angel-tries-to-write

[angel-tries-to-write]

Bisexual disasters

Fandom: Assassin’s Creed Rating: General Pairing: Jacob Frye x Reader (not quite, can be platonic) Word count: 1501 Genre: fluff

In Victorian England, people who love differently, aren't really welcomed. Thankfully, the Rooks have different opinions.

Underground London would always follow its own rules. What was forbidden among the upper class, was common in places like this. It also meant it was fun, because nobles rarely knew how to have fun. The clock in this bar was showing almost eleven in the night, but you knew the real fun hadn't started yet. That night you wanted to take it slow, so you were sipping your ale when the others switched to something stronger already. You were fine with what you had, after all you wanted to get relaxed, not wrecked.

Apparently Jacob had similar plans, though he already had whisky, he was sipping it much slower than usual. But what didn't change was a bunch of omnipresent Rooks surrounding him, though the closest spots were taken by enamored young women who looked at the Assassin with adoration, they were drinking in his presence rather than drink alcohol like everyone else. You could also notice a group of men by the window, they were whispering and watching the scene with amusement. You assumed they were making fun of the girls and their loud gasps every time Jacob was flirting with one of them. And the more drunk he was getting, the more flirty he would become.

Suddenly one of the men from the distant group stood up, emptied his mug and approached Jacob. You could tell he was nervous.

“Boss, may I have a request?” he asked and Frye looked at him for a moment, then smirked.

“Ask whatever you want, lad” he answered and the poor guy got even more nervous. You observed it with curiosity.

“M-may I ask it privately? I mean, I...” he sighed. “I've lost a bet and I need to do something, but I don't want to lose my place among the Rooks” he explained with cheeks redder every moment. Jacob stood up and came close to the lad, then pulled him out of the prying ears. They talked for a brief moment, then Jacob approached the group by the window and he was rather upset. You had left your spot and moved closer to them, so you would be able to hear what they were talking about. The gang leader leaned on the table and looked at the young men.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, boss! We just wanted him to do something and confront his fears. We had no ill will, we swear, Rook's honor!” said one of them and the others nodded vigorously. Jacob looked at the lad, seeking for confirmation in his face. As soon as he had found it, the Assassin stepped back from the table, pulled the man close and kissed him shamelessly.

You couldn't believe your eyes. That huge flirt and womanizer was kissing a man. Unbelievable. But the more shocking was that no one around them actually cared. The guy's friends were shocked, but not offended, they were more surprised than disgusted. You couldn't take it anymore, you needed to leave, now. The sound of your chair moving rapidly drew more attention than Jacob's action, but you couldn't care less. You stormed outside, not bothering if someone saw you or not, you needed some air, you needed to calm down. Your head was spinning, your mind was a mess, and you didn't know what to think anymore.

Suddenly you heard footsteps behind your back, but you didn't turn around to see who it was. It's not like you had to, Jacob revealed himself pretty soon, when he called after you.

“(Y/n), what's wrong?” he asked. You didn't answer, only started to walk faster, then run. “(Y/n), wait!” he ran after you and soon he grabbed your hand, stopping you. “What happened? Why are you running away?” he asked, trying to understand what was going on.

“Why did you do that?” you asked instead.

“(Y/n), I...”

“Why would you do that? And so casually, like it was nothing, when we both know it's a big thing! You were not supposed to do that, then why did you do it?” you kept asking, not noticing the raise of your voice.

“What's gotten into you?”

“Just tell me. Please.” You looked at him with desperation in your eyes. You needed to know the answers.

“I just felt like it” he shrugged. “The boy is cute and he really should stop overthinking stuff.”

“Are you... do you... like... uh...” you tried to ask but the words kept stucking in your throat.

“Do I like men? Honestly, I don't know. It's all so wrong and messed up. But I think I do. And I like women too. It's confusing” he confessed. “But why did it upset you?”

“I'm sorry. It's not about you, it's about me” you admitted.

“What do you mean?”

“I... I understand this confusion. I've been feeling it my whole life. I like men, but there was always something drawing me to women either” you confessed and you could see Jacob's face changing from concern and confusion to understanding and relief. “When I saw you kissing that lad, I just couldn't take it anymore. All those feelings I've been trying to hide and get rid of through all my life just overwhelmed me.”

“Come here” Jacob opened his arms, offering you a hug. You hesitantly accepted his offer, but soon you had found peace in his embrace. “You have no idea how much it means to me. I have never met someone who would feel like I do.”

“Neither have I.”

“Can we go back to the pub?”

“Yes. I think I owe everyone an explanation.”

“Good point.”

You came back to the place you had left and the first thing you did was to find the lad Jacob had kissed. When you saw him miserably drinking his ale, you nearly ran there.

“Hey, I just wanted to say sorry for storming out like that. I can imagine you might have thought that it was your fault, but I swear it wasn't. You just helped me understand something about myself” you said smiling sheepishly and the guy smiled with relief.

“It's alright, miss (y/n). The Rooks have a lot of space for people who love differently and that's why I love this gang. So many people who don't judge and just let us be ourselves... It's nice”

“It is. But until tonight I was convinced I would always have to hide who I am”

“You have nothing to worry about” the lad's friend spoke. “In this gang either are the ones who love differently or we fully support those who do. Even the boss.”

“What do you mean?” you asked

“Jacob is not very discreet. It wasn't hard to figure out that he's into men as well as women. Of course, no one speaks loudly about it, but no one judges as well. You either accept it or leave the Rooks. That's a rule.”

“I'm surprised it's commonly known.”

“It is. Most of us are open about our preferences.”

“Well, I wish now I knew this earlier. I love like this either and I thought it's not something I should ever talk about.”

“We all did” some other guy spoke. “But once you're one of us, you can stop worrying about it.”

“Thanks.” You smiled with relief. After years of living in fear and shame, it felt nice to be in a supportive environment. You felt like you were freed from some shackles, and like you could finally be truly yourself.

A couple of days later, you were sitting in a pub with Jacob once again. But this time, both of you were having a great time, chatting about stuff. You were telling him a really funny story about one of your fights with Blighters, when suddenly you trailed off and forgot the rest of your words. Your attention was caught by a gorgeous woman, who's just entered the pub and you couldn't help but stare at her. Until you realized Jacob was laughing at you.

“I see your new identity suits you well” he joked.

“Oh, shut it. Did you forget how you almost fell off the roof last week, when you noticed a cute girl on the street?” you reminded him.

“And you were laughing so hard that you almost fell off the roof yourself.”

“She wasn't even that pretty.”

“Are you jealous?”

“Me? Jealous? I think you've had too much alcohol.” You shook your head.

“Oh my... wow...” he said and you thought he was teasing you further, but you noticed him looking above you. When you turned around, you saw a guy undressing, as if he was preparing to fight.

“Woah, he's hot” you commented and Jacob nodded.

“Not as hot as the girl you spotted, but indeed, he's quite attractive” he admitted.

“Is this how our relationship is going to look like? Drooling over attractive people and comparing our findings?” you half joked and Jacob shrugged.

“Are you complaining about that?”

“Not at all. Actually, I quite like that. Cheers.”

#my fic #assassin's creed #jacob frye x reader #jacob frye

[angel-tries-to-write]

Demons of the night

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan Rating: General Pairing: Jean Kirschtein x Mikasa Ackerman, Jean Kirschtein x Marco Bodt, Eren Jäger x Mikasa Ackerman Word count: 1281 Genre: angst

The war has ended. They can have a happy life now. But can they be truly happy knowing they both lost their soulmates?

A/N: Both Jean and Mikasa deserved better.

It was a really nice, sunny day, very peaceful and quiet. No titans in sight. Jean was lying on the soft grass, his eyes were closed and his lips curled softly in a small smile. He didn't remember the last time he was this relaxed, it must have been a long time ago. Suddenly he felt a slow movement by his side, the person lying next to him lifted their hand and caressed Jean's chest, opening his shirt and exposing the soft skin of his stomach. Jean shivered at the touch, his lips parted in delight. His companion leaned down and placed a slow kiss on his mouth. It would become more and more passionate, soon it turned into a full makeout session. Jean pulled back when he was out of breath and opened his eyes to look at his partner. The first thing he noticed were these beautiful light brown eyes, then the constellations of freckles and that amazing, warm smile. Marco was there, handsome as usual, sweet, warm and alive. Right by Jean's side, where he should always be. Jean smiled and pulled his beloved boyfriend closer to kiss him again.

But he felt nothing. His fingers in one moment held Marco's shirt, in other were empty. He smelled  smoke, dark and thick, his mouth instead of Marco's warm lips tasted ash and dust. Suddenly he wasn't on a grassy field anymore, no, he was in Trost. He was running through the ruined buildings, coughing violently from all this smoke, it was everywhere and didn't have any source. Until Jean saw him, saw cold and lifeless body of his best friend, his soulmate, the love of his life, and then he realized where this smoke was coming from: a huge funeral pyre. Hundreds of bodies were burning together and he couldn't even find Marco anymore. He was gone. His absence burned worse than the fire Jean stood dangerously close to. <hr />

He sat up on the bed, all sweaty and panting. His face was wet with tears and his hair disheveled from tossing and turning. He looked around and it took him a long moment to figure out where he was. The room was still dark, so it was just a nightmare. Jean was in his own house, in his own bed, but also on his own. There was no one there, even though there was a second pillow, wrinkled and pressed in, clearly someone slept there. Jean stood up carefully, not sure how he felt physically, and he slowly left the room. There wasn't a single light on, but somehow he knew where to go.

The door to one room were opened. Inside everything was quiet and still, even the woman sitting on the armchair and watching the baby sleeping in the crib. Her eyes were glossy even in the darkness, her cheeks were wet and he could hear small sobs she would often let out.

“Mikasa?” he asked quietly, it was barely a whisper, but he couldn't say anything louder than that. His throat was dry and tight from all that crying. The woman looked at him and she didn't even have to say anything. He knew, he knew very well what happened and why she was there. Before he even took one step towards her, she stood up and left the baby's room. He followed her back to their bedroom, even though he didn't really felt like being there at that time, so soon after his nightmare.

“I just can't” she said quietly. “I can't Jean. I can't be happy anymore. I'm trying so hard, but I can't. I miss him so much” she sobbed and hugged herself in pain.

“I know. But what else we can do?” he asked, sitting next to her.

“I don't know, but I can't take it anymore. We have everything we've always dreamed for, we have peace, we have a family, but I still can't be happy.”

“Not everything” he sighed. “We don't have people we'd like to share this world with...”

She looked up at him, her cheeks glistened with tears, still flowing from her wide eyes.

“You mean...”

“That no matter how hard we try, we're never going to be happy. And no matter what, this hole you have in your heart will never stop aching” he sighed and pulled his hair in frustration. “I miss him every day, Mikasa. Every day for ten years. And every moment without him is as difficult as the first one.”

She hesitated at first, but put her arm on his shoulder. He looked at her for a moment, then pulled her in a hug. They sat in silence for a while, comforting each other until Mikasa spoke.

“Do you think they would want us to be happy? To just move on? To live a life they never had and carry their legacy?”

“Yes” he answered without hesitation. “Both Marco and Eren wanted the best for us, I'm sure.”

“Even... even though Eren did... what he did?”

“I'm talking about real Eren, not that monster he was turned into. The real Eren was our friend, he loved us all. He wasn't a genocidal maniac. Whoever it was, that certainly wasn't Eren. I refuse to believe it.”

“Does it help? Do you feel less guilty?”

“A little. I can't accept that he truly stood against us. Against everything we believe in. The real Eren, our friend, the love of your life... He would never do that. He would never disrespect Marco's legacy.”

“That sounds great. You might be right, actually.”

“Eren loved you, I'm sure of it. And if you love someone, you would do anything for that person. Anything to save them and make them happy.”

“Don't blame yourself. You know you couldn't do anything.”

“I could at least be there for him.”

“You would've died.”

“Maybe it would be for the better. I would rather die than live without him” he whispered, for the first time saying his thougths out loud. Life without Marco was meaningless. No matter how hard he tried to find some purpose, his thoughts would always go to his long lost love.

“I know how you feel. But someone has to change the world for the better. We can't give up, not yet. We have to make our boys proud” she smiled through tears. “And when our time comes, if any afterlife exists, we'll meet them again and tell them how many amazing things we did for them” she said, trying to stay positive, but she sobbed uncontrollably. “You said yourself that we don't really have a choice. We can either give up on life and dreams or try to move on.”

“That's right” Jean pulled away from Mikasa, took a handkerchief and blew his nose. “Moving on is difficult and it hurts so bad, but it's the best we can do. To make our boys proud” he smiled weakly.

“To make our boys proud” Mikasa echoed, wiping her eyes.

They knew they would never be happy, not without people they loved the most. They've lost so many friends, family members and just simply comrades, but most importantly, they've lost their soulmates. The loves of their lives. Both of them knew very well that their marriage wasn't something any of them wanted, but it was easier than living alone. It was easier to have someone who knew exactly how they felt, whose heart was being torn by the same pain over and over again. It bought them some comfort, to know they weren't alone with their suffering. That even if they lost their their love, their friend remained and was always ready to share their pain.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #my fic #jeankasa #jeanmarco #eremika #jean kirschtein #mikasa ackerman

[angel-tries-to-write]

Song for reluctant heroes

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan Rating: General Pairing: Jean Kirschtein x Marco Bodt Word count: 2074 Genre: fluff

Marco has enough of keeping his identity secret. He's not ashamed of being gay and he wants the world to know this. And he chooses a very unusual way to do so. However, Jean doesn't share his enthusiasm. Tied to NOM.

At some point of his career, Jean stopped remembering where, which and why they were performing. Whether it was a regular concert, a talk show, sports event, or even a charity event, he couldn't tell them apart, there were just too many of them. All he had to do was to practice the repertoire for the concert, show up, play, go home. Although it might seem boring when put in simple words like that, it definitely wasn't. For Jean the most important things of the nights like that were just the experience of absorbing the music with every fiber of his body and the amazing energy their fans shared during the show. The band members loved to go to the edge of the stage and touch people's hands whenever they could. This connection was something very special and there was nothing like it. They felt it since the very first seconds of their performances, when they would go on the stage and hear the words:

“Please, welcome, Attack on Titan!”

For Jean it was the moment to put the biggest smile on his face, look at the audience, then at his band mates, to finally start playing the practiced song. After the first number it was time to say a word to the audience. Usually Eren would do that, which meant he could zone out for a while and mind his business.

“Hello, hello, hello!” Eren yelled, walking closer to the edge of the stage. “How are you doing?” he asked, the crowd cheered in response. “There's something I have to tell you. Our friends from No Name couldn't join us today, but we promised we'll play a little tribute to them. I hope you'll enjoy it as much as we do.”

They started to play one of No Name's most recognizable songs: "Reluctant Heroes". Jean really liked it, so he put all his heart into playing it the best he could. He got lost in music so much, that it took him a while to notice something was off. It was not Eren who was singing, as everyone expected. Jean turned his head to look, because he couldn't believe it was...

“M-Marco?” he asked dumbfounded, staring at his boyfriend, who absolutely owned this stage. Marco's voice was so soothing and gentle, like it was made for ballads, it fit perfectly to the song's calm verses. Suddenly something hit Jean's back and he snapped out, turning around with annoyance. It was Armin, he threw something at him and now he mouthed something angrily. "Play"? Wha— OH. Jean completely didn't notice that he kept staring at Marco and stopped playing. He picked up his part, in the corner of his eye he saw Sasha and Connie, fighting hard to not laugh.

“It was like a nightmare and it's painful for me, cause nobody wants to die too fast” Marco's smooth voice flowed through the speakers and Jean felt a very strange feeling crawling down his spine. As if these lyrics spoke not even to his heart, but through it, piercing it with a sensation, that in other time and place this line felt so real. That someone — not just someone, but the most important person to him — died too fast and he was this reluctant hero. He could see his face. He could hear his voice.

He snapped out of it as the song has ended. The feeling faded away as unexpectedly as it came and didn't stay in his memory for too long. How could it, when right after the last tunes silenced, ate audience cheered and Connie was talking something to them, Marco approached Jean and asked:

“Will you sing the next one with me?”

He didn't know what to say. The next song they were about to play was an extremely sensual love song for duet that Mikasa wrote with Eren. Singing it would mean implying or even showing things they not necessarily wanted to be public.

“I don't know, are you sure?” he asked quietly, far from the microphone.

“Positive” Marco nodded, also moving the mic away. “I'm tired of living in lie. I want to come out. Today. Now. I want the whole world to know that I have the best boyfriend ever” he smiled. Damn it, he knew what he was doing, Jean had a soft spot for this smile.

“I don't know” Jean hesitated, weighing his words. “It might really harm your public image” he pointed out. Reiss was out of picture, but his followers and supporters remained, doing such thing could add fuel to their fire.

