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#eddie realised he was in love with buck when he was shot
honestlyeddie-im-bi · 7 months
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I’m in such an “Eddie fell first and thinks Buck could never want him but Buck will realise he is in love with Eddie, it will hit him like a brick in the face, and he will start biting if they don’t get married like yesterday” mood and I think that’s valid
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lyjen · 3 months
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When you’re home
A request by @shauna-carsley ☺️
Summary: She always texts or calls him when she’s home safe. But when she doesn’t, Evan gets worried. Until he goes on a call and meets her there. But not in the way Evan hoped to see her.
9-1-1 Masterlist
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“Yes, I did bought you cocoa powder like you asked me to. But you do realise it’s a little bit too hot outside to be drinking hot chocolate right?” (Y/n) said as she walked through the exit of the grocery store. Her phone was in her right hand, holding it to her ear. While a paper sack filled with groceries was resting between her body and her left arm.
Evan chuckled through the phone at her words. “Yeah I know. It’s not for hot chocolate though.” He answered her question. A confused frown appeared on her face as she continued to walk down the street. “Well.. Are you gonna tell me why you made me buy it?” She asked him. “Hmm. You know what? No, you’ll see it for yourself tonight.” Evan’s voice answered back. “Wh-“ As (y/n) wanted to react at what Evan told her, she hears a loud alarm through the phone. “Oh, shit. Gotta go. What did you want to say?” his voice sounded through the phone.
A soft chuckle left her mouth as she shook her head at Evan’s sudden rush in his voice. Somehow, whenever Evan was on shift and called with (Y/n) on the phone, the alarm would go off.
“Nothing, just.. be careful, and I love you.”
A smile appeared on Evan’s face when she said those exact words. It made his heart melt right on the spot, just like it did when she said it the first time about 10 years ago. They met when they went to high school together. In senior year, to be exact.
As Evan wants to say something to end the call, he hears a familiar voice calling his name. “Buck! Quit chit chatting with my sister, we’ve got to go!” Eddie’s voice sounded through the station. “Yeah, yeah! I’m coming Diaz!” He yells back at his best friend. He hears (Y/n)’s giggle through the speaker of his phone which he was holding against his ear. He sighs.
“I love you too. I’ll see you tonight. Text me when you’re home, okay?” Evan says. He always wanted to make sure that she’d get home safe. Even if it was just a small text that contained an emoji of a house, or the exact words, or just a phone call. “Hmm, I will... be safe out there.” and with those words she clicked on the red button to end the phone call.
(Y/n) locked her phone again and put it into the small shoulder bag she had with her. It couldn’t hold much, but held the necessary things such as her: phone, wallet and keys. That was enough. She readjusted the weight she was holding between her body and her left arm, and switched it to her right arm. That was the arm that had more strength and endurance.
She continues her way home, which was maybe fifteen to twenty minutes away. She passes by street after street in the LA weather. (Y/n) comes to a stop when she clicks the button to turn the pedestrian traffic light to green. She waits for a few seconds, but when the lights jumps from red to green, she steps with her feet on the asphalt and starts walking towards the other end of the pedestrian crossing.
She hears the sound of squealing tires coming from not too far from her. Her head shot towards her right, as she sees the source of the sound turning around the corner with a rapidity definitely above the speed limit. The car was swinging from the left to the right like it was possessed. (Y/n) has no time to react to what is happening.
But before she knew it, the bag with groceries was blown out of her right arm and she was facing the blue sky.
Her ears are ringing. An annoying high frequency noise is ringing through her ears. (Y/n)’s vision was blurry and partly overexposed. It was like someone was shining a flashlight in her face, and wouldn’t turn it off. She could hear muffled voices, but she couldn’t hear clearly what they were saying. It was like her ears were underwater. Her head felt like it was beating out of her skin.
She squeezes her eyes shut to try and let her eyes get used to the bright light. But it wouldn’t stop. Until a figure starts hoovering over her body.
Evan hopped down the steps of the truck following Eddie out. His mouth left a sigh, as he shrugged off his florescent jacket and hang it underneath his last name. Before he could let go of his jacket, the loud alarm rang again through the firehouse. His eyes closed as he sighs again. “Ah come on!” he says with a defeated look. He just wanted to take a shower. He felt dirty, his body was sweating, his face was full with ashes from last call.
He could hear Eddie laughing at his reaction. “Okay who said the Q-word?” Evan says as he looks at every person around him now. They didn’t answer, they just put on their jackets and hopped back into the truck. Evan sighs as he rips his florescent jacket from the hook and also took place in the truck.
The drive was quiet. Everyone was tired from last call, they wanted to eat, drink and relax for a bit. “Somebody must have said the Q-word. Otherwise this would not have happened.” Evan says, still sure of his conclusion. Nobody reacted to his words, Evan looked around him in the back of the truck. Waiting for someone to respond to him. “Ravi.” Is the only thing what left Eddie’s mouth. “Yeah I know right! It must’ve been him! I told hi-“ Evan reacts. “No. Ravi.” Eddie cuts him off as he points outside the window.
When the truck came to a stop, they immediately left the rig. Evan saw Ravi walking towards Bobby. “Buck, Eddie, stand by. Hen and Chim follow me.” Bobby ordered. Eddie and Evan had to stay back because if they needed equipment, it was faster. Instead of them running back and forth.
Evan in the meanwhile had now time to check his phone. He let his back fall against the truck as he grabs his phone out of his pocket. He unlocks his screen to take a look at his notifications. “Hmm” he made a think-full noise. Eddie lets himself fall with his back against the truck too. “What’s up?” Eddie asked when he heard Evan’s confused sound. “Before our last call, I was calling with (Y/n).” Evan started. “Yes.. and?” Eddie answered with a confused look projected on his face. “I always tell her to text me when she gets home. But it has been.. what?.. One hour since we called and she still hasn’t texted me.” He tells with a worried voice. “Maybe she went to another store? Or simply forgot.” Eddie tries to calm him down before he makes any other conclusions like the Q-word from a few minutes ago. “Eddie, Buck, I need a backboard and another medic bag here.” He hears Bobby’s voice through the radio. “Copy that cap.” Eddie answered Bobby through his radio, and he patted his hand on Evan’s shoulder.
He nodded. Maybe Eddie was right, maybe Evan was just seeing things that weren’t there. He clicks on the on/off button to lock his phone again and let it slide back into his pocket. He opens the compartment to slide out the backboard while Eddie gets the medic bag. As suddenly Bobby is walking towards Buck and Eddie.
“Something wrong cap? Do you need anything?” Buck asks, while he closes the compartment. “I think you both may want to sit this one out.” Is the only thing Bobby says. A confused look spreads over Evan’s and Eddie’s face. Bobby never said that to him. The only time he said that was when he got back from revalidation, after the fire truck accident. Evan and Eddie look at each other, asking each other without any words what the hell was going on. “Uhm.. why?” Evan asks Bobby. As he looks to his side to try and peek at the scene. “You both are too personal involved at this call, I’m just trying to look out for you.” Bobby says.
Too personal involved? What did that mean? Who was close to Eddie and him? The question was ringing through Evan’s head while Eddie was talking with Bobby now. Until it hit him. Literally a minute ago he was talking about his girlfriend, his guts were telling him something wasn’t right.
Shit.
Bobby ends the conversation with both Eddie and Evan and turns to walk away. When Evan stops him in his movement by grabbing his arm. “Is it (Y/n)?” Evan asks with a trembling voice as he lets go of his captains arm. Bobby’s eyes shot from Eddie to Evan. And softly nodded his head. “Yes. It’s (Y/n).” He confirms.
Evan felt like the world was suddenly on fire and broke down piece, by piece.
Evan grabbed the backboard he had already out and put it underneath his arm. “Too personal involved my ass.” Evan’s voice spoke as he passed Bobby and ran as fast as he could with the backboard he was carrying. As he comes closer, and closer. He recognises the dress out of a thousand. It was the dress (y/n) wore this morning when he left the house to go on shift this exact morning. It’s the dress she wore on their date night two weeks ago. The green dress that made him go crazy. But that green dress was now partly underneath a car. Her groceries were spread over the whole scene. He was sure he passed by a package of cocoa in his speed.
Evan drops the backboard he was carrying when he was close enough to his girlfriend. She was sobbing. Chimney was sitting at her side, while Hen was in the car dealing with the driver. Evan kneeled down on the ground next to the side of (Y/n). “Hey.. hey, I’m here. I’m with you.” Evan says as he grabs her free hand. “Buck?” She cries. She has a neck brace around her neck. “I’m here baby.” He says softly as he brings his mouth towards her hand and plants a kiss on it. He was panicking. “You’re gonna be okay.” He reassured her.
The driver was already evacuated from his car. “Vitals are trembling downwards” Chimney says as he rips his stethoscope from his ears. “Alright, let’s get her out from underneath the car. Get her on the backboard and transported right now!” Bobby orders his crew. Evan grabbed the backboard he had dropped beside him just a minute ago. And put it down right above her head, so they could slide her from underneath the car on the backboard in one smooth movement. “Ready? On three. One.. two… three.” And with that she was on the backboard. The puddle of blood from her head was still lying on the asphalt.
One more time they counted down to three as they pulled up the backboard and put (y/n) on the gurney. The gurney gets pushed into the back of the ambulance.
(Y/n)’s eyes starts rolling as she goes unconscious. “We’re losing her! We’ve got to intubate her.” Eddie says as he rips off his stethoscope. Chimney stops Eddie from getting a tube out of one of the compartments. “When you put that tube in, there’s a chance it will never come back out.” Chimney warns Eddie, it was his sister after all. Eddie looks at Evan, waiting for his answer. Evan closes his eyes for one millisecond. As he nods in agreement to intubate her, he knew that if they waited any longer, he’d lose her. “I’m going with her.” Evan says as he joined Eddie in the back of the ambulance, and the backdoors closed.
_________
Waiting, waiting, and more waiting. Evan feels like he is going crazy. Eddie and Evan have been here for hours, drinking the grossest hospital coffee to stay awake. The rest of the 118 stops by every now and then, with food and drinks.
“(Y/n) Diaz?” A doctor calls through the waiting room. Eddie and Evan both stand up, and walk towards the doctor. “Follow me please.” The female doctor says as she walks through the hall way. This was weird. This has never happened before. Normally they would tell the family the results in the waiting room. Something wasn’t right. “Take a seat.” she says as she points at the two chairs in front of what Evan assumed to be her desk. Both of them take place, as Evan’s heartbeat started to fasten. The doctor sat down in her office chair and flipped open the folder with documents. She shortly introduces herself to the two men, as she continues to bring the news of (y/n). “Due to the accident, mrs Diaz suffered a severe head trauma, together with a broken left leg and a possible spinal injury.” the doctor says. Both Eddie and Evan are silent. Evan’s heart starts pounding like it was trying to leave his chest. And he starts tapping his feet at the ground in a fast rhythm. “Im sorry I don’t have any better news than this now.” She continued as she tries to fill the silence in the room. Evan sighs as he tries to calm himself down. He was scared.
“Okay but.. how is she doing? Is she awake?” Eddie asks the doctor. The doctor is looking down at the documents. “We’ve worked on her left leg, she has now pins and screws helping to heal the bones in her leg. Due to her spinal injury, I’m afraid she may suffer paralysis to the lower body.. I can’t say if this is temporary or permanent. As for your question if she’s awake, I’m afraid she’s not. She’s in a coma, because of the head injury, and she’s also still intubated.” The doctor explains the situation.
It felt for Evan like the world was falling apart. At this moment, everything that was being said turned into muffled sounds. The kind of sounds you’d hear if you were falling a sleep. “How did this even happen?” Eddie asked the doctor. “We did a few tests on the driver, and it turned out he was under the influence of alcohol.” Evan looked up at the doctor, but he doesn’t say anything. A thousand different emotions are projected on his face and rushing through his veins. His heart tightened in his chest at the words that just came out of the doctor’s mouth. Evan could hear his breathing become more and more rapid. He could still hear how Eddie and the doctor were talking, discussing some things.
But for Evan it’s becoming all too much. He has the feeling that he needs to leave the room. Right. Fucking. now. In one fast movement he stands up and storms out of the room. He hears how the door slams shut behind him, as he grabs his chest to try and calm himself down. He walks down the hall and slams with his fist on the first wall he sees. Tears were welling in his eyes. He couldn’t lose her. Not like this.
He lets his back fall against the wall and let himself slide downward. He closes his arms around his knees, as tears rolls down his cheeks. He sobs. He couldn’t believe how his world got turned upside down in a flash.
“I think it’s better for you if you take a break, Buck.” Eddie told Evan. He hasn’t left the room since he came in this morning. Eddie puts his hand on Evan’s shoulder, and gave him a soft squeeze. Evan knew Eddie was just looking out for him, so he knew it was best to not go against Eddie. Evan just nods, leaves a soft kiss on (y/n)’s hand and patted Eddie on his shoulder before he left the room.
