#did she need to post it? no but when youre a teenager who is presumably interested in the world and in sharing what you know

[readymades2002]

the way people go to bat for siken on this site is unreal

#i think responding to a teenager emailing you asking about your work with 'your email made me wish i'd died' is kind of evil #the things you say to teenagers stay with them and saying something like that is unbelievably cruel #especially for someone who is apparently a Great Writer though ive yet to see evidence of this #i understand wanting privacy but she emailed him just like. completely standard wikipedia article early life questions #she wasnt trying to be his friend or anything she certainly didnt bring up trauma like the mature tastemakers on tumbler dot net are saying #'people were harsh with me when i was a shitty teenager and it made me learn how to be better' telling a teenager #that them emailing you about an interview for a school paper made you wish a stroke had killed you is beyond harsh i think. a little #did she need to post it? no but when youre a teenager who is presumably interested in the world and in sharing what you know #with other people then this is a way to tell other people 'hey jsyk this author was a dickhead' #so they don't go through the same thing. like. im just #every day i see people on this site being so fucking weird about teenagers...

[hkblack]

On Crowley and Sweeney Todd

I made a joke about writing a dissertation in a Discord Server, so here’s almost 3k words on why it's so significant that Neil specifically calls out the song Epiphany, and vaguely hints at the "original" Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett. As someone who has worked on Sweeney in different capacities from both high school nerd to a professional context--this gets real fascinating.

I really break down the plot of both the “original” Sweeney Todd story and the Sondheim musical, because I know not everyone was an obsessed theater nerd as a teenager, and I want to make sure you all get the important bits of this other story that may or may not have been destroyed by a certain movie that we will not discuss. I’d apologize for making a long post, but welcome to Tumblr, twitter folks, let’s DO THIS.

Let's start with context.

The String of Pearls [Featuring SWEENEY TODD THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET] was a Penny Dreadful story from the 1850s written by ?? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (there's some guesses, but no one is 100% sure)

In it, Sweeney is a barber--what's important to note is that historically this is the time of the barber-surgeon. Victorian London was all about that one stop shop sort of life. Got a weird abscess you need checked out and also want a bit of a shave? Go to your local barber surgeon! He's got sharp things, makes sense to me! He and his neighbor, Mrs. Lovett, seem to run fully independent shops. She's got a thriving meat pie business; he's got a thriving barber business.

Cool.

The story itself is actually of a young sailor who has arrived at the city with a pearl necklace given to him by his mate who was all, "When next you go to London, give this to my lady love for me." Said mate is presumed dead at sea, because no one has heard from him for like a year. Johanna, the lady love, knows this sailor is coming--but he and the pearl necklace disappear before she sees him. She does some investigating, starts thinking there's something fishy going on with these Sweeney and Lovett characters and digs deeper. Surprise--human meat pies! Turns out her lover has been kept captive by Todd and Lovett in the crypts and tunnels that connect their shops and was forced to make pies. Bad guys get locked up (hung), good guys get married. And you, young Victorian Lad, are meeting with your mates after a day of work going "DID YOU CATCH LAST NIGHT’S GAME OF THRONES PENNY DREADFUL?"

This, you'll note, is vastly different from Sondheim's Sweeney Todd.

In Sondheim, Benjamin Barker is married to Lucy, and they've just had a bouncing bundle of joy, Johanna. The powerful Judge Turpin wants Lucy, but she's not interested, and Barker keeps going "back off my wife, bro" So Turpin uses his power, and gets Barker shipped to mfing Australia, and then does exactly what you'd expect a man in power do to vulnerable Victorian woman. Distraught, Lucy takes lye. Here's a moment of goodness for Turpin. He takes in Johanna, recognizing his own culpability here. Lucy meanwhile is left to live on the streets, half mad from brain damage. Years pass. Barker comes back with the alias of Sweeney Todd, set on, finding his wife and daughter, and possibly getting revenge on one person, and one person only.

Let's jump to Lovett. In Sondheim you have to really pay attention to the subtext to get her story. She's a widow. She knew Todd before he was shipped off. She desired Todd no differently than Turpin desired Lucy.While Turpin gets Johanna, Lovett gets Todd's old house. Her husband is dead (who knows how), and she's making do with her pie shop. When Todd walks in her door she recognizes him almost immediately. She tells him, sort of, that his wife is dead (at least when Todd goes: she's dead? she never corrects him). She tells him Turpin has his daughter. He wonders what to do, and Lovett comes up with a plan. The plot is this: take over the upstairs and turn it back into a barbershop, get a following with this new Sweeney Todd name, become the best barber in town, lure the judge in, murder the judge. Prosper! It's rough around the edges, but the man has just found out his wife is dead and his daughter has been raised by a predator. Cut him some slack.

They go out and Todd gets into a competition with a "traveling barber" who also is a dentist (barber-surgeon, remember?). Todd wins and tells everyone where to find him. This includes the Judge's lackey, the Beadle. Clever marketing, man, it'll kill ya.

And it almost does! Said traveling barber also recognizes Todd and goes to confront him at the shop. Typical blackmail shit. Angry that his plan may not be able to work, and it'll be because of this one person, Todd lashes out. For a show with a high body count, the murder of Pierelli is probably in the top three in terms of brutality. It's just lash out and murder--because you're depressed, and your wife is dead. He hides the body quickly and is discussing with Lovett what to do when the Judge comes knocking.

Thrilled that his plan has just jumped a few steps, Todd gets him in the chair, does some schmoozing, and is really taking his time to just--savor the moment of revenge.

Now let's pause and rewind. On the ship into London at the beginning of the show, there's a bright eyed bushy tailed kid who Todd meets. This same kid sees our dear Johanna (now a teenager, who is being lusted after by her creepy Judge guardian) and falls in love. Kids these days. He and Johanna decide to run off together, but he needs help.

So of course, this kid, this optimistic fool that Todd had to deal with the entire way into London, bursts in right as Todd prepares himself to make the killing blow. The Judge hears the plot to "steal" his Johanna, thinks Todd is in on it and therefore awful, shouts and leaves.

Now Todd could, in this moment, murder the boy too, but he doesn't. He sends him out--and then we get Epiphany.

In good stagings of Sweeney Todd, Todd is depressed, morose, and kind of quiet up until Epiphany. He's unsure, he just--look there's a lot going on, okay? A lot of folks would say in the beginning you get to see bits of Barker still around and see the man struggling to be this identity he's created to hide himself and maybe, even, protect himself. He doesn't come up with his own ideas (and even after this, he lets Lovett drive a lot). He's the kind of "moving through the motions" you would expect of a man whose been sent to a labor camp in the harsh climes of Australia and has just found out his wife is dead. Epiphany is when Todd really wakes up. He snarls and rages against the world. Epiphany brings back a refrain from the very first song. Bright-eyed bushy tailed sings about there being no place like London in that "wow isn't London grand!" way and Todd responds by saying London is a black pit full of people full of shit, only the vermin of the world inhabit London. This comes back in Epiphany. Instead of being intent on revenge on one person who caused direct harm, this is where Todd snaps and decides to say "eff it everyone in this hellhole is now responsible for my suffering" Benjamin Barker stayed put in his place. He followed the rules. And Judge Turpin put his foot in Barker's face, that man essentially died, and Todd rose from his ashes. Todd says that everyone deserves to die. He starts with saying “they all deserve to die”, then says “no we all deserve”. He says, “the lives of the wicked should be made brief” and that death "for the rest of us will be a relief, we all deserve to die.”

He has this brief moment of grieving his daughter in the song before suddenly shouting "Finished!" Here he starts to really address the audience, inviting imaginary people to his barber shop to die at his hand. He says, "I will have vengeance, I will have salvation!" and starts referring to himself as "Sweeney." It's quite interesting when you listen to it or watch the incredible George Hearn perform it because he breaks again near the end to grieve his wife. There are some people who say that Todd and Barker are two different men, like split personalities or Jekyll and Hyde, as opposed to Todd being Barker’s alias and alias alone. And when you listen to the music--Sondheim isn't telling you no. This grand beautiful sweeping symphony swells under Barker's grieving moments, before getting cut by Todd shouting out. And finally at the end of Epiphany you get this absolutely transcendent and awfully dissonant moment of Barker's sweeping symphony and Todd's unhinged noise as he sings "I'm alive at last, and I'm full of joy!"

And it's awful and immediately followed by one of the funniest and most recognizable songs--Have a Little Priest. In which, again, Lovett comes up with an idea of how to deal with Pirelli's body, and any of the other bodies that Todd might want to make available.

Epiphany could just be a vent song. "I'm going to kill all those miserable assholes who did this to me," says Todd. And Lovett could, in theory, go "A'ight. So, look, this is how we get you back into good graces with the judge, we can work with this!" because she does do that part. Getting the judge to come back has nothing to do with the murder of other people. She does not have to encourage the murder for "practice."

There's a dead man in the trunk in the room. How much more practice do you need to slice a throat with a sharp object as a barber-surgeon? We're good boo.

But she does. And she starts with a little priest. And that temptation, if you must, only works because of Todd's own rage fueled venting.

So. Okay. -deep breath-

Let's go back to Crowley and why this could be his favorite moment.

We know Crowley hated the 14th century. We know Crowley took credit for many of humanity's worst hits. We know he drank after finding out about the inquisition. TV!Crowley shows us a Crowley who takes a carpenter from Galilee and shows him the world, who frowns at the execution of someone whose crime was to tell people to be nice to each other. We see him grumpily get a drink after having to deal with Caligula. We see him offended at the very thought of being aligned with Nazis.

Gaiman has said that for all that "sauntering vaguely downwards" Crowley is probably not nearly as bad as Heaven thinks, but not nearly as "good" as he'd like to say out loud. But one thing Crowley in every universe agrees on is that the phrase "Hell is empty, and all the devils are here," is pretty damn close to accurate because Hell could never be as awful and as terrible as humans are to each other. And in that, Crowley perhaps agrees with the idea of there being a hole in the world like a great black pit filled with people full of shit. So perhaps that's a reason he likes this song. The human race is pretty miserable. I’ll just gesture at the news recently and you all can find your own reasons to agree. Perhaps in Crowley’s lowest moments, when an angel refuses to fraternize with him, when he has to do a particularly nasty job, when he’s alone on earth and shouting into the void, he agrees with some of what Todd says here. Humans are awful, and the world might be a better place without them.

BUT another reason Crowley might like this song could also be it's a perfect demonstration of humans being the key to their own fallibility in temptation. "I'm going to murder everyone" could just be a thing Sweeney says and does not do, if not for Lovett coming up with a way to one up her neighbor (who, it is implied earlier, is using stray cats to fill her meat pies). And even then—Todd could say “yeah, okay, calm down crazy. We’re not…eating people. I want revenge on this man who ruined my family, cannibalism is a whole other level. Where did you even get that idea? Who are you hanging out with? Why did you get my house? Wtf?” But he doesn’t. He goes with it. He easily falls into this temptation because he is blinded by rage and the need for revenge.

I like both of those reasons. They’re pretty good reasons. I could write fanfics for days with those two reasons.

But my favorite reason that Crowley likes Epiphany is that he probably finds some kind of ironic humor in Todd saying he'll have salvation by murdering people, because that's not how salvation works, buddy--and Crowley would know.

But what is salvation then? Living in miserable suffering, for a crime you didn't commit so that maybe, just maybe, if you bear it well enough, you'll get some kind of eternal reward, singing celestial harmonies? How do celestial harmonies solve the grief of a dead wife, a daughter he'll never be able to hold, the knowledge that a man ruined his entire life and got away with it?

Because here’s the thing, for Todd at least. What if, instead of relying on some omnipresent being who never answers Her telephone to give you salvation, you make your own salvation?

In Epiphany, Todd takes the concept of salvation in his hands and says, "I recognize that Heavenly Salvation is not achieved by murder, but given that celestial harmonies are stupid, I have elected to redefine salvation with my own terms."

Now, admittedly in the end, this goes south for Todd. HOWEVER, you can argue that part of the reason it does is because he is being actively lied to. He accidentally murders his Lucy, thinking her some obnoxious beggar woman. Some of this is because she is an obnoxious beggar woman. Lovett is constantly shoo'ing her off, seeming to be nervous any time the woman is around. When Lovett goes down below their building and finds Lucy's body and realizes what Todd has done, she panics, "Quickly now, into the oven with you" she says, dragging the body to the giant oven, dispensing with the usual process of meat grinding. Todd comes down and catches her, tells her to knock it off, still not realizing who Lucy is, Lovett tries to distract him, Todd goes to move Lucy's body, and then recognizes her. He loses it. Barker comes back, you might say, sobbing. Then we get the most brutal murder--Todd pretends to forgive Lovett who is insisting she loves him, always has, even before, and she'd make a better wife than Lucy ever was. He agrees, spinning her around and dancing before throwing her into the oven. Todd then dies by the hand of a young boy, Toby--formerly Pirelli's assistant, taken in by Lovett--who figured out the secret and went (rightfully) insane at the knowledge that he'd been helping turn humans into pies (and also had been eating those pies). Young Toby slits Todd's throat as the man grieves his wife. Many productions have Todd recognize Toby's presence and intentionally let it happen.

Because how can there ever be salvation for a man who ruined the very thing he proclaimed to love? By killing Lucy, he has become as wicked as Turpin.

SO.

When Neil makes references to the original Sweeney Todd, we're talking about a story that was made for shock value. How awful that those people ate pies made of human, how fantastically delightful that we have the ability to consume mass media for one of the first times, how good that the young couple lives happily ever after. What creative little bastards humans are for coming up with this story. Crowley’s got a lot to be excited about. Something entertaining for one. But also, mass media! Mass media talking about cannibalism. Some rich dude somewhere is going to wonder what human flesh tastes like thanks to this. Not Crowley’s scene, but if it gets a soul in on the books with his name attached, hey, gotta pay rent somehow, amirite? And that's all well and good.

But when Neil says Crowley likes Sondheim's Sweeney, and specifically Epiphany, we're talking about a moment where we see the ease at which humans fall into temptation, the horrors humans think of on their own, and the taking of Heavenly concepts and turning them entirely human.

And the beauty of redefining salvation in human terms (after you take out the murder) is that it gives Crowley permission to redefine salvation in his own terms too. Why can’t a demon have salvation, when the demon is the one who gets to define what salvation is? Crowley doesn’t need Her to make him an angel again, he doesn’t want Heaven, it’s boring and full of celestial harmonies. He’s been there.

But if Crowley gets to decide that salvation is the freedom to blast Queen while going 90mph in the middle of London with his favorite book hoarding angel by his side…

He doesn’t need someone else to give that to him.

And I think that that’s rather lovely.

#long post #good omens #sondheim #sweeney todd #good omens meta #oh crowley baby you have so many feelings #its gonna be okay

[dross-the-fish]

I saw your LO post and something stuck out to me. Most people focus on Hades as a love interest but you made the case that Persephone isn't wife material and I wondered if you could elaborate on that.

I presume you're talking about this post.

I stand by what I said.

This pink teenager isn't wife material, no adult over the age of 25 should look twice at her. This is because this character is functionally a child.

She's technically the physical equivalent of 19 but feels alarmingly younger than that because of her background and upbringing. Hades is supposedly in his 40's and has a full time job and his own assets. At my age and current life stage I'm actually a lot closer to where he's at than I am where she is and I cannot fathom what her appeal would be to anyone outside of her age group.

What is the allure? Is it the way adding her as a household driver would skyrocket someone's car insurance? Is it the way they'd pretty much be guaranteed to have to finish raising her? Instead of coming home after busting your ass at work and having another grown-up to talk to, you'd have to go through the emotional labor of having to play parent/teacher to this child who probably doesn't know how to write a resume and has never had to experience the mental, physical and financial burden of running a household. If you were to date someone like Persephone you'd have to be ok with never getting any kind of mental, emotional, or financial reciprocity because she's not equipped to function in an adult relationship as an equal partner.

That's a HUGE thing and when you get to be my age you will care about these things a lot more than you care about the frivolous "dating" elements that tend to be the focus of younger people's relationships.

Persephone would be incapable of relating to a character like Hades in any meaningful way and while it's cute, I guess, that she's "nice", nice isn't enough of a foundation to build a long term relationship. Due to her lack of age and experience she's not capable of giving advice or even actual comfort if someone had to come to her with typical adult concerns. At best she'd maybe be able to give empty sympathy and, I'll tell you right now, empty sympathy gets old fast.

A very long time ago I dated someone who was my age but at a totally different phase of life and it was a huge mistake. I'd try to talk to her about my job or an apartment I was considering renting and she'd just give me this glazed look like I was speaking another language. The only things I could talk to her about were media or college so when I needed to talk to another grown-up about the very real things I was going through (feelings of inadequacy at my job, concern over financial stability, finding affordable housing) I had NO ONE, because she had never had to worry about any of those things and couldn't comprehend how serious these concerns were. I think the last straw was when I wanted to go do something and she had to ask her parents for money and permission first.

We were both 22 and I had already had a job and my own car for 3 years and the idea of asking my parents for money or permission to do anything seemed ludicrous.

To be clear I don't blame her for that, everyone grows at a different rate and some people get to certain stages later than others, but it did really highlight that this wasn't a person I should continue to date and not someone I could ever feel like I was on equal footing with because she still lived and behaved like a teenager. We were the same age, but sometimes I felt like I was taking on a role that should have been filled by her parents and nothing kills a romantic mood like feeling like the only adult in the room is you.

So yeah, someone like Persephone shouldn't even be trying to start serious relationships, she should be learning how to navigate through life with her peers, people who are also still learning crucial life lessons. But that's not what's going to happen. There's something incredibly gross about the fact that the one who's going to have to teach her how to be a functional adult is the 40 year old man who's eventually going to marry her.

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 15, Part 1 (Lost and Found, Aka The One Where Rory Loses Dean's Shitty Bracelet)

It has been over two months since my last TWWGG post. What has been keeping me from moving on, you may ask? What is the immovable roadblock that keeps slowing my progress? What has kept me from my adoring public (about 5 readers) for two months? It starts with Lor and ends with Elai. We open with a scene of said Annoying Roadblock nursing her bandaged hand, an injury sustained while trying to clean her gutters. Rory suggests they should hire someone, but Lorelai scoffs at the expense. About 10 seconds earlier we learned she was itching to eat some pancakes, presumably at Luke's, a money-costing ritual she likely repeats at least twice a day or more every single day. But no money to hire someone to muck the gutters or squash her termites. Well, I guess I'll let her off on this one because she never pays Luke for her food anyway. Let it be known that my mind is a steel trap and there are certain things I never forget...and one thing I never forgot is Lorelai's reaction to the horrifying suggestion that Jess might come to her home and alleviate the burden of performing some manual labor that she clearly is unfit to do herself.

Portrait of TWWGG thinking. We first learned about Lorelai's gutter problems in A Tisket A Tasket where she was fixing on some some teenage boys to win her picnic basket so theyd take care of her gutters instead ("Cleaning her gutters" is not a sexual euphimism in this case, however it would be if it were Dean). Suffice it to say, that did not happen, so she bypassed several other options (Luke? Dean? Kirk?) and went direct to the do it yourself route.

Now what does Lorelai say a short time later in this episode when Luke offers up a teenage boy named Jess to slop the muck from her gutters?

This kid goes to school (...sometimes), works four jobs (Walmart, Diner, Gigolo, and Full Time Cutie Patooty) and he's not even good enough to slop her damn gutters. We will resume our regularly scheduled broadcast of Grown Woman Holds A Lifelong Grudge Against A 17 Year Old Boy Who Was Rude To Her Once in just a moment.

If only we were so lucky.

I looked up "is gangrene contagious" to see if there was any possiblity she could pass it on to Dean too.

Lorelai complains that Luke is missing and she'll have to endure Caesar's cooking today. Ouch. How about you be quiet and go home and make your own damn pancakes, woman. It's not rocket surgery.

Tryna get a break from you.

Bless Amy Sherman Palladino and all her creative ways of getting masturbation metaphors past the WB censors. “Looking for my supply ledger” sure Luke, sure. 👊 💧

Yes Luke, why DO you have a sock on your shoulder? WInk wink nudge nudge. This wasn't the only masturbation joke involving a sock on this show either. Lorelai What are you doing here? Luke: Just trying to crank one out into my sock here. Can I get a little privacy? Lorelai: Rory and I are starving. I need you to cook us breakfast. God, woman. How about a "pretty please"?

Let's play a game of "What Belongs to Luke and What Belongs To Jess?" Who owns the red heart boxer shorts? Random sombrero? Random alien mask? The game of Connect Four? The Connect Four must be Luke's because Jess has no friends to play board games with. According to Luke this is all of Jess' stuff Liz shipped over, but I somehow doubt Liz ever bought Jess this much stuff or actually cared enough about him to send it . I better send my son his beloved sombrero, said Liz never.

"I'll help you shower if you cook me pancakes" KITTEN SHIRT WOMAN HAS NO CHILL DAMN

Masturbation With Sock Quips on Gilmore GIrls: At Least Two Luke Says Jess Was in The Bathroom For Two Hours And Jess Claims He Was Just Doing His Hair Quips on Gilmore Girls: At Least Two Barely Disguised Masturbation Quips Of Any Variety In The Last 60 Seconds, Total: Two, three if you lump In Lorelai wanting to soap up Luke's hot naked body in exchange for pancakes You can get rid of his alien mask and Connect Four, all this poor boy wants is his own room with four walls and a door.

He knows, this is why the both of you are so cranky and sexually frustrated. Jess "huh"'s cutely and replies that he learns something new every day before walking out. To which Annoying Kitten Shirt Woman replies:

Shut up. I'm begging you. Please. I'll buy you a lifetime supply of Luke's pancakes if you shut up for two seconds. I will stuff your mouth so full of pancakes that all you can do is smile and nod and everyone will be happy. Luke tells Lorelai to go downstairs and wait for him to make the pancakes. She badgers him to tell her how long that wait will be.

Well, if you didn't come upstairs and interrupt the first time, maybe he'd be done by now. Now he's gotta get rid of you, keep you and the child out, get comfy, take his pants off, and start "looking for his ledger" all over again. Then he's gotta try thinking about naked Lorelai but all he hears in his dreams is her whining "make me pancakes" and he goes all limp and he's even more frustrated. And now he can't even find the bed and you took his damn accounting book and in my gritty Gilmore Girls reboot titled The Hollow I would make sure Luke gets some time to himself to jerk off once in a while because he works hard and he deserves it.

Luke To Lorelai After He Gives In to Her Pancake Demands: You sure you weren't pushed off your roof today? It was me, I was the pusher. I regret that I failed and she only got a cut on her hand.

LOL, you're asking what Jess is doing alone upstairs? Want him to spell it out for you with crayons or something? I guess two hours in the bathroom "fixing his hair" just wasn't enough for Jess. He's got a lot of pent up frustration, I get it. Strap in buddy, it's gonna get a lot worse.

