#despite generally not wearing much makeup at all I do love a Red Lip Classic Thing (© taylor swift) and their lippie stix are great for it

[thegunlady]

oh man I just discovered that the ColourPop website flashes "hey where'd you go?" in the tab on browser if you navigate away. which I want to be annoyed at but it's a little bit genius?

#also they get a pass bc I love colourpop - their products and their branding and their prices #despite generally not wearing much makeup at all I do love a Red Lip Classic Thing (© taylor swift) and their lippie stix are great for it #(someone ask me how to do a bold lip color some time bc I have Perfected my Technique)

[thebestworstidea]

Animal Skin

@dukeceitweek day 5 Intrusive Thoughts/Lying

pairings: Janus/ Remus, Roman/Virgil

Warnings: vampires, shapeshifters, blood, lying, sexy thoughts, unbeta’d

----

The first time Janus saw him, he thought he looked perfect.

It was a strange thought. 

No one was perfect, and no matter how good he looked in tight cut off shorts that barely contained his bountiful ass. No one was perfect with a wild fringe of hair, streaked liberally with silver highlights against the dark brown. Especially not with a haircut that looked like a mullet and an undercut had had a mongrel baby. His shirt which rode up when he danced, featured a sparkly decal of the Count from Sesame Street, and the fishnets that disappeared into worn Doc Martins that had clearly been colored with acid green spraypaint were sparkly.

He was a disaster, and he was perfect.

But Janus didn’t live as long as he had by courting disaster. So he turned away, even as his eyes lingered on the edge of a pectoral when the other man raised his hands as he danced.

The disaster’s name was Remus, he learned. 

It wasn’t as if Janus went looking for the information (he had), but their brothers had met at the same club, and had too much fun arguing not to become friends. Despite Roman’s claims that they were fraternal twins, not identical, they bore more than a siblings resemblance to each other, with the same liquid hazel eyes, cupid’s bow lips, and smooth dark skin lightly dusted with body hair. Roman, however, was not a disaster. He was more elegant, enjoying a more classic look, softening tailored suits by forgoing ties, and leaving the hollow of his throat exposed, shirt held closed with a necklace instead.

“Two buttons is kind of slutty,” Roman told him one evening, as they compared fashion. “But one? That’s just enticing.” 

Virgil scoffed at his friend’s pronouncement. But then he liked softer, informal looks generally swimming in oversized hoodies and soft, unfitted shirts. He wouldn’t even wear skinny jeans, even though he liked the look. Frankly, he was kind of upset Tripp pants had gone out of fashion, and still wore them from time to time, a fact that both his brother and Roman ribbed Virgil for frequently. 

“So what does that make your brother?” Janus asked, as a vivid image of the last time he’d seen Remus popping into his head- he’d been wearing a vest and tie without a shirt, and leather pants that laced up the side with multiple shoelaces instead of their original cord. He’d never considered the existence of butt side boob, but it now lived as they said, rent free in his head.

Roman tipped his head back giving a huffing growl.

“A penance I must endure.” Roman shook his head, thick dark hair bouncing as he did. “You’ve seen him”

“Once or twice.” he lied. It was more like every time he could, he couldn’t look away, and every time left him with more images that would surface without warning.

“He’s hard to miss.” Roman sighed. 

“So are you.” Virgil teased, spreading his fingers as he examined his drying polish. 

“Perhaps but I am a treat.” he took Virgil’s other hand and carefully began on it. 

“You’re not a snack, you’re barely an horderve.” 

 Roman gave an offended gasp, and wiggled a finger in his friend's face. 

“How dare you-” he started, and Virgil snapped playfully at the finger.

“Less than a mouthful.” 

“Virgil.” he said sharply, tapping his shoe against his brother’s foot. Virgil turned on him, lip lifting from the corner of his mouth. Janus tipped his head pointedly, his eyes opening just a trifle larger. Virgil’s snarl dropped, and a faint flush made itself visible, stark on his unnaturally pale skin. He picked up his sunglasses and hid behind them. 

“Aw, it’s okay my fair emo.” Roman teased. “I’m not really insulted, I know you love me.” 

“It’s stockholm syndrome.” Virgil grumbled, and Janus snorted, moving his foot away, and looking at his phone. Looking at his phone, because his mind filled with images of Remus again, some of them dressed up to match Janus’s dapper suits, and some dressed down, wild and sweaty and naked. He gave his head a shake and looked at the calendar app on his phone. 

It was fine. 

Everything was fine.

“Will I see you two at the club tomorrow?” Roman asked as he left. 

“No, family thing.” Janus answered, staring at his calendar. 

“Boo-” Roman pouted, and turned to Virgil. “Sure I can’t tempt you away?” 

“Nah I’m good. I’ll text you.”

“Then I await the gifts your fingers give me.” Roman purred at him, and cheekily turned away, getting into his car. Virgil watched it until it disappeared around the bend of the driveway.

“Less than a mouthful, huh?” Janus teased.

“Stop~” Virgil whined, covering his face with both hands. 

“So you’ve been thinking about devouring him?”

“Maybealittle.” he blurted out. “He’s just so… fragrant.”

“How can you tell under that cologne of his?”

“I just can.” 

“We have to be careful, Virgil.” Janus said genuinely worried. “If we aren’t we’ll have to go home permanently, and you don’t want that. Neither of us do.”

“I know.” he snapped. “I just… want.”

“Can’t relate.” Janus lied.

It was midafternoon when Virgil discovered that Roman wasn’t answering his texts because he’d forgotten his phone, the device having slid between the couch cushions. 

“I’m just going to run it over real quick.” He told Janus.

“I don’t think it’s a-”

“Calm down,” Virgil rolled his eyes. “You know I’m careful. I’ll be back in plenty of time. I bet he’s tearing his house and car apart like the princess looking for the pea.” 

Janus grumbled, fiddling with the cuffs of his shirt. 

“Fine. Be careful.”

“Oh please.” Virgil flipped his hood up and headed out. After a few moments, Janus heard the garage door open, and Virgil’s car drive away. 

He immediately began pacing. It wasn’t as if he was worried. Virgil was very conscientious and even more careful than he was.  

Worrying would be ridiculous.

Time ticked by, and Virgil didn’t return- or answer his texts. Janus got into his own car, and might have sped a little bit (or more than a little) as he went over to the duplex the twins shared.  By the time he got there, the sun was starting to set. Virgil’s car was parked outside, so he was still there.They had to go. He knocked sharply on Roman’s door.

“Hey hey-” the other door opened, and there was Remus, wearing yoga pants and a tank top which frankly should have been illegal in Janus’s opinion, never mind that it was the most banal thing he’d ever seen the man wearing, though he was still wearing eye makeup, smoky shadow and silver eyeliner “As entertaining as it would be to me to watch you cockblock my bro, give ‘em a little privacy huh?”

“What?” Janus demanded. “What are you-”

“Look, you’re the crescent to your bro’s full moon and I’m digging it-” Remus pointed out, “But you gotta let the boy get some, and my bro’s been gone on that for months.” 

“How do you even know who I am?” Janus retorted sharply. “We’ve never spoken.”

“I like to keep my eyes on the hottest people ‘sides me in the club.” Remus retorted, flashing his white teeth. “So you would be on my radar even if Ro-bro’s blood wasn’t boiling over your brother. C’mon in, we can have a drink and do hot girl stuff-” 

“No.” He raised his hand and went to knock again. Remus caught his wrist. Janus’s heart jumped in his chest, and his head swam at the cool touch of skin on skin. Images of that touch elsewhere on his skin danced through his mind at breakneck speed. Lies aside, he wanted,and he wanted badly, and tonight was no different and much worse all at once. He yanked his hand from a struck-seeming Remus and forwent knocking again, actually forcing the door open. A waft of musk hit his nose as he did, thick and heady.

“Now hold up-” Remus started, shaking himself from his stupor, and Janus growled at him flashing his own teeth in a much less attractive fashion. 

“Virgil~!” he called in a sing song, stepping inside the dim interior. “You’re late~! We have to go.” He cocked his head and sniffed the air. Where was he? Damn it, the smell of Remus crowding in behind him was distracting, even with the musk clouding the air. He whirled and Remus got a facefull of braids and beads. The scrunch of his nose and the curl of his mustache’d lip was not hot, damn it. 

“Back off-” he demanded. “I just need to pick up my brother, we can talk again later, and I truly am sorry for intruding like this-” he made the mistake of putting his hand forward, palm pressing against his chest, fingers brushing the curl of body hair that peeked out of Remus’s tank top. ‘Nice’ his brain insisted, and threw up more images. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t gotten a look at the rest of the body hair before. Then he heard a noise- a whimper maybe, and the musk was tinged with blood. He leapt for the stairs.

“Fuck!” Remus said behind him and the front door slammed shut. That didn’t matter, because someone was hurting his brother.The door was just an obstacle, just like the one in front of him that crashed open. 

“What the heck!” Roman said, turning eyes wide. Virgil stared over his shoulder, fingers dug into the other man’s bare back. There were beads of blood appearing under his nails, but that wasn’t the source of the smell. 

“Let go of him!” Janus snarled like his teeth were too big for his mouth. 

“No.” to his surprise it was Virgil who answered, not Roman. Roman to his credit, did sit up a little before being stopped by Virgil’s hands.

“We have to go.” Janus said, carefully enunciating every word. 

“You go.” Virgil retorted shortly. Roman licked his too red mouth, and smiled a little sheepishly. 

“I know this is kind of a shock-” he started. “But Janus, listen.”

“No.” 

“My turn.” came Remus’s voice right behind his ear, and a hand slid up, under his chin, cupping the bare skin, as an arm slid around his waist. Janus’s knees went weak as his mind flooded with images, not of Remus’s form, but of his own, in a way he’d never found appealing before. Janus knew he was good looking but he’d never- he didn’t find himself attractive. These thoughts weren’t his. “Oooh boy.” He felt Remus’s face press to his shoulder, and he moaned.

“Don’t hurt him-” Janus heard Virgil snap. 

“He isn’t, my love, I promise, he’s just distracting him.” Roman murmured soothingly. 

Janus’s knees gave out. 

“Fucking vampires.” he growled. He knew where he was, he could feel the carpet under his knees, but his mind was flying.

“That is one sexy pot calling a kettle black.” Remus muttered, having followed him down to the floor. He sniffed at Janus’s hair. “Fuck, I’ve never smelled anything like this.” 

“We’re not that special.” Virgil grumbled, grabbing his shirt from the floor. “Just shapeshifters.” 

“You ain’t special, moony.” Remus retorted. “But fuck.” He shuddered.  “Gonna let go. Don’t try and kill my bro, ‘kay? Fuck head got cream carpet. Who does that?” Slowly the hand slid away, and Remus’s arm released his waist. He could feel him backing off, and heard when he collided with the wall.

“Virgil-” Janus whined, shaking off the feeling of running that he’d been floating it when Remus’s skin touched his. “We have to go-”

“I’m fine, Janus, I promise.” Virgil grabbed his brother’s hands and hauled him to his feet. “Roman- he helped, it was…” he reached for words and they failed him. Janus stuck his nose in the crook of Virgil’s neck and groaned. He could smell his brother’s blood. 

“He bit you. He put his fucking fangs in your neck.” 

“He asked first.” 

“Gonna kill him.”

“Maybe we should get going.” Virgil put his hand in Janus’s braids, stroking soothingly. Roman sighed wistfully. “Can it you sap, he’s all full of the moon, and it’s going to rise soon. Which is exactly why I wasn’t supposed to stay.” 

“They’re going to kill us.” Janus grumbled and straightened up. He forced his anger down. The moon wasn’t up yet. They might make it if they hurried. 

“Where do you need to go?” Remus asked. 

“What?”

“I mean, I’m guessing it ain’t too far or pretty boy would have shown up earlier.” 

“The state park next to our house.” Virgil answered. “We usually walk.” 

“Bitchin.” reaching out, Remus grabbed a pair of Romans shoes and shoved them onto his bare feet. “You still smell like blood and lust, Ro. You stay here and we can have a great chat later”

“Remus, please.” Roman protested, huffing. 

“You dumb bitches can muddle your scents all you want later, but right now, they’ll whiff you out.” he got to his feet. “I’ll drive you guys back. Neither of you are in a state to drive.” He looked sheepishly down at Janus. “Sorry man, I really did think they were just fucking.” 

“What did you do?” Janus asked. He kept a hold of Virgil and his brother led him back downstairs. His skin felt too tight, like he’d forced a shift at a wrong time, it made his clothes almost hurt. He could hear and smell Roman trailing along behind them. 

“Empathic imagery. Kinda like psychometry.” he scratched at his hair. “People have to have the right kind of brain for it, but when I touched you I got some imagery from you, so-”

“You saw that?” Janus squeaked. 

“Yep!”

“Virgil, I’ve changed my mind.” he deadpanned. “Please kill me. I want to go ruining Roman’s rug.” 

Roman made an offended noise. Remus’s cackle of laughter almost drowned it out as he opened the door to the pink-gold of sunset. 

“Never said it was a bad thing.” Remus gave a wink, displaying that at some point he’d gotten Janus’s keys off of him. “We can totes get back to that later.” 

Roman dove in and stole a kiss from Virgil, tucking his hoodie around his shoulders. Janus was too mortified to take a swing at the vampire, and let Virgil shove him into the back seat. 

“I had it handled you know.” Virgil muttered to him as the car zipped off. 

“You could have messaged me.” Janus retorted. 

“Yeah, that would have gone over great. ‘Getting the moon fucked out of me by a vampire, see you tomorrow’” 

Janus growled and wiggled out of his jacket. 

“I think you’re jealous.”

“Virgil, you’re my brother and I love you, and I also love my car, which is why I am not tearing you to pieces right now. You have complicated everything, you’ve exposed us and you’re fucking a vampire.” 

“Not yet.” Virgil mumbled petulantly under his breath. 

“Argh!” snarled Janus at the ceiling, yanking his tie loose. The car pulled over suddenly. “We’re not home.”

“Nope, but we are in the park.” Remus retorted. There was hardly any light in the sky. “I’ll drop your car off and get back on my own.” 

“Why should I trust you?” Janus demanded, as Virgil opened the door and got out on the side away from the road. 

“Well, it ain’t a ringing endorsement, but I’ve had those thoughts kickin’ around my head for a while. Just didn’t know how to approach you. You’re uh. A little intimidating, even for me. I mean it’s not like I give a shit about most things, but you could unhinge your jaw and swallow me whole and I wouldn’t even mind.” 

Janus couldn’t smell any of the sourness that he’d associate with someone lying. 

“Alright then.” He stepped out and tossed his shirt into the back seat as Virgil did the same thing, pale body stepping into the woods, before disappearing into a smaller flash of white- a owl leapt into a tree. 

“Oh man, Ro’s going to be so jealous I saw all that.” Remus laughed to himself. Then he stopped looking over at Janus. His eyes dipped down, then came back up to Janus’s face. “Wait, I thought you guys were werewolves?” 

“I don’t think I ever said that.” Burning off energy, Janus flashed through his favorite forms- a full grown anaconda, a raven, a huge house cat and then finally ended up as a large black fox, amber eyes similar to his human ones. 

“Fuck you’re pretty.” Remus breathed. “So, dinner sometime?” he said, crouching down to look the fox in the eye. “Mice looks like it’s on the menu across the board, or we could hit the sushi bar?” 

Foxes weren’t really suited to rolling their eyes, so Janus rolled his entire head before following Virgil into the woods.

“That’s not a no!” Remus called cheerfully. 

Fuck. Well, if his life was a disaster anyway, Janus might as well date one.

#willow is writing #TS Remus #TS Janus #TS Virgil #TS Roman

[werevulvi]

Do you consider yourself not feminine anymore? If i recall correctly you used to wear makeup, feminine clothes and presented androgynous?

I've been meaning to make a post about this, but just didn't get around to it. So prepare yourself for a long answer, because there's a lot behind my change of style. During this past year or so, I went back and forth between feminine/androgynous and masculine presentation a lot. This was partly to figure myself out, and partly just going with the flow. And what I discovered from that was that despite I really love the feminine look aesthetically... it makes me uncomfortable to actually wear it. Like I get super tense and on hypervigilance.

Basically, I don't think I ever enjoyed being feminine as much as I thought. I think I've used it to suppress my masculinity over shame for it. Also, being male-passing makes being feminine quite a social challenge and I no longer feel it's worth it to catch so much attention for self-expression, when it's so much more beneficial to just let people get to know me by talking to me instead. Additionally to that: I hate being sexualised and infantalised for looking/acting feminine. That is a side effect which I absolutely abhor, and it also kinda triggers me.

Aside from style, I looked into my feminine qualities as a person, as you're right: I used to always consider myself feminine and androgynous. However, what I later on discovered was that most of my "feminine qualities" or traits, are not healthy. For example: I've always leaned submissive and passive in any social interactions. Not just sexually, but like just talking to people. I'd never take the lead, never initiate contact, and I still struggle to be assertive. This isn't "just my personality" as I used to think, but actually me being afraid of being berated for how I am. I always hated being called feminine by others, especially by people who know/knew me, and I think this is why.

Another example is my body language/mannerisms. In that I've always kept my legs closed and kept my arms close to my body. Basically I curl up into a little ball a lot, and yes I always have, ever since early childhood. This, I thought was also something innate about me as a person, but later on discovered is actually a defense mechanism, an attempt to protect my body from harm (from other people) as well as from the elements like coldness and rain/snow.

Knowing that, my idea of myself as feminine started to come apart. I had learned to be feminine. From female socialisation and from my trauma, and I think probably from my autism (sensory stuff) as well. Since then I've started to dare spreading myself out a bit more, and working on being more assertive (not talking over people or being aggressive or anything like that though, just standing up for myself and being more firm with what's important to me, boundaries and values, while still remaining empathetic and kind.) And I've noticed it's making me feel a lot better about myself! Much more relaxed, confident and trusting myself better.

And then it strikes me: why are these, much more healthy traits, considered masculine?

When it comes to more external stuff like clothes and makeup: I stopped wearing makeup, some 6 months or so ago (give or take, my memory is bad.) And it made me realise that I'm actually addicted to makeup. Like... I always knew I've had issues with being too dependent on makeup in the past, but never really saw myself as addicted to it. I've quit makeup before, some 10 or so years ago, but then went back to it, and it's just always a slipperly slope, no matter how careful I am about it.

What made it click for me was when I (last year, btw) started getting some outbreaks on my skin which annoyed me. So I decided "I'm just gonna put a little bit of concealer on it to cover up the worst." So I did that, but then thought "actually my cheeks look really red, so I'll just cover that up too" but I didn't stop there. I ended up adding so much concealer that half my face was covered in it. Then added foundation and powder. Then realised I need to bring back some colour in my now monotone face, so did contouring, added highlighter, blush and bronzer. Then did my eyebrows, added eyeshadow, mascara, eyeliner and... I think you get the point.

This kept happening several times. Also when I wanted to just wear lipstick, I ended up also adding concealer, doing my eyebrows, dyeing my eyebrows, adding contour, etc.

I can't seem to JUST add a little bit of concealer on the "worst" spots without ending up covering and re-painting my whole face. And then after having done that... I feel like shit. Like I just wanna wipe it off because that's not my face, but I've just spent an hour on that makeup, so it would be a total waste to just wipe it off again. So I keep it on, despite having regretted it all. So eventually, when I got that first thought: "I'm just gonna put a little bit of concealer on it to cover up the worst" I stop myself and don't do it. Instead tell myself that my face is fine and no one's gonna care that I have two red pimples on my cheek. Maybe just put some zinc paste or aloe vera gel on it if it's irritated/sore, but no makeup.

As for just wearing wine red lipstick and nothing else on my face, which obviously doesn't cover anything up: the lipstick dries out my lips really a lot, and makes it difficult to eat and drink with. It stains on clothes and I have to be careful when scratching my beard/mustache, etc. That is not like a huge sacrifice, but it does make me tense. Also, people stare at me a lot when I do that, haha. "Why is that man wearing lipstick?" Oh I dunno Harry, you could ask. If people only knew my history. But I'm not saying I'd never do it again. I mostly just need a break from makeup altogether before I start considering only wearing lipstick in my favourite colour again, because doing that is obviously very different from wearing a full face of makeup. But I need to uhh... recover from my addiction first. I need to love my bare face first, I need to be able to not care what I look like.

Then as for clothing: Generally it's very similar. I think I subconsciously connect feminine clothing to "looking pretty" and masculine clothing to "looking plain/boring/mediocre" without consciously thinking that. But for this past year, that subconscious thinking changed, when I got really into men's classic clothing by watching youtube channels of very fashion-obsessed men. Like they talk about suits a lot, and details like neckties, pocket squares, matching socks, brocade shoes, how to get the best fit, what colours go with what, and so on.

I used to never care about suits, but now I'm kinda impressed by them, haha. Like they're simple, yet so complex. They're comfortable, yet so stylish, and they're timeless. I used to be kinda goth and think "normal" clothes were boring. But this changed me. I bought a cheap navy suit, and started craving wearing brown leathers instead of black. I discovered a whole, amazing world of men's fashion, and I fell in love with it.

What used to be "boring" has now become a rich world of amazing fabrics, cuts and styles. Twill, tweed, cuffs, collars, denim, flannel, leather, linen, suede, corduroy, oh my! And then I started loving the even much more simple look of dark blue cuffed jeans, flannel shirt, zippered hoodie, fleece jacket, brown leather belt, wrist watch with brown leather strap, and brown leather boots. It's super plain and mediocre, but the comfort and the shades of brown and blue really speaks to me. I love the look so much I ended up wearing it every day for over a month now, just changing flannels to always wear a clean one, and washing it all bi-weekly.

What is that, is it me?! Lol. Well, I love it. I think it's an important journey of self-discovery. Of finding comfort with myself and wearing clothes that move with my body, instead of forcing my body to move with my clothes. Of finding comfort with who I actually am as a person, instead of trying so hard to paint myself up as the inner mental image I have of my ideal self. I still hold onto that picture, but I also rather enjoy to focus on being clean and smelling good, being minimally groomed and comfortable - instead of looking fancy.

But also, dressing masculine helps with my dysphoria too. Being off testosterone, and wearing a lightly padded sports bra on occasion spikes my dysphoria (although it soothes something else within me) and dressing hyper-masculine helps calming that down.

Also, shaving my head back in November, and letting go of my long locks, because my hair has thinned out really a lot... made something else click in me as well: letting go of external beauty, in favour for letting the beauty within truly shine.