“Hey sis..” he starts, as he takes place on the chair where Evan was sitting just a few seconds ago. He sighs. “Mi dios, I don’t even know what to say..” he continued. He lays his right hand on hers, which was connected with the IV tube. He lets his eyes wander over her bruised body and the tube that was in her mouth. He sighs at the sight of it. “It breaks my heart, seeing you like this..” he goes on after a minute of silence. It was his little sister, lying in the hospital bed. He was closest to (y/n) than to any of his other sisters. He could tell her everything.
Eddie takes a look behind him and sees how Evan is standing in front of the window with his back towards the room. Eddie could sense that Evan was struggling with himself, he didn’t know how to act or how to feel.
“You know how Buck is with emotions. But I can see he’s reaching his breaking point.” He says as he turns back towards (y/n). The beeps and other sounds make Eddie feel sick. It felt like Eddie was reliving everything what happened with Shannon all over again. “I can tell you, it’s not just Buck who’s reaching his breaking point.. I’m trying to stay strong for you and for Chris.. but the truth is, I don’t know how much longer I can do this (y/n).” Eddie continues. His voice is breaking, sounding like he could burst out in tears with a snap of his fingers.
It has been a week since the accident, both Evan and Eddie were here for as long as they could each day. Eddie still had Chris to look after, but luckily his Abuela was there whenever he needed her. Chris went on and on asking about his aunt (Y/n), where she was, how she was doing.. But every single time Chris would mention her, Eddie could feel his heart racing in his chest. He didn’t want to worry Chris. So he just told him that she was busy.
“Please.. I need you to fight. Fight to come back to us. Because.. I don’t know if I can survive another loss. Especially if it’s you.” He tries to wipe away his tears with his left hand, while he squeezes hers with his right hand. “Buck can’t lose you. I can’t lose you. Not like this..” he cries. He couldn’t stop his tears.
He cried until there weren’t any tears left to cry, Eddie is still sitting in the chair. His left elbow leaning on his left knee to give him some support, as his right hand still remained on her hand. Eddie was just looking at his feet, thinking about all different kind of scenarios of what could happen. Eddie flinched as someone touches his shoulder. It was Evan with two cardboard to go cups in his hands. “Here..” Evan says as he holds out the cardboard cup towards Eddie. “Thanks.” He says as he accepts the cup from Evan with his left hand, and puts it on the small table next to the chair he was sitting on.
As suddenly the fingers of her left hand he was holding, started to move. He could feel the small movements underneath the palm of his hand. Slowly he moved his head, so he could look at her hand. Her fingers were definitely moving. His eyes shot towards her face. Eddie stood up from his chair as he took place next to the side of her bed. “Eddie? What’s wrong?” Evan’s voice said when he puts his coffee down on the same small table. Evan took place next to the other side of the bed.
“She moved..” Eddie says, not really knowing if this was real or not. “Wait. what?” Evan reacts as he looks at Eddie. “She moved her fingers Buck. Look.” Eddie says as he removes his hand off hers. Evan takes a look at her hand, he could see her fingers twitching.
Evan’s eyes wandered towards her face. Her eyelids were slowly opening. Eddie pushed the alarm button in the room for a doctor or nurse to get in and help. Step by step, her eye lids opened wider and wider. Until she was fully conscious. A smile appeared on Evan’s face when his eyes met hers. But her face went to a scared look when she realised what was happening. Her leg was torturing her and it felt like her head was about to explode. She wanted to scream but feels like she can’t. Panic rushed through her veins. She wanted to feel what was on her face, connecting to her mouth. But before her right hand could touch it, Evan stopped her by grabbing her hand. “No.. no.” He whispered when he grabbed her hand en put it on his chest. Tears are leaving the corner of her eyes.
___________
Temporary paralysis to the lower body. That is what she got from crossing the street with a green light. Together with some cruel nightmares. Every time when she closed her eyes she would relive that same moment. She would wake up crying, screaming and sweating.
(Y/n) is sitting in her wheelchair as she tries to reach for her keys, which were lying on the kitchen island. She reaches out as far as she could, basically pushing her body almost into the wooden construction of the kitchen. She sighs. This isn’t gonna work. Evan was sleeping, he came home late from shift last night. She didn’t want to wake him and ask him to grab her keys if she was so close to getting it herself. (Y/n) just had to push through. She could do this.. right?
The last weeks she had appointments with a physiotherapist, to try and get her ability to walk back again. But there weren’t any results yet. She was getting impatient, it was like everything she did all the trouble she went through, didn’t do anything for her legs.
(Y/n) puts her hands on the arm rests of the wheelchair she was sitting in, and with all her strength she has in her arms pushes herself to her feet. For a second, it feels like she’s the old (y/n) again. But then with all of gravity’s help, she falls to the side with her butt on the ground. “For fuck sake!” She yells, as she pushes the wheelchair with every single piece of annoyance and anger she has in her to the other side of the room. She didn’t want to have anything to do with it. She can walk. She knows it. She did it before this stupid accident so she can do it again. She didn’t need a wheelchair.
A loud bang roars through the room.
Tears were rolling down her cheeks. She feels like a failure. Frustrated she puts her hands in her hair and starts pulling some hairs from her scalp.
Evan shot up at the sound of a bang. With sleepy eyes, which were still half closed. He sweeps his arm beside him, searching for his girlfriend. “(Y/n)?” He says softly as he now takes a look beside him and doesn’t spot her. He pulls off the covers and steps out of bed as he makes his way through his house, searching for his girlfriend.
“(Y/n)?” Her name sounds through the house. His eyes fall on the wheelchair which was now in the corner of the kitchen. He furrowed his brows, as he notices it. Evan hears a soft sob. He follows the sound, but then he sees his girlfriend between the kitchen island and the counter, on the ground. With tears falling down her face.
“Hey! Hey! hey! What happened?” Evan asks with a concerned voice as he rushes to her side, letting himself fall down on his knees. She didn’t answer. He puts a hand on her shoulder, as he tries to make eye contact with her.
Still no answer.
Evan lets himself sit down on his butt next to her, as he crosses his legs. His hand which was on her shoulder, now makes its way towards her back as he makes small circles on it. Once again he tries to make eye contact with her.
“I can’t..” she sobs.
“You can’t.. what?” He asks confused. She wipes her hand underneath her eyes, as she tries to wipe away some tears. “Do simple shit. Like getting my fucking keys from the damn’ kitchen counter.” She cries.
Evan’s mouth left out a sigh. He moves himself to sit more across of her. Pieces of hair were sticking to her face because of the tears. He brushes a few strands of hair behind her ear. His fingers trace down from her ear towards her cheek.
“But.. We’ve come so far..” he starts. “Buck! I’ve been doing this for weeks now, maybe months.. and I still don’t see any fucking progress.” she yells as she bangs her fist on the side of the kitchen island.
“That time will come. You just need to be patient.” Evan tried to reassure her. “Time. Yeah.. sure. How much fucking time does it need?!” she continued on. “(Y/n)-“ he starts. “And don’t you dare to say ‘I know how you feel’ because you fucking don’t!” (Y/n) snapped back at Evan.
Evan shook his head.
“Oh so.. I haven’t been pinned down by a firetruck? I haven’t broke my leg and not been able to work for months, just like you? I haven’t been stuck in a wheelchair just like you?” Evan shot back at her. “It’s not the same.” She said under her breath, as she started fidgeting with her fingers. And looks down at her hands.
“You know what.. you’re right…” (Y/n) looked up at Evan as he said that. “I don’t know how it feels to be stuck to that chair. To not feel your own legs. But what I do know is that I had someone to rely on. And that person was you. You dragged me through that horrible period of my life.” Evan said while he intensely looked into her eyes. He had to make sure the message came over. “So right now. I need you to do the damn’ same. So go ahead, push me away. Punch me, I don’t care. But I will still be here at the end of the day. For you. Because I love you.” Evan ended his speech.
She just looks at him. A moment of silence seemed to be created in between the yelling of (Y/n) and the speech of Evan.
“I’m sorry.” She whispers. As tears were again rolling down her cheeks. “Come here..” Evan says as he reels her into him. He cupped one hand on the back of her head, and rested the other hand around her waist. She sobs into the crook of his neck, a wet spot seems to be created on his t shirt. He plants a kiss on the side of her head.
“We’ll be alright..”
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littlespoonevan · 1 month
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I watched the first three seasons of 911 back when that was all that had aired and just didn’t keep watching after the break between seasons for whatever reason. I also didn’t really get buddie, I just thought it was a beautiful friendship. I’m now on a rewatch and just got to the end of season 4 and boy am I all in, Buck’s reaction to Eddie getting shot and the aftermath really made me get it. Anyway, I was wondering if you have any fic recs for a buddie newbie? I’m probably gonna speed through the rest of the show in a few days and need something else to occupy me hahah
hey bud, welcome back to the world of 911!! 🥰 okay so i have some previous fic recs that i've posted here and i also have 489 bookmarks on ao3 which you can have a scroll through here (i only ever bookmark something for rereading or reccing purposes so can confirm i've read and loved them all)
but i'll do my best to make a somewhat cohesive list below of some of my personal faves. i have no doubt i'll probably leave some out accidentally but they'll definitely be in my bookmarks so 100% check those out too!! ❤️
The Nearness of You by allisonRW96 / @homerforsure
Eddie reassured himself that he could do this. Other teams coming in were probably going to be staying at the same hotel in the same double rooms and it was very possible that none of them were going to be having sex. Or even lying awake at night thinking about it. Or: Buck and Eddie go on a work trip.
Leave the Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by HMSLusitania / @hmslusitania
“We’re here for our grandson,” Helena says. “Chris is still sleeping,” Buck says. “I meant, we’re here to take him back to Texas,” Helena clarifies. “Yeah,” Buck says. He’s too tired, way too tired to be tactful. “Over my dead body.” -- An accident on a call leaves Buck with custody of Chris after Eddie is... missing presumed. While they navigate their new family circumstances -- and fight to stay together, despite Eddie's parents' best efforts -- a John Doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named Christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home.
To Build a Home We Deconstruct Our Rituals by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels /@letmetellyouaboutmyfeels
After the shooting, Eddie realizes he needs to put some things in place. Like who will get his assets if he dies. Who will speak for him if he ends up in a coma. What might happen if his family contests Buck's guardianship. Luckily, he's got a simple easy-peasy solution that won't result in insanity, catastrophe, or heartbreak: Marry Buck.
standing on the brink of emptiness by woodchoc_magnum / @woodchoc-magnum
In which Eddie is struggling in the aftermath of being shot, learning how to take care of himself and realising he's in love with Buck; and Buck is dating Taylor, taking care of Eddie and Christopher and trying to figure out why he's so goddamn confused about everything.
across our great divide (a glorious sunrise) by catchingpapermoons 
“We’re working on it,” Maddie explains, shooting Chimney a look. He nods seriously. “In couples therapy.” “Huh,” Eddie says, and then he thinks about it. "Do you think Buck and I would benefit from couples therapy?" — or, Eddie gets Buck to come to couples therapy with him.
darling, the future's better than yesterday by rarakiplin (gmontys)
Eddie, ten years younger, in this awful 2010, blinks up at him. He's still sitting slumped on the curb, and for a second Buck thinks he might tell him to fuck off, but then his eyes fall shut and there’s something — aching and painfully vulnerable in the bend of his mouth, the faint tension in his brow. “My…um, girlfriend, I guess. She’s pregnant.” “Holy shit,” Buck says. - or, buck deals with some wonky dimensional/time travel and then breaks up with his girlfriend. eddie, obviously, is involved.
i'm here (i’m yours for the taking) by farfromthstars / @buckactuallys
“Everyone!” Around forty heads turn, and Buck shifts on his feet uncomfortably at the attention. “This is my old friend Buck and his husband, Eddie.” “Uh,” Buck makes, turning to Eddie with wide eyes. Eddie's looking just as stunned. “Connor, I think you got–” He cuts himself off when Eddie wraps an arm around his waist. ~ at the winter wedding of an old friend, buck and eddie pretend to be married to each other. the plan has no weaknesses, obviously, not even mistletoe or anyone’s secret feelings… they call it the season of giving i'm here, i'm yours for the taking
Your Fingerprints Smeared on My Heart (Lead Me Back to You) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels
In 1880, Evan Buckley of the arriviste set is sent out west to oversee his family's railroad and recover from a broken heart - and meets Eddie Diaz, cowboy. When fate tears them apart, they make a promise: find each other again. In 2018, Buck walks into his fire station in Los Angeles - and meets Eddie Diaz, new recruit.
no kingdom to come by waywardrenegades
Family, FaceTime, guilt trips, phone calls, church, heart healthy meals, and learning how to let yourself be happy. Whatever that looks like. or; when his father experiences a health scare, Eddie flies to El Paso.
