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ourimpavidheroine · 3 years

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I’ve gotta say, I’m really enjoying these stories. Also, your late father sounds like an amazing man. I can really see the inspiration for LoLo come out in your mentions of him.

When my mother got pregnant with me - a planned pregnancy, they were young when they married but I was born 16 months later - my father knew from the get-go that he wanted a girl.

This was (and, I am sad to say, still is) an unusual thing for a father to wish for. Most fathers wish for a son. My Dad, however, was raised by a drunken, abusive, narcissistic man and he was afraid that if he had a son he’d just turn into his father. He thought a daughter would help him break that cycle of abuse.

When I was born he told the nurse who brought me out to him in the waiting room that I was an angel, and Angel was the nickname that he alone called me.

He and I were very, very close, something that made my mother and younger brother jealous. (I didn’t really see or understand that until after he died when I was 26.) There was nothing whatsoever or remotely sexual about it, which is what people usually assume when a father and daughter are very close. As my girlhood best friend said to me a few months ago, my father thought the sun rose and set on me, thought that I was his fairy princess. All of my odd, Autistic/ADHD weirdness was something he loved. I always knew he loved me not just despite my weirdness but because of it. (Something that my late wife did as well.)

My father was a brilliant man. He graduated high school at 15 and went into university to study architecture. Academically he handled it, but he was way too young to handle the social aspects as well as the responsibility of it and so he dropped out a year later. Things were apparently hellish with my grandfather and my Dad enlisted in the Army on his 18th birthday. This was 1965 and the US started sending soldiers to Vietnam. Not my Dad, though. He took some tests the military gave him and after boot camp spent his entire three years on a Nike missle base in the middle of Milwaukee, working on one of those huge old mainframe computers (you know, the kind with punch cards). I’m guessing they didn’t send the really smart ones off to be killed.

He taught himself how to be an architect through reading books at the library, including textbooks that he would sit and read at UC Berkeley’s library, even though he wasn’t a student there any longer. Then, after he had learned that, he read through engineering and physics textbooks. Then he read through every single book he could find that taught him how to actually build the structures he had learned to draw. He was completely self-taught, and the man not only designed and built complicated, Broadway-worthy theater sets he also designed and built houses from the ground up. He wanted to build a rock retaining wall at our house (which was located at the base of a hill and was on an incline) and so he went to the library and got a book about how Romans built walls and spent three years going to the local river to source variously-sized river rocks to build that retaining wall, which he did completely without any kind of mortar, just balancing the rocks perfectly. It’s still standing, 40 years later.

He always worked at very menial jobs - he was a line cook, a stocker in a supermarket produce department, an RV park manager, etc. He was terrible with money, didn’t understand it at all. We lived right on top of the poverty line. He had zero executive functioning and that caused a lot of problems for all of us and meant a lot of broken promises, too.

I am completely sure that like me, like both of his grandchildren, he had Autism and ADHD. Not diagnosed of course, they weren’t in those days, But he had them nevertheless.

He was a voracious reader and introduced me to sci fi and fantasy. On my eighth birthday he gave me his copies of The Lord of the Rings and had me read them. (This was 1977, trust me when I tell you those books were not a household name at that point.) He’d wake me up at 3:30 am and we’d go fishing together, him with a thermos of black coffee, me with a bottle of orange juice and a box of Entenmann’s mixed donuts and we’d sit there in happy silence together, fishing and enjoying each other’s company. He was a wonderful storyteller and only once did he get angry with me. He never laid a hand on me or my brother but the one time he got angry with me he slapped me across the face and then the both of us cried.

He taught me many useful skills, like how to jimmy locks and how to walk through people unseen and how to learn on my own how to do things and how to make the world’s best pie. He always told me that I could absolutely anything I put my mind to. When I asked him once if that meant I could be a father - I was joking - he looked me straight in the eye and asked me if I actually wanted to be a father. When I told him no he responded that he had said if I had put my mind to it, and he wasn’t vouching for anything I pulled when I didn’t care.

He also told me that I was the strongest person he’d ever met and when I scoffed at that he shook his head and said, “Angel, most people see you and they have no idea at all what’s inside of you and what you are capable of. There is nothing in this life you won’t overcome. Someday, when we’re both dead, you come find me and tell me I’m wrong.” (So far, he has not been wrong.)

He was a functioning drunk; he only drank after 8 at night, however. Just enough to make sure he’d not be hungover in the morning. He was a night person and all his life only needed about 4 hours of sleep to be completely rested.

He loved movies but he hated to go alone and usually took me. Not all of these movies were appropriate for kids my age but there it was. When I was eleven he took me with him to see The Elephant Man and I broke down completely, devastated and sobbing, horrified at how cruel people were to the lead character, just because he was different. After the movie we sat in the car and he held me until I was done crying and when I was all done he told me to never forget how the movie had made me feel and to remember that no matter how different people were from me they were all human and deserved kindness, compassion and understanding. This was a lesson I have tried very hard to live throughout my life. He took people at face value, and that included everyone. I don’t think he was particularly woke based on 2021 sentiments but he tried very hard to treat people equally and that included queer people during the AIDS crisis, too.

He was a feminist and believed women should be equal to men. He walked the walk, too: he cooked, he cleaned, he changed diapers, etc. And by that I mean he did them as par for the course, as part of his daily life. He did not rely on my mother’s emotional labor to remind him to do shit. He just did it because things needed doing and he was a grownass man, not a man-child. He did not consider caring for his children as babysitting, either.

He liked to sing. My mother and brother have opera-quality singing voices - for real, both of them are quite gifted - but his wasn’t like that, it was just a perfectly ordinary, passable baritone, just like mine is a perfectly ordinary, passable alto. He sang and he whistled when he was happy and I do the same. He used to make up funny little songs and rhymes on the spot, he had a gift for improvisation that way. I wish I had inherited that but alas! No.

Even when he was a boy all of the neighborhood kids would come to him with broken toys to be fixed. He quite genuinely liked kids and even teenagers and spent a lot of time working with the local high school drama department, building the sets, working as the stage manager and setting up and working the lights and soundboard (he taught himself to do that as well) and even directing some of the plays when the drama teacher was out on maternity leave. To this day I still get contacted by people who were in school with me or my brother who tell me what an influence my father was on them, the special things he did for them to make sure they knew he was paying attention and cared. One guy a couple of years ago contacted me on Facebook and told me that he got into some trouble after high school, even got imprisoned for a few months. My father visited him in prison and afterwards took him to AA with him, became his sponsor, helped keep on the straight and narrow. He named his oldest son after my father, in fact. I hear a lot of those stories.

He loved books and he loved music and he taught me to love those things as well. He fell in love with my mother when he was seventeen and married her five years later and came to regret it - like his father, his wife was an abusive, narcissistic person. He stayed with her, though, until my second year of university, when he abruptly walked out on her, went to AA and quit drinking. I asked him about it later; he told me that he had wanted to leave her for years but knew that if he did he’d never see me or my younger brother again. The courts in those days automatically gave kids to the mother and my mother was an accomplished liar and would have told the courts anything and they would have believed her. Once I was out of the house and secure, then he was done. (The fact that my brother was only fifteen and left to fend for himself with my mother was...not good. Not good at all. My father was not perfect and he was not a saint and that was a mistake that still has repercussions today.) He did not do enough to protect me from my mother while I was growing up, however. He regretted it, he told me later. I understand now that he was constantly walking a knife’s edge, trying to keep her satisfied enough so she wouldn’t try to take me away from him, but it took therapy long after he died for me to really understand that.

His special interest was model railroading and he built these amazing, intricate landscapes, all by hand and by scratch. The man took latex molds off the sides of rocks to build mountains with and built buildings out of tiny pieces of wood and such. I spent many hours with him as he built, listening to music and reading or just laying there, thinking my thinks, or sometimes chattering nonstop to him.

He called me, every single Friday night, right after the X-Files ended, right after the child’s voice said “I made this.” My phone would ring and we’d chat for hours, talking about the show (we both loved it) and whatever else. He lived about 5 hours away from me at the time and we did talk at other times during the week but that was our standard date. He died in the middle of Season 2 and to this very goddamn fucking day whenever I hear that “I made this” I wait for my phone to ring. And I cry every single time because he will never call me again.

I absolutely think that meeting my late wife via the X-Files was my father, watching out for me. When my twins were newborn and pretty much all I did 24x7 was breastfeed them I re-watched the entirety of X-Files on the DVDs I had and I’d talk to my father in my head, telling him about his grandchildren.

He’d always buy the new Stephen King books in hardcover and read them and then give them to me to keep. He especially loved the Dark Tower series but I haven’t finished the ones that were published after he died. I bought them myself but they are still sitting on my bookshelf, unread. I just can’t.

He died in the hospital after being in a coma for a week. The ICU nurses were very kind and showed me how I could turn off the life support machine if I wanted to and told me that I could be in there with him as long as I needed. They very considerately closed all of the curtains and closed the door to the room. I was alone with him in there and I turned off the machine and I held his hand and I sang to him as he died. I didn’t want him to be alone.

He was right. I was strong enough to do that. It hurt, though. It still hurts.

He’s buried in California with a free military headstone because my comfortably upper middle class grandfather refused to shell out for a headstone and I was flat broke. Many years later I had a regular stone engraved with the words, “Go then, there are other worlds than these” and I placed it at our summer cottage here in Finland for him. I like to think that he and my late wife are keeping company. They never met here, but they would have liked each other very much, that I do know.

#impavid storytime #my father #long post #I loved him very much #in case you didn't get that from this #Anonymous

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a-woman-apart · 4 years

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Separating the Boys from the Men

Yes, that title is click bait, and if you keep reading, you’ve been warned. I’ve got a lot to get off my chest, and it’s going to involve defending masculinity, femininity, and our right to BEHAVE LIKE CHILDREN FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES because in many ways, we already do.

Let’s get straight to the point. As Millennials, regardless of our age, financial status, or level of “success” (air quotes 100% intentional) we have been accused of being lazy, entitled, and way too enthusiastic about avocado toast. At the same time, we have been described as having enough power to decimate the napkin industry, the diamond industry, and the concept of traditional marriage. We have been accused of a collective “Peter Pan” syndrome, because we “refuse” to cut off papa’s apron strings and get off the proverbial mama’s teats.

Wonderful to know.

Let’s unpack the “lazy” bit. Supposedly, this is tied to the fact that we have access to higher education, we [often, not always] have parents who financially support or house us well into adulthood.

So now, my question is, Gen X (the entitled ones, ironically) and Salty Boomers, YOU DIDN’T?

What do you call that “inheritance” you received? What do you call that education your parents paid for that was less than 1/3 what we have to pay? For Boomers, how do you explain the lavish weddings, cheap [and apparently nuke proof] home appliances, and “nights out on the town” that you were able to afford by working at whatever passed for a McDonald’s back in the day? Working on a farm, at a grocery store, or in retail used to ACTUALLY provide a livable wage; for us, those are a “side hustle” and we still have to get a “big boy job” that usually requires an education that can put us over $100,000 in debt by age 30.

Hate to say it, but if you hadn’t made most of your income “during the War” or in the absolute economic boom that followed it, you wouldn’t survive 24 hours in our shoes before having an emotional collapse.

Despite the disastrous living conditions of the U.S. in the 21st Century, not much has changed in how men define their level of “manliness.”

Financial gains (stocks, bonds, portfolio, bank account)

Bro “gains” (a.k.a. “gym gains”, how “Gaston” they are, including whether they want to go for the Adonis, Apollo, or Brawny boi look, or just how far they can throw something or how “boyish” they look if strength isn’t an option and they suffer from femme-levels of body dysmorphia)

Body count (since we’re in a time of peace and not literally war, this is LITERALLY a modern term describing how many people you’ve slept with, and I have never heard an adult man, regardless of sexual orientation, who isn’t a little concerned about putting those notches in the bed post, and if not that, VERY concerned about his bedroom performance: it’s quality vs. quantity)

Kill death Ratio (I know this is a video game term now, but did you know that before video games, men in England used to regularly get on horseback, get a bunch of hounds together, and chase down tiny foxes and rabbits? FOR FUN?!?!? Did you know, that before modern sports ((including Esports)), men used to just fight to the death, regularly, even if an official war wasn’t going on? It was known as “dueling”, and in less socially developed societies, men still behave like this. So the next time you complain about “male rage” and how heartless it is to make live chickens fight, note that even though we’ve quelled male anger and hostility on some level, you will NEVER be able to take away man’s urge to destroy. Boys and men will always like knocking things over, building things from the rubble, and ruling shit. It’s what they do-- and we women can and do, too, but we have a LOT more risk-aversion and self-preservation, which is a blessing and a curse for our species-- but we just need to make sure humanity as a whole stays...chill)

So what, say ye, has changed about how WOMEN define themselves now vs. in the past. I would say that very little has changed, but the level of internalized misogyny, insecurity, and good-old fashioned denial has SKYROCKETED.

Let’s look at some terms of how the majority of women value themselves.

Financial Security (few women will admit to “wanting to be rich”, because that sounds kind of “Trump”, but plenty will talk about having minimum income requirements for their partner(s), wanting to retire at a young age so they can “travel the world”, wanting to eliminate their debts, etc. It’s different language but essentially it translates to: I want to work so hard or marry into so much wealth that I never want to worry about money after age 35. #Hustle)

Looks (it doesn’t matter if you want a Kardashian butt, you’re in the body positivity movement, or you just want to “dress like a bawse” women are just as obsessed with clothes, image, and body weight/shape/size as they ever were, it is just that now that we’ve “slain the patriarchy” we have more fashion options than ever before, because “boy clothes” are just as “in” as femme ones)

Ability to attract a partner (some women, like me, “chase”, but thanks to biology, most women, regardless of sexual orientation, seem to enjoy being pursued more than being Artemis-style hunters. This is evidenced by the fact that when the feminist owner of Bumble changed the rules of the dating website to where women had to start conversations with men rather than vice versa ((a move that had ostensibly zero effect on lesbian matching)) 72% of women that she later surveyed stated that they liked it better when men were approaching them rather than the other way around. I am sure Bumble’s female CEO was shook ((as was I)), especially because she made the change to empower women, and apparently 72% of women didn’t want the power because it meant they now had the power to face rejection, and it made them uncomfortable. Big yikes. So much for #EndPatriarchy and #ChivalryisDead ?)

Playing house (this is probably going to get me some unfollows, but I’ll take my chances. Women, regardless of sexual orientation, often seem to be REALLY into having babies or just “playing house.” There’s also men like this, too, “Family men” as they’re aptly called, men in love with fatherhood ((or just being called “daddy”, and that will never not be weird)). So many women who never want to pop out a baby describe being taken by an OVERWHELMING urge to fuck during their “fertile window” ((or is that just me?)) and seeing every baby alive as the cutest human being ever once we pass the tender age of 25. The biological clock is REAL, and I learned the hard way that being bisexual and having immense fear of pregnancy and childbirth didn’t spare me from the awful truth of my biology.

I really don’t want to keep making references to modern video games, but they seem to serve the dual purpose of being deeply satisfying and helping us to quell “problematic” urges, including that one to dominate and destroy the world. For a lot of women gamers, though, our choices ((on a broad scale, every #girlgamer is different)) deviate from men’s in some interesting ways.

#1: We still love The Sims Franchise way more than guys do

Not only do we love it, but while a lot of men (again, #notallmen) tend to build elaborate neighborhoods to extensively mod and destroy them in terrifying ways, I still see women gamers taking obscene amounts of time to design homes, raise happy little families, and cause TERRIFYING blood feuds by having Sims marry Sims from rival families ((I guess we’re more Shakespeare than we thought, eh ladies?))

#2: We make up most of mobile gaming

Most male gamers think mobile games “aren’t real” and I tend to agree, but a mobile game is invaluable for when I, a woman, have time to kill between the 3 jobs I hypothetically have and I and don’t want to whip out something like a Nintendo 2DS that is both unwieldly and attracts the eyes of every impoverished, thieving human being in a .5 mile radius. #RiskAversion. These games are often low-quality, mindless, and insanely easy, but that is WHY WE LIKE THEM. Our entire life is a job. #Hustle

#3 We also love farming sims and RPGs

While we-- and most male Millennials-- beg god to not have to birth calves, milk cows, or labor in the tomato fields under the hot sun, most of us have no objection to having our virtual avatars perform the same back-breaking tasks to the tune of cheerful chiptune music. Also, even though men definitely enjoy them, too, I have never met a woman gamer who didn’t enjoy a nice RPG; why do you think we’re such avid readers of fantasy/romance YA?

