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cementcornfield · 1 year

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oh no too many youtuber thoughts under the cut (football followers look away)

ok but like….matt and ryan STILL don’t have a contract setting any terms between them. 7 years later!!! after all the shit that went down with Jackson, they finally set some up with their employees, but it never even occurred to them to set something up between themselves in case anything goes down. because they trust and love each other that much and they’re so dumb, they’re SO STUPID and BAD at business, but it’s still so ridiculously CHARMING that they care about and rely on each other and never could imagine one of them fucking over the other. like 7 years later, 8 years of friendship, and so much has gone wrong and so many terrible things have happened - things that were their fault and things that weren’t - and their friendship only seems like it’s growing stronger every day. like how??? how did they end up so lucky to find each other in all the chaos of what went down 8 years ago. when they were 2 hours apart their whole lives and even had mutual friends but still never knew each other until they were on the other side of the country and they just clicked and that was it. ugh i have so many criticisms of them and they still annoy me to death half the time i tune in but they love each other and that’s what i’m here for and i’ll bounce around from fandom to fandom and tune out and back in but i really do think as long as they are still the most important people in each others lives and they make content that lets us into that world even a little then it’s like yeah ok i guess i’m stuck here!! but anyways they really should sign a contract, these absolute idiots.

#drunk on a thursday!!!!#for the first time since october more in my feelings about youtubers than football players i'm back baby!!!#(until OTAs start lmao then i'm sure i'll dive right back in or if tee's extension gets announced - but i can care about two things!)#god i hope this post doesn't age badly and they hate each other in 2 years #but like with cow chop they were best friends too they had amazing chemistry but even thoug i denied it you could see #that james and aleks were falling apart as soon as they moved to LA #and had to go through some adversity #matt and ryan STARTEd in adversity and really haven't ahd any long periods of smooth sailing #like they may desperately need therapy and need to learn to communicte in healthy ways #but at least they seem to have each other down pretty well!#god wow all these feeling spilling out for the first time in months and i thought they were gone but #obviously they were just dormant!

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sprout-fics · 1 year

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I feel like König is determined to make his partner squirt. Like straight up craves it. Wants to get EVERYTHING he can out of them and won’t stop!!!

König is a pleasure dom. You can;t convince me otherwise. Sorry not sorry

When you had confessed it to him, you had gotten a glimpse of his eyes. The shadows of the hood had obscured the surprise there- shocked, curious, dark.

“I’ve never squirted before.”

König was a soldier, first and foremost. He followed orders with little question, dedicated himself to duty, unflinching in his mission. Yet when you had entered his life that focus had shifted, twisting on its axis so it included you.

Your courtship had been a gentle, entreating thing. His words were always quiet but direct, a soft confession spoken in the shadows of a safehouse, in the shade of a ruined building. He was endlessly tender with you, as if afraid that any sudden movements would startle you from him like a deer in the glade, seeing nothing but your fleeing figure vanishing into the distance. It had taken time to convince him otherwise, and now König revered you, devoted himself to you less as something unattainable and more as something to win, to conquer.

So, when you confessed this to him, he had dedicated himself like any soldier would. He had consulted, researched, obtained supplies, logistics, and strategy until he was certain.

He waited until you were both on deployment, quiet and reserved until he’d taken you back to the shabby, sparsely furnished pace he called his home. Crowding you into the entryway, fingers fastening themselves on your pants, his words seizing at the core of you.

“Tonight.” he told you, and his words left no question. An order, an irrefutable statement with little room for error.

That had been hours ago.

He’s split you on his cock, taking his time to make sure you can accommodate his absurd girth and length. Yet he doesn’t thrust, doesn’t budge despite the seeping, scorching clutch of you around him. It’s enough that he’s inside you, at least for now. It’s enough because he’s bent over you, chest rising and falling rapidly as one hand braces above your head and the other rubs frantically at your clit. He’s gasping encouragements into your ears, desperate queries as to what it takes to make you fulfill that prophecy you spoke of.

“Like this?” He asks, and you’re gasping, eyes glazed over and finding his but unseeing as you search for that thing buried deep inside you, the one he seeks with such undeniable fervor.