So what if I look like a burly hipster dude? Everyone gets unfairly judged for how we look. It's not even always about gender. But I've started to ask myself what's the point of trying super hard to "show my personality" in my style, when people are more likely to actually listen to what I tell them about myself when I'm dressed plain, instead of being too busy placing false assumptions on me?

I think I'm learning something very important about myself, and finding strength within myself, to just be me. And I never gave my masculinity the credit it deserved, because I believed my forced, unhealthy behaviours and misconceptions of masculinity as "boring" meant I was just feminine as a person. That's what the world taught me to think. But of course, I'm not denying that yes, I absolutely used to express myself very feminine, and I'm not gonna claim that I've always been hyper-masculine.

This is the first time in my life I'm truly enjoying masculinity and feeling liberated, strengthened and invigorated by it. The first time I do it to prove myself to only myself, that I don't need nor want to be feminine, and that's okay. That female masculinity is not being boring or sloppy. The first time that it's not to impress others as "man enough" as the insecure trans man I once was. And that matters a lot to me, even if it doesn't last into my 40's.

I might at some point again occasionally wear some lipstick, a long flowy skirt, or put flowers in my beard. But I need to fully indulge in my masculinity for now, and let it set me free from the chackles of forced feminisation that came with female socialisation, which I grew up with, like most women did. I am just so DONE with having those fucked female beauty standards shoved down my throat, which no, not even transitioning let me escape from. Because transitioning can't let me escape my own (brainwashed) mind. That's something I have to work on to break down piece by piece, and to rebuild myself, by hand.

I'm constantly evolving and learning more stuff about myself and the world, and I'm a sponge for such knowledge. I've never been afraid to take on change, especially drastic changes, and to challenge my own harmful behaviours (like my makeup addiction) as soon as I realise the harm is no longer worth the joy. I can't keep up with me either, but looking back on my life and seeing how much I've grown, is always quite exciting, haha.

However, I'm still wearing cutesy cotton panties with lace edges and a little bow at the upper front. I do that because it's femininity that's ONLY for me. It's actually comfortable, makes me smile whenever I go to the bathroom, and no one else can see it. So it cannot be sexualised or infantalised by other people, despite being such an intimate pieces of clothing, because only I get to see it. (Although of course an intimate partner and very close friends would see it, but that's gonna be people I trust a lot to begin with.)

[shinsousbedroom]

Plus Ultra! Go Beyond the Screen!

celebrity AU drabble series, 3K~, quirkless actor Midoriya Izuku gets interviewed

[Read on AO3.]

GO BEYOND!

A conversation with Japan’s rising star Midoriya Izuku on standing up on set and off as the next symbol for peace. A GQ Japan exclusive.

By Taneo Tokuda | Correspondent

[Image of Midoriya Izuku, leaning next to a window, his body arched off the wall. His head is tilted up and over towards the camera, the left side of his body illuminated from the light coming in, the right side fading into the shadows. He’s wearing a sheepish grin, tugging at the tie around his neck with a single hooked finger, jacket sliding off his shoulders. He’s wearing Best Jeanist’s exclusive non-denim line, and the monocolor layering of velvets in the lighting make his green hair, red shoes, and tie pop in rich color even more.]

I’d been warned that Midoriya Izuku has no regard for outdated formality. He’s far from callous or jaded — sweet and optimistic are two words often used to describe him — but propriety is something he has never been concerned with.

I’d been warned, but I didn’t understand.

Any journalist who’s worked the entertainment beat for a while knows there’s a cadence every interview follows. The details may change, but there are conventional practices that help an interview go smoothly for both the interviewer and subject, to make the most of a complicated relationship between celebrities and the media.

This interview starts behind the scenes, as most do, with the e-mail I send out to Midoriya’s manager, laying out a request to speak with his charge. The enthusiastic response comes just an hour later and references details from a number of stories I’d written across the entire span of my career.

It isn’t his manager’s response. It’s Midoriya’s.

That was my second warning to assume nothing, but I still stumble into Midoriya’s apartment expecting a clean, contemporary, moderately-sized apartment. It’s rare to host interviews in celebrity homes, and when it happens, it’s meant to be a statement — power, wealth, pride, affected sincerity.

Instead, Midoriya opens the door halfway and apologizes because he moved in recently and there’s still a stack of boxes blocking him from opening it any further. The door handle nearly catches between the buttons of my shirt as I squeeze through the crack. Once inside, I trip over his trademark red shoes and nearly take him down in the process.

He catches me in his arms and says with a wry grin, “Don’t worry, I am here!”

That, of course, is a classic reference to his latest role: All Might. All for One will be a Netflix reboot of the old '80s superhero film franchise that turned Toshinori Yagi into a household name. In a casting coup that stunned fans and industry insiders alike, Midoriya fell into the role shortly after making headlines for saving a life during a villain attack on the set of long-running soap opera The Quirked and the Quirkless. The villain had been looking for Toshinori, and in his absence, grabbed a crewmember hostage. Midoriya attacked the villain despite having no quirk.

Soon after, Toshinori reversed his longstanding refusal to produce an All Might reboot and gave the studio a green light — with a stipulation. Just as the franchise had brought him up from obscurity, so must the franchise fill its ranks with youths aiming to catch their big breaks. Enter: Midoriya Izuku.

Midoriya sets me back down gently — yes, he picked me up when I fell, even though I’m a full half meter taller than him — and I’m more inclined to see his suitability as Toshinori’s successor.

Physically, he still looks nothing like his mentor. Where Toshinori is buff, Midoriya is lean, tall to his short, loud to his soft. Toshinori held his strength in the brash, nigh-cocky attitude that got him into as much trouble as himself as it did in the show as All Might. Midoriya carries strength like woven spider silk; it’s graceful and dangerous, but all too easy to overlook for those unused to subtlety. But he carries the same bright aura of unwavering love and determination.

More to the point, I also felt his arms and abs in the fall, and he may not look like he has the muscles of All Might, but they are definitely there.

“You can take a seat anywhere in the living room if you’d like,” Midoriya says, ushering me down the hall with a light hand on my back. “Breakfast will be ready in just a few minutes, but I haven’t put together the kitchen table yet, so living room it is.”

“Breakfast? Did we decide on a working breakfast?” I replied.

“I couldn’t invite a guest into my home without offering snacks! Since this interview coincides with breakfast, I made breakfast.” He pushes me towards the sofa and wags a finger at me when I try to follow him to the kitchen anyway. “No guests allowed to hover or help in the kitchen. It’s too small!”

The rest of the apartment is half unpacked, and haphazardly at that. Boxes are open, dumped out into piles on the floor where they will likely be permanently placed. I perch on the arm of a ratty sofa by the only portion of the room that’s been set up. It’s a veritable shrine to pro heros, fictional and real alike. Two of the five shelves are devoted solely to All Might merchandise.

Midoriya appears behind me, as if by quirk. “Ah, do you collect hero memorabilia? I’ve been a big fan of All Might since I was little, and then I started following hero society in general when I got into middle school, so I’ve built up a lot over the years especially rare items like if you look at the back corner there’s a particularly cool figure of All Might from the emerald era which if you remember was received so poorly that most of the merch was shelved in one location and subsequently destroyed during a villain attack…” He goes on without end or pause, taking me through the history of each item on the third shelf. At minute six, he abruptly tenses mid-sentence. I can almost feel the heat from his red face as he starts stammering apologies for wasting my time and gingerly puts his collection away again.

“You've got a lot of stuff I haven’t seen. It’s interesting.” It makes me uncomfortable how much he clearly doesn’t believe me. “It’ll be good content, that you have such a long history being an All Might fan.” He shrugs my words aside, and gestures behind me to a giant spread he’d laid out on the coffee table before seeing my interest in his collection.

We sit. For a moment, the only sound in the apartment is the clatter of silverware, the muffled bustle of Tokyo’s streets at midmorning a soothing counterpoint. I’m considering how to break the lingering tension I caused. But then —

“I’m a quirkless soap opera actor who seemingly got the biggest role of the decade for doing something completely unrelated to acting. I’m optimistic, not an idiot.” There’s a taut line to his shoulders again, at odds with the quiet, delicate way he drinks his miso soup.

His eyes trail back to the curio shelf of hero merchandise. A heaviness builds between us in the seconds it takes him to think. “I grew up in a neighborhood hostile to me and my mother. I mumble my thoughts out loud and have an obsession for heroes that edges past societally acceptable as an adult. I have no quirk, she had no husband, we had no money. Any insult you could say about us, I’ve heard it.”

He looks me dead in the eyes and leans forward. I can’t help but mirror him. “It would be disrespectful to everyone who supported me to get here if I let the back talk get to me. I worked hard for this role, and I earn it with every new day of effort I put into it. All Might is the symbol for peace, and I intend to embody that legacy. No one will be able to doubt me when I’m done.”

Anyone who’s familiar with Midoriya’s reputation knows not to be surprised by his humility, but it’s a revelation to see this drive, his earnest focus pinning down my full attention. The last bit of the puzzle that was his casting choice is answered in one overwhelming look. If All for One does it right, his magnetism is going to Detroit Smash every heart in Japan.

“The waffles!” He springs up and mutters his way back to the kitchen, cutting past the moment. “I forgot the waffles, Kirishima gave me a waffle maker the shape of All Might’s crest as a housewarming gift, they’re so cute and surprisingly detailed…” In just a few seconds he plops the plate down amid the overfull table and settles back into his seat with a smile. “So? Should we get started?”

Interview has been edited for length and clarity. For the full article, visit us online. Catch the first season of All for One on Netflix, streaming xx xxx.

[Image of Midoriya Izuku sitting outdoors on some sidewalk steps in workout gear, leaning back on one arm, the other hand raised to cover his face from the sun. He’s wearing bright green short shorts and a very loose tank top, the arm holes cut out so deep that the angle lets the photographer capture the sheen of oil and sweat across his ribs and back as light filters through the shirt. One sock is pulled up taut, the other scrunched down, same classic red shoes still on his feet. His legs and arms and hands are haphazardly wrapped in carefully grimed bandages, as is his makeup, smudges of dirt across his cheeks along with make up to bruise his lips a deep, pouty red. Boxing gloves hang over his shoulders, and a bandana mimicking the famed mouth guard from All Might’s most iconic outfit hangs around his neck.]

TT: Congratulations on your first starring role! How does the move from semi-recurring character to protagonist feel?

MI: It’s a huge challenge, one I’m incredibly excited for! My character in Quirkless wasn’t supposed to be mine. I’d already been involved with the show as a quirkless consultant but one day on set, they’d had a huge scheduling conflict, and Director Ryuko remembered I’d originally auditioned for the show for a character that was ultimately cut. She brought me in as a literal last minute replacement, and soon enough a three-episode run expanded into a semi-regular spot next season. At least with All for One I’ve had tons of time to prepare.

TT: Take us through what it was like getting the role of All Might.

MI: I think the media explained the villain attack that brought me to the studio’s attention plenty. What's more important is when after I recovered, Toshinori-san contacted me and connected me to his talent agency, and my new manager was the one that successfully nabbed me an audition for the new show. They had us go through a few standard readings and chemistry checks, and then I got the part.

TT: You auditioned?

MI: I did! That’s what makes the rumors of favoritism even more frustrating. I promise I didn’t get the role because I stopped a villain attack on set! Well, I hope I didn’t.

[File photograph of Toshinori Yagi and Midoriya Izuku post-hostage situation. The stage is in disarray, black goop covering the furniture and floor of a fake hospital waiting room in a thick layer of sticky slime. They stand off-center in the foreground, Midoriya rubbing a fist over his eye, exhausted, possibly crying, as Toshinori pulls him into his side for a hug. Both have shock blankets draped across their shoulders. Emergency respondents case and clean the scene in the background.]

TT: How does it feel to take up the mantle of one of the most iconic comic book characters of all time?

MI: I’d be lying if I didn’t say nerve-wracking, but I’m more excited than anything. I’ve dreamed about this since I was 5, when the doctors first told me I’d never have a quirk and never be a licensed hero. All that love was redirected toward All Might. Some people might say being too big a fanboy will make playing him hard, but I’ve been preparing for this my entire life, and that’s what I’m trying to hold on to instead of anxiety. Toshinori-san has also been a spectacular mentor to me through this whole process.

TT: It's been said that Toshinori-san implemented a rigorous vetting process to work in any position on the crew. Recommendations, mentorship networks — because everyone is new to film.

MI: That’s only true to a certain extent. I wouldn’t say most of us are complete newcomers; we’ve all been around the industry for a fair number of years making our careers off it one way or another. We definitely wouldn’t have gotten hired to such prominent roles without Toshinori’s interference, yes. Because of his stipulation, the studio wanted to minimize as much of the havoc inexperience might cause such a beloved, big budget reboot by offering us close, mandatory support networks featuring industry professionals who’ve been working in their field for decades.

So far, the idea has really worked out well. We get to implement fun new ideas we don’t realize are impossible yet, and the mentors temper our more […] impractical ideas with logic and experience. The cast also has gotten a lot of support from the old cast of the '80s run!

TT: You’re known for being an advocate for quirkless rights in the entertainment industry. Has that impacted the way you approach your career and what opportunities you take?

MI: It isn’t just the entertainment industry I’m interested in for my advocacy work. Society’s rabid obsession with quirks is a problem across all of Japan, for both the quirkless and those with quirks. But as an actor, I happen to have personal insight with the roadblocks that prevent quirkless individuals from succeeding in film. We make up a fourth of the Japanese population, but less than 1% of the Japanese Film Union, in the mere century from when quirks first showed up across the globe. There’s no other explanation for such a miserly diversity rate than discrimination.

Studios have gotten so used to using quirks to sift through application stacks, looking for who can offer the most with just a quirk name and description. Toshinori-san has easily admitted that the electricity he emits when engaging his strength quirk was one of the reasons he won the role of All Might over better known actor Todoroki Enji. It was one less special effect the studio would have to spend money and time on. Viewing accommodation as a costly complication is historically dangerous to all types of minorities across the globe. How am I supposed to compete when people think I can’t offer anything unique compared to the host of wild quirks out there?

TT: Wow, that’s quite the speech.

MI: I’ve practiced a few times.

TT: Really?

MI: Quirk discrimination was my thesis topic at UA.

TT: You went to UA? That didn't show up in my research.

MI: Oh, I […] was in their support program for a while.

TT: Why did you decide to pursue acting instead? They don’t have a fine arts program, do they?

MI: As much as I love support work, it’s a stressful field. [Laughs] I started looking for an outlet that had nothing to do with hero work when an old friend dragged me onto a set. I’d completely forgotten how much I loved acting, and it wasn’t long before I decided to pursue that over support work, for however long it would have me.

TT: Would you ever consider returning to support work?

MI: Yes, but it gets harder the longer you’ve been away. I still keep up my qualifications, and keep up with my old classmates. Some consulting here and there. But for now, I’m happy using my background to help me act a better All Might.

[Photograph of Midoriya Izuku sitting in an office chair, facing three-quarters towards the camera even as he lays half across a desk. The decor is rich: old, dark wooden furniture, ornate work across the frame of the chair and desk, half-filled bookshelves in the background. His cheek rests against his arm stretched along the edge of the deck; one leg is tucked under the seat and the other is extended out. His outfit is artfully ripped name brand jeans and a tight shirt, color blocked in All Might’s classic red, white, and blue. Tiny figurines of All Might in his various costumes across all his comic book and screen appearances dot across his body as if they’ve climbed across his body, and Midoriya is an Atlas holding the weight of these ideals across his shoulders and arms and legs, a Gulliver tied down and overwhelmed. But his expression is vibrant, determined. Not quite a smile, but nowhere near defeated.]

TT: Does it bother you, having your quirklessness constantly be the focus of your career and identity?

MI: Of course! I’m a lot more than the superpower I don’t have. I’m a pretty private person, but I want to do great things. I want to inspire people, to make everyone feel safe and like they belong. If that means I have to feel some discomfort, it’s more than worth it. I’m a big kid with a therapist, so I’m prepared to balance my needs with those of my career.

TT: I’m not helping, am I?

MI: Like I said, I’ve deliberately opened myself up to that focus when I’ve put myself out there as someone willing to talk about these important issues publicly. You’re not asking anything I wouldn’t expect of any good interviewer.

TT: Speaking of privacy, your co-worker Todoroki Shouto is infamous for his taciturn personality and complete seclusion from the public eye, even during personal interviews. What is it like working with him on set?

MI: I have a bone to pick with you journalists about that! Remember what I was saying about how quirk reputations hurt those with strong quirks as much as those without? Todoroki Shouto is a wonderful person, and I’m so glad we get to work together. But boy, that reputation of his does him a disservice. He’s more than just Endeavor’s son and a powerful quirk. […] He’s his own man with a lot to say — it’s just no one’s asked him the right questions, yet. Once you do, you’ll find he shines brighter than any of the characters he’s played. It’s frustrating to see a good man overlooked again and again in favor of easier topics like a flashy quirk and flashy father.

TT: One last question. Isn’t it a hassle to squeeze past those boxes each day to use the front door?

MI: I don’t use the front door.

TT: Then…?

MI: Wouldn’t you like to know? ■

#bnha #my hero academia #bnha fanfic #midoriya izuku #taneo tokuda #quirkless midoriya izuku #celebrity AU #BUT THERE ARE STILL QUIRKS GIVE ME MORE CONTENT ABOUT QUICKS FUNCTIONING IN NORMAL SOCIETY AND THOSE IMPLICATIONS #lolo's fic writing tag

[trillian-anders]

amor de mi vida - 1939

pairing: bucky barnes x latinx!reader

warnings: slow burn, racism, prejudice, fluff, language barrier

word count: 5805

description: Bucky Barnes is a sweet young Brooklyn boy, just on the cusp of manhood, a hopeless romantic that falls in love with almost every girl he sees. when he sets his eyes on a young girl fresh off the boat from Cuba he finds out how hard love can really be.

for @cake-writes​ 1940s challenge.

Bucky loved Brooklyn, he loved everything about the borough. The Dodgers, the noise, the diner down the street from his house that made the best cherry pie he’d ever had, he even loved the way it smelled. The salty breeze from the that rolled in every morning and evening, the Statue of Liberty lighting up the bay. He was a Brooklyn boy through and through, even if his birth certificate said he was born in Shelbyville, Indiana. His parents moved here before he could even remember, Brooklyn was all he knew. 

He was on the cusp of manhood. The final years of his schooling before he was ready to take on whatever life threw his way. He didn’t have any expectations. To him it was so simple. Take up more hours in his Dad’s shop, find a beautiful dame, get married, pop out a few kids, have everything his parents ever had and everything they ever wanted for him. He felt so young, full of hope and ready. Ready for anything.

Munching on crackerjack he sat, feet swinging on the edge of pier five, his best friend sketching idly next to him. He tried to ignore the younger boy’s rattling breaths. He was fine, those breaths were normal for him, that’s all that mattered. Steve had recently had a pretty bad scare, when his Ma came down with TB and passed there had been a big concern that the sickly boy had caught it from her. There was quarantine and Bucky thought he was going to lose the best friend he’d ever had. 

Thankfully that wasn’t the case. 

The pair sat in a comfortable silence, the kind that comes with years of companionship. Just the company soothing them from their day. A test in math, the girl that just broke Bucky’s heart, another girl that wouldn’t pay Steve any mind. Bucky’s eyes drifted to his friend’s sketchpad, the Manhattan skyline taking shape slowly but steadily. 

It was warm, the beginning of summer. The switch from wearing sweater vests to short sleeve button downs, wool socks traded in for more breathable cotton. Bucky leaned back on his hands, feet swaying slightly over the edge of the dock watching the ship moving slowly in the water towards Ellis Island. 

“I wonder what it must be like,” Bucky said, “To leave your entire life behind and go somewhere completely new.” Steve’s pencil stopped on the page, looking over at his friend. 

“Must be scary,” Steve started, “Not knowing anyone I mean.” Bucky hummed in agreement. 

“Ma said she’s gonna make meatloaf tonight,” Bucky stood from the dock, helping his friend to his feet, “You’re comin’ to dinner right?” Steve nodded, stuffing his sketchbook into his bag. “Good, cause you really didn’t have a choice there pal.” Bucky’s arm swung over Steve’s shoulder, dragging the smaller boy behind him as they hopped into the junker that was Bucky’s pride and joy. 

The 11 year old Ruxton he’d found rusting away in a scrap yard last year, totaled in an accident and discarded. He’d only recently gotten it back up and running, but it was still a terrifying ride. He dared not take it farther than a few city blocks, but it was still nice to drive. They pretended like they were rich folk above it all, driving the recently painted sleek black car down the streets, wind in their hair only because the windows wouldn’t roll up. 

The next day Bucky fell in love again, and he couldn’t even remember who broke his heart yesterday. Dorothy Seeley. A beautiful blonde dame, bright green eyes, legs for days. She was in his english class. He could see a future with her, something Bucky always wanted. He could imagine loving her forever, her pretty pink mouth pressed against his in his car because he had one, and that made him special. Better than the other boys. 

He was sweet on her, doting, for days. A trip to Coney Island that left him broke, the drive-in, burgers and fries at the diner by his house. Steve in tow. Always. 

He was leant up against the side of his car, Dot pressed against his chest as they exchanged a soft kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked. She grinned, lips parting like petals around shiny white teeth. 

“You’re keen on me Barnes.” Holding his hand and stepping back, her skirt twirled around her legs. 

“Is that a bad thing?” He grinned, his own pearly whites showing. He could feel Steve rolling his eyes from inside the car. 

“Tomorrow then,” He pulled Dot in close to land one more cheeky kiss before she was skipping up the steps into her family’s brownstone, and out of sight. Bucky’s grinning face turned around to look at his friend, slipping into the driver’s seat. 

“I’m gonna marry that girl.” He said.

Steve rolled his eyes, “You say that about every girl.” 

“I mean it this time,” Bucky assured him, pulling the car away from the curb. 

Steve laughed, “You say that too.” 

Bucky’s family wasn’t rich, but they weren’t poor either. His Ma would always say, “We have just what we need.” And it was true. 

Bucky was the eldest of five, the only boy with four younger sisters, each spaced two years apart. The youngest being his favorite, but he’d never tell the other three. 

Rebecca Barnes was his partner in crime, the sweet girl looked most like him, at only nine years old she was a spitfire. Full of attitude and sass, almost always covered in dirt, and easily conned both him and his father into giving her penny candy on almost a daily basis. 

Susan Barnes was eleven and extremely smart, she’d often help her older siblings with their homework, studying. She almost always had a book in her hand and could recite Shakespeare off the top of her head. 

Ruth Barnes was thirteen and hated everyone and everything. It was just that age. She was experimenting with makeup, almost always on the telephone, and generally didn’t speak to anyone in the house unless she absolutely had to. Talking to her lately was just about as hard as pulling teeth. 

