#do I really need medicine? <;' ( | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nerdgirlnarrates · 3 months

Text

Even though it's been months since I switched from neurosurgery to internal medicine, I still have a hard time not being angry about the training culture and particularly the sexism of neurosurgery. It wasn't the whole reason I switched, but truthfully it was a significant part of my decision.

I quickly got worn out by constantly being questioned over my family plans. Within minutes of meeting me, attendings and residents felt comfortable lecturing me on the difficulties of having children as a neurosurgeon. One attending even suggested I should ask my co-residents' permission before getting pregnant so as not to inconvenience them. I do not have children and have never indicated if I plan to have any. Truthfully, I do want children, but I would absolutely have foregone that to be a neurosurgeon. I wanted to be a neurosurgeon more than anything. But I was never asked: it was simply assumed that I would want to be a mother first. Purely because I'm a woman, my ambitions were constantly undermined, assumed to be lesser than those of my male peers. Women must want families, therefore women must be less committed. It was inconceivable that I might put my career first. It was impossible to disprove this assumption: what could I have done to demonstrate my commitment more than what I had already done by leading the interest group, taking a research year, doing a sub-I? My interest in neurosurgery would never be viewed the same way my male peers' was, no matter what I did. I would never be viewed as a neurosurgeon in the same way my male peers would be, because I, first and foremost, would be a mother. It turns out women don't even need to have children to be a mother: it is what you essentially are. You can't be allowed to pursue things that might interfere with your potential motherhood.

Furthermore, you are not trusted to know your own ambitions or what might interfere with your motherhood. I am an adult woman who has gone to medical school: I am well aware of what is required in reproduction, pregnancy, and residency, as much as one can be without experiencing it firsthand. And yet, it was always assumed that I had somehow shown up to a neurosurgery sub-I totally ignorant of the demands of the career and of pregnancy. I needed to be enlightened: always by men, often by childless men. Apparently, it was implausible that I could evaluate the situation on my own and come to a decision. I also couldn't be trusted to know what I wanted: if I said I wanted to be a neurosurgeon more than a mother, I was immediately reassured I could still have a family (an interesting flip from the dire warnings issued not five minutes earlier in the conversation). People could not understand my point, which was that I didn't care. I couldn't mean that, because women are fundamentally mothers. I needed to be guided back to my true role.

Because everyone was so confident in their sexist assumptions that I was less committed, I was not offered the same training, guidance, or opportunities as the men. I didn't have projects thrown my way, I didn't get check-ins or advice on my application process, I didn't get opportunities in the OR that my male peers got, I didn't get taught. I once went two whole days on my sub-I without anyone saying a word to me. I would come to work, avoid the senior resident I was warned hated trainees, figure out which OR to go to on my own, scrub in, watch a surgery in complete silence without even the opportunity to cut a knot, then move to the next surgery. How could I possibly become a surgeon in that environment? And this is all to say nothing of the rape jokes, the advice that the best way for a woman to match is to be as hot as possible, listening to my attending advise the male med students on how to get laid, etc.

At a certain point, it became clear it would be incredibly difficult for me to become a neurosurgeon. I wouldn't get research or leadership opportunities, I wouldn't get teaching or feedback, I wouldn't get mentorship, and I wouldn't get respect. I would have to fight tooth and nail for every single piece of my training, and the prospect was just exhausting. Especially when I also really enjoyed internal medicine, where absolutely none of this was happening and I even had attendings telling me I would be good at it (something that didn't happen in neurosurgery until I quit).

I've been told I should get over this, but I don't know how to. I don't know how to stop being mad about how thoroughly sidelined I was for being female. I don't know how to stop being bitter that my intelligence, commitment, and work ethic meant so much less because I'm a woman. I know I made the right decision to switch to internal medicine, and it probably would have been the right decision even if there weren't all these issues with the culture of neurosurgery, but I'm still so angry about how it happened.