“Jean, this whole event is made for people like us. Especially to help the young ones. When you were a kid, you would love to see such an example. You would love to have a role model who is like you.” Marco wasn't even asking any questions, he was simply stating things as facts. “You can be such person for the others.”

Jean took a deep breath and nodded. His boyfriend was right. When he was younger and hated himself for being different, he would love to see someone openly gay, but shown in a good way, so little Jean could see it was completely normal. He tuned his guitar.

“I'm ready” he said bravely. Marco gave him the biggest and the most beautiful smile in the world and Jean knew it was the right decision. His boyfriend turned around to announce the song.

“The next song we're going to play is very important to me” Marco said, going closer to the audience. “Huge kudos to our lovely Mikasa, who put the feelings into right words, and to Eren, who found the perfect rhythm and music. I hope they won't be mad at me for borrowing their song to perform it with my special person” he said looking at his friends.

“Are the drinks on you?” Eren asked and the crowd laughed.

“Yeah” Marco answered after a tiny moment of hesitation.

“Then feel free to do whatever makes you happy” Eren shrugged and the audience laughed louder.

“I'll just note that I don't need any bribes to let you sing” Mikasa said, clearly disappointed with her boyfriend's behavior.

“Me neither, I just took an opportunity to get free drinks.”

“I don't know if that's rude or smart” Connie spoke up.

“Probably both” Sasha laughed. “Judging by Mikasa's face, definitely both.”

“Guys, I'm trying to sing here” Marco said, slightly annoyed.

“Try harder” Connie half joked and started to play. The others joined him and there was no point trying to argue.

They played hundreds of concerts, yet Jean never felt so scared and nervous. He wanted it all to be perfect, therefore the thought of messing up was frightening. He took a deep breath and looked at Marco. He focused on his voice and tried to forget about thousands of people around them and millions probably watching the transmission. They didn't matter. Only Marco and his amazing, smooth singing voice. When it was his turn, Jean did his best to sing it well. He didn't have as low, deep and sexy voice as Eren did, a voice that could make his partner shiver (as well as all his fangirls), but he knew Marco was going to like it. So with the lyrics of that love song, he expressed his own feelings for his boyfriend. It was a truly magical experience, just as if the whole world was gone and the two of them and that song were the only thing existing. He could understand now why Eren was forgetting himself so often and would get too close to Mikasa, or even finish a song with a passionate kiss. In the heat of the moment there wasn't much room for thinking and Jean could feel that. So he did the same dumb thing Eren kept doing: the moment the song has ended, he grabbed his boyfriend by the collar and kissed him.

The band was shocked. They never expected that these two, who valued their privacy the most, would ever do something like that in public. The crowd went crazy, screaming and cheering for their favorite couple, but neither Jean nor Marco would hear them, both were too occupied with each other. Finally they broke the kiss and Jean realized what happened. They weren't officially out and they kissed. It was the end of both their careers, the whole world was going to know they were lying, they didn't deserve their fans, fame and successes, it was total disaster, they should never—

Marco knew exactly what was happening in Jean's mind. He's seen that frightened face too many times and it was clear that his boyfriend was having an anxiety attack, so he had to keep him from going into full panic mode. He gently cupped his face and stroke his cheeks with his thumbs.

“It's okay, Jean. I'm here. Nothing is wrong. You did amazing and I'm proud of you, chéri” he said quietly. Jean wasn't a fan of pet names, he disliked them. But sometimes it was the only thing that could bring him back to earth, as it would shift his focus from anxiety to annoyance.

“I hope we won't regret that” Jean closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“I don't care what happens next. As long as we're together, anything can happen. But now, do you need a moment to calm down?” Marco asked and Jean looked around to see his friends looking at him with deep concern. Except for Eren, who talked some nonsense and kept the audience occupied. It didn't mean he didn't care, he just did what had to be done and made people focus on him, not on his friend. But everyone knew he was concerned, he just wasn't showing it.

“I'll be fine” Jean smiled and kissed his boyfriend on the nose. Marco smiled back and took a few steps away.

“Are you okay?” Sasha asked quietly. Jean nodded and smiled softly, appreciating the concern.

“Awesome, I started to run out of jokes. I'm a singer, not a stand up performer” Eren said, making the audience laugh. It might have sounded insensitive, but they knew each other for years, they could tell it was pretty normal.

“Hey, Eren?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for having my back.”

That was unexpected. Everyone thought they would rather be at each other's throats than stay civil. Eren opened his mouth, probably to say something stupid, but he didn't. Instead he did something smart.

“No problem. That's what friends are for.”

They finished the concert without further interruptions. On the next day all the media was crazy about the kiss. It was hard to blame them, it happened between two of the most popular and beloved people in the world. A week later Marco gave an interview where he answered all the questions about them, talked honestly about his identity, discrimination and his relationship with Jean. This interview was extremely important for Marco, so he had chosen the internet television, one he could more or less trust that his words won't be twisted and used against him. And they didn't fail, portraying the interview exactly how he wanted. It was a mutual gain, Marco was able to come out the way he felt comfortable, which was extremely important in his field of work, and the media made a lot of money selling his story, they were also shown as trustworthy, as they didn't twist it into a cheap drama.

Jean quickly found out that everything he was scared of was unimportant. His life didn't change at all after that concert and since his coming out as bisexual in his social media, he received tons of warm and supportive messages. Of course there was some hate, but he realized he couldn't care less about it. He would just block every hater instantly, because he didn't want to waste his time and energy on them. He just wanted to focus on good people and on setting an example for his young fans. He opened up and told his story, how years of internalized homophobia almost ruined his life and relationship. He didn't want anyone else to go through this. Marco was right, such role models were needed and very important. Someone who kids could look up to and make their lives better. Jean never had such person growing up. So he decided to become one for his fans.

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #my fic #jeanmarco #jean kirschtein #marco bodt

[angel-tries-to-write]

Paint

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan Rating: Explicit Pairing: Jean Kirschtein x Marco Bodt Word count: 2157 Genre: smut

Marco loves to watch Jean paint. Why wouldn't he want to have a special portrait then? Tied to “The Name of Music”.

It was the first time in ages when Marco was able to leave his office earlier, no counting the times he was sick and his friends had to forcibly remove him from his own office, even though they were the one working for him. Since he was elected, he struggled a lot with self care. He was slowly turning into a people pleaser and worked hard to prove he deserved all the trust his voters put in him. But when Hitch pointed that out loud, he started wondering if he maybe pushed himself too hard. After all, people chose him for a reason and he felt he slowly started to lose his goal. And who was he without it? Just another politician, nothing special. So he decided to put more thought in taking care of himself and go back to his old habits of bringing everyone comfort. He started talking loud about the importance of mental health, about unrealistic goals and pressure people were putting on themselves and how it was destructive to both individuals and society. He decided to set new standards, to be a role model for people, and it worked so well. He gained even more love and even his opponents couldn't say much about it, because his narrative was clear: that system doesn't work, it's hurtful and it needs to be changed, because happier people were building a better society, worked more efficiently and were making the country prosper. It was hard to argue with that in a sensible way.

So he decided to take a break and cut his work hours to spend some time with his boyfriend. Jean came back from another tour just a few days ago and he was staying for a while. They should really use that time well, with their tight schedules it was difficult to make some time and long distance relationship could be tiring sometimes. Marco even started to have intrusive thoughts that maybe this wasn't what Jean wanted. On his way home, deep down he worried that maybe, since Jean didn't expect him to be back this early, Marco might catch him in their bed with a cute girl. He would never say it out loud to anyone, Jean once punched him for doubting his loyalty, but Marco knew that anxiety wasn't rational. It would create unreal scenarios and fixate on them, driving him crazy. So he tried to keep it down, to cling onto logic and explain to himself that it was only in his brain.

But only when he stepped through the doorstep of their apartment, he was able to chase away these thoughts. There was one particular thing that made him sure Jean was all alone, very busy, but alone: the omnipresent smell of paint. Jean was painting very rarely, he didn't have much time for that, but when he did, Marco loved to watch him create. So he quietly took his steps to Jean's workshop and the view took his breath away for a moment. His beloved boyfriend was there in his old sweatpants, his chest was bare, marked with paint. He was kneeling on the floor with paint brushes in his mouth, pallette in one hand and the currently used brush in the other, and he was just painting. Marco could watch him for hours, just stare and marvel at the act of creation. Sometimes Jean liked to work with his canvas lying horizontally, he claimed the paint was spreading better this way. He was completely focused on his work, unaware of Marco's presence. It was probably good, because he looked so hot, that Marco instantly felt his arousal rising. His clothes started to feel tight and uncomfortable, his mouth watered and an interesting idea came to his mind.

“Hey” he said quietly, drawing his boyfriend's attention.

“You're early” Jean said in response, looking up at his partner.

“Yeah, I decided to spend some time with you” Marco answered, loosing up his tie. “Unless you’re too busy.”

“No, actually I’ve just finished” Jean stood up and wiped his brushes. “It just has to dry. I’ll go shower and we can do whatever you would like to do.”

“Actually… I thought that maybe we could do something else.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’d like you to paint me.”

“That’s your idea? You know it’s boring, right?” Jean made sure his boyfriend knew what he was getting himself into.

“Don’t worry, watching you work is entertaining enough” Marco smiled, taking off his jacket and tie.

“Alright, if you really want to, you can even choose a pose” the artist said, preparing a new canvas. His partner approached the fancy chair Jean used sometimes as a prop, it was styled to resemble old furniture and quite comfortable, perfect for sitting for hours and posing. Then he started to unbutton his shirt, earning just a raised brow from Jean.

“What? Is there something you don’t like?” he asked teasingly, opening also his belt and pants.

“On the contrary, but I’m worried where you want to take it” Jean answered, trying to stay calm. It was the last thing he expected today, but not unwelcome. He got ready himself as Marco proceeded to strip off his clothes and put them away from paint. He felt himself getting nervous, but he had no idea why. He had seen Marco naked on multiple occasions, they were dating for quite a long time, but art had always been something extremely intimate to him, even more intimate than sex. And having his boyfriend there, in his private space where he could be vulnerable and stripped of all barriers and masks, where he was fully himself… it was something new. He obviously painted Marco before, but usually from a photo or his memory. Never like this. It was making him really nervous.

Marco experienced similar things. There was a difference between undressing in the bedroom, bathroom, or in some other places, and here, in this small atelier. But he had always wanted to do something like this, so after a moment of hesitation he slid down his boxers, remaining completely naked.

“Are you sure you want this?” Jean asked with concern and Marco smiled, feeling his nervousness melt away a little. Jean was always so kind, caring and thoughtful, it was one of the reasons he fell so hard for him.

“Positive” he turned around confidently and sat down on the chair, leaning comfortably on it. Jean took a sharp breath and bit his lower lip.

“Brush your hair” he directed with a husky tone. Marco smirked and lifted one of his hands to slowly ruffle his slicked back raven hair. Jean swallowed hard, watching his boyfriend sitting confidently on the chair with a sly smirk on his face, piercing gaze and that toned body. The lifted hand accentuated the muscles of his chest and stomach, as well as his nipples, hardened from the cold. The other hand rested on his thigh, his legs were spread comfortably and it was hard to miss the erected cock, standing proudly and shamelessly. This man was gorgeous, incredibly sexy and confident, there was no slightest shade of pink on his face, like he was completely fine with posing for such a portrait. Jean loved him so much.

“Like this?” Marco asked seductively, knowing fully well what he was doing to his partner.

“Perfect” Jean whispered, voice stuck in his throat. He prepared the canvas and looked at Marco again. “So this is the exact portrait you want to have?” he asked to make sure his boyfriend knew what he was doing.

“You don't like it?”

“I never said that. I just need to know if you really thought this through.”

“I wouldn't phrase it exactly this way, but why not? Besides, I can't help it, you look so hot when you paint.”

“Do you want me to paint you or fuck you, because now I'm confused.”

“We can do both.”

“No, we can't.”

“If you say so” Marco sighed with slight disappointment. “You can paint me and we can discuss the other suggestion later” he smirked. Jean shook his head and took his phone. He took a quick photo for a better reference and started to do what Marco asked for. If this was really what he wanted, Jean couldn't refuse him, so he got to work. He still wasn’t sure if it was a good idea, after all, painting was not a quick process and it was going to take at least several hours until it’s ready, but at least he needed Marco just for the basic sketch and later, for the details. Which meant he could use the remaining time in a better way. A smirk appeared on Jean’s lips when he came up with this idea. He did his best to do the right base for the rest of his painting, but it still took some time.

“Looks like you’re tired already” he said playfully, noticing that Marco looked quite uncomfortable. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea.

“I’m not tired” he protested. “But I admit, it’s getting uncomfortable. Maybe I should reconsider this. It’s a pleasure to watch you paint, of course, but I wonder how much time I have left until this starts to be painful” he said, pointing at his crotch.

“We can do something about that.”

“You said–”

“Yes, I did. But we’ll have to wait until the first layer of paint dries anyway. Painting is a long process and you don’t have to be present in every step of it. Once I’m done, I won’t need you here until I start to work on details. Which means we have some time for each other” Jean explained, not stopping painting. Marco didn’t say anything, just watched his boyfriend, thinking about what he said, but he decided to wait until the process was done, to see what he had in mind.

Finally Jean put his brushes away and took a rag to wipe his hands. The first layer was done and they had to wait until it dries to continue working on the painting. It meant they could at least have some fun in the meantime. With this in mind, he approached his model.

“Have you finished?” Marco asked, watching his boyfriend carefully.

“For now, yes. But it’s going to take even a few days until it’s finished and I don’t want you to see it when it’s not ready. So if you don’t mind, I kindly ask you to not look at this painting” Jean answered, standing between Marco’s legs and forcing him to tilt his head back and look up.

“I assume you know what we could do in the meantime?” he asked with a playful smirk.

“You can say that” Jean said and leaned down to support himself on the chair back, which made his lips end up just a few inches from Marco’s, who wasn’t wasting his time, he closed the distance and kissed his partner. They remained in this position for a while, until Jean moved with his kisses on Marco’s neck.

“Jean…”

“Mmm?”

“Don’t tease me too much, okay?”

“As you wish” Jean muttered against his skin and kept kissing him, leaving a wet trail of kisses until he knelt in front of the chair.

Marco bit his lip with anticipation and excitement, but then he immediately opened his mouth, gasping loudly when Jean licked his cock. Such a long lasting erection made him sensitive to the slightest touch. He put his hand on his partner’s head, moaning softly with every suck. Jean was really careful and gentle, fully aware that he might very easily hurt his boyfriend and he did best not to, after all his goal was to cause pleasure, not harm. It was funny, a few years prior he would be disgusted at the thought of even kissing another man and now he was on his knees for one, doing his best to make him happy. And he was thrilled to do so, he loved to watch Marco enjoy blowjobs this much. So even though initially reluctant, he embraced his sexuality and discovered there was nothing wrong with sucking dick, unlike he used to think. So he did his best to make his boyfriend feel good, and he knew that with every lick, suck, and the slightest movement, Marco was closer and closer to his climax. He could feel it by the tension of the muscles of his thighs, by his shallow, uneven breaths and by his fingers tightened firmly on Jean's hair. And it didn't take long for him to come with Jean’s name falling from his lips. He leaned back on the chair, breathing heavily.

“You were amazing as usual” he said, giving his partner a look of bliss and exhaustion.

“Want to move to bed and continue there?” Jean asked with a smile, satisfied with the result of his actions.

“I hoped you would ask.”

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #jeanmarco #jean kirschtein #marco bodt #my fic

[angel-tries-to-write]

Siblings will be siblings

Fandom: Encanto Rating: General Pairing: None Word count: 2427 Genre: family fluff

Just pure, plotless, family fluff starring Madrigal triplets.

That day was exceptionally peaceful, but no wonder. After the disaster that nearly tore the family apart, the Madrigals decided that two days in the week should be resting days focused on family and self care. And it worked quite well, they would spend these days on talking, playing games and mostly having fun and bonding. Although some chores still had to be done, like making food, even if Julieta would never call it a chore. She enjoyed cooking, not just because it was her gift, but because she considered it relaxing. So when the rest of the family was goofing around, she was preparing a dinner, humming happily. She almost didn't notice the figure lurking shyly at the entrance of the kitchen.

“Something happened, Bruno?” she asked, letting her brother know she was aware of his presence.

“No, um... I mean... I just thought... maybe... maybe you need some help?” he asked nervously, coming closer. His crouched posture was clearly showing that he still wasn't quite used to being a valid family member and he often tried to act like he was invisible, which was heavily frowned upon by Mirabel, who would do anything to make her uncle feel appreciated. A lot like her mother, who always enjoyed her brother's presence, no matter what happened.