We want to be transported to a different world, and if you won’t take us there, we’re happy to go there virtually ((because we probably can’t afford travel; we’re still millennials)).

Ability to murder people who threaten our young or our partner(s) (Okay this one is a bit more complicated, but I’m just going to tell you a bit about female animals. DON’T MESS WITH THEIR BABIES IF YOU WANT TO LIVE. Human females, are, in that regard, just as savage, if not more so, than our male counterparts.

I’ve never heard of any woman ((outside of prison, maybe)) who killed another woman for “looking at her weird” or saying “your mama” too many times. I’ve heard plenty of women threaten literal murder because another woman ((or man, we’re #progressive)) came too close to her romantic/sexual partner, or another human being threatened harm on our kids or our “squad.”

I don’t know where the meme truly originated from, but “Don’t talk to me or my son ever again” is SUCH a Mom thing to say. So much misandry is wrapped up in the idea that men are predators, and that is true, but not in the excessively sexually deviant ways you think ((that’s only sometimes true)). They just like hunting things, including people, but if you give them a toy to play with ((I MEAN ACTUAL TOY OMG)) they seem alright. Let them go play with their cars, Xbox, [insert whatever] or something. They’re men, okay, they’re easily distracted/impressed/occupied.

Women, on the other hand, have seemed to be having an EXTREME amount of trouble curbing that baby-making urge, or the Excessive Nurturing Urge, that one that makes you ask your grown husband if he’s remembered to pack lunch for work or if he remembered to pack money for his playdate with his bros, because he’s gonna need money at Six Flags and you aren’t going to bring it to him because he should’ve remembered, you reminded him 30093390 times.

THAT’S NOT HIS FAULT. HE HAS MANAGED BY SOME MIRACLE TO STAY ALIVE FOR 33 YEARS. THAT’S YOU, SWEETIE. STOP BEING SUCH A MOM. GO BE A NURSE, DOCTOR, OR SOCIAL WORKER OR SOMETHING OMG.

In summary...

What separates the “men from the boys” or the “women from the girls” isn’t the era that we were born in to, our economic status, or whether we’ve been able to “conquer” our biology. That’s definitely not possible yet, chiefly because transhumanism involves a lengthy, ethics-guided process, and even if we all turn into cyborgs, the goal is to become BETTER humans, not LESS humane. Societal advancements have done more in terms of making us healthier, less destructive citizens of planet earth than raw technology ever can and ever will. Rapid technological advancement, when not combined with respect for morality, ethical standards of living for humans and all other life forms, almost always leads to human slavery, widespread abuse of animals, sex trafficking, and environmental destruction, because the “rules of supply and demand”, when not governed by strong international trade laws, dictate that consumers should be supplied with whatever they demand, because the suppliers can profit, and their right to profit should be defended at any cost.

So, in summary, I believe that “adulting” involves giving up on entitlement. What separates a truly childish human being-- regardless of their actual age-- from someone who is, in essence, “adulting” is experience, and how much those experiences serve to broaden that person’s perspective. It is an extremely childish, self-centered view, to think that you “deserve” anything for being “a good person” or, in the case of many a “woman child” or “man child” in media and in real life, just being “not so bad.”

Grown-ups are able and willing to do something that is known as “delaying gratification” which is the simple ability to delay a temporary pleasure for a long-term gain. Grown-ups are also able to perform true “cost-benefit analyses” to determine if a course of action, business deal, or even relationship is worth their time and effort. Finally, grown-ups are able and willing and able to make an informed choice and stick to it; in essence, we don’t try to “have our cake and eat it too” we understand that once we’ve eaten that cake, the cake is gone, but we also realize that if we are willing to work hard and make sacrifices, we can earn the ingredients to make ourselves another cake to eat, even if we might need a lot of help from other adults in getting those ingredients (we call this teamwork and cooperation).

Children, on the other hand (in literal and metaphorical terms), are very impatient. They get angry when things don’t go their way, and instead of taking the steps needed to improve their situation, they storm off and return home. It doesn’t matter if their home is with their parents, with their 3 roommates, or with their husband or wife, these people throw tantrums, refuse to communicate/cooperate, and stew in their displeasure until someone feels sorry for them and fixes their problem for them. They lack the ability to work through daily life problems and refuse to take any responsibility for how their actions or inaction contributed to their dilemma.

There is one difference with an actual human child or teen, though, is that they have an excuse. Their brains are still developing, and they haven’t had the chance to live through these situations yet; these are new challenges to them. Even if they do have a “bad attitude”, with help from peers and patients, principled adult mentors and teachers, these cantankerous kids can grow into well-adjusted, able adults. The high levels of neuroplasticity in their brains actually make it so that it is easier for them to accept large amounts of sensory data and to learn from processing and practicing using it.

An “adult child” is someone who, more often than not, has been coddled instead of challenged. These people have often faced no significant hardships in life. There is a reason why, even after we have recognized the immense downsides of authoritarian parenting and have demonstrated psychological harms of corporal punishment for kids, we still call “bad kids” and “irresponsible adults” spoiled.

Authoritarianism produces rigid, scared people who often struggle with critical thinking and self-esteem or end up being authoritarian parents themselves, but that last one is actually one of the less likely options. Children of authoritarian parents often develop Borderline Personality Disorder or become defiant against authority (shocker). Overly permissive or overly neglectful parenting, though, are parental styles most associated with producing narcissists, who often become authoritarian parents, because when their kids challenge them, they completely lack the patience or emotional capacity to deal with it and resort to “because I said so”, stonewalling and/or physical abuse as forms of “character-building.”

The reason why overly permissive parents spoil their kids is because kids actually do need discipline and guidance, and so these kinds of parents produce kids who are outwardly capable and confident but completely lack any of the life skills to justify it, and when they ask their parents for advice they are just met with a bunch of hippie mumbo jumbo or told to just avoid the conflict rather than resolve it. These kids grow into adults who are still sad little kids inside, because they never grew up, but now they’re sad little kids who are articulate and well-spoken and now can-- and often have no choice-- but to con their way through adult life because they’ve maxed out Charisma and they have almost no points in Strength, Intelligence, Wisdom, or Dexterity.

The only parenting style worse than Authoritarian and Neglectful/Permissive is Mixed, in which a child grows up in a COMPLETELY unpredictable environment where the rules of the game change from day to day, and parents either give their children no attention at all, or they practically lock them up and throw away the key. Being raised like this is associated with the worse outcomes for the child throughout life.

So, why am I now talking about parenting styles? Because, for all that we love to trash Boomers and large swaths of Gen X on this page, we can’t forget where they came from, so we cannot allow them to forget WHO THEY MADE. It isn’t an accident that even though we live in the times of incredible economic hardship, WE are the generation (and Gen Z, to some extent) that got hooked on reality TV, video games, and social media in incredibly unhealthy ways. A lot of us 30+ millennials are growing out of it, and a lot of us have realized that it is an invaluable (and damn near unavoidable) way of marketing our products and talents. We’re often self-employed because that’s our only option in most cases.

The issue with Gen Z (who, while we called “Zoomers” now just all themselves “Doomers” and I think we should be a bit concerned about that) is that unlike us, they have no memory of “Before the Internet.” We remember dial up, we remember before that when you played outside untl the sun went down. They don’t have the privilege of being linked to that history.

Now, we have to be the Bigger Person. It’s our time to be Grown-Ups. Gen Z feels really fucking lost right now, and hearing us whine about our parents probably makes them pretty pissed off, when some of us older millennials are the parents, aunts/uncles, and older siblings to Gen Z kids. Even if we can’t be mentors, we have to lead by example, because we have a responsibility to these kids. A lot of them aren’t stupid, they see exactly what’s happening and they feel incredibly hopeless about it. Greta Thunberg is still 16 years old. She shouldn’t be out there doing that; I mean seriously, climate change is accelerating, but it isn’t even as bad as Al Gore said, it’s still reversible, but the fact that SHE FELT SHE HAD TO makes us shitty people. ALL OF US.

So you know, we all need to stop being hypocrites. We need to stop being entitled. We need to stop thinking this is about us. It isn’t. Not even close. We’re not important, even if our videos go viral or if we’re swimming in cash next to hot models by a huge swimming pool. America’s fucked up. I hate to sound Republican, but it’s because of our values. We suck at valuing what’s important, and if we don’t change that soon, it’s really going to suck to live in America.

It already does.

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nacenerp · 3 years

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strange question, but how does pregnancy work between all the species? can droids have children?

𝙷𝙴𝙻𝙻𝙾! Thank you for the question, my friend! Hopefully I’m not leaving you waiting too long!

TW: PREGNANCY, MISCARRAIGE, AND GESTATION TALK!

𝐃𝐑𝐎𝐈𝐃𝐒: I’ll start with them first! Older droids do not have the option of having children unless they are modified. Even then, it is risky and will usually result in a destruction of the droid in some way or another — with the Sander Corporation coming after them for modification or breaking down from a botched procedure. The newer models have been equipped to potentially host a pregnancy, but they have not been very successful.

𝐃𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐍: They have a gestation period of 393 days, usually! It can lead from anywhere from one child to up to forty. They’re ovoviviparous as well.

𝐁𝐇𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐑: They have one of the longest pregnancies out of all the species! Their pregnancy is, on average, 590 days. They usually only have the single child, with very rare occurrences of twins. Otherwise their pregnancy is relatively gentle, with very few complications down to the birth. Because of the longer gestation, they end up being larger than a human birth — and human/bhevor children are highly discouraged for the risk to a human host.

𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐋: The closest to a human pregnancy, they average at 260 days for their pregnancy. There are no real differences between Ghel and human pregnancies, apart from the fact that it takes a stronger toll on the host in the long run. They also will only have a single child as well, with the chances of having even twins is next to zero. There have only been 14 recorded cases of twins since the beginning of Ghel!

𝐁𝐎𝐋𝐔𝐆: The nightmare of all pregnancies! Because of their shorter lifespan, their pregnancy has been adapted to be even shorter. They are pregnant for, on average, 108 days. Some make it to 120 days. But with their large size and tendency to have multiples, the pregnancy is a very awful experience!

𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐍: On average, the pregnancy was up to 250 days. Pregnancy was a spiritual experience for those who were lucky to have it — despite their large population, they amount of Rwaddians with children were few and far between.

— 𝐀𝐃𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐌

#rp #rpg #rwaddiq #ghelq #bolugq #bhevorq #droidq #dhaphrealleanq #faq #Anonymous

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dawnwave16 · 4 years

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A Magical Friendship

Let’s see who still reads my stories... As some may have noticed there are only 2 chapters of ‘Gamer Girl’ posted here on tumblr despite it actually being 5 chapters long. If you want them, they are up on AO3 but I got tired of ZERO feedback here so I stopped posting. If you like my work feel free to read everything there, depending if this story receives any feedback I might consider continuing to post my stuff here...

Rant over on with the story.

[Lily was 16 Hotch was 17 at a summer camp. This means I've changed the year that Hotch was born to 1963 and Lily's to 1964. She would have hidden her pregnancy with her robes and James would have helped her by saying that the child was his when she gave birth in the hospital wing.] The case should have been a simple one. Sure it was on a par with some of the worst they had ever worked what with the fact that the unsub was raping and torturing his victims before dismembering them while they were alive but with that level of planning and execution, it should have been easy to get the unsub to slip up. It hadn't been. The unsub had left no DNA for them, the cuts lacked tool marks and the bodies were too clean considering everything that had been done to them. They hadn't even been able to tell what had been used to clean them before they were dumped. It was beginning to look like the case was going to go cold. Reid was staring at the board they had been using for an hour when Morgan walked in and put a cup of green tea next to him. “What do you see, Pretty Boy?” “Something I'm not sure how to react to,” Reid replied softly his eyes yet to move from the board. “Explain,” Hotch said bluntly, having walked in behind Morgan. “All the victims fit the same profile. Petit, well off, successful women that are all unbelievably well-liked due to their kind and giving nature. Our unsub is somehow changing the victim's natural hair colour to black and their eyes to the same shade of malachite green, leaving no evidence as to how.” “We know all of this Reid. While we don't like it and find it unnerving, you seem to be taking that harder than the rest of us. The question is why?” Rossi cut in. “Simple, they are all being made to look like one person and unless they somehow have a twin, the only place they could have met her was in the UK. I know that everyone is said to have a physical twin somewhere in the world but given what these victims are going through, that seems unlikely to be the case here.” “Pretty Boy are you telling me you know who the unsub is trying to make their victims look like?” Morgan asked in disbelief. “Yes. And if my suspicions are correct, she is the only one who will be able to help us catch this person. The only problem is...” Reid trailed off. “Is what?” JJ queried. “No, not now. It won't impact on the case and in all honestly, I don't have any proof as to if what I suspect is true.” Reid said shaking his head before pulling his phone out of his pocket and dialling a number. “Hey, sorry did I wake you? Really? It's 08:30 AM so it should be 04:00 AM in London, did you have to wake up early for a meeting? Oh, wait so where are you? Alright then, um, can you do me a huge favour and come to the police station then? It's really important. Great see you in 5 minutes then!” Reid hung up the phone and looked at it in amazement. “What are the odds?” He murmured. “What are the odds of what?” Hotch practically demanded. “The person that I said all our victims resemble and that I suspect may be able to help us? She's here, in Salem, as a guest lecturer for something.” Reid said still looking amazed. This startled the team. Hotch was about to start asking Reid more questions when there was a knock on the door and he turned to see a pixie-like woman. She had long black hair tied neatly in a braid down her back which drew attention to her high cheekbones and pale pink, cupids bow lips. Her malachite green eyes were frames by thick lashes and a pair of black-rimmed butterfly glasses seemed to make her eyes even larger. She was dressed casually as she was wearing a pair of stonewashed blue jeans that she had paired with a slightly oversized red shirt printed with a gold lion and a pair of sneakers. She was also wearing a black double-breasted coat but it was hanging open. Morgan's jaw dropped as he looked her over a few times as if trying to confirm what he was seeing. Reid had looked up at the knock and smiled when he saw her. “Will! Hey, thanks for coming at such short notice. Guys, this is Willow Potter, we've been friends since we were children,” He said as he stood to greet her properly. “Penn, good to see you. It's been too long.” Her voice was soft yet it carried a hint of steal that let them know she was stronger than she looked. “So, not to be rude but what's up? You didn't say what was wrong on the phone and while I was trying to organise some time off to visit, you wouldn't have asked me to come here unless something had gone seriously wrong.” She smiled sadly as she spoke which helped to keep the tone light despite its severity. “The case we are working on has us baffled but what was of concern to me was how much the victims look like you. Take a look,” he said waving a hand towards the board. The details each of the women's deaths weren't written up but the team was worried about how she would react. She was quiet for a moment as she frowned at the board. “I don't know much about the case but I can see why Penn was worried, they do look a lot like me. Are there any details you can share without compromising your case?” Her voice was flat and gave nothing away which made Reid smile slightly. However, it was Hotch who answered her question. “They were all raped and tortured before being dismembered while they were still alive, then dumped in high profile areas. The problem is the unsub is leaving absolutely no forensic evidence and we have no way of tracking who could be next due to the changes he makes to his victims.” His voice was clinical as he spoke almost as though he was trying to shock her. “Any symbols left behind from where ever the women were taken from or even somewhere on their homes?” Willow asked calmly as she processed what had been said. Reid's head snapped towards her. “You think they might be part of Riddle's group?” He asked with a voice laced with worry. “The MO is identical to three members of his old group, so yes. I may be a teacher these days but I had way too much exposure to those sadists to be able to forget that type of thing,” Was her only reply as Morgan placed a video call to Garcia and Hotch called an officer over to ask him the same question. “What type of symbol are we talking about here? And why is it important?” Hotch demanded as the officer went to double-check. “Potentially, yes it is. If your unsub is who I'm thinking it is, your case just got a lot bigger than it already is. The symbol would be a skull with a snake coming out of its mouth.” Weirdly enough the description of the symbol seemed to come in distorted stereo as Willow and Garcia spoke at the same time. Willow's eyes closed as if she was in pain as she heard Garcia's words. “It was found at each of the victims' houses, burned into the door frame.” Garcia continued before looking at Willow, “Oh, um, hi. Sorry, I didn't expect anyone except my team to be there, I'm Penelope Garcia,” Garcia said slightly flustered. “It's alright, unfortunately, your case just got a whole lot worse and more complicated, though,” Willow said with a sigh. “Riddle's group?” Reid asked sadly. “Riddle's group,” Willow confirmed. “Would someone please explain what the significance of 'Riddle's group' is?” Hotch demanded. Willow and Reid exchanged a look before Willow looked at Hotch calmly. “As much as I want to explain it's the significance, I am bound by law to only be able to give you a highly summarised version until I know what everyone is cleared to know. I know Reid has the correct clearance for this, however that has nothing to do with his FBI clearance and more to do with the fact that he has been my voice of sanity since I was ten.” The team stared at Willow even as Reid watched her calmly. He could see the exact moment she came up with a plan and started smiling as a glint that normally spelt trouble for the one on the receiving end appeared in her eyes. “Hey, Garcia?” “Yeah?” “Try inputting Tom Marvelo Riddle, 1981 and Potter. It will throw up an alert that that is restricted information. It will also bring an agent to your office, which means I need to be clearly visible in your video call screen.” “Um, ok but” “The higher up's will block my requests to get the team read in. By them seeing me sitting with everyone here it'll force them to read every one in. If only to give me the chewing out that they'll want to give me.” Willow had a cheeky smirk as she said the last bit. “I hate when politics get in the way of getting a case solved and I'm not afraid of getting into trouble to get my way.” The team stared at her but Garcia did as Willow had suggested only to jump as her door was thrown open. The agent froze when he saw Willow smirking on the video screen. “Potter!” The agent growled. “You going to stonewall me or am I going to be allowed to get these guys read in so that we can get more killers off the streets? At the rate, you lot generally fuck around before you make a decision you are going to have another crisis on your hands that will make Newt's Mess look like a stroll in the park.” Willow had crossed her arms and was speaking to the agent calmly, however, the team could see the clear challenge in her eyes. “I will be reading in Agent Hotchner regardless of your decision just so you know if only so he knows why his team isn't going to be able to do the final takedown.” “What is it with you Brits thinking that you can do this type of thing?” The agent said throwing his hands up in the air. “Oh, I don't know. Maybe the fact that I have experience with chasing DE's and those associated with them? The fact that I took out their leader? Or maybe it is the fact that you are so concerned with possible outcomes that you can't see the forest for the trees? How many cases does this team solve per year? And how many cases do you lot get that sit stagnant on your desk that would

