#edit: supposed to be number 34 but was put as 33 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dangermousie · 5 months

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2023 End of Year Post - kdrama edition

Yes, we have a some of December left, and I want to check out Death's Game but whatever. I got time for this now and not sure if I will have later so here goes.

This is only going to cover kdramas that aired in 2023; if I watched it but it was made in a different year, it’s not on the list. This was an excellent kdrama year, the likes of which we hadn't had in a long time.

DRAMAS WATCHED

In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality so pls don't come for me, fans of some popular dramas that are on my nope list. Also, I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list.

33. The Escape of the Seven - this is so aggressively stupid and mean that it feels like the makers are playing a practical joke seeing how much their audience will take. This has a season 2 coming, so the answer is a lot.

32. Behind Your Touch - the FL gets superpowers by touching people's and animals' butts. Yes, you read this right. Do I really need to add anything?

31. King the Land - yes, it was a hit. Yes, it stars popular actors. I HATED IT LIKE IT TOUCHED MY BUTT TO GET SUPERPOWERS!!! Plastic people in paint by the numbers story, with about as much genuineness or retability as a barbie aisle in walmart. I never expect much from Yoona so whatever, but to have LJH go from The Red Sleeve to this boggles the mind.

30. Mrs Durian - this is so dumb that I think I lost a few IQ points watching this, but its insanity becomes entertaining - I mean what kdrama can you name where a daughter in law declares her love and lust for her mother in law at a family dinner?

29. The Matchmakers - there is nothing offensive about this drama at all. But there is nothing in the least interesting either. If elevator music took drama shape, it would be this show.

28. Destined with You - sorry, Rowoon, I am still fond of you, but you are two for two in drama duds department this year. This is a drama where I loved ep 1, liked ep 2, was indifferent to 3 and...you get the point. Each ep was worse than the one before, and I bailed before I was dragged into a cosmic singularity.

27. Oasis - great first two episodes. Unfortunately it was not a two ep show. The performances are solid but the story is just not there - the effect is like a fancy chef making an amazing sauce to put on pig slop.

26. Boyhood - it's not you, it's me in action. I can see why people would like it but a 34-year old playing a high schooler in a Weak Hero Class 1 Slapstick Edition is no go for me.

25. Castaway Diva - it's so precious and kooky in the most annoying ways, with the most well-adjusted abused castaway in history. I like magic realism when done by Jorge Amado, but this ain't Amado.

24. Island - it had a good concept, good cast and fun visuals but the execution deserved one of ML's swords through the neck.

23. The Worst of Evil - if I wanted an American show, I'd watch one. Very solid performances though.

22. Song of the Bandits - period edition of what I said about The Worst of Evil.

21. Welcome to Samdalri - and goodbye to any hope of emotional involvement.

20. Joseon Attorney - I have yet to like a single sageuk centered around a profession and this was not an exception. I guess it could be worse but it also could have been so much better.

19. Twinkling Watermelon - everyone loved this drama. Everyone except for me. It's the kind of precious that sets my teeth on edge and I couldn't stand half the main characters we were supposed to root for. I guess I like my fruits to shine steadily.

18. Our Blooming Youth - probably the biggest disappointment on this list. This is not a bad drama by any means, but with that cast and that story (I loved the novel), I was hoping for a memorable sageuk not merely all right.

17. Vigilante - it has the emotional complexity and nuance of a punch to the throat but it gives us quasi-gay openly-murderous dudes going after psychos and Yoo Ji Tae holding feral Nam Joo Hyuk by his hoodie at his feet.

16. The Forbidden Marriage - expected nothing but it was a surprisingly enjoyable trifle of a costume drama that was also quite pretty.

15. Arthdal Chronicles: Sword of Aramun - a hot mess but such an entertaining epic one. And it gave us TWO Lee Jun Kis in period gear and who am I to cavil at the bounty of God?

14. The Story of Park's Marriage - it's a trifle, a souffle, so light it might blow away, but it keeps my attention and is so fun and sweet.

13. My Lovely Liar - a huge surprise, that manages to mix a murder mystery and a romcom, and shocked me by showing Hwang Minhyun can act.

12. Tale of the Nine Tailed 1938 - the original ToNT was my fave drama of its year and I did not think it needed a sequel. But this is not a sequel but more of a side-quel and is such a total delight with brotherly love, adventures, romance and hijinks. It's a joy.

11. Perfect Marriage Revenge - it's actually very hard to do a soap right but this slim 12 ep drama managed. So fun, so crazy, such a good ship!

10. My Lovely Boxer - not really about sports, but about two broken people finding salvation because of and in each other. Also, if you like age gap romances, this is delicious. Sort of loses steam by the end but c’est la vie.

9. The Secret Romantic Guesthouse - this was a sageuk that was not on my radar with a bunch of actors I was not familiar with but it took my heart away. A good plot that was perfectly paced, characters and ships I adored, a logical ending. This is one of the biggest positive surprises of the year for me.

8. Tell Me That You Love Me - a slice of life remake (sort of, it's more "inspired by") of my favorite jdrama of all time. It's not as good as the jdrama because nothing could be, but it's an aching lovely story with some incredible performances.

7. See You In My 19th Life - funny and romantic and haunting and hopeful and odd. This was one of my favorites of the year.

6. Alchemy of Souls: Light and Shadow - it's rare for me to like a (1) sequel (2) with FL actress change (3) that is a Hong Sisters drama. But this was such a gorgeous, surprisingly achy story of love and loss and love regained with some cool monster fighting in the middle. Between the two seasons, this is the first Hong Sisters' drama I enjoyed from beginning to end in well over a decade.

5. My Demon - so tropey (chaebols, supernaturals) but it proves that these tropes are popular for a reason. The chemistry is fire, the story is unpredictable and the whole thing is an addictive delight. A rare drama where I like each new ep more than the last one.

4. Goryeo Khitan War - an old school sageuk in every meaning of the term (no romance, no eye candy, lots of bearded men, battles and politics), this feels like watching an epic movie more than a drama. The vast cast all earns their place and the performances (mainly from character actors given a chance to shine) are incredible.

3. Call It Love - two very very damaged people finding love and healing with each other. This is a narrative very hard to do to my satisfaction but when it's done well, as here, there are few things that can hold a candle to it.

2. My Dearest - a masterpiece of cinematography, narrative, performances. This is an old-school epic romance in the best sense of the term. If it doesn't make you swoon or break your heart, there is something wrong with you. A story of two untraditional, strong-willed, flawed people who fall in love in the middle of the horrifying Qing invasion of Korea and have to deal with all that the world throws at them, this is a bona fide masterpiece.

1 - Moon in the Day - who knew my favorite kdrama of the year will star a store brand Domyoji from Extraordinary You and an actress I was never familiar with. But this part period/part modern fantasy tale of doomed cursed lovers is everything I knew I wanted and everything I didn't know I wanted but did. Two lovers where their love did not save them and in modern day it might not again, has got me obsessed the way I haven't been in years.

FAVORITE DRAMA

Moon in the Day - if there is such a thing as a drama made perfectly for me, this gorgeous, emotionally haunting, utterly romantic, twisty tale is it.

WORST DRAMA

The Escape of the Seven. This drama is proof that demons exist and not sexy ones like Song Kang but horrible nasty ones who delight in the torment this hot mess inflicted on its viewers.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Do Ha, Moon in the Day - a Silla general and a consummate killer who committed atrocities on the orders of his monster father and yearned to die for them, who found the meaning in life in loving his enemy but it did not make him better, a man so obsessed he literally was around for 1500 years of horrifying ghostly existence and still went "worth it" for a woman who killed him as long as he knew she loved him while she did it. He's intense and competent and beyond fucked up and has never had a normal day and I love him so so so very much from a safe distance.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Gil Chae, My Dearest - she starts out as vain and spoiled but the horrors that break so many others bring out all her fierce survivor potential and she becomes such a force of nature - capable of incredible love but also sacrifice and strength and compassion.

Runner Up: Shin Hye Sun's reincarnator in See You In My 19th Life - quirky, damaged, strong, so odd and so vulnerable at once.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

There are a lot of characters who fit that category (King Injo in My Dearest? My God) but the crown belongs to So Ri Bu from Moon in the Day. You think you've seen abusive parents but until you've seen a man abuse his son his whole life and then continue for 1500 years after his death, you ain't seen nothing!

FAVORITE SHIP

The doomed by the narrative OTP of Moon in The Day. Only thing that's better than enemies to lovers is enemies while lovers and their impossible relationship where her killing him is a supreme act of love and his refusing to let go is so strong that he stays around for 1500 years watching her, helpless as she dies over and over again, is everything you ever want.

Runner up: Jang Hyun/Gil Chae, My Dearest. They are so strong and so damaged and it takes them so long to figure out what they feel and what the other person feels but their love and sacrifice and complexities are perfect.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Kim Shi Yeol/Hong Joo, The Secret Romantic Guesthouse - an assassin bodyguard pretending to be a carefree scholar and a widow of the man he killed to protect his king (and whose life was destroyed as a result.) I enjoyed the main OTP of this drama but I was utterly and completely unhinged for the secondary couple.

I'd have probably picked Rang and his mermaid from TotNT 1938 even over them, but they really were the main OTP of that drama.

NOTP

King the Land couple seems like an easy target but honestly, they are both so terribly bland and antiseptic and marketing by committee, they kinda deserve each other. So I am gonna go with Destined with You, one half of which thinks supernaturally roofying someone into loving them is cute and the other half thinks dating one woman while wooing another is totally a-ok. Ugh.

FAVORITE SCENE

There is no competition for the scene in the slave market in My Dearest, where Jang Hyun finds Gil Chae - the way he screams and tries to clutch the hem of her skirt will live in my head forever.

And the scene where he 'wins' that horrifying bet, or the scene where she finds him in a pile of bodies - they are as good also. Or when he fights off a squad to protect her even though he's sick. That whole drama is perfect.

Runner up: the scene of Do Ha executing Ri Ta's family, covered in blood, as she looks at him from the crowd in Moon in the Day.

Or the scene where he talks about how he cannot live as a person but at least maybe she will kill him and he will die as one. Or when her confession in the past intercuts with his walking in the present, or when he comes home in his bloodied armor and she finds he has a fever and it's the first tender touch he's probably ever known. Her murdering So Ri Bu saying she knows she's going against filial piety in loving her parents' murderer, the way they hug, both bloody, as he says "let's live." The way she says she can't go on as she's hit rock bottom and he replies she cannot quit because she must accompany him to his rock bottom now. Honestly, the drama is a font of amazingness.

Also, the opening scene of Goryeo Khitan War or the scene of Yang Gyu ordering to shoot the captives and having to do so himself.

The OTP meeting again at the intersection at the end of ep 1 of Tell Me That You Love Me. SHS comforting ABH as he's having a traumatic breakdown in 19th Life. The love-making scene in Call It Love. There were a lot of great scenes this year.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Lee Jang Hyun, My Dearest - is that even a competition? He's flawed - vain, often emotionally closed off, not great at processing emotions, lashing out when hurt. He is also incredibly heroic in a real, knows the cost but bears it, kind of way. Whatever he does, he commits utterly but it's never without understanding the cost. He felt both larger than life and utterly real. He went through hell and maintained his soul and the way he loved Gil Chae was breath-taking to behold.

Runner Up: Yang Gyu, Goryeo Khitan War - an experienced military commander who wins an impossible victory even as it ravages his soul. Competence is sexy as fuck.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Rang, Tale of the Nine Tailed 1938 - 1938 really was Rang's chance to shine and he took it. For a character I started out disliking in the original, he really stole my entire heart in this drama. I am so glad he got his happy ending with his brother and his girl.

Runner Up: Crown Prince, My Dearest. He started out as a sheltered, spoiled aristocrat, convinced the world owed him for existing. He grew up slowly and painfully into an amazing man. And then was murdered for it and I cried.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Arthdal - it leaves the story at a good stopping point but it's very much a "world in flux, adventures and conflicts continue" ending and I would love to see more of these characters. I know we won't but it would have been nice.

NEEDS SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

Behind Your Touch - should have been snipped at birth.

TOO MANY SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

Vigilante - I don't mean it had scissors taken to it because it's not cdrama and there is no NRTA, but this drama would have benefitted from being longer. I mean, I love fights and gay polycules as much as the next tumblr person but a bit more character development would not have come amiss. (ahaha - I said come. Leave me alone.)

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

I don't care about cops/doctors/trash collectors/whoever - workplace drama centering on their "cases" needs to die. I hate procedurals from any country and Korea is no exception.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Supernatural critter devoted to their OTP with all the power of their long life.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

Our Blooming Youth - it was far from terrible but it was a giant meh. I was so excited to see Park Hyung Sik in a sageuk (that wasn't the hot mess that was Hwarang) and I adored the source novel. It actually started well and then...it's like Revenge of the Beige!

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

I want to say Moon in the Day but to be honest, I was excited by posters and trailers so it wasn't wholly a surprise despite not having much of an opinion on the actors before I saw them. So I am going to say My Demon. I was bored by the trailers, I can't remember the last time I enjoyed a Kim Yoo Jung drama and before this year I would have said Song Kang was an incredibly limited actor in everything I've seen him in and not appealing to me at all. And here I am rabidly rabiding for this drama!

If I am not limiting myself to dramas but can use this for actors - Hwang Minhyun in My Lovely Liar. I genuinely did not think the man could act and then he gave such a pitch-perfect, nuanced performance out of nowhere!

2023 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

I have actually watched all the kdramas that aired this year that I wanted to check out except for Evilive. I am saving this for when I have time.

BEST NON-2023 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2023

I don't know if I'd say it's the best but Say You Love Me (2004) with Kim Rae Won as a quasi monk seduced away from his true love by an evil older woman was a hell of a ride.

MOST ANTICIPATED

Love Song for Illusion (Lady assassin falls for her royal target who has two personalities), Captivating the King (lady spy falls for her royal target who is tormented) - notice a theme? Also Flower that Blooms at Night because Honey Lee in a sageuk, The Life of Mrs Ock (Lim Ji Yeon in a sageuk), The Love Story of Chun Hwa (an "erotic" sageuk, hmmmm, what?!), Hong Rang (Lee Jae Wook in a super angst sageuk), Queen Woo (that cast and set in Goguryeo!), Wong Kyung (about Lee Bang Won's wife and I love the cast.) Basically, if it's period, I am there with bells on.

#kdrama #year in review #my dearest #moon in the day #call it love #tell me that you love me #goryeo khitan war #tale of the nine tailed 1938 #tale of the nine tailed: 1938 #The Secret Romantic Guesthouse #my demon #the story of park's marriage contract #perfect marriage revenge #Alchemy of Souls: Light and Shadow #see you in my 19th life #my lovely boxer

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tetsvhoe · 3 years

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MILESTONE EVENT [CLOSED]

welcome to gwen's cafe. we're celebrating 100 followers! and if i don't get any requests i will delete this post and pretend nothing happened. what can i get for you today?

edit: as of june 8 we've already reached 400 so let's just pretend this is an event for that! :D

how to order

pick a genre, maximum of two. choose your prompts as numbered, maximum of three dialogues in total. lastly choose your character, only one per request.

caramel macchiato [ angst ]

1. “I’m leaving.” “Of course you are, that’s all you know how to do.”

2. “But it’s my fault right?”

3. “I don’t want to feel this. I want to be numb again.”

4. “You’re lying to me again. Why can’t you just tell me the truth for once?”

5. “I can’t lose you.” “You already did.”

6. “Did it mean anything to you? Did I mean anything to you?”

7. “How was I such an idiot, to believe that you, out of all people, could ever love me?”

8. “You win, happy?”

9. “Any other lies left to tell me?”

10. “Let me go.”

11. “Move out of my way before I make you.”

12. “Sorry doesn’t fix everything.”

13. “You promised.”

14. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.”

15. “I’m sorry I’m not enough for you.”

white chocolate mocha [ fluff / humor ]

16. “Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”

17. “You should probably go home.” “But I’m already home.”

18. “You’re an idiot.” “But you love me.”

19. “I didn’t think it was possible to love someone this much.”

20. “This reminded me of you.”

21. “Are you blushing?”

22. “Can I stay here tonight?”

23. “You owe me.” “Fine, whatever you like.”

24. “Darling I love you and all, but please step out of the kitchen.”

25. “You took all the pillows so I’m using you as one.”

26. “You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.”

27. “Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.”

28. “Shut up with all that soulmate shit.”

29. “Sorry, is that supposed to impress me?”

30. “So it’s a date?” “Nope. Not a date.”

vanilla sweet cream cold brew [ nsfw ]

31. “I may or may not have left some….marks.”

32. “I think we were a little too loud last night.”

33. “Bite your lip once more, I dare you.”

34. "What are you gonna do about it?"

35. “God i love your hands.” “Let's put them to good use then."

barista's drink

just pick a prompt and character and leave the genre to me. or pick a character and the rest would be a surprise!

thank you to @scvrllet and @moanlightlust for the prompts! <3

#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu headcannons #haikyuu prompts #haikyuu oneshots #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x yn #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu hurt #haikyuu comfort #haikyuu smut #haikyuu suggestive #[ archive ]

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ennui-gt · 3 years

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Here it is. A Piece Of Borrower Content Written Entirely In Stream Of Consciousness:

AN: so this is incomplete and very…needs revisions to the timeline to incorporate some things I added later! It’s the original universe that Mira’s from! I edited it like Slightly to just change Ross’s name to Ross (if u see Max anywhere that’s his old one I just felt like changing it so that’s just him but different. Anyway) Everything's under the readmore tab, cheers!

The Library Fairy:

Basic Plot (Chrono, comic starts from human perspective abt the ‘legend of the library fairy’ ig maybe. Nothing here is permanent cept the characterization)

Part A

1- Mira is borrower currently chillin in a college library

2- She lives off of the cafe on the second floor nd reads lots and lots of stuff about everything when the upper floors close (lower floor open 24/7 but upper floors r vacant p much after 12:00 AM)

3- she starts getting increasingly curious about human stuff cos she’s literate nd books r pry neat

4- it starts one night when she spots an unattended notebook and a half eaten blueberry muffin, nd it’s 12:30 so nobody’s coming back in atm (it’s the 80s so no laptops for the plebians quite yet)

5- so she goes ‘welp’ nd takes part of the muffin, then sees the work on the page and goes ‘hmmmm this is incorrect’ so she helps our and leaves notes here n there to point the kid in the right direction and puts down some book refs for further study bcos at this point she’s been there for 2 years and she knows where most things are

6- she stays behind to see if the human comes back for it, hidden in a hidey hole near the desk

7- human comes in, sees notebook, practically melts w relief nd stuffs it in his bag

8- next day human comes back nd leaves nother notebook and a cookie, along w a hidden camera

9- Mira goes ‘o boy, this a trap, innit’

10- Mira then decides ‘eh whatever I haven’t had contact w anyone in years now so I might as well’

11- she steals the camera film nd leaves a lil scrap of paper saying ‘nice try ;)’ on it

12- student comes back, sees paper, goes ‘dammit’, then leaves note addressed to the ‘library fairy’ and another cookie, as well as more of their work for her to help with

13- bout a decade goes by and now the “Library Fairy” is an urban myth, it’s currently 2003 so she’s also wound up on the school’s unofficial Wikipedia page under ‘local cryptids’

14- most library employees know of her but they don’t go looking out of fear stemming from superstitions bout her, somehow the legend grew from ‘can’t be photographed’ to ‘a student once saw her and died that day’

15- there’s now a small shrine devoted to her where ppl bring offerings hoping to get good grades in return, sometimes they will leave papers for her to proofread nd stuff

16- new prof (named Alexei) finds online article thinks he Knows What’s Up bcos he had a borrower friend as a kid, but they left when borrower’s fam found out about them knowing each other

17- he leaves note wedged in one of her secret entrances behind outlet, asking if she can meet w him at some point

18- Mira, already In it, goes ‘Okay. Alright. This has gone on for long enough. Time to go and never return’ but ofc she’s curious as all hell and like she decides she will at least honor the guy’s request for a convo b4 she goes, but on her terms and w/o speaking face 2 face

19- they Talk in the library after hours, bcos he paid off the janitor to let him stay after hours nd most of the student employees recognize him as a prof nd leave him alone

20- they talk again for every subsequent night

21- she uhhhh finally decides to reveal herself nd prays that her hunch was right nd he won’t try to grab her or anything

22- he doesn’t but she’s nervous so she winds up gettin caught in her own climbing rope like idiot, is now dangling from ceiling in tangled mess

23- he stifles chuckle nd she says smthn sarcastic

24- he moves closer and offers to untangle her

25- she’s like ‘please’

26- so he do, but her grip on the rope slips nd he has to catch her

26- so now she’s in his hand and he just sets her down and now he’s a bumbling embarrassed mess bcos he said he wasn’t going to hold her and he just did and o dear pls forgib him

28- nd she’s like ‘dude u just saved my life it’s fine ur fine chill’

29- internally she’s going HOLY FUCK AAAAAAA but externally, her human’s already worked up enough as it is so she’s gotta b the level headed one

29.5- after a while they both kinda get used to each other more, he gets tenure, they celebrate, some more stuff happens, Aleksei got married (not to Mira, Mira hasn’t actually rly thought about being in a relationship w anyone cos she’s laser focused on gaining as much knowledge as possible)

30- eventually Alexei’s like ‘hey so I’m dean of faculty for the biotech branch now uhhhh would u like actual job teaching students? Cos, uh, you can do it remotely thru online lectures n stuff, no in person interaction, and I uh was just kinda wondering—‘

31- she’s like ‘yes. Yes!!! LET ME HELP PEOPLE OFFICIALLY KINDA’

32- so now she’s a professor, and has revealed her Secret a few times here n there to a number of the faculty, nd she has recorded her own findings in a personal journal

33- ‘humans will treat u like a human if they think ur human first. The kids call it ‘catfishing’’

34- enter Ross, an mall goth who accidentally tripped headfirst into a premed program

35- Mira’s favorite field of study is bio so naturally she’s his prof for a majority of his classes

36- being the good boy that he is, he now knows Mira’s secret. There is an Entire Chapter on him finding out and legit just continuing their conversation as if everything was normal bcos he thought that was how he was supposed to handle the situation

37- then she says ‘u can ask questions, u know’ he’s like OH THANK FUCK CAUSE I HAVE SEVEN HUNDRED OF THOSE

38- and now he kinda knows what to look for in terms of ‘do borrowers live here check yes or no’

39-in his apartment, the answer is yes and he mistakenly kinda stumbles upon the mom one night when he wakes up in the middle of the night for Snack and opts to pretend like its not happening. Unfortunately the thing she was trying 2 borrow (piece of crumb cake for Son Boy’s birthday) is the thing he wants 2 eat so he’s like “uh. ‘Scuse me, ma’am.” and he peels back the saran wrap on the other side of the plate, takes piece, nd then leaves some there for her

40-so now the woman is like ‘welp guess it time 2 Leave’

.1- she and husband Talk

.2-they decide it best 2 go

.3-theyre Packing

.4-lil bab Ellie confused

.5-hawk attacke

.6-cut to Ross

41- Ross also happens to work at a bar and he goes outside for a break

43- he finds smal child—smol smal—on the sidewalk and said child is missing an arm, nd has lost a lot of blood, so he’s uhhhhh Losing It highkey

43.5-parents r nowhere 2 b seen, but the hawk is nearby and circling. Ross gets an idea of what just happened

44- he up and leaves work, thankfully his apartment is above the shop so he jumps up the fire escape w the child and

45- he make tourniquet

46- he calls Mira nd asks her 2 come over to ASAP. he’s A Mess at this point

47- it is Very touch and go, kid needs blood, Mira is the only viable donor so she’s just gotta pray that the blood type is fine and won’t kill him

48- and then eventually they manage 2 stave infection thru antibiotics properly dosed to his size, Mira does Math and Prays basically

49- ‘bout a month in, kid wakes up

50- kid doesn’t rember much since he’s only 3

51- hes v scared of Ross at first but over time he gets used 2 the human

52- kid (elliot) starts 2 call Ross ‘dad’ after a while

53- Ross: *internal screaming but in a good way*

54- the end kinda for now

Part 2

A- New Borrowers In The Building

—three of em. paranoid dad, mom, nd daughter that’s Elliot’s age so he’s pumped

B- Elliot offers them a place 2 stay briefly

C- he knows by now bout like, how borrowers don’t typically interact w humans and Auntie Mira’s a bit of a weird case so he just doesn’t tell em bout his dad being the human

D- the kid finds out first nd doesn’t tell the parents, but they figure it out later kinda and think that it’s a ‘o god he’s being kept as a pet’ sitch so they’re >:| abt it

E- they move out and try to take Elliot w them (by force bcos they think he’s brainwashed) but he escapes and makes it to Ross, who’s like “uhhhhhh”

F- and the mom come out the hole near the counter n starts yelling at Ross, who is…kinda used to it since Mira brings in ppl who need help from time 2 time and they typically don’t react well when they’re lucid enough to understand what’s going on. He’s just not used to being questioned about his own kid

G- so they’re like “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING WITH HIM”

H- and he’s like “r…raising him???”