“That would be great” Julieta smiled warmly. Bruno smiled back, straightened up and rushed to the sink to wash his hands, but she stopped him softly. “But I have two conditions. You need to take this off” she pointed at his ruana “and you need to tie your hair up. Please” she added in case her gentle voice wasn't convincing enough.

“Uhhh...” Bruno hesitated, grasping at the cloth that was providing him comfort.

“I know why you're so attached to it, but you need to be comfortable and careful here. Besides, you don't have to hide. It's just the two of us here” she placed her hand on his shoulder and looked at him with a reassuring expression. Bruno looked at his sister with hesitation, took a deep breath and nodded, then he did what she asked for.

“Alright” he took his ruana off, folded it neatly and put away. Underneath he wore the new, purple shirt Mirabel made for him and he really loved it. Without a word, Julieta handed out a hair tie she pulled out of nowhere.

“I have three daughters, hair ties are something I have lots of” she explained, seeing his puzzled expression.

“I see” he hummed and tied his hair up. “I feel weird. Do I look dumb?”

“I don't care how you look, all I care about is that we won't get your fabulous hair inside our dinner.”

“Fabulous? I think you've mistaken me for Isabela” Bruno chuckled lightly.

When he was ready, his sister gave him something to do and they worked in silence for a while. It was quite unusual for Julieta to have someone to help her, usually the family would just wait for dinner in peace, they would only set the table and then do the dishes after the meal. But the food making process was all on Julieta. Not that she needed help, she didn't, actually, she was doing pretty fine. She simply couldn't say no to anything Bruno asked for. She was painfully aware that her lack of support caused him to leave, she understood it only when her daughter almost shared the same fate. So she found herself desperately trying to make up for the lost time and prevent the situation from happening ever again. Maybe she should have been more vocal with her support, less passive, maybe she could have prevented all of that, maybe—

Julieta bit down a groan and a curse when she accidentally burned herself.

“Everything alright?” Bruno asked with concern.

“It's nothing. I just should stay focused on what I'm doing” she answered, rinsing her hand with cold water.

“What's on your mind?”

“It's just... I wonder if I could have done something to change the past. You were lost for so long and I've almost lost my child, because I couldn't help you. The thought that you were convinced you don't belong in this family, or that you were causing bad things happen... I feel so guilty, I should have done something” she confessed. Bruno approached his sister and hesitantly put his arm around her shoulders.

“Hey, hey, hey, you're not to blame here. I mean, we all are, but don't be hard on yourself. I should have told you what I saw. I should have warned you. I... I should have just trusted you. I wanted to protect Mirabel, but I didn't think for a moment, that I didn't have to do it alone, that maybe you as her mother would know better what to do” he smiled weakly. Julieta finally looked at him and pulled him in a hug.

“I missed you so much. There wasn't a day when I wouldn't think about you.”

“I missed you too. I spent so long convinced that you hate me...”

“I could never hate you.”

“I know. I just... I think it was easier to think so already than give myself a fake hope in case I was right. You know, I was used to everyone always assuming the worst.”

“I'm sorry. You should never feel this way. It was never your fault bad things were happening. I should've stood up for you more often.”

“It's alright. What matters is that we're together once again and right now we should probably focus on cooking” Bruno pointed out with a soft smile.

“Right... Just one more squeeze” Julieta hugged her brother tighter before letting go of him.

“You know, it feels weird to be close to the family again, after so many years, but Mirabel is so dedicated to making me feel better that I can't even try to think I don't belong here without having her on my back. She's worse than Dolores, almost like she's reading my mind, you know?”

“She can be pretty stubborn and determined. I guess it runs with the family” Julieta chuckled.

“Does it?”

“She's so much like our mamá.”

“Now that you pointed it out... You might be right.”

“A lot like her tío too.”

“Okay, no, I don't know where you got this idea from...”

“She was willing to do anything for our family. No matter how difficult or even impossible it seemed. I'm seeing some resemblance here. And she's a big softie with an even bigger heart, just like you.”

“Hey, have some respect for the scariest person in this house” Bruno joked. “I can give you the most terrifying prophecy you've ever heard!”

“Oh no! What possibly could it be?” Julieta asked with a very obvious fake fear.

“Your soup... will be too salty! Mwahahahaha!” he said and both of them burst out laughing.

“Jokes? Without me? I'm offended” Pepa spoke suddenly, they hadn't even noticed her coming.

“This is our kitchen party, get out or get to work” Bruno said lightly.

“Sorry, but this is Pepa-free zone. Did you forget that you nearly burnt down the house the last time you tried to cook?” Julieta teased her.

“It was twenty years ago and you still don't want to let me near the kitchen” Pepa complained, sitting on the chair and crossing her arms, unhappy about the situation.

“I have a valid reason to do so.”

“Well, stop having fun without me then.”

“We're not just having fun, this is called cooking and you're not allowed to do so.”

“Give her something easy to do. I'll keep my eye on her” Bruno suggested, not wanting his sister to feel excluded.

“You need supervision yourself and you expect me to let you supervise Pepa? Have you forgotten that the moment I let you two off my sight, the hell breaks loose?” Julieta asked, raising her eyebrow. She had too much experience with her siblings and their ideas.

“Come on, Juli, it was a long time ago. We're grown ups now” Pepa whined. “I really want to help you.”

“Alright, alright. I'll give you something so easy that even you won't be able to ruin” Julieta sighed and gave up. For a moment they all worked in silence, focused on their tasks, until Pepa spoke up again.

“It's nice to see you this relaxed, Bruno” she pointed out. “I don't remember the last time I saw you like this. Usually you try to act like you didn't exist. Which is sad, if you ask me, I like to see you being comfortable.”

“I could say the same thing. I don't remember the time you were upset and didn't cause a blizzard. It never happened” Bruno noticed the absence of unwanted weather in the kitchen.

“Let's just say that your advice really worked. Embracing my emotions gave me a better control over them and now I can feel everything without the risk of flooding the house” Pepa chuckled. “Maybe if I had listened to you earlier, I wouldn't have been the main reason we never talked about you” she furrowed her brows and a cloud started to form above her.

“Pepa, I'm begging you, don't rain on our dinner” Julieta waved her hand, chasing the cloud away.

“Sorry, sorry.”

“It's alright. There are good outcomes of that” Bruno smiled, trying to cheer her up.

“Like what?”

“Like Camilo thinking I was seven feet tall” he said and Pepa snorted.

���Alright, that was quite funny. So was his face when he realized you're actually shorter than both of us and not nearly as intimidating as he thought.”

“I bet it was priceless. I wish I paid attention to him then” Bruno chuckled.

“I glanced very briefly, but Felix took a better look and he told me everything later. We laughed at that for long” she snickered, remembering the situation.

“Oh, please, you know Camilo always liked to perform. I bet he just wanted to scare Mirabel and added some of his ideas to the description” Julieta shook her head, defending her nephew.

“Why are you always on his side? I thought we weren't supposed to play favorites?” Pepa asked with amusement.

“I'm just saying how it is. Besides, the kids are playing favorites, why can't we?”

“Because they're kids.”

“Half of them are adults.”

“Details.”

“Wait, who is playing favorites?” Bruno asked with surprise, he had no idea what his sisters were talking about.

“Everyone. And you're winning, by the way” Pepa answered, only half joking.

“What?”

“You're everyone's favorite tío, Bruno.”

“That's impossible.”

“It actually makes sense” Julieta started to consider what her sister said. “You put family first like all of them, you love animals like Antonio, you love performing like Camilo, you enjoy interesting stories like Dolores, who really adores your telenovelas, you like to play pranks like Isabela, and you're competitive like Luisa. And Mirabel, well, it's kind of obvious. My point is, they all love you, Bruno” she explained. “Even if you don't think it's possible, it's true.”

“Like I said, you're the kids' favorite tío” Pepa agreed with her sister. “Which makes me sad, because, not gonna call names, but some of them would choose someone else over their own parents, but I guess it's not important.”

“It's not true, you're just being dramatic” Julieta rolled her eyes.

“Me? Dramatic? I'm never being dramatic” Pepa protested, being offended by such a suggestion.

“You are dramatic right now” Bruno deadpanned. “And Julieta is right, your kids would never choose anyone over you.”

“You're just saying so to calm me down and avoid unwanted weather changes, aren't you?” she asked, unamused.

“Of course not. I'm convinced it's true” he firmly denied. Pepa looked carefully at her brother, who was calm and confident, he didn't act like he was caught lying. He was never a good liar and it was pretty easy to tell if he was telling the truth or not.

“Well then, I really hope you're not mistaken” she said finally.

“Of course I'm not, why would I be? You don't believe in your own children? Or in yourself?”

“Can we not have a conversation about my self esteem right now?”

“Alright, I'll wait until you can rain without ruining our food.”

“Bruno!”

“What?”

Pepa looked like she wanted to say something mean, but she didn't. Fights never lead to anything good and she didn't want to pointlessly hurt her siblings. She took a deep breath in and out, just like Camilo or Felix would tell her to do so.

“I'm glad to have you back. I actually missed your honesty and incredible observation skills. Even if what you say is sometimes hard to hear, it's important to be said” she smiled softly.

“That's very mature of you to say” Julieta noticed, half-jokingly. “Never thought you have that in yourself.”

“Gee, thanks. I thought we're past this.”

“Relax, Pepi. You know I'm not serious. I just want to exploit a little the fact that you actually can control the weather and you won't unexpectedly cause a tornado the moment someone says something you don't like. Just let me be the mean sister for once.”

“Señorita perfecta Julieta wants to be mean? This can't be” Pepa gasped with a fake shock.

“What? Isabela is having fun not being perfect, I'm allowed too.”

“She's got a point” Bruno agreed with a small smile. “We've all changed and learned a lot, let her be mean if she wants to.”

“Fine. I guess it's "let's all hate Pepa" club.”

“It's not, stop being so dramatic. You know we love you and we would never trade you for anything” Julieta leaned down and smooched her sister's cheek.

“Alright, alright. Maybe I am dramatic” Pepa smiled, cheered up. “I'm just a little jealous that you've always been the perfect one and you also had a better relationship with Bruno” she sighed.

“Excuse me? I was stuck in the kitchen or helping people, when you two were having fun. I was always so jealous of you” Julieta protested.

“I was jealous too, none of you were the omen of bad luck, you have wonderful husbands and amazing children. I have no one” Bruno said with bitterness in his voice.

“You have us” Pepa opposed quickly.

“You know what I mean.”

“You don't need a spouse and children to be happy” Julieta claimed firmly. “You are just as special as everyone in this family.”

Bruno smiled softly, looking at his sisters with love and gratefulness.

“It's good to be back.”

#encanto #my fic #madrigal triplets

[angel-tries-to-write]

No Miracle

Fandom: Encanto Rating: Teen and up Pairing: None Word count: 1520 Genre: angst with no happy ending

 Bad ending AU aka what if Casita didn't save Mirabel.

Even in the worst dreams none of them could even imagine a situation like this. Their whole house was in ruin, their beloved Casita kicked them out in the last act of despair. Even facing its own destruction, the house cared about them deeply. They would be impressed if only they didn't have more urgent problems and the first of which was to make sure everyone was alright.

“Mirabel!” Julieta called for her youngest daughter, hoping so much that she was alright. “Has anyone seen Mirabel?!”

“Julieta! Come, quick!” she suddenly heard her sister's scared voice, but she didn't move, still looking around. “Julieta!” Pepa's voice was so distraught that she had to go and check what happened. She assumed it was nothing serious anyway.

Until she saw Camilo sitting on the ground with a blood stain on his shirt.

“I'll be fine, mama, it's just a scratch” he smiled, his lip was also split. He must have gotten hurt when he rushed to save the candle and despite that, he still was brushing it off to calm his mother down. Julieta hoped it was indeed nothing much and carefully examined his injuries. Turned out she was right.

“It's not a deep wound. It's bleeding, but not too heavily. Nothing serious” she stated calmly, trying to reason with her sister, who was on the verge of tears. Even the always calm Félix looked shaken, seeing his son like this. But he managed to think straight and quickly provided bandages, which Julieta used to dress her nephew's wound.

“Thanks” Camilo stood up as soon as she was done. “Hey, at least I'm going to have a cool scar” he joked. Pepa hugged him tight, unable to control herself anymore.

“I was so scared! Don't do that again!” she yelled, holding onto her son for dear life.

“Julieta!” Agustín called his wife and so she stopped paying attention to her sister immediately. Her husband had his arms wrapped around their oldest daughter, who was wincing and clutching her hand to her chest.

“What happened?” Julieta asked with concern, approaching them.

“I think I sprained my wrist when I fell” Isabela explained as she hesitantly let her mother check on the injury. It hurt a lot, she was holding back tears and either she wasn't as good as Camilo, or Julieta just knew because she was her mother.

“It's not sprained, it's just twisted. We have to wrap it up tight. You'll be okay, mija” she smiled and proceeded to wrap her daughter's hand with a bandage. “Anyone else is injured?” she asked, looking around. Suddenly Dolores approached them, but she was looking in the other direction.

“Is that... tío Bruno?” she asked loud enough to get everyone's attention. Julieta and Pepa immediately turned around, noticing the person Dolores was looking at. It was indeed their long lost brother, kneeling in the ruins of their house. They screamed his name and ran to hug him. Pepa was first to reach him, but Julieta froze when she heard him crying. And she saw something she didn't want to see. Blood. Oh no. No.

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry” Bruno whispered, not really reacting to his sisters. Pepa kneeled next to him and gasped. He had the burnt candle in one hand.

And the cracked and blood stained round glasses they knew so well.

“No...” Julieta whispered, approaching a pile of ruins with heavy heart.

“I wish I could see that future. I wish I could prevent it” Bruno sobbed, his head was lowered, hidden behind his black hair. Julieta barely held back her own tears when she started digging in the debris. She was so scared of what she might find there. And she was right.

A hand. A small hand, dirty and bloody.

No.

“NO!” she screamed, digging more frantically. Her husband was by her side in seconds, helping her, even though he was shaking. They knew. They both knew.

“Please, please, please” Agustín whispered as they uncovered white blouse, black hair and the rest of the small and broken body covered in dust and blood.

“No, no, no, no, no!” Julieta pushed the hair back, to see the face. Still and lifeless. “Mirabel!” she screamed, checking for any signs of life. But found nothing. “Mirabel!” she called again, pulling her daughter up with inhumane strength. She checked again. Still nothing. And no chance of changing that state. The amount of blood pooling from Mirabel's head was a clear sign of a deadly wound. Julieta screamed again and it was the most terrifying sound anyone could ever hear. A scream of a grieving mother.

Pepa hugged Bruno tight and started crying on his shoulder when she realized what happened. He let go of the candle and hesitantly wrapped his arm around his sister, forgetting about any insecurities. Isabela and Luisa held each other right, not hiding tears anymore. Félix hugged both his sons, trying to stay strong for them. Dolores took Abuela's hand, even though she didn't have super sensitive hearing anymore, her aunt's scream still hurt her ears and feelings. And Alma... she was reliving her trauma again. In mourning Julieta she saw herself, fifty years earlier, when she had lost her beloved husband. And the story repeated itself. She was so scared that it might happen, that she actually caused this to happen. She tore her family apart because of fear. She wasted the second chance she was given.

And just like fifty years earlier, a mysterious light appeared. It came out of nowhere, maybe fell from the sky, and started to swirl around Bruno's hand. Over Mirabel's broken glasses. And they started to shine, green turned to gold. Suddenly Dolores covered her ears with a grimace, a cloud appeared above Pepa and it started snowing, and Isabela made a completely black rose. Their miracle was back. But nothing else changed. Their house didn't rebuild itself. And worse, Mirabel didn't open her eyes. She remained still and lifeless.

“The gifts are back!” Alma yelled with hope. “Quick, Julieta—”

“These are no gifts” Bruno spoke. He gently pushed Pepa away and stood up, ready to confront his mother. “It was never a miracle. It was a trade” he said with a broken voice, holding Mirabel's glasses like a dearest treasure. “Fifty years ago we were given it, because our padre sacrificed himself so we could live. Today Mirabel did the same” he pointed out, choking back sobs. “We were so wrong. So wrong.”

“What do you mean? You think...”

“I think it was not a blessing like we always thought, mama. And that some things are unavoidable. I left to protect Mirabel and it changed nothing. I knew if I told you that in my vision she was standing in front of a ruined house, you would never accept that. You would try to get rid of her to protect the magic. But the magic didn't need your protection. It needed an offering. Mirabel wasn't granted a gift, because she was the next offering. She was the price we had to pay for using the magic” Bruno explained. “This is why I could never see this moment. It had to be a sacrifice. Selfless. For the good of our family.”

“Just like Pedro...” Alma gasped. “If I only knew...”

“We weren't supposed to know.”

“It was all my fault.”

