was the death of me, and I didn’t pass it AGAIN! Now that really got the best of me. I begged my professor to reconsider any extra credit opportunities for me, but there was nothing she could do. I cried so much when I saw my final grade and I fell into a depression. Because dude...I failed the ONLY class I was taking during the summer. I wasted my ENTIRE summer for a class that I didn’t even pass! My mom and dad were very supportive of me though. I think they noticed how hard I really tried for that class, because I truly looked defeated and like I didn’t want to continue anymore. They gave words of encouragement and comforted me. It took me a while to get over it of course, but I told them my plan to retake it next year in the summer, and they supported me. By then, I had a feeling that i wasn’t going to be graduating with my best friends in Spring 2018.

4th year

Fall 2017! Which was at the time, my senior year of college (: I made it this far, and I couldn’t believe it because of all the freakin’ hardships I went through in the past. But this was my senior year, and I was so ready for a new academic year. I took 4 classes, one being an online class offered at UC Riverside. It was a lighter load than usual, but this one bio 110 class was killing me. The first exam for that course was so difficult, I did horrible on it. From then on, I still did not improve in the class. The exams were all short answer questions and the professors expected very specific/detailed answers. I was taking this class with one of my best friends, Ice, and even though we both struggled in the class, it was nice to know that I wasn’t alone in this. She helped me majorly with studying and checking in on me, and I appreciate her so much. I ended the semester with a good standing, but I failed that bio class, which to me now was not surprising.

Spring semester rolled around and the first thing I did was go and talk to my advisor to see if I would be able to walk in the Spring Commencement with my friends. I was told yes, but I would need to take 3 classes during the summer. And I really, really considered it because 1) I wanted SOO badly to graduate with my friends because I didn’t want to stay another semester at school if they weren’t going to be there, and 2) I just thought I needed to finish in 4 years because that was just the norm. I thought long and hard about it, and I ended up just taking my time during the semester. I was taking 3 classes, one of which of I was retaking. I was taking 2 upper div BIO classes and 1 upper div ESS class, which I thought wasn’t too bad. But boy...was I wrong. My bio classes were still so difficult and required so much work out of me, I became stressed and slightly depressed. I would have random bursts of me being so angry with myself and I still never stopped self-harming. It was my way of punishing myself because no one else was going to. I’d get anxiety attacks (at the time, i just thought they were asthma attacks) before a test or a quiz or even when I was just thinking about something that made me anxious. Those really affected my work in school. It got so bad that I gave into my friends words, and began going to CAPs, the counseling services offered on campus. I went once a week, talked with my therapist, but I wasn’t going for myself. I was only attending the appointments to show my friends that I was actually going. I didn’t take it seriously and wasn’t truthful throughout my time there, but when my therapist told me I didn’t need to come in anymore, I immediately took that advice and stopped going towards the middle of the semester (which was a huge mistake I didn’t know I was making). As the semester was coming to an end, I was starting to accept the fact that my friends will be graduating and I won’t be. My plan then was to graduate before 2018 ended (because that was supposedly MY YEAR to graduate), so I still had that chance to do so in the coming fall semester. I struggled as usual, studied my butt off for finals and barely got any sleep, all while working at the Campus Store. I ended the semester with a good standing, but yet again, not passing that one darn bio class. Now i had 2 classes that I failed twice; Ochem and BIO 110. I was slowly giving up, slowly becoming less and less motivated to even finish this college thing, and slowly having negative thoughts flooding into my mind saying that I couldn’t do this anymore. But, I attended my best friends graduation and watched them walk across that stage. My own mistakes and disappointment in myself didn’t make me any less proud of them. I was SO overjoyed to see them walk and finish college. But the thought of them leaving did affect me. They were my support system in school because they knew about ALL of my struggles and my mental health, no one else did, not even my family. So it sucked to know that I had to continue on in the fall semester without them by my side.

I took summer classes though. I enrolled in 3. After spring semester ended, I went straight into summer sessions. I was retaking bio 110 and ochem, which I had to petition to retake for the third time. I was also taking a pysch class because I needed the units to graduate. I can’t stress this enough, but this was the absolute WORST summer of my life. I became so depressed and had anxiety almost every single time I was by myself. I know some people won’t understand how this feels, but best believe me, it felt like all of the life was drained out of me, literally. I started going back to my therapist and this time I started off right. I was truthful with her, and told her EVERYTHING that bothered me. I even told her that I did have suicidal thoughts and that I have been self-harming frequently. She encouraged me to go on medicine for how I was feeling, but with the stigma around taking medicine for your mental health, I was a little iffy. I asked my friends for advice and I went to go see a doctor to talk about it more in depth, and a week later I started taking it, twice a day. Slowly throughout the summer session, I was getting better. But I was alone for most of it. I did my best to keep myself occupied so I wouldn’t have to think about the bad thoughts. I would go to my classes during the day, go home to rest and eat something for like an hour, and then head back to campus to study because I just could not handle being alone in that house at all. I didn’t even trust myself on the weekends. I made plans to go home every weekend because who knows what I could have done to myself when I wasn’t around people. I was very aware of my condition and I didn’t want to risk it, so I went home every weekend, enjoyed my time with my family, up until I had to go back to Merced on Sundays. THANKFULLY, that summer ended, I passed ALL of my classes, and I went straight into the fall semester.

5th year

So, my senior, senior year, Fall 2018. I was excited to start because during the summer I was just all alone and no one I knew was on campus. It sucked. This time I’d be working with my coworkers, I’d be seeing some of my friends in classes, so I was feeling better than I did in the summer. I still took my medication regularly and attended my appointments, everything was well! I was even going out a lot more with my friends, which was very rare for me. I didn’t think that after my 2 best friends graduated, I would make other friends, but I did (: I was taking my last bit of upper division bio classes that I needed to graduate, and I ended up with one of the hardest ones at the UC. I really tried to get out of it, but I couldn’t, and ended up just suffering through that class. Ice, one of my best friends, was very helpful to me in this class. She tried her best to teach me as much as she could, but it was just me. I couldn’t get the material at all. I was slowly getting better at thinking more optimistic, but as the semester came to an end, I came up short once again, failing that bio class. I was supposed to be DONE this semester. I even participated in my Fall Graduation and walked across that stage, but I didn’t pass one class. I was on academic probation, again. It really sucked, like really, really sucked I had to go back for another semester, but I knew dwelling on it wasn’t going to change anything. So I got to work, and petitioned for another semester. Shout out to my friend Vanessa, for helping me through that process, (along with so many other things she’s helped me with. bless her soul, I’m so glad I got closer to her this past year (’: ). Along with that, I had told some people about my medicine and my mental health, and as I suspected, they did not understand. I didn’t get the support I thought I would get, and I was judged for being on medicine that was helping me get better. It was whatever though, I was just glad I didn’t have to keep it a secret anymore, and I never brought it up to them ever again. I was fine with knowing that some people wouldn’t understand, but at least I knew my close friends did, and I appreciate them so much.

Going back to my petition for a new semester, I got it approved! and I was back at UC Merced for my last and final semester! This was my last chance here, because I was maxed out of semesters also. I didn’t like the fact that I took 5 years, but I got over it soon enough. Everyone has their own pace and it’s no race to get your degree. As long as you never give up and you get it. This semester ran way smoother than ALL of my past semesters combined. I was working and I was a part time student, also taking a human anatomy class at the community college in town. It didn’t really hit me that this was my last semester, until I went in and took my last ever final at the UC. All of the friends that I made in my last year here, they were all graduating like me. I’ve gotten so close to so many of them. It was a bittersweet feeling because these friends I made mean so much to me and as harsh as it may sound, I didn’t think I’d be so affected by them. I thought that after my group of friends that graduated in 2018 left, I’d be a loner and done with saying ‘see you laters’ to people. But i’m so glad that wasn’t the case, because I love my group of friends that I made, just as much as my other group of friends. Special shoutout to Susan, because she was the one person who actually got me and I related to. Thank you for being there! Same to Vanessa, whom I grew very close to this past year. Thank you for being another person I could talk to about anything. Being that only a select few knew about that part of me, I felt comfortable with sharing issues about my mental health to you, so thank you so so much for being there for me.

Just 4 days ago, I saw that my final for my last class at the UC was graded, and I didn’t pass the class. I was absolutely devastated AND EMBARRASSED. Here I was, telling everyone I’d be finishing this semester, when I just received an email saying that I didn’t pass the class by 2%. TWO PERCENT. I only told 3 people about this, and they supported me in whatever I needed to do. I was all out of semesters at the UC too so I was stressed out about what I was going to do. My friends told me it was going to be okay, it’s alright if I need to go back to a different university to retake just one class, and they even advised me to email the professor in hopes that she would understand my situation. But, I tried to not let it get the best of me because my friends were going to be graduating that weekend, and I wanted to show up for them and cheer them on. So I enjoyed my weekend and saw my friends all look beautiful and walk across that stage. I made them leis and helped them get ready before the ceremony, and yeah (’: I’m so proud of them. Here’s some pictures of them down below! Shoutout to Vanessa and Andres and Ari and Cynthia and to Susan and Zhane and Jelena and Keanu! Congratulations to all of you guys, and the rest of the campus store graduates, whom i didn’t get to take pictures with! Y’all did it!