You ever think of mindin your own bizzness, woman? #Never However her butting in is sensible enough this time and she explains to Luke that his father's office is too small for two people to be living in it, and that he should think about the fact that Jess lives there too. Right on. We know Luke has $$$$ because he's throwing loan offers at Lorelai like they're Halloween candy. Maybe he could even put Jess up in his own damn apartment, but he's too stingy and stubborn. Ah, Luke and Lorelai, two people who refuse to compromise on anything ever. A match made in heaven, truly. A marriage destined to work. KittenShirt makes a quip about how Jess could be dead under a pile of boxes and no one would know or until his rotting corpse started to smell. But enough about your fantasies, Lorelai. And now we circle back around to Luke offering Jess to Lorelai to clean her gutters to which she replies with a "Jess?" with that tone of thinly veiled disgust that Miss Gilmore is known across the land for. Almost in one breath, Luke admits he doesn't pay Jess enough to work for him AND he "hates the thought of what else he might do to get money if you don't give him the work" AND "You don't have to pay him as much as you would someone else, you save money, he keeps busy." Alright, enough. We're only 7 minutes in to this wretched episode, so let's run down the recap of just minutes 5-6: We've heard implications that: 1) Jess' uncle outright admits he doesn't pay him enough for spending most of his free time after school working for him 2) Even though his uncle doesn't pay him enough, if he takes another job doing grueling manual labor like cleaning gutters, they don't have to pay him enough either, it only matters that he "keeps busy". He's almost 18 with a driver's license, he's not a fourth grader with a lemonade stand. 3) No one would notice or care if Jess was dead until his corpse was rotting under a pile of boxes for weeks 4) the only way Jess knows how to make money is by doing illegal, unspecificed things. You just readily admitted you don't pay him enough to do work that's (borderline) legal anyway so who can blame him? 5) For some reason Lorelai doesn't think he's worthy enough to slop her gutters This is where my Gilmore Girls reboot would take a turn into horror movie territory, something like The Hollow: Mariano's Revenge. Jess goes on a killing rampage. (Rory is fine and a few other select people may be spared) Jess doesn't go to jail because the judge and jury won't convinct his innocent face and the jury understands the people of The Hollow deserved it. Rory and Jess can go on to build new lives somewhere else. A bulldozer comes through and razes the entire town. End of show. Lorelai stammers and sputters at the suggestion that Jess could clean her gutters and makes up excuses that she has other people lined up for the job and scurries out of the diner with Rory. Please, I must know the reason Jess can't clean your gutters or visit your home, it's unclear where her discomfort lies because it's nonsense. What, are you worried he's gonna steal something if he visits? What's he gonna take? The clown pillow? An box of off-brand poptarts? No, it wil just be some Quarter On A String that Dean gifted Rory and that she doesn't even care is missing.

Lorelai says a lot of things she doesn't mean. "I'll give Jess a chance", "I'll stop sleeping with Dean", "I won't keep spending our meager life savings on pancakes."

I continue to feel pity for Rory that she constantly has to defend him against this exhausting nonsense. What makes my blood pressure rise higher? Any interaction with Dean, or a long exchange between Rory and Lorelai where Lorelai is trying to explain to Rory that Jess makes her "uncomfortable"? And Rory has to convince Lorelai to give Jess a chance. Again. Honestly right now I would welcome Dean parachuting into the scene and starting some different bullshit as only he can. I hate this.

Idk about that, you seem to have an awful lot of opinions on Rory liking him too.

Only if he can call you "annoying emotionally stunted woman-child who doesn't mind her own business and has a one sided grudge with a child". I think that's only fair.

"Because I'm still 17 years old and can't move out and until then I'm stuck under the same roof as you listening to your bullshit unless TWWGG calls Child Protective Services in Connecticut and gets me put into a nice foster home with a new Mommy." Rory goes on to explain that Jess lives with Luke and they're going to have to see him every day if they want to keep eating the pancakes at the diner so it might behoove Lorelai to be nice to Jess. Which is the same exact sensible, ignored advice that Rory gave to Dean when she asked him why he hated Jess and he said "because he breathes". Which is that you can't hold grudges against people when you live in a small town. I'm sorry no one listens to you Rory. I'm listening. I'm sorry for how I used to talk about you. You are the only logical and reasonable humanoid in this wretched pod called Stars Hollow. I've said it before and I'll say it again because why not: Whenever Lorelai boycotts Luke's Diner because there's some kind of discomfort between them (which is frequently) Lorelai won't eat at any other restaurant so Rory starves. I'm getting CPS on the line right now, Rory. Hold tight. Rory explains to her mother that she and Jess are sorta-kinda-not that close friends, a horrifying prospect that shakes Lorelai to her core.

Look at this sleeping infant? How could you hate this angelbaby snugglekins. I would notice if you were pinned under an avalanche of boxes and I would get you out before you could perish. And I would pay you fair wages if you were in my employ. And you wouldn't have to do unspecifed llegal things on the mean streets of small town Connecticut to survive. I promise. We learn that Jess needs loud music to sleep, which I admit was a comment that went completely over my head for many years until I finally realized the implication of that statement. Either he needed music to drown out some awful thing that was happening to his mother or it was to drown out what was happening outside his home (street violence?) and most likely it was both. At the very least, I think it was a distraction so he could fall asleep without thinking about all the turmoil going on around him. Instead he's now suffering in a different, quieter kind of hell called Stars Hollow where some witchy bitchy woman named Lorelai and her small town minions have put a target on his back for no reason. Luke goes on a frustrated rant about the messy state of the Danes Mariano home, waking Baby from his sleep. I do delight in a good Frustrated Luke Danes rant. It's one of the few things keeping me sane while trying to get through the wretched hell that is the 2nd half of season 2. He tells Jess that tomorrow morning they're moving out and finding a new place (lies). Part 2 idk when. Maybe in another 2 months.

#denise rewatches gilmore girls #gilmore girls season 2 #Lost and Found #rory gilmore #lorelai gilmore #luke danes #literati #jess mariano #milo ventimiglia

[starry-skies-116]

ROTTMNT HEADCANONS BECAUSE I WATCHED AND LOVE THIS SHOW AND AM HYPERFIXATING AGGRESSIVELY ON IT NOW:

They keep the surnames of “Hamato” despite abandoning the strictly traditional practices of the Hamato clan whilst also taking more eclectic inspiration from their arts to their own.

They all brumate btw. Pry this from my cold dead hands. Every time brumation season comes, the Disaster Twins Inc. hog the couch.

Donnie, because he’s autistic and is a softshell turtle, has sensory issues and is very picky about what food he eats and which clothes he wears, as well as what surfaces he touches. He secretly has a casual list catalogued about what sensory things he loves versus what he hates, and there’s a small area in his lab that’s sensory heaven for him.

All the turtles have different eye colours. Leo has natural heterochromia, one eye being cobalt blue and another eye being bright amber. Post-movie Raph has heterochromia from being turned into a Krang zombie for a short amount of time- one eye is emerald green, and another is a bright magenta purple. Donnie has warm brown eyes, and Mikey has baby/cornflower blue-ish grey eyes. April has hazel green eyes.

Teenage Mutant Intersex Turtles, anyone?? They’re all different variations of intersex on the intersex spectrum. Leo was presumed to be a guy and does have some male traits, but is biologically female- he’s both intersex and a trans dude (and I’m all here for it).

Raph is an aroace bigender (both transfem and demiboy), Mikey is genderfluid and greyaroace pansexual and panromantic, Donnie is nonbinary, asexual and greyromantic biromantic, and Leo is FTM trans, demisexual and gay (did I mention they are all intersex).

Yes I do headcanon disaster twins, and that Donatello was taller than Leonardo when they were younger but Leo is 3 and a half minutes older than Donnie and takes every damn opportunity to brag about it.

“We need CaCa and Maggie~!” “JUST SAY CALCIUM AND MAGNESIUM GODDAMNIT-”

In the future, all of the turtles have cloaking brooches and stable jobs that earn them great income. They also have apartments close to the sewers that is their home.

Okay, we all know Donnie’s canonically autistic. But what if all the turtles are on differing parts of the spectrum. More at 5.

Donnie in addition to being autistic has insomnia, BPD and misophonia and does have sight issues and is prone to migraines due to staring at screens and not getting enough sleep, Raph has panic disorder, dyslexia, OSDD-1a and GAD, Leo has ADHD-I, autism, GAD and is bipolar, and Mikey has ADHD-HI, dyscalculia and autism. All of them have some form of PTSD post-movie.

Leo does know how to play chess please and thank you. He just does it for fun and doesn’t really practice.

Splinter has PTSD, is autistic and is bisexual (the most unrealistic thing is young Lou Jitsu/Hamato Yoshi in his 20’s NOT kissing men and enby hoes in addition to women). He’s not a bad father, he just passed some of that generational trauma of everything that’s happened to him, as well as his regrets and grief, down to his kids without even knowing and feels terrible about it once he realizes. He may have made so many mistakes as a father, but he deeply loves his sons beyond what they could ever comprehend, and he’d send anyone to the shadow realm if they laid a finger on his beloved turtle children.

Donnie and Leo (mostly Donnie) bite each other for no reason at all- not enough to hurt or draw blood, but enough for the bitten to yelp and want an apology from the one who did the biting.

April O’Neil is an also autistic lesbian polyamorous demigirl. She’s saving up enough money by working at The Foot shoestore partially for her top surgery. Sunita is her best friend soon-to-be girlfriend. They’re gay disasters your honor.

Cassandra Jones is MTF trans. Fight me on this one.

Sunita, despite being a teenage slime yokai, does celebrate and participate in Indian culture and does consider herself Indian (let me have my rep I’m starved of please). She’s also a lesbian demigirl, and is asexual and autistic. She also has the ability of superhuman bodily elasticity, even in human form (though it is restricted somewhat in human form). Sunita WILL call pilaf ‘biryani that needs therapy’ okay, she’ll fight you if you say they are the same thing.

Queerplatonic/non-romantic Apritello where they have a super close relationship greater than best friends but cringe at the idea of being in a romantic relationship together wya <3

April’s African American, we all know, but what about her being of Afro-Iranian Jewish descent and her mother’s Shakshuka and Latkes and Rugelach and Sufganiyot being her absolute favorite among all the stuff she makes. She gets MAJOR hyped by the time Hanukah comes around and tells the Turtle boys and Splinter about it.

And there’s more, but I’ll tell y’all about that later, or we’ll be here all day.

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise donnie #rise leo #rise raph #rise mikey #rise april #rise splinter #rise sunita #rise cassandra #LGBTQIA+ #queer #Yoshi Hamato #disaster twins

[slowlydifferentbluebird]

Hey Author! I've been reading your posts and I'm really enjoying your writing. I saw that you've been asking for some requests and I have one for you. Could I please get a headcanon on Vampire!Le Sserafim going out at a nightclub, looking for their next meal. They find you, the reader, with a rare blood type that's considered a delicacy in vampire culture. They decide to isolate you and trap you in an alleyway. It isn't until you say "You need to realize I'm not trapped here with you, you're trapped here with me" that they realize that their next meal turns out to be a vampire hunter.

Once again, please and thank you!

Le Sserafim headcanon - Vampire!AU - Vampire!Le Sserafim trapped by the Hunter!Reader

Requests are open

Hello! I'm loving this request, it's so specific and interesting to write. In addition i'm having a lot of fun with the AUs. I hope that the result satisfy you.

Vampire!Le Sserafim X GN!Hunter!Reader

Reader's Pov

Vampires, uh? Fascinating creatures. Some love them and some hate them. Some fear them and some cheer for them. But how much do we really know about them?

Little, to be honest. However the episode i'm about to tell you surely will help you to know them better.

You must know that Hybe, one of the most important company of the country is ruled by vampires, but they are not all the same. Oh no, it would be too easy. There are different clan.

The one I will talk about today is the latest, the new entry, the one composed by the youngest vampires, an in particular, all women.

But enough with the notions from school book. Let's get into the action.

That night you were definitely too well-dressed for your destination: a nightclub. To be precise one of the most famous of the city: the Sour Grapes.

Even before entering the club, you noticed something unusual. This pretty young girl was a few steps from the local and she was just minding her business.

But when you passed by her, she looked into your eyes and give you her biggest smile. It melted your heart. And then she started talking to you.

"Hello, who are you?" "Hi, lovely girl, I'm Y/N, and you?" "I'm Eunchae, nice to meet you! Are you going to the Sour Grapes?" "Yes, indeed, why?" "Oh, well, I was thinking that someone with such a beautiful suit shouldn't be lining up, would you like to enter through the staff entrance?"

You were surprised by the sweetness and confidence of this teenager, but you were also worried about another thing. "Yes, Eunchae, I would love, but are you not too much young to work in such a place?" "And are you not too much classy to visit such a place?".

"Touché" you thought. "However", she continued, "don't worry, I only work in kitchen. Now come with me!" Said that she grabbed your hands and she took by you in the alleway.

You two entered in the club and for just a moment you were displaced by the lights and sounds of the local. But with help of the little Chae, you overcomed them in no time.

After few minutes Eunchae started running towards a person, while calling her name, "KURA-CHAN!".

The person, that you presumed to be japanese by her nickname, hugged the younger one and then looked at you for seconds that seemed hours. She was not just looking at you, she was staring as she was judging you.

The moments ended because Eunchae introduced you and explained you that Sakura, her complete name, was the nightclub's manager.

"Oh, Eunchae, you did a great job! Such a beautiful person should be a guest of the Sour Grapes. Now leave this to me. And go talking to Chaewon, she needs to be...informed".

That’s when you knew the game had started

From there you said bye to the maknae and let Sakura show you her local: the tables, the pole dance poles and the bar.

Here she started talking to the bartender, "Yujin-ah, do you see this beautiful face? Well, tonight everything is on the house for this face. So, do your best to satisfy Y/N."

Yujin bowed to her superior, then started talking with you. "Hello gorgeous, what can I do for you?". You thought about it one second, maybe two, and with the utmost nonchalance, you said...

"A Bloody Mary". Yunjin looked at you with a giant smirk on her face. When you asked her about it, she only answered "Oh, I just found it funny, because it's my favorite cocktail".

She gave you the cocktail and then has shown you the way to the best spot to watch the pole dancers. But before you went, she said "If you need anything, just raise a hand and someone will come to you"

With the red liquid in your hand, you reached the spot Yunjin pointed to you. You sat on a comfy sofà and started chilling.

After few seconds a girl approached the pole and started looking at you. She was pale, beautiful and her facial features so delicate. You two didn't talk actually, but you did it with your eyes.

A man near the DJ announced with a micro "And now starts the show of Kazuha, the Japanese swan". And he was damn right. Her elegance on the pole was incredible. Sometimes it seemed to you the she almost floated.

You were mesmerized by her performance. You could have stay here for hours without stopping watching her, but someone interrupted you.

It was this man clearly drunk, more gel than hair and the shirt which was about to explode due to his belly. "Look at you, all alone in this dark place, do you need some company?"

You simply looked into his eyes and said "No, go away". You must have hurt his pride because his drunk face turned into an angry espression.

"How dare you tell me what to do? You'll pay for this, you stupid b-". His rant stopped because out of nowhere he collapsed. You thought he just passed out because he was drunk as hell.

Actually it was not the reason. In fact right behind the figure of the big man, there was a short girl with the bob haircut.

"Sorry for the inconvenience, I hope this asshole didn't bother you too much. I'm Chaewon, the head of the security, and I would like to give you my honest apologies".

So she was Chaewon. You told her that it was all good, but she insisted to help you to clean up. In fact the drunk man, falling on the floor, spilled part of his drink on you.

At the end you accepted, so she started to guide you towards the toilet. But you were not that stupid and you know perfectly that you were going to the opposite direction.

So when you ended up in the initial alleyway, you were not surprised. And you were not surprised neither by the fact that outside Kazuha, Sakura, Yunjin and Eunchae were waiting for you.

Chaewon, behind you, pushed you in the middle of the group. "It must be our lucky day, girls, such a rare bloody type is quite something to find", said Sakura.

"Even better if it comes to you on its own legs. Come on girls, let's start the meal". Finished Yunjin. All the girls let their sharp canines go out.

Tsk tsk. Young vampires...how boring. They are so predictable and ingenuos. You could simply take your silver gun and end them in few minutes, but why do not have a bit of fun?

At the first step they made towards you, you simply took off your coat. They freezed. "What is this smell? It's terrible. I can't breath." Said the maknae.

"Oh, this? This is pink garlic of Agrigento, Sicily. One of the best vampire repellent", you answered.

"Why did we not smell till now? Kazuha asked. "How did you know our identities?" was the question of Chaewon.

"Why? How? What? Oh, come on, girls, this is not school. I have rare blood type, as you said, so I live with a target on my back. Being prepared is the minimum".

The girls at that point were about to pass out. It was a matter of seconds. While the blacking out, the last thing they heard was your voice. "Thanks for the night, girls, I had fun. I have been your guest, so be mine for a bit. Goodnight".

#kpop #kpop girls #kpop headcanons #kpop reactions #kpop scenarios #le sserafim yunjin #le sserafim eunchae #le sserafim sakura #le sserafim chaewon #le sserafim #le sserafim kazuha #le sserafim headers #vampire #vampire au #kpop vampire au #chaewon izone #sakura izone

[weebsinstash]

Follow up from this post about The Silent Alpha because wow this is wild (also this posr is long as fuck because i basically just started retelling the plot because it's entirely drama now lol:

-Vanessa is one determined bitch, you have to give her that. She actually gets her hands on black market werewolf venom because Christian refuses to turn her and she's read becoming a werewolf can sometimes heal old injuries and she thinks it can give her her fertility back (also she fucked the guy who sold it to her for a discount)

-Vanessa um. Is actually kind of justified for being the way she is. It's revealed that her and Natalia's parents always heavily favored Natalia for being smarter and more talented to the point Vanessa was just openly insulted. Like it gives us some flashbacks and Vanessa goes to show her mom a good report card, mom throws it on the table "what, you want a medal? You should be making the honor roll every time just like your sister. I didn't leave my country for you to not take advantage of your education" but then Vanessa joins the cheer squad and her mother still has no time for her? Just always comparing her to Natalia? And then you know what happens? Vanessa, needing some praise and recognition, goes to a party and winds up getting roofied and raped by a college boy, and after her experience, which she never even told a single person about btw, it traumatized her and she became sexually promiscuous to "erase every single trace that he ever touched me. Sex became like a transaction to me. It's something i can use to my benefit" LIKE Y'ALL THAT'S LITERALLY TRAUMA? I can't exactly sitting here boiling with rage "oh wait youre telling me the big bad villain is a girl who was neglected in her childhood, raped as a teenager, shoved aside as a young adult, and then had her heart shattered as her love found another? Yeah no I actually want her to have something good come here way at this point" So I can 100% completely genuinely understand how Vanessa became this way.

-being hit with the venom, which was specifically supposed to be Alpha werewolf venom, sends her into a delirious coma (it's during this coma we see these glimpses into her past and it's kind of heartbreaking, it kind of just sounds like all she ever wanted was some recognition and praise) where she's fighting for her life for an undisclosed amount of time but it sounds like she's suffering really vivid out of body experiences of being stuck in pitch blackness and falling into water and. At the end of it all? She sees her wolf, a big beautiful strong wolf! Except the Moon Goddes appears and says PSYCH, bitch this WOULD HAVE been your wolf if you had trusted MY PLAN. I had a wolf and a mate who would have the patience and love for you all picked out and you ruined it girl!

-the moon goddess tells her straight up that, you know what, in fact I'm giving this Alpha wolf to your sister instead since you took her mate from her :) which uhhhh I feel like this raises some consent issues but maybe Natalia is going to ask Zane to turn her this time around and then she gets a wolf? But otherwise if Natalia just wakes up as a wolf someday I feel like that raises some red flags

-Vanessa wakes up and finds out Christian's Beta, Derek, is her mate now that she has a wolf. But he instantly pussies out and rejects her because she's the Luna and is already with Christian (even though Dereks wolf literally says outright 'but christian is just planning to replace her when he finds natalia, why dont we just take our mate? We literally dont even have to reject her dude' But Derek doesnt really want Vanessa after seeing what a snake she is). But like, was he supposed to be her mate the whole time? Why did they never feel the mate bond before? It's kind of a plothole

-Vanessa fucking JETS once Derek rejects her and leaves the room to speak with a nurse, who reveals, hey yo Vanessa is like magically healed and she's pregnant? (Presumably with the rogue werewolf's baby since Christian doesn't sleep with her anymore after finding out about Natalia being pregnant years ago) which btw means Vanessa doesn't even know she's pregnant either

-Derek goes to tell Christian that Vanessa is pregnant and Christiain outright tells Derek to kill Vanessa and the unborn pup "because Dakota is his only heir and Natalia is his true mate" like he's obsessed with getting Natalia back, meanwhile Natalia is rising Zane's dick and Dakota has started calling Zane his dad. Like Christian says straight up "get rid of that pup before Dakota and Natalia come back or so help me--"

-honestly? I feel bad for Vanessa. Yeah she did something really shittty and horrible but I understand it. Christian was actually a genuine source of support for her after a lifetime of being looked down on and she lost him to Natalia? I would kill myself. I find it kind of odd the moon goddess felt the need to say "oh, I had it all planned but you ruined it" like clearly it already wasn't working out? You literally mated Natalia with a piece of shit scumbag who wound up betraying her, was that part of the plan too? Like is the moon goddess implying Vanessa is responsible for Christian's actions and that this sort of scenario never would have happened without Vanessa? That Christian never wouod have cheated? That feels like bullshit and doesn't make Christian take accountability at all? And how long is Vanessa supposed to wait for her happiness, for this oh so sacred plan? She's a grown woman in her twenties, like how long is she supposed to wait. I find it a little um insulting and deflective that the story is framed as Vanessa getting her just desserts when it's like uh, actually she had a pretty valid reason for being bitter and a snake, she was literally put down her entire life. Like she's literally a product of her environment? Was it Vanessa's fault her mom treated her like shit and called her an idiot to her face? And really tbh, how good even is moon goddess' oh so beloved plan if you can. Knock it off track. Spoiler alert but if you can uh change your destiny it's not actually your destiny. So. Idk?

-I'm still real bitter about Vanessa actually. Moon G is like "I'm still going to give you a wolf tho, she isn't much but you can become strong together if you work hard" nd Vanessa's new wolf is like small and brown and pitiful and we don't even hear her speak or learn her name unlike the first wolf who literally spoke up and introduced herself, to be honest I'm not sure if the new brown wolf CAN speak? (Edit: Nevermind, its a plot point that humans cannot speak to their new wolves until they are marked which is lowkey really stupid tbh) And isn't it kind of a punishment for this innocent wolf spirit to be given to Vanessa? Unless the wolf spirit is also on some sort of probation? I actually read another story once where when a werewolf dies they burn the body so the wolf spirit can go back to the moon goddess and be reborn again so idk, maybe these are old spirits or something 🤔

-this is, like, a graphic sex audiobook by the way. They give you the whole menagerie of "cunt, pussy, pussy folds, wet hole, hard cock" there's a queef at one point that becomes a recurring joke, like, some of these stories have no erotic, some of them have tasteful erotic, and some of them get naaaaaaasty, like I think literally the whiplash between chapter 3 is Natalia leaving her pack heartbroken and chapter 4 immediately beginning with having Christian fucking Vanessa in graphic detail like it literally transitions from Natalia being betrayed and heartbroken to Christian nose deep in her sister

-backstabbing pussy Gamma Jordan is sent to find out where Natalia was living and gains the trust of her coworkers to get her number and warn her that Christian is going feral and is coming for her and Dakota, as well as Vanessa being infertile

-Christian contacts motherfucking WITCHES to track Dakota and Natalia down because he's too impatient to wait for Jordan. The witches perform a ritual with blood and Natalia's hairbrush and say the God of Chaos heard their plea and can find his family "for a hefty price"

"I can give you all the money you need"

"No, not money, blood"

"Whose?"

