#doesn't like being hated and sometimes the RSD gets to him

[skepsiss]

Tooth and Nail pt2

Part 2 of this mini-series. I guess I'm writing like 4 mini-series right now. This story is about Eddie being the one to question his sexuality after Steve comes out first. Read the first part to get the full details.

This part is pretty darn sad with a lot of introspection. I put up a mini-poll asking people what they wanted to read the most and Eddie being introspective was winning when I started writing this. I'm likely to write all the options on that poll still, so don't fret. I want to say clearly too that I do not agree with Eddie's thoughts. Sharing your emotions is never selfish and I think the fact that he feels like a burden is something he needs to work through. He is unwell. I'll admit I made myself cry writing this so if you're emotionally fragile like I am (lol) read at your own risk.

TW: Internalized homophobia (he's working through it), self-hatred, brief thoughts on death, mention of war (Vietnam and Korea).

PT1 PT2 PT3

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"I kissed Steve."

"What?" Gareth said, startled as he stared at Eddie. 

Eddie was sitting on a beaten-up old armchair in Jeff’s garage; it was night and they’d opened the garage door to let in the summer air. The whole block was having a party and despite the time of night, the street was still alight with lamps and Christmas lights as people mingled in the street. Eddie had taken refuge in the garage (slightly paranoid that someone was going to touch the band equipment) after the first hour of forcing himself to be social. He had a beer in hand, even though he was underage, but it didn’t seem like any of the adults cared as long as they behaved. Hell, Eddie didn’t even live on this block but he was here enough that the neighbours didn’t seem to mind.

“A week and a half ago,” Eddie answered. He was slouching badly with one leg up on the seat, looking as if he was trying to lounge on a satee instead of a corduroy, La-Z-Boy from the 60s.

“Wait–sorry, what?” Gareth asked again, holding his own beer between his knees as he stared at Eddie. He had come to join him a few moments ago since Eddie had been moping by himself, and then they had proceeded to sit in silence until now.

Eddie flicked his gaze over to the younger boy before taking a long sip of his beer as if to say, yeah, you heard right without the willingness to repeat himself. He was quietly pissed, actually, but was chomping at the bit to talk to someone about it.

“So, are you like…” Gareth started, waving one of his hands as if that would fill in the blank.

“I’m fucking straight,” Eddie muttered, looking away and taking another long drink from his beer.

“Then why–” Gareth wasn’t going to get a word in edgewise and anyone who came to talk to Eddie when he was in a mood like this knew that coming in.

“I don’t fucking know!” Eddie grumbled, crossing his other arm over his chest and slouching all the way down in his seat so only his neck was being supported by the back of the chair.

Gareth frowned at him and looked away, no doubt wondering what he should say to all of that. It gave Eddie a moment to calm down and he eventually sat back up.

“I just…” he muttered, speaking into his drink, “I don’t know; it’d be easy if he was a girl. I just wish he was a girl.”

“Eddie…” Gareth mumbled a bit incredulously as he pinched his brows in. His expression was pitying and Eddie hated that it looked like he felt sorry for him. That was annoying and he scowled before looking away. 

Eddie’s logic was sound, it didn’t make sense why Gareth would be questioning it. Things would be easier if Steve was just a girl, that way if he had kissed him it wouldn’t be a big deal. Just an oops, sorry, that was uncool, well, anyways, and then they’d move on. He wouldn’t have to be dealing with this crisis of conscience and saying that he was just joking around wouldn’t have blown up in his face–maybe, he wasn’t sure. If Steve was a girl saying that he was joking actually might have blown up in his face more now that he was thinking about it… probably wasn’t cool to yank a girl’s chain like that.

“We were high and I don’t know, I wanted to talk to him about it being fine that he’s gay or whatever and I wasn’t thinking at all and I just…” Eddie sighed heavily and chugged the remainder of his beer. He twisted the pull-tab off and flicked it across the room, aiming for the bin and missing.

“You always want to kiss people when you’re high?” Gareth asked an edge of humour to his voice. He was teasing lightly, but Eddie didn’t have the patience for that kind of crap right now. 

“Fuck no,” Eddie grouched, crossing his arms and resuming his earlier position where one of his legs was up and he was slouched into the corner of the seat. “I wouldn’t kiss your ugly mug for money.”

Gareth snorted lightly and took a swig of his beer, letting the moment simmer.

“So…” he continued, glancing at Eddie before looking away sharply, “he get mad or something?”

Eddie groaned as he covered his eyes with the side of his hand, cupping his forehead as he tipped his head back. Why had he brought this up? He didn’t want to talk about this. It had been eating his insides alive, but he didn’t actually want to talk about it. What was Gareth going to do? Tell him the magic words to make Steve like him again?

“I told him I was joking,” Eddie mumbled, “and that I didn’t mean it–I even apologized, and I don’t fucking apologize to anyone.”

“Tell me about it,” Gareth muttered under his breath and Eddie hucked his empty beer can at his head, forcing Gareth to duck.

“Jesus–” he half laughed, the can knocking against him harmlessly and clattering to the ground, “just saying.”

Eddie flicked him off and motioned to get up. He didn’t need to be here for this, he didn’t want to be around people. This sucked. He could tell that Gareth was trying to be helpful–trying to be a friend–but he didn’t have the patience for it and he didn’t want to have another fight with another friend over something stupid.

Eddie stuck his hands in his pockets and shuffled over to Gareth before picking up the empty can and chucking it into the garbage. He wasn’t about to leave trash in Jeff’s garage, his parents let them practice there and store their gear most of the time and Eddie wasn’t going to burn this location. 

“Say bye to Jeff for me,” Eddie muttered, grouching out of the garage, “and thanks for the food.”

“You going home?” Gareth asked, leaning over the side of his chair to watch Eddie.

“No, this is an illusion,” Eddie mocked, turning and waving his hand in front of his face and giving a manic smile, “the Eddie you know died a long time ago.”

Gareth half laughed, but his brows pinched in at the same time. Eddie didn’t stick around to see if that meant he wanted to say something. He just continued to walk away, turning and hunching his shoulders as he walked past energetic little kids chasing one another and people starting to pack up their dishware. He didn’t feel like unpacking what he had told Gareth or why stating that he had died twisted his guts up into knots. He also didn’t like that he could tell that his upset wasn’t due to the fact that he was lying, but rather that it felt too close to the truth. 

Eddie lit a cigarette and started the long walk home. He lost the last of the dusk light halfway through his walk, already two cigarettes down as he got closer to Cherry Street. He wanted to say he ended up there by accident, but that would have been a lie. He walked this way often, actually, and it had been convenient once upon a time. Steve lived on Cherry Street… and Cherry Street backed up onto the forest that connected to the trailer park. A funny coincidence, he had said once to Steve, makes it easier to bother you. That was all too true now though. He was more than a bother.

Eddie stood looming at the end of the street as he stared off towards Steve’s house, the large, stark white structure easy to spot even in the dark. The lawn was lit up by small pot lights and the street lamp across the road shone brightly down onto the sidewalk. Eddie was out of view of any of the windows from his vantage, but he could see the side of the garage and the front of Steve’s house still.

He grumbled miserably and flicked the butt of his cigarette, not bothering to stamp it out before rerouting and taking the long way home. He didn’t want to walk past Steve’s place and risk seeing him, he didn’t know what he’d say if he saw him… he still didn’t really know what had happened. The whole thing felt jumbled in his mind and then crystal clear all at once. He could remember everything so vividly, but it was as if they had been speaking a foreign language to each other: none of it made sense.

Why did he kiss Steve?

Why had that led to Steve getting so angry he nearly got hit?

Why was he such a jackass that seemed to ruin any good thing that happened to him?

It was pitch black by the time Eddie made it home, but he knew the route well enough. The trailer park didn’t have any lights other than the rinky-dink porch lights that some of the homesteads had. It wasn’t that late, but things got dark this far away from town. He came home late like this all the time though, so it wasn’t a surprise when the flyscreen slapped open and Wayne was lounging on the couch. Wayne wasn’t working right now, which was a problem, but they had a small nest egg from the government to live off of for at least a few more weeks. It was amazing how far you could stretch a dollar when you’d been doing it for 20 years. 

“That you, Eddie?” Wayne asked, sparing a glance towards the door as a commercial popped onto the screen.

“Yeah…” Eddie mumbled, standing by the front door with his hands in his pockets still. He was looking at the ground, and Eddie wasn’t sure why he felt paralyzed. He didn’t want to move, but he didn’t want to be standing there either… stuck in some kind of limbo.

“You’re home early,” Wayne commented, his tone sounding cautious as if he wasn’t sure if a conversation was going to come out of this, “everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Eddie answered, again, not really sure what he was expecting.

Silence drew out between them as Eddie shifted from foot to foot, just wanting to… be around someone. He wasn’t sure if that was right, but he wanted to be invited in or something. He selfishly wanted to be comforted even though he was the problem.

“What’re you watching?” He mumbled, still not looking at Wayne.

“Mash,” Wayne answered easily, “reruns.”

Eddie nodded and sniffed, feeling like a stranger in his own home. Though he supposed that wasn’t right, this was Wayne’s home, he was a guest. He was a guest that had worn out his invitation by years and years. The deal had been until he graduated, but he still hadn’t done that and it was starting to feel like an impossibility. He didn’t want to be a burden though and he knew that getting a job was the next best thing… but he hadn’t been able to force himself to do that yet either.