I- and Ellie steps up and he’s like “this is my dad. I decided he was my dad when I was three. He’s being a good parent”

J- and Ross is like “yeah what he said. I’m a good parent.”

K- Ross is riding that high til the end of fucking time but like back to the story at hand

L- this is when the husband comes out nd is like “lissen. wifey. ily but that is a very big human and he hasn’t grabbed us yet so let’s count our blessings and gtfo”

M- but she’s like “uh no we stay until I’m sure Elliot is Safe and fucking Sound”

N- so they stay for dinner nd stick around a little longer.

O- Val (the kid) gets closer 2 Elliot and also Ross a bit

P- Mira shows once or twice, first time she shows up they’re like “oh god it’s the crazy doctor lady this all makes sense now” (bcos Mira does check up on as many borrower families as possible in her free time so word has got around by now Of her, and the number by which to contact her in case her services r needed)

Q- After a month or so, then they decide to leave bcos they’re like “look we get that ur son is ur son and he only has one arm and in our profession that is kind of a death sentence but we can’t have our kid getting used to dealing w humans who know about our existence” so they go and leave on a kind of sour note bcos Ellie can do anything he wants to do just as well as any other borrower Thank You Very Much and Ross is ready to fite anyone who thinks otherwise

R- Elliot starts trying 2 b more independent, basically from now on he’s like ‘I can do everything my Damn Self Thanks’

S- but uh he does it to a point where he’s going out of the way to endanger himself

T- so they get into a fite about it and ross Yells and Elliot is like ‘kthxbye’

U- and the boi just. Fuckin bolts. Runs Away. Ross is a Mess, he starts smoking again (he quit cold turkey the day he took Elliot in) to curb the depression, he’s jus. Not doin good, worried that his son is dead and the last time they talked it’d ended badly

V- FREEDOM!!!1! Except Ellie doesn’t kno how to take care of himself so it’s a rough month or so and then he runs into some other borrowers livin in their own town in the wild ig, chillin, being hella independent, and he’s like “uh yes ofc I will join u, I was w my dad for a while but.........” he neither confirms nor denies that his dad’s dead but everyone kinda just assumes.

Part 3

W-anyway a year goes by and then the borrower group gets hit hard w some kind of sickness ig. Elliot gets it too he’s basically incapacitated n drifting in and out of lucidity. So. They contact the weird crazy doctor lady who hangs around humans, a.k.a. Mira, and she’s like “oh. fuck. I know this kid.” bcos she does, u kno, and she jus treats em all for their ailment and shows them how to make antibiotic poultice thing in case smthn like it happens again. Mold. Penicillin is basically what it is

X-she and Elliot hav a Chat (Mira basically yells at him a lot) once he’s fixed up and he decides he’s gonna visit his dad but he makes it very clear that he is a Grown Up (he’s not, he’s literally sixteen), and he is living on his own now

Y- he agrees to stay for a week tho since he misses his home a lot tbh and Ross is just. Over the fucking moon to know he’s ALIVE, he’s not gonna fuck up their relationship by insisting that he stay. Or like, by keeping him ofc he would never

Z- unfortunately the borrower community put two and two together and figured out his dad’s human so they have his stuff packed up when he gets back w mira, who’s ready to go the fuck off on them

End 1:

-Ellie is living at Ross’s place atm and hopeful about the future basically. He eventually will go off on his own but he’ll keep in contact w his dad and stuff

Part C.5

55- few yrs later

56- elliot is Adult now he does adult borrower stuff

57- he moves out

58- finds nice borrower gf (her name’s Tess)

59- doesn’t tell her about his dad being human but talks about his dad a LOT

60- so when she asks to meet said father he’s just like “uh. Maybe we don’t do that actually”

61- and she’s like “y tho”

62- and he’s like “bcos”

63- anyway she decides to look into it cos she knows he goes to see his dad nd keep in touch but his dad is allegedly “a recluse who lives in the big scary human’s walls to avoid other ppl”

64- which is. Not true in the slightest tbqh he’s def not an introvert he’s just a workaholic and he Is the big scary human

65- anywho they run into Val and her wife and she’s like “how’s Ross been?” And Elliot is acting Very Suspish so she, being Smart, calls it immediately and is like “oh shit u haven’t told her yet have u”

66- Tess: “told me what”

67- Val: “El’s dad is a human, bro.”

68- Tess: “I’m sorry?”

69- this results in a Big Fight and they separate for like, a month. Elliot blames Val bcos he’s being irrational and doesn’t wanna admit to the fact that lying to his girlfriend for over a year was Real Bad Actually, but over time he’s like ‘yeah it’s my fault sry for snapping at u’ cos he works thru his emotions n stuff

70- Eventually gf comes back cos she’s like “ok so. I understand why you lied to me about your dad. It was a dick move but I do get it and I still care about you a lot. I would like. To meet him.”

80- this is a lie she does not want to meet him she is doing this bcos she does not want to lose Elliot and that outweighs the fear of his dad

81- so they go to meet him but she’s just kinda. Behind the wall at first like “that’s a crazy big human this is crazy ur crazy it’s time to gO”

82- Val is also there bcos she hasn’t seen Ross in a while

83- they eventually coax her out of hiding

84- and by that I mean Val picks her up and drags her out into the open by force bcos she basically freezes up the second she catches sight of Ross and Val’s like “u didn’t come all this way for nothing, bich”

85- they have a Painfully Awkward First Meeting, Tess is trying her best but oh god he’s just too fucking. Larg. Ellie ur dad too big

86- tbh tho the ice kinda breaks after Ellie and Ross get into a fight over smthn stupid (im thinking Elliot grumbles bout Ross’s hair being unruly and he’s worried that mira’s using it like a personal storage system again and Ross is like “I’ve been keeping better track of that actually” and then like a little line of paper clips and a few hand-bound notebooks tied together w some string fall out of his fucking mane and he’s like “I can explain”

87- “dad you can’t keep letting her use your hair like a fucking NEST”

88- Tess is laughing now cos god damn this was not what she was expecting

89- that’s it the end it ends w Tess laughing at them being idiots good times r had by all

Uhhhh that’s it so far. I have More but it’s kinda jumbled rn and I need to fit stuff in places. Anyway.

#was gonna make this into a comic lawl #if I like actually manage to get off my ass over the coming weeks I probably will be able to do that! but yeah #also this was once posted b4 and I deleted it but it’s back now say hellow #Library Fairy #oc: Mira #oc: Ross #oc: Elliot #oc: Tess #oc: Val #oc: Alexei #anyway yeah here it is behold #the uhhhhh most slice of life thing I have ever created

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concernedcrisis · 4 years

Text

Thankyou again to @theelfmaiden for tagging me 😊. Much appreciated!

1. What is the colour of your hairbrush?:

Mostly black but with a bit of gold rose.

2. Name a food you never eat:

I'm not exactly against any specific foods, i'd try anything once. But our family specifically doesn't have Brussels sprouts in out household. It's kinda a thing.

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold?:

I tend to overheat a lot, so i' d say too warm.

4: What were you doing 45 muinets ago?:

Watching a character arch breakdown i think. Maybe.

5: What is your favourite candy bar?:

We don't really call it candy down here. There's a distinction between the names for lollie types and chocolate. I'm just gonna assume this means chocolate because it specifies it's in a bar. This might seem a little boring, but I honestly love the plain Cadbury chocolate.

I love when its put in the fridge so it doesn't melt, but also is still soft enough to be bitten, plus it's really good when you dip it in a hot drink like coffee, hot milo, or a hot choc, and it's only just started to melt. When I was little in girl guides, we used to have sleep over competitions where you had to cut a quare off a hard solid block with a butter knife before the timer ran out and then you would tag team with another member and do something else. The team to finish the family block first wins.

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game?:

Yeah, the first that comes to mind is when i went to a NRL game with a group from school and we got to hold the side banners for the Panthers team as they ran onto the field, then got to have a meet up with them after the game.

7. What is the last thing that you said out loud?:

I really can't remember except for maybe 'yeah'

8. What is your favourite your favourite ice cream?:

I don't really have a favourite, but I do like it when its got chunks😍 - initiate primal instinct to scavenge -

9. What is the last thing you had to drink?:

Dare ice coffee.

10. Do you like your wallet?:

I do actually. It was a gift from my aunty who I hardly see.

11. What is the last thing you ate?:

Chocolate I think.

12. What's the last sporting event you watched?:

I haven't watched a whole sporting even for quite a while. I've just been too buisy and generally am not that into many sports. But the last that I remember watching the whole thing was the state of origin games (A 3 game event between NRL players from NSW and QLD, within which each state rallies for their teams based on their state of origin.)

13. Did you buy new clothes last weekend?:

Nope.

14. What's your favourite flavour of popcorn?:

I haven't tried many flavours of popcorn. We don't have a whole lot of variety. I kinda just like the plain movie popcorn.

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?:

My mum.

16. Ever been camping?:

I probably have when I was younger, but not that I remember other than a tent in the backyard.

17. Do you take vitamins?:

Nope.

18. Do you regularly attend a place of worship?:

Nope.

19. Do you have a tan?:

Hah! I'm as red as Patrick's arse but certainly not tan.

20. Do you prefer Chinese or pizza?:

It kinda depends on the type.

21. Do you drink your soda through straws?:

Here we call it soft drink 😊. It really depends. Most of the time when we buy it ourselves I just drink it either from the can, bottle, or in a cup. But if we've gotten it from a servo or from a takeaway shop (eg. A fish and chips shop) , and a straw is offered or available, then yeah.

22. What colour socks do you usually wear?:

Usually black, but sometimes they've got those coloured stripes. A lot of my socks also have brands on them cause... free socks.

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit?:

I really try not to, and most of the time I don't. It's a little tricky cause I'm still on my Ls and don't want to use cruise control, plus our limit is only 90 when the roads I drive on (country mains) are 110 and the other drivers are either up my ass or trying to speed past me when they shouldn't. Trucks are okay tho, except for the pull back when they overtake.

24. What terrifies you?:

A lot of things scare me, but I'm not sure what to pinpoint as making me terrified. There are a few though.

25. Look to your left. What do you see?:

A stuffed turtle :) 🐢 (I know that's a tortoise, sorry).

26. What chore do you hate the most?:

I don't really dislike any in particular to the point that it stands out.

27. What do you think when you hear an Australian accent?:

Um, it kinda depends. Normally I don't notice it, cause it's where I'm from and how we speak, but if its extremely thick my mind instantly goes to 'Bogan'.

28. What's your favourite soda?:

I don't really have one. When I was a bit younger it was a fire engine. Now if we go out I kinda like to get a passiona. But I also love Back O'Bourke Cola (My dad used to drink it when he was little).

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?:

We don't go that often, so there's no real routine procedure. It's kinda just whatever the family wants to do.

30. What's your favourite number?:

Don't really have one.

31. Who's the last person you talked to?:

Either my little brother or my brother inlaw.

32. Favourite meat?:

I'm not a massive meat eater, but I do like pork and certain types of chicken.

33. Last song you listened to?:

Stantough's Bardcore/medieval cover of Vance Joy's Riptide. Befkre that is was Hozier's 'Foreigners god'.

34. Last book you read?:

I really can't remember the last book I read, I've recently only had time to read ficlets. But my favourite book, which I read when i was 13, is The Silence of The Lambs.

35. Favourite day of the week?:

I think it might currently be Tuesday (cause I get half the day off) and alternating Wednesday's and Thursdays (cause i get basically the whole day for art and to study how I want).

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards?:

Not fast, it'd tale me a while to do it.

37. How do you like your coffee?:

Kinda depends, If I want a pick me up I go for maybe black with sugar, otherwise a mocha or an iced coffee by industry default, but if I just want something chill I take it with milk and sugar.

38. Favourite pair of shoes?:

I don't really have a lot of shoes, cause I wear them to death before I get new ones. But I love this pair of boots I have for special occasions that's straight black and has a really nice tall thick heel.

39. Time you normally get up?:

During the week I initially wake up at around 5 but then hit a couple rounds of snooze before 5.40 am. On the weekend I typically get up maybe 9.30-10. Considering I'm up til 3-4 am.

40. What do you prefer, sunrises or sunsets?

I really like dusk as time if day, so based on that is say sunsets, but I think sunrises are really pretty too. Especially cause we live up on a hill in the country and can see the full thing.

41. How many Blankets on your bed?:

In winter there's 2 (Cause I'm not really too used to cold even though I love the cold and winter is my favourite season), but as it gets hotter there's usually either only 1 or still the 2 and I just sleep with them half on half off.

42. Describe your kitchen plates:

We have different sets, ones that we use daily and ones that we use for certain meals or occasions. The everyday ones are round, plastic, and grey. The other set is white an breakable (I can't remember the material) with a short rim. Each come in both a larger and a smaller size, and the nice ones also have small square counterparts for side dishes.

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment.

I guess it's pretty big, cause it goes with an open floor plan for the main areas of the house. There's a lot of counterspace, with quite a few cupboards and drawers, along with a small stand in pantry (Not a walk in cause you can only stand in it and turn).

But there are chairs behind the bigger bench from the dining area side so the bench is used to eat at too. It's actually pretty clean currently. (Mind you, I still live at home So that's probably why I can say it's big).

44. Do you have a favourite alcoholic drink?:

I still can't legally drink for another couple months, but I know I don't like most beers, Champaigns, or wines due to being allowed a small glass at my siblings weddings for the toasts.

45. What colour is your car?:

I don't have a car of my own yet, but the family car is white, and the old car my dad restored is blue.

46. Can you change a tire?:

Maybe in theory, cause I've been taught what to do if I need to, but I've never actually had to do it myself, I've just helped.

47. Your favourite state or province?:

I have a strong feeling this was supposed to be in reference to American states and provinces. I'm in Australia, so we've got the 6 states and 2 territories. The States being New South Wales (NSW aka, my state), Queensland (QLD), Victoria (VIC), Tasmania (TAS), South Australia (SA), and Western Australia (WA), and with the Territories being the Northern Territory (NT) and the Australian Capital Territory (ACT).

I don't particularly have a favourite.

48. Favourite job you've had?:

I've only had one official job (As in a causal employment with a specific salary and not stuff like family friend babysitting and house or dog minding around town) and have recently been hired for another but haven't started. I wouldn't exactly call it a favourite even if it's the only one. Let's just say I don't recommend big brand retail, especially not when being overworked by the company without proper area training, having to basically manage half of the store by yourself (including fulfilling other people's jobs), or when family is involved in the buisness.

Okey. Once again, I'm really really sorry for all the rambling.

I'm gonna tag:

@allenginsbergkinnie @brother-genitivi @geetimesthree @youhavemywhinyass @writer-inwonderland

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brownstudyk · 5 years

Text

Writing Prompts For Requests (PAUSED Until Further Notice)

Hey! Here’s my list of prompts, quotes and all that that you can select from and requests with a person.(feel free to add some extra detail or something, or mix&match)

If these aren’t your thing, and you’re wanting to get a little more specific, SEND ME A REQUEST.

Edit: How is it that I completely skipped over 14-21 and didn’t even notice.. I’ll be adding those in later today it’s 3am, and I should sleep

PLEASE SELECT 1-2 NUMBERS, AND A MEMBER:

1. “You’re just not the same anymore..”

2. “You can’t just lose your temper like this every time you get upset!”

3. “Calm down! You’re scaring me!”

4. “I’m done trying to help you!”

5. “You’re trembling.”

6. “No, it’s fine I can wait till you’re done talking to them.”

7. “Wow, you look even better in daylight.”

8. “You smell nice.”

9. “How long has it been since you last slept?”

10. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”

11. “How fast can you cum?”

12. “What happens if I do this?”

13. “Hi! You have to go.”

14. “Even if I did feel something for you...”

22. “Could you hold my hand?”

23. “We’re more than friends and you know it.”

24. “Why don’t you kiss me then?”

25. “Wash you hands, then hug me.”

26. “That looks hard. Let’s switch.”

27. "Well, I’m flattered that you’re jealous.”

28. “Is this romantic enough for you?”

29. “I don’t wanna go without you.”

30. “Uhm-t-those shorts look tight-”

31. “Well, fuck me then.”

32. “If you’d relax, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much.”

33. “There’s people around.”

34. “But..I’m hard.”

35. “Gimme your hand.”

36. “I’ve waited so fucking long for this-”

37. “This is your first time isn’t it?”

38. “Don’t touch me while I’m trying to sleep.”

39. “Sorry. It’s just so big..”

40. “You came in my room, and woke me up at 4am, too cuddle?”

41. “You don’t have to cover the hickies.”

42. “You, uhm-kinda touched my-yeah..”

43. “I wasn’t jerking off!”

44. “We’d make such a cute couple.”

45. “Can you two stop embarrassing me?”

46. “I don’t have a gag reflex.”

47. “We need some condoms.”

48. “Wow, you’re really strong.”

49. “You sure can’t keep your hands to yourself.”

50. “Just your wrists. If you don’t like it, we can stop.”

51. “Let’s pick a safe word.”

52. “So you’re saying you don’t want to have sex with me?”

53. “Your lips are really warm.”

54. “I want a baby.”

55. “I saw that. You just checked me out.”

56. “I got some in your hair..”

57. “Get your hand out your pants.”

58. “C’mere you can sit on my lap until I’m done working.”

59. “Now just move your lips like this..”

60. “You’re being too friendly with them.”

61. “Here’s a tissue. You looked like you needed it.”

62. “Are you okay?” “Why do you ask?” “You’re wearing two different shoes.”

63. “Can I kiss you?”

64. “The blueberry flavor probably tastes good.”

65. “I can hear you guys.”

66. “This is twerking?”

67. “WOW. Y’all freaky..”

68. “No. You’re thick.”

69. “Handcuffs?”

70. “Leave. Leave right now.”

71. “Ok whatever. Put it in your mouth.”

72. “That was fucking hot.”

73. “What? You wanna join?”

74. “I’m in a band.”

75. “I have something to say.” “I’m busy right now babe.” “No, like really.” “Ok. What?” “I love you..”

76. “Fuuuck that feels good.”

77. “I’ll just cum inside you then.”

78. “Apparently my friends have a bet that we’re going to end up together.”

79. “Y-you’re not wearing anything under that are you?”

80. “I know you can be a hell of a lot louder than that.”

81. “How the hell are you still hard/horny?”

82. “Don’t make me pull over.”

83. “Do you think they can hear us?” “Yes we can.”

84. “I could pull your bikini bottoms to the side, and nobody would even notice.”

85. “Isn’t this public indecency?”

86. “Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”

87. “Is this a date?” “NO. No date.” “O-oh yeah right. Not a date..”

88. “Ohmygod! Please kill it!”

89. “But this is my bed too.”

90. “This is girl talk, leave.” “Bu-” “Leave!”

91. “Move back and forth just a little-yeah like that.”

92. “Was that a moan?!” “No I-” “That was a fucking moan!”

93. “But I didn’t cum.”

94. “Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut the fuck up.”

95. “Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.”

96. “You act tough, but I know you’re a softie.”

97. “He’s fine though..” “...But I’m your boyfriend.”

98. “I’m a dick? I’ll show you a dick.”

99. “I had a nightmare.”

100. “Are we supposed to have sex now?”

106 notes · View notes

hardnoctlife · 4 years

Text

Author Asks

Decided to go ahead and answer these for anyone who might be interested.

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical “you” fic.

Domestic fluff, modern or school AU, with a sprinkling of angst. I’m really trying to work outside of my comfort zone, but I don’t really like too many crazy AUs.

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

I really want to do enemies-to-lovers, but it’s so hard to pull off convincingly and I’m afraid I’m going to mess it up.

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole?

MPREG…just…no. Also, most dub-con.

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

I’m currently working on a rewrite of one of my first fics “The Insomnian Academy for the Elite.” It’s called “Stand by You” in the new version! That’s it right now other than brainstorming for the Promptis Big Bang and trying to finish WDES Verse 2.

5. Share one of your strengths.

In writing? I think I do fun and convincing dialogue.

6. Share one of your weaknesses.

I’d say I spend more time writing dialogue than descriptions. I also sometimes have issues with pacing.

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Chapter 10 of “Write Drunk, Email Sober.” I feel like I nailed everything about that chapter, from the emotion, to the dialogue...it’s my favorite thing I’ve written.

In that moment, something clicks into place for Prompto, like being shifted from the shallow to the deep end of a pool. He realizes there is much more to Ignis Scientia than just his ease on the eyes, and Prompto knows that he wants to dive even further into his depths.

Prompto’s smile comes naturally, full and delighted. Ignis mirrors it with his own.

“Boyfriend to Professor Scientia has a nice ring to it,” Prompto agrees. Ignis touches their noses, rubbing them together briefly before bestowing a kiss on the blond’s lips. They sink back into the bed and downwards, and Prompto is amazed to discover you can be lost and simultaneously found.

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Most of “Rain or Shine and Everything In-Between,” because I felt like the dialogue was natural and fun, but also very true to life. My favorite scene is what I think is the most hard hitting of the entire fic:

“Tell me what’s the matter,” Ignis said as soon as the man had left the room, and Noctis made a show of studying the tips of his naga-skin boots, putting more weight on his good ankle. “Noctis?”

“I can’t do this, Ignis.”

“It’s only a tie, Noct—”

“No, this.” Noctis waved his hands at the whole room, and although it wouldn’t have been clear to anyone else, Ignis knew what he meant.

The prince’s advisor felt his heart skip a beat as he studied Noctis in the mirror, their eyes finally meeting as the prince’s chin jutted forward, stubborn, yet beautiful.

“What are you saying?” Ignis asked, pragmatic and cautious.

“I can’t do this, Iggy!” Noctis’s voice rose, skipping off the marble floors. “I won’t! I’m going to tell my father everything. I’m fucking gay for Bahamut’s sake, how I am supposed to make an heir, let alone have sex with my wife—”

“Shh,” Ignis implored, coming forward to squeeze Noctis’s shoulders in warning. “Shh,” he said a little more quietly, bringing his head to rest against Noctis’s cheek.

“I can’t—I can’t. Please, don’t make me do this!” Noctis’s heart was breaking, and Ignis’s was breaking along with it, and all this was so much more than choosing a stupid tie.

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

I’d say, “Daemons that Live in the Dark.” It was the heaviest content-wise. I had to take a lot of breaks to mentally and emotionally recharge between chapters, and the ending gave me the most trouble.

10. Which fic has bee the easiest to write?

“Write Drunk, Email Sober.” It was so fun to write, and I didn’t stop writing it from start to finish. It felt easy!

11. Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

I’d say a bit of both. I wanted to be a writer since I was in middle school, and even aspired to be an author at one point. I didn’t rediscover it until last year when surgery made me unable to be active and I needed something to do to manage my mental health.

12. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

When you get stuck, don’t be afraid to skip ahead and write scenes out of order. For me, this is especially helpful because I get certain scenes in my head that I want to jot down, but sometimes have trouble leading up to them.

13. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Not advice, exactly, but the idea that more kudos/hits/comments on a certain fic on AO3 = good/better. There have been popular fics that I have hated, and other ones with fewer kudos, etc. that I have absolutely loved. Everything is going to hit different from person to person, so you need to be true to you and what you like and not compare yourself to everyone else.

14. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

“Write Drunk, Email Sober” for sure. It would be hilarious to watch.

15. If you only could write on pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Does OT4 count as a pairing? Because I vote that.

16. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Typically from start to finish unless I’m have a particular scene in mind that I need to get out, or if I’m having trouble writing a scene I might skip ahead and go back later.

17. Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

No…I probably should. I use prompts a lot though, and music for inspiration.

18. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in a basement. Do you have a muse?

Yes—my wife.

19. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

Rainy day in a coffee shop, big latte, and spotify playlist on in the background.

20. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting.

I read through it once myself, let my wife read it and make edits, and then read it again. After posting I’ll read it a third time and usually still catch any errors I missed.

21. Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style.

I’m currently doing this with my fic, “Stand by You.”

22. If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

“Stand by You” and “Dawn of the Godslinger,” mostly because I loved the concepts, but I feel like my writing has improved dramatically since I first wrote them and they’re in desperate need of updating.

23. Have you ever deleted on of your published fics?

Yes, a few of my earlier ones. The writing and characterization was cringey.

24. What do you look for in a beta?

My wife has an MFA and is an editor so I’m lucky to have her as my beta.

25. Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

Yes! You have to edit your own work…I look for typos/grammar errors and characterization mostly.

26. How do you feel about collaborations?

With the right people they are a ton of fun! But if you have a bad partner they can be miserable. Overall, I really enjoy them.

27. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

Crazyloststar – mostly because she and I have very similar writing styles and she has GREAT characterization and very fun ideas. Definitely look up to her!

Carolyncaves – because they wrote one of my favorite fanfics ever, “Something Just Like This,” which is a great example of an ace person in a relationship and makes me think of my wife.

HigharollaKockamamie – because they wrote one of my other favorite fanfics, “The Temptation of Saint Anthony, but with This Guy,” which is the only fic that has ever made me like Ardyn.

28. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Oh man...probably something by @crazyloststar

29. Do you accept prompts?

Yes! I love them 😊

30. Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

I like to keep character’s personalities as canon as possible, but other than that it’s fair game. My number one pet peeve when reading fanfic is when authors don’t get the characterization right.

31. How do you feel about smut?

I enjoy it if I’m in the mood to read it, but I’m not a huge fan of writing it. I’d rather focus on the emotions behind character relationships rather than the physical aspects.

32. How do you feel about crack?

I’m not a huge fan of crack fics, reading or writing them.

33. What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

IF and only if it is woven into a story artfully, I can tolerate it. I do not like fics that focus specifically on non-con or dub-con as being sexy or attractive, and I refuse to write those kinds of fics. With that said, one of my fics does revolve around the idea that the antagonist rapes the main character, but it is not glorified in any way.

34. Would you ever kill off a canon character?

If it furthered the plot and I was going for angst, sure.

35. Which is your favorite site to post fic?

Ao3

36. Talk about your current wips.

Currently I’m working on “Stand by You,” my Promptis HS AU rewrite, and gearing up for the Promptis Big Bang. I also still have to finish WDES Verse 2.

37. Talk about a review that made your day.

Pretty much any of the comments on WDES…any comment, really.

38. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

I’ve gotten a handful. I typically delete them and move on. Otherwise, I respond to all comments.

#author asks #writing asks #asks and answers #hardnoctlife #fanfiction

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shall-we-imagine · 5 years

Text

A dare is a dare! (Yukiya ReizenxReader AU)

Requested: 33. "I'm not weird. I am limited edition." + 34. "I turned out liking you a lot more than I originally planned." From this prompt list.

I'm so so sorry I know you've requested this ages ago and I took forever to write it so thank you for waiting. ❤ I've been in a horrible slump lately too :/ so consider this like a warm up and hopefully I'll write something cooler soon!

Genre: Fluff + humor

(Second person point of view)

"Your turn, Scarlett! Truth or Dare?" Amelia giggles.

"Dare!" Scarlett beams proudly.

"I dare you to order us some pizza; I am honestly very hungry." Amelia, the host of the sleepover, complains.

"That's your fault." You state, Scarlett nodding in agreement.

"A dare is a dare!" Amelia shoves her phone in Scarlett's face.

The blond shakes her head, but starts dialling the number anyway. "Shouldn't we order some for Yukiya too?" She wonders. Yukiya is Amelia's twin brother, and he's the only family member of Amelia's that's currently present at home; her parents are on an overnight trip of some sorts: you didn't ask for the details.

"Yeah, shouldn't we?" You turn to Amelia. Yukiya, in spite of being awfully attractive, is very shy and quiet, so you barely ever got the chance to utter more than a few words to him, if you even got to see him that is. Whenever you visited your bestfriend's house, he seemed to always keep himself locked up in that room of his. You sort of wished he didn't though, perhaps because of your undeniable crush on the blue-haired boy, just a guess though.

"Nah, he can eat leftovers if there's any." Indifferent, Amelia shrugs.

"You're so mean! I'll order one for him." Scarlett states. "Wait, what should I order for him?"

"Oh, good question!" Amelia perks up. Uh oh, that's never a good sign. "I wonder what Yukiya's favourite pizza is...(Y/N), you go ask him!" She smirks. You'd never really confessed to either of your bestfriends about the little thing you have for Yukiya, but you've always suspected they'd caught on, probably from the 'subtle' glances you'd give him whenever you get a chance to see him.

"Why me?!" Your cheeks heat up.

"It's your penalty for not doing the last dare you got." The two idiots nod eagerly, as if Scarlett's reason was very plausible.

"But this isn't fair! You turned my dare into a truth! Daring me to answer truthfully to your question isn't-"

"A dare is a dare!" Amelia shouts, cutting my complaints off.

"What are you scared of?" Scarlett inches closer to me smugly.

"Nothing!" I lie. "I'm gonna go ask him; I don't have a problem with that!" I lie again. Oh god, he's gonna see straight through me with those beautiful hazel eyes of his and just know I like him.

"Do I hear wedding bells?" Amelia sighs dreamily, as I was about to exit the room.

"Stop being weird! I'm only trying to get this over with; you're not the only hungry one here, you know!"

She scrambles off the fluffy, pink rug and rushes to her dresser, quickly and sloppily putting on her sunglasses. She crosses her arms, striking a 'cool" pose, "I'm not weird. I am limited edition."

After a few seconds of Scarlett and I staring in bewilderment, the former finally nods, "Yeah, that's definitely weird."

"You're both mean!" Amelia tears off her sunglasses and places them back on the dresser before taking her place back on the rug.

You shake your head in disbelief but do not say anything, leaving Scarlett to deal with that dork. Serves her right for selling you out anyway; you chuckle to yourself.

You tentatively walk to the end of the dimly lit hallway, purposely stretching out the time it takes to reach there by slowing down your steps.

Unfortunately but inevitably, you reach your destination. Heart pounding violently in your chest, you lift your fist up to knock on his door, but retract it to rehearse your lines a few more times.

After gaining the slightest bit of confidence you won't stutter the second he opens that door, you raise your fist again, but before your knuckles could collide with the wooden door, it flings open, revealing Yukiya in grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt.

"(Y/N)?" His eyes widen. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I-uhm, you know.." What are words? Cuz 'damn, you look good!' surely wasn't the correct thing I needed to say. "I- what pizza do you like?!" You blurt out, making it sound almost like a threat- like you were mugging him of his pizza preference.

Confusion spreads across his features, "Um, I like margherita? Why?"

"We're ordering pizza for you- I mean for us- I mean for all of us...including you." Yeah, go ahead, make a fool out of yourself; that's exactly what you planned to do!

He laughs. Oh god that beautiful laugh; you'd never seen him laugh before, but now he was laughing because of you. "Thanks." He smiles. Now, you might actually be hearing those wedding bells Amelia was talking about....

Speak of the devil. Amelia's door flings open, revealing the girls. "You're taking too lo- ooohhh, look at that!" The smug expressions they both wore were enough to drown you in humiliation and embarrassment.

"We already ordered the pizzas!" Scarlett exclaims and shuts the door, leaving you and Yukiya alone in the quiet hallway.

"What?! Hey! Wait, then why did you make me-" You shout but give up halfway through, knowing you'll recieve no answer anyway.

"Amelia already knows I only eat margheritas." Yukiya says quietly, a smile tugging at his lips.

"I figured as much." You sigh, accepting defeat.

After a few moments of awkward silence, neither of you knowing what to say, Yukiya breaks the silence with a gentle tone, "Well, do you wanna get a drink as we wait for the pizza?"

"Of course." You smile, and then smile even more upon viewing the way his face lit up at your agreement. Maybe you do have a chance.

You head to the kitchen, Yukiya leading the way even though you know this house about as much as he does, considering it's practically your second home. Amelia always invites you over, especially because her parents are barely ever home.

You take a seat at the dining table in their kitchen and watch as Yukiya rummages through their fridge. "Is chocolate milk okay?" He innocently holds up two small cartons of chocolate milk- the type kindergarteners would fall head over heels for.

You giggle, "Yeah, chocolate milk is perfect."

"Why are you laughing?" He sits opposite to you and hands you your carton.

"Nothing, nothing. It's just- it's cute; you're cute." The words come out before you get the chance to think them through. God, can the ground just swallow you whole right now?

A slight blush takes over Yukiya's normally pale skin, "Thanks. You're cute too." He mumbles.

Your heart did literal backflips. Well, maybe not literal, but it felt quite literal. "Thanks." You breathe out, fumbling with the chocolate milk carton in your hand before finally sticking the straw in and taking a sip of your drink.

For a while that's what both of you did, just quietly sip your chocolate milk, no words spoken. You wanted to say something; you needed to say something. It felt like a chance you had to take; you could finally catch the attention of your crush, but you're quietly drinking chocolate milk!

You open your mouth to speak, but the doorbell interrupts you.

"That must be the pizza." Yukiya gets up, dumping his empty carton in the trashcan before rushing to the front door. Dammit. Your time with him is over; did you really need to waste your time being so uncomfortable and awkward? Jeez.

Scolding yourself all the way towards the door, you almost lose hope of ever getting such a good chance to talk to him like that. But you see Yukiya holding up about seven boxes of pizza, looking like a frightened, confused puppy.

"Oh! (Y/N)! Could you help me? Just pull out the hundred in my pocket, please." He pleads.

"Sure." You rush towards him, quickly sticking your hand in his sweat pants' pocket, eager to release him of the struggle he's in. However, your rashness results in your hand brushing against something you didn't quite need to touch. Not at this stage of your relationship at least.

Your eyes meet his equally panicked ones. "I- um..I meant my jacket's pocket.." His cheeks turn bright pink to match yours.

You turn your head to look behind you- a coat rack with a single jacket hung on it. Yukiya's.

You could feel embarrassment radiating from both of you; you quickly pull your hand out of his empty pocket and clear your throat. "Sorry."

"Can y'all get it over with? I still have work to do." The delivery boy huffs, following it up with a roll of his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sorry." You quickly pull the money out of Yukiya's pocket and make the payment while Yukiya waits with his tower of pizza boxes.

After you shut the door, the awkwardness seemed to suffocate you both. God, it was going so well; why did that need to happen?!

"I didn't mean to touch your-"

"I know. It's okay; I should've made myself clear." He gives you a reassuring smile, but you could still see how red his face is. Maybe it was just him getting tired of the pizza boxes though, you tried to lie to yourself.

"Uh, here, let me help you." You grab some of the boxes. "They're such pigs; I don't know how they eat all that." You joke.

"And Amelia was supposed to be on a diet too." He adds, laughing.

You join him, "So was Scarlett!"

After that, the incident was completely forgotten and you were able to actually enjoy your time with Yukiya and the girls without thinking of how you touched your crush's penis minutes ago.

"Yukiya, truth or dare?" Scarlett asks before taking a huge bite of her slice.

"Truth."

"Booorriiinng!" Amelia boos.

"Shut up; I have a juicy one!" Scarlett shoves her palm in Amelia's face.

For some reason, that made you nervous.

And judging by the way Yukiya glanced at you for reassurance, it made him nervous too.

"Okay, Yukiya, do you like anyone?" She smirks and looks at me.

"Why are you looking at me?" I raise an eyebrow.

"I'm not." She shrugs. "So? Yukiya?"

He stays silent for a few seconds but replies in a calm tone, "Yes."

The two girls squeal, scream, and jump around, but you could only sit there, your heart rate faster than the speed of sound. Your eyes meet his; now, if you were reading his invisible signals correctly, he was telling you it's you, but you could be imagining that, so no need to do anything stupid. Not again.

"Who is it?!" Scarlett practically jumpscares the poor guy.

"You already asked your one question. These are the rules, aren't they?" He smiles.

"Ugh, Yukiya, come on, don't ruin it!" Amelia groans.

"Cut it out! You can't force him to do whatever you want." You defend, earning a thankful smile from him.

"Yeah." He nods, to which the two girls slump down in annoyance. "(Y/N), your turn. Truth or dare?" Were your eyes playing tricks on you or did he just smirk at you? Oh god, he's too hot for existence.

"Dare." You gulp, hoping he's as nice as he seems.

He frowns.

"What's wrong?" Your eyebrows furrow in concern.

He chuckles sheepishly, "I didn't think of a dare."

"I did!" Scarlett volunteers. "Can I pick her dare?"

Before you could say No, absolutely not! Definitely not in a hundred years!, Yukiya had already agreed. Well, shit. Nothing good was about to come out of that little devil's lips.

"(Y/N), 7 minutes in heaven with Yukiya, that's your dare." She grins like she just won some sort of battle.

"That's a different game! Stop twisting the rules as you please!" I complain.

"A dare is a-"

"Oh my god, Amelia, if you say that one more time, I might punch you."

"Someone needs a hug." Amelia pouts sarcastically.

You sigh. If this was a cartoon, steam would be rushing out your ears by now.

"It's okay; we just need to stay in a closet for seven minutes, right?" Yukiya's hazel eyes bore into yours, delaying your response for a few seconds.

"Um, uh, yeah."

"No problem then." He grabs you by your wrist gently and leads you to Amelia's closet, both of you choosing to ignore the wolf whistles coming from the two girls on the floor.

"Okay, this is too cramped." You breathe out after the closet door was shut.

"Tell me about it." Yukiya lets out a light laugh.

"On the bright side, we get to escape their teasing for seven whole minutes." I propose.

"True." He agrees.

Silence consumes the small space after that.

It was fairly hot outside the closet, so inside it was just hell, basically. Plus, you weren't a fan of not being able to see anything. You were also scared of moving at all because you really didn't need any more accidents.

"Yukiya?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you actually like someone?"

He remains silent for longer than you would've liked but eventually gave a response.

"Yes."

"Do I know her?"

"Yes."

Curiosity was getting the best of you. "Can I get a hint?"

"Technically speaking, you can, but that doesn't mean you will."

It was extremely unusual for Yukiya to tease someone, from what you knew at least, so that made you feel special in some way.

"Pretty please?"

"I don't know. What would I get in return?"

You paused for a few seconds. Then did something extremely brave. A side effect of the darkness, or maybe the heat had melted your brain to a puddle.

You blindly reach out for him and work your way up to his neck. You stand on the tip of your toes and pull him closer to you, praying your lips collide with his and not have some awkward interaction where you kiss his chin or something. Then, you'd have to move to Ireland and hide your real identity for the rest of your life.

By some miracle, it happened. Your lips and his moved against each other with ease. His lips were slightly swollen due to his habit of biting on his lip when nervous, but they were soft nevertheless. Easily, what you'd planned to be a quick peck had turned into a passionate kiss.

You pull away, slightly panting. "Does that work?" You tease.

"Better than anything I'd dreamed of." He rests his forehead on yours. "I guess I turned out liking you a lot more than I'd originally planned."

The door to the closet flings open, leaving you feeling vulnerable and humiliated for some reason.

"Are we interrupting something?" Scarlett wiggles her eyebrows at the two of you.

"Ewww, I can't believe you just kissed my brother." Amelia whines, earning a smack from Scarlett.

"We planned that, you scatterbrain."

"I know, but still."

"I hate you both." You step out of the closet.

"Why? We got you a boyfriend." Amelia stares.

Your cheeks heat up. "Just shut up, will you?"

"Honestly, if anything, we should hate you; where are our boyfriends, (Y/N)?" Scarlett complains.

"That's not my fault!"

"You're saying there's something wrong with us?!" Amelia fake gasps.

You face palm and turn to Yukiya, who just gave you a sympathetic smile. "Yukiya, you have more of that chocolate milk?"

"Lots and lots of it." He laughs.

"Off we go then." You link your arm with his, turning him towards the door.

"You traitor!" Your bestfriends call out after you.

Well, it's their fault for 'getting you a boyfriend' after all.

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secondscratch17 · 5 years

Text

weird asks that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? All of them. I drink tea in coffee mugs and teacups. I love drinking wine. I like that I can recycle soda cans

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? chocolate

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? bubblegum if the flavor lasts long

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? the stereotypical quiet, obedient, smart, goody-two-shoes kid

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? somehow I like the aesthetic from soda bottles

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? hONESTLY I can dO ALL OF THE ABOVE in the span of days. Went to work one day wearing beach-y clothes for spirit day. Returned to pick up a friend to go see a metal concert in VERY metal concert attire. I own short, sweet summery floral dresses and gothic dresses, too

7. earbuds or headphones? Earbuds, they allow me to be more mobile

8. movies or tv shows? movies

9. favorite smell in the summer? Fresh cut grass. The smell of the ocean. Churros at the fair

10. game you were best at in p.e.? Soccer, obvs. Somehow would always last until the end of the game in dodgeball tho because I was small and no one could hit me

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? Cereal

12. name of your favorite playlist? Don’t have one.

13. lanyard or key ring? Key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? Smarties!

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? I remember re-reading Holes over and over just to make my book reports easier since I knew the boo so well. The Kite Runner was phenomenal and unforgettable

16. most comfortable position to sit in? idk?? I really can’t sit still in one position for too long

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? Currently my hiking/outdoorsy shoes. Also my black Nikes that I play pickup in and wear to the gym

18. ideal weather? Sunny and 65. Maybe one or two clouds. The tiniest of faint breezes to cool me down.

19. sleeping position? Any I can get into and fall asleep in quickly

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? Laptop. I can edit easier.

21. obsession from childhood? Probably any cheesy show on Animal Planet. The Most Extreme, Meerkat Manor, Big Cat Diary, etc

22. role model? I have a lot of different ones. Role models for athletics, role models for career and ambition choices, artistic role models...can’t pick just one

23. strange habits? Spelling words with the tips of my fingers

24. favorite crystal? Aquamarine

25. first song you remember hearing? how in the FUCK am I supposed to remember that. I do remember my parents playing The Beatles for me when I was a toddler

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Soccer! (futbol)

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? Sledding, making hot chocolate, or playing indoor soccer haha

28. five songs to describe you? Who I am Hates Who I’ve Been by Relient K, Proud by the Icarus Account, Land of the Dead by Voltaire, Always Leaving by Mayday Parade, Wavin’ Flag by K’naan

29. best way to bond with you? Listening to my favorite music with me or watching the US Women’s national soccer team with me

30. places that you find sacred? Belfast, Maine. Gold Camp Road. Newport Beach

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Tight jeans with holes in them, fishnets, and a crop top

32. top five favorite vines? Vines still exist?

33. most used phrase in your phone? “tbh”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? O O O O REILLYYYYYY’S autoparts

35. average time you fall asleep? around 9

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? I don’t remember

37. suitcase or duffel bag? suitcase

38. lemonade or tea? Is it warm outside? Lemonade. Is it cold outside? tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? PIE!

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Zombie hunting or my professor cutting lab a half an hour short to go look at some Cedar waxwings

41. last person you texted? I think it was Robert

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Pants pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Jean jacket

44. favorite scent for soap? Anything fruity

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Fantasy. It depends on how good the sci-fi movie is

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? as little as possible lmao

47. favorite type of cheese? Parmesan

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? A raspberry

49. what saying or quote do you live by? A great amount of good is always evened out by a great amount of bad

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? Honestly Daniel knew how to make me laugh better than anyone. There are a couple of memories with him that I don’t remember entirely but I know that I ended up cry-laughing so hard that my head hurt. There was a time during my orientation camping trip when a bunch of us were playing ultimate Frisbee, and Jesse went to catch the frisbee in the most perfectly lateral horizontal position and the expression of focus just frozen on his face had me laughing so hard that I couldn’t see

51. current stresses? Sam. Jobs that I can apply for starting in May of 2020. Sam. STUDENT LOANS. Bills. Car payments. Wondering how fucked up my car has gotten since I’ve lived here on this ranch. Sam.

52. favorite font? Anything that looks fancy and sarcastic

53. what is the current state of your hands? Need to be washed.

54. what did you learn from your first job? The world is cruel and bad things happen without warning

55. favorite fairy tale? Uh....the Pied Piper?

56. favorite tradition? when my family visits for Christmas, eating lots of traditional Chinese food with them

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Heartbreak. Staggering rejection from the field I majored in. Probably a lot of body image struggles in there as well

58. four talents you’re proud of having? Writing, futbol, adaptability, flexibility. I think the last two are just traits but I don’t have a lot of talents I can invest in

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Let’s make like a baby and head out

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? No idea

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? Though we are far apart, our spirits share the same earth and the same sky

62. seven characters you relate to? Bilbo Baggins from The Hobbit, Data from The Goonies, Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter, Eliza Thornberry from The Wild Thornberries, Raven from Teen Titans, Isaac from Teen Wolf

63. five songs that would play in your club? ANYTHING by Within Temptation. I wouldn’t be a good club owner. The catchy and pump-up songs from Hamilton.

64. favorite website from your childhood? Wasn’t allowed much computer time. I was allowed to visit educational sites and occasionally the Disney site

65. any permanent scars? some self-harm scars. Probably the one on my right leg that I got from CO parks and wildlife. I stepped on a barbed wire fence that had been plastered to the ground, but the metal sprang up when I stepped on it and ripped through my skin

66. favorite flower(s)? Plumerias

67. good luck charms? I’m not sure if I have any.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? earthworm flavor from Bertie Bott’s every flavor beans

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? uh...Something about not being able to spray silly string on Halloween in Hollywood

70. left or right handed? Right handed

71. least favorite pattern? wtf

72. worst subject? anything math related, I really struggled in GIS.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? I...have no idea

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? 2. I’m a baby

75. when did you lose your first tooth? I was 6

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? chips and fries

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? a succulent

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? sushi from a grocery store, the quality can surprise you

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? Both are terrible

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? I hate bugs

82. pc or console? PC

83. writing or drawing? Writing, I’m terrible at drawing

84. podcasts or talk radio? Not into either

84. barbie or polly pocket? I had both

85. fairy tales or mythology? God!!!! Like hearing about both but mythology I guess

86. cookies or cupcakes? Cookies

87. your greatest fear? Being forgotten. I also have a terrible, horrible fear of drowning

88. your greatest wish? In the times I’ve struggled I often find myself wishing for peace. Not only for myself, but for others to easily feel peace with everyone else

89. who would you put before everyone else? Sierra

90. luckiest mistake? Mistake? There’s been lucky accidents but I don’t think any of my mistakes have been lucky

91. boxes or bags? It depends on what I’m packing and where I’m going

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Sunlight

93. nicknames? T, Tear, Tear-tear, T-Dog, Miss T..a few of my recent favorites from soccer: Ronaldinha and Thierry Chun

94. favorite season? Fall! Shit, especially in New England

95. favorite app on your phone? I don’t know

96. desktop background? A picture of a simple dock leading out to sea

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? My parents’ and brother’s

98. favorite historical era? Victorian era, for sure

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blankdblank · 6 years

Text

Tempted to do another prompt request

Don’t know why, just curious if anyone wanted to request some prompts. Got a compilation of lists i’ve seen on here before I glance through randomly sometimes for ideas for my other rambles and series.