Then Monday came, and my class came into my mind again. I had emailed my professor over the weekend asking if there was anything I could do to just earn that 2%. She got back to me Sunday, saying that she was going to recheck my final and asked me to come by. So I was ready. I was about to head out to her office to meet with her, when I saw an email from her. In this email, she basically said that there was nothing she could do and that she couldn’t offer any extra points. I literally stopped in my tracks, and felt so defeated. I broke down crying because dude, my last and only class that I needed, and I didn’t pass it by 2%. I met with one of my friends, and she told me to still go and meet with her and explain my situation. This class was my ticket OUT and my ticket to my degree! Shoutout to Vanessa once more, for trying to help me out even from her own home in San Bernardino, and shoutout to Zhane for letting me sob my eyes out on her shoulder. Just yesterday, (and boy was it a loonnngg and emotional day yesterday), I got enough points needed to pass the class, and I can now OFFICIALLY SAY,

I GRADUATED FROM UC MERCED!!

I know it took me very long, and I know people will talk and judge, even the people very closest to me, but I could honestly care less. I finished at my own pace and I’m so very happy (’: past Alyssa cared SOO MUCH about doing the norm and listening to people who kept telling her that she couldn’t do it or that she wasn’t smart enough to be in college or to even be in her major because she kept failing classes. I wish I could’ve told her sooner that it doesn’t matter what they think. People can say what they want and you should just do you! If only I had known sooner to shut out those negative thoughts, then maybe I wouldn’t have struggled so much throughout my years here, but...I wouldn’t change my journey at all.

For people struggling with their mental health, it’s very important to reach out and ask for help. Take it from me, who for 3 years, kept denying that I had an actual problem and kept quiet about it. I bottled up so much that it got worse and worse every time I denied to go and seek help. I get it may be scary to speak about it to someone, but once you start talking to someone, you’ll slowly start to feel better.

Big, big thanks to my family, for supporting me in so many different ways. I know you all mean well, thank you for supporting me financially and emotionally and for allowing me to realize that I shouldn’t care what people say about me or my journey.

Thank you to ALL of my friends that I made here (’: I’m going to miss you guys so much. And to my friends who have graduated already and are doing things out there in the real world, I miss you guys so much and I hope everything is going well!

Thank you to UC Merced for this amazing and difficult journey lol you were tough, but I met so many amazing people because of you. I also (as cliche as this is) discovered myself because of you (’: you will always be seen as blessing in my life, and I will never forget the memories you gave me!

Just a reminder to everyone: I was on academic probation 4 times, I didn’t pass 9 classes, I withdrew from 1 class, and I never gave up. I’m not saying that failing so many times is okay to do, but what I want to express is that if you do fail, don’t let it get the best of you. Get back up and keep trying! Don’t give up! There were countless times where I wanted to give up EVERYTHING I worked so hard for, but I didn’t. To anyone who needs this and sees this, you got this (:

Now...for a song that is near and dear to my heart and really explains mine and many others journeys so well

youtube

#blyss #my college story #college #university #graduation #class of 2019 #class of 2018 #uc merced #mental health #anxiety #depression #blog

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5hfanfiction · 6 years

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Patient 743 - Chapter 5

A/N: Trigger warning, this chapter contains a slight abuse scene.

Camila’s POV

My head was beginning to pound as I made my way out of the main corridor and into the break room for all of the staff. I quickly slid my employee card and signed out for the day, I went to my locker and grabbed my backpack, checking my time. Four fifteen, perfect. Ally, one of my classmates who is also in the early nursing program should be here any second. And as if on cue, I turn around and see her walking into the room, a ray of sunshine surrounding her. Ally is the type of girl who had the smile that could end world wars and cure cancer.

“Ally, you know the new patient that is in Normani’s room? Lauren? Can you please go and check on her tonight. She wasn’t feeling well and I just want to make sure she is okay.”

“Of course Mila, what was wrong?” Ally’s whole body language changed and concern was written all over her face.

“She just randomly started to throw up, and a lot. Just keep me updated, please? And since dinner is served in forty-five please make sure she eats, even if it is just a little bit of something.”

I didn’t know if I felt guilty for what Austin had said to Lauren, but my stomach began to feel uneasy. I ran my fingers through my messy hair as I threw my bag over my shoulder. Stepping forward I wrap my arms around Ally’s short frame, pulling her into a tight hug, squeezing her lightly.

“Thank you Allycat.”

“It’s no problem, enjoy your night Camila. I’ll text you if anything comes up.”

I smile at her before I make my way to the exit of the room and walked into the lobby. I notice Austin on his phone, a goofy smile plastered over his face, rolling my eyes instantly.

“Hey.” I tap on his shoulders to get his attention.

“God, finally. You take for-fucking-ever.”

“Well, excuse me for trying to help people.”

I quickly began to walk out of the building and into the parking lot towards Austin’s car, with him following. Once he unlocks it I slip into the passenger side.

Austin finally speaks up as he is driving.

“You can’t save the crazies, Camila.”

I felt the anger rise through my whole body at his words. “Take me home. Now.”

Austin turns his gaze towards me and laughs obnoxiously.

“What? No, it’s almost been two months since you’ve slept with me and this is the only time my parents aren’t home.”

I didn’t realize it until the car stopped but he pulled up and into his driveway. He turned his face towards me, reached out and grabbed the side of my face with his hand roughly gripping my jaw, and shoved his tongue into my mouth. I pulled away instantly, stepping out of the car and started to walk down his driveway.

“I’ll just walk home, fuck you.” I nearly yell at him before I feel his strong grip moving around my waist, pushing me back and slamming his body against mine, which was now pressed up against his car.

I gazed up at him with a pleading glare, fear beginning to take over my body as I feel his lips pressing down on my neck.

“Austin, please, let go of me.”

After my words choked out I felt his hand sliding down between our bodies, past my jeans, and into my panties. I quickly pushed on his shoulders as hard as I could manage to try and force him off of me. As soon as I did I felt a quick thud against the left side of my face, a stinging sensation began to move across all my facial features.

I knew I had to get out of here, so I quickly brought my leg up and kicked Austin between his legs. He doubled over and fell down on his knees. I took this opportunity to run down his street and towards my best friend, Dinah’s house. I quickly grabbed my phone out of my backpack, still running as I dialed her number.

“Hey, Mila.” Dinah’s voice spoke through the device.

“Please tell me you’re home right now.” My voice was shaky and I had trouble speaking out the words while running at the same time. I hate running, why do people do this for fun?

“Yeah I am, what’s wrong?”

“I’ll explain when I get there.”

I hung up the phone and began running even faster, just in case Austin decided to get into his car to chase me down. I took shortcuts through alleyways until I finally reached Dinah’s front door. Knocking a few times, crossing my arms over my chest as I gazed down Dinah’s street, half expecting Austin to show up any minute.

“Hey- Oh my god. What the hell happened?”

I looked down, walking past Dinah and into her house, finally breaking down I let the tears fall.

I was never the kind of person to be able to hold in my tears. Dinah immediately pulled me into her embrace, my head falling into her chest. My arms shakily moving around her middle.

“Mila?” Dinah ran her hands along my back in an attempt to calm me down.

I took a deep breath and cleared my throat.

“Austin. He tried to get into my pants, I said no, but he kept touching me. When I finally pushed him away he hit me.”

“Okay, I’m going to go and poly beat that little dorito into itty bitty crumbs.”

Dinah pulled away and began to make her way towards her door, but I grabbed her wrist, pulling her back so she was facing me.

“Dinah, can you just please stay with me? I need you.” I didn’t want to have to deal with him anymore then I had to.

“Fine. But I swear his little ess has a big storm coming if he lays one little finger on you. Nobody is allowed to push you around unless it is me.”

Dinah’s words made a small smile begin to form its way onto my lips. I reached down and interlocked our fingers together, sighing as I reached my free hand up to my face, flinching instantly as I felt pain shoot through my touch.

“Here, come on. Let me be the nurse for once and fix you up for a change.”

Dinah led me into the upstairs bathroom, making me sit on the counter as she pulled out a first aid kit, getting out some antibacterial medicine.

“It looks like his nails cut your face in some pretty deep scratches, and your skin is really purple.”

After she finished rubbing the medicine on the open wounds she instructed me to go into her room and set up Netflix, which I did. When Dinah entered the room she was holding a bag of ice with a thin paper towel wrapped around the bag.

“Here, you need to put this on your face to bring the swelling down, fifteen minutes on, and fifteen minutes off.”

I knew I probably looked like a mess but I didn’t care. Dinah was my best friend since I could remember, she has seen all the good and all the bad sides of me and I am extremely lucky to have someone as amazing as her in my life.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard my phone ding. With my free hand, I grabbed my phone which was in my backpack, my other hand holding the bag of ice to my face.

I unlocked my phone and looked at the screen, noticing I had a new text from Ally.

