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avocado-frog · 1 year

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Dahlia. 2

Rating: M Word count: 7,000 (i'll write with a reasonable length soon i swear i just needed to get the first two chapters done) Warnings: Mentions of a suicide attempt, referenced ableism, violence, I think that's all but let me know Title: 4/16/2019-4/20/2019 Summary: Kai and Marcy visit. Leo and Jaxon are still fighting

4/16/2019

"How long are you staying?" Sam asked, leaning his head on the armrest of Logan's couch. He had stayed up late, waiting for his cousins to show up. They timed their visit weird, had some setbacks, and had only showed up at ten at night. Later than Sam usually liked to stay awake for.

"A couple of days, I think," was Kai's response, frowning at a lit-up phone screen. He glanced up at Logan. "If that's okay, of course."

"Of course it is." Logan smiled at the two, taking Kai's backpack and Marcy's suitcase. "I'll set up an air mattress in the living room, if you want."

"Yeah, thank you." Kai nodded politely, and turned back to Sam, smiling. "Hey, happy birthday. That was yesterday, right?"

Sam chuckled nervously, fidgeting with his hands. "Yeah, it was."

"Cool," Marcy joined in on their conversation. "How old are you now? Four? Five?"

"Eleven," Sam corrected. Logan, holding a rolled-up air mattress, came back down the stairs. Sam let out a stifled, relieved sigh.

"Alright, Sam." Logan must have sensed his mild discomfort. "It's probably time to get to bed, or you'll be tired in the morning. You have school. You can catch up with your cousins tomorrow."

"Right, okay." Sam nodded, and waved to his cousins. He mouthed a quick thanks to Logan, who gave a small, subtle nod, and he ran up the staircase faster than he ever had before.

It wasn't like his birthday had been bad, necessarily, it was just... uncomfortable. After they left Jaxon's friend's house, Jaxon had opted to stay behind, and Ryan went to bed when they got home, apparently having done too much that day. Logan had made him a cupcake, and his sisters, Dylan, and Lily got him presents, but it just felt off without his brothers there, too.

Ryan had left his door unlocked, so that was progress. The others had been happy, of course, when he told them that Ryan not only left his room, but left the house. The fact that he left the door unlocked was huge. Sam was optimistic.

Though, he still wasn't ready to go back to sharing a room yet. Ryan said that the place was too messy, and that he needed a little bit more time by himself, that he was overwhelmed, but that it was okay for him to visit. So, Sam kept that spare room, leaving his cousins with an air mattress and the couch in the living room.

Sam flicked the lights to his room on. It wasn't decorated, and the bedsheets weren't his normal ones, just the generic, maroon ones that had been there when he took the room. It was a little boring, and if he were to stay there much longer, he wanted to get some of his stuff from his old room.

He didn't dare turn the lights off. Maybe it was childish to still be afraid of the dark, but the lab had gotten pitch black at night, with the lack of windows, and blindingly bright during the day. As long as his room was brighter than the lab at any given time, he was okay. If he woke up and it was pitch black like it used to be, and he was alone, then there would be a problem.

He didn't consider himself fully safe until the TV was on, and the windows and door were open. Once the TV was on and turned to some random cartoon he'd never watched before, he could turn the lights back off and be okay.

If he didn't do all that, he would wake up screaming. That had only been an issue recently, and it had only happened three times. Leo, closest to his room, was there the fastest, quickly followed by Cass and Lily. Technically, Elliot was the closest to his room, being just next door, with Ryan diagonal from him. But that wasn't the point.

Even after he did his routine- the room was bright enough so that he wouldn't wake up and think he was in the lab again, the door was open so he wouldn't believe he was trapped, the curtains on the window were open so that he could see outside- it still took his brain a minute to calm down, still took him a long time to get his mind to slow down, and it took forever to really convince himself that he was safe.

---

Kai woke up from a half-sleep, barely able to relax in the living room of someone who was almost a stranger, on a slightly-deflated air mattress.

Eyelids still heavy, he reached out for the phone he set on the coffee table that Logan had moved out of the way, and knocked the poor thing to the ground, causing his sister to make some weird sound and roll over to her other side, from where she laid on the couch.

Wincing, Kai gingerly picked his phone up, and saw that it was only two in the morning. He sighed to himself, knowing he would never get back to sleep.

He stood up, stumbling a little from the lack of steadiness of the air mattress, and wandered to Logan's kitchen. He had said it was alright for him to take whatever he wanted from there, though Kai still felt a little guilty for it.

Mostly, he and Marcy had only decided to come over for two days to help out their cousins, especially after learning what had happened with the youngest kid. He didn't know exact details. He told his parents about it, and they insisted that they visit, despite the fact that they were going to miss school. They were told that this was more important, and that they could hire a tutor if they really needed to, but Kai was still thoroughly against missing that much school. Two days felt excessive.

He began filling a cup of water, after searching through the cabinets to find a single cup anywhere, when the front door quietly clicked shut, breaking through the dead silence. Kai made some embarrassing squeak noise, turning around in a panic.

Jaxon, standing on the other end of the hall by the front door, looked just as stunned to see him there. Quietly, he shuffled past the air mattress, and to the kitchen.

Out of all of the twin's new friends, Jaxon and Logan were the only ones he kept in contact with. Though, recently, Jaxon had stopped responding to any calls or messages, which was unlike him.

"You are... in my house?" Jaxon muttered softly, as not to wake up Marcy. A smart decision. Marcy was nearly homicidal when she got woken up.

"I texted you, and said I was on my way." Kai leaned back against a counter. Jaxon balled up the edge of his hoodie in his fist. "What are you doing, breaking into your own house at two in the morning?"

Kai remembered something about how being tired made you lose control over your emotional regulation, resulting in getting all sad when it was night.

Jaxon sniffed, and swiped at his nose with his wrist, trembling a little. For a minute, Kai worried he would start crying. He wasn't sure what to do if that happened.

"Woah, don't cry..." Kai sort of slurred. He felt a lot more tired than he had a moment ago. "Just tell me why you were gone."

"I was just with a friend." Jaxon crossed his arms over his chest, hands clenched into fists. Under the moonlight coming through the window, blue hair sparkled. Kai found himself transfixed on it.

"Have you ever dyed your hair other colors?" Kai decided to drop the earlier subject. It was making his friend upset. Maybe later.

"Huh?" Jaxon looked caught off guard. He pulled a strand of his hair in front of his eyes, and shrugged. "Oh, uh... yeah, I have. When I was first starting to dye it, it was black, with green stripes. I was, maybe twelve."

"Hm." Kai leaned back against the counter again. "I think... purple would look nice."

"Purple?"

"Yeah. Like-" Kai waved his hand in a circle as he tried to form the correct words. "Like, dark purple. It's a little more subtle than your blue, but I think it'd look pretty with your eyes."

"Oh."

"I think you should stay here," Kai said, out of nowhere. At this point, he was just spewing garbage out of his mouth. He was only half-aware of what he was saying. It felt like a dream.

Jaxon glanced up at him, sitting on the counter opposite of him. He shrugged loosely. "I don't- I don't know."

"How come?" Kai had a feeling he knew, but he was curious, anyways.

"Leo's mad at me, I don't know why, and..." he glanced at a spot on the floor. Kai's gaze trailed to a spot that had been cleaned a little too hard. "I can barely stand to be in here."

"This is where that kid-"

"Yeah."

Kai hummed a little, contemplating. "I think... I think you owe it to him to stay. I think that the others need you here."

"Really?"

Running off to stay with a friend after something bad had happened, sounded like the twins back in November. Kai didn't even hear from Leo until almost two months later, too.

"Yeah. Yeah, I think so." Kai nodded, mostly to himself. "I don't know about Leo, haven't talked to her today, but I think I can get her to calm down a little. Leo's never... been through anything like this before, but yeah. Usually, her first reaction to anything bad ever, is getting angry."

"I can tell," Jaxon deadpanned.

"You probably didn't do anything wrong," Kai continued. "Collateral damage. Wrong place, wrong time, you know?"

"Yeah." Jaxon nodded tiredly. He yawned. "...I'll think about it. Only came over because I wanted a better blanket. He won't notice I left. ...I can stay for a while."

Kai frowned again. "You shouldn't be walking out by yourself at night. That's not safe."

Jaxon snorted, smiling. "Yeah, okay, mom."

"I'm serious!" Kai scolded, genuinely distressed. "You could get hurt."

Jaxon, like a flipped switch, went back to his usual self, smiling. "I can take care of myself. Nothing bad will happen to me, walking two blocks down the street."

"You don't know that..."

Jaxon hopped down from the counter, reaching up to place a hand on the top of Kai's head.

"Yes I do. I have magic, you don't." Jaxon still grinned. "If anything, you shouldn't be out at night. You couldn't fight to save your life, either."

"Well, there's no need to be rude about it."

Jaxon snickered, and gestured towards the staircase with his head. "Well, are you going back to bed? Dylan won't wake up, if you want to watch a movie, or something."

Kai wasn't going to be able to sleep anyways, and watching a movie with him did sound more fun than laying on an air mattress trying to sleep. He nodded.

"Sure."

4/17/2019

Dylan stared up at the dark, looming staircase to the attic. It was a room they never used until recently, having been just a storage room until a couple of weeks ago, when it had been changed to Elliot's room. Dylan never bothered to ask why they didn't use Elliot's real room. Didn't matter, they supposed.

A pit formed in their stomach just looking at the door at the top of the stairs. They felt bad about it, but they didn't like to visit Elliot. They needed to. Elliot was scared of being alone.