“We all are to blame” Isabela spoke suddenly. She looked like mess for the first time in her life. And she couldn't care less. “Mirabel was right. We were too focused on the magic and the miracle to see what was important. To see that we can't be happy as a family if we aren't happy as individuals. We should have known that magic always comes with price” she approached her mother, who still held her youngest child and sobbed uncontrollably. Isa kneeled down and hugged her mother and her youngest sister. The area immediately covered with black roses, symbols of Isabela's grief after the loss of Mirabel.

Luisa followed her older sister and joined the rest of the family without a word. Antonio did the same thing. He loved his cousin more than anything.

“I don't want that stupid gift. I want Mirabel back” Antonio sobbed, touching his cousin fearfully.

“Yeah. And a house? We don't need a house” Camilo agreed with his brother and kneeled next to him. “We need you, Mirabel” he said quietly. The rest of the family joined as well with the last being Alma.

“You're the real gift, kid. Not some magic. Don't leave us, not yet. Not like that” Bruno whispered, letting his mother take his hand for comfort.

“Open your eyes” Alma pleaded. “I was so wrong. I'm sorry, I'm terribly sorry. If this is the price for a miracle, we don't want it. All we need and want is to have our girl back.”

But their prayers remained without answer. The deed was done. The price was paid. And there was no refunds. At least they didn't have to pretend they were okay, because they knew they weren't. And they would never be again.

#encanto #encanto bad ending au #encanto dark au #my fic

[angel-tries-to-write]

It’s okay to be gay

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan Rating: General Pairing: Jean Kirschtein x Marco Bodt Word count: 3880 Genre: fluff, family fluff

Jean knew he couldn’t hide his relationship with Marco forever. He also couldn’t hide who he was. But he had no idea what his parents were thinking about it and it scared him. Tied to “The Name of Music”.

Jean looked at his reflection in the mirror for the last time and turned around. He was extremely nervous, which was surprising for him, he would've thought that after performing so many concerts in front of millions of people nothing could make him anxious, yet he kept compulsively fixing his already perfect appearance and pacing here and there. Finally he stormed back into the bedroom, where his boyfriend was still getting ready.

“What takes you so long?” he asked with irritation.

“Huh?” Marco turned his head and looked at Jean. “Damn it” he swore quietly when his tie got tangled up again.

“Ugh, give me that” Jean approached his boyfriend and tied his tie in a few skilled moves. “For an elegant politician who always wears ties, you suck at tying them too hard.”

“Usually Annie does it for me. Thanks” Marco smiled and took Jean's hands in his. “Hey, relax. We're supposed to celebrate tonight, not stress out” he smiled and kissed his partner's nose. After all these years he could easily tell when Jean was stressed.

“Maybe we should stay at home” Jean fixed the nonexistent wrinkles on Marco's shoulders. That dinner was really making him anxious.

“Hey. It's going to be fine. No pressure, just a casual family dinner.”

“Yeah” he slid his hands on his boyfriend's chest. “Have I ever told you that you look really hot in a suit?”

“No, Jean, we're going anyway” Marco crossed his arms on his chest, knowing fully well what his partner tried to do. “Come on.”

Jean sighed and followed him, but with little enthusiasm. He wasn't quite convinced if it was that good idea, but he knew it was important for his boyfriend, so he got in the car and drove them to the restaurant. But even then he was extremely nervous and Marco wasn't really helpful. On a contrary, he even added fuel to the fire.

“You know, I'm thinking that maybe we should finally make our relationship official” he spoke suddenly and Jean had to put a lot of effort to avoid hitting the other car.

“What? You want to tell everyone we're dating?” he asked with shock.

“Well, yes, why not? Reiss is out of the picture, I don't have to be afraid anymore. I want to be myself” Marco shrugged. He seemed convinced and optimistic about that.

“I know, but it might not be a good idea” Jean said, not looking at his partner.

“Why?”

“People won't be happy” he answered evasively.

“I thought you don't care what people think. Unless...” Marco looked at him suspiciously. “You still haven't told your parents about us, have you?”

“Um...”

“Jean!”

“Okay, I haven't, I'm sorry” Jean let out a frustrated sigh. “I just... I don't know how they would react. I'm scared, okay? I don't want them to reject me.”

“They won't.”

“Easy for you to say, your parents are very supportive” he growled, grabbing the steering wheel tighter.

“Hey” Marco put his hand on Jean's thigh and squeezed it gently. “Whatever happens, you'll still have my family. Besides, I don't think your mom would just abandon you. She loves you too much.”

“It's not mom I'm afraid of” Jean admitted, gritting his teeth.

“Don't worry. It's going to be alright.”

“Let's hope you're not wrong” Jean sighed and threw his head back when he stopped in the red light.

“Hey” Marco gently took his boyfriend's chin and turned his face towards him. “You will have to tell them eventually, you don't have to do that today, but you can't hide it forever. But no matter what happens, you have me, okay? Don't forget about that” he smiled, stroking his cheek.

Jean took a deep breath and nodded. Marco was so calm that he felt his anxiety soothe a little.

“If we tell them and they throw a tantrum... Will you stay with me anyway?” he asked hesitantly. Marco chuckled softly.

“Of course I will. No matter what happens. I promised” he gave Jean a quick kiss and pulled back on his seat, because the light turned green and they had to go.

When they entered the restaurant, Jean couldn't hear anything but the deafening beating of his heart. He shouldn’t feel that scared, it was nothing new, just two friendly families eating dinner together and celebrating. Nothing unusual. Nothing to be afraid of. So why did he feel so awkward, why was it so difficult? He desperately tried to stay calm, but he couldn’t even hold Marco’s hand for comfort. Terrible. But being the performer taught him that no matter what, the show must go on. If he managed to replace Eren as a lead singer when they needed it and not ruin that huge concert, he could eat a very uncomfortable dinner as well. He just had to convince himself it was all a stage play. He quickly put a trained smile on his face, the one that would make Historia happy and proceeded to exchange greetings with his and Marco’s families. Not like there were many people, just his parents, Marco’s parents and Ashley with her girlfriend. Yet it felt like a crowd. At least most of them knew their secret, one of them heavily contributed to the situation, so he shouldn’t feel alone. But he did. And he was doing the best he could to hide his feelings.

Marco was oblivious to his suffering. Jean didn’t blame him, it was his night. He had a reason to celebrate and Jean would never let his fears get in the way and ruin such a happy night. But he was painfully aware that it was going to end in drama, sooner or later, he had bad feelings about that night. Especially if the alcohol was going to be poured recklessly, though he hoped that such a fancy restaurant would never allow it. He tried to stay silent and avoid conversations, focused on eating and excusing his lack of enthusiasm with fatigue. It wasn’t a total lie, Attack on Titan had a productive time recently, working hard on a new album where Jean was going to have more solos. It was interesting how one sickness taught Eren a better lesson than anyone would ever manage to. He learned to step back, rest and take care, and he finally understood he wasn’t irreplaceable. Although unhappy at first, he quickly noticed that the constant spotlight could be tiring and it was nice to give it to someone else from time to time. Jean, on the other hand, found out that being a leader was a really hard work and while Eren was chilling as a support singer, Jean had to be absolutely perfect. It was truly exhausting. He was also driving that night, so he had an excuse to avoid drinking, which had its perks, it lowered the probability of saying something he would later regret saying. But even then he knew something was going to happen, the catastrophe was in the air.

“So, now that Rod Reiss is in jail, you can slow down and rest a little, don’t you think?” Marco’s mother asked her son, but he shook his head.

“No, the hard work starts now. I was the only candidate who could successfully replace Reiss. People believe in me and I can’t fail their expectations” he answered.

“You don’t have to prove anything to them, son” the woman protested.

“On the contrary. I absolutely have to prove they were right to believe in me. They trust in me, I can’t disappoint them.”

“Just don’t put too much pressure on yourself.”

“Don’t worry, I have someone to make sure I won’t overwork myself” Marco smiled at Jean.

“I'm sorry, but if you count on me, forget about it. It’s going to be a busy couple of months” Jean said straightforwardly. “To be honest, if I knew that being a successful musician costs so much work, I would’ve become a full time graphic designer.”

“Don’t even say that. The world should know your talent. You finally have the recognition you’ve dreamed about since you were a kid” Marco pointed out. He was proud of his boyfriend.

“Yeah, and I’d rather stay at home on the couch and watch some dumb movies.”

“That can be arranged.”

“With our schedules? Good luck.”

“Why are you suddenly so pessimistic?” Marco asked, watching him carefully.

“I’m sorry. I’m just stressed. You’re right, I have everything I could have asked for, but I’ve never expected this life to be this hard. If I think about how No Name did that while having full time jobs, it exhausts me already. They’re super humans.”

“Sometimes having what you wanted isn't exactly what you needed” Jean's mom said. “Just remember to take care of yourself.”

“I have to, Historia and Armin would murder me otherwise” Jean chuckled, knowing how serious his friends were about that.

“Well, sometimes what you get is exactly what you needed, you just aren't aware of that” Ash said with a smirk, she was still so proud of herself that she was the reason they got to be together.

“Well, yeah. The song writing process is amazing, and performing on the concerts what we made is very exciting and satisfying. I also enjoy meeting the fans, it's awesome to learn how our music impacts their lives, it makes us know that what we do actually makes sense” Jean said and his face lighted up with happiness. Despite many difficulties he had to face and that hard work he had to put into achieving what he had, he loved his career. And he was almost happy. Almost, because he still had to keep a secret of his relationship with a man he loved.

“Too bad you didn't get this girl you liked” his mother said suddenly and Jean tensed and paled. “Then you could say you had absolutely everything. What was her name? Mikasa?”

“It was a long time ago. We're just friends now and we're happy about that” he said dryly. Marco put his hand on Jean's thigh under the table to comfort him at least a little.

“Well, that's a very good point. When are you going to get a girlfriend? I'd like to meet her before I grow old” Jean's father commented. Jean took his boyfriend's hand and squeezed it tight, seeking for more comfort.

“I'd rather not discuss my relationship status” he answered, putting a lot of effort into staying calm and getting to the top of diplomacy.

“So you do have a relationship?”

“Maybe.”

“Yes of no” the man demanded and Jean sighed, not looking at him.

“Yes” he said quietly.

“Why didn't you say anything?”

“Because I wanted to avoid your nosy questions. I'll talk to you about it when I'm ready.”

“Oh, come on. You're our son, you can tell us anything” the man said and Jean knew he going to regret it before he even thought about it.

“I highly doubt that. You would never understand.”

“Try me.”

A challenge. The worst thing that could be done to a hot headed person like Jean was. A recipe for disaster, he couldn't stop, because the words left his mouth before he could even think about not doing that.

“I have a boyfriend.”

The silence that fell after he said these words was deafening. Jean felt sick because of the nerves and stress. He did it again, he acted without thinking and he was in trouble again.

“You... what?”

“I knew it was a bad idea” Jean stood rapidly and ran away before anyone could stop him. He needed air, he needed to be alone. And he couldn't face the consequences of his words, not yet.

The silence at the table lasted for a long moment before it was broken by Ash.

“You're not going after him?” she asked, looking at her brother.

“He needs a moment for himself. I had plenty opportunities to learn when it's better to leave him alone” Marco said calmly.

“That was... unexpected. But why did he think so low of us?” Jean's mother asked quietly, still shocked by her son's outburst. “Why he was so afraid of telling the truth?

“He was afraid you wouldn't understand” Marco sighed. “I've told him multiple times that he had nothing to worry about, but you know Jean. He can be really stubborn sometimes. And if he's sure about something, it's hard to convince him otherwise.”

“Well, technically he's not wrong. I don't understand that” Jean's father spoke, he wasn't really sure what to think about it. “But it doesn't mean I'm not going to accept him, I'm not a monster. I just need some time to process that, it's something I've never expected” he sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. Suddenly his wife stood up. “Where are you going?”

“I need to find Jean” she answered and followed the same way her son did.

“Well, it's never an easy thing to accept at first” Marco's father spoke. “But our children's happiness is the most important thing in the world and such small details don't matter anymore, when you think about the big picture. They're happy with their partners, they know what's important in lives and they're dating really amazing people. Who cares they're the same gender?”

“Besides it's often hard for themselves to accept who they are. We can't burden them with our insecurities. We need to support them” Marco's mother added.

“Jean struggled for years before he finally understood he didn't have to be ashamed of himself. Being bisexual is cool, I'm not complaining at all. It's having more options, and the more the better” Ash half joked, smiling wide.

“Easy for you to say, you've been bold and open about it all your life” Marco pointed out. His younger sister only shrugged.

“It's not my fault you were a coward who couldn't confess to his crush. I did it quickly and I have a wonderful girlfriend. And you literally needed a punch in the face to stop being afraid.”

“Can you not bring that back?”

“That's too funny.”

“It's not.”

“It wasn't back then, but now it is. Let me have my little sister moment and laugh at my oh-so-perfect big brother who failed a simple task.”

“I hate you.”

“I was helping you for years, time for payback.”

“Do you really have to act like children?” the siblings' father asked with annoyance.

“Speaking of children, I should probably look for mine” Jean's father said.

“He'll be back soon. He always comes back, don't worry” Marco assured him.

“You think so?”

“Sir, you should probably know that I am the one your son is dating. So if I say I know something, please, trust me, that I know” he explained. Suddenly he felt really stressed and nervous. What if he made a mistake? What if Jean would like to say it himself? What if that was too much for Mr. Kirschtein? But the man just hummed, thinking deeply.

“Makes sense. Though I would expect him to date some jerk who would break his heart. It's good that at least he has a sensible and kind partner.”

“Umm... Thank you?”

“I think I can get used to it. You were almost like family anyway.”

“Okay, but don't say that to me. Say it to Jean. With all respect, I couldn't care less if you like me or not. I'm used to people hating me, either for a reason or not. But your acceptance is very important for Jean and I want him to be happy. So I appreciate your approval, sir, but it means nothing if you won't say it again in front of Jean” Marco said and for a moment he thought maybe he crossed the line. But Jean's father only nodded.

“You're right. I have to do it as soon as he's back.”

Meanwhile outside the restaurant, Jean was going through a panic attack, nervous breakdown and all stages of grief at once. He knew it was bad, he should have been quiet, or he should have never even moved from home. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down, but he couldn't, despite many attempts. Nothing worked. Suddenly he had heard someone's footsteps and he turned around to avoid looking them in the face.

“Are you alright, sweetheart?” his mother asked, coming closer.

“Leave me alone” he growled. The woman didn't listen, instead she came closer and put her hand on his back.

“Remember how you were a child and you saw a thunderstorm for the first time? You didn't want to let go of me for hours. You were so paranoid that the storm would come inside and ruin our home” she chuckled softly, caressing his back.

“What does it have to do with anything?” Jean asked annoyed, but he didn't push his mother away.

“Just like then, all your fears are imagined. Jean, you know you sometimes are too focused on something and you have difficulties with seeing things which disagree with a certain mindset that you have. Although you have changed and matured enough, sometimes you still adapt that approach. Usually when you doubt something good may happen to you” she said with a soft, soothing voice that she would always use to calm him down when he was a child. He said nothing, just stood there with his hands in pockets, staring in the space. “I know it's hard for you, but don't waste your time on fears. You could risk so much to pursue your career, but not to admit who you are?”

“It's not that simple. No one hates me just for being an artist” he sighed. “Especially not people I care about.”

“No one hates you. To be honest, I even expected that.”

“You did?” Jean looked at his mother, surprised by her words.

“I had my suspicions. When you came home after that fight with Marco, I thought you were too heartbroken for a casual fight with a friend” she said with a smile.

“Wow... You knew I'm in love with him long before I was willing to admit it myself” he smiled softly.

“Mother knows best” the woman chuckled and took her hand away.

“Are you disappointed? Are you...” he hesitated for a moment “...are you going to stop loving me?”

“I could never stop loving you. You're my son. No matter what happens, you will always be my Jean-bo” she said, pulling her son in a hug. It was quite difficult, he was much taller than her after all, but Jean didn't protest, on a contrary, he happily accepted the embrace.

“Thank you, mom. It means a lot to me” he smiled and closed his eyes, breathing with relief.

“I'm sure your father would tell you the same thing” his mother assured him. Jean sighed with anxiety.

“I hope it's true.”

“Let's go back and find out, shall we?”

Jean hesitantly let go of his mom and nodded. He really hoped she was right, he didn't ask for much, just acceptance. Just a bit of understanding, that would be enough. His father didn't have to like or approve of his life, just if he wouldn't hate, that would be fine. He hesitantly followed his mother back to the restaurant.

“I told you he'll be back” Marco smiled at Jean's father. “Are you okay?” he asked with concern, looking at his boyfriend.

“I'll be fine, don't worry.”

“You know I worry exactly when you say that.”

