#despite saying they still wanted to be friends and i feel really bad. bc maybe again i am not good enough to put in the effort

[dreamcast-official]

guess who cant fall asleep cause its too busy being sad!!!! me bitch

#eli.txt #this is abt me being bitchless still. #i just. i tried so hard to fix it and make it work but i guess i just wasnt good enough. and i dont even blame em for that lol #i miss them. not even in a i miss being in a relationship with them but they straight up will not talk to me #despite saying they still wanted to be friends and i feel really bad. bc maybe again i am not good enough to put in the effort #i WANT to be their friend i WANT to talk to them but everytime we interact i want to cry bc i just KNOW that i was not good enough #we were such good friends before we started dating and i want to be good friends again but i dont know if we can bc #i just fucked up too bad too many times AND NOW THEY WILL NOT TALK TO ME #its not like they need me. they have better friends than me and a better partner and a better everything and im nothing #they dont need me. but i still feel like i need them and this fucking sucks so bad. #theyre better than me in every way too so idk why i ever felt like i would be a good partner. i dont have anything to offer and never did #i was just being dumb the whole time i guess. idk i feel so bad. i wish i could be their friend again without going through all of this. #this sucks

[nickfowlerrr]

so inviting, i almost jump in.

pairing: neighbor!bucky barnes x curvy!reader

warnings: fluff. pining. idiots in love? fake dating...kinda lol. a lil bit of angst but not too much.

words: 4.5k

notes: happy new year! i tried so hard to finish this last night but just couldn’t do it lol. this is part of the ciwywt universe, but i think it can be read as a standalone, too.

also - coherent, consistent timelines? sorry, don’t know her. idk where this fits in their story but it does bc i say it does. 😌 i really love these two and i hope you enjoy this lil fic as much as i do. thank you in advance for reading. as always, comments and reblogs are more than welcome, and so appreciated! 💞

"Ow,” you wince, “damn it," you grumble to yourself as you set your eyeliner pencil down, blinking rapidly to quell the tears you could feel about to form in your eye. You huff and turn to look down at the cause of your distraction, your phone ringing loudly as it lays on the counter. You see the caller and preemptively roll your eyes. Not this again.

You swipe to answer the call and his voice immediately floats into your ear, giving you no time to even utter a 'hello'.

"Before you say anything-"

"No," you state firmly, annoyance clear in your tone as you stop him before he can begin.

"Doll,"

"Bucky, I said no," you cut him off again. "It's a no. No. No, no, no. Not gonna happen," you continue despite his pathetic huff sounding on the other end.

"I know you said no..." he says before trailing off for a second, "but, doll, I really need you."

Damn him. You sigh heavily into the phone, putting a hand to your forehead to stop the headache you know is coming. He's really trying to pull on your heart strings... unfortunately for him, it's not gonna work.

"You don't need me, Bucky. You're gonna be fine. They're your friends, if you just tell them what you told me, they'll understand. You have nothing to worry about."

"That's not," he huffs, stopping himself, and you can almost hear him shake his head, "Will you at least try to come by?"

You know you won't, but you don't want to upset him any more than he already is.

"Yeah, I'll try. And stop worrying so much. You'll have a good time, I know it," you smile, the thought of him and his friends enjoying their New Year's Eve tugging at your lips.

"Yeah," he responds, sounding a little unsure. "Okay, well, I'll see you later?"

"Mhm...maybe," you say.

"Doll," he groans, causing an unbidden laugh to slip from you at his dramatics.

"I said I'd try, no promises! But I do have to go now, so, talk later. Bye," you finish, hanging up on him before he can try and talk you into making a promise you have no intention of keeping.

You sigh heavily as you set your phone back down, returning to your almost finished makeup. Just because you aren't going out doesn't mean you can't look good.

You're still so surprised he asked you to be his fake date to his New Year's Eve party. Both because you were surprised he was hosting a party to begin with, and because he needed a fake date.

But that was just it, he didn't need a fake date. He wanted to get his friends off his back with the constant set ups and double dates they'd plan for him. What he really needed to do was tell them the truth, just like he told you. He didn't want to date, at least not right now. He said his mind was on other things. That was understandable, so you weren't sure why he couldn't just tell them that...

A part of you feels bad for not helping Bucky out, but the other part of you knows you'd feel like a total outsider at a small party being attended by the avengers.

Like, the real-life superhero team, The Avengers.

That was an immediate 'no thank you'.

You were content to spend the night alone; just you, your grapes, and some apple cider to cheers to the new year.

--

The television plays on, another episode of a show you've seen ten times before just starting up, as a knock sounds at your door.

You furrow a brow as your head shoots in its direction. It only takes a second for you to come to the conclusion that it must be Bucky. You set your drink down and stand from where you were sitting cozily on your couch.

You fix your dress, and for no reason at all, check yourself in the mirror before you near the door, making sure your makeup isn't smudged and your hair still looks nice as you do.

There's another knock as you get to it and you open your door with a bit of attitude at his impatience.

"Bucky, how many times-" you're stopped short as you quickly see that the man before you is, in fact, not Bucky. "Oh, uhm, sorry, can I help you?" you ask.

"Yeah," the man laughs, "I'm here for the party. This is the right apartment, isn't it? Bucky Barnes?" he asks, looking at you quizically.

"No," you answer, "no, wrong apartment. He's just," again you're cut off, but this time by the door right down the hall opening, none other than Bucky peeking out to look down at you and - oh my god wait...is this - this is - holy shit you're talking to Captain America. Your eyes round as you look from Bucky back over to the man before you. "Oh, gosh, you, you're,"

"Sam Wilson," he smiles brightly at you, extending a hand. You shake hands as he continues, "and you must be-"

He is cut off from saying your name as it comes out of Bucky's mouth, almost frantically. You look from Sam back over to Bucky, your eyes still wide.

"I know you're still getting ready, but would you come here for just a second," he nods at you. You look once more between Sam and Bucky, your eyes narrowing as they land back on your own personal pain in the ass. What the hell is he up to... You and Sam go to walk over to him but Bucky speaks again. "Not you, Sam. You stay there," he says in a fuss. Sam puts his hands up, a look of confusion clear on his face at Bucky's demand.

You continue toward him and as soon as you're close enough to touch, he pulls you to him, turning you both so Sam can't see what you're saying. It's a hushed conversation, a whispered argument, really.

"You have to come over."

"No, I really don't."

"You do."

"I don't."

"You're staying."

"No, I'm not."

"You're staying. I'm not letting you leave," he says, trying to corral you into his apartment as you swipe at him, a back and forth of swats ensuing between the two of you.

"Bucky!" you finally whisper yell, stopping the battle as you ball your fists, almost stomping like a toddler in your annoyance. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I lied."

"Huh? To me? About what?"

"To all of you. But mostly them. I told them you'd be here. Because I thought you would be. But then you said you weren't coming, but I couldn't tell them that or they'd think I was just making up another lie about you..."

"Another lie?"

"I...may have... told my friends that we're dating and have been for a few weeks," he murmurs under his breath, so quiet you can barely hear his confession.

"You what?" you balk, trying your hardest to squash the stupid butterflies that are fluttering around in your stomach now at the idea of not only dating Bucky, but of being someone he brings up in conversation to other people.

"Alright, love birds, cute as this is, are one of you gonna invite me in or am I just supposed to stand here awkwardly in your hallway all night?" Sam interjects, walking to you both as you turn your heads to look at him.

Bucky turns entirely, moving closer to you, slipping his arm behind your back and resting his hand on your hip, "Yeah, welcome in. Steve said he'd be here with beer in a few minutes," Bucky says, an annoyed edge to his voice as he lets Sam through the door. Sam raises a brow at you and you force a smile. As soon as he's inside, Bucky snaps the door shut behind him, leaving you both in the hallway still.

"What the hell," Sam says, loud enough for you to hear through the door.

"Look, it started as a lie to get out of a date, but then I just kept using you an excuse to not go to things I didn't wanna go to. And ya know, more than half the time I wasn't really lying because I was with you," he tries to excuse himself.

"Are you insane?" you ask him plainly.

"I know, I'm sorry, but I really need you to be here tonight, please," he begs, his puppy eyes starting to get to you.

"You had only asked me to be your fake date."

"Yeah, once you said yes, I was gonna work the girlfriend thing in," he smiles wryly, rubbing the back of his neck in his anxiousness.

"You're ridiculous, you know that?"

"Is that a yes?"

You roll your eyes before acquiescing, "Fine. But you've gotta come clean tomorrow. You can't start the new year with secrets, it doesn't bode well for anyone."

"Deal," he smiles his real smile this time. Then his eyes drift down to your outfit and you warm, like you always do, under his attention. "You look good," he says softly, sincerity in his voice.

"Thanks," you accept quickly. You will not let him fluster you so easily. Not tonight.

--

More of Bucky's friends arrive soon after you get back from your apartment, your bag of grapes and bottle of unopened cider in hand. Bucky introduces you to each of them and you're now unsurprised that they know your name and exactly who you are. And you, for your part, are in awe of each and every one of them. Though you like to think you don't make it obvious.

And it's surprising how normal it all feels.

You for sure thought you'd be a nervous wreck around these people, but, especially with Bucky by your side, you've never felt so calm and comfortable, and at a party of all places. Though you suppose it helps that you're already so comfortable around his apartment. Still, it's nice. They're nice. And fun!

Card games are played, karaoke sung, and stories told as you all snack and chat the evening away.

You're all laughing as Sam talks about how everyone was sure Bucky had been making you up like a summer camp girlfriend after the fifth time he claimed you were sick or out of town so you couldn't show up to the events they had invited you to. Of course, you had no idea about any of them, but you do know where you were each and every night they brought up.

You were here.

With Bucky.

So, he wasn't completely lying. You smile and look to Bucky who stands right next to you. Your eyes instantly meet his, a smile of his own already gracing his face. You look back down, bashful despite yourself.

The night has passed so quickly and it's already nearing midnight. You're about to go get your grapes ready, but Steve's voice stops you, catching your attention.

"Ya know, I can't even remember the last time I've seen you look so happy, Buck," Steve smiles as he looks at the two of you. "I'm really happy for you, both of you,” he adds. “It's obvious how much you two care about each other. It's good to see."

You don't know what to say, and you're too scared to look at Bucky. You just force another smile, feeling a bit sad more than anything. Because this isn't real. Whether you'd like it to be or not. It isn't. You have to remind yourself of that.

Bucky's hand squeezing your waist, and the feeling of his admiring gaze on you as he pulls you closer to his side, doesn't help. It just makes that pit in your stomach grow deeper.

This is easy for him because it means nothing.

This is killing you because it means everything. It’s everything you never give yourself permission to dream about. Everything you want. And it’s what you know isn’t for you. It couldn’t be.

Just a few more minutes, you breathe, and then you'll go back to normal. No dating, just friends...just friends? Whatever it is you are to him...

You're lost in thought as the conversation continues around you, Bucky's hand never leaving you and his gaze never wavering. Even as he engages in the conversation, his attention is solely on you.

"Oo, countdown is going!"

The yell pulls you out of your head as your eyes snap to the television. What the hell! How did you just lose eight minutes? Damn Bucky always taking up your thoughts and distracting you.

You don't have the time to get to the fridge for your grapes as the kitchen is crowded, flutes of cider and champagne being passed out among the group.

You tsk, oh well. At least you have on your red underwear.

As the count gets lower, Bucky gets closer, and you mindlessly lean back into him as you watch the live broadcast from Time Square. Ten seconds hits and you all count along, Bucky's other arm comes around as he holds you from behind. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Bucky turns you around in his arms, catching you off guard as you look up at him, your hands coming to rest on his chest.

Two.