when i was shipwrecked (i thought of you) by catchingpapermoons 
Buck walks toward Jee-Yun’s room, still talking, and Christopher trails after him, asking excited questions in response, and Eddie’s smile grows. He wants this forever. Everything, every part of it; Buck, Christopher, and him—that’s all he needs. And— Oh. Oh no. He shuts his eyes for a moment, inhaling sharply. He’s looking at Buck, and feeling something strictly not platonic at all. or: Eddie needs to learn how to let himself feel, and one step at a time, he learns how to do just that. (And he falls in love with Buck along the way.)
i don't swim and you're not in love by hattalove / @hattalove
She turns to Eddie and says something else, but Buck is busy fighting the headrush he gets at the sound of Ana Flores calling Eddie and Christopher 'the boys'. Like they belong to her already. God, what’s wrong with him? What is this? or, eddie cooks, chris domesticates a slug, and buck tries to figure out why he hates his best friend's girlfriend. to everyone's immense shock and surprise, it goes badly.
everything's coming up milhouse by hammersmiths / @bucktommys
LAFD Updates (@L*A*F*D_Metro) LAFD Alert: Red-level traffic on Gardiner Road this morning. If you are trying to get into the city centre consider taking Westerley Lane. buck 🔥🔥 (@firebuck) so true bestie or, Eddie mans the LAFD Twitter account. Buck tries to be supportive.
said i couldn't stay, but it's different now by hattalove
“I think,” he says, watching Karen pull Hen out onto the dance floor, their eyes never leaving each other’s, “I think I’m just—sad.” Maybe. That feels like a close enough word to describe this gaping maw right in the center of his chest. It’s only really there sometimes, taking little bites out of him, easy enough to ignore, but today is worse. “About being single at a wedding,” Eddie says, not a question. Buck shrugs. “Sounds stupid when you put it that way.” or, the one with the four weddings (feat. a drunk karen wilson, shania twain, a single cheerio, and some confessions over cubed fruit).
cause i'm tired of sleeping alone by rarakiplin (gmontys)
Buck goes on dates now. Not often, and never with the same girl twice in a row, but he goes on dates. And the thing is — the thing is, Eddie can’t be mad about that, because he goes on dates too. - or, five (ish) times eddie and buck go on dates with other people, and one time they go on a date with each other
so far from being free by allisonRW96
"That’s Daniel. He was our brother. Buck doesn’t know what to do with the past tense. He never had a brother. He’s always had a brother. He gained one and lost one in the same breath and it feels impossible. But even if Buck was capable of doubting Maddie, the truth of her confession is evident in the way it throws every facet of his childhood into sudden perfect clarity. That yawning, arctic absence. The unnamable fear. The impenetrable target of his parents’ approval that he was never, ever going to be able to hit. That they didn’t want him to hit. He has a brother. A dead brother who has haunted Buck’s steps for his entire life."
don't let the tide come and wash us away by writerforlife
Buck develops a relationship with the ocean, avoids talking about the day Eddie was shot, realizes he might be in love, and drives. Order may vary. (a fic for the "Buck is going to break all the way down in season 6" truthers)
dance, for all that we've been through by catchingpapermoons 
The Los Angeles Ballet’s 2022-2023 season ends with a bang with their fresh take on a ballet staple, Swan Lake. Artistic Director Bobby Nash is in his eighth season with the Los Angeles Ballet, and it has flourished under his direction. However, his associate, Eddie Diaz, is the one whose reimagining of the choreography has caught our attention... (or, Eddie Diaz moves to L.A. to restart his dance career, and ends up choreographing a show, finding a family, and falling in love. Not necessarily in that order.)
I'll Scrawl it on Every Wall I See by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels
When Eddie joins the 118, he and Buck don't exactly hit it off on the right foot. Or continue to walk on the right foot. In fact they kind of can't stand each other. Good thing they each have a beloved anonymous pen pal to share their daily woes with, someone completely unlike their insufferable coworker. Or, in which Buck and Eddie love each other before they know each other, and know each other before they love each other. When Eddie joins the 118, he and Buck don't exactly hit it off on the right foot. Or continue to walk on the right foot. In fact they kind of can't stand each other. Good thing they each have a beloved anonymous pen pal to share their daily woes with, someone completely unlike their insufferable coworker. Or, in which Buck and Eddie love each other before they know each other, and know each other before they love each other.
never felt this way before (yes i swear) by withoutthetiger
It’s the summer of 2022, when Buck no longer wants to be called Evan, and it only occurs to his parents to mind. It’s after the pandemic – or so they say – and before whatever hell will befall the world next, when Buck can’t wait to join the LAFD in September, and he doesn’t know if he’ll ever meet someone as gently strong and fiercely protective as his big sister. It’s the summer he goes with his family to the One Eighteen Ranch & Lodge. *** A Dirty Dancing AU, set in Texas in 2022, featuring a whole lot of familiar faces in a not so familiar place.
Fragile lines (and wasted time) by Mellaithwen / @mellaithwen
“Hey Buck,” Christopher says a little shyly, before reaching out to grab Buck’s foot through the hospital blankets—shaking it in the same way he’s woken his father up on many a bleary-eyed morning. The familiarity of the gesture makes Eddie’s head spin. But of course, there’s no response from the comatose man on the bed. “I thought you said he was sleeping,” Chris mumbles, angrily swiping at his cheeks, and Eddie’s already broken heart shatters all over again for whatever hope his son had just lost when his expectations were so cruelly dashed. . While Buck sleeps, and dreams in the aftermath of the lightning strike, Eddie tries desperately to hold himself together.
Don't Take the Money by HMSLusitania
“You know, being stuck here isn’t actually the end of the world,” Chimney says, coming up to the table and picking up one of the smoke detectors. “It just feels like it, Buck. Trust me, I know.” “I’m pretty sure it might actually be the end of the world,” Buck says. “Considering this is the sixth time I’ve lived this day.” Chimney stares at him for a beat and then his eyebrows lift. “Wait, are you like – dude, are you in Groundhog Day?” OR The post-lawsuit time-loop AU literally no one asked for.
keep your eyes on the road by iriswests / @fcntasmas
Buck used to speed through yellow lights; now they’re his favorite part of the drive. -- or; a glimpse into buck and eddie’s developing relationship, told through ten moments stopped at a traffic light
Hot Ghost Problems by ebjameston
The ghost would prefer to go by Buck, if Eddie wouldn’t mind. +++ [Eddie is the newest firefighter at the 118. Buck is the ghost haunting the 118. Unfortunately for both of them, Eddie's also a witch and needs to put Buck's spirit to rest, because that's what witches do. Turns out, Buck's spirit? Super not interested in being put to rest. Very interested, however, in flirting with Firefighter Diaz, who is just trying to survive his candidate year. (Also turns out, Buck? Super not dead.)
as lucky as us by hammersmiths
One of the first things Ravi learned when joining the 118 was to, under no circumstances, think too hard about Buck and Eddie’s relationship. But brother, they could try make his job easier. “I mean, I get it,” Buck’s saying, overhead, and Ravi’s knee-deep in literal human crap and even he can smell that shit from a mile away. “You and Tommy have a lot in common.” or, Ravi continually suffers as a third-wheel.
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epicbuddieficrecs · 29 days
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Weekly Recap | April 15th-21st 2024
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Warning you now that there won't be a recap next week because I'm gonna be on a birthday trip! (hello don't mind me I'm turning 30 this week 🙈). ((now that I think about it I could always post the recap on saturday. oh well. we'll see 😆))
Enjoy!
Complete
i'll fit you inside my future by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (S7E5, BuckTommy | <1K | General): "Why'd you choose that abomination of a coffee for me?" And Buck groans just to hear Tommy laugh. "Really? What even was that?" "Black coffee four sugars," Buck mumbles, kicking a stone across the sidewalk sheepishly. "Jesus, Evan." Tommy's laugh is something special, loud and unrestrained and the sound of sunshine maybe. "Why?"
wild again, beguiled again by Maira/ @mairaiscarrierofthepaperclips (Post-S7E4, BuckTommy | 1K | General): The kiss had taken him out at the knees, a rush of lips and heat and just the barest hint of teeth, the graze of stubble not his own thrilling him in a way like nothing had before. Which was ridiculous, because the kiss hadn’t even been that long. He’d had longer kisses, hotter kisses. Kisses where Buck had very nearly forgotten his own name by the time they’d ended. And yet, this one kiss still had him smiling like a fool. ... or, the one after the kiss.
I gotta get that feeling by elless (Post-S7E5 | 1K | General): Buck watches his mouth as he speaks and the way his adam’s apple bobs when he swallows, and reminds himself to pay attention, because all of this is important. He wants to know everything. OR: what happens at the cafe after Buck's an eager beaver and asks Tommy to be his date at the madney wedding.
The New Normal by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Buck/Tommy/Eddie | 1,7K | General): While he had had a few drinks at the bar, Eddie hadn’t even been tipsy when Buck had blurted out those words: I think I’ve been dating both of you. That statement had settled in the middle of Eddie’s chest and burrowed into its new home, feeling so incredibly right in a way he’d never experienced before. (Part 3 of Buck's Boyfriends)
a good ally by thewolvesof1998/ @thewolvesof1998 (BuckTommy, PWP | 2K | Explicit): Tommy figures out Buck's humiliation kink by accident during sex and they explore it a bit.
everything’s growing in our garden by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-S7E5, Pre-Buddie | 2K | Teen): eddie’s growing a garden. buck might be the most firmly planted thing in it.
every part of you (simple as that) by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (BuckTommy, Madney Wedding | 2,8K | General): OR: buck comes out to chris, talks to tommy about the future, has realisations about the past and finds a little peace at the wedding
Lactose Intolerance by Rianne/ @rianneeyre (Drunken Confessions | 4K | Teen): After last night's tequila shots at the karaoke bar, Buck had just gone home and rolled into his too-big, too-comfortable, too-empty bed in his too-quiet loft, and he’d— Texted Eddie. He thinks. The memory is kind of vague.
Tell Me Anything by AnnaNSmith/ @annansmith (Near Death Experience, Love Confession | 5K | Teen): Or, how Buck shattered Eddie's entire world one night by confessing his love to him.
we don't know where this is going now (don't be afraid of heights, let me open your heart wide) by wikiangela/ @wikiangela (Post-S7E5, Tommy POV | 5K | General): Tommy cuts their first date short, but to his surprise he gets a call from Evan just a few days later.
Despite it all, I'm Happy by InsaneJuliann/ @marvelingjules (Established Buddie, Post-S4, Secret Relationship | 6K | Teen): Something's up with Buck, but he's not telling. No one else even seems to notice all the faked smiles and laughter, not like Eddie does. But he's afraid of pushing too hard. He's happier, lately. Chris, his family, the team - and especially Buck - make him happier than he's been in a long time. Eddie doesn't want to put that all at risk. Not now, while it still feels so new. (Part 12 of The Evolution of Buddie)
Be Yours if You'd be Mine by InsaneJuliann/ @marvelingjules (Established Buddie, Post-S4 | 5K | Mature): Things with Buck are good. Sure, Eddie's pretty sure that some days Buck is still hiding something from him, and sure, their relationship is still a secret to their friends. But there are moments where Eddie can only feel how right it is, Buck in his life, with his family and with Chris. And Eddie may not be able to put a word to the feeling he's been having lately, but he knows that his relationship with Buck isn't going anywhere. At least, Eddie was sure of that until he potentially fucked things up. Now, he's not sure where they stand, precisely. He's not sure if he's what Buck really wants, or if Buck's second guessing. They need to talk. The thing is, talking and vulnerability has never been Eddie's strong suit. (Part 13 of The Evolution of Buddie)
somebody i can kiss by Rianne/ @rianneeyre (Christmas, Getting Together, Post-S5 | 7K | Explicit): Buck might be a little touch-starved. And he knew that, but he was not prepared to deal with how the knowledge would interact with his newfound awareness of his crush on—no, realistically, his undying love for Eddie. Because now, whenever he sees Eddie, Buck just wants to shuffle close, bury his face in Eddie’s neck, and hold him. Every second he spends with his best friend, he’s either picturing that, or he’s imagining Eddie’s mouth on his dick, Eddie’s hands on his skin, Eddie’s fingers in his mouth— Anyway. The point is, he should not spend Christmas on a fucking sleepover with Eddie. But he’s gonna.
A Brief Interruption by Leslie_Knope (S7E5 Spec, BuckTommy but Buddie Endgame | 8K | Teen): The restaurant door squeaks again, which Buck ignores, but it’s accompanied by a little noise, just a hitch paired with a small intake of breath, which would be completely unremarkable if not for the fact that Buck has heard that sound a thousand times and would recognize it anywhere. He turns his head, abruptly enough that Tommy’s mouth briefly mashes against his cheek. “Eddie,” Buck says, his voice squeaky and weird. His brain is just pure static, partly from the kiss and partly because Eddie is standing six feet away, eyes wide, staring like he’s never seen him before.