Lastly was Virgina Barnes, she was fifteen and much to her father and brother’s chagrin was a little boy crazy. Bucky was sure she was dating someone she wouldn’t bring around to the house, he’d often spy on her in the halls of their high school trying to catch a glimpse of who the punk was that had necked with his sister, but so far she’s been sneaky and kept out of sight. 

His parents were still very much in love. The two were always touching, kissing, slow dancing to music that wasn’t there. It was everything Bucky ever wanted. His mom, Winnie Barnes, came from money. Old money and his grandpa every rare time they saw him would be sure to make it known that he didn’t like their father. 

George Barnes had grown up pretty poor, very wrong side of the tracks. He’d fought in the War to End All Wars in the 107th, met Winnie Barnes when she was a nurse. Real classic story. One Bucky loved hearing. 

His Pops owned his own shop now, one of the only mechanics in Brooklyn which kept him pretty busy, but provided well for his family if their four bedroom brownstone was anything to say for it. Bucky parked the car outside the garage, men laughing, radio playing, he could see his Pops sitting in the back office, pencil behind his ear, looking over the books. 

“You gonna be good from here pal?” Bucky asked Steve. The smaller boy nodded, 

“Probably gonna walk around for a bit before going home.” Bucky wished Steve would take up his offer and come stay with them for a while, but the kid was too proud for that. He was currently living alone in a small apartment, selling funnies to the local paper. 

“If you need anything I’ll be here until seven probably, then I’ll be home.” Steve nodded, backing away.

“I’ll see ya tomorrow.” With a wave he was off, disappearing down the street. 

Bucky worked hard. As he was expected to. He was his father’s only son and George Barnes put a lot of pressure on his son to be a good example, not only for his sisters, but for the other guys that worked for him. He worked, and he worked hard. His hands had become calloused over the years, having worked in the shop since he was old enough to hold a wrench, he knew almost everything there was to know about fixing cars. 

His father believed that a good red blooded American man should know how to do three things. Auto work, Wood work, and wife’s work. He should be able to fix a car, fix the house, and keep his wife as happy as possible. It was ingrained into him since he could barely see over the hood, his father’s words ringing in his ears. 

“Keep your wife happy, the roof strong, and dinner on the table.” He said, “As long as you do those three things you’ll have a good life.” A life like his. Despite the hollowness of his eyes sometimes and the extra beers before bed. 

“It was the war”, his mother told him once, “Sometimes it just catches up to him.” Bucky wouldn’t understand that, not for a while. 

“Jaime.” His pops called him into the back office, a wrapped parcel on his desk. “Run this down to the post for me woulda? They sent us the wrong part, sendin’ it back for an exchange.” James nodded, 

“You need anythin’ else while I’m out?” His father’s eyes, blue like his, peeked up over the lenses of his readers, 

“Grab me a soda pop woulda?” A couple of cents placed into his hand and he was out the door, walking down the sunny streets to the post office three blocks away. There was a corner store next to it where he’d pop in and get his Dad a cola with enough change to grab himself one as well and he’d be on his way back. That was until his eyes landed on the girl peering into the store window in front of the said corner store, brows pulled tight in confusion. 

Her skin was beautifully caramel, dark hair and lips painted red. She was in a soft linen dress, buttoned front, low heels, roses stitched onto the sides. She was a sight. One that made his heart stop in his chest and his mouth drop open wide enough to collect flies. Her dark brown eyes and perfectly curled hair made his hands tremble. He rubbed his sweaty palms on his uniform pants, looking at himself in a car’s side mirror and fixing his hair before approaching. 

“Whatcha lookin’ for doll?” The young woman jumped, turning to face him, perfectly plucked brows raised in alarm. “Sorry,” He laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.” He saw the girl take a step back, he was blowing it. “It’s just not everyday that you see such a beautiful dame such as yourself.” You worried your bottom lip. “Sorry,” He took a step back from you. “That was corny I just…”

“Lo siento,” [I’m sorry] You said, “No puedo hablar ingles.” [I can’t speak english] His face dropped slightly and he took a step back. He didn’t know what to do here, he looked at the window and back at you. 

“James.” He said, pointing to himself, then pointing a finger at you, 

“Y/N.” You replied, figuring out what he meant. He pointed to the store. 

“Store?” You looked at him confused. “Uhm…” He put his hands on his hips and looked inside, holding a hand out to you and pointed at the sign of the shop, “Store?” You looked at him skeptically, taking his hand and letting him bring you inside. He’d walked to the ice box in the back, pulling out two cola’s as he watched you pick up a loaf of bread, looking at him nervously. He tried to smile at you reassuringly but you didn’t seem to feel comfortable still. He took the change out of his pocket, counting out the coins. He had just enough for his two cola’s, not room for much else as he walked you to the counter. If he’d had enough he woulda bought the bread too. 

The shop keep seemed to glare at you, which confused Bucky. He looked between the guy at the counter and back to you behind him, placing his two colas on the counter, having the guy ring him up. “Have a good day,” the man told him, Bucky watched as the girl placed the bread loaf on the counter. The man glared at her, not moving. “No sale.” He said. 

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked, you looked between the two nervously. “Here.” Bucky took the coins from her open palm, and tried to hand them to the shop keep. He glared back at Bucky. 

“We don’t take their money here.” He said sternly, pointing to the sign behind him. Bucky had been in this shop almost five times a week and never noticed that sign before. ‘WHITES ONLY’ in big bold lettering. Bucky looked back at you and while he figured you couldn’t understand english you at least could feel that you weren’t wanted here. Suddenly your nervousness made sense. 

“It’s my money then.” Bucky said, slapping the coins on the counter. “Let her buy the damn bread.” The shop keep stood from the stool he was resting on, leaning over the counter.

“Get out.” By the time Bucky realized he was talking to you and not him you’d quickly walked out of the store and back onto the street. He’d quickly grabbed the loaf of bread, coins still discarded on the counter and followed you out. 

“Wait! Y/N!” He called, catching up to you. “Here.” You looked at him, brows pulled skeptically together before taking the bread from his hands. “I’m sorry about that guy, he’s usually so nice I-” Bucky bit his lip, he was unsure what else to say. Nothing he said made any sense to you anyway. He couldn’t say anything regardless as you gave him a funny look and slowly walked away from him, turning your eyes away as you crossed the street. 

He stared after you longingly and confused. He’d heard people speak spanish in passing. Guys that worked in the factories near the docks. He wasn’t ignorant to that. He just never really gave much thought to them. They were in a different world than him, it didn’t matter as much. But you’d struck him. The way the shopkeep had treated you struck him. He’d never seen a pretty girl treated that way. Usually guys would bend over backwards for a girl like you, but to be fair, Bucky never had a reason to think about skin color. 

It’s not that he didn’t see it, he just never cared. He’d heard whispers of people being irritated at the growing hispanic population in Sunset Park, but never really gave it much thought. It never crossed his mind. He had other things to worry about at the time, a girl to love, a friend to protect. 

The sweating colas in his hands reminded him that he had somewhere to be, and you’d long since disappeared around a corner. Gone from his sight. He was quiet that night at dinner, suspiciously so.

He didn’t see you again for three months, the end of summer drawing near, the days just beginning to get shorter. He’d been walking around Sunset Park occasionally, looking for you, under the guise of a stroll. Steve thought it was strange, his newfound obsession. 

“I’m gonna marry her Stevie.” He’d said. He knows he’s said it before, 

“I mean it this time.” He said that before too. “But you didn’t see her Stevie.” He grinned as the pair walked around the neighborhood for the first time, “She was more beautiful than Aphrodite.” Steve rolled his eyes. He wasn’t sure how many times he’s walked this neighborhood looking for you, but he told himself he’d do it every night if it meant he’d find you again. 

School had ended, he was working full time at his Dad’s shop now, little time for extracurriculars, the dance halls missed him, his favorite waitress asked Steve about him all the time, and he hadn’t seen a movie since the last time he went with Dot almost 3 months ago. All of his energy had gone into working and on his days off with Steve, looking for you. He thumbed through the spanish phrasebook he’d spent a pretty penny on, pages dogeared with things he might try to say to you when he saw you next. 

If it ever happened. 

He was beginning to lose hope, truth be told. Maybe you’d moved away. Maybe you were in the neighborhood visiting someone and didn’t even live nearby. It wasn’t until he’d taken a street down in the factory district on his day off that he saw you again. 

You were just as beautiful as he’d remembered, hair pinned under a cap, lips painted red, you were wearing another linen dress, flowers stitched around the skirt and on the lapels. You were leaving a dress factory. That’s where you must’ve worked. He watched you twirl in your dress, laughing at something another woman had said to you. The gaggle of them speaking such quick Spanish that the few phrases he studied didn’t even make sense to him anymore. 

He swore his heart stopped in his chest when your eyes met his, a firm blush spreading across your cheeks. Bucky, the hopeless romantic that he is, would tell everyone that time stood still. There you were, he would say, his future wife. Pin Curled and sweet, dark lashes and rose petal lips waiting for your first kiss. Like you’d been made for him. He would say that in that moment the stars aligned and brought you to him. 

He was a sucker like that. 

Steve had stopped a few steps ahead of him, noticing that his friend wasn’t following, the group of girls you had been walking out with also stopped, looking between the two of you and giggling at the sight. One girl pushed you forward and you turned to glare at her saying something to her that Bucky couldn’t hear. He took one step forward and then another, thumbing through the pages of the book and swallowing heavily, hands sweating. He’d never been this nervous talking to a dame before, never. He raised the book to his eyesight, glancing at you before looking back down at the page, 

“Lo siento,” [I’m sorry] He said in just about the worst pronunciation you’d ever heard, the girls behind you giggled and you shushed them with a perfectly red lacquered hand, he smiled nervously continuing, “Eres tan hermosa,” [You are so beautiful] He flipped a couple more pages not being able to find what he wanted to say next when you gently grasped his wrist, smiling at him. 

“James.” His heart almost dropped out of his ass as you said his name for the first time, “Hello.” Very heavily accented and you bit your lip with insecurity. 

“Hi.” He breathed. He looked back down at his book, finding what he wanted to say next, “Te estaba buscando.” [I was looking for you.] His pronunciation was horrible and he knew it. But the thought was still there. 

“Uhm…” You looked at him nervously, the girls were sure to gossip about this later. This white man who was holding a Spanish phrase book telling you about how you were beautiful and he was looking for you. 

“Y/N!” Came a yell, Bucky watched an older woman approach, she looked so similar it had to be your mother, “Que haces con este hombre blanco?” [What are you doing with this white man?] The older woman gripped your arm, looking at the girls behind you, “Veta a casa.” [Go home.] She spat to the other girls, glaring back at Bucky as you looked at him apologetically. He caught a few words. He knew casa meant home, he also knew blanco meant white. But he was unsure about the rest. 

Steve stood awkwardly off to his side, a silent witness to this strange situation. “That’s her I’m guessing?” The little shit grinned next to him. Bucky turned to his friend, matching his grin. 

“Yeah.” His heart was still racing, “And now I know where she works.” He looked up at the tall factory building next to them. 

He looked around the flower shop, the various blooms staring back at him. He wasn’t sure what to get, what you would like. Roses were maybe too presumptuous and a little too expensive “Can I help you?” The older woman asked him. She was wearing an apron over her plaid dress, hands brown with dirt. Bucky smiled softly, 

“I’m a little lost here,” He admitted. The older woman smiled, 

“What’s she like?” He stuffed his hands in his pockets looking over the blooms. 

“Perfect?” He offered, laughing, “But beautiful, sweet…” His eyes scanned the arrangements around him, “I don’t have a whole lot to spare, but…” The older woman nodded, understanding. 

“You could always do a single stem,” The older woman plucked a beautiful red flower from an arrangement, “If she’s as sweet as you believe, she’d be more than happy with it.” A peony. Vibrant red. Like your lipstick.  

He waited outside the factory for you. Hair slicked down, he wore a tie, his work uniform stuffed in the backseat of his car. He hoped you wouldn’t notice that he smelled a little like motor oil under his cologne. He barely made it before the door opened and his palms immediately sweat in a Pavlovian response. The anticipation of seeing you. 

Your dress was yellow this time. Stunning against you skin, yellow and white plaid. He wondered if every color was made just for you. Your eyes immediately met his this time, a shy smile spreading across your face. He timidly stepped a foot closer, 

“Hello, James.” In your beautiful broken English. 

“Hola.” Your nose crinkled when you smiled. “Oh, here.” The vibrant red peony being handed over to you, you twirled the stem between your fingers as he pulled the well worn book from his pocket. “Uhm.. Te ves hermosa hoy.” [You look beautiful today] He looked at you for your response, a red dusting on your cheeks as you held the flower up to your nose. 

“Es guapo.” [He’s handsome.] One of the girls teased you to which your eyes widened and you turned to glare at her, shooing her away. 

“Has estado practicando?” [Have you been practicing?] You bit your lip knowing he probably wouldn’t understand that. “How,” You started, “are you?” He grinned, he could respond to this one. Flipping back,

“Muy bien, como estas?” [Very well, how are you?] It took him a bit too long to say four words, but the smile on your face was worth it. 

“Bien,” [Good.] You replied. 

“Away!” You mother was back, standing in front of you this time, looking into Bucky’s face. His cheeks flushed. “Go away!” Your mother’s english was worse than yours, the words coming out thick and accented he almost didn’t understand. “Mantente alejado de ella.”[Stay away from her] She was scary, your mother. He looked to you for help, fingers nervously moving against the spine of the book in his hand. 

“El es una madre inofensiva.” [Mama, he’s harmless.] You explained, but your mother’s face turned red, turning fully to you she said, 

“Él te arruinárá.” [He will ruin you.] Her voice was tense and Bucky couldn’t begin to understand what she said as he watched her drag you away again. But it was fine, he was back tomorrow to try again. 

And he tried again, and again. It became a constant. He was spending $1.30 every week on flowers, considering he was only making $25 a week working for his Dad it was a good chunk of his money. He’d show up with a red peony for you every day. The girls, he knew, were making fun of him but the five minutes in between when you’d get off of work and when your mother would get off of work were the best part of his entire day. He was showing up even on his days off, rain or shine. 

Today he felt victorious, your mother hadn’t yelled at him. She simply looked at him and raised an eyebrow to you saying, “El no se rinde.” [He doesn’t give up.] With a smile and laugh. She pulled you away a little more gently that time, taking a look back at him and shaking her head. 

“You know it’s going to be hard,” Steve said to him once. 

“What do you mean?” Bucky bit into the burger Frankie, the waitress, had just put in front of him. His favorite burger at his favorite diner, he’d have to bring you here. Maybe the two of you could split a milkshake. He wondered if you’d ever had a chocolate malt. Steve looked at him incredulously,

“I can’t tell if you’re dumb or blind.” He’d slipped a picture from his sketchpad over, a picture he’d sketched of you for Bucky. His heart fluttered at the sight, tracing your jaw. 

“She’s it for me pal, nothing complicated about it.” The temperature had just begun to drop, a hot August ending. Fall was sweeping through the city, Steve was just starting art school, Bucky was pulling overtime at the shop saving up cash to move out and start his life. Hopefully with you. 

“Buck.” Steve sighed, “You know I have no problem with it, but…your parents, literally almost everyone else… it’s illegal.” Bucky paused, a few fries in his mouth. 

“It’s not technically illegal in New York.” He knows, he looked it up. “Just not…”

“Not approved of.” Steve finished for him. He sighed heavily, sitting back in his seat. “It’s gonna be difficult, pal.” Bucky shook his head, 

“Nuthin’ could be difficult when I have her,” A sip of soda, “Nuthin.”

The next day when Bucky showed up with his flower your Mother was already waiting for him when he pulled his car up. He finally got the windows working. She knocked heavily on his window before he’d even pulled the keys out. 

“Come.” She said, grabbing his arm and pulling him over to a man, a scary one by Bucky’s count, who was standing where he’d usually wait for you. “Preguntarle.” [Ask him.]

The man was hispanic, but not old enough to be your father. Your brother maybe? “She wants to know what you keep doing here.” The guy’s English was perfect, his voice gruff and accented, but perfect. 

“I’m…” Bucky started nervously, “I want to date her daughter.” The guy scoffed, making Bucky feel like an idiot standing there with his one flower. 

“Él quiere llevarla a una cita.” [He wants to take her out on a date] The older woman scoffed as well. He smiled sheepishly. She looked at Bucky, studying him for a moment, “Dile que Y/N no es un juguete.” [Tell him Y/N is not a toy.]

“She’s not a toy,” The man said, he looked at the older woman before continuing on his own, “Look, Y/N is beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but it’s never going to happen. Your kind is not allowed with our kind.” Bucky felt anger rising in his chest. The man lay a hand on his shoulder heavily, “I’m saying this honestly, if you care about Y/N in any way you’ll back off. You’ll ruin her reputation with our people if you keep showing up here. The women are already gossiping about you showing up here everyday.” 

“This is about her being Spanish?” Bucky asked. 

“She’s Cuban.” The guy explained, “You are privileged enough to pretend not to care about race, but this is only an obsession, you’ll ruin her reputation and leave her when you find someone of your own kind to be with.” The man’s grip on Bucky’s shoulder tightened, a warning. “Get back in your car and don’t come back. If you do, our conversation may not be so pleasant next time.” 

Bucky looked to the older woman with pleading eyes, pulling the Spanish phrases book from his pocket, but before he could find anything the man across from him snatched it from his fingertips. “I said go.” 

Bucky wanted to pummel him. He wanted to punch the guy right in the jaw, but he didn’t. He’d find another way to see you. He’d figure something out. The flower in his hand dropped to his passenger seat as he sat heavily behind the wheel, staring out at the doors to the factory. You walked out just in time to see him drive away. 

Nueva York. That’s what your Mother called it. A new start in America where anything could happen. Your belly had never been that full before. There were no jobs in Havana. Less and less by the day. Your nimble fingers had always been useful as a seamstress, but the less money people have, the less money they had to spend paying someone else to fix their hemlines for them. Your Mother and you moved here in the beginning of the summer, hopeful for a new life.

And you found one. 

The neighborhood of Sunset Park had a growing Hispanic community the two of you had quickly nestled yourselves in. A small one bedroom apartment became your home. The two of you not needing much space. You’d quickly found factory work through a neighbor. Not exactly a seamstress, but you did spend 12 hours a day hunched over a sewing machine. Pennies saved and eventually you’d have enough money to live comfortably. You might even have enough to get a new bolt of fabric to make you and your Mother some dresses. Maybe. 

The only thing you had to look forward to every day were the few minutes watching a handsome man trip over his words, speaking broken Spanish to you and flipping, very endearingly through a book trying to have a conversation. 

It’d gotten a little easier lately, a boy in your apartment building helping you and your Mother learn English and with James practicing his Spanish you’d been getting a little farther past ‘how are you’s in the past week or so. The growing collection of dried flowers in your closet was becoming alarming, the row of dead peonies hanging by their stems, but you didn’t have the heart to throw them away. 

That’s maybe why it hurt so much when you’d exited work today, waiting to see the blue eyed boy that made your heart flutter in your chest, and saw him driving away. Your Mother and Mateo staring at the back of it. “Qué hiciste?” [What did you do?] Neither of them answered you, sharing a look. 

Your eyes met the back of the fading car once more, longing in your chest, eyes prickling with tears. “Vamos,” [Come on] Your Mother called, beginning down the street. You sent a steely glare to Mateo, turning to follow her away, his large footsteps following. 

When you first came to America almost five months ago both you and your Mother were enamored with Mateo. She’d teased that you’d found a husband the first day you’d moved in, but the more time you spent with him the less you liked him. He worked a taxi service, one his family started. They had a good amount of money, promising, is what your Mother had said. He could provide for you. But he was pompous. He thought because he had a little bit of money he was running the whole block. His ego soured your opinion of him. If it wasn’t for the fact he was helping you learn English you would have closed your door to him a long time ago. 

Your Mother didn’t want this life for you. Truthfully she’d brought you to America so you’d marry, find a nice Cuban boy and settle down. Let him provide for you. Take care of her grandchildren God willing. It wasn’t as though you didn’t want that life. You wanted to marry, you wanted love. You loved children and always wanted to be a mother but the most important thing to you was love. 

When James approached you that first time you were confused, yes. You hadn’t understood a word he said. But he was handsome and he made you feel butterflies in your stomach. You felt as though his blue eyes could drown you, like a siren’s call, you’d lost yourself in them. But you’d found yourself embarrassed at the counter when the man was angrily talking to him. James was animatedly arguing back, in words you didn’t understand. Taking the eight cents you’d had for bread and slamming them on the counter. 

You’d been surprised when he’d actually left successfully with the bread, you had been peering for the sign the shopkeeper had pointed to before he’d actually drug you in the store, and your stomach dropped when you’d found it while inside. You should have known you weren’t welcome in that part of town. A little too far outside of your little barrio. 

You’d like to think it was fate, God ordained. You’d thought about it again when you saw him outside the factory for the first time. He was nervous, but so were you. You thought it was cute, him flipping through the phrasebook trying to figure out what to say. It warms your heart and every day since you couldn’t wait to see him. He’d even ignored your Mother and kept coming. The collection of red peonies growing by the day. 

It broke your heart to see his car driving away from you. And you knew exactly who was to blame. 

“No tenes derecho.” [You have no right] You stomped up the stairs next to Mateo. “Deberías mantener tu nariz fuera de oso.” [You should keep your nose out of it]

“Te quiero, Y/N.” [I love you Y/N] His arm gently grabbed your hand, “Please don’t do this.” Your jaw clenched, heart still aching from the sight of James driving away from you. 

“I... hate... you.” His hand let go of yours, dropping his to his side as you returned walking up the stairs and entered your apartment, slamming the door behind you. 

Germany had just invaded Poland.

.

.

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taglist //  @corneliabarnes​ @bookish-shristi​ @saturnki​ @jennmurawski13​ @geeksareunique​ @albinotigerpython​ @cake-writes​ @iheartsebastianstan​ @000bananaclip000​

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #captain america #challenge #the winter soldier #1940s bucky barnes #steve rogers

[amphtaminedreams]

Filling the Met Shaped Hole (No, Not Like That): The Best Red Carpet Looks of Awards Season 2020

Hi to anyone reading,

I want to jump straight into things and ask a question. Which is the best Met Gala theme of the last 5 years and why is it Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination?