He leans in, and you're frozen. His nose brushes yours, as his lips brush against your own. Oh.

One.

"Happy New Year," he whispers against you, cheers and exclamations of the same sentiment shared all around the living room, between everyone else.

"Happy New Year," you whisper back breathily before you unthinkingly press closer to him.

His lips meet yours as he leans in ever closer and kisses you, so softly. Your eyes flutter closed as you return his affection, kissing back harder than you intend before you break away. It feels like magic, it feels like home. And you want nothing more than to do it again. To lose yourself in him so delightfully…

You remember yourself then and almost shy away completely before Bucky takes your face in his hand, turning you back to him. You lock eyes once more and you feel like you can't breathe at what you see in his. You don't have time to think on it before his eyes flick down to your lips and then he's kissing you again. His lips press harder against yours, still moving just as gently but somehow it feels much more intimate. Sincere. Real.

You deepen the kiss and then suddenly the whooping and claps around you both bring you back to reality.

You pull away, taking a sobering breath, blinking away the haze of longing as Bucky's delicate touch remains on your cheek. You gingerly reach to take his hand, slowly pulling it off of you. You hold it for a second, squeezing his hand before letting it drop.

The celebration continues all around but you need to get yourself together. Alone.

"'M gonna use the bathroom," you whisper to him, knowing he can hear you even through the din.

You exchange 'Happy New Year' exclamations with everyone you pass on your way to his bathroom and bid goodnight to the people already getting ready to head home. A lot of them have early mornings at the tower, so you get it.

There are only a few people in the living room with Bucky as you look back before you escape to the bathroom, taking your time to decompress.

Sam, Steve, and Nat were talking with him, but his eyes were on you when you looked at them.

You knew this was a bad idea. You knew you'd get caught up in the fantasy. And somehow, he still got you to do it. You curse yourself in the mirror and then notice your smudged lipstick.

The thought of your lipstick staining Bucky's lips right out there has you in a flurry of emotions...

He kissed you. Twice. That actually happened. But did it really mean anything?

Your heart twists as you refuse to believe it could have. You just need to... God, you don't know what you need. All you know is right now you can't stop thinking about Bucky's hands on you. You can't stop thinking of how soft and supple his lips are. And how damn good of a kisser he is.

You look at yourself once more in the mirror.

Fucking hell. What are you gonna do? You sigh, eyes squeezing shut before you shake your head at yourself.

You turn back to the door, opening it right when someone's knock hits.

You're somehow surprised, and yet not at all, to see Bucky staring back at you as you pull it open wider.

"Hey," you say, raising a brow and shoving every fuzzy feeling threatening to strangle you back down.

"Hey," he started. "Everyone left. I just, uh. Wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Yeah, I'm good," you nod.

"I'm sorry. About kissing you."

"Oh," you utter - sounding more dejected than you wanted to. "Yeah, no. Don't, don't even worry about it." You muster a shamefully see through smile.

His stare is near invasive as he really looks at you, analyzing you. He opens his mouth to speak, but thinks better of it, instead giving you a tight lipped smile in return.

He nods, then looks to the floor, "Okay," he accepts.

You nibble your lip, crossing your arms as he still stands in front of you.

He notices and moves out of your way, offering a small sorry and a huff of a laugh.

You walk back out into the living room as he follows.

"Wow, this place is a mess,” you breathe a laugh, hoping to keep the subject change.

"Yeah," he agrees, "I'll be having fun tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" you question. "Are you busy now?"

"... I guess not."

"Then grab a garbage bag, Barnes. We've got work to do."

He laughs, "Oh, yeah? You're gonna stay and help me clean up?"

"What are friends for if not clean up?"

He smiles at you as his mind replays his conversation with Sam, Steve and Nat just minutes ago.

He told them the truth about you, and their reaction wasn't what he expected, but definitely what he needed.

"Wait, sorry, you're not dating her?" Nat asked, puzzled.

"Yeah, I'm confused, too," Sam added. "You guys act more like a couple than most couples I know."

"And she's cute, you seem perfect together."

"Well, we're not. Not, not perfect together," he amended, "I mean we're just not together. We're friends. Nothing more."

"Looks like a hell of a lot more, if you ask me..."

"So," Steve finally chimed in, "you spend all that time together, you talk about her constantly, and I saw the way you kissed her at midnight, Buck, but you're telling us it's nothing more than friendship?"

Bucky didn't know what to say. But he knew Steve knew what he was really feeling. He knew exactly what he wasn't saying.

"Do you want it to be more?" he asked. "Because from an outsider's perspective, it seems like you have everything with her but the label."

"I..." Bucky looked around, making sure you hadn't snuck back out of the bathroom yet, "yeah. I do want it to be more. She's, fuckin' perfect," he breathed a laugh as his thoughts, as they always do, strayed back to you. That familiar warmth that fills his chest anytime you're near, or hell, anytime he so much as thinks your name, returned to him. And suddenly his thoughts went back to the softness of your cheek as he held you close earlier. How pliant and perfectly your lips moved against his as you kissed him back. Not once, but twice.

Even still, he thinks back to when he told you why he was so reluctant to go on the dates his friends kept setting up for him. It was a lie when he said it was because he didn't want to date right now... well, partially. He really didn't want to date around. And his mind was focus on other things.

Other things, of course, being you.

When you nodded and told him you got it, that you felt the same way, his heart felt like it deflated by ten.

He was getting ready to finally make his move and ask you out, for real this time. But how could he do that now? He didn't want to be another guy you had to swat away, he couldn't be another one of your rejections. And you gave out plenty, always to his selfish delight if he was being honest. In fact, he can't remember the last time you actually went out on a date. It's been months...

Most of your nights are spent together. Just the two of you. But if you weren't wanting to date anyone right now, and he asked you, he couldn't be sure what you'd say. More importantly, where it'd leave you.

Bucky wasn't stupid, he wasn't blind, and he wasn't deaf. He had every confirmation he could ever want that you liked him the same way he liked you. But he didn't want to chase you away by pressuring a relationship, especially if that's not what you want.

"It's clear she likes you, too, ya know," Steve pointed out what he thought was the obvious.

"I know, I just. I don't wanna push her away by moving too fast. I don't think she's looking to date anybody right now,"

"If you don't ask, you'll never know."

He knew they were right. He needed to just bite the bullet and ask you outright. And he would.

But as he watches you glide around his kitchen, so at home, putting things back in their rightful places and throwing away the random garbage left behind, he thinks maybe not tonight… He doesn’t want to ask a question that might make you leave. But then again…what if it makes you stay?

"Chop chop, supersoldier," you admonish him as he continues to watch, staring dreamily at you. Your back is to him so you can't see his face, but you can feel the weight of his gaze.

Bucky follows your lead, tossing away the empty cups and putting away the leftover food and drinks while you wipe down the counter.

It really wasn't that much of a mess, but you're glad to get it cleaned now, so you won't have to worry about it tomorrow.

Wait...why would you be worried about it tomorrow? This isn't your apartment. God, you really are always over here, aren't you...

You turn to Bucky as he ties off the bag of trash.

You just look at him for a minute. Admiring him from mere feet away while he does the same to you. It's quiet between the two of you, but you can feel the charged silence as it brims with words unsaid.

You know what you want to do right now. But you do what you think you should instead.

"I guess I'll head out, then."

"Oh," he breathes.

"Oh?"

"I just, uh,” he shakes his head, "Never mind."

"No, what is it?" you prod, now entirely curious.

Bucky's bright eyes flash back up to yours and you see him search for what to say instead of saying what was on his mind.

"Your grapes," he remembers, turning to the fridge to get them for you, "you didn't eat them."

"Oh, yeah, well, too late now," you laugh softly.

"What's your resolution?" he asks.

"That's not how the grapes work, Bucky."

"Come on," he goads. "What's your resolution? I wanna know."

"Hmm. Well, good question," you think for a moment, watching him as he rinses off a bunch, then pulls two grapes from their stems. You mindlessly purse your lips as you think. "I want to be less scared," you start quietly, eyes meeting his intent gaze, when he looks back at you, "More confident," you add with a little nod.

"You, more confident?" he asks. "You're one of the most confident people I know. And I know Thor," he adds, getting the laugh he was hoping for from you.

You shrug, "Fake it til you make it." You give a soft, almost sad smile. It physically hurts him to see that hint of sadness in your eyes, and he wants nothing more than to do whatever he can to take it away. He hands you one of the two grapes and you raise a brow as you take it.

"And you?"

Your heart rate kicks up as he steps close, invading your space and standing right before you.

"I…would like to communicate better."

You huff a laugh, tittering, "Yeah, that's a good one."

"Let's both start right now," he says, holding up his grape.

"Okay. Let's," you hold up your own grape, bumping it into Bucky's as if you were toasting before you both pop your own grape into your mouth, stupid smiles on both of your faces.

As you finish, Bucky takes a step closer, surprising you as you look up to him. A bit of deja vu coming over you as you swallow hard. You wait a long breath for him to say something. And then he finally does.

"So. This is me, trying to communicate better: I'm not really sorry that I kissed you. Either time. And if I'm being entirely honest, I'd really like to kiss you again right now."

You're stunned silent and you think you can hear your blood rushing in your ears as you blink up at him.

It takes you a moment before you think you can respond, but Bucky speaks again before you do.

"But I'm not going to do that. Because I want to do this right. In fact, I've been wanting to do this right for months."

"Bucky?" you murmur quietly.

"Doll, will you do me the pleasure of accompanying me to dinner and a movie this Friday?" he asks sincerely.

Your mouth is dry and you have to force yourself to swallow hard again so you can speak. "We always do dinner and movies on Fridays," you point out.

"I mean as a date," he clarifies, holding himself to his resolution.

You stare at him, unsure of what to say. Well, that's not true. You know what you want to say. You know what you want to do. You want to say yes, and you want to lean into him again and indulge him in one more kiss, because you want to kiss him as badly as he wants to kiss you. But that terrified voice in the back of your head is currently telling you to make a run for home as fast as you can. You want to fight the fear, really you do.

Bucky is keeping his resolution already, you're just not sure if you can do the same.

"Uhm," you drone awkwardly.

He laughs that nervous laugh you rarely get to hear...the one you love.

"Is that a yes?" he asks with a hopeful wince.

It takes you a second and then your mouth moves before your brain does as you respond to him.

You stand there, a bit shocked at your own answer, and not entirely sure where to go from here...

#bucky barnes x curvy!reader #bucky barnes x reader #neighbor!bucky x reader #neighbor!bucky x curvy!reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x plus size reader #ciwywt #bucky x reader #bucky x curvy!reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n

[hannieehaee]

LOST IN STEREO - teaser

18+ / mdi

summary: after kicking you out of your own band to seek success with the band on his own, vernon finds his plans falling through, all the while you'd reached success on your own. now leading your own label, vernon finds himself having to earn your forgiveness, not realizing how badly he'd hurt you years back.

content: friends2enemies2lovers!vernon, band!au, drummer!vernon, guitarist!reader, unrequited crush (kinda), pining, vernon kicks you out of your band bc ur a girl (asshole, ik), really incorrect music industry terminology (i know nothing about music oops), afab reader, reader becomes a producer after being kicked from vernon's band, seokmin, chan, hannie and kwannie are in the band, smut, penetrative sex, dry humping, fingering, etc.

(^ no actual content warnings in the teaser)

wc: 433 (teaser); 8.8k (full fic)

release date: june 3rd

or you can check it out on my ko-fi or patreon today by subscribing to either one!

a/n: i know the summary and content are all over the place, but i promise the story in itself is coherent</3

masterlist | kofi/patreon

"Fuck! Jesus Christ, what are you doing here?"

He winced at the sudden sight of you upon turning a corner in the huge building he was currently exploring, never having expected to bump into you there.