Take These Little Pebbles One by One by giselleslash/ @gigi-gigi (Post-S7E5, Endgame Buddie | 9K | Teen): Eddie tells Buck nothing will change between the two of them, except it does. He feels Buck quickly slipping away so he starts to steal pieces of him back. Literally. Or, the one where Eddie has a couple of come to Jesus moments courtesy of Christopher and Tommy, a bit of an emotional breakdown, and a lot of feelings about Evan Buckley’s dentist appointments and where his socks belong.
all I want (your eyes on mine) by bigfootsmom/ @bigfootsmom (Buck/Tommy/Eddie, PWP | 10K | Explicit): Buck is lying there, Eddie instantly recognizes the head of honey blond curls resting on the arm of the couch. But the head of short brown curls between Buck’s shaking thighs takes a second longer to place. But then they look up, blue eyes going comically wide as they lock onto Eddie. Tommy Kinard is on Buck’s couch. He’s on Buck’s couch between Buck’s thighs with his lips wrapped around Buck’s cock. The one where Eddie yearns, Buck pines, and Tommy just wants to have a good time.
🔥 give your heart and soul to charity by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (Post-S7E5, Sexuality Crisis | 12K | Teen): “It’s been a while since you asked for an emergency session,” Frank says, voice even as always. “Can I ask what brought this on?” “I think I just dumped god,” Eddie says and then he bursts out laughing. He can’t control it, he knows he sounds manic, like he’s somewhere between laughter and a breakdown, edging closer to the breakdown. “Holy shit I did dump god.” “I’m going to need just a little more than that,” Frank says and his face looks torn between concern and amusement. OR Eddie dumps God, gets some more therapy, accepts parts of himself he was taught to hate, loves his best friend, and loves himself.
Buck up, Buttercup by etlagiapet/ @etlagiapet (Canon Divergent, ~S5 | 14K | Mature): “God, you’d probably make a good writer for an advice column. You’re so earnest and optimistic, and you want to help people literally all the time.” Buck blinks at her, frozen with his beer halfway to his lips. His stomach does this thing, an excited little lurch that happens when he gets ahead of himself, but he can’t help it. He clears his throat and manages to ask, “Uh, really?”
Breaking news: LA firefighters in love by AnnaNSmith/ @annansmith (Taylor POV, ~S5, Getting Together | 19K | General): “In an incredible turn of events firefighter Buckley is alive and mostly unharmed. What could have ended in a devastating tragedy finds its happy ending after all. What an absolute relief that firefighter Buckley made it out alive and that we now see-” Taylor turns around, only to come to a stuttering stop at witnessing the spectacle in front of her “-my boyfriend kissing his best friend.” Or, Taylor gets a second shot at accompanying the 118 for another segment and notices that her boyfriend is a lot closer to his best friend than she remembers.
🔥 drink the river dry by Rianne/ @rianneeyre (Post Shooting, Getting Together | 32K | Explicit): It wasn’t until they were discussing his discharge paperwork and painkiller schedules that it really sunk in for Eddie that Buck would be staying with him and Christopher. That he would be around 24/7 except for his shifts at work. That he’ll sleep on the couch, where he’s been sleeping for days now to look after Christopher. The worst part is that it’s necessary—Eddie isn’t going to be able to do a damn thing for himself for the next couple of weeks. He’s lucky if he can put a shirt on by himself a month from now. Yeah, that’s going to be a problem. Or: Eddie gets shot, breaks up with his girlfriend, and pines like there’s no tomorrow.
🔥 The Heart Opening Sequence by Leslie_Knope (Post-S3, Getting Together | 34K | Mature): Eddie’s handsome, that’s obvious, Buck clocked that the second he met him. Part of him still can’t really believe that the guy he was so threatened by at first ended up as his closest friend, which is why these weird twinges are so unsettling. Buck isn’t sure if they’re real, for one, these odd flashes of what it would be like to lean over and kiss Eddie while they’re watching a movie or brush a hand over his back while they’re in the kitchen. And for two, it’s so far out of the realm of possibility that it’s barely worth thinking about.
🔥 everything (nothing) has changed by bizarrestars (Post-S4, Love Confessions | 48K | Explicit): After Eddie gets shot, Buck confesses his love. From there, things get a little out of hand.
🔥 let it pour out of your soul series by Rianne/ @rianneeyre (Magical Realism AU, Witch Eddie | 3 works | 71K | Complete):
collectively unconsciously composed (S4E6: Jinx | 46K | Explicit): Or: in which the author re-watched Buck Begins and Jinx and thought: what if this was gayer and had actual magic?
that systematic drug (PWP | 5K | Explicit): Eddie’s mouth goes dry when he opens the door and sees Buck. He’s clean-shaven and with his hair carefully styled back, smiling at Eddie sweetly and a little teasingly. Buck is wearing his dark jeans and his light blue v-neck polo shirt, the one that’s tight enough that it shows off the bulge of his biceps and the definition of his pecs and abs. Eddie knows this shirt. Buck's favourite, because he knows he looks good in it.
something binding us together (Established Buddie | 20K | Teen): Or: Eddie plans a long-avoided visit to his parents, discovers some things about his magic, and begins to build his family a home in LA's witching community.
Podfic
🔥 [podfic] tomorrow will always and forever now be today (tomorrow is our always and forever) by Matriaya // fic by @chronicowboy (Post-S6, Time Loop | 5-6h | Mature): "Think I can get a hug from my best man on my wedding day?" he asks, quietly hopeful in a way that makes Eddie want to tear off his skin. "Sure," Chris replies with a shrug, turning to throw Eddie a cheeky grin. "Dad, Buck needs a hug." (OR: eddie gets trapped in a time loop on the day buck marries natalia)
🔥 my certainty is wild, weaving [Podfic] by blackglass/ @blackestglitter for tuckergreeen/ @henwilsonmd (Post-S5A, Hurt Buck | 45-60min | Teen): “Eddie,” Carla says softly. “You could have called. We would’ve met you at the hospital.” He shakes his head. “No. I didn’t—uh. I didn’t go to the hospital.” He feels the way Carla’s hand goes still. “Eddie.” It’s not nearly as soft-spoken this time. “You didn’t go see him? Or Chim? Your team?” “They’re not my team,” Eddie says, almost without thinking. He winces as soon as the words are out. Or: Buck is hurt, Eddie is worried, and everything is broken.
[podfic] i was supposed to sweat you out (i think there's been a glitch) by half_bakedboy/@half-bakedboy // fic by @loserdiaz (Canon Divergent, Fire Academy | 45-60min | Explicit): "What's your problem, man?" "You. You're my fucking problem, Diaz." There were a lot of problems with Eddie Diaz, if you ask Buck. The guy is obnoxiously good at everything without even trying, he's too perfect, too confident. And the biggest problem of them all: Eddie's an attractive asshole that features more often than not in Buck's filthiest dreams. or; The Buck and Eddie meet at the fire academy, rivals to lovers fic.
🔥 Like Any Unloved Thing [Podfic] by ReformedTsunderePodfics/ @film-in-my-soul // fic by @hmslusitania (Urban Fantasy/Noir AU, PI Eddie, Ghost Buck | 1.5-2h | Mature): After the war, Eddie Diaz opened his own private investigation business here in LA and usually he does alright for himself. But this case, the one with the Buckley siblings, is going to crawl under his skin and stay there. It's going to change his life. He has no idea how.
[Podfic] If I Risk It All (Could You Break My Fall?) by liketherestofla, MistMarauder/@gracieryder for Princessfbi/ @princessfbi (James Bond AU | 4.5-5h | Explicit): “This is Buck,” Bobby said when Buck’s tongue refused to unstick from the top of his mouth. “Your new quartermaster.” Eddie’s eyes— brown with just a glint of green if you caught them in the right light— widened before he scanned Buck with another sweeping assessment. “You’re—” Buck had heard it all before. “Not all of us nerds are the skinny kids that used to get picked on in high school.”
🔥 Hot Ghost Problems by ebjameston [Podfic] by Rhea314 (Rhea)/ @rhea314 // fic by @ebjameston (Canon Divergent, S2, Ghost Buck, Witch Eddie | 5-6h | Teen): Eddie is the newest firefighter at the 118. Buck is the ghost haunting the 118. Unfortunately for both of them, Eddie's also a witch and needs to put Buck's spirit to rest, because that's what witches do. Turns out, Buck's spirit? Super not interested in being put to rest. Very interested, however, in flirting with Firefighter Diaz, who is just trying to survive his candidate year. (Also turns out, Buck? Super not dead.)
WIP
Kiss Me Once Cause You Know I Had A Long Night by I_still_dont_understand_13 / @dangerpronebuddie (Prompt collection | 30/? | 19K | Teen): 100 kiss prompts.
30. 70. what if i told you none of it was accidental: An accidental kiss that confuses you both, but only a moment passes before you crash your lips back against each other's
What’s Your Order? by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Post-S7E5, BuckTommy | 3/6 | 6K | Teen): 5 Times Buck Guessed Tommy’s Coffee Order + 1 Time He Didn’t Have To
🔥 Cowboy With a One Track Mind by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergence, Not A Firefighter Buck | 2/4 | 11K | Mature): Spin-off Sequel to Evan Buckley & the Coma-Verse of Madness - Chapter 7 (Land): Grieving and tortured, Evan Buckley has been living alone in Montana in a remote cabin for nearly a decade. After an incident that leaves him missing six months of his life, and suddenly in connection with a group of strangers from Los Angeles, Evan must decide whether to remain in his self-imposed exile, or take a chance at life again.
🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 9/18 | 49K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.
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chronicowboy · 1 year
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rewatched the will scene for editing purposes and nothing i'm about to say hasn't been said before its just like I Know its an insane scene, i know that every second of every day, but you forget just how truuuuly insane it is until you watch it again.
eddie's vacant stare right at the start as he's rehearsing what could potentially be one of the biggest most important speeches of his life, the way he literally blinks himself out of his daze when buck enters with his faux-casual oooookay, there's something about buck's little smile when he says then we can get out of here that makes me want to BITE things, the absolute steel on eddie's face as he gets buck to sit down realising what it is he's about to do, buck's cautious everything alright? because he's not sure he can handle any other bad news after Everything, buck sitting down as far away from eddie and his terrifyingly serious energy as he physically can, the way eddie can't look at him and buck can't look away at first, eddie literally can't look at him like i cannot express to you how actively eddie avoids buck's eyes on him its a fucking love confession and he can't let buck read that on him so he hides in plain fucking sight.
the way buck tries to run from the reminder of eddie's mortality, eddie's soft but firm let me finish because if he doesn't say it now he'll have to wait until the next near death experience to find his courage again, the beat of wildly intentional eye contact in which buck's face says please whatever this is don't make me face it now and eddie's face says trust me please trust me the way i have trusted you with my heart, eddie's bitter chuckle about the well, buck desperately clinging to the fact that eddie survived that and wondering if he knows buck screamed for him then too, eddie's huffed laughter wondering if buck knows he saved him both times, how fully eddie sinks into the memory of realising he needed to give christopher a just in case, the framing of the shots capturing buck's reactions always featuring an out of focus eddie, the choice to focus so closely on buck's reactions even when eddie is speaking, the way its really only the both of them in focus when their eyes meet, the way eddie goes quiet when talking about the what ifs, eddie staring at buck as he talks about christopher being taken care of but looking away as he says by you because absolutely everything is written plain as day on his face for buck to read.
and then the switch, the way buck can't look at eddie and eddie can't look away, he needs to make sure buck understands, but buck can't face up to it, ITS IN MY WILL IF I DIE YOU BECOME CHRISTOPHER'S LEGAL GUARDIAN, buck going through the five stages of grief in a single second before landing on bargaining and reminding eddie of his family because he's the guy who lost christopher in a tsunami and broke down when chris needed him to be strong, my attorney said you could refuse/but you know i wouldn't/i know you wouldn't, buck's panic on his face even as he says it because of course he'd do it but that would mean eddie was gone, eddie's gentle and fond smile because even terrified buck is confirming everything he already knew, buck's pain when he says other family like he's still not entirely sure he's a part of the diaz family but the subconscious other because deep down buck knows where he belongs, eddie's casual reaction to buck's wouldn't they fight for him? because he knows no one will EVER fight for my son as hard as you, that is what i want for him, the little chuckle and the blatant shock on buck's face.
buck going through the five stages of grief again landing on a little anger this time with why are you just telling me now which means i might have had to do this with no warning still reeling in my grief for you, BECAUSE EVAN, the way buck's snaps to attention, eddie's disgust - not at buck but at the way buck's brain treats him, you came in here the other day and said it would have been better if you were the one who got shot, buck frozen and unable to look away from eddie's grief, you act like you're expendable, the way they both look away, eddie's big deep breath, but you're wrong, and the way they turn to each other in unison not a single millisecond separating them as they seek out each other's eyes and share a look that says: this is a love confession, i cannot say in what way, i cannot even comprehend that myself, but this is as close as i can get to showing you what you mean to me//this is a love confession, i do not know what it means, i cannot begin to understand, but this is as close as i can get to what you feel for me.