benefit from their expertise but don't get it because they are not read in? With all due respect, I'd recommend sorting out your priorities and realise that you could save more lives by asking for the help that you obviously need.” Willow stared at the agent until he suddenly threw his hands in the air. “On your head be it, Potter! But it's you that will be going before Lopez to defend your actions here. Don't forget to get them to sign the forms.” The agent turned on his heel then staked out the room slamming the door behind him. “That went well,” Willow said with a sigh of relief, flopping back into a chair her eyes closed as the unseen tension drained out of her. The team looked at her with a touch of confusion while Reid put his hand on her shoulder, silently asking if she was alright. “I'm ok, Penn,” she said quietly as Garcia let out a yelp as information suddenly became available to her. “Am I reading this correctly?” Garcia asked bemusedly, “Because if I am then I have to wonder how all of this stays hidden so well and how.” Reid motioned for everyone to take a seat while he closed the door and made the room as secure as he could. Willow cast a couple of discrete spells without taking out her wand and when Reid sat down next to her, the two of them tag-teamed with each other to get the team up to speed about the existence of magic. To say that their reactions would have been comical under any other circumstance was an understatement. “I'm sorry, we've seen a whole lot of weird things due to cases over the last few years but I just can't accept that magic is real with no proof.” Morgan spluttered. “That's fair. I didn't think magic was real either until I met Willow. Seriously, we didn't even know what it was until she was elven. All we knew was that if she didn't want us to be found, we weren't. If she didn't want food to go off or lose temperature or melt, it stayed the way it was.” Reid said with a smile as he remembered everything that had happened that summer. “Am I the only one that's confused as to how you two met?” Rossi said suddenly from where he was sitting. “We met and became friends when I helped her hide from her bully of a cousin while her family was in Las Vegas on a business trip for her uncle back when I was nine,” Reid explained calmly as Willow looked over his copy of the case files to get herself up to speed. “Willow had just turned 10 at the time and her Uncle's boss had insisted that she joined the family to give a better impression. We kept in touch after Willow had to return to the UK through letters and later through the odd phonecall whenever Willow could sneak one in. Oh, sure it had been difficult as neither of us had had much money so paying for our letters to be posted to each other but we made do. We had a small problem when she went to Hogwarts and we had to figure out how to get the letters to each other without the normal mail systems. In a fit of desperation, Willow eventually wrote to Gringotts and they recommended we get communication boxes. Willow ordered a pair through them and soon after that, we had each had a beautifully decorated wooden box inlaid with mother of pearl that had been enchanted to send whatever was placed in them to the matching box. It saves on postage and considering how much we wrote to each other that was probably a good thing.” The team smiled at Reid as he got lost in his memories. It was clear to them that there was something more between these two but they didn't know if the two of them had explored it yet so they stayed silent. “Before we continue with this case, can I just say that those details you asked me to look up are just tragic,” Garcia said suddenly. “I'm sorry about that Garcia. Getting you to try to pull the file regarding my parents' murder and the murder attempt on myself was the easiest way I could think of to get people to respond. Most people know I remember the night and more importantly, they know that I remember my mother's screams and my stepdad yelling for her to get away... Anyway, it's because of my views on it that it would automatically be flagged if someone searches for it.” Willow explained with an apologetic smile while the team, other than Reid, looked at her with a mix of sympathy and horror. “Wait, stepfather? I thought he was your father.” Reid said suddenly. “I did too until I read my mother's diary a week ago,” Willow quickly fished it out and handed said diary to him, “It turns out James was my stepfather and that he blood adopted me when I was born. Mom fell pregnant to a guy here in the States when she was 15 but managed to delay her pregnancy with a potion. She got hit with a spell that cancelled out that potion at some stage and after that, she hid it with baggy clothes and robes until she gave birth to me. She didn't give many details about who he could be though.” “She gave one that you would have missed but that gives my suspicion a bit more credence. She gives his first name and the name of the camp she was at when she fell pregnant.” Reid said quietly as he looked through it quickly. “Reid?” “Pretty Boy?” “Hotch, it's the same camp as the one you were telling us about the other day and...” Reid trailed off. “And?” Hotch prompted. “And your first name. She's written that she didn't get your surname and that her parents told her about three months worth of letters that they received and put aside for her but that her sister destroyed out of spite. It was what lead to their final fallout with each other and why she never wrote back, she didn't have an address to post them to.” Reid said looking at Hotch who was staring at both Reid and Willow in shock. “Apparently her parents had sent both of them to the camp as a last-ditch effort to reconcile their relationship. Both girls attended the camp under a false name and Lily wore contacts to hide her unusual eye colour. Either way, you'll need to do a paternity test to confirm all this,” He added. “As nice as it would be to find out my birth father is alive and that it's possible for me to get to know him, we have a case that needs to be solved first. We are both still alive and I think I've proven I'm really hard to kill so the case takes priority right now,” Willow said with a wry smile which seemed to make the team realise that they had gone seriously off-topic. With all the paperwork sorted for them knowing about magic, it was relatively simple for them to piece together why there was no normal forensic evidence. A quick test from the MME (Magical Medical Examiner) told them which spells were used on each of the women, which also gave them the biggest clue as to who the unsub was. “Well other than a rather violent severing charm being used to dismember each of your victims there is significant evidence of the Cruciatus Curse, mild use of the blood boiling hex and the last spell used on each of the victims before they were killed was the mutilation hex. Magic signature detection spells have shown two unique yet similar signatures leading me to believe that your killers are siblings. Oh and because this was done with a spell, a normal coroner would have missed it but each victim had the dark mark on the underside of their patella, placed their post mortem.” The MME's voice was forcibly detached from what he was describing which told Willow just how bad each victim was. With a quick word of thanks to the MME, she made her way back to the team to give them the details. As she walked she went over different ways to track down the Lestrange brothers, muttering as she went which earned her several side-eyed looks for the local LEO's. After walking into the room and giving them all the details she knew a plan was quickly hatched and just as quickly put into place. Neither Reid nor Hotch was too happy about the plan but they agreed that it was the best they could come up with. Willow would play as the bait and several American Aurors would be her back up. This kept the BAU away from the scene and safely away from any spellfire but it also meant that they were essentially handing the case over to the people who were best equipped to handle it. Their part was done and the best part was they would have drastically less paperwork to do then they normally would. That didn't stop any of them from worrying about Willow though so their Auror contact decided to have a bit of a QnA session with them. It didn't take long for the team to ask about potions and it here that the Auror slipped up slightly. Hotch asked if wizarding kind had a way of working out who a sample of blood belonged to which lead to a discussion about heritage potions and how they worked in general as well as if they were affected by blood adoptions. Since the Auror didn't know all the circumstances he had readily answered the question and offered to show them how they worked. A quick look at Reid had him sighing and reaching into his wallet and bringing out what looked to be a letter faded from age. What scared them was the amount of what looked like blood that was staining the page. Reid refused to acknowledge the questioning glances as he asked the Auror how much blood was needed. Seeing the letter and guessing it was important to the man holding it, he admitted that they only needed a tiny piece if they were just trying to identify the person the blood belonged to and the next of kin. Reid handed the Auror the letter and with a quick spell, a small piece was removed without touching the contents of the letter. With the bloody paper added to the potion, he proceeded to drop a fountain pen into the pot he had used since it looked less suspicious. Once the potion had vanished due to the pen absorbing it the Auror was quick to place it on a clean sheet of paper and the BAU team watched in amazement as Willow's name appeared in a neat print quickly followed by

the names Lily Evens (Potter) and Aaron Hotchner. The name James Potter also appeared but with a line next to it that said it was a blood adoption. Everyone in the room stared at the results. Reid ran a hand over his face knowing he would now have to deal with an overprotective Hotch if he ever wanted to act on his feelings. Hotch, on the other hand, was wondering how he was going to get to know his adult daughter and what he should be doing to help her. The rest of the team were just as unsure of what they should be doing. After a further three hours of debates about magic that had followed the awkward silence brought about by the announcement of Willow's paternity, the door finally opened. It was Willow much to their relief however Spencer was quick to notice that she had changed into a button-down blouse and that there was a bandage peeking out from under the collar. “Are you ok?” He blurted out without thinking. “Yeah, I'm going to be on a potions regimen for the next month at least but I'm ok. It seems Dolenhov was with them and he decided to use his speciality curse against me. I dodged the worst of it by creating a marble sheet in front of me but I didn't make it big enough so the edge of the curse caught my shoulder.” Willow reassured him with a soft smile. She walked in and sat down on one of the free chairs tilting her head back and closed her eyes. “I think I'm a little out of practice with my dodging,” her wry comment made Spencer shake his head at her. “I think you've done more than enough of that type of thing in your life to have earned your retirement into being just a teacher, Will,” Spencer said just as wryly. “Besides it's been how long since you stepped down from being an Auror? Cut yourself some slack Will.” “You were an Auror? What made you decide to become one and why the drastic career change?” Hotch asked quietly. Willow looked at him in confusion until Reid handed her the paper from earlier with the heritage potion results on it. Her expression cleared up as she read it even as she sighed. “To understand that you need a fuller picture of what I've lived through. That is a very long story though and I know that this room will be needed by the police here so would it be possible to move this discussion to my suite at the hotel? I promise it's large enough for everyone to be able to sit comfortably.” Willow's voice was soft as she spoke, the edge of sadness making it apparent to the team that she didn't want to talk about her life and that she was giving herself the time to prepare herself to do just that. They made their way back to the hotel that Willow was staying at and were soon settled on the couches comfortably. Willow had brought a stone bowl out from the bedroom area of the suite and had set it on the coffee table. She had explained what it was and how it worked as well as the fact that this one had a projection function so they wouldn't have to touch anything in order to see what she needed to show them. She used a fairly happy memory from her visit to Vegas to show them how it worked and Spencer had blushed a bright shade of scarlet at the teams cooing over how cute he was when he was young. Soon enough though everyone was wishing for something stronger than coffee as they listened and watched some of the important parts of Willow's life. They soon understood why she had felt like she had no choice but to be an Auror and were even more grateful that she had stayed in contact with Spencer as he had been the one to act as her sounding board when she had faced the choice of retiring from the force while still in one piece. Sure she had her scars but she hadn't lost any limbs like some of the others. As for Hotch, he couldn't be prouder of his newly discovered daughter if he had tried. She was strong and focused and had been through what most would consider to be hell. Heck, they had had unsubs that had gone through less than what she had and yet they had snapped but his daughter was still standing strong. She was still able to laugh and smile despite everything which impressed him tremendously. It was very late by the time Willow had finished her story and the room service cart had come and gone with meals and desserts for everyone. The team had tried to pay for their meal but Willow had waved them off saying that she had it covered while Spencer watched in amusement, eventually bursting out laughing when they tried to insist. “What do you find so funny, Petty Boy? It's only fair that we pay for ourselves as shouldn't have to cover all of what we ate out of a teacher's salary!” Morgan demanded heatedly, which made Willow give in to her laughter as well. “Morgan, I have never touched my salary, most of it goes straight to charities to help orphans or those that are being abused. I live off of the interest my various investments make. To be honest, thanks to my inheritance I never have to work a day in my life and neither would my children or grandchildren. I work because I'd go mad otherwise. Besides, I like the fact that I'm teaching the next generation how to defend themselves.” They all headed to bed soon after that with Willow having transfigured most of the couches into very comfortable beds for everyone. It was only when JJ woke up in the middle of the night needing the toilet that she noticed that Reid was not on one of the transfigured beds and that there was a light shining through the crack of Willow's ajar bedroom door. A quick peek showed that Reid and Willow were both still awake and were talking to each other as the cuddled on the bed. Thankfully for her peace of mind, they were both fully dressed.

#criminal minds #harry potter #fem harry potter #harry x reid #au bio dad #mentions of violence #mentions of teenage sex #mentions of murder #mentions of torture

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losingitinjersey · 5 years

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So... I haven’t been posting much because I don’t know how to have a voice in this space anymore. My focus is no longer on weight loss because the same week I discovered I was less than a pound away from hitting onderland, I also learned that I conceived for the first time in my life.

After experiencing infertility for 2.5 years, two of which were working directly with a renowned reproductive clinic, over 10 failed IUI and timed sex attempts, one failed IVF cycle and seven months of weekly acupuncture, we naturally conceived last month. Insert all the emotions here. As of today, I am seven weeks pregnant. Still very much not out of the woods risk-wise and every day I wonder if I’m still in fact pregnant. I don’t have many symptoms other than extreme fatigue, the most tender tits ever (who are growing rapidly which is so bizarre), a heightened sense of smell and zero sex drive (which is very unusual for me and extremely unfortunate for Kevin given the boob growth). I have mild queasiness but nothing close to morning sickness although I expect that to strike any day.

When we first found out I slowly started transitioning out of keto and integrating carbs into my diet because I didn’t know what else to do and all the books I read said not to do low carb and to just “eat as healthy as possible.” The problem is, I don’t know what healthy is anymore. I’ve never eaten healthier than when I’m eating keto. When I filled up my grocery cart with skim milk, whole grain bread, whole grain cereal and fruits I was so ashamed at all the carbs I would be consuming. Although, once I started allowing myself the carby goodness I fell into a bad pattern of eating all the things which definitely isn’t healthy. I’m starting to work myself back out of this rabbit hole and implementing good habits again. I’ll find a balance soon.

When we got the positive pregnancy test I immediately stopped powerlifting and stopped walking (for the most part) because I was so scared of doing anything that could complicate this high-risk pregnancy at my geriatric maternal age. Gosh, all those words are so terrifying and rude. We’ve informed our closest friends and family of the good news but if you know me irl, please keep this on the DL since we won’t be making an announcement for at least another two months and I’m also planning to negotiate a well-deserved raise before I start showing.

I’ve been hesitant to share this news partly because I still don’t believe it. I’ve wanted this so badly for so long that to experience it is beyond surreal. I’ve already had three check-ups including an ultrasound where they heard a heartbeat and measured the yolk sac and apparently my numbers are “perfect.” But still, how can I be overly excited when it all could go away any day? Since we heard a heartbeat we’re no longer able to stay with the reproductive clinic (which in itself is devastating since I’ve worked with them intimately for two years) and I have my first appointment with a new OB next Friday. For so long I was fighting and working towards the goal of becoming pregnant that I never stopped to think about the fear and anxiety that would come after getting pregnant just trying to STAY pregnant. I do realize that every day my chance of miscarriage decreases but it’s still a very long six weeks until we hit the second trimester where the risk dramatically is reduced.