Mostly do

Hobbit/LotR - Modern au/regular

Marvel - Mostly Loki w/ others thrown in

Celebs - Richard Armitage, Lee Pace w/ Hobbit cast thrown in, Tom Hiddleston, Tom Holland w/ various Marvel actors thrown in

You can add in scenarios or random items or locations if you like too.

It can also be y/n style if you want, otherwise i’ll probably use a variant of my usual oc to put it all together. :D

Prompt List

1 “Fancy seeing you here.” “I work here.”

2 “Can I buy you a drink?”

5 “If I go through with this, I die. If I don’t, we all die.”

6 “No, no, you do NOT want me navigating. I’ll accidentally navigate us off a cliff.”

7 “Is that blood?” “No?” “That’s not a question you’re supposed to answer with another question.”

8 “This is all your fault.” “I hope so.”

9 “I’d rather be pecked to death by a flock of hummingbirds.”

10 “You have no power over me.” “You sure about that?”

11 “Hold on, you died.” “Yeah, well it didn’t stick.”

12 “Excuse me! I was a superhero for ten whole minutes!” “And in that time you got kidnapped and we had to come to the rescue”

13 “I am way too sober for this.”

14 “You’re not as evil as people think you are.” “No. I’m much worse.”

15 “Why do you keep risking your life? To prove a point?” “Yes.”

16 “That’s disgusting. You’re lucky you’re cute.”

17 “This plan of yours is going to get us killed. Of course, I’m in.”

18 “Can you please go be stupid somewhere that’s away from me?”

19 “Stop that!” “Stop what?” “Doing that thing with your face when you’re happy. It’s making me nauseous.”

20 “You can’t just turn into a bat and fly away when you don’t want to deal with things!” “Watch me!”

21 “Wait, you’re a superhero?” “How do you not know? My face is literally on the news on a weekly basis.” “I’m in grad school. I won’t have time to follow popular media until I finish my thesis. You’re lucky I’ve carved out some non-existent free time to date you.”

22 “I’m just really tired of watching you get thrown off the tops of buildings”

23 “Whether you believe in me or not, I will continue to exist.”

24 “I don’t care where I sleep, as long as it’s with you.”

25 “You’re a psychopath.” “I prefer creative.”

26 “I thought you forgot about me.” “Never.”

27 “I want to go home.” “And I want to go to the moon. It ain’t happening sweetheart. Time to accept that.”

29 “You really have no clue who I am?” “You’d think the confused looks and blank stare would have answered that for you.”

30 “Nope. I can’t go to hell. Satan still has a restraining order against me.”

31 “Well, what can I say? I’m a badass.”

32 “Define normal.”

33 “Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?”

34 “It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.”

35 “And you wonder why you’re still single.”

36 “Remind me to kill you. Please.”

37 “I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.”

38 “Were you dropped on your head?”

39 “She’s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage.”

40 “She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.”

41 “My middle finger salutes you.”

42 “This is a whole new level of moronic, even for you.”

43 “I don’t think I could ever stab someone. I mean, let’s be honest. I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun.”

44 “I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.”

45 “Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”

46 “Oh darling. Go buy a brain.”

47 “Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.”

48 “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

49 “All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.”

50 “I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

51 “Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

52 “What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”

53 “I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

54 “I need therapy after this.”

55 “I’m not weird. I am limited edition.”

56 “I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.”

57 “I think you’re weird.” “I think you’re boring.”

58 “If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur.”

59 “You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?”

60 “I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.”

61 “I’d explain it to you, but you’re brain would explode.”

62 “Wow, there’s a big surprise. I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.”

63 “I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make you ancestors dizzy.”

64 “Even when we were kids, I always kicked your ass!”

65 “Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

66 “Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!”

67 “The female of the species is more deadly than the male.”

68 “Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

69 “She’s hot, but she’s evil.”

70 “Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.”

71 “I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.”

72 “Go on, knock his teeth down his throat.”

73 “What’s the point in screaming? No one’s listening anyway.”

74 “I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.”

75 “So stick that in your juice box and suck it.”

76 “Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.”

77 “This place hold a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some… No. No, no, all bad.”

78 “A little gasoline… blowtorch… no problem.”

79 “Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun.”

80 “I know you can’t kill anybody, ‘cause I can’t kill anybody.”

81 “You’re insane, but you might also be brilliant.”

82 “What you call insanity, I call inspiration.”

83 “Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

84 “Why should we date?” “Because we are attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.”

85 “Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.”

86 “I like you. You’re different.”

87 “You successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.”

88 “You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.”

89 “Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.”

90 “I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

91 “Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

92 “You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.”

93 “I care so little, I almost passed out.”

94 “Well behaved woman rarely make history.”

95 “You’re so weird.” “You have no idea.”

96 “You haven’t even seen my bad side yet.”

97 “Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

98 “How’s life treating you?” “Like I ran over it’s dog.”

99 “Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.”

100 “Oh God, we’re not gonna have to hug or anything, are we.”

101 “I’m so glad you could come.” “Cut the crap. Give me a drink.”

102 “You make no sense to me.” “Welcome to my life.”

103 “Have fun being a big deal.” “I will.”

104 “Damn, you’re strong for a little thing.”

105 “It’s called thinking. Go with it.”

106 “I made a new friend today.” “Real or imaginary?” “Imaginary.”

107 “Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.”

108 “I’m getting real bored and impatient. I don’t do bored and impatient.”

109 “The girl is strange no question.”

110 “Do us a favor… I know it’s difficult for you… but please, stay here, and try no to do anything… stupid.”

111 “I know most people don’t like me; I don’t care, I don’t like most people.”

112 “You are a very strange person.” “Well, thanks for noticing.”

113 “I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but… no.”

114 “I didn’t steal it. I permanently borrowed it.”

115 “I’m not shy. I’m just examining my prey.”

116 “If you pull out my earphones, I will pull out your lungs.”

117 “I don’t dislike you, I nothing you.”

118 “Are you crying? No, I’m impersonating a fountain.”

120 “You’re kinda anti-social, you know that?”

121 “I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.”

122 “I’m just gonna pack up and go straight to hell now.”

123 “My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or baseball bat.”

124 “She’s complicated like the DaVinci code, you know but harder to crack.”

125 “And just like everything else we do around here, it’s about to get weirder.”

126 “Such big evil in such a little thing.”

127 “Why do I still like you, knowing you’re a total asshole?”

128 “What does not kill you will likely try again.”

129 “Oh honey, I would but… I don’t want to.”

130 “And hello to you too… little homewrecker.”

131 “I’m gonna make you wish you were dead.”

132 “I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.”

133 “What doesn’t kill me might make me kill you.”

134 “In another life, I think I was in a mental institution.”

135 “I’m not crazy. I’m just interesting.”

136 “Don’t make me pop your ten grand sand bags honey.”

137 “This is fun.” “Seriously, we’re trying to hide a body.”

138 “If you touch my food, I’ll have no choice but to hurt you.”

139 “I found this cat. It doesn’t matter how exactly I found it, but we’re keeping it.”

140 “When I was a child, I wanted to be a fire hydrant because I wanted to help people. Well, it was a real let down when my mother told me that being an inanimate object wasn’t a valid option.”

141 “There’s not a single day in my life when I haven’t been thoroughly humiliated and it’s too late to change now.”

142 “Unfortunately, my tears of joy and tears of sadness are not so easy to tell apart.”

143 “Sex dream? About you? Nah…it was about, uh, my uncle!”

144 “How did I break my leg? Well, it’s a long story.”

145 “The punch was out of love. For myself.”

146 “I can 100 percent fall down those stairs without getting hurt.”

147 “You act like I’ve never been lost in a foreign country before.”

148 “I always knew I’d be digging my own grave, I just never expected it would be digging a literal grave.”

149 “I did not eat the cookies. I’ve never even seen a cookie in my life.”

150 “Closets are my mortal enemy. And snakes.”

151 “I am wearing your clothes but not for the reason you think I am.”

152 “I’m trapped under the bed again.” “What do you mean ‘again’?”

153 “I shouldn’t have to tell you not to eat that.”

154 “I’m no longer permitted to enter the city zoo because I ‘allegedly’ don’t understand boundaries.”

155 “I didn’t eat your chocolate bar–Oh, I have chocolate on my face? In that case, it attacked me.”

156 “They told me not to take that selfie in the emergency room but now I have a great profile pic for Halloween!”

157 “I’m not saying I’d fight a child, I’m merely saying my legs are longer, my arms are stronger, and my brain is superior.”

158 “I’ve never been to Japan until today, but I have no idea how I got here.”

159 “We rock, paper, scissors-ed it and I played fire. I won in principle, but lost in morality.”

160 “Trains are fun until you’re fighting the conductor.”

161 “The first time I saw the ocean I cried, but that’s mostly because I was choking on seawater.”

162 “There is no sign in the library that says no birds so how was I to know.”

163 “The chokehold was out of love. Why can’t you see that?”

164 “I know the police.” “What? You know all the police?” “Well, it’s more like they know me.”

165 “I thought I could do parkour, nay, believed but my faith is weak and my body weaker.”

166 “I only got stuck in a baby swing once. The other two times I managed to get myself out before the fire department arrived.”

167 “Elbows and knees. That’s the fight club motto.” “No, it’s really not.”

168 “I don’t get lost. I take the long way.”

169 “There’s a snake in my boot. No, I’m serious. Why is there a snake in my boot?”

170 “My doctor told me chocolate syrup is not an actual beverage. The more you know, huh?”

171 “I don’t fall in love. I faceplant.”

172 “If you try to high five a police officer, they will taze you.”

173 “I can do the splits but not on purpose.”

174 “I am the ruler of pigeons now. I didn’t know I was even a candidate, but here we are.”

175 “To be fair, I’m surprised I didn’t break more fingers.”

176 “Who knew bear traps were that common?”

177 “I will run away with you.”

178 “I am never coming back.”

179 “I forget time and space when I’m with you.”

180 “I don’t belong in your universe.”

181 “I’m dynamite ready to explode.”

182 “I don’t know where you’ve gone. It’s like you aren’t here anymore.”

183 “We are in this together – for better or for worse, do you hear me? I’m not giving up that easily.”

184 “You don’t even have to hold me, and I still feel safe with you.”

187 “Everything you think I need isn’t what I need. What I need is you.”

188 “I always come back to you.”

189 “You have to keep fighting.”

191 “I’m begging you. Please.”

192 “I need you to let me all the way in.”

193 “This was all just a game to you… wasn’t it?”

194 “I will give you heaven and I will give you hell.”

195 “Please, be gentle with me. I’ll break if you aren’t careful enough.”

196 “I promise I’ll be tender.”

197 “I can assure you that you are safe here… with me.”

198 “It is my duty to take care of you, so stop forcing me away.”

199 “Never trust a man whose smile steals the breath right from your lungs.”

200 “Take it – I don’t care. Take it all!”

201 “I’ll feel much better if you let me walk you home.”

202 “You make me feel things that I’m not supposed to feel. Why? Why do you have this control over me? You’ve taken over most of my thoughts. It’s infuriating.”

203 “Would you look at that? Anger does fuel me.”

204 “I don’t even remember the last time I got a decent amount of sleep. I’m hallucinating things, I can’t focus for more than five minutes… I’m going crazy.”

205 “You were always beside me.”

206 “What happened to us? To you? I miss it.”

207 “There is no good in goodbye.”

208 “Say it again.”

209 “You look happy. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the reason for it.”

210 “Sometimes we get hurt and we just have to find a way to overcome it, and sometimes… sometimes it’s not enough to heal the wounds.”

211 “You’ll understand. You have to.”

212 “You lit a fire in my veins ever since the first time we held hands.”

213 “Don’t stop.”

215 “I don’t care! I don’t!”

216 “There are times I can drink the pain away, but this time it’s become impossible.”

217 “This pain… it’s still fresh. Give me time.”

218 “Your memory will burn like a fire.”

219 “It just keeps spreading and spreading and spreading and I can’t stop it.”

220 “I won’t ever forget you.”

221 “I think I’m losing myself, and I don’t know if I can ever come back from this.”

222 “I prefer being alone.”

223 “To see you smile, I would do anything.”

224 “If you’re reading this then that means… that means I didn’t make it. I’m sorry.”

225 “Fuck, I wish I could give you one more kiss, to feel your warmth, to see you smile… I miss you so much.”

226 “Don’t go too far, alright? I wanna be able to catch up to you, just give me time.”

227 “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there.”

228 “You stood up for me.”

229 “You keep giving me excuses, what’s your problem?”

230 “Always be kind.”

231 “You’re so warm.”

232 “Oh my god! That was so not funny. These are fake tears, and that was sarcasm.”

233 “Damn damn diggity damn.”

234 “Daddy.”

235 “Run me over with your car.”

236 “Ew. Emotions.”

237 “I’m sorry, was I supposed to laugh?”

238 “Stab me. No, seriously. Stab me.”

239 “That’s so stupid. Please, do it again.”

240 “But I’m not her.”

241 “I need you to see yourself as I do.”

242 “Breathe.”

243 “What are you running from? Why are you so scared?”

244 “Let’s do something spontaneous!”

245 “I can still feel every little kiss you pressed to my cheek.”

246 “I need to be closer to you.”

247 “It’s feels like I’m suffocating.”

248 “This will be the last time you lie to me.”

249 “You know it’s not like that.”

250 “How could you think this wouldn’t hurt me?”

251 “You’re never going to be the same after this.”

252 “I just think it’d be best if we never met.”

253 “I can’t believe you would even think to leave me like this.”

254 “You never loved me, did you?”

255 “It didn’t have to be like this, but now you’ve ruined everything.”

256 “I hope you’re happy.”

257 “If you had have kept your mouth shut, then he’d still- he’d still be here!”

258 “What did you want once this was all through? Tell me!”

259 “Now I have to deal with the consequences of your actions. Thanks, it means a lot.”

260 “You could’ve- could’ve stayed. You could’ve helped me fix things.”

261 “I knew she’d never change, she was too stubborn, too similar to me.”

262 “This isn’t going to be fixed. You’ve ruined this for good now.”

263 “I hope I’m not put in the same part of hell as you.”

264 “When did you think you could hurt me again? Today? Tomorrow?”

265 “You’re back in my life and I want to die again.”

266 “You only ever brought me pain and I’m sick of it.”

267 “I hope you got what you wanted.”

268 “You made me miserable and I still loved you.”

269 “When you die, I’ll be the first to dance on your grave.”

270 “Don’t underestimate me, I have more power than you can even comprehend.”

271 “If only you knew what you’d brought upon yourself.”

272 “We’re never going to have a happy ending, just remember that.”

273 “Everytime something goes well, I momentarily forget how much I despise you.”

274 “Don’t pretend like you’re not happy to see me like this.”

275 “There is nothing worse than seeing you get what you want.”

276 “Your mind must be a horrible place.”

277 “You can cut me, bruise me and skin me alive, but you will not take her from me.”

278 “How is it that we always end up in this predicament?”

279 “I want to wipe that grin of your face with my sword, but my mother taught me to play nicely.”

280 “Did anyone ever tell you how pathetic you are? It’s incredible how low my standards are for you.”

281 “Ah, well if you want them back alive, I suggest you lay down your own life.”

282 “Don’t be ‘smart’. The battlefield is no place for Math Scholars.”

283 “You shouldn’t have come. You can’t be-”

284 “Stop talking or tomorrow won’t come.”

285 “Hand me the gun and I’ll kill him myself.”

286 “I shouldn’t care for your life, but I’m starting to and it’s becoming an inconvenience.”

287 “If you live to see her, please send my best regards and this box of her father’s ashes.”

288 “It would’ve been nice to get to know you better, but I’m afraid I don’t care.”

289 “I can’t help but think you’re a terrible person.”

290 “Seeing your face has unconventionally made me want to die. I wasn’t quite prepared for this feeling.”

291 “You could have loved me, I’m quite good at seducing, but you’re actually vile.”

292 “I hope I see you in a bodybag sometime.”

293 “Let’s pretend you didn’t cheat on me with my sister and be good people for a few minutes.”

294 “We should probably stop talking forever.”

295 “If I hated you anymore, I think I’d probably be crowned as satan’s right-hand man.”

296 “To say I ‘tolerate you’ is a vast overstatement.”

297 “You broke her heart and came back for more, you bastard.”

298 “This isn’t fifth grade, this is a courtroom, you whore.”

299 “I think you’d be the perfect match for my ex-husband. He loved to sleep with multiple people.”

300 “I’m not coming home, don’t look for me.”

301 “Time was always a measurement of this relationship and we finally ran out.”

302 “Please don’t look at me with such hatred.”

303 “I could’ve died and you couldn’t have cared less.”

304 “Just get out. I- I don’t want you hear, just leave.”

305 “You’re not the same person I married, don’t tell me I’m wrong.”

306 “I wish you wouldn’t beg for forgiveness, it has the opposite effect of what you want.”

307 “Don’t hate me for this. You would’ve done the same.”

308 “This could’ve been the end and you were ready to let me go.”

309 “You should’ve left me, you could never deserve the person I’ve become.”

310 “Hate me all you want. I know I’m right.”

311 “Today you broke my arm, I hope tomorrow it’s not my heart.”

312 “Nothing can justify this, you’ve ruined him.”

313 “You live with so much guilt, I hope it drives you mad one of these days.”

314 “My life was ruined because of one mistake. You were that mistake.”

315 “You are everything I hate, don’t ever come back.”

316 “Evil doesn’t come close.”

317 “Your wrongdoings are becoming your pastimes.”

318 “I wish you had of just done it for the thrill of it, but now you’re in deep shit.”

319 “Next time, I won’t be here to salvage your wreckage. This is the last time.”

320 “You should have ruined me when you had the chance.”

321 “No one will keep your name alive. Once you’re gone, everything you once stood for disappears too.”

322 “Don’t pretend you haven’t thought about your life without me.”

323 “This is always how it ends.”

324 “Break my heart once more, I dare you.”

325 “Forget how you loved me once, I mean nothing now.”

326 “This isn’t Romeo and Juliet, this is real life and I can go on without you.”

327 “You don’t own me, I don’t belong to you.”

328 “I should’ve died. That would’ve made you happy.”

329 “Are we going to carry on like this or are you going to give him back to me.”

330 “She drowned and he lost his mind.”

321 “We shouldn’t. You’re married and I’m pregnant.”

332 “You’ve never been loved, I can tell.”

333 “Who told you I needed fixing and what made you believe them?”

334 “You’re almost as far-gone as I am.”

335 “Maybe it’s best that we don’t go home.”

336 “Roaming the streets was never safe for her. What makes you think it’s different for you?”

337 “I think you’re going to ruin me. Am I right?”

338 “Do you remember our last feud? I wouldn’t want someone to lose their life again, would you?”

339 “Kiss me quick and leave them be.”

340 “I hate seeing you so sad. It’s just so dramatic how humans show emotions and being sad is such a boring one.”

341 “Will you ever forget my number? No? Ah, because you still love me.”

342 “After the funeral, let’s surrender.”

343 “What made you think I cared for you?”

344 “It’ll be fun explaining this to your sister. I hope she likes horror stories.”

345 “Don’t act as if we’re friends. I know how much you want to slit my throat.”

346 “Let’s not get angry. Let’s calmly and sensibly take this outside so I can ruin your face.”

347 “Please ruin yourself for me and I’ll watch in adoration as I fall apart as well.”

Already requested – but still requestable

3 “Right now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge” “Can I pick?”

4 “You know what they say, panicking burns a shit-ton of calories.” “Who even says that?” “Me. Just now.”

28 “Sometimes, memories are the worst torture.”

119 “Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. That’s cute.”

185 “Be with me.”

186 “I’m vulnerable around you, and it only gets worse when you smile.”

190 “I’m surrendering myself to you; body and soul. What more do you want?”

214 “Please, just… touch me.”

348 “Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?” “Yes.” “What if I break his nose a little?”

349 “Show me your scars.” “But… why?” “I want to see how many times you needed me and I wasn’t there.”

350 “She’s my best friend. That hasn’t changed.” “It’s clear your feelings for her has.”

351 “Did you just… agree with me?” “Oh, I wish I could take-““Nope! You said it! No take-backs!”

352 “I think I’m having a feeling. How do I make it stop?”

353 “Don’t mind me, I’ll just be in the corner having another existential crisis.”

354 “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!” “And I’m trying to subtly avoid it!”

355 “You don’t strike me as a professional criminal.” “That’s what makes me so good at it.”

356 “It’s a good thing you’re cute when you’re angry.”

357 “What are you afraid of?” “You.”

358 “I don’t give a damn.” “You give so many damns they’re visible from SPACE.”

359 “It’s a long story” “You conned me into thinking you were dead for eleven months. I have time.”

360 “Unless I screw this up again, I’m going to marry you.” “Well you better not mess this up”

361 “Hey, I didn’t kill anyone today!” “What do you want? A gold star.”

362 “I feel like I’m being stabbed.” “How do you even know what it feels like to be stabbed?”

363 “What now?” “I don’t know. I thought the jump would kill us.”

364 “I saved your life.” “You pushed me off a building.”

365 “How do we keep getting into these situations?” “Eleven years of friendship and I still don’t know.”

366 “We’re leaving.” “But they have a lobster tank in their basement.”

367 “Take my hand.” “Why?” “I’m trying to ask you to marry me, so take my damn hand!”

368 “You look…” “Beautiful, I know. Can we move on?”

369 “I’m fine.” “You don’t look fine.” “Then stop looking.”

370 “You gotta stop doing that.” “What?” “Saying things that make me wanna kiss you.”

371 “I think that you’re not as dark as you want people to believe.”

372 “I hate you.” “Why? I’m lovely.”

373 “Why are they afraid of you?”

374 “Literally everything about this is illegal.”

375 “You love her don’t you?” “Was it that obvious?”

376 “Why me?” “Because you saw me when I was invisible.”

377 “I was just kind of hoping that you’d, y’know…. fall in love with me.”

378 “It’s okay. You don’t have to love me.”

379 “You know, no one bothered me this much when I was dead.”

380 “Only a fool would fall in love with someone as deadly as me.”

381 “I’d know that smirk anywhere.”

382 “I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.”

383 “Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.”

384 “Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

385 “If my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having an exchange program.”

386 “If I survive, can I go home?”

387 “That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?”

388 “You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.”

389 “You’re good. A monster pain in the ass… but you’re good.”

390 “Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

391 “The universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got a hell of a sense of humor.”

392 “My advice is much more subtle. Stop being an ass.”

#Prompt Request

9 notes · View notes

femsff · 6 years

Note

4, 8, 11, 13, 23, 30, 34, 38 :)

Oooh, awesome! Thanks.

I’ve included already answered ones below.

A Writer’s Ask Game

agwitow:

Send me an ask with the number(s) you’d like me to answer!

The Basics1. Do you listen to music when you write?2. Are you a pantser or plotter?

Started out as a pantser but after a few fic, I decided to give plotting a try. Am now a fully committed plotter.

3. Computer or pen and paper?

Definitely computer. My fingers tend to cramp up even when I write a little bit and when I write a page or so in a notebook (I often carry a notebook with me when I go somewhere but don’t want to drag the laptop with me), about 3/4th of it illegible to anyone who isn’t me. In a way, that’s a good thing I suppose considering some of my smuttier fics, but overall it’s just a pain. And I always get disappointed when I get around to typing out the notes because it looks like a lot more when written out!

4. Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?

No, I have never been published. Maybe one day I’ll try my hand at it, but right now I don’t feel like my writing is “good enough” yet. No idea for an original novel either.

5. How much writing do you get done on an average day?6. Single or multiple POV?7. Standalone or series?8. Oldest WIP

Oldest WIP I’ve written for or does plotting also count? If it’s just written, then it’s probably my abandoned Down the Rabbit Hole (FFnet | AO3). I just... got stuck. And it was so incredibly frustrating and really stopped me from enjoying anything fic-related that I finally just said to hell with it and dropped it. I just checked and I stopped working on it in 2013... I still have the outline and everything though, so who knows?