“Y-yes.” You tell him, even though you aren’t completely sure, blissed out on the absurd stretch of him inside you. Your legs are trembling, calves pressed up on either side of his head. He never took the hood off, too keen and desperate to ensure your own release, to speak his promise into existence. “Harder.”

It’s not enough. You can feel the glimpses of it in the distance, but it’s a small wave compared to the tsunami he’s seeking. The force of it isn’t enough to drag you out to sea, to make sure you flood the length of him, drowning you both.

He can tell. He’s ever attuned to your body, strung as finely as the weapons in his hands.

“It’s okay, Leibling.” He murmurs, and you catch his eyes once more, glinting in the dimness of his bedroom. The sheets spool and tangle under both your forms, clenched just tightly as all the nerve endings in your body, singing for release.

He stretched past you, his mammoth reach grazing against the bedside table before he retrieves an object that seems absurdly small in his hands.

“This will help.” He tells you, and you catch a single moment of auditory buzz before the vibrator pulses against your clit and you arch into him with a cracked broken cry.

“Shhh.” He hushes, and there’s a hand petting your hair even as you pulse and thrash under him. “I’ve got you, Leibling. Almost there.”

The inertia of it threatens your senses. It’s almost too much and yet still not enough. You need more, need him.

“König.” You gasp, and the world is faded around you to obscurity. There’s no war here, no rapid pop of gunfire, or flashbangs or slickened slice of bloody flesh. Only him, only you, only your building, unfurling release that builds at the core of you where he’s buried deep inside. “N-need you to move. Please-!”

Your plea is broken off as he resumes his thrusts in gentle, rolling motions that pierce at the heart of you, grinding against the brightness that you so desperately want to unleash.

“Harder.”

He fulfills your request with little protest, hips drawing backward and setting a steady, unflinching pace that drags at your walls, batters at the helm of you even as he presses the vibrator down.

“Maus, Maus.” He whispers, and you open your eyes, fixate on his gaze. There’s something you’ve hardly seen there before- an intent, an obsession that feels almost unhinged, with your bare form squirming and arching and gasping under him, desperate for the thing he’s yet to give you.

“Schön.” He mutters, only to himself, and his eyes are hardly seeing as they gaze down at your face, slack, eyes barely seeing as he draws you ever closer to your climax.

He shifts then, forces his cock at just the right angle and you sing to him then, voice crying a high note forced from your throat as he bludgeons at just the right angle. He finds it again, then again, his aim ever true, the strength of him unflinching.

“There.” He tells you, and it’s enough, just enough to send you spiraling over the edge and into completion. Your voice is a scream you don’t hear as you arch impossibly high, driving him deeper just as something warm and liquid spills from you, coating you both in molten desire.

He’s still murmuring down at you as you come down, hand tangled with yours, trying to draw you back to him.

“Good.” He tells you, incapable of saying little else. “Good, Maus. Let me take care of you. It will be good, I promise. I promise.”

You can’t deny him. You’ve never been able to. You never will.

#König #könig x reader #könig x y/n #konig x reader #könig imagine #18+#minors dni #smut #this was unhinged sorry #In my defense im desperately drunk #thursday night thots #drabbles

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charmac · 2 months

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What is this Don't Hug Me I'm Scared-ass promo for S9, jesus christ

#iasip #sunny 9 #this is freakkyyy #getting drunk and going through old sunny stuff to cope with life #sorry everyone #side note half of this being the wrong day of the week and date is funny as hell #wednesdays #thursday sept 8 #sure

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sircolinmorgan · 8 months

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"My old man was a devil for the drink. It's what did for him in the end. I'd hate to see you go the same way. You're young, you're smart. Break the habit before it breaks you."

#endeavour #endeavour itv #itv endeavour #endeavour morse #shaun evans #roger allam #fred thursday #endeavouredit #scenes that i loooove #the bit before this where morse is talking about the cufflinks and slightly desperately goes 'i've just remembered'#like he's trying to claw back some dignity and it breaks my heart :(#the drunk on the bus with great hair #my gifs #endeavour1

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nerfpuncher · 20 days

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Echo: I'm not a chef, but boyardees days getting harder and harder to get through.