"I work here, Vernon. I would've expected you to do some research on the labels you're auditioning for."

"W-wait. What do you mean you work here?"

"I'm a producer here. What? Surprised?"

"N-no!" he spluttered.

Fuck, you looked good. No, scratch that. You looked beautiful beyond belief.

How long had it been? Three? Four years?

He still felt horribly about it. You know, that whole situation in which he threw you under the bus for his own benefit; only for everything to come crashing down on him immediately after. Not only did he feel like an asshole, but also like a huge idiot. Letting go of a friendship just for a failed attempt at success would go down as the dumbest thing Vernon ever engaged in.

In his defense, he was a teenager at the time. Okay, maybe he was freshly 19, but it felt like the same thing back then. He had been an idiot who dumped his best friend and crush just for a chance in the music industry. What he had thought that to be the smartest move to make for the future of your shared band, ended up becoming his greatest mistake. To this day, he still thought back on it with shame.

What sucked the most was how talented he knew you were. That, and the knowledge that he bad been the sole person to blame for taking this opportunity away from you – from taking your own band away from you.

He quickly came to realize that it had been a horrible mistake, but it was too late by then. Contractually speaking, you had never really existed within the group. Your friendship had also crumbled soon after, despite your reassurance that all you wanted was the best for the band, even if that meant they'd continue on without you.

At the time, you had been the band's sole music producer, and song writer, and engineer, and you were the one who had a macbook with garage band on it, and–

"Vernon!"

Fuck. Had he been in his head this whole time?

You looked annoyed. Also way more grown and mature than when he last saw you at 19 years old. Fuck, did he mention you looked insanely hot?

"Sorry, I, uh, as I was saying," he cleared his throat, "Of course I'm not surprised. You're the most talented person I've ever known."

...

a/n: lol sorry for how abrupt the teaser is, i wasn't sure how to cut it</3

you can check it out today on my ko-fi or patreon by subscribing to either one!

#seventeen x reader #seventeen fanfic #svt fanfic #svt x reader #seventeen imagine #seventeen oneshot #seventeen smut #svt smut #vernon x reader #vernon scenarios #vernon fanfic #vernon smut #vernon imagines #hansol imagine #hansol x reader #hansol smut #hansol fanfic #hansol scenarios #bookmarks

[dodgeirs]

⊹ ᳝ ࣪ hotch helping to take off your makeup.

cw. bf!aaron, confirmed whiney!reader, established relationship, fluff, whipped aaron

wc. 622

a/n. just a little small, small snack while the poll finishes up 🫶 resonating a little hard with this one bc i was so sleepy taking off my makeup today. need me a hotchy rn 😞

"you've gotta stay still f'me, honey." aaron urged.

"'m tired. let me sleep, please." you whined. resting your head onto aaron's abdomen, and wrapping your arms around his waist. finding comfort in his soft stomach.

"i know, but just let me finish this up. then you can sleep all you'd like." he proposed sweetly. you groaned at his words, and his actions as he holds your face in his hands so you'd look up at him. you instead concentrated on how his thumbs were rubbing you cheeks and the fact that he looked like an angel from the bright bathroom lights and his tall stature. maybe you really were that drunk.

"i don't even care." that was a lie and he knew it.

"you don't? the last time you went out and slept in your makeup you complained, and then went on to blame me for not performing boyfriend duties by taking your makeup off." he explains. giving your forehead one more swipe of the cotton pad drowned in micellar water before throwing it in the trash.

you reluctantly removed your arms from his waist so he could get a facial rag wet, he was going to wash your face for you too.

you feel bad now. and despite the pout displayed on your face he was right, as much as you'd hate to admit, those words were very much yours. looking down at your hands, now in your lap you pick at your fingernails. aaron is being nice by helping you out, and you're being whiney.

"what's going on in that head, hm?"

picking you head head up to look at him, to really take him in. he's in his pj pants and a grey shirt. he was no where near sleeping, but he had stayed up for you to return home, being dropped off by a friend. compared to when aaron had to come pick you up the last time you went out with friends and got drunk, that was fairly early in your relationship and you were thankful he wasn't still in his office or on a case.

"'m sorry." you're sure your pout looks more so looks like a frown now.

“what for?”

“i’m being inconsiderate.”

aaron instantly hangs the damp rag onto the rag bar, moving to stand in front of you.

“and why do you think that?” he questions. eye brows doing his signature hotchner furrow.

“because you’re so nice. and i did say i wanted you to do those things, yet i’m whining about it now.”

“oh, honey.” aaron begins. crouching down so he'd be on your level as he spoke to you, his knees cracking in the process. causing you to bite down on the smile that formed from the noise.

“y’know i don't mind doing any of this, right? and that i enjoy being able to take care of you. in any state that you're in, even when you get whiney.”

his words help reassure you. “yes. but, don't you ever get annoyed when i whine?”

“honey, i could never get annoyed by you. you're also drunk so it makes sense that you're more whinier than normal.”

“hey!” you gasped. hitting at his shoulder, pretending to be offending at aaron’s jab and the fact that he's finding it amusing.”

“okay, okay. not funny, noted.”

there's a moment of calm where the two of you look at each other smiling.

“y’know, i love you?” you question.

“you only tell me it a hundred times a day.” aaron responds with a wide smile. getting up from his spot and in the process giving you a quick peck on the lips.

“i love you more. let's wash your face so i can get you to bed.”

#ᥫ᭡ dodgeirs writes. #criminal minds #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner fluff

[love-toxin]

Leon looks so pissed off in that last gif and Luis looks ecstatic. Oh to be stuck between the two of them. Luis so fucking happy he gets to play with you as he thought you were adorable the first time he saw you but Leon pissed off that he's having to share you. Maybe you were the price for Luis' help.

ok im sorry but i have to go insane for like. at least a moment bc luis 🥺 my love 🥺

(cws: gn!reader, post-canon, re4 spoilers!!, confessions, flirting, a kissy kissy, canon divergence, some blood and injury, mild innuendos, a lil intimate touching & mutual pining. leon's bad with feelings.)

Luis is sooooooo happy go lucky about the whole thing but Leon couldn't be more pissed. you're his mission partner, his. so where the hell does this stupid Latin-hearthrob local get off on asking him to set you two up? the danger may have passed and Ashley may be safely loaded on to a helicopter and taken away, but does he really have no better way to spend the last evening you've got to waste here? he just has to bug him about trying to get in with you?

"come on, prince charming. didn't you say you would thank me for my help?" Luis teases, nudging him with his elbow as the two lounge side-by-side on one of the sofas in the palace's many sitting rooms. Hunnigan had pointed out that the castle would be the most fortified place for you three to wait out the evening, as another chopper wouldn't be available until the next morning. but despite it being comfortable, Leon's only got his mind on passing the time as quick as possible so he can get you away from Luis and nip that possibility of you two hooking up in the bud.

"pick something else." he huffs, arms crossed over his broad chest as he elbows Luis back even harder--and a smirk twinges at his lips when he hears the Spaniard groan and buckle in pain, his wounds still fresh from just barely escaping Saddler's attempt to get the "sample" back from him.

it was because of you that he even survived, you had shoved him out of the way and landed a hit on his attacker with your shotgun aimed right at his head. and even though it obviously hadn't killed him, and you'd suffered your own injuries as you were flung away and Saddler retreated, you still rushed to Luis first to stem the bleeding from his abdomen and whisper those soft, worried reassurances that he would be okay. you'd taken care of him, brought him back to life, soothed him and babied him and smiled when he managed to get to his feet--and Leon had hated every second of it because it was for someone else. what he wouldn't give to have you look at him that way, to croon over him and want to protect him and kiss his wounds better.

so duh, he's jealous, and that's why he's been so stubborn and childish over Luis' attempts to claim his prize. but even now, when all is said and done and he's finished what he started, he still can't get even that.

"Luis?" Leon's head perks up at the sound of your voice--your sweet, delicate voice wafting over as you step through the doorway. clearly you heard him whining in pain, your eyes say it all. they soften with your brow and you move briskly to crouch in front of your friend and rest your hands tenderly on his knees. "are you okay? is it hurting again?" damn that doting look you give Luis. he shifts uncomfortably in his seat as he tries not to think of you looking at him that way, in that same position, with his legs spread apart and you on your knees like that...

"only when I breathe, mi corazon." he laughs albeit defeatedly, and only now does Leon feel a little guilty for prodding some of those wounds. he definitely looks paler than he should, but it also hurts to see you so worried for him.

"oh, Luis--here, let's get you somewhere more comfortable, yeah? it'll be better for you to lay down anyways. Lee?"

he's so lost in the way your hands glide up Luis' legs to check on his bandages that he flinches when you call his name again, your expression questioning when he finally snaps back to reality until he utters a "huh?". and then you gesture for him to help you prop Luis up to take him into the bedroom next door, which he does for you begrudgingly and remedies only by dropping Luis just a little rougher than needed when he lifts him up on to the bed. it bites him in the same way as the Spaniard groans and you hurry to evaluate his pain, but at least now Luis looks a bit more pathetic laying back on the sheets--much like he's moments away from passing out cold. it's been a long day for all of you, after all, although he would be lying if he said he wouldn't be glad that it'd shut him up for five minutes.

it feels even longer when he watches you lean over him, and Luis' fingers trail up your hip to give your waist a playful squeeze--and when you two share a too-intimate smile at each other as you work on tightening his bandages, Leon's had more than enough. when you straighten up and turn to him to ask him to fetch something, the words don't even hit his ears because he's already leaning in. both hands come to rest just underneath your jaw and sit right below your ears, so the entire lower half of your face is dwarfed by him as his lips meet yours in a hot, wet flurry; one, another for good measure, and a third just grazing your bottom lip as you finally flinch at the sudden contact. a sound escapes you but whether it was his name, or a question, or just a sound, he doesn't know. because as soon as it's over, Leon's turning on his heel and leaving the room in a hurry to go get whatever it was you wanted. he'll just have to guess. something for Luis.

"my, my..." the man in question wonders aloud, a smug grin tweaking his lips as he watches Leon's back disappear from the doorway. "...finally got the courage, I see." he whispers devilishly under his breath.

"L-Lee? Lee! I...d-did I do something..? I didn't hurt his feelings, did I?" you whimper so sweetly, and Luis can't help but laugh even though it has him keeling over in a second, the pain in his chest bringing up a hacking cough that thankfully goes away quickly, and without any blood in his palm to boot.

"oh, mi amor, you're going to rot my teeth...don't worry your sweet heart, he's just got something on the mind." he shifts his position and looks up at you with a wink at the ready, but your unexpectedly sour expression staring back at him wilts that charm in no time at all.

"I hate it when you two act like you know something I don't." all that pouting you're doing now is just too adorable to resist though, especially since you're throwing yourself right back into securing his injuries yet again--perhaps, based on the concentration on your face, because you want to focus on figuring out the reason for why your coworker just did what he did. those warm cheeks and glimmery eyes speak for themselves, though. you must have enjoyed it, conflicting feelings and all.

"and--hngh--what if we do?"

"then just tell me!"

you huff, straightening out his clothes for the last time and gently dragging his shirt back down to cover his stomach. just when you reach his belt, however, Luis grabs your wrist in a tight grip and yanks you towards him--and when you squeak and collapse on top of him, your hands hitting either side of the pillow under his head while your knee rests on the edge of the mattress, that flustered face and those quickened breaths at your newfound closeness just melt any remaining hesitation from his heart. his thumb grazes your palm on the hand he's still got in his grasp, and with a smirk he slides it over yours to lace your fingers together while the other creeps up your neck.

you've got eyes on him alone, heart beating in your throat for him. the kiss he plants on your half-open mouth is warmer, sweeter, and deeper than the one you had from Leon--not better or worse, just enthusiastic in a different way. and his grin only grows wider when he breaks away and spots Leon standing there over your shoulder, watching with flushed cheeks and a vial clutched in his hands as he waits in the doorway. how polite of him, especially shutting the door so quietly as he slowly stalks up behind you both in your moment of heated, Spanish passion.