Ally: Hey Mila, I’m just texting you to keep you informed on Lauren like you asked. I have been with her all evening. She did get sick again, but it wasn’t very much, and when I sat down at dinner with her we got to chatting. I made sure she ate enough and we walked back into her room. We actually really clicked, she opened up to me about her school life and just some things she enjoyed doing. I’m not sure if you care about that or not and I realize that I am rambling but I am just sitting on Normani’s bed watching Lauren, she is beginning to doze off to sleep and says she is feeling better. Have a great night, if you need anything you know where to find me.

I couldn’t help but smile down at my phone, happy I had Ally to keep me updated on Lauren’s status and how she was doing. I thought for a moment before I tilted my head to the side, typing back to Ally.

Camila: Thank you so much Ally, I’m so appreciative of you.

Ally: She is my patient too, I need to look after everyone in this wing. You don’t have to thank me at all.

Camila: I know, but I’ve just appreciative of you. I’m glad to have you in my life.

Ally: Have a safe night, Mila. I love you.

Camila: I love you too.

I threw my phone on the nightstand next to Dinah’s bed, closing my eyes.

“Mila, what do you want to watch? Dinah questioned as she laid next to me, browsing the titles on Netflix, pondering what to watch.

"Hm, I don’t know. Surprise me.” I quietly mumbled.

I didn’t realize it but I was dozing off, eventually completely falling asleep with my head on Dinah’s chest.

#UPDATE #series #AU #trigger warning #camren #submission #Patient 743

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feynites · 7 years

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I did more Modern Werewolves aka Modern Fen’Sulahn Kel x Olwyn AU! Tagging @justanartsysideblog for it! <3

Kel means to take it slow with the Sexy Biker Lady, she really does.

Rebounds are not generally her thing. They just don’t seem to have a lot of appeal – although, admittedly, she hasn’t been dumped that many times. So maybe they are, and she just hasn’t had the opportunity to realize it before?

But it’s not as if she calls Olwyn up straight away. The number sits in her phone for a few days, as she more or less resumes business as usual. As usual as it can be, all things considered. She walks her new beat a few more nights without much incident. The streets are quiet. She sees the weird owl she’d noticed the first night a few more times, but it seems perfectly content to lurk in the trees around The Den apartment building, glaring disgruntledly at Kel while she checks the alleyways next to the building for any stray…

Dogs, she supposes.

Or drunks.

Drunk dogs.

Wildlife isn’t really her jurisdiction, though, and stray pets and cosplayers(?) only barely are.

The more time she gives it, the more she can sort of convince herself that the people she saw were just in really, really nice costumes. Drunken costume enthusiasts. Who looked very realistic because of the… lighting, probably.

After a few more rounds, Kel decided to make it a point to swing by during the day, too. The south side of the city has not had a good relationship with the police force. And, people aren’t always out at night, unless they have a reason to be. Walking around a little during the day, out of her uniform, might make her seem like more of a familiar face. Get people to feel less anxious about approaching her, if they actually need help.

So, she puts on a pair of jeans and one of her favourite shirts, checks the weather and figures it’s sunny enough to forgo a jacket, and heads down.

Then she just… goes for a walk.

The neighbourhoods are obviously friendlier during the day. Shops are open, and windows are open, too, to try and mitigate some of the heat rising up off of the concrete. She can hear music playing, spilling out to the streets from cars and apartments. A garage not far from The Den is open, sending the whirring sounds of machine work out, along with what sounds like classical Nevarran music. Next to it is what looks like the bastard lovechild of a hardware store and a sporting goods outlet, with some kids out front sitting at a lemonade stand, selling cups of the stuff to help buy costumes for their school play.

Ostensibly, anyway.

Kel drops some change into their jar and accepts a little styrofoam cup of pink lemonade, and has to fight not to make a terrible face when the obscene sweetness of it hits her tongue. She waits until she’s a block away and out of sight to ditch the rest of it, where the kids can’t see, and then heads into a nearby convenience store to buy a bottle of water to wash the cloying taste out of her mouth.

She’s opening the cooler door when she spies a familiar face, standing in front of a rack of fashion magazines. Dressed in a different leather jacket, and with her hair tied back, but Kel only needs a glance to make the connection anyway.

“Oh!” she blurts.

Olwyn turns around, and then smiles at her with pleased surprise.

“Officer! I thought I smel… uh, saw, um, saw someone familiar,” she replies, stuttering a little. Reaching up, she pushes her sunglasses to the top of her head, and clears her throat.

Tongue tied?

Kel feels a butterfly or two start to flutter in her stomach.

“This is a pleasant surprise,” she offers. “I was just going for a walk around the neighbourhood.”

Olwyn nods.

“I heard,” she admits.

Kel raises her eyebrows, as she pulls out her water bottle.

“I mean, I live near here,” Olwyn admits. “Gossip gets around. I heard there was a new cop…” she shrugs.

“Ah,” Kel allows. “I guess I’ve been around enough, people have started to notice.”

Olwyn chuckles a little.

“Uh, yeah,” she says. “Don’t take it the wrong way. We had some bad experiences…”

“I know,” Kel assures her, fiddling with the water bottle a little. “That’s kind of why I’m wandering around, to be honest. I’m not dirty. Well, not in – um. Not in that sense.”

Olwyn raises an eyebrow.

Kel clears her throat and bravely barrels on. Olwyn probably doesn’t want to know what kind of dirty she is. Not right now, anyway, in the middle of the a convenience store, when they haven’t even gone on one date, and Kel is absolutely not going to be the kind of creepy person who propositions someone inbetween a magazine rack and a cooler after meeting them a grand total of once before.

…Gods this is perilously like the time she threw her phone at Solas.

When did she become this bad at flirting?

“I’m not particularly by the book, either,” she hastily asserts, trying to move on. “I mean, I am when it matters, when it comes to filing reports that need to be filed and dotting my I’s and crossing my T’s, I kind of have to be, I can’t really afford to give the precinct an excuse to get rid of me. Uh, not that that’s – anyways, the point is I’m usually only by-the-book when I feel compelled to throw it at someone, and the kinds of people I throw the book at are just… assholes, mostly. Criminal-criminals.”

She clears her throat again.

Olwyn smiles at her.

“Good to know,” she says.

They stand in the aisle for a minute, staring at one another, until Kel’s throat starts itching, and she remembers what she came in for in the first place.

She holds up the water bottle demonstratively.

“I should probably pay for this, and not just stand around holding it,” she says.

Olwyn nods in understanding, and then shifts from one foot to the other. She bites her bottom lip, and follows Kel up to the register.

“It’s around noon,” she blurts, after a minute. “Did you have any plans for lunch? Because I know a place. If you want people to get used to seeing you around, helping local businesses probably wouldn’t hurt. And they make really good steak sandwiches.”

“Uh…” Kel intelligently replies.

“No pressure!” Olwyn declares, raising a hand and waving a little. Right when her stomach lets out a very distinctive gurgle.

Kel blinks.

Olwyn’s cheeks darken.

“…I was maybe headed in that direction anyway, too,” she admits. “Had to skip breakfast.”

“I could eat,” Kel’s mouth decides, before her brain has completely caught up. She swallows, and wonders if it’s really a good idea – but she genuinely likes Olwyn, more and more by the minute, it seems. And it’s just lunch. It’s not like…

It’s just lunch.

“You parked anywhere?” Olwyn asks.

“Nah. I took the bus,” Kel admits. “Didn’t want to bring the squad car today.”

Olwyn smiles a little, as she finally pays the store clerk, and takes a swig from her water bottle.

“Ever ridden on the back of a motorcycle before?” she wonders.

“Once,” Kel admits. “My college roommate had one, for all of a week. She was already trying to sell it by the time we met, though, so I don’t have much experience.”

“Well, we’re not going far. We can walk if you’d prefer not to try it,” Olwyn offers.

“I never said I wouldn’t do it again,” Kel counters.

The motorcycle is parked not far from the store. Olwyn only has one helmet, though, and despite offering to let Kel wear it and assuring her that ‘it’s fine’ otherwise, Kel declines. The last thing she needs is to get into an accident, and cause the death of someone just because they were more blithe about helmet safety than they should have been. Olwyn doesn’t take offense, at least, and the walk to the restaurant ends up being pretty pleasant. They make odd small talk before Olwyn directs her towards an old, grey brick building, with a vividly painted sign out front proclaiming it to be ‘Ess’ Place’.

When Olwyn opens the door, the scents that come wafting out of it make Kel’s own stomach start to rumble.

“Detective!” someone by the door greets, in a bubbly, cheerful voice.

Kel blinks, and is just about ready to correct a stranger on her rank, when she realizes the comment was directed at Olwyn. A small elf with bubblegum pink hair skips up and hugs Olwyn, as she laughs a little.

“Lath,” Olwyn greets. “Isn’t it your day off?”

“Eh, I’m covering shifts for Squish. She got an interview for some security work,” Lath declares. “Come in, come in! You want your usual lunch order? Who’s the pretty lady? Did you get a new girlfriend? Is she from Uptown or our neck of the woods? Oh! I almost forgot to tell you, we have new specials! A new supplier opened up in City Central, and we finally got good salmon! Do you like salmon? Does your friend like salmon? Ess made me salmon mousse last night, it was delicious, but it’s not on the menu yet. We have other new things, though! Like duck! And vegetarian options, but our vegan selection is still tiny. Is your friend vegan? Does she have any food allergies?”