#the bad batch #star wars #tbb echo #mom trooper echo #who is somehow the dad joke king #oh echo i just wanna be your best friend #like get wine drunk on a thursday night and gossip friendship #incorrect bad batch quotes

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ikiprian · 3 months

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wip wednesday: damian inherits bruce’s adoption issues au! (wip: one-shot) (1k/3k)

“Damian,” Bruce starts, gently. “How many cats do you have?”

Damian sniffs. Captain Alfred shifts unhappily in his arms, so he readjusts his one-armed hold. “Don’t be foolish, Father. Alfred is known to be the only cat here.”

Behind his back, he used his free hand to signal Return to Base to Silly Alfred. Unfortunately, direct scrutiny limits Damian’s movement and confuses the hand sign. Double unfortunately, Silly Alfred is a master of charisma, not obedience. He continues to bat at the coiled door stopper as if he’s not about to compromise his entire squad.

“That’s a sentence with one too many clauses,” Jason pokes.

“This concerns you, how, Todd?” Damian snaps. “You don’t even live here!”

“Ooh, and there’s a sentence with a few too many claws-es!” Jason’s smirk stretches wide, almost into a proper smile. Clearly, he is enjoying the idea of Damian getting caught. Does he not understand what is at stake?

“Bruce?” comes a tired voice. Tim, the fool, stumbles into the room, apparently done with his weekend-long casework bender. “The computer’s running some numbers— can you make sure nobody touches the program ‘til I wake up?”

In his arms is Friendly Alfred. Hungry Alfred trots after his heels.

Bruce, for all his mastery of deceit and the fine-tuned control of expression that entails, freezes.

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underdark-dreams · 3 months

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May I kindly ask for your thoughts on Cal x Dammon?? I wondered if you had loose ideas on their dynamic?

I have so very many thoughts about them 👀

Cal initially gravitates toward Dammon because he's such a good listener

Can talk to him about Rolan, and Lia, and Elturel, and the Descent, and a lot of other things he feels like he can't talk about at home because they're too painful

When Rolan is going through it with his apprenticeship, Dammon is the person Cal finds himself going to for comfort and soothing

Their first kiss is at one such very emotional moment--Dammon can't take any more of seeing Cal so upset and leans in for a kiss

Immediately regrets it because the timing feels strange, starts to apologize

Cal cuts him off by leaning in for another kiss

Dammon gets super, duper fastidious about all of Cal's equipment. Won't let him out the front door in the morning until he's inspected his armor and weapons for the smallest dents

Cal teases him but honestly loves it so much. Especially the way Dammon's eyes get that focused, professional glint

I feel like Dammon, being older and probably more experienced, leads a lot of the physical parts of the relationship. And what a gentle person to have as your first

But we've all seen Cal's 16str so I really just want the Boy to get spunky and top his hot forgemaster boyfriend

Cal throwing Dammon around a little bit and Dammon having a moment of realization that he is very much Into That™️ would honestly clear my skin and do my taxes

#forgive me i'm drunk on a thursday night #and i really love these two #and all tieflings forever #cal x dammon #bg3 tieflings

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moshpitpuppyx · 1 year

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[This song] is for reproductive healthcare for every single person in this building tonight. This song is for the inalienable right of every single person in this building tonight to identify as whatever gender and sexuality they see fit. This song is called Signals Over The Air.

