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that-spider-witch · 3 years

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On “Dead” Cultures and Closed Spiritual Practices: Why Colonialism Is Still A Problem.

Let me start this by saying that, as far as my knowledge of Paganism and Polytheism as a whole goes, I’m what the internet witch community calls a “Baby Witch”. I’m stating this out of the gate because I know there will be lots of people, including witches who have more experience on the craft than me, who might decide to ignore what I have to say based on that fact alone, stating that I’m not knowledgeable enough to give my opinion about this.

Here’s the kicker: I’m a ‘baby witch’, yes, but I’m also a twenty-six year old Venezuelan woman. I’m an adult. I’m Latina. I’m a Christian-raised Pagan,but I’m also a Latinoamerican woman over all other things including that. I grew up on this culture, these are my roots. It is because of this background than I’m writing this post today.

Looking through the “Paganism” and “Witchcraft” tags of this website, I’ve seen a few posts throwing indigenous deities and spirits’ names around on lists alongside deties of open cultures. Yes, you can know better by doing your own research and not going by what just a random Tumblr user wrote on one post (as I hope its the case with everyone on this website), but the fact that pagan beginners are still getting fed misinformation is still worrisome to me.

There’s nothing like reading a so-called expert putting Ixchen (Maya), Xolotl (Nahuatl) and Papa Legba (Vodou) on the same damn list as Norse, Hellenic and Kemetic deities and tagging it on the tags aimed at beginners who might not know better to truly ruin your morning. I’m not mentioning user names here: If you know then you know.

To quote @the-illuminated-witch on her very good post about Cultural Appropriation:

“Cultural appropriation is a huge issue in modern witchcraft. When you have witches using white sage to “smudge” their altars, doing meditations to balance their chakras, and calling on Santa Muerte in spells, all without making any effort to understand the cultural roots of those practices, you have a serious problem.

When trying to understand cultural appropriation in witchcraft, it’s important to understand the difference between open and closed magic systems. An open system is one that is open to exchange with outsiders — both sharing ideas/practices and taking in new ones. In terms of religion, spirituality, and witchcraft, a completely open system has no restrictions on who can practice its teachings. A closed system is one that is isolated from outside influences — usually, there is some kind of restriction on who can practice within these systems.”

A counter-argument I’ve seen towards this when someone wants to appropiate indigenous deities and spirits is to use the “dead culture” argument: Extinct cultures are more eligible for use by modern people of all stirpes. It is a dead culture and dead religion. It would be one thing if some part of the culture or religion was still alive, being used by modern descendants, but the culture died out in its entirety and was replaced, right? They were all killed by colonization, they are ancient history now, right?

Example: “If white people are worshipping Egyptian deities now, then why can’t I worship [Insert Aborigen Deity Here]?”

To which I have two things to say:

Ancient Egypt’s culture was open and imperialistic, meaning they wanted their religion to be spread. This is why Kemetism is not Cultural Appropriation, despite what some misinformed people might tell you. Similar arguments can also be made for the Hellenic and the Norse branches of Paganism, both practiced by people who aren’t Greek/Norse.

Who are you to say which cultures are “dead” and which are not?

Religious practices such as Vodou and Santería certainly aren’t dead, not that it keeps some Tumblr users from adding Erzuli as a “goddess” on their Baby Witch post, something that actual Vodou practitioners have warned against.

Indigenous cultures such as the Maya and the Mapuche aren’t dead, despite what the goverment of their countries might tell you. The Mapuche in particular have a rich culture and not one, but two witchcraft branches (The Machi and the Kalku/Calcu). Both are closed pagan practices that the local Catholic Church has continuously failed to assimilate and erase, though sadly not for lack of trying:

“The missionaries who followed the Spanish conquistadors to America incorrectly interpreted the Mapuche beliefs regarding both wekufes and gualichos. They used the word wekufe as a synonym for ideas of the devil, demons, and other evil or diabolical forces. This has caused misunderstanding of the original symbolism and has changed the idea of wekufe right up to the present day, even amongst the Mapuche people.”

For context, the Wefuke are the Calcu’s equivalent of the Familiar, as well as reportedly having more in common with the Fae than with demons anyway.

This and other indigenous religions are Closed because it is wrong for foreigners to just come and take elements from marginalized groups whom are still fighting to survive and that they weren’t born into. To just approppiate those things would be like spitting in their faces, treating them and their culture like a commodity, a shiny thing, a unique thing to be used like paint to spruce up your life or be special.

I know some of you are allergic to the word “Privilege”, but on this situation there really ain’t a better word to explain it. You weren’t born here, you don’t know what it is like, you are only able to see the struggle from an outsider’s point of view.

If a belief or practice is part of a closed system, outsiders should not take part in it. And with how many practices there are out there which are open for people of all races, there is really no excuse for you to do it.

Why Colonization Is Not “Ancient History”

If you have kept reading all this so far, you are probably wondering “Ok, but what does Colonization has to do with any of this?”

The answer? Everything.

With the general context of culture appropriation out of the way, let me tell you about why the whole “dead culture” argument rubs me the wrong way: Here in Venezuela, we have a goddess called Santa Maria de la Onza, or Maria Lionza for short, whom’s idol statue I have been using to illustrate this little rant. If you happen to know any Spanish, you might recognize the name as a derivative of Santa Maria, aka the Virgin Mary, and you are mostly correct: Her true indigenous name is theorized to have been Yara.

And I say “theorized” because it is a subject of hot debate whether she was really ever called that or not: Her original name, the name by which she was adored and worshipped by our ancestors, might have been forever lost to history.

That’s the legacy of colonization for you: Our cultures were stolen from us, and what they couldn’t erase they instead tried to assimilate. Our ancestors were enslaved, their lands and homes stolen, their artwork and literary works destroyed: The Maya and the Aztec Empire were rich in written works of all kinds, ranging from poetry to history records to medicine, and the Spaniards burned 99% of it, on what is probably one of the most tragic examples of book burning in history and one that people rarely ever talk about.

People couldn’t even worship their own gods or pass their knowledge of them to their children. That’s why Maria Lionza has such a Spanish Catholic-sounding name, and that’s why we can’t even be sure if Yara was her name or not: The Conquistadors couldn’t steal our goddess from us, so they stole her name instead. Catholics really have a thing with trying to assimilate indigenous goddesses with the Virgin Mary, as they tried to do the same with the Pachamama.

On witchy terms, I’d define Maria Lionza as both a deity and a land spirit: Most internet pages explaining her mention the Sorte mountain as her holy place, but it is more along the lines that she is the mountain.

You’d think that, with Venezuela and other Latinoamerican countries no longer being colonies, we’d be able to worship our own deities including her, right?

As far as a lot of Catholics seem to think and act, apparently we are not.

The Catholics here like to go out of their way to shame us, to call us “cultists”, to ostracize us, with a general call to “refrain from those pagan beliefs” because they go against the Catholic principles. Yes, the goddess with the Catholic-sounding name, a name she happens to share with a Catholic deity, apparently goes “against Catholic principles”. You really can’t make this shit up. (Linked article is in Spanish)

This is just an act of colonization out of many, of not wanting to stop until the culture they want to destroy is gone. Don’t believe for a second that this is really their God’s will or anything like that, they are just trying to finish what years of enslavement and murder couldn’t. They might not be actively killing us anymore, but they still want us dead.

So no, colonization is not some thing that has long passed and now only exist on history textbooks: It is still happening to this day. It is by treating it as old history that they can keep doing it, and it is by pushing the narrative that our indigenous cultures are “dead cultures” that they try to erase our heritage.

Because we are not dead. We are still here, we are alive, we have survived and we’ll keep on surviving, and our gods and goddesses are not yours to take.

¡Chao! 🐈

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levyfiles · 4 years

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Only 9 years of Anger but it’s been 30+ years of trauma.

I’m a Canadian multiracial woman who grew up in a community that was not as diverse as it is now. Since I was a little girl, I’ve encountered several instances of baffling behaviour toward me that only in hindsight did I come to understand it was because of my colour. The jokes about watermelon, dumb edgy nonblack kids who think I’ll think they’re cool if they drop the n-word around me. Some fool who everyone thought was funny in high school lead a rendition of Hero by Enrique Iglesias and replaced the word hero for “negro” as he played guitar at a Christian school camp retreat to zero consequence. I was nicknamed Aunt Jemima by older boys because I wouldn’t date them. All this stuff was background noise because my number one awareness of being a Canadian was that despite all this, I would never be treated as bad as an indigenous person would be treated in this country. So I laughed off the jokes, ignored the jabs, ignored the n-word, played the “cool black person” who let things slide because that was how you survived. I made it to my 20’s being passive and moderate, and at some juncture I realised my friend circle was occupied by people who used my colour and my race as a punchline. It was like something snapped in me after college; I stopped being passive, I wanted to learn how to be myself and be proud of my heritage instead of acting like I was some ambassador for every white person in authority who wanted me to nod and say “no no I’m okay with your opinion, so please hire me.”

In 2011, I broadened my friend group to people who had had similar experiences but hadn’t backed down, people who had a community to back them up so they didn’t cower at the idea of facing their own trauma. That’s when I started to make friends online who came from different and diverse perspectives. Starting that year I began reading first-hand accounts of police brutality cases and their large numbers. I heard about black sex workers in the states being harassed and disappearing when they complained. I heard about the way young black men are taught to keep their hands visible because even a parking ticket could get you killed. I was angry and heartbroken but I noticed that despite the fact that I was furious and cross-posting everything I learned on twitter and every other blog space I occupied, barely anyone who wasn’t black wanted to interact with it. It was like I was touting some kind of religion, asking people to believe that people in and out of this country had a disease called racism.

The few people who used their public platform to talk about it were dismissed as crazy. After Trayvon Martin, my heart just stayed broken, and then the "mysterious suicide" of Sandra Bland and the mug shot they took with her body propped up in the police station when she had already been murdered fully wrecked me because so few people cared. There was always some excuse as to why these people deserved to be murdered; as if suddenly people got amnesia about the ideal of the justice system and due process. As if people should really be all right with a young teen being shot in the street was all right because there was no one else there to see it happen or why. Soon followed a rash of different cases, and almost everyone close to me who wasn't black had some opinion about it whether that's telling us not to get too angry, to protest the way MLK jr said we should when his very own words talked about anger and pain and the way it spills out of people who only want to exist. He said unrest doesn’t develop out of thin air and that it’s the language of the unheard. I watched Colin Kaepernick get publicly ridiculed and watched white creators whisper a little about it if they weren’t against it. There was a shyness in the energy about the content I read or watched and I had somehow accepted that that would always be the case with people working with platforms online. I watched Tumblr delete a whole tag about BLM because people decided it was starting arguments. I watched white content creators make jokes about Tamir Rice, about Kaepernick until they stopped getting laughs.

It's now been 9 years later and even though 2011 was the first I had ever sat and listened to the truth about these cases and I had been furious and hurt since then, it was not the beginning of the problem and my making noise about it and trying to make people understand at the time fell on a lot of ears that didn’t want to listen. People who were experiencing the pain first-hand were screaming louder and louder until Hollywood got a nice chokehold on it and posted a print of Chris Pine with tears in his eyes and called that the face of the civil rights movement.

So now I find that I’m experiencing a strong sense of deja vu watching people younger than me, or my white peers finally get it. I see posts about it everywhere, white creators and white celebrities posting support and empathy. It feels like a sharp awakening of the world and the chance that there’s hope for all the people who have been yelling and screaming for justice long before I ever became aware of the score.

It also feels terrifying.

Because sometimes white creators don’t take stock of their audience. They see them often as a monolith of people who support and engage with their content, so they’ll post a handy instagram quote, or an edit with links to donate; they’ll post their own call to action. Now the activism is something it never was before, it’s “Cool”. BLM is trending; it’s a quick view count and an absolutely easy and performative way to say “Sorry” for all the times in the past these white creators said the n-word, all the times in the past they dismissed diversity because it was inconvenient to them, and all the times they ignored the casual racism in their own content and the transformative content of their audience. So their white kid audience, who are happy to follow them blindly to the next trend, don’t fully understand the impact of what’s happening now. They’re making their edits, they’re changing their twitter handles to ACAB and BLM, they’re performing just fine. It should be a good thing, right?

Then why are there white kids out on the street saying they’re protesting. Saying they are here to make change but they’re caught with baseball bats breaking windows, instigating confrontations and running away for black people to deal with it. Why are they out there living their favourite purge fantasy so they can go home satisfied and safe while people are being tear-gassed and trampled by police? Why do they go home and make their mood boards and their t-shirts and their etsy sales for cool “protest looks”. The tired tiktoks that are just recreated audio of black creators being spooned off so a white face can be the one saying the very thing black creators are brave enough to put on social media at the risk of getting hurt!

Don’t get me wrong. This is all necessary in the growing pains of a worldwide movement. It’s the #stopkony2012 of 2020 because even back then when the performance was on, no one was actually doing the reading. Internationally the whole internet went ham on a cause that had already been dealt with by its own victims.

What I’m basically saying here is that fighting for human rights isn’t a game; this isn’t a cool new thing you can jump in on because the chaos keeps you hidden. Take this seriously; bring this energy to the polls, and KEEP this energy for the future even when the trending page isn’t interested in giving you money for your cause, even when your friends get bored and decide that they want to move on to the next cool thing to perform activism for. Be real. Continue to practice empathy for those whose stories you ignored up until now. Non-Black content creators, your new awareness of something happening is not an absolution of your willful ignorance in the past. Do your reading; educate yourself. Because while you may be just discovering the outrage and the hurt of witnessing a black person being murdered and the pulling teeth aggravation that comes with zero justice, people have been dealing with this far longer than you or I.

#black lives matter #racism #personal

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fidespeaks · 3 years

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About Fides: An Introduction

Hello, my name is Fides! It’s very nice to meet you and, however you’ve fond your way onto this blog, I’m happy that you have. In this post, I hope to cover a few important things before getting started with the meat and potatoes of this blog: namely I’d like to introduce myself and, in the name of transparency, give you as many details about myself and my background as possible while still maintaining relative anonymity. Some things have been left intentionally vague (i mean. kinda LOL), this is to protect myself. I hope you’ll understand.

SO! Let’s start with the basics...

My name is Fides. I am in my late twenties and the only information I’ll give regarding my location is that I am currently in the PST timezone and I live on the American west coast. I currently work as a retail associate, but I have experience in food service & professional animal care as well. I am currently pursuing an undergraduate degree in forensic psychology with a minor in philosophy. I have an avid interest in clinical psychology, criminology / behavioral analysis, social psychology, sociology, anthropology, political sciences, race relations, gender studies, and a lot of other stuff that I spend the majority of my time studying (reading books on the subjects, listening to podcasts, ect). I have been roleplaying on this hellsite since 2010 and I have seen my share of bullshit, believe me.

As far as gender goes, I an AFAB genderfluid enby. I prefer they/them pronouns, but I won’t be miffed over she/her or he/him or anything else that you would like to (respectfully) refer to me as. I don’t mind gendered slang (queen, king, dude, girl, babe, boss bitch, etc) but I ask that you not refer to me as any derogatory sexual terminology typically associated with women (slut, hoe, thot, skank, etc). I have been out as nonbinary for a little more than a year but have been actively surrounded by enby friends for over a decade.

Sexuality / orientation wise I am demisexual, biromantic, and polyamorous. I have been identifying as bi since my early teens and am out to everyone in my life. I often refer to myself as a lesbian because I am in a lesbian relationship (so if you have issues with enby lesbians, you’re just gonna have to leave or get over it). I am married & my wife is a trans woman who has been out for a little less than a year and has a masters degree in post civil war reconstruction & the race relations of the time. We have a child who is around three and told me this morning that their gender is “zombie”. So... do with that as you will.

I am not neurotypical. I was professionally diagnosed with ADHD sometime in kindergarten and I have spent long periods of my life both medicated and unmedicated (I am currently medicated). I also have been diagnosed with C-PTSD and am currently undergoing EMDR treatment with a licensed therapist. I am a CSA survivor & I display a good number of the symptoms of BPD although I haven’t been officially diagnosed with it.

As stated above, I am American. My mother’s side of the family is white as fuck my father’s side of the family is latinx & native american. I am extremely white passing and was raised by my conservative christian mother & step-father, so while I do consider myself of color, I also am hyper aware of the fact that to the outside world I always have been and always will be white as fuck. I try to use this to the best of my abilities to fight against racism and implicit bias when I see it and am, as I said, fully aware of my privilege. I will always concede to BIPOC when it comes to matters of race, but I also do not pretend that that voice and group are a monolith and I always do my best to make sure I have collected a multitude of opinions regarding a subject before formulating my own. Plus, I think that white saviorism is one of the worst behaviors any sort of leftist or progressive white or white passing person can engage in and part of this blog (as you will see) will def touch upon that.

Uh... what else? I consider myself pretty far left. I grew up christian (lutheran) and am now some weird flavor of agnostic existentialist. I believe that capitalism is cultivating a hellish apocalyptic landscape and needs to be stopped at all costs (I’m a socialist ig lol). I think that everyone suffers from implicit biases that cause them to act poorly and while they need to be educated the way that we do it currently in the rpc and the community at large are disgusting, counter productive, largely a waste of time, and extremely unhealthy. I dislike both antishippers and proshippers equally and.... uh.

That pretty much lays out most of my background and both my privileges and lack thereof. Next time (ON DRAGON BALL Z) I will think I’m gonna talk about and discuss privilege and ladders of it and how it stacks and the like because I think that’s pretty important to why I made this post beyond just introducing myself. Or... first I’m going to make a post about what I kind of want to do with this blog and why I’ve made it and THEN I’ll start talking about the interesting stuff to lay the groundwork for what I really want to do and talk about here so...

Thank you to everyone who basically read this really boring summary of myself and my life! I look forward to talking more with y’all. <3

#001. ⟹ FIDES SPEAKS.

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kathyprior4200 · 3 years

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Fallen (post episode 4)

Cletus, Keenie and Collin broke down in heavy tears as they surveyed the area around them. The audience lay slumped and dead in their seats after being shot with arrows and bullets. Metal scaffolding lay bent and wrecked on the wooden stage where Blitzo, Moxxie and Millie were moments before. The former opera singer now lay dead and crushed underneath a stage light that had fallen on top of her. And underneath a broken piano lay the dead crushed body of Lyle Lipton, the elderly inventor they had tried to save.

The scene was eerie and empty. The nervous well-dressed piano guy had promptly fled the scene, traumatized after the events. And those accursed imps had jumped through a portal back to Hell in triumph.

As Cletus cried some more, fountains of tears sprung from his eyes. Keenie and Collin rushed in to comfort him. The trio had never felt so vulnerable before.