Kel blinks as she finds herself hustled over to a table by one of the restaurant windows, all while the tiny pink elf keeps up a running commentary, bouncing a bit with each step.

“I’m… uh, no, I’m good,” she manages, responding to the last couple of questions.

“Okay!” Lath chirps. “I’ll go get you some menus! Stay right put!”

Kel lets out a breath, settles into her seat. The chairs are comfortable, at least. And the inside of the restaurant is beautifully vibrant, covered in all kinds of artwork and photographs on the walls. A few of the photos even seem to be of Olwyn herself, although it’s hard to tell at a distance.

“I take you’re a regular?” she jokes, as Olwyn pulls off her jacket. Her arms are bare underneath; the tops covered in a fine dusting of freckles, and they look pretty strong.

“I’ve come here a couple times before,” Olwyn wryly concedes, boots thumping a bit as she slides into her own chair. “Sorry. Lath is… uh. Energetic.”

“Doesn’t bother me,” Kel assures her. “Though… did she call you detective…?”

Olwyn blinks, brought up short for a minute, before she coughs.

“Sorry. I didn’t even think about it. It’s a nickname,” she says. “Lots of people around her call me that. It’s sort of an in-joke. I technically have a Private Investigator’s license, but I don’t put up advertisements or really take clients or anything. Still, sometimes people come to me with their problems, so… it’s kind of a joke that stuck.”

A private investigator? Kel thinks back to when they first met at the police station, and can’t help a trickle of suspicion. Nothing really heavy, of course, but… maybe she should find Officer Peril, and ask a few questions of her own.

She puts it away for now, in any case.

“So what do you do for a living?” she wonders. “If you don’t mind me asking. My job’s kind of already on the table.”

Olwyn smiles.

“To be honest, I do a lot of things,” she admits. “Odd jobs. Dog-walking, pet grooming, housesitting. I have some veterinary training, and some certifications homeopathy and dream therapy. I used to have a bar, or, well, some friends and I did, but it… went under. And I-”

Whatever career path is next on the list gets interrupted, though, as Lath brings them their menus; and then they’re interrupted once again, as a perfectly stunning elf approaches their table, in Lath’s wake.

Kel blinks.

The man – at a guess – has long, dark hair, and is wearing a fashionable silk shirt with a slightly mesmerizing print on it. At his side is a very large, white purse, and in the purse is a very small, grumpy looking little dog, with a single, silver bow on the top of its head.

“Detective?” the man asks.

“Beauty!” Olwyn exclaims, and for a moment, Kel wonders if she isn’t just being particularly descriptive. But, no, that seems to be the man’s name, as he inclines his head. Olwyn gets up, and exchanges a hug with him.

The little dog makes some small, grumpy near-growl noises, and sniffs in Kel’s direction.

“You’re back!” Olwyn notes, when she pulls out of the hug again. “You didn’t call me, I would have come to get you at the airport!”

“I appreciate that. But my bags might have been a bit much for your motorcycle, and Marassal was already there,” Beauty replies. Then he looks towards Kel, at last.

“Who is your friend?” he asks.

“Oh!” Olwyn says, sliding back into her seat. “This is Kel. Kel, this is Beauty. He lives in my building, we’ve been friends for a very long time. Actually, he was a co-owner of that bar I mentioned. He has a new one now, though, all his own.”

A friend, hm? She finds herself hoping that he’s not competition. Her looks are nothing to sneeze at, but every detail of this man is stunning in a way that’s difficult to concretely describe.

“Pleased to meet you,” Beauty greets.

“Likewise. You might see me around,” Kel tells him. “I’m the new beat cop.”

Up go Beauty’s eyebrows.

“Really?” he asks, looking at Olwyn. “Another police officer?”

Olwyn laughs, a little self-consciously. The little dog sneezes, which draws Beauty’s attention down towards his companion.

“Oh, dear,” he says. “I should get Gra’mi home. She hates flying, and I think she is still having some stress over it. My poor little guard dog, yes, my best little guard dog.” Reaching into his bag, Beauty pulls his tiny beast out, and nestles her up against his chest instead. Kel’s not an expert on dogs, admittedly, but Gra’mi seems quite satisfied with this state of affairs, as Beauty fusses over her all the way out.

Once they’re alone again, Kel looks at Olwyn.

“What did he mean, ‘another police officer’?” she wonders.

Olwyn clears her throat, and takes a sip from her water glass.

“My, uh, ex-boyfriend,” she says. “We dated about a year ago. He was on the force. But hey, look, the menus are here!”

Kel knows a diversion when she hears one, and given her own circumstances, she’s sympathetic to the concept of not wanting to talk about exes.

But…

“What was his name?” she can’t help but wonder, as Olwyn picks up the menu, and holds it up. And then, after a second, lets out a long sigh.

“Cullen,” she answers. “Cullen Rutherford.”

Oh.

Kel… Kel knows that name. Officer Stannard’s former partner. The one who was discovered to have templar ties, to have been implicated in a shooting that left three people dead, just outside the city limits. The case had always felt weird to Kel. Not that she didn’t think Rutherford was good for it – he and Stannard had a reputation that was pretty dark even by their precinct’s standards, and his templar ties looked genuinely airtight. He’d always been affable whenever she passed him by the water cooler, and she’d met his sister once. Nice woman. But that stuff didn’t always mean anything, when it came down to corruption.

No, what bothered her was that Stannard had walked away, somehow squeaky clean and free despite having been present at the scene, too. The official word was that she’d been knocked on her ass before the shooting began. Had tried to talk Cullen down, from a distance, but hadn’t been able to de-escalate the situation before it all went south.

Kel had met Meredith. She didn’t buy it.

But she couldn’t prove anything based on suspicion alone, and the case was never hers to touch.

“I’m sorry,” she offers, after a minute.

Olwyn’s head tips a little further down behind her menu.

“I didn’t break up with him,” she says, quietly. “I wouldn’t have. I know it didn’t… go down like how they said it did. He was good for some stuff, yeah, but, he was getting clean. He was getting his life together. We were. I promised I would wait for him, but he told me not to bother. Said he was tired of me and my – of dealing with my ‘extra baggage’.”

Olwyn’s voice turns rueful and pained. She swallows, and Kel’s heart squeezes.

Rutherford’s a fucking tool.

“Well, fuck him,” she mutters.

Olwyn lets out a gusty sigh, and then shakes her head. “No. He had every right to feel that way about it. Anyway! We didn’t come here to talk about that. Menu! I’d recommend anything that catches your eye, to be honest, the food here’s always good.”

The prices, surprisingly, look pretty good, too. Kel takes the hint and forces her inner investigator to let the matter go, for now, as she peruses the options instead. On Lath’s suggestion, she decides to try the salmon burgers, while Olwyn orders one of the aforementioned steak sandwiches. The food actually is good – and plentiful – when it finally arrives. Lath delivers their plates with a flourish, and then settles a tiny vase with a collection of pink and red flowers onto the middle of their table, too.

The plucky server offers Olwyn a wink, before skipping off again.

“You ever get the feeling like you’re being set up?” Kel jokes, looking at the flowers. They look an awful lot like the flowers growing in rows out in front of the restaurant. And some of them still have roots attached.

Olwyn sighs.

“The perils of knowing most people in town,” she jokes. “This is… just lunch, though. Friendly lunch. No pressure.”

“No pressure at all,” Kel agrees.

There is a moment of awkwardness. She thinks that’s probably inevitable, though, because it’s not like she hasn’t noticed Olwyn noticing her. And she doubts that Olwyn hasn’t noticed Kel’s own noticing, too. They regard each other across the table for a moment, before Kel reaches over, and pluck one of the flowers up out of the vase. She breaks off half the stem, and then tucks it behind her ear.

“There,” she says. “Cheerful decorations all around.”

Olwyn smiles, a very pleasant sort of smile, and Kel thinks to herself that it’s pleasant enough to enjoy for its own sake. Then she lifts up her steak sandwich, and further awkward conversation is halted by the sounds of companionable dining.

Just lunch.

When they’re finished, though, Kel thinks that maybe she should come back again another day. In a week. Or less than a week.

Maybe tomorrow.

Maybe they can have lunch again, then, too.

Too fast? she wonders, when they finish splitting the bill. Well, it’s not like you’re inviting her back to your place.

She kind of wants to, though.

Inwardly, she sighs at herself.

Kelvallastheneras, you are a mess.

#modern werewolves au #modern fen'sulahn #fen'sulahn au #kel x olwyn

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pavilionaguest-blog · 5 years

Text

Weasel Water Lou of the Peace in Carlos

After English next Tuesday, Esse had to sit next to Price on the hour-long bus ride to The Museum of Time and Space. She could hear Mies and We talking happily together. They were the only people on the bus enjoying themselves. Even the bus driver was grumpy. He was constantly telling them to “Be quiet, or you’ll never see those heads of yer’s again!”

When they reached the museum, a tall elderly man led them through the many exhibits, telling them all about Dental Floss. “Dental floss has been going on since prehistory, but in 1815, Dr. Levi Spear Parmly thought of using waxed silk threads to floss teeth!” the museum guide exclaimed with enthusiasm. Too much enthusiasm in Esse’s opinion.