Slowly, Eddie shuffled over to the couch and sat down a cushion width away from his uncle, looking up at the TV. The commercials were ending and Eddie felt his throat tighten as he tried to push himself into small talk.

“Is it a good episode?” He asked, having seen most of MASH living here with Wayne. He liked the show, and Eddie could understand why. All the characters questioned why they were at war and the ethics of it all. Made sense for someone like Wayne to get some kind of catharsis from the show after coming home from ‘Nam all those years ago.

“It’s the one where Hawkeye tries to get ribs sent from Chicago to Korea,” Wayne explained, sipping the drink he had in his hand and looking back at the TV.

Eddie snorted slightly, remembering the episode. He toed his shoes off and tucked up onto the couch so he could rest his chin on his knees, the room falling into silence except for the murmur of the TV and the tell-tale M*A*S*H song in the background. It was easy to watch and Eddie stared at the grainy images on the screen as Wayne and him shared the living room. He always liked that he could be quiet with Wayne, but it felt a bit forced on his part tonight.

A commercial broke up the episode and Eddie sighed, not looking at Wayne as he tipped his head to the side before chewing his lip and finally speaking.

“You ever… had a fight with a friend?” Eddie asked quietly, not liking the sound of his own voice right now. It was quiet for a beat before Wayne responded, his tone calm.

“Sure,” he said easily, obviously waiting for Eddie to continue, “you… have a fight with the band?”

“Steve,” Eddie mumbled, shaking his head no to Wayne’s assumption as he picked off the black polish on his nails.

“What did you do… to fix it?” Eddie asked, still not looking up.

“Apologized… talked, bought them a beer,” Wayne offered loosely, “depends on what the fight was about.”

Eddie nodded solemnly, not liking that there wasn’t some magic answer to his query. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but he didn’t feel like elaborating his problem either. So he just nodded and picked at his nails, waffling for a long time before more words tumbled out of him.

“Do you think… people just… dislike me?” Eddie asked, his lip quivering a bit before he got control of it, swallowing hard to hide his emotions. Wayne didn’t say anything right away which forced a bitter laugh from Eddie’s lungs.

“Like, I’m difficult, I know it, people don’t like difficult but sometimes…” Eddie smiled sadly as he held back his emotions, hiding his face between his knees again, “something even when I’m around people that are… like me, I’m just… different.”

Eddie didn’t like the words that were slipping out of him, why he felt like this was related to what had happened with Steve, or why he was saying it to begin with. He didn’t want to talk about this and he didn’t want to put this on Wayne to think about, that wasn’t fair. Wayne dealt with enough of his bullshit, more than any Uncle should have to, but sometimes Eddie couldn’t help that his uncle felt like the only safe person to talk to.

“It feels like it’s just so easy for me to–” he laughed quietly again, having a harder time holding back the wavering tone of his voice, “--to just–fuck things up with people.”

His body betrayed him and Eddie felt tears slipping down his face and he rushed to push them away so they wouldn’t be seen, still shielded by his knees as he hunched like a gargoyle.

“Eddie–” Wayne started, too much sympathy in his voice.

“Sorry,” Eddie muttered, trying to put levity into his tone, “I know you don’t like it when I drop the f-bomb.”

That was partly true, but Eddie also knew that Wayne didn’t care that much. They swore all the time, he just didn’t like being sworn at.

Wayne went quiet for a moment and Eddie squeezed his eyes shut, trying to get rid of any lingering tears that might be holed up in there.

“What’s going on, boy?” Wayne asked, his voice incredibly gentle.

Eddie felt his bottom lip bunch up, hating that any time Wayne sounded like that Eddie was doomed to start breaking down. It was like a superpower or something–he didn’t know, but Wayne had made him cry dozens of times when he felt on the verge of tears. He always felt selfish seeking out comfort from his uncle when he had already saddled him with so many problems.

“I hate people–” Eddie blubbered, not sure if that was what he really wanted to say but that felt like the strongest phrasing he could find to describe how he felt. He felt so small and so selfish, reverting back to some kind of scared kid who didn’t know how to deal with his own emotions. 

Eddie finally looked up, his face wet and his chest tight, and he crawled across the seat cushioned and collapsed onto his side, pressing his face into Wayne’s thigh. He was so pathetic… he was twenty years old and he was crying into his uncle's lap? Eddie the demon, the freak, the devil, metal head, satanic worshipper – yeah right.

“Sometimes it feels like–people just–I’m just–-I’m made to be hated,” he blubbered, hiding his face and gasping through his words. He felt miserable and like he wasn’t really saying what he meant, but he didn’t know what he wanted to say or even why he was doing this right now. It was like hundreds of emotions were trying to fight their way out of his chest and he couldn’t do anything about it. He hated it.

Wayne touched the top of his head and Eddie felt himself choke.

Wayne’s touch was gentle and Eddie couldn’t help but sob as he started to stroke the back of his head. It was a subdued affection, but one that Eddie knew was genuine. Wayne wasn’t a man of many words, so sometimes a touch was the best he was going to get. There was a reason why Wayne sometimes felt like the only safe person–even if Eddie still felt like he was a burden to his uncle.

“Everything about me just—” Eddie sobbed, gritting his teeth as he just let his thoughts and feelings freefall from him. “Why am–I—I–why do I like everything people can–can just hate–about me? I don’t like anything normal—I’m just–nothing about me is normal.”

Usually, Eddie was the first one to proclaim that he was different and scream it loudly for people to hear. He’d shout and point and own it and draw all the other weirdos towards him. He was the king of all the freaks, but it felt like he was still an island amongst them. He was always somehow different. Like there was this wall he bumped up against far too easily that would crop up out of nowhere. How he’d say or do something and just fuck everything up in one fell swoop. 

Why did he keep giving people new reasons to call him a freak?

“I hate being like this–I hate–I hate that I can’t just–be normal for—for five minutes,” he gasped, feeling that swell of self-hatred rising in his chest, “it’s always my fault–it’s–I’m always… so… difficult. I just—I can’t—...I don’t know why–I don’t—I hate it, I hate it so much.”

He was feeling sorry for himself again and that felt unfair. It didn’t feel like this was something he got to be upset about or something that Wayne or anyone else cared about. It felt unfair to complain to a man who had probably watched dozens of friends die right in front of him during the war; to complain to a man who had taken him in when no one else would and had to bear this kind of responsibility when he hadn’t asked for it. To have a snot-nosed-brat sobbing in his lap because people didn’t like him. But Eddie was nothing if not selfish.

“I’m so tired of being different–I don’t… I don’t want it anymore–why does it matter so much to people? I just–I don’t want it anymore–It’s–like—I know, I know people hate me—everyone in this goddamn town–people–pe—everyone hates me. Wayne–” he was heaving now as he rambled, everything just spilling out of him in these waves of emotions as each ugly sound crashed into the next. “It’s not fair—I don’t—I don’t want to be the freak–I don’t what—I don’t want to be a loser–to be a drop out–I don’t want—I don’t want to like men–”

The last of his confessions slipped out and Eddie felt his body tighten; his throat felt like it was being ripped apart and his lungs couldn’t pull in enough breath to satiate him. It hurt so badly. It hurt and he hated it and he didn’t know why he said it.

Eddie felt Wayne’s pets pause briefly before picking back up again. That more than anything made Eddie feel ashamed. It made his jaw shake and his shoulders tighten. How fear and sorrow rattled around inside of him at the consequences of his words. He didn’t know what saying them would do–he didn’t mean them. He knew he didn’t mean them–he couldn’t have meant them. Those words were a death sentence.

“It’ll be alright,” Wayne mumbled, the words not sounding as hollow as Eddie thought they would, “I like you plenty.”

Eddie tucked in at the compliment, feeling weak and small as his sobs quieted a bit. His tears didn’t stop, but his chest heaves changed into fluttering gasps as he slowly regained his composure.

“Freaks run in the Munson blood,” Wayne continued and Eddie blubbered a small laugh shifting to press into Wayne’s hip. He was such a child, but he couldn’t help but soak in the comfort.

It was quiet again for some time as Eddie’s crying turned into hiccups and then sniffles, the TV quietly rambling in the background. It took a long while for Eddie to calm down, but Wayne never stopped stroking his hair. He felt wrung out and hollow now, his emotions dull and his body aching from how hard he had cried. Still, it did feel better than when he walked in here.

“I kissed him…” Eddie said quietly. He felt Wayne shift to look down at him, a question in his movement.

“Steve,” Eddie explained, mumbling, “I kissed Steve the other week.”

“I see,” Wayne answered back, obvious awkwardness in his delivery. He had never been good at talking about stuff like this–anything really–but it was obvious that he was trying. “And he doesn’t like that you’re a guy?”

Eddie shook his head, and closed his eyes, tucking in closer still as he pressed his forehead against Wayne’s stomach.

“Steve likes guys,” Eddie sighed, breathing heavily as he wrangled his emotions.

“Alright…” Wayne replied slowly, obviously puzzling through everything. Eddie frowned and tucked in again, hiding as he felt shame wash over him.

“I kissed him…” he explained, sniffing, “and then I told him it was a joke, that I didn’t mean it…”

“Ah…” Wayne answered, sighing a knowing breath. “Did you mean it?”

Eddie swallowed thickly, taking a long time to answer as he pressed hard into Wayne as if he could disappear this way.

“I don’t know…” Eddie replied, his voice muffled. Wayne stroked his head again and Eddie breathed deeply through his mouth, feeling bad for crying all over Wayne’s lap.