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thewolvesof1998 · 6 months
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Saw the prompts post and I'm very curious about the 'pulling them on their lap' one. I feel like Buddie barely does that in fics unless it's sexual meanwhile I love it when ships casually sit on each other's laps :)
Doesn't matter if they're established or pre-relationship
Only if it sparks joy of course! No pressure ❤️
HI! Thanks for your ask!!! <3
So yeah this made me actually feral because you are so right we need more casual lap sitting!!!
I wrote over 1000 words thinking it would work for my No-Nut-November fic but it just doesn't work -which I would have realised if I just read my notes- anyways so it's now a one-shot!
let me cradle your body (be a safe place to rest)
“Seat theif,” Buck pouts, “Where am I supposed to sit?” He asks and look, if he purposely makes his eyes all big and puts a little whine in his voice in a deadly combination that usually has Eddie folding to his whims that it’s between him and the universe okay? “Here,” Eddie says, patting his thigh and it shortcircuits Buck’s brain for longer than it probably should’ve. Eddie doesn’t actually mean that, he’s just messing with Buck right? Because as much as they’ve been accused of practically sitting on each other, they’ve never actually sat in each other’s laps. Buck opens and closes his mouth a few times before deciding that if Eddie is pulling his chain then he’s going to regret it and if it’s being earnest then it probably is comfier than the floor and better than being squeezed into a too-tight spot. “Okay,” Buck says, Eddie offers him a smile and his hand, as if daring him to do it. Buck takes the offered hand and Eddie pulls Buck onto his lap.
Read on ao3
I'm using this as my Seven Sentence Sunday!
So thanks for the tags: @disasterbuckdiaz mwah!
Tagging: @wikiangela @wildlife4life ​ @eddiebabygirldiaz  @spotsandsocks @try-set-me-on-fire @jesuisici33​ @bekkachaos @buddierights @spagheddiediaz @911-on-abc @hippolotamus @shitouttabuck @911onabc @exhuastedpigeon @malewifediaz @your-catfish-friend @loserdiaz @ladydorian05 @watchyourbuck @king-buckley @chaoticgremlinwholikescheese @daffi-990 @fortheloveofbuddie @steadfastsaturnsrings @mangacat201 @theotherbuckley @hoodie-buck @eowon @rainbow-nerdss @nmcggg @pirrusstuff @evanbegins @giddyupbuck @sammysouffle @smilingbuckley @jamespearce9-1-1 @carrierofthepaperclips @jeeyuns @callmenewbie @thosetwofirefighters
make 'em swoon prompts
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lemotmo · 1 month
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Three years - lemotmo - 9-1-1 (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
I had to do it. I had to write about pining and hurting Eddie. I can't shake the headcanon that Eddie knows how he feels about Buck.
It's written in two hours, so it might be rough, but I don't care. You can read it here or on AO3. Enjoy!
Three years
“Eddie, where are you going? Are you—” Athena called out.
Eddie rushed out of the garden and into the house, quickly gathering his things in the living room, before walking out of the front door. He didn’t want anyone to talk to him. He wasn’t interested in their questions. He wouldn’t know how to answer them anyway. What could he tell them?
A lie? That he wasn’t feeling well and he just needed to go home to sleep it off?
Bobby and Athena would understand, the others would say goodbye before Athena would guide him out and say goodnight. They would all buy it. But Buck wouldn’t. He knew him so much better than that.
Or the truth? That the sight of Buck and Tommy sitting together, holding hands, kissing and whispering silly little things to each other that made them laugh, made the bile rise in his gut?
He couldn’t possibly explain any of that to anyone, because for two months now he had been choking on it, walking around with a big fake grin on his face, always overly cheerful, nauseatingly happy and positive and attentive when each morning Buck would waltz into the station, floating on clouds and love and—Tommy. Every single day he would share a funny thing Tommy did or he would gush about one of the man’s romantic gestures. Chimney, Hen and Bobby always indulged him with happy smiles on their faces. And he tried, Eddie really tried. He did his best to plaster on that same smile, to be happy for Buck— and even Tommy, because he was a great guy. And he was obviously so good for Buck. He wined and dined him and treated him the way Buck deserved to be treated. He even called him ‘Evan’. Something he had only dared to do twice. Bottom line—he was perfect. Tommy was the perfect boyfriend.
And it pissed him off.
The moment he reached his car, he heard footsteps running down the driveway. “I don’t want to talk Buck,” he said, as he frantically started searching his pockets for his car keys.
“Wrong firefighter,” Hen replied.
Eddie sighed and leaned his forehead up against the car window. No escape now. Hen was stubborn. She wouldn’t just let this go.
“Hen—”
“No,” Hen interrupted, “I am talking now, Eddie. You want to tell me what that was all about? Because I’ve known you for a long time now and what you just pulled in there? That’s not you. You don’t just walk out without saying goodbye to everyone.”
“I’m just—not feeling well,” Eddie replied, grateful for the car that was holding him up. He was so tired.
“No, I’m not buying that Eddie. The last couple of weeks, at work, I’ve slowly seen you withdraw within yourself. You stopped interacting with us, especially Buck. You do your best to put up a smile, but it just doesn’t look real. What is going on with you? Are you unhappy at work?”
“I really don’t want to talk about it Hen.” Eddie finally turned around to face her and leaned back heavily against the truck. “It’s not important anyway.”
“Eddie.” Hen looked him in the eye, obviously concerned. “Talk to me.”
Eddie chuckled miserably before pushing away from the car. “You want me to talk? Fine, I’ll talk.” He took a deep breath and looked down at the ground, unable to look her in the eye anymore. “Three years Hen. Three fucking years!” He spit it out, looking up again, anger in his eyes.
Hen didn’t say anything, but it was clear that she didn’t understand.
And Eddie was frustrated. He was so fucking frustrated over this entire fucked up situation he found himself in. He had been such a colossal idiot.
“Three years ago I got shot in broad daylight,” he started, “and Buck was standing right in front of me. For a split second I saw his face get covered in blood—my blood. But at that moment I didn’t realise. I saw the blood and I thought—someone shot Buck. Someone dared to shoot this wonderful man. And later, as I was laying on the asphalt, bleeding out, reaching for him, being saved by him, I couldn’t help but realise what an idiot I had been to not see what had been right in front of me for such a long time.”
“Eddie,” Hen said, surprise colouring her voice, “Are you— are you in love with Buck?”
Eddie sighed and looked at her. “What gave me away?” He joked, pain evident in his voice. “You know what the worst thing is? When I woke up in the hospital I vowed to myself that I wouldn’t let this chance go by and I would tell him as soon as I was strong enough. Hell, he was already in my will anyway, so it would have made sense.
Hen’s eyes widened when she heard about the will. “Your will?”
“Yeah, if anything happens to me, Christopher will go to Buck.”
Hen gasped.
Eddie smiled at her. “Surprise!” He wistfully looked back at the house for a moment. “Anyway, now you know.”
“What happened after the hospital?” Hen asked.
Eddie gathered his thoughts for a moment, letting the memories flow through him. “The last day I was in hospital he told me that he and Taylor and gotten together and that he was sure it was going to work out this time.” He briefly allowed himself to feel the pain of that moment again, before locking it away where it had come from. “So, I stayed with Ana until I just couldn’t anymore. It felt wrong. Buck was still with Taylor and when he finally broke up with Taylor—Well, by then I wasn’t in a very good place to make any big decisions, so I told myself there would be plenty of time later. I waited and waited, until last year. I had gone to therapy, felt better than ever and I thought—now is the time. Of course, then he got hit by lightning and—”
“He almost died,” Hen finished.
“Yeah.” Eddie nodded. “One of the absolute worst times in my life. To see Buck, who is normally so full of life and happiness, just lying there, motionless, unresponsive. I could hardly bring myself to walk into his room.”
“But he recovered.” Hen said. “Why didn’t you tell him then?”
“I was going to. We were closer than ever. Getting along better than ever. I felt like we were finally on the same page. I even took him on a date to a poker game—although in hindsight, he probably had no idea we were on a date.”
“Which is very Buck of him,” Hen added. “You need to spell things out for that man. Otherwise he won’t get it.”
“Yeah, I was all set to tell him when a wild death doula appeared,” Eddie said, sighing deeply. “He looked me right in the eye and told me: ‘She sees me’. As if I hadn’t been there all the time, right in front of him, seeing every single thing about him, understanding him in ways he doesn’t even understand himself.” He shook his head. “That’s when I decided to give up on him and move on. I convinced myself that it had all been in my head and the little signs of interest I saw were just figments of my imagination. A while later I bumped into Marisol at the store and—well, you know how disastrous that ended.”
Hen bit her lip. “And now he’s with Tommy.”
Eddie swallowed. “Yeah,” he choked out, “he was so happy about it when he told me Hen. You should have seen him. He was practically beaming. He confided in me that Tommy had kissed him and it had illuminated his world.” He smiled, lost in the memory. “He looked so happy and all I could think about was—” By now he was so overwhelmed by emotion that he barely managed to get the words out. “Why not me? You know?”
Hen made a soft soothing sound and reached out towards him, but Eddie stepped out of her reach. He didn’t want her pity. “And this time it really seems to be the real deal. Buck has never looked as happy in a relationship as he does in this one. Tommy is clearly doing something right, the way he always manages to catch his attention.”
Hen nodded and softly added, “It is kinda hard to miss how much Buck lights up whenever Tommy walks into the room.”
Tears welled up in his eyes. “And How can I possibly deny him this Hen? How can I possible come in between that happiness and destroy it? I can’t. Buck deserves this. He deserves the best—and if the best is Tommy—well, then I’ll suck it up and be happy for him. I’ll plaster on the fake smile for the rest of my life if I have to.”
“But Eddie,” Hen softly said, “What if, for Buck, being with you is even better for him than the best?”
Eddie wiped the tears away with his sleeve and shook his head. “Nah, I’ve never been the best for anyone or anything Hen.”
“Eddie,” Hen started. But Eddie cut her off. “No, don’t—I’ve made up my mind. It’s hard sometimes, seeing them together, but time heals all wounds right? I’m sure that, eventually, I’ll be able to be in the room with them without wanting to destroy something. But, today is not that day. I had to get out of that room Hen. I couldn’t just sit there, watching the intimacy between them without imagining that—"
“It was you instead of Tommy sitting next to Buck?”
“Yeah.”
Hen regarded him for a moment. “I’ll go back in and tell them that you felt really sick and didn’t want to ruin the lovely evening by hurling all over the carpet.”
Eddie breathed in deeply, feeling relieved. “Thanks Hen. Tell them goodnight from me, okay?”
“Will do. But Eddie, hold on.” She walked up to him and reached for his hands. She gently squeezed them as she looked him in the eye. “Never let anyone tell you that you’re not good enough. Buck would be lucky to have a man like you loving him.”
Eddie smiled at her and briefly squeezed back in thanks, before letting go. He had finally located his car keys and unlocked the door. As he got in the car, he hesitated for a second. “Hen, what I told you—”
“Say no more. My lips are sealed. I promise.”
“Thanks,” he said, before getting in. A minute later he was gone, but Hen didn’t move a muscle.
“How long have you been standing there?!” She angrily called out into the night, slowly turning around towards the driveway of Athena’s house. There was no answer.
“Don’t try to hide from me. I know you’re there Buck!”
Buck slowly emerged from behind one of the plants in the front garden, a baffled look plastered all over his face. He looked as white as a sheet.
“How much of that have you heard?” Hen asked, her anger floating away. Buck looked about ready to faint.
“E-everything,” he replied. “I followed you guys outside about a minute later. But then I heard you and Eddie talking and I didn’t want to interrupt and then it registered what he was talking about and I didn’t want to show myself anymore, because that would have been so awkward and—”
“Buck,” Hen interrupted. “Take a breath and sit down for a moment. You look a hair’s breadth away from falling over.”
Buck breathed in deeply and sat down on the curb. He looked up at Hen, lost and confused.
“What do I do now Hen?” He asked.
“Now you make a choice Buck. The cards are all out on the table. All you need to do is make a decision.”
“But, how do I do that?”
“That’s not for me to decide,” she softly added. “But know that, whatever decision you make, someone will get deeply hurt in the process. It will take time for them to heal. And the longer you wait, the more it will hurt. So, don’t wait too long.” She took a deep breath. “I’m going back inside. I’m sure Karen is starting to wonder where I am.” She slowly turned towards the house and made her way back inside.
Buck didn’t follow for a long time.