He talked and talked and talked until they got to a pair of double doors with CLOSED FOR RENOVATION written on them. The guide was now bursting with excitement. So were Mies and We. “And here it is students!” the guide said. He threw open the doors. “The history of Dental Floss!” Mies and We oohed and aahed. After about two minutes of walking around, Price announced that he had to use the restroom. And just like that, he was gone.

Mies and We were in a corner, huddled around a photograph of some guy named Dr. Charles Bass. Esse walked into another room. This room contained dental facts, not all of them about flossing. There was a door at the end of the room that also said CLOSED FOR RENOVATION. Esse figured if she was already in an exhibit that was closed for renovation, she might as well go in this one.

The room was lit by a flickering light, coming from a lit chandelier hanging from the ceiling. All was quiet. No one was around. Not even Mies, We, or the guide could be heard from the other room. It seemed that the door Esse had come through was the only way to enter the room. Esse walked farther into the room. Every noise echoed.

There were no exhibits in this room. The floor was carpeted, unlike every other room in the museum, which was covered in hard tile. The walls were lined with wallpaper, instead of painted white. A plastic mat covered some of the floor beneath a tapestry with gold tassels hanging down the sides. Pick axes lay on the plastic mat, as well as hammers and a small bulldozer that fit in the room. The wall around the tapestry was chipped and cracked, as if someone had been trying to excavate around the tapestry. The museum obviously wanted the tapestry gone. Why?

Esse got a closer look. It was very old tapestry, with ancient writing at the top. There was a large multi-colored swirl to the left. To the right was what looked like dogs with waterfalls and lakes on their backs. It was fascinating. In the bottom righthand corner was the artist’s name:

Weasel Water Lou of The Peace in Carlos

It was truly very mysterious. Esse knocked on the wall. Hollow sounds echoed through the room. Was the tapestry a door? Who was Weasel Water Lou? Why was this tapestry in The Museum of Time and Space? Of course, Esse couldn’t spend forever in the little room. But when she walked out of the room, Esse saw something unfortunate.

Difgih was standing across the way from Esse. She was obviously partnerless. Her back was to Esse and she was reading something about dental floss for braces. Esse slowly tiptoed across the room into the one with FLOSS OF THE PRESENT. Hiding behind the biggest dental floss container in the world, Esse got a look at the clock. 4:37. That meant that the bus would come in thirteen minutes to pick them up and drop them off at home.

The bus ride from the museum was possibly less fun than the bus ride to the museum. When Price and Takahiro showed up at the bus late, they got in trouble for abandoning Esse and Difgih. So Price and Takahiro had to sit next to Mr. Oliverst and Esse and Difgih were “lucky” and got to sit in the back of the bus. Together. Esse looked out the window the whole time, and Difgih looked at the ground.

It wasn’t that Esse disliked Difgih, she was just afraid of her. Difgih had this weird telling-the-future thing she was always doing. And maybe Esse just didn’t want to know that she would meet a bear and go on a book worthy adventure. Maybe she just wanted to stay away from Difgih.

Esse got home at 6:43 p.m. Mrs. Iflandoonia was washing the dishes. “How was it?” she asked as Esse came in.

“It was good.” Esse answered. “Price abandoned me to go hang out with his friend. I sort of went around by myself. He had to sit with Mr. Oliverst on the ride back.”

“Aha!” Mr. Iflandoonia exclaimed. “I thought so! Price is no better than his father!”

“Luc!” Mrs. Iflandoonia said with her hands on her hips. “Really?!” Mr. Iflandoonia guiltily slinked away, probably harboring more thoughts on Price’s father. Mrs. Iflandoonia rolled her eyes. “I’ll talk with him later.” she said. “Well, Esse, how was it anyway?”

“I saw this exhibit on Dental Facts, and one of them had the biggest dental floss container in the world.” Esse answered. “But I have English homework, so, bye.”

Esse went up to her room to ponder the questions she had thought of earlier. But who could think with all that racket that Illtyd and Sverre Jon were making? She could hear them fighting over who would be Sidfig. “I’m the one who bought the book first!” Sverre Jon was yelling.

“I know that Esse has The Magical Powers of the Bonnet!” Illtyd yelled back. “That makes me a Verarlium Partosium, and you have nothing to do with it!”

Esse got out of bed and walked out the door. “Where are you going?” Mrs. Iflandoonia asked. She was trimming bushes. Why was she always everywhere she shouldn’t be? “I’m going for a walk.” Esse answered. And so she walked into the forest.

After about 1 ½ miles, Esse rested off the trail. It was so peaceful. Esse usually didn’t like quiet and peaceful. She normally liked things happening. But the forest was her favorite quiet spot. It was meant to only be the sounds of the birds and the deer and rabbits and foxes and… that strange noise from behind her. Esse turned around. There sat a little bear. Well, not little, this was a bear after all. If the bear stood on its hind legs, it would probably be as tall as Esse.

“Oh, hello.” she said. Then thought, Maybe I do hate Difgih. “Hi.” the bear answered back. The bear crawled over to rest next to Esse. “My name is Luc. Short for Lucjusz.” it said.

“My dad’s name is Lucjusz!” Esse said.

“Cool.” said Luc. “Do you want to be friends?”

“I guess.” Esse said. “Just because my dad and you share the same name? But, okay. I think bears are probably better friends than people.”

Luc nodded. “Oh yes, oh yes. We don’t hunt nixies for sport.” Esse smiled. “You’re much better than the kids in my class.” she said. Luc nodded.

“I always thought bears were better than nixies.” he said. Esse tilted her head. “Bears have never actually talked to me.” she commented. “But I think it’s because my brothers are too loud.”

“Oh, it’s not you.” Luc explained. “It’s, an, um, bear thing. We, uh, call it , um, Don’t Speak With Murderers. No offence.”

“Oh, it’s okay.” Esse said. “And you’re an adventurous bear?”

“Oh yes. I am the second bear to talk to a nixie and survive. Nobody knows yet though. The first nixie is you.” Luc answered. “I thought that that’s how I would die, but. . .I guess I die differently.”

“I guess we’re friends then.” Esse said, only a bit weirded out by the last part of Luc’s sentence. Luc nodded. It was decided.

The next day, Esse decided she was going to go see Luc again. If she found him again, she knew she would have made a friend. During school that day, Esse caught Difgih staring at her as if she knew. It was creepy.

Luc told Esse some interesting news. “Esse, you’ll never believe what I heard!” he said. “The Carlosians are closing in on the West Side of Peace, and they just took it over!” “Who are the Carlosians?” Esse asked. “You don’t know?” Luc asked, shocked. “The Carlosians are the people in the country that surrounds us. They are evil, and violent, and deadly, and they’re slowly taking over The Peace in Carlos! Only not so slowly anymore!”

“Wow!” Esse exclaimed. “I can’t believe I didn’t know that!”

“Neither can I.” Luc said. “I wonder who else doesn’t know. The problem is, not everyone has a hiding place, a secret den like my family does, and so they can’t always be safe when they need to be.” He shook his head in disapproval. “They’ll probably all die or something.”

“No!” Esse cried, “We can’t let that happen! What will we do?!”

“You and I can try to find a place for everyone.”

“Oh, yes. That’s a good idea,” Esse agreed, “Do you know any places?” Luc shook his head. Esse started to sigh, then paused, remembering the tapestry. “I might know a place!” she exclaimed with glee, “Yesterday I went to the new Dental Floss exhibit in The Museum of Time and Space, and I found a really mysterious tapestry by someone called Weasel Water Lou. There were pickaxes and bulldozers, and things like that near it. I bumped into the wall, and it was hollow! Also, the room looks like a room in a old house, not a museum room. There’s real carpeting and wallpaper! Maybe they’re making a hiding place for us! I wish I could show you.”

“That sounds nothing like my den, but okay, I’ll take your word for it.” Luc said. “I wish I could get to it.” After a moment, he exclaimed, “Hey! Are there windows near it? Maybe I could get in!” He sounded excited.

“Well…” Esse mused. “There’s a wall of all glass in the Dr. Levi Spear Parmly exhibit. Does that help?”

“Are there any windows that you can open?” Luc asked. “Oh, well, in the recreation of Johnson & Johnson, there’s a window. It might fit you, but I should probably measure it.” Esse answered.

“That would take too long.” Luc said. “Roughly how big was it?” Esse showed him with her hands. Luc just fit. “Good!” Luc said. “Is the Johnson & Johnson recreation on the first or second floor?”

“First floor, but the window is high. I’ll help you.” Esse volunteered.

“Good.” Luc nodded his approval. “See you tomorrow, Esse.”

“You too, Luc.” Esse waved goodbye.

0 notes

forkanna · 7 years

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[AO3 LINK] [EF LINK]

NOTE: Yes this one is super short, too. Sorry! Next one will be better.

Let's skip to a couple days later. Not much else happened other than smarmy grossness. Of course, that still wouldn't be the usual level of pure, grade-A Canadian maple sap given that I was part of the relationship, but it was cute. Lots of takeout and movies, gaming, snuggling. Things that I had to get used to since none of my previous significant others had ever stuck around long enough.