“I…I can’t believe this!” Cletus wailed. “We were so close to helping out that man…even though he was shitty and old…”

“Language,” chided Keenie.

Cletus continued. “We did everything right, but now we can’t get back through.”

“It’s not…completely your fault,” Collin said, putting a hoof on his leader’s back in comfort. “It was all an accident.”

Cletus raised an eyebrow at his comrade. “What do you mean ‘not completely?’”

“Well…” Collin began.

“You’re right, it was those imps’ doing!” Keenie interrupted, her white lacy wings flapping in frustration. “If only Deerie had seen what they were doing to us.”

The three took some deep breaths and sobs as they slowly calmed down. With a wave of his hand, their fancy dresses and tuxedos clothes were replaced by their regular outfits: reddish overalls for Cletus, a light blue shirt and white bow tie for Collin and a yellow dress for Keenie.

“What do we do now?” Collin asked, almost in a whisper.

“First thing’s first,” said Cletus. “We find a safe place to stay for a while. Who knows how long we’ll have to stay on Earth?” The others nodded in agreement.

“Urgh,” Keenie scowled. “First those filthy demonic trash decide to mock us and now we have to live among these…messy mortals?”

“Oh come on,” Collin gave a small smile as the three left the theater. They looked again sadly at the deceased humans and made crosses with their hands before flying away through an open window. “Things will work out. We’ve helped humans all the time. Surely they can’t be that bad!”

The three of them later gasped in sheer horror on the streets in a nearby town. A homeless man sat on a corner smoking a cigarette, while his comrade vomited alcohol down a sewer drain. A large man with a mustache ripped off a woman’s shirt as she leaned into him with a messy kiss in an alleyway. A skinny thief snatched a woman’s purse before he was brutally shot in the head by a man with a baseball cap. Two men were fighting each other and swearing, one of them landing a punch that toppled the other to the ground. As a policeman dragged a body away, a nearby band blared on bloodstained instruments. The logo on the drum read “Hail Satan!” in red messy paint.

A group of men sitting on a bench glanced at the cherubs hungrily.

“Anyone want mutton chops tonight?” The others laughed and displayed sinister grins.

C.H.E.R.U.B. stood with open mouths for several seconds. Cletus laughed nervously and made a motion with his arm and fist. “Let’s go check out someplace else!”

The three took to the sky, trying not to look at the watchful eyes of passerby.

Collin’s fluffy light indigo ears perked up. “Hey, I know what we can do! We can keep doing our job like before, helping people in need! Now that those imps are back in Hell, we are free to do what we like.”

Keenie shook her head. “As much as I want to, I don’t think we should just yet. I’m worried that we’ll just cause more deaths.”

“I might have to agree as well,” said Cletus. “I mean, how can we tell anyone about our accomplishments if we aren’t in Heaven anymore?”

“I miss my mom and dad,” Collin whined. “How will they react when they find out about what we’ve done?” He gasped. “What if they already know? What if all of Heaven knows and now sees us as…one of them?”

The others gasped.

“You don’t mean…” Keenie began.

Cletus rapidly shook his head. “No, no, no, no! I refuse to believe that our one mistake would lead us into becoming demons!”

“What if…it’s already too late?” Keenie wondered in fear.

Collin imagined all three of them trapped in long black demonic hands, their wings and halos gone. Flames turning their eyes red and their skin a charred black. The pale face of Lucifer towering behind them and letting out a maniacal laugh.

“Oh my gosh, oh my god!” Collin cried, his eyes wide as he shook his head free of the fear.

Keenie slapped him hard on the head. “Hey, I told you to not use the Lord’s name in vain!” Collin sobbed again and rubbed his large white wool of hair as he flew beside them.

The setting sun turned the sky a brilliant orange as the three cherubs searched for a safe place to stay the night. Their white feathery wings and halos glowed and flickered in the fading light. Their silhouettes followed the setting sun before they landed in a quieter part of town. Neon signs were already humming in the twilight. From inside nearby windows, several woman were wearing dark lace and high heeled boots, pole-dancing to upbeat music. The cherubs huddled close together, staying under streetlights to avoid the dark unknown. Their wings flapped silently as they moved forward inches off the ground.

“I miss Heaven’s comforting light,” Keenie sighed. “And God’s light most of all. It seems like this place is devoid of it.”

“There’s always good somewhere in the world,” said Collin with a hopeful expression. “You just have to know where to look.”

“The only thing I see are shabby buildings and humans indulging in their disgusting desires,” Cletus remarked. He mentioned to a nearby man who burped loudly after stuffing an entire pizza into his mouth. “The sooner we get home, the better.”

Collin took a piece of cheese he bought and popped it into his mouth. He grumbled. “The food here is prison food in comparison to what we have back home. It just tastes so…bland and heavy.”

Keenie munched half-heartedly on a carrot. “It’s still edible at least.”

“Demons eat nothing but raw meat,” Cletus added. “Back up above, we could enjoy all the vegetables, holy fruits, and drinks we wanted. Every day was an endless buffet…”

“Stop making me hungry,” Collin remarked. They fell into silence as a nightly breeze ruffled their clothing and wooly fur.

“I think we should get human disguises soon,” Collin later mentioned as they hovered over the sidewalk.

“Yeah, like those hideous costumes worked out well for those imps,” Cletus rolled his eyes. “Relax, Collin. I’m sure some of the humans will notice and treat us with the respect I…um, we deserve.”

Collin huffed. “I sure hope so.” He clapped his large front hooves together nervously as if trying to say something. As they continued hovering past some alleyways, a low growl was heard. Keenie paused, her hair stood on end.

“Guys…what was that?” Keenie asked, looking around.

“Probably just Collin’s stomach,” Cletus mentioned.

“No, I swear it wasn’t me,” he said. “Through I am very hungry.”

The growling grew louder…it seemed to be coming from behind them. The three slowly turned around and spotted a figure in the shadows. It was a large gray canine with beady black eyes…and very sharp teeth. Drool dribbled onto the ground by its paws.

The cherubs screamed and scattered away in flight. The dog barked loudly and raced after them. The cherubs zoomed up ahead, avoiding passing cars and maneuvering around figures of people. They zoomed over black trash bags as the dog barreled through them at high speed. The dog raced on all fours, snapping its jaws as it moved closer to them.

“Get back!” Keenie called, moving her yellow hooves in a frantic kick, just missing its face. The beast just grabbed at her dress with its teeth and yanked.

“Aaaahhhh! Get off, you beast!” she cried.

Cletus yelled in fury and raised his hand in the air as he flew. He then glanced upward in sheer shock.

“I can’t summon my golden crossbow!”

Collin flew nearby, muttering a prayer while shaking. He took a deep breath and speed toward the dog. He landed a punch to the dog’s eyes…and with a yelp, the dog let go of Keenie’s dress with a rip. Keenie gasped and shook herself. “My dress!” she cried as she stared at the torn slobbery hole. “Look at my dress!”

“Be thankful it’s not your backside,” Cletus mentioned. Keenie seethed at him as Collin came flying back toward them, the dog at his heels. Keenie shoved Collin backwards toward the dog, sending the both of them tumbling to the ground.

Cletus and Keenie flew as fast as they could until Keenie spotted a beacon in the distance. A tall brick building had a large white Christian Cross on top of it, appearing golden as the sun continued to set. Several stained glass windows showed images of Jesus and the Virgin Mary surrounded by golden backgrounds. Even more spectacular was a nearby towering Christmas tree decorated with gold and silver ornaments and a six pointed star at the top.

“A church!” she called. “Hurry!”

They landed in front of the large wooden double doors, catching their breath.

“My wings are sore,” Cletus groaned.

“No more flying for a while,” Keenie agreed.

Cletus knocked politely on the door. “Hello? Anybody in there?”

So far, no answer.

Just then, they heard panting from behind them. They whirled around…only to find Collin hunched over, his clothes torn up. There were several scratches all over him.

“Oh Collin, thank goodness,” Cletus sighed in relief.

“Keenie…” Collin began. “What was that back there?! I’m lucky I escaped at all!”

“I had to distract the dog so we could get away,” she said.

Collin glared and stomped one of his cloven feet. “That’s the second time you pushed me in harm’s way! And the first time was with a whole pack of wild animals!”

“You’re still fine, right?” she asked.

Collin let out a “ha!” followed by a “no.”

“Don’t ever do that again,” he said, folding his arms. The cherubs waved their hands and their clothes and skin were repaired.

Just then, the door solely opened. A woman dressed in a black robe stared into the distance. “Hello?”

“Down here,” said Cletus. She looked down with surprise in her eyes.

“May I help you?”

“Hi,” said Cletus. “We got lost from our home and now we have nowhere to go. May we stay for a bit?”

The woman peered closer at them, narrowing her eyes. “You three look familiar…”

The cherubs gulped. Seconds dragged on.

“Do I know you?”

“Um…” Cletus began, sweat trickling down his forehead.

“Of course!” she called, standing up. “You’re those guardian angels who go out and save people, yes?”

Cletus stood proudly. “Yep, that’s us!” The other two let out soft gasps and looked at Cletus in worry.

The woman looked around. “Hurry, inside now,” she said. “The world is full of people willing to take advantage of you savior children.”

The cherubs bowed in thanks before heading through the door.

“Technically, I’m twenty-four,” Cletus muttered.

“I thought we were hundreds of years old,” wondered Keenie.

Collin grinned, redness briefly spreading to his cheeks. “You’re so beautiful, you don’t look a year over two-hundred.”

Keenie “bahed” at him in annoyance before they made it into the main chamber. The high vaulted ceiling made even the cherub angels feel small. The sky was a dark indigo through the opening above. Rows of arched gaps circled the area near the ceiling, and stone pillars held the ceiling on either side. The floor was in a black and white checkered pattern while a few Greek inspired designs caught Cletus’ attention. The rows of seats were polished and clean, and several white candles were lit in holders, emitting a peaceful glow.

The woman made way for them and came back with a bowl of fruit and grass. Collin munched on blueberries, Keenie on pineapple slices and Cletus started on red apples. Cletus stared into the apple’s red surface. “Just like the Garden of Eden,” he said to himself. “When Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge, she had disobeyed God’s order. She gave the fruit to Adam who then ate one. God banished them from the Garden, cursed them to grow old and die…thus began the fall of man…”

Cletus stared closely at the apple’s surface, the red morphing into the face of a red goat. A grin of sharp white teeth, red eyes surrounded by black, a glowing black Ring with a Roman numeral five on it…

“Are you okay?” Collin asked.

Cletus whipped his head to Collin. “Oh yes, I’m fine, I’m fine,” he said, forcing a grin.

Cletus turned and set the apple aside.

“I sure hope we don’t age too,” Keenie added in concern. “I don’t want to lose my pretty face and looks.”

“That inventor managed to survive for a while,” Collin said.

“Barely,” Cletus mentioned.

“We’re still angels,” mentioned Collin. “It is very rare for us to be erased from existence without good reason…”

“Please don’t say such things!” mumbled Keenie.

The woman went up to the ornate alter and poured in some herbs into an incense burner. The smell of frankincense and myrrh calmed the cherubs down after a while.

“I’ll leave you to it,” said the woman. “Stay for as long as you need but stay out of sight more often than naught. If you need anything, just let me know. Be careful dear sheep babies.”

“Bless you miss,” said Cletus.

The cherubs bowed in thanks as she left.

“Sheep babies?” Cletus scowled. “I’m not a freaking baby!”

“Don’t worry about it,” said Collin.

Keenie walked up to a stone basin nearby as Collin and Cletus bickered for a bit. Gazing in a small pool of holy water, Keenie thought she saw a ghostly face of a pale woman with long blonde hair, a black crown and large curved horns. The face briefly shifted to another white face with orange eyes and flaming wild auburn colored hair. She blinked a few times and it was gone. She only saw her wide-eyed reflection faintly on the surface. She turned away and arrived beside her comrades.

The altar before them was made of gold, as was the ornate cross situated on top.

Keenie, Collin and Cletus knelt down in prayer, tears falling from their faces.

“Oh mighty Lord, please have mercy on us,” Cletus said. “Please forgive us for the mistakes we made here on Earth.”

“Father…we only tried to help a broken man get onto the right path,” Keenie said. “We didn’t mean to kill him.”

“We just want to go home,” Collin added. “We’ll take whatever punishment you give us but please…tell us if there is anything we can do…”

More moments passed as night fell. Stars and a moon were visible through the glass windows.

“God help the outcasts,” Collin chanted softly. “God help our cherub people. We look to you still. If you can’t help us, nobody will.”

“I ask for glory. I ask for fame. I ask for redemption to shine on our name,” added Cletus.

Keenie continued the chant. “We ask for your guidance, a way to get by. Help us right our fate, listen to our cry.”

Cletus finished, “Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost, please watch over us.”

All three said “Amen!” before a colorful portal of clouds opened above them. The cherubs each looked up.

“Lord Gabriel?” asked Cletus. “Is that you?”

A sound of clapping hooves greeted them, followed by a haughty laugh.

“My my, what a marvelous…pitiful performance!”

The brown furry face of a winged deer cherub came into view. A sense of smugness and superiority was clearly reflected in her eyes.

“Deerie?!” the cherubs cried, their faces morphing into angry scowls.

“Wow, I’d expect a more proper welcome from deferential devotees such as yourselves. The human world getting to you so soon?”

“What are you doing here?” Keenie asked. “We called for Gabriel.”

“Gabriel sends you his best regards, and says that you guys can rise again and be fully redeemed after a while…”

The cherubs smiled until she added, “heheh, yeah, no.”

Their faces fell.

“I’m afraid you guys can’t re-enter Heaven, like I said before. Nothing you can do about it. Rules and all.”

Cletus turned red in the face. “But it was an accident! The imps fought us off. They were the ones trying to kill Lyle Lipton!”

“But they didn’t, correct? Based on what Heaven has seen, you three not only killed Lyle unintentionally…but you caused much more death and suffering.”

“What?!” all three cried out.

Collin thought back to all the dead audience members. They had been so involved in fighting off their rivals that they didn’t even notice them.

“It was I.M.P.’s fault!” Keenie argued.

“Yes, but you also played a role in it,” Deerie explained. “You blindly shot your arrow, which later caused the piano to crush the old man. We see everything, you know.”

Cletus then turned to Collin. “About that time earlier when you said it ‘wasn’t completely my fault…’”

Collin stood his ground. “It was though. It was all our faults.” He jabbed a hoof into Cletus. “But you were so adamant to kill off those imps that you didn’t consider who else would be at risk. We should’ve taken the fight outside! I tried to tell you guys earlier!”

“You’re a literal sheep,” Cletus replied, getting into Collin’s face. “You never said a word; you just followed my orders like you were supposed to.”

“Those imps are nothing more than dirt that the dead tread on,” Keenie added. “We may be angels, but we never go down without a fight. Surely you’d do well with being less of a wimp, Collin.”

Collin scoffed. “I’m sorry. I thought we were supposed to be the good guys. The loving guardians who actually help those we meet. I just realized that we didn’t let Lyle Lipton learn his little lesson.”

“Five times fast,” Cletus snickered, but Collin ignored him.

“We didn’t tell Lyle how sinful it is to be so immersed in his own greed. He really could’ve used his riches for good if we had stayed to help him like we were supposed to! We should’ve explained to our victims why any of their bad behaviors were wrong. But instead we just left them all behind!”

“What did you think we were trying to do?!” Keenie yelled. “We showed him nature, childhood wonderment, young love and the arts. And it would’ve worked if it weren’t for those meddlesome…”

“You done?” Deerie casually asked in the air. She finished filing her hooves and had a bag of popcorn with her. The cherubs turned back to her.

“Far from it, bitch!” Keenie yelled.

“Language!” Collin warned.

“You three have learned nothing, huh? You see scraps, I was briefly summoned here by you guys and I gotta get back soon, so I may as well elaborate on your consequences. Let’s see…”

Deerie summoned her clipboard and her reading glasses. On her notepad, she had drawn cats and Invader Zim characters. A side note read “more musical episodes?”

“Not only did you kill one human, but you also killed multiple mortals in the theater. This has made Azrael, the Angel of Death very upset. There are many people that are chosen to die at certain times and let me tell you, having to cross and uncross multiple names can get pretty irksome.”

The cherubs stood silent.

“In other words, you’re also in trouble for simply…oh I don’t know…doing a business and going to Earth without the permission from your superiors! A big no-no.”

“But we were saving people’s lives, and teaching them God’s true path…” Cletus began.

“…or more than likely, saving humans just to boost about your company accomplishments.”

“I knew it!” Collin called, glaring at Cletus. “Our main purpose is to help humans because it’s the right thing to do. I knew I should have stayed at my record-keeping job.”

“You and Keenie thought joining C.H.E.R.U.B. with me was a good idea and it was!” Cletus protested.

“Cherubs are supposed to do various record keeping for soul count, religions, sins and choices made by humans etc.,”Deerie said. “Just proves that I do my job better than you three after all!”

Keenie smirked. “You sure you’re still not jealous because we got to go on exciting adventures? That we became more famous than you?”

Deerie chuckled. “More like infamous now. Cletus especially, you gave into your pride and wrath during the fight. You cherubs are supposed to help spread the holy word of God, and not go into the human world unless necessary.”

The cherubs lowered their heads a bit.

“Not to mention several people you saved ended up as criminals. You know, the kind of people who abuse their children, scam others into giving them money, enslaving citizens in other countries…”

“How were we supposed to know all of that?!” Keenie cried. “We saved their lives at the request of their loved ones in Heaven!”

“Which, in turn can cause more global suffering and even an altering of history itself,” Deerie explained. “Lyle was destined to die and go to Hell anyway. Your actions are not befitting to your titles as cherubs in the first place. I’m surprised no one has managed to sell you on the black market yet. I guess you can be referred to as…black sheep now!”

Deerie burst into laughter, slapping her furry knees.

“Get out,” Cletus muttered.

Deerie laughed some more, wiping tears from her large eyes. “Oh dearie me, I’m so clever!”

Cletus thought he saw a grinning man’s face with red eyes and licking his lips behind Deerie.

Cletus shook the vision away before yelling, “No I’m serious, get the fuck out!”

“Language!” the other three shouted, their voices echoing in the vast space. The silence was deafening. Or the noises were hearing.

“Well then, I wish you three a fun time on Earth,” Deerie said. “Feel free to not call me again. I have no use dealing with fallen sheep anyway.”

“Can you at least tell us what will happen to us next?” Collin asked.

“Oh that’s actually pretty simple,” Deerie explained. “I.M.P. will be dealt with in due time. But as for you three…”

She pointed her hooves at Collin, Cletus and Keenie, who each gasped in turn. “In Gabriel’s words: ‘You will still redeem and protect human souls but this time under closer supervision. You will learn to live among them for a while in the hopes that your arrogance toward those different from yourselves will subside over time. Only after your true redemption may you return to Heaven. I have the utmost faith in you.’ End quote.”