“Alright,” Wayne answered simply, not pushing the subject at all. He was good at listening and Eddie quietly appreciated that Wayne always seemed to have time to listen to him ramble. Slowly, Eddie sat back up, his back to Wayne as he hugged his knees and rallied.

“Sorry,” Eddie mumbled, feeling like he had to apologize for the way he had acted. 

Wayne just patted his shoulder and Eddie felt a few tears slip down his cheek as if they had been knocked out of him by his uncle’s kindness. He sniffed hard again before getting off the couch and stumbling into the kitchen to splash water into his face and clean off the snot and tears. Eddie lifted the hem of his shirt to dry his face and then leaned against the kitchen counter, going quiet once more.

“Eddie?” Wayne spoke up and Eddie peered over at him through the cabinet shelf, “try telling your friend the truth.”

Eddie frowned at the suggestion, but he didn’t have it in him to be angry. Still, he didn’t think that was a great idea. What was he supposed to say? He wasn’t even sure if he knew what the truth was. How did he feel? Did he like Steve? That felt stupid and the idea made his stomach turn over. What good would a confession do anyway?

“And what’s that?” Eddie asked a bit flippantly, wiping wet strands of hair out of his face. 

“That you’re figuring it out and you want to stay friends,” Wayne offered, looking over at Eddie for a moment before turning to look at the TV again.

Eddie stared at the back of his uncle’s head, not sure what to say to that. Was it that simple? It felt like he wasn’t allowed to tell anyone that he didn’t know how he felt about something. That he was unsure and vulnerable and scared—it didn’t feel like things were allowed to be that simple.

He didn’t answer Wayne as the TV flicked from image to image painting the dark little trailer in different colours each time. It felt comforting and Eddie appreciated that his Uncle wasn’t smothering him. He was more grateful that Wayne had just… accepted him. He had accepted him like he always did. He hadn’t said anything when Eddie started to grow his hair out or when he got a tattoo, when he flunked school, and now when he had said… he liked men. It had been a surprise to hear himself say those words and there was still deep-rooted shame attached to all of that, but that felt like something he had to unpack on his own. Still, Wayne’s reaction had been the same as it was for all of Eddie’s past transgressions. He’d quietly support him or sigh with worry, but it never seemed to change anything between them.

Eddie shifted awkwardly from foot to foot and went to the fridge. He pulled out a can of beer and walked it over to his uncle, touching the cold metal to Wayne’s forearm so he’d look up.

“Thanks,” he muttered gruffly, looking at Eddie briefly before redirecting his attention to the TV.

“Yeah,” Eddie replied quietly, wiping his nose and touching his uncle’s shoulder before stepping away, “thanks.”

PT3

#we stan Wayne Munson in this house #Wayne Munson = best uncle #Eddit is dumb cause he spent all of last fic (the week prior to this) #proclaiming that he loved queer ppl cause they were treated like he is #he thinks queer people are cool but now he's like I CAN'T BE QUEER #that's just cause he's scared of what that means and he has to face so many horrors all the time #doesn't like being hated and sometimes the RSD gets to him #the “being straight” thing is like armor that has just been stripped away and he's been shown he can be hurt here too #he'll learn and grow and eventually love his queer-ness #my_writing #steddie #steve and eddie #eddie munson #steddie fic #my writing #wayne munson #I'm bored so take pt2 early

[the-self-indulgent-corner]

Genshin characters x a reader with ADHD!

Summary: Your ADHD is odd, however, your (boy)friend is just as strange, so you think it evens out.

Or, how the genshin characters react to a reader with ADHD. (Ft some lesser known aspects of ADHD)

Featuring: Tighnari, Venti, Xiao & Albedo. Can be read as romantic or platonic.

A/n: it's frankly criminal how few neurodivergent reader content there is out there so here I am.

Disclaimer!! While I do have ADHD nobody’s ADHD is the same, so what might be common for me is something another person has never experienced.

Also I drop some lesser known aspects of ADHD in this post so here’s a general index of what those terms mean. It’s a lot more nuanced than what I’ve written down here but it’ll give you a general idea of the concept!

Index:

Executive dysfunction/ADHD paralysis: Wanting to do your job/work, but it feels like you’re physically unable to.

Food sensory issues/selective eating habits: A lot of people with ADHD are ‘picky eaters’ and refuse to eat certain foods even if it's good for them. Usually we pick foods with high sugar since it causes a ‘dopamine surge’.

Auditory processing disorder (APD): Having difficulty making out what someone is saying or processing what someone said too slowly.

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD): Being much more sensitive to rejection or perceived rejection.

Verbal stim: Exactly the same as other stims (Like bouncing your leg or clicking a pen) but just with words. Usually being a certain phrase, sentence, or humming. Although any vocalization can be a verbal stim.

Tighnari

Probably the most knowledgeable about this out of everyone on this list.

He knows it's not just 'lose your focus fast' and that ADHD is a lot more nuanced than that but at the same time he isn't an expert on it.

You'll have to explain some things to him, and knowing Tighnari, he'd happily let you tell him.

Mf takes notes. If he gets too excited and overwhelmes you tell him so he'll calm down a little lmao

Downside of him knowing a lot about (your) ADHD is that he knows when you need to cut back on some things.

If you're a very picky eater like me and don't like the taste/texture of healthy food he will literally not allow it LMAO

You'll be eating an excessive amount of sugar and he'll literally snatch whatever is in your hands and tell you to eat something healthy instead. And no, you cannot convince him to give it back to you until further notice.

If you hate the texture of actual healthy food he’ll definitely find an alternative for you to eat no matter how long it takes. You are not getting out of this.

In the nicest way possible… Tighnari is probably a little annoyed about your ADHD sometimes 💀💀💀

He never blames you or gets mad at you because he knows it's not your fault when this does or doesn't happen but he's still a bit miffed about it lmao.

Like when your auditory processing disorder suddenly kicks in and you make him repeat himself ten times. Or how you space out during his lectures.

However, Tighnari is smart so he'd definitely find a way to gain your attention so when he tells you things you can actually pay attention.

He's pretty good at wrangling your executive dysfunction, too (he's used to Collei having similar problems when he's tutoring her). He believes in the work/reward system and he always knows what'll make you actually get up to do what you're supposed to.

Usually by using your current hyper fixation/interests against you LMAO

"Do that assignment/task and I'll take you out to get that merch you've been wanting for over a month."

"YOU WILL!?"

(If you like soft things like his ears, he would absolutely use it as bait for you to do your work also LMAO)

But if it's a really rough day he knows when to dial back on his constant nagging for you to do your work and encourages you to take it easy for the day.

If you're like me and forget things semi-regularly he'd always remind you. Especially if it's an outing/meeting with someone.

(Although, if you're the type of person to get annoyed by it he'll stop/dial it back if you ask.)

You 🤝 Tighnari

Can be overstimulated by loud noises easier than others.

Seriously though you both are at a loud party or something and look over to each other giving each other the 'why are we here? Just to suffer'? Look.

But if either of you are about to/are overstimulated you leave the area with each other to calm down. It's sweet 💖

He was originally a bit annoyed by how easily your mind wandered or how quickly you jumped from topic to topic but got used to it after a while. It even grew on him, he finds it endearing nowadays.

Always loves to hear you talk about your hyper fixation, seeing you so happy makes him happy too.

(And you best believe you'll be listening to that boy's flower talk. You think you know more than most rangers about the flora in Teyvat than they do. He's cute though, and you love hearing him talk about it as well, so really it's a win-win scenario.)

Mean this in the nicest way possible, but.. Tighnari is probably going to make you feel really bad once or twice on accident LMAO

With this tough love nature and your Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria you sometimes can't tell when he's being sarcastic/playful and/or he didn't mean what he said (or simply didn't understand.)

He almost always realizes right away and reassures you he meant no harm, and you believe him, but you're understandably still a bit upset LOL

He always makes it up to you, though <3

And if you ever get mad at yourself about how easily you get upset he's always there to reassure you that it's okay and you shouldn't bash your emotions like that, even if they're irrational.

He's your free therapist /j

Was originally confused when you started verbally stimming around him before you explained that to him as well. As long as it's not unexpectedly loud, he doesn't mind it and if you ever stop for a long period of time he def gets a bit upset 💀 like 'why'd you stop?? Did something happen??'

And if you stim in a way that hurts you he definitely puts a stop to it right away. Usually by offering you alternative ways to stim in ways that don't make you hurt yourself.

He is your mom (boy)friend <3

“I knew it. This place is way too loud for you as well, isn't it? C'mon, let's go out for a bit.”

Venti

"Oh you mean like the thing where you can't sit still?"

Hit him.

But really, Venti doesn’t quite understand what ADHD is all that much. He’s heard the term before but never really cared to figure out what it means. You’ll have to educate him on it before he understands.

Honestly he’s kind of surprised at how much more there is to ADHD than he originally thought. Like damn your brain works against you like that?? You deal with that DAILY?? Damn bitch you live like this? /lh

… But also he unironically kind of finds it funny.

“I can’t believe your brain will go to such lengths to not do work just because it doesn’t like it.”

“Shut up.”

Sorry, but Venti is a tease at heart and he cannot hold himself back. Although, if he sees you genuinely upset by what he said he’ll apologize.

Despite that Venti is actually really good at helping you if you need it. He never gets annoyed if he has to repeat himself a dozen times or if he has to help you get something done, or if he has to calm you down for any reason.

If your ADHD is keeping you from falling asleep Venti always offers to sing you to sleep, it’s up to you if you decide to accept or not. (He’ll be very pouty if you decline though lol)

If you're like me and have lost items right in front of you (once I lost an item I was looking for for a good fifteen minutes. It was in my hand.) Venti can and will tease you about this.