-Geoff Rickly of Thursday introducing Signals Over The Air in Poughkeepsie, NY

#Geoff Rickly #Thursday #thursday band #Tucker Rule #norman brannon #steve pedulla #stu richardson #tom keeley #tim payne #i know they don’t tour but they’re in the band ok leave me alone #my video #full collapse #signals over the air #sorry if these tags are bad i’m drunk #geoff

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bryndeavour · 1 year

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Mr. & Mrs. Strange

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sunshinelikerain · 1 year

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blame the sangria

#me #selfies #septum #girls with piercings #girls with curls #girls with curves #gwlg #bi babe #chubby babe #body positive #wine drunk #thirsty thursday

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dictee · 1 year

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#posting my vampire failmarriage p #rn at 12:48 am on a thursday #please dont read if u know what i look like <3 #wait i forgot i posted drunk selfies forever ago . nvm.#You know who you are

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sprout-fics · 11 months

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For my Thursday Thots, this came to my mind 🤭😳

I feel like König knows how to eat pussy. How, I do not know, but that man just KNOWS how to make Maus release her little squeaks~ I’m talking they could be in the most risky situations or areas, like in a broom closet or somewhere in the training area. And König has 2 positions for Maus depending of the area: he either has her pinned to the wall with her legs thrown over his shoulders or pinned to the floor in a nelson, keeping direct eye contact as his lips close around her little clit, sucking on it as Maus just squeaks and tries not to cry out so they don’t get caught~

Tries telling him it’s too risky or she’s too sensitive, but he can’t help himself sometimes, he likes seeing her face flushed and her thighs squeezing around his head 😳

This man eats pussy for breakfast lunch and dinner

There’s a hand splayed on your stomach. The width of it spreads low across your belly button, the thumb tucking into the soft flesh below, in the dip just below where a sensitivity tickles across your senses. It keeps you still, grounds you, prevents you from arching upwards even as something wet and warm presses against your entrance, and forces a low, long moan up from your chest.

He still has his gloves on.

The thought alone is enough to send pleasure lacing sharply through your veins, warm and viscous and nearly dizzying with its effect. The word feels sharp in contrast with the pleasant buzz between your legs as Konig allows the arousal of you to gather on his tongue. He drinks it down like ambrosia, relishes the taste of it. The groan that echoes from him echoes against your clit and you have to teeth your lip to prevent a moan from escaping. The walls of his office are thin, and despite the fact that he’s a colonel, it means little for the people who happen to pass by in the hallway outside.

There’s a fist shoved between your teeth as his lips fasten around your swollen clit and he sucks. It’s too much, and you're barely able to contain a little cry of desire that whimpers past your lips, eyes scrunched shut. Konig;s eyes gaze up at you, his hood tucked out of the way so you can see the silvered scars that snake up his jaw towards his ears, forcing his lips into a permanent scowl.

“Mm, that’s no good, Schatz.” He murmurs against the soft flesh of your thigh. Breathless, intent. “You;re too quiet.”

“K-Konig- '' You try, but it’s useless, because he descends once more with renewed effort, and the hum of his voice vibrates through you hard enough for a shiver to force its way up your spine- force a shuddering gasp past your lips.

You feel a dull, insistent pressure circling your entrance and you realize dimly that it’s his fingers again, teasing, retreating, circling again, over and over until you beg for it.

You refuse, bite harder into your fist- enough to leave indents of your teeth

Yet as Konig gently pushes a single finger into you you squirm on his touch, enough for his hand to press you flush to the wall once more.

“Still, Shatz.” He issues to you, low and eager, voice dragging deep in his chest almost like a warning.

You try, you really do, but without the use of your voice the excess energy resulting from pleasure needs to go somewhere so it doesn’t force up your throat, revealing you to the other officers passing outside the seemingly empty office.

A little stretch, and there’s a single finger inside you now. Insistent, broad, the moisture of your arousal pooling over the leather of his glove.

“So pretty, Schatz.” he tells you eagerly, and your eyes flick down to catch his green gaze as he lowers himself to your mound once more. You watch as he tongue flicks out, pressing flat against your clit for only a moment before his mouth descends and he sucks

You cry out unexpectedly, slapping a hand over your mouth a moment too late and praying that nobody in the surrounding offices has somehow heard the sound of your desire for him.

“Louder.” He tells you breathlessly, fingers scissoring inside you even as the slickness of you drips over the soft fabric of his gloves. “I want them to hear, Schatz.”

“I want them to hear you are mine.”

#konig x reader #könig x reader #konig x you #König x you #könig fanfiction #thursday night thots #minors dni #I am. drunk. apologies for spelling errors

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housh · 1 year

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