"...now, how's that for a confession, cariño?"

#luis sera #leon kennedy #luis sera x reader #leon kennedy x reader #leon x reader x luis #ot3 #resident evil #re4make #ellie writes #anons

[itsthesinbin]

Ooo I have a question, how would Simon feel about the reader (if they’ve been dating IK) after he’s him again? Would he still have feelings for them?

i didnt know if you meant unrelated reader or doe the human reader, but im going w doe bc. im selfish. if u want me to do a non-doe version feel free to resend the prompt and lmk

Simon Petrikov (Adventure Time)

So, say the story still goes the same, despite you existing. Betty and Simon get eaten. Simon and Finn get shoved out of Golb and Betty wishes to keep Simon safe. Golbetty leaves Simon and you on the battlefield. The aftermath.

Once Simon has time to really process and think things through, he is... very conflicted. He loved Betty- still does. But he vaguely remembers your time with him as Ice King. He still remembers you from before he found the crown- way back from book club. He had a small thing for you back then, but it never went anywhere because he was too much of a weenie to act on it.

He's mourning Betty- what happened, what could've been. But he also has you there to help him. You and Betty weren't close by any means, but you three were friends to an extent.

You both cried over relationships lost. Him losing the woman who dedicated her life to him. You losing the man who just wanted someone to see him- love him- as his own person.

Maybe he was selfish- maybe he was just clinging to something recognizable. But he didn't want to lose you. Maybe you wouldn't go back to dating right away, but he thought he'd die if you left him too.

For a long time, you two are stuck in a limbo of feelings. Simon felt bad but he couldn't sleep without you by his side- if he was alone he'd just break down again and again. You were his rock, just as you had been when he was the Ice King. Someone to cling to when the madness- or sadness- took too hard of a grip and tried to drag him further into his own mind.

He craved your affection, but hated himself for it because he felt like he was betraying both of you in different ways. He didn't want to string you along, but couldn't live without you. He felt he was betraying Betty, but Betty was no longer in this realm of existence. Was she even really alive? Would she even know who he is, now that she was bonded to that thing?

He didn't want to be alone again. Not after a thousand years of insanity and crippling loneliness. And neither did you.

You didn't want to lose the only person who had any clue of understanding how you felt. Felt about being trapped in a future that wasn't meant for you. About losing a dear loved one that seemingly no longer existed.

So you both stayed.

#adventure time #simon petrikov #simon petrikov x reader #headcanons #Doe the Human

[isa-ghost]

If you're still doing Philza headcannons, how about some specifically about Phil, Chayanne, and Tallulah? I miss the kiddos...

qPhil headcanons masterlist

(NOT) SINGLE DAD EDITION LETS GO

Those two are the light of his fucking life ok. If you were someone that had something against him, they're how you get to him. They're how you hurt him. He will do ANYTHING for them. He'll kill his friends, he'll fly on broken wings, he'll die for them. Nothing matters more than those two kids.

He's not typically a very physically affectionate person. But to the kids? Suddenly he's a cuddler. Suddenly he's head kisses and carrying them on his hip just because he can. Suddenly he's braiding hair and painting nails and playfully tormenting them with tickles. They flip a switch in his brain.

Nothing could ever make him waver on how proud of them he is. Both of them. Chayanne so brave and strong, stressed to the teeth like his dad but persevering like a true warrior. Tallulah is so loving and open, even in the face of so much pain and adversity. She's been through so much, largely alone, and yet she still has the strength to smile and be silly after everything. Ideally he wishes they would've never experienced any pain at all, but Quesadilla says Damn You All

Chayanne & Tallulah can make him laugh until his stomach hurts, and they can do it faster than friends he's known for YEARS. Tallulah especially is the queen of comedic nonverbal timing. All it takes is a certain look with a slow turn after Phil says something stupid and he's Dying.

His favorite thing is when either of them fall to pieces emote bc smth stupid happened. Or whenever they Orange Justice after smth fucked happens.

Listen. LISTEN. Don't be fooled by this man. He LOVES adventures with the kids. He loves them. The reason he refuses to venture out with them or go dungeon raiding with them super often is because survivalist brain is like if the worst happens, the Feds do not have your back. If you lose the kids you have nothing much to live for on this island. Do not risk their lives, even if it sounds fun.

He fucking loves watching the kids talk to the other eggs. The constant taptaptaptaptap of signs being placed while they chat together makes him giggle. He also loves watching them just crouch and silently communicate.

Dude Rose's love for the two of them makes his heart so full. Like legit the first time she told him "they're under my protection" he nearly cried. And not just from relief that they'd be safe from EK.

And related: Oh my GOD does he fucking love the term "fledglings" for them. It's SO CUTE. Rose was so right for that. Something about it drives home the thought of "these are MY kids" even more. He just 🥺

Chayanne's mask reminds him of Techno's boar one sometimes and it makes him wanna cry /pos. If Chayanne ever mentions being guided by Techno's spirit to fight EK Phil will never recover

He loves this "new era" of Tallulah, between her cutting her hair short a while back and now dying it + changing her hat. It feels like she's getting more independent despite everything and considering Phil used to have to Really hover around her to help her out, he's the world's proudest papa about it

He's told them stories about all the hardcore gods (that he knows of) at this point. Rose bc ofc he did. EK bc he kinda had to. The others bc at this point he's expecting them to poke their heads around at one point or another too. Chayanne loves Blaze. Tallulah still loves Rose the most. She's gone on a rant about "Papa how the fuck is Ocean Overlord a god when he fumbles things so badly???" He wishes he knew, Tallulah.

He wants to take them on a flight so bad it hurts. Literally. He's more angry EK fucked up his wings maybe permanently bc he robbed them of that than he is that EK did it to spite him.

He really really really hopes they do hatch some day and become lil dragon hybrids bc then he can watch them fly and teach them how to do it well (the best he can while he's grounded) (he might get a little envious)

He fucking LOVES sparring with the kids. He goes easy bc he's insanely skilled and experienced compared to Two Literal Children but they catch on and improve So Quick and it makes him so unbelievably proud and excited to see them demonstrate their skills in a real (hopefully non-lethal) situation.

#qsmp #qsmp philza #philza #q!philza #qsmp chayanne #qsmp tallulah #q!chayanne #q!tallulah #chayanne the egg #tallulah the egg #qphil headcanons

[theemporium]

Oh god you’ve done it now with the royal!au for lestappen ok brainrot share time GO (this is so long I’m sorry)

So before queenie (I’m sticking with queenie bc I’m pretty sure princess is already one of you pairings) and Charles even got married she was already getting all the signals that he really didn’t want this betrothal and while she’s disappointed at first (bc ✨misogyny✨ in monarchies) since she’s always been told her betrothal would end with them falling in love over time (her royal parents being a HORRIBLE example of this and she realizes it and is skeptical but still hopeful!!!) but she also knew that for this too happen they both would need to at least be interested in making this work

So for months while they’re getting ready to be married they talk and they talk and Charles of course is escorted by his personal guard and head of the kings guard, Sir Max (sir implies knighthood right?). And she’s noticing that max is walking a little to close to Charles and Charles is looking back at max a little too often but she doesn’t think it’s her place to say anything, she’s good childhood friends with her own head handmaiden (or whatever the noble women that attend to female royals are called).

But she also notices the looks of jealousy sir max throws her way and THAT really confuses her. Until one day she’s looking for Charles in his office (Is there a different word for it in royal things??? Idfk OFFICE IT IS) and they’re just aggressively making out. It’s that moment where it all clicks but of course she squeals in surprise and that’s what tips them off to her presence

And of course max starts to threaten her while Charles is talking over him trying to calm him down until reader is like “I don’t care” which deep deep DEEP down she’s lying bc she thought that her and Charles were starting to get along despite the fact that Charles still seems disappointed some days.

And then the three of them talk and she begins covering for the two when necessary and max is still standoffish with queenie but Charles and her just become better and better friends.

And then the wedding and coronation (joint affair, mentally I’m choosing to believe that pascale was queen regent until Charles got married) happens and max is finally opening up to queenie as well bc - well - he’s her guard as well now.

And then they just kinda go from there until Charles starts feeling bad that queenie is always covering for them. Max notices. They don’t talk about it for weeks until max starts doing the same. And from there it’s just an “oh shit” moment when they realize what the other is thinking at the same time and talk about it

Sorry this ended up a lot longer than I thought DAMN

babe, I think you’re thinking of someone else because I don’t have a princess girlie in any of my pairings😭at least none of which I remember

BUT PLEASE THE POTENTIAL IS !!!!

I’m gonna make it worse! her feeling isolated because she’s from another kingdom and maybe people are quite standoffish with her. they don’t know how they feel about their queen coming from another kingdom. they don’t like.

and could you imagine charles is off somewhere and max is guarding her. and maybe someone makes a comment to her. maybe it’s someone who works in the castle and max sees how upset she gets, even though she tries to brush it off

and it opens this whole new side of things where he realises just how isolated she is, how charles was the only person she really knew and she doesn’t even have him anymore and UGH😭it could be such a pivotal moment for her and max’s relationship

#cece answers #royal!lestappen #lestappen.thots

[cloudyyoimiya]

hi there, hope you’re doing well! i just read your scenario with yandere ranpo and a darling in danger and i am OBSESSED!! 💜 the dynamic is so freaking good, my favorite bit is when darling asks about the candy being drugged, i feel like it did so much to build up their past relationship and pique my interest. the way that ranpo’s darling was so resigned to their fate was heartbreaking but so well written, i love how much it implies about darling’s experience in captivity while also leaving so much up to the imagination. i have to say i was so thoroughly intrigued by the open ending! the idea that ranpo’s darling defeatedly agrees to go back to their prison, but also clearly still hates it and has simply lost all hope of ever escaping, and is now beginning to give in for the sake of making their miserable life easier..it has infected my brain man (/pos)!! so i saw that your requests were open in your bio and i was like i simply have to ask: would you be willing to write a continuation to that scenario that shows what it is like when ranpo brings his darling back to his home (prison)?

i’ve also written fanfic in the past, so i totally understand if it’s a situation where you had the inspo for the blurb but not really any ideas for past that! so, no pressure to write, but if you would possibly like a further prompt, the idea that i was picturing is a depressing fic where darling is giving in more and more to ranpo because they’re too tired of all of the punishments and they just want their life in captivity to be easier since they know they can’t ever escape him..but if you do decide to write, feel free to write whatever you feel like! Thank you, have a great night! 💜

AUGH thank you for your kind words, anon! they truly mean a lot! i showed this to my friend bc it made me so happy, i hope you don’t mind!! i was having a bad day when i first read your kind words so it cheered me up a lot LMDBF. anyways, here you go! i had fun writing and thinking about what would happen

Coming Back Home; Ranpo Edogawa

Format: Headcanons and scenario

Possible warnings: Yandere content, dark themes, discussion of kidnapping, manipulation, mentions of injuries

Disclaimer: This is a continuation of Ranpos part of this fic! I recommend you read it first!

When you were cleared to finally go home by Yosano, you felt as if you wanted to die. You’d be dragged back to your eternal prison by some man-child that claimed to love you like no other.

You knew what he was capable of, and he’d constantly remind you of it. He’d always tell you that he could frame you for the murder of people you hold dear. He’d make sure that you’d go to prison. The only way for him to prove your innocence and get you out of prison was to stay by his side. Though, all of this is a what if…

He’d make sure that you were his, even if it meant tampering with your criminal record.