The worst part, was that Dylan knew something would happen. They had Logan hide the knives. They locked every cabinet with any sort of medicine, hid anything that could even be a little dangerous, and yet, Elliot got hurt.

When Dylan saw that vision of Elliot's stab wound, they saw one for Leo as well, though they couldn't remember exactly what it was, and it never came back up again. If Leo noticed Dylan's desperate attempts to keep her safe, she didn't say anything. They didn't want her to die, too.

Elliot died for a whole five minutes, legally speaking, before Dylan was able to reverse it. That was definitely in the top five scariest moments of their life.

They had a visiting-Elliot cycle, as they called it. Lily usually went in the mornings to check on him, then Logan to do the important medical stuff, and then Sam or Leo. Dylan hadn't been going to school, and visited whenever they had the opportunity.

This time, they were being accompanied by Ryan. To Dylan's knowledge, Ryan hadn't gone to visit his brother at all, since the incident.

"Are you sure?" Dylan signed one final time to their friend, who gave a small nod in response, hands balled into fists, shoulders tense.

Ryan couldn't even go into the kitchen. Dylan thought that it was still too soon, that he should wait until he could stand in the kitchen again, but Ryan insisted.

"I have to," Ryan signed back. Dylan shook their head. He didn't have to do anything. The obligation was purely fictional. "I promised Sam I would leave my room more."

And Dylan, while glad Ryan was doing better, making a little bit of progress in the short span of two days, was still convinced he was going too fast. Dylan knew Ryan well enough, he preferred to go slowly with this sort of thing. They couldn't help but worry.

If Ryan really wanted to go up there, it wasn't like they could say no.

Dylan walked up the staircase, ahead of Ryan, so he could leave if he wanted, and unlocked the attic's door. That automatic locking thing was going to be the death of them, they were sure. When they were around eight or nine, they got trapped there trying to look for something, and it took five hours before anyone realized they were in there. Jaxon had practically broken the door down in a panic, and refused to let Dylan out of his sight for the next week. A bad day for everyone involved.

Dylan paused before opening the door. Ryan was still there, when they turned around.

They shot Ryan the most serious look they could. "Don't shut the door," they signed, and Ryan nodded. "It will lock. We'll be stuck."

Ryan nodded again, like he had experience in getting locked in the attic. Out of all the group, it would be the most unfortunate for Ryan and Dylan to get stuck in the attic. Neither of them were loud, and definitely not loud enough to be heard all the way in the first floor where Kai and Marcy- the only ones that were there- were. Dylan could only hope Ryan would listen to them.

The other worst case scenario was if Ryan saw his brother and started to panic like he did whenever he went into the kitchen. If that happened, Dylan would have to leave him alone to get help.

To his credit, Ryan didn't panic when he saw Elliot. Instead, a certain, sad, resigned look flashed across dull eyes. He wasn't afraid of him, like he was afraid of the kitchen. Ryan twisted his hands together, before turning back to Dylan.

"How often do you visit?" Ryan signed, and Dylan had to think about it.

"Maybe... three times a week?" Dylan signed with a shrug. "I try, often as I can. Visit you, too."

It wasn't like, staying home by themself all day, they had much else going on. It was hard to do anything else. They had a routine; wake up, eat breakfast, see Ryan, watch TV, see Elliot, lunch, TV, dinner. Simple, comforting. Dylan didn't want to stray from that routine. Anything else was overwhelming, they found out.

"I should have come up sooner," Ryan signed. His arms fell limp to his sides. He looked like he would cry. This was not Dylan's area of expertise whatsoever. Still, they were almost upset that Ryan thought like that.

Dylan shook their head firmly, when they got Ryan's attention. "Don't say that. You're here now."

Ryan nodded silently. Dylan turned back to Elliot. A pang of guilt struck them.

Dylan had never been great at making friends outside their family. Most kids their age didn't know sign language, so there was a slight barrier there. Despite them being in a class with other deaf kids, it still just didn't work. It was frustrating, they couldn't get why. They didn't think they were rude, or boring enough to ignore, and yet, it was a struggle.

Jaxon said it didn't matter, that they were stupid if they didn't want to be friends with them, and Logan said that they were bound to find someone who liked them outside of home, and Lily said she would beat anyone into the dirt for them if they asked, but they never got an answer as to why.

Dylan wished they could say that they just got along better with the teachers in their classroom, but they didn't. The teachers talked to them more often than the other kids, yet, they couldn't help but feel babied by the teachers. Talked down to, ignored. Dylan liked to think they were smarter than that.

Elliot understood that.

Logan was in online college, but he had a job, and he was relatively well-liked. He didn't understand. Leo gained a sort-of popularity among her classmates, though it hadn't always been like that. Leo almost understood. Cass was smart, and everyone seemed to like her, too, so she didn't understand. The same for Lily. Jaxon got along with everyone, and so did Sam. Ryan and Elliot both truly understood when Dylan said no one liked them.

Like them, Ryan wasn't good at reading people. Social cues were a tricky thing, and people seemed to get offended by the slightest misreading. It was a minefield.

Elliot, missing an eye, constantly deadpan, jumpy, he told Dylan that his classmates were genuinely afraid of him. Dylan didn't think that was justified. At worst, Elliot knew how to scare people. In truth, Elliot was only a kid. (Though, to be fair, Dylan was only a year and one month older.)

So, seeing Elliot in the condition he was in, and seeing Ryan hurting so bad over it, it felt like a hot knife carving a hole in every inch of their skin. It was not a pleasant feeling.

Visiting whenever possible was the best thing they could do. Their only fear was that Elliot didn't know they were there. Some people in comas can hear, and Dylan's hearing aids were downstairs in their room, they didn't usually like to talk without them, and the high-pitched ringing noise was getting a little irritating. They must've needed new batteries.

One thing they used to do as a kid, before they knew sign language, but after they went deaf, was something Logan had started; writing letters in their palm. It was easier than sign, but you had to pay attention. Logan had caught onto sign language pretty quickly, and so had Dylan, but it was taking Lily a while, and Jaxon had been having trouble with the right hand movements. His brain injury mostly damaged the part of the brain that controlled speech, so for a while, neither Dylan nor Jaxon said a word to their new friends.

Dylan used the old trick of writing into Elliot's hand to let him know they were there. They didn't usually say much, as it took a while, and touching other people's palms sort of grossed them out. It was strangely leathery. Usually, they just wrote a simple greeting. They could only hope Elliot knew it was them. He hated being alone.

"I wonder if I could have stopped him," Ryan signed out of nowhere, and Dylan glared, already hating where this was going. "If I tried hard enough."

"Stop," Dylan signed, with the sternest look they could possibly manage. "You got hurt trying to take the knife. You did what you could."

Somehow, they doubted Ryan believed them.

4/18/2019

Leo was not acting normal, despite what the others were saying.

She sat across the table from Jaxon, staring at her phone in one hand, holding a sandwich in the other. Sometimes, one of the others would start talking, and she would look up, and her gaze would flicker to the phone.

Something wasn't right, and it seemed like he was the only one who noticed.

Leo scrolled up for maybe half a second, and then back down to the same thing, over and over. Her eyes held a dim blankness, like she was just on her phone for show and didn't care what was on it. If someone talked to her, she would answer in brief, quiet sentences.

It wasn't like Jaxon was the one who had known her the longest, so that wasn't why he knew this, either. Cass was her sister, Kai and Marcy were her cousins, Logan and Lily were her childhood friends, the triplets, while her brothers, she only met them five months ago. Jaxon had met her in November, so he was not the one who had known her the longest, by a long shot.

And still, Cass thought she was acting fine. Logan said she was just recovering from the shock of what happened the previous month, like they all were, to just give her a few more weeks. If Elliot were there, he would notice, Jaxon was sure.

Kai was probably right, about what he had said before. Leo was probably targeting him out of everyone because he happened to be there. Leo would be fine in a few days, and everything would be okay again. He hoped so, at least. He missed her.

Jaxon took an angry bite of his sandwich, setting it down on his plate. He stared at the table, resting his chin on his hand. He glanced at Leo, who glanced at him, scowled, and looked back at her phone.

He tried everything he could. He tried to apologize, to get her to talk, to leave her alone, everything. And nothing worked.

Jaxon didn't ever really get angry with any of his friends.

His hand tightened around his cup, his eyes burned, a scream threatened to claw its way out of his throat. He was shaking, his knee bounced as his foot tapped against the floor.

He wasn't angry at her. He was just a little annoyed. Irritated, if you will.

Leo would get over it, and so would he.

---

"Ew, you've been on an air mattress all weekend?" Jaxon made a face, rolling it back to it's original rolled-up form. "I hate air mattresses. I always think I'll fall."

"I did fall," Kai remarked, and handed him the box that the mattress was supposed to go in. "Multiple times."

Kai glowered at his sister half-heartedly. "She called dibs on the couch when we got here."

"Not even a trial with rock-paper-scissors, huh?" Jaxon sat on the floor, his friend sat down across from him. Kai always seemed to sit with perfect posture, Jaxon couldn't get why. He thought it was just how he was raised, but then Marcy sat backwards and upside down on the couch every day. Jaxon cupped a hand over his mouth. "Lily always does that with the TV remote!"

"Well, maybe you should get to the couch faster!" Lily yelled back, from wherever she was.

Kai snickered behind his hand, and Jaxon stared at him with wide eyes.

"I didn't even know she could hear me!" Jaxon made a wide gesture with his hands, and began picking at the carpet. "Do you need help packing anything else?"

"Nah." Kai shrugged. "I didn't bring much." He gestured at Marcy's entire suitcase. "Unlike somebody."

Jaxon smiled thinly, drawing his knees close to his chest, resting his chin on his arms. He was that close to going with Cass's cousins.