Well… other than Scott.

Maybe that's why he was on my mind so much during that time. Literally the only other long-term relationship I'd had was him, and we were in high school, trying to figure ourselves out as much as we were trying to figure out each other and how to combine those two factors. Opening up those memories was like watching him drive away all over again, but I kept doing it. Had to figure out if there was some weird nugget of truth in there somewhere that could help me figure out how not to fuck everything up with Knives.

Scott and I didn't "date" much. It was definitely a benefriends situation; we were buds who started boinking in the back of my parents' car. So all of our activities were about the same as they had been before; practicing music, hanging out with Lisa Miller. We didn't do much that was coupley other than holding hands and sex. From what I heard, Scott got all those romantic experiences from Natalie after he dropped me like a bad habit.

So why did I keep thinking about him if there wasn't much wisdom to be had? Because I didn't have any other experiences to compare it with.

I'm pretty pathetic. But at least I had someone to call and ask for advice. He might not be the most monogamous person I know, but he is a flaming queer, and has had more success in the dating arena than pretty much anyone else in my extended circle. Maybe using my phone-a-friend lifeline counted as cheating, but when working with such a severe handicap, I figure it all shakes out.

~ o ~

"Well, well, well," Wallace Wells half-purred in that voice of his. You know the one. "The redhead."

"That is the colour of my hair, yes," I grumbled.

"Didn't expect to ever hear from you again once Ess Bee Bee and that other thing broke up. See you around in that bump-into-people-you-knew-through-people-in-Honest-Ed's way, sure…"

Gripping my drumstick tighter as I sat on my drumset's seat — the seat of power, a place from which I drew comfort and ability to cope with life — I said, "Same. But I got your number from Stacey, because… I need help."

"'Fraid I'm fresh outta that stuff."

"Help? You're 'out' of help. Really?"

"Yep. The generic kind. But if you elaborate, I might have a specific flavour blend in stock…"

He was definitely going to make me work for this. So I decided to stop being shy and cut through the double-talk and uncertainty. "I'm dating Knives."

The line was quiet for a moment. "That sounds painful. My advice is to buy plenty of bandages for when things get frisky."

"No, Knives Chau. Scott's ex."

"Oh!" he said in a pleasant tone of voice. Even now, I'm not totally sure whether he was trolling me or if he really didn't think I meant her the first time. "She was cute in a Pokémon trainer kind of way. Didn't think you played in the kiddie pool."

"She's in college now, you asshat. But I could use some advice."

"Advice for dating women? Fresh out of that, too."

Gritting my teeth, I said, "Wallace…"

"Alright, alright. So you're edging onto the Rainbow Road and you're afraid of flying off the side. I gotcha. Assuming that's the reason you called me instead of someone else you know…?"

"There's nobody else. Stephen's pretty much the only other person I could call, but he gives terrible advice. Hollie is in Nowhereville with Jason, who knows? And Steph… I just don't know her very well. Or maybe too well. I'm really not sure which."

"That makes me the bartender."

"What?"

"You know, the nameless bartender you tell all your deepest, darkest secrets to in hopes he can give you guidance because you're too blasted to figure out he couldn't care less about your life."

"Fine, nevermind. God, sorry to have bothered you."

But he was chuckling. "Alright, alright. I'm half-kidding; I barely know you and don't care that much, but you're family now. That has to be taken into consideration."

"I'm… family?"

"Gay family. A budding bisexual, right?"

"Y-yeah." I cleared my throat to get rid of that uncertain quaver. "I guess."

"We all start out 'guessing'. It's okay." He let out a long sigh, and there was the sound of something being moved around; he was probably working on something in his apartment, or at his job. Whatever that was. "How long have you two been having playdates?"

"A couple weeks, or whatever," I growled, ignoring the insult.

"How far have you gone?" When I let out a strangled noise, he reassured me, "For informational purposes only. Trust me, I'm not going to get off on two girls doing anything. If there's not at least one dick involved, it's off my curiosity list."

I started to correct him that one was involved, but again I felt that instinct to protect her identity kick in. Maybe I should ask her if she minded me telling people at some point. "Dry-humping. She's kind of… never done it, and I haven't done it with a girl. I swear, if you tell anyb-"

"Lips are sealed. Do you want it to go further?"

"YES! But I mean, only if she's ready."

"Good, that's good. I've had a hesitant date or two. No still means no, and that's more important than all the prep work in the world, but I have a couple ideas that could help get her in the mood."

That one hit me hard. Luckily, I just barely listened to her "no"s when we were drunk as skunks. Nodding as I chewed on my drumstick, I then put it down and said, "That'll help, but I'm actually more worried about… other stuff. Like, how to be in a relationship with a cute, bubbly, fun girl when I'm a vortex of despair."

"Opposites attract. Chances are, she already likes you because you're a vortex of despair. Not usually something people put on their eHarmony profile, though." But apparently, I had him curious. "What other stuff?"

"Dating. I suck at it. Like…" I tried to lower my defenses. "She's so sweet to me, and I feel like I'm just there. Sucking all the fun out of the room. I want her to feel what I feel. Or I guess, to show her that. Something."

"Awww, baby lesbians are so cute. Like puppies."

"Ugh…"

Then he sighed again, a long, floaty sigh of someone toying with someone else. Which would be me. "Alright, never fear — Wallaciraptor is here. Let's help you get rolling…"

~ o ~

When Knives walked in the door, I could tell she was caught off-guard by the way her purse fell to the floor instead of being set down. "Kim? I… what's going on?"

"Nothing," I lied as I bent over to take the casserole out of the oven, showing off my bare ass. Just below the apron strings. Yes, I really did the cliché. Yes, it was super uncomfortable for me, since I'm not exactly a flesh-flashing kinda girl. But I thought, hey, it was worth a shot. "Making dinner."

Which was also part of the plan. There were multiple parts; I didn't know which one to try, so I tried everything. One big gesture to try and prove to both Knives and myself that I could be a girlfriend, and not just some drummer chick who acts like she's on the rag all the time.

"Yeah, but you're naked! I mean… almost!"

"You like it? I thought the green apron brought out my eyes." It still came out sounding sarcastic, even though I didn't mean for it to. My voice just sounds that way unless I'm actively suppressing the biting tone, and even then sometimes it bleeds through.

"Um…" Deciding not to comment on my butt, she turned toward the stove. "Smells great! We're having casserole?"

"Yes. And garlic bread. That's not done yet, though. And, um…" I glanced at my coffee table, where there was a cabernet open and "breathing" — Wallace's suggestion. I would have just put a couple of beers down to go with dinner, or at least uncorked the wine right before drinking it.

Knives walked over and touched one of the wine glasses with a finger. I got them from a dollar store specifically for this occasion, since I didn't own any before. Then she picked up the remote for the stereo system, which was pretty conspicuous because it was the only other thing on the table. "What's this do?"

"Hit 'play'," I said as I got out plates.

She did. And quiet, soft, romantic piano music started floating out of the speakers. Also from the dollar store, but I listened to the whole CD before using it to make sure it wasn't too terrible. She laughed… but it was a very specific, actual happy laugh. Not so much at my expense as just surprised at the situation, I guess.

"What is all this?" she asked as she went back over to kick off her work shoes and leave them by the purse. "Like… I thought we were just going to have cup ramen and watch TV."

"Wanted to try something else. Um… y-you'll have to tell me if it's any good. Never tried this recipe before." Hell, I don't think I'd ever cooked anything more complex than a frozen pizza in forever.

Once she was in the kitchen, she put her hand in the small of my back. "I'm sure I'll love it." Then she shivered and smiled shyly, withdrawing from the touch. "Not used to touching your skin like that."

"I can change if it's more comfortable for you. This was kind of just… y'know. The 'naked housewife fantasy' bit as a joke. Or maybe not a joke, if you liked it."

"Trying to get me in the mood?" she guessed with a slightly wry smile. When I flushed a little darker, she stopped smiling. "Wait… oh, is this really what that is?"

"Not exactly. But… kind of. I just… wanted to be a good girlfriend, or something like that. I dunno."

The silence was kind of tense. She didn't look angry, just a little confused and contemplating the whole situation. Then she glanced at the oven and back at me.

"How much longer? For the garlic bread."

"About another five. I'll be quick." Clearly, she wanted me in real clothes, which I already had laid out on my dresser. Ready for plan B.

And I was more okay with that than I first expected. Sure, it hurt a little that she didn't know how to feel about me being naked while we ate, but at the same time, neither did I. Just seemed like a weird idea. But Wallace swore it worked like a charm on this one guy he was dating, so I figured I'd give it a shot. No real harm.

Once I was wearing a nice white blouse and a long grey skirt, we got our plates loaded down with casserole and bread and moved things to the table, where we sat cross-legged and ate and drank. She told me about her day, and I told her about mine until the point at which I started getting dinner ready, which I didn't think was interesting — until she started demanding more details with her cute, patient way of doing everything. Incredibly, stories about me buying ingredients and wine glasses was actual entertainment for her.