9. Current WIP10. Do you set yourself deadlines?

The Specifics11. Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

To be honest, I have no idea. I don’t know, maybe I’m rare but I’ve never been one of those people who held specific authors up as their ideal. I used to read a lot of books (nowadays less so, because 1) am adult and have to adult and 2) because I read fanfic and often would rather write my own fic than read a book) and have some favorites (all fiction) but nothing that really stands out.

12. Describe your perfect writing space13. Describe your writing process from idea to polished

Hahaha! Are you sure you want to know?

Okay, so I get an idea. Often when I’m half asleep/dozing, in the shower or just doing something mindlessly. The ideas are usually specific scenes that I can see play out in my head, but occasionally it’s just a conversation/some dialogue. If I like it, I’ll try to force more by really focusing on it. If the muse wishes it, that tends to work. I’m rarely super excited about an idea that I’ll start working on it right away, and prefer to let it roll around for a while. See if it keeps popping up and more details are added. If it’s worth my time and energy, I suppose.

Once that happens, I’ll start writing down notes. I use OneNote to organize my fic ideas/plotting and have one notebook that’s simply for ideas; one section per idea and depending on the idea, it’ll just be a stream of consciousness (often peppered with questions for myself) or a bit more organized in different pages. Again, depending on how excited I am about the idea, this can be done in a day or it can take weeks/months where I’ll occasionally add some info.

Then, when I feel like I want to work on it some more, I’ll start to delve into the details. When is it set? What’s the beginning, middle and end? Which events do I want include but have no idea where yet? Is there specific dialogue or are there actions I want to maybe include at one point? If it’s an AU, AR or AT, I’ll start working on the differences from canon (who is in it, what’s their role, how does it deviate from canon). How long do I think this fic will be? I need to set a max number of chapters for myself, otherwise the story will just keep growing and I’ll keep adding stuff and in the end it’ll read like I just came up with more and more stuff simply so I wouldn’t have to end the story, rather than telling the story I wanted to tell in the beginning.

Anyway, I start creating pages for the chapters and fill in the few things I already know. At this point I often also involve my beta and discuss the fic idea with her. Everything from that conversation goes into the ‘brainstorm’ section and I’ll work on the questions and suggestions that arose during the conversation. Then, I’ll start focusing on filling up the chapters with general outlines. That can be anything from “scene 1 Sam telling Jack (Sam pov); scene 2 introspection about changes (Jack pov)” to a paragraphed summary or even a scene completely written out. Sometimes it’s just “some shippy stuff here”, to let me know that at one point I need to lighten it up or bring them closer together. I go over all the chapter pages that way, but don’t necessarily fill them all out. I also make one page with a chapter overview, which is usually the numbered chapters with one or two lines about the content so I can see in one quick glance which things need working on.

More thinking on the fic idea, sometimes even when sleeping and brainstorming with the beta usually follows, which in turn results in adding more details. The chapter pages get more specifics or maybe a “don’t forget to mention [character]” or “now [# weeks] pregnant, mention that/include symptoms”. Also, depending on the story idea, I might need to do research. That can be canon/fanon stuff, but also scientific stuff, maybe a different language, create background information for original/rarely used canonical characters, timeline, locations, RL world events, and so on. That also gets included in the notebook and, at some point, added to the relevant chapter.

Once my outlining is done and I feel comfortable to start writing, I tend to just create a master document and start writing. Now, that’s not to say my whole outline is complete or that it’s something I must strictly adhere to. Additions and changes are made all the time, sometimes I’ll get stuck or realize a scene doesn’t work the way I envisioned it or the beta tells me something is missing. So, I go back to the notes and work on it. Then I go back to the fic and write, write, write.

Oh and I usually ask the beta to go over a chapter once I’ve finished writing it (or, if I’m stuck in a scene, I’ll ask her to look at it right away) and then I’ll go over the feedback, make changes, possibly discuss some of the things she mentioned, do some more editing and then I’ll go to the next chapter and write some more.

14. How do you deal with self-doubts?15. How do you deal with writer’s block?16. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?17. What writing habits or rituals do you have?

Hmm. I’m not sure? I do know that when I’m stuck I tend to make a fruit salad or get snacks out in the hopes of it resulting in the required brainpower to keep going.

18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?19. How do you keep yourself motivated?20. How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

The Favourites21. Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?22. Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?23. Favourite author

I don’t think I really have a favorite author... I don’t like non-fiction, I always read fiction and often thrillers. Some of the books I always order and often reread are ones by Jilliane Hoffman and Ingrid Black.

As for fic, see my favorites/bookmarks on my profile on FFnet/AO3.

24. Favourite genre to write and read25. Favourite part of writing

Ooh, difficult to choose. I really love doing the research and plotting, but I think the best part of writing is ending up with the story you imagined before you even ‘put pen to to paper’. Also, managing to convey the emotions through the writing - like when a reader comments with how they also teared up, they had to stop reading a few times to catch their breath/get a grip on their emotions or were just overwhelmed by it all. That’s pretty neat.

26. Favourite writing program27. Favourite line/scene28. Favourite side character29. Favourite villain30. Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet

I have quite a few fic ideas I haven’t started writing yet. Not sure I can choose one. But one that I’ve had for a long time, like ~6 years, and even started writing on (but then discarded that because it wasn’t a good opening) is for Woman In Blue. It’s a first-person fic, a style I actually kinda hate and would probably back-button right away if I saw one of my favorite authors use in a new fic... anyway, it’s Mark Carter in first person, writing about Sam (and to a smaller extent, Jack) and all the things he learned about her life after her death - she and Jack died in a blaze of glory, defending Earth against a Replicator attack that also prompted Disclosure.

The Dark31. Least favourite part of writing32. Most difficult character to write33. Have you ever killed a main character?34. What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

There are so many scenes I’ve struggled with, most recently in Unmade Plans (chapter 8 specifically, that one really was a fight and I’ve rewritten it probably a dozen times) but the hardest was probably the Sam/Klorel scene in Only the Stubborn Survive. Those of you who’ve read the fic will know which scene I mean.

35. What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

The Fun36. Last sentence you wrote37. First sentence or your current WIP38. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

I’m not quite sure. A lot of them start out as weird ideas! The end result as you see them are soooo different. Maybe Consequences of Being Touched, because there were quite a few risque scenes in there?

39. Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had40. Share some backstory for one of your characters

The Rest of It41. Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?42. How do you feel about love triangles?43. What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

It depends on the situation and the outline. I’ve thrown outlines out of the window at times because something else turned out to work much better once you actually reach that point in your story, but I’ve also rewritten a scene a dozen times before I got it exactly the way I wanted it in the outline.

44. How much research do you do?45. How much world building do you do?46. Do you reread your own stories?47. Best way to procrastinate48. What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?49. Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?50. [Other question—ask me anything]

Well, those were fun but also tricky! Guess I shouldn’t have skimmed the list before rb’ing, haha. No just kidding, I loved answering them. Thanks!

#writer's ask game #writing #fanfiction #me #rl #thank you for playing #london88blog

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formerlyjannafaye · 6 years

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100 Questions

I was tagged by @janes-mike and @el-and-hop and @caseyk112 like 100 years ago and I just finished it now! Oops.

1. What is your nickname? Janaynay, Fayzers, Jan

2. How old are you? 31

3. What is your birth month? February

4. What is your zodiac sign? Aquarius

5. What is your favorite color? Rainbow

6. What’s your lucky number? 2

7. Do you have any pets? not at the moment

8. Where are you from? Canada

9. How tall are you? 5′4

10. What shoe size are you? 8

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? this is so embarassing, I probably own like 35 pairs of shoes (but in my defense, we experience extremes in all 4 seasons during the year) and I am a shoe addict.

12. Are you random? sometimes? but not really.

13. Last person you texted? my dad

14. Are you psychic in any way? i feel like i am really good at reading people and i have a really good memory when it comes to people so maybe a little?

15. Last TV show watched? New Girl

16. Favorite movie? Hard question! ET, Get Over It, Moulin Rouge

17. Favorite show from your childhood? Mr. Dressup!

18. Do you want children? I have one! I’d like one more, I think.

19. Do you want a church wedding? I had one.

20. What is your religion? I am a Christian, which I almost hate to say because Christians are represented so badly today and I am ashamed of this group so often. To clarify, I think Jesus is the bomb and so I try to emulate how he treated people. I’m also a feminist, pro marriage equality, pro choice, pro creation care/caring for the environment, I believe in science, I don’t believe in hell, and I hate violence. So...do with all that what you will.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes, I go there a lot with my work.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? I literally sweat when a cop car passes me and I’m a goody two shoes, so no! Haha

23. How is life? Its alright. I am really tired today which always affects my mood negatively. And I just watched Infinity War last night so I’m depressed, y’all. (edit: can you tell I started this over a week ago LOL)

24. Baths or showers? Showers (you could not pay me to get into a bath! germs!)

25. What color socks are you wearing? none, its too warm out

26. Have you ever been famous? Once I met the guy who won Canadian Idol and my local grocery store put up a picture of us together in the store and had it up for years. Haha!

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? I used to really want to be famous, but celebs get a horrible deal these days. They have no privacy and our world thinks they owe us everything and really they owe us nothing so I would never ever want to be famous. I like being able to look like crap daily and not have it in magazines.

28. What type of music do you like? I like a wide variety of music, the only music I don’t like, really, is misogynistic rap and country. I am a choral and accapella music nerd, I love it so much.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Yup.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two.

31. What position do you usually sleep in? On my side with my top leg thrown over so I’m in a weird stomach/side position but its sooo comfy.

32. How big is your house? Its a good size! Big enough for us and then to host people that come to visit us and our yard is huge!

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? I suck at breakfast...toast or a granola bar.

34. Have you ever left the country? I have been to Germany, South Africa, Cuba, Costa Rica and the USA.

35. Have you ever tried archery? Many years ago at summer camp.

36. Do you like anyone? Well I’m married, so yes.

37. Favorite swear word? Shit. It is sooo satisfying to say.

38. When do you fall asleep? WAY too late every night. Between midnight and 2 am.

39. Do you have any scars? Yeah I have some from when I had the chickenpox as a kid and had no self control and scratched them off.

40. Sexual orientation? Straight.

41. Are you a good liar? I think I am a horrible liar, because I value authenticity so much and lying makes me anxious.

42. What languages would you like to learn? I would love to learn Spanish since its so beautiful. Really I just would love to not only speak English!

43. Top 10 songs? Oh my! What a question! Imma be safe and just say the top 10 songs I am listening to most often right now: Fall in Line by Christina Aguilera ft Demi Levato, Don’t Go Breaking My Heart by BSB, Lost in Japan by Shawn Mendes, Bittersweet Symphony cover by Boyce Avenue, Love You Long Time by Pentatonix, Dive by Ed Sheeran, Nancy Mulligan by Ed Sheeran, New Rules cover by Pentatonix, Casanova by Allie X, Gravity by Sara Bareilles.

44. Do you like your country? I do! I am mad at our leader rn, and appalled that Ontario elected a Donald Trump wannabe as a premier (like WHY HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING ONTARIO PERSONS UGH) but overall I love being Canadian.

45. Do you have friends from the web? Yes! Its the best!

46. What is your personality type? I am an ESFP, an extrovert with introvert tendancies, and I am an enneagram 4 (seriously, google it. That is me to a T).

47. Hogwarts House? Hufflepuff 4 LYFE

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yes.

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? I am Anne from Anne of Green Gables, just not as smart. Just as dramatic and short tempered, though.

50. Left or right handed? Right

51. Are you scared of spiders? I don’t like them or want them near me.

52. Favorite food? Chocolate. Chips and Dip. Dill pickles.

53. Favorite foreign food? I love Mexican food so much I can’t even pick one thing. Also naan bread is the BOMB especially when dipped into dal makhani. Uuuuuuugggghh I wanna eat that so bad rn.

54. Are you a clean or messy person? I am pretty clean, messiness makes me crazy.

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? Pee standing up, see what its like to not have to deal with bathroom lines, street harassment, etc.

56. What color underwear? Grey.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 20 mins, but usually longer because I don’t like to be rushed so I take my time.

58. Do you have much of an ego? I don’t think so? I’m a walking pile of insecurities.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? I used to bite them but I have TMJ and my jaw is a piece of garbage that cannot withstand biting anything hard without popping all out of place and pain. Fun times.

60. Do you talk to yourself? Yup.

61. Do you sing to yourself? CONSTANTLY.

62. Are you a good singer? I have a pretty decent voice.

63. Biggest Fears? Losing people I love, dying, clowns, bats, cockroaches

64. Are you a gossip? I like being in the know but I don’t like pettiness. That said I sometimes find I have to focus REALLY hard to bite my tongue.

65. Are you a grammar nazi? Absolutely.

66. Do you have long or short hair? Its too long! I need a haircut.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Maybe? I might forget a few. The real question is can any of my American friends name the Canadian provinces (the CAN equivalent of states? I DOUBT IT yet we learn the states in school. SMH)

68. Favorite school subject? English and French

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Intoverted extrovert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nope and I don’t plan on it.

71. What makes you nervous? Rooms full of people that don’t like me, small spaces, driving in winter.

72. Are you scared of the dark? Less than I used to be, but I don’t like it.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? I do daily but thats because I have a toddler and teaching/correction is important in some moments. But you also have to let them fail which is challenging to do.

74. Are you ticklish? Nope. Only my sister can tickle me and its so annoying when she does!

75. Have you ever started a rumor? Not that I can recall?

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? Yeah a few times

77. Have you ever drank underage? I don’t think so, I was 18 by the time I drank anything, I think.

78. Have you ever done drugs? No drugs scare the living crap out of me.

79. What do you fantasize about? Having more time to myself, living alone like a hermit and not having to work, having perfect hair every day, having another kid, living somewhere warm, saying snarky things to my MIL’s face.

80. How many piercings do you have? None.

81. Can you roll your R’s? Yes.

82. How fast can you type? Fast-ish if I’m on a roll but I don’t use the proper hand technique. I get by though.

83. How fast can you run? Run? Moi? HAHAHAHA

84. What color is your hair? Ash brown with a faded rainbow in the back.

85. What color are your eyes? Green.

86. What are you allergic to? Winter mold. Spring is the worst. And I can’t go barefoot on grass unless I want to have itchy swollen feet that I want to scratch off forever.

87. Do you keep a journal? I have one that I’m supposed to write a line a day in but I am the WORST at it. Once I get behind I get so unmotivated.

88. Are you depressed about anything? I feel like I’m sleep walking through my life sometimes, and depression takes away my ability to care enough to be motivated to do anything about it. I swear apathy is the worst side effect of depression for me!

89. Do you like your age? It is honestly the best. I love being 30! I care less about the insecurities that consumed my life in my early 20s. I have more body confidence . I’m more secure financially than I’ve been at any point in my life. And I still feel youngish. Haha.

90. What makes you angry? White privilege, misogyny, Canadian and American politics, Christian people who don’t act loving and don’t seem bothered by it, when people don’t return their shopping carts in parking lots, when people can help others but don’t, cancer, narcissists.

91. Do you like your own name? I have always loved my name. I only know one other person with my name who spells it like me!

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? Odd question, no.

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? I have a boy, and if I ever get the opportunity to have another kid I kinda hope its a girl. I’m really close with my mom so I always imagined having a daughter to hopefully be close with too. My son is a mini me in every way, though.

94. What talents do you have? I have a semi-photographic memory (so helpful for studying), I learn song lyrics super fast, I can sing any song for you in the correct key it was recorded in (what would you call that? pitch memorization?)

95. Sun or moon? I love sitting in a sunbeam like a cat. But the moon is super comforting to me. Both.

96. How did you get your name? My mom wanted me to have a different name in a sea of Ashley’s and Brittany’s (I was born in the late 80s).

97. Are you religious? My faith is very important to me and relates to all areas of my life, including my job, so yes? But I don’t feel like I need to be in your face about it, that’s not my style.

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? Yes and honestly everyone on the planet could benefit from it! Its the best!

99. Color of your bedspread? White with blue and goldish flowers on it.

100. Color of your room? Light grey.

I feel like everyone already did this but all the same I’m going to tag @earlgreyteagirl, @reddie-to-mileven-it-up, @stevemossington, @maxmayfield and here’s some people who I know already did this but I want you to see my answers haha so here goes @hannahberrie @summer-in-hawkins @jane-el-hopper @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold @thezoomermax @puzzlingsnark @fatechica @mikeweezers

#am i late to the party?#you know it #but running late is my style #sigh #survey

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melimelo-ao3 · 3 years

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Answers to the ask

So this is my answer to every ask of the “A Writer’s Ask Game” by agwitow that I reblogged just below.

Yes, I know, people are supposed to be the ones to send a number, and only then am I supposed to answer. But, since this blog has like, very, very limited interaction, and I had nothing to do, I answered them myself.

And I’m putting a time stamp on it: Wednesday 17/02/2021, because for some questions, in a week, it won’t be the same answer.

The Basics 1. Do you listen to music when you write?

I do, yes. I have a couple of playlists with songs – I know some people enjoy listening to music while they write, but only without any kind of lyrics. I don’t care either way. Some days it’s pre-enregistered playlists, others random, and others just piano.

2. Are you a pantser or plotter?

I’m mostly a plotter. I’ve tried to go pantser on a couple of stories (Pretty Boy is the last example that comes to my mind), but I end up knowing what I’ll put in the next chapters in advance. Even if it’s just the main plot point / scene.

3. Computer or pen and paper?

Computer. Except when I have writer block.

4. Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?

I’ve never been published, and don’t plan on. I write my stories mostly for myself, and to me it’s a bit too over the top to, first, interest a publisher / editor, and then it would need lots of editing and… I don’t think I’m ready yet to see critics on my stories.

5. How much writing do you get done on an average day?

I have no idea xD I suppose I’m happy if I get 1.000 word a day, especially if it’s a day I only concentrate on writing. Sometimes it can be more, but sometimes it can also be nothing at all. On days I have other things to do, I’m happy if I can write one sentence more during the day :)

6. Single or multiple POV?

At the same time? Single. In a story? It depends. Some stories I’ve written in a single POV all along, others I switched between chapters, and others within chapters, with a distinction between the “parts”.

7. Standalone or series?

Um, series as in several “books”? If so, there’s this story I finished last year. At first, it was supposed to be one single book, but things progressed as they did and so I chose to cut the overall, finished epic into three books. So it’s supposedly a series now.

Other than this, I usually cram everything up in one story.

8. Oldest WIP

Oldest oldest? I started a story called L’année scolaire (= School Year) when I was like 10. It’s unfinished, so I suppose I can consider it as a WIP. Other than that, if I’m talking about posted fic, it’s a Harry Potter time-travel fanfic called Une nouvelle chance de vivre (= A New Chance At Living). Same, the fic has maybe ten years now (damn, time flies) and has been untouched for… about ten years I believe xD

9. Current WIP

I have several! On my AO3 profile, there’s Sunkissed (an Achilles x Patroclus Omegaverse ff), The Bravest Belief of All (Amandi) (a Peter Pan x Wendy Darling canon divergence from OUAT) and I Desire You (or worse) (which is an original work with original character that I’ve just started posting) that I update regularly.

There are more on my computer, much more than I can type here…

10. Do you set yourself deadlines?

Not at all. Because I wouldn’t respect them, and it would make me stress.

The Specifics 11. Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

Victor Hugo is the main one that comes to my mind atm. I love the way he writes and what he writes about. There’s Emile Zola’s Au Bonheur des dames, too, which is amazing, one of the best books I know of. And, for the beauty of language and the sheer poetry literally pouring from every single word, Cyrano de Bergerac by Edmond Rostand is. breathtaking. I don’t know if they influenced me, because it sounds a bit pretentious to say that one can find some of these authors in my stories if they look closely, but they definitely represent what I aspire to.

12. Describe your perfect writing space

In a silent room, except there’s music (I know, it’s paradoxical). I have my computer and my head is resting (I mean, I don’t have anything urgent to do, it’s all done and behind me for the day) and I can concentrate on the scene I’ve been imagining for a couple of days / weeks / months / years (pick one).

13. Describe your writing process from idea to polished

Usually I have an idea, I play it in my head over and over again until I really like it and I have a couple of things found out (like, scenes or dialogues or narration – depends if the idea is about a story or just a single scene). Then, I write it. Admittedly, the polishing happens mostly when I play it over and over in my mind until it clicks or sticks.

14. How do you deal with self-doubts?

I usually listen to them, because it means there’s something that’s nagging me about a scene, a moment. So I go reread it, I think back on it – what can I change? How can I formulate it in a different way? – and I change it until I’m satisfied with it.

I experience a (lot) of self-doubt at the moment, with the first three chapters of IDY. I chose to post them, but I’m not entirely sure I’d be ready if people began to hate them or find horrible flaws with them. that makes me doubt whether it was a good idea or not, but I know that I can always delete them if it really goes downhill.

15. How do you deal with writer’s block?

I stop writing. For a couple of days, usually, to let my brain the time to relax and focus on something else. Then, I sit back before my computer and I open another word document – like a blank page. I copy paste the scene I’m stuck on, and I rewrite it under, while using a couple of sentences I feel are good. I repeat the process until the words flow back again.

(This sounds a lot like a cooking recipe xD)

For the real, unbreachable writer’s block (like, if the above didn’t work), I try to focus on other stories. If that doesn’t help kick the inspiration back (like for No, but I do – even though the writer’s block was cemented by GOT’s last season but that’s another matter entirely), I push the story to the back of my mind and I give it up.

16. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?

As many as necessary until I’m satisfied with myself. I can’t give a number.

17. What writing habits or rituals do you have?

I imagine the scene beforehand, I listen to music, I write on computer… I can’t think of any other writing habit I have atm.

18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

I don’t think I could collaborate with anyone, sorry - -’ When I have an idea for a story, I’m excited with writing every single part of it, so I don’t think it’s for me.

19. How do you keep yourself motivated?

With the scenes I want to write.

20. How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

At the moment (meaning the ones brewing in my mind): 11.

The Favourites 21. Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?

It depends with the story. I liked Weston in Pretty Boy (I like him too in I Desire You), and Wendy in Amandi.

22. Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?

Weston/Edmund. They’re my OTP for now.

23. Favourite author

I don’t have a favourite author, I search for fics / stories mostly.

24. Favourite genre to write and read

Romance.

25. Favourite part of writing

I love writing dialogues, especially when the characters continue to talk on their own and I’m just transcribing everything and the conversation ends up very different from what I imagined.

26. Favourite writing program

None, I just write on Word.

27. Favourite line/scene

That’s impossible to choose! xD

On a writing’s perspective only, I’ll say the end part of chapter 3 in I Desire You (or worse). When I reread it and I could feel what the character is feeling / does (I’m being vague on purpose because I haven’t posted it yet), I knew I had to post it somewhere. I don’t know, I’m just really proud of it (and have the most self-doubt over people’s reaction, which is – as always – very logical of me).

28. Favourite side character

In I Desire You, I like Lucy.

29. Favourite villain

I don’t think I’ve ever written many villains. Ah, yes, Peter Pan in my OUAT fic. He’s a villain, it works.

30. Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet

I’ve been beginning a lot of WIP at the moment, precisely so I could start putting down all the ideas I wanted, so I don’t really know what to answer to that…

The Dark 31. Least favourite part of writing

Writing description of settings. I don’t really like how I write those.

32. Most difficult character to write

Edmund. No hesitation.

33. Have you ever killed a main character?

No, and I never intend to. I want my characters to be happy and alive.

34. What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

Chapter 3 of I Desire You? Or maybe the chapter 2.

Or the beginning of Amandi, which depicts the Peter / Fiona relation.

35. What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

Um, none at the moment :)

The Fun 36. Last sentence you wrote

I understand how he feels.

But I’ll probably change it. I’m not sure yet. It’s for IDY.