"Your mother's"

-I have to briefly go out of the order of events to bring up that like 10 chapters later, Christian does in fact kill his own mother and it's CHILLING. His mother, Kay, is genuinely scared and worried for him and asks him out for a run. They shift and are running and playing tag and he's remembering his childhood and he's legitimately fucking broken. He and his mother stop and she tells him she just wants to help, that hes sick, and it's emphasized that he's very meek and quiet while he asks "do you really think I'm sick mom ..?" Like he's actually considering some sort of help

Do you remember how before I mentioned that I felt bad for his wolf Jack. No. No. No. JACK IS THE TRUE VILLAIN OF THIS STORY. Christian is literally being held by his crying mother while Jack is going "KILL HER, SHE TOOK YOUR MATE, SHES A LIAR, KILL HER" and I can't remember if Jack takes over or not but, Christian kills his mother and takes her body back to the witches to perform the ritual and btw the main witch basically makes it obvious she's judging the fuck out of him, literally looking him up and down like "so you actually did it" like yeah girl he's clearly fucking crazy

-knowing Christian is coming after her actually gives Natalia the courage to fully devote herself to her own happiness and she tells Zane to mark her THAT NIGHT (which means a lot since she's been refusing to be marked up to this point because of the trauma of Christian. It caused her horrible pain to break the bond and her mark faded in 3 days, so she got legitimately depressed "those years of love and promises, gone in just 3 days. What did it even mean. What was it even for")

-theres a B plot about like Zane's pack and family and how his mother is still alive and there's gonna be a war because one of the werewolf kings is evil, Zane's dad Sebastian killed the wife of one of his enemies, Toren Ravenstone, his enemy responded by killing Zane's mom, who, resurrected while her body was being brought back to Ravenstone for unknown reasons besides "the moon goddess must have had a plan" and she lost her memory and fell in love with the guy trying to get revenge, so Zane finds out not only is his mom alive but is like married to the man who technically killed her, and also that "Mr big evil villain" is actually way nicer and more chill to his mom than his father ever was

-I literally never brought this up because i was waiting for it to like actually be important but ages ago Natalia's witch friend who helped her deliver Dakota was like "just trust me, I need you and Kota to get on a plane, you're in danger, just trust me" and Zane, Natalia, and Dakota were flown to California where Aurora, protagonist of the first book and the Ivory Queen of the werewolves lives. It's been like idk over 20, 30 chapters and we still don't know why Gwen said they needed to come "because i cant tell you yet, just trust me". Like it's keeping them safe from Christian but like we've spent a quarter of the book in this gd palace and we still don't know why, it feels very plot convenience-y, im getting annoyed because at this point Aurora from book 1 is becoming a weird plot device "oh how convenient the protagonist from the first book is our friend now and she's also super cool and powerful"

(Edit, it really still isn't relevant yet. Apparently there's a plot twist that Natalia may not be 100% human and have fae-enchanted blood that protects her species from vampires and guess what emergency Gwen needed them to evacuate for. Vampires. But up to the most current chapter, it doesn't really play any part of the story)

-so the b plot with Zane is a little complicated. He's an Alpha heir but his father is an asshole and cast him out, demoted him to Omega before making him a rogue, and Zane was replaced by another heir and halfsibling, Caine, who HATES him because Caine's mom, well, stereotypical evil slut who came onto Zane who turned her down and she accused him of rape which his father knew wasn't true but let him be punished for anyways. So. Caine finds out he has a brother and he's alive and then finds out it's Zane, the accused rapist, and also hey before even knowing this information, his mom told him straight up "hey, KILL Zane actually? He's after your title as future alpha, you have to secure the right you have earned"

-so, Dakota has a nightmare that is vaguely implied to maybe be a premonition (edit: yeah lmao its later revealed to be actual visions) of "mommy getting hurt by a bad wolf and there was red water all over her" and to console him they try to take him to the park to see the butterflies and GETS SHOT AT, by Caine, who MISSES ZANE because hes a fucking idiot firing a revolver from a moving car, and hits Natalia, which at this point I'm thinking "are they gonna have to turn her to save her life"

-yes and no. While she's in, you know the injury coma, that's when the moon goddess has a chat with her, gives her a wolf and stuff

-in this series, all werewolves have unique gifts, it's some real like MHA Quirk bullshit sometimes. Zane is a mindreader/empath who can share memories and actually like mindcontrol people into obeying him, and other people do things like, turn into sand, create hallucinations, create illusions that can fight, it can be kind of dumb lmao kinda just reminding me of the werewolf alpha Bakugou x Reader thing I wanna write lol

-Zane's wolf Grayson doesn't fuck around fighting with Caine (Natalia isnt turned until after the fight so he's worried she's dying and can feel that she is through the bond). "Take that revolver and let's play Russian Routlette" except, you know, not taking the gun from him, using the mind control powers to make him pull the trigger until Caine is dead

-Natalia loses consciousness and enters this kind of dream where she thinks she's dead and her exact reaction is to be sad she can't be with Zane and Dakota anymore but "she can rest knowing her son had a father that will raise him with love" like she loves both of them so much 🥺❤️ like she actually thinks of that and it brings her so much peace she basically accepts her death like I'm crying?? What the fuck??? She's falling through the same black nothingness, breaking away into blue skies, and then falling into water and having to swim to the surface and finding herself in the middle of the lake with a voice calling her to the shore. And guess what. This is the exact same fever dream Vanessa had when she turned

-yeah, Natalia meets a silver wolf who takes her to the moon goddess herself. She doesn't realize who she's talking to amd basically tells her straight up she doesn't believe in fate, she makes her own fate, and moon goddess kind of drags out actually introducing herself. All wolves, the ones werewolves have at least, are vessels filled with souls and love created by the moon goddess personally. She basically handcrafts every wolf and every mate to every person's destiny and Natalia's just like "why did you let Christian hurt me then, I loved him and trusted him, and I trusted YOU" and reads her for filth and asks why she can't just leave her alone

-honestly moon goddess kind of personally encapsulates the pompous holy figure attitude "I do the best I can" fake apology bullshit that makes religion really crawl under my skin. She says she can try and teach the wolves but humans have free will and she can't control everything but like... her apology, which isn't an apology, is more self pitying about how it hurts her as a mother to see wolves suffer. She picked Natalia for Jack because she thought it would balance Jack's temper out (oh so Natalia has to be sacrificed to fix Jack's fucking problems???) but also she KNEW Christian was flawed and hoped he would change, and she also expected Jack to help protect the mate bond which he didn't, so im just sitting here like, why would you even create this sort of mate bond system if it is so flawed and easy to go wrong. Why are you dragging HUMANS into this if you're supposed to be the werewolves god.

-also it should be noted that she is apparently specifically the moon goddess from Greek mythology because they later bring up the goddess of night being her mother, and also the God of chaos and, basically there are multiple gods

Like ok. Look at it this way. Moon Goddess is kind of playing matchmaker but she doesn't know the eventual outcome. But she's also. Implementing soul magic bullshit which can literally manipulate your thoughts and feelings and then saying "oh but I can't keep things from going wrong, I can ONLY SLIGHTLY ROB YOU OF FREE WILL" like, you're basically kidnapping and brainwashing people and playing sanctimonious about it??? You're kind of forcing people to fall in love and then saying "oh sorry I made it where you literally feel like incredible lightning when you touch and even looking at him makes your brain mass produce dopamine but he turned out to be an abusive prick who never respected you, lmao my bad, let me give you another attempt at a mate as my apology" like no leave me alone actually? You're creepy? The mate bond has HORROR MOVIE potential???

-apparently there's a mandatory dress code in this magical dream world, which I'm theorizing is the moon goddess' realm, because both Vanessa and Natalia find themselves wearing white dresses in these dreams, and in book 1 Aurora had dreams where she entered a realm and wore white dresses but I can't go into that without spoiling some of book 1 💀

-after Natalia wakes up and spills what the MG told her, and mentions that the moon goddess mentioned her wolf was blessed by the goddess of night, the moon goddess' mother, and, Aurora investigates and goes to get Gwen who would know more about rhe Night Mother and, apparently Natalia is probably something called a Latum human, which is a human with special blood that was once enchanted by a fae to protect his human lover from vampires drinking their blood and basically created a new race of demihumans and Natalia is just now finding out she's not 100% "home grown organic human" and that even her wolf is unusual

-GIIIIIRL Natalia's wolf is a SLUT but like we get it. Her and Zane are marking each other because the b plot about Zanes old pack means he kinda lowkey has to go to war, and her wolf, Davina, is talking to Grayson, and he's all tongue-tied, and she says "do you not like my mark?"

"Well, y-yeah"

"Then why aren't I cumming yet?" And "This clit isn't going to lick itself" GIIIIRRRLLLLLL

-so anyways, Christian brings the now dead Kay back to the witches, his father is blowing up his phone because he "can't feel his mate" and can't find her and he's freaking out, he has no idea she's dead, and Christian is just emotionless like "wow I can't believe I did that. At least I get Natalia and Dakota back" meanwhile Jack has absolutely no remorse. So the witches complete the ritual and summons the God of Chaos, because, apparently, Kay's blood wasn't for the job itself, it was just to summon the God who will help, who communicates by possessing one of the witches

-the chaos God is a troll and is totally off their rocker. He's gonna help Christian but there's a new price now to actually DO the thing, and Chaos asks "what are you willing to give". Jack speaks up from inside of Christian and says "ANYTHING"

-MOTHERFUCKING CHAOS, this goddamn TROLL, takes JACK HIMSELF, PUTS HIM IN A MAGIC ROCK LIKE A POKEMON. Tells Christian "I took your wolf, bring your son and the medallion he will be wearing back to me by midnight or you'll NEVER get him back" and gives Christian the Jack-rock to hold onto. But also lmao, guess how he helps Christian find Natalia and Dakota. Touches his forehead and bro starts hearing VOICES who start trolling him but also telling him directions like they're basically like "turn right, MOMMYKILLER. You MOMMYKILLER, NEENER NEENER" like lmao they actually start driving him insane

-I shit you not, I shit you not, Christian is occasionally hallucinating because of the voices and looks at this hallucination of Dakota and Natalia that suddenly manifested in the backseat of his car and fake-Nat is cryiny and he thinks "for once I actually want to comfort her" bitch, what do you MEAN 'for ONCE'???? SO YOU BASICALLY DIDNT EVEN LIKE HER THAT MUCH ANYWAYS???? EVEN BEFORE SHE COULDNT CONCEIVE????

With every passing chapter that reveals what an even bigger piece of shit Christian is, I can't help but wonder how the moon goddess could have fucked up THIS badly, like now that Natalia is gone he is obsessed but even when reflecting on the past he acknowledges that he was basically ALWAYS a bastard to her.

-fucking loser ass Christian does all this shit to get his family back and you know what happens? He kidnaps Dakota from a play center and he doesn't even have a car seat for him, so he's laying Kota flat in the seat and buckling him in while the voices are literally jeering "child endangerment! We've got father of the year over here!" Which, agreed! You can kill your own mom but not get your toddler a car seat? idiot!!

-Christian takes the medallion back to Chaos and oh my god this guy's hilarious. He's like "oh yeah, to get your wolf back, just smahs the rock he's contained in and call out to him" and Christian is just like "wait do you mean I could have gotten him back at any time" and Chaos is like "LOL YEAH I WAS JUST FUCKING WITH YOU" LMAOOOOOO

-oh my god. Oh my gosh. I never saw this twist coming and its actually SO GOOD. Actually kind of scary too. Christian is calling out to Jack, and he just hears growling and laughing? And then??? JACK TAKES FULL CONTROL. CHRISTIAN GETS ACTUALLY FUCKING BODY SNATCHED, HIS SUBCONCIOUS THROWN INTO A MENTAL CAGE, AND JACK SAYS HE IS NEVER LETTING HIM OUT EVER AGAIN. Christian LITERALLY cannot do anything anymore, it's all Jack, in full control, and now that he has Dakota, he's coming for his Natalia, his mate, his Tiny

And that's kind of where the story is so far, with the side character who was babysitting Dakota, Agnes, being unconscious because Christian roofied her and is unable to tell Natalia that Dakota has been taken, meanwhile Zane is literally on an island in Ravenstone territory fighting CHEMICAL WARFARE with his father's pack. Definitely a nail biting cliffhanger and I hope there aren't too many more chapters to go 😩

#weebreviews #villain had me cheering and pumping my fist while also going oh shit this is absolutely the worst possible scenario lmao #weebwolves

[gisellelx]

Twilight Advent, Day 17

Masterpost/prompts

Dec. 17 - How does Sue support Leah and Seth's new reality as shifters? Any changes in their home routine?

So today I'm going to hold the contrarian of headcanons (I usually don't read the tag before I post but tonight I did) and say...

Sue? Clearwater? Widow of Harry? Tribal elder? Who presumably eventually married Charlie Swan?

She changed nothing.

I have a firm headcanon that all this crazy nonsense love-triangle-he's sparkly-he's-furry-I-should-have-bloodlust-but-I-don't-oops-miracle--one-month-baby-your-pack-my-pack-Black-pack-blue-pack is firmly a teenager thing. The parents in this saga? Carlisle, Esme, Charlie, Billy, Sue?

They are largely unfazed, pun intended.

Sue Clearwater is not having it. Not after losing her husband; not after becoming a tribal elder; not after the fraught half year that was realizing that hey, her husband's friend really is kind of okay.

She supported Seth and Leah by continuing to be their mom. By continuing to be a place where the expectations were the same, where the shifter thing was not that much different than when Leah started needing menstrual products. Okay, your body changed. Fair enough, we deal. Your homework is still due. You still have chores. Talk back to me and you're going to get to see what life was like before the PS3 was invented.

This headcanon is brought to you mostly by the idea that if you think of who Renee was, and how sad Charlie was about losing her, it only makes sense that if he were to fall in love again, it would be with someone so incredibly different that he'd be willing to risk it. So instead of a woman who is so into flights of fancy that she's pretty much willing to go off on any absurd notion, he instead settles down with a woman whose take on the world is, "Vampires? Werewolves? Yep. Real. But that werewolf? He's fifteen and he needs to be home by nine."

#twilightadvent22 #sue clearwater #I was gonna add a teaser from One Day #but this post feels long enough

[fluffykitteninabox]

¿What are your thoughts on the controversial Hagakure cover?

Hi cute question mark anon ✨✨✨

I don't think this is a separate issue from how Horikoshi handles his female characters in general so I'm going to talk more generally rant a bit (oops sorry)

also one reason this took so long is that I decided to join in the trend and gave the poor girl some clothes:

The sexualisation of female characters in anime and manga is a big issue, especially when a big portion of them are underage (shonen is the most popular genre after all).

In my hero academia we see this with basically every single female character Horikoshi creates.

Momo, Hagakure, Himiko and Midnight all have "excuses" by the story to get naked on screen regularly. Supposedly it's because of their quirks, however there's plenty of male characters who's clothes don't get destroyed in every fight they're in, even if it would logically make sense for that to happen.

Male characters get to keep their dignity, but females don't get that same privilege.

The only male character that we see get fully naked because of their quirk is Mirio, but that's only one instance, and in every scene after that we get the explanation that he got a special costume made from his hair. If that's an option for him, why isn't it for Hagakure? Why does she have to run around naked in battle? Why do we need "jokes" about others accidentally touching her boobs because they didn't see her? We don't need that, she's a teenager!

Then there's Momo's design which is not only disgusting, but also doesn't make logical sense either. Supposedly the opening at the front is for practicality.

She "needs" to have big areas of skin open to make bigger objects.

Except that's a lie. We never really see her use the boob window for that. She mostly uses her arms to make things. And the biggest space she could have open for big objects is her back. And we actually see her use her back (and destroying her clothes in the process because of course she did!)

Most of the time when a female character is naked she gets objectified by the narrative and/or the framing/camera movement in a scene, while when a male character is naked it works as a form of fantasy fulfillment for the male target audience. I think this is part of "the male gaze" and not separate from it.

Here's a great video about this topic.

There's also the issue of Mineta's entire existence!

Mineta is the other reason I took so long to answer, because I went on tangent about how the concept for his character could have worked, and how I would have fixed it. But I realised this doesn't fit here so I took it out. (I might make a separate post about this)

This character (that Horikoshi has apparently admitted is a form of self insert) exists purely to objectify every single female character that's on screen. Every scene he's in, every line of dialogue he has adds no value to the story. He's supposedly there for comic relief, but most normal people don't find blatant sexism funny.

Some might say "oh but he gets punished for it. it's supposed to show how bad that is". Well yes but actually no. Mineta gets punished for his behaviour, but the viewers still get to see naked underage anime girls on screen. It's not a subversion of the trope if you're still doing the trope.

and Mineta's "jokes" get progressively worse as time goes on, which to me shows that this really isn't about the subversion of tropes/meta humour. It's just an excuse to sexualise female characters.

Thankfully this has seemingly stopped now (after the awful "joke" with Eri) presumably because Hori got backlash for it. He should have been getting backlash from the start but better late than never I suppose.

However Horikoshi hasn't (as far as I know) officially apologised for this. Even if he did stop inserting such jokes into the story, he clearly continued sexualising his female characters behind closed doors.

The Hagakure colour page is the culmination of all of those previous instances.

Horikoshi was able to freely sexualise underage female characters in his series time and time again with little to no backlash, because this type of thing is normalised in anime. So it makes sense that as this went on and he saw how much he was able to get away with, he kept doing it.

The page is truly disgusting to look at. Besides being completely naked there's also the pose itself, the weird barely there censors in the form of "keep out" tape of all things, but also something that I haven't seen anyone else talk about.

Her hand placement always felt weird to me. Even if she was wearing clothes, showing her hands in between her legs like that looks overtly sexual. It also creates this strong "V" shape, that deliberately directs the viewer's eyes downward towards that area instead of directing them up towards her face. (That's why I changed her hands to rest on top of her legs in my redraw)

Horikoshi is a professional artist, he knows what he's doing and he is known for his really intresting character designs. In this colour page, Hagakure is a sexual object first and a character second.

This is why Horikoshi's statement of "wanting to test her colour scheme" rings hollow to me. When you want to test what colours go well on a character you draw multiple versions of them and you basically play dress up by putting them in different outfits and changing the colours around. If he wanted to just test her hair and eyes, he could have just done a portrait from the neck and up.

The way I see it, this is clearly just a poor excuse to avoid responsibility.

The issue isn't just Horikoshi himself, it's about how the sexualisation of women (underage or not) in anime is so normalised that it is presented as "part of the culture", and if you complain about it people will tell that "this is just how anime/Japan is" and that "you should just accept it"

If "part of a culture" promotes sexism then this is an objectively bad thing and said culture SHOULD be changed.

#mha #toru hagakure #kohei horikoshi #ask #krista answers #cute question mark anon #thank you for the ask #have some sparkles ✨✨✨ #krista's art #my art

[lightlycareless]

hi! i hope ure doing a little bit better. take all the time u need! here's an hc i have

https://youtu.be/wOEKdWrtz6U

THIS but satoru and hinata when they were 2nd years, they just did this for fun. since canonically satoru can do everything he puts his mind into, wouldn't be surprised if it was the same for hinata

UGH i can't help but think it's THEM

+ adding to the yt link post w virtuemoir, you might think it's unlikely since they didn't really love each other like genuinely genuinely, but still i like to believe the attraction was there

Heya anon!

Thank you so much for your lovely ask and checking in on me 🥺❤️I'm doing much better now, now that the small depressive episode is done and I'm back to writing :>

I apologize for taking a while to respond, but do not be fooled... this never left my mind (I also combined the two asks so they wouldn't be separate :>)—more so because the second season of jujutsu made me wonder just how involved Hinata would've been when everything went down!!

But going back to this video—yes!! I think Hinata and Satoru would've done, even with their differences, everything together at one point, and excel at it too.

Knowing how everything comes easy to him Hinata would've made it work, mostly because out of spite haha. She couldn't allow Satoru to be that good, she had to be in his level or near him (She wanted to save herself the incessant teasing from his part) while Satoru would come up with the craziest ideas to find a "weakness" for him to exploit/humiliate, only for him to be rightfully contested when she wouldn't relent.

However, the more they spent time together, the more they realized they genuinely liked being with one another, at one point Satoru offered to teach her whatever she needed—with Hinata willingly accepting to be his student.

I do feel they were attracted to one another, if not started to be attracted, during this time. I mean, they were teenagers, very hormonal, and have been in each other's life since forever 😂 it just started to happen, so... why not?

Hinata would be the first to find the other attractive, however, Satoru would be the first one to conclude that "maybe spending the rest of my life with her isn't as bad"

Of course these sentiments were nothing but a step they needed to take in order to know themselves and what they wanted in life, (like their first time together lol idk if writing it would be morbid but let's be real after all the shit I've done.... do I have any excuse? 😂) eventually coming to the realization that what they wanted the most out of the other was friendship—The reassurance that no matter what happened they would still be there for one another.

Presumably around the time where Satoru met Suguru. They just had a whole new level of chemistry, and Hinata was all in for it.

After Hinata called off the engagement I could totally see Satoru telling her something like:

"If we're still single at 30 we could marry each other and have some kids or something" to which she would only roll her eyes and dismiss as him being his usual silly self—at least outwardly, because Hinata wouldn't deny that the idea of settling down with someone she already knows is nice.

I mean, let's not forget how her dating endeavors had been going—she hates it lol. And I can't blame her, the dating scene is... oof. So why waste her time meeting people that just don't get her, seemingly don't have any ambitions, don't share her work ethics and whatnot, when she could could just rely on Satoru?

And if the pressure from the elders towards Satoru grows too "annoying" for him to keep ignoring, or who knows, maybe he finally decides he do wants to settle down, he could rely on her as well.

It sounds awful when put that way lol, but I think these things serve to show just how intertwined Satoru and Hinata were, something that only people who have known each other for a very long time, and learned to trust one another completely, could do.

Satoru cherishes Ren, Hinata, and Y/N a lot, and so do they. There's nothing they wouldn't do for one another, and that's something I intend to show deeper into the story :>

Once again, thank you so much for sending in this ask! Now I want to write in what Hinata's, Ren's and Y'N's reaction would've been to the whole thing that went down on season 2 😭 (who am I kidding, that's totally gonna happen)

If there's anything else you'd like to know about their relationship, or just share with me, my ask box is always open 🤭❤️

Thank you so much, I hope you have a wonderful weekend, and see you around!!

#ask #ask series: first it hurts— #first it hurts—: hinata #first it hurts—: satoru #gojo satoru x oc #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo x you #gojo x reader #satoru gojo x y/n

[blacklight-ghoulette]

alright so i'm seriously in the dark, what happened?

it'll be easiest for me to quote the reddit posts I read on it.

Going under a cut due to length so I don't kill anyone with a wall of text.

From u/awkwardtiefling:

"For those who make it to this thread first, a summary:

Per(lead guitar aka Fire/Dew) is connected in some way with a model named Paris. Paris supported Trump and has posted culturally insensitive content in the past, i.e. a bellydancer looking costume tagged as "g*psy" amongst other typically associated ones, and posted a photo on Thanksgiving while wearing a stereotypical Halloween store style Native American costume, war bonnet included.

They were also upset that she had a weird phase with King Tut and were unhappy that she was "sexualizing a child." He died at 19 so that's not really the issue. Just seemed like a weird and ultimately harmless phase.

From there, they assumed they may have been dating and got very, very upset. She's in a long term relationship with Don McLean of American Pie fame and I believe he's also in a relationship with someone as well? But they've dug through old photos to jump to conclusions and presumably harassed Per off IG with shitty messages, which is unfortunate because now he's being called childish for completely stepping away and removing himself from the issue. Paris is still being hounded as being racist and dangerous(because she supported Trump and obviously hates all LGBTQ+ people).