And somehow, she managed to out-girlfriend me again. Shut up, I know it's not a competition… I know. But even after I drove like a thousand miles outside my comfort zone, hoping to really show her how much I cared and how much she meant to me, Knives was already there and had a jetpack to fly even further. She started doing the dishes as soon as we took our plates to the kitchen, said it was her turn to cook next time when I wasn't expecting it, asked if I had a long day, offered to rub my back when I moved my neck and made the world's tiniest wince… and she gave me the rub, and it felt so good. Told me I looked really cute in the outfit before I could ask. Sweetness and sunshine.

What kind of jerk was she to be so perfect?

To Be Continued…

#kim pine's precious little knives #forkanna writes #scott pilgrim fanfiction #wallace wells #scott pilgrim vs. the world #kim pine #kim x knives #forkanna the writer

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ericbarkman · 7 years

Text

Tales of WID 72 #5 Just Gals Being Pals

Lieutenants Jane Anderson and Leandra Delgado sat down in a booth at the back of the bar with their drinks and some food that Jane had ordered. “What even is that?” Leandra asked. “It looks disgusting.” “It’s called garmuth,” Jane said. “We had a Larusian cook on base when I was a teenager, so I picked up a taste for their cuisine.” “I think it’s moving.” “Well yeah, it’s supposed to be,” Jane said as she picked up a piece and tossed it in her mouth. “So, what’s up?” “What do you mean?” “You wanted to meet for drinks, I assumed there was something you wanted to talk about.” “I just meant as friends. Or was that presumptuous?” “I mean, I hadn’t really thought of us as friends. Like, we never really interact outside of work related stuff.” “Yeah, but to be fair we serve on a starship,” Leandra said. “So we’re pretty much always at work, except when we’re able to go down to a planet for some time off.” “True, not that Maltork Four is exactly where I’d consider going for recreation,” Jane said. “And not just because the last time we were here was…well you know.” “Yeah, that was certainly an odd situation.” “No kidding. Even aside from the classified part of that which we shouldn’t mention in public, there was that con artist, and we even had a CIA operative that had snuck aboard.” “What happened with that operative anyway?” Leandra asked. “Like, I had heard you had him tossed in the brig, but I never heard what happened to him next.” “After we got back to Earth and helped with damage control, we just handed him back to the CIA. It wasn’t exactly a time that different agencies could afford to be fighting with each other.” “True that, true that. Too bad that cooperation couldn’t have lasted.” “It never does,” Jane said. “So then, you know what I said to him?” Jane asked. It was later in the evening, both of them had had a few drinks by this time, and Jane was talking about her teenage years. “I’m going to guess it had something to do with where he could stick that trombone,” Leandra said. “Pretty much, but he just kept playing it, so I just grabbed it and threw it out the window. You know how far you can throw things on the moon?” “I’m guessing pretty far.” “Yeah, I had detention for a month after that, and I was grounded even longer. Not that being grounded really meant a whole lot. There’s not a lot of things to do on the Lunar Colony anyway. At least not when I was living there.” “Even still, it must have been pretty cool living on the moon.” “I mean, yeah, there were definitely cool aspects, like the aforementioned gravity. Very limited choices when it came to friends though. And I’ve only been on three dates in my life.” “What? No.” “I mean, after I finished high school, I joined the ESS pretty much right away, and I’ve been pretty focused on my career since. This is the first time I’ve actually had a night out in the past five months.” “We are going to change that.” “How about that guy?” Leandra asked, as she pointed at a Urkotuon at the bar. “That’s not a guy,” Jane said. “Urkotuons don’t have gender, and they don’t do romance or sex.” “Really? That sounds boring.” “It works for them. You really aren’t that familiar with a lot of alien species, are you?” “I generally just find out about them when I read a mission briefing. I mean, I grew up on Earth and didn’t even know that aliens were real until I was asked to join the Unity.” “Ah yeah, I guess I sometimes forget that aliens were kept secret on Earth until the Caldore invasion. But as head of security I also need to make sure I know a wide range of customs, so I don’t inadvertently insult anyone while keeping people safe.” “Yeah, I mostly just pilot my fighter and shoot people down when I need to.” “You did manage to navigate the Yungoonch situation pretty well last month.” “I got lucky on that,” Leandra said. “But we’re not supposed to be talking about me being lucky, we’re supposed to be helping you get lucky.” “I don’t know that this is the rest place,” Jane said. “I mean, I’m not necessarily opposed to dating a non-Human, but if we’re just talking about sex, a lot of the time the parts don’t exactly line up.” “You’d be surprised what you can manage,” Leandra said. “I met a Forsoothian a couple months back, and we had quite the night together.” “Man, you are the pickiest person I’ve ever met, turning down every suggestion I make,” Leandra said after another hour or so had passed. “If you’re only wanting to date Humans, you’re pretty much gonna have to wait until we get back to Earth. Or date someone on the crew.” “I’m the chief of security,” Jane said. “I can’t go dating someone on the crew.” “Maybe one of my pilots. I mean, my squadron is attached to the ship, but we’re not technically ship crew. There’s a few of them over there.” Leandra pointed to another table in the bar, where City Boy, Cheddar Cheese, and Pandaherbs were sitting. “You can’t set me up with someone under your command,” Jane said. “That’s a major conflict of interest.” “I’m not setting you up, just letting you know the option is there.” “I mean, I suppose that wouldn’t strictly be against regulations for me to date someone on your squadron. But, like I said, dating’s not a big deal to me. You’re the one who’s apparently made it her mission to set me up with someone.” “If I’m pressing too much, I can back off,” Leandra said. “No, it’s fine,” Jane said. “Kind of amusing actually, I mean, we’re just joking around right. There’s nothing wrong with that. What about you? Anyone special in your life?” “Plenty of special people,” Leandra said. “I’m not really one to limit myself to monogamy. I’ve had a few boyfriends and girlfriends over the years, but never anything really serious.” “Girlfriends?” “Yeah, that’s not a problem is it?” “No, of course not. My best friend is a lesbian.” “And you?” “I don’t know,” Jane said. “I mean, all the dates I’ve been on were with guys, but like I mentioned, that’s only been three dates.” “Hmm.” “Wait, was this supposed to be a date?” “No, if it was intended to be a date, I’d be very clear with that upfront,” Leandra said. “Could it become a date?” “I mean, maybe, but we’re both pretty drunk at this point. It might not be the best idea.” “Yeah, maybe not.” The next morning, Jane went down to the cafeteria on the ship for some coffee and breakfast. There were a few other people in the cafeteria, including Leandra, who Jane went and sat down across from. “Morning,” Jane said. “Sleep well?” Leandra asked. “Not really, and I have a pretty bad hangover now. You?” “I slept okay, but yeah, definitely have a hangover too. Last night was fun though, right.” “Yeah, but about what we were talking about near the end there.” “About us dating?” Jane looked around, but no one seemed to be paying them any attention. “Yeah, that. I mean, don’t get me wrong, you’re a lot of fun, and really gorgeous...” “But…” “But I mean, even if you aren’t technically part of the crew, you do still live on the ship, and work with us.” “I hear Wesley and Chuck have started seeing each other,” Leandra said. “Neither of them are in charge of security. They are the chief of communications and piloting, which means not a lot of conflict of interest there. Still technically a breach of regulations, but as long as they keep it on the down low, they’ll probably be fine.” “I mean, I don’t want to give you the wrong idea either though. I’m not looking for anything serious, I date casually, so if that’s not something you’re interested in, it’s a moot point anyway.” “Yeah, I don’t know,” Jane said. That night Leandra returned to her quarters after running combat drills with her squadron. She was in the middle of trying to figure out how she was going to explain the amount of repairs that Team Fancy’s fighter was going to need after simple training exercises, when her door chime rang. “Come in,” she said as she put her computer pad down. The door slid open, and Jane came in. “Hi,” she said. “Hello,” Leandra said. “What can I do for you?” “I’ve been thinking about our conversation, and about what I want, and about my job and such.” “Okay?” “I mean, like I was telling you, I’ve never really had much time for dating because of my job, so maybe something more casual would be a better idea for me at this time.” “If that’s what you want, then I’m game,” Leandra said. “Just as long as you’re not planning on trying to change me. If you decide you do want an exclusive relationship with someone, that’s not going to be me.” “No, yeah, I understand that.” “Excellent, so what do you want to do now then?” “I don’t know exactly,” Jane said. “Not a lot of experience in this area.” “Why don’t you come sit down with me?” “Right.” Jane sat down next to Leandra, and looked at her. She leaned over, and Leandra leaned back, and they kissed.

#Leandra Delgado #Jane Anderson #Pandaherbs #Cheddar Cheese #City Boy #Maltork Four #Forsoothian #Urkotuon #Chuck Banman #Wesley Harris #Tales of WID 72 #Eric J. Barkman

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readbookywooks · 7 years

Text

‘Um. Look,’ said Rincewind.

‘Yes?’ said Abrim.

‘Well, if you put it like that …’

‘You wish to make a point?’

‘It’s the Archchancellor’s hat, if you must know,’ said Rincewind. ‘The symbol of wizardry.’

‘Powerful?’

Rincewind shivered. ‘Very,’ he said.

‘Why is it called the Archchancellor’s hat?’