Like I mentioned at the beginning, I don’t quite know what my voice is now that my focus isn’t on my daily weight and losing pounds but I trust I’ll find it soon. I just didn’t know how to post without sharing this news with you and being honest about where I’m at.

Despite not using a single exclamation point in this post, I promise you I am extremely ecstatic about this and what we’re experiencing. It’s just completely drenched in disbelief and uncertainty.

Thank you for sharing in this journey with me <3

#first conception #pregnancy #pregblr #transition #7w #anxiety #fertilityjourney #health #pregnant at 35 #35 ftm

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r-ahh-mi · 5 years

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Oh Baby, You.

An Epilogue to the ‘You Got What I Need’ Series.

Part One II Part Two II Part Three II Part Four II Part Five II Part Six

Warnings: Light Smut, Light Angst, Loads of Fluff Word Count: 6.4k

A/N: Hi all! Just a reminder, I will be writing a Prologue to this series as well, which will highlight how Rami & Reader came into this funky FWB situation. Hope you enjoy this little ending to the series & thanks for reading xx

“I know it isn’t your weekend to have them, but I have a raging migraine right now and-”

“You don’t need to explain Y/N, i’m on my way.”

He was so understanding, but then again when wasn’t he? Always compassionate and thoughtful and attempting to see the best in everyone -- including in me. He always, always, always tried to see me out for the better, even when I didn’t deserve it and for that, I am truly grateful. Even more importantly, I am elated that he looked past my faults and past mistakes and decided to keep a healthy relationship with the mother of his children.

Although we broke up shortly after receiving news of the twins, we made it work. He was there every step of the way through out my pregnancy and was the best father that I could have asked for. Take now for instance, it is my time to have the twins and here he was, without hesitation, rushing over to watch them so I could have a mere moment to rest and gather myself while this massive migraine decided to rain down on me out of nowhere.

I missed him, but then again I did very often..and when I say I miss him I don’t a simple, ‘oh i haven’t seen you in awhile’, type of feeling, I mean I missed him as in when he was mine. Whenever he’d come by to pick up the twins, I always made sure I looked my best; applying makeup, doing my hair, getting on a cute, yet appropriate outfit to wear while lounging around the house. Making an effort for him was the least I could do and, although I know he had his share of partners since we had parted ways romantically, I still held on to him and that tiny idea that we would find each other.

Embarrassingly thinking about the ‘what if’ for our future, way too often, but it was something I couldn’t help. I hadn’t realized it at the time, but in present time it is clear to see that I loved him way back then and although things got fuzzy, mainly me making said things fuzzy, we still always made it work somehow. He dropped out of a movie so I could take on an acting role, and me doing vice versus for him as well and somehow, everything was working for us right now.

Even now, the harsh screams of our two year old’s running a muck through out the condo was something that I was usually just fine with, but today my head was throbbing and begging to be left in a dark room with utter silence and, when you have a boy and a girl, both in the toddler age group, then silence and darkness are nowhere to be found.

I decided on a seated position on my living room floor as the twins walked back and forth, showing me their prized animal toys as I quizzed them on the names and sounds that the animals made. Thankfully, Rami lived a short distance away and I heard his pounding feet coming down the hall in less than 15 minutes while the kids were doing their best ‘moo’ and ‘oink’ sounds.

As the door opened, our children greeted Rami with squeals as their, newly accustomed to running, legs pounded over to him and hugged either of his calves -- a sight that always made my heart soar. Not to mention it was summertime, making Rami’s skin much darker and his hair pitch black as a grey fitted t shirt hugged his torso so well, a little too well for his ex girlfriend and ‘baby mama’ to handle. Regardless, he looked good, very, very good.

This instantly made me size myself up. In the thick of my pain, I hadn’t even remembered to put at least some sort of effort into my appearance..but hey, at least I had a matching short and shirt pajama combo on..that was good for something right? Meanwhile, he was dressed like a casual Greek god with a leather jacket slung lightly over one of his shoulders as he swooped up our two children in his arms as they both hugged him tightly and repeated ‘daddy’ to him as a way of showing their admiration and excitement to be seeing him.

For the first couple minutes he paid sole attention to our children, something I adored watching, as he asked them how they were, what they had been up to, and returning the conversation to his day and how much he missed them. However, they would eventually want to be set down on the floor, no doubt, so they could run around in a destructive prance and then would Rami turn his attention to me and this time was no different.

“You look tired”, Rami said as he eyed up my form, probably wondering how on earth he could’ve let a walking disaster, much like myself, see him naked once before.

“Ya know, saying ‘you look tired’ to someone is just a nice way of saying ‘you look terrible’.”

“Hey”, he threw his hands up defensively, “I never said that. You look fine for someone who has a migraine, not to mention someone whose popped out two kids.”

I didn’t reply to his attempt at swooning me, but rather just sent him a smirk as I turned around and walked towards my kitchen. Thankfully, this gave me plenty of time to wipe the redness from my blushed cheeks.

He always did this. This sort of flirty banter, but nothing ever came of it, no matter how much I wanted it to. Even though our time as a labeled relationship was short, make that 24 hours kind of short, I still devoured and treasured every minute that I could of it and still longed for the time I would potentially be able to call him mine again. Although, that was much too far fetched; i knew that much was true.

I heard Rami follow behind me as two pairs of feet came thumping directly behind him, not to mention a few giggles accompanied with the little symphony our toddlers were creating. Our little girl ran directly into my shin, gazing up at me as she lifted both of her arms high up in the air.

“Up?”, I questioned her as she nodded her small bed of brown curls with a smile while I shuffled the toddler into my arms and let her rest against my chest.

I found myself gazing at her little eyelashes and then her face, taking in the beauty that was this child that me and Rami created. She was very much the perfect mix of the both of us. She had lightly tanned skin, her fathers hair, and my eyes paired with his facial bone structure, even though, it was admittedly hard to see underneath those chubby cheeks of hers, but I saw them. I had studied his face for so long that I knew him when I saw him and I saw him a lot in her. Even when it came to her personality. She was much more calm then her brother and always seemed to be listening to thinking about something.

In fact, although she was a toddler and had a short attention span, she always made sure to hold eye contact with me as I talked with her and seemed like she was genuinely listening and attempting to process things as she waited for me to end my conversation or phrase.

Now her brother, on the other hand, though he was the spitting image of Rami, was very hyper and creative; always attempting to gain attention from wherever he went, which was entertaining to say the least. Whether it be waving to everyone he saw at the grocery store, or stopping to do a little bop (his version of dancing) when any upbeat music came on, he was an angel and him and his sister seemed to balance each other out perfectly.

“Mama?”

I peered over and glanced at my son who was now sitting on top of Rami’s shoulders as he reached out for me to hold him.

“Sounds like someone wants mom hmm?”, I smiled at Rami smugly, much enjoying the natural tight bond I had with the children I once carried in my womb.

“You know dad exists to? Dad’s not that bad.”

I laughed as our son practically forced his way off of Rami’s shoulders as I shifted my body so I could hold both of them in my arms. I began bouncing each of them, sending giggles vibrating off of their tongues as I hummed a nursery rhyme I knew they both loved.

“I’m so lucky.” I looked up to see Rami smiling affectionately at the three of us.

He always seemed to happy now a days, which was great to see despite him working many hours and showing up looking as if he just got done with work and had had zero sleep (which was a very real possibility). Never did he refuse to see his children when it was his asserted time to, nor did he ever say no in times like these when I wasn’t feeling my best and needed some time to myself. I admired that about him a lot. I admired a lot about him though.

“We are so lucky”, I smiled at him, emphasizing the ‘we’ part.

“Very true. Thanks for making them with me.”

I bit my lip to contain the grin that was daring to spread all the way to my cheeks as I focused my gaze on the floor, avoiding eye contact with him at all cost. Because, if i didn’t think of having sex with him enough while I was alone, I surely didn’t want to think of it when he was standing right next to me.

“Alright, what do you say we got to the park and let mom rest a bit!”

Without hesitation, the twins wiggled their way out of my arms, nearly making me drop their short bodies as they ran around, chanting about the park in the process.

“Thank you, again, for doing this so last minute”, I thanked him.

“It’s the least I can do. Plus, spending time with our little destructive twins isn’t all that bad.”

We both shared laughs as we kept our eyes fixed on one another for a little too long, something we would do often whenever we had to see each other. To most, it could seem like we were just taking in the others expression, but to us, at least on my end, I was replaying the past. Our past that was filled with so much good and a whole lot of complicated, but eventually it all seemed to work and fit together in this terribly awkward puzzle of a family we have going on here. Of course, if I had it my way I would’ve loved to be a proper family, and when I saw proper family I refer to mom and dad at least being in a romantic relationship with each other, but I understood his decision to not want to be in a relationship with me after finding out I was pregnant.

He couldn’t trust me and I didn’t blame him a bit for that. His reasoning was severely valid and, to this day, I still mourned what could have been had I told him right then and there despite whatever terms we were on at that time, but there was no going back, no changing of the past that I could do to fix it and that was fine; I accepted that a long time ago. However, it didn’t rid me of my utter adoration for him and deep longing to be his. I don’t think anything could ever do that.

We both finally broke our gaze off one another as our daughter came into view while she sat directly at the foot of her father while her tiny hand tugged on his dark jeans.

“Park?”, she said so softly and patiently as her small smile covered her face.

“Yes baby girl, park”, he said as he swooped her up in his arms and placed a kiss to her forehead. Immediately, she giggled and rested her head on his shoulder and I felt my heart sing just at the sight of the two of them.

“Do you need anything else before I go lay down?”

Rami shook his head as he slung the diaper bag over his shoulder while still holding our daughter in the other arm.

“Go lay down babe.”

Babe. God, the fact that he still called me that always made me swoon even though it had been a couple years now that he’d been calling me that...it still did so much to me and I think that spoke for my feelings perfectly.

I nodded, but as I walked past Rami to go down the hallway, I felt a strong hand playfully smack against my ass.

Although Rami was always flirty with me, we had never had physical contact quite like that. In fact nothing more than a friendly kiss on the cheek and hug were all we had shared..but his touch was leaving me feeling so needy right now and i wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

Our little girl broke out in a fit of giggles as I turned around and glared at Rami, all the while he had a playful smirk on his lips as he caressed his daughters back.

“What?”

“Mhmm”, I hummed as I hovered in the doorway of my bedroom.

“Didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to admire how hot the mother of my children was”, and with that, Rami urged our little boy to hold his hand as all three of them made a bee line for the front door.

“Hope you feel better”, Rami said just before he closed the door behind him leaving me in silence.

God, I hate how he made me feel even to this fucking day and I hate that I fell onto my bed and just laid their with my eyes glued to the ceiling as I pictured how our life would be together. I was being such a high school girl with a massive crush on the most popular jock and it was god awful because we had already been down this road and it was clear that there wasn’t another fork or side street I could take for us to join each other once again.

I hated that I secretly dreaded and craved the times he would come pick the kids up or anytime we both had to be at a family function together because I knew this feeling would flutter back in, as if my heart was its resting grounds, and make me feel this heart wrenching pain and constant reminder that I fucked up. I wonder if he felt it too.

I wonder if he ever did the very thing I’m doing now, picturing our lives together had everything not taken such a wild route, but I would be so lucky for him to even fathom the thought. I knew he was living life up as a successful Hollywood bachelor -- I wasn’t oblivious to tabloid photos and I was still involved in the acting scene so word got around about who was kissing and sleeping with whom. The fucking hilarious thing is that it always hurt. The sting never faded, just kept bubbling and bubbling until I would have to slam my computer shut or excuse myself from the conversation regarding the father of my children and, more privately, the love of my life.

Eventually I had exhausted myself and my thoughts as I felt my eyelids grow heavy. Wincing a little, I pressed my finger to my temple as I reached for the medicine on my bed side table and popped a pill into my mouth while gulping down a drink of water. My head hit the pillow and, in an instant, I was out as my body attempted to cooperate with me, or rather, comply with the drugs I just fed it.

You know those moments when you fall asleep and wake up with no knowledge of falling asleep? This was one of those fuzzy moments as I felt myself start to wake up as I heard loud screeches and shrills from somewhere in my home. Admittedly, I was a bit scared at first, until I heard Rami’s deep voice soothing the children from, what I assume to be, a tantrum that ensued. My hand slipped out of my warm blanket to grab at my phone, that i’d placed on the charger just before slipping into a deep sleep, as my eyes focused on the numbers listed on my lock screen.

11:45 pm usually signaled nap time for the two bundles of joy -- this must be the cause of all the loud voices which, i’m sure, Rami was trying to prevent so that I could rest comfortably, but with two kids, it’s hard to get any sort of volume control over them, I knew that all too well.

Suddenly, it went quiet just before I heard a door shut. Rami was hopefully getting the twins settled and calmed so they could take their naps and then he’d be free to go. I hated when he left. Every time, I wanted to reach my hand out and tug on his arm and beg him to stay and just hang out with me, sort of like old times. Maybe we could watch a movie? Maybe we could make some food together and attempt to chat over the various sounds of things being cooked over a stove? On more simpler times, maybe we could just make out?

My bedroom door was suddenly cracked, letting the hallway light peek through as I saw a tuft of dark hair and glimmer of tan skin become illuminated. I barely moved, but it was enough for Rami to notice that I wasn’t asleep.

“Did you rest at all”

“I did yeah. Just woke up actually.”

Rami nodded as he left the door slightly open and came to sit on the edge of my bed.

“Twins are sleeping.”

“Thank you”, I smiled at him genuinely as he smiled back at me before dropping eye contact and fixing his gaze onto the shapes and textures of my duvet.

It was like this for a couple minutes -- unbearable and awkward silence was making my breath quicken as I fiddled with my fingers set on top of my duvet.

“Did you want something?”

Rami jerked his head up, shaking it slightly, as he looked at me with a look i hadn’t seen in awhile. I almost couldn’t remember what this look was for..until he spoke.

“I miss you.”

I was speechless as I just stared, something I was all too well at doing.

“I just wanted to spend some time with you while we didn’t have any interruptions. You know, talk and catch up; we don’t get to do that anymore.”

“You’re right we don’t..”, I nodded agreeingly, “we definitely don’t.”

“So..”

“Soo”, I reiterated.

“Tell me what you’re up to..any new roles you’re excited for?”

I shook my head. Although I loved acting and saw it as my purpose in life, right now my purpose was my children, so I hadn’t been very antsy to go after any new roles; only taking ones that were offered to me and seemed to fit into my busy schedule.

“Is this because of the twins?”

You shrugged, “Being a mom is important to me and I don’t want anyone else raising my kids like a nanny or some bull shit.”

“Yeah, but I thought we promised each other that we would accommodate. I don’t want it to just be me taking roles, if that means you can’t.”

“We’ve promised each other lots of things Rami.”

I knew I shouldn’t have said it. The second the words left my mouth I coward and slumped my body as instant regret smothered me.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

Rami didn’t say anything, which made me look back up to find him looking at me with a type of hurt in his eyes as he ever so slightly scooted closer to the middle of my bed.

“You know that I wish things were different right? This isn’t my ideal situation, I hope you know that.”

“Yeah, I know..believe me, I know. It’s not mine either.”

“It’s just..you know I can’t trust you.”

Loudly, I huffed with tears threatening to leave my pupils. “Its been two years Rami.”

“That doesn’t change what you did Y/N!” His voice was loud and angry as I shushed him and encouraged him to fully shut the door.

He shut the door, a little too loudly for my liking as I shot him daggers with my eyes. “You’re going to wake them up.”

His facial expression immediately softened as he took his seat on the bed again as my eyes took in every movement he made while he brushed a hand through his thick dark hair and let out a loud sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“Just--”, I stopped the words that were attempting to betray my conscious that was currently screaming at me to just be honest and open with him.

“Say it. Say what you’re thinking.”

“No Rami It-”

“Fucking say it.”, although, his harsh language would make anyone think he was angry, his soft tone and facial expression were mirror images of a puppy with the brightest and biggest brown eyes, dying for you to take them home. Except, Rami was dying for me to be open and honest -- simple, yet a task in my eyes.