He's going to care more for her even if she's not squeaky clean than what some deranged kiddos on Twitter think about her. Sucks for him and the rest of the group, though. I have no doubt they'd start pestering the rest them about this.

edit:

Since I know they're poking around Reddit, it's one thing to point out the issues with a person and it's another entirely to harass someone off the internet because of who they're associated with. Some of you certainly did just that and need to accept that some of you needled him into reacting the way he did. Per is likely fully aware and just happens to be able to overlook Paris's past for who she is now.

As far as Paris goes, she probably isn't going to take any of your concerns into consideration. Nobody reacts well to being bombarded and she's just going to dig her heels in and ignore you the more you do it. If she's ever truly regretful for what she did, she'll apologize when she's ready or has a PR person badger her into it."

From u/SchoolfGhoul:

"Pword stand for Per. It's the real name of the lead guitar ghoul. Twitter folk seem to have a real issue with just using his name. They were complaining about the fact that apparently he doesn't like being called 'Dewdrop' and were making a real drama out of thinking like the fandom had upset him or something. The guitarist is a 40 year old man who probably doesn't give 2 shits about some nickname some fans made. However clearly he does take issue with all the drama and vilification that's being going about over who he chooses to be friends with. It's all really stupid and thanks to a few idiotic, immature teenagers who can't deal with someone else spending time with a guy who they have some obsession with, Per shut down his Instagram. I don't blame him really. The man has had a successful career since the late 90s as a Death Metal musician where he could play guitar without being harrassed on social media. I enjoy speaking to the Swedish Death Metal community group on FB. It's where all the cool fans and musicians hang out."

From u/ya_boi_jayy:

"It's a load of horse shit, I'm sure at this point you already know what's going on but I'm adding on to the story. I was added to a Ghost group chat a while ago for some reason. Here are some things they've said about Per.

"manz is a grown ass adult acting like he's 12"

"He woke up and chose emo😭"

"like babe, you are not the main character. don't get me wrong, i love per but.. ARE YOU THAT DESPERATE FOR SOME 😺"

"yeah he posted some edgy lyrics in his story and deleted his account an hour after"

"Per bestie I loved u sm, all this for some 😺😺? HDNDB"

"man he was so desperate to get his 🍆💦"

"they have matching bracelets?? they're in sweden together? they're definitely sleeping together"

"he deleted his Instagram last time when he got caught cheating on his ex fiancé, he is definitely sleeping with her"

This is such bullshit, people can't mind their own business. It's fucked up. For some reason they hate him now meanwhile yesterday they were all like "omg he's so cute i love him sm 🥺🥺🥺" PLUS they're all saying that they're the mature ones.

Here's what Per posted on his story before deleting it.

"Just cause you don't understand what's going on. Don't mean it don't make no sense. And just 'cause you don't like it, don't mean it ain't no good. And let me tell you something. Before you go taking a walk in my world. You better take a look at the real world. Cause this ain't no Mister Roger's Neighborhood. Can you Say "Feel like shit"? Yeah, maybe sometimes I do feel like shit ain't happy 'bout it but I'd rather feel like shit than be full of shit. And if I offended you. Oh, I'm sorry but maybe you need to be offended. But here's my apology and one more thing, FUCK YOU!""

So, yeah. All this shit.

#answered #ghost fan twitter memorial day weekend 2022 shitfest

[phoenixyfriend]

Commander Buir

Follow-up to this post. Not in any particular order, just spitballing ideas, with contributions from several friends on discord.

Like presumably it takes long enough for them all to meet up again that Anakin and Cody do, in fact, end up treating each other like family, just so I can have that good good "well, guess I'm Dad now" energy. Shmi isn't entirely sure what's going on but she's not a slave anymore and her kid seems to like this rando mando, so.

Anakin gets to have a mom and two dads, though one of the dads is arguably younger than him.

Also when they all meet up again and Cody explains the "General Skywalker got shrunk" thing, there are three reactions: (General) Obi-Wan: Oh, Anakin. Obi-Wan: [gestures to take him, ends up with an armful of clingy padatoddler] Anakin: You can't blame this on me, Obi. Obi-Wan, a little teary, because babies cause emotions: Of course I can, you absurd human being. ------ Rex: That's... my general. Anakin: I am, Captain. Rex: Cool cool cool I'm gonna go stand where I can't, uh, break you. Anakin: I'm not THAT fragile! ------ Ahsoka: [gasp] Skyguy is SKYKID! Anakin: Padawan, this is-- Ahsoka, grabbing him and cuddling: Oh my goodness you're adorable this is the best day ever. Anakin: This is humiliating, Snips, put me down. Ahsoka: Never.

Anakin hates being a toddler because of the lack of independence but Cody keeps picking him up when he's cranky and just holding him until he falls asleep and that's... nice.......

- The brain limitations aren't quite as bad as the situation with Sokanth and Ylliben in the other AU, but - Even if his brain is mostly adjusted he’s still got a tiny body with different needs that he’s not used to. Like, he needs to sleep more but he’s got more energy than usual when he’s awake and it’s all weird.

Cody carrying around toddler Anakin like "God you give me ulcers but you're adorable, you little shit."

Inconveniently tiny body aside, Anakin has a pretty great time in this au. His family are all together and safe and within reach. His wife isn't around, but toddler brain means he doesn't have the Romance Drive, so that's not as bad as it could be It could be significantly worse.

@atagotiak asked: Does Anakin get annoyed about being called cute? - To which I say, He bites the first few times but Shmi tells him that's Naughty so he stops. - Babies are cute so you packbond with them before they’re annoying, Anakin is cute as a self defense mechanism - He’s extra annoying so he needs to be extra cute

You know how you need to keep an eye on toddlers so they don't, like, fall down the stairs or put something toxic in their mouth? - They need to keep an eye on Anakin specifically so he doesn't rewire the ship they're in while they're in hyperspace. - He has less self control on account of being smol. He still has all the mechanical knowledge! Just less comprehension of y’know, consequences.

Anakin, with a sippy cup: This is demeaning. Ahsoka: Your hands don't work great enough to avoid accidents yet. Anakin: It's still embarrassing.

General Kenobi can't just kill Maul, not when Maul is baby right now (sixteen, which is baby enough) so he just. Kinda. Kidnaps a baby Sith. (It's fine. He's fine.)

General Kenobi (not to be confused with Padawan Kenobi) decides to declare Maul his new padawan because someone has to deal with this teenager, and Plo already claimed the rest of Ahsoka's training. And Anakin's three, so.

"What do we do with Maul?" "Eh, I can handle him. I dealt with teenage Anakin getting arrested for illegal pod-racing twice a month, I can work with this."

Maul bites, but only slightly more often than Anakin, it's fine

Ahsoka definitely bullies Maul whenever possible

Consider: Rex holding very still because Anakin wanted to be tall, so he climbed Rex. Being unexpectedly climbed is better than being unexpectedly yeeted. It's still extremely nerve-wracking. - Cody is perfectly capable of running around with a backpacking toddler General, but Rex freezes like a statue. - Ahsoka finds this hilarious

You know how little kids like to be thrown around and swung in circles and stuff like that? This must get even more ridiculous with force users. Can throw a child real high and catch them safely. - Rex panics whenever Ahsoka throws her chibified Master

Literally everyone except Rex loves being yeeted. Even Maul can appreciate a good tactical yeet no shut up he's not having fun this is TRAINING - Rex is Suffering - Cody, a very Tired Dad, deserves to mock his vod'ika a little, as stress relief - Rex, a certified Little Brother, shoves Cody off something tall. Jokes on him, Cody thinks freefall is fun too.

Tia asked: So the people who didn’t exist yet got flung bodily back in time and Anakin did the mental time travel. Why did Obi-Wan not become Padawan Kenobi? (I mean “because I want it that way” is def a good enough answer I’m just wondering if there’s any reason.) - Which, well, it really was mostly "I want to" but here's two options, both of which come down to Blame Daughter and Father. 1. They figured a responsible adult Jedi Master was needed to convince people. 2. Nobody was supposed to get de-aged but Daughter figured they needed to make Anakin less liable to kill things for a few years. - Also IDK the Force God-Manifestations also took away any risk of rapid aging and early death from the clones because uhhhhhhhhhhh I said so

Rex and Ahsoka are fumbling their way through a relationship where ages are just really confusing and awkward, so they're keeping it to just kisses and cuddles for a bit.

Cody is so tired he doesn't even realize anyone's hitting on him until it's been three years of co-parenting with Shmi and his General. - Somehow Anakin knows Cody is in a relationship before Cody does. Cody has never been so embarrassed. - How did he manage to be less observant than Skywalker? -- it was sabotage; all his brain cells were taken up in managing said Skywalker -- Because Skywalker was up at three in the morning whacking a training droid with a stick so he didn't have the energy for Relationships

Also Shmi's come-ons are super subtle, while the General's are... well, Cody's gotten very used to ignoring anything ambiguous on that end because fraternization rules, and also because Obi-Wan flirts a lot with everyone. So.

Please imagine Cody and General Kenobi walking around with Anakin tucked into a toddler sling while they do whatever work they've ended up with at the Temple. - Yes, Cody is helping the Jedi figure out the best plan of attack to take down this slave ring because his grasp on tactics is phenomenal and he knows how to deploy people at greatest efficiency, but also he's got a nosy toddler on his hip who keeps offering his own insane-but-competent ideas. - General Kenobi ends up with a Council Seat just on account of, like, being the kind of person he is. As often as not, he's got Anakin tucked into his robes, chewing on the ear of a stuffed tooka or something.

IDK what Shmi's doing but apparently Legends had it that some of the administrative and support positions in the Temple were held by non-Jedi civilians? So probably something like that.

GENERAL KENOBI LECTURING PADAWAN MAUL WHILE ANAKIN'S BALANCED ON HIS HIP AND GLARING AT MAUL FOR STEALING HIS DAD

General Kenobi: Ahsoka's babysitting. Anakin: I'm her master, I don't need babysitting, this is-- General Kenobi: Fine, then you need supervision, so that you don't blow up a training salle again. Anakin: And you think Ahsoka would stop me? General Kenobi, eye twitching: Fine, I'm leaving you with Plo.

Even if he’s mentally an adult Anakin always needs supervision Look at canon! Anakin was left without supervision for like two days and he became a Sith

Quinlan gets distracted by how attractive General Kenobi is and tells Obi-Wan "dude, you're gonna be so hot once you can get rid of the stupid haircut" and Obi-Wan pushes him into the nearest pond.

They end up with this weird "Uncle Jango" situation (uncle to Anakin, via weird brotherhood-ish to Cody) because Rex and Cody are just like "Uhhhhhhhhh yeah okay" about him eventually, and Jango just like. Drops by. Trying to Earn Affection Of Blood Kin by bringing weird gifts for them and their (ugh) Jedi.

"Okay, Rex'ika, I stopped by Shili--" "What?" "--and apparently this is a delicacy there, so just... your girlfriend will like it." "She's not my girlfriend." "..." "Okay, I can't call her my girlfriend. Jedi have rules about that sort of thing, and--" "This will make your Jedi happy, probably. Just take it, kid."

Baby Anakin got his arm back but for some inexplicable reason still has The Eye Scar. He matches Buir.

#disaster lineage #Anakin Skywalker #CodyWan #Commander Cody #Obi Wan Kenobi #Ahsoka Tano #Captain Rex #Shmi Skywalker #Maul #Darth Maul #Rexsoka #time travel #de aging #baby characters #Quinlan Vos #Phoenix Posts #Commander Buir

[eleteo125]

Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Naughty Wolf (m)

Wolf!Baji x Red Riding Hood!Reader

18+ fic minors dni

Red Riding Hood is a title given to those with the duty of delivering food, crops, livestock, etc. to the wolves in exchange for the protection of the village. But what if you met one of those wolves?

CW: Sexual Content, biting, hair pulling

Word Count: 15,010 (yeesh haha)

A/N: I haven't written anything in a loooong time haha. Also forgive my smut scenes they aren't my forte when it comes to writing. English is also not my first language so have mercy if I made any mistake haha. And lastly @kazutoraholic here's the result of that little thirst post you had about Wolf!Baji hahaha hope you enjoy this too.

In a map of a far away kingdom, there is a dense forest that not many have travelled to. There have been so many sightings of large monsters and predators out for prey. Beasts so strong even the strongest knights cannot defeat. Said beasts has been observed to only reside in the forest not wandering outside so they just left it be. But in the middle of said forest resides a quaint village. As most would assume how could this village survive in such an environment where beasts of great magnitude reside? Well they don’t. They’ve enlisted the help of the “wolves” of the area whom have taken the responsibility of protecting the villagers from outside intruders from entering the village.

Mighty generous some would say but alas, their services are not for free. They have demanded to be provided some crops and livestock from the village every two weeks. And that’s where Red Riding Hoods enter. They are responsible of dropping off said supplies at a certain drop off inside the forest. Red Riding Hoods must be able to easily navigate through the dense forest for faster delivery of the supplies. They don a red hood as an indicator that they are allies to the wolves so as to not to mistakenly attack them.

One of those Red Riding Hoods happens to be your grandmother. She would be leaving for quite a while and come back with great stories of her adventures through the forest. It could be as great as catching sight of the mightily beasts or as mundane as finding a rare herb, you soaked it all up earning you a great curiosity what’s beyond those dense forest. She even mentioned coming across a wolf pup who wouldn’t let her go until she gave him some food. You both laughed at the story while also telling you not to tell anyone and it’ll be your little secret. She emphasized how the wolves are very private creatures and doesn’t really like interacting with humans. She brings life and wonder of what’s beyond the forest and not just a habitat of dangerous beasts.

But one day, your grandmother never made it home. She disappeared. She never came back from delivering the supplies. There’s a rule where once a Red Riding Hood haven’t returned in a week, they are presumed dead and a new Red Riding Hood is titled. A rule some would say is absurd, but considering how dangerous the forest is it seemed to make sense. And most cases where Red Riding Hoods not returning, they either end up found dead or still missing.

Your grandmother’s disappearance could be enough to drive you away from the forest, but you still have hope that she’s still out there. So you resorted to ways where you could go into the forest without trouble. Become a Red Riding Hood.

The only knowledge you have of the forest is your grandmother’s stories which does give information but not enough to get you to be a master navigator. SO you spent the rest of your teenage years studying about navigating and studying the on the forest that is available. After years and years of studying, you finally find yourself fit to be a Red Riding Hood. Teachers and Professors are willing to put in a good word for you when you applied to be a Red Riding Hood. And after going through a tedious process of paperwork and testing, you finally did it. You are now a Red Riding Hood. You may be doing it because you want closure on your grandmother’s disappearance, but you still felt that childlike giddiness now that you’re just like your amazing grandmother.

And here you are at the village gates waiting for the gates to open to enter the forest. Nervous and excited, that’s what you are. You’ve always been a curious little bean, so seeing more of the forest beyond just illustrations and books is beyond exciting. But you’re also nervous because who wouldn’t be when the most dangerous forest in the kingdom is right there where wild beasts could maul you anytime. So yeah, nervous and excited. To calm your nerves, you resorted to count the supplies and double…well triple check in this case.

“Nervous?” a man in knight uniform approached you.

“Atsushi! Yes. Seeing the forest up close like this is…”you looked up and took a view of the forest “pretty intimidating”

“Ah I told you Akkun is fine. Might as well get familiar with each other since I’ll be escorting you to the gates from now on. And if it’s any consolation, this is my first time being near the forest too.”

You chuckled at his nervous face when gazing at the forest which you can definitely relate too. Knowing someone else might relate to you comforted you a little.

“Welp! Off I go then!” you said cheerfully trying to ignore your nerves.

“Take care okay. And thank you for your service to the village.”

“An honor to serve the village. See ya!” you said before taking off.

You’ve been travelling for two days and you came to one conclusion. You were definitely being followed. You don’t really have any evidence you were being followed but you can just feel it. You barely slept last night, but at least you’re already at the drop off point. So you quickly did your tasks so you can travel back home already and hopefully not get mauled by a beast.

Just as you were thinking of that, you heard leaves from a branch rustle. Your face paled and your body was paralyzed. ‘Not on my first day please not on my first day” you pleaded with your eyes closed. You slowly opened your eyes and turned your head towards the direction of the rustle.

You came into eye contact with a guy. No wait, uh, he has dog or maybe was it wolf ears. He must probably one of the wolves. But when learning about the wolves you assumed they would look more…wolf-like and not human-like.

“Hey.” The guy? Dog? Wolf? Said trying to get your attention

“Uhm, can I- can I help you?” you hoped you said that loud enough for him to hear you still were shocked of what you came across.

“Ya got food on ya?”he asked and stepping out from the bush.

“Yea, I just locked it in the drop off point.”

He looked at the drop off point and looked back at you. “That’s great! But what I mean is a spare food you guys have a lot of those right?” he said with somewhat an excited look on his eyes. You even caught a glimpse of his wagging tail behind him.

“Well the food on me is for me while I travel.” You explained while patting your bag.

“Aww. How about a bite then?” he asked stepping near your bag and sniffing a little which caused him to drool a bit.

“No can do, sorry”

“A nibble then?” he asked crouching down next to your bag and looking up at you giving you the puppy eyes. You almost cooed out loud because admittedly he looked cute looking like that. You shook your head “N-no” you faltered.

As you said that, his face turned into a frown and his ears started to droop down. ‘Oh no not the ears, not the ears! Hhnnggg those cute ears and those fluffy hair aagghh!’You sighed and reached for your bag “Alright, fine”

“Hell yeah!” he stood up and took the sandwich you handed him with bright eyes. It isn’t a problem really; you made extra the amount of food for your travels to gauge how much you’ll need for next time. As the guy devoured the sandwich, you started to observe him. Long dark hair one of the noticeable trait of his after his ears. Sharp canines which he made great use of while eating, and amber eyes which were now looking at you. ‘Oh’ how long have you been staring at him? You felt yourself blush at the thought of getting caught but brushed it off.

“So, I hope you enjoyed it!”you tried making conversation

The guy gave you a smile that showed off his canines. “Definitely! It was just as good as your grandmother’s haha.” He said while patting his tummy.

“Wait-huh? My grandmother’s?”

“Was she not your grandmother? There used to be a nice old lady who gave me food all the time when she goes here.”

‘Could it be?!’

“A-are you by chance talking about my grandmother?!” you asked enthusiastically getting close to him in the process…well maybe too close judging by the fact that he stepped back a little.

“Yes…” he said now the one thinking you’re strange

“H-h-how do you know my grandmother and I were related?” your thoughts were going a mile a minute that turning those thoughts into words is a bit of a struggle.

“Well, you both smelled similar.”

“Eh?”

“Your scent.”

You stared at him before backing away and covering yourself “Have you been sniffing me?!”

“Wha- I was sniffing your bag I just got a whiff of you!”

“And how were you able to do that?!”

“I’m a wolf!”

“Oh” you realized feeling a little bit dumb. But at least you got a confirmation of what he is.

The guy in front of you sighed and said “Why don’t we start over. I’m Baji Keisuke, one of the wolves defending you village from the forest a pleasure to meet you.” He held out his hand for you to shake, which you accepted. “Gotta say, didn’t expect for you guys to change the Red Riding Hood so soon.”

Feeling like some tension was taken off, you decided to be friendly. “What can I say, I guess I impressed the village head with my top notch navigating skills.” you giggled at your faux arrogance which also earned the now named Baji a chuckle.

“So… you knew my grandmother?”

“I knew her as that nice lady with good food, other than that I don’t really remember much, was just a pup after all.”

Ah, you remember now. You recall your grandmother telling you stories about a wolf pup always bothering her until he gets food. With how he acted earlier, you definitely can connect the dots now.

“So how is she? Haven’t seen her for a long time.”

At that you felt yourself get sad for a bit. “I was hoping you would know something about it actually.”

He raised his brow at that statement “What do you mean?”

You looked at him before saying “She…she went missing. Here in the forest.”

“Oh. I see.” He said while looking down having a guess on what happened

“Don’t look so down, I still have hope that she’s still somewhere out there!” you declared full of confidence, you were determined to get to the bottom of your grandmother’s disappearance and Baji could sense that.

“Mind if I join you in that little quest of yours?”

You looked at him in surprise and delight you grabbed his hands and looked at him with bright eyes “Really?! You would do that?” you asked brimming with gratefulness.

Baji blushed a little bit at the sudden contact and proximity but you were just so excited to get help from someone that has a connection to your grandmother outside of the village that you failed to notice his flustered face. “Of course. Consider that as payment from the snack you gave me.”

“Oh you don’t have to worry about that.”

He smiled at you at that “Still, I would love to help you. She’s been a part of my childhood too albeit not as much as yours.”

“Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you!” you said while continuously bowing.

“H-hey save your thanks for later once we actually made progress.”

“Oh r-right, ehehe”

“You better get going. You’ve got quite a long journey back home.”

“That’s true. I’ll take my leave then! It was very nice to meet you!”

As you were about to leave you felt him tug at your sleeve prompting you to look at him “Hey what do you say I escort you back to your village?”

“Really?” you asked though you find it hard to say no to a little extra protection from the forest’s dangers “Would that be ok?”

“Of course! Besides I like you!” he declared which made you blush heavily “No-wait uh, that didn’t come out right. What I was trying to say is that uh, your grandmother talks about from time to time so I kind of got an idea of what you were like so yea.” He let out a nervous laugh and though ‘The hell was that explanation, did it even make sense???’

“W-well I’ll be in your care then!” you tried to change the subject since this conversation is making you more and more flustered.

“Right!” he gave you a mock salute and went off to lead the way.

Through your journey, the sunset came about you. Baji stepped forward and held his hand towards the setting sun. He seemed to be gauging something before saying “We got a an hour or so before the sun completely sets. Let’s settle right here and set up camp.”

“Ok ok, I’ll grab some firewood not far from here.”

“Hmm, got a tent with you? I can set it up while you’re gathering.”

“Yes! Yes I do.” You answered handing it to him “Thank you very much.”

“Not a problem. Off you go now make sure to gather enough before dark.”

“I’ll be right back then.” Just as you said that, Baji noticed something move in his peripherals.

Finding firewood wasn’t that difficult and you find yourself content with the amount you have gathered. As you were finishing up, you heard a rustle to your right. “Ah Baji you didn’t have to come here I was…just…” it wasn’t Baji. And judging by the fact that this creature was eyeing you up as its next meal, it was safe to assume that it wasn’t gonna be as friendly as Baji was.

You tried to keep steady so as to not provoke the creature, but that didn’t matter since it started to approach you sizing you up. You’ve had training where you were taught how to defend yourself from these beasts and escape quickly but facing off with the real deal like this caused you to have a mental block.

You tried slowly reaching for your weapon—which is a measly knife—but it’ll have to do. But even the smallest of movements is enough to provoke it and was now charging at you in full speed. You were about to run but in the blink of an eye the beast’s head was crushed. And right on top of that crushed head is Baji’s foot. You were about to approach him but then he started stomping on the beast’s head flattening it to the ground. He then went towards its body and started to slash at it with his claws that you didn’t notice until now. He slashed and diced until all that’s left was just minced meat.

He took out what looked to be a handkerchief and wiped his face and hands before turning to face you. What he saw wasn’t exactly pleasant. You had a pale face with your trembling hands in front of you. He hopes he didn’t scare you too much, but what he did was necessary lest the creature go limping without its head. He took cautious steps towards you and you seemed to be rooted where you stand.

Who wouldn’t be intimidated at such a display? You knew it was necessary for both your survival but that was just too much for you to handle right now. On your first day no less. When you noticed Baji stepping towards you, you didn’t know what to do so you just stayed there. You were so lost in thought that you were surprised when you felt warmth around your hands. You looked down and saw him holding your hands. It was so big and warm and so…comforting.