Seriously though, despite the fact that I’m not sure anything will top Heavenly Bodies with the preceding and succeeding Met Galas being relatively disappointing (the camp theme definitely could have been taken further and lets not even talk about the Comme Des Garcons disaster), I still get excited for the gala every year, staying up til whatever hour of the morning so I can see all the fashion live. Of course, it makes complete sense that this year’s event has been postponed until October given the circumstances but the chosen theme of Fashion and Duration had the potential to be quite interesting, so I hope we do eventually get to see it; whilst I don’t miss endlessly scrolling through photos of every white male celebrity wearing the exact same suit and tie to the point where fangirls claim Harry Styles to be a pioneer of breaking gender norms because he wore a pink top, I long for the days where we could all temporarily coexist in peace and harmony thanks to the internet’s collective dragging of the Kardashians for paying no attention to the theme whatsoever. We should’ve guessed life as we know it was about to be flipped on its head when they actually turned up in something interesting last year.

What I’m trying to say is that I would love nothing more than to jump back in time to when tomorrow morning’s top Google search would be best Met Gala looks, and not how many lives did Boris Johnson’s fuckery cost us today. So in honour of the lack of trivial content, I thought I’d fill the Met shaped hole in our lives (amongst many other unfilled holes; today the freezer door at work hit me on the ass whilst I was putting ice cubes out and I think for a split second I got all flushed) by putting together a collection of my personal favourite red carpet looks from this year’s awards season and their respective afterparties: the BAFTAs, Brits, Critic’s Choice Awards, Golden Globes, Oscars, SAG Awards, and the Grammys to finish with.

Enjoy!

British Academy of Film and Television Arts Award (yes, that’s the BAFTAs but I needed a longer title)

(L-R: Zoe Kravitz in Dior, Rooney Mara in Givenchy, and Scarlett Johansson in Versace)

I am a British fan of television and arts but I will gladly say it: of all the awards ceremonies, the BAFTAs is hardly the most exciting, and the red carpet even less so. As I said, lots of boring men in boring suits and middle aged women being dressed by stylists who seem to think we’re dead from the neck down by the time we hit 40 and dress us accordingly so. Any hint of a décolletage explicitly forbidden.

There were a few good looks, however. From left to right, above we have Zoe Kravitz in Dior, Rooney Mara in Givenchy and Scarlett Johansson in Versace, who looks so amazing I almost forget that 1). Versace is going down the drain and 2). Scarlett Johansson would stand in front of a forest and take the role of a tree if she could. Which, along with her whole defence of Woody Allen, is really shit-she’s genuinely great in Marriage Story and an otherwise talented actress. As for Zoe Kravitz, she is up there with Robert Pattison as one of my biggest crushes right now and looks amazing in literally everything she wears, and Rooney Mara is consistently low-key yet elegantly dressed. 

(L-R: Greta Gerwig in Gucci, Florence Pugh in Dries Van Noten, Renee Zellweger in Prada)

Renee Zellweger proved an exception to the rule when it came to women over the age of 40 generally having clueless stylists-her dress is beautiful, very reminiscent of the delicate, demure beauty of 50s icons such as Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn. Florence’s dress, I actually really loved. It didn’t seem to go down all too well with actual Florence Pugh fans but red and pink together is an elite combo; I’m still firmly on the “surprised that it works but I’m into it” train. I mainly included Greta’s dress for the green velvet, to be honest; it’s disappointingly low-key for Gucci but nice enough all the same.

(L-R: Andrew Scott in Paul Smith, Charlize Theron in Dior, Daisy Ridley in Oscar de la Renta, and Emilia Clarke in Schiaparelli)

I was particularly excited to see Emilia Clarke in Schiaparelli-yes, I adore her because she played Daenerys Targaryen and I was ride or die for that bitch but also whenever I see her interviewed she has the most exuberant energy and honestly I want to be best friends. It’s not the most interesting dress Schiaparelli has ever put out there, but I like the fact that she went for something unique all the same.

Forest green is a colour I find hard to resist which is why I included Andrew Scott’s otherwise kinda basic suit (points for it being velvet) and Daisy Ridley in Oscar de la Renta. As elegant as the dress is, I would love for her stylist to have really leaned into the forest nymph vibes I’m getting and do something a bit less uptight with the hair and makeup; like imagine loose curls with tiny braids and hair rings and a dark lip and a slight smoke around the eye and...yes, I have very specific visions, I know. As for Charlize Theron, her work with Dior is the only reason I care about the brand; there’s definitely a case to be made here for giving Maria Grazia the benefit of the doubt, assuming that she tries all the prototypes on women who look like Charlize and that that’s why she’s happy to send dresses that are otherwise relatively underwhelming down the runway. 

The Brit Awards

(L-R: Charli XCX in Fendi, Ellie Goulding in Koche, Hailee Steinfeld in Fendi, and Harry Styles in Gucci)

In my opinion a much better reflection of quintessential British style than the BAFTAs, I originally ruled out including any music award ceremony red carpets in this post until I saw Maya Jama and Charli XCX’s looks. Consider me pleasantly surprised by Hailee Steinfeld’s cobalt blue burnout dress, a classic incarnation of the regal bohemian aesthetic Fendi channelled in their 2019 haute couture show. Plus Charli’s emo take on Glinda the Good Witch is also Fendi, driving home for me just how much I love their collections. I don’t know if I’d be sure about Ellie Goulding’s dress on the rack but the simple styling makes it work and she looks gorgeous, and Harry Styles looks just as pretty in a Gucci look that is MADE for him.

(L-R: Adwoah Aboah in Vivienne Westwood, Celeste in Gucci on the far right! I’m not sure who the guy in the middle is, I’m sorry and if anybody knows drop me a message and I will correct this immediately!)

Unfortunately, Harry Styles and Celeste didn’t get to pose together because this is really a perfect his and hers Gucci look; I feel like seeing one outfit next to the other would really highlight the quirky elegance of each. That being said, it feels criminal to talk about elegance without including Adwoah Aboah in Vivienne Westwood in the sentence; the dress is obviously stunning quality on its own merit, but Adwoah is what elevates it from unremarkable to ethereal. Fuck the weird ass knight figure that’s currently on top of the Brit Award, this woman is the definition of statuesque! Put her on top of the trophy you cowards!

And just to get it out of the way, when it comes to the guy in the middle, to quote Keke Palmer:

Sorry to this man.

Honestly, I saved all the red carpet photos from a Nylon (I think it was Nylon?) article back when the awards aired and towards the end of the photos they stopped including names-this happened a few times when I was looking through red carpet galleries. I reverse image searched where I could but not every photo turned anything up. If anyone does know who this man is, message me so I can include his name. He looks sick, and as far as suits go, this one is built upon and accessorised enough that it’s actually a look rather than the same old variation of a suit we’ve seen a million times before that may as well be the straight man’s designated red carpet uniform. 

(L-R: Maya Jama, Neh Neh Cherry in Bottega Veneta, Laura Whitmore)

And now the woman that forced me to include the Brits red carpet in this post in the first place: Maya Jama. Don’t get me wrong, my mind isn’t blown by this dress on its own, I probably prefer Laura Whitmore’s (Jaded do a similar newspaper dress and I’ve resisted adding it to my basket for 6 months now, this is the ultimate test of whether or not I finally cave), but Maya looks fucking MAGNIFICENT. The fit, the gloves, the confidence with which she carries it, it’s all SO good. Considering the timing, this is basically her Princess Diana revenge dress levelled up, 2020′s Jessica Rabbit moment. 

(L-R: Maya Jama, Ellie Goulding, Kendall Jenner)

Obviously anything is gonna be a step down from the red carpet look but Maya’s Brits afterparty outfit was cute too, if a tad Pretty Little Thing. 

Don’t ask me what Kendall Jenner was doing at the Brits afterparty btw, because I have no idea. We live in a world where the Kardashian-Jenners just seem to occupy every public space possible and I’ve begrudgingly accepted it at this point. I don’t have the energy to question it-and it helps that green catsuit is actually Very Cool™. 

For the last of my favourite Brit Awards looks, we have a few more afterparty photos-from left to right we have Charli XCX again, Lizzo, and Anne Marie. It was Charli posting her dress on Instagram that sent me searching for afterparty looks in the first place; apparently wearing nothing but feathers and crystals is something that appeals to me, and the more I read that statement, the more it sounds spot-on. I’d categorise it as gothic glamour hoe, and slot it in with the rest of the night-out clothes in my wardrobe that I think I’ll finally have the balls to wear out of sheer desperation once this lockdown is over. The Blossom to Charli XCX’s Buttercup here, we’ve also got Anne Marie looking extra AF and I loveeeee it; it’s an ensemble somewhere between a high-end version of Alaska Thunderfuck’s candyfloss Sugar Ball dress from season 5 of Drag Race (Alaska DID deserve to win AS2 nation, rise up) and a low-key version of a Katy Perry California Dreams Tour costume. I don’t call it low-key as a drag, just a regretful admission of the fact that maybe wearing a cupcake bra which squirts whipped cream out of the boobs is a bit too much for most of us. 

Critic’s Choice Awards

(L-R: Alison Brie in Brandon Maxwell, Chloe Bridges in Azeeza, Cynthia Erivo in Fendi, Florence Pugh in Prada)

I was going to say the Critic’s Choice Awards is kind of America’s version of the BAFTAs but then I remembered that the BAFTAs is really the only big TV and film awards ceremony we have here in the UK and that it’s kind of sad that I have to compare our most high-profile red carpet of the year to L.A’s most low-key one. Getting Cynthia Erivo and Florence Pugh to infiltrate is the best we can do. 

THAT BEING SAID! 

They both look amazing. This is Florence’s best red carpet look of this year, imo (she the prettiest icicle I’ve ever seen), and Cynthia Erivo’s arm must ache from serving the entire awards season. And in Fendi! Taste!

Side note before we move onto the next set of looks: has anybody else watched Alison Brie in Mad Men and Community simultaneously and experienced the extreme cognitive dissonance that comes from watching her play a tragically nerdy (relatable tbh) 18 year old and an overly-sophisticated 30 something married to an ad man in the 60s at the same time? Weird, but anyway! The orange dress with the red lipstick is channelling Marina Diamandis’ Froot era style subtle sex appeal and is a timeless, playful combo. Put the hair up into a beehive and it’s Megan Draper on a date in Cabo-don’t know much about the place but I know the sea is aqua and the sun seekers are blindingly white and the cocktails are plentiful (and whatever colour you want them to be), and all that together is a juicy palette if we’re talking cinematography. The Mad Men directors are out there somewhere shaking their fists at the sky that they never got to consult me on that, I’m sure. 

(L-R: Phoebe Waller-Bridge in Dior, Saoirse Ronan in Erdem and Zendaya in Tom Ford)

Zendaya’s red carpet look was the stand out of the Critic’s Choice Awards for sure; the skirt I can do without but I hope that hot pink metal breastplate ends up on display somewhere because that is ART, and she is the perfect person to wear it. The Tiffany Pollard “she's so powerful” meme was made for this moment. 

Also, can we talk about Phoebe Waller-Bridge backing up my Dior 2019 Haute Couture wasn’t *that* bad hypothesis? Because unless I’m mistaken this is one of the dresses from that collection and it is quite beautiful. Yeah, black mesh isn’t going to start a revolution or anything but it’s so delicate looking it almost seems out of place on a red carpet-I don’t know if it’s the structure of the bodice or the tulle but I can totally see this in a gothic ballet, whether that’s sensible in theory or not. Probably not. But then again I did quit ballet when I was 10 after months of getting people to near poke me in the eye on the way out of class so it would look like I’d been crying and I didn’t have to go to my lessons after school. So what do I know? Fuck all, in case that wasn’t clear. I also feel a little vindicated by Saoirse wearing one of the Erdem dresses I loved from last year’s collection-if multi-award winning actress Saoirse Ronan’s probably ridiculously well-paid stylist liked it enough to pick it out for her then I guess I’m doing okay in terms of taste levels.

(L-R: Olivia Wilde in Valentino, Lucy Hale in Miu Miu, Mandy Moore in Elie Saab, and Margaret Qualley in Chanel)

The last few Critics Choice Awards looks I picked out above aren’t thrilling or anything but they’re cute enough to include-from left to right we have Olivia Wilde in Valentino, Lucy Hale in Miu Miu, Mandy Moore in Elie Saab and Margaret Qualley in Chanel. It’s kind of besides the point, but Margaret worked with Chanel throughout awards season and I just wanted to add my two cents in here and say that I think she’s the perfect person to collaborate with (also think Laura Harrier would be a good match, anyone agree?) and that in a similar vein, I urge Miu Miu, the creative directors of which I’m sure are eagerly awaiting the opinion of irrelevant Tumblr user amphtaminedreams, to work with Lucy Hale more often. I feel like if girl stopped starring in those shitty Blumhouse horrors and did something a bit more sophisticated she’d fit the brand right down to a T.

The Golden Globes

(L-R: Cynthia Erivo in Thom Browne, Dakota Fanning in Dior, Jane Levy in Steven Khalil, and Janina Gavankar in Georges Chakra)

Finally! I hear you cry! A more exciting red carpet! It’s not the Oscars, but celebrity stylists still pulled the big guns for this one, the Golden Globes probably being considered the second most prestigious American awards ceremony of the year. Plus Dakota Fanning was there! Big yay for me! She and Elle can practically do no wrong in my eyes and are probably the only 2 women that could take on Dakota Johnson and Jennifer Lawrence when it comes to established red carpet style. 

Cynthia Erivo did it again, of course, as slick, as dignified and as regal as she was at the Critic’s Choice. The woman really has got this power stance thing locked down; she always seems so cool and confident in everything she wears that the whole getting dressed up to go out out out (we call going to the club going “out out”, but I’d say a red carpet is a slightly bigger deal than my local club with the sticky floors hence the 3rd out) thing looks like second nature.

(L-R: Zoey Deutch in Fendi, Karamo Brown in Grayscale, Lucy Boynton in Louis Vuitton and Kat Graham in Georges Hobeika)

Lucy Boynton was another of my Golden Globes stand outs, and in general is someone who I really look forward to seeing at red carpet events. She (or her stylist, I don’t know how much of a role she plays!) always seems to commit fully to an outfit and sees it as part of a whole concept where the makeup, hair and accessories are equally as important and that is a girl after my own heart. 60s space age empress is the theme here and I’m all about it-well, either that or a feminine editorial take on the tinman from the Wizard of Oz but the former sounds a bit cooler and does way more justice to how good she looks so we’ll go with that. Quick shoutout to Kat Graham too because she looked absolutely radiant. 

(L-R: Shailene Woodley in Balmain, Winnie Harlow in Laquan Smith, and Zoe Kravitz in Saint Laurent)

The trio above I really couldn’t skim over, Winnie Harlow especially; my America’s Next Top Model grudges aside, she consistently turns it out at every event she’s invited to. She’s another woman that wears pieces with such confidence that they look like they were actually made on her body-even if the garment itself isn’t the most breathtaking in the room, she’s the one that draws my attention. Though she’s got these dainty, other-worldly qualities about her, what you’d expect to be a gentle presence is firm and commanding and whilst the sharp drama and glitz of the dress probably helps, that’s just the way Winnie Harlow is naturally, based on her other red carpet appearances. 

Zoe Kravitz is an interesting one because, on the one hand, her looking amazing with that bone structure (I would trade a vital organ to look like that any day) is a given, but it does also seem like she went out of her way to do something a bit different this past awards season. I have always loved her street style for its trademark edge and the androgynous, oversized silhouettes that she leans towards, and the overt femininity of her red carpet dresses is that grungy, skater girl aesthetic completely flipped on its head. It’s cute, and if anyone can pull a dress as kitschy as this off, it’s Zoe. She’s got that just rolled out of bed look we all dream of that screams “I’m over this shit” whereas the rest of us have to rely on dark circles to get the message across. It’s very weird to think that she and Shailene Woodley were in Divergent together, especially since Zoe in particular has changed so much since. 

My main note with Shailene was just that I got excited to see that Balmain dress off the runway-it was one of my favourites from the S/S 2020 collection (IIRC, mostly on the basis that I’m pretty sure it wan’t haute couture), and it looks good! Not wildly good because I’m not sure the fit of the dress is inherently all that flattering, but still good-she makes it work.

(L-R: Taylor Swift in Etro, Sofia Carson in Giambattista Valli and Scarlett Johansson in Vera Wang)

I know a lot of people online didn’t seem to like Taylor Swift’s dress, but she looks cute, imo. I will say that I’m surprised it’s Etro! At first glance I would’ve thought Carolina Herrera or Oscar de la Renta or something along those lines. And predictably, I think Sofia Carson looks flawless. If you’ve read any of my other posts you’re probably sick of hearing it but I really can’t resist anything that is this modern Disney princess, like powder pink layered tulle? Feathers? What did you expect me to say, ew? I think deep down my clothing preferences will always be that of a 9 year old girl and you know what, that’s okay. Sometimes. Well, when it comes to red carpets. That’s when you can kinda get away with it.

(L-R: Bell Powley in Miu Miu, Billy Porter in Alex Vinash, and Charlize Theron in Dior)

There’s a few things worth mentioning when it comes to the above outfits. Firstly, and most importantly, I need to proclaim my love for Billy Porter. No man is doing it like him, honestly. To compare Harry Styles in his pink suits is unfair. The drama and the beauty and the flair that Billy brings every awards ceremony is on another level and that’s all I have to say about that. If you disagree, I’m gonna need a bullet pointed essay-I am that firm in my opinion.

Second, Bell Powley in Miu Miu semi confirms the direction their PR team tend to head in when choosing women to work with. I might be totally alone here but I feel like she and Lucy Hale both have one of those porcelain doll faces which work really well with Miu Miu’s signature girlish silhouettes and overly-ornate details. 

And thirdly, just to restate my earlier point: someone give Charlize Theron a pat on the back for bringing some life to a Dior design. That is all.

(L-R: Jodie Comer in Mary Katrantzou, Joey King in Schiaparelli and Kaitlyn Dever in Valentino)

All the newcomers really turned it out too, which is a sentence I type through gritted teeth; to call Jodie Comer of My Mad Fat Diary origins a newcomer pains the former depressing 2013 black and white Tumblr user in me, though I suppose to the US audiences uncultured in the ways of British teenage angst Vilanelle is her breakthrough role. And how Vilanelle is this dress too!? It’s bold and it’s attention-grabbing and it’s fun and it is definitely very theatrical female fictional villain that you were inexplicably drawn to as a child before you realised why as an adult-”oh, it’s because she was hot”. 

Joey King in Iris van Herpen was a pleasant surprise too considering that when I first looked through the red carpet photos I only knew her as the girl who was in that shitty Netflix original-having watched her in The Act, I apologise for the dismissal! And I admire the sartorial choice! I adore Iris van Herpen designs but as a short girl, wearing one of her dresses to a red carpet event is a risky decision-I hate to admit it because casting a diverse range of people for shows is something I have come to expect of my favourite brands, but the appeal of a lot of IvH pieces comes from the movement of the garments on standard willowy runway models. Fortunately, the styling is really complementary here, and whilst it can’t be denied that the dress itself does swamp her a bit, I liked that she and her stylist stepped out of the box. 

Kaitlyn Dever’s red carpet look is obviously a lot more typical, but you can't go wrong with a Valentino dress, and this one in particular is so suited to the aura she gives off-it’s young and it’s fun and it’s fresh and the intricate floral print, otherwise muted if not for the spring influenced pops of pink and red, is timelessly pretty.

(L-R: Akwafina in Dior, Saoirse Ronan in Celine, Beanie Feldstein in Oscar de la Renta, and Renee Zellweger in Armani)

Lastly, there was Saoirse Ronan in Celine-one of my highlights of the night; she looked phenomenal, a glacial toned dream, and it was pretty different to what I generally expect to see her in. I might be way off base and in need of a bit of a review of her red carpet style, but I feel like she usually leans more towards pretty than edgy with regards to her styling at these kinds of events and a loose fitting, gun metal glittered slip dress is, imo, the perfect way to hit that previously uncharted midway point between the two.

(L-R: Kate Bosworth in Prabal Gurung, Kathryn Newton in Valentino and Sarah Hyland)

Now onto the afterparty looks, and I’m not gonna lie, they’re usually the highlight of the ceremonies for me; I feel like the initial ceremony is all about looking respectful and maintaining that whole dedicated actor image, whereas it seems the literal point of these showbiz parties is a competition to be the best dressed person in the room. Competition really makes people step their game up, and we always get to see more young talent whose style tends to be more current than that of the people we see on the red carpet. 

I’ve got to say, as annoying as I found her character in The Society, I have to overlook that gut instinct of irritation when I see Kathryn Newton and accept how stunning everything going on here is; honestly, she looks like an angel, and I feel like the team at Valentino must reeeeally like her to put her in that dress.

(L-R: Alexa Demie, Ashley Benson in Georges Hobeika, Maude Apatow and Barbie Ferreira)

Obviously I was super excited to see the Euphoria girls on the red carpet, especially Alexa Demie-she does 90s/early noughties inspired glamour better than anyone else on the young actor scene right now and her personal style and the sass she does so well as Maddy Perez shines through every time. Whilst Barbie Ferreira’s look is more casual and achievable for the rest of us in terms of wearability, it’s just as interesting a take on the same period; the delicate pink makeup, hair and jewellery with the 90s inspired slip dress in light teal is a red carpet take on soft grunge for the ages. As for Ashley Benson, she always looks gorgeous and that’s all I’m gonna say before I get emotional and start going into a rant about how her and Cara Delevigne’s relationship was one of the only good things about this shitshow of a year and how now that they’ve broken up the single flame of hope inside me has been extinguished and how their sex swing is gonna get so lonely with them caught in the middle of an ugly custody battle and-

You get the idea.

(L-R: Storm Reid, Sophia Bush in John Paul Ataker, and Sydney Sweeney)

(L-R: Billie Lourd, Paris Hilton, and Camila Morrone)

The Oscars

(L-R: Charlize Theron in Dior, Cynthia Erivo, and Florence Pugh in Louis Vuitton)

Ah, the Oscars. This is where the big money is really spent, and bad decisions are made-in fairness, this year’s winners were a lot more satisfying than usual and I think all of us felt that Parasite was a well-deserved win. I really thought it was gonna be Once Upon a Time in Hollywood just as a bit of a token gesture to Tarantino considering it’s his 9th film, though undoubtedly his worst of the ones I’ve seen, so I was relieved that this wasn’t the case. That being said, it still pains me to see the horror genre being ignored by the academy-in my mind, Florence is here for her performance in Midsommar just as much as Little Women. 

At the risk of getting repetitive, just assume my opinions on Charlize Theron in Dior here are the same again, that Cynthia Erivo is still bringing goddess energy (this is probably my favourite of her looks), and that against the opinion of the masses, Florence looks divine in this colour. I mean, when I say the masses I just mean the people I follow on Twitter, but still, I just wanted be an excuse to be dramatic so that I could insert a meme.