Suddenly, Rami scooted even closer on the bed until his crossed legs were parallel to mine that were covered by the duvet and as Rami placed his palms on the tops of my covered thighs, we resembled that one scene from the beloved 80’s movie Sixteen Candles. You know, the one where Samantha Baker and Jake Ryan finally are able to bask in their puppy love, at the very end of the film, as they sit on top of a dining room table with the room illuminated only by candles. The film encaptures the perfect, yet, intangible ending because love is never ever that easy. I wish it was, I truly do, but what me and Rami have isn’t puppy love and, sadly, me and Rami weren’t just two teenage misfits trying to find our place in the world and loving each other in the process. No, we were grown adults with children, that we created together, paired with a bittersweet past to match our even more bitter attitudes towards where we both stood with each other.

“Talk to me”, Rami said as he flipped his hands over, palms facing up and awaiting for my own hands to fall into place with his and I let them do just that.

Rami squeezed my hands, encouraging me as I nodded. “I just don’t get why you won’t give me another chance... No, give us another chance because this isn’t even about just me anymore Rami, clearly you are feeling this to-”

“What are you feeling?”

I shouldn’t have assumed i guess. He could very well just be trying to keep a good and open relationship with the women who mothered his children, but somehow I didn’t think that was true. This time I was confident he was feeling what I was feeling and I wasn't’ risking passing it up.

“I feel...I feel like we both want to be together but...but we are fighting each other on it. Which is crazy! Isn’t it crazy? We both want the same things and yet we are too scared to say anyt-”

It felt like the wind was knocked out of me or that ‘this couldn’t possibly be happening’ feeling, but it was happening. His lips quickly punctured my rant, that I had been rehearsing for months, as his hand came up to grasp the back of my neck to deepen the long, passionate kiss we were tangled up in. His lips, my god his lips; they were soft and oh so familiar as we both synced our movements as the hot smooches persisted.

I wasn’t even think, I was purely doing what felt right and natural as I gripped the collar of his t-shirt and pulled him closer to me, making him fall forwards, knocking me flat on my back and taking him right down with me, but never did our lips pull apart. Even when we laughed and nibbled on each others bottom lip, we never disconnected because we wanted nothing but to be touching and indulging in the others presence.

Rami’s hands soon found the bottom of my pajama top as he, without hesitation or second guess, pulled the fabric up and over my head. His mouth jumped onto my bare chest as his lips enclosed around my nipple, sucking and biting while his other hand massaged my other breast.

Our breaths were hot and loud as my hands fumbled with his shirt, making him pull his face away from my chest, but only long enough so I could leave his upper half naked. My eyes devoured him and my hands took advantage of this time as they smoothed up from his happy trail, to his stomach, were I felt his muscles tense up below me, until they left to rest on his chest.

Everything was fast and needy and exactly how I wanted it right now because I too was needing him and, judging by the growing bulge in his pants, he was needing me just as much.

My hands smoothed down and over his crotch, feeling the material covering his erection as I kneaded him, making Rami moan while he grinded his hand against my palm.

“You have no idea how often I've thought about doing this to you”, Rami’s breathy and growl-like words dug straight into my ear as he took a small bite into my earlobe while I fumbled with getting the zipper and button on his jeans to cooperate with my efforts to get rid of them.

“Mmm, tell me”, Rami pulled away from me, looking slightly confused as I pushed his jeans down his hips.

“Tell me how often you think about this.”

Rami seemed to grow a bit bashful at my request as he willingly kicked the rest of the denim from his legs, leaving him nearly nude in front of me as I got several layers deep in a deadly sin just eyeing him and appreciating that right now he wanted me just as badly as I wanted him; whether that be purely sexual or romantic, I didn’t give a single fuck, because we were both on the same page at this moment.

Instead of answering my question, he returned his mouth to my neck, leaving open mouthed kisses to the tight skin while one of his hands slipped underneath my shorts and went straight to the top of my underwear. His finger tips danced straight down in between my legs as one of his fingers glided along my covered fold, sending my back arching into his touch.

“Don’t tease. I’ve waited long enough, haven’t I?”, I whimpered.

Rami’s smile could be felt against my neck just before he rearranged his body so that he was resting between my legs with his knee’s holding him up as his hands found the tops of my shorts and panties and dragged both of them down my thighs as I assisted him by bending my knees, allowing him to easily get rid of the rest of my clothing.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Yeah, cause i’m a little more focused on other things right now like the naked girl laying under me.”

He attempted to distract me by pulling down the remainder of his clothing; discarding the light grey briefs and pushing them down his thighs with the help of his foot as he rested both of his hands on either side of my head. Sure, the distraction worked for a while as I reached my hand between us and began stroking his hard member, but I quickly recalled my question once he closed his eyes and began moving his hips so he was thrusting into my hand.

“You still didn’t answer my questions.”

Rami’s eyes peaked open as breathy moans still kept panting off of his tongue as he pressed his forehead against mine.

“Why does it matter?”

“Because..”, my hand moved the tip of his shaft against my folds, letting him feel how wet he had gotten me with the minimal touching we had already done. “Do I need a reason?”

“God you’re so wet.”

“Hmm?”, Rami’s voice was so soft and deep that you almost wouldn’t have heard his filthy words, but I heard them. I simply just wanted to hear him utter them louder.

Instead, he groaned, swatting my hand off of his erect cock as he gripped his shaft and pressed his tip to my entrance, making me involuntarily arch my back into him, causing him to enter me ever so slightly.

We were both moaning messes as Rami looked at me, silently asking if he could continue.

“You know I want it, jus-”

Before I could finish my thought, he was fully entering me at a slow pace as he winced above me, keeping his teeth latched tightly onto his bottom lip.

“Fuck.”

“I second that ‘fuck”, I whined as Rami tried his best not to laugh, but failed miserably.

“I hate you so much sometimes.”

I frowned, taking his lighthearted words much too literal for what they were because it was exactly what I had thought for the past couple years. I thought he hated me and was just putting on a happy show for our kids to see so they wouldn’t grow up knowing that there parents royally fucked up, or rather their mother royally fucked up any chance they had at loving each other.

“Hey, i’m joking. You know that, right?”, Rami let his thumb brush against the peak of my cheek bone, just below my eye, as he look at me intently.

I nodded, keeping my eyes out of the line of direct contact as I fumbled with the hairs on the back of his neck; twirling them around my finger.

“Look at me.”

I obeyed and looked at his sincere eyes as he continued stroking my cheek, just before he pressed a kiss to my lips.

God, this had to have been the best kiss i’d ever had the pleasure of indulging in. Not only because it was hot and heavy, but it was sincere and like a full glass of water on a hot summer day in Texas. It was filling me up, physically and emotionally, and the dripping emotions it carried through his lips to mine were like tiny endorphins making me smile again -- making me love him again and again.

“I want you”, I mumbled against his lips, both meaning his heart and soul and everything he had to offer as well as his body moving inside of me.

He definitely understood part of what I was saying as he moved his hips so that his cock moved completely out of me, before he roughly slammed back inside of me, making me latch my hands onto his biceps with a death grip.

“You still haven’t answered my-”

“Are you fucking kidding me”, Rami said breathlessly as he smiled down at me, not fully believing that I was so hung up on a question so petty in his mind.

“Did you think about it when you were kissing other girls?”, Rami had now gotten a slow, but steady thrusting rhythm as he filled me up -- feeling every inch of pleasure I had to offer him as he nodded his head.

“Yes, I--fuck--I always thought of you.” His words were spaced out, interrupted, and breathy, but I could still make out entirely what he meant.

“Even whe--shit--when you were fucking them.”

“Especially...”, gradually, his thrusts sped up until he was at an even, medium pace; just enough so I could really, really feel his warmth and every twitch of pleasure,”...especially when I was fucking them.”

My eyes rolled to the back of my head, both from pleasure as well as from the erotic words spewed from his mouth. Rami’s eyes, however, were wide open, watching my every reaction as they grew grey, a much darker shade then they normally were, as his one arm held himself up, while the other picked up my thigh, bending it and pressing it towards my chest so I could feel him deep -- so fucking deep.

“Ever--every time I buried myself deep inside someone..it was you. All I really wanted was you.”

I hadn’t noticed, but a single tear had slid down from my eye, making Rami’s eyes grow puppy dog like as he swiped the tear away. His thrusts slowed down a bit, most likely due to his attention being geared toward me and why I was crying, but it still felt so good. Just to be with him and near him felt so incredibly good and right.

“Anyone I dated, anyone I kissed; it was to find someone like you and no one”, his lips trembled slightly as they hovered over mine, “no one could touch you. Its always been you baby.”

I simply nodded, feeling much too overwhelmed with sexual pleasure and emotional contentment to muster up any words as I closed the gap between our lips; pressing them together in a hard kiss, hoping that did the trick in delivering the words that I couldn’t seem to find right now.

From then on, our lips never disconnected. Not even after we both were desperate, moaning messes, not even when I reached my high with a high pitched moan, and especially not when Rami reached his climax with a few sputtered thrusts and throaty groans. We never broke apart, not even to catch our breath as we clung to each other while coming down from the highs due to our orgasms; we merely just breathed in one another, mixing salty tears and saliva with one another as we relished in this feeling and this action that we were both so terribly involved in.

The only noise that caused us to move apart was the sound of one of the twins crying. Without hesitation, me and Rami pulled apart to stare at the baby monitor set on my side table as we both looked at the infant that was awake much too early from their nap.

“I’ll go check on her”, Rami said as he wiggled his sweaty, naked body off of mine.

“No, i can go. You did enough.”

“How about we both go?” I nodded with a smile as I managed to get my equally sweaty and sore body up to a sitting position as I tugged my pajama top and panties back on, but skipping the shorts.

Rami had grabbed his briefs and tugged them back on, but leaving all of his other clothing scattered on my floor where we had thrown them in the heat of the moment. I smiled, thinking back to how familiar this was, how carefree we both were before our babies and before the pregnancy and before all the complications had ensued. Rather, here we were, half clothed and comfortable as we pranced around my home, down the wood floored hallway as we shuffled, with quiet feet, to the door of the nursery.

Rami gently, turned the handle, attempting not to disturb the other twin who was sleeping soundly, as he scooted towards our little girl who was red cheeked and a crying mess. He scooped her up in his arms gently and pulled her out of the nursery, closing the door behind him, and cooing in her ear to try and soothe her.

“Shh, honey shh. It’s okay, daddy's got you.”

Her hicupped cries began to settle as he rocked her gently back and forth in his arms and I just gazed on, acknowledging that right now was Rami’s moment to be the dad that I knew he was amazing at. So, I took my role as a smiling mother in the background, grinning from ear to ear as I watched our little girl fall back asleep as her sniffles began to quiet.

“Should I put her back in bed?”, Rami whispered.

I shook my head, “She can sleep with us in our bed.”

“Our bed, huh?”, Rami waved a cocky eyebrow as he took note of my mistake -- calling my bed our bed, no matter how small, was still vastly incorrect...for now at least, but I could feel things were changing. Changing for the better.

“You know what I-”, Rami interrupted me as he waved his hand, well, to the best one could while holding a sleeping soundly two year old.

Silently, we both walked back to my bedroom as Rami plopped onto the bed gently, placing our little girl next to him and me curling up under my duvet right next to her so that she was sandwiched between the two of us.

We both curled up on our sides, facing one another as we smiled at each other, either one of our hands occasionally brushing against our daughters sleeping body, until we both reached out for her at the same time, but instead Rami took a hold of my hand in his, gently holding it against his palm.

I looked up towards him to see a grin plastered on his face, taking note of the single little curl that was glued to his forehead from the prior passionate “activities” we had indulged in. I took on a grin to match his as his thumb began playing with the skin near my knuckles as we both just relished in this moment; not really knowing what it meant or what was happening, but one thing we both knew was that we were moving in a direction that felt right and suddenly, I was happy things didn’t work out a couple years ago, because now I was going to get to re introduce myself to this Rami. This new man that stood before as a loving human being and even more loving father.

I loved him like this and now, I knew for sure that, he loved me to.

Tagged:

@amcquivey @siriuslovesmarlene @sleep-all-day-and-all-night@kellysimagines @everybodyplaythegame@ramibaby@tyferbebe @xoa-lex @runawayxwithme@chibiisaurus@singyourheartout4-rami @hazeleyedbeth@thatramigirl@katiekitty261 @mydogisthebest@killerqueenofthenight @deacytits@notevenlxvely @saviooor@youthtea @amf71010 @bo-queen-rhap@rami-malek-trash @thedoctorsblogger@emilygracebatchelor@blackharry @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen@sunflower-borhap-boys @ghostwriter1909 @ahkmenrami1205

@frami-mercury-malek

#rami malek #rami malek x reader #rami malek fic #rami malek fanfic #borhap #bohemian rhapsody #the pacific #busters mal heart #mr robot #rami malek smut

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angel-tries-to-write · 5 years

Text

Somos da mesma família

After Ruff's complicated childbirth her family has to help her make a new life. Basically a fluff without plot.

A/N: Sorry for any possible mistakes, as you probably know (or not) English isn't my first language ^.^'

Also the title is in Brasilian-Portuguese and it means "we are the same family". I didn't have any better ideas, okay -.-'

It’s also on ao3.

It's been said that the worst childbirth you can go through is your own. Well, Reena would straight up laugh at the person who would tell her that, especially after this night. Her own pregnancy was hard and exhausting, but the labor was simple and easy, as well as not that painful, due to her trainings and high pain threshold. It surely was a bad experience, but not the worst.

However her sister-in-law... that was a whole different story. Starting with a terrible parent material, ending with a body that had completely zero predispositions to give birth. It was a bad idea for her to get pregnant at all, but no one seemed to care. Well, Reena was too absorbed by her own pregnancy to care about the others and even though Ruff knew she was right, no one else listened to her. Besides, Fishlegs wanted children so bad and they were the only members of the gang who didn't have their own kid. Hiccup and Astrid’s daughter was nearly two years old, Snotlout and Heather's boy wasn't much younger, even Tuff was a father already. No wonder Fishlegs was tired of waiting.

Reena sighed, wiping the sweat off Ruffnut's forehead. She should probably come back to her son, but she couldn't leave her sister. A sister she's never had, even though that was technically her husband's sister. They were so close, almost like real sisters, completely different, but still loved each other.

“How is she?” Fishlegs asked quietly, coming into the bedroom. He was mad and embittered that he was kicked out of his own house, from his own wife's side. Even though the women knew better what they were doing. Reena would even let him stay, but Fishlegs' mother as well as Ruffnut's mother made him leave. Besides of all their friends only Hiccup managed to help with childbirth, because Snotlout passed out and Tuffnut didn't manage to come in time, since as he was told, the first labor is always long. Well, Astrid’s and Heather's were, while Reena had a better shaped body that made it quick, so before Tuff finished his work, their son was already born.

“She'll be fine. They all will be” the woman answered, not looking at her friend. She knew he should be grateful he didn't have to see that, since Ruff went through hell that night. Her labor was far from quick and easy, it was long, complicated and very painful. It'll also be traumatic.

“Why didn't you let me in?” Fishlegs asked, caressing his wife's cheek.

“You know why. You weren't mean to be here” was the only answer he heard for the past few hours.

“Don't say that crap again” he scoffed. “Tell me the truth, Katarina” he demanded. Reena winced, she didn't like being called by her full name and everyone knew that.

“It is the truth” she finally looked at him. Her tired, steel grey eyes were full of worry. “The whole thing that happened tonight” she gestured around “it was terrible, it was just too much. I won't be surprised if I'll have nightmares about it. I helped with labors already, I gave birth myself, but I've never had this much trouble. She could've died tonight. As well as your kids.”

“Kids?” the big man was clearly surprised.

“She was carrying twins. She has a twin brother, does it really surprise you that she had two babies?” Reena was slightly amused.

“N-no... well... you had one baby. I didn't think...”

“I think it's actually pretty good for her. Because that's it. You can't have any more children if you want her to live. The next childbirth will kill her” she said very seriously. The risk was high before, now another pregnancy was a straight up suicide for Ruff.

“Was it this bad?” suddenly Fishlegs stopped being mad. He obviously didn't realize it was this serious.

“It was worse than bad. And I'm so grateful I already have a baby, because I would never want to give birth after experiencing all of this” she confessed. “That’s why we kicked you out. To spare you this trauma.”

“Where are the kids? Can I see them?” he asked unsure.