"Oh!" Kai shot up, staring at his phone. "My parents are here. Guess it's time to go, then."

"Oh, okay!" Jaxon stood up, and followed his friend to the door. Marcy probably knew it was time to go. Jaxon genuinely didn't have a clue where she was anymore.

Kai turned around, looking a little concerned. "You'll be okay here?"

"Yeah, of course!"

"Seriously." Kai's expression became a bit sterner. "Tell me if things get worse with Leo. Or with Elliot."

Jaxon suppressed a flinch. A slight pang in his heart. "I will. He'll be fine."

Elliot was going to be fine.

"Okay." Kai nodded. His arms wrapped around Jaxon's neck in a swift hug. "I'll text you on the way over, if I have any internet."

"Alright!" Jaxon grinned, heart racing a little. "Drive safely! Tell your grandma and your cat that I said hello!"

Kai laughed a little. "I will. See you later."

4/19/2019

"Do you ever watch where you're going?"

Ryan's head thumped against the door. A headache pulsed behind his eyes. Dylan hung upside-down on Sam's bed, playing a game on their phone. Sam searched through boxes underneath Ryan's bed.

"Sam."

"I'm looking."

"Sam."

"I know, I know." Sam waved his hand absently in Ryan's direction. "Ha! Found them!"

Triumphantly, Sam held up Ryan's sound-cancelling headphones. He lost them at some point, even after he had cleaned his room. Sam handed them to him. Ryan pulled them over his head, cringing a little at the pressure.

Sounds became muffled, like he thought he should have been used to by now. Putting them on would suddenly plunge him underwater, and he'd be sinking, he couldn't swim, water would flood his ears through the headphones, it would all still be muffled when he got out and stood on the dock, shaking, about to cry, Jaxon was panicking, a group of kids frantically apologized.

Ryan shook his head. He was fine. He couldn't drown, he had been fine. He just got a little sick afterwards, was all.

"You okay?" Sam signed, and Ryan nodded. He could still hear his sister fighting with Jaxon outside of their room.

From the little context he had, Jaxon tripped and fell, and knocked Leo over, and Leo was overreacting a little.

The fights got worse after their cousins left. Practically the minute the two had driven off, it had been nonstop.

Logan tried to stop them, tried to separate them, but it never seemed to work. Ryan knew that Leo was messing with Jaxon on purpose now, and that he was taking the bait. It was annoying. If it continued, Ryan would have to resort to violence.

"Think they'll stop?" Sam signed, looking equally annoyed. Their fighting became muffled, he couldn't tell their voices apart, or understand what they were saying.

"No." Ryan signed back, and pretended to fist-fight the air. Sam snickered.

"They won't fight."

"They'll fight."

Sam glanced over at Dylan, then back to Ryan. "Leo will win. Dylan doesn't agree."

Ryan nodded. He didn't think Jaxon really had the heart to seriously fight any of them. Although, he had heard from Lily and Logan that he used to get in fights at school all the time. But then, so had Leo.

Someone knocked on the door, and Ryan shot up, seconds before Lily kicked the door open, slid inside, and shut the door behind her.

"Hey, I hear this is where we're hiding." Lily's voice was louder than the other's, Ryan could hear her quite clearly through the headphones. He slid them around his neck. "Cass left her laptop in here. She's at the store right now, but she asked me to find it."

Sam pointed to a thin, silver laptop covered in little sunflower stickers. Lily nodded, and picked it up, choosing to sit on the bed instead of leave.

"Annoyed yet?" Lily chuckled lightly, but all four of them flinched when a loud thud sounded from the hallway. "I barely got in here without catching on fire." Lily made a dramatic gesture with her hands, leaning forward. "I think Leo's this close to snapping my brother's neck clean off."

"They shouldn't be using their magic indoors," Ryan mumbled. "They could both burn down the house..."

"Mhm, totally." Lily nodded in agreement. "They'll wake up your brother with all their fighting."

Ryan winced a little. Sam cringed, but nodded.

Dylan sat up, turning their phone off. Their hearing aids were out, and carefully placed on Ryan's dresser. "Are they done?"

"No."

Dylan groaned and flopped back down on the bed. Lily patted their head sympathetically.

"Dinner should be ready in a few minutes, Logan thinks." Lily turned back to Ryan and Sam. "And Cass should be home any second now, which means that she'll mom-friend those two into submission and get them to shut the fuck up!"

She shouted that last part in the direction of the door, and momentarily, the argument stopped. It then continued with, "and now you're annoying Lily!"

Lily buried her face in her hands and pretended to cry. "Oh my god..."

"They're annoying the rest of us, too." Sam glared at the door. He looked back at Ryan. "Should we go downstairs, since dinner's done?"

"Ugh!" Lily stood up, and sighed dramatically. "I guess."

She signed to Dylan that they were going downstairs for dinner. Lily was the first one to open the door, acting like the hallway was a warzone, as she carefully inched outside. She was followed by Dylan, who didn't seem to care all that much, and then Ryan and Sam at the back of their line.

By the time they got out there, Leo had seemingly pushed Jaxon down, and had already gone downstairs. Lily silently helped Jaxon back up.

Cass had come back home by the time they got to the dining room, she was helping set out the food with Logan.

Lemon chicken and rice, one of Ryan's personal favorites. He could hardly bring himself to enjoy it.

Usually, it was Leo and Jaxon talking the loudest at the table, which caused the others to all join in. With Leo and Jaxon not on speaking terms at the moment, it meant that the others didn't talk, either.

Cass and Lily made light conversation, though it was strained and reduced to small talk. Across the table, Logan asked how the food was, to which Ryan responded with a thumbs-up.

Leo was eating slowly. She glanced up, looking around the table and sighed to herself, going back to eating the rice.

Leo finished first, and had run up the stairs.

When it was finished, Ryan helped to collect the plates, placing them in the sink. Logan gave him a small smile, patted him on the head, and Ryan ran off to go find his sister.

He darted up the stairs faster than he normally would have, slowing down at the sight of Leo's open door.

Leo's room was Ryan's favorite out of all of them. It was messy, disorganized, yet somehow, Ryan was instantly anxious upon entering (like he was with Dylan and Jaxon's room). It had a calming effect, he was safe there.

Leo was on the floor, emptying school supplies from her backpack, leaving them scattered on the floor. He thought that was odd, since they had school the next day. Leo skipped school often, so he wasn't too worried about that. Still, he had a bad feeling.

"What're you doing?" Ryan asked, and Leo jumped.

"Oh, Ryan." Leo smiled thinly. It was forced. "I'm going to a friend's house tomorrow night, I thought I would pack early."

Ryan stepped inside, kneeling down on the floor in front of her. He gestured to a pencil, rolling away. "You aren't going to school tomorrow?"

"Nah." Leo shrugged. "But don't tell Logan."

Ryan chuckled a little. He hugged his knees, watching Leo neatly fold a shirt from a red hanger, setting it inside her backpack.

"Are you going to school?" Leo picked up the runaway pencil and poked him in the forehead. "It's been a while, but there's no rush, you know. Take as long as you need."

Ryan shrugged. Going to school still made his stomach churn. He hated leaving Sam alone for so long, and he felt a bit better than he had been before, but he wasn't sure if school was too much or not. The principal had given him, Dylan, and Sam all a pass to skip the rest of the year, if they wanted.

"I don't know..."

"Don't force yourself, if you aren't sure." Leo placed her hand on his shoulder, smiling softly. "And hey! You went to the kitchen today! You're making progress."

Ryan blinked, remembering how he had gotten to the dining room in the first place- through the kitchen- and how he had helped Logan with the dishes earlier. He hadn't even noticed.

"Now, go get ready for bed, watch a movie or something. Whatever it is you kids do." Leo ruffled his hair gently. "We'll do something fun tomorrow, when the others leave, yeah?"

Ryan smiled a little. "...Yeah."

"Alright. Goodnight, love you."

"You too."

4/20/2019

Leo took him to the aquarium downtown, had even bought something from the gift shop. That was something she never did, complaining about how expensive they were, how she could buy something eighty-five dollars cheaper at the Dollar Store.

It was just a stuffed axolotl, but Ryan looked deeply suspicious of it, and Dylan was deeply suspicious of the frog keychain they got as well. Yet another frog thing for their collection, Leo had said.

They went to the park afterwards. Leo sat on the bench and watched Dylan water the flowers in the garden with their water bottle, and Ryan swinging on the swing set. She snickered as another kid approached him, and he began signing a bunch of nonsense until the kid left him alone.

Leo didn't want to leave them. The more she thought about it, the less appealing it became. Funny, this was the same bench she stayed on while trying to decide whether to stay at Logan's house in the first place, where she wondered if looking for her brothers was worth it. It had been. Ryan had just started leaving his room again, she didn't even know how Sam was doing, and Elliot was in a coma. It'd been worth it, but Leo wasn't able to take care of them like Logan or Cass could. As soon as she hit eighteen, it would be her responsibility. She doubted Logan was going to let her stay that long, as nice as he was.

This made sense, as much as she hated it. Her and Jaxon's fighting wasn't a good environment for the kids, and she knew that the older ones were getting irritated as well, and she couldn't stop.

She didn't hate him...

...Maybe she did.

It was his fault she was leaving. It was all his fault.

She would miss them, but they would be fine. She didn't know where she was going to go- certainly not back to Emily's house, though she could possibly take her old one if nobody moved in. Or maybe that was too obvious. She wasn't old enough to legally own a house.

If she left- when she left- she likely wasn't going to know whether Elliot would be okay. She couldn't just take him, after all. If he woke up, he was going to be so pissed at her.