The three cherubs sighed in relief.

“Oh one last thing,” Deerie grinned. “I forgot to tell you the best part.” Collin and the others did not like the look on her face.

Deerie continued. “Now that you’re here on Earth, you will all be vulnerable to human emotions and sins. Pride, greed, lust, anger, you know it.”

“Not gonna happen lady,” Keenie spat with her hands on her hips.

“Everyone save for God has flaws. You didn’t think that redeeming yourselves would be a stroll in the clouds did you?”

The cherubs looked at each other.

“Yeah, so basically you all have a limited time to prove yourselves on Earth. A couple days at the very least?”

Collin whimpered with droopy ears as his white halo above him briefly flickered.

“Yeah, so if you don’t complete your mission in time…it’s a one-way trip down for you!”

The cherubs yelled while grabbing onto each other.

“Yes indeed!” Deerie said. “I can see you three reluctantly joining up with I.M.P.’s rivals to enact your revenge, turning into the winged devils you were destined to become!”

“Nooooooo!” they cried in horror.

Deerie then let out a childish laugh, waving her hoof. “But hey, that’s just a theory! I look forward to hearing about your…pandemonium adventures in the next few episodes!”

Deerie waved and called, “That’s a wrap! Bye!”

Cletus charged at her again, but she vanished through the portal and it closed.

“No, no, no!” Cletus sobbed again, his co-workers comforting him.

After several minutes, the cherubs stared at the stars and moon through one long window.

“You know guys,” Collin admitted, “Though you might be a pain in my behind at times, you’re still like my family. Whether we’re in Heaven, Earth or Hell…we can get through anything as long as we stick together.”

Keenie gave Collin a comforting side hug. Cletus soon joined in and he sighed. “That’s one thing we can all agree on.”

After staring at the heavens, Cletus said, “We’d better rest up…we have lots of work to do.”

The three cherubs huddled together underneath another Christmas tree, sleeping on a comfortable red rug.

Though the mighty had fallen, they could only hope that the meek could rise.

#helluvaboss #cherub

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tearapline · 5 years

Text

BTS ' blood sweat & Tears Japanese ver mv ' Colours meanings/Code theory

No one can ignore the strong Colours shifting through BS&T jap ver MV! & of course it’s not Random (BH Do Everything For A Reason)!There are Already so many Great theories regarding symbolism, So Here I will just Write about colours as the title Sets.

I know it’s too late to write about this, But I didn’t find anyone Do a separated article So Why Not? (I’m a New ‘April019’ ARMY HeHe)

Sorry for the long Intro (•^•) …. LET’S START. READY? SET, GO: (its long, brainstorming & All; so Bring snacks)

Colours that keep appearing on the mv are Blue, Red, Green, Purple & somehow Yellow. let me explain each one of them shortly & then Clarify How do they together interfere with the symbolism!! (let's assume there two personifications of each member adult persona immature one)

First: BLUE:

Blue represents the Wisdom & stability of being Mature.

Suga & jhope Aura (adulthood)

JHope dancing on a Blue background:

Young jimin looking around feeling unfamiliarity towards adulthood (blue room)

Second: RED:

Red refers to Juvenile joy & pure Passion of youth.

Here is young jimin

-Young jin Gazing at ‘The crash of the fallen Angels’ painting & His sight is all red (being on pure realm realizing the existence of dark)

The painting actually depicts the rebellious angels dragging Down other angels to Hell.

Young jungkook aura

Even V :

Jimin dancing on a RED background :

THIRED: PURPLE

Purple is the colour of mystery, symbolizing The unknown complex Feeling of Meeting the devil & Facing maturity Pain! The cruelty of realizing the existence of the Dark realm. Mixing Red (childhood) + Blue (adulthood) → Purple (Between them: Youth)

-J-Hope’s Legend ’ Wings comeback trailer: BOY MEETS EVIL ’ aura portrays it perfectly. Clearly the whole MV is on Purple background:

Jungkook awakes finding purple Blood mark (maturity pain) showing wings (maybe his wings are protruding?)

Jimin eating an Apple (apple symbolizes temptation sin forbidden apple of garden eden)

The scene of Jin suffering

V dazing, as if he is Drunk?

GREEN:

One of Green colour meanings is ’ Rebirth’. Reminding me of ‘DEMIAN’s Breaking the Egg concept (Demain: a novel by Hermann Hesse the inspiration of Wings album entirely I’m sure you know about this) Green is to Shake Hands with the Devil, to Sin! This colour meaning is the most obvious on the MV & Even clearer on the Original ver (Korean one):

Jimin Here is literally mixing the apple with the juice then it turns into green

Let’s talk about the most interesting scene (ladies & gentlemen Fasten your Belts!!)

Okay ehm ehm we have a residence on blue light & RM siting so manly on the left side (adulthood) (the residence represents stability)

A Hotel on Red light & jungkook siting so politely on the Right side (youth) (the motel represents uneasiness of the young)

In the Frame we got a green light as RM is about to offer a liquor to jk (SIN, ruining purity).

(As you see the scene proves my whole theory.)

What happens after jk is forced to drink the liquor?

His surroundings become BLUE & he Looks dazed cause The maturity is hitting him so hard.

Then a yellow light!

(I will explain it further Below)

YELLOW:

yellow = Enlightenment !! the exact moment of noticing the wickedness.

the painting jin looking at is on yellow (the actual painting is colourful) (enlightenment) even the Binocular is Golden LOL

getting back to the very start: jk waking up looking surprised inside a ’ mainly ’ yellow room, even the light above him is yellow!(enlightenment) other colours are green & purple (the pain of realizing the evil is reason he astonished)

On the wall Colours are painted in a way looks as they’re jk’s wings woow!!

-Jhope sits in front of ‘Pietà ’: (a subject in Christian art depicting the virgin Mary cradling the dead body of Jesus) pointing an arrow (if we consider it as pointing to his left symbolizes warding off evil if right protection. both meanings interfere with being on motherhood realm) the lights are purple + yellow

Keep reading if you Don’t wanna miss the real joy! (bring a cup of coffee it’s deepening)

Further Explanation:

Young jimin (Red lighted) looks at His maturing-self in the way reaching Adulthood (the one inside Blue room) & suga quickly covers his eyes as he looks Hesitant to eat the apple (to accept his fate going through maturity). (What if jimin is just a visitor on Suga own world (as suga is his mentor, showing him the way toendure maturity)? I mean in the mv beginning there is a piano (suga first love) who knows!! (yall lets appreciate how the walls looks like piano inside)

jk entering a restroom in a red light to spit out the Green liquor (going back to his pure young side refusing maturity) suga is trying to stop Him (encouraging jk to handle maturity soreness move on) feels like the same thing suga did with jimin when he closed jimins eyes preventing him from yearning & longing to his pure young-self. but jk pushed him away!!

lights changed to purple jk fainted + black smoke spreads

jhope pulling an arrow (pulling an arrow back symbolizes conflict tension life struggle facing maturity releasing it from the bow represents positive transition in one moving forward mature)colours meanings of Yellow & purple interfere.

Is jhope pulling the arrow towards V? Does He want to Help V breaking His world? (OH! Does it sounds strange? Then let me quote the most famous line of the novel DEMIAN: ‘the bird fight its way out of the egg. the egg is the world. who would be born should first destroy a world’ I’m Gonna use this concept a lot so please put it on mind.)

-V is Suffering inside a blue veil, trying to be out to the Red surroundings but couldn’t(v agonizes maturity pain desires his youth back)

What Do you see?

On a purple light Jimin & jungook holding V, V looks worried & scared, Jhopes hand aiming something Green towards him (not sure what is it, Green small arrow?) (the point is jhope about to ruin v pure youth)

If you gonna argue how on earth I know it’s jhope’s hand then:

Same shirt!! yeah .

As jhope ruins V purity the arrow is pulled, it hits white bringing in green & red (hitting purity: youth been ruined)

Jhope on a blue room wearing half Blue half red T-shirt (mature jhope is aware about adulthood youth) throwing pills into a yellow can while smiling (jhope is no longer suffering letting go of his past struggles he throws pain away) (jhope’s facial expressions says it All

Look at this again (oc I didn’t take this screenshot to convince u about jhope t-shirt sleeve only haha)

On this scene it Seems like all members are already matured (the way they sit) leaving the pain behind them as they watch jhope throwing the pills. jk with a blue lollipop (matured) (I couldn’t point out all but) suga’s piano, Rm mirrors, curtains (jin) all behind. Also there’re so many small palms all around the room (palms symbolize victory triumph peace as they overcome the struggle)

RM’s room is Red & green: on green light there’re so many red items ‘roses, curtains’ even the walls painting is red-green scratches! but How?

(I know what’re you thinking now: like ‘why isn’t it purple you’re manipulating.’ Just keep reading)

first Look at the very left, the surrounding of the room is Red (the director could cut it to directly show the inside but bighit is leaving clues) or simply mirror’s reflection shows Red. So Rm is actually on his young realm which is starting to be ruined. this scene timing comes with jk being forced to drink (which are very interfering with youth being ruined concept). Red roses symbolize romance love + in front of Rm there’s the same cup of Green liquor he offers to jk (both ruins purity) the existence of the dressing partition & the mirror support the idea of RM being his young-self (changing cloths symbolizes personality changing the reflection refers to self-reflecting ego shows instability of youth)

Still not convinced? What if this whole scene is made to prove Yellow meaning? (green and red mixture makes yellow: pure youth being ruined so one be enlightened)

Rm looking at his reflection the light changes to yellow while the lyrics goes ‘the wings resemble the Devil’(rm acknowledges what looks devil to him is makes mature gives wings fly) (his facial expression be like I know it all now)

you see now? it’s a state of enlightenment not suffering this is why there’s no purple. What happens after that?

The mirror breaks into pieces & the Blue rays shine (as rm breaks his egg finding way out to maturity concept)

¬ Mixing specific shades of Green & Red doesn’t give yellow but Brown. on the mv Brown appears on some scenes giving the same meaning of yellow:

-Jin’s scarf before it gets purple lighted:

-The lamp

The painting

Curtains & the sofa

& here, HERE!!

¬ what’s going on here?

Blue lighted V is scratching a Green wall walking up stairs (mature v is rebelling he wants to go back his young-self) (look at the thing he’s scratching by it is Red.)

The colours gradually change ‘Green, purple, then Red’ from down to up, as V is trying to return to his pure youth BUT!…

V finds out there is no way back, he is already trapped as the whole sky is ruined green & his world is changing.

- The fact that youth & adulthood are unseparated is expressed a lot through the mv specially at the ending:

What bangtan is telling us is that “it’s alright!” Maturing is hard, painful, storming & makes you feel not yourself but “it’s alright!” Sensing the existence of the evil, passing by it or even commiting it- doesn’t mean that’s who you are. You’re just maturing. Forgive yourself Learn & move on.

Jin young world falling apart:

The room jk awakes in breaks down (it Goes from yellow to green then into blue/ a galaxy of Red, blue, yellow & purple interfere)

Scares on Rm hands left after the mirror breaks, the room is no longer Red but green & yellow. (the paint that Revealed on the wall is “the Fall of Icarus” by Pieter Bruegel: Icarus fell from flying too close to the sun. Allegory of pride, youth & the dangers of going to extremes) see? very interfering.

Look here(Red through blue/ Green through blue):

Green & Blue crossing:

Bonus:

The station RM works on (you can see the Red though everything is black & white):

Jin gives RM a Green lighter!!!

Trivia: I’m sorry if anything sounds wired or clingy I’m not native, I truly tried my best wording this theory but English isn’t my first language after all. Please support me.

#bts #bts mv theory #bts theory #bangtan #bts senarios #bts world #bts wings #bs&t #japanese version #boy meets evil #bts japan

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onceaponamidnightdreary · 4 years

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The Crimson Crusader

Ksk--ksk--testing-sks- ello- ske- esting one to three, testing one two three. Alright, we’re live. Greetings civilians. This, as you may not know, is the Crimson Crusader, your average vigilante that you don’t know and love to hate. Though, I ain’t your average vigilante. Why, I’ll get to that later. I’m perched on a rooftop, doing my daily patrol. It’s about ten at night and things are a little low, crime-wise. You may want to know why I’m broadcasting this recording, as people like us like to keep our identities hidden. It won’t matter, you won’t find me on any records, or government documents, those have been burned. Heck, I don’t know why I’m doing this myself, but I’ve gotten tired of all you conspiracy theorists. This is my story, where I came from.

See, I was born and raised in the town of Lindhold, of which you are probably familiar. You see it on the news all the time, all the crimes and the rich people up the hill. See, the town was divided into three parts, the Uppers, the Middle, and the Slums. Figure it out by yourself what they mean. O’course, I just happened to be born in the worst part of town. Down there, we didn’t call it Linkhold, nah, to us, it was known as Fester. Cuz everything was always rott’n and festering, the buildings, the food, the people. ‘Specially the people. I was born in a dead-end alley-way with one-eyed alleycat as my nursemaid. The first thing I saw, apparently, was the cat hissing as me. Funny enough, I’ve always loved the creatures after that.

My mother named me Angel Crimson Aldrich, though nobody called me Angel. You called me by my middle name, or you didn’t talk to me at all. Why my mother named me this, I didn’t know. I was as far from Angel as you could get. She said it’s cause I looked like one, with my sienna-pale skin, slate-grey eyes. And white-blond long hair. I cut it the next day, lopped off the sides and the back and it stayed that way ever since, wild in a devil-may-care way. Nothing to grab. One thing I couldn’t figure out was my last name. Aldrich. My mother's name was Evalin Savanna, so I figured it was my father. Never knew him, but I hated him all the same. It was ‘cause of him that my mom suffered. Never even paid a stupid child support check. I bet he didn’t even know I existed.

I lived with my mom in a rotting wooden flat, just the two of us. She died when I was five, pneumonia. Never had the money to afford the medicine.

The tenant evicted me and I spent the next two years as a street-urchin, pickpocket extraordinaire. Don’t feel bad for me, I was’n the only one. Hell, those streets were riddled with kids like me. Nobody batted an eye. It was just life in the town of Fester. I went to elementary school, I was smart for my age. The school was deplorable, a library the size of a cupboard, overcrowded classrooms, you name it. Dropped out at age six. From then on, my life moved on faster. At seven, I joined my first gang, held my first gun at nine, and killed my first man when I was eleven. Those streets make you grow up fast.

When I was thirteen I was lucky enough to run with a gang called the Crusaders.

Sound familiar?

I kept with them, moved up ranks. I was smart, I followed orders, I was ruthless, I fought like a demon. At fifteen I was the right hand girl to the leader, a chick called Smoky, cause of her eye-shadow. She was like an older sister to me, teaching me everything I knew. She was the toughest person I know, and it ain’t easy for a girl on the streets. You learn to survive, to not trust. She died in a gang fight, promoting me with her dying words. I was sixteen and I became leader to the second largest gang in Fester. Back then, gangs were everything. You paid homage to the right gang or you died trying. Turf wars were battles that decided life or death. We controlled five city blocks, and they were everything and we gave everything to defend them. But the Crusaders weren’t your average gang. I doubt any gang led by a woman is. See, we didn’t deal drugs, ammo, or counterfeit money. And I know you’re wonderin’ what we did do. See, ‘Crusaders’ means a person who fought in the Crusades, a medieval battle for Christianity or something. But today, it comes to mean someone who uses vigorous, aggressive movement for the defense or advancement of an idea or cause. That's what we did. Since the police were useless and usually bought off by a gang, crime raged rampant in Fester. If you walked down town at night, it was extremely likely that you would be mugged, shot, stabbed, or kidnapped.

Or all of the above.

So me and my gang, we dealt out justice, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth situation. But we had a very meticulous system. If you stole, the first question we would ask is why. If you stole to feed your family, we would let you go. If you stole because of greed, we would take double what you took. And thrice the second time. The third time, we cut off your hand. If you murdered for revenge, we understood that. If you killed for power, for gain, for absolutely no reason at all, well, then you died. If that made us bad people, we didn’t know. But it was the only type of justice we knew and we were good at it. We also stole from the Uppers, the rich, white folk in their god-awful fancy McMansions. They never walked in our lower part of town, didn’t bat an eye at the crime and the poverty, didn’t know an’ didn’t care that one peice of furniture in their house could feed an entire family for a year. Man, we hated them, them in their fancy cars and clean clothes. Worst of all, they did nothin’ to deserve it. They were all born into money, like their parents before them. And their parents before them. So we stole from them, hacked into their bank accounts, emptying ‘em little by little.

Wait- sks there's something,- sks- I’ll be back- sks-(Gunshots and yelling in background. Thumps and bodies hitting the wall.)

Sks- ksk- krshhh-sks-kay I’m back. There was some idiot who thought he was at the top of the food chain ‘cause he had a gun. Now he’s got a major concussion and the entire police station in his face.

Idiot.

So I should probably tell you about some people that were in my crew. Every gang has a crew, the inner circle basically, then a few runners, people that send messages and help with other stuff but aren’t there fulltime and lastly, your hoard, which were people that were under your protection that other gangs couldn’t touch but only ran favours for you now and then. My crew and I were real tight, we had to be, watching each other's backs and all.

My right hand man was a guy called Leon, smart as a whip and tough as a shark, and man he could get things done. He used to run with the Sidestreet Shavers, I think, before they kicked him out ‘cause he saved a little girl's life. I heard, took him in, and he’s been loyal ever since.

My tech guys, the hackers, was a girl, ex-heroin addict nick-named Half Print, and her sweetheart, a thin, skinny blond guy called Stevie. And damn, were they good at their job. I had no doubt they could hack the Pentagon if they wanted. They had an extensive blackmail file on everyone. You know, just cause.

My muscle, two brothers, only two years apart, named Cork and Neal, just your average for-hire thug, buzz-cut, 6 foot 2, tattooed knuckles, that kind of thing. But they had good hearts, you know, real softies when you got to know them. They lived on the streets before they busted a dog-fighting ring and I gave them my protection. Genuinely good people are hard to come by.

I also had a spy/assassin, a mute girl named Stiletto, cause of her preferred weapon, and her girlfriend who was my scout, Hatchet, an african-american girl who ran away at age ten thanks to her abusive and homophobic father. She also had the largest library of curse words known to mankind, including some in different languages.

We all suffered. We all dreamed. And that's what made us different from other gangs, you know? Nobody in the god-forsaken town of Fester had ever dreamed. The place just sucked the hope right outta you. We were a group of hopeless dreamers, wishing for something more than this hellhole. We wanted to go to college, to travel, to help others like us. But we can’t. Can’t afford any of it.