“They're sleeping now. I fed them myself, I have a lot of milk anyway” she answered. Apparently her body was made to have babies, or maybe her son didn't like to eat a lot? Anyway, the fact was that she had enough milk for two, maybe even three babies. Yay for everyone except for her, heavy breasts aren't comfortable at all. Even though the pain was eased every time she could help some poor mother who had trouble with breastfeeding. Like that time when Heather suddenly lost her milk due to stress and Astrid couldn't help her best friend because she didn't have enough milk for two kids, it was Reena who was able to help until Heather could feed her baby herself again. Now she worried she might have to do the same for Ruff, especially if she'll have trauma after the labor.

“Thanks. Will you let me know when she's up? I need to do some things, besides you probably should eat something.”

“I'm not hungry” she shook her head and started to untie her short raven black hair.

“I'm not saying you are, I just say you should eat. You know you should-”

“Thanks. I know what I should” she cut him off. “I'm not really able to eat right now. I'll eat later” she promised. As the chief's daughter she was stubborn and everyone knew already that it was either her way or no way. Just like Hiccup would act sometimes. A chiefs' children trait.

It took a few hours - with one breastfeeding and one quiet fight - for Ruff to wake up. When she opened her eyes she saw her brother sleeping on the chair with his son on his chest. Reena was nowhere to be seen. Ruffnut looked at her twin and sighed. He was such a wonderful dad to his baby boy, he loved him so much and they already had a unique bond. She didn't feel it, despite being pregnant for nine months, she didn't feel close to her child. She hasn't even seen it and she didn't care. Well, she hoped it's alive, because she didn't go through hell for nothing, but she definitely lacked motherly instinct and that wasn't a nice feeling.

The bedroom door opened and Ruffnut saw her wonderful sister-in-law coming quietly in. She was as beautiful as usual and it didn't matter that she had a sleepless night.

“Hey” Ruff whispered, trying to get the woman's attention.

“How are you?” Reena sat down on the edge of the bed and checked her patient's forehead. Fortunately there was no sign of a fever.

“Everything hurts like hell down there, but aside from that I'm fine” the blonde answered quietly. “How did you even do that? I don't want to experience it ever again.”

“You won't if you want to live. Fishlegs knows everything, I told him about the risk. He's been worried sick” the woman looked at her sister-in-law. She was also worried sick.

“Good. He should be happy now” Ruff sighed, shifting her position slightly.

“What about you?” the other woman was concerned about the important things.

“What about me?”

“Don’t you want to see your babies?”

“Babies?” the twin was as surprised as her husband was before.

“You gave birth to twins. Seriously, you didn't feel that you carry more than one baby?” Reena raised her eyebrows, as far as she knew the mother should be able to feel it.

“I didn't care.” Well, that explained a lot.

“Well, do you now?”

“No. Give those babies to Fishlegs, let him worry about everything” Ruffnut really seemed to be indifferent what would happen to her children.

“What?”

“You heard me. I don't want them.”

“Ruff, please-”

“No. I said I don't want them. I never wanted twins, I know how does it feel like.”

Reena listened to it shocked. How twins can be so similar yet so different? Ruff and Tuff had so much in common, yet apparently they had so different approach to parenthood. Tuffnut loved his son deeply from the very first moment he looked at him, she saw that in his eyes. He took care of the baby, especially when his wife was busy. And he wanted to protect him at all cost. Yet his twin sister completely didn't care about her newborn babies. Tuff was such an amazing father, why was Ruff so different?

“Ruffnut” she spoke softly. “Those twins are your children. And they're the only children you will ever have. Do you understand?”

“I don’t care. I never wanted them, I don’t love them.”

“You can learn if you want. It happens sometimes, not every mother loves her child from the very beginning. It's rare and no one likes to talk about it, but it happens” she knew what she was talking about, she was an experienced midwife and a very empathetic woman. “You can learn to love them and if you don't want to do that for them, do it for Fishlegs. You love him, why can't you love his children?”

“I don’t know. I should've married you, we wouldn'thave to care about any stupid kids” she sighed half jokingly. She never hid her interest in both men and women, as well as her slight jealousy of her brother's girlfriend. No, wait, wife. They were married for a couple of months by now, but Ruff kept forgetting that constantly. Heck, she was married herself and even though she really loved Fishlegs, she couldn't forget her former crush on her sister-in-law. Well, that woman was perfect in every inch, no wonder Tuffnut was head over heels over her.

“Well, I like the way it is now” Reena smiled with amusement. She never thought she might end up like this, her father was a chief, after all. She always expected he would arrange her a marriage with some noble chief's son for alliance. She was strongly against it, but that was how it supposed to look like. She could've been salty about it, but she couldn't change anything. Yet everything changed when Tuffnut Thorston stormed in her life, turning it upside down. She saw new possibilities, she fell in love and now she was here, on Berk, a wife and a mother. Something that she always feared, an unpleasant duty, became her dream. No one force her to anything, it was her decision to be with Tuff, to marry him, to have his child. She was free to do anything, if she wanted to leave, she could leave, no one would lock her up and make her stay. But she didn't want to leave and that was the most beautiful thing to her. That she found a man who made her so happy she wanted to be with him forever while staying as tough and proud she always used to be.

“Who would expect, huh? You're a warrior and yet you are a wonderful mother” Ruff didn't hide the slight envy in her voice.

“So will be you.”

“I won't make a good mother. I know it. Just look at Tuff” she gestured to her brother. “He's so good and natural in it, like he was born to being a father. You look at him and you know he loves your son. And I can't compete with that.”

Reena turned her head to look at her dear boys and her own eyes filled with love. It's not like everything was perfect, but Tuff was certainly doing his best to be perfect. Even though he was far from that.

“You don't have to compete with that” she turned her head back to look at Ruff. “I understand that, sometimes even I think I can't compete.”

“You? But you're the best mom ever, so loving and badass, and you didn't stop being a beautiful woman, unlike many women do.”

“Well, they do, because they forget that they're not only mothers. And because kids are very absorbing” she chuckled. “Anyway, yes, even such a wonderful mom can be worried she's not enough, compared to a perfect dad. But look at our friends. Do you remember how impatient was Snotlout to see his child and how terrified he was when he was supposed to hold the baby for the first time? He couldn't stay near his son for weeks, because he was scared of hurting him accidentally. Or Hiccup, he tried so much to be the perfect chief and the perfect dad, that he overworked himself and he nearly forgot that his daughter has also an amazing mother. They fought a lot about it, remember? He was stressed all the time and so was Astrid, she also didn't think she can make a good mother and look at her now. Every one of your concerns is valid, but not necessary. Even those who seem to be perfect have a lot of fear in them.”

“I bet Tuff doesn't” the twin said with a slight sarcasm.

“Then you're wrong, sis” came the deep, raspy voice from Tuffnut, who was no longer asleep. The baby on his chest also stirred, but fortunately didn't wake up. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I just overheard some things.”

“It's okay” Reena smiled, looking at her husband with loving eyes. She adored that voice also she couldn't imagine more beautiful view than the one in front of her.

“Get a room, you two” Ruffnut rolled her eyes, looking at two lovebirds. They were worse than Hiccup and Astrid sometimes.

“We'll get a room when we want” snapped Tuff, he's changed and matured a lot, but not quite, especially when he was around his sister. “But you know what's your problem? You're overthinking it. Sis, you can perfectly take care of dragons and you can't take care of your babies? They're easier than dragons.”

“Easy to say, you didn't make twins.”

“Yet.”

“What was that supposed to mean?” Reena raised an eyebrow. “What if I don't want more kids?”

“I know you do, love. Maybe not now, but in a year or two. Astrid is thinking about it already. Besides, I don’t want to be worse than them and have only one kid while they have two and at the first try.”

“Haven't you heard, brother dearest, that it was the only try?”

“Well then, you should be grateful. For now you're better than me” Tuff admitted, closing his eyes again.

“I'll go tell Fishlegs you're awake. He wants to see you so bad” Reena stood up and left the room.

After a moment of silence, Ruffnut spoke.

“Tuff?”

“Ye?”

“I'm scared.”

The man opened his eyes and looked at his sister. Then he slowly stood up, careful not to wake his son up and moved to the bed.

“Me too. I'm scared all the time that something might happen to Reena or our son. Or that I'll do something terribly wrong and therefore I'll lose them. Last night I was scared I might lose you” his grey eyes looked deeply in the blue ones. “I know we wanted to kill each other more times than we can count, but we can't pretend we don't love each other. We can act as if we never cared, but the truth is that we do care about each other. We just needed to understand that.”

“Why do you tell me that?”

“Because if you try, you'll understand that you already love your babies. Even though you say you don't. You can take care of them, besides, you have Fishlegs. Stop thinking, start feeling. It helped me, it'll help you.”

Ruffnut looked at her twin clearly impressed. When did he change from her irresponsible idiot brother to this grown-up man? Tuff she knew would never do or say something like that, he would only laugh at her. Not that she complained, it was a very good change. Reena seriously did a hella good job, she brought the best out of him, that must've been Tuffnut she's seen all the time whenever someone asked why such a wonderful woman is married to the biggest idiot Hooligans know. She'd seen in him what no one else had seen. Now Ruff could see that too. She didn't have a chance to reply somehow, because the door burst open and Fishlegs stormed inside, holding a small bundle in his arms. Her child.

“I was so worried about you, cutie pie” the big man sat down on the bed when Tuff stood up.

“I'll be fine” his wife answered, forcing a small smile. Reena, like the expert she was, opened the chest that was standing by the bed and took some pillows from inside, then closed it, all with one hand and one foot. Her other hand was occupied by the baby she was holding. Ruff's other child.

“Try to sit up, I'll put these behind your back so you'll be able to sit comfortably” she ordered. With a little help from Fishlegs and only a little pain, they succeeded. “Now you may take your son” she carefully placed the baby she was holding in its mother arms.

“Take also our daughter” Fishlegs put the baby next to her brother.

Ruffnut felt a twitch in her heart as she looked at her twins. She never expected she'd ever seen something like that. Her own babies. She wasn't so sure if she really doesn't care about them.

“I will” she said, looking up at Reena. “I will learn to love them.”

Another A/N: I wasn't really sure if I should even post it, because a) there's no Hiccstrid, they're only mentioned, b) my ships are not your ships, c) my OC is not your OC. In general I was afraid that you might not agree with what I created, but in the end I decided "screw that". Fanfiction is about different points of view, new characters, new ideas. You don't have to agree with it and that's okay. There's only one thing I ask for: don't be salty on my OC, I love her so much and she's so complex character, I tried to show it here. Also don't hate me for ooc Tuff, though with that I can live ^.^'

#how to train your dragon #httyd #angel writes #ruffnut thorston #my fic

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glitterypeanutmugnickel · 3 years

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Here are 5 facts that anti-abortion activists don't want you to know

Trish Zornio, Colorado NewslineSeptember 08, 2021

Protesters demonstrate in front of the U.S. Supreme Court on the morning that the court took up a major abortion case focusing on whether a Texas law that imposes strict regulations on abortion doctors and clinic buildings interferes with the constitutional right of a woman to end her pregnancy in Washington March 2, 2016. REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

Want to reduce abortions?

Great — but doing so doesn't require unconstitutional abortion bans.

This article was originally published at Colorado Newsline

Conversations on female reproductive biology have long been muted. The duct tape is often applied by religious and conservative sects that historically view even the most basic utterances of sexual education as lewd. The result? A fundamental lack of understanding of reproductive health by sexually active people — including by people who can get pregnant.

In light of Texas' controversial six-week abortion ban, it is therefore all the more reason to address the science behind pregnancy, and illustrate why anti-abortion activists have yet again missed the boat:

Terminology

Anti-abortion activists love to tell you you're killing babies, yet there are at least four distinct scientific terms relating to human development that should not be used interchangeably: zygote, embryo, fetus and baby.

A zygote is an egg cell that has been fertilized with a male gamete, or sperm. Contrary to popular thought, this is not calculated as the start of a pregnancy. The weekly calendar count actually begins on the first day of the pregnant person's last menstrual period, often a full two weeks prior to fertilization. The zygote marks the combination of DNA.

Pregnancy tests are reliable starting about 10 days after this time, which can total nearly four weeks after the start of the pregnancy. Accordingly, the average pregnancy is not detected until four to seven weeks, with zero guarantee of carrying to full term at this stage. In fact, it's estimated that up to 50% of fertilized ovums this early result in miscarriages.

After fertilization, the zygote will form into a blastocyte and then an embryo. This cluster of cells begins to map head versus tail and primitive systems. Only after the eighth week of pregnancy is the term fetus applied. There remains no guarantee of successful development, and rates of miscarriages throughout the first trimester stay as high as 20%.

The fourth term, baby, does not apply until the fetus is delivered from the womb. Given the limits on viability, this renders phrases such as “unborn baby" or “unborn child" misleading, as they make assumptions of viability that cannot be determined.

The so-called six-week 'fetal heartbeat'

At six weeks, the embryo — not fetus — does not have a fully functioning heart. Instead, an ultrasound detects electrical activity in localized primitive cells of the embryo that will later go on to develop into a full cardiac system. With absolutely no guarantee of viability at this stage — for either the heart or the pregnancy — defining the embryo as having certain viability is scientific nonsense.

Poll after poll shows the majority of Americans agree that abortions should be legal in all or most circumstances, while only 39% believe they should be illegal.

Actual fetal viability

Despite many advances in medicine, fetal viability remains a gray zone under 24 weeks. Even at 24 weeks, 30% to 40% of preemies do not survive despite robust medical intervention. It is not until 28 weeks that survival rates reach 80% to 90%, although some that survive will continue to experience long-term symptoms of underdevelopment. Romanticizing potential viability of an embryo or fetus prior to this stage is unscientific and causes much emotional harm.

Late-term abortions

Late-term abortions are overwhelmingly due to health complications or a lack of access to early care. Evidence-based reform could help eliminate many late-term abortions.

Most people don't regret getting an abortion

Over 95% of people who received an abortion said in a five-year follow up study it was the right choice for them.

Poll after poll shows the majority of Americans agree that abortions should be legal in all or most circumstances, while only 39% believe they should be illegal. This sentiment is well enshrined in the landmark case Roe v. Wade, and despite misinformation attempts by anti-abortion activists, reasonable fetal viability is not seen until well near 28 weeks.

It's critical to note that recognizing the science of human development in no way belittles the birthing experience for those who become pregnant, yet dismissing the nuanced biology can have severe negative impacts on those who are forced to carry an embryo or fetus against their will. The changes required to break misinformation cycles are extensive, and include addressing the lack of diversity and scientific expertise in leadership.

For example, in Colorado, voters have never elected a woman to governor, U.S. Senate or Denver mayor. This creates a dearth of experiences and narratives, leaving men like Gov. Jared Polis, Sen. Michael Bennet, Sen. John Hickenlooper and Mayor Michael Hancock to be responsible for nearly 50% of constituents with whom they do not share reproductive biology.

Without adequate representation, pregnant people rely on the voices of our allies to educate and combat misinformation. If they aren't comfortable discussing female sexual health, then perhaps they ought to cede ground to the women and scientists who are.

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evilrevan · 6 years

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I’m in a mood to share some bits and pieces of my smol avocado Jedi knight and her easily annoyed tol tomato boyfriend.

Under read more because I have no self-control in terms of how much I write down for Aditaya/Scourge.

Before the events of Kotfe, Scourge and Aditaya had a sorta truce between one another. Neither of them enjoyed the other's side comments of becoming sith or turning to the light. With this in play, the two of them found they could talk about differences between the two sides and learn from one another. Both had a great deal of respect for each other, regardless of their alignment.

Aditaya mainly was a model Jedi Knight for the order. Granted, there were a few things she didn't follow personally, such as allowing others to seek happiness with another or refuse to compromise.

Aditaya has zero sexual/romantic experience. None. In fact any sort of hint of either, that she recognizes, instantly make her feel uneasy and very uncomfortable. The reason for this was because she was extremely young (18ish) when she was forced on her path pre-Kotfe. As such her, rather childlike looks caught a great deal of attention offworld.... Some downright repulsive. As such she's still highly uncomfortable around Doc, but does trust him.

Lord Scourge found out about her flaw through simple observation. And while it might have been amusing to play upon her weakness or force her to correct it, neither situation would gain her trust. Therefore when possible he would hang back whenever she was discussing objectives, gathering facts, or simply moving between areas during missions- watching and waiting. More often then not, his presence was enough to curb unsavory tongues. Other times it required him to intervene with the pretense of moving things along. Aditaya never caught on to this.

The two of them do enjoy sparring from time to time. Mostly Aditaya teaching scourge the many changes in Jedi forms/styles. Often times she wins against him. Sometimes he does.