‘The Archchancellor is the most senior wizard, you see. The leader. But, look -

Abrim picked up the hat and turned it around and around in his hands.

‘It is, you might say, the symbol of office?’

‘Absolutely, but look, if you put it on, I’d better warn you-’

Shut up.

Abrim leapt back, the hat dropping to the floor.

The wizard knows nothing. Send him away. We must negotiate.

The vizier stared down at the glittering octarines around the hat.

‘I negotiate? With an item of apparel?’

I have much to offer, on the right head.

Rincewind was appalled. It has already been indicated that he had the kind of instinct for danger usually found only in certain small rodents, and it was currently battering on the side of his skull in an attempt to run away and hide somewhere.

‘Don’t listen!’ he shouted.

Put me on, said the hat beguilingly, in an ancient voice that sounded as though the speaker had a mouthful of felt.

If there really was a school for viziers, Abrim had come top of the class.

‘We’ll talk first,’ he said. He nodded at the guards, and pointed to Rincewind.

‘Take him away and throw him in the spider tank,’ he said.

‘No, not spiders, on top of everything else!’ moaned Rincewind.

The captain of the guard stepped forward and knuckled his forehead respectfully.

‘Run out of spiders, master,’ he said.

‘Oh.’ The vizier looked momentarily blank. ‘In that case, lock him in the tiger cage.’

The guard hesitated, trying to ignore the sudden outburst of whimpering beside him. ‘The tiger’s been ill, master. Backwards and forwards all night.’

‘Then throw this snivelling coward down the shaft of eternal fire!’

A couple of the guards exchanged glances over the head of Rincewind, who had sunk to his knees.

‘Ah. We’ll need a bit of notice of that, master-’

‘- to get it going again, like.’

The vizier’s fist came down hard on the table. The captain of the guard brightened up horribly.

‘There’s the snake pit, master,’ he said. The other guards nodded. There was always the snake pit.

Four heads turned towards Rincewind, who stood up and brushed the sand off his knees.

‘How do you feel about snakes?’ said one of the guards.

‘Snakes? I don’t like snakes much-’

‘The snake pit,’ said Abrim.

‘Right. The snake pit,’ agreed the guards.

- I mean, some snakes are okay-’ Rincewind continued, as two guards grabbed him by the elbows.

In fact there was only one very cautious snake, which remained obstinately curled up in a corner of the shadowy pit watching Rincewind suspiciously, possibly because he reminded it of a mongoose.

‘Hi,’ it said eventually. ‘Are you a wizard?’

As a line of snake dialogue this was a considerable improvement on the normal string of esses, but Rincewind was sufficiently despondent not to waste time wondering and simply replied, ‘It’s on my hat, can’t you read?’

‘In seventeen languages, actually. I taught myself.’

‘Really?’

‘I sent off for courses. But I try not to read, of course. It’s not in character.’

‘I suppose it wouldn’t be.’ It was certainly the most cultured snake voice that Rincewind had ever heard.

‘It’s the same with the voice, I’m afraid,’ the snake added. ‘I shouldn’t really be talking to you now. Not like this, anyway. I suppose I could grunt a bit. I rather think I should be trying to kill you, in fact.’

‘I have curious and unusual powers,’ said Rincewind. Fair enough, he thought, an almost total inability to master any form of magic is pretty unusual for a wizard and anyway, it doesn’t matter about lying to a snake.

‘Gosh. Well, I expect you won’t be in here long, then.’

‘Hmm?’

‘I expect you’ll be levitating out of here like a shot, any minute.’

Rincewind looked up at the fifteen-foot-deep walls of the snake pit, and rubbed his bruises.

‘I might,’ he said cautiously.

‘In that case, you wouldn’t mind taking me with you, would you?’

‘Eh?’

‘It’s a lot to ask, I know, but this pit is, well, it’s the pits.’

‘Take you? But you’re a snake, it’s your pit. The idea is that you stay here and people come to you. I mean, I know about these things.’

A shadow behind the snake unfolded itself and stood up.

‘That’s a pretty unpleasant thing to say about anyone,’ it said.

The figure stepped forward, into the pool of light.

It was a young man, taller than Rincewind. That is to say, Rincewind was sitting down, but the boy would have been taller than him even if he was standing up.

To say that he was lean would be to miss a perfect opportunity to use the word ‘emaciated’. He looked as though toast racks and deckchairs had figured in his ancestry, and the reason it was so obvious was his clothes.

Rincewind looked again.

He had been right the first time.

The lank-haired figure in front of him was wearing the practically traditional garb for barbarian heroes - a few studded leather thongs, big furry boots, a little leather holdall and goosepimples. There was nothing unusual about that, youd see a score of similarly-dressed adventurers in any street of Ankh-Morpork, except that you’d never see another one wearing -

The young man followed his gaze, looked down, and shrugged.

‘I can’t help it,’ he said. ‘I promised my mother.’

‘Woolly underwear?’

Strange things were happening in Al Khali that night. There was a certain silveriness rolling in from the sea, which baffled the city’s astronomers, but that wasn’t the strangest thing. There were little flashes of raw magic discharging off sharp edges, like static electricity, but that wasn’t the strangest thing.

The strangest thing walked into a tavern on the edge of the city, where the everlasting wind blew the smell of the desert through every unglazed window, and sat down in the middle of the floor.

The occupants watched it for some time, sipping their coffee laced with desert orakh. This drink, made from cacti sap and scorpion venom, is one of the most virulent alcoholic beverages in the universe, but the desert nomads don’t drink it for its intoxicating effects. They use it because they need something to mitigate the effect of Klatchian coffee.

Not because you could use the coffee to waterproof roofs. Not because it went through the untrained stomach lining like a hot ball bearing through runny butter. What it did was worse.

It made you knurd.[17]

The sons of the desert glanced suspiciously into their thimble-sized coffee-cups, and wondered whether they had overdone the orakh. Were they all seeing the same thing? Would it be foolish to pass a remark? These are the sort of things you need to worry about if you want to retain any credibility as a steely-eyed son of the deep desert. Pointing a shaking finger and saying, ‘Hey, look, a box just walked in here on hundreds of little legs, isn’t that extraordinary!’ would show a terrible and possibly fatal lack of machismo.

The drinkers tried not to catch one another’s eye, even when the Luggage slid up to the row of orakh jars against the far wall. The Luggage had a way of standing still that was somehow even more terrible than watching it move about.

Finally one of them said, ‘I think it wants a drink.’

There was a long silence, and then one of the others said, with the precision of a chess Grand Master making a killing move, ‘What does?’

The rest of the drinkers gazed impassively into their glasses.

There was no sound for a while other than the plop-plopping of a gecko’s footsteps across the sweating ceiling.

The first drinker said, ‘The demon that’s Just moved up behind you is what I was referring to, O brother of the sands.’

The current holder of the All-Wadi Imperturbability Championship smiled glassily until he felt a tugging on his robe. The smile stayed where it was but the rest of his face didn’t seem to want to be associated with it.

The Luggage was feeling crossed in love and was doing what any sensible person would do in these circumstances, which was get drunk. It had no money and no way of asking for what it wanted, but the Luggage somehow never had much difficulty in making itself understood.

The tavern keeper spent a very long lonely night filling a saucer with orakh, before the Luggage rather unsteadily walked out through one of the walls.

The desert was silent. It wasn’t normally silent. It was normally alive with the chirruping of crickets, the buzz of mosquitoes, the hiss and whisper of hunting wings skimming across the cooling sands. But tonight it was silent with the thick, busy silence of dozens of nomads folding their tents and getting the hell out of it.

‘I promised my mother,’ said the boy. ‘I get these colds, you see.’

‘Perhaps you should try wearing, well, a bit more clothing?’

‘Oh, I couldn’t do that. You’ve got to wear all this leather stuff.’

‘I wouldn’t call it all,’ said Rincewind. ‘There’s not enough of it to call it all. Why have you got to wear it?’

‘So people know I’m a barbarian hero, of course.’

Rincewind leaned his back against the fetid walls of the snake pit and stared at the boy. He looked at two eyes like boiled grapes, a shock of ginger hair, and a face that was a battleground between its native freckles and the dreadful invading forces of acne.

Rincewind rather enjoyed times like this. They convinced him that he wasn’t mad because, if he was mad, that left no word at all to describe some of the people he met.

‘Barbarian hero,’ he murmured.

‘It’s all right, isn’t it? All this leather stuff was very expensive.’

‘Yes, but, look - what’s your name, lad?’

‘Nijel-’

‘You see, Nijel

‘Nijel the Destroyer,’ Nijel added.

‘You see, Nijel

‘- the Destroyer-’

‘All right, the Destroyer-’ said Rincewind desperately. ‘- son of Harebut the Provision Merchant-’

‘What?’

‘You’ve got to be the son of someone,’ Nijel explained. ‘It says it here somewhere-’ He half-turned and fumbled inside a grubby fur bag, eventually bringing out a thin, torn and grubby book.

‘There’s a bit in here about selecting your name,’ he muttered.

‘How come you ended up in this pit, then?’

‘I was intending to steal from Creosote’s treasury, but I had an asthma attack,’ said Nijel, still fumbling through the crackling pages.

#Sourcery

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