“I mean it, Marco. There's nothing to worry about, I promise. It just... it was a very intense evening and I thought it was going to look differently. I'm sorry I've ruined your celebration.”

“Jean, you didn't ruin anything. I just wanted you to have a good time and I'm sad that you didn't. I love you so much and it breaks my heart to see you suffer” Marco confessed and Jean opened his mouth to say something, but he suddenly realized something.

“Are you tipsy?” he asked, watching suspiciously at his partner.

“Maybe.”

“Then stop talking, please. I don't want you to accidentally overshare something you wouldn't want to leak.”

“Well, there is something we would like to hear, right, Mr. Kirschtein?” Marco asked, looking at Jean's father and Jean felt his mouth go dry. He was anxious and scared what possibly his father could say.

“Yeah. I have to tell you something important. I might not understand or approve of your decisions, Jean. To be honest, I've never wanted you to be who you are now. I wanted you to have a stable, well-paid job, maybe as an engineer or a lawyer, meet a nice girl, marry her and have a family. But you're nothing like that. You didn't fulfill any of my expectations” he started, and Jean felt more sick with every word. “You've found your own path” the man said, changing his narrative. “You worked hard to be a successful artist, despite my discouragement. You're dating one of the kindest and best men I've ever met, and I'm so proud of you, my son. Your life isn't what I wanted it to be, but it's what you wanted it to be and I can see that you're so happy. And I just wanted to say that I might not understand you, but I love you and I'll do my best to be supportive” the man confessed and Jean just stared at him with tears in his eyes, deeply moved by his words.

“Wow, dad, I... I don't know what to say. I was so scared you might hate me for who I am... Thanks. I needed to hear this” he said, still a little shocked.

“See? I told you there's nothing to worry about” Marco nudged his boyfriend's shoulder with his, lips curved in a smug smirk.

“Oh shut up” Jean said and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. He didn't like Marco's smug face, he looked so hot with it, and Jean didn't want to think what they would do if they were alone. Especially when his parents were around. That was definitely something that could wait.

“Aww, you're so cute” Ash smiled with satisfaction, she looked a lot like her brother.

“Not you too. Stop being so smug” Jean rolled his eyes.

“Oh, excuse me, I only made you two morons finally confess your feelings. You owe me.”

“We don't owe you anything.”

“You do and I have the full right to be smug. If it wasn't for me, you would've still lived in denial and my brother would've still be a coward and you both would rather lose each other than admit you were in love. So show me some respect, because I was the one who pushed you to make the right decision” she said angrily. Jean looked at his boyfriend, seeking for help.

“What, she's not wrong, you know that” Marco shrugged with an innocent expression. “Without her we wouldn't make any move, that's a fact.”

“Thank you, dear brother. At least one of you is smart enough to finally recognize my merit.”

“You love to be annoying, don't you?” Jean sighed, done with her.

“Well, that's what younger sisters are for” Ashley shrugged. “Better start getting used to it.”

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #my fic #jeanmarco #jean kirschtein #marco bodt

[angel-tries-to-write]

Emergency

Fandom: Gravity Falls Rating: Teen and up Pairing: none Word count: 2522 Genre: family fluff

Being a young woman in a house full of dorky men can be surprising sometimes. Alternate title: Mabel vs. puberty.

A/N: I wrote this fic nearly a year ago, but I’ve always had other stuff to post first. Well, late is better than never.

It was good to be back in Gravity Falls. A lot has changed for the past year, but what was the most important, they could finally count on a calm, uneventful summer, which was actually a lot to ask for, especially having in mind the horrors of last time they were there. Also this time, Pines twins were actually thrilled to go to Oregon, unlike the previous year. And there were actually people who were waiting for them. Mabel literally jumped out of the bus as soon as it stopped, only to be caught by her beloved great-uncle Stan, then she hugged her other great-uncle Ford, and once the family was greeted properly, she squeezed the air out of Candy and Grenda. Behind her, Dipper tried to manage their bags and Waddles, who has grown up either. Luckily for the boy, Wendy was there to give him a hand and switch hats again. Despite not being a big fan of hugs, he also received his part of affection from both grunkles, then Soos, once they all came to Mystery Shack.

The first week was amazing, the young twins had to catch up with everything that had happened since their departure, but it was a pure joy. Everything was very exciting, they were delighted to visit old friends. Although after the emotions slowed down, bad memories came to the picture as well. They also started to notice small things indicating that everyone was dealing with it too. One day Mabel caught Stan staring at his napping brother as if he wanted to make sure he wouldn't disappear. When she mentioned that to Dipper, he told her that he noticed how Ford tensed and even flinched whenever he had heard any louder buzz of electricity, as if he was scared. Dipper himself would sometimes just stare through the window in the middle of the night, suffering from insomnia. And Mabel was having nightmares.

One night it was a particularly nasty one. Everything was dark and she was in a place she couldn't recognize at first. It took a moment for her to see the shapes of trees surrounding her, they were twisted and scary. A few steps away there was a weird pile of something that looked like a ruined house. After a while, she realized it was Mystery Shack. Mabel tried to run there, but the distance seemed to stay the same. Finally she managed to get closer, but she regretted it immediately. The two weird objects lying in front of her, turned out to be bodies. And not just any bodies, they belonged to her grunkles. She looked around in panic and noticed that the ruin of Mystery Shack was surrounded by dead bodies. She could recognize Grenda's big shape and Candy's broken glasses, and the more she looked, the more she could identify. Suddenly she heard a laugh behind her. She didn't even have to turn around to know who it was, yet she did it, just to look into the beast's eye. Unfortunately, Bill had something prepared for her. Once she faced him, he threw another body at her feet. It was heavily beaten up and injured, but she couldn't not recognize Dipper. It was when she started to scream. Bill laughed harder, took a swing and stabbed her right through the stomach. She felt lots of blood and throbbing pain that was very real, but couldn't be compared with the pain of losing her family.

She woke up screaming, only briefly realizing there was someone next to her saying something. Then they hugged her and as she sobbed into their shoulder, she realized it was Dipper. Her beloved twin brother was alive and well, and he tried to calm her down. It was morning already and she was in their room in Mystery Shack.

“Shhh, it's okay, it was just a dream” he murmured, stroking her hair.

“Dipper! I... You... Everyone died!” she cried out.

“It was just a nightmare. I'm fine, see?” he pulled away, letting her look at him.

“But it was Bill! He came back again and he killed all of us! He killed me too!” she argued, the memories of the dream were too fresh and terrifying. Then she realized that the pain was real. And if it was real, maybe everything else was real too.

“Mabel, he's gone and he won't come back” Dipper tried to talk sense to his sister, but she seemed to not fully understand that. She pulled the blanket off to check the wound and she screamed so loud, that her twin had to cover his ears. Her legs, pajamas, bedsheet, everything was covered in blood. Dipper stared in horror, but then he heard the door being opened and turned around to see Stan with brass knuckles and Ford with his gun, storming into the room.

“What is it?! Where's the danger?!” Stan yelled, ready to punch anything that moves.

“There's no danger, Mabel just had a nightmare, but something is wrong, there's blood everywhere” Dipper answered, visibly upset about the situation.

“It was Bill! He came back and killed everyone! He stabbed me and now I'm bleeding!” Mabel sobbed with panic. Her great-uncles looked at her, trying to make sense. Suddenly Stanford realized what actually happened.

“It's impossible. Bill is gone. Besides, we're all alive” he approached the girl's bed and took her small hands in his big and six fingered. “Mabel, listen to me” he said calmly, looking into her frightened eyes. “I promise Bill is never coming back. Never.”

“B-but it was so real! And why there's blood?” she asked, still not convinced.

“It seems like you just, well, you know, menstruate.”

Mabel's eyes widened and her jaw dropped in shock. She immediately stopped crying, finally realizing that her dream was in fact just a dream and she was not going to die.

“I... what? Really? It's just a period?”

“You're growing up, sweetie. Besides, it's the only logical explanation. As I said, Bill is gone forever.”

She looked at her grunkle seeking for a final confirmation, his calm eyes and reassuring smile slowly soothed her fears and convinced her that everything would be okay. She wiped her tears and laughed with relief.

“Oh wow... I clearly didn't expect that” she smiled. “Thank you, guys.”

“There's nothing to thank for.”

“No, grunkle Ford, there is. You really made me feel better. And thanks for not laughing at me or something” she looked down with a slight embarrassment.

“Are you kidding me? Our little girl is growing up, we have to celebrate that!” Stanley exclaimed with pride and ruffled the his great-niece's hair. “I'll go make something special for breakfast.”

“Come on, get up. We have some washing to do and I can show you some tricks to remove blood stains” Ford offered and that made Mabel realize something.

“Wait. I need pads. Or maybe tampons. I don't know. But I can't just go and bleed on everything.”

It was when Dipper realized everyone was looking at him.

“Why me?”

“Someone has to do that and I'm going to make a breakfast” Stan answered.

“And I have some washing to do” Ford pointed at the bed. “Also I doubt any of us would be useful in that matter. We're not really experts when it comes to women” the man admitted and rubbed his neck.

“Dipper, please” Mabel looked at her twin with puppy eyes. “You're the only person who can help me. Besides, how difficult can it be to find some pads?”

“Okay, okay, I'll go” he sighed and headed downstairs.

“Hey, what's with that face?” the boy jumped startled, hearing a voice unexpectedly.

“Wendy! I didn't know you're here already!” he screamed feeling his heart rate speed up.

“Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. So? What's wrong?” the red haired girl smiled.

“Mabel is on her period and I have to go and buy some stuff, but I have no idea what exactly. Wait a moment... You're a girl, right? You can help me!” he realized suddenly.

“Dipper, I... Okay, fine. C'mon” she pulled out the car key out of her pocket. “Soos, I gotta go for a while!” she yelled and left before there was any answer. Dipper followed her, but stopped when he saw her getting in the car.

“Uhh... are you sure...?”

“It's okay, I made it” Wendy showed him her brand new driving license. “I actually got it in a week before your arrival. I was quite desperate to be able to drive by then.”

“Congratulations, but it doesn't make me feel better.”

“Grumpy as usual. Hold onto something!” she warned him and rapidly moved. They were in the store in no time, but Dipper really thought Wendy's driving techniques could be more cautious. Up until then he also thought that his little quest wasn't something he should be scared of. But once they enter the store, found the right aisle and he saw the amount of things to choose between, his legs wobbled and his jaw dropped.

“Okay, it's way more complicated than it seemed” Dipper said, looking at lots of pads, tampons, panty liners and all the other things he never thought he would need to know about. He looked at his friend, but she was nowhere to be seen. “Wendy?” he looked around and spotted her near the sweets. As far as he knew, chocolate was also helpful, so good thinking. But that meant he was on his own until she's back. “Alright, Dipper, you've got this” he muttered to himself and tried to make sense of all of the boxes. He took something and attempted to read the instructions.

“Dipper?” suddenly someone spoke, resulting him dropping the box.

“Candy!” he turned around and faced one of Mabel's besties and he could feel his face getting suddenly hotter.

“What would you look for among feminine hygiene products?” she asked with a slight disbelief.

“It's not what you think...”

“So you're not buying anything for your sister?” she asked and Dipper just stared at her dumbfounded.

“Okay, it seems it's exactly what you think” he admitted.

“Wait, does that mean that Mabel has got her first period?” Candy adjusted her glasses and looked at the boy with shining eyes.

“Yes, she has. Can you help me with this?”

“Oh, sorry, I still haven't had mine, she's first. I don't think I'll help much.”

“You're a girl, you have to know something I don't!” Dipper looked at her desperately.

“Well, all I know that various types of products meet various needs. Like, these drops indicate that these pads are very absorbent, so they're good for heavy bleeding. But I have no idea what heavy bleeding is.”

“Wow, that's a useful information. I feel a little less lost.”

“You're welcome.”

Meanwhile Wendy came back with a few bars of chocolate, a few packs of jelly beans, a box of ice cream, a few bags of chips and a cotton candy.

“How's it going? Hiya, Candy.”

“Hey, Wendy, see you in the Shack! I have to go, get Grenda to go to Mabel to celebrate!” she waved and quickly went to finish her shopping.

“Uhh, do we really need all of these?” Dipper asked hesitantly, looking at the amount of sweets Wendy had.

“Trust me, we do. Okay, but we still don't have the most important thing. So, all you have to do is to think. Mabel is very active, right? So tampons will be a better choice. Now, it's her first time, so the smallest will be enough. And she can start with those with applicators, they're easier to learn. Let's take these” she found and grabbed the right box, then tossed it to Dipper, who stared at her very impressed.

“You make it look so easy.”

“I've been dealing with this for a couple of years by now, I have a lot of experience” she shrugged and headed to the cash desk.

Meanwhile in the Shack, Mabel was really grateful for not being the only female in this house. Thanks to Melody, who gave her a pad, she could get dressed and at least try to look like nothing happened. Her stomach was still aching and she completely lacked energy. Although her grunkles tried their best to help, they weren't really successful. She decided to just sit in the kitchen and wait for Dipper and Wendy come back. But even when they finally did, she hadn't felt much better.

“Hey, Mabel, we got you something! A lot of somethings, actually” her twin announced and Wendy placed all the sweets in front of her.

“Thanks, guys” she said with no enthusiasm or happiness.

“What's wrong, sis?” Dipper was very concerned about his sister.

“I don't know. I just feel... ugh” she answered, not really sure how to explain it.

“Hormones. That's completely normal. It may change soon” Wendy assured her and handed her a box of tampons. “Here. They're nice and comfortable, you'll nearly forget you're on your period. Just read carefully the instructions inside, that really helps. Oh, and we've met Candy, she's going to get Grenda and come here to celebrate. If you had any questions, you know where I am” she said and left the twins.

“You're too sweet for me, guys. All of you” Mabel looked at the sweets, then at her brother and her eyes became glossy with upcoming tears. “And you're the best twin ever.”

“It's okay, if I needed help, you would do anything for me” Dipper smiled, then yelped as his sister pulled him in a hug.

“I love you” she sobbed, hugging him and crying.

“I love you too” he stroke her hair, not really knowing what to do.

“What's going on here? Ooh, nice” grunkle Stan entered the room and reached for the chocolate bar.

“That's for Mabel! Wendy said it will help her!” Dipper scolded him and his sister pulled away from their hug.

“It's okay, I can share” she wiped her tears and smiled. “That's so stupid, I'm crying because you did something nice for me” she sniffled, chuckling softly.

“Don't worry, I want to cry every time Ford does something nice for me too” Stan opened the chocolate and took a bite. “But don't you dare to tell him that.”

“Oh, I already know it, Stanley” Ford spoke suddenly, unintentionally scaring everyone. Sometimes he could be extremely sneaky, even more than his brother. “Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.”

“Then maybe stop sneaking up on us!” Stan yelled, trying to hide his embarrassment.

“I'm not sneaking up on anyone, it's not my fault you have bad hearing.”

“Please, don't fight!” Mabel burst out and both grunkles looked at her in shock. “Hug it out!” she commanded, but she didn't expect their reaction. Both men exchanged a knowing look before they attacked their great-niece with a group hug. After a moment, Dipper joined them and despite a rather shocking and bad beginning of the day, Mabel knew she had the best family she could ever ask for and that with them, she could overcome anything. Even (or especially) growing up.

#my fic #gravity falls #dipper pines #mabel pines #stan pines #stanley pines #ford pines #stanford pines #wendy corduroy

[angel-tries-to-write]

Maybe this was a bad idea

Fandom: Assassin’s Creed Rating: Mature Pairing: Ezio Auditore x reader Word count: 564 Genre: angst

The Templars had a plan, but yours was better. At least in your head. Well, it's all for the creed, isn't it?

If you received ten florins every time you thought "this was supposed to be an easy mission", you would be awfully rich. Because everything was trying to prove you that killing the target was not going to happen.

You froze, feeling a cold blade touching your throat. Your left arm was blocked painfully, but you didn't dare to try to free yourself. You looked at Ezio, warning him with an intense gaze to not do anything stupid.

“So, assassino, what will you choose? Will you give me what I want or do I have to help you decide” the man behind you pressed his knife to your skin. That situation didn't look good.

“Let them go!” shouted Ezio and you knew he was furious. “And maybe then I will spare your life!”

“You are not in the position to threaten us” answered the Templar. You quickly calculated the risks, it was predictable that Auditore will do anything to save you.

“But I am” you spoke, pulling out one of your throwing knives, because that was the only thing you could reach. “You will never get the Piece of Eden. Ever” you growled. Then you did something no one expected: you stabbed yourself. You heard your lover scream, the templar was so surprised he let you go and you fell to the ground like a ragdoll. Your stomach hurt like hell and you were bleeding, but you were pretty sure you wouldn't die. You and Leonardo were studying anatomy for long enough to know where you should stab to minimize the risk of death.