37. First sentence of your current WIP

Well, I have three, so I’ll put the three.

A frustrated scream would have torn the eerie silence and thunderous sound of waves if Peter had any strength left in him to scream anymore. For Amandi

“Where’re y’all running to?” For IDY

Patroclus’ lip trembled when they pinned the crown to his hair. For Sunkissed.

38. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

Oof, lots. I’ve often imagined confronting two versions of characters. Like, take characters, usually from period pieces or in mindsets that are very patriarchal, and make them see another version of themselves, usually in Omegaverse, in a sort of Harry Potter pensieve or television setting, like they just watch this alternate universe version of themselves as they go on their daily lives. And then I imagine all the ways this character would first be horrified / angered / dismissive of that version of themselves that they’d judge weaker because they’d be Omegas, and then, slowly, they see that they’re really badass and yk worthy of consideration, respect etc. Not just them, but all their mates etc. would too, as well. And then they would come out as this better person, who aren’t as prejudiced as they used to be.

39. Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had

I don’t know, I think it kind of overlap with the precedent question? Anyway, my characters are (only) plain, normal humans. Or, well, there was one time I had an idea to write a story with elves à la Tolkien, but it’s not really a weird character concept (or at all really xD)

40. Share some backstory for one of your characters

Well, all my characters’ important backstories end up being revealed, so I’m not gonna spoil anything here…

I’ll take Curly from Amandi. He grew up in an orphanage, a poor one, which didn’t have proper beds (hence why he calls them pockets, because they look like pockets). He has no memory of his parents because they separated before his birth and his mother died in birth. He comes from a magical land (since we’re talking about an OUAT AU).

The Rest of It 41. Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?

Write what you want to read.

42. How do you feel about love triangles?

I’m mixed. I’m not a fan of them, but I wrote one once, although it was a bit special because it looked like that: Person A is in love with Person B, and vice versa, Person C loves Person A and Person C (and the entire world) is convinced Person A is in love with them.

43. What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

I just go with it. They know better than me xD

44. How much research do you do?

A lot, but it’s mostly on little details. Like, not wars or political situation of the country at the time period, but more like were oil lamps still used for that class of population in said year, and can you snuff them out by turning the button (like in a slide sort of way, I’m not sure how to translate it precisely in English, but in my head it’s crystal clear).

45. How much world building do you do?

I do a lot. When I write a story, I like to know every little detail I can.

46. Do you reread your own stories?

Yes. That’s the main reason why I write them, to be true.

47. Best way to procrastinate

By searching for aesthetic pics on Pinterest. That thing can take hours and you never see them fly. It’s incredible. Worse than Youtube. It takes you from picture to picture to picture without you noticing. Amazing.

48. What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?

I give a little bit of myself to every character I write about. Be it opinions, thoughts, childhood memory or taste. For example, Weston doesn’t like chocolate (he hates it with a passion) because I think chocolate has a disgusting taste (and because he never had the occasion of eating any as a kid).

49. Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?

Weston, because he’s friendly and extraverted, and I wish I could be more of both, and I imagine that being his friend would make me mimic him in certain ways.

#personal #me myself and I #writing ask

0 notes

podcastdx · 3 years

Text

Effects of Agent Orange

Tara Parham, the daughter of a disabled USMCS Veteran, eighty-sixed her 6 figure income career in Government Healthcare and Lean Six Sigma, after falling ill with the first of 3 rare diseases that are associated with her dads exposure to Agent Orange, a dioxin used while he was serving in the Vietnam War. Her goal is to shed light on those who are struggling with the many debilitating conditions from Agent Orange and other Rare Diseases; to advocate for those who are struggling to find Help, their voice, and are unable to advocate for themselves.

TRANSCRIPT

s8e10- PodcastDx- Agent Orange

Lita T 00:10 Hello and welcome to another episode of podcast dx. The show that brings you interviews with people just like you, whose lives were forever changed by a medical diagnosis. I'm Lita.

Ron 00:22 I'm Ron

Jean 00:22 and I'm Jean Marie.

Lita T 00:23 Collectively, we're the hosts of podcast dx. Our guest today is Tara. She is the daughter of a disabled US Marine Corps veteran who had to leave her position in government health care after falling ill with the first of three rare diseases that are associated with her dad's exposure to Agent Orange. It's a dioxide,

Jean 00:48 dioxin

Lita T 00:50 used while he was serving in the Vietnam War. Her goal today is to shed light on those who are struggling with the many disabling or debilitating conditions from Agent Orange and other rare diseases, to advocate for those who are struggling to find help their voice and are unable to advocate for themselves.

Jean 01:12 Hi Tara. Hi, Tara,

Tara 01:14 Hi,

Ron 01:16 Tara to give our audience some background on Agent Orange. Birth defects are showing up in children of veterans who served in America's military during the Vietnam War. The mil, the military actually sprayed more than 20 million gallons of the powerful defoliant in Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia to deny the enemy food sources and cover 10s of 1000s of American military personnel handled, sprayed or were sprayed by the herbicide. The chemicals in Agent Orange are known to cause a variety of illnesses including several types of cancers, among other diseases. The list of illnesses tied to Agent Orange is posted on the Department of Veterans Affairs website, and they include and I may struggle with some of these

Lita T 02:09 good luck Ron.

Ron 02:12 Al amyloidosis. Chronic B cell leukemia,

Jean 02:18 leukemia,

Lita T 02:19 leukemia,

Ron 02:19 leukemia. Told you I was gonna struggle

Lita T 02:24 mmhhmm

Ron 02:24 Chloracne, Is that right?

Lita T 02:26 Well, we could try.

Jean 02:27 And actually I was just watching there's a Netflix series on now about spies. And one of the individuals who they attempt attempted to assassinate with dioxins has this and it's very, very it's a very visual type thing you can really you can definitely discern that. That's what that is.

Ron 02:48 Wow! There's also

Lita T 02:51 diabetes type 2

Ron 02:52 Yep. Thank you Hodgkin's disease, ischemic heart disease, multiple myeloma, also non Hodgkins lymphoma, Parkinson's disease, peripheral neuropathy, at least the early onset of it. Porphyria Cutanea Tarda. I hope I got that right. It also includes prostate cancer and other respiratory cancers, such as lung cancer, cancer of the larynx, trachea and bronchus. Also soft tissue sarcomas other than osteosarcoma, Chandrosarcoma Kaposi sarcoma, or mesothelioma. And a group of different types of cancers in the body tissues such as muscle fat, I'm sorry, muscle, fat, blood and lymph vessels, and also connective tissue. And it took decades for the Department of Veterans Affairs to admit that the powerful herbicide poisoned 1000s of their military members.

Jean 04:00 And that's right, Ron,

Tara 04:01 Yes

Jean 04:01 and the children of the men and women that served and were effected by Agent Orange have a possibility of being you know, like the children might be born with spina bifida that's quite common. And that's a birth defect that occurs while still in in utero, and where the spinal cord fails to close at the bottom. And then children of women that served in the same situation have a larger set of possible birth defects that the VA does recognize. And that's because women are born with the same number of eggs, you know, they they carry those with them their entire lives, whereas men are constantly producing new sperm.

Lita T 04:37 Right. And we are going to get to our guest in a minute.

Tara 04:40 I know

Lita T 04:40 I hate to put you off, but we're just trying to save you some of the background information here, Tara, According to...

Tara 04:48 No, I appreciate it.

Lita T 04:49 (laughter) That's okay. According to the VA that covered birth defects for children born to women who served in Vietnam and the Korean demilitarized zone. Include. Okay, now it's my turn.

Ron 05:02 Exactly

Lita T 05:03 Achondroplasia, cleft lip and cleft palate, congenital heart diseases. congenital talipes equinovarus Oh, that's called clubfoot. Okay, I should have just said clubfoot, esophageal and intestinal atresia, Hallerman-Streif or Steiff? stryfe Hallerman-Streiff syndrome, boy Jack's gonna have fun editing this one

Jean 05:30 Or Dom

Lita T 05:31 or Dominic, whoever gets lucky,

Ron 05:33 Dominic's shaking his head no.

Lita T 05:34 (laughter) Hip dysplasia, Hirschsprung's disease which is a congenital mega colon, hydrocephalus due to aqueductal stenosis. Hypose, hypospadias, hypospadias. We'll say hypospadias, imperforte anus, neural tube defects, Poland syndrome pyloric stenosis, syndactyly or fused digits. Oh, that's like webbed feet. Is that right? Okay. tracheoesophageal fistula? I did pretty good on that one, undescended testicle. Williams Syndrome,

Jean 06:24 and we laughed at the fact that we can't pronounce these things.

Lita T 06:27 Yeah, we're not laughing at the disease.

Ron 06:30 the sad part about is this agent orange causes all of this.

Lita T 06:33 Yeah,

Jean 06:33 Right, right

Lita T 06:34 Yeah.

Jean 06:34 And I mean, Tara, you must have become like an, you know, you have to know so much and learn so much. Because these are things that people normally

Lita T 06:44 normally don't even think about

Jean 06:45 haven't even heard.

Lita T 06:46 It's not in our everyday vocabulary. No. So, Tara, (laughter) back to you. Thank you for taking the time to speak with us today. We really appreciate it. Now, can you start our listeners out by telling us what conditions are you personally dealing with?

Tara 07:01 Yeah, well, thank you for having me. I'm really grateful to have this opportunity to speak about this. Because, as you just mentioned, all of those conditions that I'm gonna put in, quote, air quotes recognized as being caused by Agent Orange, there are a slew of other conditions. And along with medical research out there that support connections between Agent Orange and these conditions, although they're not identified as being recognized. I myself have just in the past three and a half years been diagnosed with three of those. The first is a vascular necrosis, which I have in both knees, both hips and both shoulders. A Vascular Necrosis is the the first that I was diagnosed with, which is technically called multifocal, because I have it all over. There are many citations out there that support the association between Agent Orange and a vascular necrosis. And the second diagnosis that I had was intracranial hypertension, which I actually caused me to go blind,

Lita T 08:17 Ohh!

Tara 08:17 completely blind, and I was never supposed to, I was never supposed to see again, ended up having to have a brain operation and a VP shunt, but that it's a central nervous system disorder that affects your your ventricles, your vessels, which is linked to the agent, orange dioxin similar to spinal bifida, Chiari, which there's literature out there supporting the connection to that as well.

Lita T 08:44 MMhhmm

Tara 08:44 And the third that I was diagnosed with last year was interstitial lung disease, which causes doctors to ask if I've been around birds. But it's not just me. My sister also gets it. And there is also a slew of research out there showing the connection between respiratory conditions, not just lung cancer, respiratory cancers that are related to Agent Orange. And as recently as July 21 2020. There was a research article on that by is on the VA website for lung diseases, saying that additional research needs to be done for the veteran. So if all this research still needs to be done for the veterans, there's still so much that has to happen just for their descendants, their offspring

Ron 09:41 Right,

Lita T 09:41 Right, right, because I've heard that it's also being passed on to the grandchildren. So it must be doing something

Tara 09:48 Yes

Lita T 09:48 in the genetic links, right?

Tara 09:50 Yes. Yes, it's multi generational, and it can lie dormant for years like mine didn't. It didn't show up until I was 40.

Ron 10:00 WOW!

Tara 10:00 yeah. And and my sister, my sister was actually born with webbed feet, which they recognized as one of the

Ron 10:09 conditions?

Tara 10:09 things that correct that can be passed on to descendants. That and she also has the same lung condition that I have. But so we both have it.

Lita T 10:18 Wow

Jean 10:19 and dioxins are also found in other areas. I mean, it's something that if you're, you know, say your your family wasn't exposed to Agent Orange, but you know, you should be aware of it,

Lita T 10:30 like landscapers, are you saying?

Jean 10:31 No, like on paper mills, Oh, there they are found in other areas in in industry. And this actually does kind of hit close to home because, um, Agent Orange was originally developed at the University of Illinois as a means to help grow soybeans. And it wasn't it used it

Lita T 10:38 as a chemical weapon

Jean 10:42 originally, very low doses, and then the military

Lita T 10:53 weaponized it basically.

Jean 10:54 Yeah, yeah

Lita T 10:55 Well thank you, Tara. I think our listeners have a better understanding of what we're going to be talking about now. Since we only discuss one one diagnosis per episode, we would like to discuss your battle with multifocal avascular necrosis, also known as AVN. Perhaps you're willing to come back on another episode and talk about the other problems individually? Would that be okay?

Tara 11:19 Absolutely.

Lita T 11:20 Great. So we could make this into like a mini series?

Jean 11:24 Yes Yes. Cuz I mean, it's, it's

Tara 11:26 absolutely.

Lita T 11:27 That would be really, really great.

Jean 11:28 Yeah Well, and yeah, we can kind of understand that when you when you volunteer for the military. You know, there's a lot of things that you're going to be exposed to that normal, civilians... Yeah.

Lita T 11:28 And I don't know if you're aware of, but Jean and I are both veterans. And we always support any veteran activity that's out there. Because it's also supporting us.

Jean 11:49 Actually we just, you know, we were just saying this morning that, you know, the vaccine for COVID is not mandatory, they can't really make it mandatory. However, in the military, it would be mandatory, because you're giving away your life for your country.

Tara 12:04 Yeah!

Lita T 12:04 However, does that mean you're giving away your children's lives, your grandchildren's lives, this is where this topic is going to be important.

Jean 12:12 And there is there is the onus on them to keep their personal safe.

Lita T 12:16 Yeah.

Jean 12:16 And whenever possible, prevent, you know, disease and illness

Lita T 12:20 Right

Jean 12:20 that kind of situation,

Lita T 12:21 right

Tara 12:22 Yep. I completely agree. And oftentimes, you know, the military families, the sacrifices that they make when their loved ones are off serving, or the sacrifices, in this case, their health. So I completely agree.

Lita T 12:39 Well, yeah, we never would have expected this type of a reaction based on Agent Orange, but now we're learning

Jean 12:47 Yeah. And

Tara 12:48 I know,

Jean 12:49 Tara, can you tell us? What is AVN? And which bones? You said that you have it? It's multi

Lita T 12:55 shoulders?

Jean 12:56 Yeah. Shoulders in everything? Can you tell us which exact which joints are affected in your body?

Lita T 13:01 And what is it

Jean 13:01 in? What is it? Yeah,

Tara 13:04 sure. Well, avascular necrosis is It's the result of reduction of the blood flows to the bone. I, I have it in both knees, both hips, both shoulders, which basically means my bones didn't get enough of the blood, which caused them to start to die. And once the bones start to die, they don't just regenerate themselves. Now, here's an interesting fact. I was diagnosed with this three and a half years ago, my dad, the veter... the Vietnam veteran was just diagnosed with that three months ago. And

Jean 13:41 Oh my gosh,

Tara 13:42 and there's multiple, like I said, there's multiple citations out there of so many other veterans and their descendants, who have also been diagnosed with avascular necrosis. But what it does is as the bone dies, it brings the entire joint with it. So oftentimes, it's missed. It's not diagnosed until it's until at a later stage, which makes it a lot more complex. And it's very hard to find.

Lita T 14:14 Does it start out? Yeah, the symptoms as they start out, is it does it feel like a arthritic type of a feeling or how did the symptoms start with you?

Tara 14:24 Well, what started interestingly, I woke up one morning and I thought that I had twisted my knee and my sleep. So it felt like a torn ligament in my knee. And I ended up going to the emergency room and I was misdiagnosed with bone cancer. Because

Ron 14:44 Oh Wow,

Tara 14:45 it Yeah, it looks like bone like white specks all in my bones.

Jean 14:52 Mhhmm

Lita T 14:52 Ohhh!

Tara 14:52 And that's the dead bone marks. They're called bone infarct. So I have that as well as, as the death on the end of the bone, which is the a vascular necrosis too. So that was the initial diagnosis. And I, it took me all over the country, I ended up going to Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota to trying to find a diagnosis and help, which ultimately landed me in New York City at New York Presbyterian, where I found a doctor to do a bilateral hip procedure on me to try and slow down the progression.

Lita T 15:31 Okay

Tara 15:32 So, and maybe I should touch more on, I guess, how do you want me to touch more on the connection between avascular necrosis and Agent Orange?

Lita T 15:42 Sure, sure.

Tara 15:45 Okay, hold on, let me get let me get there, my notes...

Lita T 15:49 she that's what Jean was saying. You have to become a expert.

Jean 15:53 Subject matter expert I think there should be honorary doctorates.

Lita T 15:56 Yes.

Jean 15:57 For patients like you. Yeah

Tara 15:59 Yeah, you have to you have to be your own, like advocate. And that's the biggest challenge especially says it's considered rare. There's not a lot of doctors who actually have the knowledge that you need. So you get Misdiagnosed, and you get misinformation, which causes you to lose time, and your options for treatment diminish.

Ron 16:25 Absolutely

Tara 16:25 So hold on one second. Sorry.

Jean 16:29 And I think Mayo Clinic is very interesting in Rochester, Minnesota, because the weather gets so cold there. I like to call it mole city. I don't know if they would agree with me calling it mole city

Lita T 16:39 (laughter) the tunnel.

Jean 16:39 But there's tunnels underground that connect the hospital to like the hotels, the hospital to the grocery store, to the library. So you don't have to go out there. freezing cold

Lita T 16:49 It's very nice. It's very nice

Jean 16:50 It's unique. It's it's kind of fun.

Lita T 16:52 Right?

Jean 16:53 And there's little shops all along the route.

Lita T 16:55 Yes.

Tara 16:55 Okay. Here we are. So the connection with the a vascular necrosis, and Agent Orange. So Avascular Necrosis, like I said, it's a result of the reduction of the blood flow to the bone. And Agent Orange has an adverse effect on blood vessels. So there's medical literature, literature that support Agent Orange, and the dioxin is capable of lying dormant and the effects that it has on the blood vessels. So it's actually the result? Yeah, hold on one second.

Lita T 17:32 I know I read the word stenosis and a couple of the different results.

Tara 17:37 By patients?

Lita T 17:38 Right. So stenosis is is reducing in size, so possibly, the blood vessel size is reduced at the at the bone. Could that be part of it?

Tara 17:49 Yeah. It's because it's not getting because of that the blood is not flowing the way that it needs to.

Lita T 17:55 Right.

Jean 17:56 And I guess most people don't think of their bones as first of all even needing a blood source.

Lita T 18:00 Yeah, yeah

Jean 18:01 but you don't realize that the osteocytes and, and everything inside your bone that you know that there's constant growth in bone and that it's still...

Tara 18:07 I know.

Jean 18:08 Yeah, because you think it's like set in stone. But really, it's, you know, part of your living

Lita T 18:14 body,

Jean 18:14 it's part of your body that's, you know, it's constantly

Lita T 18:16 most people don't think about it

Jean 18:17 regenerating, yeah.

Lita T 18:17 Right, right

Tara 18:19 It is. And a lot of people also kind of confused a vascular necrosis, which is also called osteonecrosis, but they confuse it with osteoporosis.

Lita T 18:30 Right, right

Tara 18:32 Like,

Jean 18:32 ohhhh,

Tara 18:32 Oh, they're like, you have

Ron 18:34 brittle bones?

Tara 18:34 osteoporosis. I'm like, it's not osteoporosis.

Lita T 18:37 No, no

Tara 18:39 It's osteonecrosis. And it's completely different. I went through that, initially, to once I found out that it was the a vascular necrosis, it was very challenging to explain to people actually, what it was, who had assumed that it was osteoperosis,

Ron 18:40 Right

Lita T 18:40 Different

Ron 18:40 Right, right you know, as we're talking, I just, it reminds me and this is going way back, when I was in college, I had done a paper on the banning of chemicals and Agent Orange.

Jean 19:14 Mhhmm

Ron 19:14 It was done like in the mid 70s, or something like that, because they knew it was bad. They just didn't know how bad

Jean 19:22 Mhhmm

Lita T 19:22 Oh Wow.

Ron 19:22 And this is where the stuff that we're talking about now is the result of all the research from that but way back in the 80s when I did this paper, they knew that this stuff was bad and that's why they said no more of these chemicals.

Jean 19:39 Well, it kind of reminds me of lead in fuel.

Ron 19:41 Mhhmm

Jean 19:42 And you know, like to prove that it was perfectly fine, which it's not the someone actually dipped their hands into it, and then later on, developed all sorts of cancers in both arms. But you know, like we I guess it takes time and research and, you know, you have to think about the effects down the road.

Ron 20:00 The long term Absolutely.

Jean 20:01 And it's not. Yeah, it's a challenge,

Lita T 20:03 right?

Tara 20:04 Yeah. And I remember reading somewhere that the amount of chemical that was used over there covered the span of I think it was like Kentucky and another state combined. And it was actually the the combination of the chemicals in Agent Orange. The thing is tcdd tetrachloride benzodioxine, dioxin tcdd. It's the chemical group of compounds named dioxins. And that's what makes Agent Orange as notorious as it is. And it's actually considered the most toxic of all dioxins, which is saying a lot, because dioxins are notoriously toxic. So, yeah, it's, um, I don't know, if you guys watched Chernobyl, that show?

Jean 21:01 I haven't seen that one yet. It's on my list.

Tara 21:03 Oh, I'm wondering how come they haven't done something like this for Agent Orange?

Jean 21:08 That's interesting

Tara 21:09 I'm like, yeah,

Jean 21:10 yeah. And I've been to see, oh, what has it done to the population?

Lita T 21:13 in Vietnam?

Jean 21:14 Yeah, in Vietnam? Because, um, you know, it's a long lasting chemical. And it's, yeah, it's got to have long term effects.

Lita T 21:22 Right.

Jean 21:22 Yeah. And then it's also in the environment at large.

Tara 21:25 Yep. And there is actually I've read a lot of things about the effects of the what's happening in Vietnam because of this. It's still being in the soil, so...

Jean 21:37 And, and there's probably, you know, if your going to have does have research and information, that's probably a good source as well, because they have a probably a greater population from the exposure. And actually, I think that takes us to Ron's question...

Ron 21:50 exactly. Can you tell us how common is a vascular necrosis? And actually, how is it treated?

Tara 22:00 Sure, so a vascular necrosis is probably anywhere from 10 to 20,000 people a year are diagnosed with it. So in order to be considered a rare disease, it's 200,000 or less avascular necrosis is 10, to 20,000.

Jean 22:20 Okay

Tara 22:20 So to treat a vascular necrosis and I need to give a plug here, because a lot of my information, Dr. Michael Mont, at Lenox Hill, who has, I was scheduled to have surgery on both knees, both hips in both shoulders in September of this time here, but due to COVID, and all of that, a couple of other mishaps, I actually kind of got sick with my lungs, too. We're postponing it, but he is phenomenal. He is a avascular necrosis guru, let me say that. So a lot of what I am speaking to is from literature that I've read that he wrote and talks about. So as far as treatments go for a vascular necrosis. As I mentioned earlier, a lot of people don't get a diagnosis until later in stage three, to give a little background on this, there is different staging, I guess, models that are used, there's ARCAT, then if you use the ARCAT, there's ARCO there's four stages, the first two stages are only identifiable on an MRI. So most people aren't going to be if you go to the doctor and you have knee pain or something they're not they're going to do an X ray. And when they don't see anything, it's like I don't, you're fine. Most, a lot of times, you don't go for an MRI for multiple reasons. So you don't get diagnosed until the pain progressed, and it gets really bad. Well, it's during those first two stages, where you have the less invasive procedures that are options that could help prolong you, possibly your bone completely dying and needing total replacements and it's becoming mobility issues, as well. So Another interesting fact here, too, and I'm kind of all over the board, but you know,

Lita T 24:29 yeah, you know, it turns out to be like a spider web, you know, one thing leads to another but go ahead and take your time.