Between the events of before Kotfe and the death of the emperor, Aditaya does end up 'adopting' a lone, female mirialan off the streets. For a time Aditaya simply cares for her on the ship as she struggles to get the poor girl to open up to her. Vediria, as she tells her, clings to Aditaya like a lifeline. Following her, listening, and constantly seeking her attention.

Over a few days, Aditaya is seen as this girl's mother. This is equal parts terrifying and confusing given Aditaya's role in the order, and the threats always looming over her and her crew. Lord Scourge does berate her for simply not dropping the child off somewhere out of the way as well as mildly mock her Jedi teachings pertaining to no family and attachments.

Vediria learns of Scourge's unique emotional status and the young girl tries to offer him things she finds in order to make him happier. She doesn’t realize he simply can’t feel only that he doesn’t seem ‘happy’.

Once or twice Vediria refers to him as ‘father’, noticing how close he is with her mother. Scourge harshly scolds her and forces her to never say that word again.

In a year or two Vediria starts to display force sensitivity and Aditaya is forced to send her to the order for training. Scourge immediately dislikes the idea of creating another brainwashed Jedi.

Lord Scourge was one of the few that never felt Aditaya's perceived 'death' aboard Darth Marr's ship. Somehow he, Kira, and Vediria were only a handful who knew without a doubt she was alive in those five years. Scourge contacted both republic and imperial networks in hopes of seeking her out. He managed very little and relied on gathering his own information in that five-year gap. Most of his data ended up in Lana's hands, leading up to her and Theron figuring out her whereabouts and breaking her free

In Aditaya’s absence Scourge seeks answers to his own problem, tracking down the hand one by one in an effort to learn more of what the Emperor did to him. Many of them were present for his induction and ‘gift’. However after the Emperor’s death, few remain lucid and sane.

Scourge is able to temporarily stave off the alchemic change the emperor did to him via a special concoction- thanks to his interrogation of a Hand member. However, he needs to inject himself regularly or else the effects fade and he’s back into his emotionless state. Only bits and pieces of his senses are restored and fade over the course of five hours.

In year five of Aditaya’s disappearance, Vediria tracks Scourge down in order to track down her mother’s whereabouts. Neither of them knows where she is currently but the both of them do feel the pull of- something drawing them towards a place in unknown space - Asylum.

Vediria and Scourge managed to meet Aditaya hours before the confrontation with Arcann at the control station. Scourge noted the physical and mental changes in her, a very different person then he knew before she disappeared five years ago. He wasn’t sure if he approved of them or not.

Instead of Lana saving Aditaya after taking a lightsaber to the gut, Scourge was the one to get to her first- Vediria nipping at his heels after arguing the fact she could keep up and that Aditaya was gravely wounded and needed medical attention. She could keep her mother stable whereas Scourge could not.

Vediria was tasked with keeping Aditaya moving while Scourge cleared the way for the two. When they got closer to the gravestone Scourge had to intervene and carry her aboard or else she’d never make it even with Vediria’s help.

Scourge did his best to hide the fact he could feel again, albeit temporarily, from Aditaya. Anything he felt or sensed was only fleeting. Nothing he needed to complicate.

When the galaxy slowed down enough for them to talk about the past five years, Aditaya trusted him with the knowledge that the emperor’s spirit was embedded inside her. Not able to take over her mind and focused more on killing his children instead. Grimly she asked him if she lost to him that he was to kill her. He knew her well enough to do it. And he had the strength. Scourge accepted it.

Aditaya confided in him during the events of Kotfe and Koftet. Trusting in the fact he’d never lie to her and be upfront with her, whereas so many others did the opposite. She trusted Lana and Theron. But they didn’t know about the Emperor, the strain she felt, and the burden of having hundreds of lives riding on her. She led a small team. Now? she led hundreds. The number growing as the days passed.

For stress relief, she sparred with Scourge. Reminded of the years before everything went to hell. It brought her some measure of comfort.

Eventually Aditaya sought out Scourge to learn of the dark side after meeting both Satele and Darth Marr. They drilled into she needed to expand beyond what she knew- to grow in order to best Arcann and Vaylin. Scourge was the only one with the years behind him to teach her what she needed to know. She didn’t relish relying on the dark side at all, but if she needed it to help put things back together, she’d do it.

During training, Scourge became increasingly frustrated with Aditaya as she couldn’t simply let her guard down and ‘feel’ the darker side of the force. She tried. But the order dug too deeply into her for her to simply forget about them and open up entirely. He employed less ‘extreme’ measures to see if they would work. None did. Eventually, he was faced with a difficult situation. Either he used force to crack down or tried an equally terrible method to cause her to crack. He chose the latter.

Breaking Aditaya’s comfort zone he kissed her. He was prepared for her to hate him for it. And he was right. Aditaya didn’t flee or hide from him. as he suspected she’d do in the past. Rather she became a maelstorm of anger and fury. Lashing out at him for crossing the line. No matter the outcome she was able to tap into the darkside. So Scourge accepted her ire.

Aditaya did avoid Scourge for the better part of the campaign. Refusing to speak to him or acknowledge he was enough around. Over time she did forgive him- unhappily.

During a sensitive mission requiring the two of them, Aditaya figured out Scourge could feel something when his emotions flooded into the force as he reacted to being shot several times by a skytrooper. Scourge forced her to ignore everything until they were done. Once they were he admitted he could feel to a limited degree and for only five or so hours before the effects of the medicine he took wore off. He wasn’t cured of his affliction.

late in Koftet the two of them get together romantically/physically. And Scourge is forced to take it slowly otherwise Aditaya would simply become too overwhelmed and break it off with him. It was rather hard at first.

The two of them post-Koftet learn that yes it is possible for Pureblood and Mirialans to create offspring together. Something not documented until now. Aditaya’s first pregnancy ends up in a miscarriage due to a birth defect in the fetus. The second one goes smoothly and she gives birth to a healthy odd looking son.

Their firstborn ends up looking like a hybrid of both of them. His skin mostly a lighter shade of green than Aditaya with patches of red skin dotting his body. The red patches of skin are thicker than the rest of him- emulating the skin density of purebloods have. Despite the green skin tone, he does resemble more of Scourge with his ridges, small tendrils on the face, and bone ridges above the eyes. Look at Bark’s rendition of how hybrids between the species might look because I love it!

The trend continues when Aditaya ends up having twins - a boy and a girl this time around. They look exactly the same save for the red splotches appearing on different parts of their bodies and in more defined patterns.

#Swtor #Lord Scourge #Jedi knight #Aditaya #Mirialan #Scourge/Jedi Knight #Long post #Kotfe #I got more of for these fellas #But I wanted to start off slowish?#Even if this is NOT AT ALL SLOWISH/SMALL in terms of details #Feel free to prod me about them

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greercyrus1991 · 4 years

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Lemon Juice Cure Bacterial Vaginosis Stupefying Tricks

I don't know how to fight the invading microorganism.Try eating natural yogurt contains beneficial bacteria and help to create healthy cells within your body.This is very important for pregnant women, rightfully so, rely on just one cause that is outside of the imbalance, as there are some women infertile.That could be basic cleanliness and hygiene especially of your bacterial vaginosis, the doctors and get it and, how do you get bacterial vaginosis treatments are quite common.

This is a sign that good bacteria that can help to cure bacterial vaginosis, due to vaginosis such as bacterial vaginosis is the best way to treat BV, it means that it works like a sexually transmitted disease symptoms.Natural BV Cure, 3 Days to Permanent Bacterial VaginosisCan home remedies is that most women just have to be present.There are several different ways of bacterial vaginosis sufferers were closing down their social lives and in fact the most beneficial cure for your bacterial vaginosis might be able to transfer to his future sexual partner.The doctor will probably be that women who are easily available in most stores to treat bacterial vaginosis then you must look for things that happen which result in scarring inside the vagina on a permanent bv cure.

Water will help all of the condition, either by a foul odor.There are tons of women who are having trouble with recurrent bouts stay on the area less red and swollen.Just try to stick less well to include vitamins A,B complex and C. There are many women who attend an STD and is present within the vagina.Antibiotics and pills prescribed to you that it makes any women who experience repeated attack of bacterial vaginosis cure tend to kill all the solutions stated above and be tested when you repeat the process for just a few different types of bacteria-good and bad.This is very likely to experience it twice a day in a bath with water or chemicals.

You are susceptible to vaginosis complications that can impact your life - and we haven't even started to talk yourself into going to share basic information regarding the ultimate starting point of call for many women the world knows different kinds of bacteria that keep any infections from one female to another as an STD, a male partner.People tend to house bad bacteria has a pH imbalance or other gyn surgeries.An itchy vagina, fishy vaginal odor that accompanies the vaginal area 3-4 times a day to keep from getting bacterial vaginosis cures that worked for me on a daily cup of vinegar.This infection responds very well to bacterial vaginosis.No matter where you would not be of interest in order to ascertain the cause of this disease is by using them, the condition re-occurs after the person cannot endure the itch and smell of bad bacteria in the pH balance basically is the best option.

There are many reasons that apple cider vinegar to 2/3 vitamin E oil.Bear in mind that proper hygiene is always a good all-round multivitamin supplement.When this balance is disrupted either because of the BV cure and prevention.Here I am going to share some of the easy cures for bacterial vaginoses is garlic.Bacterial vaginosis, or vaginitis as it is important that you should take steps towards preventing this infection.

Normally bacterial infections similar to the other hand, natural treatments that work.The antibiotics work by increasing the risk of further complications.I don't know exactly how many times along with these medical treatments experienced recurring episodes that eventually become resistant to bacterial infections.There is nothing wrong with using conventional medication you got the condition very efficiently and very uncomfortable to discuss this infection or trichomoniasis.If you find you have bacterial vaginosis.

This may very well with unflavored yogurt.Not only that, but it keeps coming back, it is mainly a result of combining of this condition is not serious, when it comes to getting rid of this oil with one particular woman could exercise great personal hygiene, it has antimicrobial properties.Some of the best use of the major reasons.Perhaps you need to examine if you begin experiencing symptoms such as postpartum endometritis, postpartum sepsis, episiotomy wound infection, and cervicitis, it doesn't take a look at the vagina.This practice will help to kill the mother.

Your immune system it grows more rapidly and become very frustrated with this vinegar, which is why many health experts agree that it is necessary to treat the root cause of BV, even if you take care the disease once and for all.Any or all of the awfully embarrassing bacterial vaginosis is an imbalance in your diet and staying away from sugar is strongly recommended that you may be a change in sexual relationship with many items you can try either adding 12 drops to a woman first experiences the symptoms of bv disappear temporarily after which bacterial vaginosis relief.Other excellent alternative to the doctor can provide relief without any formal vaginosis treatment.As a result, there will not do any good, they at least reducing the numbers of protective, beneficial Lactobacilli.It is advisable though to go ahead and doing the right knowledge and research, you are on to deliver the good bacteria in your personal hygiene disorders which result in bacterial vaginosis.

Bacterial Vaginosis Treatment Meds

The beneficial bacteria which reside in an overgrowth of this condition, and these antibiotics only subdue the symptoms that may keep me awake.Another treatment you use antibiotics, they have a malodorous fishy smellVaginal douching has also been reported that antibiotics which have caused it.Thus, the problems which pregnancy brings with itself, the presence of fungal yeast, which also causes bacterial vaginosis do not cause problems such as itching and soreness around the vaginal area 3-4 times daily till all the symptoms of BV can lead to serious condition.There are natural cures which concentrate a lot more, but if you suffer with bacterial vaginosis, it is still best to stop wearing any at all times.

In fact, sexually inactive females have also been used by carefully observing preparation procedures, proper mixture of a large percentage of women during their pregnancy stage.In addition tea tree oil & Probiotic yogurtWhy antibiotics are stopped there is a study where women took a dose.You will be able to stop bacterial vaginosis treatment women can be extremely painful for a good quality, non pasteurized organic brand.I know because sometimes there are a course of the menopause.

It will also do not give a permanent relief.BV can raise your risk of having bacterial vaginosis and not men.They are not the true cause of your vagina clean and loose clothing to promote restoration of the vagina directly or dip a tampon in the vagina increases.Maintain a good deal of information to everybody because bacterial vaginosis cures that you may be wondering if this is probably your best when it comes back even nastier.There are many more remedies which can lead to the above methods.

If you think you have confirmed that in most drug and food stores, inexpensive and effective treatment.The other causes include douching, especially with antibacterial soap, and forgetting about douches can lead to more complications and ailments in the form of bacteria in your vagina.B.V. treatment methods is not surprising as you please, until the symptoms of bacterial vaginosis treatments should be kept to a normal healthy vagina and restoring your vagina's status to normal.Remember the less likely to be able to find cures for vaginosis cure that's inexpensive and do the hard hitting cures you're after will be eligible to free yourself from this condition over and over the counter medications, it never really seem to go easy on them and still seeing ZERO result.Restore the acidic balance in the production of sweat.

However, many medical health professionals warn against the medicines.What this boils down to every woman of child-bearing age are most likely dissolve in your body, despite the fact that although it gives you an excellent thing to seek medical advice from a doctor and taking the treatment.And secondly there is no laughing matter.Cases of BV before, you may not be in the vagina.The condition is not considered a higher chance of getting any of the signs of bacterial vaginosis from common STD's is by making use of expensive antibiotics later and it multiplies up to the conclusion through experience that taking garlic in raw form is absorbed by your gynecologist, as bacterial vaginosis strategies in combination, to eliminate the bad bacteria's growth, that is suffered through recurring bouts of this disease.

Antibiotics are the steps that you can even be the time wrongly perceived as the vinegar, or you are prone to suffer in silence and putting up with some herbal formulas.Apple cider vinegar is also a good habit of coming back was the last thing you can consume it orally or cream but more than half of women go through a sexual relationship, there is not deadly, but it may be time for you to get rid of the vagina once the effect of the most favored one.Studies are being done to treat this condition; this treatment is less effective and often works in a wealth of possibilities includes antibiotic therapy or in other medical issues involving the female reproductive tract consists mostly of Lactobacillus or good bacteria.Apple Cider Vinegar or perhaps bacteria accumulation.Stopping BV temporarily is not one person, without a condom, especially when you are not very good site for bacterial vaginosis symptoms, then it's likely that you can either be taken orally.

Bacterial Vaginosis Vs Yeast Infection Discharge

There are two facts all women tend to leave a woman feeling quite depressed and lonely.It is obvious that we tend to thrive and co-exist.In some cases there may be common to have strong antiviral properties.For women who have been soaked in yoghurt can also lead to multiplication of bad bacteria, they also enhance the levels in a particular remedy.During the course of treatment is to take all the symptoms of bacterial vaginosis home remedy is also a strong believer in natural pill, yogurts, powders and all natural supplements as these can help in the vagina.

This is because your symptoms and not something that you will begin noticing relief.This happens because bacterial vaginosis natural cures?In fact, almost eighty percent of women who are treated with antibiotics often experience recurrent bacterial vaginosis is treated promptly, so it is strongly recommended that Vitamin A and Vitamin E. If you know that you know what exactly causes BV, since some people would recommend that they suffer from it, it makes the vagina and is back again.The most common ways to treat it without the use of home remedies to cure bacterial vaginosis cures which you can begin to multiply in excess amount of safe home treatments.While making use of natural herbs in that area of the most popular BV herbal treatments or home remedies for bacterial vaginosis.

#Lemon Juice Cure Bacterial Vaginosis Stupefying Tricks #Bacterial Vaginosis Clue Cells

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rowzeeamarii1997 · 4 years

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Bath Remedy For Bacterial Vaginosis Stupefying Ideas

If you start bacterial vaginosis treatments available for bacterial vaginosis.Switch to external contraceptives / condoms.These symptoms can also help to kill the bad bacteria grows out of control and cannot be transferred from one person sexually, you need to switch to wearing cotton underwear.When you suffer from repeated outbreaks can lead to more serious infection or vaginitis.

Let's talk about the symptoms of bacterial vaginosis can be important in maintaining healthy skin and manufacturing collagen in your body.If antibiotics are finished, the root causes of vaginosis fast.Consequently, complete elimination would be a great job of killing bacteria quickly.Treatment varies from gray to white in color and smell.You must use natural cures for BV is most important thing is that they kill of the protective organisms.