But Elliot was going to be fine. Dylan's weird spooky voodoo shit was keeping him alive, Cass's healing magic was keeping the wound stable. He'd be fine.

She walked across the street with the younger two, to where Logan's house was. Her hand was heavy, as she unlocked the door, pushing it open for what could have been the last time.

Leo still had to finish packing. She was leaving for a friend's house in just six hours now. Six hours left.

She would finish packing, go see her brother, wait until seven o'clock that afternoon, talk to Jaxon, and then she was going to leave.

...Leo found packing to be quite upsetting.

She tried to focus. She had done this before, when she left Emily's house. Back then, five months ago now, Leo had been rushing, there had been a sense of urgency. She needed to get out.

This time, Leo was slow. She didn't want to leave, not really. This wasn't fair.

Leo tried to convince herself that she could get by just fine on her own. She barely talked to Cass before they left for New Hampshire, she barely talked to Kai or Marcy before they left. She only met the others five months ago. Leo's aunt and uncle- she could argue that she spent more time with them than her sister and cousins before they left, and they were hardly around. Leo took care of herself just fine before, she'd be fine now.

In one year and six months, Leo would be eighteen. That was old enough to buy a house, probably. At least, rent something. Leo could manage a year and a half. This wouldn't be hard.

"I'm sorry," was what Leo managed to say to her brother, still asleep. Leo adjusted the stuffed rabbit on his bed to be closer to him. Elliot didn't stir. Leo sighed a little. "I don't think I'm coming back. You'll be okay, won't you?"

"You will..." Leo continued. "You'll be fine. I'm sorry. This isn't your fault. None of this is your fault. Maybe I'll come back someday? I don't know."

If Elliot chose that specific moment to wake up, he'd be able to get Leo to stay. She knew that, and she hoped that he would choose that specific moment to wake up.

Leo took a final look at her brother, and left.

---

Something was up.

Jaxon didn't trust Leo at all. He kicked a pebble on the sidewalk, watching it bounce to the street. In the garden, he could see Leo sitting on the marble fountain, waiting for him.

After dinner (she was acting weird. She thanked Logan for letting her siblings stay there for so long, she looked near-tears as she claimed she was going to a friend's house, with a bag slung over her shoulder.) she had asked Jaxon to meet her in the garden, saying she wanted to talk.

Jaxon crossed the street. Crickets chirped in the dark silence, there was a quiet mumbling among people still walking this late in the night, the wind provided a cool breeze. The streetlights provided a faint, white light on the street. Cars drove past, wheels splashing against puddles from an earlier rain.

There was no gate to the garden. It was simply rows of dirt with flowers planted. Bushes formed arches, grown around curved wires and neatly trimmed, about five of them led to the marble fountain.

This was Dylan's favorite spot, the quietest part of the city. Dylan watered the flowers here in the spring and summer. They had met Cass here, which had led to the twins staying over.

Leo hopped down from where she sat on the fountain, walking towards him. Jaxon glared at the gravel trail beneath his feet. A petal laid on the ground. Aconite, wolfsbane. A poisonous flower.

A deadly foe is near. Jaxon always liked that particular flower. The meaning of it, he only remembered because Dylan got super into it once when they were nine. Jaxon remembered that specific one, because it sounded like a video game's final boss. He thought that was cool.

Leo was about five feet away, hands in her pockets, head hung low, expression unreadable.

"Leo," Jaxon startled himself with how low his own voice got. "I'm not in the mood-"

"I'm not going to fight." Leo's voice was dangerously monotonous, though it wavered a little. "I'm leaving. I wanted to apologize first."

Jaxon blinked, heart dropping a little. "You're... what?"

"I'm leaving," Leo repeated, harsher this time. "I'm not coming back, so I wanted to talk to you before I go."

Acid rose in his throat. His heart pounded. A thick knot in his throat made it impossible to speak. "You're- you're just going to leave?"

Leo nodded. Like she didn't even care. Jaxon took a few breaths, they came out shaking. Tears stung at his eyes. He wasn't going to cry-

He gritted his teeth, breathing grew sharp and unsteady. "You can't just do that! You can't just leave because things got a bit harder!"

Leo flinched backwards, gold eyes became cold and narrowed. Jaxon tensed, nails biting into his palms.

"That's the exact same fucking thing you did!" Leo made a wide gesture with her arms. "What the fuck are you talking about? What's the difference?"

"I came back!" Jaxon took a step forward. "You're just leaving. Were you ever going to tell them?"

Leo didn't say anything. He was standing closer to her now. She was still six inches taller than he was. Leo's hands curled into fists, but her expression softened a little as she looked at something in the distance.

"Jaxon, Ryan's here..."

Jaxon whirled around, and sure enough, Ryan was hiding behind a streetlight, watching the fight. He noticed Jaxon staring at him, and recoiled, trying to make himself smaller. Jaxon winced. He knew what Leo was going to do.

And then, a hard punch to the side of the head sent him straight to the ground.

Jaxon barely had the time to brace himself for the impact, slamming into the gravel. For a moment, he was disoriented, having to blink to relocate himself. His palms stung.

Jaxon forced himself to stand, moving slowly, stunned.

Leo didn't move, didn't speak, stared with burning, yellow eyes. Red sparks flew from clenched fists. She wouldn't...

Jaxon lunged forward and knocked Leo to the ground. A crack echoed through the park, as Leo managed a kick to the stomach. Jaxon gasped, falling on his side. Leo hovered over him. He grabbed a handful of gravel, she stumbled back as the small rocks hit her face.

He managed to stand back up, shaking, breathing quick and painful, and glanced up in time to be shoved back to the ground, back digging into the sharp rocks.

Jaxon knocked her down with a kick to the knee. He was losing. Jaxon stood up. His fist collided with Leo's face, and for a moment, the sharp, pulsing agony of feeling his fingers crack distracted him. Her nose was bleeding now, bent awkwardly.

She grabbed him by the collar of his hoodie, he heard the fabric begin to rip, and suddenly, colors blurred around him, and a sharp pain- the fountain- collided with the back of his head, and he slumped over, vision fading.

Leo left.

#pushing my autistic dylan agenda #i didnt mean to make kai and jaxon so gay for each other it just sort of happened #it was in the original outline that i was going off of #but u know what its cool #petition to give ryan a break 2023 #been waiting to write that fight scene for SO LONG-#ive been foreshadowing it since forget me not chapter eleven i think #but it was so hard to build up to #i got stuck on kai's last scene in this chapter. got stuck really badly #and then i had to take my brother to urban outfitters for three hours and i came up with something #who even reads these tags other than me #In theory I love fight chapters in practice fuck fight chapters #ryan watching leo and jaxons fight reminds me of the 'can i PLEASE get a waffle' vine #bro just standing there 🧍‍♂️#and jaxons literally about to die #leo speedruns backwards through her character development #writing #original work #original characters #writeblr

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anoushka-mga2021mi6014 · 7 months

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While searching for inspiration for a colour palette for my poster I came across the disability flag which is the one on top, and the disability pride flag which is the one at the bottom.

The disbility flag is a tricolor flag with three equally-sized horizontal stripes of gold, silver, and bronze,representing the three medals at the Paralympic Games, Gold, Silver, and Bronze. However, according to the designer of the flag Eros Recio, the three colors also represent the different forms of disability, physical, mental (intellectual or psychosocial), and sensory. But, the meanings of these colors are open to interpretation by the communities they represent.

The Disability pride flag is an evolution of the Lightning Bolt Disability Pride Flag(Pictured below), which is safer for people with visually-triggered disabilities. The color brightness changes also make the flag more accessible to those with color blindness. The new Disability Pride Flag is a charcoal grey flag bisected diagonally from the top left corner to the lower right corner by five parallel stripes in red, pale gold, pale grey, light blue, and green. The Disability Pride Flag comprises several different elements, each symbolizing various aspects of the disability experience.

As for what the colours on the flag represent: Green is for sensory disabilities, Blue represents emotional and psychiatric disabilities, White stands for non-visible and undiagnosed disabilities, Gold is for neurodiversity, Red represents physical disabilities. The stripes are displayed on a faded charcoal black background which commemorates and mourns disabled people who’ve died due to ableism, violence, negligence, suicide, rebellion, illness and eugenics. The dark background also represents rage and protest against the mistreatment of the disabled community.

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rebelwheelsnycshow · 2 years

Photo

unlearn ableism [image description: The art piece is a collage. The background is a colorful mix of patterns including horizontal pink zigzags, a photo of various colors of carnation flowers and an old illustration of various apricots. In the lower left hand corner is a woman wearing a dress with a billowy sleeve that has a pink flower design on the dress with white outlines. She has a medium sized daisy in her hand and two smaller ones on her sleeve. She's looking at you and has a large purple lotus flower on her head like a hat. To the right of her is the following text. When disability is falsely viewed as tragic and better off dead, disabled people doing ordinary things are seen as Brave and inspirational. But this is not a compliment Compassion or solidarity. Unlearn ableism. The first word is diagonal and yellow with a black retail behind it. Second word disability is in a horizontal light blue rectangle and has a thin modern black thought. The rest of the text has an off-white the slight yellow various horizontal rectangles behind it that are as long as the sentence so it varies in w i d t h finally at the bottom in a yellow rectangle is the black text unlearned ableism and in the lower right hand corner in a faded white reads at symbol Rebel Wheels NYC ] #Disability #disabilitypridemonth #cripplepunk #ableism #UnlearnAbleism #disabledartist #artwork #collageart #collage #vintage

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xenodelic · 3 years

Photo

PSYCHPUNK

I’ve decided to coin a new term - psychpunk. What is psychpunk?

