#ed recovery win

[brightandblossom]

So, I don't wanna brag. But I have just had a wonderful moment of recovery realisation.

I was at a free event, with all our meals povided (which I am hugely grateful for!). And absolutely no exercise/movement.

If this had happened two years ago, I would have hid in my room, and nibbled at the few foods I deemed "healthy enough". But not this time baby.

This time I helped myself at breakfast and lunch buffet to all the fun things (like the pastries and the breads), I ate biscuits at break, I had the full roast dinner with starter and asked for ice cream on my crumble for dessert.

I ate everything, and I enjoyed the food too. Like really enjoyed it. AND on top of that I did it with ease, laughing and making new friends while we ate. My period is back, and my mind is free.

This is it. Guys I've recovered.

#recovery #ed recovery #recovery win #recovery motivation #pep #ed recovery win #amenorrhea recovery #ed recovery challenge #hypothalamic amenorrhea #positive

[passiveagressivepoet]

recovery win y’all i was feeling hungry when i was already tucked in to bed and i’m really trying to actually sleep tonight bc i’ve been feeling so tired and my headaches/migraines have been worse this week SO i got up and ate :D I would’ve never done that before so ed recovery winnnnn

#tw ed recovery #ed recovery win #personal

[hannahvsana]

Small update: I finish university tomorrow after 4 years of trying to alongside of recovery; I’m moving in with my boyfriend in a couple of weeks; I made myself real pasta alone tonight for the first time in years; I turn 22 next week, and although I feel swept up and in anxiety right now, I wish I could tell my 17 year old self that it’s going to be okay and things will go as planned one day, even if that means things will be stressful sometimes

#ed recovery #eating disorder recovery #anorexia recovery #recovery #anxiety recovery #depression recovery #personal #relationship stuff #self harm recovery #ed recovery win #change is scary

[thrixve]

I kind of just had the thought, "I wish my eating disorder made me small."

and I realized how misguided that thought is. because my ED did make me small, just in all the wrong ways.

my ED made my dreams, goals, and ambitions small. it made my voice and presence small. it made every part of my personality small.

my ED took all of the good things in my life and made them small.

I don't want to be small if being small means living a sad, empty life.

#ed recovery #eating disorder recovery #body image #positivity #mental health #ed recovery win

[nourishnrecover]

In lovee with the sun coming out, this incredible strawberry smoothie and my brain being a bit less deafening today 🥲🩷

#ed recovery #recovery #ed not ed sheeran #recovery win #eating disoder recovery #ana recovery #pro recovery #3d recovery #<3 #ed not sheeren #anarecovery #mia recovery

[harbinger-of-bedraggled-crows]

Recovery is wild because I woke up in a cold sweat last night, stared into the bathroom mirror for 20 minutes trying to imagine what I’ll look like as I get older, wrote “give me back my bones. Let me bury them in the graveyard of my body” in my notes app, and then promptly passed out again. and the entire time a little voice in the back of my head was just going “I want to live I want to live I want to live I deserve to live”

#ed recovery #this is how I know I’m winning btw #also hot take #graveyards are beautiful #poetry #maybe

[peggy-sue-reads-a-book]

Paper Cranes

TW: homophobia, bullying, church abuse, swearing, assault, ED, SH, compulsive exercising, Republicans, purity culture, evangelical crap, but most of all middle school. If I’ve failed to include anything, just let me know. Fr I wrote it for me and posted it for those who might find my experience affirming. I’m all good if you need to scroll right on past a trauma post.

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The first time I ever watched homophobic bullying was in my pastor’s office. All the teens were waiting around a table for our youth pastor. There was one gay boy, a close friend of mine in a relatively small group. From the first week his family joined our church, an older girl in youth group announced to the rest of us that she couldn’t stand him because “he’s too happy and sings too much.” It was true. The new boy was the most cheerful, outgoing person I’d ever met. And he loves to sing.

The same girl gave a similar PSA behind my back when I was new. “We shouldn’t play with her because she’s weird and wears dress up clothes.” I was six. And it was true, I did wear a princess costume every day. Eventually I traded in my tutus for some looks that better reflected internalized misogyny and everyone figured out I’m funny as all shit and can get along with most anyone. I graduated from the bottom of the food chain.

So I shrugged off her hot take on my new friend. I don’t think she liked that her plans to cancel the new guy flopped. Because as we were waiting around that table she jumped up and grabbed his earlobe between her finger nails. She was super proud of her nails. They were long and scraggly like a cat and she was into filing them in public in case anyone felt too safe.

She dug her nails in on either side and no one said anything. You don’t stand up for a boy to a girl. I can’t remember if he tried to swat her off or just took it. It was only a minute but it was a damn long one. Blood started to bead around her nails. Then the door opened and she sat back down. Sunday school started.

Nothing I believed, no books, no paper, no concept of abomination could override what I’d just seen, the revulsion deep in my gut. It was more than rage. More than disgust. I still have no word for it. I was too young and the feelings that well up are still those of a thirteen year old.