Which brings me to the next part of my story.

It was dangerous, living in a gang. You run the risk of getting beat up and shot.

Which was exactly what happened to Stevie.

Now we weren’t as close as Me and Leon but we were still great friends. And looking at his broken and bleeding figure I wasn't thinking clearly. He was the most fragile out of my crew, and I thought he was dead. So we did the worst thing possible.

We called 911.

We were gang members with a bleeding dying figure on our hands. But we were hysterical and young enough that they didn’t arrest any of us. They let Half Print ride in the ambulance and the rest of us ran. Straight on ran the six blocks to the hospital.

The news was grim.

He was alive but in a coma. Busted rib cage, punctured lungs, ruptured organs, several broken bones. They needed to do surgery or else he wasn’t gonna live. We agreed, saying that we would pay them back.

The price came to $530,000.

We didn’t have that type of money.

Hell, we didn’t even know how to get that type of money.

But Hatchet heard about a government program that needed willing human volunteers to experiment on. They were offering $600,000.

We argued about who should go, everyone offering themselves. I told them it was my duty, as leader and left without a word. I appointed Leon as the head until I returned. No one mentioned what we were all thinking, that they might never see me again.

From then on, everything becomes a little blurry.

The scientists didn’t bother using anesthesia, so I remembered pain. Lots of pain. They took my right eye, too. Replaced it with a mechanical one. After the experiments, I trained, and everything became a haze. I learned weapons use and types of fighting styles, my drugged up mind not even questioning it. They made me stronger, faster, with inhuman reflexes. There were 20 volunteers of people desperate enough to need the money.

After a year, there were only three left, including me. I still don't remember what happened but apparently I killed them. Then I burned down the government building. The head scientist escaped, a man called Dr. Armada.

Then I went back to my gang.

They pressured me to tell them what happened, how I was stronger then normal, stronger than human.

I didn’t have a lot of answers to give them. They were excited for my powers, as they called it. They wanted to use it to stop crime, to do the things we strived to do.

I told them no. I didn’t want to be like the superheros in New York. Nothing good came out of that, look what happened to Tony Stark. Dead after saving the world. I wanted to lay low after all that had happened.

We had a fight, … and… I left. One of the greatest regrets of my life. As I was heading out, I heard a girl crying out for help, with my inhuman hearing. I got there without thinking and stopped the guy attacking her. It was laughably easy. I realized that they were right and I headed back to apologize.

And I will never forget this, as I headed back, the warehouse doors were wide open and the moonlight illuminated red stains on the floor.

Blood.

I rushed in but it was too late. Wide, glassy eyes, bodies cold and stiff. And I heard a gasp to my right. It was Stiletto, the girl who never spoke in her damn life. She looked at me and… I-I’ll never forget this. She said “Remember Crimson, doing what is right is not always easy. But doing’ what is easy is not always right.”

And then she was dead.

I swore then and there that I would become what they wanted to be. The dreams they never had, the fight they always wanted.

I became, in honour of them, the Crimson Crusader.

That is me, Angel Crimson Aldrich, signing off, for now.

#madeup superhero #badass lady #oc

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jonsafan-blog · 5 years

Text

House of the Undying and Valyrian Daggers

As expected, the prophecy is coming true. Discusses leaks later in the post.

Daenerys walks into the throne room and it is covered in snow/ashes. We now know that is snow. She puts down a torch, and I didn’t realize this before but I think that was foreshadowing she was going to burn it. She approaches the throne but does not sit on it. Then she hears her dragons and departs from the throne room.

My analysis of this scene after the fact is that Daenerys will never really be queen. She won’t stop and rebuild... because we know she is beyond that. She doesn’t see the people of Westeros as people. She can’t liberate people who are already liberated... merely conquer them and cause them fear.

She hears the call of her dragons... because it is the dragons that inspire her. However, my belief is that she will try to fight Jon in the next episode, politically or militarily, and what we are hearing is the dance of dragons.

That conflict will lead to her doom.

Daenerys goes under the Wall and crosses to the other side. It’s whiteout winter over there and she shivers. Then she sees a dothraki hut like the one she shared with Drogo. She enters it, and suddenly it’s like she’s on the Dothraki sea because it is clearly warm outside. She’s in her happy place. And guess who is there? Khal Drogo and Rhaego. Aww. He calls her the “moon of my life.” The rest of their conversation is in Dothraki.

She can’t believe it. She replies, “This is dark magic, like the magic that took you from me.” She approaches, uncertain and adds, “Took you from me before I could even...”

But then Daenerys changes. She’s happy and says: “Maybe I am dead and I just don't know it yet. Maybe I am with you in the Night Lands."

Khal Drogo looks up at her and replies, “Or maybe I refused to enter the Night Lands without you. Maybe I told the Great Stallion to go fuck himself and came back here to wait for you.”

Daenerys smiles. “That sounds like someone you would do,” she says.

She looks down at her baby, and Khal Drogo softly says, “Or maybe it is a dream. Your dream, my dream... I do not know.”

Khal Drogo is about to kiss her. “These are questions for wise men with skinny arms.” And then, “You are the moon of my life. That is all I know and need to know.”

Daenerys is starting to break emotionally as Drogo continues. “And if this is a dream... I will kill the man who tries to wake me.”

They touch foreheads. Daenerys looks at Rhaego. Dragons cry in the background. Daenerys begins to cry as she restates what Mirri Maz Duur reminded her of, but this time in the common tongue: “Until the sun rises in the west and sets in the east. Until the rivers run dry and the mountains blow in the wind like leaves.”

She walks away. Drogo is devastated.

Analyzing this I know why the final book is called A Dream for Spring. It’s not about the seasonal spring... it’s about the future Daenerys longed for herself... and it’s only a dream. It’s her realization that her dreams of the future are not going to happen which drives her mad.

But in the context of the show... here are my predictions.

When Daenerys “goes under” and “crosses the other side” it is referring to two possibilities: 1) She dies. 2) She crosses the line. Hell and immorality are implied in both, and when she goes Beyond the Wall she is becoming the Queen of the Ashes instead of Westeros.

Remember, the “snow” on the throne wasn’t snow at all... it was ashes from the city she burned down. Daenerys is fully accepting that part of herself by choosing to go under and cross to the other side.

That said, there is more to this vision, and it’s the Dothraki part which causes me to splinter on possibilities rather significantly.

We have leaks, but narratively... and based on the books... we have two destinies for Daenerys: she dies in a normal way... or she dies and comes back as the Night Queen.

What?

Oh, I got book evidence for the second one, but for the first, the leaks are pretty clear about what is going to happen: Jon eventually stabs Daenerys because his family will never be safe. Beyond that there is some uncertainty about what happens. It could be a fairly banal ending in which the story is pretty much over at that point.

Or...

Daenerys becomes the Night Queen.

There is some weird inkling of another leak, and given a leak almost noone discusses about a dothraki hut being built for the season yet not appearing in the show so far, I want to talk about my wild theory. It’s kind of bananas, but I’ve been waiting for the House of the Undying ash vision to be confirmed to share it with you.

So other leaks have stated it’s possible that Drogon carries Daenerys body beyond the wall. Jon feels so guilty for what he did that he goes into exile at or beyond the wall. Also, Bran states there must always be a night king.

For this wild theory to happen a few things must occur which nobody has discussed:

Arya is in King’s Landing.

Arya’s dagger is in King’s Landing.

A godswood is in King’s Landing.

Do you see where I am going with this?

What is Jon is given Arya’s dagger... and he kills her in the charred Godswood because BranTree DIDN’T EXPLAIN WHY ARYA HAD TO STAB THE NIGHT KING WITH THAT SWORD... but we keep being reminded of it as an audience.

Drogon takes Daenerys because Daenerys is alive-dead, and goes beyond the wall because that’s what Night Kings/Queens do to build their army.

AND OH GOD THE WILDLINGS ARE UP THERE. And so is the broken wall.

But time to settle down and talk about the book connections.

Because they are fucking interesting.

I am not even exaggerating.

Time for a primer on Dothraki religion! Or rather, religion in general.

I’m not kidding.

So there is one theory most people believe D&D dropped the ball on. And given the leaks seem kind of light on what happens next episode, perhaps Azor Ahai hasn’t happened yet. Perhaps Jon wasn’t supposed to kill that Night King, but Daenerys Night Queen.

So the Lord of Light has this great enemy called the Great Other... a god of death, cold, and darkness. The Lord of Light and the Great Other fight a continuous battle with each other over the fate of the world (A Song of Ice and Fire). Melisandre calls the White Walkers “cold children” in the books.

Are you getting chills? I’m not even to the Dothraki part, I’m building up to it.

We know that Craster sacrificed his sons to the White Walkers, and we know that the Weirwood trees are somehow connected to the White Walker’s creation.

There is also book evidence which suggests Melisandre sees Bran being tempted his teacher towards darkness as leaves flow in the wind. He is reminded the trees are rooted into the darkness and will make him strong like mother’s milk.

Who created the Night King in the show?

The Children of the Forest... who I believe are servants of the Great Other. They carved the trees and signed the Pact for peace between the Children and the First Men, leading the First Men to adopt their religion.

That said, it seems to be implied in the books that the Children and the First Men worked to defeat the White Walkers in the book the first time around, so it is possible that the Children had no idea they were serving an evil God.

When the Andals invaded Westeros, they burned down the Weirwood trees as much as they could, and the Pact ended, though the First Men still followed this clearly evil religion without realizing it.

The Andals believe in the Seven, which like the Christian is one God in seven forms. There is also a Lord of the Seven Hells who performs black arts. I think it is just another iteration of Lord of Light vs. Great Other, and the Lord of Light used the Andals to invade Westeros and try to stop the spread of the Old God religion.

Now let’s get closer to what the Dothraki believe now that it is obvious we are setting up a Lord of Light vs. Great Other fight.

Essos actually has children of the forest. They are called the Ifequevron. They lived in the Forest of Ifequevron just north of the Dothraki sea. The Dothraki did not attack them either out of respect or fear. It is believed they were wiped out by the Ibbense, and once the Ifequevron disappeared, the Dothraki began attacking the Ibbense.

They left one city that the Dothraki call the “City of Ghosts” and people that have visited report seeing trees with carved faces.

Weird how the Dothraki didn’t attack them... super weird.

Maybe because they weren’t supposed to.

But onto Dothraki religion:

They worship a horse god and Dothraki aren’t worth anything unless they can ride a horse. Their god is called the “Great Stallion.” When someone times, their god parts the grass and claims the deceased for his khalasar so the dead can ride with them in the nightlands.

What.

So we know that there is a Great Other who is the god of the dead. We also know Melisandre clearly believes the White Walkers are enemies. The Night King joined the dead to his own khalasar - a nomadic horde. And together they rode into the Long Night... Yeah. Not a coincidence.

One important function of khalasars is that when a khal dies, the groups underneath him (but no bloodriders) either fight to claim it or break apart on their own. I believe that with the Night King dead, if that wild theory is true... Daenerys becoming a White Walker is just part of the Great Other’s plan to replace his general of death.

But I’m just not done yet.

In Daenerys’s vision, she is called the “moon” of Khal Drogo’s life. She is the wife to the sun - which is a star. And I believe the Dothraki are wrong about it being the sun or that the meaning is lost in translation.

Interestingly, the others have a story about a Night King who was bewitched by a Night Queen who had skin as pale as the moon.

Oh to Dothraki death beliefs and funeral customs.

According to the Dothraki, stars are horses made of fire and the starry sky is a great herd of fiery horses running across the sky. These stars are dead Dothraki. The more fierce the Dothraki, the brighter the star.

When a horselord dies, a horse is slain so it can be mounted in death. These dothraki are then burned beneath the open sky. If a child dies before they are old enough to ride, they will instead be reborn to begin life anew.

Drogo was burned to custom: a square made of wood is positioned with the khal’s horse in the middle. Over the horse, another platform is constructed. This platform is laid east to west, from sunrise to sunset. It has three levels. The third levels is set north to south. On that level, the khal is placed with his head in the direction of the Mother of Mountains. His body is only burned when the first star has been seen in the sky.

Why did I give you all those details?

Oh boy.

Guys. I’ve been holding this crazy theory in for a while. I’m not holding back.

So let’s consider for a moment the Mirri Maz Duur prophecy... which we were reminded of in Daenerys’s House of the Undying prophecy and in the last season in the dragon pit.

Let’s remember context: Daenerys wasn’t asking about when she would bear another child... but when Drogo would be able to ride a horse again - thus be a khal again.

Mirri said: "When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east. When the seas go dry and the mountains blow in the wind like leaves. When your womb quickens again, and you bear a living child. Then he will return, and not before."

Now a popular theory and not one I discount because of Daenerys’s similarities to Cersei is that she will become pregnant. However, Daenerys is going to die or she’s going to destroy the world. But that’s not the point of my funeral description.

George R. R. Martin gave those details for a reason.

First, Khal Drogo was burned when the first star rose in the sky... and that was the red comet. That’s what happened in the books, though the show was slightly different (because none of these fine details are shared) and it doesn’t show up until season 2.

However, the show did point out it meant dragons... but back to the pyre and the prophecy.

Drogo’s second platform was laid east to west, from sunrise to sunset. “When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east.” But Drogo died unable to ride a horse... so I believe he didn’t go to the nightlands... I believe he was reborn... as Drogon. Rhaego as Rhaegal. And Viserys, who had to walk because of his crimes against Daenerys for hitting her, was reborn as Viserion.

Okay, that last one is a little silly and I’m mostly joking.

That said, Drogo was reborn on a pyre. That red comet was him rising in the west and setting in the east (dying). He was then reborn into Drogon.

From there, “When the seas go dry” Daenerys left the Dothraki sea for the Red Waste. But the “mountains blow in the wind like leaves” is meant to represent something happening in Westeros. For Daenerys to go west, first she must go east... which she did. Then she went west and the White Walkers came like leaves in the wind.

It’s possible Daenerys becomes pregnant again, but I believe what Mirri’s snide statement is really stating is an unintended prophecy. She will become the Stallion Who Mounts the World.

According to Dothraki prophecy in the books:

As swift as the wind he rides, and behind him his khalasar covers the earth, men without number, with arakhs shining in their hands like blades of razor grass. Fierce as a storm this prince will be. His enemies will tremble before him, and their wives will weep tears of blood and rend their flesh in grief. The bells in his hair will sing his coming, and the milk men in the stone tents will fear his name. The prince is riding, and he shall be the stallion who mounts the world.

The Dothraki also believe in something called “Ghost Grass” which sounds a bit like snow though it is actually a plant rumored to glow with the spirits of the dead. It is supposed to cover the whole world... and that’s how it ends.

But the Stallion Who Mounts the World? The one Mirri tried to stop?

Daenerys brought the largest army in the world to Westeros - including a Dothraki arakh army - like razor grass. He would be “fierce as a storm” like Daenerys Stormborn. Enemies will tremble (like Jon). The Bells... the fucking bells will sing his coming. Or Daenerys coming.

God damn it. I believe my crazy theory... okay? I can see the books ending this way.

Anyway, the milk men (pale people like Westerosi) in their stone tents (hey, castles!) will fear his name.

The Stallion is also supposed to bring everyone into his khalasar... which is what Daenerys basically intends to do. The Great Other is doing this by killing everyone... and Daenerys seems like an enticing general.

Essentially, I believe the Dothraki had similar beliefs as the Ifequeron like the First Men did with the Children of the Forest. Only their beliefs morphed to it Essos. Because they bring death, I think they are actually worshippers of the Great Other whom they call the Great Stallion.

But if Daenerys is the Stallion Who Mounts the World and works for the Great Other... who is supposed to fight against her?

I dunno. Maybe the man the Lord of Light brought back from the dead for some weird reason.

The Last Hero and Azor Ahai are not the same person, just like the Andal Seven are not the same as them. Details on them are pretty light so I won’t get into. They are all iterations of the fight between the Lord of Light and the Great Other though. They may not have even happened in the same places. There may be more.

So let’s look at what happened.

The Last Hero is a Westerosi tradition happening during the Long Night.

Yet here and there in the fastness of the woods, the children still lived in their wooden cities and hollow hills, and the faces in the trees kept watch. So as cold and death filled the earth, the last hero determined to seek out the children, in the hopes that their ancient magics could win back what the armies of men had lost. He set out into the dead lands with a sword, a horse, a dog, and a dozen companions. For years he searched until he despaired of ever finding the children of the forest in their secret cities. One by one his friends died, and his horse, and finally even his dog, and his sword froze so hard the blade snapped when he tried to use it. And the Others smelled the hot blood in him and came silent on his trail, stalking him with packs of pale white spiders big as hounds –

This was alluded to in the Wight Hunt, but it’s possible some iteration could happen again briefly. If Jon goes North, he will have “a sword, a horse, a dog, and a dozen companions.”

Azor Ahai goes a bit like this:

Darkness lay over the world and a hero, Azor Ahai, was chosen to fight against it. To fight the darkness, Azor Ahai needed to forge a hero's sword. He labored for thirty days and thirty nights until it was done. However, when he went to temper it in water, the sword broke. He was not one to give up easily, so he started over.

The second time he took fifty days and fifty nights to make the sword, even better than the first. To temper it this time, he captured a lion and drove the sword into its heart, but once more the steel shattered.

The third time, with a heavy heart, for he knew beforehand what he must do to finish the blade, he worked for a hundred days and nights until it was finished. This time, he called for his wife, Nissa Nissa, and asked her to bare her breast. He drove his sword into her living heart, her soul combining with the steel of the sword, creating Lightbringer, the Red Sword of Heroes.

Although he had Lightbringer, Azor Ahai did not fight alone. The Jade Compendium mentions that when the hero thrust the blade through a monster, the creature burst into flame.

There are similarities to the last one. It’s possible that a Valyrian sword cannot kill a Night King or Queen, merely the sword that created them underneath a Godswood.

It’s possible that the present timeline is mirroring the defeats or lack of personal involvement Jon has had in defeating his enemies: He could not fight the darkness himself, and it took a water dancer to end the Night King. Then he went to fight the Lannisters, but the Lannisters brought destruction upon themselves and died holding onto each other.

The third conflict, Jon will succeed in defeating his enemy because he will kill Daenerys (his Nissa Nissa). But in killing her, he powers the dagger which will later be used against the monster she becomes, and the “burst into flame” is likely alluding to the fact he will be killing Drogon.

As for the dream... perhaps when someone becomes a wight or a White Walker they are tricked into a dream they never wake up from. As Daenerys is destroying the world as the Night Queen, she thinks she is back with Drogo and Rhaego in the Nightlands.