Escaping while walking back was out of the question because of this.

When the both of you go returned ‘home’, you were more submissive than usual. You didn’t like it one bit, but it was your only choice at this point. You knew that he’d become more protective over this incident. He doesn’t want you to get kidnapped again…

If you even tried to defy him then things would turn out for the worst.

It was terrible.

If you started to comply more, then maybe he wouldn’t keep you in that one single room anymore. Maybe he’d be slightly kinder…

Don’t get me wrong, he was really “nice” to you even before you got kidnapped by that gang. He made sure that all your needs were met, it’s just the mental blockage of him forcibly taking you from your home that stopped you from returning his “kindness.”

Scenario…

The walk “home” was filled with a deafening silence. You could barely think straight as you walked throughout Yokohama. Your mind kept scattering to when you were first kidnapped by that gang—how they beaten and bruised you. Your body still ached from the beatings despite Yosano using “Thou Shalt Not Die” on you. It hurt to walk. It hurt to breathe. It was suffocating. You hated it.

Ranpo opened the front door to your shared “home” and motioned for you to enter. You reluctantly did so, not wanting to somehow manage to anger him by your hesitance.

You sat down on the nearest couch and stared at your lap. Your pants had several cuts in them, so it was clear that you would need new ones sooner or later. It was unfortunate because they were your favorite pair too! They provided you comfort when you so desperately needed it.

“Are you alright?” Ranpo asked as he sat next to you. “You seem sad.”

You bit your tongue, not wanting to say something that you would regret. “I’m fine, Ranpo.”

Ranpo took out a lollipop from his pocket and unwrapped it. He then plopped it in his mouth and hummed in approval. It was his favorite flavor.

“You don’t seem fine,” he said, the lollipop still in his mouth. “Talk to me.”

“Ranpo I told you I’m fine,” you said back.

You didn’t want him to see your weakness, but you already knew that he saw through you. He was the greatest detective out there, and that’s what scared you. He knew everything about you just by one glance. It made chills slowly creep up your spine, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

“Someone is lying to me!~” He spoke rather childishly. “(Name), I told you how I feel about liars.”

You tensed up at his words. When he first took you in captive he told you that he’d punish you if you ever lied to him. At first you didn’t believe him at all, but you ended up finding out the hard way that he was indeed speaking the truth. You still remember the day where he refused to feed you because you lied about something that was happening at work. You felt nauseous from the lack of food in your stomach at the time

“Fine. I’m just shaken up is all, alright? Nothing bad.”

Ranpo squinted at you for one moment, trying to see if what you said was the truth. He then nodded to himself then went to hug you.

“Oh my (Name), you’re gonna be okay! Well, you’ll be okay as long as you love me! You do love me, right?”

“I do love you,” you said. You knew that you didn’t mean your words—you never have. You only said it to appease your captor.

Ranpo hugged you tighter. He knew that you didn’t mean your words one bit, but he still accepted them. He knew that one day you’d eventually come around to his affections. That day may not come any time soon, but he’s willing to wait. He’s willing to wait only for you.

You slowly hugged him back, not wanting him to give you any lip about not returning the sign of love. In a gross way it felt strangely comforting, but yet at the same time it felt suffocating. It almost made your skin crawl.

“That’s so good to hear!” He said happily. “Anyways, what do you want for dinner, hm? I’ll order something! You deserve to be pampered after almost dying!”

“Uhm… How about your favorite? I want you to be happy,” you lied through your teeth.

You had to be considerate of his feelings. Otherwise he’d punish you.

“That sounds good,” he hummed.

Ranpo pulled out his phone and he started to order the food. Eventually he looked up at you and gave you a lazy kind smile.

“Go change your clothes.”

You nodded as you stood up. You then went into your bedroom and picked out Ranpos’ favorite outfit of yours. You stripped down and put on the outfit, then walked back out of the room. The outfit wasn’t sexual at all, but it still made you feel uncomfortable.

You sat down next to him and he leaned his head on your shoulder. “The food should be here soon, darling.”

“Alright.”

He wrapped his arms around you delicately. You’ve been so good ever since you returned home with him, and he knew that you were sore, so he decided not to put more stress on your body.

“I love you so much. Promise not to leave me, alright?”

#yandere #yandere bungou stray dogs #yandere bsd #yandere ranpo #ranpo edogawa #edogawa ranpo #ranpo x reader #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd headcanons #bsd season 4 #bsd s4 #bsd x gender neutral reader #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs ranpo #ranpo bsd #ranpo edogawa x reader

[happilychaengs]

love isn't enough

a/n: this is a repost bc i wanted to add more but you know me ‼️ writer's block and all that so it might just be kinda bad bc it's just been sitting in my drafts. also lmk if i missed a name bc i wrote this for sana originally

jihyo x gender neutral reader

angst

love is a fickle thing.

it's not the classic fairy tale sappiness nor is it the unbreakable bond people make it out to be in the movies. in reality, it's malleable. it's a sick and twisted thing, almost always used to hurt you. and maybe you don't notice it yet, but you will and when you do, it will tear your heart in two. it'll tear you piece by piece until all that's left is your cracked and broken psyche, afraid to love again. afraid to open up. afraid to be vulnerable.

and you know because that's what jihyo did to you.

it began with the promise of forever. with the stars by your side, and her hands interlocked with yours. they seemed to never let go, like she couldn't even imagine it. it was a distant, far-off thought that she couldn't possibly think of no matter what she did because then and only then, was she simply and truly in love with you.

you imagined it so when you stared in her eyes, the feelings she had for you so potent, you could almost see it bubble and rise up to the top. she kissed you then, and it was the only thing you could think of.

i'm only yours, she said and you believed it. because it was the truth but you should've known it wouldn't last. her love was already beginning to break. you weren't capable of keeping its shape.

her love began to twist, warping into whatever fit her narrative. the narrative of you and her. the narrative of why she was out for hours on end. the narrative of who the other girl was. just a friend, she would say.

but that's not to say she was the only one at fault because somewhere within you, you knew that whatever you felt was truly already broken. you just hadn't come to terms with it yet.

your love began distorting into the perfect mold for her. one that was so easily breakable and fixable again. one that jihyo could mold to her needs.

you love me, right? she would ask. and it's an attrocious word. love. it's a word that holds so much meaning over you and yet none at all when she leaves you alone in the night. she could've used that word with anyone else when she's laying in their bed, in their clothes, and whispering their name. and yet she can say she loves you the same.

it's disgusting and it's ironic.

you don't know why you didn't bring it up sooner when it was always an inch away, curdled up under the sheets, murmuring someone else's name. you don't know why you didn't bring it up sooner when her tone changed, that airy lightness replaced with a heavy guilt despite the continuous hurt she still brings you. you don't know why you didn't bring it up when your heart began to crack and she heard every bit fall to the ground.

you don't know why you stayed.

but maybe it was the way she promised you that fateful day that still holds something over you. forever. forever is a long time. time that you imagined jihyo would spend with you but she wouldn't. she couldn't. her love wouldn't allow it. it would rope her along, sweeping you up in the process.

what is your problem? do you not trust me? it's a mutter during the night sky, the darkness seeming to absorb any meaning those questions had. it's a pointless endeavor for her to even try ask but she relents, believing it would work. though the silence you give her serves as the reminder of mistakes she's made.

her love cracks like how yours did many times over.

you know. and there's only but an echo of guilt on her face and you realize it then, that maybe her promise really was always going to be empty. her hands glide across yours, grazing against your pale knuckles. did she ever love you after all? her shoulders relaxed, almost as if there was a weight off her shoulders.

and you didn't ever tell me. you never would've. the words are nothing shy of an accusation but there was nothing closer to the truth. maybe her love was all but an illusion. fabricated.

a tear falls, dribbling down your cheek as your heart begins to shatter.

maybe it was your love after all that was fickle.

#jihyo angst #jihyo x reader #jihyo imagines #twice x angst #twice x reader #twice imagines #twice scenarios #twice reactions

[myfairkatiecat]

Okay okay okay. My KOTLC oc’s from when I was 11, all recently recovered from my notes app.

Edit: upon reading it again i think the vibes are telling me I was actually 13. Still. These are old OC’s and I’m surprised by how much I adore them

These were all created when nightfall was the latest book so… do with that what you will.

But I’m falling back in love with them 🥹

@swans-chirping-in-the-distance @sophieswundergarten @thesmartpaladin @autistic-daydreamer (since you guys asked about them :D)

Names (in order):

Avana Crane

Kaslyn Crane

Timon Kester

Haylyn Zuni

Danisa Madella

Bios are below the cut!

Avana Crane

- works for the Neverseen as a double agent for the Black Swan. Works for the Black Swan as a double agent for the Neverseen. Both organizations think they are on their side. Only she knows what side she is on… and even then, she’s not really sure. She just wants change and knows one way or another, one of these groups will eventually succeed.

- she hides the fact that she ever manifested an ability so no one can prepare for what she can do. She uses the fact that she is “talentless” as her reason for distrusting the council to get both the neverseen and black swan to feel sympathetic for her. (She is a mesmer. Her chaos capabilities with this being a secret are impossible to match.) I headcanon that neither organization ever had a real reason to probe her mind, but if anything about it comes up in her memories when someone looks through her mind, she blushes and says she always daydreams about having this super powerful special ability since she never got one, and since she’s seventeen and there’s no reason for them to assume she’d hide an amazing ability during a time of her life when she should want to be accepted, everyone just goes with it.

- Never really works close to Sophie and her friends in the black swan, but gets to know Keefe while he’s with the neverseen. He’s really bad at pretending he doesn’t care about the Moonlark, but as someone who is playing both sides expertly, Avana can’t judge him… she does MAJORLY ship Sokeefe though.

- Mr. Forkle absolutely knows she has loyalties all over the place. He also knows she has a special ability. He shares this information with no one because he is very impressed with how effective she is at making things happen and doesn’t want to jeopardize that—and she clearly meant it when she said “I will do everything in my power to help my world” when swearing fealty. He is the ONLY one who knows. Nobody with the neverseen has a clue.

Kaslyn Crane

@kaslynspeaks I literally named this character when I was eleven, but now that I look at her name again all I can think of is you lol

- Avana’s little sister (fourteen years old)

- Beguiler & Polyglot

- mainly exists to give Avana a reason to burst into tears and play the “I just want the future to be better for my sister” card with both rebel groups (despite the fact that her sister is… three years younger than her) and to be Timon Kester’s eventual love interest!

- has an impossible crush on Keefe Sencen. Avana has heard his name multiple times out of the mouth of her little sister by the time she meets him with the neverseen, which is part of why she’s so quick to trust him. However, Kaslyn is more than aware that he’ll never love anyone but Sophie… she just deludes herself sometimes!

Timon Kester

- Timon was adopted by his aunt and uncle after his parents decided they didn’t want him anymore. He manifested as a polyglot at age 13, and his parents said this was an essentially useless ability on its own. Timon didn’t want to stay with them anyway. They were the worst

- Timon and Kaslyn are good friends and talk to each other in other languages just to mess with their friends. Timon likes Kaslyn a LOT, but Kaslyn is, as previously mentioned, hopelessly in love with Keefe Sencen (who barely knows she exists). Timon wonders if he should start acting out bc of home troubles… maybe that would get Kaslyn’s attention…

- Timon sorta wants to join the Black Swan after hearing little stuff about it since it’s become sorta mainstream to know about it by nightfall. He’s like hey that’s cool, I like what they seem to stand for… however the ticket in at this point seems to be having a shared traumatic experience with Sophie Foster and Timon has zero idea how to get one of those

- Timon thinks Kaslyn’s older sister is REALLY sketchy, but he can’t say that because he’s afraid of seeming prejudiced against talentless people. Avana gives him weird vibes though.