"Hmm~ I don't know… Where did you see it last?" You could basically hear the laugh in his voice.

Once you do find it in a really obvious spot he will then laugh out loud. Just joke about breaking up with/leaving him and he'll quickly be on his knees apologizing

If one of your vocal stims is humming/singing anytime Venti catches wind of it he's definitely singing along with you. It turns into a karaoke in seconds and you're both laughing and smiling by the end of it.

He’s surprisingly one of the most understanding people on this list. No matter what, he'll always be there for you and somehow always knows how to help. You asked him about that and he said,

“Well, a magician can never reveal their secrets.”

“You’re not a magician, though. You’re a bard.”

“Then how is it that I stole your heart?”

Hit him again /j

Although there is one aspect he’s not great at steering you away from only because he’s also bad at steering himself away from it.

Impulsive tendencies.

Did you impulsively buy something? What a coincidence. Venti did something similar just seconds ago. Did you leave the group you were with because something caught your eye? Venti is right beside you, also looking for whatever caught your attention. Did you say something without really thinking about it? Venti just did the same somewhere across the room.

You guys are almost in sync for impulsive decision making no matter how far apart you two may or may not be.

On multiple occasions you’ve both run to each other in a panic after you both impulsively did something you shouldn’t have.

“Venti, help! I just entered a competition I know nothing about and it starts tomorrow afternoon!”

“Y/n, help! I just promised I’d do something I definitely shouldn’t!”

You both look at each other in panic and internally scream.

Xiao

Unlike Venti, Xiao hasn’t the slightest clue what ADHD is. He literally has no concept of mental disabilities and genuinely just thought some people had a harder time with things, not that their brain is wired differently.

Before you tell him he’ll see you stimming sometimes or notice you say certain words or phrases multiple times and just shrugs it off as ‘human things’. Same could be said for most of your ADHD shenanigans.

It was a blessing and a curse since he wouldn’t judge you for any of them, however if something like your executive dysfunction kicked in he’d probably think you’re being lazy 💀💀

You’d have to have a long sit-down talk about your ADHD and everything that goes on with it before he understands and can help you with it.

Even if you’re like me and your explanation skills are about as clear as muddy water he’d likely at least get the gist of it.

Now listen, Xiao is a harsh person by nature but once you tell him about your rejection sensitive dysphoria and what it means he’s probably looking back on anytime he was even slightly mean to you and worrying about if he accidentally hurt you.

Reassure him that even if he did hurt you, it’s in the past now and he knows to do better now.

Boy is much softer to you after that talk, even if he won’t admit it. He's the one least likely to accidentally hurt you with words out of everyone.

Xiao didn’t- and frankly, still kinda doesn’t- know a lot about humans before he met you, so he’s learning as he goes. Which means that at the beginning he’s going to be really awkward with comforting/helping you.

He’s trying though! And if you tell him how to help either before or after something like your executive dysfunction starts acting up, he’ll… still be a little awkward, if i’m being honest, but it helps much more than before you told him anything. The more he gets used to your ADHD the easier it’ll be for him to help you with it.

It becomes easier over time for both of you and Xiao slowly grows a ‘sixth sense’ if something is wrong.

Forgot something at the house? Xiao is already handing it to you as you turn around to go and grab it. Impulsive did something you probably shouldn’t have? Xiao is suddenly there to calm you down and do damage control. Your brain suddenly refusing to process what someone said? Xiao breaks down what they said so you can fully process it.

Seriously, bring him grocery shopping with you. He'll remember things you didn't even put on the list.

You wonder how Xiao got this power and Xiao also wonders how he got this power but he isn’t complaining. If he can help you in any way, he will.

"Hey, you forgot your lunch. I don't want you going hungry while I'm gone..."

Tease him about how he's acting like a caregiver and watch him turn red.

Albedo

He didn't know much about ADHD before he met you if he was being honest.

He knew more than Venti and Xiao but less than Tighnari, so you won't have to explain as much as you did with the previous two!

He finds it very intriguing, although he is the chief alchemist and human psychology has little to nothing to do with that, he finds himself listening to everything you have to say about it.

He knew humans learned in different ways but he didn't know how nuanced all of it was.

Just like Tighnari this guy is taking notes, although he's a bit calmer than Tighnari was lmao

"Fascinating. I knew humans were complex creatures, but this is much more nuanced than I originally anticipated."

Just like with Xiao, even if your explanation skills are less than ideal, Albedo still gets what you mean.

Seriously, he will pry every detail that you know about it out of you to the point that the conversation has already passed three hours and neither of you noticed.

He's asking questions you didn't even think of and you've known you've had ADHD for years.

Unfortunately, you often have to disappoint him with the fact that there's not exactly an abundance of information on mental illness/disabilities and that he'd likely have to find out for himself.

Even after that Albedo still asks you questions about your ADHD sometimes which you can either quickly answer or it takes ten minutes of pondering to figure it out.

He waits for you tho <3

You 🤝 Albedo

What the fuck is a social cue

You're usually at least a little better at spotting them than Albedo is, but it's still something you both struggle with 💀💀💀

Difference is that while you may try to apologize, Albedo just doesn't care.

He lives on a cold mountain, it's only natural that he has bad people skills. (He just like me fr fr)

In the nicest way possible the first few times you impulsively make a decision/have Executive dysfunction/etc Albedo will definitely say smthn like, "Oh, so this is what it looks like." 💀

Mf is lucky he's cute.

Afterwards though he'll help in any way he can. Which, of course means, any way alchemy can.

You're surprised at how useful all the things he made for you are, and you're grateful for that man making them for you every day.

All of Albedo's previous note-taking and observations of any bad habits you have because of your ADHD ended up with him being able to handle your bad habits better than you can 💀

Buddy is too smart for his own good.

You're taking notes from him at this point. You'd be a little offended that he knows more about your mental disability than you do but honestly if it helps you manage it better you'll take it with open arms.

While you're in his laboratory he likes hearing about you info dump about your hyper fixation. It's better background noise than the howling winds outside and you look adorable while talking about it. That's a win-win for him.

(Although like Tighnari, you'll also hear about his own experiments. Even if you're not really processing the information Albedo appreciates that you're trying)

If you're more creatively inclined he'll occasionally ask for your help if he's stuck on a project to see if you can think of something he hasn't yet. Even if you don't he says your input helps (translation: he likes hearing your voice and opinions)

Out of everyone on this list he's the least baffled about your odd habits. Man's is so unbothered by everything it's kinda funny.

The only thing he's worried about is when you look after Klee alone… he trusts the both of you to be able to take care of yourselves, but Klee is impulsive by herself. And if you're also impulsive it could lead to tragedy.

"You're aware the acting grand master is trying to stop Klee's habit of fish blasting, correct?"

"Well, maybe the acting grand master should try fish blasting herself! It's not our fault it's so fun!"

You're not allowed to babysit anymore

Ending note: I'm so bad at hcs it's also kinda funny. Ah oh well, at least you can say I tried! Sorry if anyone was ooc but also this is MY blog and I GET TO CHOOSE how to portray characters!!1! Also if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes no there isn't.

I was planning on adding more characters but kinda ran out of steam lmao. Mayhaps I will one day, but for now this is all you get <3 bye~

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x adhd reader #albedo x reader #tighnari x reader #venti x reader #xiao x reader #adhd reader #im down so bad for fictional men i have a problem

[belzrgr]

-> Mc with BPD

Version: brothers

Contains: mood swings (Lucifer), intense emotions (Satan), splitting (Asmodeus), dissociation (Mammon), rejection sensitive dysphoria (rsd)(Leviathan), unstable sense of self (Beelzebub), impulsivity (Belphegor)

Lucifer

At one moment you're feeling alright, then when Lucifer sees you one hour later, you're laying in bed and crying

No matter how intense your mood swings may be, Lucifer doesn't get annoyed with you to the point you wonder how someone could possibly be so patient

You're depressed? Lucifer is there if you need a hug, he'll hold you and tell you how much he loves you, that your mean thoughts aren't right and that whatever happens, he will be here to help you however you need

You're angry? The eldest lets you rant and vent and offers you a pillow to punch and bite, if you need it. It's alright if you cry as well, he won't make fun of you

Though he may often get angry at his brothers, it isn't for their feelings but their actions. Lucifer is no stranger to dealing with lots of things at once, so even if your mood swings get especially intense, he will have no problem helping you through it

Mammon

Sometimes, when everything is just too much, your brain shuts down. It's like you've been put to power saving mode. Everything feels strange, not real, as if you were underwater or controlling a video game character. Your emotions are numbed and you don't understand how you could have been so upset just moments before

Mammon doesn't take long to notice your difference in behaviour. Maybe it's the calmness in your measured movements or the lack of reaction to something you would have usually laughed or gotten angry at. You just watch him as he talks, listening but not reacting

It scares him, because he doesn't know what's happening but you quietly explain it, what triggered you and how now, your brain decided that you should have a time out, basically

As much as it doesn't sit right with him, Mammon understands that it was one of those things that just happened, something you couldn't change right now but wouldn't be forever. He asks if he can hug you

Talking to you like this doesn't become less strange as time goes on but Mammon makes an effort to stay by your side. He makes sure you're looked after and grounds you when you need it

When you start to go to him first thing every time you dissociate, it does make him happy. You know he's a safe place and he will do everything in his power to make sure it stays that way

Leviathan

If there's one thing Leviathan understands, it's being sensitive to rejection. Even just telling him that you don't have time to continue playing that video game with him tonight makes him worry that you suddenly hate him

So, knowing that you're struggling just as much as him, that you're so worried over being rejected that you start to distance yourself from him when your head starts to get too mean...