“No, (y/n), you can't leave me” you heard the assassin, when you got used to the pain enough to realize what was going on around you.

“I am not” you grunted. “Yet. You have to hurry and patch me up” you ordered. The pain was so strong you were unable to walk. “Finish them and take me to the doctor. Go!” you growled, pushing him in the chest.

“I can not leave you” he protested, but you hit him quite hard. Your time was getting short, he had to be quick, before you would bleed out.

“Go!” you snapped angrily, clutching onto your wounded side. Ezio finally moved to chase the Templars. You cursed under your breath, realizing your mistake. You most probably didn't hurt any vital organs, but you used too much force. The wound was deep and bled faster than you thought it would. If Ezio wouldn't come back fast enough, it might end up very bad.

You had no idea how much time has passed before Ezio came back to you. The loss of blood made you feel dizzy, your head and eyelids suddenly seemed extremely heavy, every sound was muffled and your vision was blurry. It felt almost like you were out of your body, which started to relax, as you were slowly losing your consciousness. You were cold and for a brief moment you wondered if this was how dying felt like.

Suddenly you felt someone shaking you, but you were too tired to react. Your eyes were almost closed, so you couldn't see much. All you knew was that someone lifted you up and was carrying you somewhere, but you could only hope that it was Ezio and that he carried you to the doctor. Finally it all stopped to have any meaning as the darkness consumed you.

#assassin's creed #ezio auditore #ezio auditore x reader #my fic

[angel-tries-to-write]

A journey to happiness

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan Rating: Teen and up Pairing: Moblit Berner x Jaxx, background Levi Ackerman x Hanji Zoë Word count: 4008 Genre: fluff

It was supposed to be a gift for my friend Jaxx @theythemdumbbitch but I didn’t manage to finish it for Christmas due to being busy with studying, working and writing Levihan Christmas Drabble Countdown. I’m sorry Jaxx, I hope you’re happy with what I managed to write. I’m sorry if I wrote something too sensitive, I aimed for realism. Love you 💖

If someone told you a few years ago that you were going to have the most dangerous work and that you were going to love it, you would have laughed at them. A few years ago, just after graduating almost on top of the class — which you weren't expecting, but apparently your hard work paid off — you chose the Military Police, as it was having the highest survival rate. It was safe and quite prestigious, and you didn't think you were the heroic type. You knew you didn't have guts to join Survey Corps and actually fight for freedom, even though it felt like something you would like to do. You would love to actually do something useful for humanity, but you were too scared. Until it all changed. You had a late night patrol, when you've heard a noise in the alley. You decided against alerting your duty partners, they were jerks anyway, so you swallowed the fear and sneaked up to the source of the noise. You saw five people who tried really hard to act quietly, but it was very difficult, since they were drunk. They were wearing Survey Corps uniforms. You could arrest them. You could report them easily, but you just stood there unbothered, watching them.

“Come on, Hanji, move” the short black haired man grunted, trying to put his friend on their feet. Hanji? Could this be Hanji Zoë, one of the most brilliant scientists in the military? You've heard a lot about them, you were a big fan of them. But that would mean that the man who was dragging them behind him was Levi Ackerman, humanity strongest? You were so excited that you couldn't catch a breath, but no wonder. Not every day you would meet the best soldiers in the world.

“I can't, the world is spinning too much” Hanji giggled, leaning heavily on Levi.

“I told you to stop drinking” he fussed, but kept trying to make them walk. “It's all your fault” he turned his head angrily to the tall blond man who walked slightly behind them, carrying a blonde woman who seemed to be sleeping.

“My fault?” the man in question asked. “I didn't tell them anything. It's not my fault they forgot I can drink way more than them.”

“But if you weren't encouraging them...”

“Oh, excuse me, I didn't know I was supposed to babysit Hanji for today. I thought I was going to party with my friends.”

“Guys, don't fight” the blonde woman spoke quietly, you could barely hear her.

“We're not fighting.”

“I know when you're angry, Miche” she opened her eyes and looked at the man who was carrying her. “Just leave it, you know Levi is too stubborn, especially when he's drunk.”

“Alright” Miche sighed. Was it Miche Zacharias, second humanity strongest? You were so lucky that night.

“Thank you” the woman kissed his cheek and snuggled comfortably against his chest.

“Moblit, can you help me?” Levi asked with irritation. The man called Moblit only looked at him with an unbothered face that was lacking any expression.

“Nah, you're fine” he said nonchalantly. “Sorry Captain, but for tonight the Squad Leader Hanji is your problem, not mine.”

You opened your mouth in shock. That was so badass. This man spoke so boldly to humanity strongest! He feared nothing, he saw no god up there other than him. Wow. You've never been more impressed in your entire life. This man, Moblit, he deserved the world for his bravery and boldness.

Eventually you had realized that you couldn't just stand there and watch, you had to do something, either report them, or leave them be and pretend you saw nothing. However, there was another option.

“Excuse me” you spoke up, approaching them with a new-found courage. “Hi, I'm Jaxx and I'd like to ask if you need any help, because if the Military Police catches you, they will certainly report it and you'll be in trouble. So I recommend getting moving” you said. Levi Ackerman looked at you carefully with a judging expression. You started to sweat with anxiety under this scrutinizing look.

“And how are we supposed to know that you won't report us?” he asked.

“Because I've just decided to quit my job and join Survey Corps” you blurted out without thinking much. “Military Police is boring, I want to do the real job and real fighting.”

“Perfect, another recruit!” Hanji yelled a little too loud. “Ask for Squad Hanji, I'll welcome you with open arms” they smiled at you before Levi pulled them hard in the right direction.

And so you did. You managed to cover them and avoid the prying eyes of your co-workers, and the very next morning you applied for a transfer to the Survey Corps. Your commander expressed his regret that such a good soldier was leaving them, but you knew you were doing the right thing. And a few days later you were a member of Squad Hanji. When you received your uniform with Wings of Freedom, you felt like the actual wings were growing out of your back. You felt powerful, confident, and for once in control of your life. Finally something was going just fine, you were assigned to assist Hanji Zoë in their research, so you could spend more time with them.

As well as with the executive officer Moblit Berner.

It took a while, but you realized eventually that this man was something more than you first thought. He seemed boring and bland, but you quickly figured out it was just a façade. He was incredibly smart, strong and always in control. He always knew what to do or say. He was perfect. You've caught yourself staring at him secretly, especially when you were supposed to work. But could anyone blame you? He was the embodiment of your biggest dreams and if you could ever date a man, then only this.

Of course, being a part of Survey Corps was not a bed of roses, but a hard work itself, way harder than this boring stuff you had to do in Military Police, but you weren't complaining. For the first time you felt like you were going to do something important, something that had its purpose, and was actually useful to improve the current situation of humanity. So you were doing everything you were commanded to do with no slight complain. You would do anything for Hanji and Moblit, they were the best supervisors you could ever ask for. They were really smart, but also very kind. Not to mention they were also pretty hot and you could simply stare at them for hours. And since you were always willing to listen to Hanji's endless lectures about their newest research, they absolutely adored you. There were some moments when you've had enough though, then you were looking at Moblit, who was even more bored and less interested in all the rambling, so you tried to cheer him up with funny faces. It quickly became a competition, to make the funniest face and stay unseen by Hanji, who was so absorbed by their research that they weren't paying attention to anything else, unless it was really obvious. It quickly became clear that not only these long lectures were the moments in which you could have fun. Moblit could be quite a funny guy when he wasn't busy babysitting Hanji. You've found out it was a real pleasure to talk to him and if the circumstances were different, you definitely would like to get closer to him.

Unfortunately, living peacefully within the Walls and doing research wasn’t the only thing you were experiencing. The situations in which you were exposed to danger were also happening. In Military Police you hadn’t seen much titans, while in Survey Corps it was an everyday thing. You weren’t the bravest person, the first fight you had spent hiding in fear, crying in guilt and shame, that your comrades were fearlessly going to fight, offering their hearts for humanity. Moblit and Hanji took good care of you, talking about their beginnings and giving you tips on how to control your fear. They made you feel valid, that it was okay to be afraid and that you did nothing wrong. Their advice and warm attitude gave you the strength and bravery you needed to fight and soon you were able to prove you didn’t graduate almost on top of the class for nothing. You were fast, agile, focused on your task and good at doing the simple commands. Interactions with other people were difficult for you, but once the battle was starting and they didn’t expect you to know things they never told you or look for deeper meanings of their words, you were the happiest person in the whole military. Short, precise commands were something you adored.

But sometimes it wasn’t enough. Sometimes you were so focused on what you were doing that you would become hyper focused. And this state was as impressive as it was dangerous, because you were able to ignore literally everything. Even such a thing as a titan charging on you with its full force. You saw it the very last moment, before it bit your head off, you miraculously managed to dodge and suddenly you felt someone pull you hard and slam your body against a wall in a dark alley. Your mouth was covered to prevent you from screaming and before you could make a noise, you saw that the mysterious attacker was Moblit himself. He covered you with his body in a protective action, you swallowed hard, feeling his strong muscles under your hands. He was observing the surroundings and listened if the titans were going to seek for you or not, so he was completely oblivious to your reactions of this sudden closeness. And it was quite obvious, you felt like you could stay in his arms forever and when he let you go, you nearly made a fool of yourself by thanking him for slamming you against a wall. In the very last moment you managed to say “rescue”. He smiled and told you to be careful, because he didn’t want anything bad to happen to you.

He. Not them. Not Survey Corps, not Erwin, not Hanji, him. He didn’t want to see you hurt. At first you thought it was just your overthinking and that you were imagining things which weren’t there. You didn’t feel at all like someone who could draw this man’s attention, but apparently this was exactly what had happened. You started to notice he loved to spend time with you, that he was always very helpful and protective, but mostly that he was always smiling whenever he would see you. Maybe he was just friendly…

…or maybe your feelings weren’t one-sided.

Because much to your despair, you fell in love with this man, you fell hard and it didn’t look like it was ever going to stop. His passion and dedication, his personality and appearance, all the littlest things were making you crazy in love and you wished so hard that fraternization rules didn’t exist, because all you wanted to do was to kiss and cuddle with Moblit, your beloved. One time, a half of this wish had happened. The battle was nasty and dangerous. You had lost a few soldiers, many of them were injured, including you. It wasn’t anything serious, but you were separated with your squad for nearly all the battle. When you were heading back to the quarters, you spotted your supervisors. Moblit immediately ran to you and hugged you tight, whispering words of relief. And then something unexpected happened: he kissed you. For a brief moment you didn’t know if you were dreaming or not, you could feel the electricity in your body, the fire in your veins and when it had ended you just stared at him with shock. He quickly apologized, explaining he was just relieved to see you alive and relatively fine, and you had no idea what to make of it. You weren’t sure anymore if he was into you, or if he was just friendly, or what it all meant. And one night things got complicated even more.

It was late in the night and you just wanted to take your notebook from Hanji’s lab, you had left it there by accident, but you didn’t even manage to open the door, when you heard moans from the inside. At first you were afraid that there was an accident and someone needed help, but soon you realized that these moans were of a different nature. It was Hanji and someone else. A man. You gasped and stepped back. Hanji had a lover? Against the rules? Not that you judged, but you doubted someone would like to have a secret relationship with such a crazy scientist. At least no one would spend their time with them. No one but… you sighed heavily at the realization and you felt your heart breaking. So Hanji and Moblit were a thing? So much for any love. Of course, Hanji was way more amazing and interesting than you. Maybe they didn’t identify as a traditional gender, they even used they/them pronouns, but they still were at peace with their body.

Unlike you, a trans male.

Your whole body felt absolutely disgusting and strange. It just wasn’t yours. Being in the military helped you to build some muscles, so at least you felt a little more masculine, but that still wasn’t someone you would like to be. Of course no one would fall for you, especially not someone like Moblit. You ran back to your quarters and threw yourself on the bed, trying your best to hide your tears.

The next few days were extremely painful and awkward. You talked to Moblit and Hanji as little as you could and you avoided them at all cost. They tried to talk to you, but you were a pro at avoiding difficult conversations. You were doing your best to forget about your feelings, broken heart, Hanji breaking the rules and all the disappointment. You just wanted to drown yourself in your own misery. But it wasn’t going to happen.

“Jaxx, wait!” you’ve heard Moblit call you and you started to walk faster. But he wasn’t having it, he quickly caught you and once again slammed you against a wall. It was hot, you wouldn’t deny it, but it was also unfair what he was doing to you.

“Let me go” you said, trying to stay calm.

“No. At least not until you tell me what happened. You’ve been avoiding me and Hanji, why?” he asked, looking at you with his big, honest eyes. You sighed, feeling that you couldn’t resist these eyes. They were too precious.

“A few days ago I went to the lab. I just wanted to take my notebook, but I heard something I wasn’t meant to hear” you confessed, averting your eyes.

“What was it?”

“Not what but who. It was Hanji. They were in an intimate situation with someone” you answered. Moblit’s expression changed from worried to panicked.

“A-are you sure?” he asked, looking around.

“Positive. It was unmistakable.”

“Damn it” he cursed and you did your best to ignore the fluttering of your heart. The way his voice sounded when he swore was truly delightful. “Alright, please, promise me you won’t tell anyone.”

“Why would I?”

“Look, this is serious. I don’t know what you think about it, but if people start to gossip, Hanji will be in huge trouble and I’ll be dead. Promise me you won’t say a word.”

“Why?”

“Just promise. Please, Jaxx, I’ve never asked you to do anything more than I do now” he begged and his face was so desperate that you once again couldn’t resist.

“Alright. I promise” you gave in.

“Thank you” he exhaled with relief. “Captain Levi would murder me.”

“What does he have to do with that?” you asked with confusion.

“Uhh… nevermind. So now we can talk about what’s bothering you” he tried to change the topic.

“Exactly this” you said, the pain was clear in your voice. “But it’s none of my business. You can sleep with anyone as long as you’re happy. Now excuse me, I have my duties” you nearly ran away, leaving confused Moblit behind. You didn’t understand his reaction, what was so difficult to understand with that? There was a slight regret that you didn’t confess your feelings when you had a chance, but you knew it wouldn’t be good. He was happy with someone he loved and because you loved him, you wished him all the happiness. Even when it hurt like hell.

You could swear you were cursed or something. Because when a few days later you were bringing the books Hanji asked for, you accidentally overheard a conversation. At first you didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but it just happened.

“So, Moblit. What’s on your mind lately?” Hanji asked with a lighthearted voice.

“Not what but who” Moblit answered with a sigh.

“If it’s the person I think about then I must admit I’m worried too. He doesn’t want to talk to us almost at all. Do you perhaps know why?” they said with concern, but that last question was somewhat hopeful and curious.

“I don’t know for sure. I tried to talk to him and he said he had heard you one night in the lab” he explained. You couldn’t see Hanji’s reaction, but you could swear they paled, it was clearly heard in their voice.

“I assume I wasn’t doing the experiments…”

“No, Hanji. You were breaking the rules” Moblit rebuked them, for the first time you remembered he talked to them straightforwardly, omitting their rank. “He said he had heard you with a man. He doesn’t know who it was, but I think he assumed it was me…”

“Levi must never know about it. He would kill us all” Hanji said with fear in their voice.

“That’s what I told Jaxx. He asked why I suddenly mentioned Captain Levi, but I managed to avoid that question. But I made him promise he wouldn’t tell what he knew.”

“Good idea. The last thing I need is people gossiping about me. They would connect the dots like Jaxx did and assume it’s you I’m seeing. Or worse, they would find out the truth” Hanji sighed. The truth? Did that mean they weren’t a thing?

“I think Jaxx is mad at me” Moblit said quietly and you barely caught his voice.

“I’m not surprised. He thinks we have a secret affair.”

“How am I supposed to convince him we don’t?”

“Why would you want to convince him?” Hanji asked and there was a moment of silence. “Ohhh, I see” they said and a big, shit-eating grin was clear in their voice. “He’s clearly someone special.”

“I.. I don’t know w-what you’re talking about” Moblit protested and you had to admit it was pretty adorable to hear him so flustered.

“Oh, really? You don’t? Then why else would you want to convince him we’re not a thing, huh?”

“Because it’s true! We’re not a thing!”

“Then tell him that.”

“He wouldn’t believe it.”

“Why?”

“Because I have no proof! What am I supposed to say? Expose your relationship?”

“Yeah, no, that would be a suicide if Levi found out. The less people know, the better” Hanji said and you could hear them rub their chin. “Maybe just confess to him?”

“Are you out of your mind?! I can’t!” he screamed in panic.

“Moblit, calm down and be a big boy. You have feelings for Jaxx, don’t even try to deny it. I can read people’s feelings very well, don’t forget I’m dating Levi, who is emotionally constipated.”

“Even if I told him we’re not a thing and I confessed my feelings, why would he believe me?”