Psychpunk relates to the movements of antipsychiatry, radical psychology, and radical therapy. Here are a couple of good posts summarizing the goals and general positions of these movements, but I’ll give an even briefer summary here.

Psychpunk advocates for the rights of neurodiverse, mentally ill, and mentally disabled people to have more autonomy over their lives and treatment. It pushes back against the current establishment of psychiatry that takes away autonomy, facilitates abuse, and is built on systemic racism, sexism, ableism, and more. Psychpunk advocates for the acknowledgement that diagnostic criteria can sometimes be reductive, restrictive, or outright harmful, and that they cannot accurately describe the entire range of mental health experiences. Psychpunk advocates for the rights of mentally ill / neurodiverse people to be heard and listened to about their own condition and their right to make informed decisions about their own treatment. Psychpunk pushes for the acknowledgment of how socio-economic conditions affect mental health, and the acceptance of neurodiversity as a natural human variation and not as something inherently aberrant that must be “cured”.

Psychpunk is not against the scientific study of psychology and mental health in and of itself, is not against the use of medications as a whole, and does not posit that mental illness is a fabrication or only a result of outside factors. It is not against the acts of diagnosis and treatment in of itself, and always acknowledges that every individual and situation is nuanced and no system can be perfect. But we still should push for the most fair and equitable system that we can achieve.

About the flag: Inspired by the disability pride flag. The chain represents breaking free from restrictive institutions and establishments that harm us. The colors have no particular meaning.

[Image description: 3 different flags representing the Psychpunk movement. The first flag has a dark indigo background, with three bolt shaped stripes moving diagonally across the image. The stripes are a light blue, purple, and pink. There is an indigo chain that is broken in the middle. The second flag has the same background and bolt stripes, but does not have the broken chain. The third flag has 4 horizontal stripes, from top to bottom: pink, purple, blue, indigo, with a dark indigo broken chain going diagonally across the image. End image description.]

#psychpunk #antipsychiatry #radical psychology #radical therapy #long post #flashing

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themogaidragon · 2 years

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do you know if there's a flag for hip dysplasia? if not, could you please make one? i've never met another person with hip dysplasia

I haven't found any. :( /srs

So here's one!^^ /pos

Hip Dysplasia Pride Flag

Hip dysplasia is an abnormality of the hip joint where the socket portion does not fully cover the ball portion, resulting in an increased risk for joint dislocation. Hip dysplasia may occur at birth or develop in early life. Regardless, it does not typically produce symptoms in babies less than a year old. Occasionally one leg may be shorter than the other. The left hip is more often affected than the right. Complications without treatment can include arthritis, limping, and low back pain.

Source: Wikipedia.

Flag meaning:

Yellow lines: different types of hip dysplasia

Grey lines: Syndromes/disabilities/disorders often due to hip dysplasia (arthritis, limping, and low back pain...)

Cyan line: Pride and fighting against ableism

[Image ID: A flag with five diagonal lines from left to right. Their colors are yellow, grey, cyan, grey and yellow. The center line and the lines outside are larger.]

#dysplasia #hip dysplasia #disabled pride #disability #disability pride #disabilities #chronic pain #developmental dysplasia of the hip #ddh #developmental dislocation of the hip #congenital dysplasia of the hip #cdh

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thechangeling · 2 years

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The price of this so-called perfection

I'm reposting this again because I deleted the original. 😳

Cw: One case of misgendering, mentions of internalized lesbophobia and enbyphobia, references to ableism and sex (but it's super vague).

For the first time in over ten years, Thaís Pedroso did not wake to an alarm clock or their mother demanding they wake up because she needed something from them. No they woke gently, carefully being pulled out of sleep back into the world, and the very first thing Thaís noticed was Janessa's hair. Like a billowing cloud of pure midnight.

Definitely not soft though. No Nessie's hair was like course and thick like Thaís's. Not exactly the best pillow in theory but there was something comforting about it. Maybe because it was so uniquely Nessie.

She was still asleep, laying on her stomach with her head turned to the side, resting on her arms. From this angle Thaís could see all of Nessie's tattoos. Her tattoos were one of the first things they noticed about her. Thaís wasn't the type of person who noticed lips or curves or cleavage. At least not until Janessa.

They normally were drawn in by a girls outfit or her hair. And it was never a sexual attraction but more of an emotional one.

Thaís gently traced the tattoo on Janessa's back. It was one of Nessie's favorites besides the Kit-Kat bar on the inside of her arm. It was a clusture of stars traveling on a diagonal. But one was shaded in black.

Janessa had told Thaís that it was meant to represent her. It was a reminder that Nessie was special.

And it was a reminder that she was alone.

Thaís hated that Janessa thought of herself that way. That she always had this need to do everything on her own and never accept help from anyone. They weren't sure if it was because Nessie thought she was invincible or if she thought asking for help made her weak. Or possibly both. Either way Thaís wished that Janessa wouldn't be so reckless.

Caring about her was a bit stressful. Even in a good day. Thaís preferred structure and order in their life. Rules and regulations to keep everyone else and them honest and moral. It was how Thaís had been raised and they liked it that way. At least until they realized there were just some rules they could never follow.

Like marrying a shadowhunter man. Thaís' parents had never explicitly stated that they had to but it was certainly implied. And if there was one thing Thaís hated more then the idea of being bad or corrupt it was uncertain or unclear rules. Then there was the fact that they were not who they said they were anymore and Thaís hated lying, even if it was to protect themself. It wasn't as if they had been lying this whole time. It was only in the last few years or so that Thaís had been feeling less and less comfortable with being referred to as a girl or she.

Everytime someone called them a "pretty girl" or such an accomplished "young women" they felt their stomach twist and their heart break.

Why couldn't they just be pretty? Thaís had always wondered. Why did everyone feel the need to tack on "girl" to every compliment. The way this world saw them and tacked their expectations on like dead weight was almost unbearable at times. So far Janessa was the only person they had told and even she still messed up sometimes.

And that was without the agressive mood swings where Thaís would be bedridden in bed for days unable to move they were so depressed and lethargic and then days later they would be bursting with chaotic energy leading them to do all kinds of ridiculous things.

Thaís just wanted to be good. To do what what asked of them and be dependable not a mess that was giving in to their own selfish desires.

They were so lost in thought that they didn't notice Nessie staring at them at first. She smiled with uncharacteristic softness when Thaís met her eyes.

"Hey."

And that one word. Just that one word brought a swell of emotions, almost bringing tears to Thaís' eyes.

"Hey," they said softly, grinning at Nessie. Thaís reached for her, stroking her cheek.

Janessa hummed pleasantly. "I thought this would be the part where you have a giant freakout about how I've corrupted your delicate moral sensibilities or whatever."

Thaís narrowed their eyes at her. "I'm fine." Their accent flared up a little as they tried to conceal their anxiety.

It was only half of a lie though. Being with Nessie the night before was indescribable. To feel her, everywhere. To be close to her. To be touched by her. It was magic.

It was a night of wonderful pleasure but also unease and anxious thoughts.

Thaís couldn't come back from this.

Nessie raised an eyebrow at them knowingly. "You know you didn't do anything wrong, right? And I'll tell you over and over again until you believe it."

Thaís swallowed a lump in their throat. "I know."

Janessa sighed, throwing the blanket back and stretching out her arms. Thaís couldn't help but stare. Nessie was so unabashedly unashamed of her body. And she had every right to be. She had put a lot of time, money and energy into crafting her body into one she could be comfortable and at home in. And it was a beautiful body.

Thaís had grown up in a fairly progressive household concerning downworlders. However their parents and family members had always spoken badly of vampires. After all how could a reanimated corpse still be a person? An ensouled being? Vampires disrupted the natural order of life and death. They were abominations in the eyes of nature and in the eyes of God.

But Nessie was anything but an abomination. Janessa the talented musician, the valiant protector. Witty, charming Nessie who secretly had so much love to give. Whose smile contained multitudes.

Thaís lazily traced the outline of Janessa's body with their gaze as she dressed in her favorite red silk robe. Kit had described it as "giving I just murded my rich husband and inherited his fortune vibes." Thaís wasn't sure if that was meant to be a compliment or not.

Nessie caught them staring and smirked, tossing her dark curly hair back. "Like what you see angel?"

The nickname had started as an insult in the beginning, as a way to mess with Thaís and get under their skin, and it worked. But as time progressed, and the two became closer it shifted into a term of endearment.

Thaís grinned. "You are the most beautiful women I have ever seen."

"Same here," Janessa replied casually.

And there it was. The familiar sinking sensation as their stomach twisted and melancholy spread through Thaís body like a poison. They knew it was just a mistake and Nessie didn't mean anything by it.

But that was the problem. It was always "just an innocent mistake" and people usually meant well. They were all trying so hard and this switch was difficult for them.

So don't you see? You can't be angry. You have to feel sorry for how hard your identity is on me personally.

It was always about everyone else and how hard they were trying. Never Thaís.

Thaís wanted to build a better world. A more tolerant world were this wouldn't keep happening. But deep down they always wondered, they always feared.

What if I'm the one who is wrong? What if this is my fault for not being able to just follow the rules.

And the worse part was it wasn't just cis people. Nessie was clearly willing to fight for the "real" trans people who transitioned from male to female or vice versa, who took their hormones and tried to fit in.

But what about the rest of them?

Thaís grit their teeth. "Please don't call me that."

A moment of realization flashed onto Janessa's face. "Oh right! Shit I'm sorry my bad. It's just-" she cut herself off.