Baji held your hands tenderly trying to calm you down. Once he felt your hands stop trembling, he asked you softly. “You doing ok now?”

His deep voice was enough to ground you to reality and be at the moment. “Oh I’ll….I’ll be fine. Just trying to process everything really.” Seeing one of the said protectors of your village in action is a lot, add on the fact that you were just in grave danger it’s a lot to take in. And he understood that.

“Why don’t we head back to the camp and rest there for a while then?”

So that’s what you two did. Seated by the campfire while you both stare at the bonfire, both of you not really knowing how to break the ice. You decided and went for it though so blurted out “That was impressive.”

“What is?”

“You overpowering something thrice your size. Didn’t even had a chance against you, you just stepped on it like a small bug.”

“It’s technically our job to get rid of those guys fast and efficiently.”

“Was mincing it really necessary? I mean you destroyed it’s head surely it must’ve died by then.”

“It’s mostly just a precaution really. That thing found us quite near our camp so I didn’t wanna take any chances.”

“I see.” As soon as you said that silence overcame the two of you once again. It wasn’t a comfortable silence nor was it an awkward silence. Just silence.

Baji got tired of it though. He looked at his surroundings before letting out a grunt as he stands up. “Come on, I wanna show you something. It’s not far from here.” He said as he offered you a hand to help you up.

You let him lead the way. You two walked for about two to three minutes until you ended up in a grass field where he stopped in his tracks. Was this the place, there isn’t much to see around here.

Baji suddenly bolted and ran through the fields in different patterns. You looked at him incredulously wondering what the hell he was doing. Before you could ponder on what purpose of his running was, you suddenly see a trail of gold light following after him. It didn’t take long for you to realize “Fireflies!”

They looked oh so beautiful with the moonlit night. As beautiful as they are your attention was on something completely different. Seeing Baji jumping and hopping around somehow made your heart skip a beat. ‘I don’t know maybe it’s his handsome mug?’

“Hey! Come on run with me!” Didn’t have to tell you twice. For the next ten minutes all you two did was run around while also trying to catch fireflies and letting them go not long after. It’s a cute activity except when Baji started to catch them with his mouth asking if it makes him glow. Which you firmly said no and proceeded to scold him, except it happened more than once so now you’re chasing after him to free those poor fireflies.

You managed to tackle him down but when you looked at him there was nothing in his mouth anymore. So here you are lying on top of him. You blushed at your position and quickly got off him for you to then lie down beside him. He was still laughing from the experience doing his best to calm his laughter down. You two are now staring at the stars while lying down and surrounded by fireflies.

“Beautiful place isn’t it?”

“Yeah” you sighed in contentment

“The forest is a scary place. It’s full of dangers and predators ready to pounce on its prey. But at the same time it can also be beautiful. It’s little wonders like these that give life to the forest. What you experienced earlier is a terrifying experience, but I ask you not to let that incident define how you view this place after all, it is my home. And maybe…your grandmother’s too.”

You sat up from your position and turned to look at him. “Thank you.” You chuckled after saying that “How much did I thank you just for today?”

“Don’t know wasn’t really keeping count. Besides,” he sat up “nothing wrong with being grateful.”

“We should take our rest; we still have quite a lot of land to travel through tomorrow. Especially you, you just went berserk just earlier.”

“Are you kidding I could easily take one of those guys again right now with ease.”

“Don’t jinx us.”

“Hahaha my bad, my bad,”

Your two day trip was shortened to a day and a half. And now the village walls is in your view already.

“Woah! Thanks for the help and of course for escorting me all the way here.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. Managing to trek through these forests to the drop off point in only two days is commendable. You’re a Red Riding Hood for a good reason.”

“Oh come on you’re making me blush from those praise.” You muttered while holding your cheeks.

“Oh you got a thing for praises then?”

“What?”

“Huh?”

Baji cleared his throat and said “Well uh looks like we’ll be seeing each other quite often huh.”

“Oh yeah yeah.”

“Until next time then?”

“Of course!” you answered quite enthusiastically

“Save me some snacks for next time then!” he waved at you before disappearing in the forest.

A very interesting first day you must admit.

You’re currently at your home taking your rest until the next excursion in the forest. You’re gonna have to set a routine and a new lifestyle so you can get used to your new job. As you’re taking your rest, your mind started to wander to that wolf you just met. He’s very energetic but you had a feeling you haven’t gotten the full experience just yet.

Now that you think about it, was it normal for wolves to escort Red Riding Hoods? It would make sense since they’re carrying something that the wolves need but that doesn’t explain the continuous disappearances of them. Maybe it happens occasionally. When you were studying, you haven’t come across any accounts that states they’ve been escorted by a wolf before. The only explanation you could think of is that since wolves are private creatures they don’t want them talking about how they are. Well the best way to find answers is to ask someone who’s been a Red Riding Hood before.

“Who did what now?” the man in front of you asked, shock written all over his face.

“A wolf escorted me home and I was wondering if that were normal for us.”

“Y-you came across a wolf?” he asked still in disbelief. He then stood up instantly “Do you realize what this means?! No one has seen any of the wolves for decades now!” The man then started to mutter and spouting details you couldn’t really make out so you just slowly backed away. Well now you know it’s definitely not normal. He was probably just helping you out cause he was familiar with your grandmother…and the food, can’t forget about that.

After all that deliberation here you are again nearing the drop off point to of course drop off the crops and livestock. You’re sat beside a large tree near it taking a little bit of rest before travelling back home again. When you felt well rested enough, you reached for your bag to take off only to find out it’s not there. Well that’s worrisome, but said worries were set aside when you heard someone clear their throat from above you.

“Looking for this?~” Baji asked while holding out the bag as he sits on a tree branch.

“Baji! Come on give it back!” he lowered the bag to you but pulled it out of your reach went you went to grab for it which made you chuckle. You tried to grab it from him multiple times jumping up and down. “Hardi har har Baji, now give it back or else I won’t be able to give you your snacks.” You persuaded which surprisingly worked on him as he jumped down from the tree branch.

He held out the bag to you but went to a sprint before you could grab it. “Catch me first! Hahaha” run after him you did. You figured that he wasn’t running in his top speed as you were able to easily catch up to him. No way were you able to outrun a wolf and you weren’t exactly the fastest either. Just as you thought you were close to him, he jumped up and onto a tree.

He turned to you and held his hand out “Upsy daisy!”

That caught you off guard “I’m not exactly a tree climber.”

“Don’t worry I got you!” he smiled at you with that wide smile where his sharp canines were on display. With such a charming smile, you couldn’t bring yourself to say no so you took his outstretched hand. You were much surprised when he was able to lift you up with just one hand.

He then handed the bag to you and climbed up higher and reached his hand out again. “We’re going higher?”

“Yeah I wanna show you something”

“How will we get down?”

“I’ll carry you down.”

You gave this a thought if it would be a good idea. You concluded that seeing the forest from a bird’s eye view can be very helpful especially in travelling. “Alright then.”

The higher you two get, the tighter the grip you had on Baji. He couldn’t help but silently smile at the thought that you trusted him in such a situation. Not long after, you two were at the top of the tree where the view of the large dense forest came to greet you. “Wow!” you gawked at the view while Baji basked in viewing the wonder in your eyes. “Look! I can see a little glimpse of the village’s gate from here!” you exclaimed pointing at its direction.

“They are pretty tall.” He acknowledged

You continued to sightsee and take in the large display of trees. You were taken out of your attention when you heard howling. You turned to Baji whose back was on you. You saw his flattened ears on his head, so you adjusted yourself to look at him and confirmed that it’s him who’s howling. “What are you doing?” you asked curiously

He turned to you and gave you a smirk. And that view got you blushing, his smirk along with the wind blowing his hair back with the large forest as the backdrop. After giving you the reassuring smirk, he continued to howl towards the forest for a few more seconds before pausing, waiting for something. Suddenly you heard howling coming from different directions of the forest.

Baji barked out laughter when he heard them. “THOSE ARE MY PALS!” he declared proudly. “You wanna meet them someday?”

“Can I?!?!” you asked excitedly. The idea of getting to know more about him and his friendships excited you.

You realize that your spot right now is a nice place to eat. So you fetched the food that you prepared for him. You decided to cook two servings of stir fried noodles since you figured that this man most likely had a gigantic stomach judging by the fact with how he devoured your sandwich last time.

Baji being the ever vigilant wolf that he is, smelt the food you took out and quickly sat beside you waiting to be handed the delicious smelling food. You even caught a glimpse of his wagging tail.

You held out the container to him but quickly pulled it back as he went to grab for it laughing at his pouty face paired with droopy ears. “Payback time.” He went and grabbed for it again but you managed to swipe it away from his reach. He tried again and again until your entire arm was outstretched while he was leaning on you as he tried to reach the container. It didn’t take long for you two to realize that he was basically hugging you with both his hands stretched out to reach the container and you in between his arms.

Both of you were quick to separate and sat there a little embarrassed flushing at the thought of how close you two were. “Here” you placed the container on his lap.

“Th-thanks”

A few moments has passed and you heard him starting to eat. Baji thinks that it’s delicious! It even reminded him of a certain food he loves back home but his mind is currently at how close they were earlier. You felt warm he could cuddle you all day just stay in your arms basking in its warmth. “Do you like it?”

“Mmfff!” He answered while also nodding his head. “We have something similar back home too!”

“Glad you enjoyed it. So uh,” you looked down from the tree “How exactly are we gonna get down?”

“Hmm? Oh, I’ll just carry you down.” He offered you his back “Just hang on to me and I’ll do the climbing down.

You appreciated that he was willing to do something like that but the thought of hanging on his back at such a height makes you scared that you’ll accidentally let go of him.

Baji sensed the anxiety you were currently having and thought of something else. “Th-then how about hanging from my front then.”

“Huh?”

“You clearly didn’t like the first idea and this is the only alternative I can think of.”

That was quite a smooth move whether it was his intention or not didn’t matter. Nevertheless clinging or basically hugging him until you get down didn’t seem like a bad idea. And you like being in his arms from earlier.

“That’ll do then.”

“Alright! Come on over here then.” He opened his arms with a wide smile trying to hide his fluster.

As you two got into position, both of you couldn’t help but focus on the breathing that’s right next to your ears. You give a pretty tight hug too. He lifted your thighs and guided them to wrap around his waist. The position was admittedly quite suggestive but he didn’t have any complaints and as he’s observed it seemed to be ok with you too. “Hang on tight.” He said as he started his descent.

As he was descending, you couldn’t help but pay attention to the breathing and grunts coming from him. You felt shame for thinking such thoughts so you just focused on the wind in your hair as he jumps from branch to branch and in no time at all you’re both back to the ground.

Once your feet were on the ground, you leaned back from your embrace with Baji. You still had your arms on his shoulders and his hands on your waist with you two just looking at each other. You caught a movement from his head and saw a caterpillar on his hair which made you giggle.

“What?” he asked concerned if he somehow looked silly.

“Nothing you just got a friendly guy hanging on you.” You reached for the caterpillar and let it crawl to your hand. As you wait for it to get to your hand, you felt how soft Baji’s hair actually was. You only assumed when since it looked like it, but getting to feel it it’s even softer than you expected.

The whole time Baji was just admiring you since he didn’t usually get a close look at you so he’s making the most out of this situation. He watched you place said caterpillar on a nearby bush letting it go in its merry way.

After that little encounter, you both agreed to start your journey back to the village. And thus another delivery as a Red Riding Hood has finished.

The both of you developed a routine where every time you are to do your duties, he would meet you at the drop off point, eat whatever you had prepared for him, and then show you a part of the forest he believes you would like. He never failed to bring a smile on your face when touring you through the forest. Then he’ll be on his way when you’re near the village. You’ve had this steady lifestyle for months until one day…

You were waiting for Baji because you just know that he’s on his way to get his precious snack. Your relaxed stated was disrupted when you smelt something burning. ‘That’s not good’ you thought It definitely wasn’t the smell of burning bonfire. You immediately rushed towards the direction of the burning hoping that it wasn’t the start of a forest fire.

Arriving at the scene, you were relieved it wasn’t a forest fire, but that relief was short lived because what you saw was somehow just as bad. There Baji was holding down a beast which is burning. “BAJI?!”

Your call made him turn to look at you. The sight of you made him widen his eyes in surprise “Stay back! I’ll handle this!” he said as he smacked the beast with a flaming torch before jumping away. He grabbed you in a hug and hid behind a tree where you only heard the flames getting bigger before silence.

You tried to look behind the tree but Baji only tightened his hold on you. The sound of something blowing up then overwhelmed you as you buried you head in his chest. A few more moments after that, Baji then loosened his hold on you. Once again you tried looking behind the tree only to find ashes everywhere. Nothing in the surrounding seemed to be burnt; the only evidence of there being a fire was the ashes and a missing patch of grass.

Before Baji could say anything, you smacked him upside the head. “What were you thinking?!?! You could’ve started something disastrous doing something like that!”

“But I didn’t~” he said before letting out a nervous laugh.

You went up real close to his face and said “You better NOT do this again or no more snacks for you!”

“Yes ma’am!”

You sighed and decided to take his word on it for now. “What even drove you to burning that beast?” you asked rubbing your temples

When you looked at him, he was guiltily looking down at his lap his ears droopy too, a clear sign of his guilt “I was hungry.” He said while in a pout.

“Come again?”

“I was hungryyyy” he whined “I easily get riled up when I’m hungry. That beast just attacked me at the wrong time.”

You sighed again not wanting to explore the topic any further. You took out a handkerchief and proceeded to wipe at his face “Look at you, you’re covered in soot.”

“So are you.”

“You know a place where we can wash up?”

Baji was silent for a moment trying to think of any. After a few moments, his face lighted up “I remember, there’s a river near hear with a small waterfall. I remember taking a bath there once.”

“Let’s head there then. Besides, a meal is much better after a bath after all.”

It wasn’t that long of a walk until you two came about the river he was talking about. The water in the river was crystal clear and the breeze around the area was refreshing thanks to the waterfall. You dipped your hand in the water to gauge its temperature which was just right it’s cold enough to be refreshing but not too cold that you’ll freeze. Maybe a little dip won’t hurt.

Unbeknownst to you, while you were observing the river, Baji was already shedding his clothes and was now running towards the river taking a dive. Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard a splash near you. You instinctively tried to cover yourself from being splashed. It doesn’t take a genius to deduct what was the source of that splash. “Baji!”

Baji resurfaced from the water and pushed his hair back all while laughing at your reaction “My bad, my bad.”

“You have to be mindful of others…around…you…” you drawled out after seeing Baji’s shirtless figure. Thank goodness for the sun’s reflection on the water or you would’ve gotten a full frontal view.

“You like the view?” he said with a big smirk on his face while also raising his eyebrow fascinated at how you were ogling him.

You were quick to turn your back to him to prevent yourself from staring. “Wh-why yes, this river is wonderful.”

“Not exactly what I’m referring to.” He teased

“Oh would you just shut it.” You blurted out in frustration. You were flushing so hard right now; you can’t bring yourself to face him like this.

“Oh well, it’s your decision to not take a dip. I mean it would be a shame for you not to experience the very cool river.” He sarcastically said while swimming over to the waterfall and washing his hair thoroughly through it. “ Ahh~ feels like I’m washing my problems away.”

You tried your best to remain firm but you find yourself turning to look at him curious as to what he was doing. And the sight of him washing his hair underneath a waterfall was such an enticing sight that you wanted to join him right then and there, but you were still embarrassed. You haven’t been naked in front of anyone, but the thought of being naked in front of Baji didn’t really bother you, you just felt shy.

Baji finished washing his hair before turning to look at you again. When he saw you still rooted in place, he swam over to you. “Come on take a dip, the water’s great. And weren’t you the one who said that a meal is much better after a bath?”

Few moments has passed of you just pondering the situation before answering “T-turn around.”

“Huh?” he asked in disbelief

“I said turn around. Don’t really feel comfortable being watched while getting naked.”

“Oh, OH right right! Uhh ok!” you heard a few splashes before you turned around to make sure. And there he is, his back turned to you—goodness even his back is such an eye candy.

You quickly make work of your clothes before taking a dip. In Baji’s opinion, the sound of your clothes rustling is much worse for him instead of just outright watching you get naked. Imagination is a powerful yet troublesome thing.

The soft sound of the water rippling as you stepped into the water rang in Baji’s ears refraining himself to look at your direction. “You should give the waterfall a try. It’ll also speed up the process if need be.”

Step under the waterfall you did. And to quote what Baji said, it really does feel like all your worries were being washed away. Baji then went back to washing himself once he was sure that you were settled nicely. Him minding his own business was quickly thrown to the side when he heard you let out a squeal. He quickly turned to look at you and he low-key regretted it. The sight of you and your pretty figure with water running down your body was more than enough to rile him up even more. He wanted to pounce on you right then and there. He clenched both his hands and his jaw trying to maintain what little is left of his self-control. But try as he might, he can’t make himself to look away from you his eyes stayed glued to you and you only, he was starting to have tunnel vision.

That tree branch sure did surprise you, now you felt silly for reacting such a way. You brushed that little incident off and went back to washing yourself which was paused the instant you felt an intense gaze on you. You turned to look at Baji since he’s the only person you knew who could be looking at you.

“Eep!” you squealed—yet again—out of embarrassment, not wanting to see his reaction to how you look so you quickly swan to the other side of the waterfall where he couldn’t or vaguely see you.

The second squeal you let out was enough for him to break out of his aroused stupor. Now with only concern in his mind, he swam near the waterfall but didn’t cross it. “Hey you ok in there?”

“Y-yeah!”

“Why’d you squeal earlier then?”

“You were looking at me earlier and I was embarrassed!”

There was a pause from his side “S-sorry about that I didn’t mean to. I was just concerned. Are you ok by the way?” he asked. You can hear the worry laced in his voice, and he did apologize so you decided to let it go.

“O-o that I was just-uh” you paused a little embarrassed to admit “A branch brushed my leg and I was startled. N-nothing to be concerned about.”

“That’s good.”

There was a pause once again. You only stared at each other’s figure albeit being distorted from the waterfall between you. “You’re beautiful.” Baji blurted out

“Huh?” you blushed at the sudden confession.

“I’m sorry, you were so irresistible to me I couldn’t help but stare I-I…” you saw his figure hold his face in his hands as if in shame “You’re a grown woman, surely you have an idea on what I’m feeling right now.”

You didn’t really have any words, you were speechless. But that’s not to say you disliked the knowledge that he saw you that way. In fact, it excited you. You reached out your hand to his side and took hold of his hands which were still holding his face. “No need to feel ashamed, I’m flattered actually.” You said as you then cupped his cheeks “Besides, you weren’t the only one staring.”

That admittance caused Baji to tense up. The thought of you looking at him the same way as he was looking at you was enough to rile him up again only this time, you were only a step away from him with you touching him. Once again he clenched his fists and jaw to maintain what’s left of his self control “Stop that. You don’t know what you’re doing.” He said with a slight tremble at his voice due to him trying to keep himself in place.

“What if I do know what I’m doing?” right now at this moment, you wanted to be as close to him as possible let him hold you close and do whatever he wants.

You felt some sort of vibration on your hands on his cheek. Was he growling? “You sure know how to rile a man up.” You heard him say through clenched teeth.

You realized you’ve made him wait long enough. You pulled your hands away from him and stepped back further in the waterfall to make room for him. “Come on over, must be lonely out there on your own.”

At first Baji was worried that he scared you off when you pulled you hands away, but you inviting him over excited him even more that he just knows how dilated his pupils were. Good thing the water was above the waist too or you would’ve gotten a view of his tail wagging aggressively.

You watched as he slowly stepped through the waterfall between you and seeing him all wet with some of his hair sticking to his in his naked glory brought you to arousal already.

Baji could say the same too. The sight of you all wet shyly covering yourself out of shyness from him was too much for him that he ended up caging you between his arms and the wall.

You two were close, too close with just a few inches between you as he pinned you. And yet it wasn’t close enough to your liking so you decided to fix that yourself. You threw your arms around his neck and brought your lips together with his which he gladly reciprocated. You felt how he was still trying to be gentle on you so you decided to rile him up. In the middle of your kiss, you gave his lips a long lick making him suck said tongue in turn. He then went to focus on your lips again sucking and biting which made you moan. Said moan turned Baji on even more as he shoved you further into the wall and dove to your neck giving it a hard bite pulling yet again another moan from you. The bite was hard but not hard enough to break skin yet hard enough to leave a mark that’ll be there for days. He gave the bite mark a lick before trailing butterfly kisses from your neck all the way up to your ear.

“I should’ve warned you earlier.” He said kissing your ear “I bite” he then proceeded to nibble at your ear while his hands were now roaming all over you feeling you up.

You didn’t want to be the only receiving end, so you proceeded to feel him up as well. You hands going to places you’ve always been curious about. First being his hair. You ran your hands repeatedly through his hair feeling how soft it is despite being wet. The next is his back; you’ve wanted to feel it ever since you caught sight of it earlier. You traced your hands on every muscle you could feel on his back starting from his shoulder blades and lower. You couldn’t help but wonder what it’ll be like when he’s thrusting into you. Third is his ears. You’ve always wondered if they were sensitive since it always seem to react to the tiniest bit of sound that not even you could pick up. You gave it a tentative touch and watch it twitch. You played with it for a while until you felt Baji’s nibbling to go harder.

Baji pulled away from your ear and dove for your lips making out with you as you both felt each other up. You were indulging in Baji’s kisses too much that you didn’t notice his hands going for your chest until he started playing with you nipples, pinching and twisting it while also squeezing your breast from time to time. The whole time he was doing so, you’ve been whimpering at the sensation. Baji was quick to put your breasts into his mouth sucking and nipping. As he does so, you started to feel something hard between your legs.

Naturally, you went and grabbed for it giving him slow strokes which earned a growl from him. A very welcome surprise for you, so you gladly kept doing it while his bites on your chests grow harder and harder. Eventually, Baji had enough of it. He grabbed your hand that was busy and pinned it to the wall next to you as he buried his face to your neck. “Careful now.” He growled

“Careful of what? I’ll welcome anything you have to offer, Baji.”

He gave you a tender look before going to kiss you again. As he was kissing, his free hand snaked down to your private parts and began to rub at it. Your moans from the action were swallowed by Baji as he kept kissing you. “You’re quite wet already aren’t you.” He said in between kisses.

“You sure it’s not just the water?” you teased

“Why don’t we find out ourselves.” He said with his signature smirk while inserted a finger in you making you gasp in surprise which he took advantage of tasting every bit of you through the kiss. Baji started to pull his finger in and out of you feeling your very slippery walls.

“I don’t know, it seems to me that the wetness is from you not the river.”

You didn’t even bother to answer, only focusing the feeling of Baji’s finger in you. You waited in anticipation as a second finger went up in you pulling a loud moan from you.

“Was two fingers too much for you, babe?” he swirled his fingers in you that made you squirm against him. “How are you going to handle me then?”

“B-baji please!” you pleaded as you looked at him with glossy eyes.

Baji would’ve loved to tease you more, but the sight of you begging and being putty under his hands is the straw that broke the camel’s back. He pulled out his fingers from you and grabbed your legs to lift you up against the wall. While in this position, you can feel his tip rubbing against you. Baji not wanting a moment to go to waste, entered you waiting for you to signal him to enter more until he is fully sheathed within you.

For a while you two stayed like that, basking in this very intimate embrace until you get used to the feeling of him in you. Once you felt ready, you called out to him.

“Keisuke”

“Hmm?”