At first, when he didn't know yet, Levi was so scared that he had done something wrong, that maybe you realised that he wasn't as great as you thought and that you could do much better than spend any of your time on him

But when you guys talked it out? He struggles but when he thinks about how you must be feeling, so scared that you do anything to keep yourself from getting hurt, even if it hurts you to distance yourself, Levi starts reaching out to you

Hesitantly at first, asking you if you dislike him now or if it's your rsd acting up. After having experienced it a few times, Levi gets more sure and whenever he notices you starting to withdraw again, he searches you out

Holding you in his arms, reassuring you that he won't leave you, that he loves you, that he would never abandon you no matter what your brain tells you. Knowing he can soothe you, that it's him helping you, makes him really happy and proud

Satan

The last thing he expected was to see you, someone so kind, so gentle, burning with such rage that you're lashing out so strongly

He gets almost drunk of your anger, a whiplash of pure emotion hitting him in the face

He lets you live it out, making sure that you're no destroying anything important and very glad that as a demon, you could punch his chest with all your might and it wouldn't hurt him much, if at all

Then it dies down and you feel horrible but Satan is no stranger to outbursts of rage and the following aftermath. It's alright if you need to cry, to distract yourself, if you need a hug or someone to listen to you. He doesn't hold your emotions against you, not when he knows how overwhelming they can be, destroying all reason

Finding out that it's because of your personality disorder that you feel emotions so intensely and that it's not limited to anger but all other emotions as well, only makes Satan want to find out more. He reads up on it of course but he also asks you, because while similar, everyone's experience is unique

He asks what the best way to help you is depending on what you feel like and he does his best to make you're you can get through bouts of strong emotions in safe environments. There is no need to feel ashamed, he tells you, because you cannot control your emotions and feeling a certain way does not make you a bad person

Asmodeus

Despite what some may say, Asmodeus is incredibly nurturing towards those he holds dear. There is not much he doesn't know how to deal with when it comes to your struggles because of your disorder but if there's one thing that he had a hard time with, it's if you ever split on him

It's better if he knows of your disorder beforehand, because that knowledge can help him feel less hurt by it. He knows you're not doing it on purpose, that you cannot choose how you feel and how your brain tries to defend you from getting hurt but that doesn't mean it's not a horrible experience to know the person he loves so much has suddenly started seeing him as the worst person imaginable

Of course, he's not giving up on you and it's only a matter of time before you split back again, sorry for the fact that you couldn't hold back the thoughts telling you that he was only playing with you, using you, that he would throw you away when he got bored of you, that all the sweet things he told you were nothing but lies

Anything he told you during that time would be for naught, doubt and anxiety clouding your mind. At some point, it's almost worse knowing that for you to have split on him, you had to have been triggered

Asmodeus never wants to make you feel like he would abandon or reject you, knowing that you worry about it breaks his heart. He loves you so much and he will keep telling you, with time he will figure out with you what things trigger you, so that he can adjust. Sometimes, all it takes is saying things a bit differently, offering you to join him or even just making sure to reassure you that there's no one else for him, that no matter how much he loves his fans, they could never get close to you

It's hard and it hurts you both but you can work on it, together and if there's one thing Asmodeus will never give up, it's you

Beelzebub

It worried him, sometimes. The way you would watch a movie or series with him, one which you enjoyed immensely, and then suddenly act so different

In a way, you acted reminiscent of your favorite character from the story and of course, you told him it was temporary, something he had witnessed himself but Beel couldn't help trying to make sure you're really ok. Every time

It should have been no surprise to him when slowly, you started to change on a more consistent basis. You started talking less, touching your wrist when you were flustered or nervous and your regular expression turned into something much more... stoic

Slowly but surely, you had started acting more like him. Of course, there were little changes in your speech pattern or habits you had picked up from others over time but the amount to which you took over his characteristics was almost frightening

As if he was looking in a mirror, except it pained him because he would much rather see you, the person he had come to adore and not a junior version of himself

When he talked to you about it, you broke down. It wasn't on purpose, you just loved him so much, everything about him that you couldn't help it, couldn't help the way you mirrored him

Some time to yourself was needed, you both agreed, no matter how much it pained you. Beel and your best friend planned a trip for you, making sure you had the possibility to practice all those hobbies you liked, which you hadn't touched in weeks, some not even for months

He'd call you every night, talk to you about your day and about his, tell you how much he loved you and looked forward to seeing you again. When you finally got to fall back into his arms, you vowed never to let it get this far again

From then on, Beel would leave you to persue your hobbies, give you alone time so you could find yourself again, even if he had to push you a bit. The way you hugged him after yearning to see him for so long made up for it a bit

Belphegor

Belphegor makes an honest effort to get enough rest in to be able to do things with you, like go on dates, which he'd otherwise feel too exhausted to get up for. A chore, he would say, if it weren't for the way it made your eyes light up

But that wasn't a problem for him, he'd happily do that if it made you happy. What he couldn't agree to was the way you would sometimes jump up and decide to do something out of nowhere

If you were only spontaneous, perhaps he could have lived with that but your impulsive moods drove you to subtle acts of self harm that he would not tolerate

You wanted to go on a spending spree, looking as if Mammon had possessed you? Jump that hot classmate you didn't even really like? Go out to the Fall without anyone to look out for you? No no, none of that

Belphegor was quick to notice when you got into one of your moods, when you craved some type of stimulation so much that you didn't care for rationality or consequences. Reeling you in was easier than one may expect, but caging you into his arms and slowly letting his calming powers lay over you like a blanket worked wonders

If you still wanted to go buy something or go party for the night, he wouldn't hold you back. All he wanted was for you to take a moment to breathe and to think, to come down and decide if that is really what you wanted, what you needed

And if you feel yourself drop, sobbing into his chest until you felt a little more stable, then Belphie would be glad for the fact that he could hold and comfort you like this, to keep you safe from yourself in moments like this

#obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #Obey me headcanons #Hc #Hcs #bpd #Obey me comfort #Om! Swd #Mental illness #borderline personality disorder #rejection sensitive dysphoria #Rsd #emotional instability #Asmo #Levi #Beel #Belphie #Mine

[hunter-sylvester]

Hi! I’m the anon who wrote the ask about Hunter’s parental issues and about his attachment to Kevin. Thank you for answering my asks, I absolutely love the way you write and how you explain everything! You’re extremely talented!🫶

I honestly didn’t notice how in love Hunter was with Kevin until I watched the movie a second time. It’s crazy how you can literally see all feeling in Hunter’s eyes when he looks at Kevin. I also loved how you said that their relationship fits a BDSM bratting dynamic, because I totally see it.

[and as someone who has ADHD and deals with RSD on a regular, I completely understand him. It sucks.]

Hey 🤘 [prev ask for context] Yeah I obviously couldn’t be 100% sure they were from the same person but it definitely makes the most sense lol

Thank you so much! I’m really glad you enjoy my rambling thoughts about Hunter as a character <3

If you do like my writing, I’m tempted to sheepishly gesture over to my actual Metal Lords fics over on Ao3 if you haven’t checked them out, even tho it makes me feel like a bit of a dick to do so 😅 (They are mostly locked to registered users, blame AI data scraping. The only Metal Lords fic not locked rn is a tiny ficlet. An Ao3 account is free tho 👀)

In any case, I really appreciate that you pushed me to do a bit of analysis again. Because sometimes I tend to forget that all the stuff that lives in my head as “obvious” isn’t always stuff I’ve said out loud on here lmao

There’s a lot to pull from the film if you’re willing to be a bit mentally ill about it.

And you’re absolutely right about the way he looks at Kevin, I mean, it happened enough for me to make a whole ass gifset of it lmao

Look at him. The boy is smitten. Clueless, of course. But smitten.

Which I credit basically entirely to Adrian Greensmith, as it was a vision he had for the character. I really can’t imagine Hunter having been played by anyone else as he brought so much to the role. (Fun fact, if I remember correctly: Noah Urrea, who plays Clay, originally auditioned for Hunter. No harm but I'm very glad he didn't get that. He makes a good Clay and Hunter just needed to be played by Adrian.)

One of the key things Adrian brought to the role also being, probably accidentally, his anxiety.

"I spent a lot of Metal Lords feeling a bit anxious [...] and in hindsight I wonder if some of that was just a sign that Hunter was quite an anxious character [...] I mean his body's so tense all the time." - Adrian Greensmith.

I shortened that quite a bit so I'm including a slightly longer clip of the interview audio for more context. (I can upload a subtitled video clip if anyone wants that as well as link the video on yt but I'd have to do a bit of a search for that)

Aside: If I had to guess I'd say he's probably referring to Peter Sollett who directed Metal Lords when he mentions a 'Pete'.

And yeah the bratting thing was a little bit of a joke but mostly not a joke. Without going absolutely off the deep end, the mentality behind bratting is something I really see in Hunter.

Evie Lupine has a wonderful video about bratting and why people would be interested in it (and why some people hate it) but a short snippet that always spoke to me from that is the following:

"The motivations behind bratting are pretty varied. I think one of the main ones would be a sense of security and comfort. This is when the acting out is sort of a way to be reassured that even when you, break rules, even when you push at things, the partner that you're with is not going to abandon you." - Evie Lupine

Obviously, with Hunter's fear of abandonment, it's easy to see why this would appeal to him.