#I would love to do something about this but I have no idea how to #even the faculty that I do really admire and respect seem entrenched in some of these attitudes #it's really hard to convince people that women aren't traitors in the making #simply because we might get pregnant one day and need time off #oh I also heard people shittalking a resident that was on maternity leave #and saying she wasn't serious about neurosurgery #so it's just inevitable #I'm not the only female student that feels this way btw #there's a reason no women have applied to nsgy from my school in years #sexism #neurosurgery #surgery #medicine #medical school #med school #med student #medblr #my content #my text posts

675 notes · View notes

nibbelraz · 3 months

Note

ive been thinking about the 'mqf finds out sqh is god' thing you said and honestly. i think the best way for it to happen is that someone completely random tells him like 'maybe you should ask sqh for a cure seeing as he made the plant to begin with'. everyone who knew kinda assumed he already did too. this is news to him. tf you mean the most pathetic little meow meow of a martial brother is god. horror violin chord. sqh is already running. adios compadre he knows that the difference between medicine and poison is the dose and believe you him he would make another cure if he could but even 'gods' gotta eat mu-shidi!!!

I AGREE Actually think everyone at An Ding Peak knows very well Shang Qinghua is a God either that he told them or they just worked with him long enough that they went "Hey he DEFINITELY isn't normal" which then spread around towards everyone else and somehow left poor Mu Qingfang out of the loop.

He's unfortunately god, and I don't blame him for what he's going to do to Shang Qinghua once he finds out.

#svsss #mu qingfang #shang qinghua #ask #scum villian self saving system #scum villain's self saving system #love the implication that shang qinghua actually was aware of whay type of medicines would be ACTUALLY useful #yet he went with papapa of course #“DID YOU EVEN HAVE A MEDICAL LICENSE” “Why do i need one if there's only one type of cure-”#this also implies that Qinghua has some god powers in this scenario meaning he really can make other cures and still doesnt #i love him #my art #nibbelraz

774 notes · View notes

moccasins · 11 days

Text

i realized i don't always have to use blog this for art..

so last night i had a dream where all the "godlike" aus, fanon or canon, were all created in a white void. the ones i could see were life, reaper, ink, error, dream, and nightmare. my dream was from the pov of error, but he didn't have his strings.

the dream started with them appearing in what looked like the anti-void, confused. none of the other aus were created yet, but us creators had made these gods to start the balance that would eventually form the aus. most of the ones there were excited at the idea, but error wasn't. he didn't know why he was there and what was happening, but as he watched from a few feet away he heard a voice calling to him from somewhere in the void. curious, he followed it.

after only a little bit of walking he met a figure, idk who it was, and they were the source of the voice. they told him that they could help him find his place among the other gods if they made a deal with him and, after a little bit of convincing, he agreed.

almost immediately some weird symbol was burned into his forehead and the sides of his eyes where his tear tracks would go, they kinda reminded me of a circuit board? or some kind of celtic symbol?? idk. he was on the ground in pain when the other gods found him. ink tried to figure out what was happening but error wouldn't respond, the voice in his head was so much louder now and he just wanted it to stop.

my dream ended with error touching the marks near his eyes and the strings came out of them and he, and all the other gods, were horrified.

15 notes · View notes

antique-symbolism · 3 months

Text

(11.28.23)

Living in a dying body,

Stranded on a dying world,

What shall the dying do?

Grind our bleach-white coral bones,

Drown in rising water, our limbs too weak to tread?

How about this instead?

On New Year's Eve, my father, a doctor of the weather said:

"I believe in the resilience of our atmosphere."

And thus began my year,

With a body set for ambush storms, and unprepared to take my cover,

Hopeful, kicking at the knees that wouldn't last the summer.

But if Dad can see the damning data and give us yet our chance,

Then I will face the fates that are written in my scans,

Feed the sturgeon lunch at the museum,

Bend slowly to the waterline and whisper this to them:

"I believe in our resilience, too."

#whether it's conservation or medicine I am interested primarily in resilience #prevention is great. love to prevent things.#but we are living on a world that already has a lot of scars. a lot of us are living in bodies that already have injuries and diseases #there are some disasters that are out of anyone's control right now (like the onset of autoimmune disorders)#and there are some disasters that are out of the hands of most people who care about preventing them (like climate change)#and so what i really need to know is:#what can we do when our bodies are already hurting? what can we do for environments that have already experienced destruction?#I don't know but all I know is that we can't do nothing #and I hope that I won't be the only one trying #i hope i live to see old age. i hope i live to see the cure for arthritis. i hope i live to see the coral reefs restored.#i can't do it all myself. but i have to do something.#my writing #my poetry

17 notes · View notes

astraltrickster · 9 months

Text

All right I need some good wishes.