“Take me.”

Baji gave your lips a peck “Anything my lady wants.”

He then pulled out from you leaving only the tip before slamming back in you. The act caused you to moan and squirm against him spurring him on even more to do it again. The first few moments he gave you slow and heavy thrusts but over time his hips started to move faster and faster leaving you a moaning mess against him. You can hear him growling and snarling as kept thrusting into you bringing you bliss every time. Baji only seemed to get turned on even more as he make love to you. The combination your sounds the feeling of your body against him and the feeling of your insides was driving him over the edge.

He dove for the space between your neck and shoulders and bit you his primal instincts taking over. The feeling of him biting you caused you to grab hold of his hair as you clenched around him.

In turn, the feeling of you clenching around him and pulling his hair only caused him to bite even harder. The act making you clench around him again. And thus it became a cycle throughout your session with his thrusts only growing harder as you two came near your climax. All you could hear was his muffled grunting and growling against your neck, his mouth still occupied by biting you. Not long after the familiar feeling of climax came upon you.

“Keisuke please! I-I”

He paid no attention to your words as kept his pace steady already knowing what’s going on. It didn’t take long until he heard you moan out his name out loud and feeling you cream all over him. He paused for a bit letting you take a breather. He went for a kiss making out with you before continuing to thrust in you again. You let him have his way with you as he chased after his high. A minute or so has passed of him just thrusting up to you until you hear his stuttering moan before feeling him pull out and rubbing himself before shooting out his load. You mimicked his action from earlier and gave him a kiss after his orgasm.

He let you down from your position before pulling you into a hug which you gladly returned. Being in his embrace after such an intimate endeavour felt romantic for you for some reason.

“How are you?” he asked as he strokes your head with so much tenderness you just wanted to melt into him.

“Amazing. I don’t know how else to word it.”

“I wasn’t too rough on you was I?” he asked looking at your bit marks in concern.

You noticed where his gaze was before smiling at him. “I would’ve smacked you upside the head if I didn’t like anything what you were doing. And I told you I’ll take everything you had to offer.”

“That’s good to hear.” He sighed in relief before kissing you. Said kiss started off innocent but eventually grew in fervor where he was now nibbling at your lips.

“B-baji?”

He pulled away and asked you “I know it’s too much to ask of you, but can you handle one more for me?” while caressing your waist.

“H-huh? Already?!” you gaped at him in surprise

“I told you, you’re irresistible to me. And I’ll only do it If you’re ok with it.” He emphasized

You were tired and winded from your first round, but the thought of a second round only aroused you despite what your body feels. You were definitely lying to yourself if you told yourself you didn’t want more.

As an answer to him, you jumped up and wrapped your legs around him again which he swiftly caught. “I’ll be in your care.

Baji definitely lit up hearing your answer. He gave you a deep kiss and said “I promise I’ll take good care for you the whole time.”

And just like that you were once again overwhelmed by the sounds of waterfall, your moans and his grunts inside the shallow cavern from behind the waterfall.

Just as he promised, he took good care of you drying you off, and dressing you up before cuddling you in a soft patch of grass beneath the shade of a tree. His arms felt so warm around you that you couldn’t help but fall asleep.

When you awoke, you realize you were lying down on his lap. The view that greeted you was Baji eating his serving of stir fried noodles. He swallowed the food in his mouth before speaking “Hope you don’t mind me eating while you slept. After all that I got hungry.”

“It’s ok you don’t have to worry about it.” You said as you slowly sat up “Besides better that than waking up to you burning yet another beast. And whose fault was it I was this tired?” you teased

Baji only laughed at your teasing before holding your chin and guiding you to him to give you a kiss. “I’d gladly do all it again if I’m being totally honest.”

You looked at him and said “No one is exactly stopping you.”

He went near your ear and whispered “Is that an invitation?”

You playfully pushed him away “Not right now you doofus.” You said chuckling.

Baji scooped you into his arms and onto his lap hugging you tight “I just wanna gobble you up all day.” He said nuzzling his face on your neck before looking up and giving you another kiss. After having a taste of you he just couldn’t get enough. He wanted to go back for more and more. Baji’s feelings were translated into the kiss where he continued to deepen it while also beginning to nibble on your lips.

You knew where this was going you wanted more of him too, but unfortunately you decided against it tapping on his shoulder before pulling away saliva still connecting you both. You wiped your lips before speaking “Very tempting really, but we should rest. We still have the journey back.”

Baji’s face turned into a pout before burying his face in your neck again his droopy ear tickling your cheek. The sight was too adorable you couldn’t help but pet said soft looking ears. Baji hummed in content as his ears perked up again, taking pleasure in your attention. “Come on, Baji up we go. We still have to set up camp before nightfall.” You coerced while patting his back.

He let out a low whine before standing up picking you up with him which made you giggle while giving him a kiss on the cheek. Once your camp was set up, you two settled for the night, lying down next to each other. It didn’t take long before you’re all over each other again. Both of you agreed not to go further than kissing tonight, after all you still need energy to go home. Who knows how long you two were kissing until you both fell asleep in each other’s arms. Baji holding you close and you holding his fluffy tail.

As you enter the village gates, Akkun happily greeted you “Welcome back! I hope it’s been a safe jou- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?!” he looked you over in concern

“What’s wrong?”

“Look at your neck! You’ve got bites on you! You have to go to a medic right away!” he frantically said while pushing you to a carriage that was supposed to drive you home.

Oh goodness gracious. Baji’s bite marks didn’t even occur to you. You stepped away from his pushy hands and tried to reason with him “C-calm down Akkun. This isn’t anything fatal; otherwise I would’ve been rushing here. It didn’t even break skin, look just bruised.”

Akkun only looked at you in disbelief “A-are you sure sure? Those look pretty gnarly. Might be safer to get it looked over.”

“I’ll be fiiine~ It’s just some troublesome creature that didn’t let go until he was satisfied.” You said looking back at you and Baji’s intimacy. He really didn’t let you go until he was satisfied. You only chuckled at the memory.

“Sorry if I’m a little bit pushy, but are you sureyou don’t want that looked over?”

“I’m sure. It’ll disappear in a few days.” You then remembered how hard Baji was biting you and concluded that a few days might be too short “…maybe.”

You opened the carriage door before turning to the knight “Thanks for the concern Akkun, but I’ll be fine.” You said before boarding.

“Take good care of yourself. I wouldn’t want the reason for a new Red Riding Hood to be appointed because the last one died.” He jokingly said before closing the carriage door and signalling the driver that everything’s ready.

Akkun watched as the vehicle went off still a little bit concerned. Just then a knight came near him and said “I sense that our little Red Riding Hood has been having fun in the forest.”

Akkun gawked at the statement before giving said knight a light punch to the stomach “Get your head out of the gutter, Makoto!” he scolded one of his subordinates.

“I don’t recall any creature that can give such a bite and not break skin.” A knight with glasses stated.

“Not you too, Yamagishi! Takuya help me out here!” Akkun turned to the person who seemed sane along with him in their little team.

Takuya only turned to him and shrugged “I’m somewhat of a biter myself and those looked familiar to me.”

Akkun gave up, these three can be stupid in their own way at times, even more stupid than Yamagishi.

Seasons come and go faster than we realize and before you knew it, winter is upon the land. Since winter is a very harsh weather for travel, Red Riding Hoods are only required to deliver supplies once a month. As much as you’re happy at the little break from your job, you can’t help but be sad too. Seeing Baji less brought your spirits a little down, but a job is a job and you must see through it if you wanna live comfortably.

So here you are the lone red in a backdrop of a harsh white, like blood in snow. It’s not supposed to be there. You hope that thought coming to your mind is not some kind of bad omen.

Sadly fate followed through with that omen. You being the only red thing among the snow, you are very noticeable and a winter beast has been eyeing you for a while now. You noticed that someone or something has been following you, but you assumed that it was just Baji, but when he didn’t turn up you figured that it wasn’t him and now you’re extra vigilant.

As much as you would’ve loved to run, doing so in such a situation can only provoke what’s been following you into chasing you so you did your best not to make any sudden moves.

You were too focused on not spurring whatever’s been following you that you didn’t notice that you’ve already arrived at your destination. You make quick work of locking in the supplies in the drop off point since you suspected that whatever is following you is after the food.

Just as you were locking up, you heard a loud roar which likely came from the beast that’s now making a beeline towards the place containing the food. You tried to jump out of its way but it was still able to reach you and pushed you out of the way quite harshly. You ended but getting scratched by its claws but at least you landed on the soft snow.

You looked at the beast trying to claw at the container, but failing to get it to open. You took that opportunity to run away and put some distance between you and it. The beast having found the container futile, decided to go after the running prey. Just as you think you have lost the beast, you heard it coming near you. So you continued to run away trying to think of a way to shake it off you tail. You were so lost in thought that you didn’t see the branches that you ran into it. You were quick to get up but wasn’t able to run away since your red cloak got caught. You tried to make quick work on it, but you noticed that the beast is gaining on you. You pulled as hard as you could to your cloak that when it was free you stumbled back and hit your head to a nearby tree.

Now feeling a little dizzy, your run was slowed and a little wobbly. You eventually ran into a dead end. The wall didn’t seem to be too high; you know it’s within your abilities to climb it. But with your dizzy state, you were seeing double and that climbing said wall can result to even more injury.

You looked back and saw the beast slowly coming towards you. All you could do was close your eyes and hope that it won’t be painful. And so you waited…

And waited…

Until warmth envelopes you. You didn’t know what’s going on but you welcomed said warmth. It reminded you of the warmth Baji provided whenever he held you close to him. Oh how you so badly wanted him to be here right now.

You opened your eyes and was greeted by red against white. It was the blood of the beast flowing down onto the snow. You processed that someone was holding you and you were greeted by the comforting dark locks and amber gaze of Baji. He looks at you in guilt as if blaming himself of what just happened. You couldn’t stand the look of him bearing the sins of a mindless beast.

You reached out your hand to cup his cheek and gave him a grateful smile. “Baji, thank you. You saved me you have nothing to be guilty about.”

Baji tightened his hold on you and kissed your forehead. “I know, I just felt responsible since you’re very special to me and I want to protect everything that’s special to me.” Baji leaned down and pecked your lips “You’re one of my treasures. I can’t bear to lose you.” He said his eyes on the verge of tears.

“And I’m still here thanks to you. You protected your treasure.” You returned his kiss before hugging him “Baji, I’m tired. Can I go to sleep?”

“Not yet, we have to get you looked over.” He said worry laced in his voice as he gently stroke your head as if trying to push your dizziness away.

“I’ll be in your care.”

You didn’t remember much that happened after. All you could recall was the cold wind against you as Baji rushed through the forest, the sight of a cave above you along with a lilac haired man with matching ears before everything went to black.

Once Baji is sure that you’re settled, he put on his coat and started to head out.

“Where do you think you’re going?” the guy tending your wounds asked.

“Don’t stop me, Mitsuya. That beast’s body is still intact; I’ll go finish it off.”

Mitsuya stood up from beside you and took hs coat. “No you won’t, I’ll handle it. You watch over your precious. She’d be more comforted if she saw a familiar face when she wakes up.”

Baji clenched his fist, his eyes full of vengeance. “I’ll destroy every bit of that beast. I’d make its soul suffer if I could.” He muttered in clenched teeth his rage leaking out.

Mitsuya knew that Baji being in this state will only be bad for him in the end, so he decided to slap some sense into him. Mitsuya grabbed hold of Baji’s face and made him turn to your sleeping state “Look at her! You want to leave her here just so you could satiate your hunger for revenge?! You already killed the thing, she’s already in a safe state now go take care of her. I’ll handle the beast’s body.”

The sight of your peaceful face was enough to soften Baji’s intense anger and admittedly he really didn’t want to leave you here. If he could he would stay with you forever to protect you from ever being harmed again.

Mitsuya sensed that Baji has calmed down and let go of his face. “I’ll be off now. Take care ok?”

Baji only gave out a nod before kneeling down next to you. Mitsuya smiled at the sight of this Baji not having seen it often. But he’s glad that he has someone special that he can be himself with. No wonder he’s been in a good mood lately. And like that he’s off to the forest to leave the two be.

Morning came, and you roused from your slumber taking comfort in the warmth next to you. It was so familiar that you’re sure that it was who you thought it was. You looked up and saw Baji’s sleeping face his hair cascading across his face that he looked to ethereal. You wish you could burn the image into your mind. He’s as handsome as ever. You lifted your hand and slowly pushed the stray hairs on his face to behind his ears, but the action caused him to stir awake.

You waited for him to open his eyes, before flashing him a big smile “Sorry for waking you.”

Baji stayed silent just looking at you before his eyes widened and sat up quickly and leaning on to you. “Y-you’re awake?! Are you feeling ok, you feel anything unusual, hungry, thirsty?” he bombarded you with questions in concern.

Before you could respond, he dove for the bag right next to him and pulled out a canteen and handed it to you. Now that you’re looking at it, you did felt thirsty so you gladly took it and took a big gulp sighing in relief after quenching you thirst. Baji took the canteen from you as you were finished and handed you a container filled with food which you gladly devoured.

Baji only watched you closely trying to see if there’s anything to be concerned about. So far, you’ve been fine but he couldn’t help but worry after yesterday’s display. “How’s the cut on your arm?”

“Hmm?” you swallowed the food still in your mouth and felt around the bandaged wound. “It feels just fine. It’s like it’s never been there in the first place.”

Baji smiled at the information and gently grabbed your arm. He started to remove the bandages causing you to pull your arm in surprise “What are you doing?”

“You’ll see.” He held out his hand waiting for you to place your arm there. You trust Baji so you gave your arm to him.

He continued to remove the bandage and you were expecting to see a nasty wound, but what greeted you was your clean smooth skin which caused you to stare at your arm incredulously. Baji chuckled at your surprised face finding it cute. “A friend of mine patched you up. He’s no medic, but he’s very well prepared for situations like these.” He explained while caressing your healed arm. “He had an ointment on him that medics back home created made from herbs found in the forest. With a forest so big, there are a lot of things unexplored.” He looked up at you “It would seem that your village hasn’t discovered such a thing just yet.”

“That’s amazing!” you said still looking at your completely healed arm.

“I’d teach you to make it if I could, but sadly medicine isn’t a field I’m very knowledgeable with.”

“Then how about your friend? I wish I could’ve met him too.”

Baji chuckled “He doesn’t know how to make it too. He only carries it around because the rest of us can be muscleheads sometimes.”

“Well I get to learn it someday.” You said leaning into him as he hugged you “It would be a great asset to our village.” The thought of your village made you realize something. “How long was I out?” you asked concern written in your eyes.

“You’ve been out for a day. Why, is something wrong?”

“I-I have to get back home quickly!” you said quickly standing causing your vision to swirl. You wobbled but Baji caught you.

“H-hey calm down. Why in such a rush?”

“I have to get home quick!”

“W-why you shouldn’t even be moving too much. The ointment may have healed you but your body is still recovering from healing external wounds. You can’t be out and about right now especially in this cold weather.”

The reminder of the season caused you to shiver, suddenly feeling the cold. Baji tightened his hug when he felt you shiver. “I have to go home.” You said

“That sounded like there was an ‘or else’ was supposed to follow it.”

“I have to go home or… or I’ll be declared dead.” Baji tensed at that statement.

Baji pulled away from you to look at you but still close enough to hold you. “You’ll be declared dead?” he stared at the distance trying to figure it out but came to no reasonable reason “Why?”

“Being a Red Riding Hood is a dangerous job. We’re aware of what we’re getting into. They have a rule set in place where once a Red Riding Hood has not returned in the designated time, they will be declared dead.” You looked at Baji to see his reaction and he is infuriated. You could see his jaw clenching and his body tense ever since you started to explain the situation.

“Why don’t they send out a search party to look for missing Red Riding Hoods? Surely some of them only got lost.”

“Think about it Baji, you yourself are very familiar with the dangers of the forest. Do you think that those who went missing only got lost?”

“Then how about your grandmother, do you believe she’s dead too just because people who are too lazy to look for them declared that they’re dead?” he raised his voice which caused you to flinch a bit. He reached for your hand and you let him “I’m sorry, but you yourself have experienced the loss of someone out here. You still have hope to find your grandmother remember?” he reassured recalling one of your first conversations.

The rule has always been stupid in your eyes, but after years of studying of being a Red Riding Hood, they must have somehow buried that thought deep in you. Brainwashing you into thinking that said rule is a reasonable one. But thinking about it more, said rule is the reason you’re not with your grandmother anymore.

Too much emotion was going through you that you held on to Baji for comfort. In fact, it was too comforting that you ended up falling asleep in his arms. Baji gave the crown of your head a kiss before laying you back down and letting you rest. You need all the rest you can get because he just knows that you’ll insist on getting home once you wake up. He might even just carry you all the way there.

By the time you woke up, it was already evening. You smelled something good and saw Baji roasting something over the fire.

“Well rested?” he asked when he noticed you sit up.

“Like I could run a marathon!”

Baji sweatdropped and tried to reason “M-maybe not to that extent.”

“Well I technically have to run for a long time until I get home.”

“No need for that, I’ll just carry you. You can just enjoy the ride.” He said with a smirk no doubt confident in his abilities.

You chuckled at him “You know, when you say it like that something else comes to my mind you know.” You said blush slowly forming on your cheeks.

There was a slight pause as Baji processed what you just said just staring at you with wide eyes. He then smirked and said “There you are again riling me up.”

“Do you not like it?” you asked teasingly returning the smirk

“Never said such a thing.” He said as he took out whatever he was roasting off the fire.

You stood up and walked over to him not playing around. You lifted your leg over him and sat on his lap facing him. “Getting bold now are we.” He said his smirk growing bigger anticipating what will happen next.

“Are you still taking me for a ride?” you felt up his chest lacing your voice with a sultry tone trying to get him in the mood.

Baji placed his hands at your waist caressing it and occasionally wandering down to your butt. “In what context.” He teased

“You know…ride you.” You went close to him and gave his lips a kitten lick.

“I’m gonna need you to be more specific, darling.” He said before diving into your neck licking you there before giving you the first hickey of the night while also giving your butt a light smack.

“Please Baji! If you don’t take me right now I won’t be feeding you for the next month!”

“You treat me as if I’m some food motivated animal.” He said kissing you

“You sure act like it sometimes.” You responded in between his kisses.

Baji pulled away and looked at you with very dilated pupils. “Oh really? Then…” he lifted you up from where he was sitting and laid you down on your makeshift bed in the cave. “how about I eat you up. You’ll be my delicious meal for tonight.”

He went in to kiss you and took comfort of his tongue intertwined with yours. He indulged himself on your lips for a few more minutes before working to undress you and himself. Not long after, you two were passionately making out in the nude his hair cascading around you acting as sort of like a curtain, your only privacy.

Baji then slowly trailed kisses down to your neck where he placed a few more hickeys before proceeding to your chest. He took hold of it appreciating the feel of it against his hands before suckling on your nipples alternating between the two. After a few bite marks were given to your chest, he gave your tummy kisses.

You gasped when you felt Baji’s breath near your private parts. He adjusted himself and made room to slowly spread your legs. Guess you really were is meal, he looked starved when he caught sight of your glistening folds. Baji sat up and took a hair tie from his clothes and tied his hair back “Gotta make sure nothing gets in the way of my feast.” He placed your legs over his shoulders, held you down and gave your thighs a few bite marks.

Moans came out of your mouth as you felt his tongue give you a long lick tasting. Oh how he loved hearing those sounds knowing that he was the one to cause those. Baji gave her repeated licks savouring the taste of her burning it to his mind because he couldn’t get enough of it.

Baji was relentless, his tongue overwhelming you with sensations completely new to you. His pliant tongue a completely different experience from his thrusts back when you two were behind that waterfall. He was precise and you felt him everywhere, well it felt like it because the feel of him is the only thing you could feel and focus on.

After spending a while tasting your wetness, indulging himself in your taste. He figured he has tasted you enough that he should pay attention to your needs now. But you’d have to disagree as just his curious exploring was pleasurable as it is. Baji went to look for that bundle of nerves, and as soon as he came in contact with it, he felt you squirm away. Baji took hold of your legs on his shoulders and pulled you back and pinning you down. Now you’re a squirming and moaning mess underneath the mercy of his tongue. The stimulation was too much as you tried to squirm away once again but his tight grip on you prevented you from moving even a single inch from him.

The cave you two were in was filled with your moans and his slurping echoing across it which brought you an ounce of embarrassment and arousal. Just hearing those sounds excited you more, there’s something primalin the act of doing it in a cave, the thought bringing you excitement.

You felt around you trying to look for leverage to hold on to ground yourself from these sensations, but you settled at grabbing his hair and pulling occasionally. Since you couldn’t do anything but receive Baji’s actions, you were curious as to what he looked like and so you propped yourself on your elbows and peeked. What greeted you were Baji’s amber eyes staring at you intensely. The sight of Baji staring at you as he ate you out caused more wetness to gush out of you thoroughly aroused at the thought that he’s been watching you from the start.

Baji has been watching you, anticipating every single reaction he pulls out from you. He must know everything about you and how like to be pleasured, learning every single thing that brings you pleasure and excitement and exploiting them. Maybe even take advantage of it for the next time you get intimate. Everything about you just drives him crazy. He was in a daze he couldn’t stop and before he knew it a loud moan greeted his ears as fluids gushed out from you. He licked off every single drop off you clean before sitting up and licking his lips. He admired you and your limp and heavy breathing form, taking pride at his work.

As you were trying to catch your breath, you felt Baji lean over your figure and placed a kiss on your lips. Soon you felt something prodding at your entrance, but not right now. Not just yet. You sat up and pushed Baji into a sitting position with you leaning close to his face.

“That can wait. I have a different plan for now.” You said as you reached your hand behind his head and pulled his hair tie off his hair. You showed the object to Baji before using it to tie your hair back “Gotta make sure nothing gets in the way.” You quoted Baji from earlier which earned a chuckle from him.

You started to mimic how he went down on you. First kissing his neck and also leaving your little hickey before going down to his chest licking and tasting him. You took your time at his abdomen admiring it while also teasing him making him think that you’ll finally go down on him only to lick upwards again. You gave in after hearing him growl. You looked at him and his size seemed to lean on the bigger side. You weren’t sure if you could take all of him in your mouth, but might as well try.

You gave his tip a kiss and a lick before putting it in your mouth, swirling your tongue around just his tip. Trying to tease him more, you licked from the base of his cock all the way up slowly and flicking your tongue as you got to the tip. That seemed to be what caused Baji to snap. He grabbed you by the hair and shoved himself in your mouth. You giggled at his desperation before you started bobbing your head up and down your tongue still working in action.

Baji moaned loudly, throwing his head back as he indulged in the feeling of your mouth sucking him off. But he wasn’t one to pass up the sight of you and your face stuffed with his cock. He looked down and the sight almost made him come. He would’ve been done for if you were looking at him. Baji was quick to pull you away from him and kissing you. All the while kissing you, he pushed you down and hovered over you just appreciating in your beauty.

You could never tire of the view you have above you right now. Dishevelled hair around you both, his glistening lips, and the warm light of the bonfire made him appear even more sexier. It’s like everything around you was adjusting to you and Baji. Nothing else mattered except this moment between you two.

“Be a good girl for me and lie on your stomach, would you.”

Anything for him. You repositioned yourself and waited for Baji to make a move. You felt him kiss the small of your back his loose hair tickling you and made you squirm a little causing your butt to brush up to something hard.

Baji chuckled “Eager now, are we.” Ah, looks like he mistook it. No matter, you’ll both feel good later on anyway.