He also just...idk he has brat energy - sincerely, a brat.

And Kevin does just play out the counterpart to that. He doesn't always have Hunter under control but he tries to.

And he does mostly act as that safe person to brat against, which again amplifies the impact it has when Hunter starts to think he's actually losing Kevin, destroying that feeling of safety.

Aside: I obviously don't think that these characters, in universe, negotiated for a bratting dynamic. In universe it'd be something that just sort of organically developed within their friendship/relationship. But even more than that it's an archetype of a dynamic that we as the audience can easily read into their interactions if that makes sense.

Can you believe the shit they will accidentally put in movies? lmao

And yeah, I have ADHD as well. And RSD is something that affects me pretty fucking severely. I've only really become more aware of it in the past year or so as my partner has pointed it out more and more.

So it's definitely something that I then noticed more and more in Hunter too.

Obviously this is all just my take on the character, and other people might have totally different interpretations. That's the beauty of art, we all get to find what we need in it and read it in our own ways, influenced by our own life experiences.

Thank you again for asking, Anon 🤘 (if you want to use a nickname or smth to identify that you're the same Anon, let me know. If not, that's totally okay too, but I might not always know it's you)

#this was supposed to be more CASUAL and it kinda is?? just still...long lmao #it's over fucking 800 words again #metal lords #hunter sylvester #answered ask #hunters asks #anon ask #hunterwriteswords #character analysis #adrian greensmith #kevin x hunter #kevin schlieb #my post #gifs

[littleblueberryartist]

Genshin Neurodivergent Headcanons!

Note: Most of the hcs I have are ADHD related! I know that there's a lot more to neurodivergency than just ADHD, however as someone with ADHD myself I tend to base hcs off on my own experiences and projections lol so if you were wondering this is why

Anyway on with the hcs!

Venti: ADHD

He is. So full of love. He loves deeply and wholeheartedly and cares so damn much be it romantic or platonic attraction (adhd making your feelings feel so big they'll burst right out of your chest)

I think they used to be a lot more emotional back when they first became a god (he's far from stoic and still super expressive now, but he keeps his true emotions under lock and key)

the NB and the Old Mond Gang taught him to love and care and fight for freedom, but they weren't used to the sheer intensity of human emotion (emotional disregulation go brrrr)

holds strong to his ideals and beliefs

the wind is constantly blowing and venti is constantly moving

tons of dopamine from music fr

Coming up with sick rhymes is really mentally stimulating

fast paced brain + 2.6k years worth of experience is how he comes up with new songs and rhymes so fast

Good with words but can get rambly and a bit long winded (not as long winded as ZL tho)

He would do the stimming hand flaps he absolutely would

wing flap stims in archon form too

vocal stims this guy thrills like a bird and makes wind chime noises

hates the texture of cheese specifically but I don't think he says much about the actual taste?? kinda like me with tuna so sensory sensitivity???? (I love cheese tho)

despite being my most brainrotted character I don't have too much in game evidence for ADHD Venti lol it's all vibes

also he's my comfort character so they're just like me fr (and that includes the they/them pronouns)

Yoimiya: ADHD

Easily excited and feels deeply and wholeheartedly (adhd dials feelings up to 100 and that includes the positive ones)

She talks a lot, runs on sentences and sometimes doesn't even realise that she's doing it, changes topics a ton

talkativeness is a way that adhd can manifest and it's one of the ways it shows up in me

her vibes and how she talks reminded me a lot of myself and I got attached (she's just like me fr)

hyperfixates on fireworks don't @ me

Man I sure am lucky I hyperfixated on my family business and never stopped

the colourful lights of the fireworks are a visual stim for her

vocal stims and echolalia

the latter happens a lot when she's hanging around kids bc I do it with little sister

She runs all over the place and is just generally super active and lively (see: her dashing around in the genshin lantern rite promotional vid)

Albedo: ADHD + Autism

only puts in effort and excels in shit that interests him

hyperfixates on art and alchemy he's my inattentive adhd bestie

absolutely twice exceptional (gifted + neurodivergent)

this entire link: https://www.reddit.com/r/Genshin_Impact/comments/mehjk5/hypothesis_albedo_has_adhd_inattentive_type/

He doesn't exhibit many outwardly hyperactive traits but his mind is constantly going

I've seen the Autistic Albedo hc much more than I've seen the ADHD one and I agree with both. Co-morbid king

He likes Dragonspine bc the snow absorbs sound and helps with overstimulation

Sucrose: ADHD + Anxiety

lost her friends before. I'm a bit luckier in this aspect I think, but a lot of adhd peeps have a hard time making and keeping friends

Past rejections have affected how she views herself and her relationships

RSD from both the anxiety and ADHD god help her

This sense of guilt for bothering people just by talking to them even though she knows logically that that's not how it works (aqua your projection is showing-)

Particularly prone to overstimulation by noise because of her enhanced hearing

ND to ND communication with Albedo (and honestly Timaeus too)

Alchemy hyperfixation. Specifically bioalchemy and sweet flower modifications

either way she's the genshin ver of my biology special interest so I want to be friends

Hutao: ADHD (This hc was absorbed over from a friend bc I don't actually know her lore that well)

Whismy!!! Sillay gal!!!

she pulled a me when she was younger and decided "Oh I'm weird? Well guess what I think it's cool so now I will be cringe and free"

would rather die than be bored (me too)

loves pranking and poking reactions out of ppl

Some ADHD ppl like to start drama for the thrill/stimulation

This entire chunk of her character story 1

A lot of ppl with ADHD study or read better while moving around or standing

Doing handstands can also be her way of making things more interesting or challenging (gamification to get rid of boredom)

She's very whimsy as a character but takes her job as a funeral director very seriously

Man I sure am lucky I hyperfixated on my family business and never stopped

Kazuha: some flavour of nd but also ???

very in tune with the environment and good with slight sounds and smells

adhd brain taking in all the sudden random changes maybe???? nature is his interest so it catches his eye and keeps his focus perhaps???? idk the adhd "hey look at that bug" meme

particular about how his food is made even tho he may not always get that luxury with his life as a wanderer, food/sensory sensitivities?????

yeah not too sure on this one but putting here anyway bc I like him

#genshin impact #Venti #Yoimiya #Albedo #Sucrose #Hutao #Kaedehara Kazuha #headcanon #aqua's ramblings

[cybernightart]

I was watching a video on the pictures of mental disorders like ADHD and autism (and more) and it made me think of this. It's kinda rambley so be warned.

I love the head cannon of Genji having ADHD and/or autism as someone with ADHD and in the process of getting an autism diagnosis myself, I can definitely see myself and quite a lot of his character in the way he acts or interacts with other characters in the world around him.

And there has been a few fanfics or just things I read in general of people with the same headcanon and I know it's unintentional, but the amount of times that characters feel like they're being infantilized, made out to be stupid or annoying, completely unaware of themselves, or very stereotyping about ADHD and autism is quite often. And I know it's because of media portrayals and just not much understanding. It can just be a little disheartening sometimes, especially when it no longer feels like the character because they pushed them so far into stereotypes that it doesn't feel like them anymore.

There's some things about having ADHD specifically that are like dead giveaways if you know what you're looking for, but the most common thing I see being done is the hyperactivity part, I've seen betrayals of Genji where he's just non-stop talking constantly bouncing off the walls of so much energy and it's just hyperactive all the time. And as much as hyperactivity is a part of ADHD, most often than not hyperactivity is internal in adults (also when girls and women) so they may be having a million thoughts at once but could be standing there with their arms crossed staring into space (totally not talking from experience XD) or if they are rushing around doing things they're jumping from different tasks to task and then remembering the task they started going back to it and it's just a constant cycle. Plus as you grow up you get a better understanding of how your individual experience with ADHD works and you can learn to cope with it more, and if you've accessed medication.

We know Genji used to be really impatient, and struggle with his attention and a whole bunch of other things canonically, and he only ever did things that he was interested in because he couldn't physically do things he didn't care about (like how he didn't find interest or like the clan activities but loved playing video games and training) and similarly defiant or oppositional behavior is another trait. He even fits with the common problem with ADHD even insomnia, with him being unable to sleep in anything up staying up late talking with Angela. ADHD can also influence emotional things like having stronger reactions with anger or rage, that seemingly come out of nowhere or are far larger than what caused them.

And now with zenyatta's help he was able to find ways to help him regulate his attention more, help him to be more patient, and try and keep on the same train of thought. By no means is he "cured" he has just accepted who he is and is able to find ways to help him in his daily life.

Anyways to get back to what I was saying before, there's just times that I've been reading these fanfictions and stuff and it just feels like there is no understanding or very little understanding of what she's actually like to deal with and not just from an outsiders perspective looking at someone with ADHD. Because so much of it is internal. And even with physical aspects of it they're not ...good... Like headaches, rashes, emotional outbursts/very strong emotions like with rage, sadness, even joy, not to mention RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) which feels horrible and makes you feel like every little thing you do only makes the people you care about hate you more or never liked you to begin with, sensitivity to sensory input like lights and sound and specially touch. And it being simplified to just hyperactive "oh sorry I can be forgetful sometimes"/"I'm not like other girls"/ "oh I'm so hyper! I have soooo much energy" just doesn't feel good.

This applies to not just Genji and depictions of ADHD but characters in media in general. I didn't speak on autism as much, because even though it's very likely I have it I am not fully diagnosed yet so I don't want to speak on it too much in terms of personal experience. Also not judging anyone for the way they write characters or anyone in particular, it's just more occasional tidbits I pick up on from time to time from everywhere from the OverWatch community to media and to film and TV.