It doesn’t matter what you call it. Anger like that is like walking around dead and suddenly finding your pulse because it’s roaring in your ears like a jackhammer.

I prayed to be like everyone else. To care about the same social issues in the same way. The only way I could make sense of my loneliness was that I was cursed in some way. If God loved me, he would make me content with the same values as my peers. But I had just seen someone harm someone else and not a single one of these fine, upstanding kids I’m supposed to make friends with say a damn thing.

A few years later, there was some kinda touchy-feeling Jesus shindig where everyone got real sugared up at night and had a big sing along with some college kids who were supposedly qualified to talk about the deep shit with us. If I mentioned their university you’d recognize it. Hint: assault cover ups

One guy, nineteen or so, must have gotten particularly inspired in the spirit because he starts preaching off-the-cuff about the sins of anorexia, binging, purging, and cutting. I inched backward. I tried hiding behind a football player; I was about half his width after all.

Peggy, what’s up with the bandaids?

I guess I tripped over a wall.

Hey I have a joke. How many Peggies can you fit in the shower? No one knows because—-

— I keep slipping down the drain. Heard that one.

Eat a fucking sandwich, you skinny cunt

The best part of the speech is it was addressed to us about the bad, vague other kids who barfed and otherwise screwed around. Those poor fuck-ups, insulting God’s creation by choosing to defile their bodies.

I couldn’t wait to get home and go for it, but felt a whole lot more like a compulsion than a choice.

I’ve heard this sermon twice, by the way. The second time, the pastor held up a paper crane and asked us to admire its delicacy and the skill it took to make it before shredding it up. Guess he worked hard on that metaphor.

That was me. A paper crane. Pure white, crafted precisely, folded up small. You could pinch my wings between your fingernails and pull them off. I wouldn’t bleed and you could vacuum me up. That was my power. The control in the fine lines and tight folds.

Anyway here I am squirming on my butt and waiting for my chance to burn off my two bites of pizza and Oreos. I’m pretty sure I’d made everyone laugh by scooting the cookies into my mouth from my forehead with no hands. See, everyone, I eat. Yeah, I was gonna have to get in some crunches tonight.

I wondered if I could chug enough lemon water to get diarrhea without being noticed, when somehow, we were looking at each other. The boy’s eyes were bright blue. Ice blue, like in cheesy books. Gay.

Skinny.

Leviticus. The apostle Paul.

Cutter.

It’s a powerful feeling, that two seconds of eye-contact that lets you know you aren’t crazy. That you aren’t the only one in the room who is angry. It is taking a hand to find it as wounded as yours.

Whatever is divine in this world, whatever is true and special and outside of ourselves, it is in the rage you can’t shake. If a voice is telling you that no one deserves to be treated this way, that you inherently do not deserve this, and you say shut up and shut up and shut up and it won’t

Shut up, shut up,

and your only answer is this is bullshit. You should get up and leave

Shut up

I said you are free to walk out,

I can’t,

well then I say you can. I say Truth never left you and you’re not dead.

disclaimer: I did not write this to shit on Christians (I am a Christian) or any tradition in general but the corruption that exists in specific systems

other disclaimer: the other kids in this story were literally also just kids, even the mean ones. I’m pretty sure all of them have grown into sensible adults I’d hang out with. I did not write this to shit on them either.

#personal post #so personal #lbtqa ally #queer affirming Christian #spirituality #religious trauma #church trauma #tw: ed mention #tw: evangelical crap #tw: bullying #tw: homophobia #eating disorder recovery #Peggy Sue for the win #feminism

[medupload9]

These are my days! I’m getting ready for pre-med which will likely start next year. I’m fighting anorexia at the moment but the schizophrenia is finally under control!

#ed recovery #medicine #winning #schizophrenia

[bytchysylvy]

its probably 80% body dysmorphia but im choosing to lean into it and say "im getting kinda cuddly" anyway

#tw ed recovery #bear acceptance arc #who'd win life long body image issues resulting in anorexia vs a really cool pride flag

[eatingdisorderconfession]

92153) despite desperately wanting to, on and off for the last x or y, I've managed to avoid purging so far. I feel like if I do even once that'll be the beginning of something far far worse.

I hope somebody's proud of me

#proud of you! #recovery win #i rose up from the queue #text #tw #ed #eating disorder #confession

[brightandblossom]

A huge recovery game changer is when you realise it’s not about avoiding triggers, but about learning to trust yourself enough to not be influenced by them. 

#ed recovery #ed recovery win #game changer #recovery #orthorexia recovery

[passiveagressivepoet]

had to see a new dr today for a pysch treatment i’m doing and he asked when the last time i had a binge/purge cycle was, i got to say 8 months :’) i had to think about it too, like genuinely try to remember the last time i did.

recovery win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#tw bulimia/eating disorder mention #nothing graphic or no behaviors discussed :) #ed recovery #RECOVERY WIN!!! #happy friday to meeeeeee

[arc-angel-o]

Ingredients meta/theory - Win angst

Once I start writing meta about a series, you know I'm in too deep. So here we are!