Tara 24:35 I know avascular necrosis, there are a couple kind of well known people that had it A-Rod had it in his shoulder, Mike Napoli. Oh, the Red Sox play for the Red Sox, but theirs were caught. It was caught really early because they had to go through rigorous physical. So they had really high success. But I can't stress the importance of especially If somebody has history of Agent Orange, and they're having hip pain or something of that nature and their knees, hips or shoulders or something, especially if they have underlying health issues that prompts them to need prednisone or steroids, cause that contributes to that. It's like a perfect storm,

Lita T 25:24 okay

Tara 25:24 with the agent orange to cause a vascular necrosis. So did I answer your question?,

Lita T 25:32 Yeah that makes sense. That makes sense. Right?

Tara 25:35 I didn't finish answering the question though,

Lita T 25:37 no, that's okay. But at least that gives some background. Right. Right.

Tara 25:41 Okay,

Jean 25:42 well, yeah. And I think, you know, if you go to, you know, your orthopedist, and I don't think you know, is it typical for them to ask you? So did your parents, you know, serve in Vietnam? Are they exposed Agent Orange, it's, if it's not on their intake information, you really do have to advocate for yourself.

Lita T 25:58 Right? So the treatments again, the the initial treatments are, are what?

Tara 26:06 Okay, there you go. See, I didn't even answer it.

Ron 26:09 (Laughter)

Tara 26:09 So there's a there's, there's quite a few different treatments for the stage. And it's a little bit controversial, too, because, because it's rare, and most people don't get diagnosed until stage three and four. That means that there's not a lot of people to actually do tests that are trials on

Lita T 26:35 Oh Okay

Tara 26:35 stage one and two, or phase, the earlier stages. But very popular and somewhat controversial, depending on who you talk to is a core decompression, where they use bone marrow efforts that stem cells. So what accordi compression is, is they take and drill holes into your bone. And they inject stem cells into the bone marrow in hopes of regenerating the bone.

Lita T 27:10 Would they be your own stem cells?

Tara 27:12 Yes

Lita T 27:13 Okay?

Tara 27:13 Yeah, yes. But I also have for earlier stages. Do they also do PRP for protein rich? The

Lita T 27:21 plasma

Tara 27:22 stem cells?

Lita T 27:23 Okay. Okay.

Tara 27:25 But as far as treatment for the later stages, and that so.... So why I said it was controversial is because some orthopedist will say that, if you have a core decompression, you're kind of wasting your time, because it might buy you a little time, but you're still ultimately going, it's still going to collapse in the long run. And you're still going to have to go through all of the other things. So why even do the core de-compression?

Lita T 27:58 So it's just it's just a temporary

Jean 28:01 stop gap.

Lita T 28:01 A stop gap Yeah.

Ron 28:03 How much time?

Jean 28:04 Yeah,

Tara 28:06 it varies. And it's not always, that's not always the case, I had the bilateral hip core decompression in January of 2018. And I mean, I had tremendous relief after I did, and so far, like, it's, it hasn't gotten to the point to where I would need like to have it again. Like the pain hasn't gotten to that point to where it was before I had that surgery. So it's but there's other people who have had success and haven't had to go on and have any further surgery. So it's, it's not a, everyone will will have to it's there might be some that do and some that don't. And so the some that that do ultimately have to go on and have it that causes them to say that not to have it I don't know. So it is controversial.

Lita T 29:05 Okay

Tara 29:06 If you ask anybody, you'll get mixed reviews on whether you should or shouldn't. But the the guru, Dr. Michael Mont will tell you yes. To do the core compression, and I'm right there with him.

Lita T 29:18 Okay.

Tara 29:19 A majority of the time, I guess it depends there are things that so so let me just kind of say this. There's it depends on how much of the articular surface though, is covered with it has dead bones. Like if there's 75% or more, that has dead bone or if it's less light, so there's so many different, "if that, then that"

Lita T 29:47 Right, right.

Tara 29:48 And so

Lita T 29:48 like with cancer, you know, they treat cancer based on how much progression there is, are they going to use radio radiation or chemo? So I'm sure that they base it based on like, you're saying how bad it has progressed, right?

Tara 30:02 Correct, correct? Yeah. But that's for the first on the stage one and stage two, stage three and four get more complex.

Jean 30:14 Okay

Tara 30:14 So you have a variety of different options depending on, like I said, how much dead bone there is, as well as where it's at, where the dead bone is at. I have dead bone. It's 75% on one side, 85% on the other, my hip, and my knees are actually stage three. And my, my, my right, left shoulder is stage three, my right is stage two. And what that means is that some of the more less, the less invasive procedures, maybe don't have a high success possibility. It doesn't mean that it wouldn't possibly work, shall I say? Does that make sense?

Jean 31:04 It does, but is is like a replacement of the joint possibility.

Tara 31:15 Is the what I'm sorry,

Jean 31:16 can can they replace the joints?

Tara 31:19 Yes. But you wouldn't do that until stage later? Well, it depends on how much pain you're having to and a lot of it is derived by it by that. But yes, replacing it is an option. So and let me just explain this. This is the best explanation that somebody gave me on how to explain a vascular necrosis. So a vascular, a lot of people think that a vascular necrosis is like your joint. Something happened because you get a joint replacement. But what's happening is picture like whenever they lay of road, paver road, they lay sand down first and then they lay asphalt on top of it. But as you get a pothole, what happens is that sand settles and as the sand settles, then it pulls that asphalt down. So that's the same thing that's happening with the bone as the bone is dying because that's what a vascular necrosis is, is the bone dying as the dying is pulling down and that's what pulls your joint down and all of that, and it pulls all your ligaments and cartilage down and that's why you had to have all of it replaced.

Jean 32:35 So it's like sinkholes in the bone. Okay.

Tara 32:38 Yeah. Because your bones they're dying and they're, they're collapsing. And so as it does, it's taking everything with it.

Lita T 32:45 It's not just the not just the bone at the joint itself, but could it occur anywhere along the bone?

Tara 32:55 Yes, I I actually have it that called bone infarct, I have a vascular necrosis at the ends of my bones. And then I have bone infarct, which is dead bone patches throughout the long parts of my bones to which is where a lot of the the cancer that's where the cancer misdiagnosis came because it looks like that it shows up white in the images.

Lita T 33:25 Okay,

Tara 33:26 but yes,

Lita T 33:27 wow,

Jean 33:28 yeah,

Tara 33:28 for stage three and four, they have multiple different options, like there's an OATS procedure, a vascular graft procedure, ultimately, yes, a total replacement would be, I guess, that I want to say worst case scenario, but before the meet at that age, is a replacement for your hip would only last 10 years.

Jean 33:55 Okay, so they try to hold off.

Tara 33:56 Now it's actually lasting longer. Sometimes I think it's different if you have a vascular necrosis because the bones especially if they continue to kind of die after you've had the replacement,

Jean 34:09 right? Like after the bone isn't.

Lita T 34:12 Right.

Jean 34:13 Okay. I was just gonna say this, the shaft of the bone is supporting that joint. And so eventually, like, you'd have to place the shaft and the joint itself.

Lita T 34:20 Right So

Jean 34:21 and you're

Lita T 34:22 Why can't they get to the point where they're actually just solving the cause

Jean 34:27 the, stopping the necrosis.

Lita T 34:28 Right So in other words, like,

Jean 34:30 right,

Lita T 34:30 feeding the bone with the blood

Jean 34:32 Right,

Lita T 34:33 they can't. They can't come up with something where they can actually

Jean 34:36 I'm sure somebody's researching it somewhere. yeah.

Lita T 34:38 yeah,

Ron 34:38 Yep

Lita T 34:40 Wow.

Tara 34:40 Yeah. No,

Lita T 34:41 sorry.

Tara 34:41 Yeah.

Lita T 34:42 Yeah. Are they? I hate to interrupt you, Tara. But are there are there things that you could do to relieve the symptoms or improve your quality of life as you're going through this, you know, like as a person, not medical,

Jean 34:58 as an individual

Lita T 34:58 as an individual thank you

Jean 35:00 No I think, I think we do want medical.

Lita T 35:02 Okay. Alright

Tara 35:02 Yeah. Well, I can tell you. I can tell you from research that I did as far as exercise goes, low impacts. aquatics is really good.

Lita T 35:15 Okay,

Tara 35:15 yoga. Another good thing that I found actually has been tremendous for me. Is is keto.

Lita T 35:22 What is keto?

Tara 35:25 What I eat.

Lita T 35:26 Oh, I'm sorry. Okay. I thought it was a new. I thought it was like a karate. (laughter).

Jean 35:32 Okay, okay, stop.

Lita T 35:35 I'm sorry.

Tara 35:36 No. Keto. So one of the things of one of the challenges is, you know, with your bones, whenever you have a vascular necrosis, it makes it really challenging to be able to work out and get exercise or to go on a hike or things of that nature. Because it's kind of like a tire your bones are, the more you drive, the more your tire wears down. And so with avascular necrosis, it's the more that you walk, the more the bone collapses.

Lita T 36:05 Sure, sure. Right.

Tara 36:08 And so previous literature, I'd probably have to say and there might be some orthopedics that still recommend it, although I wouldn't. That say non weight bearing, like Don't, don't walk, try and limit your, your walking and as much as possible, because that will prolong the collapse. But what I found changing my eating too has allowed me to drop 36 pounds last year. And

Jean 36:37 congratulations,

Tara 36:38 when I wasn't able to work out and do those things that I used to love to do, like running. You know,

Jean 36:47 do you still run in your sleep in your dreams? Is that just me? .

Tara 36:52 You know what I do sometimes from from scary PTSD doctors that I've had from my experiences, but yeah, yes, I'm running.

Lita T 37:02 Okay. I'm sorry. Is it my turn?

Jean 37:05 Yeah, it's your turn

Lita T 37:06 Oh okay (laughter)

Jean 37:07 go fish.

Ron 37:07 Yeah.

Lita T 37:08 What? Tara, what role have your family and friends played in your health care journey?

Jean 37:13 Yeah. Especially your sister. Um,

Tara 37:17 okay. So, my family has been tremendous. Um, my dad and my mom have been my rock. I don't, I would not have been able to make it without them, which I'm not going to go into, like, my past or anything. But it's, it's different from how I grew up. You know, my dad was fighting his demons with the war. But now, he's, he's my rock. Luckily, with COVID because he was in a war veterans home for the past 17 years. And then COVID happened. And I found out that they weren't allowing their workers to wear masks. And so I had him. Oh, yeah. Yep.

Lita T 38:02 Oh!

Ron 38:02 What? Wow.

Tara 38:05 in April. Yeah, I have that recorded. But anyway, um,

Lita T 38:10 what state are you in? Oh, what state are you in?

Tara 38:13 I'm in Louisiana, Louisiana right now. So, um, I had him discharged. And so he's been able to be here with me. Although it's been extremely challenging with my stuff, but we've been able to support each other.

Lita T 38:31 Support each other Right.

Jean 38:32 And it's nice to meet your parents again, as adults,

Lita T 38:36 Yes

Jean 38:36 you know, to get to know them again. As an adult.

Tara 38:39 Yeah, exactly. Yes. And so it's been, um, my family has been amazing. is I don't even know how to say this and dance around it. I probably should have prepared better for that question.

Jean 38:57 You could leave in skip it, you can skip it

Tara 39:00 Okay,

Lita T 39:00 Whatever is comfortable for you. And if you want us to edit this out, we could also edit that part out

Jean 39:05 sure.

Tara 39:05 Okay, well, let me just say this. I fell into probably one of the darkest places of my life that I've ever been in. I am honestly lucky to be alive. There were days that I didn't know if I would make it if it wasn't my health, bringing me to the brink. My physical health, it was my mental health. And so every single relationship in my life was affected. I'm currently where we stand. My mom and my dad are my support system. And I'm rebuilding everything else.

Jean 39:44 Okay.

Lita T 39:45 Okay.

Ron 39:45 Gotcha

Lita T 39:46 All right.

Jean 39:47 Yeah. And I talk about mental health and physical health definitely go hand in hand.

Lita T 39:51 Yes, for sure. Definitely.

Tara 39:53 Absolutely. And when you're fighting for your life, you don't have like a lot of the energy to use On those relationships, so work on those.

Lita T 40:03 We understand that

Tara 40:03 And so everything is affected, you know,

Lita T 40:06 we understand that, yeah.

Jean 40:07 And you're in your friends and family have to be very understanding you're not able to do the things you used to do. And they really do have to make an effort.

Lita T 40:14 Right? Right.

Tara 40:15 Right

Lita T 40:15 And some people just can't really put themselves in the shoes of another person that has a chronic illness.

Tara 40:23 Right Yes

Lita T 40:24 And it's difficult. And, you might have to just excuse them and say, well, it's just not within their Yeah. purview

Jean 40:33 Purview?.

Tara 40:33 Yeah, wheelhouse

Lita T 40:35 right. Right. Right.

Ron 40:36 Look, this isn't really part of the script. But I'm just curious in you don't have to answer if you don't want to. Have you been able to see someone or talk to a therapist? Or?

Tara 40:47 Oh I have a yes. Yes,

Ron 40:50 Okay

Tara 40:50 I have. I've had a therapist for probably, like 10 years. Um, who? I call her my life coach, actually.

Jean 40:59 Sure. Sure.

Ron 41:00 Right

Tara 41:00 She's Wonderful.

Lita T 41:01 Yeah. Anybody with a chronic illness? It's causing pain on a non stop basis, I think, personally, should consider a therapist, Right I know,

Ron 41:11 but people look, view it differently. That's my opinion, But people dance around the question

Tara 41:11 Absolutely

Lita T 41:17 but personally, Yeah, yeah. My opinion is that it's needed.

Jean 41:20 Yeah.

Tara 41:20 Yeah, they're, they're such that there is still a stigma, in many ways about therapy and mental health. But honestly, there isn't, even if you don't think that you have a mental health, you know, reason to seek help. We all have things that we could improve on,

Lita T 41:39 Sure

Ron 41:39 Certainly

Tara 41:40

and why, you know, why wouldn't we want to?

Lita T 41:43 Right

Tara 41:43 That's exactly what a therapist would help you do? You know? So that's just my thoughts.

Jean 41:49 Oh absolutely

Ron 41:50 Some people have that thought of, these are my feelings I hate for anybody else to know what I'm feeling. I'll just deal with it internally.

Tara 41:59 Yeah.

Ron 41:59 And, you know, again, I mean, people look at it, people view it, people process it differently. I'm in total agreement with what Lita and Jean Marie and what you're saying about, it's great to talk with someone. But again, because of the stigma and all that a lot of times there's people out there that say, I don't want anybody,

Lita T 42:19 right,

Ron 42:20 know what's going on,

Jean 42:21 But it is coming into play in more. For example, like with organ transplant, getting counseling is not an option.

Ron 42:31 Right

Jean 42:31 It's a requirement,

Ron 42:32 right?

Jean 42:33 And because they realize that you really you, you need assistance, and you need some help.

Ron 42:37 Right

Jean 42:37 And it's a big deal. And I think the more and more we integrate health and take it in is part of the whole health package, the better it is for everyone.

Lita T 42:47 Right.

Jean 42:47 And this way it reduces that stigma

Lita T 42:48 better. If we would have started that way back when medicine started,

Jean 42:52 right,

Lita T 42:53 and said, mental health and physical health are hand in hand. And if you go to a doctor, and you're being seen for something that's chronic, I mean, if it's something that's that's short lived, and the doctor fixes you, there's probably but if it's chronic, I think that you should automatically say, well, because of this chronic illness, you automatically, you know, should go to

Jean 43:14 it should be included,

Lita T 43:14 right? It should be included.

Tara 43:16 Yep. No, I was just gonna say I think there needs to be like some type of chronic illness case manager, care manager, and whenever somebody is diagnosed, that they're referred to that person, and there's information that is given to them based especially based off of that condition, and it includes all of what you're saying. Absolutely

Lita T 43:34 right, right

Tara 43:35 because there is a huge gap, in many ways on in chronic illness, especially rare disease like that. I mean, it takes a good year for somebody just to get their bearings for any condition,

Lita T 43:52 right to process it

Tara 43:53 You want to make it a rare, a rare disease, and then that it adds to it because there's only a handful of people who actually have the knowledge that you need in order to find the treatment that you need. And oftentimes you have to travel extensively. I've had to travel across the country and figure out financially how you were going to afford it. I've had to get extremely creative. I found a lot of my doctors based off of research articles that I've read, because there wasn't actually an organization for my condition. So it there's so much that needs to be done in this this arena. But all of what you're saying would be great, too.

Lita T 44:37 Well, that leads me to my next question. Tara, what is the best advice that you've received for coping with a rare disease and what advice would you give to somebody recently diagnosed with a rare disease?

Tara 44:52 The best advice that I received was you have to be kind to yourself and take one day at a time and I know that That really, it really sounds cliche, because you hear, you know, one day at a time, but you get so exhausted, trying to just trying to find the most simplest thing. And all you want to do is like, just find the answers. And you can't even find an answer. That won't even get on people who are misdiagnosed. But it's really easy to get discouraged, and you beat yourself up over things. So I think that that was the best advice that I received for coping, and that to surround yourself with people who will help you see a side of you that you can't see,

Lita T 45:43 like to bring out the positive from you.

Tara 45:45 Yeah, well, that will remind you of the good in you because you're going to be struggling really hard. You're not going to feel like that person at all.

Lita T 45:54 Right. Good advice.

Ron 45:56 Yeah absolutely. Tara, how can our listeners learn more about you? And also about AVN? And do you have any, any social media accounts out there that you want to share with us?

Tara 46:11 Absolutely. Um, can I go back and answer the rest of the rest of that question though?

Lita T 46:17 Oh sure, go back, backtrack!

Tara 46:19 Okay. Okay. So, um, because what advice would I give to someone recently diagnosed with a rare disease is, I would say, research online to see if there's a nonprofit for that condition. One of the best places that I have found support is on social media support group. Facebook has so many support groups, and specifically about the a vascular necrosis support group. That's where Dr. Michael Mont, the one that the avascular necrosis guru, every two weeks, he goes on, he does a live q&a, invite anybody on that support group to participate and ask him any question that you want whatsoever?

Lita T 47:08 I love that

Tara 47:08 Send him your Yep, you can send him your, your, your discs, to look at it, develop a treatment plan for you do all of that for free? Like he is? Yeah, it's amazing. So for any rare disease, I don't know. I wish my other conditions had that type of interaction. But the a vascular necrosis support group does and it's amazing. So I would definitely start with support groups. Social media, look for the nonprofit, associated National Organization for rare disease Nord, is a place to start to, that will lead you to any nonprofits, potentially, to finding help. And another option is research articles. That's how I found a lot of the doctors that I've met and saw, but based off of who wrote the research article, though, but that was my advice.

Lita T 48:13 Okay, thank you. How can we learn more about you then?

Tara 48:17 More about me, I will, I will send you my social media contact information. And I am actually starting next weekend. I'm going to start documenting my journey.

Lita T 48:30 Oh good

Ron 48:30 Okay.

Lita T 48:31 like a blog.

Tara 48:31 Yep

Lita T 48:32 And a blog. Okay, great.

Tara 48:33 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, on a blog.

Lita T 48:37 Excellent. We'll make sure that we put a link for that in our website.

Tara 48:40 Yes. Because I want to hopefully, share and hopefully I can help others that have maybe experienced the same things that I have. Even especially with the surgery that I'm going to have to have too

Lita T 48:54 To get ready for, great, excellent idea. Thank you very much. Well, Tara, thank you so much for taking the time to join us today. And we're looking forward to speaking with you in the future about the other issues that you're dealing with. So we'll be scheduling, we'll be scheduling other appointments for you in the future.

Tara 49:16 Great, and I'm like, I got my first podcast down and there's nowhere to go, only improve. Right

Ron 49:22 (laughter)

Tara 49:22 like I'm only gonna get much better.

Lita T 49:24 Yes,

Ron 49:25 Oh you did fine. Don't worry about it yet fine.

Lita T 49:28 We're gonna definitely

Tara 49:28 I didn't even

Lita T 49:31 we're gonna definitely be pushing this episode into our veterans network so that other veterans and children of veterans will be aware of this as well.

Tara 49:42 I'm going to too and that's why I was going to ask you guys for your social all your social media

Lita T 49:47 Sure yes

Tara 49:48 because I'd already created like the post and I want to post it and

Lita T 49:52 Great, great

Tara 49:53 report although although I'm really reluctant because I so I wrote down all my answer, like I've rehearsed it. A lot of what I said is not even on what I wrote.

Lita T 50:04 Okay, alright

Ron 50:06 Maybe we should do that

Lita T 50:07 (laughter)

Tara 50:07 I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened. And I'm like, what I wrote is probably like, a lot better than what I said. And I was like, Oh my God, why did you do that?

Lita T 50:16 It always goes that way? It always goes that way. The only reason we use a script is, well, I think it's because of me, I have early onset Alzheimer's. And if I don't have a script in front of me, I forget where we are. I forget who we're talking to, I forget quite a bit. So it keeps me focused. And I think it helps keep us from talking over each other. Because when there's three of us on this side of the microphone, talking to you, it kind of limits how much we're talking over each other. So it helps us

Jean 50:48 And I tend to ramble.

Tara 50:49 Okay

Lita T 50:51 (laughter)

Ron 50:51 And I guess I tend to interrupt.

Jean 50:53 Yeah.

Tara 50:56 So if I tell you that I had the script in front of me, will that scare you?

Lita T 51:00 No,

Ron 51:00 not at all

Jean 51:01 no, no, no.

Tara 51:02 Ok Cause I had it in front of me. And I still rambled and went off topic. And I'm like, and I didn't even do it. And I was like, Oh, my God,

Ron 51:09 You're all good.

Lita T 51:10 I'm glad you did, because it turned out wonderfully.

Ron 51:13 Yeah,

Lita T 51:13 Thank you very much.

Ron 51:14 And actually, we do appreciate you coming on the show this morning and sharing your story with us. Quite interesting to say the least.

Lita T 51:22 Oh yeah!

Ron 51:23 And I'm sure that all of our listeners out there, learned a lot from this episode.

Lita T 51:27 I learned a lot.

Jean 51:28 I did too!

Ron 51:28 And we're looking forward to having you come on in the future to talk about some of the other conditions that you had mentioned earlier.

Tara 51:36 Yeah. And I have like, so I have so much better documentation that I could provide?

Lita T 51:44 Well, you know, what you could do is you could send me those links through email.

Jean 51:48 We can add them to our Pinterest Page

Lita T 51:50 When I when I build the website, I don't know if you're aware of this, but you'll get your own page on our website. And then I put links for everything that you would like, on our on your website page. And this way people

Tara 52:03 Awesome!

Lita T 52:03 can go right there. Yes,

Jean 52:05 Yeah And then we'll have a Pinterest page for you as well. And it'll have direct links to any research that you'd like to cite or any documents or articles.

Lita T 52:13 Right, right.

Jean 52:16 Awesome, so good because I have all of those, like, I have the whole slew of medical, even research and citations and everything

Lita T 52:26 exactly

Tara 52:26 and even stuff about Agent Orange, so.

Lita T 52:28 Right Very important to include. Yeah,

Ron 52:32 right. Right, right. Okay, well, thank you again. If our listeners have any questions or comments related to today's show, they can contact us at podcast [email protected] through our website, podcast dx.com on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, or Instagram.

Jean 52:50 And if you have a moment to spare, please give us a review wherever you get your podcast. As always, please keep in mind that this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or a qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding medical condition or treatment before undertaking a new health care routine and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking you because of something you've heard on this podcast.

Lita T 53:09 Till next week.

Check out this episode!

#health care #medical #podcastDX #illness #surgery #recovery

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dannybnnt · 6 years

Text

Family Time

Summary: Ellie comes to visit Dan in the hospital.