Haylyn Zuni

- Haylyn is a hydrokinetic in level one at foxfire that Linh has taken under her wing

- She is eleven and also is VERY young to manifest. Linh recognizes herself in Haylyn and bonds with her quickly, helping her control her powers

- Haylyn asks Linh about joining the black swan exactly once. Linh says it involves a lot of almost-dying and Haylyn goes back on this, saying she’s happy to support the black swan but definitely doesn’t need in on the almost-dying thing.

- Haylyn thinks Marella is AWESOME. Since Linh and Marella hang out a lot, Haylyn sees Marella around quite a bit. One time, Haylyn tells Marella how cool pyrokinesis, and how part of her wishes she got to be a pyrokinetic. Marella is absolutely shellshocked and realizes that the prejudice against her ability isn’t being taught as strongly in school as it used to be, and that real progress is being made. Haylyn tells Linh that she’s glad she’s a hydrokinetic though because it means she gets to play water with her. Haylyn is ADORABLE.

**side note: I characterized eleven-year-old Haylyn as VERY juvenile for someone who was currently eleven at the time. I am… sort of thrown off by this??? Like I LOVE Haylyn, but come on Little Katie, you were literally her age…**

Danisa Madella

- Danisa is Haylyn’s friend her age!!

- she hasn’t manifested an ability yet but when she does, she’ll be a shade—which will throw everyone way off because she’s the most bright, sparkly person ever

- she’s super optimistic and fun and upbeat. She loves swimming with Haylyn because Haylyn makes a bunch of pretty shapes in the water

- Elvin vsco girl energy **STOP I FORGOT THAT WAS A THING**

- Danisa looks up to Sophie Foster a LOT. She’s her role model. She daydreams about finding out she’s actually going to manifest five abilities so Sophie can have a Moonlark friend, and that one day the black swan will tell her she is special and invite her to come risk her life for their cause!

- Danisa and Haylyn are friends with Galin Kester (also not yet manifested but will be a telepath, maybe I’ll make a bio for him if he becomes more relevant in my headcanon) who is Timon’s cousin (but since Timon lives with his aunt and uncle, they’re like brothers) so Danisa sees Timon a lot and has him teach her languages. She doesn’t tell him why she wants to know as many languages as possible, but secretly, she really wants to impress Sophie one day if she joins the black swan.

The Groups

- The Danisa-Haylyn-Galin friend group makes elaborate plans about how they’ll casually insert themselves into enough conversations to worm their way over to sitting with the Black Swan affiliated elves at foxfire. They never execute these plans.

- The Kaslyn-Timon-Shanla friend group consists of many of Shanla’s schemes to set Timon and Kaslyn up together. (Shanla is a guster and has even resorted to literally having the wind knock Kaslyn off her feet before. Timon forgot to catch her so the whole thing failed)

- Kaslyn and Avana used to be closer, but now that Avana graduated from Foxfire, they don’t see each other as often. (This is possibly because Avana is busy with her extreme quadruple agent scheme)

#kotlc #kotlc oc #keeper of the lost cities #original characters #Katie’s KOTLC oc’s

[skitskatdacat63]

Mark Alan, Count of Queanbeyan

+ explanation & lore

Okay first I'll explain the drawing itself, and then go into Mark's lore a bit, so stay with me!!!

First of all, yep. Mark with long hair. When I first conceptualized how he'd look in this au, I just genuinely could not imagine him with the typical long curly wig. And that irked me, bcs its just sooooooo historically inaccurate for him to have had short hair, no wig. I sketched him and Jense out as chibis, I drew Mark with short hair, and literally wrote "haha wow he looks so bad with long hair!!" Hello, can I take back that statement? It's actually shocking how good he looks???? Maybe it's a testament to my skill that I could make this work. But I did! And man, shameful to admit, but this might be my best portrait ever 😭😭 Funny tho, guy I've barely drawn, and never as detailed as this, ends up being one of my favs. Mark, you bastard!!

^ lmao as you can see, I tried out a more Seb type wig and then realized ahhhhh nah, he needs a different style. And it worked so, yay!!! I've thought a lot recently, "man it would suck back then if you looked shitty in a wig" and I rescind that. I'm telling you, you think a man would look bad in a wig? I say think again, you're just not conceptualizing the right type of wig for him.

Also wow, its crazy thst I can finally actually visually see what he would look like next to others like Seb and Fernando in this au. Hehehe look at them!!! The boys!!!! Just need Jense :,)

Anyways, I digress, some lore notes about Mark since I don't think I've really talked about him in this au on main much.

He is, of course, Seb's closest servant. His Groom of the Bedchamber(yes that term makes me feel rabid.) He's actually also based on a real guy, whom was described as the Emperor's "favorite" and despite not technically having very important positions, he had a lot of influence because of his closeness and connection with the Emperor. So, yeah, I think that's gives a pretty good pic of Mark in this au :)

He's actually pretty satisfied with his role, but he does feel a bitter and jealous when interacting with others like Jenson and Fernando. Because Mark doesn't have a title, well not in the same way. He's a count, not a King, not a Prince. Yes he's nobility, but not in the same way. And he's satisfied being under Seb, because that's what Mark was raised to do, take care of and keep Seb in line. But often realizes he's never going to be on par with him, not in the same way Fernando can, even if he's Seb's closest confidant.

To build on that. He's very satisfied with his role, and even continues to be satisfied when Fernando comes into the picture. Fernando and Seb don't get along, Mark is always going to be the closest to Seb, always going to know him the best, take care of him the best. But he realizes, he would never get to marry Seb, he's not ranked high enough for that. He was raised to do what's best for the Emperor, he's never going to be able to compete with Seb the same way Fernando can. He really wants Seb and Fernando to succeed! To grow closer! But it still really hurts sometimes.

His closest friend, other than Seb, is Jenson of course(and eventually Fernando, after they stop growling at each other like they're Seb's dogs.) But he does get bitter about Jenson sometimes. Jenson is a prince, who had some great performances in battle. But eventually got tired of that lifestyle, and "retired" to being part of Seb's court. Mark can't really understand that. How do you throw that level of prestige and freedom away. How do you just become the Emperor's servant, when that was never what you were born for. But also, I think Jense definitely uplifts him, they just get along so well, and Jense truly cares for him, no other motives :)

LOL sorry I realize how depressing this sounds 😭 I think all of the above is just Mark at his most bitter, but he's genuinely pretty happy. Think of the whole "not bad for a number 2 driver thing", that's him in this AU. He knows his station, and god damn it, he's gonna be the best, most loyal groom there ever was!! He just cares for Seb so deeply, and it truly is his life path to serve him. Seb cares for him too, feels like he can always rely on him and always be reassured by him and his eternal presence in Seb's life. It's nice to have someone you can always fall back on. Sometimes literally. Yes he makes Mark carry him to bed.

Not to stray away from just Mark, but aaaaahhh the Martian in this AU. Just Mark having to put up with Seb's brattiness all the time, and care for him all the time :) He's so tired of catching Seb naked tho...Seb please put clothes on, this is not befitting of your station. Seb takes Mark with him everywhere, and they share the same bed on trips. Mark is always the first Seb goes to to ask his opinion. I said earlier that Mark feels like he cannot challenge Seb in the same way Fernando can, but Seb really wants him to honestly! He loves hearing Mark's thoughts and opinions. Mark is widely known as Seb's favorite, and is often seen as the second authority in the palace and in the court.

As for Webbonso? I think they really dislike each other in the beginning just because the roles that they're in. They both feel like they're pitted against each other, and ir doesn't help that Seb loves to tease them and often favor one in front of the other(he later realizes how shitty this is, and tries to rectify it, because he never intended to make them actually jealous, he just loves being bratty.) Eventually they realize they're in extremely similar situations(both beholden to and stuck eternally with the Emperor), and find comfort in each other in that.

Yep that's right...the palace is honestly one big polycule djkfkglg. But I hope thay explains Mark in this AU well enougg???? All you need to know: Seb's long-suffering servant.

#heres mark in a wig. if thats your thing! a thing that. no one asked for :) #BUT WAAAAAHHHHH MAN IM SO PROUD OF THIS HONESTLY #how the fuck does he look so handsome??????? #i never in a million years thought this wouldve worked. but yep! it does! #but i will say. bro looks like he should be on a dollar bill dhfkkglv #okay anyways yes i understand that this is extremely niche and very confusing to anyone outside my circle #but i hope you like it even if not????? im super proud of this one 🤭🤭 #my first time rly drawing him honestly. every other time has been chibis or an obstructed view #BUT THIS. THREW MYSELF INTO THE DEEP END. and i didn't drown! #gotta draw jense next. and his silly bicorn hat. cause hes that kinda guy #i was gonna put mark and jense together. but man i hate keeping art to myself that i finished already #im proud of it! must click post! no hoarding!! or ill never post it lol #aaaahh man im getting drawing men im surprised #im so happy w his expression. w his squiggly eyebrows. he looks very introspective #f1 #formula 1 #mark webber #boy king au #catie.rambling.txt #catie.art. #*sometimes I realize. man if i just took away the historical clothing and wigs and stuff #my art would have such a wider appeal 😭😭 #but then i realize. nah i dont give a shit. i draw what i want!!! and you guys will take 1700s Mark and you will LIKE IT

[hidingoutbackstage]

Okay so Tucker and Kaikaina in Shisno Paradox. Idk how long this is gonn be but it’s gonna go below a cut jic (and so I don’t spoil anything for June lol)

I think the easiest thing they could’ve done to make this dynamic better is just have them reciprocate each others lust from the beginning. Is it funny that Tucker gets rejected by Kai when she proposes time travel sex bc he thinks she’s talking about him? Is it funny that he fucks up her attempts to have sex with people from the past? Is it funny that he has been bragging about having done her back in Blood Gulch and that’s not actually the case (despite the fact that Kai literally says that they did during the s13 climax)? I guess? But you know what else is funny? Tucker and Kai actually going back in time and having sex with people from history. Like I feel like that has just as much, if not more comedic potential than the two of them just being annoyed with each other. I know this is the “everyone is arguing with each other because fuck friendships for some reason” arc but like it didn’t have to be.

Personally I was laughing when Kai and Tucker were talking about using the time travel gun for sex, like that was funny! The episode was literally TITLED “Sis and Tuck’s Sexcellent Adventure” and then they just drop that in favor of these two arguing. Like come on that’s not as funny at all.

They didn’t have to have reciprocated feelings (as much as I personally like them as a ship), there’s nothing wrong with characters having physical attraction to each other and acting on it. Hell up until now it was implied that they did actually have sex. I suppose the idea that they didn’t is kind of a funny subversion of expectation but the direction they go with it isn’t rlly entertaining, at least for me.

And if the intent was to get to the angsty Kai backstory, you could’ve still gotten there! Maybe she and Tucker try to do the time travel sex, but she gets tired/worn out before Tucker does and he doesn’t listen to her when she suggests they take a break from time traveling for a bit, dragging her along to the time periods HE wants to go to without considering her feelings. Still kinda sucks as Tucker characterization bc he should realistically be better than that, but it’s better than what the hell we got that’s for sure.

Anyway she could still blow up at him for being selfish and then they might argue and then later on they can have the heart to heart where she talks about her childhood and being promiscuous due to her insecurity about her own self image, and instead of saying “Tucker what you said reminded me of my trauma” it’s more of a reflection, kind of “Hey as my friend I want to let you know why I’m like this in the first place and why I was so insecure/nervous about saying no to going along with your adventure” and Tucker could still apologize and all that.