But none of these very discrete details would ever play out in a single episode, at best just some of them, and I am just reviewing them to highlight that Book Daenerys may be on her path to becoming a White Walker herself if Jon uses that god damn dagger.

And we know he is going to stab her. And we know the leaks aren’t long enough to tell us what happens next episode.

So maybe a really unexpected twist happens and Jon accidentally creates another damn Night King and he has to put the monster down.

#jonsa #anti-daenerys #game of thrones #a song of ice and fire

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soul-music-is-life · 5 years

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I've seen some of your post on the bullshit heartbeat bill in your state and I'm just wondering how you're dealing.

I have stared at this ask for a while, wondering whether or not I wanted to get in depth into this conversation. But I do have a lot to say on the matter. A while back I drafted a blog post that I toyed with sharing, but ultimately held off. Until now.

There’s…a lot to be covered.

First, thank you for sparking me to put this out there. I feel as though it’s important enough to say what I have to say on this. And though this platform is usually used for fandom stuff (I use other platforms for my political stuff), I’m not afraid to get real now and again.

Second, let me state that I have a background in medicine and a family heavily involved and working in politics…so I know how this goes.

I’m going to pre-empt this by saying that I am not going to argue with anyone who is pro-life who reads and disagrees. If you agree, great. If you disagree, there is no point in trying to fight me…because we will never see eye to eye.

This is strictly an argument based on why I’m against politics and religion in medicine. I am not looking for a debate here. There is no debate to be had. If you can’t look at things without religion, or if you can’t understand scientific/medical facts it’s a moot point.

It’s a long one. Saddle up.

Religion vs. Medicine:

Christianity should have no place in medicine (the bible condemns polyester blends, playing with pigskin, gambling, and divorce, but Christians still shop til they drop, support football, play the lottery, and divorce their spouses). Yet we get lawmakers constantly using the bible as a talking point (”Thank God” and “As God intended”) for this argument and ignoring testimony from physicians with degrees in science.

Men (with the exception of those whose sperm fertilized an egg in a consensual act) should have no say in what happens inside of a uterus that does not belong to them (and even then, it should be a discussion between those two people and their doctor, not a government made up of religious zealot white women and white-boys without uteri).

The government should not infringe upon individual rights of medical privacy via HIPAA.

Basically:

If you can not argue without the basis of religion (or you keep using “God” or The Bible as your baseline) or if you are not someone who has a uterus or in the medical profession or a woke dude/lady, you have no fucking say.

If you are a Christian forcing your beliefs upon the population based upon a magical book that has absolutely no proof, you have no fucking say. (see Separation of Church and State).

If you are a politician forcing your agenda upon every person with a uterus based upon something you can absolutely never experience, you have no fucking say.

If you do not have a background in science and you’re basing your opinions upon a movie (”Unplanned”) that is nothing more than political propaganda (and a pro-life “advocate” who saw dollar signs and a means to fame) then you have no fucking say (and yes, I’ve seen the film, which was nothing more than a religious backed, over-dramatized flick poorly representing abortions and relied heavily upon cheap emotional manipulation and inaccurate CGI). As someone who has seen medical procedures…it was exaggerated in the film. It is absolutely not a representation of safe and legal abortions. It also does not address the confidentiality between patient/doctor (See HIPAA and the testimony of physicians in this matter).

The fact of the matter is that people who are informed, intelligent, and know about the subject in depth are against these abortion bans, because they know it’s extreme and infringes upon basic rights. This includes women, our allies, and in some cases…people who are religiouswho stand with the pro-choice movement (I see you all, too, don’t doubt that…this is not a reflection upon men and Christians in general. This is about the extremists).

If you fall into the extreme religious or non-medical community category or you are a politician with no medical training and you’re writing bills and arguing against basic human rights…you can shut the fuck up.

***

For the sake of facts, let’s break it down:

-Sexual education can be informative, and the preventatives used to prevent pregnancy can fail. Condoms break. The pill can fail (and let’s not even get into the horrible side effects that contraceptives have on women. Let’s talk about the fact that there was actually a birth control for men that companies tried to put on the market, but the side effects were too ‘dangerous’. Sure, like high blood pressure and hormonal imbalances are something women look forward to). But yeah, let’s put all the responsibility on the woman.

-Women are raped, and given the trauma that occurs…they should not have to PROVE they were raped in order to receive medical treatment…including abortion. It’s horrific enough as it is, and there is NO wrong way to deal with the trauma. They shouldn’t have an additional stigma to be treated medically.

-Women who tend to make the choice to have an abortion have looked at their options and have made an informed CHOICE (that’s what this is about). And it’s not always at the 6-8 week mark, because hey…there are things such as irregular periods. Cis-men hating on women, let’s talk about women’s reproduction for a minute. Have you ever spent 7 days bleeding out of an orifice of your body? Have you ever shed the lining of an internal organ? Have you ever had blood clots inside of your body that feel like fucking death? Have you ever had your panties soaked in blood? Have you ever gotten stressed and missed a period or had medical issues that caused you to have irregular cycles? No? Okay, so how about the stressors of pregnancy? How about the changes a woman’s body goes through? How about the emotional and physical toll it takes? Truth is, hetero-normal men who are so deep-set in their beliefs will NEVER view women as equal. Reality is…we women areintelligent enough to make our own decisions.

-An embryo at 6-8 weeks is not viable. The so called “heartbeat” is an electrical activity in a group of cells that is at maximum a few inches long. There is no heartbeat, because there IS no heart. It hasn’t formed. There is not a cardiovascular system. It’s a vibration in a cell. It is ONLY active because of the woman. At this point it is NOT a child. I see pro-life/pro-birth people going, “but…but SCIENCE…Life at conception!” without understanding the depth of their actual words. The medical community knows their shit. And people can challenge them all they want with their opinions upon when life is sentient, but the truth is that there is no brain activity this early because IT IS NOT A HUMAN. It is an embryo, which can not exist without the mother’s body. Yet politicians use the term “heartbeat” because they know there are uneducated people out there who will eat it up and back them.

-Abortion is situational, and trying to force a law upon women based upon the preconceived notion that ALL women are using it as a form of birth control is ignorant, ill-informed, and extremely sanctimonious. There are numerous reasons for abortion, and none of them are the government’s fucking business.

Why religion and politics is a slippery slope in medicine:

Using a religious bias in a political war is against everything in the judiciary and legislative branch, and it is a slippery slope that is dangerous to patient care. When we start listening to “Gods” and evangelical people over actual physicians there is a huge problem. Ask yourself this question: if you were dying and a surgery could save your life…would you call a priest to perform the procedure? Or a licensed physician? If you choose a priest, enjoy seeing your version of the afterlife, because you’re going to die.

Abby Johnson (”Unplanned) is not a doctor. She is someone who “found God” and is using that to exploit the situation with her own views as a claim to fame. She ran a Planned Parenthood (in her own words). ONE chapter, which means it’s a FRACTION of the actual unit. She does not have a PHD. Her accusations against physicians are bullshit and is frankly an insult to actual doctors who perform safe medical procedures every day.

Politicians have no knowledge of medical protocols and treatments (and in a lot of cases know an embarrassingly low amount about women’s reproductive organs). And in many cases it is old white men (and religious white women) dictating what a woman can do with her body. If you think that’s okay, you’re part of the problem.

Religious zealots hold fast to beliefs written in a fairytale rather than learn the scientific facts associated with the base of their argument. They can’t grasp the concept that an organism can be created in a petrie dish with a “beating heart”, because of muscle contractions, not because it’s “alive” or “sentient”. They would rather blindly follow a God that may or may not exist rather than listen to educated physicians who know the topic.

Rapid fire question: if an unconscious woman and a frozen embryo were in a burning building and you could only save one of them, which one would you choose? Something that is not aware and is only a potential for life? Or the actual living breathing human?

This shit is not about “saving babies”. Politicians couldn’t give a shit about babies after they are born. It’s about controlling women/trans-folk and telling people what they can do with their body (it’s funny how Republican politicans haven’t outlawed smoking or drinking, because hey…that kills you! “AnD wE aRE PRo-LiFE!”).

Anyone who can’t see that all these abortion laws are just plays for politicians to pursue their own political pursuits is an idiot.

A Note about Georgia’s Abortion Law/Kemp

In my state, there was talks that Kemp was overheard saying that even if he wanted to veto the bill he couldn’t due to “his campaign promises”. Which is absolute bullshit, because given the polls…he knew that a majority of the people in his state are against it. This bill was co-sponsored by three men and three women who are basing it heavily upon religious purposes (if you don’t believe me, look up Ed Setzler, he’s been quoted several times leaning on religious propaganda for this bill). It was then voted through by a bunch of old white men.

Convenient how they threw the one token woman up front (but honestly, fuck her…because she should know better). The fact of the matter is that those who voted on this are a bunch of “good ole boys” with religious principles trying to bypass the fact that there is a separation of church and state. This bill has had numerous polls conducted to the constituents, and while they were divided…the PRO-CHOICE voice won every single poll. Put this up for a vote and I guarantee this would not become a law.

Kemp waited weeks to sign this (unlike the governor of Alabama).

Why?

Because he knew that most of his constituents were against this (given the polls that were conducted), but due to political pressure he couldn’t veto for fear that he’d lose the religious/deeply rooted republican votes. Even Kemp seemed to realize that this is against the moral rights of his citizens. But he doesn’t give a shit. Because as long as his pockets are lined with money and he can ignore his constituents, it’s all gravy for him.

To take this a step further, this asshole is the man who pointed a gun at a kid jokingly in an age where school shootings are rampant, as a joke…for political purposes. Cuz, ya know…violence is funny.

He’s “pro-life” but he shoots things.

This man is sponsored by the National Hunting and Fishing association, who supports killing living breathing things with a heartbeat for sport or “because it tastes good”.

I challenge anyone who is so “pro-heartbeat” to never shoot their guns again to kill something. Because hey, life is so precious to you, right? You value heartbeats so effing much, stop killing living breathing things. Nut up or shut up.

Actually, no, don’t nut up. That’s the reason for unplanned pregnancies in the first place. Just shut up.

…that will never happen. And you want to know why?

Because this is not about life. They don’t give a shit about “life”. This is about power. This is about control.

If you can’t see that an entire gender is being used for political gain then you need to wake the fuck up.

I’ll end this by saying that, yes, there might be some common ground that can be found here. In the people out there fighting every day for their rights. In the allies we have coming out of the woodworks. In the physicians who fought like hell for us in court.

I’m not an unreasonable person. I do believe in sensible laws. These bans are not sensible. They’re a power play. And that’s fucked up. And as much as I’d love to pack up and leave, I don’t have that option. A lot of people don’t (and in fact, I think the “Boycott GA” movement is so fucking stupid, because that doesn’t hurt the people in power. It hurts the PEOPLE).

So if you’re pissed off, remember this at the polls. Know who your reps are. And if they are for this bullshit, vote their asses out.

Flip their fucking seats.

I’m tired, you guys. Let’s get our rights back. Let’s take our state back.

#Abortion #Pro Choice #Heartbeat Bill #HB481 #Brian Kemp #Georgia #Stop the Bans

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richrubies · 6 years

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Yu Son of a Bi– (Christian Yu x Reader)

Warning: Language + this is my first request, and I didn’t know who tf Christian was before I got that cute lil mail from an anon xo

Angst x It’s 4am for me and I’m trying my best

Christian scowled as you smiled for the camera, posing cheekily as the behind-the-scene VJ moved around the room, capturing the happenings of all that goes on when creating a music video.

You were waiting for the crew to finish organizing the set and every so often you moved to help one of the stage directors with lifting props, only to be scolded by your coordi each time; ‘Yah, be careful of your hair! Watch out for your lipstick! This girl drives me crazy,’ she complained halfheartedly as you tried to help the crew as much as possible, not able to sit back and watch them struggle.

You’d never worked with Christian before, and for good reason.

Your man was good at what he did and created aesthetic videos that were hard to surpass – but boy did he have a temper when it came to you.

Especially when it came to you in little clothing and other men.

And yet here you were, featuring in a music video with Jay Park, where the two of you had created and composed a song all about the things Christian hated thinking of you doing when it came to it being about someone who wasn’t him.

Sex, love, and more sex.

Moving out of the way of the stage crew, you joined Christian who had now resigned to sitting in his ‘director’s chair’ which was really a fancy office chair that he usually loved to roll around on.

You asked cheerfully, ‘Are you alright?’

Placing his phone down, he looked up at you with a pout and a crease between his eyebrows that told you he was frustrated, ‘We haven’t even begun, and I’m angry,’ Christian whined.

‘It’s just a music video,’ you remind him, placing your hands on his knees for balance as you crouched in front of him, ‘And you know that nothing will happen. You’re the director! You literally planned each scene with Jay!’

He responded with a ‘hmph’ and let his hands rest on yours.

You were still safely wrapped up in your dressing gown, hiding the outfit below until it was time to shoot – whilst Christian had been a part of the overall theme and planning of the video, he had trusted and allowed the coordi’s to dress you in whatever they deemed right to fit the role you would be playing.

In other words, you were dressed scantily, and Christian was going to explode once filming began.

You just prayed that he would keep his cool until after the scene was done, and the crew wasn’t around to see him lose his mind.

After a few moments, Jay walked into the room and greeted everyone happily before approaching you with a huge grin, his arm wrapping around your shoulder as he and Christian greeted one another.

Jay was shirtless, which was no surprise to anyone, and he wore a pair of black jeans and combat boots to match.

He was playing the bad guy today – the one who had led you astray.

His hair was slicked back and dishevelled, reminding you just how handsome he was.

‘형님,’ Christian bowed, his eyes warily glancing at his arm wrapped around you, ‘Are you ready?’

‘Yeah. This is the pink-room scene right?’ Jay asked, turning back to look at the set where a huge bed awaited you both as well as a series of different props, including the bottle of ‘drugs’ that Jay was meant to feed you during one of the scenes.

Christian nodded, and went into explaining the scene and the vision he had for it, whilst you and Jay nodded in understanding.

Something erotic, but obviously toxic – a lust filled relationship.

You could tell by the way that he’d said it that he was dreading to see this music video through to the end – he was jealous enough when it came to you fan-girling over artists, yet alone actually working with them.

Once Jay had left to get himself acquainted with the set, you pulled Christian to the side and asked quietly, ‘Will you be okay doing this?’

‘I’ll be fine,’ he answered hastily, his arms wrapped around your waist, ‘We’re professionals. It’s just acting right?’

You nodded and smiled up at him, ‘Let’s work hard, huh?’

Smiling, Christian bends and kisses your lips lightly, ‘Mm, let’s work hard baby.’

As you pulled apart, you could hear your coordi from across the room, ‘YAH! CAREFUL!’

~*~

Working hard was easier said than done.

As soon as the music started up and you’d dropped the robe, the first thing you heard was Christian curse from behind his screen and yell cut, causing the entire crew to look around in confusion seeing as they hadn’t even begun rolling, whilst Jay lay back on the bed trying to hold back his laughter, knowing from the many warnings you’d given him, that this might happen.

Christian stormed towards you with the look of hell on his face and you almost took a step back before deciding against it.

‘Yah, what the hell is this?’ he asked angrily, pointing at the white lace bodice one-piece you wore, along with a pair of white strapped heels, ‘Who the hell is your coordi?’

‘Christian,’ you murmur, ignoring the crew who tried to busy themselves from the awkwardness of his sudden tantrum, ‘We need to shoot these scenes so that everyone can go home…’

‘I don’t care about that,’ Christian argues in a low tone, ‘Why the hell are you wearing something so revealing?’

You scratched the back of your neck and looked over at Ji-hyo언니, who had spent a long time discussing with you what you were wanting to capture within each scene, and how you would do so, instantly feeling bad for her.

‘Christian. It’s not like this is your first time doing a scene with outfits like this,’ you tell him, a sense of urgency in your voice – the more time you wasted, the more time the crew would spend on site, rather than at their own homes.

‘That’s with people who aren’t my girlfriend! It’s different!’

‘Yah. We’re professionals first,’ you remind him, ‘let’s just do these scenes and wrap up the shooting quickly, then we can argue all we want, huh?’

Christian groaned but turned around, bowing apologetically at his team whilst you did the same before taking place on the bed and waiting for the cameras to start rolling.

~*~

You didn’t even have to express how annoyed you were by time shooting came to an end.

Christian had complained non-stop at every chance he could get.

Your make-up was too heavy, your outfits showed too much skin, you were dancing too sexily.

‘Baby,’ Christian began as he leaned against the wall of the dressing room, watching you remove the last lot of make-up for the day. You held your hand up to stop him from speaking, not daring to open your mouth.

Why?

Because you knew that the only thing that would come out was a string of curse words.

This man, you thought, would be the death of you.

‘At least let me apolog–,’

‘Nine hours, Christian,’ you told him quietly, turning to look at him from your seat, ‘We spent nine hours trying to get the scenes done, all because you couldn’t control your anger!’ you tell him angrily.

‘I know and I’m sor–,’ Christian started, only for you to cut him off by throwing a ball of scrunched up tissues at him.

‘Your poor staff! They’re exhausted as it is! They probably hate you after today! It would have been different if there were real issues on set, like the equipment not working, but no! You spent half of the time stopping and starting the scenes when it got too much for you to handle!’

‘Jay fed you a fucking vitamin with his tongue!’ Christian argues in defence, ‘And you licked it off like it was a lollipop!’

‘You literally wrote that in the screen play!’ you yell at him, incredulous, ‘We followed your vision of the music video!’

‘And his lips touched yours!’ Christian continued, his hands flying into the air, showing his frustration.

‘You told us to act natural! Like two lovers in a sex-based relationship!’ you argue back, pulling your hair into a messy bun and straightening out the comfortable hoodie you wore.

‘Yeah, well you didn’t have to look like you enjoyed it so much!’

You glared at him, ‘How am I supposed to enjoy anything when you’re in the background cursing up a storm! Ji-hyo 언니 is a devout Christian! You practically turned her into a sinner with that mouth of yours!’

‘I’ll show you what other sins this mouth can commit!’ Christian counters, his eyes ablaze.

‘Not for the next week you won’t!’ you inform him, pushing past him to get to the exit.

Storming down the corridor, you found yourself surrounded by many of the staff who were still in the studio set, cleaning up the props and getting the room ready to be used for the next day.

You apologized again, bowing low, knowing that they had most likely just heard you arguing with Christian, as well as for the long day you’d just put them through.

Members of the crew chuckled and assured you that it was okay but it didn’t push your guilt away. You could feel Christian’s eyes on you as you moved to help clean up, picking up different props and following the lead of the others, ignoring him as you went.

After another hour, the set was finally packed down, and the remaining set crew could leave.

As they left, you promised to buy them all dinner and apologized for what seemed like the millionth time.