#overwatch #genji #overwatch 2 #genji headcanons #genji adhd #adhd #adhd problems #adhd representation #personal experience with adhd #rant

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

looking for some reassurance (and possibly advice?), i don't think there's any tws but i'm sorry if i miss something

lately i've been really struggling like feeling like i'm just like my abusers and combined with rsd and probable bpd and i just have a complete nightmare any time i try to interact with people. i feel like none of my friends care or want to hang out with me, especially the person i consider my best and closest friend. i don't really have a basis for it beyond everyone either doesn't or takes a long time to respond to my texts (which. is the case for all of us we're all shit at responding) and just a general feeling of "what if they don't want me" and "what if i'm as bad as those people and I've been hurting them this entire time subconsciously and they just don't want to or are afraid to say anything"

my best friend hasn't said anything of the sort but i feel like he hates me or that I've hurt him even though he reassures me he loves me when i ask. we used to be very physically close and he'd let me just lean on him or hug him anytime i needed reassurance (i am Very touch-starved and physical touch is very reassuring for me, it's like. one of the biggest ways i show people i trust that i care for and trust them) but lately he just. hasn't? i tried to lean on his shoulder earlier tonight and he tensed up and flinched a little so i backed up and apologized and i just wish he'd tell me if i'm doing something wrong. we still hug each other when we see each other or say goodbye and shit but i just feel like I've done something bad? but no one is telling me anything??

i'm sorry if i didn't explain things well but i just. wish people would talk to me first instead of me always reaching out. sometimes i wish i'd get a "hey are you doing good?" or "i love you" without asking for reassurance because it always just feels forced then, even if it's not. i just don't know what to do and i'm scared of losing these people because they're the first healthy support system I've ever had and logically i know they care and they've said they care but sometimes it feels like i'm invisible. like i'm not even there.

i guess i just... am looking for reassurance that my brain's just being dumb? and maybe some advice on what to do and how to cope with this awful feeling

uhh for tagging you can use kestrel? if that's not taken by someone else

Hi Kestrel,

Seeking reassurance and validation is a natural aspect of friendships but sometimes the persistent urge can stem from something like a fear of abandonment. I think it can be easy to misinterpret silence or delays in response. As someone with BPD, it helps me to think that if someone has something to say, they can say it directly, and otherwise, I have no obligation to read into their behavior. If they struggle to communicate in a direct and mature way, then that's not your problem or responsibility to analyze. But it's definitely easier said than done.

If people reassure you that everything is good between you and them, then that's your answer, as much as it may feel like there's something deeper or left unsaid. Sometimes it can even help to just say "If I ever make you uncomfortable, please let me know. I want to make sure that I create an environment where you feel safe enough to communicate if I'm doing something wrong." That way you can explicitly open the door for them to make any comments, and potentially feel some relief when they have nothing to say.

It's hard to accept but some people will not communicate properly, and some people may even stop being friends with you without explaining why, but these experiences aren't inherently a reflection on you - it doesn't necessarily mean that you've done anything wrong. It can be needlessly exhausting emotionally and spiritually to constantly internalize these things.

I also think it's worth saying that, at least in my mind, true abusers don't take accountability for their behavior, but it sounds like you're pretty self-aware and mindful of how your actions may impact others. If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist could help you process these things further.

I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #kestrel #bpd

[boncorner]

HUMAN HERMES ADHD HEADCANONS

TYPE :

Hyperactive-Impulsive ADHD

DIAGNOSIS :

Has been diagnosed since early age, for all his father's flaws, he could tell this was one hyperactive child.

MEDICATION :

Has tried many different medications but decided on methylphenidate in the end, since the immediate effect worked best for his lifestyle.

THERAPY :

Has received therapy throughout his life and still sees a psychologist who specialises in the condition every now and then, but he often cancels on them since he feels like he's got no need for it anymore.

FIXATIONS :

Has more past interests than Aphrodite had lovers. Here's a list of things he's fallen in love with at some point then just kinda continued on enjoying but never really mastered because he found something new :

Biking | Gymnastics | Swimming | Dirt-Biking | Skateboarding | Rollerskating | Parkour | Streetdancing | Breakdancing | Cars | Motorcycles | Comics (specifically comic strips) | Quick live sketching

And a short list of things he never gets tired of ever because they're his eternal fixations :

Running | Animal care | Horseback Riding | Astrology | Gambling (more on that later)

STIMMING :

√ Body

Can't sit still, always on the go, drumming his fingers or hands against a surface or humming to a tune that isn't playing anywhere. He'll also occasionally make his own sound effects, like shwoop, clang, bang, pa-chah!

Mainly stims using his feet; tapping, kicking, switching weight from one foot to the other, jumping, rocking back and forth. He'll also play with his piercings, like the smiley right below his lip, or softly spinning his nose piercing while he's thinking.

√ Jewellery

Has jewellery that's subtly designed to work as stim-toys, like dangling earrings or chains with parts which you can spin or flick. At first he thought it a little overkill, but it really does help him focus on what he's doing when he's making a trade or studying somebody's pokerface.

√ Wings

If your human Hermes has wings a la reincarnation or some other fun flavour, he could also ruffle the feathers or stretch them subconsciously every now and again.

PROCESSING :

√ Thoughts

His mind runs faster than most people's do, and he can get frustrated when others aren't understanding what he's talking about, when he's really jumped ahead of the conversation by like 4 steps and the other doesn't even know what happened at step 2 or 3, or what topic they're on. It can almost feel like time travelling sometimes! Where most of what actually happened is still stuck in Hermes' head, and you just can't get him to share it because how do you not Know This already??

He's also prone to getting distracted mid-conversation and interrupt you with his own thoughts on something, or to throw something in that he Just thought about, which will later feed his RSD (see later)

√ Speech

If you speak too slowly or don't get to the point fast enough, you also risk causing him understimulation fatigue, and he'll get antsy and restless, or even bored and tired. More often than not he'll end up losing track of your conversation, start thinking about his own thing, then realise you're still talking and he has no idea what you're talking About and Oh No time to Bullshit his way outta this one!

That, or he's already started talking about something completely different out of nowhere like how water isn't actually wet or something.

The risk of speaking to him also of course comes with the risk of his brain just deciding to Not Process That Right Now, and he might have to act like he totally knew what you were saying but really it all sounded like complete gibberish.

Also sort of on the topic but needless to mention he speaks very quickly and will sometimes almost run the conversation all on his own, and occasionally stumbles on his words and has to let out a little Bluh while sticking out his tongue til he finds his words again.

✓ Sound

He's pretty good with sound and loves a good beat, and turning up the volume way high, but low repetitive noises are his enemy, and they will completely throw off his focus when he's trying to do something. The sound of a dog barking a bit away over and over every 3 minutes is driving him mad, and the soft ticking of a clock is throwing off his thoughts something insane. Talking in another room might make him unable to think clearly, and writing and listening at the same time is just Not happening.

√ Touch

He comes across as really inviting and friendly, but he doesn't like being touched unless it's on his conditions and his conditions alone. He can initiate hugs, but if you suddenly go for him without him being totally for it, he might panic like a bird being grabbed by a big hand. Just like with a bird, you need to show him what you're about to do next. He may seem hasty and wild, but he's really more delicate and alert.

Worth mentioning is also clothes, he loves loose fitting yet stylish outfits, and you can notice him fidget and twist when he's wearing things just a little too stiff or fancy.

√ Sight + Smells

He's fine with most lights and smells, save if he's overstimulated of course.

ADDICTION (TW: Drugs)

Addiction is a Problem when you have ADHD, especially when it turns out to be a way to self-medicate if you don't have the means to do so yourself. While he does have these means, he's slipped into gambling (slot machines, dice and cards are his favourites), mild drug use (pills mostly), smoking (with the help of Charon), as well as those damn energy drinks...

Auctions are also dangerous cough... And buying things you don't actually need. But the worst one is the rush of stealing. When he's feeling down or stresses about money, taking something valuable makes him feel more in control, giving him a rush and a spur of confidence. You'll sometimes find outfits in his wardrobe that just don't match his bank account...

RSD [Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria]

He may seem cool and aloof, but he overthinks everything you say about him. His family says he talks too much? Now he'll ask you if he should shut up, apologise for going on tangents, and stop himself in the middle of talking about something he loves because he caught himself talking "too much". You tell him one thing in the wrong tone of voice, and he'll laugh it off, then go home and spiral into the dark abyss of "I guess I'm an annoying piece of shit and they actually hate me haha". It also works against him that his impulsivity makes him blurt out things that he ends up regretting down the line.