Baji’s hands explored your smooth back appreciating the feel of it against his hands and how you react to his every single touch whether it be a slight twitch or a whimper out of you, it excites him even more.

He leaned down to your ear “You ready?”

Once he saw you nod in response, he bit at your neck whilst inserting himself inside you. The feeling of each other’s closeness had you two letting out hot breaths, calming yourselves and letting you adjust to him. When you gave him the go ahead, he started ramming his hips into you. He couldn’t help himself from ravaging you, he’s been holding himself back ever since from the start.

You felt him lean down and felt his chest come into contact with your back as he continued to thrust into you. His pace started to quicken even more so you grabbed the nearest thing to you as leverage which happened to be Baji’s coat.

As soon as he saw you clutching at his coat, it sent him into overdrive standing on his knees and elevating your hips and holding your head down. He gave your butt a few smacks then proceeding to drive his hips into you once again. Baji pulled your hair up causing you to be on all fours.

“Look at you taking me so well.” He moaned out biting your neck once again “This is the third time I’ve been in you, right? You took me so well all times. Made me feel real good I couldn’t stop thinking about you after that.” He said between grunts.

Just as he said those words, he felt you clench at him “A-ahn~ you r-really do like praises huh.”

“You remember that? When I brought you back for the first time. You liked it when I sang you praises. Guess it carries over here too huh. Agh!” your insides clenched at him again. He grabbed your chin and made you face him “Driving me crazy here.” He kissed your lips tongue never failing to explore you.

After a few minutes of you two going at it, you eventually arrived at your climax which had you plop down on the makeshift bed ass still up. Baji rubbed himself a few more times before covering your back in white letting out a sigh of satisfaction.

Your back covered in his cum aroused him again; it makes him want to cover you with even more. But he knows he can’t, you still have to rest for tomorrow’s journey. He leaned down at your shoulder and bit down as his last ditch effort to satiate his current hunger, but sadly it only turned him on even more as he heard you moan in response to his bite.

You can tell that Baji is still raring to go but is holding himself back. “Keisuke,” you called in a breathy voice still trying to catch your breath “What’s stopping you?”

“Tomorrow, you need rest for tomorrow.” He kissed you again finding your dazed look to be irresistible.

“I thought you offered to carry me all the way home.” You teased

“I did say that.”

“And speaking of rides,” You sat up and sat on his lap, your cunt sliding against his already semi hard cock “I haven’t gotten my ride for tonight.”

Baji relented, grabbing your waist and guiding you to hover over his cock. “Do as you please.” He said with a smirk licking your collarbone.

Slowly, you sank yourself onto him with Baji’s arms stiff on your waist restraining himself from just slamming you down on him. It’s your ride, you do as you please. But goodness you sure are a good way to train his self-control because you keep testing him. By the time he’s fully in you, you caught sight of his knitted brows and a few droplets of sweat on his forehead.

You decide to spare him and slowly bounced yourself on him with Baji groaning in pleasure in response. You felt his hand on your waist go tighter. You can tell that he wants more, but you decide to just go at your pace going slowly. You low-key anticipate the impending rough treatment of you when he gets fed up with your ‘teasing’.

It didn’t take long before he’s biting on your neck and is now the one bouncing you on his cock. Baji laid on his back and continued to thrust up into you. You were glad he took initiative in this situation because you weren’t sure if your thighs could hold you up any longer considering his treatment of you in your first round.

Soon enough, you billowed out a moan your body twitching ever so slightly before collapsing on his chest. Baji pulled out of you and closed your thighs together and thrusted in there instead. The feeling of your soft lower lips and thighs rubbing him was what brought him to his second climax of the night. He felt you slowly dozing off on him. He pulled the blanket over the two of you before repositioning you into a much more comfortable sleeping position. He made sure to clean up the both of you before going to sleep himself.

You were woken up with Baji shaking you. When you woke up you were already dressed. “Time to go.”

You yawned and stretched before getting up preparing to leave. Travelling through the forest on a wolf’s perspective is a very new experience. You can’t help but close your eyes in bliss as you felt the wind in your hair blowing against you from the speed Baji was running. You vaguely remember this feeling when you were still injured after he saved you from the beast. You’re just happy you get to experience it again more clearly.

Baji suddenly came to a stop and when you looked ahead there are the gates of your village. On a normal circumstance you’d be happy at the sight of your home, but right now you’re only filled with dread. The gate lock was adorned with a red ribbon.

You hopped off Baji and approached said ribbon. “We’re too late.”

“What?! But you still have the rest of the day to return!”

“I know. They sure are quick to claim my death. Guess that’s that then.”

“You’re just gonna let them do that?!”

“Baji, once the ribbon is set there’s no way they’ll let me in anymore. It’s another one of those stupid rules. I’m not welcome here anymore.”

After all the work you did for them, they’re gonna dispose of you just like that??? Hell no, fuck those bastards, you’re not going back there. “You still have another place you’re welcome to go home to.”

Baji held his hand out to you “Come home with me. You’re more than welcome there. The pack would love you!”

You immediately took his hand. “If I’m being totally honest, I would prefer to be with you rather than stay in a place where not a lot cares about me. I missed you a lot when I couldn’t see you.”

Baji pulled you in for a hug and kissed you. “You’ve always been in my mind too. Now we don’t have to be apart anymore. We can be together whenever we want, wherever we want.”

“Let’s go to your home then.”

“Our home.” He corrected

“Yes, our home.”

And with that the two of you ran into the forest ready to start a new chapter in your lives where a new companion is by their side.

#baji keisuke x reader #baji x reader #baji keisuke smut #baji keisuke #baji x y/n #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo revengers x y/n #baji #tokyo revengers x reader #keisuke baji #baji scenarios #baji imagines

[qqueenofhades]

Hi. I’m curious. What did you mean by “women who read fiction might get Bad Ideas!!!” has just reached its latest and stupidest form via tumblr purity culture.? I haven’t seen any of this but I’m new to tumblr.

Oh man. You really want to get me into trouble on, like, my first day back, don’t you?

Pretty much all of this has been explained elsewhere by people much smarter than me, so this isn’t necessarily going to say anything new, but I’ll do my best to synthesize and summarize it. As ever, it comes with the caveat that it is my personal interpretation, and is not intended as the be-all, end-all. You’ll definitely run across it if you spend any time on Tumblr (or social media in general, including Twitter, and any other fandom-related spaces). This will get long.

In short: in the nineteenth century, when Gothic/romantic literature became popular and women were increasingly able to read these kinds of novels for fun, there was an attendant moral panic over whether they, with their weak female brains, would be able to distinguish fiction from reality, and that they might start making immoral or inappropriate choices in their real life as a result. Obviously, there was a huge sexist and misogynistic component to this, and it would be nice to write it off entirely as just hysterical Victorian pearl-clutching, but that feeds into the “lol people in the past were all much stupider than we are today” kind of historical fallacy that I often and vigorously shut down. (Honestly, I’m not sure how anyone can ever write the “omg medieval people believed such weird things about medicine!” nonsense again after what we’ve gone through with COVID, but that is a whole other rant.) The thinking ran that women shouldn’t read novels for fear of corrupting their impressionable brains, or if they had to read novels at all, they should only be the Right Ones: i.e., those that came with a side of heavy-handed and explicit moralizing so that they wouldn’t be tempted to transgress. Of course, books trying to hammer their readers over the head with their Moral Point aren’t often much fun to read, and that’s not the point of fiction anyway. Or at least, it shouldn’t be.

Fast-forward to today, and the entire generation of young, otherwise well-meaning people who have come to believe that being a moral person involves only consuming the “right” kind of fictional content, and being outrageously mean to strangers on the internet who do not agree with that choice. There are a lot of factors contributing to this. First, the advent of social media and being subject to the judgment of people across the world at all times has made it imperative that you demonstrate the “right” opinions to fit in with your peer-group, and on fandom websites, that often falls into a twisted, hyper-critical, so-called “progressivism” that diligently knows all the social justice buzzwords, but has trouble applying them in nuance, context, and complicated real life. To some extent, this obviously is not a bad thing. People need to be critical of the media they engage with, to know what narratives the creator(s) are promoting, the tropes they are using, the conclusions that they are supporting, and to be able to recognize and push back against genuinely harmful content when it is produced – and this distinction is critical – by professional mainstream creators. Amateur, individual fan content is another kettle of fish. There is a difference between critiquing a professional creator (though social media has also made it incredibly easy to atrociously abuse them) and attacking your fellow fan and peer, who is on the exact same footing as you as a consumer of that content.

Obviously, again, this doesn’t mean that you can’t call out people who are engaging in actually toxic or abusive behavior, fans or otherwise. But certain segments of Tumblr culture have drained both those words (along with “gaslighting”) of almost all critical meaning, until they’re applied indiscriminately to “any fictional content that I don’t like, don’t agree with, or which doesn’t seem to model healthy behavior in real life” and “anyone who likes or engages with this content.” Somewhere along the line, a reactionary mindset has been formed in which the only fictional narratives or relationships are those which would be “acceptable” in real life, to which I say…. what? If I only wanted real life, I would watch the news and only read non-fiction. Once again, the underlying fear, even if it’s framed in different terms, is that the people (often women) enjoying this content can’t be trusted to tell the difference between fiction and reality, and if they like “problematic” fictional content, they will proceed to seek it out in their real life and personal relationships. And this is just… not true.

As I said above, critical media studies and thoughtful consumption of entertainment are both great things! There have been some great metas written on, say, the Marvel Cinematic Universe and how it is increasingly relying on villains who have outwardly admirable motives (see: the Flag Smashers in The Falcon and the Winter Soldier) who are then stigmatized by their anti-social, violent behavior and attacks on innocent people, which is bad even as the heroes also rely on violence to achieve their ends. This is a clever way to acknowledge social anxieties – to say that people who identify with the Flag Smashers are right, to an extent, but then the instant they cross the line into violence, they’re upsetting the status quo and need to be put down by the heroes. I watched TFATWS and obviously enjoyed it. I have gone on a Marvel re-watching binge recently as well. I like the MCU! I like the characters and the madcap sci-fi adventures! But I can also recognize it as a flawed piece of media that I don’t have to accept whole-cloth, and to be able to criticize some of the ancillary messages that come with it. It doesn’t have to be black and white.

When it comes to shipping, moreover, the toxic culture of “my ship is better than your ship because it’s Better in Real Life” ™ is both well-known and in my opinion, exhausting and pointless. As also noted, the whole point of fiction is that it allows us to create and experience realities that we don’t always want in real life. I certainly enjoy plenty of things in fiction that I would definitely not want in reality: apocalyptic space operas, violent adventures, and yes, garbage men. A large number of my ships over the years have been labeled “unhealthy” for one reason or another, presumably because they don’t adhere to the stereotype of the coffee-shop AU where there’s no tension and nobody ever makes mistakes or is allowed to have serious flaws. And I’m not even bagging on coffee-shop AUs! Some people want to remove characters from a violent situation and give them that fluff and release from the nonstop trauma that TV writers merrily inflict on them without ever thinking about the consequences. Fanfiction often focuses on the psychology and healing of characters who have been through too much, and since that’s something we can all relate to right now, it’s a very powerful exercise. As a transformative and interpretive tool, fanfic is pretty awesome.

The problem, again, comes when people think that fic/fandom can only be used in this way, and that going the other direction, and exploring darker or complicated or messy dynamics and relationships, is morally bad. As has been said before: shipping is not activism. You don’t get brownie points for only having “healthy” ships (and just my personal opinion as a queer person, these often tend to be heterosexual white ships engaging in notably heteronormative behavior) and only supporting behavior in fiction that you think is acceptable in real life. As we’ve said, there is a systematic problem in identifying what that is. Ironically, for people worried about Women Getting Ideas by confusing fiction and reality, they’re doing the same thing, and treating fiction like reality. Fiction is fiction. Nobody actually dies. Nobody actually gets hurt. These people are not real. We need to normalize the idea of characters as figments of a creator’s imagination, not actual people with their own agency. They exist as they are written, and by the choice of people whose motives can be scrutinized and questioned, but they themselves are not real. Nor do characters reflect the author’s personal views. Period.

This feeds into the fact that the internet, and fandom culture, is not intended as a “safe space” in the sense that no questionable or triggering content can ever be posted. Archive of Our Own, with its reams of scrupulous tagging and requests for you to explicitly click and confirm that you are of age to see M or E-rated content, is a constant target of the purity cultists for hosting fictional material that they see as “immoral.” But it repeatedly, unmistakably, directly asks you for your consent to see this material, and if you then act unfairly victimized, well… that’s on you. You agreed to look at this, and there are very few cases where you didn’t know what it entailed. Fandom involves adults creating contents for adults, and while teenagers and younger people can and do participate, they need to understand this fact, rather than expecting everything to be a PG Disney movie.

When I do write my “dark” ships with garbage men, moreover, they always involve a lot of the man being an idiot, being bluntly called out for an idiot, and learning healthier patterns of behavior, which is one of the fundamental patterns of romance novels. But they also involve an element of the woman realizing that societal standards are, in fact, bullshit, and she can go feral every so often, as a treat. But even if I wrote them another way, that would still be okay! There are plenty of ships and dynamics that I don’t care for and don’t express in my fic and fandom writing, but that doesn’t mean I seek out the people who do like them and reprimand them for it. I know plenty of people who use fiction, including dark fiction, in a cathartic way to process real-life trauma, and that’s exactly the role – one of them, at least – that fiction needs to be able to fulfill. It would be terribly boring and limited if we were only ever allowed to write about Real Life and nothing else. It needs to be complicated, dark, escapist, unreal, twisted, and whatever else. This means absolutely zilch about what the consumers of this fiction believe, act, or do in their real lives.

Once more, I do note the misogyny underlying this. Nobody, after all, seems to care what kind of books or fictional narratives men read, and there’s no reflection on whether this is teaching them unhealthy patterns of behavior, or whether it predicts how they’ll act in real life. (There was some of that with the “do video games cause mass shootings?”, but it was a straw man to distract from the actual issues of toxic masculinity and gun culture.) Certain kinds of fiction, especially historical fiction, romance novels, and fanfic, are intensely gendered and viewed as being “women’s fiction” and therefore hyper-criticized, while nobody’s asking if all the macho-man potboiler military-intrigue tough-guy stereotypical “men’s fiction” is teaching them bad things. So the panic about whether your average woman on the internet is reading dark fanfic with an Unhealthy Ship (zomgz) is, in my opinion, misguided at best, and actively destructive at worst.

#long post #anonymous #ask

[alliedbiscuit]

msr fic / s7 post-closure but pre-all things / wc: 3398

Scully takes Maggie out for a birthday dinner, and you'll never guess who they run into.

************

“So, how are feeling about dessert?” the waiter asks hopefully.

Maggie Scully scoffs. “Oh, no. I couldn’t eat another bite. Maybe just a cup of coffee? Decaf, please.”

“Mom, are you sure? You should get dessert,” Dana Scully prods, stopping herself short before she could let it slip, “It’s your birthday!” The last gift her mother would appreciate is a gaggle of underpaid waiters singing some public-domain-compliant version of a birthday song while the whole restaurant turns its attention toward her. Like mother, like daughter.

Well, the daughter made an exception and found that kind of thing charming exactly once. But at least she got a nice keychain out of it. All her mother would get was humiliation and a chocolate lava cake.

As soon as the waiter leaves to fetch their after dinner coffees, Maggie reveals her true intentions.

“I was thinking we could go to that ice cream parlor down the street. If I’m going to indulge, I think I want a hot fudge sundae. Or maybe we could split a banana split?”

“Or you could get a hot fudge sundae and I could get a banana split, and we could split both,” Scully suggests.

“See, that’s why you work for the FBI.”

“Dessert Conflict Resolution was part of my training at Quantico.”

Both Scullys giggle.

“Does Fox have the same specialty? Or is that what you bring to the team?”

“Mulder’s dessert strategy is just to eat everything and then swim a mile and run five the next day. No, he’s a Takeout Menu Marksman, though. He knows where to order from and what to order so it travels the best and doesn’t get cold and congealed by the time it arrives. Might sound like a trivial skill, but it’s a lifesaver on movie night.”

Maggie continues smiling but cocks her head slightly. Dana realizes why almost instantly.

“You have movie night?”

“It’s not a set thing or anything. We just…if we’re not busy with a case.”

“You just watch movies? As coworkers?”

“As friends.”

“Just friends?”

Dana lets out a long sigh as she stares her mother down. Her mother, maintaining that gentle yet challenging grin. Dana considers her response carefully. She could offer a simple yes because that is the fact of the matter. They are just friends. She could criticize the wording choice. “Just” friends? Why does it have to be “just” friends? As if friendship isn’t somehow enough or isn’t valuable?

She could realize it’s her mother’s birthday and she’s the only other Scully woman left to confide in about matters of the heart, and although she doesn’t want to bring up the New Year’s kiss because she still doesn’t really know what it meant, maybe they both need this little gift of honesty, filled with tempered excitement and promise.

“For now,” Dana Scully finally admits.

Maggie’s grin grows as Scully just shakes her head and manages to keep her slight eye roll from reaching embarrassed teenager level. The waiter does bail her out a bit by choosing that moment to deliver their coffees.

“How is Fox doing? After his mother…” Maggie trails off, but her daughter knows not to expect any more specifics.

“Better? I mean, as well as can be expected. The thing is, right after that, he found out some more about his sister. About what happened to her. It was just so much all at once. I was really worried…”

Maggie reaches across the table to lay a hand on hers.

“But, it was almost like he was ready for it. He finally had some answers. Like it brought him some peace.”

“That’s wonderful.”

“Yeah. He needed that.”

“We all do.”

*************

Maggie is the one to spot him first as they’re heading for the door.

“Is that- is that Fox?” she asks her daughter.

“What? No, he wouldn't…” Dana trails off as she looks straight ahead to where her mother was indicating and confirms that it is indeed Fox Mulder, standing with his hands in his pockets and his eyes trained to the floor as he appears to be waiting near the vestibule for the restrooms.

“Mulder?” Scully questions as she approaches, her voice giving away her confusion and growing concern.

His head darts up in surprise, but a beaming smile of recognition quickly overtakes his face.

“Hey, Scully! Mrs. Scully, it’s so nice to see you!”

“You too, Fox,” Maggie kindly replies, although a quick glance to her daughter confirms her suspicion that Dana is still very confused by his presence.

“Did you…did you need something?” She suddenly feels silly for presuming that he must have come there with urgent news or a case or something, but why else would Fox Mulder be at Petrino’s on a Saturday night? Did his informants trade in clandestine meetings in parking garages for family-style Italian?

“Hmm?” Mulder asks.

“You didn’t come here to find me? I told you I was bringing my mom here for her birthday, didn’t I?” He didn’t look like he had rushed to the restaurant from the office or his apartment as she had originally assumed. He had clearly shaved and combed his hair nicely. He wore an olive green sweater with dark blue jeans and a black wool pea coat rather than his leather jacket. He had definitely made an effort.

“You did, but I thought you were going out tomorrow night on her actual birthday. Happy birthday, by the way, Mrs. Scully.”

“Thank you, Fox. I’m going to have lunch with some ladies from church after mass tomorrow, so I asked Dana if we could do Saturday night instead.”

“Ah. What a weird coincidence then. I can’t believe we didn’t see you at all during dinner.”

We.

Oh God.

Mulder was on a date.

Mulder was on a date in this restaurant on the night he thought Scully wasn’t going to be there. Mulder was on a date right after Scully had confessed to her mother (and herself) that their “just friends” status was in the process of changing. Mulder was on a date right after he’d been through so much pain but seemed to come out lighter and more open and he wanted to share it with someone…who wasn’t Dana Scully.

“So, you’ve already eaten then?” Maggie asks since her daughter appears unable to form a coherent statement at the moment.

“Yeah, we just finished. I’m just waiting for her…” he seems to trail off just to motion towards the restroom rather than say anything indelicate, but then he notices Maggie’s poorly masked look of concern toward Dana, and then he notices Dana’s completely unmasked look of shock.

And then he gets it.

“Oh, no! It’s not…I want you to meet her,” Mulder insists as he grabs a hold of both of Scully’s elbows and then glances anxiously toward the restroom door.

Dana Scully looks like she might be ill.

Thankfully Mulder only stammers a moment longer until the restroom door opens and he finds reprieve when a tall, thin woman appearing to be in her mid-60s walks through the door.

“Aunt Helen,” Mulder calls.

Somehow Scully’s eyes manage to get even wider as some of the color returns to her face.

“Aunt Helen, there are a few people I’d really like you to meet. This is my partner, Dana Scully, and this is her mother, Margaret Scully.”

Aunt Helen smiles widely in recognition, first shaking Maggie’s hand and then Dana’s. “It is such a pleasure to meet you both. I’ve heard such wonderful things.”

She lingers with her hand holding Dana’s while she says this, and the younger Scully is left blushing. She hazards a look at Mulder, but he doesn’t look embarrassed by this revelation. He holds her gaze with nothing but pride.

“This is my aunt, Helen Briggs. She’s my mom’s sister. She’s visiting for the weekend from Charlotte.”

They all kind of marvel over the fact that they were in the same restaurant and what a coincidence and oh, we were seated near the back bar, that must be why we didn’t see you and Scully is just starting to feel her pulse return to normal as Aunt Helen laments not having a chance to talk with the Scullys.

“Well, Dana and I skipped dessert so we could go to The Big Dipper for some ice cream. Would you two like to join us?”

“Oh, that would be lovely. As long as we’re not intruding,” says Aunt Helen.

“Not at all,” Scully assures her. “There is one catch, though.”

“It’s not real ice cream. It’s that Tofutti nonsense, isn’t it?” Mulder groans.

“It better not be,” Maggie insists. “I don’t know how she eats that stuff.”

Scully ignores her mother and her partner’s bad mouthing of her frozen treats as she returns her attention to Aunt Helen.

“I’m afraid if you want to come along, you will have to reveal a few good Young Mulder stories. And by ‘a few,’ I mean as many as you’ve got. And by ‘good,’ I mean the more embarrassing the better.”

“I’ll start thinking now,” Aunt Helen laughs.

“I knew I should’ve picked a different restaurant,” Mulder says regretfully.

***********

They’ve just sat down to a small, round table for four with their ice cream when Mulder stands up to get them all more napkins, and Aunt Helen retrieves a small, rectangular piece of paper from her purse that she then deftly slides to Dana.

“Oh my god!” Scully exclaims with joy.

Staring back at her from the paper is a very young Fox Mulder. She guesses he must be around 8 or 9 in the school photo. His long, sandy brown hair falls just above his eyebrows. He doesn’t have his distinctive nose yet, but his bottom lip is already a little pouty. The real give away is the eyes. He’s grinning for the camera, but his eyes still have that soulfulness, that slight sadness.

She’s surprised. She knows she shouldn’t be. His eyes didn’t suddenly change when Samantha was taken. His eyes were probably always like that.

But she had always assumed that the great tragedy had flipped a switch for Young Fox Mulder. That before that single event, he had certainly been a perfectly happy child. Funny and athletic, popular for sure. But the humor developed as a defense mechanism later in life. And the sports were a great physical release as well as an excuse to be out of the house as much as possible. She didn’t actually know what he was like before, but now that she thought about it, home life was probably never all that great if it eventually led to a father sacrificing one child and leaving the other to always live with the guilt and loss.

It was very possible that Fox Mulder had always been a little boy with a lot on his mind.

In contrast, present day, adult Fox Mulder looks like he doesn’t have a care in the world as he returns with extra napkins, ready to tuck into his chocolate peanut butter ice cream in a waffle cone – that is until he realizes what his friend and partner Dana Scully is looking at.