Trigger warning; talk of eating disorders, not just mentioned, the main subject, I'm explaining why I think Win has one. Let me know if there's more warnings I should tag ❤️

Because my idea of Win recovering from an eating disorder has officially graduated from headcanon to theory.

I got this idea instantly when I first saw episode 5. As a refresher, this is when Win goes on a diet and is working out to gain muscle after seeing the new neighbor and Tops makes him the avocado and egg dish that I want to try so bad.

What this episode felt like is that recovering anorexic thing where you don't relapse, but you suddenly feel very conscious of how you look and what you're eating. Sort of like a burst of energy but instead of energy it's body image issues.

That whole episode, combined with the episode with his mother (ARFID to ED pipeline), combined with Win not eating vegetables in the past, combined with him not knowing how to cook, combined with Tops reminding him to eat, combined with all the other ways I relate to Win, by the finale, I got attached to this headcanon. Now I'm beginning to wonder, is this just a headcanon, or was it all intentional on the part of a writer(s) or Jeff Satur or somebody else?

Unless someone has explicitly said "yeah Win is supposed to have an ED going on in the background" and I just haven't seen it yet, this isn't something I can really prove, but, I can say this:

As a writer who's also been inspired by this show, I can easily see a writer wanting to expand on these characters, and their respective relationships with food, and put themselves in Win, but being limited to only incorporating the aftermath of Win's ED in a way that only people who've been there would pick up on.

Ingredients is a creative project, but it's also a commercial one. And eating disorders are a heavier subject, with a lot of stigma around them, that i don't think a brand would probably want to or be good at portray(ing) them.

Even if this wasn't the case, Ingredients is lighthearted and brief. Not that it isn't emotional, ie the finale, or that eating disorders can't be portrayed in a less serious manner (my favorite ED representation comes from the tv show Starved, which is a comedy), but I do understand tone concerns.

I tried to find interviews or behind the scenes material as I was writing this that might point to whether the vibes were intentional, but i didn't find much. I did see an interview where Jeff Satur said that the hardest part about this role was how much he related to Win. So if the vibes are coming from him rather than - or alongside - the writing team, perhaps that's connected, but if Jeff hasn't said that's he struggled with these things, I don't want to speculate whether or not he has.

If you'd like more on this headcanon, I'm currently writing a oneshot about it, about Win not eating as well now that's he's not living with Tops.

I also might make a part two to this post, elaborating more on that "combined with" list. Probably only if someone expresses interest or if i think it's necessary for writing the oneshot. It hurts a little, to talk about my favorite characters going through it.

#ingredients #ingredients the series #win marwin #ingredients meta #ingredients theory #tw ed recovery #tw eating issues #to clarify im fine #im in recovery im eating everyday #dont worry about me #let me know if theres other warnings i should tag #tw body image #jeff satur #starved #starved 2005 #starved tv #staved tv show #starved tv 2005

[thrixve]

recovery win of the day: i ate a snack at night even though that usually makes me feel really guilty. but in reality there is nothing wrong with fueling my body when it's asking for it, even if it's "past 8 pm" or whatever

#i had coconut skyr with honey vanilla granola and i'll tell you what it was a winning combo #ed recovery #eating disorder recovery #mental health recovery #ed recovery win #pro recovery

[nourishnrecover]

Here to share a win !!

After work, I remembered that I had some tokens for a free scoop of custard at a restaurant nearby. I suggested getting some on my own, because it sounded good, so my grandmother & I went over to get it. I got chocolate with strawberries

Didn't even think about it disordered-ly until a bit after I'd ate it, even then I shut it down and went on my merry way. I'm home now and feeling a bit worse but... I got a sweet because it sounded good. I ate it and was in the moment. I was okay..

I know it's just one moment, and I won't always feel that way. In fact, I won't most of the time, not yet. But I truly hope to have more of those moments.. I'm so proud of myself. My friends were right, I can do this. I might need to be reminded again.. and again, I hope I won't relapse but who knows, but I actually believe it right now. Recovery is possible.. being in the moment is possible.. 🥲💜

#ed recovery #recovery #ed not ed sheeran #eating disoder recovery #mia recovery #ana e mia #pro recovery #ana recovery #3d recovery #<3 #ed not sheeren #anarecovery #anorexia recovery #eating disorder recovery #edrecovery #recovery is possible #i believe in you #all of you #<33333 #recovery win #win

[caffeinatedopossum]

Honestly unpopular opinion but fuck intuitive eating and mindful eating in ed recovery (especially autistic and/or adhd ed recovery)

I ask my girlfriend if I'm hungry and if she says I am, I sit in front of a screen distracted until I'm done eating

#im winning at recovery /j #also omg the amount that not having ed recovery tailored to work with your adhd and autism fucks you over #skfkfjvb i cannot express in words how much i wish people took that into consideration more