@isleydrewwhittaker @misselizabeth-bennett

Ellie-Last Sunday at 10:30 PM

Ellie had spent a decent amount of time assuming that Drew had been fucking with her. Despite her thought she couldn't stop the feeling of dread that was settling in the pit of her stomach as she made her way to the hospital. She tapped away on her phone, sending her brother text after text, hoping that at one point he would reply and let her knew that Drew was in fact fucking with her. When she never got a reply she closed her eyes, assuming that this was the point where people would beg and plead with whatever higher power they believed in. Unfortunately for her she didn't have that. When the car stopped her climbed out, her heels clicking against the ground as she tossed her hair over her shoulder, starting to look around for Drew. When she didn't see him she sighed, pulling out her ID and showing it to the woman at the counter, "I'm Elizabeth Bennet, I'm here to see my brother Daniel." The woman typed a few things into her computer, several more than Ellie felt was actually necessary. Fixing the woman with a cold expression she crossed her arms over her chest, flatly thanking her when she got a room number. The closer she got to the room the more nervous she became, chewing on the inside of her lip as she twisted her hair around her finger. Quietly she knocked on the door before pushing it open, keeping a neutral expression as she looked at Daniel, then Isley, "Hey..."

Isley-Last Sunday at 10:33 PM

“Hey, Ellie. Did you get my voicemail?” Isley asked, standing to hug her tightly. She sat back down in her seat by him, immediately taking his hand again. She laid her head on his lap and grew quiet, allowing Ellie and Daniel to talk.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 10:34 PM

Daniel had been in and out of sleep for a while. When he felt Isley move, he woke up again to see his sister walking in. "Hey you." He greeted her. "I was beginning to think you forgot about me." He joked.

Ellie-Last Sunday at 10:37 PM

Ellie flinched away from Isley's hug, giving her an apologetic look afterwards. She needed to work on that. "Not really, I mean it's there I've just never listened to a voicemail before in my life. Drew texted me." She looked over her brother a frown coming over her face, "Yeah well, I'm always the last person to know anything, so I got here as soon as I could." Her response was half hearted as she continued to look him over, biting her bottom lip, "Can I sit with you or will it hurt you?"

Daniel-Last Sunday at 10:45 PM

Daniel shook his head "You can sit with me." He said, opening his arm a bit. He was glad to see Ellie, because he wasn't sure that she would want to be in a hospital at all, even given the circumstances.

Ellie-Last Sunday at 10:48 PM

Ellie slipped her heels off, not wanting to poke him, before she crawled into the bed. She carefully rested her head on his chest, trying not to put too much weight on him until she was convinced that it actually wouldn't hurt him. "What happened?" She asked quietly, pulling her sleeves over her hands as she looked around the room, focusing on putting aside her own nerves regarding doctors. "What did you do and why are you this stupid?"

Isley-Last Sunday at 10:52 PM

Isley's hands fluttered around Daniel, scared that Ellie would hurt his broken ribs or something. When he seemed to be doing okay, she sat back in her seat, still holding Daniel's hand close to her. "He doesn't remember." She answered. "He and Margot went flying, and I don't know exactly what happened, but they crashed."

Daniel-Last Sunday at 10:54 PM

He nodded his head to Isley's answer. "Guess Margot isn't a good pilot or something, I don't know." He joked lightly. "She was having a really bad day and told me she was going to fly to another country for a while. I tried to talk her down and told her I would go on a short ride with her if it would make her feel better. Getting into the plane is the last thing I remember."

Ellie-Last Sunday at 11:10 PM

"Why would you get into a plane like that?" Ellie asked, mindlessly rubbing her arms together as she sat up just enough to look at him, "That's stupid. You're supposed to be less stupid than that. Now look at you. What if your face never looks the same again?" Maybe that wasn't the kindest way for her to address her concern, but her mouth seemed to be working faster than her head.(edited)

Isley-Last Sunday at 11:12 PM

Isley couldn't help but laugh at Ellie's words. "His face will be fine. If he gets a scar, that's fine, too. Scars are sexy." She said, only half teasing. She brought his hand to her lips, kissing it again. It was the only part of him she knew wouldn't break if she kissed.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 11:14 PM

"Well she was a pilot in the air force so it didn't feel like that stupid of a decision at the time." He explained. "Guess I'll be ugly. Thank God, I locked Isley in." He joked. "Ellie, look, I'm okay. It's gonna be okay."

Ellie-Last Sunday at 11:17 PM

"Scars are only sexy in some cases, this will just look horrible." Ellie hid her face in his chest, trying to prevent herself from crying, "Danny what are you going to do if you look hideous and Isley leaves you and then you're alone forever because you look like the beast but worse, that dude with the mask from the opera musical. Oh my god you're going to become him, he's so creepy. This isn't okay."

Isley-Last Sunday at 11:27 PM

"Ellie, love..." Isley began, reaching over with her other arm to stroke Ellie's. "He's fine. He's gonna be just fine. The doctor said his swelling has already gone down. The worst of it is over, okay? Actually, I take that back. Imagine how bad he's gonna be when we get back home and have to take care of him all day and all night." She joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 11:29 PM

"Are you talking about the Phantom of the Opera? Jesus, how bad do I look right now?" He asked with a small laugh, that was cut short as his ribs hurt. "Just calm down."

Ellie-Last Sunday at 11:40 PM

Ellie didn't flinch this time as Isley touched her, shaking her head a little, "You don't know that though. Everything can always go wrong and it's horrible. This isn't okay. Stop saying it's okay." Tears started to build in her eyes, slowly start to drip onto him as she kept her head down, slightly muffled by him, "Isley this isn't the time for jokes, have you not seen him?" She gave a little shrug when he said the name of the musical, "I don't know, I hate musicals. I'm not Drew." She sat up quickly when he stopped laughing, concern clouding her features as she looked him over, "What's wrong, what did I do?"

Isley-Last Sunday at 11:49 PM

"El, we do know. The doctors said he's doing amazingly well. They're monitoring him closely. And yes, I have seen him. Believe me, there is no one here more worried than I am. But we have to trust that the doctors know what they're doing. He's alive and he's as happy as he can be, and that's something to be grateful for." When he stopped laughing abruptly, though, her calm facade snapped. "You didn't do anything, but get off him. He has broken ribs."April 30, 2018

Daniel-Yesterday at 12:03 AM

"Yeah, I'm going to live and I'll be able to go home in a few days. They just have to monitor the bruise thing on my brain." He shrugged. "Isley, babe, it's okay. She doesn't have to move."

Ellie-Yesterday at 12:06 AM

Despite Daniel saying that she didn't have to move Ellie half threw herself off the bed, scrambling away from him as she wrapped her arms around herself. A panicked expression covering her face as she watched him carefully, tears sliding down her face, "I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean to hurt him." She turned to Isley, taking a step back while shaking her head, "I didn't mean to."

Isley-Yesterday at 12:09 AM

"No, Ellie, you didn't hurt him. You didn't do anything, okay? He laughed, that's what hurt him." Isley stood, moving to her and placing her hands on her arms. "It's okay, he's fine, love." She moved a hand to her head, stroking her hair.

Daniel-Yesterday at 12:10 AM

Daniel watched in shock, a little too drugged up still to be an adult voice in the conversation. "I'm fine, I promise. I broke a few ribs so I'm just sore, that's all."

Ellie-Yesterday at 12:13 AM

Ellie flinched away from the contact again, shaking her head a little as she kept her eyes on her brother. "Okay." She said quietly, nodding at both of their words, though not convinced that she believed them. "Is your phone okay or do you need a new one? I can go get you a new one."

Isley-Yesterday at 12:17 AM

"We can do that later. Just stay here with us, okay?" Isley didn't take offense as Ellie moved away, she knew that Ellie didn't really like to be touched-non-sexually, anyways. She left Ellie's side, moving back to sit on the edge of Dan's bed. "Come here." She commanded Ellie.(edited)

Daniel-Yesterday at 12:22 AM

Daniel honestly wasn't sure about his phone, he hadn't thought about. That would be two phones down in under a week though. "I'm sorry, guys." He apologized quietly.

Ellie-Yesterday at 12:24 AM

Ellie shook her head at Isley's command, though she shook it off when she noticed that Dan was apologizing. "What do you mean? Why are you apologizing?" She looked to Isley, stepping a little closer though she still kept a good distance, staying about a foot away from the bed as she moved closer towards Daniel's head, "Isley, why is he apologizing, what happened?"

Isley-Yesterday at 12:26 AM

Isley rolled her eyes at his apology. "He's apologizing because he knows he scared us and worried us. Dumb, right?"

Daniel-Yesterday at 12:27 AM

He frowned at Isley's words. "I'm just.. Causing so much trouble and anxiety for you guys and I'm sorry." He shrugged, looking down at the blanket that lay over him.

Ellie-Yesterday at 12:28 AM

"It's not dumb you should be sorry, look at me, I'm crying. I don't cry. There's eyeliner that's smudging, did you even notice how nice it looked?" She asked him, tipping her head to the side a little as she wiped at some of her tears, "And I had to talk to Drew and you're fine. Do you know how mad I am at him?"

Isley-Yesterday at 12:30 AM

Isley laughed, her own tears beginning again. "Honestly, Ellie's had the hardest time."

Daniel-Yesterday at 12:32 AM

Her complaining did make him feel worse, even if he knew (hoped) it wasn't coming from a serious place. "I'm sorry." He apologized again.

Ellie-Yesterday at 12:33 AM

"I have and I'm glad we're finally taking note of this." Ellie agreed half heartedly, wiping at her eyes a little, "Well I obviously forgive you because you're sitting in this stupid hospital but you're going to have to make it up to be somehow. I had to talk to Drew."

Isley-Yesterday at 12:34 AM

"Speaking of this hospital, when was the last time you got your pain meds, baby?" Isley asked, stroking his hair.

Daniel-Yesterday at 12:35 AM

"I don't care about your drama with Drew." He sighed. "You guys should be making up anyways. It was all stupid." He looked at Isley as she spoke. "I don't know.. I think I'm ready for some more though."

Ellie-Yesterday at 12:38 AM

Ellie's eyes slid to the floor as she shifted her weight between her feet, giving a little shrug and very much resembling a child getting in trouble, "It'll figure it out, it's fine." She mumbled, looking back up and watching Isley carefully. "When can you come home?"

Isley-Yesterday at 12:57 AM

She looked back and forth between the two. It was clear Ellie needed to be comforted, but Isley didn't think he could do that. So, as much as she hated it, she decided to leave for a few moments. "I have to pee." Isley said suddenly, standing up and leaving. It wasn't a lie, the babies were sitting right on her bladder, anyways.

Daniel-Yesterday at 12:59 AM

"I'm not really sure. I still have to have surgery on my arm and they said that these contusions can take weeks to heal. They have to keep an eye on mine for at least a few days." He shrugged. "Ellie, come here. I promise you won't hurt me. You can hug me."

Ellie-Yesterday at 1:07 AM

Ellie watched Isley leave, frowning a bit as she was now left alone with her assumingely very breakable brother. "How long is a few days though? Two days? Three days? Four?" When he said that she wasn't going to hurt him she slowly inched forward, sitting on the very edge of his bed, "Are you sure? Isley said to get off you."

Daniel-Yesterday at 1:09 AM

"I'm not sure. They told me that I would probably be here for a week." He hated to think that it could be longer. "Isley is a little over protective right now, that's all. She's just worried."

Ellie-Yesterday at 1:12 AM

Very hesitantly she lowered herself onto him again, resting her head on his chest while she moved her hair out of the way. "You're not supposed to get hurt. I know that's fair of me to want or think, but you're not. You're not even supposed to be able to get hurt a little. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here."

Daniel-Yesterday at 1:14 AM

"I know, Ellie." he wrapped his arm around her. "I'm here and I'm okay. Things will be back to normal in no time."

Ellie-Yesterday at 1:19 AM

"It's not okay though. I'm really really glad that you're okay but it's not okay because you're not actually okay. You're just saying that so I don't start crying on you again. You're not supposed to get hurt because I need you and it's selfish but it's the truth okay? Also what about Rufus? What would he even do? He would hate living with Drew even more than I would hate living with Drew and lets be real Drew would probably let both of us be homeless before we lived with him anyways. I'd be so lonely... You're one of the only people I actually talk to. You have to be okay." She shook her head, sitting up a little so she should look at him, "It's not normal anymore though because what if something else bad happens? Like a car accident or another plane accident or someone tries to murder you?"

Daniel-Yesterday at 7:41 AM

"Accidents happen, it could have been anything. We just have to be prepared, okay? I wasn't this time but I'll make sure that you and Isley are always taken care of if I'm not here." he promised.

Ellie-Yesterday at 9:09 AM

“Accidents aren’t supposed to happen to you though.” Ellie pointed out quietly, closing her eyes as she shifted a bit to get more comfortable. “I love you so much. I’m sorry that I’m always awful to you and make you worry and stress and spend your money on stupid shit.”

Daniel-Yesterday at 9:13 AM

"I love you too. That's why I put up with all of that." He teased. "I want to be okay without me though, okay? We need to start working toward that."

Ellie-Yesterday at 9:16 AM

“I don’t want to be without you though.” Ellie replied softly, still keeping her eyes closed as she frowned at his words, “What do you mean? Why do we need to do that?”

Daniel-Yesterday at 9:17 AM

"Because you need to be able to take care of yourself, Ellie. We'll get you a savings account." He suggested.

Ellie-Yesterday at 9:23 AM

“I can take care of myself...” She attempted to argue it but it came out more like a child telling their parent that they can do something themselves that everyone knew they couldn’t. “What am I even supposed to do with that?”

Daniel-Yesterday at 9:24 AM

"Okay." He nodded his head, not wanting to argue with her then. "You put money into it from each paycheck so that if something ever comes up you have it. I'll put some in there to start you off and then you can start adding to it."

Ellie-Yesterday at 9:32 AM

“You don’t have to put your money in there. You need to start keeping it for the babies you know. They’re going to need things more than I do.” Ellie moved some of her hair away from her face, opening her eyes again as she blinked tiredly, “We’re going to need to get you a new phone so you can FaceTime with Rufus. He’s going to be really worried.”

Daniel-Yesterday at 9:34 AM

He wasn't going to argue that he probably should stop throwing money around like it was growing on trees. Not that he had ever run into issues with money, but he had been a lot more frivolous with his spending since being in Chicago. "Yeah, okay. You can go get me a phone if you want to. I don't know where my wallet is or anything, but I'm sure we can ask a nurse and she'll get it for you."

Ellie-Yesterday at 9:38 AM

“Well I can’t stay here forever because someone has to take care of Rufus and I don’t think Isley is ever going to leave and if you don’t have a phone I can’t check on you. I need to know that you’re okay and Isley might lie to me if you’re not okay. I know you’re fine now but one Grey’s Anatomy this doctor got into a plane crash and he was really really hurt and then he got better and then he died and I need to know you’re okay.”

Daniel-Yesterday at 9:39 AM

"Okay, we'll call a nurse in." He went to move his arm but the pain in his side started up again so he paused. "Will you press that button?" He asked, pointing to the red button on the side of the bed.

Ellie-Yesterday at 9:42 AM

Ellie sat up as he paused, looking him over carefully, “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” She watched him for another second before leaning over, pressing the red button several times before she looked back at Daniel, reminding herself that she needed to be extra careful with him.

Daniel-Yesterday at 9:45 AM

"The pain killers are wearing off a little." He explained, wincing a little. When the nurse finally spoke through the intercom, Daniel explained that he was in some pain and needed someone to come in. A nurse arrived shortly after to put more medication in his IV. "Is there any way someone can get my wallet for me?" He asked her and she nodded her head before disappearing and coming back with a small bag that contained his clothes and his wallet. She handed the wallet to him and he picked his card out to hand to Ellie.

Ellie-Yesterday at 9:53 AM

Ellie sat up, not removing herself from the bed, but carefully balancing so that she wasn’t putting any of her weight on him. She wrapped her arms around her legs, resting her chin on her knees. Her eyes followed the nurse, some mixture of distrust and curiously on her face while she watched the woman move. When she returned with his clothes Ellie took the card, still eyeing the woman before turning back to her brother, “doesn’t it bother you at all that she could literally kill you?” She asked, scooting a little closer to him and whispering so she wouldn’t be overheard

Daniel-Yesterday at 9:54 AM

"Well it didn't." He scoffed. "Nobody is going to kill me. Quit being so pessimistic. I have to stay positive."

Ellie-Yesterday at 9:58 AM

“I want you to stay positive I just don’t get it.” Ellie replied, moving a little so she could continue to stare at the nurse, “I feel like they always know something they’re not telling us.”

Daniel-Yesterday at 9:58 AM

"They're just trying to help, think of it that way." He shrugged.

Ellie-Yesterday at 10:02 AM

“Maybe...” she shook her head, sliding off his bed, “What kind of phone do you want? I’ll go get it and bring it back, then I’ll go home and Rufus can face time you. Is there anything else you want?”

Daniel-Yesterday at 10:03 AM

"Just whatever. I like iPhones. Maybe the newer one but I've gone through two this week so whatever they have in stock right now is fine. I can't think of anything else I want."

Isley-Yesterday at 1:19 PM

After she felt like she had given them a significant amount of time together, and after she couldn’t stand to be apart from Daniel any longer, Isley reentered the room. She immediately found her place by Daniel’s side, smiling at him. “Hey El, are you spending the night here with us? Or are you going home?”

Ellie-Yesterday at 4:33 PM

Ellie shook her head at the question, moving to grab her heels from their spot on the floor. “I need to feed Rufus. He’s going to be hungry and lonely. I’m gonna go get Danny a new phone though so I’ll be back in a bit.”

Daniel-Yesterday at 4:34 PM

"Thank you, Ellie. I love you so much." The pain killers were starting to hit again and he rest against his pillow again, grabbing Isley's hand.

Isley-Yesterday at 4:35 PM

Taking his hand, she turned to Ellie. "I need you to do me a huge favor. I need lots of stuff from home, and I need you to buy me something."

Ellie-Yesterday at 4:51 PM

“I love you too.” She smiled softly, before looking over at Isley, raising an eyebrow. “Um okay, I guess. What do you need?”

Isley-Yesterday at 4:55 PM

"Well..." Isley looked over at Dan with a smile. "I need you to get me a wedding dress."

Ellie-Yesterday at 4:56 PM

Ellie pulled out her phone, ready to make a list before pausing, switching out of her list to instead send a text to Drew. "What do you mean a wedding dress?"

Isley-Yesterday at 4:57 PM

"I mean a wedding dress. We're getting married. Tomorrow. Here."

Ellie-Yesterday at 4:58 PM

"Are you?" Ellie asked, looking up from her phone with a small frown.

Isley-Yesterday at 5:00 PM

"Yeah. Daniel proposed." Isley frowned back at Ellie.

Ellie-Yesterday at 5:01 PM

"Did he?" She looked at her brother, before looking back at Isley. "Okay."

Daniel-Yesterday at 5:03 PM

Daniel gave her a confused look "Is there a problem?"

Ellie-Yesterday at 5:04 PM

Ellie watched him for a minute before shaking her head, "No, everything's fine. You should get some sleep."

Isley-Yesterday at 5:04 PM

Isley looked back and forth between them. "I have to pee again." She left the room abruptly.

Ellie-Yesterday at 5:11 PM

Ellie watched her leave before turning to Danny again, "Hey, I'm going to go get your phone okay? I'll be back in an hour or so."

Daniel-Yesterday at 5:14 PM

"Okay.. I'll see you later." His speech was beginning to slow from the medication.

Ellie-Yesterday at 5:34 PM

Ellie returned a few hours later, walking into the room and handing him the phone that she'd made the poor man at the apple store set up for her. "Here you are. There's no password right now and it's set up to your last backup so you shouldn't notice much of a difference between your last phone and this one. I also brought you some snacks."

Daniel-Yesterday at 5:37 PM

Daniel had dozed off, peacefully now that he wasn't feeling much of the pain happening. When Ellie returned, he had just been waken up by a nurse who was taking a blood sample from him. "Oh, thank you." He took the phone and looked it over. "And thank you for the snacks." He said with a small smile, though he had been being forced to eat that day because he just didn't feel up to it.

Ellie-Yesterday at 5:42 PM

She dug around in the bags she'd brought, pointing to various foods, "I brought you some fruit, fruit snacks minus one package because I was hungry, granola bars, cookies, cereal even though it's mostly just sugar, capri sun because they're delicious, cookies, and some other shit. I just didn't really know what you wanted to eat so I figured that I'd get you a variety. Also I'm not going to get Isley a dress because I don't think that you guys should be getting married right now and I'm going to go before she wakes up, but I'll call you in a bit so you can see Rufus and I can make it obvious that I've fed him."

Daniel-Yesterday at 5:47 PM

"Hey wait!" He tried to sit up but was stopped as the pain hit him, causing him to groan as he fell back against the bed. He really had to stop doing that. "Why are you against us getting married?"

Ellie-Yesterday at 5:51 PM

Ellie's eyes widened as she watched him, putting her hands out though she wasn't entirely sure how to help. "Don't do that! Are you okay?" She shook her head, taking a deep breath, "I'm not against you getting married Danny, if that's what you want then that's what you should do. I'm against you getting married right now though. Last week you didn't want to get married. Three days ago you didn't want to get married. I know that trauma and whatnot can make you change your mind about things but I want you to be a little better before you make this decision. I want it to be a decision you make with a clear mind, not right after you get a traumatic brain injury. I don't want you to do anything you regret."

Daniel-Yesterday at 5:53 PM

"I'm okay." He took in a deep breath to push through the pain. "Ellie... Isley couldn't get in to see me because they don't consider her family. If we were married and something happened, she would be able to be notified and she would be able to get right in to me. I want our babies to have the same last name as their mother. I almost died, things got put into perspective. I can think clearly right now. I'm talking to you, aren't I? Do I seem off?"

Ellie-Yesterday at 5:57 PM

"You can change your emergency contact without getting married to someone. I could literally make a stranger my emergency contact and they would be notified and let in the room if anything happened." Ellie pointed out, crossing her arms over her stomach as she frowned a little, "Danny I get what you're saying, which is why I'm not saying I'm against it as a whole. I'm not going to help or support this right now though. I love you, but I can't help this. I don't want to be any part of this because it doesn't matter that you're talking to me right now. You hurt yourself, really badly. I'll support the decision when the doctor gives you an all clear and you don't need pain meds just to exist."

Daniel-Yesterday at 6:00 PM

He frowned at her words and shook his head. "Well, that's your decision. I love her and I'm not going to regret anything. I know what I'm doing."

Ellie-Yesterday at 6:04 PM

Ellie nodded, offering him a smile, "Okay." She wasn't going to tell him not to do it, so there wasn't much else to say, "Let me know if you need anything else okay? I'm going to head home."

Daniel-Yesterday at 6:06 PM

"Okay.." He felt awful that his sister refused to be a part of things but what else could he say? "Have a good night."

Isley-Yesterday at 6:08 PM

Isley woke up a few moments later to find Daniel...on a phone? "Hey," She said sleepily. "Did Ellie come by?"

Daniel-Yesterday at 6:09 PM

He nodded slowly "Yeah.. She brought me my phone and some food." He gestured to the food she had left.

Isley-Yesterday at 6:09 PM

"Did she bring me a dress?" She sat up and looked around the room.(edited)

Daniel-Yesterday at 6:15 PM

"She doesn't want us to get married." He was blunt about it, mostly because he was too medicated to be diplomatic.

Isley-Yesterday at 6:16 PM

Isley didn't understand. "She what?"

Daniel-Yesterday at 6:20 PM

"She doesn't want us to get married." he repeated with a sigh. "She said that we shouldn't do it while I'm still in the hospital. She doesn't think I'm thinking clearly."

Isley-Yesterday at 6:28 PM

That thought had crossed Isley's mind already, but Daniel had assured her he was. "You are, though, right?"

Daniel-Yesterday at 6:29 PM

"I mean, I think so.."

Isley-Yesterday at 6:29 PM

"Well that's very reassuring."

Daniel-Yesterday at 6:30 PM

He put his phone down as he lay back, looking up at the ceiling. "I think I'm just going to go back to sleep."

Isley-Yesterday at 6:31 PM

"I-Okay." She said, not wanting to stress him out even more. "Night."

Daniel-Yesterday at 6:39 PM

"Goodnight." He said softly, closing his eyes and drifting off.

#c:eb #c:iw

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