Thaís frowned. "It's just what?" They were suddenly painfully aware of how naked they were, both literally and figuratively. They pulled on their cloth dress from the night before.

Nessie bit her lip in a rare moment of self restraint. "I just." She paused and then plowed on ahead. "Fuck, I mean look at you Thaís," she gestured to their dress. "You look like that."

Thaís glowered at her. "Like what exactly?"

And if Janessa was anyone else, Thaís knew she could back down and apologize purely for appearances. But Nessie never backed down from a fight. Even if she was in the wrong. It was probably her worst quality.

"You know what I mean." She gestured. You wear fucking pretty dresses and makeup and have long hair! And, you know tits! Which you seem fine with." Nessie sighed. "I'm sorry I don't mean to be a bitch it's just kinda confusing."

Confusing. Right. And it wasn't as though Thaís could really blame her for that. They were confused too. When Thaís had started doing research online to see if they could find out what was going on, they had come across the idea to use they/them pronouns.

But they had also come across video apon video of white skinny androgynous looking people telling stories about how they always hated wearing dresses and girly things and they also wanted to play with the boys instead of the girls. Stories about always knowing that there was something different about them from a young age.

Thaís almost gave up the idea on the spot.

Almost.

They were mostly still trying to figure things out peice by peice. Day by day. But one thing Thaís did know is that this was real. What they felt was real. It didn't need to make sense.

Thaís sighed. They hated feeling this way. When their emotions were hopelessly out of control and they felt like they were being irrational. Ever since they were fourteen and their moods had become more wild and erratic, people had been treating Thaís like every word or decision they disagreed with was just an example of "Thaís acting crazy."

And Thaís had always thought that if they could just be good enough then they could prove their worth to people beyond their bad days. That if Thaís could be perfect then they would finally earn everyone's favour.

They shook their head. " You have no idea how frustrating this is. Not having the words to say what you mean or describe what you're feeling. And maybe once the words existed but my people were colonized and forced to adopt an idiotic binary white understanding of gender and now I'm stuck." Thaís took a deep breath, attempting to calm their anger. Janessa winced slightly.

"Nessie, I am forced to live in this world that wants to seperate everyone into neatly defined boxes. It talks about men and women and gives no passing thought to people who may live beyond and in between that. I'm sorry if you're confused but my existence is complex. You cannot shove it into something that is easier for your binary brain to understand."

Janessa looked like she was about to protest and then stopped and sighed. "I'm sorry I never wanted you to feel this way I swear," she mumbled. "Fuck, Thaís I never wanted to make you feel how everyone made me feel when-" she trailed off. "Fuck I'm an asshole."

"Yes you are," Thaís said matter of factly. But they managed a small smile. "I know how I'm still perceived and sure, maybe I could change that. I could cut my hair and wear suits and a binder but I don't want to. I love looking this way, I just hate the expectations and assumptions that come with it. Sometimes I wish I could just be normal and, I'm not sure do gender properly, whatever that means but I can't. I can't be perfect."

"Hey." Nessie sat back down beside her. "Don't do that. Don't pity yourself it will get you nowhere. Believe me. And don't make excuses for other people. Not even me." She seemed like she was considering reaching for Thaís but then decided against it.

"Angel, you have ever right to be angry even with me. Hell especially with me. I don't if you've noticed but I can be kind of a cunt sometimes."

"Nessie!" Thaís exclaimed. It had taken some time to get used to how vulgar Nessie was. They tried to avoid swearing most of the time if they could help it.

"Look my point is. I may not totally get you. But that shouldn't matter. You deserve better. I promise you don't need to fight with me anymore but you still need to fight the rest of the world for what you need. The respect that you deserve," she said.

Thaís gave her a look. "I have no problems with fighting to change the world."

Nessie smiled knowingly, "what about fighting for yourself?"

Oh.

Perhaps she was right.

Janessa reached for her this time carefully placing her hand on Thaís bare thigh. "How about, you work on that while I work on being less.. how did you put it the other day?"

Thaís laughed. "Confrontational?"

"Confrontational right. Deal?"

Thaís gazed into her smokey eyes. They knew most people described them as cold and steely, and yes that could be the case sometimes. But whenever Nessie was looking at Thaís, they saw nothing but tenderness.

They raised Janessa's hand and kissed it without breaking eye contact.

"Deal."

Nessie grinned and leaned forward so that their noses were touching. Thaís let out a shaky breath against her lips.

"You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen," she whispered. And when she kissed Thaís, they swore they could feel magic in their bones.

Tagging: @lavender-scented-rat @littlx-songbxrd @arangiajoan @have-a-holly-jolly-angstmas @tired-vin @phoenix-and-dragon @amchara @wagner-fell @sandersgrey @the-wckd-powers

#twp #tsc #thaís pedroso #janessa williams #janessa is my oc

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a-spoonful-of-pain · 3 years

Text

July is Disability Pride Month which is a great time for disabled people to come together and celebrate their disabilities, however it's also important that we use Disability Pride Month to motivate change within our society and raise awareness of the inequalities disabled people face on a daily basis.

This Disability Pride Month, here's 5 things you need to know:

1. Disabled People do not have marriage equality.

2. Disabled People are far more likely to be victims of abuse.

3. Disabled People make up 15% of the World's Population

4. Disabled People are around twice as likely to be unemployed.

5. Disabled People Face Extra Costs of £583 Per Month

Of course, there are a lot more inequalities than the ones listed here, and these have only increased with the recent treatment of disabled people during the pandemic. As disabled people, we will continue to fight for our rights and equality, and hope that abled people will support us in this.

Disability Pride Month is far less celebrated and publicised than other (equally important) pride events, which unfortunately means it has less of an impact than others. For example, during LGBTQ+ Pride Month, many brands and businesses promoted the month with limited edition products and events, which in turn raises awareness and helps to encourage change.

If you're abled and reading this, here are just a couple of things you can do to support Disability Pride Month:

- Listen to the experiences of disabled people and their stories. Awareness is the start of change.

- Boost disabled people's voices. Share their posts on Social Media or tell your friends and family about the inequalities disabled people face.

- Educate yourself. Do a quick search on Social Media or Google to learn more about Disability Pride Month, find out the meaning behind the flag or the history behind Disability Pride.

- Hold yourself accountable. Be aware of your privilege, ignorance and unconscious bias.

Image Descriptions:

Slide 1:

Green background with white text reading "Disability Pride Month". Below in brown text reads "5 things you should know about Disability Pride Month". Below is an image of a brown woman using a wheelchair with one arm raised in a fist and the other holding a megaphone. An image of a white woman with a prosthetic leg stands beside her, holding the Disability Pride flag above her head with one arm. The flag has a black background with zig zag multicoloured stripes going diagonally from the top left to the bottom right corner.

Slide 2:

Green background with white text reading "Disabled People Do Not Have Marriage Equality". Below, brown text reads "If a disabled person chooses to get married within the UK, they are at risk of losing their financial support, and many are encouraged not to get married or cohabit in order to maintain financial stability. Although the disability benefit in the UK is unaffected, any benefits that are means tested will be impacted by sharing a home with a partner. Therefore those who are unable to work due to their disability will lose their financial support if they cohabit, with the assumption that the partner will make up for the lack of income." Cream text centered below reads "Disabled people often feel they have to choose between marriage and financial security"

Slide 3:

Green background with white text reading "Disabled People Are More Likely to be Victims of Abuse". Below, brown text reads "Statistics found that 14.3% of disabled people were victims of domestic abuse last year, compared to 5.1% of abled people (ONS, 2020). With disabled people almost three times more likely to be victims of abuse, it is clear that they are significantly more vulnerable. In 2017/18 only around 10% of violent hate crimes against disabled people resulted in a charge or summons." Cream text centered below reads "Not only are disabled people more likely to be victims of crime than abled people, these crimes are very rarely punished by law."

Slide 4:

Green background with white text reading "Disabled People Make Up 15% of the World's Population" Below, brown text reads "It is more likely that this statistic is a lot higher, as many disabled people are not registered disabled due to lack of diagnosis, familial and societal discrimination, and many other factors. In the UK, there are 14.1 million registered disabled people. 19% of working age adults in the UK are disabled, that is almost 1 in 5. Nobody is immune from disability, yet so many abled people don't fight for disability rights because they believe it doesn't impact them." Cream text centered below reads "Disability can happen to anyone at any time."

Slide 5:

Green background with white text reading "Disabled People Are Around Twice As Likely to be Unemployed" Below, brown text reads "As well as the questions this raises about inaccessibility and discrimination in the work place, it also reiterates the financial issues that arise from being disabled. Although it is illegal to reject a person's job application due to their disability, it is far too easy to blame the rejection on something else, so it is almost impossible to prove that employment was denied based on disability." Cream text centered below reads "Employed Disabled People often experience a significant amount of ableism within the workplace."

Slide 6:

Green background with white text reading "Disabled People Face Extra Costs of £583 Per Month" Below, brown text reads "On average, it costs £583 a month MORE to be disabled, with 1 in 5 disabled people facing over £1000. Considering the disability employment and pay gap, the failing benefits systems and marriage inequalities, disabled people are already at risk of poverty. For anyone who believes disabled people have equality - just imagine having to pay out an extra £583 a month purely because you have a disability / health condition." Cream text centered below reads "The financial support from the government rarely covers these costs."

Slide 7:

Green background with white text reading "How to Support Disability Pride Month as an Ally" Below, brown text reads "Listen to the experiences of disabled people and their stories. Awareness is the start of change. Boost disabled people's voices. Share their posts on Social Media or tell your friends and family about the inequalities disabled people face. Educate yourself. Do a quick search on Social Media or Google to learn more about Disability Pride Month, find out the meaning behind the flag or the history behind Disability Pride." Cream text centered below reads "Hold yourself accountable. Be aware of your privilege, ignorance and unconscious bias."