Then maybe a confession of feelings from Tucker so he gets a moment of vulnerability too, and like I said as much as I ship them I do kinda like Kai’s “I used to have feelings for you too” cuz ik this season didn’t actually care about these two as a ship, and Tucker demonstrates maturity by showing he’s okay with her rejection.

Although if they DID wanna make them a ship, there’s not a ton that actually has to change in the script for that to happen. (in my version not the version of SP we canonically got) They already get along like friends, they had sex before, and when they had an argument from Tucker being a bad friend, they worked through it. All you’d rlly need is for Kai to eventually come to the conclusion that she rlly likes Tucker, and that at some point, it stops being just as friends and she really wants him, and seeing as Tucker already has feelings for her but cares about her enough to not act on them, there might be some hesitation there but I think they’d make a rlly good pairing after that. Their sense of humor is already similar, they already get along, and they’re just so cute together ugh I’m getting distracted anyway it would make the moment everyone gets thanos snapped to repeat their timelines till infinity where he says “K I need to tell you-” all the more emotional, at least to me, bc that moment lives rent free in my brain anyway I just wanted better writing for these two is that too much to ask

#sid rants #sid watched #rvb #red vs blue #lavernius tucker #kaikaina grif #tucksis #i will get the ship name off the ground. end the ‘sucker’ agenda #tuckerrr

[perfectlyripeclementine]

Sorry if this is too personal for an ask, you seem to have developed a very mature and nurturing way of navigating past relationships... ofc this might just be from the outside looking in but still. In my experience and cultural background (monogamous, cishetero, conservative) -and despite outgrowing most of that education- I still struggle with grief when it comes to unresolved feelings for previous partners.

I understand that it's a very nuanced thing and it involves lots of factors for each particular person, in any case i thought I'd ask for your thoughts on this from your perspective and maybe some good literature to go along with it?

hi friend ❣️ i’ll start by saying, if you’re asking this question you might be feeling a bit tender, so i hope you’ve got some softness - that you’re receiving it from others, and that you give this to yourself. thank you for your trust.

read more bc this might be a long one.

there’s a lot of different things i’d like to say. i’ll start by saying the framework of polyamory really helped me here. the biggest lie of compulsory monogamy is that exclusivity means safety. monogamy sells you that the goal is to Date and then be Exclusive and then Marry and then you’ll be Safe. but marriage doesn’t mean safety: people divorce all the time; cheat on each other all the time; people stay in unhappy marriages (and relationships) all the time. i believe there is no such thing as safety in relationships - monog or otherwise. at the risk of being dramatic: in one way or the other, you will either lose them or you will die first. grief is not only a risk of love, it is a guarantee.

when i fall in love with someone i ask myself: is this person worth grieving? so far, the answer has never been no. but i walk in knowing i will either die first, or grieve them. it’s a bitter pill, but it gives me freedom, because it also means that the end of a relationship isn’t necessarily a failure. if i’ve learned, if i’ve grown, if the relationship gave me happiness, i consider it a success.

on that note, experience does help. i’ve had three or four Big Breakups(tm). and they don’t get easier, but now when i get my heart broken i know i can survive it. i may be in the Big Ouchies for a while but i won’t keel over and die. like a bad flu.

my work when i’m in the Big Ouchies is to not let my body deteriorate. i need to drink water especially if i’m crying; eat food even if i’m not hungry (that one’s tough for me); take myself out for walks even if the flowers aren’t out. if i can only eat butter pasta, so be it. if the only way i can sleep is taking melatonin, so be it. everything else, the processing, the learning, etc, can wait a second. when i’m in the Big Ouchies, i see what i can take off my plate. my priority for a few weeks is just to get through the searing heat of it. (two week statute of limitations on exclusively eating junk food tho. we do need vitamins and protein.)

the next step for me is to take what’s mine. i believe people when they say they love me, and when they say why; no take-backsies. whatever i learned from them is mine now. whatever confidence they gave me is mine now. i give myself credit for the things i loved about them: it’s a reflection of my values that i did. those are things i can cultivate in myself.

i do by myself or with friends the things i wanted to do together. i read that book we talked about. i go to that show i got us tickets for. i wear that sweater i got them. slowly, all these things become mine and stop being reminders that i lost them.

when i want to text them i text a friend a friend instead. ideally not to talk about them (although i do that too) but to make plans so i don’t isolate myself. it doesn’t fill the hole but it helps.

over time the missing gets softer around the edges. there’s one ex from years ago i think about every day. but it’s a soft kind of missing now. it kind of keeps me company. it’s proof i had a love worth having.

i don’t really have Breakup Literature but every time i’m in the Big Ouchies i reread Love Enough by Dionne Brand. I’ve talked about this book before. It soothes my heart each time.

When i’m in the dark pits of it I listen to Banks. When I have the energy to be angry or feel spiteful I listen to Dezi and Havaiah Mighty.

Sometimes the missing never leaves. That’s okay. I can still enjoy the sun on my skin and the taste of clear water.

#ask roo #advice column #long ass post #nonbinary love #polyamory #heartbreak

[prettyboykatsuki]

jack(ass) of all trades | a. levi

✮ tags ; role reversal, gn!reader, reader is taller than levi, best friends to lovers, teasing, heated making out, petnames, modern au!, levi is mid thirties ish + a professor, reader is in I.T., 18+ bc they allude to sex and some nsfw stuff

✮ wc ; 3.1k (???)

✮ a/n ; levi.... i desire you so bad king. also maybe iffy characterization bc i dont write him often

✮ synopsis ; amidst the complicated endeavor of falling in love with one of his best friends, levi forget a crucial detail.

that you're a complete jackass when it comes down to it.

(or that time levi wants to progress in your relationship but you refuse to make the first move)

In an absolutely astounding turn of events, Levi Ackerman is head over heels in love with one of his best friends.

Perhaps, even more shockingly, he's also currently entrenched in a romantic relationship with them.

And really, truly - he doesn't know how the fuck he got here.

Life has a very funny way of turning his world upside down in the span of only a few months. It's happened to him multiple times - like some cruel and sick turning of fate that never ceases to make him feel bitter by the end. Not too bitter, because everything works out in it's own way.

But bitter in a why the hell do i need to go through this way. It's been an unfair and unjust life, both in big doses and small. Levi doesn't take it to heart because that would make him annoying. Anyone examining his life could say it objectively, Levi has had an excruciatingly hard life.

He always pushes through, because whatever. It is what it is, and he has to keep going. But it's true, certainly, that shits been rough from the get-go, but it always has a funny way of working out. His mothers untimely and sad death and being raised by a deadbeat uncle in a slum gave him motivation to turn his life around by any means.

And now he works as a professor with a cushy job. He nearly didn't have enough money for college because his advisor screwed his schedules and he needed an extra year. Nearly became homeless when trying to land a job after being kicked out of dorms when he was still in school.

A couple of robberies and bad dealings with people from when he was still out on the streets, it's been real. But Levi doesn't resent it because shit usually works out in the end as long as he tries to push through it. He's lucky to be living, despite of everything.

Character development or whatever.

A lot of the reason he was able to stay clear of anything too morbid was because of the people he get to meet in his life. His friends and family and all the people who've been with him for a long time.

Of those people, Levi hasn't even known you the longest.

But three months ago, he came to the conclusion that he was in fact, deeply in love with you.

And for another time in Levi's life, he was completely and utterly screwed. For the first time, he really had no fucking idea how this was going to work out.

You met Levi in college when you were both working at some run-down restaurant to make ends meet. You didn't get along great at first, reason being you were very different. Where Levi was quiet and aloof, you were personable and friendly. Too friendly for his tastes, Levi sort of assumed you were the shallow type.

You lacked the eccentricities that usually made him have some trust and there was something about the way you weaseled out of situations that made his stomach turn. Back when he was on the streets, you were the kind of person he'd always avoid.

Unpredictable.

Hange seems unpredictable, but they're actually calculating. Levi learned that quickly. You were actually unpredictable - as in Levi had no idea how to read you for the longest time. What you were up to, what you wanted.

It all culminated at a holiday work event, where Levi was properly shitfaced and catching some cold air. You were also drunk and you apparently decided to cut the shit for the night.

And in some corny twist of events, you had a long heart-to-heart where Levi smoked his first cigarette (your cigarettes) and got to see your laugh (your real laugh) for the very first time. From there, you became quick friends despite Levi's obvious grudge towards you.

You've been friends for nearly ten years now. You spend a lot of time with each other, especially lately since you've landed a job on his campus doing I.T.

In the ten years you've known each other, you've both been in several relationships. Semi serious ones at that, with your longest one being nearly 5 years. His longest only amounting to two, with a lot of interludes in between.

Levi has a complicated relationship with love. He always assumed maybe he was just especially picky, or maybe romance wasn't something he would be fulfilled by. He had a very close knit group of friends and he didn't often find himself longing for that kind of companionship. His relationships always ended amicably, over Levi's disinterest nearly always.

Your committed relationship had a rocky break-up but you were always a naturally affectionate person in the rest. Levi got to witness it real time, when you'd bring over whoever you were seeing. Doting and gentle, nose nudging someones neck with some liquor in you. Seeing that always made him yearn. He figured he just needed to meet someone he clicked with better, though he'd never uttered the words outloud.

But three months ago, you got this new job and now your proximity is really close. Instead of just in-the-same-city close. You saw him nearly everyday and often fixed the projector in his classroom with a goofy smile - calling him an old man in the process.

He usuaully eats lunch with you and you talk about a lot of nothing together. Sometimes you talk about relationships.

And one time, you tell Levi about the sort of dates you take people on. After he accuses you of being a shitty lover, in jest of course.

( "Thinking about you courting someone gives me chills." He says, over a cup of plain coffee. You pause.

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean? You can say a lot about me, but I'm a good lover, Ackerman."

He snorts. He knows you probably are but shakes his head anyway.

"Yeah? And hows that?"

You scoff, smile playing at your lips anyways. You look a little far-away for a minute before looking him in the eyes, head cocked.

"Mm. Some chivalry does the trick, usually." )

It was an awful epiphany with even worse timing. He was forcing the reaction down until he was on his way home. In his car, he slumped over the wheel and cursed as loud as he possibly could because that one moment was all it took.

Levi Ackerman was in love with one of his absolutely moronic best friends.

He's never been so upset. But it clicked all of a sudden, he had this realization. His longing for relationships was never about love but about you. His disinterest made sense when he pictured crossing those lines with you. Holding your hands and taking you on dates.

He was blushing. Just picturing it was making his face flush with embarrassment and Levi knew he was screwed.

You've got to understand. Levi was in love with his best friend who's friendship he valued a lot. And he's not one to overthink, but with no way of affirming or knowing your feelings - he was adamant to bury this emotion as far as possible. To lock it away forever and dismiss it as some crush.

But once the ball was rolling, Levi couldn't. He couldn't be normal around you. He was avoiding you and obviously you noticed and he even went as far as telling Hange and Erwin while wasted. And apparently they already knew, and thought he knew.

Everything was a mess for those two months of limbo. Levi knew he was going to have to address it eventually because by simply avoiding it he was already fucking up your friendship. So, like the no bullshit person he is - he gave you a time and place and decided he was going to confess.

He thought a bar would be good. To drink and eat snacks, and be casual. But the intimacy of the whole thing was making him a little sick, and it took him three beers to even bring it up. Five to muster up the courage and say it.

("I'm...in love with you." He says, words slurred. Heart pounding, fists curled and fully prepared for rejection.

It's silent. When he opens his eyes to look, you're taking sip of beer with a little surprise in your face.

"Oh. Me too.")

In a shocking twist of events, you were also in love with Levi. In fact, you knew that when your 5 year relationship ended. That's why it even ended. But you figured Levi would never be interested in a similar desperation to protect the friendship - you dated around and hoped it would die down eventually.