Cat's back at the ER because while he stopped throwing up, he was still lethargic and disinterested in everything and just not acting like himself. X-rays confirmed he's got some kind of intestinal obstruction but didn't show what the obstruction was.

We think he ate thread, but there's not much that can be done until it's confirmed via either seeing it on imaging or seeing certain very specific signs associated with that particular kind of obstruction, which is hell on earth because long body obstructions are some of the most dangerous ones an animal can get BUT trying to remove something that may not even be there, well, that shit is dangerous on an already stressed body, so it's not a gamble anyone wants to take for very good reason, so it's all just a waiting game until whatever it is shows up more clearly, passes on its own, or gets worse.

So, please send him your best wishes...and, for that matter, this is all stupidly expensive so any purchases from my RedBubble shop are EXTREMELY appreciated right now.

#personal #animal illness #someone really needs to do an expose on the rising cost of emergency veterinary care #because while weve got family helping the best we can #for one it's a huge strain even so and for two the numbers just keep getting higher and higher with each animal emergency #it's actually obscene #for-profit medicine - be it for humans OR animals - needs to die and it needs to die like yesterday #hes under observation and getting images repeated...which is costing an arm and a leg #and i half wish i meant that literally i WOULD sell my actual fucking limbs before putting a dollar value on my cat's life

34 notes · View notes

reamed · 18 days

Text

ya know what I’m deciding not to give a shit if my job doesn’t like me missing work bcuz I’m in agonizing pain

#txt #it is what it is #fuck it we ball #like idk what else to do #and it really erks me that my boss thinks she has the right to tell me I need to go to the doctor #because bitch I’ve been all my life I’ve been misdiagnosed with stomach viruses utis and it’s never that #I’m not risking being misdiagnosed again. I’m waiting for my gyno appointment bcuz it has fucking everything to do with my period/reproduct #REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS #like hire more people if it’s such a loss when I’m gone ??????#don’t fucking text me telling me that “As a mom I’d tell my kid to go to the doctor😇 as if my parents aren’t fully aware of the pain I’m in #and have been fully aware since I was 10 years old #I know what’s going on bitch I don’t need to waste money at a walk in clinic for them to tell me I have a uti or my stomach is just hurting #u think jus fucking about with this shit. no I plan for this every month. usually it’s not terrible. this month has been hell #there’s nothing I can do to avoid it. I take meds and they barely do anything #i deserve to rest bcuz I’ve been busting my ass this year and last through this pain #i can afford to miss a few days off work. sorry yall can’t #I’m sorry for ranting this had jus been an issue my whole life. they used to grill me as a kid at school for missing #and it reminds me of that so much and it makes me feel like a child again #being told It’s JuSt period CrAmpS just TakE medicine #meanwhile I’m literally puking from pain #meanwhile my insides feel like they are blistering and on fire and my lower body is being yanked to the floor #ok sowwy I’m gonna go cry about it now

8 notes · View notes

invinciblerodent · 1 month

Text

I've been thinking a lot about magic healing today.

Like I can't stop thinking about how much truly incredible medical knowledge (specifically what we now think of as folk medicine, or like... battlefield surgery) is rendered pretty much completely obsolete by the existence of people who can mend bones with a thought. About how rare it must be for someone to actually know about how a body functions, when among most adventuring types, there's... actually little practical use for such knowledge, with little motivation beyond curiosity to figure it out.

Like of course, I'm sure there are many settings in which those with magical talent are few and far between. I'm sure there are low-magic settings where having access to magical healing is rare, and/or comes at a prohibitively high price for most commoners. But I can't help but think that... in worlds where healing spells and broad-spectrum healing potions are found in the stock of pretty much every merchant and every thug's inventory, ready to be looted, the work of midwives, village wise-women, herbalists, field medics, surgeons, and a thousand other professions is made pretty much completely irrelevant to so many people, simply because clerics, paladins, druids and such, are able to just.... wave a hand, and eradicate diseases, mend bones, transfuse blood, restore limbs, and sometimes even raise the dead.