(L-R: Natalie Portman in Dior, Regina King in Versace, Scarlett Johansson in Oscar de la Renta, and Sandra Oh in Elie Saab)

Once again, Scarlett Johansson’s stylist is doing God’s work; this outfit is everythingggg-the Oscar de la Renta dress is probably my favourite thus far. Like we’re talking angel, but make it fitted and sexy, and I hope you read that in the Tyra Banks voice I intended because 2 memes in a row would rob me of any credibility I’m building as a fashion account and I’m not ready to trash that for bad memes just yet; give it a couple of mental breakdowns and I’ll be there. Natalie Portman’s look was a favourite of mine too, with the cape over the top adding a sophisticated touch to the celestial, slightly bohemian feel of the dress. I initially found the detail of the names embroidered into said cape to be quite moving-in a dream world, directing would be my career of choice and so I really admired the statement-but finding out that Portman herself is the only director hired by her own production company ruined that for me a little bit. Then again, multi-millionaire celebrities making performative gestures for good publicity and not doing all that much to make any real change? Colour me shocked.

(L-R: Beanie Feldstein in Miu Miu, Brie Larson in Celine and Billie Eilish in Chanel)

Now, of all the Miu Miu looks so far, I think Beanie Feldstein definitely got the best one. The intricacy of the embroidery, the silhouette, the old Hollywood stye curls-it’s all so graceful. I’d say this is probably her best look of awards season and she and her stylist did a really great job.

And as for Billie Eilish...Guys...do you think she might be wearing...Chanel...by any chance? I’m not sure.

Seriously though, as far as an oversized tweed suit with the brand’s logo emblazoned all over it goes, I like this look. The acid green roots and the jewellery are what make it for me, adding to the grunginess of the outfit which is interesting against Chanel’s prim and proper aesthetic of the last few years. I know she has good reason for the way she dresses, but I’ve never quite been able to appreciate it-this outfit proves to me that her style doesn't automatically equal ugly and occasionally, she can make it work.

(L-R: Leona Lewis, Colton Haynes, Dita von Teese)

Elton John’s Oscars afterparty being the less exciting of the two big ones in terms of fashion-the other being the Vanity Fair afterparty which I’ll cover in a moment-I thought I’d whizz through it (posturing aside though, I bet Sir Elton’s party was a lot more fun).

(L-R: Chiara Ferragni, Donatella Versace, Bella Thorne)

This is a big statement considering Alexa Demie attended, but I think Chiara’s outfit and overall styling might be my favourite of the partygoers; if they decided to do a live action Barbie film in 2020 minus the PG ratio-because lets be real, she’d be a noughties Paris Hilton type and get up to some SHENANIGANS-this is the look that would become iconic. 

(L-R: Ashley Greene in Off-White, Alexa Demie, Sydney Sweeney, Annalynne McCord)

It was a hard decision to make though: I’m just as into Sydney Sweeney’s interpretation of burlesque come 1950s red carpet Barbie, Ashley Greene’s surprisingly delicate Off-White number, and Alexa’s dress and (as always) impeccable styling. That being said, Chiara’s clearest contender here for the best dressed of the night is Annalynne McCord. I know I'm one to throw similes around but she looks like an ACTUAL Disney princess-the dress is magical and an absolutely flawless fit. She carries it with such grace. I'm truly in love.

(L-R: Tessa Thompson in Versace, Vanessa Hudgens in Vera Wang, SZA)

As for the Vanity Fair Oscars afterparty, there were SO many iconic moments this year. SZA was the definition of the fire emoji, Tessa Thompson’s throwback Versace was the mermaid’s take on BDSM fashion I never knew I need to see, and I’d die to turn up to my graduation ceremony (here’s hoping for a successful attempt at the old uni shebang this time, lol) looking as elegant and simultaneously extra as Vanessa Hudgens did in Vera Wang. I mean, this was before Vanessa went on her dumb Instagram live corona rant because she was upset she couldn’t go to Coachella and I still kinda lived for her, mostly because of moments like this. She’s always been the queen of channelling a more hedonistic, carefree era and this dress is the most refined example of that boho decadence yet. It sounds dramatic to say but the rich purple is such a bold choice considering it’s a a colour we rarely see on the red carpet but now I’ve seen eggplant coloured silk I need it, lol. 

(L-R: Suki Waterhouse in Fendi, Lili Reinhart in Marc Jacobs, Lucy Boynton and Margaret Qualley in Chanel)

Then there was Suki, Lilly, Lucy and Margaret as well who all went full angel mode in some of my favourite runway looks of last summer’s haute couture week; Suki’s Fendi dress and Lili’s Marc Jacobs number were highlights of both their shows and there’s something even more magical about them both when the uniformity of the runway is removed. I also would go on about how much I love Lucy Boynton’s style for the millionth time but I think you get my point.

(L-R: Nicole Richie, Cynthia Erivo, Hunter Schafer, Billie Porter)

The more I look at the photos I saved from the Vanity Fair “red” carpet, the more I come to the firm conclusion that these looks are my favourite as a collective. Along with the elegance and sex appeal of the outfits above, we’ve got all these looks too which are so VIBRANT and fun and experimental. Billie Porter is absolutely majestic and continues his reign as the king of in-your-face, theatrical red carpet style, and Hunter and Cynthia look so radiant. Whilst Nicole’s look isn’t as colourful, she still brought drama with the satin gloves and the smoke lined eyes, and she is definitely ready to step on someone’s neck here.

(L-R: Halima Aden, Ella Balinska in Schiaparelli, Emma Roberts, Ciara)

(L-R: Kiki Layne in Michael Kors, Kim Kardashian in Alexander McQueen, Kylie Jenner in Ralph and Russo, Lashana Lynch in Michael Kors)

(L-R: Rowan Blanchard in Iris van Herpen, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Stella Maxwell, and Sarah Paulson with Holland Taylor)

I’ve got to say, it’s really cool to see Rowan Blanchard in Iris van Herpen too; it’s interesting that as far as I know, she and Joey King were the only ones to wear her this awards season, both being up and coming actresses. It would be a good choice for the brand, probably best known for its futuristic, conceptual aesthetic, to also focus its PR efforts on the young potential inheriting that future. Orrrr it could just be that Rowan, Joey and I have the same (good, lol) taste-not gonna lie, from my experience of stalking her instagram Rowan Blanchard does make some unique fashion choices and her feed is full of bold outfit inspiration.

(L-R: Adriana Lima in Ralph and Russo, Alessandra Ambrosio in Armani, Billie Eilish in Gucci, and Donatella Versace in Versace)

Then there’s Billie Eilish, who is really on another level. This is her second custom made baggy suit of the night, this time Gucci. IMAGINE. Chanel and Gucci making custom pieces to suit your very specific style. Again, though, I really like this; whilst it’s very clearly a Billie outfit, it’s got a level of sophistication, cohesiveness and glamour to it that takes it to that I can admire. 

(L-R: Camila Mendes in Moschino, Barbara Palvin and Dylan Sprouse, and Chiara Ferragni)

Honestly, the Vanity Fair red carpet really belonged to young talent this year, and Camila Mendes in one of my favourite Moschino looks from the Picasso collection really seals it. She could’ve just gone for a basic pretty dress-this isn’t a natural choice-but she really does have the proud, regal look of a woman who knows some man is gonna paint her a portrait that will end up in a famous gallery one day. 

One last thing before I move on, though. How the fuck does Chiara Ferragni get everywhere?! And by that I don’t mean how does she get invited, I had the shock of finding out this woman I followed on Instagram because I liked her outfits and thought she was pretty is a hugely successful businesswoman in Italy long ago. Power to her. She’s a big deal! I get it! I just mean, physically HOW? How do you hit Elton John’s party AND the Vanity Fair party in one night and look this good? God really does have favourites, huh. Well, I guess in this hypothetical scenario where I believe in him anyway. 

The SAG Awards

(L-R: Dakota Fanning in Valentino, Kaitlyn Dever in Ralph Lauren, Scarlett Johansson in Armani, and Zoe Kravitz in Oscar de la Renta)

So, I kinda forgot the SAG awards existed and thought that my post was basically finished before I looked in my folder and saw the one dedicated to this ceremony. My initial reaction was like “oh, this is the shitty Oscars, right?” and I assumed the red carpet would be shit and that I could call it a night-it’s 3:30am, I wish I was calling it a night-but then I looked and saw that I had even more outfit photos saved in that folder than I did for my Oscar dedicated one. Because fuck, I want to to sleep, but the SAG awards had a surprisingly good turn out?! So maybe not as irrelevant a ceremony as I thought? Because Dakota Fanning turned up looking like some divine mythical being again, Scarlett Johansson pulled another incredible look out the bag, Zoe Kravitz was a modernised Audrey Hepburn, and Kaitlyn Dever read my comments about her dress being “timelessly pretty” and said “bitch, you really thought” before showing up looking hot as fuck. Truth be told, I think the SAG awards were first but in this universe where Kaitlyn Dever would pay any attention to my opinion of her outfit do we really care? 

(L-R: America Ferrera, Andrew Scott in Azzaro Couture, Camila Mendes in Ralph and Russo, Caleb McLaughlin )

(L-R: Lupita Nyongo in Louis Vuitton, Lily Allen, Nathalie Emmanuel in Miu Miu, Cynthia Erivo in Schiaparelli)

See, I was going to make a comment above how I took back what I said about Camila Mendes not just going for pretty dresses (which I guess I just did here instead-JUST TO BE CLEAR SHE STILL LOOKS STUNNING) and then I uploaded the next photo set and got distracted by 2 things:

1. How weird it is that British legend Lily Allen, who does not get NEAR enough credit for her smart her songs were might I add, is dating David Harbour AKA. Hopper off Stranger Things!?

2. How mad I still am about Game of Thrones and how dirty the writers did Nathalie Emmanuel (and Emilia Clarke and Lena Heady and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and basically everyone else on that show but that’s another story).

In this same universe where Kaitlyn Dever cares about my opinion can we make the issues I have in the last bullet point not exist? Please?

(L-R: Sophie Turner in Louis Vuitton, Renee Zellweger in Maison Margiela, Phoebe Waller-Bridge in Armani, and Renee Bargh)

(L-R: Gwendoline Christie in Rick Owens, Madeline Brewer in Monique Lhuillier, Kathryn Newton in Valentino, and Lili Reinhart in Miu Miu)

Finishing off the SAG looks, we’ve got the four above. 

Once again, Kathryn Newton was Valentino’s blushing crown jewell; Allie Pressman hate aside, she really is the perfect dressing up doll for the brand. Fresh faced and poised, she has all the elegance and gentle femininity necessary to make floating down the runway as Valentino models do look natural, and Lili Reinhart did an equally good job being a Miu Miu girl. She makes that idiosyncratic cutesy-ness work, all the frills and fragility of a china tea set look easy where I’d just look like I’d been consumed by a charity shop doily. Madeline Brewer did a good job too, helping a Monique Lhuillier design pop in a way that it doesn’t usually. When your hair is bright red and your dress cerulean blue, coral tinted lipstick is a *ahem* choice, buuut in this case it paid off because the result is a look which demanded my attention-ML dresses are reliably pretty, however, they tend to be predictable. Madeline and her styling did a good job subverting that formula. To end the section, though, I feel it’s only fair to save my fave woman til last-probably one of the few people in the world that isn’t a Rick Owens model that can pull off his designs. Ofc, I’m talking about the queen that is Gwendoline Christie. If we’re talking embodying brands, she did justice like nobody else could to the spectacle of Owens’ formidable, out-of-this-world aesthetic. This is her version of the princess moment, and when you’re as striking as she is, nothing less would do. 

At least my girl Brienne of Tarth is thriving<3

The Grammys

(L-R: Ariana Grande in Giambattista Valli, Cardi B in Mugler, and Pia Mia in Julien Macdonald)

TBH, like I said with the Brits, I never planned to do any music award ceremony red carpets, just because I feel like the fashion tends to be more geared towards a younger audience buuuut I’m kinda glad I changed because Ariana looks INCREDIBLE. MESMERISING. TRANSCENDENT. JFC. There’s a reason the photo of her on her Wiki page has been changed to one from this night and it’s because she looks absolutely exquisite, like some kind of moon goddess with an R&B touch which I suppose is kind of her brand? Sometimes I go kind of lukewarm on Giambattista Valli and forget how mystical but at the same time frothy and indulgent and all around luxurious the pieces can be. This is a cupcake of a dress and I want to eat it. Cardi B has become a bit of an unexpected fashion icon and Pia Mia looks as hot-party-girl as ever but I feel to put anyone next to Ariana in this dress seems harsh because she just completely stole the show and I don’t even know if she won any Grammys.

(L-R: Josephine Relli, Gwen Stefani, Jameela Jamil in Georges Chakra, and Chrissy Teigen in Yanina Couture)

Other than Ariana, I’m not gonna lie, there was nothing wildly exciting, BUT I did think there were some beautiful colours out on the runway-plus for all her occasionally bad takes I really like what Jameela Jamil stands for and her style has always been very quirky cool. The electric blue tiled effect with the black mesh underneath kinda reminds me of a peacock, and contrasts wonderfully with the carpet-it’s very reminiscent of her T4 days. She’s one of those people that seems to get aggression directed at her that’s completely disproportionate to whatever it is she’s supposed to have done; sometimes the way she goes about saying things is wrong but the intention behind what she’s saying is usually good. Then again, the internet still despises Chrissy Teigen (in a way that’s kind of excessive considering what we seem to collectively let some people get away with) for a dumb AirPods tweet and I’ve included her too. THIS IS NOT A POLITICAL STATEMENT, this time anyway. I just think she looks good!

If I’m going to get controversial about anything, it’ll be Gwen Stefani. She looks stunning, the dress is stunning, and the boots are stunning. The outfit is not my problem! My problem is how she seems not to have aged at all. This woman is 50 years old! That she drank the blood of her Harajuku girls is the only explanation here. Can you imagine if she tried to pull that shit today? She’d get rightly accused of being a culturally appropriating weeb in about 10 seconds flat and we’d have to pretend to stop liking Cool and Hollaback Girl. 

(L-R: Finneas O’Connell in Gucci, Lucky Daye, and Shaun Ross)

(L-R: Tess Holliday, Dua Lipa in Alexander Wang, Tyler the Creator, and Grace Elizabeth in Giuseppe di Morabito)

Back to what I’m supposed to be talking about in this blog post: the fashion. And here, most importantly, Tyler the Creator looking like a cast member of the Grand Budapest Hotel. IDK why. But I love this man.

(L-R: Lil Nas X in Versace, Lizzo in Versace, and Shawn Mendes in Louis Vuitton)

(L-R: Billie Porter, FKA Twigs in Ed Marler, and Swae Lee in Giuseppe Zanotti)

See in general, the men were a lot more interesting on the Grammys red carpet. With the exception of Twigs, Dua and obviously Ariana, the men’s outfits are a lot more memorable; Billie Porter became the most fashionable meme on the internet, for god’s sake. And even when their outfits weren’t extravagant, they were just more interesting, imo, which is a rare occurrence. I didn’t expect Finneas O’Connell to be the writing half of Billie Eilish (the other half being Billie herself) I cared about and yet, in that Gucci blazer, here we are. 

(L-R: Jessie J, Hailee Steinfeld, and Madison Beer)

(L-R: H.E.R, Usher, FKA Twigs, and Matt Shultz)

Of the afterparty looks, my favourites are what we can see of these more casual outfits-I love what F.K.A Twigs and H.E.R are wearing, the headscarf with the leatherjacket on top is in particular very throwback rockabilly, and I’m even into whatever it is Usher’s got on.

(L-R: Olivia O’Brien, Amine, and Alrissa)

(L-R: Salem Mitchell, Machine Gun Kelly, and Sydney Sweeney)

Now, how to round this all up!? How to relate the confusingly persistent but very welcome presence of Sydney Sweeney on, like, ALL these red carpets back to the MET!?

IDEK. It’s been a long year. 

The Met Gala has usually come and gone before we know it, but with everything going on, it’s been the longest January-May I think most of us have ever known. I keep going on about COVID-19 in all my posts now but I have almost forgotten how to write an intro and outro because the pandemic is pretty much consistently on the brain and unless I have something right in front of me to use as a distraction, my mind tends to wander off into a very anxious place. I think, like many others, I feel frustrated and disappointed and angry with the way the situation is being handled by the people who are supposed to protect their citizens, and by how much of a fight some are putting up against measures that are in place to try and save lives. The point of this ramble, I guess, is that whilst we should never forget what’s going on and do the best we can to help prevent the spread of the virus, it’s okay to still care about mundane shit. Was this post one big long distraction for me? Probably. But if there’s something harmless you can do to keep your anxiety at bay, don’t feel bad for doing it. Contrary to popular belief, you can care about more than one thing at once. You can be sad that something you were looking forward to has been cancelled whilst still being sad for the people who are suffering because they’ve lost love ones or who have been forced into precarious living conditions. If talking about clothes on the internet is going to help you get through this pandemic, power to you.

If anyone has read til the end, thank you! I hope you are well! As always, feel free to reply to the post or inbox me with your thoughts! It doesn’t even have to be related to this post. If you’re struggling with everything going on, feel free to reach out too. I spend too much time on the internet anyway, lol! My plans are to finish my fashion week reviews and then I have a Lana Del Rey albums inspired lookbook which I pinched off the stans on Twitter (who I will of course credit when I write it!). For the time being, look after yourselves!

Lauren x

#met gala #fashion #high fashion #red carpet #haute couture #dior #chanel #style #style inspiration #fashion review #outfit inspo #designer #pop culture #celebrity #zoe kravitz #brie larson #cardib #ariana grande #film #oscars #award season #beauty #beauty inspiration #armani #runway #dresses #marc jacobs #lili reinhart #miu miu #saoirse ronan

[catubarca]

Harry Potter Next Generation Headcanons

im bored. im full of emotions, and am rly missing the HP world... i just want to write down my headcannons for the next gen kiddos tbh.

please remember these are just my opinions? its okay if yours are different. im just bored and want to share my thoughts,,

Teddy Lupin

his name is Theodore Remus “Teddy” Lupin. it’s just what it is

I don’t care what JKR says, to me his name will always be Theodore

i can’t do this “Edward” stuff im so sorry,,,

h u f f l e p u f f

proper school uniform? never heard of it

messy hair, messy clothes

punk rock child

we’re talking like,,,at least two (2) lip piercings ok

absolutely terrible in herbology. do not leave this child alone in a greenhouse, bad things happen

fuckin hoards chocolate

its a problem

dating Victorie Weasley

random bursts of dancing

keeps a lock of hair pink for his mother

lives with the Potters, enjoys pretending to be Ginny to ground his siblings

“Lily, why aren’t you coming out of your room? Dinner’s ready?” “You said I’m grounded! You tell me!” “What? Oh, for the- THEODORE REMUS LUPIN-“

s m i r k s

effortlessly cool,,, but so so dorky,,, in a cool way

Victorie Weasley

ravenclaw!

looks a lot like her mother, Fleur, but inherited those Weasley freckles

a little confused a lot of the time

absolute sweet tooth (teddy abuses this fact a lot)

Mom Friend™

will help you with your homework

always got a book on her

super beautiful and like,,,, the absolute nicest person,,, but

cannot dance

like at all

adores Charms class

a softie you don’t want to cross

“I’m the oldest”

Dominique Weasley

inherited the Classic Weasley Red Hair™

idolises her Uncle Charlie

“I wanna save animals and work with cool dragons, just like Uncle Charlie does!”

Bill almost has a heart attack

always bringing stray animals home

(“is that a lizard in your pocket, Dominique?” “Yes! His name is Blob.” “You know how your father’s afraid of reptiles, sweetheart, you can’t bring it inside.”)

Gryffindor child

favourite class is definitely Care of Magical Creatures, she and Hagrid like to talk about proper care methods for rare creatures

perpetual dirt stains

BIG middle child vibes

doesn’t really label her sexuality… just kinda does what she wants rly

all the pets in Hogwarts love her

rumours are she’s got an innate, natural magical ability to make them all love her

(she feeds them under the table)

it’s a mystery

big advocate for animal rights

f e m i n i s t

willing to throw hands at all times

usually all smiles though

one of those people who use their whole bodies to laugh

kind of an accidental heartthrob

romcoms

Louis Weasley

looks the most like his mother

ravenclaw

absolutely filled with curiosity. always reading or talking or learning

random facts

(how do you even find that sort of information?

you don’t want to know)

coffee boy

sort of musically talented?

he and James Sirius preach the importance of skincare to all who will listen

secretly full of sass and dry wit

vry graceful and fluid

e y e r o l l

awkward smiles? can never smile properly in photos

on the ravenclaw quidditch team

Ravenclaw Prefect

(“You might be older, but I’m taller.” “Fuck off!”)

only watches High Quality™ tv shows/media

kind of a disaster, despite the gracefulness

Molly Weasley

Classic red hair

comes across as a bit uptight, like her father

I don’t care what you think. (She really cares what you think.)

E y e b r o w s

death glares

drinks like 5 cups of coffee in the morning

studies,,, like a lot

definitely a Gryffindor though

mom jeans

always ready to debate a topic. will destroy opponents.

has been trying to start a successful Debate Club for like 4 years now

naturally falls into the position of a group leader

would be a teacher’s pet, if she wasn’t ready At All Times™ to debate the relevancy of the course syllabus or outdated teaching methods

got into a fight with Severus Snape’s portrait in Headmistress McGonagall’s office.