After that went down, Levi went to your apartment and you talked it out for a bit. Where to go from here, what to do. Levi told you that he wanted to take it slow, calling you a heathen knowing the details of your hook-ups. You really didn't protest. Just shrugged and said he could control the pace.

And for the last month, he'd been doing just that. Nothing much has changed in that time period.

In fact, nearly nothing has changed other than sometimes - Levi will hug you for a bit longer and holds your hand in private.

That's the thing, the issue, the debacle.

It's all fun. It's great, it's nice. And Levi really is wanting to take it slow or at least he thought he wanted to take it slow.

But it's been a month and you've never even kissed. He can't tell if you're just being sadistic or what, but you are keeping your promise of only letting him control the pace and it's really starting to get on his nerves.

___

You're coming to pick your boyfriend up for a movie date in five minutes.

Right now, he's waiting outside of the bar with Hanji - who's laughing their ass off about Levi's furious blush and apparent predicament.

"Dunno, Levi. You made your bed, so lie in it, yknow?"

"Fuck you," Levi buries his face into his scarf "I don't even know why I told you."

"Because I'm your good friend with sage advice,"

"Oh, yeah? What kind of sage advice are you offering, exactly? I'm dying to know." He deadpans. Hanji laughs more before their expression goes soft.

"Make the first move. Not saying your cat adjacent charm isn't working but," Hanji clicks their tongue between their teeth "Knowing Y/N, they're definitely not gonna make a move first if you drew the line."

"But why? I don't get it. They're being so obvious about wanting it too."

"Definitely to mess with you," Hange says, not missing a beat. Levi widens his eyes "Oh, come on. Don't look at me like that. They're your partner now but you know what they're like."

"What they're like?"

Hanji chuckles.

"A tease. A flirt. A prankster. Whatever you wanna call it. They're obviously messing with you and they're obviously planning on committing to the bit no matter the cost."

"You're joking."

"Do I sound like I'm joking?" Hanji sighs, looking at Levi (who's mouth is currently agape from disbelief) "Do you remember that one time, when he had that party at Erwin's house? During Christmas."

Levi nods.

"And do you remember how we got stuck in bathroom in the guest bedroom? And we could hear them hooking up? We were pretty shitfaced but—"

For the first time it clicks. In the midst of dating, of falling in love, of nonsense - Levi had forgotten. For one moment, he truly forgotten one crucial thing about you.

That you're a jackass and a lover of malicious, indiscriminate compliance. If he were being nice about it, a tease.

You're—you're fucking—you're messing with him.

And Levi is so annoyed for a minute he thinks he's gonna break up with you right the. It must show on his face because Hanji laughs harder than ever before and Levi is red in the face because how annoying is that. You're not going to kiss Levi until he's left with not a shred of dignity.

Because you're an asshole, and that little smile you do is definitely sadisitic. Fuck.

With cosmic irony, your car pulls up the minute he's come to this same conclusion. He's hardly there when he opens the door, and slides in your seat. The sound of Hanji's laugh haunts him as he shut the door, and he doesn't process the first 10 words you say.

"Well, anyway, you ready to watch the movie?"

Levi grunts.

"Yeah. Ready."

__

As is the pattern for Levi at this point, no matter how much he tries - once he realizes something, it refuses to detach from his conscious unless he addresses it.

You drive to the movies, buy two tickets, and Levi holds your seats while you go buy popcorn. You watch the trailers before-hand in silence, and you have the decency to hold his hand while that happens.

And you watch the film in silence. Levi is somewhat able to pay attention. It's a good movie, a psychological thriller that he's been itching to watch for a while and it meets his expectations. And it's all fine, until the movie inevitably ends.

You leave the theater, make it outside, and decide to go for a little walk and maybe get something to eat.

And Levi, no matter how much he tries, can't let it go.

Before he knows what he's doing, he grabs your wrist and looks around before pulling you into the closest, poorly lit alley.

He can hear you make a little noise of surprise as your back hits the pavement, a little lost. His hands on the wall behind you. It's times like this he's annoyed about the height difference, but he grabs the lapel of your coat to knock his forehead into yours.

His irritation must show in his face because you look concerned. Good.

"Uh. Baby? Gonna explain or—"

"You," He says, menacing. Seething, really "You're doing this on purpose."

You smile.

You grin. You fucking—

"What are you talking about?" You say, feigning innocence and Levi really considers knocking you out for a minute.

"Don't you play me dumb with me, you little shit. You're doing it on purpose." He repeats. You look so smug. If it wasn't so annoyingly sexy, he would be even angrier.

"Doing what on purpose, though?"

Oh, you. You're gonna make him say it. The nerve.

"You're avoiding it. Initiating. It's been an entire month, we're grown adults and we haven't even kissed. I thought you were just dense, but no - you're doing it on purpose."

You hold back a laugh, using your tongue to run over your lip.

"You think so?"

He hits your chest.

"I know so. We started dating and I forgot you were a complete jackass."

"Kinda on you," You say, smiling at him. He hates you for looking so pleased "Are you saying you wanna kiss me, Levi?"

"Use your brain for a minute."

"No, no. I'm saying," Levi almost chokes when he feels your hand around the base of his neck. How you're stood up, knees bent - inches from his face. His hearts pounding. It's not like he's never kissed anyone before, so why is he so nervous "Do you want me to kiss you, Levi?"

"You're annoying"

"I'm respecting your boundaries." You counter. He frowns.

"Just do it already."

"Sorry, sorry."

Like he said, he's kissed people before. Plenty actually. He used to get drunk in college and makeout with strangers and he's not exactly unfamiliar with it. It's not different, or it shouldn't be different. It shouldn't feel different.

Maybe it's the months long wait, or maybe it's the mountain of feelings he's had to reconcile with in the last few weeks alone. But he doesn't think he's ever been so conscious of a kiss in his entire life. He's probably never been so conscious of any one person in the history of ever.

He knows. It's just a kiss. Hardly anything to scoff at. But he's just so affected, for a minute - it feels like he's forgotten how to do anything but melt. He feels like he's gonna turn into a puddle of water, and his hands are around your shoulders. You are frustratingly good at kissing. You're slow and easy, and your press your lips against him and coax it a little deeper.

And your hands travel down his waist and he doesn't stop you from touching him. He feels blood go somewhere it shouldn't and he pulls away before it can get too bad. He refuses to let your first sexual endeavor be in some shitty alley - but by the time he's pulled back, he's longing to kiss you again.

You give him a smile, ditzy and annoying and so charming.

"Already over it?"

"Shut up. I'm not having sex in alley for our first time."

"Another time, then?" You tease, tilting your head to one side "We can makeout a little though, right?"

"You're terrible. A menace to society. I hope you get arrested."

"I'm sorry," You say, dragging the syllables out "It was kinda cute seeing you get frustrated though. Over little old me, at that? Once in a lifetime opportunity."

"Count your days and watch your back."

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Lemme make it up to you?"

He huffs, and pushes himself up to kiss you easier. God it feels good to kiss you. Like being given some ounce of relief after being starved of it for months. He wants to touch you. He wants to do a lot more than that, but for now - he lets himself hug your body as you kiss. You hold him tight, arms around his waist - creeping under the waistband of his pants but not going further.

The pressure of your body, and the warmth, and your hands. God, your hands feel so good. Your lips are soft and you taste like theater popcorn and soda. Levi has never felt so fucking desperate for a kiss in his life and he hates it a little. But he imagines when people talk about passion, this must be what they mean.

You pull away, just for a minute and Levi nearly chases you before getting a grip on reality. You giggle against his mouth.

"I like kissing you."

"If you ever pull some shit like this again, you won’t hear the end of it."

"I'll take that as reciprication."

He kisses you this time, face in your neck with a sigh.

"Read the room."

"Right, right. My bad, baby."

#writing tag #levi x reader #aot x reader #aot x gender neutral reader #levi fluff #aot fluff

[shizuchansmilk]

heyyyyyy i’ve seen your heiwajima parents art, and i really love your designs! <3 i wanted to ask, do you perhaps have any headcanons that you might like to share? o.o the novels BARELY mention them at all :( i’m scraping for content

DO I!? OH HONEY... DO I 💔💔💔

here's a quick doodle of them as well as a thank u for this ask bc uGH i adore them too (they are barely mentioned and basically everything i like about them i came up with in my own silly little head). this is a pretty long post so do continue reading under the cut if you'd like! ^^

gosh idk where to even begin okok. unironically girlboss and malewife. in my mind kichirou is kinda goofy, the more laid-back parent while namiko's the stricter one despite generally being a pretty quiet person in general.

shizuo definitely gets his temper from namiko i think, and while arguments wouldn't at all be frequent it'd basically be up to kichirou or kasuka to calm them both down whenever they happened ToT

i think namiko has an artistic sort of hobby like painting. don't ask me for any reasonings i just feel like she does, and this passtime eventually rubbed off on kasuka a little since i recall he likes painting too? she'd specifically paint landscapes, her favourites being beaches and the sea. because of this though she tends to spend a lot of her free time a little secluded. sometimes, especially as children, she'd let kasuka and shizuo watch her paint and let them try out their own stuff too, but since shizuo's immense strength became apparent he sort of began to feel like he wasn't as welcome as he once was in a studio full of her fragile hard work so he harbours a sort of reluctance doing any of that anymore.

speaking of, namiko would worry about shizuo. a lot. maybe TOO much in fact. she'd frequently scold him for getting into fights and things like that, and because she's his mother i don't imagine he'd really retaliate. he'd be real pissed off and slam his bedroom door (off it's hinges😭) in a huff, sure, but there's no way in HELL he's pulling a stunt like almost throwing an entire fridge at *her*. she'd be the one dragging him to the neighbours houses and making him apologise for kicking the entire bonnet of their car in or meeting with the head of school because shizuo threw a chair into the wall. idk i kinda get the impression that their relationship is a liiittle strained because their personalities kinda clash but they love each other really. whenever something's bothering shizuo i feel like namiko picks up on it pretty quickly and does little things like make him his favourite dinner or grab a cake from the store on her commute to cheer him up.

kichirou on the other hand is big on sports i think, and listen he DEFINITELY taught his boys how to play baseball. only narita can tell me otherwise like until it's outright disproven this'll always be canon to me. i feel like he's the golden retriever to namiko's black cat in the sense he's a lot more outgoing and talkative and relaxed than her, albeit maybe a little more oblivious. i imagine he was really impressed and boastful about how strong, like a real athlete, his eldest was until the property damage and hospital bills were on the rise.

i feel like kichirou would be pretty attentive to kasuka. like oh he's kinda quiet is he making any friends at school? that kind of thing. where namiko stresses over dealing with shizuo i think kichirou would kind of overthink anything going on with kasuka.

despite namiko being the more temperamental of the two i think kichirou still gets really defensive whenever he catches wind of people talking smack about his family. like you can make fun of him all you want but the moment you get a bad word in about his boys or god FORBID his wife i feel like it's on sight. i don't think he'd go as far as getting into a fight about it but the sudden drop in light-hearted attitude to a very cold and dead serious "haha the hell did you just say?" would be enough to shut most people up. perhaps kasuka gets his acting skills from him, as in being able to switch up at the drop of a hat. otherwise i feel like kichirou's really friendly, though again maybe a little oblivious, probably has met shinra's dad before and thought he was a cool guy but maybe just a tad strange (a sizeable understatement).

in essence, think like phil and claire from modern family or mr and mrs fox from fantastic mr fox. that's basically the dynamic of them i have in my head =w= i might have more HCs but this is all that's coming to me rn. again, thanks so much for the ask!!!! ToT💕

#durarara #drrr #kichirou heiwajima #namiko heiwajima #shizuo heiwajima #kasuka heiwajima