Slide 8:

Green background with white text reading "Disability Pride Month is a Celebration" Below, brown text reads "Disability Pride Month isn't all negative. It is an opportunity to come together to share experiences, raise awareness and celebrate why we are PROUD to be Disabled." Below is an image of a brown man with no visible disability wearing striped trousers holding hands with a white woman sitting in a wheelchair wearing a yellow dress. They are facing eachother with their free hands pointing up to the text above it.

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dyspunktional-revan · 5 months

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A narc abuse believer has reblogged from me so here's your Fucking reminder that no disorder is an abuser disorder. Your abuser(s) did/do not abuse you because they have an Abuser Disorder, they abuse(d) you because they believe(d) in their right to control you and had the means. And no, no disorder fucking creates that.

To abuse is a choice, and it's a carefully protected bolt in all the larger systems of oppression. To have a disability born out of being abused, that fucks You up, is not a fucking choice. And is certainly not a fucking protected bolt in the larger systems of oppression, rather the fucking opposite.

Yes, people with Any disorder Can choose to abuse. As well as people without that disorder! And people with that disorder are not fucking More Likely to abuse! And don't fucking armchair diagnose other people!

And the fucking case of parental abuse. You were not "raised by narcissists", you were raised by people whose literal societal role is to abuse you. Which Very Much does not absolve them. Parents are cops, and more. Read up on youth liberation and stop throwing *other survivors* into the fucking meat grinder.

And the fucking nerve to put anti-narc shit into the *npd* tags. You know well it's a Disorder, not an Abuser Personality Type that the abuser Chooses, and still demonize us.

#leviathan.txt #leviathan yells at folkel #leviathan argues #ableism #saneism #diagonal ableism #blame shifting #anti-npd ableism/saneism #npd #narcissistic personality disorder #abuse #swearing cw #disability posting #disabled community #mental illness #personality disorder #abuse survivor #cluster b

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crowpunkcognitivedecline · 2 months

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i'm definitely not anti leaving tumblr or whatever but as someone who is genuinely too disabled for virtually all social media it fucking sucks to have people acting like changing platforms is something everyone can just do.

i'm not saying tumblr is the best or even good, but it's the only form of social media i can keep up with. i've fucking tried others. tried instagram, twitter, multiple instances of mastodon, briefly cohost, neocities, and i can't fucking do it.

my system collectively barely runs a youtube channel, but that's not really a social media--definitely not in the way tumblr is. we're active on discord, but it's also its own thing entirely.

this happened with twitter too--which also sucked, though it affected me less because by the time it became a big talking point i was becoming too disabled to use it and i never really liked it to begin with.

and every time, it's exhausting.

people will put so much anger and blame on people who aren't immediately ready to jump ship, even people who can't do that without drowning. if i say tumblr has the combination of notification settings, accessibility features, layout, and community that i need to exist online, someone will tell me that i'm lying and just suddenly love transmisogynists as if i haven't lost and willfully left behind many communities for transmisogyny directed at myself and others, as if there's no way a disability can profoundly affect how you exist online.

i find the people doing the latter tend to be LSN ND people, which doesn't surprise me. when you experience the discomfort and distress of change that comes with things like autism, but are, for example, level 1 and capable of adapting afterwards, it's a lot easier to act like everyone who doesn't or can't is a lazy liar who doesn't care enough.

but that's not how this works.

[also, can we please try to be mad at the people actually fucking doing things wrong and defending transmisogyny instead of the people hesitating to leave a site that often allowed them to built life-saving community and connections? like, how about we don't call people who are slow to go nuclear evil monsters?]

#cw ableism #anticrip ableism #diagonal ableism

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capricorn-0mnikorn · 4 years

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What you'll find here (updated 13 March, 2024):

I generally post whatever is on my mind, especially contemplative and/or silly. This year, thanks to a promise I made to myself as a writing goal, there will be a lot of meditations on folk and fairy tales, alongside those on disability- and queer rights.

Also: Rest Assured: I will Never never make a “Reblog, or else you’re a bad person,” or “Reblog, or else bad things will happen.” post.

(Though I may ask for reblogs of signal boosts, if someone is asking for specific help / advice, and needs to get their message out.

My Account Blocking Policy:

When I get a notification that I have a new follower, I check, and I will block

Any blog I suspect of being a bot.

Any Tumblr marked as belonging to TERFs by the app Shinigami Eyes.

Likewise, any Tumblr user who wants to exclude Asexual and/or Aromantic folk from the queer community (the Venn Diagram with TERFs is a near circle).

Any blog (or Anon who sends a message to my Inbox) that discourages voting in any government with two or more political parties.

Any blog that tags my posts with “q-slur,” even if I otherwise agree with other stuff they post..

Ableists and Disablists. (Link to the American Wikipedia article on Ableism). This includes anyone who shows support, or asks for support, for Autism Speaks. I see a blue puzzle piece, I block immediately.

What counts as "Good Manners" around here:

Don't be mean. There's no need to be mean. Remember, wherever you go, there you are.

Praise what you enjoy before criticizing what you don't.

When you do give criticism, let it be reasoned ("It sucks!" isn’t reasoning).

Don't belittle, or mock, people for the things they enjoy (or what they don’t enjoy, either, respect people’s squicks, even if they seem odd to you).

If you must post provocative things, aim for provoking laughter, and provoking thought.

Remember that anger can splash onto innocent bystanders, and people "reading over your shoulder." If you must have an argument with someone in particular--rather than an argument for or against an idea--take it somewhere else (DMs, asks, or make a separate post)

When in doubt: Puns!

With help and suggestions from many others (some of whom wished to remain anonymous) I designed the

Disability Pride Flag

(Which is different from the Disability Rights Flag of the U.N.):

[Image description: a “Straight Diagonal” version of the Disability Pride Flag: A charcoal grey flag with a diagonal band from the top left to bottom right corner, made up of five parallel stripes (going from bottom up; left to right) in red, gold, pale grey, blue, and green Description ends]

[Image description: Official ‘Copyright Zero’ (Public Domain) mark from Creative Commons. Description ends]

To the extent possible under law, Ann Magill has waived all copyright and related or neighboring rights to Visually Safe Disability Pride Flag. This work is published from: United States.

#Grith #House rules #Disability pride flag #queer #eyestrian

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rebelwheelsnyczine · 9 months

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TOPICS IN THIS ISSUE INCLUDE: The Disconnect In Many Activist Scenes Regarding Disability Rights, Pandemic, Ableism & Eugenics, Revolution & Disability Inclusion & Disability Pride

Kindly use this #ACallForHealingAndRebellion to discuss the zine

ACCESSIBILITY NOTE: According to Google Docs, the issue is accessible for those who use screen readers, however this zine issue is also available as a PDF.

[image description: A horizontal rectangle. graphic. The background is half red tartan plaid fabric and the other half is gold glitter. The two textures are placed diagonally with the plaid fabric over the gold glitter a bit. On top, diagonal & in large yellow orange letters, in a font that is bold but looks aged, as if it was chipping a bit, it reads: issue #6]

#art zine #poetry zine #political zine #zine #art #poetry #disability rights #activism #the left #disability representation #disability pride #disabled rights #ableism #pandemic #eugenics #medical ableism #disability inclusion #cripple punk

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things-we-used-tc-share · 5 years

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I Found

“I’ll use you as a warning sign,

That if you talk enough sense then you’ll lose your mind,

And I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be,

Right in front of me,

Talk some sense to me,”

-Amber Run, I Found

Written for the “Song Prompt” Event on my Discord server.

Warnings: Mentions of ableism (Autism-orientated)

Ship: Remile

Plot: Remy finds life too repetitive, but a thunder storm and a pretty boy might be the change he’s looking for. (Autistic!Emile)

Remy stares up at the sky like it’ll offer something new, something different today. It never does, but one can only dream and hope and pray for something new. His eyes avert and he continues walking o work, his satchel banging against his thigh incessantly; he’s used to this and pays it no mind at all. As he pushes open the café door, the pink-haired barista grins at him “Morning Remy!” Remy smiles, it’s not so bad of a routine.

“Morning Emile,” The two exchange a small smile, and Remy goes into the back to put his bag down, grab his apron and start with his long day.

The day goes by as slow as it always does. The sun sets in the cold winter night, the rain dashes lightly against dark windows and the water on the streets is illuminated by ghostly white streetlights. Remy leans against the counter after serving his last customer and then sighs heavily. Surely, he thinks, there is more to life than this? Because this is simply no fun at all. A stressed hand cards through his mussed curls, there’s a little bit of sugar that lands on his hand from his hair, it’s something he’s done so many times before that it’s stopped being amusing.

“Hey Emile?” He calls over his shoulder “Will you sort out the register, I’m going to start clearing the tables?” The smaller man, whose hair is still the brightest pink he’s ever seen (Remy thinks he probably dyes it regularly, which is possibly terriblefor his hair), nods enthusiastically and moves to clear out the cash register. He always looks too chipper, and that’s all right, one of them has to be for their job.

Remy picks up the cloth and locks the door once he’s checked every one has left, slipping the sign to ‘closed’ before he starts to wipe down the tables. He follows his repetitive movements dazedly; barely present as he does so, he does this almost every day too, wiping down tables and mopping floors and serving cups of coffee. He’s not miserable, simply…tiredof repetition. The sound of thunder outside startles him a little, his eyes going outside to see the rain has truly started to hammer it down. Remy makes a noise of discomfort, or maybe it’s disgust or inconvenience, or maybe all at once, either way he stares as the water bounces off the floor in full force. “Wonderful weather for the ducks don’t you think?” Emile quips with a light chuckle, the cash register shutting.