#hermes #hades #hades game #hades supergiant #hermes hades #hermes (hades) #hades human au #art tag #bon ponders #adhd

[yesthatbigirl]

Zach with ADHD and he has played sports since he was young to get his energy out. The reason he was only looking forward to his sports scholarships, because his grades weren't the best, because he and his mom knew he had ADHD and didn't give him meds. She thought they weren't necessary but also didn't take him to behavioral therapy. In turn, he had to figure how to act and the heap of things that came with it. Like when he was younger he would stim but he would be looked at weird or be told not to, so he would mask it till he got home. He didn't tell many that he had it only Alex, Justin, and chloe. It also caused him to have some emotional issues, like not saying how he feels, being scared he will do something wrong, not wanting people to hate him so he hurts people on accident, and many more. He was also more sensitive, because of his RSD and, because of society he had to act tough. As he got older he started to find words to express how he feels and what happens too him. He found a lot of other people that are neurodivergent. The thing is when he got into a relationship with Alex he had a hard time because of having ADHD. He has a hard time expressing how he feels and he thinks if he does anything to upset him a little bit or if he does nothing wrong, he thinks Alex wants to break up with him. Eventually Zach breaks down about it too Alex and Alex understands and tries his best to make sure Zach knows he's loved and he's not going to leave him. Zach slowly starts believing Alex and they get even closer. Zach starts to find ways to help his ADHD and even start feeling comfortable stimming in public. One of Zach favorite smells is Alex's hair, weird right but cute to Alex and he just lets him smell his hair because it makes Zach happy. His favorite auditory stim is listening to songs on repeat for hours on end, when I mean hours like 4 to 5 hours maybe more and really likes songs he can stim too. Alex doesn't mind because loves seeing his boyfriend being himself and not having to wear a mask. Zach repeats phrases a lot, he once had a one that lasted for years, it just took breaks(I actually had a phrase like that). The phrase was 'what's new scooby doo' people were annoy by when he young but he usually did it anyway. Now he just repeats funny saying after they are said and Alex just laughs with Zach watching him repeat them because he finds it interesting how he process a joke. Zach's favorite texture is fluffy pillows and playing with Alex's hair. Alex just love getting his hair played with, it's very relaxing. Zach loves to lay on Alex's chest and listen to his heart. When Alex kisses him, Zach will ask for more and more till Alex has kissed all over his face and usually ends in making out for for hours as they hold each other. When Zach has a sensory overload Alex turns off the lights and will leave him too calm down and will run as fast as he can, when Zach wants to cuddle after. Zach's hyperfictions are marine biology, sports facts, random gay facts, and many more. He can just rant about fish for like an hour and switch the subject like that and talk about all the facts about Stone Wall. Alex listens intensely and commenting once and awhile to show that he is listening, reassuring him that he is not being annoying. Alex loves listening to Zach ramble, to see so him happy and so passionate about things. Alex does sometimes get hot headed but apologizes to Zach and tells that he is not mad at him, sovthat Zach's RSD isn't too effectived. Zach's favorite stims are shaking his hands, shaking both his legs very intensely, and when he listens to some songs he pops around too. Zach has come to terms with his ADHD and is so happy to have a supportive boyfriend. Alex loves his neurodivergent boyfriend and wouldn't change him for the world.

#zalex #alex x zach #zach x alex #zach dempsey #alex standall #13 reasons why #13rw #adhd #nerodivergent #adhd character #adhd Zach

[marshmallowprotection]

I rambled this out in the tags of my reblog of ur response to my... hm, "pink" ask, but i'll put it here anyways

I think ray and i are similar in the way of emotional sensitivity and people pleaser tendencies, albeit stemming from very different origins. For Ray, it's his traumas and the lifestyle and mindset he's been forced into. For me, it's the neurological disorder/learning difference I've had all my life, ADHD, and its accompanying RSD and anxiety.

One good thing about that bad friendship i got myself into was that i learned how to be a little more independent and how to overcome certain parts of my anxiety at times, as well as how to say no and to not give in so easily into the urge to just do whatever my friends ask.

So, I'm better than I was. But like I mentioned, its a little different when i dont know the person yet, and its especially different if theyre as sweet and kind as ray is. Honestly it gets me weak. I mean, even in the game, when i play AS (and his route) for the first time, i was very compliant to everything he said, especially since he seemed to have some confidence about him (i still cant tell if im just dumb or if he actually seems that way to others in the beginning). And thats not just cos i wanted to progress with the game; i chose the options i felt drawn to.

I'd have a hard time telling him no.

As for emotional sensitivity and RSD... itd be a loop i swear oh my days lol. He's always like "sorry sorry sorry pls dont hate me" and im sitting there like "same." If i was actually there id be like "no no never! Id never hate you i swear ur so freaking nice and sweet and fjbdjdbjd" and then like that very same day, say i shot him a text or two and he doesnt respond for like an hour. I get it. I know he's busy. I don't reach out further cos i dont wanna be annoying, i just wait. And wait. And tell myself he's busy. He doesn't hate me. He's just busy. ...did i say something wrong? Maybe i was confusing...? *proceeds to reread my texts like a million times, analyzing all the possible interpretations and probably scaring myself a couple times*

Finally a text comes in, or a chatroom with him opens up, and- here's where we differ. I keep those "what if he hates me" thoughts to myself. Instead its, "oh thank goodness lol i thought maybe i was being annoying or something or offended u or made u mad" (usually just one of those; which one i felt depends on the scenario) and even then it's only if an opportunity comes up. Sometimes i'll outright ask "was i being annoying? Sorry i know i can get out of hand sometimes" or say something like "just lemme know whenever im too overbearing or annoying or confusing or fast, etc". I tend to prefer to lean towards semi-subtle phrasing rather than outright asking.

But its like... "sorry sorry; are u mad?" "No!! No im not mad... but... i thought you'd be upset at me so I was afraid to face you... and then when you didnt text me i thought it even more..." "what??? No never! I didnt text u cos i thought u were mad!" Lmaooo

[417]

Yeah, I can totally relate to that internalized dialogue. So, it just seems that you can look at him and say same hat. I understand that feeling very well because I do it all the time too. Ray oftentimes gets overworked and overwhelmed by the thought that he's not doing enough, as a matter of fact, he's been told that he's not doing enough so he just thinks that constantly without anyone having to prompt him otherwise. A part of it might be a manipulation on his part but another part of it is genuine self-loathing. It is hard to say because he has moments where his genuine sincerity comes out and moments when his plans pop out. That's why I often tell people that he's a wolf in sheep's clothing. Yes, he is relatable in a sense but that doesn't mean that he is inherently good too.

His morality is a little skewed but you can't really blame him for it given how he was manipulated himself. It is a matter of getting to know him and helping him see that something is amiss that allows him to almost realize that it's not okay. It is just too easy to overanalyze and get overwhelmed by the smallest of details that may not mean anything. It's an unfortunate circumstance that many of us have to deal with.

He's definitely a lot to deal with, and you have to be on your toes and ready to deal with it. If you are not in the right headspace or you easily get overwhelmed by little comments that may not mean much, then it's probably going to be hard for you to deal with the situations that take place with him. Even I know that I would have some specific problems with it myself given he and I have so much in common. However, don't think that that counts you out or anything. You still have the capability to get through to him.

It just comes down to empathizing and reaching out to each other when things don't feel right. That is easier said than done though so yeah, it would be a little complicated. It'll turn into a game where you're reassuring him and he's reassuring you. Sometimes it's good if someone can understand you firsthand, because the thing you can help yourself in the process.

#mod kait #ask #417 anon

[dakotablackwood]

Deceit with ADHD 

Dunno if this has already been done, but uhhhh

Warnings: Panic Attack mention, Adhd rsd, Sensory overload mention, unhealthy stim (accidental self harm), totally not a vent haha-

Gestures with his hands because that's the only way he can let out energy without being suspicious

Doubts himself constantly

Every time Logan criticizes him, lies or not, he immediately assumes he's wrong

Rocks back and forth in his room when he feels a strong emotion, usually when he has his snake, Slytherin, out. 

When he stims, he does it secretly, when he is certain there's no one around

Chewy things!

Weighted blanket. If he doesn't have it, he can't sleep

He struggles remembering dates, so he has to write them down and repeat them over and over and over and over and-

Under stress, Deceit literally can't think. At all. Don't expect him to give an answer quickly

He fidgets with his hands. Also nail biting. He tries to hide it under his gloves

Dee's too scared of the others finding out and thinking he's lying, turning him away more

Remus is the only one who knows, and he conjures up random stim toys to slide under Deceit's door. He knows Dee doesn't like to talk about it, and doesn't push it

Sometimes, if he really tries not to stim in public, he'll twitch involuntarily 

Conversations around him can induce a severe panic attack/sensory overload if there are too many going on. Loud noises can make him lose the ability to think, which scares him into a panic attack. Remus usually senses it before it gets out of hand and guides him to his room, then turns on his oil diffuser

Dee can talk really fast, and he gets faster if he thinks he's being ignored or being annoying 

He loves telling stories and experiences, but often overshares with Remus, getting off topic so much that he forgets the question/point.

If he can't focus, or he can't do something (because of the ADHD),  he has a breakdown or gets really self conscious. No one has seen him like that except Remus, who simply gives him all the things he asks for/needs silently.

He can literally think about NOTHING

Flaps of excitement, hurt, or literally anything

He spaces out in conversations regularly, often having to assume or just deal with it afterwards. 

Hyperfixations are great for him, since he doesn't have much work to do in the mind palace. One time Dee tried stitching a snake, and he tried six times before scrapping it because he thought of a new idea. 

He does have a few chew necklaces and sensory toys, but no one has ever seen them, not even Remus

When he's hyperfixated on something, he'll talk about it a lot, smiling and flapping his gloved hands

When he's nervous, Deceit can and will hurt himself accidentally by rubbing his hands so roughly. Sometimes he also scratches himself. Remus tries to catch him as much as he can, and he's gotten much better at preventing it.

Honestly thinks that if someone gives any indication that they're annoyed by him, he feels like they hate him.

"Can't fail if you never tried :)"

#adhd #adhd rsd #deceit adhd #deceit sanders #sanders sides hc #sanders sides #sympathetic remus #sensory overload #sensory overstimulation #stimming