“Are you blind? I swear, I need glasses and I see way more than you do” Hanji said with disapproval.

“Enlighten me then” Moblit said and you could identify the obvious sarcasm in his voice, even though you usually struggled with it.

“He loves you.”

“He what?! That’s impossible!”

“I’m pretty sure he thinks the same way.”

“How can he love me… He’s so smart and funny, and he fights so well… and he has the biggest heart. I don’t deserve him, I’m just… no one…” he said. It was the moment you decided to intervene before you faint.

“That’s not true” you spoke, opening the door. Moblit jumped at your sudden entrance. “You’re really smart and strong, and passionate, and dedicated, and professional, and so cool that I’d never be like you and I thought you would never want to even look at such a disaster” you blurted out in panic.

“Jaxx? H-how much did you hear?” Moblit was shocked and terrified.

“Everything. I’m sorry I’ve ever doubted you. I guess I’ve just doubted myself in the first place” you confessed, lowering your head. “I mean… I can’t even be who I really am…”

“Gender dysphoria can be a bitch, I know” Hanji spoke with a gentle voice, carefully placing their hands on your shoulder. “But having someone who loves and supports you no matter who you are, is very helpful. I’ve learned that myself, but I’ve heard you know about it.”

“I do, but don’t worry, Hanji-san. Your secret is safe with me” you assured them firmly.

“Thank you. I think I could be able to help you with your problem. I happen to know one surgeon who once offered me an experimental surgery to help me when I had an identity crisis. I didn’t take the offer, I learned to love my body, but I know in your case it’s not a solution” Hanji said and for a moment you briefly forgot about the love of your life. Were they talking about what you thought they were?

“Do you think… he would be able to remove… this?” you asked with hesitation, pointing at your breasts. You hated them and every day you wished you cut them off.

“This and whatever you would like to.”

“Wow… I don’t know what to say… I’ve always thought I’m doomed to live in a body that isn’t mine and pretend I’m someone else. And you not only accepted me, never even once I’ve heard you misgender me, but you’re also offering me a possibility of top surgery I’ve been dreaming about?” you asked, feeling your eyes fill with tears of joy. It was too much good news for one evening. “I don’t know how to thank you…”

“You don’t have to thank me. Just be yourself, be happy, and make my friend happy” Hanji hugged you and smiled, looking at Moblit. “You better make him happy as well. He’s a wonderful man, he doesn’t deserve more suffering” they warned their friend playfully.

“Of course, who do you think I am?” Moblit asked with irritation. “I’m going to do anything to make you happy” he confessed, looking at you.

“Well, you can start with kissing me” you said quietly, suddenly flustered.

“Of course I can” he smiled and fulfilled your wish.

And it was just the beginning of your journey to happiness. You were convinced there was nothing that could possibly make your life better, and suddenly you had a friend who could understand your struggle, you had an amazing boyfriend who was very loving and supportive, even though you had to keep your relationship secret, and finally, a few weeks later, you also had a body you liked more, finally flat chested. It was worth to wait this long for your dreams to come true. Even though your life has been rough and you couldn't believe you might ever be happy. But I believe. I've always believed. And I wish you all the best in your life, because you deserve it so much. Be yourself, Jaxx, because you're amazing.

Love,

Angel

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #my fic #moblit berner #moblit x reader #gift fic

[angel-tries-to-write]

Not so happily ever after

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan Rating: Teen and up Pairing: Miche Zacharias x Nanaba Word count: 2152 Genre: domestic fluff, emotional hurt/comfort

There was time when Nanaba thought that motherhood was rough, but full of love and happiness. That was before postpartum depression ruined her life. Luckily Miche knows what to do.

Nanaba knew that maternity had never been an easy thing to do. Maybe she lacked personal experience, as her own mother wasn't a particularly good example, of a mother, but she had Levi's mom, then her friend Nifa, even Hanji, who knew enough about biology to be helpful. So ever since she had found out she was pregnant, and she and Miche decided to accept that fate, Nana had had a lot of time to get ready for being a mother. In theory, at least, because in reality working two full time jobs was giving a very little opportunities to actually learn about pregnancy and parenthood. Even when she finally could quit her job at the restaurant and became a No Name's manager, her duties were so time consuming, that it was a miracle when she could take some rest. Speaking of mental rest, of course, because physically she was resting a lot, especially in the later stages of her pregnancy, when the baby grew big enough to make walking and sitting uncomfortable. Then there were some complications with her health, which resulted in her having to wait for the childbirth in the hospital due to stress, so only then, when by doctor's order she had to leave all of her work to Erwin, Nana had the time to actually read some parenting books, instead of flipping through them. So when the time had come and she went into a labor, she was more or less prepared.

It turned out it was less, her labor wasn't progressing and an emergency c-section was needed to save the baby's life. That really crushed her. Of course, the most important thing was that their beautiful baby girl — whom they decided to name Flora — was strong and healthy, but being unable to deliver her without the medical intervention was one of the things which really affected Nana's mental health. She felt guilty. She felt like she had failed as a mother and as a woman. She needed two weeks until she could function relatively normally. Relatively, because — as she was told — the full process of recovery during the postpartum period could last approximately six weeks.

What no one told her, however, was that her mental health would drop significantly during that time. It wasn't surprising though, the situation she was placed in wasn't something she was easily able to adapt to. She felt physically terrible, she experienced a lot of pain, because of the wound obviously, but even breastfeeding turned out to be more challenging than she first expected it to be. So she ended up with very sore breasts, heavy with milk, and sensitive, hurting nipples as well. Her whole body in general looked and felt way worse than what she was used to. Stretch marks, loose skin, still big belly that had no intention in becoming flat again and eternal exhaustion were making every glare in the mirror painful and repulsing. Not to mention she was bleeding all the time, because her body was cleaning out after pregnancy, so she felt dirty and uncomfortable all the time.

On top of that — and this was probably the worst thing of all, which made her feel really down — she wasn't miraculously flooded with love for her baby. It was supposed to happen the moment she was given her child, that was was what she had always heard. The love for her baby was supposed to be something that would make her forget all the pain and discomfort of labor. But nothing like that happened, she looked at her baby and she couldn’t feel anything. Of course, she would never want anything bad to happen to her newborn daughter, she didn’t hate her. She was indifferent, empty, it was nothing.

Another thing that was making her feel worse, was seeing Miche, who was totally nailing being a father. He was doing everything, literally, because Nanaba was lying in bed most of the time, unable to do anything. So taking care of baby Flora, taking care of Nanaba and keeping their house relatively functioning was all on Miche. Of course, they weren’t left on their own, their friends were visiting every two or three days, just like a few months prior they were doing the same thing for Moblit and Nifa, and their help was priceless. But also it all was making Nanaba feel worse, because she expected herself to do everything, but in fact she could do nothing, which made her feel like an utter disappointment.

When she finally felt good enough to get out of bed and function relatively normally, she felt only slightly better and only a little less guilty that Miche didn’t have to do everything on his own. She knew he didn’t feel particularly good with having all those responsibilities, but not even once he had complained about it. And that made Nanaba feel deeply grateful and enamored with her husband, but she also blamed herself for everything.

What she hadn’t thought about was that Miche wasn’t dumb. He knew perfectly what was happening to his wife, but he himself needed some time to get familiar with this new situation that the birth of their daughter had created. It took him a little over two weeks, roughly the same amount of time Nanaba needed to recover after c-section. And when they did, he knew it was time to do something because his responsibilities and Nana’s terrible mood and well-being made their relationship suffer. They weren’t living with each other anymore, they lived next to each other. And of course, the baby was important, but after two weeks it was the high time for the new parents to do something for themselves.

“She’s asleep?” Miche asked, seeing his wife leaving their daughter’s room. Nanaba didn’t say a word, she just nodded. “Good. Come on” he reached his hand and took hers.

“Where?” she asked weakly, looking at him with tired eyes.

“We’ll take a shower.”

“What about Flora?” Nana asked with uncertainty.

“She’s asleep. She’ll be fine. And we could use a moment for each other” he gave his wife a quick kiss and pulled her to the bathroom. “Don’t worry, we have this” he said, grabbing a baby monitor. “We’ll know if something happens, but I’m convinced it won’t.”

“You can’t know for sure.”

“Of course not, but I believe we deserve some rest.”

Nana sighed and let Miche pull her to the bathroom. She watched him undress but she made no move to do the same. Her body looked so different that she was too reluctant to show it. Fortunately her husband knew what to do and didn’t care at all about any potential insecurities.

“Come here” he said softly and started to unbutton her stretched, oversized shirt. She averted her eyes, convinced he would be disappointed by what he was going to see. “Don’t be ashamed. You look beautiful as usual” he said with a warm smile.

“I don’t look beautiful. I don’t feel beautiful” she protested, but allowed him to undress her. She trusted him after all.

“You just look different, but still beautiful, my love” Miche reassured his beloved wife, pulled her under the warm stream of water on hope it would help her relax.

“So different I don't feel like myself anymore” she admitted. Nanaba had never had a particularly high self esteem, but after the childbirth in decreased even more. No wonder she kept talking and thinking that way.

“It's okay, you just need some time. Your body has changed so much, because it did something incredible. Nanaba, you made our baby. It was a great thing to do, took a lot of effort and a lot of changes. You can't expect to look still the same.”

“But I didn't think the changes would go this far and that going back to normal would take this long.”

“It's not long, it takes exactly as long as it should. You were pregnant for nearly a year, did you expect to go back to the state you were in before in one day?” he asked and she said nothing, but he hoped she would think about it. “How long does a postpartum period last?” he asked suddenly.

“You know this” she answered quietly.

“I do, but I want you to say it. So?” he watched her, waiting patiently. Nanaba sighed, giving up.

“About six weeks.”

“How long ago did you give birth?”

“Two weeks” she said like it was difficult for her to admit it.

“Which means you have about a month more to recover, right?”

“Fine. You won” she sighed.

“I don't want to win, I want you to understand that you can't rush your body. You have to accept that some things take time and it's never good to rush them. It would be unhealthy and very bad if your postpartum lasted for too short” he explained. His wife was looking at him for a moment.

“Alright. But how will you explain the fact that I don't love our baby?” she asked, ashamed of even saying it out loud.

“What do you mean?”

“Everyone kept saying that after the childbirth I would feel a lot of love for my child and that love would make me forget all the pain and effort. But it didn't happen. It's been two weeks and I still don't feel anything” she answered. Miche remained silent for a moment, he reached for the shampoo, squeezed out a bit and started washing his wife's hair. “Please, say something” Nanaba pleaded, her voice breaking with emotions.

“Oh, sorry. I'm just thinking if I've ever read about it.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“What? Of course not, why would I be mad?”

“Because I was supposed to love Flora, but when I look at her, I feel nothing. Obviously I don't want anything bad to happen to her, but I don't feel that overflowing love.”

“Nana, how long did it take for you to fall for me?” he asked finally, realizing what to say.

“What? What does it have to do with anything?” she asked with surprise, not understanding what he meant by this.

“Everything. You have trust issues, my love, you need time to form a bond with someone. You can't love Flora, because you simply don't know her and you can't love someone you don't know” he said. Nanaba stared at him with shock.

“She's my daughter, Miche, how can I not know her?” she asked, not quite convinced to her husband's point.

“But do you know her interests? Passions? Dreams? What she likes or dislikes? Do you know how is she like?”

“She's a baby.”

“She's another human being. Of course, we made her, but she's an individual, completely different person than us. And we needed a lot of time to get to know each other. She doesn't know us too. I'm sorry to say it, my love, but with your past it's understandable that you need more time to get to know people and you have to actively learn to trust them” he explained. Nanaba blinked a few times. Miche was right, his perspective was something new, something she hadn't thought about.

“So... You're saying that it's all a matter of time?” she asked with uncertainty, she was clearly thinking intensively about his words.

“Yes. You need time to get to know her, to form a bond with her, just like you did with me, Hanji, Erwin and everyone else.”

Nanaba stared at her beloved husband with shock. She was so drowned in her sadness and misery, that she forgot to think about the basic reasons of her feelings. What Miche told her was explaining everything. She had a hard time trusting people indeed, especially those she didn't know, which was caused by her traumatic experiences.

“Do you really think that when I get to know Flora I'm going to feel that motherly love I'm supposed to experience?” she asked with hesitation.

“Most likely. And if not, well, it's alright to ask for a professional help. Anything you need to feel better is okay” he smiled and kissed her.

Nanaba smiled as well, her husband really showed her a way to stop worrying, he gave her a very logical explanation of her behavior and feelings. This shower also helped to soothe her sore body, she felt much more relaxed and more at peace than before.

“Thank you, Miche” she said looking at the love of her life and for the first time in weeks her sad, tired eyes were shining with hope.

“You don't have to thank me. That's the least I can do for you, my love” he reassured her, turning the water off, reaching for the towels and wrapped first his wife, then himself. “Come on” he said, drying her off. “If we hurry, we might have some time for a little nap.”

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #my fic #mike zacharias #nanaba #mikenana

[angel-tries-to-write]

Happy Birthday Levi

#LevihanChristmasCountdown

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LEVI!” his friends and family screamed when Hanji turned the light on. Everything was decorated with a mashup of Christmas and birthday decorations, the table was set with a lot of delicious food and a bunch of presents was cramped under the Christmas tree.

“And Merry Christmas!” Hanji laughed happily. Levi stared at everyone with surprise.

“So our amazing day was just an excuse to let them prepare a surprise party?” he asked.

“Of course not. It was a convenient coincidence. I wanted to give you a day full of relaxation you like the most, but I also wanted to throw you an awesome party. Luckily I have Erwin” they looked at their friend. “He organized a party, while I could just spend time with you” they explained.

“Well, I wasn’t alone in this. I had a lot of help from Kuchel, Nanaba, Moblit and Miche” Erwin said. “I wouldn’t have done much without them.”

“Well, we wouldn’t do much without your organization skills” Moblit stated. “And without Hanji’s idea. It’s because of them we did it in the first place.”

“Nah, it’s nothing” Hanji waved their hand. “I did nothing in fact, I just came up with this. All the work is their.”

“Alright. It doesn’t matter who did what. I want to thank every one of you, guys. I know I’m not saying this often, but I’m really happy to have you in my life” Levi said and only Hanji could easily tell how deeply moved he was. “But first of all I would like to thank the one person who was always my superhero. Someone whom I can’t stop admiring. Someone who had always been incredibly strong, no matter what” he said. Everyone half expected he was talking about his partner, but they had other idea about whom he was talking about. And it quickly turned out they were right. “Thank you, mom” Levi approached Kuchel and took her hands in his. “Without you I wouldn’t even exist. You taught me everything I needed to know. You taught me how to be a good man. You taught me how to love” he glanced quickly at his partner. “And if I ever was meant to be a parent, I would want to be as amazing as you are. Thank you, mama” he hugged his mother. Hanji choked on their tea, when they heard that last thing. Levi had never said anything about having a family in public, it was usually just between the two of them. Hanji knew he didn’t really want children, but he had nothing against them and if it ever turned out Hanji was pregnant, he would gladly accept the baby and raise them with love and care. Well, it looked like he was about to be even more surprised, so Hanji decided there was no reason to wait further.

“I’m so proud of you, my son” they heard Kuchel say as she hugged her only child tight. “I’m sure if you’re meant to be a father, you would be amazing.”

“Speaking of” Hanji casually walked to the Christmas tree, took a long, small box and handed it to their boyfriend. “I think you can open it now.”

“What is it?” he asked with curiosity.

“Another present I have for you, but you’ll have to wait some time before the actual unpacking” they joked as Levi ripped the wrapping paper. Usually he was unpacking the gifts carefully, but Hanji awoke his curiosity. Inside the box there was a piece of white and pink plastic with a small window filled with two black lines. Levi stared at it with disbelief.

“Is that…?”

“I’m sorry I haven’t told you sooner, I had a hard time acknowledging it. I hope you’re not angry” they said sheepishly.

“Are you kidding me?” Levi gave the pregnancy test to his mother and lifted his partner, spinning them around. “I couldn’t be more happy” he said when he put them back on their feet. Hanji laughed and tears filled their eyes when they looked at their boyfriend’s face. He was grinning. Levi Ackerman was never grinning, ever. “I'm going to be a dad!” he announced the news to his friends and the eruption of happiness that happened after that, clearly had to be heard from a long distance.

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #my fic #levihan #christmas drabble countdown

[angel-tries-to-write]

1 random thing to do

#LevihanChristmasCountdown

If Levi was told to choose the most random person he’d ever had an encounter with in his life, he would pick Hanji without missing a beat. They were the most spontaneous person in the entire world. Whether it was about a last minute trip or a surprise party, Hanji was down to anything that seemed even a little fun. It was impressive how flexible and good at improvisation they were, but it could also be a little overwhelming, especially to someone enjoying peace and good plans, like Levi. He wanted a nice, stable life filled with peace and quiet, which was challenging, considering that he lived with a person who was the embodiment of chaos.