(Dumbledore’s portrait was laughing, until she turned and ragged on him for a bit. Minerva thought it was absolutely hilarious, so she just let Molly go at it for a while).

full of rage towards everything, but wears a very careful mask of aloofness

to calm down, she likes painting her nails

she’s very good at it

she’s also very good at painting and art in general, weirdly enough

Lucy Weasley

G R Y F F I N D O R

adores shitty puns and has a terrible sense of humour

brown hair, not red

loves to prank people, which makes her Uncle George very proud

Percy complains about her behaviour, but makes sure he knows he’s proud too

(charming all the cauldrons in the potions classroom to scream whenever they’re stirred takes a more complex understanding of spell work than one would expect).

a pit of a punk streak

rly loves hip hop

high key drama queen

does she ever stop yelling? we’re yet to find out

average grades in terms of theory, but she’s the best in terms of applying information

especially for her pranks

has allies throughout the castle, from the portraits to the students

the bigger the prank, the better

but is a firm believer in “confuse, don’t abuse”

all her pranks are mostly harmless

is a surprising lover of older literature, like Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, an influence of her sister

a bit rebellious

Fred Weasley II

name isn’t officially “the second”, but it sounds cooler

James Potter, Lucy Weasley, Molly Weasley and Fred Weasley are like the Marauders 2.0

says “squad” and “lit” unironically

niche humour

hipster vibes

avid music lover

smiley sunshine child

takes after his mother the most in looks, just like his sister

a chill type of gryffindor

plays quidditch, and is an excellent chaser, just like his mother

the absolute undisputed King™ of puppy-dog eyes

just,,,, beautiful

the True teacher’s pet

hands in his work on time,, asks lots of questions,,, likes helping students understand their work,, what a boy

can hella nyoom

runs so fast

look at him go

as you might expect, loves a good prank. always down for a laugh

Roxanne Weasley

Gryffindor and pROUD

absolute Queen tbh

was definitely Head Prefect or Gryffindor Prefect at some point

loved by the school

absolute legend

G I R L   P O W E R

infectious laughter

has a soft spot for Louis Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy

these poor disaster children,,,, they need a Mother

M O M

big mom vibes

mothers the hell out of all the first years

a feminist through and through

can be found nodding aggressively to Molly Weasley’s semi-deranged, furious ranting

YAAAASS

loves slang. uses so much slang. always up to date with trends and memes

has all the gossip

becomes a mess around pretty girls

absolute blushing, stuttering disaster around cute girls oh my god

her eye make-up game is killer

sparkly

Distinguished Lesbian

Rosie Weasley

did someone say Weasley™?

red hair and freckles and curls oh my

on the autism spectrum, has trouble socialising sometimes

hella passionate about stuff

hangs out with Scorpius and Albus, the Golden Trio 2.0

f em ini st

her jokes are the best. high quality sense of humour.

Ravenclaw

likes to read. it’s quiet in the school library, which is nice.

abysmal at herbology

surprisingly good at Care of Magical Creatures though? Animals are just,,, so much easier to deal with

overall, really good grades though

bit of a silent type, but she’s actually a riot to hang out with

actually pretty good at quidditch? She’s not on the team, and she’s not super interested in playing, but?? She’s not bad??

She can land a solid hit with a beater’s bat

(eyes you judgementally over the top of a book)

dry wit humour

will throw hands over chess

Hugo Weasley

hufflepuff

unbeatable at chess, like his dad

a lost puppy

someone please help this child

softie

kind of low-key emotional

so supportive!! and loyal!! high-key best friend material

foodie. loves food. please feed him.

takes a bit more after his dad appearance wise

loves to cook. spends lots of time with grandma Molly and his dad in the kitchen

Professor Longbottom is his favourite professor, because he’s more chilled and laidback.

other professors and classes fill him with Distress™

loves astronomy too

maths whizz, so good at arithmancy

(“uh, actually-“)

a little bossy, like his mother

is trying so hard

maybe a little too hard

a bit insecure and nervous, but so soft

please treat this child carefully and with love

James Sirius Potter

Gryffindor

L O U D

a fucking disaster child

what’d you expect, putting “James” and “Sirius” together?

DRAMATIC GASPING

flails his hands around when he talks

s t r u t s

bisexual mess, had a crush on both the Longbottom children at some point

is better than you at everything

including being a different gender

fuck you that’s why

so pretty

he’s so pretty

is thIS CHILD EVER NOT LAUGHING AT SOMETHING OH My god

laughs at everything

all the time

always

high-key emotional

badly timed finger guns

looks like a model in photos? wtf?

gets invited to Girls Nights™

wears nail polish and makeup

loves to yell at people about gender roles and defying stereotypes

TEA SIS

not on the quidditch team surprisingly enough, even though he’s pretty good

prefers to be in the stands, doing A+ commentary on the games

if he can get Fred to stop mid-air due to unbearable, suffocating laughter at least once a game it’s a win in his books

has it OUT for the hufflepuff quidditch team and no one knows why??

definitely makes puns on his name

it drives everyone insane

harry always replies he’s just making his namesake proud

that also drives everyone insane

smug lil shit

Albus Severus Potter

“It’s just Al.”

S L Y T H E R I N

will always find a way to get what he wants, eventually

“dad, why did you name me this way?”

unimpressed

sigh

hella smart. is topping at least five classes

Aunt Hermione is his favourite. She’s the fucking Mistress of Magic! All that power, the ability to make change and improve the Magical World as a whole-

sass master

the reason headmistress mcgonagall keeps a bottle of scotch under her desk at all times

the only potter child to inherit The Eyes™

absolute insomniac

kind of emo, but turns into a fucking softie around Scorpius Malfoy it’s hilarious

adverse to violence. prefers a verbal beatdown method

really tall? despite having shorties for parents??? no one saw it coming

(especially not Teddy. He’s always scared of losing his last few inches of height)

Functional Gay

he’s on the slytherin quidditch team, as a seeker

Lily Luna Potter

Gryffindor

FEMINIST

do not mess with lily luna potter

she may seem cute and sweet, but she will destroy you

inherited her father’s black hair

disaster lesbian

transfiguration is her favourite subject, by far

has no idea what she wants to do with the rest of her life.

Existential Crisis Father-Daughter Bonding Time™

do you ever sleep?

takes after Ginny the most in personality

also, kind of the most like James Fleamont Potter in personality, too?

Loves to help her brother out with pranks, laughs at him when he gets caught and she gets away with it

The only one of the Potter Children who hasn’t got into a fight with Severus Snape’s portrait

because she just ignores him instead

loves talking to the portraits around the castle

Super good at Quidditch, is on the team as a Chaser

Quidditch Captain at some point

adores Hagrid, but who out of the Potter children doesn’t?

Idolises Minerva McGonagall

just as oblivious as her father

Scorpius Malfoy

Actually in Ravenclaw, not Slytherin, much to many people’s surprise

abSOLUTE DADDY’S BOY

super close with his dad

Draco is just so supportive of like everything he does (unlike his father)

classic blonde malfoy looks

actually really funny?

a cuddler. loves hugs. always leeching warmth off of someone

he and Rosie sometimes finger-tip-touch which is their version of a hug, because he know’s she’s not super comfortable with touch

was basically adopted by the Weasley’s and Potter’s

James Sirius will murder for this child

booknerd, always rambling to Al and Rosie about new books coming out he’s interested in reading.

has had a crush on Albus Potter since like 1st year

always worried about making his dad proud, and keeping up the Malfoy name

sweet tooth

he’s just,, soft. just a warm, happy child. he wants love, and affection. someone tell him he’s doing okay, please.

needs,,, validation,,,

he’ll tell you out loud that he has no favourite aunts or uncles, but he secretly really likes spending time with his Uncle Ron

they had a talk, once, in like the middle of the night at a sleepover with Rosie and Al, about feeling insecure in comparison to others, and learning to be proud of yourself for your achievements

there were a few tears, but it was nice

Ron was actually the third person he told, besides his dad and Rosie, about having a crush on Al

openly a disaster romantic. trash taste in romance novels.

always welcome in the Potter-Weasley households

#harry potter #harry potter next generation #next generation headcannons #headcanon #it's just my opinion #please don't hurt me #teddy lupin #victorie weasley #dominique weasley #louis weasley #molly weasley #lucy weasley #fred weasley #roxanne weasley #rosie weasley #rose weasley #james sirius potter #albus severus potter #lily luna potter #scorpius malfoy #scorbus #scorpius x albus #next gen hp #next gen harry potter #next gen kids #headcannons #headcannon #slytherin #gryffindor #hufflepuff

[abbacchiosbelt]

Howdy!! First off I just wanna say I adoooooore your writing!! Second, can I request like. General Fluffy La Squadra headcanons for when they’re in a relationship??? ♥️♥️♥️

thank you, friend! and thanks for waiting for this request, i enjoyed it!under the cut for length!

Risotto, who is untraditional in every otherway, enjoys a more classic style to his relationships. He likes date nights,taking his partner out on anniversaries, cooking together, and ending the nighttucked up in bed together. Unfortunately for the Capo, this style ofrelationship isn’t very easy to maintain with his job. He’ll try his best,though. He can’t go out in public as much as he’d like (mainly for yoursafety), so he’ll try to make dates at home romantic.

He doesn’ttalk a lot – but he loves to hear his partner’s voice. Depending on what sortof thing he’s handling, he doesn’t mind if you join him in his office and talkto him while he works. He’s not easily distracted and finds your voice helpshim focus. He likes being read to, as he doesn’t often get the time to read byhimself.

Risottoisn’t one for PDA, but he can’t get enough of you when the two of you arealone. He prefers when you curl up in his lap, or at least sit close enough tohim that the two of you are touching. The time you have together isn’t as muchas he would like, so he intends to make the most of it.

He imitateskisses more than one might expect. (Mostly, so he can pull you up close to himsince most of his partners aren’t tall enough to reach his lips.) His kissesare deep and passionate.

He remembersjust about everything you say – so don’t be surprised if the makeup you wantedor the piece of clothing you were eyeing appears on your bed one day.

Formaggio never expected to settledown, let alone be in a long-term relationship. It’s new territory for him, buthe’s not complaining. He’s going to be the same guy you fell for no matterwhat, but he’s going to focus his affections only on you. Flirt back, though –he likes to be sought after, too.

The biggestcuddler you’ll ever meet. It doesn’t matter if the two of you are in public oralone, he’s going to find some way to get close to you. He likes to wrap hisarms around you more than anything, but he’s more than content to lay his headon your chest and fall asleep as well. His cats will also cuddle you.

He likes tobe spontaneous, so he’ll surprise you with all sorts of dates. New experiencesfuel him, so be ready to take on whatever he gets the two of you into. He stillenjoys going out for a drink, too. Getting the chance to show you off means alot to him, so play it up when the two of you go out to have him like putty inyour hands for the next week.

Even thoughhe’s an adventurous and busy guy, he still loves to laze around with hispartner. Expect some days to be spent cuddled up on the couch with snacks andbeer while the two of you binge-watch trashy TV shows or old movies.

He’ll callyou cheesy pet names as a joke, but he’ll actually get really into it.

Illuso likes to play hard to get, evenwithin his relationships. It’s fun, for him. He likes a partner who is up tothe challenge – but it’s only because he likes you so much that he relented andasked you out in the first place. He teases and flirts and makes littleremarks, if only to see your reaction. Retaliating back will make him evenhappier. Despite his finicky nature, he still showers you with plenty ofaffection, even if he is coy about it sometimes.

He’s alwaysinterested in your hobbies. He wants to know what you like so he can try it outas well. Most of the time, Illuso prefers to stay in the comfort of his own home,so enjoying a hobby together would be important to him. Or, he simply likes tosit with you quietly whilst you read or do something else that isn’t loud. Hewill, however, share gossip with you about the team.

He loves towatch trashy television with you and cuddle up on the couch. When he’s not inpublic, Illuso loves to cling to you and shower you with affection. It’s evenbetter if the two of you are pressed tightly together and laughing on thecouch. Not many people share his sense of humor, so there’s nothing me he lovesthan to laugh with you without feeling judged. He’ll like it even more if you’reinto dark humor.

He likes windowshopping with you – he finds it fun to put together rooms in his head, and whenyou join him, it makes him feel warm in a way he can’t describe.

Illuso is agreat kisser and again, very affectionate in private. His best kisses arealways when he comes home after a long mission.

Pesci is shy and unsure, but he does knowhe loves his S/O a lot! Much of what you have with Pesci is going to be alearning experience, but it’s going to be fun and filled with lots of silly andheartwarming moments.

When he hastime, Pesci likes to take you out on traditional dates, complete with flowersand dinner at a nice restaurant. After, he likes to walk along the pier withyou and enjoy the ocean breeze. He blushes if you hold his hand, but he reallylikes it. He’ll put an arm around you if it’s cold out and hold you close.

He wants toadopt a pet with you very badly. While he loves fish, he thinks it’d be fun toown a fluffy animal. Adopt a cat, dog, or bunny with him and he’ll be a dotingpet parent with you. He always takes pictures of you and your shared pet whenyou’re not watching so he can look at them later since you’re so cute!

Perfect forcuddling, even if he is shy about it at first. He quickly finds that being nearyou makes him feel safe, so he’s more than happy to pull you close or be heldby you.

He lovesoutdoor activities, like hiking and fishing. He adores teaching you how tofish, if you’ve never done it before. Spending time with you in the peacefuloutdoors is his definition of a perfect day – he’ll often pack a picnic for theboth of you to enjoy.

Prosciutto is a bit more traditional – he opensdoors for you, always pays for dates, opens the car door, and doesn’t kiss youthe first time until you give him permission. He does expect a similar sort of treatmentback, though, so he likes if his partner defers decisions to him. A non-traditionalpartner won’t bother him too much, though – he likes their fiery nature.

Despite hisviews, he loves someone he can talk to openly about anything. He values youropinions and finds you engaging to talk to, no matter the subject. He loves tosit with you at night with a glass of wine in hand whilst the two of you talkabout your days, or whatever else you come up with. A parent Prosciutto can behimself front of is important to him.

Charmingwith a bit of a bite – he’s never too mean, but he likes when he gets a quip ortwo back from you. He loves to flirt and make you blush so he can kiss your redcheeks.

He’ll takeyou to the movies often. He enjoys films, and especially enjoys wrapping an armaround his partner while the two of you enjoy it. Be prepared to hear a reviewfrom him afterwards, though!

He can bealoof, but with enough sweet words, you can convince him to cuddle you. He hasthe capacity to be affectionate, he’s just a bit weird about it. Still, he’salways warm and likes to have you sit on his lap. Prosciutto is too good of a kisser.

Melone is extra, but there’s never a dullmoment when you’re dating him! He’s ecstatic to have a S/O and will let youknow it with tons of affection and praise.

He likes todo everything with you, if you’ll let him. Running errands is so much more funwith his partner, in his mind. It makes Melone feel domestic, too. He likes topeople-watch with you when the two of you are out on errands, though he triesto keep his Stand stuff out of it.

Melone willtake you to a lot of interesting places – he’s always looking for new places tovisit, whether it be museums, little hidden shops, or restaurants. He makestime for dates and always treats these outings as such. Melone is the type ofperson to set an outfit out for you in hopes that you’ll wear it.

He wants totake a lot of pictures of you by yourself,and lots of couple pictures as well. He just thinks you’re beautiful and wantsa lot of pictures!

An expert atcuddling – he can’t get enough of being close to you. Pretty good at kissing,but he prefers to use his mouth elsewhere…

Ghiaccio is just as wild and loud as usual,but he takes his time to focus on not directing his anger at you. He cherishes his S/O, because it’srare for people to put up with him for an extended amount of time.

He’s goingto act aloof, still, but you’re the most tolerable person he’s ever met andthere’s nothing more he’d rather do than spend time with you. Whether the twoof you are relaxing in silence or discussing the newest shitty movie in theaters,Ghiaccio is happy to have you there.

He’s active,so he loves having a partner who joins him at the gym and has fun trying newactivities, like rock climbing. He likes swimming, too, though he gets red whenhe sees you in your cute swimsuit. Even if you’re not super active, that’sokay. If you encourage him and come watch him, it’s enough to fuel his ego andmake him feel good.

He willinsist on taking you ice skating, of course, and showing off. If you’re terribleat it, he may grumble and laugh at your expense, but he finds it cute.

If you riffon things with him, he’ll be very pleased. Someone who listens to and encourageshis appropriate rants is a lot of fun, to Ghiaccio.

He’s a bratabout cuddling – he secretly loves it, but he acts strange when it comes toaffection. Just get him really tired and curl up next to him, he’ll love it.

Sorbet & Gelato aren’t exactly a soft couple, but that doesn’t mean theydon’t have tender moments with you sometimes. It’s rare enough that they letsomeone into their relationship – and even rarer that you’ve made it this long.You better enjoy those fluffy moments!

Sorbet likesto hear your thoughts on things – you and Gelato are very different from eachother, and whilst Gelato certainly isn’t dumb, some of his opinions are just…strange. So Sorbet likes to hear what you think about books the two of youread, or how you feel about current news. Maybe it’s bland to some people, but Sorbetlikes it for what it is.

Gelato, onthe other hand, likes introducing you to weird stuff and seeing your reaction.Sorbet always shakes his head, but you give him actual reactions! He won’t pushyour limits too much (not the time for him), but he really just enjoys seeingthe different expressions you make upon seeing what fucked up thing Gelato haschosen to show you this time.

They bothenjoy private dinners with you – preferably cooked by the three of you andenjoyed in the night air with a nice bottle of wine. They’re capable of beingromantic, sometimes. Gelato always pouts about sitting on Sorbet’s lap, butthen wants you to sit on his, so you both crush Sorbet until he bucks you off.

They onlyreveal their secret “old people hobbies” to you – Gelato likes to do thosepuzzles with 1000+ pieces and Sorbet watches really dramatic soap operas. Gelatodoesn’t like when you or Sorbet touch the puzzle, but he likes to have youwatch. Sorbet could spend hours talking to you about the plot of the soap operaand he loves when you sit with him and watch.

#vento aureo #la squadra #jjba headcanons #jojo's bizarre adventure #risotto nero #formaggio #illuso #pesci #prosciutto #melone #ghiaccio #sorbet #gelato #Anonymous #my writing

[nazamax]

All the sweetheart asks. Heh.

Are you kidding me... It took me AGES.

Talk about your first love.It was young and foolish. Full of hidden kisses, rules we’d both break, nightly sneaking out. Holding hands when we’d be alone and me teasing her whenever there were eyes on us. Quite dumb, when I think about it. It was fun while it lasted.

What’s the most beautiful songs you’ve ever heard in your opinion?The most beautiful songs are those who have memories that are dear and important connected to them.

How’s your heart feeling right now?A little hurt, still, however I can feel it heal. It’s a wonderful feeling.

What kind of self care is your favorite to do?Is working out self care? Because I do enjoy that. If not... I do enjoy letting myself turn off the phone fully, cook a delicious meal and let myself game for few hours. I don’t have much time for that in my life since it’s quite busy so I find it truly relaxing.

What’s your skincare routine?I use a cleanser, moisturizer daily. Sunscreen, lip balm and hand cream if needed.

How did you get to be so beautiful?I worked hard on it, haha. Thanks.

Do you have any stuffed animals?I actually have a few still back in London, haha.

Best trip you’ve ever been on?It’s hard to choose between Japan and Nice. Those are my favourite places to be.

Favorite thing about your room?I love the roof-windows. It’s nice to wake up to the sun lighting up the room so neatly.

Opinion on love?It’s something that shouldn’t be toyed with - the phrase “I love you” can be told without actual meaning behind it - one should be more careful about it. It can hurt, it can be ugly. It takes patience and time. It’s not all about kisses and sex, beauty and smiles. It’s about seeing the ugly parts of someone you want in your life, accepting them and working on with them. Love doesn’t change you, it only pulls out the new parts of you that you weren’t sure of.

Are you affectionate?Oh, I am.

Who do you look up to?That’s a great question. In a way - I guess it’s my mother. She’s a wonderful woman who has it all in life.

Favorite poet?I don’t have one.

Song that makes you happy? How about one that calms you down when you’re in a bad place?Aaron Smith's  Dancin' & STRFKR - Golden Light.

Do you play an instrument?I can play a few chords on guitar haha.

Do you do art? Using what (pencil, watercolor, etc)?I’m not really good at it, I can make sketches with pencils though.

Do you dance? What style of dance?I remember learning to dance classical stuff like waltz and all, but really? If club-dancing is a thing, I’m good at that.

What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in astrology?I’m capricorn. I don’t actually follow the things, never was too interested, but it’s fun to read horoscopes or see stuff that actually turns out to be true.

Favorite old film?A tough one... I love The Shining.

What’s your hairstyle?Ranging between neat medium cut to buzzcut.

What weather is the most beautiful, in your opinion?I love the opposites - both when it’s chilly, you can snuggle up in your favourite sweaters with your fingers wrapped around a cuppa tea as well as hot days when you can sunbathe for hours.

What upsets you most about the world?Humans. Society. We destroy Earth, we destroy each other. There are so many things that are wrong in this world that it’s hard to name them all.

Are you in love right now?I am, yes.

Do you have a crush? If so, talk about them!I remember the first time I realised I actually have a crush on them. They sat across me, smiling, drinking their margarita, with a smile so bright and warm I could catch myself staring almost rudely. Whenever they’d look in my direction I couldn’t help but look away and act as if I wasn’t interested too much, laugh with someone else at our table and just nod and smile to my crush. On that evening I knew I was fucked. Not literally, of course.

Do you have pets? Talk about something sweet about them!I don’t have any pets.

Do you have a lucky number?No, I don’t.

Have you ever wished on a star? What about on a fallen eyelash?Yes and yes.

Do you believe emoji spells to work?What’s an emoji spell?

Do you believe in magic in general?I’m more of a science guy haha.

What’s the most beautiful thing in life, In your opinion?To be able to shape your life as you want it. Life is full of possibilities and you can have all you want - you just have to put work in it. I don’t mean you can force relationships or anything that concerns other people, but reaching one’s goals? Go for it. Create yourself. Be you. That’s beautiful.

Opinion on the color pink? What about baby blue?I do like both colours, actually.

What instrumental sound is your favorite?I do like the sound of guitars... But I can’t choose, sorry.

Do you like the sound of wind? What about the sound of rain?I enjoy both of these.

Who makes you happy?@cowieadam haha.

What makes you happy?To see where my life is going to. Despite all the dark times I’ve gone though, I’m happy with the outcome.

Imagine your ideal life, the life you wish to make, what will that look like?The way that it is now. I wouldn’t change a thing. I don’t want “ideal”, I don’t want “perfect”.

Do you wear makeup? If so what’s your favorite type of makeup or specific makeup product? Favorite store to buy makeup?I do wear it whenever I’m having my photos shot, but I don’t really know what kind of stuff they use - it’s always different.

Do you wear dresses? If so what’s your favorite dress you own?No.

Ever been heartbroken? How do you deal with it?Yes. Usually I take it out in a boxing ring, by travelling somewhere with my camera or crying it out alone.

Who’s your closest friend? What do you love about them?I have a few, actually, I can’t choose one.

Introvert or extrovert?Ambivert.

Do you like MBTI? What’s your MBTI?I’ve never done the test but I definitely should!

Would you be a fairy, a mermaid, a vampire, a siren, a or an angel?Perhaps an angel. Fairies are too small, mermaids... Good take but I’d pass, same with sirens. Vampires are cool but I love sun too much.

What’s the best song a friend has ever introduced to you?I really can’t remember.

Parlez-vous français?Oui, je parle français!