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bieddiediaz · 1 year
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I realise I'm beating a dead horse here but. sometimes it annoys me how eddie does so much for buck and expresses himself so obviously but it's never enough for fandom bc he didn't accompany it with a heartfelt love declaration every time, like eddies not a person himself with thoughts and feelings and insecurities
eddie made buck Christopher's backup legal guardian? it's not enough, because he didn't tell him. eddie told him after a year to make buck realise hes not expendable? it's not enough, because now buck didn’t understand thinks he's the backup. eddie opened up to buck and only buck about his breakdown? it's not enough, because he left the 118 without talking to buck and told him to move on, even though buck told him to put it away first. eddie cried openly in buck's hospital room like he didn't even do for his wife? it's not enough, because he didn't hold bucks hand and talk to him. eddie opened up about being shot to help buck through his own trauma? it's not enough, because he didn't tell buck he remembered looking at him too
and I'm not saying there's no space for those discussions, about what eddie didn't say and why, but it's so often framed as 'eddie didn't do enough and buck's fucked up because of it' instead of 'here's why eddie didn't say what he didn't' when eddie has been there for buck more consistently and effectively than almost any other character on the show
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stagefoureddiediaz · 26 days
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so do you think if buck and tommy don't break up in episode 6 that they're gonna be breaking up the next time tommy appears which would be in 9 or 10 and it'll be a mutual/amicable break up because of Buck realizing his feelings for Eddie?
Hey Nonnie
Why would they be breaking up in episode 6???
That’s never been a thing that would happen.
There are two options at play her really - the first is that they will come to some kind of natural conclusion in episode 9 or 10.
Or the second option is that they’ll end the season together and will end some time early in season 8.
Either way it may or may not have to do with a buck feelings realisation - neither get in the way of buddie if that is what you’re worried about. All the chess pieces are moving into place nicely - Eddie still has a way to go on his journey - he has a lot to work through and isn’t ready for Buck at all yet and the show is dropping anvils that that’s where they’re going with his arc - we just don’t have a timeline yet.
Buck getting to be happy and have a good relationship for a period - while he discovers more about himself and while Eddie does that work on himself is no bad thing. Buck will also get to grow and learn - and get to a place where he is also ready for Eddie - for forever. Because as things stand right now - I don’t think Buck would handle a feelings realisation well at all - in fact I think it would be detrimental to buddie. For starters buck doesn’t really know how to have a healthy relationship - all of his have been some level of toxic. Secondly, tying bucks newly awakened queer identity to his feelings for Eddie in that way - so quickly - would potentially send buck spiralling at this moment in time in an unhealthy way- slowly figuring it out over time as he dates Tommy is a much more interesting narrative - and plays into why they’ve chosen to have Tommy be such an obvious version of Eddie - we the audience know and can see what’s going on but oblivious buck (being true to character and being oblivious!) slowly connecting the dots - in a way that frustrates the audience - the pay off for us is far more satisfying - and it’s a more realistic story and more ground breaking for a queer love story on network television!
We don’t want them to rush together because buddie is end game - the last relationship either will ever have - so then getting to a great place individually before they start something is really great and really important.
Plus don’t forget this cat and mouse type narrative is fun too - buck fell first but didn’t realise - Eddie fell harder but didn’t realise until he got shot - then Eddie had to hide it - then he had a grief spiral ,Buck in a coma) - then he got so good at keeping it buried he started dating Marisol - at which point Buck had an almost epiphany but has mistaken it for Tommy rather than Eddie.
Eddie who is now unpacking the bit of himself that will allow him to actually embrace his queer identity. Eddie who panicked - asked Marisol to move in with him when he realised Buck was single again - then decided to only back track a bit rather than ending things when he realised Buck wasn’t in fact single and was also bi and now dating Tommy - because being single and alone when the man you’ve been in love with for so long is no longer single and is now actually in a relationship with a man - that means he was an option is not a fun place to be - so staying in a relationship that’s meh but ok is preferable to him.
Basically - the show seems to be setting this up for a full arc in 8a, leading to buddie canon. I genuinely at this point don’t think they’re doing to have any form of Eddie actually stating his queerness in the rest of 7 - I think they will continue to make it blatantly obvious thats where it’s headed but I think they’ll save his story for 8a - which is the best place for it imo - where it can be done properly.
So why shouldn’t buck get to be happy with Tommy for a bit in the meantime?? He’s earnt it!
This gif a bit out of control, but I hope it’s interesting!! 💜💜💜
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m3r1m4r5u333 · 11 months
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Oh my. I've obsessed over the Ana-visits-the-fire-station-scene before but I hadn't even realised how much Eddie really keeps staring at Buck until today when I watched it super slow. I wanted still pictures to really showcase where Eddie is looking and how many times his gaze returns to Buck, but the picture limit makes that impossible.
Anyway, Eddie is absolutely staring and struggles to stop. There was even this one sliding shot where the frame first includes both Buck and Ravi about equally much... But then it's like Eddie's eyes just can't stop drifting more and more on Buck - so the shot that's obviously Eddie's POV just wanders more and more to the left, towards Buck, until Ravi almost disappears from the frame.
Okay, I've skipped the very beginning, Ana arriving (+ Eddie kissing her cheek like Ana's his abuelita or something) and bringing three salads to Eddie.
Buck runs up to them, calls Chris their new chief and lifts him up to hug him. It's a tight, long hug, like they haven't seen in a while and Buck has really missed him. Buck asks Christopher how he is.
Let's focus on Eddie's reactions.
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(Looks like he's thinking: They're so cute together.. Buck is so good with him. 🥰)
Buck asks Chris how he is. Eddie gathers his wits, well kinda, and introduces Chris to Ravi... Eddie also forgets to introduce Ana to Ravi. Pays no attention to Ana.
Chris asks Ravi if he's a firefighter. Ravi tells Chris that he's a probationary firefighter. Chris asks him if he did something wrong. Buck (who was quite ridiculously invested in Ravi's training) quips "constantly!", then smiles. Eddie looks at Buck...
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And finds that hilarious, ducks his head and smiles to himself like he's remembering something....
And then he just keeps grinning like a besotted fool, totally in a world of his own. Ana and Ravi are waiting for Eddie to introduce them to each other, it becomes awkward.
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Finally Ana just goes "I'm Ana!" which startles Eddie out of his daydreams. Eddie's gaze drifts to Buck who is frowning like "wtf Eddie?"
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Eddie quickly looks away.
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... And then Eddie just needs to look again...
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(Right then Ravi assumes that Ana is Eddie's wife and Christopher quips "not yet!" to Ravi's assumption. Ana and Eddie lose their smiles...)
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(My headcanon: No, how could I marry her when I don't love her, I'd be happier with...)
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Oh. Buck.
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Like arranging a cherry on top of the cake Ana then says:
"So... Even in the darkness this place is amazing."
Not that we see her say it because Eddie's attention is once again on Buck, looking back at Eddie, in the dark room...
Eddie, panicking, delegates Ana's fire station tour to Ravi, then Eddie's eyes again seek Buck's and linger on Buck while Eddie mutters that he'll "put these up there" (salads Ana brought),
then Eddie, eyes flitting between Ana and Buck, rambles "I don't want these things to wilt!" and skedaddles.
...
If there's a heterosexual explanation to this all then I can't fucking find it!!
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diazfox · 1 month
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(A tentative guess about your BuckTommy vs Buddie post)
I guess a big part of it is because it's canon ? It's canon and it seems to work, and it seems to be make Buck calm and fluffy and happy in a healthy way, which is what a lot (all ?) of us want. So we can get behind that, for now.
Your "why not a similar support behind his exes / fetishizing MM relationship" question is valid and i think the difference is because it's the first time someone Buck dates seems to really fit with him without having something that we can pre-shot is going to be a problem, and the first time he goes into a relationship (getting myself ahead of things there) without it being to heal something in him ? And as I've read other people point out, Tommy's not silo-ed out, he has a backstory with the Begins episodes, he is friends with some of the 118, so it makes him less of a plot device than Buck's female exes.
And about the second part, the fetishizing part, i think sadly it's just a real thing that happens here, on tumblr and in fandom spaces : men are seen enjoying being together and fandom smooches them together together. One could even argue that it's the same for Buddie, wanting them to be together together when canon just factually says they are BFFs. I don't think anyone is erasing anything, but all that is canon about Buddie is that they are BFFs (a lot can be read as more that friends but ultimately it's with shipping goggles on, only - i'm not a very optimistic person, though).
I guess some of us think that if they didn't make Buddie happen for this long, then it may be because it is meant to stay on the fandom shipping side ? And we're given this incredible chance to have a canon lgbt character with an unusual story of self-discovery that doesn't happen a lot in tv shows so we're just enthusiastic to go with the flow ?
And if it turns out that the writers have the guts to get Eddie his own self-discovery journey, and if that later leads to Buddie happening somehow, then I think all BuckTommy shippers will be glad that it finally happened, and that it is canon, and is finally the Truth.
damn, thanks for your insight! i do see how things being canon and properly canon (like Tommy having a "backstory") can cause shifts in perspectives looking into the future.
i 100% understand why some might think buddie is a form of fetishization too. ngl i've seen strong arguments like "why can't 2 male characters share a strong emotional bond platonically? why does it have to lead to romance?" i guess my main reason for bringing up fetishization with respect to bucktommy is the fact that they are quite lacking in the "strong emotional bond" department. so it feels pretty much like "2 hot guys kissing and touching each other hell yeah" to me.
but i realise i'm overlooking the fact that this is bi buck's first relationship, though. i forgot to consider the fact that majority of this support for tommy comes from the fact that this is the first love interest of buck's to whom he can give all of himself and get twice as much with all the freedom in the world AS A BI MAN. thank u for putting me on to the fact that i've been misinterpreting this enthusiasm to some degree.
thats not to say that just bc something is canon or just a headcanon everything is set in stone. writers and actors themselves have made it very clear time and time again that audience reactions and engagement matters when it comes to plot development. in your own line of thought, right until 7x 03 they didn't make bi Buck happen for so long. so would u say it was meant to stay merely on the fandom shipping side? i just think the possibilities are endless, and maybe we as a fandom can try to have a bit more resilience to see through fan-originated storylines instead of a "i'll just go with whatever is canon bc it's easier" ethic.
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The Feelings We Hide
Fandom: 9-1-1
Series: One Shot
Pairing/s: Evan Buckley x Diaz!Reader
Warning/s: shooting, injury, hospital
Word Count: 1,308
Request: Buck falling in love with Eddie’s little bit younger sister,who was there for him with his whole fall out with Taylor and when he was trying to get back in touch with Abby,not knowing he fell in love with her and how much she reminded him of Eddie being a goofball,until he realized he may never get to tell his best friend that when athena comes in and tells Eddie while bucks near him that she was called on to a scene where Eddie’s sister was and the car was shot at Eddie asking if the two of you are okay seeing Buck panicked,athena telling them Christopher is okay he’s with hen at the hospital but you were in critical condition having been shot twice once near your heart and one in the back of your shoulder covering Christopher but you end up being okay
Summary: When you're caught in the crossfires of a shoot out while driving with your nephew, Christopher, Buck must come to terms with his buried feelings for you while he and your brother, Eddie, await news of your condition
Masterlist
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It started with a phone call.
It had been a typical day for the 118. The sun was shining, the calls were coming in... normal. Eddie had dropped Christopher off with you in the morning since he wasn't in school, and then went to pick Buck up for work.
You'd been in LA for the past year, moving out to join your brother and when a transfer came up at work. It was your day off, so you'd been more than happy to take Chris when Eddie asked.
Hen and Chim had been called away during overhaul as they'd finished up another call. Some kind of shooting, they'd heard, and 118's ambulance was the closest. Bobby let them go as the others packed up to return to the station. That's when the call came in.
"Hey," Bobby answered his phone to his wife, pausing as he loaded the truck back up. Buck and Eddie continued with their tasks until they saw Bobby's face fall, Buck tapping Eddie's shoulder to where their Captain was standing, face stricken with concern as he glanced in their direction.
"Everything okay Cap?" Eddie asked, abandoning his job as they approached.
"You seem worried," Buck added, worry in his own voice.
"That was Athena," Bobby started, "you know that call Hen and Chim were called to a little bit ago?"
Both men nodded, wondering what this had to do with them.
"Well, it turns out that the car that was caught in the crossfire of the shootout... was Y/N's," Bobby said, looking to Eddie as his face fell, his breath catching in his throat.
"Is-" Buck tried to ask, Eddie too shocked by the news to form words.
"Chris is fine," Bobby said quickly, "Hen is with him at the hospital, but Y/N... she was hit twice, one in the chest, one in the shoulder- shielding Christopher. She's in surgery now, but it's critical."
Eddie had gone white, shaking. His baby sister, not his baby sister...
"Cap-" He began, kicking himself into gear. He had to get to the hospital, now.
"Go, both of you, I'll find cover for you hear," he ordered, Buck and Eddie nodding to each other before taking off as fast as they could.
It wasn't a long drive, but if felt like it.
On the way, Buck drove in silence, Eddie next to him trying to hold it together.
"It'll be okay," Buck said, but he didn't know whether he was trying to reassure Eddie or himself.