“Oh come on. I was gone for thirty seconds, and you have the visual aids out.”

Scully continues to beam as Maggie finally gets a glimpse of the photo in her hand.

“Oh, Fox!”

“Okay,” Mulder said exasperatedly. “Does this meet your embarrassment quota?” he asks, looking pointedly at Scully.

“Not even close! This isn’t embarrassing. It’s adorable!”

Mulder rolls his eyes but can’t hide his bashful grin at her comment.

“It’s only fair, Fox. I know you’ve seen family photos of Dana at my house,” Mrs. Scully says, sounding like a mother well practiced in settling disputes between children.

“Just a couple. I do like that high school graduation picture, though. I still don’t know how you kept your cap on with all that hair.”

“That was the style back then. Everybody teased their hair and used a ton of hairspray.”

“I thought it might be a religious thing at Catholic school. The higher the hair, the closer to God,” Mulder teases.

Maggie and Aunt Helen chuckle, though the latter gives him a good-natured swat on the arm in admonishment.

“See, this is what I need, though. I need something from the teen years. That’s peak embarrassment fodder,” Scully says.

“If you ask our colleagues, I think my peak embarrassment fodder would come from about 1991 to present,” Mulder points out.

Aunt Helen just looks slightly regretful. “I’m afraid I don’t have many stories from those years, Dana.”

Mulder makes eye contact with Aunt Helen. “You didn’t miss much,” he insists. She looks like she wants to debate him, but he just places a hand on hers reassuringly, and they seem to make a silent agreement to not argue the point any further.

Mulder had never really mentioned any other family before. She knew his grandparents had all passed before she met him, but she had assumed, just like with everything else, that any other extended family connections had disappeared along with Samantha. That no one would know how to comfort and console The Mulders in a situation like that, with no explanation.

His aunts and uncles must have had questions, probably even had their own theories. Did his mother’s side suspect his father’s involvement, or did his father’s side blame his mother somehow? Did any of them blame…no, she couldn’t go down that route. Besides, did anyone ever suspect horrific things like that before the days of cable news and supermarket tabloids?

The point is, it was a tense situation, so Scully assumed they had all done what wealthy white people in places like Martha’s Vineyard and Boston and Raleigh did with any uncomfortable subject – they avoided it completely.

And that meant avoiding the little boy with a lot on his mind as he became a teenager with even more on his mind.

Scully had accompanied Mulder to a small burial service for his mother in Raleigh a few months ago. It was just the service. No gathering or dinner after, or at least not one that Mulder told her about. The attendees at the service were all pretty spread out, not much mingling. Again, it was another sudden loss shrouded in mystery. They all avoided particulars as much as they could.

Scully didn’t remember seeing Aunt Helen that day, but maybe she was there and just couldn’t bring herself to say anything. Maybe she wasn’t there because she couldn’t bring herself to go and then regretted it. Dana Scully didn’t know, and it didn’t actually matter. The point is that she’s here now. And that’s exactly what Mulder’s look of reassurance and acceptance seems to say.

It seems to help her perk up because she offers playfully, “Oh, what about that summer on Quonochontaug? I think you were 9 or so, and you were collecting leaves for one of your Indian Guide badges.”

“Oh god!”

“I’m hooked already. Not to jump ahead, but please tell me there’s poison ivy involved,” Scully says gleefully.

Aunt Helen’s bark of laughter and Mulder’s exaggerated eye roll are all the confirmation she needs.

“It was heavily involved! But that’s not the worst part. While he was working on his Leaf Collecting badge, he also earned credit towards his Wildlife badge when he came across a skunk in the woods.”

“No!” Scully shouts.

“Ivyed and skunked at the same time,” Mulder admits.

“Oh you poor thing,” Maggie adds sympathetically, but with barely contained laughter.

“He had to jump right from a tomato juice bath for the skunk smell…”

“Which didn’t work!”

“…into an oatmeal bath for the itching.”

“Which worked better, but I still smelled like a Grateful Dead concert.”

Both Scullys are full on giggling at this point.

“Do you remember what Grandpa Ralph said when he walked in and saw you and mom dunking me in a tub of oatmeal?” Mulder asks.

Aunt Helen pitches her voice deeper and amps up her Southern twang, “Why don’t cha dip him in some egg and flour next? We toss him in the frying pan, we got supper! We’re havin’ Fried Fox tonight!”

Now they’re all in hysterics. Even the man who usually hates his given name can’t help but laugh along, especially when it makes his lovely company so happy.

*****************

Scully enters the basement office Monday morning to find Mulder already there, flipping through an open drawer in the filing cabinet.

“Good morning,” she says cheerfully.

He looks up and smiles. “Good morning. Long time no see.”

“How was the rest of your weekend? Did you guys do any sightseeing or anything?”

“No, we just had a late breakfast yesterday before I took her to the airport, but it was good to catch up some more. She told me to thank you again for letting us tag along for ice cream. It was really nice.”

“It was,” Scully agrees.

Mulder appears to be considering something for a moment before he crosses over to the desk and picks up a small envelope.

“She also told me to give this to you,” he says almost bashfully, extending the envelope in Scully’s direction. “She told me I couldn’t look inside, and I didn’t. But I think I know what’s in there, and if I’m right, you don’t have to keep it. You can just leave it here on the desk.”

Well, now she’s intrigued. Scully opens the envelope to find a small handwritten note at the top.

“I thought you might like these. I have plenty more too, if you’d ever like to see them or want any more stories. Please don’t be a stranger.”

Scully lifts up the note to see the remaining contents inside and finds a small stack of photographs, a mixture of more school photos along with a few wallet-sized family portraits and a couple candids taken on the beaches of the Vineyard or Rhode Island, she can’t tell. But she sees the same set of eyes in all of them.

She looks back to read the rest of the note.

“I’m so glad I got to meet you, Dana. Take care!”

Below Aunt Helen’s elegant signature, she has also written her home address and phone number. Scully will have to call and thank her.

“She tried to give some to me,” Mulder explains, “but I didn’t really want…and like I said, you don’t have to…”

“No, I’d like to keep them,” Dana insists.

Mulder lets her statement hang in the air for a moment, but he can’t help but diffuse it.

“You just want more blackmail material.”

“Something like that,” Scully says teasingly, but there’s no bite behind it.

“I knew I should’ve picked a different restaurant.”

She chuckles lightly as she shuffles the photos into a neat stack to place back in the envelope, thinking that this is the point where they get back to work. Mulder stays standing in front of her and appears to be considering something again. Does he have another envelope that he’s afraid to give her?

“You know it was pure luck that we ended up at Petrino’s the same night as you. I actually gave Aunt Helen a few options and let her choose. I was pushing more for that Thai place in Arlington, just off Old Dominion. The one that’s been there forever,” Mulder explains.

“Oh, the one with the secret menu? I’ve still never been there. Can’t say I’m surprised that Aunt Helen wasn’t up for Thai food, though.”

“Yeah. Fair point,” Mulder nods for a moment too long before continuing. “Would you like to go there sometime? Like this Saturday? With me?”

Scully slowly looks up from the envelope to see Mulder’s face because in all matters, other than the divine, Dana Scully needs to see to believe. And the slightly nervous yet gentle grin that she finds allows her to believe it to be true – Fox Mulder has just asked her out on a real date.

“I would like that,” Scully says gently.

“Good. You wanna say 7:30? Or we can always figure out time later,” Mulder states, aiming for practicality to keep him from grinning like a complete idiot. He ends up grinning like a moderate idiot, but he’s okay with that.

“Sounds good.”

Yep, Scully will definitely have to call Aunt Helen and thank her.

#msr fanfic #txf fanfic #msr #mulder and scully #dana scully #maggie scully #fox mulder

[hmspogue]

Outer Banks season 2 Official Trailer shot-by-shot rundown

A comprehensive post where I scream about analyze the entire trailer frame by frame for clues, theories, and plot. Just my own opinions and general tin foil-hatting

These are screenshots from Netflix’s trailer for Outer Banks season 2. I do not claim or own any of these.

note: this post is tagged as a long post if you wish to avoid having to scroll until your thumbs break.

“My old man used to tell me, ‘it’s best to never say you’ve hit rock bottom’.”

(Putting all of these shots together since they’re scenes we already know but-) Holy shit, okay let’s just....start off like this I guess, damn.

“'Trust me’, he said...”

Kiara looking back and forth between the boys like this really just feeds the headcanon I have that her form of grief this season is going to be her trying to hold it together for their sakes (and eventually just snapping).

JJ just looks fucking furious someone give these kids a hug? I already know this scene is going to ruin me.

“You can always go...”

JJ back working at the hotel. He looks literally so angry again in this scene I could see him self destructing at work and losing his job? (Please do not be isolating yourself you beautiful son of a bitch even though I know you’re going to).

Pope in the Twinkie (costuming wise they all are in warmer looking clothes for some of the shots, so just confirming it’s a little bit into the school year when this all takes place).

“Lower”

Big John was real big into pep talks, I see. (seriously can you imagine Big John having this conversation with like 8 year old John B after he fucking dropped his ice cream cone or some shit I shouldn’t be laughing).

I’m just-

These poor kids, I wanna know how the police all the way down in the Bahama’s knew about them?

Their calves....

“RUN!”

Are going to be so fucking jacked by the end of this season I stg.

Fuck you.

“The gold from the Royal Merchant....it’s here.”

For a while, I had thought that maybe they didn’t even make it to the Bahama’s at the front of the season and ended there (because everyone had been filming in there). But I guess they’re going to be making two trips.

If I were a bird from this POV I’d shit right on that house no questions asked.

oooooh ho hokay. Just so we’re clear. Ward Cameron not only get away with murder and about two dozen other felonies, but-

“Half a billion.”

HE STILL FINDS THE GOLD IN THE CRAIN HOUSE AND GETS TO KEEP IT?

Not the polo with the snap back, I just know this man has a playlist called Sad Boi Hours that is just Juice WRLD’s top 5 songs on Spotify and he tells his friends they wouldn’t know the underground artists he listens to.

Sh, you have lost screaming privileges. Go inside and take a nap maybe.

“John B, we are fugitives in a foreign country.”

So, previously, I was talking about how I was confused how they would still be trying to find him is everyone thought he was dead, but here the wanted poster clearly says “presumed lost at sea”. I think that will be interesting to see how the Pogues all interpret that. 

Especially because they already had a memorial for John B and everything, I wonder if there will be any part of the Pogues holding out hope that they both could still be out there OUCH.

I’m going to circle back to this, but it looks like John B and Sarah are going to get separated for a little while in this man hunt, I could see my idiot himbo son trying to sacrifice himself so Sarah can get away but in reality just....stranding her.

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid?”

Oh, sweetie....

“Well, Sarah Cameron, I do stupid things all the time without realizing it.”

The volume of his self awareness is astronomical. sir, that is your whole character summed up in your own words.

GOD, IT’S ME AGAIN. PLEASE LET THEM LEAN INTO COMPLETE HIMBO JOHN B THIS SEASON I’LL DO ANYTHING-

nyyooooOOOOOOOOOOOOM-

“Hold on!”

The complete abject terror I would feel having John Booker Routledge driving get-away and then saying the words “Hold on” while reaching fro the gear shift? The english language fails me. 

Sarah, bestie, I’m so sorry.

I just wanna know-

what the plan or objective was in this situation. What was the reason for being this dramatic.

Rest in piss, bozo <3

“Ward’s still out there...”

Okay, same conversation they were having as before. I wonder what makes them decide they need to get back to the OBX for this tho.

“I can clear my name. This can all be over in one shot.”

It looks like Topper watching this but way more concerningly, correct me if I’m wrong but this 100% looks like....John B gets caught. And the DEATH PENALTY?! He did have a mug shot for the fliers in s1 and the one above but he was never brought in? Plus he just looks super dirty and dishevled in this one so I-

Jail break anyone?

I also still want to know if they’re going to go with a Topper redemption arc this season. like, does he know more than he should just from being around Rafe and his big fat mouth? Is he going to help out the Pogues even if it’s just for Sarah?

This shot just suddenly made me really sad. The thought of this all started because Big John left one last thing for his son to find, his literal life’s work. And when it all started, it was just a fun adventure John B and his best friends were going on together and having fun with. Then it all got dragged to absolute shit and turned into what it did, including the remaining 3 Pogues thinking that this treasure hunt took their two best friends away from them. And it’s nothing like Big John intended it to be.

Why my eyes wet?

Now we’re edging into what I was talking about earlier with John B and Sarah getting separated.

“If you think there is anything I wouldn’t do...”

Once again, John B is no where to be found. Also, just in case y’all didn’t already know or forgot Ward is an actual psychopath.

I believe this one of the new character, played by Jontavious Johnson (Stubbs). Based on the voice over it lowkey sounds like they’re implying Ward maybe hired Stubbs and Cleo to find and bring Sarah back. My theory would be I bet they do go to retrieve her, but she somehow convinces them that it would be more beneficial for them in the end to be on the Pogue’s side instead.

Miss Girl you gotta be keeping your head on a SWIVEL. Especially when you’re a FUGITIVE of the LAW-

“...you haven’t been paying attention.”

My guy, who are you clarifying this for?

It’s what you deserve for monologuing.

in all seriousness, the idea of them coming to face to face with Ward in Nassau after thinking they finally escaped him is genuinely terrifying.

“SARAH!”

It kind of looks like they’re either hiding their faces or covering their noses? I don’t know maybe it was from some tactic to get away from Ward.

What did I literally jsut say about yelling privileges, you unhinged mother fucker?

“I’m calling the shots now. I’m driving.”

The following progression of scenes made me actually snort-

“I can’t drive stick.”

PLEASE THE FINGER GUNS LAUNCHED ME INTO ORBIT I LOVE THEM, YOUR HONOR.

Alright, so now it looks like we’re in Charleston. This is the same scene with Heyward’s truck that got leaked from BTS (read: JJ and Kie shoulder touch).

One of the main things that stuck out to me in the following scenes which, you will see, is it lowkey looks like Pope is kind of heading up this part of the operation, or even going in alone? The following clips are just very Pope focused. 

I don’t know what it means, it’s just an observation.

“John B was not the only one that Ward double-crossed.”

LIMBRY-

Bro, we have been hearing about this woman for literal months and I just have....so many questions? 

Who the hell is she? How is she connected to Ward? Why is she in South Carolina instead of the OBX? How do the Pogues even learn about her and how to track her down? How is she meant to “help” them? GAH I JUST WANNA KNOOOW. I already know I don’t trust her though and no I will not be offering up supporting evidence.

Sir, that is my son please unhand him.

“I think you know what I want.”

.......no? But feel....free to explain yourself?

The print on the paper is the same one that’s on the ceiling tiles in the following scene. Obviously, with a key on it that most likely goes to the place a few shots from now.

Hell yeah, son, let’s get SLEUTHING.

“The treasure belongs to the Pogues.”

DAMN STRAIGHT.

Bestie’s I’m not going to lie, I stared at this frame for a solid 10 minuets and I have no idea what it says on there I’m sorry. Someone in the comments is welcome to enlighten us.

“We gotta find it first.”

I can’t tell if that’s just dirt or if he hurt his head? But he look GOOD right now for one thing. For another, same outfit as the one in the Twinkie from the beginning of the trailer.

Look at her. LooK AT HER! LOOK! AT! HER! I MISSED HER SO MUCH even in that damn smiley face top that continues to haunt my waking hours she is in it so much and it stresses me out for literally no good reason I’m sorry-

I could literally cry right now and I think that speaks volumes to how little we actually see him genuinely happy. Have I mentioned how much I love that red hat?

Also, probably not that important, but this is not from the same scene as the shots of Pope and Kiara were. This is from the next one-

“Woogity-woogity?”

“Give me some woogity, baby!”

Yeah, this pushed me over the fucking edge, the way that they’re actually happy and laughing? The fact that they kept woogity-woogity and made it A Thing? Yes.

I am, however, going to be intentionally ignoring what appears to be the very intentional stagingof having such an obvious space between where Kiara and Pope are sitting adn where JJ sits, even including the level they’re sitting on because I don’t have the emotional capacity to face those implications right now. Thank you for your time.

Yes yeeeeEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

GIVE ME ALL OF THE SCENES OF THEM ACTUALLY GETTING TO BE TEENAGERS AND JUST BREATHE AND LAUGH AND HAVE A GOOD TIME AND NOT BE RUNNING FOR THEIR FUCKING LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!

before Rafe comes in and literally starts shooting because they can’t breathe for more than 7 seconds but we’ll....get to that.

They refer to Sarah as a Pogue this season or I burn Netflix to the ground. Your move, Jonas.

50 bucks says John B is driving the Twinkie again for the first time since being back.

I deadass think the Pogues JUST got Sarah and John B back and they’re just having the time of their life. Kie was in her smiley face outfit when Pope was in this one a few clips ago, and I still hold to the belief that that one still they released of JJ and Kie hopping over a fence is the Pogue reunion so-

Ward? I have no idea what he’s looking at behind the wall paper and I’ll be so honest I don’t care my eyes are only seeing Pogue content right now.

“This is a map of the whole island.”

This fit, when will John B learn how to operate buttons, stay tuned for season 5. Also my previous theory of this being their reunion outfits and stuff because Pope is in the back in the same jacket as before.

The plot thickens and so has JJ’s hair, Rudy drop the shampoo brand.

Please, dear God, tell me they’re back in the sex church. For @jiaaraa sake.

Kiara, your Madison is showing.

Okay, I really did try but all I can make out is Something to the tomb begin something something.

You’re welcome.

I am no expert but I do not believe boats operate on land.

John B looks like he is in the same outfit here that is in his mug shot we saw on the TV screen so I have a sneaking suspicion this is where he gets caught. 

“John B is back-”

Once again with the damn sexual tension that’s always between Barry and Rafe in every scene they do are we about to kiss right now?

“-it’s him or me.”

First of all, no.

Second of all, I’m just....so very confused about this time line this season. It kind of looks like Ward and Rafe follow and find Sarah and John B in Nassau (unless those scenes by the truck were actually back in the OBX). So did they....go to Nassau, then just come right back when they did? I’m just confused.

Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.

Literally when will you stop at this point I am begging you. 

This looks like the same scene the Pogues were, ya know, literally just having a good time at so fuck me, I guess.

Yeah, no, it’s going to be a no from me, I’m just going to pretend like I’m not seeing this and moving on.

I have simply no idea what is going on here or who that is on the bike but maybe JJ? Maybe Luke even? I think that’s JJ’s bike. 

The sewer scene. The SEWER SCENE-

For months sicne that tiktok leaked this damn scene has been genuinely all I could think about. So (obviously) it seems like they’re sending Kie down into the sewer to go do seomthing and things go horribly, horribly wrong. 

If you haven’t seen the tiktok, essentially all it was was JJ and Pope screaming and trying to lift up the man hole cover while Kie is begging for them to hurry from inside. I’m cheating a little bit as this isn’t a shot from the trailer but this picture was posted and it’s from the same scene.

I’ll just....leave this here. Back to the trailer shots.

Nice. Also, same shirt as mugshot.

Hey, um, what? 

Kiara’s car, she’s driving, I can’t tell who’s in the back seat or the front.

Holy God what is going on and how can I as an audience member put a stop to it?

So, same scene as we will see and was in the teaser but, for some reason, they’re all jumping off of a giant ass boat into the little life raft where it looks like JJ gets hurt later but don’t you worry we’re getting to that.

JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE THEY BOTH LOOK SO DAMN GOOD AND THEIR LITTLE SMILES SPARE ME-

Cleo 🥵

I’m so excited to see her arc and what it brings this season you guys have no idea.

Please for the love of God be about to get Ward Cameron’s ass like he deserves literally punt him into jail right from Tanny Hill.

Sarah at My Druther’s with what looks like a bloody bandage on her side? Same outfit she’s wearing when they’re running from the police on the beach and she has the bandage there too so. Interesting. 

Topper hugging who I’m pretty sure is Sarah, being a general douche because he’s clearly looking at John B like 😏 

Clips like these serve to remind me just how many of my worldly posessions I would gladly give up to be able to punch Topper Thorton in the throat one time. 

I think this is Cleo jumping off the boat with Pope after John B and Sarah. 

Absolutely busting a lung at Pope’s form in this one.

John B and Sarah waiting in the life raft, still Cleo and Pope coming after them. The obvious next question is where are JJ and Kiara. The scene I’m sure you all have been waiting for is coming up and clearly takes place in the life raft as well.

So, I really think JJ and Kie get left for last, something horrible happens as they’re trying to jump (my head instantly goes to JJ maybe like pushing Kie out of the way and getting hit on the head instead or even just some accident). 

And, oh my GOD a scene of him falling off the boat after it happens and Kiara diving in after him immediately, having to desperatly try to stop him from sinkingand get to the life raft holy shit-

Girl CATCH HIM?????

Because why wouldn’t this be Rafe’s fault. Part of me wonders if this isn’t related to JJ being hurt.

I am going to try and unpack this as calmly as possible because behind my computer screen I am vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass but respectfully.

WHAT IN THE FUCK IS TIAUEWFHLAILA

Okay, so scene wise, JJ’s hit his head somehow (probably while he was jumping with Kiara) it looks like and now they’re back on the raft. 

In my opinion, this is either:

A) JJ is in really, really bad condition after getting hurt in the jump and they’re not sure he’s going to make it. So this is a “Please stay with me, stay awake, please don’t die” hug OR

B) They very narrowly just avoided a deadly situation (my first thought is JJ hits his head while jumping, passes out in the water, maybe almost drowns but Kie and the others get him onto the life raft in time) and this is more of a “Oh my God, you’re okay, you’re safe now, we’re okay” hug. 

I honestly lean more to the second one based on the little bit of Sarah’s face we saw in the background. To me, it almost looked like she was smiling thru tears, which, fits way more with the second option than the first. 

Anyways. Moving on before I burst a lung again.

(also, before anyone comes at me, no, I’m not happy JJ is hurt, obviously.  

(Once again, arrest outfits). You can still see the bandage but it looks like Sarah’s limping now too so...good Lord give the girl a break maybe?

Everything in this trailer just went to shit so fast I think I have whip lash, can we go back to the Pogues hanging out and being happy now pkease I liked those scenes.

“I get it. You guys are scared.”

“No.”

She’s cute but, uh, hello sewer scene outfits. Seems like them planning to do whatever the hell they were going to do in the sewers but the boys are starting to get cold feet as maybe they should but hind sight is 20/20 I suppose.

“It’s kind of cute.”

“I’m not scared.”

“You should’ve just led with that.”

I will never be able to express how much I adore Pogue banter and general dumbassery and I have a feeling this season will not be lacking in either department

I high key don’t think these two are actually going to be there for this scene to go down but I’ll let it slide this time because-

They do be kinda cute.

It both feels like I’ve been waiting for this damn show for 3 years and also like I just watched season 1 last month explain that to me. 

Either way holy shit. I missed this dumb show and these dumb kids so much it physcially hurts and WE GET THEM BACK IN T-MINUS 16 DAYS.

Also. Where The Hell Is Wheezie Cameron And When Will She Have The Rights She Deserves.

#THIS LEGIT TOOK ME ALL DAY #AND I HAD A BLAST #im simply not ready #jiara nation how we feeling #UGH i missed them so much dude #outer banks season 2 #obx #long post #shot by shot rundown #jiara #the pogues #obx2 #john b routledge #pope heyward #sarah cameron #kiara carrera #jj maybank #jarah b #john b x sarah #jj maybank x kiara carrera #cleo #rafe cameron #topper thornton