Their friends were often surprised how well these two were getting along, despite being so different. The answer was patience. And a lot of talking. Without proper communication, they would never achieve any understanding and common ground. Though sometimes it was hard, especially when they had different opinions and ideas.

“Don’t make plans for tomorrow” Hanji told their partner one day. Specifically, two days before Christmas, when there was a lot of preparations to do.

“What? Couldn’t you have told me that a week ago?” he asked with annoyance.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know if everything was going to be set until today.”

“You know I don’t like unexpected things.”

“I said I’m sorry. This time it wasn’t my fault. Besides, it’s just an innocent surprise, I promise you’re going to love it.”

He highly doubted it, but he decided to trust his partner. They already knew what they should do and what they should avoid to make him happy, so he just sighed and went back to cleaning. If they had plans, he had to be done sooner than he was planning, not that it was particularly difficult.

The next day Hanji woke him up pretty early. It was Christmas Eve, normal people were cooking the last bits of their dinner. Levi didn’t have to, because they were going to spend their Christmas with their friends, so if everyone brought one or two dishes, it was more than enough. But that also meant Hanji could do their plans without much harm to the later celebration. So first they went hiking. They spent a few hours in the middle of nowhere, far from people, not even talking much, just cherishing the beauty of nature. Hanji knew their boyfriend didn’t really like people, so spending time away from them was calming and regenerating. When they were done with the trip, they sat for a while to have a picnic. The food was made by their friend Nanaba, which meant it had to be delicious, Nana was the best cook they knew. Then they went back to drink an amazing tea in one of the best tea shops in the city. The day ended with a spa trip, massages, sauna, swimming pool… It was perfect, they were staying there until late at night.

“So? What do you think? Was it worth getting out?” Hanji asked when they came back home a few minutes before midnight.

“Honestly? It was one of the best days in my life. Thank you, Hanji” Levi smiled slightly. Hanji took his hand before he entered the dark living room. “What?”

“Wait a minute” they said, looking at the clock until the hour changed to midnight. “There. Happy birthday, Levi” they smiled wide.

“I should have known you wanted to be the first one” he pulled them close and kissed. “Thank you, Hanji. It was the best birthday present I’ve ever got.”

“If I were you, I would wait with such opinions.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll see” they said mysteriously, leading him to the living room and switching the lights on.

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #my fic #levihan #christmas drabble countdown

[angel-tries-to-write]

2 teas to brew

#LevihanChristmasCountdown

The price of being Levi’s spouse wasn’t too high. All this man needed to be happy was a clean house, a clean partner and a good tea. And while Hanji struggled with the first two, they were a pro in the last one. It took a lot of time and effort, but soon they could make the most delicious tea Levi had ever had. He had no idea how they were doing it, but their tea was perfect. It was more perfect than his could ever be, and he knew everything about brewing tea. But the one Hanji was making always tasted the same, like the one his mom was making on the rare occasions she had an access to this luxury. Therefore, if it was going to be a good day, it always had to start with a cup of tea and a sweet kiss from Hanji. Sometimes they were separated due to their duties, Levi was always more grumpy then, as he didn’t have his morning ritual.

Hanji obviously knew about it, so one time when they came back from an expedition, they fought the urge to go to bed immediately. Instead they took a bath, then made two cups of tea and sneaked into Levi’s room. The sun hadn’t even risen, so it was still dark, but they put the teacups on the nightstand and sat on the bed. Levi looked so peaceful when he was asleep. Hanji wondered if he suffered from insomnia again, because his face looked really tired. They carefully touched his cheek and caressed it gently.

“Wake up, babe” they said quietly. It was almost a crime to wake Levi up, but they had a valid reason. They bent over and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

“I don’t want to. This dream is too beautiful” he muttered, grabbing their hand and pressing it to his face even harder.

“It’s not a dream.”

Levi’s eyes fluttered open. In a faint light of that grey hour before dawn, he saw Hanji with their hair down and still a little wet from the bath, they also wore light, casual clothes and they didn’t have their glasses on.

“Hanji” he sat up and rubbed his eyes. “When did you come back?”

“An hour or so” they smiled and handed their lover a cup of tea. “I’m sorry I woke you up. I wanted to drink our tea before.”

“Before what?”

“Before I’ll go to watch the sunrise. You know I love them.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“But I want to. I missed you, Hanji.”

“I missed you too” they smiled and kissed him. Levi could feel the world coming back to normal with his daily ritual fulfilled.

“Aren’t you tired?” he asked suddenly, realizing that they had just come back and the first thing they did was taking a bath and bringing him tea.

“Honestly? I’m exhausted. But I wanted to drink this tea with you, watch the sunrise and then go to sleep” they admitted.

“You should take care of yourself more.”

“Sleep can wait. Sun can’t” they said, finished their tea and stood up. “Besides, you’re too important to me to wait for you until I rest. I needed to see you as soon as I could” they smiled. “Now hurry up or we’ll miss the sunrise.”

Levi finished his tea and got up as well, got dressed quickly and followed his partner to the rooftop. He couldn’t stop looking at them, marvelling their beauty. When Hanji was looking at the sun, which was flooding the world with red and golden light, he couldn’t tear his eyes off them, observing the colorful light dancing on their face, hair and lighting up their eyes.

“You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met” he whispered finally, when the sun was fully up. Hanji looked at him, their eyes shining with happiness.

“Let’s go back to bed, shall we?” they asked and he was happy to agree.

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #my fic #levihan #christmas drabble countdown

[angel-tries-to-write]

3 dreams to fulfill

#LevihanChristmasCountdown

Levi Ackerman and Hanji Zoë were the best friends ever since they could only remember. It was surprising how well these two were getting along despite being this different. Their personalities were like literal fire and water, yet they had such a close relationship. They were inseparable. And they had this beautiful tradition since childhood, that once a year they were talking about their dreams and plans for the future, then they had a year to make them come true, then they would sum up everything they had achieved and make new plans. At first Hanji had really big and bold plans, but after Levi talked some sense to them and made them realize they weren’t able to do all the things they had planned in just one year, they split them into smaller and easier tasks. So instead of ‘to know everything about biology’ or ‘become a professor’, they would say ‘to win this contest’. Or instead of ‘travel the world’ they would say ‘to go there and see that’. They always wanted to do big things, while Levi just wanted peace and quiet. His plans often were associated with cooking, household duties, sometimes charity. Hanji was always amazed at how kind their friend could be, despite his harsh attitude.

Every year it was the same. The two of them would talk about already accomplished plans, often with detailed explanation how they made it work, maybe some thoughts and conclusions, maybe they discussed new ideas how it could be done differently. It all looked the same until one year. Until Levi said something Hanji couldn’t easily accept and get over it.

To ask my crush out.

Jealousy was not something Hanji experienced often. Therefore they didn’t expect to feel it that time when they learned that their best friend had a crush on someone. They hoped to forget about it soon and focus on their own plans, but this thought was still in the back of their head. It was even worse when Levi casually admitted that he achieved his goal. They tried to be cool with that, they really did. But it turned out to be really hard. Especially when he announced his next plan, which was to kiss them. Hanji could feel the burning in their chest at the thought of Levi kissing someone else. But they acted like nothing happened, maybe their smile was a little too forced and their teeth a little too gritted, but other than that, they were fine. Or they tried to act like they were.

This obliviousness continued until the next year, when for the first time, Levi said he didn’t achieve the goal. Hanji pretended they were shocked and that it was a terrible thing, but inside they were bursting with happiness. And then it hit them. Levi and them were always inseparable. No one could better understand Hanji than him. They felt threatened by a potential relationship of his. They wanted them for themself only. They wanted to be forever with him, to do all the things they were doing, to spend their life with him… It was the moment Hanji Zoë realized they had a huge crush on their best friend.

“...so I decided I’ll have to do two things this year” Levi finished his speech, then looked at his friend carefully. “You weren’t listening, were you?”

“Uhh… no, of course I listened. You didn’t do what you were supposed to do, so for this year you have two goals” they said, barely convincing themself, let alone Levi.

“Alright, I know you weren’t listening, but I’ll pretend you did” he shook his head. “So I thought the most fair thing, which would hopefully make me achieve all the goals, is to confess to them. If they feel the same about me, maybe they will let me kiss them.”

“I don’t know. Aren’t you rushing these things?” Hanji asked, trying to sound casual.

“Rushing? Hanji, I’ve loved them for years. It took me a lot of time to realize it, but this relationship is anything but rushed” Levi blinked with disbelief.

“I don’t know. I’m just saying that maybe you shouldn’t have too high hopes. If they haven’t made a move, maybe they don’t feel the same.”

“Hanji, what happened to you? Aren’t you my friend who is supposed to have my back, not discourage me from making my dreams come true?”

“You can’t say that being with someone is a dream.”

“Why not? Because you don’t like it?”

“What? No, that’s ridiculous.”

“Your behavior is ridiculous. You ask like you were jealous.”

“I’m not jealous!”

“Then you’re going to support me?” he asked. Hanji sighed, they knew they didn’t have a choice.

“Yes. I’m going to support you and be happy when you’ll be happy” they said, but with no enthusiasm. “I promise” they added to sound more convincing.

But they couldn’t suppress a smile when the following year, Levi admitted his failure once again.

“I’ve tried multiple times, but I couldn’t. I can’t just tell them how I feel” he sighed.

“Maybe you’re not meant to be” they said lightheartedly, but the pain in Levi’s eyes made them quickly change that attitude. “Can you at least tell me who it is? Maybe I can help you. I’ll talk to them.”

“No way.”

“Tell me, who is it? Ohh, I know, it’s this guy Erwin, isn’t it? He’s pretty hot and awesome.”

“No, it’s not Erwin. I don’t want you to talk to anyone about it” Levi said with irritation.

“I just want to help. Maybe you’ll pretend I’m this person and–”

They didn’t even finish talking when Levi dropped his cup and spilled his tea. Hanji stared at him with wide eyes. Why did he suddenly get so nervous?

“Are you okay?” they asked carefully.

“I’m fine.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know it’s such a stupid idea.”

“It’s not stupid. I just can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Hanji, I…” he sighed heavily. “I can’t pretend you’re this person, because… because I… I don’t have to.”

“What? What do you mean?” they asked with confusion. Levi took another deep breath and looked his friend in the eye.

“I love you.”

This simple confession made Hanji drop their own teacup.

“You what?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I don’t even know how or when it happened. It just did. One day I realized I have a crush on you and that none of my dreams matters if I don’t share them with you. That’s why I decided to make them my goals. I thought it would be easier to tell you step by step, but I couldn’t. There, I’ve said it. You can laugh at how ridiculous I am” he said with his usual grumpy expression. Hanji indeed laughed lightly, but for a way different reason.

“I can’t believe it. I was so dumb” they put their hand on their head in disbelief. “Through all these years I was so jealous of your mysterious crush, and now you’re telling me I was jealous of myself?!” they asked with a laugh. “Now this is a real embarrassment.”

“Wait, what? Jealous? Why?”

“I don’t know how it happened as well, but I’ve realized I love you too, Levi” they confessed. He stared at them with wide eyes. “I’m sorry?” they laughed at his expression.

“Oh, come here, you” he pulled them close and kissed passionately. They were an idiot, but they were his idiot and they were going to continue to be. And the next year’s plans were’t going to be his, but theirs.

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #my fic #levihan #christmas drabble countdown

[angel-tries-to-write]

4 regrets to kill

#LevihanChristmasCountdown

“Levi?” Hanji spoke quietly as they were lying in bed in his quarter, cuddling.

“Yes?” Levi asked, caressing their back and hair.

“If you could undo one thing in your life, what would that be?” they asked and he didn’t answer right away, thinking in silence.

“Just one?” he asked, making sure he had only one option he could choose, because in fact there was a lot more than them.

“Just one. Choose wisely.”

“I don’t need to think too much. The answer is simple: I would undo the existence of titans” he said with confidence.

“Wouldn’t you like to make sure you wouldn’t get injured? Fix something you did? Or maybe bring back someone who is long dead? Your mom? Or a friend? Maybe Erwin? Or maybe you would prevent Eren from going rogue? Or maybe even from becoming a titan?”

“If the titans never existed, I wouldn’t have to bring anyone back, because no one would have died. I wouldn’t lose anyone” he explained.

“But we could have never met.”

“Maybe that could be for the better” he sighed.

“You would rather never meet me?”

“Than lose you like this? Definitely” he said and at the same time he felt his arms were empty. He was holding a pillow, not Hanji. Then someone opened the door. Levi unhappily opened his eyes and saw Gabi standing there.

“I’m sorry, Levi-sama, but I was knocking and you weren't answering and you told me to wake you up…” she said. Levi sighed and sat up.

“You could have waited for a moment” he complained and discreetly wiped his eyes.

“Were you dreaming about them again?” Gabi looked at the old man with compassion and sadness.

“Yes. I regret so much that I couldn't keep them to myself…”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I feel I’m going to see them soon anyway” Levi smiled softly.

“Alright, just don’t die. The world still needs you” she smiled and left. Levi slowly stood up, then got dressed, then sat on his wheelchair and moved to the window to look at the sky.

“The world will be fine. And we’ve waited for too long to meet again, haven’t we, four eyes?” he asked quietly, looking at the old and worn photograph he always kept in the pocket close to his heart. “You know, I have to tell you something. When you asked me if I could undo one thing in his life, I knew exactly what to say: your death, Hanji. There’s not a day when I don’t think about it. About you. And about what we had lost. I would rather not meet you at all than experience this much happiness that being close to you was, only to lose it all with you” he sighed, wiping his eyes again. “I miss you, Hanji. I miss you every day. If I could undo one thing in my life it would be your death, Hanji. That’s my biggest regret. That I couldn’t have saved you.”

He whispered these words like a prayer into the empty room. No one answered and this was probably the worst.

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #my fic #levihan #christmas drabble countdown

[angel-tries-to-write]

5 friends to thank

#LevihanChristmasCountdown

“I may not live to see our glory!” Erwin suddenly sang, completely out of nowhere. Levi looked at him with a face expressing absolute lack of understanding what his friend was doing. But his surprise was soo going to be even bigger.

“I may not live to see our glory!” Hanji and Miche repeated. Nanaba and Moblit joined Levi in his confusion.

“But I will gladly join the fight!” Erwin sang again.

“But I will gladly join the fight!” Hanji and Miche echoed again.

“And when our children tell our story!” Erwin continued, then Moblit and Nanaba’s faces changed. They realized what it was about.

“And when our children tell our story!” Hanji and Miche repeated for the last time. Levi remained the only confused one in there.

“They’ll tell the story of tonight!” Erwin finished with a big smile.

“Let’s have another round tonight” Miche said, looking at Moblit who sighed.

“Let’s have another round tonight” he said back.

“Let’s have another round tonight” Erwin sang and suddenly a moment later Levi nearly forgot he didn’t understand a thing.

“Raise a glass to freedom!” Hanji sang with that beautiful voice of theirs and raised their glass pretty literally, which made Levi focus on it completely. “Something they can never take away. No matter what they tell you!” they put their arm on Erwin’s neck. “Raise a glass to the six of us! Tomorrow there’ll be more of us! Telling the story of tonight!”

“Okay, okay, that’s enough” Moblit raised his hands, breaking the performance.

“Can anyone tell me what that was about?” Levi asked, his initial confusion was brought back as soon as Hanji stopped singing.

“Oh, just a song from a musical, babe. Nothing more than us being silly” Hanji smiled at their boyfriend.

“Well, not really nothing more” Erwin protested. “I just want to thank you all. You’re the best friends and the best found family I could ever ask for. So yeah, I’m raising a glass to the six of us!”

“To us” Miche agreed, raising his glass as well. “Without you, I could never go this far in my life. Thank you so much.”

“To us” Hanji smiled, looking at them. “Thank you for putting up with my craziness, I know it can be overwhelming.”

“To us” Moblit joined them. “May we all live in peace and happiness. Thank you for giving me the strength to fight.”

“To us” Nanaba raised her glass too. “Thank you for teaching me how to trust and love again. I am who I am because of you.”

Everyone looked at Levi, who just sighed and joined them, raising his glass.

“To us. I’m not saying that often, I’m not the best with words, you know this” he said, not looking at them. “But I guess I have to say it…”

“We know, Levi. We know” Erwin reassured him with a smile. Levi looked at his friends with relief in his eyes, glad that he didn’t have to say it out loud. Even his lips curved slightly in a small smile.

“We love you too, babe” Hanji kissed his cheek and Levi thought that he was really lucky to have such friends.

A/N: it was obviously a song from Hamilton, I think it fits aot pretty well :3

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #my fic #levihan #christmas drabble countdown