Most beautiful place you’ve been to?Ohhh this is so hard to choose! I did love the alps back in Italy, I loved the Tokyo metropolis, I love my home back in Russia...

Where/when do you truly feel at home?Both Volgograd and London.

Does smiling put you in a better mood? Try it right now, you’re smile is goreous!Yes, smiling helps!

Favorite shoe you own?My white nike sneakers. They’re a little worn out and I have more than one pair that look better than these, but I love wearing them when I travel somewhere to the nature.

Can you walk in stilettos? Do you like them?I don’t.

Do you feel loved?Yes, definitely.

How do you express love to those you care about?It depends on the person and how they decide to accept my love so there’s no answer for that that could be universal.

Favorite term(s) of endearment?Котик/darling/babe.

Most romantic thing someone’s ever done for you?The latest thing that is stuck in my memory - a date to a museum, followed by an evening picnic by the lake and enjoying the boat ride there. I found it lovely...

When is the happiest you’ve ever been?Now.

Are you happy right now?Yes.

What makes you smile?Currently - two kids fighting over a remote ahaha.

Do you laugh a lot?I guess?

What’s your favorite kind of aesthetic?I have few in mind but... Sun tanned skin, red wine, yellow houses, sunflowers, sea, the sound of waves crashing, distant voices, a smile of a beloved one, sunglasses. Something that takes me back to Italy.

Do you want to marry for love or for some other reason (like money)?For love.

What would your dream wedding look like? Do you want to get married?I never thought about it and perhaps it’s something I’ll leave for the future. Eventually though - perhaps if it’s the right person.

Favorite flower?Peonies. They remind me of France.

Favorite artist?Again, I can’t choose one! I’ll go with Warhol.

Favorite music artist?Picking a favourite is hard! I don’t know haha.

How kind do you think you are? Is kindness important to you?I think I’m kind to those that deserve it and show it back. I think it’s very important to show consideration.

Ever made a playlist for someone?I think some years ago, yeah.

Do you have anything you do to physically comfort you when your sad? Such as a favorite blanket? Or a relaxing bath?Again, I do enjoy going to the gym because my mind moves forward from sadness and pushes me forward. I as well enjoy hot relaxing baths or cuddling up on a couch and my favourite cushion.

Early bird or night owl?A bird that doesn’t sleep enough, for sure.

Morning routine?Wake up, shave, wash my face, jump into sneakers and my running outfit, go for a run, come back, set water for coffee to boil, take a shower, get the breakfast.

Night routine?I don’t have anything specific for nights.

What is the most lovely quality a person could have in your opinion?Being able to see past the differences, accepting more than they know.

Do you cry often? Does crying help you get the emotions out? Do you feel better after?I don’t cry too often, at least not anymore.

Do you like hugs?Oh, yes!

When was the last time you kissed someone?This morning.

Are you small or tall?Tall.

Do you like wholesome memes?YES!

Favorite thing about the past?I’ve learned a lot about myself and the world itself. It made me who I am.

Do you ever wonder about the future?Naturally yes.

Have you ever lived in a different country than you currently live in?Yes. France, Russia, Italy.

Do you like plane flights? Airports?I do, something relaxing about them.

Sunrises or sunsets?Both have their own magic.

The beach or a forest?I go to beaches more often but I enjoy the forest.

What time of day do you tend to be in the best mood?Past noon.

Do you push yourself to act together and in a good mood even when you aren’t?Yes, my job taught me that.

Favorite kind of tree?Acacia. Though it’s more of a shrub, but still.

Do you care about the health of the Earth?I try to, yes.

What did you like most about your childhood, if anything?Mom’s cooking...

Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book?I love reading. I always wanted to read Camus’ L’etranger and honestly? I loved it.

What are you most nostalgic for at the moment?For the beautiful memories I spent with the wrong person.

What’s your favorite personality trait you have?I’m determined. No matter what.

List at least ONE thing you love about your appearance.My dimples haha.

When was the last time you truly felt calm, without much of anything to worry about?This night.

Do you worry a lot?I tend to, but I’m working on that.

The dazzling lights of the city or the relaxing countryside?Oh, both. I love both of these experiences...

Ever changed the shoelaces on one of your shoes? For what reason?My ex’s cat stole it so I had to.

Favorite pastry?A hard choice between crème brûlée and medovik.

Do you like doing little acts of kindness?I do, makes others and self smile.

How’s your day/night going?It’s great, I’m a little sore but that’s nothing too bad. ;)

#Asks. #Thanks ;) #cowieadam

[comeloro]

Lips

We are well into the heat of the summer, which seems like an appropriate time to address an area you have probably always been told to pay attention to but weren’t sure why beyond obvious cosmetic reasons: your lips. Our lips have the most delicate skin on our bodies, and it’s important to keep them hydrated all the time and not just in particularly trying, drying times like summer and winter. The skin on our lips is incredibly sensitive and thin, and additionally, it does not produce its own natural oils. This means that it’s essential to be on top of hydrating this area to avoid irritation and dryness year-round, not just in two of the most taxing times of the year. 

The first thing I look at when deciding on a lip balm is the ingredients— the more naturally-derived the better. I know that this a sudden trend in the beauty world, and everywhere you turn there’s no-paraben, “all-natural” claims. Keep in mind when you’re browsing that “all-natural” is a highly misleading term, and it’s safe to assume that no product on shelves is completely composed of natural ingredients. Everything would go bad almost immediately if that were the case! 

And I’ve digressed… so how do you ensure that you are choosing a healthy, safe lip product? First things first, check out the main ingredients. Think about how when you apply a product topically to your lips you are essentially ingesting it, so it’s important to know what’s going into your body. I generally look for something rich in plant-based oils, shea butter, lanolin, and honey. All of these are ultra-hydrating, naturally-occurring ingredients that I’ve found work effectively for me. 

Take a look below at a breakdown of five of my favorite lip products for use in every season and let me know what you’re using or intrigued to try:

Nuxe Rêve de Miel Ultra-Nourishing Lip Balm 

My holy grail, cannot-live-without lip product. I absolutely love this balm, so much so that there’s about five to my name at all times, which includes three stashed in my bathroom, one in my bag, and one by my bed. 

I first came across this product while watching Jeanne Damas’s British Vogue interview where she reviewed her favorite pharmacy products. Intrigued, I then proceeded to research Nuxe as a brand. I was immediately attracted to their values and commitment to sustainable, plant-based beauty and decided to pick up a few balms on my trip to Canada that summer. I haven’t been disappointed since.

The consistency of this product is similar to honey as the name suggests. It feels thick and creamy but somehow applies matte. It’s the only lip balm that is so fixed upon application that I can even add lipstick over it like normal. I don’t experience any sliding or running when I put color over the balm, and when I wear a matte lip, I don’t get those annoying flakes of dry skin. 

The thick nature and nourishing properties of Rêve de Miel primarily come from beeswax, shea butter, and sweet almond oil, which also makes it handy as a lip mask for nighttime. I like to pile it on while I sleep to hydrate my lips overnight. 

10/10 for form and function. 

Burt’s Bees Tinted Lip Balm in the shade “Hibiscus” 

There’s no history with this one. It was your classic “let me pop-in to Target real quick” story, which never actually happens, at least in my reality. Probably not needing anything remotely related to beauty or skincare, I went to the beauty and skincare section anyway. I found this tinted balm and decided to give it a go. 

It’s great for those “I’m not gonna even bother with lipstick today” moods. I apply this almost once a day if I want a quick, effective hydration boost and a little natural-looking pop of color. The top three ingredients in this one are coconut oil, vegetable oil, and beeswax. While I’m not keen on the vegetable oil, I justified it because I appreciate their use of shea butter and lanolin as supporting sources of hydration. You have to pick and choose your battles.

Weleda Skin Food Lip Butter 

The texture of this one is not quite a butter but more like an aqueous gel. I’ve used other Weleda products, and I’m a big fan of the entire Skin Food line. I also admire Weleda’s commitment to using plant-based ingredients and taking care of the environment, so I thought I’d give their newest product a try. 

While it is hydrating, it doesn’t stay on your lips for very long. I use it as a quick burst of moisture, but not when I plan on going awhile without reapplying or before I put on lipstick. I’d say it’s helpful to keep in your bag when you’re in a pinch, but not something I’d re-buy. 

Key ingredients: sunflower seed oil, lanolin, beeswax. 

Bite Beauty Agave Lip Mask in shade “Smashed” 

This is my newest addition to the collection, and I’m obsessed with the sweetness of agave, the thick texture, and the subtle but flattering color. I use this more like a lip gloss rather than a lip mask and can attest that it also looks great over lipstick for extra shine. 

My first impression when I tried this out was “how does it taste so good?” The agave’s sweetness is incredibly palpable but not overpowering, and the olive and castor seed oils give the lips noticeable plumpness. I primarily use this one in situations where I want that noticeable flush of color without sacrificing long-lasting hydration. 

The shade “Smashed” is described as a “sheer candy apple red,” but I find it to be more of a purple-red, berry-like color. It’s a flattering shade regardless, and it noticeably enhances my natural lip color when I wear it alone. I like to layer the lip mask over red and pink-toned lipstick shades and find that it complements them well. 

Flower Beauty Lip Mask in shade "Sangria" 

I love Drew Barrymore. That’s really it, so thanks for reading!

…

I’m joking, of course. While I do really love Drew, I genuinely wanted to support her beauty line and try something functional. I’m not a huge makeup collector, though the rest of her line is beautiful, and knew that realistically I’d probably only get good use out of something like a lip balm. 

I love the tint of the shade “Sangria,” a sheer, glossy violet. It’s not particularly pigmented, but it definitely gives a flattering hint of color and lasts for a decent amount of time. It’s not an absolute must-have, but it works and I do find that my lips stay hydrated for a couple of hours after application. 

Out of all the lip balms I’ve reviewed, this is the only one without predominantly plant-based ingredients, despite Flower Beauty’s claim that this is a coconut and mango butter- derived product. The top three ingredients include polybutene (a thickening agent), petrolatum (like Vaseline), and mineral oil. 

What do you think makes a good lip product and what products am I missing? Send me a note and we can keep the conversation going about all things lip care. 

#lip balm #lips #lip care #lip hydration #lip mask #bite beauty #flower beauty #burt's bees #weleda #nuxe #beauty #skincare #plant based #natural #agave lip mask #drew barrymore

[stars-that-shine-at-night]

If the Shoe Fits Park Jimin x Reader Ballet! Au

A/n: I am back from Japan! Sorry I couldn’t get this up before I left, so I made it part extra long for you guys. As always I hope you enjoy the show 

8

‘Oh my god, oh my god’. You thought as you ran down the side walk. Your pink skirt flying against your knees as you ran. Chaerin was so gonna kill you….

Jimin was peaking out of the side of the stage as Master Geonsik and Madame Hyojeong was introducing the whole production. They were going over general safety rules, and thanking his father and Miju’s mother for helping the dancers throughout rehearsals. They were almost done when Jimin notice the door to the theater’s stage was opening. The loud metal door creaked, leaking the bright daylight into the dark room. Jimin saw your figure running over to your seat. He thought you were cute in the flouncy skirt and curled hair that was being picked up by the drag you were creating while in motion. The pale pink went well with your skin tone, it accentuated it actually, it made you look ethereal like you were actually glowing. Madame Hyojeong smiled when she saw you sit down in the area your family was sitting in. You gave Sehwa a quick hug, she handed a bouquet of flowers, and you took your seat.

“Since we had someone who was late we like to thank her and her family actually. The (l/n) family, a group of elite makers, has always stood by Etre Royale Academy. Without them or the Delladova Ballet Company we wouldn’t be able to have the productions and training's we have.” Madame Hyojeong applauded, who was followed by Master Geonsik, and the audience.

Madame Hyojeong and Master Geonsik left the stage, and the lights in the audience section began to dim as the lights on the stage flickered on. The beginning scene was the christening of princess Aurora, where dancers acted as the royal court celebrating the birth of the kingdom’s first born child. The classical music played by the live orchestra from the pit fills your ears with nostalgia, as you watch the timeless production.

Six fairies were invited to the party to bestow the young princess. The most powerful of those fairies was the Lilac Fairy. Candid the fairy of purity gifts Aurora with the blessing of staying pure and keeping that with her; vitality, given by the fairy Coulante; the Breadcrumb Fairy offers the princess generosity; Canary fairy of eloquence shares the gift of musical talent and a heavenly voice; Violente the fairy of wisdom shares her own gift with Aurora. However, right before the Lilac Fairy can bless the young girl the lights take a turn to darkness, as a crash of thunder echos through out the theater.

Sori arrives as Carabosse with her minions. Sori was seductively haunting, her eyes had a piercing gaze gave shivers down your spine, she sold the idea that she was pure evil well. She was not wearing a tutu, bur her skirt was a long black skirt with black pointe shoes. She had a tube top, a lace up black bodice. Her decollete and shoulders were exposed, she had black sleeves that went half way up her biceps, there were red accents at the top of the sleeve and by the laces of her bodice. Her black hair was extended by extensions where it was half way down her back. Her makeup was dark, but not too dramatic, cheeks contoured sharply, dark eye makeup, and black lip stick. Carabosse was furious that she wasn’t invited to the party, Catallabutte, master-of-ceremonies, is blamed for not inviting Carabosse. Carabosse tears off the wig that is on Catallabutte’s head, and cruelly beats him with her staff. While She is doing that, Carabosse’s minions dance around her. The minions were several male dancers that were dressed as rats. Yoongi and Jungkook swore they wanted to die as they danced in the heavy, hot rat head. Sori dances to the choreography she was given as it translates into the curse Carabosse casts the wicked spell onto Aurora. Sori moves with grace, as if she is floating. Even though Carabosse is the wicked fairy she is still beautiful, but dark. The curse is set on the the princess’s sixteenth birthday she shall prick her finger on the spindle of spinning wheel, and ultimately die.

The whole court and the fairies are frightened at this horrible curse. Jungkook, Yoongi, and the other dancer’s carry Sori off the stage giving Chaerin the chance to preform her solo. Chaerin’s visuals were fit for the Lilac Fairy, kind eyes and smile, Chaerin dances. The Lilac Fairy, cannot completely remove the curse, but she could change it. Instead of dying when she pricks her finger, Aurora shall instead fall into a deep sleep of one hundred years only to be awoken at the lips of true love’s kiss. Aurora’s parents rest easy not that they know Aurora will live, despite the curse.

It was the day of Aurora’s sixteenth birthday, and since her birth all needles and spinning wheels have been forbidden. The scene starts out with the villagers and their garland waltz. You see Hoseok and Chaerin in their subject costumes as they dance together, along with the older kids there were even some little kids dancing with them. The music is light and upbeat. You remembered being one of those kids with Chaerin, the both of you practiced for that scene, and you would admire the older girls in their pointe shoes dancing so beautifully. You wanted to make your way up as you grew older so you could land the main lead, from that young age you were determined to work hard to get to that place on that stage. After the waltz was over princess Aurora emerges for her variation. Miju comes out wearing that pink tutu, she was elegant and energetic as she danced. She had to be, she had to act like a young girl at the age of sixteen Princess Aurora just had this character that made it hard for many ballerinas to portray her, to dance as Aurora required good stamina and the ability to act like the dancing was not tiring.

“Unnie isn’t she pretty?” Sehwa asked. You turned to face her, the cellophane that surrounded the flowers crinkled in you lap.

“Yeah, she’s totally pretty.” You smiled, watching Sehwa’s in awe expression. Sehwa had her eyes trained on Miju, she badly wanted to be like her as a dancer. To wear pointe shoes, to look that beautiful, to wear that dress, the whole nine yards; she wanted it all.

Namjoon, Jin, Yoongi, and Taehyung were all standing in their prince costumes, ready. Namjoon stepped up and grabbed onto Miju’s hand to help her balance on one pointe, he carouselled around her once and let go of her hand; Jin stepped up to Miju while she balanced, and he spun her around once more; Yoongi grabbed onto her hand, the youthful glowy smile still present on her face; it was the final turn around and Taehyung took hold of Miju’s delicate hand, Miju’s abs and legs started to burn from holding the same position, the leg that was supposed to be not on the ground, it had to be held up high in the air.

Right after Miju was done dancing with a boys a dark hooded figure comes baring a gift for Aurora, a bouquet of flowers. Aurora thinks it’s and innocent gifts, so she takes it. Miju preforms another variation the flowers in her hand, and at the end she throws the bouquet as if something stabbed her finger. The king and queen rush to their daughter to see what is wrong. She has been pricked, Aurora waves it off and begins to dance again as if it didn’t really affect her. While she is dancing someone finds a spindle from a spinning wheel hidden within the flowers, but that time Aurora stumbles, swoons, and collapses. Namjoon catches Miju as she “falls”. Right after Aurora loses consciousness the hooded figure reveals themselves as Carabosse. Sori flicks off the black fabric, and shakes out her extra long locks.  Carabosse believes Aurora is dead because she is not aware of her revised curse. After a crowd of people carries Aurora off to bed, Chaerin begins another variation. She is dressed as the Lilac Fairy, she dances as a spell is casted over the whole kingdom, forcing everyone who is in to sleep for a hundred years with their dear princess. Chaerin finished dancing and the curtains closed. It was the end of act one.

“Unnie wasn’t that great?” Sehwa asked, you hummed in response.

“Mm it was. I’m glad you are enjoying it.” You said, cupping her little face. You turned to see Jaewook sitting next to you on the other side.

“Man I miss dancing.” He said out of the blue. You bit your lip and looked down at your lap. You reached over and laced your fingers with your brother’s.

“Me too Jaewook…me too.” You said, shaking his hand side to side, hoping to comfort him. Jaewook was probably toughest dancer you have ever met just like you, he gave it all up to make shoes. The passion he had for dancing still burned brightly inside of him, and having to tame it and starve it until it was a faint spark, pained him greatly. He always says he’s happy with learning how to be a maker, but you knew he wasn’t fully happy. He was forbidden from auditioning for Etre, but when his other friends to danced too and made it into Etre he would spend his free time dancing with them. He had to stop once his friends graduated from Etre, and left for other companies, Jaewook also had to go to school to learn how to make pointe shoes. You knew shoe making was not his calling, it could have been anything else, but shoe making definitely wasn’t it.  

Jimin was playing with the white elastic that was on the slipper you made, he hasn’t felt this nervous in a while and for sure now he knew you were watching, he didn’t want to mess up in front of you. ‘No no no Jimin, you’re not going to mess up, you’ve practiced long hard. You will be fine.’  He thought. It was funny the thought of his dad being in the audience, didn’t scare him as much as the thought of you sitting in the audience. His heart pounded furiously against his chest, he dropped his slippers and held both hands to his chest, he thought his heart was physically hurting.

The curtains were raised and the scene was set as if there was a party in forest. It has been one hundred years since princess Aurora’s whole kingdom has been put to sleep under the Lilac Fairy’s spell. Prince Florimund was out on a hunting party with his companions, in his party was his tutor, friends, duchesses, baronesses, countesses, and marchionesses. Every dancer acted like they were having a jolly good time, dressed in elegant outing dresses and suits.

Jungkook was easy to spot, he was wearing an intricate white suit with a matching hat. He was excellent at acting as well, he walked around the stage with energy and mingling with the people. You also noticed a tall girl, her dress was wearing a dress that was a brighter shade of yellow among the dusty oranges and reds. High cheeks bones, and dark hair styled into an up do, neatly tucked under a hat. She wore a hip cage under her big skirt, that gave her a broad hips, small waist appearance. Every time she took a step her skirt fluttered behind her and her hips swayed elegantly. She was supposed to be the prince’s bossy countess girlfriend.

The girl walked around the stage and was greeted with a kiss on a hand by every male that saw her. Eventually Jimin walked out on to the stage on cue. On top of his blue and gold outfit he was wearing a velvet red coat that went down to his knee caps.

You would be lying if you said his appearance didn’t take your breath away. His hair was slicked back away from his forehead, and the tail of his jacket glided with him. Baby blue was definitely his color, it went with his honey milk skin well, the two colors complimented each other well. You also noticed that the moles that decorated his forehead was also gone, erased by concealer, your lips found themselves in automatic frown. You liked it when you first saw the beauty marks, you thought the small pattern of the triangle they made was cute, it made Jimin a little bit different. His forehead was now a smooth canvas everyone sought out for. Jimin’s white satin shoes perfectly matched his form fitting tights, you were so proud in how well they came out, you had to thank your father for giving you advice.

Jimin greets the girl with a kiss on the top of her hand, and the dancers play a game of blind man’s bluff. Jungkook was ‘it’ and he walked around the stage as if he was blind. The piece of cloth was gauzy enough where he can see where he was going, however. While he “wandered blindly” the other dancers expertly danced around him in sync without bumping into him. He acted like he tried to tag someone, but failed. Until he saw the bright yellow dress, he knew that he had to tag the girl. Jungkoook grabbed the girl by the hips, and according to the rules, she was ‘it’. The countess did not want to be it, she offered the blindfold to the prince and demanded for him to be ‘it’ instead of her. The countess was supposed to have a bossy character that gave prince Florimund a mopey attitude for the party.

Florimund happened to get out of the game, and the dancers began to dance together in a pas de deux. None of the girls went on pointe, but the dance was still elegant, and required some skill to make it look good. Jimin had to act like he wasn’t happy with the girl, but it wasn’t that hard for him, he was unhappy, it wasn’t you and he wasn’t trying to imagine the girl as you. Arms were connected, as gown skirts floated with the rhythm of the music, and fingers were positioned correctly.

When the dance was over every lady and gentlemen bowed to each other in thanks. The prince wanted some alone time, and Jungkook ran to take Jimin’s red jacket as he slid it off. When the jacket was in Jungkook’s arms, he and the other dancers parted away from Jimin, leaving him alone on the vast stage. The lights were dimmed, as Jimin started his solo variation, the mood of the song was changed as he danced alone. He was so beautiful, just like the first time you met him. His beauty wasn’t a constant though, it always improved and you noticed the change each time you saw him at a recital or performance. He was ever changing like water, he breathed life into the people. He spun with perfect balance, and swayed his arms on beat. Jimin glided as his he was weightless, while he was dancing you saw Chaerin entering the stage on both of her pointes. There was a projection of Miju sleeping on the wall, Jimin acted as if he was in love with her, he felt the aroma of vomit bubbling in his throat as he excitedly leaped towards the picture.