The hour had given you time to calm down, and you hoped it stayed that way.

You really didn’t have the energy to fight with Christian any more.

Christian had moved to his personal studio where he completed a majority of his editing, and was where you found yourself standing, watching him as he looked through the series of scenes, with yours and Jay’s song on in the background.

The studio was like your second home – you’d spent plenty of nights curled up on the couch whilst Christian worked tirelessly.

This place had good memories for you.

You could tell from the way his shoulders were relaxed that he too, had calmed down, but you thought it was best to leave him for a while longer.

Even when you were fighting, you still had the need to be close to him, and knowing Christian, he probably felt the same.

Laying on the familiar couch that sat against the back wall that faced Christian’s back, you allowed the clicking of the computer mouse lull you to sleep.

It wasn’t until late into the night that Christian woke you up as he lay down on the couch with you, his arms wrapping around you and his leg folding over yours.

You sighed heavily, blinking away some of the tiredness as Christian cleared his throat.

‘I made it hard for you today, didn’t I?’ Christian stated rather than questioned.

‘I’m never working with you again,’ you tell him honestly, ‘You’re an amazing director and you have an incredible talent in doing what you do, but I am never doing this again.’

‘I’ll apologize to Jay tomorrow,’ Christian responds with a sigh, ‘And I’ll pay for the crew to go out for dinner.’

‘Let’s go halves. They had such a hard day today,’ you tell him with a frown, ‘They deserve trays and trays of meat.’

Christian hummed in agreement, kissing your forehead as you two settled in, with him continuing to apologize for his behaviour.

It wasn’t until you were nearly asleep that Christian squirmed, ‘You’re going to kill me for saying this after the day we’ve just had,’ Christian told you warily, ‘but the scenes came out amazing and exactly as what I envisioned.’

It happened in an instant.

One minute he was cuddling you like a koala, and the next he was on the floor after receiving a power kick from you.

‘You son of a bi–,’ you started, glaring down at him on the floor as he chuckled guiltily.

‘Sorry, baby.’

‘Shut up,’ you grumble, turning away from him, ‘You can sleep on the floor.’

Masterlist

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despabibo · 5 years

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LEMME RANT TO YALL FOR A HOT MINUTE

Personally, I love it when people completely miss the point of things.

Say, for example, you're watching a movie. It's a good movie- great reception, loved by audiences everywhere. But then it includes some details that aren't quite charming. Death, murder, abuse, etc. However, the film uses those not-so-beautiful devices to paint a bigger picture, so you love it all the more.

Then someone decides that it goes against their personal moral compass. "Death? Murder?? Abuse?! In my God-fearing household?? Lord, no, this is a house of JESUS! Anyone who likes that stuff is surely sinful and disturbed and in need of Saving."

Hold the phone. What? Excuse me? Did you completely miss the point? Of course you did. Why else would I be writing out this rant at 8 PM on a Sunday afternoon on Tumblr?

I want to school you on storytelling for a moment here;

Every good story has conflict. No one cares to listen to a story without it because conflict reflects real life. Without conflict, we eat, we breathe, we sleep, we pass away. End of story. Riveting, is it not? Without conflict, things lose meaning. You want a love story without conflict? Well that story is about to taste like a rice cake rolled in uncooked flour and slow roasted over a petroleum flame. You want a heartwarming family movie without conflict? That's about to be more unremarkable than a Wednesday spent in bed with the flu and no WiFi.

Now, some of you might say, "Well then doesn't that say something about humanity? That we can't enjoy things without darkness attached to it? This is why we need more Bible-based stuff in the media. Enough of this violence."

Stop. Tap the breaks. Now put it in reverse, Bruce Almighty.

Have you ever seen a Bible-based film? Or better yet, have you read the text it was based off of? I'm currently assuming you haven't because the point was about 10 miles back West and you overshot it big time.

Violence?! Is that really the issue here? Because I bet you that more people died in the Bible from war and revenge-murder than who died in the latest post-apocalyptic movie installment. And what about the rape in Deuteronomy? Also the mentions of pillaging against the Jews? Surely these are all horrible, disgusting acts. So, let me ask you, are we going to ban the good book, too?

No. But I can bet reading that last paragraph made you severely uncomfortable.

Christianity wasn't meant to be this cookie-cutter. Dress in white for church and a brighter white for your wedding. Pick up eggs on Easter and blow out your bank account come Christmas. No bad ever happens in the name of Christ and nothing of the sort ever has.

Yeah, okay. (note the sarcasm) Ever heard of the crusades?

What my point is, is that you don't get to judge other people. A movie they like has violence in it? Cool! Because that is only one aspect of the story, I can assure you. What is the background of the violence? Who is rising up against it? How does this drive the plot forward? Etc. etc. etc...

No good story lacks in conflict. The Bible included. Else we wouldn't have the stories of Noah or Moses or even the main man Jesus. Without darkness, there is no need for light. It's a balance in the narrative.

And yes, the darkness may make you uncomfortable. Why? Because it's supposed to! "Here, look at how disgusting and wrong humans can be. No, don't look away. Don't turn off the screen, LOOK! Look, so that you don't act like that. Here's a better option that our heroes are following."

Divergent isn't just a story about people becoming homeless, shooting guns and getting tattoos. Does it happen? Yup. Main point of the film. But the systematic abuse showed in the story brings on a revolution because the characters realize the wrong in their world. The moral of the story cannot be realized without showing the cause for it.

The Hunger Games isn't just a story about kids brutally murdering each other. Is it a plot point? Yes, of course! It's the main conflict of the series, for crying out loud! It drives the Districts to rebel against an abusive capital- to fight for their freedom to live. Abuses are used in a story in order to paint a moral picture.

Jesus fought for us. He was the ultimate rebel. His death is one of the most violent, bloody, gruesome and disgusting things in canon literature. Why? Because that's how it happened. You want to ban the next "Story of Jesus" movie? Yeah, didn't think so.

So, next time you want to try and judge someone because of the books they read or the movies they watch, I want you to look at the cross that hangs on your wall. Pretty, isn't it? Probably welded iron with jewels incased in it. Maybe sanded down oak wood with frilly designs etched in. I don't know what type of cross hangs on your wall and frankly, I don't care. Because that trinket in no way resembles the cross that Jesus hung on- splintered, jagged, covered in blood and rough crooked nails. And let me tell you, He didn't slowly bleed to death on that monstrosity so that you can tell people they're going to hell over synthetic blood on the silver screen.

You want something without violence because "violence isn't Christian"? I think you may be misunderstanding the religion.

"There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you-- who are you to judge your neighbor?" ~James 4:12

#despabibo #movies #analysis #critical thinking #SOME PEOPLE DONT USE THESE THINGS #religion #christianity #dont get on your high horse #because I’ll pull you down so fast your ears will pop

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averymessyxmas · 5 years

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Chapter 12: Christmas Eve Eve Dinner Explosion! 2 days till Christmas!

(No Pov’s)

It was the day before Christmas Eve. Sharice had hired a photographer to take family pictures. She was nervous about the dinner. It was going to be a big dinner, Sharice just felt that shit might pop off but she pushed it away. “Okay yall let’s get these pics out the way” She said. Danielle had come earlier that morning with the kids and everyone got in their matching Pajamas. Each family took a separate photo. Janessa and Dylan with Chase. Michael and Vada did Christmas Engagement pictures. Andre and Norielle took the time to do a Maternity Shoot together. Narkim had Denisha and him wear the same outfit and took pictures. Although Nylah and Damien were rocky with their friendship, they took playful pictures in the snow. Sharice took some with Stephan. MJ and Danielle and Leiana and Christian. Christian Leiana took pics with Chase as well. Then the whole family took pictures in their pajamas. Sharic hired a video camera staff as well to shoot every moment with the family. It was going on Dinner time when Malcom Sr. And Kristen had showed up. Malcom Sr. had drunk half a bottle of Jack before coming into his old house. Sharice had the whole family take Pics with him and her. Norielle went back to hiding her pregnancy, fearing her dad would cause a Scene. “Daddy this is Andre my boyfriend” Norielle said to Malcom Sr. He looked Andre up and down and shook his hand firmly. “Nice to meet you young man, we will talk more at dinner”. Norielle sighed and Andre rubbed her back. Sharice had purposely placed everyone in a certain seat based on family and to avoid arguments. She put Janessa and Dylan near Andre and Norielle, to avoid Malcom Sr. Everyone sat down and Sharice and Malcom Sr. stood up to say their speech as Luther Vandross “Have yourself a little Christmas” played in the background. “Im so happy we are all together with new faces, and some families of your own” Sharice said smiling. Everyone lifted their glass. “Let’s have an amazing night and share new memories”. She said. Malcom Sr. began to speak. “I would like to say thank yall for coming and would like to Thank some of you for never disappointing me” He said. Everyone sighed and some groaned and roll their eyes. Malcom Sr came to start shit. The food was placed on the table and everyone talked amongst themselves. Malcom Sr had Kristen fix his plate as he looked around the table to see who he should call out first. “Well Daddy, Michael and I are getting married” Vada said happily. Malcom Sr. smiled at Michael. “I’m very happy to hear that but he didn’t get my approval and yall can’t get married till he does” Vada smile faded, and she rolled her eyes. “Well maybe if you were here instead of with this little girlfriend of yours he could have asked” Vada snapped having a little liquor courage. Michael covered his face. “Baby, please” He said to Vada. Malcom Sr. looked at Vada, giving her a look, he would give his children back in their younger days. “Narkim, Your school called me the other day asking me, If you were planning to enroll back soon, they miss you and think you have a bright future”. Malcom Sr. said looking at Sharice. Sharice looked at Narkim. “Why would the school call your father about going back to school aren’t you in school?” She asked him. Denisha grabbed Narkims hand under the table. “Umm school just isn’t for me” He stated. Sharice chuckled, downing her wine. “It’s this girl that has your head fucked up, I knew it” She said looking at Denisha. “You are a no-good hoe ass girl, trying to get my soon to give up on his life like you did” She snapped. “Mama chill, it wasn’t Nisha” Narkim said. Malcom Sr. put his finger up at Narkim. “Don’t back talk your mama she is right, she got you fucked up, how are you going to make a living?” He said to him. Narkim pulled a band out and out it on the table. “I make more money than anybody in this house, I don’t need school!” He yelled. MJ shook his head. Sharice looked at Denisha. “You got my son selling drugs?” She yelled at her. Denisha stood up. “I been trying to get your son back into school and off the streets, he been doing this before he met me!” She snapped. Denisha realized that she snitched on Narkim. “Shit” She said with her face in her hands. Dre started to think. “You were the one who put that brick in my car wasn’t?” Andre asked. Norielle sighed. “You set me up Narkim?” He asked. Narkim shook his head. “It was an accident. “An accident, you made me take the fall for shit I aint do then make me miss half of my girl’s pregnancy?” He asked. “I was bout to go down for 5 years! 5 years without seeing my son!” Sharice looked at Norielle. “Jail?” She said looking them. Malcom Sr. looked at Norielle. “Son?” Malcom Sr. said looking at Norielle who was trying to calm down Dre’. Her bump was starting to show through her sweater. “You got my daughter pregnant?” He said. “Daddy, Mama it’s not what it seems” She said to her parents. Sharice shook her head. “You said his family was rich and did Ministry work?” She said. Norielle nodded. “They do, he went to jail for something he didn’t do!” She stressed. Andre looked at Norielle. “You knew?” He asked. Nori shook her head. “I just found out a couple of days I go I promise” He sucked his teeth in “You foul as fuck, I can’t believe you or you scum ass brother, I don’t want shit to do with you! Is the baby even mine? You being keeping a lot of shit from me!” He snapped. Narkim balled up his fist. “You can talk shit to me and hate me but you not bout to dog my sister out” He snapped. Damien stood up. “For real” He said. Andre shook his head and grabbed his jacket and left. Norielle started crying and got up. “Im not done with your ass Norielle” Malcom Sr. snapped. Norielle ran upstairs. Sharice looked at Narkim. “Get the hell out of my house!” She yelled. “Man fuck yall” He snapped. Sharice gasped, Malcom Sr. got up. Narkim grabbed Nisha and walked out. Everyone was silent looking around and taking in everything. Malcom Sr. looked around at everyone and looked at Janessa. “All my kids are a disappointment” He said. Vada looked at him. “Excuse me?” She said. “Nobody in this house is disappointing, Janessa married a white man soo what? He loves her and thats all that matters, Get over it, you cheated on my mother mutiple times, Norielle is pregnant but shit happens, Narkim will learn shit the hard way and being a stripper is not so bad mom” Vada stressed. Kristen shook her head. “Yall need to have more respect for your father” She said. Nylah sighed “Shut up Ms. Madison” She said. “You need to check your little friend” Kristen said to Damien. “She good” Damien said. Malcom Sr. looked at Damien. “Don’t disrespect her like that” He said. Damien started laughing. “I been fucking her the whole time, I think she been disrespecting you” Damien snapped. The emotions “What do the lonely’s do at Christmas” was playing. Malcom Sr. stood up. “What did you say to me boy?” He said. Damien stood up. “Ms. Madison has been coming on to me, making me do things I don’t want to do, she been sending me nudes” He stated. Kristen shook her head. “That’s not true” She said. Nylah nooded and pulled out her phone with the pictures and the text. “It is true” Sharice gasped looking at the messages and pictures. “He raped me!” Kristen yelled out. Damien laughed. “Nah you been raping me, having me bend you over and give it to you the long way, making me come over against my will fucking me on your couch, I feel ashamed and like my man hood was stolen!” Damien yelled pretending to be traumatized. Sharice was trying to get up to fight but Stephan held her back. Malcom Sr. looked at Kristen and them Damien. “You been fucking my baby boy?” He said. She shook her head. “No he’s lying we had consensual sex” She stated. “Man shut up, you been riding me this whole time you was with my dad!” Damien yelled. “You told me you can’t live without my D and everything” He stressed. Malcom Sr. turned around to try to strangle Damien. MJ fought his dad off. Vada punched the shit out of Kristen. “We will be pressing charges you pedophile” She said. Kristen tried to leave but Nylah grabbed her mase. “I will blind you if you move bitch”. “Get him out of my house! And get the police here” Sharice yelled. Kristen started crying. “Im sorry” She said. Malcom Sr. was still holding on to Damien. Grandma Rudy was trying to calm everyone down when she fell out on the floor. “Get off him Dad!” MJ stressed, Michael ran to Grandma Rudy. Dylan helped MJ. Malcom Sr. looked at Dylan and punched him in the face. Janessa ran over to him. “Dad you need to leave now!” She said. Malcom Sr. looked around and started to calm down. “Get out!” Vada yelled at him. He walked out. Sharice and Michael tried to wake Grandma Rudy.

25mins later. An ambulance and the police showed up taking Kristen into custody and taking Grandma Rudy to the hospital the EMT team had said she had a heart attack. Everyone including Norielle went to the hospital.

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bidrums · 6 years

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Something about episode 4 that bothered me that I really need to get off my chest

So @strangesurvivals has really good posts about this that honestly made me realize that was exactly what bothered me and they are very put-together posts, so if you want something that’s not as rambling as mine, go check it out. Check it out regardless of what I put on here, because it’s a great blog and they deserve love and attention.

Here’s what rubbed me the wrong way: the stupid Warlock school subplot and the concept of the Alpha.

In a post I made with my general thoughts on the episode, I mentioned that I thought it was interesting about the concept of Supreme vs Alpha but followed it with saying I wasn’t about to start discourse.

Well, I retract that statement and am going to start discourse.

I’ll probably be crucified for saying that Coven wasn’t my favorite season, but it wasn’t. I love the concept and absolutely adore the characters and agree that the season kicked some serious ass, but I couldn’t really jam with the plot. I don’t know why, since I’ve watched and read very similar things, but I just couldn’t really get into it. Sorry. Even though it wasn’t my favorite season, I definitely screamed when they appeared and loved all the scenes they were in. Because they're characters that I love and actresses that I love, and I knew that would up the stakes more than they were already upped.

And then the plot happened.

I make fun of the fact that it started out like Harry Potter with Michael being recruited, but then Ryan took the Chosen One concept a bit too far and decided to call it the Alpha. And I just, no. Just no. No, don’t do that. Don’t do that to Michael. He’s already the Antichrist. That’s more than enough of a role to fill, and he doesn't need some Harry Potter/Star Wars magic Chosen One that’s destined to defeat the Ultimate Evil (TM) on top of being the Antichrist. It’s unnecessary and it took away from that subplot for me. It felt lazy, it felt forced, it felt contradictory, it just lessened the impact of the Antichrist plot and Michael’s harnessing of his powers. At least, the way Ryan did it. I’ll get back to that.

So Michael Potter Skywalker is taken to a magic school to develop his Amazing Magic Powers because something happens that tells The Powers That Be that he’s Super Powerful- more than any of them. Only one of those Authorities is suspicious and hesitant to take this person is because he can smell Big Trouble because This Kid Ain’t Right. But everyone laughs off Cheyanne Yoda Jackson because holy fuck he pulled some Exorcist shit then curled up in a ball crying on the floor he must be The One With The Ultimate Power (TM) we must take this emotionally unstable child in and harness his magic because absolutely nothing will go wrong with taking him in and teaching him to control his crazy strong magic that manifests himself in murder. Cheyanne Yoda Jackson is just being paranoid, he only impaled a guy with multiple knives and blew a guys head up. He may have Much Anger In Him and acts in a way that looks like he’s Demon Possessed, but have you seen his Midichlorian count? We have to bring him in because he might be able to destroy the Sith and bring Balance to the Force and finally dismantle the ever-present fear of Voldemort’s Reign of Terror! Stop being a spoilsport and train him like the rest of us, it’ll be fine! Oh, and we won’t help him adjust to his power gradually in order to make up for the years of training he lost in order to give him the same foundation everyone else has and the skills and trust of the System to not be reigned by his unstable emotions and Much Anger In Him. Nah, throw him in the deep end headfirst, he’ll be fine. In fact, we’ll raise our expectations and push him harder than everyone else and tell him his Destiny from the beginning so he has all this pressure on him. There’s no way he’ll lash out and have a sense of entitlement.

Now, who are The-Sith-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named that oppress the poor, defenseless Warlocks? The rest of humanity? That was in Coven, and it would be interesting to have a Magneto-type background that ties into his disgust at humanity and proves his “evil motherfuckers” point. Is it the Humans? It’s not? Who is it?