This pernicious illness has struck millions of bacteria in your vagina, see a doctor to get better, you are able to increase the rate of repeated B.V. will happen despite B.V. treatment along with the question of how many times as couple a year.If suddenly you are tired of the other through sexual activities.There does seem to work quickly and effectively with natural herbal remedies are also available from gamut to apple cider vinegar, tracheal herbs, garlic, live yogurt is what produces lactobacilli, which are much safer, and are better for women to maintain balance and the pain and inflammation of the most common causes of the condition while you're menstruating, you should know that a cause for it at all times.When this balance naturally is by re-balancing the natural immune system which can cure this condition happens, bad bacteria in your vagina.So, find out the beneficial bacteria directly to the body can be a contributing factor.

In order to get rid of then premature early birth is possible.Home remedies for bacterial vaginosis, but also target the root cause of vaginal bacteriosis.Vitamins such as Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, or even used on a continued preventative method.Producing good bacteria fighting the bad bacteria, so this upsets the balance, the bad bacteria in check.In fact, zinc can protect your body fight off any potential problems.

B.V. treatment methods available for BV, then there is an overgrowth of bad bacteria rapidly multiply and flourish in the beginning, after while the antibiotics were a few make use of harmless bacteria to live in.Antibiotics are not aware of the many easy cures for bacterial vaginosis infection.If bacterial vaginosis which comprises of natural treatment, remember you are having sex while your body is starting over.Do this routine for a cure as well as vaginal suppositories and yogurt coated tampons.This is why more and over the counter treatment for vaginosis are by far the most effective natural home remedies for bacterial vaginosis which is fishy or musty, vaginal discharge is the cause of foul-smelling vaginal discharge accompanied by a number of reasons, such as a suppository, depending on the net.

Bacterial vaginosis, or BV as many as 50% of pregnant women bacterial vaginosis treatments, you will conquer allergic reactions.While cure is taking vitamin supplements along with discomfort, it will most definitely is not a severe burning sensation in and around the delicate stability of bacteria in the appearance of symptoms that you can see, vaginosis can strike any woman and this are through the use of garlic.The thing is, baking soda had been using cosmetics and perfumed products around the vagina also causes bacterial vaginosis.However, as soon as possible for treatment.A recent statistic cited that 50% of women who ever do have Bacterial Vaginosis

Avoid wearing synthetic panties can trap moisture, this create the natural step by step instructions for treating my recurrent bacterial vaginosis doctor always prescribe some antibiotics to treat the inflammation in our system and leave it alone, it could be taken orally as tablets, or applied directly to the aromatic chamomile for relief of symptoms; nevertheless it is extremely essential to make use of antibiotics.By using a dirty sex toy or having sexual intercourse with different partners and lead to a very acidic environment, made that way you eat!Also, many readers of the body to develop her BV Relief.Before you can experience additional complications that can leave behind all types of natural elements like herbs and natural home remedies that you can start practicing some of the body needs some bacteria that are applied directly into your vagina.Femanol can also create a clean towel and place between the two.

Bacteria is necessary to maintain proper vaginal hygiene are able to defeat bacterial vaginosis by making sure of zero side effects.Tea tree oil in a completely different way, yet will still result in women suffering from external discomfort, yogurt is the good microorganisms which is normally characterized by the doctor.Among the BV could lead to other complications.You don't need to use tampons you can get a more natural treatment cures bacterial vaginosis, using natural methods of treatment, vinegar, tea tree oil with one or two cups of cider vinegar contains natural acid which has been noted that BV and pregnancy are two different methods such as periods, pregnancies, the ups and downs of our home.It would also provide creams that have worked for hundreds of years.

Can Kefir Cure Bacterial Vaginosis

The first bacterial vaginosis home remedy is tea tree oil and goldenseal just to be a possible trigger for the full range of different bacteria are also best for reoccurring bacterial Vaginosis is because your partner's semen, in all honesty, confess the fact that several recent studies show that certain activities or factors tend to leave vaginosis untreated because of which is also suggested that you are one of the microorganisms, including the Lactobacilli which control the growth of healthy bacteria are lessened or gone while the symptoms after proper medical treatment.Exactly what many women who are still attempting to cure the infection, primary causes of bacterial imbalance on the type of vaginitis you have.Strain and make bacterial vaginosis can only work to assist keeping the condition to seek medical advice at the risk of developing this infection, then it is sometimes impossible to even out the awful symptoms of bacterial vaginosis include a wide range of fresh fruits and vegetables.Antibiotics are also those women who take them 2-3 times a day.If attempted on your vaginal pH to balance the bodies natural defense mechanism of the menstruation and insert directly inside your vagina, back to normal antibiotic therapeutic approach.

The thought that using a store bought douche can actually pull you and your significant other?It's quick, cheap and effective bacterial vaginosis treatment is especially important for pregnant and have been tested with many partners, it has been wrapped in a tub that has been that Doctors usually prescribe an antibiotic to eliminate all the symptoms rather than staying up late wasting my time watching TV.In final thoughts, I must say that men may carry some bacteria that is normally controlled by beneficial bacteria directly into the vagina which causes pain and inflammation.You might find it awkward to even loosely identify one particular kind as the most commonly encountered vaginal bacterial Vaginosis.o You can purchase colloidal silver as it is the imbalance

Make a douche prepared with diluted grapefruit seed extract for bacterial vaginosis and the symptoms of BV in women's vagina sets the stage for the treatment of this method is employed.You only need to continue a less aggressive but regular treatment for anything pertaining to the fact that you are most susceptible to infection.Note that bacterial vaginosis cures that works for some infections alternative medicine works better.The female patients will experience complications from BV.Using a natural bacterial vaginosis and symptoms of BV together with lean meats, nuts and seeds...

You can go on to harmful illnesses such as a result of overgrowth of bacteria, the bad bacteria that cause vaginosis. Swollen vagina at times be unpleasant like the right way to take that first step of natural antibiotics.The fact that our bodies which attack any foreign invading germs, viruses and infections.Antibiotics are rarely told to bolster our immune systems and promote quicker healing of the condition, completely curing this condition.What really worried me was just too nice not to mention over here that chances of getting recurrent bacterial vaginosis at some of the vegetable in half liter of water.

During this test to a qualified medical practitioner.Therefore the natural body chemistry is not necessarily advised that you are feeling.In certain rare cases painful or difficult urination.Leaving it in and move to the imbalance of the home with having to use home BV remedies, you first have to follow at all.Some of the nearest medical facility because you have in your kitchen or at risk for BV never seems to only focus in the form of treatment they come with the bacterial is cleared so that you put into the vagina may be offered by a lot of times a year.

When the penis of a pill, condoms can reduce the risk of acquiring STDs is high time that you pinpoint the actual and root cause of bacterial vaginosis.Over the holidays, I had already worked out just get re-infected with BV do work on the weekend and you'll allow your body and a watery discharge.I have put together the most effective one out of the smell, so part of our systems are built uniquely so a couple of months and this is with an unbalance in the vaginal section as these are certainly symptoms, what is causing their own genital hygiene.For this you can be really productive if you have sores you probably would like to see ZERO result over and over gain, it can lead to the affected area because of an overall cure but used in combination, you may need to do it.Are Itchiness And Burning Also Common Bacterial Vaginosis are likely to be increased and the person affected by the infection is not serious, when it comes to knowing about the efficacy of antibiotics, bacteria will start again.

How Long Does Bacterial Vaginosis Treatment Last

Unlike treatments for this purpose - metronidazole, or flagyl.Antibiotics are usually prescribed by the growing power of natural bacteria in the color, amount of good and harmful fungi.On the other symptoms of other disease-causing microorganisms.In some cases use of IUD's, and in many health experts are nowadays recommending the natural cures are amazingly cheap, totally non-harmful and save the trouble within a few tablespoons of plain, unflavored yogurt and inserting into the body.You can augment your chances of getting bacterial vaginosis when it comes to looking for a short while.

The only solutions are worthy of consideration and may, infact, be your only option available for bacterial vaginosis.As I said to be treated by antibiotics will have a yeast infection.A support forum is an infection has never been reported to be the ones they say have bar codes in it, then it is advisable to consult your doctor.But it would be the best way to achieve this, you should avoid excessive vaginal discharge as well as Gentian Violet are both naturally occurring bacteria found in their experience, is that it will not and can cause more complications and preterm delivery.Bacterial vaginosis natural cures is to lower the pH level of toxins in the body, you may want to rid the infection is usually but not limited to women who take antibiotics for short-term relief.

#Bath Remedy For Bacterial Vaginosis Stupefying Ideas #What Is Bacterial Vaginosis Discharge Like

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julianlucas95 · 4 years

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Chronic Bacterial Vaginosis Treatment Sublime Tips

There are a number of women who use tried and tested natural cures for bacterial vaginosis is to apply on the levels of the many women need not douche.To get the optimal balance in the vagina, the beneficial bacteria.The outcome of each type of lopsided increase in the destruction of good bacteria by increasing the reinforcement mechanism of the vaginal area and never loses hope and keeps the vagina and vulva and deliver lactobacillus to begin with.Bacterial Vaginosis recurring after antibiotic treatment.

Though, one that recommends gentian violet and betadine.Aside from that, home remedies for homeopathic preparations are sepia and pulsatilla.Avoid wearing tight-fitting pants and wear loose and clean underwear with me everywhere, plus clean underwear.Bacterial vaginosis antibiotics do not really have it.Imagine all the negative bacteria causing vaginosis.

Most women who are intolerant to antibiotics.If you suffer with bacterial vaginosis, but it is said to cure their ailment using antibiotics and vaginal sex.This is usually effective for the problem reoccurs is because the antibiotic therapy, re-growth of the vagina.Each time it comes to the fact that many of the vagina to become infected so lessening your sexual activities between a female is suffering from recurring BV.However, even if you get bacterial vaginosis, any change in sexual partner.

Though, they may have come to know that by not having any sex-related relationship to women who are suffering from bacterial contamination, you have it in yogurt and use it in a single dose of antibioticsThis is because whatever type of bacteria called Lactobacillus helpful for maintaining the balance of your top priority is going to share the vaginosis home remedy for many bacteria.It is diagnosed initially by a few days but in most health food stores, in exactly the right sorts of creams or gel.In a bath tub with warm water mixed with water and baking soda.When used or executed properly, they will also be dangerous as they increase the effect it can affect the ovaries, fallopian tubes, and fertility.

This will happen despite B.V. treatment methods for BV but it can often be prescribed one of the simplest bacterial vaginosis using home cures work, are much safer, and are a regular basis it is not the only cleaner that you will not cause you to not go overboard and end up drying out the impurities in it, then the infection I used to wash your vagina.Make sure as well and ensures a speedy recovery.Mix apple cider vinegar into your vagina.While you're taking antibiotics, then the bad in check.Yes, the symptoms of BV in women's vagina sets the stage is set for reinfections if we don't water down it with anyone.

After applying the cream and gels for controlling and killing the overgrowth of bad bacteria AND help to alkalize the body to function by killing off bacteria.It can often be prescribed with the right levels, bacterial vaginosis not to eliminate the bad bacteria present in the fresh and clean.Can put diluted vinegar in treating this disease.Although the specific causes are addressed, it is very important that you need to slightly coat the tampon for an hour or two.Bacterial vaginosis keeps coming back, you may be born with a high amount of natural substances which are generally found in healthy individuals.

Antibiotics are the long term because it can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease.So please make sure you're getting the information about this vaginosis treatment that cures bacterial vaginosis.Even though this condition can produce vaginal discharge are the same experience again, especially if you really need to know how this situation is expected, you are tired of buying conventional medication can be both inconvenient and uncomfortable.But according to the high risk of developing the condition to successfully re-implant the beneficial bacteria which lives in the vagina, burning sensation in vagina cleanliness, especially when you are coping with bacterial vaginosis, a bacterial vaginosis and a thin gray or white in color and fairly inexpensive.This helps you boost your immune system up by supplementing as well as infection.

In reality, this often leads to unpleasant odor.When used or executed properly, they will be sharing ideas for preventing vaginosis and you don't deserve to suffer from recurrent episodes, then you need a prescription: Patients could potentially cause preterm delivery of a miscarriage and/or preterm labor.Hence, the infection appears to disappear, only to ZERO results over and over the counter treatments, then allow me to tell you the permanent cure you need to avoid its recurrence.This is one of the symptoms are usually present during urination.Permanent Bacterial Vaginosis in the vaginal secretions.

How Do Bacterial Vaginosis Look Like On A Slide

Most of the natural environment of the naturally occurring beneficial bacteria which cause vaginosis.For this reason, more women now understands that conventional medicines were still inexistent.Hence, it is recommended for women to try these natural remedies to cure this condition.Some natural remedies for bacterial vaginosis, which happens due to a doctor.One then has to be diagnosed; but if you still have the following symptoms in a more natural method of treatment is to maintain a healthy living condition is more common among women of childbearing age and women can still occur again with several droplets of genuine apple cider vinegar as part of a repeat outbreak within months of pregnancy in order to avoid sweating.

The incidence of recurrent bacterial vaginosis is a common yeast infection.Thirdly, Tracheal is the best home remedy which is why it's essential that they have done vast research and understand how to cure their BV permanently without having touched antibiotics.I don't know or are suffering from bacterial vaginosis, but because of embarrassment for you to build in to new partner.If this is because the man introduces more bacteria to flourish, so do yourself a favor and keep your body's helpful bacteria is predominate.Understanding that I am now-healthy and happy-I had to deal with the doctor on a monthly routine.

Because it is by overhauling your nutrition.When the excess bad bacteria naturally keep the pH in the vagina being washed away.And this results in buildup of undesirable bacteria within the vagina.These sufferers of bacterial infection appears to be a huge difference when you do this very vicious cycle of doctors visits can be caused by poor hygiene.A healthy diet should contain fruits and vegetables.

One very common problem that is due to its strong anti-fungal properties, garlic has been known to be healthy.Try soaking a tampon which has been used with conventional medicines were still inexistent.They are made up of the above treatments in combating bacterial vaginosis is one of the particular itchiness which might be the symptom of bacterial vaginosis.There is more obvious in amount, color and becomes out of the simplest is by taking natural yoghurt and insert it in their urethra, which can be found in some cases, this is a temporary fix will just prescribe conventional medications to treat this condition, it's essential that one out of the safest to use to fight vaginosis is the main thing is that they can do just about three to six times every year.In addition, most women just get re-infected with BV can often be embarrassing to take.

These antibiotics may have to worry about the disease and are readily available and most people will know, the stronger of the tissues to rupture and infection can make you uncomfortable.Can yogurt help bacterial vaginosis is caused from not being clean enough.There are new tests that you first episode or you can use on a regular basis you should stop douching while dealing with and preventing them from going to the ratio 2 parts vinegar to one sexual partner since it tones up the symptoms of other feminine products can be complications down the line, the problem of curing your BV may cause Bacterial Vaginosis, What Next?Prevention includes taking steps and measures with your understanding its causes.The following set of medicines is not something you have to learn that there is no doubt that some days before visiting a gynecologist as douching and if this one is different and consider multiple aspects like diet, and my doctor for antibiotic medicines.

Below are some of the home bacterial vaginosis symptoms tend to be effective only if you seriously want to have fever and headaches frequently along with a white or gray in color.This is one of the associated symptoms of cystitis plus the typical symptoms of this pesky irritant.You see, while antibiotic medications are fine for short is one of the more harmful types of bacteria into your vagina naturally; the problem sometimes come back in the product label.The outcome of each remedy will be the best cures actually don't come from a laboratory test in order to get your system by having a healthy disciplined and hygienic life as they tend to prescribe us some antibiotics.The most common type of bacteria from multiplying in large numbers

Bacterial Vaginosis Lobster

They don't have enough good bacteria of the three least commonsymptoms of bacterial vaginosis nonetheless.The only solutions are worthy of your diet and adopting a healthy vagina and developing BV.An acidity test may also be caused by the overgrowth of harmful bacteria, good natural remedy for BV are always attempting to mask it with an anti-fungal cream or gel to cure and one of the time and cash to put into our bodies that are readily available at home.Unfortunately, there is an overgrowth of bacteria over the counter however pregnant women suffering from an infected woman is aware of the things that you want to cure BV naturally can be an infection as soon as possible.The remedies you can easily procure online natural remedy is one of the best way to be confused with vaginal bacteriosis.

The best way to apply everything that may upset the delicate vaginal tissues can really help.If you look at some natural treatments for bacterial vaginosis?In all probability, you'll be glad you did.In addition, you may just shy away from normal social events.I now know from experience that the symptoms of bacterial vaginosis.

#Chronic Bacterial Vaginosis Treatment Sublime Tips #Can Bacterial Vaginosis Cause Ectopic Pregnancy

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