Being medically knowledgeable on top of being magically adept would probably not only be rare as hell (hello, Halsin), it'd also take a lot of dedication, and a lot of respect for the body and the natural way of things that... I don't know how many even among the best magical healers would actually have.

I'd imagine that many who usually have steady access to a healer don't actually know jack shit about their own health, and... maybe even those who rely on magic to heal, don't actually know what they're doing all that often.

Idk. I'm just rotating this thought in my head today.

#squirrel plays bg3 #just sat in the bathtub with this #thinkin' 'bout stuff n things #mainly how I had this thought that... it's weird how infrequent it is to see healer characters who do like. actual research #or study concrete things beyond a nebulous “oh they look into the magic of this thing”#like it could be me just being submerged in only one specific thing rn #but halsin is the only one i can think of who is cited as doing literal biological research on the tadpoles #there's malus thorm who knows about non-magical medicine #but... priestess gut? magic. nettie? magic (though probably Halsin's student). auntie ethel? never intended to help #clerics and druids and paladins don't NEED to know shit about the body #idk what to make of this #same with Ghustil Strognoss and... i actually can't think of more healer-type characters #which feels weird i mean why would there be no healer living in the lower city #all we really know is that Karlach's parents died because they couldn't afford one 10+ years ago #anyway i have thoughts on my characters as well but I'll maybe rant more in a reblog

8 notes · View notes

shadovvheart · 1 month

Text

Yeah anyway. Doc suspects i have carpal tunnel after all. I'm not allowed to use pens for four weeks 🤷

#that's another month i can't work for #or do anything at all since I'll be wearing the wrist splint #I'd really hoped it would get resolved soon so that i could take commissions cus I'm running low atm 🫠#but now I need to spend even more on medicine and injections so fuck mee #let's just hope it won't come to surgery #vik.txt

8 notes · View notes

needylittlegirl · 3 months

Text

not tto brag but im the bravest person i know

#^ said through tears #the needle wasnt as bad as it looks but #the actual medicine Burns for a few mins #like you get 2 mins of oh that wasnt bad! before it starts Burning #you can feel it spreading #it feels like #you know when you touch something So hot it almost feels cold before your brain processes it?#thats what it feels like while it spreads #its like searing hot pain #it also feels like #hmm #like a razor blade #like if ur scoring bread before you bake it but the bread is my thigh #just a super thin sharp pain #like depending on where i do it i cant walk for a few mins without crying #cause any little muscle movement feels like my skin being ripped open <3 #and i have a really high pain tolerance luckily !! so i cant imagine how it’d feel if i didnt #sorry this got descriptive you guys dont need to know any of this #tbd

11 notes · View notes

demo-ness · 3 months

Text

i think this website may be allergic to the idea that most medications aren't for neurological stuff

#just saw a post that was an image with the text ''don't forget your meds!'' (this part is good)#next to the autism creature on top of a bottle labeled '''brain helpies'''#and i'm trying to parse my hatred in a way that spares the cringe. i am full of rage #but i will dabble in hating on the cringe a little. what medication is for the autism creature exactly??#i thought the ''brain helpies'' for autism were universally dangerous and/or scams sold to horrid parents #it's comorbid with adhd but jfc it is SOOOOO inconsequential to forget a stimulant for a day #even compared to other quality of life meds. i'd rather remember to take my thyroid medicine and not be lethargic #and then. do i need to get into my health anxiety. please fucking GOD do not forget something that keeps you healthy #forgetting a stimulant makes you less productive in a day #forgetting something like a cholesterol medication will SLOWLY KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#is it REALLY health anxiety to think one is more important than the other????#sorry i'm in a bad mood today. take your brain meds congrats on having a perfect body otherwise

8 notes · View notes

sunlightfeeling · 4 months

Text

needs medicine in order to help remember and keep track of things

routinely forgets to take medicine

#adhd #actually adhd #ramblin but not a gamblin man #adhd is…fun #like…its ridiculous how often i forget to take my medicine or vitamins #and i need to set reminders #but i always forget to set them unless i do it right away #which i really need to do more

11 notes · View notes

dahliadear · 7 months

Text

As I'm reading Dracula Daily I keep picturing Dr Seward as Harry Treadaway's Dr Frankenstein from Penny Dreadful. He just makes such a good soggy, insomniac, autistic Victorian doctor.