The truth was, since you'd moved to LA, he found himself falling more and more in love with you. You'd been there for him through his break up with Taylor, helped him process his feelings for Abby... and somewhere along the way, you'd entered his heart. He hadn't realised how much until he realised he may never get to tell you.
He thought back to when Abby had first returned, with someone else without a word. Afterwards, you'd stayed up all night with him eating ice cream and watching bad movies. You hadn't even known her, but you knew him, and you'd been there for him.
When he'd had a bad call and Taylor was working late, you'd been who he called to talk to without even thinking about it; you'd stayed on the phone with him for hours until one of you had fallen asleep, though you both disagreed as to who had fallen asleep first... He probably had, but he'd never admit it.
Or the day after he'd split with Taylor. It might have been his decision, but he'd still been feeling down about it. You'd noticed, and you and Chris had taken him out for the day to take his mind off of her. A server had told you both you made a good couple, and you had a lucky son, and while he'd smiled and you'd laughed, he'd never told you exactly how that had made him feel, or what it had made him realise.
Would he ever get the chance?
They got to the hospital, spotting Chim and Hen almost instantly as they signalled them over. Athena was there too, an arm around a shaken Christopher's shoulders.
"Dad!" He yelled, jumping up from his seat and rushing into Eddie's arms as he met him half way.
Chris had clearly been crying, he was shaking and there was blood on his clothes. Your blood.
"He wouldn't change or clean up until you were here," Athena said, wandering over to where Eddie was making sure Chris was okay, "in case something happened to Y/N while he was gone."
"We need to get you cleaned up buddy," Eddie told him, clearly conflicted about also leaving in case something happened to you.
"She's stable for now and in good hands," Hen informed him, trying to give him some reassurance.
"I'll wait for any news," Buck promised, and Eddie eventually nodded, leading Christopher somewhere else to get changed as Buck took a seat in the waiting area.
Athena sat next to him when he slumped down, a knowing look on her face. "You good?"
Buck didn't really know how to reply. "I just... feel like everyone leaves, you know?"
"Buck," Athena put a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up from where he had rested his chin on his clasped hands. "I'm not an idiot."
"Is it that obvious?" He asked, sounding a little defeated but also relieved that someone else knew.
"That you have feelings for Y/N? I sussed it out," she replied with a small smile and a wink.
Buck ran a hand over his head and sighed, "I wish I'd said something, but I didn't want to overstep with Eddie, you know? Now she might not make it and-"
"Got a thing for my sister, huh?" Said a voice from behind them, causing Buck's head to snap back to see Eddie and Chris.
"Oooh la la," Chris grinned, cleaned up and clearly feeling more himself.
"Eddie-" Buck went to try and defend himself, but Eddie had more to say.
"Is it serious?" He asked, big brother mode activated.
"My feelings?" Buck checked, and Eddie nodded seriously.
"Very," Buck said sincerely, all his best friend needed before he smiled.
"If she- when she gets through this, she's going to need support," Eddie explained, knowing it would be a long road to recovery.
"I'm always going to be there for her, you know that, I-" Buck stopped himself before the words slipped out, but Eddie heard them.
"Love her?" Somehow, that didn't surprise him.
"You knew?" Buck looked confused, thinking he'd been so careful.
"I suspected," Eddie shrugged, taking a seat next to Chris.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Buck had been worried about how Eddie might react, but it hadn't occurred to him that he might have already figured it out.
"I wasn't 100% sure," Eddie told him honestly, "I needed to hear it from you."
"She feels the same way," Chris added, grinning.
"Chris," Eddie warned, ruffling his son's hair with a laugh, "but he isn't wrong though, she does. She'd kill me for telling you that but..."
Buck sighed with relief, glad you felt the same but annoyed at himself for not saying something sooner.
The doctor came out then, and everyone stood, waiting with baited breath.
"You can say what you need to in front of everyone," Eddie told the doctor, who nodded and addressed the group.
"She's going to be okay," sighs of relief all around, Buck clasped Eddie's shoulder as he nearly fell back into his seat.
Buck helped him sit and sat down himself, not hearing much else of what the doctor was telling Eddie. You were going to be okay.
He made a promise, then and there, to tell you when you'd recovered.
He didn't want to waste another moment.
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littlespoonevan · 1 year
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catch us in the mirror and it looks a lot like love
6x11/6x12-ish spec (except not really), hurt/comfort, 1.2k
if you saw me use those lyrics as a fic title before no you didn’t!!!!!!! i couldn’t not use another place by bastille for this fic ok it was a necessity. i have been tagged in an abundance of wip wednesdays and seven sentence sundays recently with nothing to show for it (but please keep tagging me ok ily 💖) but nothing like a lightning strike to galvanise me into writing hurt/comfort again!!!! so here is some gentle buddie in the hospital bathroom 💛
-
Buck holds onto the sink with one hand as he tries to shrug his hospital gown off his shoulder. He definitely shouldn’t be out of bed unsupervised yet; he’s only been awake for a few hours and the doctors – or one of his friends – will probably rip him a new one if they find out. Still, he was unconscious for a day and a half and the nurse had told him his scar will probably be all but gone by the time he wakes up tomorrow.
She’d said it with so much reassurance – as if, by tomorrow, no one would ever physically be able to tell what happened to him.
He doesn’t know how to explain that he wants to see it. That he wants the physical proof, even if he only gets it for a day.
Because…because he gave his bone marrow to Daniel and it left so little an impression on him that he’d never even known it had happened. Because he donated his sperm for Connor and Kameron and there’ll be a baby at some point but Buck still won’t have anything to show for it.
Because he keeps giving so much of himself away that sometimes he expects to see an entirely different person when he looks in the mirror.
And at least, just this once, it won’t feel like he’s making all the pain up in his head.
Eventually, he manages to get one arm out of the gown and then the other, letting it pool around his waist and pressing his hips against the sink to hold it in place. It’s mostly a pointless endeavour but he’d like some modicum of decency if someone does come in. At least they’d left on his underwear.
He stare at himself then, at the way the mark starts at his neck and spiderwebs out across his shoulder towards the centre of his chest. Towards his heart.
He’d researched Lichtenberg figures once, after he’d read a book where a character had survived a lightning strike. It doesn’t prepare him for seeing it in person across his own skin. Lifting a hand, he touches it carefully with his index finger, following the path of the mark with a delicate touch. It doesn’t hurt, not really, but that could just be the cocktail of pain meds he’s on.
He drops his hand once he reaches the end of the mark where it peters off between his ribs but he can’t make himself look away from it.
It’s the same place where Eddie got shot, he realises after a beat. And then he wants to laugh because if there was ever an emotional trauma he had nothing to show for, it was that one. Maybe that’s what this is. Some kind of reminder that something irrevocably changed in him that day and he’s never been the same since.
Talk about the universe screaming at you.
As if summoned by his thoughts, Eddie appears in the doorway behind him. He doesn’t say anything as he leans against the doorjamb but his eyes meet Buck’s in the mirror and Buck’s knees suddenly feel a little weak.
He’s still reeling from the dream he’d had while he’d been sedated. It had been the perfect life – everything he’s always said he wanted – but Eddie and Christopher weren’t there.
It’s that, he thinks, that has him blurting out, “We match,” without thinking.
Eddie’s reflection blinks and Buck watches as he pushes off the doorframe and steps further into the room. The bathroom is tiny, just a toilet and a sink and a shower, and Eddie stands so close to his back Buck thinks if he let go of the sink Eddie would catch him.
“What d’you mean?” Eddie asks, voice so soft it makes Buck’s chest ache in a way that has nothing to with the lightning strike or his cracked ribs.
“The scar,” he explains, wetting his lips against the sudden dryness in his mouth. “It’s the same shoulder as your scar from-“
He doesn’t finish his sentence. He doesn’t need to when Eddie’s eyes immediately flicker down to where both of their shoulders are lined up, one behind the other. And Buck knows that one patch of skin on Eddie’s shoulder like the back of his hand – has pressed down on it with enough pressure to keep him alive, has covered it with dressing and cleaned it to prevent infection, has rubbed ointment on it to stop it from scarring too bad. Has touched it just because he wanted to remember Eddie’s alive.
“What are we measuring here, Buck?” Eddie catches his gaze again in the mirror, the corner of his mouth twitching. It’s different from the last time he asked that question – tense and frustrated in the back of an ambulance. Now, it’s quiet and fond and filled with that nudging kind of gentleness Eddie always uses on him when he feels fragile.
Everything is different from the last time he asked that question, really.
Buck doesn’t quite manage a laugh but the breath that puffs out of him could be one on another day.
“Nothing,” he says. “I just…”
“I know,” Eddie says and Buck is dying to know what he’s thinking, is dying to ask what Eddie’s been thinking while Buck was unconscious.
“I missed you,” he confesses – because his dream is still clinging to the corners of his mind and he can’t explain the way it’d left a gaping hole in him until he’d finally had Eddie at his side again when he’d woken up.
Eddie visibly startles at the words and Buck watches the way he silently tries to pick them apart before he speaks.
“You were unconscious,” Eddie points out finally.
Buck shrugs, ignoring the way his shoulder twinges. “Still missed you.”
Eddie’s expression softens and he seems to sway forward without realising, until the fabric of his sweater is brushing Buck’s back. “I missed you too,” he murmurs.
Buck gives in then, lets himself let go of the sink and lean back until his back connects with Eddie’s chest. He hardly has to move an inch.
Eddie’s hands land at his sides instantly, as if to steady him, but all he does is let them rest there. Eddie’s temple brushes his own and Buck closes his eyes, feeling something akin to peace settle over him for the first time in too long.
He doesn’t know how long they stand like that but, eventually, Eddie pats his side, his voice low at Buck’s ear. “Come on. Let’s get you back to bed.”
Buck opens his eyes and finds Eddie staring back at him in the mirror. Wordlessly, he lets Eddie help him pull the gown up over his chest, covering the scar once again. Eddie takes hold of him then, one hand at Buck’s elbow and the other clasped in Buck’s as they make the slow walk back out to the hospital room.
And when Buck is back in bed and Eddie’s thumb sweeps across the back of his hand right before he lets go, Buck thinks the perfect life his dream had tried to sell could never have gotten this right.
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epicbuddieficrecs · 4 months
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Throwback Rec!
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Helloooooooo!
I've mentioned this when I first started the blog, but unlike with my previous rec blogs, there was quite a long period of time between the time when I started reading buddie fics and when I started this blog (live, five-ish months). Consequently, there's a lot of fics I've read during that period that I've never recced! So I thought I'd try to do a "Throwback" rec once in a while to rec these fics. Enjoy!
this must be the place by euadnes/ @kananjarus (Canon Divergent, Post-Shooting | 75K | Teen): Every life altering event is often led up to with a series of other important events. In this case, there were at least three: An unstoppable fire. An afternoon spent underneath a blanket of California blue sky. But firstly, and maybe the most important of all: There was the impeccable aiming of an ex-sharpshooter. *** Or, the Buck is also shot by the sniper AU that no one asked for.
🔥 Benign Fatality by EtoileGarden/ @etoilegarden (Time Loop AU, Season 2-4 | 23K | Teen): Buck repeats days until he doesn't die in them, has an underdeveloped sense of self worth, and Eddie is the one who wants to step in with him.
must be some kind of twist, I could get used to this by soyxunxperdedor/ @messyhairdiaz (Post-S4, Accidental Marriage | 38K | Explicit): He doesn’t remember much from last night, even less after the fourth or fifth tequila shot. So he certainly doesn’t remember bringing someone back to his room. He steels himself for the lancing pain and cracks his eyes open. Oh. Oh no. This is either really bad or… Well, not really good, but just. Not really bad, and that’s probably all Buck can ask for it to be. Because Eddie is in his bed, Eddie’s arm is wrapped around his waist, Eddie’s legs are tangled with his. And he has no idea why.
🔥 in the night we trust by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (Canon Divergent, Pre-S4 | 29K | Explicit): Eddie and Buck start sleeping together when they're all stuck at Buck's place during lockdown. It still takes them almost three years to notice that they're in love.
🔥 Didn't think you meant it by EtoileGarden/ @etoilegarden (Friends to Fiancés to Lovers, Post-S5 | 33K | Explicit): “I want - I want to get to - to have some sort of - of promise that I’m… loved. And. And worthy. And that I get to always go to bed knowing I’m - I’m fully, like, mentally, physically, legally committed to this person who - who’ll always have my back, who’ll always - always be there when I need them. But I guess,” Buck shook his head. “I guess I’m starting to really - really believe that maybe I’m not actually built for that. For - for someone actually wanting to commit to me, to marry me. So I - I think seeing the wedding today just kinda cemented in my brain that no one would want to marry me.”  “I’d marry you,” Eddie said, patted his knee. 