“I don’t think even the ducks will brave that,” Remy pushes his glasses up his nose, stylish hipster-esque frames that had cost way more than his pay check allows. Emile laughs in response and it’s a nice sound, something different in Remy’s monotonous life. He even dares to smile a little back. “I think I’d rather sleep in here than step a foot out there,” He snorts, pulling his phone out of his back pocket to check the weather report “It should calm down in about half an hour so there’s that,”

“Every time I go near water after I’ve just dyed my hair it runs, and although I’ve not tested it on cold water I really don’t want to look like a murder victim, so I daren’t try it,” Remy wonders why they hadn’t spoken more before, they have most of their shifts together, he thinks Emile might be a student too but it’s a little difficult to remember if he’d ever asked. So he asks.

“Are you a student too?” And Emile smiles wonderfully, excitedly even, the sort of smile people get when they’re offered a question they love answering, or get to talk about something they adore.

“Yep! I’m currently doing my undergraduate in Psychology,” It’s hard to imagine this man as a serious mental health professional. He’s wearing a shirt under his apron that has little Jigglypuff’s pasted over and over again in diagonal patterns, and a charm bracelet that has a little pink pearl. “I really enjoy it, Human minds are…so fascinating and complex yet so easily damaged, I’m currently writing my dissertation on Anxiety disorders and their severities and why there is currently and increase and…sorry I’m rambling,” His cheeks flush as pink as his hair, or at least close to that.

Remy’s heart stammers in his chest. “No it’s fine,” He manages out; throat feeling suddenly tootight as do his lungs, in fact all rational thought seems vaguely distant now. He never wants this man to stop talking, why hadn’t he spoken to him beforeis an even more pressing matter? “Tell me all about it,” And suddenly work is something for someone else and his life belongs to someone else as he leans against the table.

Emile beams as though he doesn’t get told that often, this is heart breaking in its own right. “Well, I was diagnosed with Autism when I was super young and then as I got older I was diagnosed with Anxiety, which most stemmed from developmental issues influenced by how other people treated my Autism,” Remy nods “And it’s always super effected me, you know? People always either treated me like glass or ignored my existence or just were plain awful to me over it, and no matter how hard I tried sometime sit felt like they were speaking a different language to me, so I grew up isolated,” Remy’s eyes softened, but not out of pity, he thinks his only other emotion would be anger because why would people treat other people like that? He can’t understand it. “When I first started learning psychology it was because I wanted to help myself but now I just don’t want other people to feel like me, like I did for so long,”

“That’s admirable,” Remy says softly “I’m sorry people treated you like that, that’s…shit that sucks man,” Emile laughs a little, glad he’s not getting a pity speech “I could totally kick their asses for you,” He folds the cloth neatly in his hand, Emile’s eyes follow the movement briefly.

“I’d rather you didn’t,” He smiles though “What made you chose that colour?” He gestures to Remy’s nails, the paint is a little chipped but it’s clearly black and sparkly. “You wear a lot of black, sometimes people in psychology say people who don’t wear colour often see themselves as lacking it, but I just think people think black is a nice colour, and it is,”

“Just suits my aesthetic,” Remy shrugs “Although you might be onto something,” He leans up off the counter to put the cloth away. There’s some moments of silence and Remy can feel Emile’s eyes watching him carefully, like a birdwatcher sat so still so they can study a rare species of some sorts. “I feel like you have a question you want to ask?” The dark-eyed man speaks quietly, but his voice comes out at a much higher pitch to that which he had planned to speak. His cheeks flush a little, and he looks up at Emile, who looks like a deer caught in the headlights. “Go on,”

“Are you gay?” Emile blurts out and then clasps his hand over his mouth “Oh gosh that was totally meant to stay in my head, that is not how I planned to ask you out at all,” He rubs his hand against his forehead in a little stress, Remy smiles in amusement as he begins to ramble “I was going to play it cool and just you know, drop a casual hint and then see if you take it, or ask you if you want coffee or something or,” Remy places his hand lightly on Emile’s wrist, Emile trails off and blinks.

“I’m gay, and yes,”

“Yes?”

“I’ll get coffee with you,” His eyes go to the outside, where the rain is still hammering “in fact, there’s no time like the present,” He taps the coffee machine, which is still not turned off, then takes a cup for himself, and one for Emile off of the side “May I take your order?” `Emile smiles at him, biting his lip shyly.

“Are you on the menu?” He flirts lightly, Remy’s heart stutters a little and his cheeks feel so warm and honestly, he cannotstop smiling. This was the something different he’d been praying for, it’s a little funny how change can come from something right in front of you, that had been in front of you for months. Almost a year, in fact.

“Maybe later,” Remy winks, fighting down a part of his that is so flustered and blushing and squealing like a teenager. It feels strange, to have known Emile for so long and not even realised or noticed that he was interested in him. Remy hadn’t quite noticed Emile at all, now he thinks that was a dumb thing to do because he sounds like a dream and looks so pretty and he’s really, really nice. Nice men aren’t something so common in Remy’s life at all.

“In the meantime I suppose I’ll have a caramel latte, with cream,” Remy sets about preparing the order “I feel like you might have questions and that’s okay you know, you’re allowed to ask me about my Autism,” Emile continues, leaning against the counter “You have my explicit permission to do so,”

Remy thinks about this for a moment, he knows very little about Autism, but it also doesn’t feel far to treat Emile like a research book “What do you need me to avoid?” He finally settles on, placing the warm cup next to Emile, as the barista hops up on the counter.

“Oh,” he sounds surprised “Well I don’t like sudden loud noises, I’m learning to cope with sensory overload because of…well because of my job,” That hardly sounds fair, Remy narrates internalising, that Emile has to force himself to cope with these things and can’t have his own way to do so. “But in general I pretty much always have headphones,” He shrugs a little “Sometimes I don’t like being touched but I can tell you when that is, if you really want to…you know, hang out more?”

“Okay,” Remy nods “Is there anything you need me to know?” Emile makes a small noise of disbelief.

“You’re strange,” He comments “Most people don’t ask questions like this,”

“What sort of questions do people usually ask?” He honestly isn’t sure of the answer.

“Usually much more invasive ones,” Emile admits with an uncomfortable and…sadlook “Or they treat me like a child,” Remy feels like he’s missing out on a lot of information on how autistic people are treated in the world. He’d always assumed things to be more progressive, but if the look on this man’s face is anything to go off, it most certainly hadn’t. “Sometimes they ask things like ‘is it okay for you to be outside alone?’ or ‘If you’re autistic how come you work?’ or ‘How come you don’t look or sound autistic?’ my favourite so far is ‘Do autistic people have sex, isn’t that kind of…weird?’” he kicks his leg a little, letting the heels tap back against the wood a few times.

Remy blinks a few times “I’m sorry Emile, I don’t really know what to say but…I’m so sorry people treat you like that, that’s a fucking nightmare, you have way more patience than I do,” Emile smiles, looking up at Remy with a small smile.

“I have to be patient, or else people use it against me because of my Autism, or people use it against other people with Autism, we’re not allowed to be angry or have meltdowns or we’re branded as dangerous,” He sips his cup of coffee “Ever noticed how a lot of school shooters are ‘hypothesised to be Autistic?’” Remy’s blood runs cold in his veins. “You look horrified,”

“I don’t really keep up with the news, or really anything except walking to work, doing work, eating and going to bed, always figured the world would sort itself out or it’d die in the process,” Maybe this is also the change he’s looking for “I should do some more research,” he thinks aloud, staring at the surface of his coffee cup, in the process he completely misses the way Emile’s face lights up. “Would you like to keep talking about this, or something else?”

“Well I would, but not right now, I’m too tired to be this sad,” Emile looks up at Remy with a small and less melancholy smile. He feels happy despite the conversation, to finally have met someone who cares enough to listen and ask. “Let’s talk about something else,”

And they do talk. They talk way past the time that the rain slows, they talk way past the calming of the thunderstorm which had been why they talked in the first place. They talk until Emile is leaning tiredly against Remy, and Remy is feeling his heartbeat thunder in his chest louder than any storm, and more forceful at that.

Remy calls Emile a cab, worried that he’s practically falling asleep standing. He gives him his number though, although he’ll see him tomorrow evening for the two hour shift they have like clockwork every Thursday. They’re both working much more than they legally should. Emile kisses his cheek and says he’ll see Remy tomorrow.

Remy says he can’t wait.

For the first time in a long time he feels like he has a sense of purpose, a sense of will and of need. Life doesn’t feel like a dull rhythm as he walks home with a smile on his face and a little skip in his step. Yes,he decides, it is strange what just looking a little closer can do to your life.

Like my work? Consider buying me a virtual coffee!

Taglist:

@analogical-mess // @unikornavenger // @mycatshuman // @creativity-killed-thekitten// @theresneverenoughfandoms // @charmingprincey // @heck-im-lost// @k9cat // @stilljittery // @romansleftshoulderpad // @sanderssideslibrary // @max-is-tired // @trashypansexual // @demigodnamedathena // @sevencrashing // @jemthebookworm // @sandersandthesides // @penguinkool // @georganabanana // @ao-koshka // @dangerous-doodle // @hell-or-high-waters // @no-sleep-gang-posts // @marshmallow-the-panda // @flix-net // @omni-hamiltrash // @an-absolute-failure // @mason-does-a-thing // @iceoblivious // @fandermom //

–

#Remile #ts sides #ts shorts #emile picani #Remy Sanders

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