The Witches, of course! Those Nasty, Horrible Women who use their Superior Woman Magic to press the poor defenseless Warlocks who just want to Be Equals and not be molotov cocktailed after those Stupid Women didn’t have the foresight to the potential consequences of trying to foster good relations with the Muggle World and being open about their Mutant status because they’re Mutants, and they’re Proud! We need an Alpha Male to save us from the Uterus! A Level Four! The Manliest Man in all of Manhood who will put those women in their place and take them down from their High and Mighty Egos. In Coven they had thinly-veiled metaphors for racism by having European vs Voodoo magic fights that tried to make us see that the Poor White Girls are just Misunderstood and Blissfully Ignorant that the Voodoo Community is just as Powerful and Valid as the rest of them! And they still have that in Apocalypse, but now they also have Gender Inequality in it, too! But like, not showing the tired, traditional Oppressed Women narrative that a lot of feminists tell. No, it’s the Refreshing alternate view that maybe, there are areas of life where Men are not on top? And that’s bad for them? It’s daring and bold and no one has ever proposed this idea ever! I’m so creative and revolutionary!!!

The Supreme title was interesting to me because there’s always the Head Witch or something like that. But Ryan gave her the title of Supreme, because the one to master all fundamental areas of magic has Supreme Magic that is more powerful. Which makes sense and is pretty refreshing to me, because it felt like an acknowledgement while over-glorifying the title. Because Supreme also sounds like a threat and a title everyone would fight over, so whoever has that title has to constantly watch her back because other people will try to take that for themselves. The title was forged in blood, and it’s a constant reminder of that. And the show does a great job showing how hard and how dangerous that title is. It shows work, it shows strength, it shows earning the title.

That is the complete opposite of the Alpha role. Level Four. Honestly I hate the fact that they rank the students with 4 levels because it’s honestly unhealthy competition in my opinion. But we’re focusing on the Alpha. It’s a stupid concept, it’s a stupid plot device, it’s a stupid mentality, it’s a stupid rank, it’s a stupid title. “But you’re a Christian, isn’t that hypocritical of you because you’re okay with calling God the Alpha?” Actually, that’s not His full title. The full title is the Alpha and the Omega- which is FUCKING GREEK FOR THE BEGINNING AND THE END AND IS A PRETTY ACCURATE TITLE FOR THE FUCKING CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE AND DON’T BRING MY RELIGION INTO THIS I AM NOT GOING TO SAY THAT AGAIN

Anyways, the Alpha thing and why it’s hella problematic. Its real-life counterpart is a hideous mentality that really messed-up men have that leads to entitlement issues that lead to violence- usually against women whose bodies they feel they are owed and believe that their superior “Alpha Male” status demands. Just, it doesn’t matter if that’s what he was imagining- which I doubt given the context- or not, the fictional Alpha Male trope and the real-word damage the Alpha Male mentality causes make this fictional title undesirable and uncomfortable. It also doesn’t imply the hard work that the Supreme title does. Like I referenced in my sarcastic rant, it’s why people hated the Midichlorian thing in Star Wars. I actually asked my dad if they were mad because it wasn’t referenced in the original trilogy. He said, and I paraphrase, “Partly. It’s the implications of them not mentioning it in the original trilogy that we have a problem with. When it first came out, the Force was something that everyone had and that some people were more in tune with than others. But it was in everyone, so everyone with the right training could become a Jedi. You might not be as powerful as the other Jedi, but you can be a Jedi or at the very worst, someone with cool Force abilities that can use the Force. Just not at the level of the Jedi. That was awesome because me and everyone else was saying, “I could be a Jedi! I could learn how to master the Force! Then Episode 1 came out and it said, nah, you can’t. It’s twitch muscles. You have it, or you don’t. Your DNA determines wether or not you can actually use the Force. Everyone has the Force, but you can’t be trained to tap into that power. It was like a slap in the face to the people who spent decades with the fantasy of training to be a Jedi. Since you haven’t had the time gap between movies, it’s less of an issue. But to us, it hurts a lot.” And that’s exactly what the Alpha does. It’s not that Michael is powerful and gradually shows the potential to be the Alpha then proves himself to be able to survive the grueling process to earn that status. It’s just that they see that he’s powerful (which I have no idea how impressive that footage is since we don’t have a great example of how weak everyone else’s magic is in comparison, imo) and assume that because he’s super powerful he’s The One. It just wasn’t as compelling to me as finding out about the Supreme. And yes, the witches do inherently have more magic and yes, the Supreme inherently has more magic, but it’s still like the Jedi. Not everyone is Force-Sensitive, so not everyone can be a Jedi; by extension, not all the Jedi can have the highest rank and there are many nuances and strengths of the people’s Force abilities. That’s something that I thought was interesting in Coven and was a bit disappointed that they didn’t play around with it more, but that’s not what this is about. I’m just showing how the Warlocks could have a similar Nuance even with their ranking system and could’ve had more of a parallel with the Witches.

But they didn’t.

Instead Ryan decided to have some weird social commentary about how women could be as bad as men and whenever they have some area where they’re better than men, they abuse that area and twist the narrative to make themselves the victims; in these areas, the men are now the ones who have to fight tooth and claw to get equal treatment. This is the standard “Women can be just as bad as men given the opportunity!” narrative that hurts legitimate activism to get men the same treatment in areas such as domestic abuse, where the statistics of male victims and the numbers of how they receive justice for it are much different than for women. There was a social study where two actors pretended to be a couple having an argument in public that gets violent, with one partner starting to get more and more physical and the other partner getting more and more in danger of being seriously hurt. When the woman was the victim, people rushed to her aid and got in between them and called him out on his behavior. When the man was the victim, a significantly less number of people did that, and most people laughed it off as the male being “whipped”- or, not filling the male role in the relationship. The power balance is suddenly funny when the woman has more power over the women. Now, I’m not going to go into that discourse, and you have my word on that. Domestic abuse is a horrific epidemic that both men and women face, and statistically women are the victims much more than men. But that doesn’t mean that when men are abused, it’s not that bad as when women are. And so when activist groups push for more awareness of this epidemic and trying to change the narrative of what domestic abuse looks like, we should listen and treat it seriously. But when narratives like the Witch oppression of the Warlocks being used to bring attention to “reverse sexism”- which is bullshit, btw- it lessons actual legit activism and make both activism for male issues and activism for female issues seem less important. Less serious. They become more of a joke and people overreacting than things of actual importance. And it’s just bad writing. There are way better ways to have a Warlock vs Witch narrative that Michael is involved in. Way better ways. Way better ways than “oppressed men might have someone who can overthrow the oppressive women because he’s more powerful and men might be able to reclaim their position of power”.

Honestly, I was mostly annoyed by this is that not only was Ryan- consciously or no- even doing it, but he was doing it where the men were just being whiny and had no real argument. They gloated at Cordelia and tried to provoke her by dangling Michael as “The One (TM) who would overthrow the Witches’ power over them” in front of her to try to get her angry. They act like her refusing to put him through the Seven Wonders is proof that she’s scared of being overthrown. Because cowards act like that. And that when she uses Misty and Queenie as examples of how she isn’t all powerful like they believe and to give examples of how dangerous the world of magic is and how just recklessly going forward can land them in trouble, they just scoff like she’s not really worthy of being the All Powerful and can you believe this chick? She walks around like she owns the place but she can’t even save one of her own kind from being perpetually held in Limbo for eternity with possibly thousands of other souls being held captive and suffering unimaginable things. Some Supreme. She can’t possibly think that’s a good reason to not do the test of the Seven Wonders.

Just- it’s really bad. It’s not a good way to even make this lazy writing a passable attempt. Cordelia telling them about how she tried to save Queenie once she found out she was dead in order- this is what I interpreted from that sequence- to help her pass on or come back to life was a great way to show her character. She’s empathetic, she’s protective, she actually cares about the people she’s supposed to be the authority over. And her regret over not being able to save Queenie hurts because she was supposed to watch over her and be able to protect her from something like that, but she couldn’t. And she is heartbroken because people she loves and cares about are casualties of a dangerous world and she’s helpless to stop those casualties. And when she refuses to let Michael do the Seven Wonders, it’s because she doesn’t want an innocent party that is being put on a pedestal to get killed. She fucking says that she doesn’t want to risk him dying and the fuckwads act like that’s a pathetic excuse!!!!! That was so infuriating for me because it was treated like Cordelia was being unreasonable by the characters and Ryan. I mean, in Coven the Seven Wonders was constantly hammered in as dangerous at every level, and as the stakes are raised, the more it’s hammered in, and the more people get hurt. There are actual consequences, and Cordelia witnessed it from the beginning to the end. So she knows that there’s an 87% chance that Michael will die, and she doesn’t want someone else to die in the process that killed her friends. And she gets more and more angry about people talking over her and ignoring all of her very solid arguments against this until she has no choice other than to give into their provocations and get angry, having to firmly shutting it down and ending it before someone gets hurt and when she gets questioned again, she snaps one of the greatest lines in the season and the show: “BECAUSE I’M THE FUCKING SUPREME!” And the men just look at each other like, “I fucking knew this bitch was too scared of being usurped to agree to our very reasonable proposal to take a vulnerable youngster who’s only just started to control his powerful and unstable magic and force him to go through a dangerous test he has a high chance of dying from just to soothe our wounded egos that we’re grooming several impressionable young men to emulate, women are so unreasonable” and I wanted to punch everyone in the face.

So the thing I mentioned waaaaay earlier in this super-long post: the way Ryan was doing this lessened Michael’s character was done really badly. Here’s an idea on how to go through a less-sexist conflict between the two covens that actually makes him more powerful:

Michael is powerful- more powerful than they’ve seen. Cheyanne Yoda Jackson still gets to be suspicious, and they are inclined to agree. After some debate, everyone except Warlock Yoda agrees that it’s probably powerful, unstable magic that is being handled by a teen with anger issues and an obvious propensity for violence. They can teach him to handle the magic and maybe to control his emotions. Everything’s the same until they do their tests. It’s still after a month or two, but this time it’s after he’s had time to adjust and had some basic rudimentary training that everyone has when they first start. They explain that everyone is evaluated at the beginning to get a feel for their magic, and Michael already seems to have some control of his powers. Not much, but it’s impressive considering how insane they are. They start with the mirror. He does it, and they share shocked glances. That’s something that a lot of people have trouble with after years of training. So they hesitantly do the teleporting. Flawless passing, more shock. Then they ask him to waterbed snow, and they have their happy moment before they almost freeze to death. They see how freaked out Michael is and tell him that he has super strong magic and when you push yourself like he did, it’ll get a bit out of hand. Just be more careful and they’ll talk about where to put him then get back to him, okay? Then they talk about how freaky it is that he can do this with little training, Magic Yoda is suspicious, they shoot him down with a lot of irony because Antichrist. Then one of them suggests that maybe, just maybe, they might be seeing a Male Supreme. Use the phrase, “Male Supreme”. It’s less stupid and worrying. There’s banter about how there hasn’t been a male version, it’s only been a woman, you know how many powerful Warlocks have died trying to do the Seven Wonders, he can barely control snow, you think he can come back from the dead? But then they agree and call the Council.

Most of the Warlocks’ bitterness towards the Witches stems from two places: 1) Fiona was a bitch and took her Supreme status to exert absolute control of the Council and 2) Cordelia just announced the existence of Mutants Witches and Warlocks without consulting the Council, a decision that they feel should have been unanimous. So there’s some banter about the Seven Wonders and Michael and she doesn’t want to hurt him because of how many powerful Witches and Warlocks have died and he sounds like he’s emotionally and magically unstable and he most likely will die. It also makes more sense for them to be snarky at her because of the above two reasons, and they can invoke Fiona’s name which will make those of us who are familiar with Coven squeal at the mention of Fiona and remember that yeah, that sounds in character, as well as having Cordelia react to the implication that she’s being the same sort of Supreme her mother was. Like, that has waaaaayyyyy less sexism and provides a great conflict between the two schools. It also has a less cliche Chosen One story arc shoved into Michael’s already-established “I’m the Antichrist” story arc and still shows just how powerful and scary he is.

Again, that’s my idea on how it could’ve been better. I just hate that the potential badassery of rivals schools was ignored to have Ryan Murphy pretend to be revolutionary and critical and thinking outside of the box when he’s really condoning a dangerous and sexist narrative that puts characters that are both potentially awesome and badass and established to be awesome and badass into weak storylines that destroy a lot of great character arcs and characteristics of everyone.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

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hippyspacewitch · 6 years

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This has been building up for a while and this recent “bible” argument really bothers me. I can’t and won’t stay quiet about this. This is pungent with Fox News and the extreme Republican views. How can you not feel for people. It is genuinely upsetting and heart breaking. Those who stand on the side of coldness and disregard for life. You’re beyond despicable. There just aren’t words powerful enough to describe how much. Hypocritical. Sickening. These are words we could rightfully use to set the tone for an administration that strongly advocates putting children into concentration camps, separating families, while at the same time declaring it always necessary to follow through with every pregnancy. How cruel and lacking self awareness can you be? No, this is done in order to keep people down, and maintain control. Willful ignorance evolves into ultimate evil again.

I am not a sadness seeking person. I’m not the misery chick. Coming off a good high, actually. I’m living my life, feeling good. Aren’t I a lucky duck. Sweat is smelly, but it feels so good to get out of my skin for a bit. Looking more fit, take a pic, feeling happy. Whelp, let’s take a little trip to yon’ internet, gonna post another selfie of my cute face, look at those dimples! Wait, I’m not looking at my dimples anymore.

Looking at what’s going on in the world instead, so I continue reading NEWS, which is based on FACTS. I know. REALLY crazy to hear. Hopefully that catches on one day. Regardless, I am incredibly saddened. Only wish to repost the unpleasant articles I read, hoping it helps create awareness. It doesn’t feel like an appropriate time for sharing pleasantries or my happiness, because I’m truly very upset with the direction this current regime is leading our nation.

We weren’t too far from that standard already, but snowflakes are pushing back hard, trying to double down on ending crucial necessities needed to maintain a semi-capable, albeit heavily flawed, semi-civilized society. So many people have died to protect the right just to exist with dignity, relative to that previously stated fact alone, as it pertains mainly to the elongated fight for basic human rights. People of all races and cultural backgrounds have died for that much. I’m wholeheartedly dissatisfied and sickened by the actions of not just the notorious current administration, but the White House too, along with those who see the overall standard of humanity that so many people hold, as anything short of unacceptable. If you accept this, you should feel ashamed. I can’t say that enough, if you don’t hear your momma’s voice. If you continue to follow me, I’ll make sure you hear my voice enough.

I’ll make you feel something, whether you just stop reading because you can’t handle the truth, or if you’re feeling froggy, ready to speak against me, (I’ll weed y’all out.) or hey, you evolve at least far enough to want to see the world be better someday. (Work toward the latter.)

Therefore I am strongly urging and pleading with COGNITIVELY DISSONANT WHITE PEOPLE out there. It is long past time you MAKE A CHANGE, concerning the way you think about racism and race. SPECIFICALLY ADDRESSING people of PRIVILEGE here, anyone born into the Christian faith, not specific enough, here - WHITE PEOPLE! Yes, I am one, and I even fit all that above criteria. Well look at that. I can speak for myself and therefore others like me. Coming from a place where I was misdiagnosed AMAB (that’s assigned male at birth) I can absolutely say it is EASY for me to recognize the first 27 years of my life I was living with the highest standard of privilege in the United States. I still live with privilege as a white person, even as a transgender woman.

Anyone who knows me well enough, might say, “Well, Eris you’ve described what it’s like to live in an impoverished area, with high levels of crime, gang violence, and from what you tell me, you had reason to be afraid. That doesn’t sound like privilege” To which I would respond to myself as someone else, for the purposes of making a point in this hypothetical scenario that fits my point in the end, “Self that isn’t myself, because I’m not an idiot. We see comment sections for days, with white people fired up, wanting so bad to let the world know from their brand new iPhone, they experienced some semblance of living within poverty. White people essentially bragging about having a cup of coffee in the ghetto. It’s either that, or meth head white people living in a meth head white people neighborhood. Fox News’ most loyal demographic. White people who take unemployment, have tons of babies, vote Republican, damn liberals out there who are fighting to keep them off the street, with extremely limited resources given. Some viewers don’t know the definition of ironic, but isn’t it ironic? Ignorance isn’t at all self aware, until you spell it out for them slowly, and then there’s a chance they briefly acknowledge it before turning away, and forgetting it happened entirely. That said we must strive to look further than our individual experience for lessons.”

I heard that hot garbage living in Washington. Surrounded by meth heads. Working at the gas station, you here people talk. False arguments straight from hypocritical, entitled white people who are just looking to close the gap and get even more. So many of them are far too shameless, they’ll just admit it themselves. Who else are they going to tell? I can’t make this up. People who think like this are naturally afraid, as you should be. Fear clouds our minds far too often, but white people like this are next level.

Pissed off they have to share, like an overgrown petulant brat, ready to lick whatever unseen, promised hints of scum off a criminal inheritors shitty ass boot, as long as they feel like that boot isn’t treading on them. I’m not at all going to even get into my experience living in a bad neighborhood, here. I won’t even get into how long either. I can tell you, it was bad enough for me to want to know why. Now, I know why, and it’s more important to know. Privilege white politicians redistricting people based on race.

If you’re at all uncomfortable hearing white people, think how other people must be feeling about the whole sociology of race and everyday human relations. Oh I’m sorry, you can’t know, and neither can I. White people contribute to poverty maintaining class and privilege, institutionalizing racism through laws they create with that specific intention. Now they want to shut immigrants out entirely. The rich are a head of the curve in terms of closing the gap. Not out of strictly self preservation, the real goal is to maintain constant control and domination, basically keep people of color down.

This is barely getting close to just scratching the surface about race. A subject, I actually don’t like speaking a whole lot about. I don’t feel like I’m appropriate representation, for one thing. Personally, more of a reader on the subject. I will explain my experience learning about racism. It was fairly early on. I didn’t learn it, because of the area I lived in. The area I lived in was small, bad areas are small or larger depending on the states race issues and redistricting. I learned it before I moved there actually. There’s no way to put this without causing discomfort, so I apologize.

My biological donor called my former step dad the n word constantly. I actually asked him about it. I was very young, so I only remember my stepdad at the time, explaining certain things in a very delicate way, mostly to not harm my innocence. Saying he doesn’t actually feel like he’s a racist, that he’s just mad. It was hard on my mom and step dad to struggle with not wanting to shatter the image of my biological father, versus him basically doing it to himself. Being an empath, I recognized it was difficult, eventually I was calling them out on it. That doesn’t really have much to do with where I’m going, it’s just a bit of background to my mind altering experience as it pertains to learning about race.

Once I was older, around fifth or sixth grade, a few people would target me at school, because I’m white. It wasn’t until we got older, for the last couple years before I moved. I used to just be frustrated that we couldn’t keep seeing past it. I had yet to discover why that thought is selfish, but I was a good hearted kid. I thought it wasn’t fair, remembering how I felt, as it pertains to expecting people to learn English. How many extra languages are you fluent in, again. It isn’t easy for most people to casually pick up another language.