🔥 standing on the brink of emptiness by woodchoc_magnum/ @woodchoc-magnum (Post-Shooting | 71K | Mature): In which Eddie is struggling in the aftermath of being shot, learning how to take care of himself and realising he's in love with Buck; and Buck is dating Taylor, taking care of Eddie and Christopher and trying to figure out why he's so goddamn confused about everything.
🔥 Muscle Memory by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Amnesia AU | 40K | Teen): After a disappointment in his personal life, Buck wakes up one morning to find everyone he loves has forgotten him completely. No memories. No recognition. Almost like he was never really there.
oh, my dream (never quite as it seems) by woodchoc_magnum/ @woodchoc-magnum (S6, Friends with Benefits | 44K | Explicit): In which Buck and Eddie are trying out a friends-with-benefits thing (that's rapidly turning into more) when the world comes crashing down on them. As Buck hovers somewhere between life and death, Eddie has to deal with their friends, family and the Buckley parents.
It’s Not the Roaring Dream, It’s the Silent Lightning by giselleslash (Coma AU | 15K | Mature): Buck gets struck by lightning and wakes up in another life where he has everything he’s ever wanted, but soon that life starts to crumble around him and the painful pull back into reality nearly breaks his heart. (or the one where Buck is married to Eddie in a coma dream and he doesn’t want to let the dream go.)
found a park bench for a throne by withoutthetiger / @rewritetheending (Post-S6 | 23K | Teen): Set in S7, when Buck goes back to therapy and Eddie is there to comfort him after each session, much like Buck did for him in 5x14. They're friends, of course, but Eddie can only soothe Buck for so long before it becomes impossible to deny that they're also so much more.
I love the way you spoil me, baby by rosebuddiekin/ @giddyupbuck (Sugar Daddy Buck AU | 33K | Explicit): Buck is a sugar daddy who wants to spoil Eddie rotten and take care of everything for him. Eddie has never had that sort of relationship but is willing to give it a try. There is plenty of adventure along the way.
🔥 In the Gray You are Golden by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Zombie Apocalypse AU | 26K | Explicit): When the world fell apart, Eddie did his best to keep his son safe. But now winter's coming on, their supplies are dwindling, and Christopher needs medical attention, so Eddie takes the chance to move them across the country to the west coast, where the rumored 118 Safezone takes in all survivors. Buck's proud to be a member of the 118's search and rescue teams, but he can't shake the conviction that his lost sister is still alive in the wasteland. When he sneaks out to find her, he runs into Eddie and Chris instead, and vows to get them to the 118 safely. But the wasteland has many ways of tearing people apart, and the undead are just one trick up its sleeve...
🔥 you and me by woodchoc_magnum/ @woodchoc-magnum (S6 Fix-It | 55K | Mature): An alternate ending to Season 6, where Buck realises that what he's been searching for has been right in front of him the whole time.
🔥 The Education of Eddie Diaz by mansikka (Pre-S4, Friends With Benefits | 32K | Explicit): Eddie doesn't really know how it happened. One moment the 118 are drunk in a bar after a hard shift, confessions slipping from his mouth as he playfully kisses Buck on the cheek. The next he is on Buck's couch, taking up Buck's offer of an education that could be asking for trouble. But it's just sex, and they're just friends; it doesn't mean anything to either of them. So why is his time alone with Buck the highlight of his week?
🔥 i see you in my sheets (i see you in my sleep) by elless (Post-S6A, Friends with Benefits | 25K | Explicit): Buck and Eddie are FWB, act like boyfriends, and are suuuuper dumb and oblivious about everything.
🔥 a bleeding sun on a silver screen by rarakiplin (gmontys)/ @hoediaz (Actors AU, Friends With Benefits | 130K | Mature): One day, Buck will tell an interviewer that he would be happy to make movies with Eddie Diaz until the day he dies. But first, years before that, he sees Eddie for the first time on the set of Chimney’s fifth movie.
handle me with care by woodchoc_magnum/ @woodchoc-magnum (Canon to S6E9, Getting Together | 42K | Mature): In which Eddie tries dating again, and slowly comes to terms with his feelings for Buck.
Your Kiss Might Kill Me (So Won't You Kill Me) by morganofthefairies (PWP, BDSM | 9K | Explicit): Buck hadn’t been a virgin by the time he’d hit Peru – not even close. He still considered Peru a critical point in his sexual history, though, because Peru had brought him Fiona, and he was pretty sure he could credit her with like 80% of his sexual knowledge. None of that was the point, though. The point was that, six years later, when Eddie called for the jaws to get to a woman pinned in her car while responding to an 8-car pileup, and absentmindedly called him a good boy as Buck handed them over, he had a totally normal reaction to it.
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organic-sprolden · 1 year
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literally all I'm asking for is tia pepa or literally anyone to tell Eddie what to look for in a forever partner or whATEVER because he's been out of the scene of looking for something serious for so long.
and then we get a montage while pepa or whoever is listing things like "someone where you don't have to strain to laugh and smile and force yourself to be comfortable with" "a person that you can see yourself just sitting there in peaceful silence with" "someone who's always there for you unconditionally" "a nice little lovely lady who loves Chris and you and knows how to balance time with him and you and not be overwhelming or pushy and insert herself into your life"
and the whole time we just see multiple scenes of buck being that person and we get shots of all the buddie heart eyes and secret smiles when no one's looking and when they're finished listing all those things, Eddie's smiling distantly and is just like "huh. so that's what Ive been looking for"
and then the listing person is like "yeah so hurry up and get out there, these things take years to get to that point"
and Eddie just leaves and he goes to find buck but oH NO BUCK ISNT AT HIS LOFT SO EDDIE RUNS TO MADDIE'S HOUSE AND OOPS HE JUST MISSED HIM BUT MADDIE SAYS THAT HE SHOUDL BE ON HOS WAY TO EDDIES HOUSE RN ACTUALLY SO EDDIE GOES BACK HOME AND HE WALKS IN AND BUCK IS STANDING IN THE ENTRYWAY AND HE TURNS AROUND AND EDDIE STOPS ON THE WALKWAY AND HES SWEATING AND OUT OF BREATH AND BUCK WALKS NACK OUT TO HIM AND IS LIKE "Maddie and I had a talk about, well, a lot of things but Eddie I've realised that you were mentioned a lot. I mean, I mention you a lot when I'm talking to Maddie...and hen...and chim...and Bobby and Athena.... hell even Carla... but the point is, I'm always talking about you and when I'm not and thinking about you or Chris or both. because ever since you let me meet him, and join you two, my life has changed for the better. Eddie I can't imagine my life without you... and Chris. and I'm not sure why it just hit me now but I don't think it's— I mean, it's not just me admiring you, or wanting to be close to you. you're my family, Eddie. you and Chris are the ones I chose, and will continue to choose everyday of my life. and I just need to say that now because it's burning me up inside and what I'm trying to say is—”
and then Eddie steps closer to buck and puts his hand on bucks shoulder, briefly hesitating before shifting to cup his jaw. and both of them are holding their breaths. and both of them can't look away. and then Eddie puts his other hand on the other side of bucks face and buck grips his elbows and they are sharing breaths now because somehow they got too close to have their own individual source of oxygen.
and then Eddie says "buck. evan buckley I choose you too. always."
and then they just know and it's all over from there.
the crescendo hits and they're together. someone leaned in first. or maybe they both did, who knows, who cares. but their lips are together. they're pressed together as much as physically possible. and it's everything and more.
they pull apart and brown meets blue and then they're both grinning like they won the lottery. because, not to be cheesy, they kinda did.
so yeah, that's what I want.
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911 Fic Recs: Therapy Edition
[Buddie recs]
am i who you think about in bed? by rarakiplin (Rating: M, ~6,800 words)
After Eddie goes through an entire box of Frank’s tissues in a week and finally manages to read through those reddit stories without flinching, he tells Frank, “I think I want to have sex. Like with a man. Gay sex.”
Frank tilts his head, pressing the tip of his middle finger against the space between his eyebrows, and sighs. [...]
“Do I have to tell you that you don’t have to?” Frank asks, mild.
or, eddie sleeps with men that aren't buck until, well, you know.
Being Eddie by daisies_and_briars (Rating: T, ~79,800 words)
When Eddie starts seeing a new therapist, he’s presented with the opportunity to revisit several days from his past and right regrets that still bother him.
OR:
Eddie goes through the time travel therapy process of the 2009 Canadian TV show Being Erica
every single thing to come (has turned into ashes) by imdarlenescousin (Rating: M, ~66,600 words)
“Don’t you want to get back out there, though?” Buck asked. “I mean, you kept asking about my couch, but what about you?”
“I’ve had a couch this whole time,” Eddie countered.
“A metaphorical couch.”
“The hell is a metaphorical couch?” Chimney asked Hen and Ravi under his breath, earning only a shrug and raised eyebrows in response.
Or, Eddie starts dating, makes some friends, makes some realizations, and makes a serious offer.
Canon compliant through 6x14.
everything (nothing) has changed by zeppazariel (bizarrestars) (Rating: E, ~48,500 words)
After Eddie gets shot, Buck confesses his love. From there, things get a little out of hand.
--
Buck breathes for a moment, then sets his shoulders. "Eddie, there's something I have to tell you."
"Do you?" Eddie asks flatly, still alarmed and doing his best to hide it. "I would've never guessed."
Buck swallows. "Eddie, I love you."
"Are you softening the blow, or buttering me up? Because, I've got to tell you, I'm still very worried regardless," Eddie tells him.
finding our way (back home) by cnomad (Rating: M, ~91,200 words)\
When Eddie left the 118, he promised Buck that nothing would change. But six weeks later, things were strained between them as Eddie tried to adjust to his new role at dispatch while Buck decided to take a major step forward in his relationship. After a series of revelations forced Buck and Eddie to confront what they really wanted out of life, it was up to them to find their way back to each other.
Back home.
let the world have its way with you by fleetinghearts (Rating: E, ~54,400 words)
“It’s just that—I died,” Buck continues, voice unsteady enough that Eddie wonders if this is the first time he’s acknowledged that out loud. “I died, and there’s so much more. There’s so much more I want to do, things I don’t even know I want to do yet, and I almost had the chance to have and live them taken away. I don’t want to die and regret missing out on everything else, Eddie.”
“So let’s make a list,” Eddie says. “Let’s do them.”
or, a bucket list that’s really about buck needing to make a change and an eddie who’s ready to do anything to see him fall in love with life again. it takes some crossing off for eddie to realise—the thing at the top of the list in his own heart? it’s been right here all along.
run in the dark looking for some light by not1_2write (Rating: T, ~2,600 words)
It starts when he breaks up with Taylor. Or maybe it starts when Maddie leaves again, when Chim tells him over and over again that he's done with him. Maybe it even starts when Eddie was shot, when Buck's entire world crumbles in front of him for the thousandth time and he can't do anything except sit back and watch.
Buck can't take everyone leaving him again, can't take being alone anymore. So this time, he leaves first.
Or he tries to. Eddie doesn't let him. When Buck pulls away, Eddie follows him. And Buck finally lets himself break.
tell me about despair by hattalove (Rating: M, ~148,900 words)
eddie's not entirely sure he believes in getting help, at least not for himself. there's only so much healing to be had for a body torn apart by bullets, for a mind that's only half there, for a man who's been leaving pieces of himself behind all his life with nothing to take their place.
except, as it turns out, falling apart happens in increments, and healing does, too[...]
(or: the entity often affectionately referred to as the unrepression fic.)
Tick Tick Boom by ChasetheWindTouchtheSky (Rating: T, ~30,400 words)
“Did you know if you put a frog in water and slowly bring it to boiling, it won’t hop out?” Chris is chattering as Buck makes a quick dinner while Eddie argues with his gas company on the phone.
“Hmm?” Buck asks, unable to fully pull himself out of Bobby’s baked mac and cheese recipe. [...] “Frogs?”
“Yeah!” Chris states. “My teacher said that if you put a frog in a pot, you have to make sure it’s not immediately boiling. You put them in water and then slowly raise the temperature and they won’t realize what’s happening. Then once they realize, they have no place to go. They can’t jump out.”
--
S6 Spec: Buck decides he doesn’t need therapy, reverts to some bad habits, and explodes. Or, the Breakdown Fic.
Unless You Ask Me To by ElvenSorceress *WIP* (Rating: M, ~182,300 words)
It’s not the first time a man has ever looked at Eddie a certain way. It’s not the first time a man has ever hit on him or asked him out. It happens every so often. Not a lot. Once every six months or so? If he had to put a number to it?
But maybe it’s the first time Eddie’s considered saying yes.
--
Eddie dates a man for the first time, Buck is completely Fine(tm) and not at all having a breakdown, and the love of their lives was right in front of them all along.
When it comes to an end (I will want you to plea) by blink_blue (Rating: E, ~26,900 words)
After the lawsuit, Buck and Eddie are casually sleeping together. Eddie tells himself it doesn't mean anything more than that. An unexpected incident at work brings up something Buck thought he'd long buried behind him and makes Eddie re-evaluate his feelings for his best friend.
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