It’s important to realize, I’d been taught discrimination is wrong. I was taught not to blame other people for my problem. Once again, more learned behavior. My whole point is coming into fruition soon. Yes, I was discriminated against for being a white person. There it is, did you catch it? You might only be able to imagine why people of color would discriminate against white people; if you watch bullshit news and drink hot garbage for tea, wake up and smell the coffee!

If you are not lacking in awareness, you don’t have to look very far to see racism for what it is, and know the difference between perceived racism (discrimination) and racism as a contributing factor in our society. A real problem that effects people of color in so many complex ways, I truly can’t comprehend. It’s hard enough being trans and dealing with people hating you, before they know you at all. That’s one instance I can peel back in a big old nasty onion with many layers. Another privilege for white people, along with ignoring it, as far I am concerned it’s absolutely willful ignorance.

Deflate this desperate flotation mechanism and aesthetics. I hope this at least brings people the shame and guilt too many people are tired of feeling and want to just move past. Check yourself white people, you have no idea what it’s like to struggle daily as a disenfranchised person of color. You might have problems, but your privilege confines your experience.

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galaxyholly · 3 years

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Let’s talk about labels.

So, with all the “political” discourse around minority groups lately, I’ve noticed something that’s left a sour taste in my mouth every time I hear it. (Or really a lot of things)

Labels.

Every minority group has them. “Gay” vs. “Straight”, “Black” vs. “White”, “disabled” vs. “abled”.

Usually, labels are used as handy signifiers for a distinguishing trait, such as being homosexual. They’re used to distinguish something from a group, usually as some kind of utility of understanding. And they can be useful! Saying, “I’m gay” rolls of the tongue a lot easier than, “I am an X, and I am sexually attracted to X.”

But lately every time I hear labels like that, I can’t help but wonder if labelling is counter-productive to everything these groups stand for.

Language is powerful, its meanings, usage, and implications can change peoples’ minds like the snap of a forefinger and thumb. Obvious examples are like Cold War propaganda. We still have the majority of Americans assigning everything left of killing the homeless for sport as socialism (That’s a quote from somewhere, lemme know if you guess it.)

Labelling isn’t an exception to this. There was a study done in recent years that illustrated this power in ways not really studied before. It involved telling a group of kids that they were gifted, and telling another that they didn’t achieve the gifted status. Both groups were taught using the same curriculum and methods, and by the end of the study, the “gifted” group had an IQ difference of 10-15 points. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy. Just labelling these students caused sort of a “placebo” effect on their academic performance/ intelligence.

[Citation at the bottom]

What does this have to do with minority groups? Well, I think it contributes to their perceived abnormality in our society. Most of these groups just want to be normalized, or treated just as well as the most well off groups and classes of society. Equality.

But the irony of campaigning for equality under a label, is that the label and the group status inherently separates and de-normalizes the group itself. If gay people are equal to straits, why do we even need a name for it? Can’t just saying, “I like X.” do the job? It’s nearly the same amount of effort to express, and it doesn’t involve boxing yourself into a narrow definition, nor does it separate. Does that make sense? You might have heard of this, but its called Heteronormativity and it sucks. As a wlw myself, I get tired of the label.

Maybe a more clear example would do good. If the color of your skin means nothing about who you are, why then do we call people “black”,”white”,”yellow”?

Before anyone tries to tell me that my idea is heading into culture erasure, give me a moment to explain. I do think culture is important, and I am by no means trying to force anyone to let go of any labels, or adopt others. I just want to open conversation as to what could be more helpful than the labels we have.

For instance, what do I think about when hearing the words black vs. white?

As a physicist, I would think of white as being the combination of all wavelengths of light, and black being no light present at all.

As someone indoctrinated into a protestant Christian belief system (I’ll be healing from that one for a while), white reminds me of all the imagery associated with god and angels, and black as associated with satan and demons (red too).

I mean, anyone can attest, it’s just classic symbolism. So what does it do when we assign groups of people those colors as labels. Well, it brings a lot of those connotations with them. Labelling in this way, using a noun as the label makes the label into something inherent in people. Think of the difference between, “I am a black person” vs. “I am a person comes from a unique culture and background.” In the first example, the person is black. It’s read as an inherent quality of someone. In a movement that’s saying that the color of your skin means nothing of who you are, the label of “black” only signifies a difference, which isn’t true. I don’t think POC or “People of Color” helps much either. It still plays into classic imagery, of white being pure, and other being less pure. It still makes the label out to be something that’s inherently part of the person. Which, yes, my skin color is a part of me, but as it means nothing about the content of my personality, so it seems odd to even mention its existence in reference to myself or my life.

This is my suggestion. Since skin pigment has no bearing on a persons life, why not just never mention it? Obviously this doesn’t do justice to the fact that people are severely oppressed due to their skin color. Fighting for rights or talking about culture that stemmed from oppression are the instances where sometimes a label is needed. So why not develop a better language model. Calling someone a “person affected by systemic oppression” doesn’t roll off the tongue, but the connotations are infinitely better. It conveys nothing inherent about the person, and the only separator is easily demonstrated to come from others, which means its not inherent, and not really a separator.

I think this can be applied to so many other groups. The most egregious example I can think of would be the term “transgender.”

This language, much like racial language is extremely outdated and inaccurate, and as always, created by WASPs (White Anglo Saxon Protestants). The fact that a label exists at all, much like with poc, really irks me.

This is a group of people who are essentially just forced into the incorrect gender/presentation from birth, and many are self and medically-described to have been born in the wrong bodies.

One such sub-group is called “Trans Women.” These people are just women. They were assigned the wrong gender/gender roles/gender presentation at birth due to the archaic ideas of gender in Western society. Science, all accredited medical institutions, and psychology all confirm that “trans women” are just women. It’s the same with the men of the movement.

So, if you haven’t seen the issue yet, let me point it out. If “Trans women are women”, then why on earth do we need so say the “trans” part in the first place? Mathematically speaking, if [trans women = women], then the trans part is equal to zero. It’s a useless term. And yet, it’s everywhere. If you go to the reddit forum r/asktransgender, you literally can’t find a single person referring to a woman as just a woman. There’s this obsessive need to always attach “trans” in front of everything these men and women are associated with.

This isn’t even getting into what “transgender” implies in the first place. Much like POC is to black, transgender is to transsexual. People fighting to get rid of discriminatory and antiquated language with a history of use in disparagement only to replace with another useless label that just has less bad history of use.

“Transgender” is defined as: denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex.

If everything says that these people are who they are, then why does “birth sex” even factor in? The use of this word makes it even worse. These people have to say, “I am transgender.” This is again, making the label inherent to the person’s being. Essentially relegating their whole life to being that person whose internal sense of identity and gender doesn’t align with their “birth sex”.

How about, “I am a woman”, or “I am a man”, or “I am a nonbinary person.

The label carries around so many connotations. If someone is a woman, then why do they need the classifier, “trans” before her description? What does that confer? Their genitalia? No, some get surgery, and some don’t, so how is that helpful. Also, why do people think they have a right to any information on a person’s genitalia? That’s so weird and creepy. I would argue that these women know more about womanhood, and have a more intimate relationship with it than women without the experience of having a gender incongruence.

It also implies that they are going from one gender to another, hence the “trans” part. Which, is just inaccurate, considering that these people just are who they are from birth. Looking like a man doesn’t make you one, and vice versa. Nor does genitalia. Hopefully I don’t have to explain that one to you.

So, why not say something like this instead. “I am a woman and I have a gender incongruence.” Gender incongruence is defined as the mismatch an individual feels as a result of the discrepancy experienced between their gender identity and the gender they were assigned at birth (GIRES, 2018, 2018).

First, this definition has nothing inherent about the person. “Having” a gender incongruence isn’t the same as saying, “I’m gender incongruent.” Once the person has fixed this incongruence through medical, social, or presentational means, they no longer have an incongruence, and are just a man/woman/enby.

Like said, if they’re just men and women, why the trans part? It only separates, and since they’re the same, the separator means nothing.

There are intersex women, infertile women, women who were brought up with tons of brothers, not being allowed to be “girly”, who never had a gender incongruence. So don’t try to say that there’s anything that can separate women who’ve had a gender incongruence to those who haven’t.

I know this was really long, but I hope you got something out of it. Let’s stop labeling everything we see. It’s often inaccurate, and a really poor way of approaching. Let’s use the framework of oppression and culture instead.

If you’re in any of the minorities I talked about and you want to correct me or talk about this post, let me know.

Love, Holly

-xoxo

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/alternative-truths/201005/why-its-dangerous-label-people label theory readup

#labelingisbad nomorelabels equalityforall

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yourghastlycloseness · 4 years

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yeah the department meeting depressed the hell out of me and convinced me that i’m terribly unfulfilled at work, but also, that maybe all that comes from within and i will carry this sadness in me everywhere i go

because everyone else my age seems to be coping alright, even if they’re not doing excellently

they actually have dreams and strive for healthy human relationships

meanwhile, i can’t seem to reciprocate or reach out, nor do i really want to

maybe this just isn’t the job for me

my colleagues are sweet and competent people, though. honestly, bosses don’t get better than this

one of them gave me a book voucher today haha which i spent immediately on endo’s silence

‘of course it’s jap lit,’ said C

yes, of course lol. i’d actually like to research japanese literature more seriously

i’ve got women court writers from the heian period like sei shonagon and murasaki shikibu on my reading list

was watching a ballet dancer break down yuzuru hanyu’s chopin program at pyeongchang. what i didn’t notice before was how hanyu doesn’t quite breathe through his mouth at the end of a performance; he breathes through his nose instead, so he -- and other figure skaters, i assume -- ends every performance with composure and grace and not like the panting monsters most of us are

what makes hanyu so pleasing to watch? the ballet dancer explained that when you put two dancers of equal ability side-by-side, the one with the ‘better face’ will be chosen. ‘better’ could mean more physically attractive. an expressive face with more structure and definition -- something you should be able to see from afar

that reminded of the heavy make-up they used for the actors in drama club

i can’t deny that part of hanyu’s magnetic appeal is how he looks

i should admit, too, that a part of me is so envious that a person can move the way he does. why do i desire to possess everything that is beautiful?

years ago, my therapist asked me a question that still sticks with me: ‘can you look at beautiful person and not think about wanting that beauty?’

simply put, my answer is no

i see a beautiful person and i want to be them

i don’t care if they’re dirt poor or if they have tragic family backgrounds or if they’re dumb as fuck or if they’ve raped and murdered 20 people

i want beauty and i want it all à la sharpay evans

later caught a podcast on suicide by a catholic pastor -- it wasn’t my intention to catch a christian podcast. i was thinking about killing myself again and wanted to hear people talk about suicide without skirting around the subject

i am only 17 minutes in but i am comforted by what the pastor said

he makes two interesting points

i) that we don’t know where a person who commits suicide ends up, but what we do know is that he goes to jesus, and god will make the judgement -- he does away with this idea of immediate and eternal condemnation for the act of suicide

ii) that doctors and clergymen have to work together to help people out of depression and to stop people from committing suicide

but there are points i disagree with

i) the pastor says that suicide can cut short this ‘plan’ that god has for you (it is believed that god has a plan for everyone) -- OK, but what if the plan was for me to precisely end my life at the age of 25, and to make others realize that this isn’t the right thing to do. alternatively, what if i were a homicidal pedophile in the making, where such tendencies would reach its peak in my thirties? coincidentally, i happen to be struggling with depression and ended up taking my own life before i could harm anyone else. what if suicide was the plan after all? it is a possibility to consider.

ii) the pastor argues very firmly that suicide is ‘sin’ for it brings pain to the people around you -- can you honestly say the same about elderly suicides? or about people who have lost all their family? we have to accept that there are people out there who aren’t loved, whose bodies are replaceable (think foxconn, sweatshops)

we don’t have enough information to make a blanket moral judgement that all suicide is sin

i won’t call myself a non-believer; i went through a phase of superficial pantheism haha where i saw god as the universe and the universe as god, but i no longer identify too closely with that, partly because i was working hard to fill a spiritual void back then and pantheism was the closest thing i could find to an antidote

christianity, or any institutionalized religion for that matter, has never made sense to me

simply for this reason: we don’t know if god exists

when we don’t know, we can choose to:

i) maintain that we don’t know (ie. god may or may not exist)

ii) assume the positive (ie. god exists)

iii) assume the negative (ie. god doesn’t exist)

ii) and iii) never made sense to me at all. this has been the main obstacle for me. i actually tried to get into religion between 2014-2015 lol

something else i don’t believe in: judgement before god

maybe i’m not understanding the bible correctly (frankly, i wanted to fall asleep after the first page of genesis), but how can you judge my lived experience when you have never had to live as a mere mortal with no extraordinary destiny or circumstances yourself?

i refuse to be judged by something like that

i cook like a sissy

i hold the spatula at an arm’s length away and i approach the pan from a 45 degree angle so that i don’t get hot oil splattering onto my forearm

suicide ideas

a few ways i’m thinking of committing suicide right now. i think i mentioned method #1 on my old blog, but not the others. i’m filing them all here for reference. these are what worked:

1. MBS - death of wilim/willim charles

https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/man-who-fell-from-52nd-floor-of-mbs-probably-committed-suicide-coroner

https://www.asiaone.com/print/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Crime/Story/A1Story20130516-423065.html

A tourist, whose body was badly severed in the fall from the 52nd floor of the Marina Bay Sands Hotel last June, was likely to have committed suicide, a coroner court heard on Tuesday.

The head and torso of Mr Wilim Charles were found on a 17th floor balcony while his legs were found in the fountain on the ground floor. Other parts of him were scattered about.

In his findings, State Coroner Imran Abdul Hamid noted that Mr Charles had used a deck chair to climb over the 1.1m-tall glass barricade of the balcony, stepped onto the planter's box and fallen to his death.

He was last seen alive smoking a cigar seated at a desk in the suite by the butler who came to carry Ms Lee's bags down at about 4pm. Casino records showed that although he was a Diamond Reward member, he was not a frequent gambler, having last played on April 14 last year. There was also about $43,000 in cash in the suite.

i like how he died. pretty fancy to be described as being ‘last seen alive smoking a cigar seated at a desk’ and having ‘$43,000 in cash in the suite’. i’m getting noir vibes all around haha

i’m not a fan of body parts being scattered about though. so i might want to bring this down to maybe the 30th-40th floor if i decide to attempt it like he did

2. kushiro coast -- death of wei qiu jie

https://japantoday.com/category/national/Body-found-on-Kushiro-coast-may-be-that-of-missing-Chinese-woman

https://www.scmp.com/news/china/society/article/2108965/body-confirmed-be-chinese-tourist-missing-japan

The body of a young woman was discovered along the coastline of Kushiro City, Hokkaido, on Sunday. Police believe the body may be that of Wei Qiu Jie, 26, a Chinese woman who has been missing since July 23.

Around 6 a.m. on Sunday, a man who was kelp fishing along the beach at Katsurakoi, discovered the body that had washed ashore and immediately notified the police, Fuji TV reported. The woman had long hair and was wearing a beige skirt and white blouse, similar to the clothes Wei was wearing when she was last seen.

She had left her hotel in Sapporo on July 22 for the day, leaving some of her luggage behind, but never returned.

Police later discovered she checked into a hotel at Akan Lake, about 300km from Sapporo, the same night she left Sapporo.

Witnesses said she boarded a tour boat at the lake and was last seen on surveillance camera footage at a convenience store in the nearby coastal city of Kushiro on July 23.

i like this one because i’m seeing millais’ ophelia in the water. the painting has been my laptop lock screen wallpaper for years haha

unfortunately, i’m a pretty alright swimmer. i imagine that i’d fight really hard if i tried to drown myself. i’d probably need to weigh myself down with a lot of rocks in my pockets (like virigina woolf) and bind my arms and legs when i go into the water

3. burning coal briquettes in a hotel room -- death of kim jong-hyun

https://www.straitstimes.com/lifestyle/entertainment/jonghyun-lead-singer-for-south-korean-boyband-shinee-dies-reports

K-pop group SHINee member Kim Jong Hyun, 27, died on Monday (Dec 18) in an apparent suicide, according to local reports.

Police found him unconscious at 6.10pm Korea time in his own apartment located in Cheongdam-dong, in the upscale Gangnam district, after his sister made a report at 4.42pm saying that her brother seemed suicidal.

The YTN news channel, however, reported that Mr Kim had checked into a serviced residence for two nights.

Mr Kim was taken to a nearby hospital, but eventually died.

Reports suggested he died of cardiac arrest from suspected carbon monoxide poisoning.

He was found to have burned a coal briquette on a frying pan. Charcoal briquettes can cause carbon monoxide poisoning in closed rooms.

i would probably choose a hotel room that comes with a kitchenette in tokyo. i went to seoul alone to get a feel of the city as a resting place, but it didn’t vibe with me as much as tokyo did

4. yellowknife, ingraham trail - death of atsumi yoshikubo

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/north/atsumi-yoshikubo-wrote-a-suicide-note-before-leaving-japan-1.2825863

Yoshikubo, 45, was a doctor who enjoyed travelling solo. She was reported missing Oct. 27, 2014 by staff at the Explorer Hotel.

Staff at the Explorer Hotel, where she was staying by herself, found all of her luggage in her room three days after she was supposed to have checked out. They called police, who found she'd missed her flight home to Japan on Oct. 26.

At the time, police said she had been last seen walking away from the city toward Highway 4, also called the Ingraham Trail.

Because investigators found only bone fragments, they couldn't determine exactly what caused Yoshikubo's death.

They did find two notes left by Yoshikubo: one, an apparent suicide note for friends and family in Japan; the other, found by searchers with her possessions in the bush in Yellowknife.

"It included... how much she loved the North, how much she loved Yellowknife, how much she loved the aurora," Menard said. "She expressed her wishes about wanting to be buried here."

unfortunately, we don’t know how exactly yoshikubo died.

but i imagine there are many ways one could die in the woods. starvation, dehydration, hypothermia, bear attack (if i’m going to go down like leo in the revenant, i expect an afterlife oscar)

i imagine it would be nice to die in the north toohttps://www.straitstimes.com/lifestyle/entertainment/jonghyun-lead-singer-for-south-korean-boyband-shinee-dies-reports

other suicides cases i’ve read about and will KIV when considering methods:

kate spade

christine chubbuck

sulli

hara

sylvia plath

krystal aki mizoguchi

daul kim

iris chang

kevin carter

paula goodspeed

keiko fuji

yukiko okada

simone mareuil

hanging is ideal to me. but man, what if i don’t get the knot right lol

#suicide

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