Jimin danced his first pas de deux with Miju. In the story it was Florimund dancing with a hallucination of Aurora, the Lilac Fairy created. Jimin imagined your face on Miju’s as the both of them danced. Jimin and Miju weaved through the other dancers. there was a reason why they were the best, and the stage was where they cemented that fact, in the people’s hearts and minds. Jimin was over flowing with passion, he upped his dancing a whole new level. He wasn’t just a mirror of Miju, he held emotion within himself and released it with each movement of his body. Miju trusted him with all of her faith as he lifted her into the air, her long legs stretching into the air. When the pas de deux was over Jimin and Chaerin got on a prop boat, that was set to sail to the hidden kingdom of Auora.

When Jimin and Chaerin get to the sleeping castle, Sori reappears with her rat henchmen, as Carabosse tries to make sure her curse stay permanent. Jimin and Chaerin dance together as they defeat Carabosse once and for all. When Carabosse is finally struck down, the Lilac Fairy banishes her to the mirror that is above the bed of the sleeping beauty.

When the prince enters the sleeping chambers of the sixteen year old girl, there is a large rectangular mirror above the ed. You can see Sori, in her Carabosse costume “trapped inside”, but Jimin pays no attention to her. He walks over to Miju who was “asleep”. He bends down to kiss her, but their lips didn’t meet. Jimin pauses, he knew in his mind he had to kiss her for the performance, but his bones and heart were stopping him.

“What are you doing?!” Miju hissed, it was only loud enough where only Jimin could hear her. Chaerin was looking at the couple curiously, as well as the orchestra. Luckily none of the dancers didn’t need mics, so no one could hear her in the audience.

“Just kiss me already.” Miju’s eyes were still closed, as part of her acting. Jimin’s mind flashed to the dream of you lying next to him, and wishing him well on this performance. He wanted to kiss you then and there. His lips met Miju’s sweetly, and she was “awoken”. Almost every audience member thought the pause was just Jimin acting, “wondering if he was the true love for the princess”, but you could see through him.

“What on earth was going through your mind Park Jimin?” You mumbled to yourself, your heart still stung from the kiss, but why did it? Weren’t you in love with Jaejung, you had more fun with him more than you did with Jimin, he also helped you out, just like when Jimin helped you with the shoes. Why did Jimin make you feel this way, there was no reason why.

‘What do you mean you don’t know who I am (y/n)ah?’ A small voice echoed in the back of your head, but the face was still fuzzy. You waved it away, and continued to watch the show. It was the pas de deux that Mijun was raving about, but you didn’t want to hear anymore. Now you finally got to see it.

Jimin and Miju moved gracefully in the short pas de deux, he already erased the image of Miju from his head, he was now dancing with you. Jimin lifted Miju by the hips and hoisted her up into the graceful, yet romantic Giselle lift. He lowered her, back to the ground where she was close to his chest. Both of their hands met to interlace within each other, and Miju leaned closer lovingly into Jimin’s chest. Florimund got the King’s and Queen’s blessing to marry Aurora, and immediately they were engaged.

The curtain closed for all of the necessary costume changes. The ladies and gentlemen of the castle’s court were dressed in white, gold, and silver. While the crowd was dancing out merged Red Ridding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf, they were guests of the wedding. The pair did finished their dance, making room for another routine. Jungkook came out dressed as Florenstan, with two girls on each side, Florenstan’s sisters. They beautifully did their pas de tois, without mishap. Up behind them was Jimin and Miju, dressed as princess Florine and the bluebird. You were impressed in how fast the makeup artists were able, to get Jimin’s blue makeup on his face, and get him into the delicate outfit. Miju shimmered in the thousands of shades of blue. You thought all of the shades of blue that decorated Jimin from head to toe made him look ethereal, you knew he was wearing the blue satin shoes you made with his blue tights. Jimin did a series of jete minis while beating his legs is mid air. The movements were tiring, and it took up lot’s of energy to hold himself upright, but Jimin made everything look easy. All of the scouts in the audience were very impressed with what he could do at this age, and they could tell he could go further with his talent. Only seventeen, and he was showing promise of being a principal dancer. Miju came spinning on the stage, and she and Jimin met. They did more jete minis, while beating their pointed toes. It was impressive in how in sync their feet were, there was virtually no mistake. Jimin lifted Miju with a minor lift, and when she was back on the ground Miju quickly ran off stage, followed by Jimin who performed a final jete grande. They were met by the back stage members as the rushed to get them ready for their last grand pas de deux.

Hoseok entered the stage dressed as Puss in Boots, with his partner, the White cat. He still wasn’t happy with this whole situation, you could make him feel better by saying no one will know it’s him because of the mask. He also knew people would know because this role was written in the program pamphlet, and this role was going to be added to his repertory. He suffered through the whole pas de deux, and made way for the next dances. After him was a pas de deux of Cinderella and prince charming, with a final pas de quatre pf the Gold, Silver, Sapphire, and Diamond fairies. After those dances, it was enough time for Jimin and Miju to be ready for the grand pas de deux.

Jimin and Miju walked out hand in hand onto the stage, and started to dance. Jimin was wearing his final gold and white costume, the shimmering embroidery twinkled under the spot lights. Jimin and Miju were in sync just like their last dance. They complimented each other, they were able to bring the strength the other one didn’t have. Jimin spun Miju in a fast pace, and added more speed onto her spin. He impressively caught her at the right positioned and lifted her with one arm, laced around her waist. He was able to lower his legs, and Miju as well for a one armed fish dive. Miju kept one leg straight and in the air, as the other bent so her toe could meet the opposite leg’s thigh. Jimin set Miju down and continued to dance. They were only half way through the pas de deux. You sat quietly in your dance, and said the names of the moves mentally just before they did just that. You knew the whole pas de deux and the names to moves; you also knew the certain body mechanics required to achieve the perfect line for each dance move.

"Hold her steady," you mumbled as you watched Jimin spin Miju by her waist.

"Hold her arms, but delicately you don't want to be forceful," as if he heard you, Jimin's hands slid up Miju's bare arms and cupped them gently. He was being as soft as he could with his grip on Miju because he imagined you were in his arms. Like a fine porcelain doll, he did not want to shatter you. Jimin spun Miju once more, he threw her up, and caught her by her thighs. Miju lowered her upper body, as Jimin lowered his lower body.

“Keep your feet planted on the ground, as you lower yourself keep your hips centered, you’ll keep yourself balanced.” Jimin lowered himself and Miju in the fish dive position. He was solid and steady, there was no way he could fall. “There you go Jimin, perfect.” You smiled to yourself as you sat in the shadows. Miju clenched her legs around Jimin’s side and right shoulder blades. She used whatever strength in her abs to hold herself up. Her and Jimin put their arms up in the air as they produced an ear splitting smile. Jimin let Miju down gently without grunting in pain or making a face, who knew who had a camera in the audience that would capture his face.

After Jimin and Miju were done the whole entire cast came out to perform maruzuka, after the maruzuka Florimund and Aurora were married. The Lilac Fairy came to wedding to bless in and Chaerin finished the whole show by doing the splits in front of the “happy married couple”.  The curtain were closed for a moment, but they were opened again after a few moments. All the dancers came out for a grand apothesis. Every dancer came out to take a bow or plie, the audience claped, and erupted into a louder applause when Miju and Jimin walked out together, holding hands. They bowed and waved to the crowd, smiling brightly.

“We did an amazing job Jimin, they love us both.” Miju said behind her closed teeth. She didn’t get a response, Jimin continued to wave with a closed mouth smile. The cast members took one last grand bow and headed out to the theater’s lobby to greet their family members/ friends who came to support them. You got up with the bouquet of mixed flowers in one hand, and Sehwa’s hand in the other. The cellophane crinkled under your grip.

“Unnie what did you think?” Sehwa asked you two exited the theater stage.

“I thought it was really good. Everyone was great at dancing right?”

“Mm, especially Jimin oppa and Chaerin unnie. Her tutu was really pretty.”

“Yeah totally.”

“But I think it would have been better if it was pink though.” Sehwa said, you chuckled at your baby sister’s logic. In the lobby all of the dancers were lined up shoulder to shoulder. Chaerin was standing next to Jimin, with Miju on the other side. They had the three most important roles to the plot, of course they got to stand in the center.

“Chaerin unnie!” Chaerin and Jimin searched for the owner of the small voice, and spotted Sehwa running up to them. Jimin absentmindedly smiled when he was Sehwa running to Chaerin’s legs, she was just too adorable. Chaerin squatted down to Sehwa’s level with open arms. Sehwa ran into Chaerin’s embrace, and Chaerin lifted Sehwa up as she stood back to her full height.

“How was the show Sewhwa-ah?” Chaerin shifted Sehwa to one arm so they could be facing face to face. Jimin also started making eye contact with Sehwa too.

“I really liked it!” Sehwa chirped, “I want to be just like those unnies and oppas on stage.” Sehwa beamed.

“What about me Sehwa how did Jimin oppa do?” Jimin asked, pointing to himself with his index finger. Sehwa giggled and started to play with Jimin’s bangs.

“I think you were a very good prince very brave and handsome.” Jimin gasped with over exaggeration and pinched Sehwa’s cheeks.

“Aigoo thank you Sehwa.” Jimin cooed. Chaerin was very surprised to Jimin express himself like this. ‘Maybe it just (l/n) females that have this effect on him.’ Chaerin snickered to herself.

“Sehwa where is Unnie?” Chaerin, asked changing the subject.

“She’s over there.” Sehwa pointed towards you, without looking up as her concentration was focused on playing with one of the pale purple flowers that were stitched to the collar of her bodice. Jimin looked towards the direction Sehwa was pointing in. Jimin saw you standing there with the flowers close to your chest. He felt as if there was a new breath of life that entered his lungs and stretched them out wide in the best way possible. His heart thudded against his chest, and it reverberated throughout his anatomy. You smiled, but you weren’t smiling towards him, you were smiling at Chaerin, maybe he was a fool for thinking that you were looking at him. At that moment he realized you were matching dresses with Sehwa and found it endearing. Chaerin broke into a wide grin and put down Sehwa.

“(yyyy/nnnn).” Chaerin squealed as she ran to you, she was still in her pointe shoes, but she didn’t care. You opened your arms so you could embrace her. You took a step back when Chaerin ran into, to absorb some of the momentum.

“You came.”

“Of course I came, I would never miss my best friend’s performance. Nothing in this world would stop me from.” You said in between fits of giggles. You pulled the flowers from your side and held them out to Chaerin.

“It’s never a performance without flowers.” You said, shaking the bouquet in your hand. Chaerin smiled as she took the flowers and squeezed you into side hug.

“Alright you two smile.” Your mother said as she held up the camera. You and Chaerin posed as your mom clicked the shutter.

“Me too me too!” Sehwa said. You picked Sehwa up placed her between you and Chaerin. Sehwa looped one arm around your shoulders, and the other around Chaerin’s. Your mom captured to moment with the camera. Jimin smiled at your family and the closeness, maybe that’s what he wished for in his heart. He continued to stare, but Miju tugged on his arm.

“Jimin they want pictures over there.” Miju said, as a bunch a photographers including her mother and his father walked towards them. Miju wrapped both of her arms around Jimin’s one arm and scooted herself closer. Jimin wanted to push her away, but he couldn’t be obvious, so he literally grinned and bore it, He smiled as multiple flashes stung his eyeballs. He felt his eyes starting to water, he drifted away to watching you and your family in your own little joyful world. That was one of the main differences between yours and his worlds. Yours was a close and intimate world that was full of feelings. His was big and vast, and there was no passion, it was all about public face and reputation. It was all his world revolved around.

“Park Jimin please look over here.” A man with a camera yelled out, to get his attention. He turned his head back to the camera and continued to smile. Miju looked at Jimin briefly with concern as to why he looked away. She saw you and your family close by. She didn’t know why or how you happened to always be near by Jimin, but she can tell he was falling deeper for you.

“Hey wait for me and the others in the lobby and then we’ll head out okay?” Chaerin said. You nodded in response and she left to the changing room.

“So what are you guys going to go while I am gone?” You asked your parents.

“We’ll be going down to Busan to see Grandma and Grandpa, with Sehwa.” Your mom said.

“We’ll stop by home to pick up our bags, and leave.” You father added.

“It will just be you tonight, I’ll be with Seunjae tonight. He just came back from New York.” Jaewook said, “but don’t be afraid to call me if you need anything. I’ll come running.” Jaewook smiled and nudged you with his shoulders. Seungjae was like a Chaerin to Jaewook, so you perfectly understood why Jaewook was leaving alone for tonight.

“I’ll try my best not to bug you too much, but I’ll still call if something is wrong.”  You nodded in response and waved your family off. You were alone in the lobby as you waited for your friends.

In the dressing room Miju was scrolling through her notifications when she noticed one specific text notification.

Kang Gyuri: I have the information you want. Call me when you want to know. I suggest you call right after your performance tonight.

“Hey Miju what are you looking at?” Sori asked, Miju quickly shut her phone screen off.

“It’s nothing don’t worry about.” Miju said reassuringly, and she finished changing and cleaning off her makeup. All the other girls were done, but she was still lingering, staring at the black screen of her phone.

“Miju are you coming?” Chaerin said, pulling Miju out of her spaced out state.

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute. Just wait in the lobby for me okay? I have to clean up bit.” Chaerin and Sori nodded as they exited the dressing room. The moment Miju saw their shadows walk away, Miju turned on her phone and dialed in a number.

“This Kang Gyuri, family attorney. How may I help?”

“This Yoo Miju. I called about the information you have on (l/n) (y/n).”

“Ah, miss Yoo. Well I do know tonight miss (l/n) will be alone tonight. No one else but her will be home for tonight. In the morning her older brother will return to the house. And er- about your request on ‘will there be a moment where her house will be empty’....no one will be home from now, and until she gets back from dinner with her friends.”

“Thank you for the information. I will send the payment to you.” Miju hung up and left the room.

“You ready to go?” Yoongi asked groggily as Miju walked out to lobby, the whole group was there. There were seven boys and four girls, including you and Miju.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Miju flicked her long locks and started to walk out of the whole building.

“Last one out and she’s also wants to leave the quickest.” Taehyung mumbled under his breath. Sori giggled a his comment and shoved him, in fear Miju might have heard that. You and your big party went down to the subway to get the barbecue place that was only one stop away. Yoongi, you, Chaerin, Namjoon, Taehyung, and Hoseok all had subway cards. On the other hand, Jungkook, Sori, Jimin, Miju, and Jin didn’t usually take the subway, so they didn’t have cards. They had to buy tickets at the machines. They weren’t that expensive, but they didn’t have the coins to pay for it. The fifty thousand note was too bug to put in the machine, and apparently that’s the only note they carried. You rummaged through your purse and found your coin bag, while the others were looking for coins and smaller notes too. Chaerin helped Jin and Miju, while Taehyung helped Sori select the correct ticket. You counted out the right amount of won for one ticket and handed the coins to Jin. You also gave some coins to Jungkook, and made your way to Jimin. You dug around your purse and slid the coins in one by one, and selected the stop you needed to go. The ticket machine spat out your change and Jimin’s ticket. Jimin grabbed the ticket as you took your money.

“Thanks.” He mumbled.

“Don’t worry about it.” You said. You followed Jimin through the gates. He slipped his ticket in, while you scanned your card behind him. While you were exiting you noticed Jimin forgot to recollect his ticket. He needed it again, to leave the platforms at the other stop. You grabbed it before someone else could take it and tapped his shoulder.

“Aish, how do you forget your ticket? Don’t you know you need it at your destination stop?” You said. Jimin’s hand closed around your fingers and his ticket as he took it from you. His hands were warm in contrast to your icy digits.

“Sorry, I don’t take the subway often. I mostly get chauffeured around or I drive myself.” He said rubbing the back of his head. You forgot his family was filthy rich and didn’t need to take cheap public transit.

“It’s actually okay. At least you got it back before you could lose it.” You smiled sweetly. You and your large party all squeezed onto the packed train car. You were smushed up against Jungkook’s chest as more people continued to pack onto the train. Jimin was close by but a couple of bodies created space between you and him.

“Sorry...” You mumbled to embarrassed by your current position.

“Don’t worry about it.” Jungkook whispered back, as he raised one long arm to hold onto a handle and with his other hand he held your shoulders firmly so you wouldn’t fall from the sudden jerks of the train rails. Jimin felt his hot blood racing in his veins, you weren’t even his or Jungkook’s girlfriend, but the image of you and him being that close enraged him. Jimin kept stewing in his own jealousy and anger; he heard Miju yelping and running into his back. A shift of the mass bodies caused her to tumble into his back.

“Sorry about that.” She apologized. He felt her hand curl and rest against his back.

“It’s fine, the train is packed anyways.” Jimin said, turning his head to look at Miju. Miju felt her heart stop when Jimin made eye contact for him. She embraced their current position and leaned against him for the whole ride. She stayed still and inhaled his natural scent and faint deodorant.

When you were at your stop, you and Jungkook managed to untangled yourselves and exit the train. Everyone managed to make it off the train and exited from the platforms. There was nothing but chatter and laughter as you walked to restaurant. As always you, Chaerin, and Hoseok were glued hip to hip, but you still talked to the other people who were with you. You even complimented Sori on her acting, as you learned she was actually kind and gentle; overall she was just a joy to be around.

You sat down with your friends and started to come out your shell a little more. As you grilled meat and ate side dishes, you learned that Namjoon was actually the god destruction and Jin loved recounting the mystical tales of Namjoon’s feats. You were also pretty convinced that Jin and Yoongi were married, as Jin would cook the meat, feed it to Yoongi, and both parents would nag their children together. Jungkook was also an international play boy, he was shy around most girls, but he could still win them over.

“Noona did you have some kalbi yet?” Jungkook asked. You nodded your head ‘no’ as you put another piece spicy samgyupsal with a small piece of garlic in some lettuce.

“Wanna trade?” Jungkook offered, flaunting his chopsticks that was holding the meat.

“Sure.” You said, holding up your proudly made lettuce wrap. You held onto the precious wrapped meat as Jungkook pulled it away from your fingers with his teeth. Jungkook’s chopsticks were close to your mouth when Jimin reached over, grabbed you by your shoulder, pulled you into his chest, and took the meat for himself with his mouth. Chaerin’s and Hoseok’s eyes turned as big a saucers.

“What the heck hyung?” Jungkook asked.

“Yah, you barely know her. Don’t go around sharing chopsticks with people you don’t know.” Jimin said. “I’ve known you longer than you have known her.” Jimin added.

“It’s not like I’m going to get some dire disease if I shared chopsticks with him.” You shot back, coming to Jungkook’s defense. “Why are you rude to him? What did he ever do to you?”

“If it was anyone else here, but Chaerin or Hoseok, I would have stopped them too.” Jimin said.

“They’re at it again.” Namjoon muttered. Yoongi put his hand to his face.

“Butting heads again.” He sighed.

“You don’t need to put on a dumb ‘protective’ or ’caring act’, whatever you want to call it with me. I don’t need it.” You crossed your arms, but very quickly uncrossed it as you wanted to eat again. When you were almost done eating; you and the others started to count out the won you needed to pay for everything. It was all you could eat, so the meat was all one price per person, and you weren’t going to order any additional side dishes. All the money was placed on the table, and you were ready to pay.

“Ahjumma, we’re ready to pay.” Sori called out.

“In a minute, I’ll come by when I have the chance.” The middle aged woman screamed back, as she rushed around table to table. Sori blew her bangs out of her face when she saw the ahjumma enter back into the kitchen. While you were waiting a group of grown men came up to your table.

“Yah, get up and leave already. You little kids on in our spot.” A greasy looking man sneered. He wore too much hair gel and had too much cologne on, his breath also smelled of cigarettes. You wanted to cough or plug your nose from his pungent smell. He looked like he was trying too hard to be attractive, and his other buddies looked like they were following the same trend as him.

“Hey we were here first. Just wait until we’re done.” Chaerin answered. The men looked at her sweatshirt. She was wearing a pale blue sweat shirt saying “Etre Royale Ballet Academy”, with the academy’s emblem printed largely on the center.

“Why don’t you sit and down and act pretty ballerina girl. So far that seems like the best thing you can do for me here in this restaurant sweetie. If you wanna talk we can take it to a private room.” Chaerin shivered and didn’t say another word, she was too spooked from the man’s previous comment.

“Hey don’t talk to her like that.” Hoseok yelled across the table. He too was wearing a black Etre hoodie.

“Shut it, what are you going to do? You’re just sad skinny boy, that wears tights.” The man chuckled, his buddies started cackle behind him from his insult. Jimin stood up from his chair abruptly, his chair screeching loudly against the tile flooring.

“That’s enough!” He said, venomously. The man shoved Jimin backed into his chair.

“What are you going to do? You’re just another weak ballerina, all of you are. Dancing around in your tights and tutus.” The man and his group cackled again. The longer they laughed, the more your temperature rose. You couldn’t stand sleezy men like this man or his friends. They had nothing better to do, just pick on a group of seventeen year olds. You couldn’t take it anymore; you slammed your closed fists against the wooden table, shutting them up. You slowly rose up from your chair and shot the whole group a dirty glare.

“Oh look, is the puny ballerina going to stand up for her dinky tutu team?” The man said in a mocking baby voice.

“But I’m not a ballet dancer like them.” You spat out, actually spitting on the man’s jacket.

“Aish, just sit back down before I hurt you.” The man raised a flat palm up, everyone who was sitting at your table was afraid you were going to get slapped. But before he could bring his hand to your face, you drove your fist, square into his face. The man fell back from the force of your punch, some of his cronies actually caught him.

“You fucking bitch-” One of the men who was behind the original one came up to you with his fist raised, without thinking you quickly grabbed the wooden chair you were sitting in and swung at him. The chair did no break, but it sent the man toppling into the man you punched, who was being helped up by two other men. They collapsed into a heap of bodies onto the floor, the other remaining men started to come for you, but before you could fight them Jimin grabbed your wrist and punched the closest man to you.

“Run!” Jimin yelled at the other nine who were still sitting in their seats. Everyone took their feet and exited quickly, Jimin ran out while holding you hand.

“Get them!” The man punched yelled out, as he covered his bloody nose.

“I will not let some little girl beat me.” And then he and his friends were chasing you. You and Jimin were running through the crowded streets, pushing through people and ducking in and out of street vendor tents. Jimin turned into a two ended ally way, before one of the men could turn into the same ally way as you; you tore your wrist from Jimin, so you could squat down and grab onto the man’s ankle, tripping him up and face planting into the cement. The other men in front of him stopped at his fallen body, but were trying to figure out if they should help him up, or run around him. Jimin ran back and grabbed your wrist again to resume your escape.

“That was an absolutely crazy move you just pulled there, but super smart. I loved it.” He yelled as you two still ran. Jimin could feel his lungs and legs burning. He was already tired from all of the dancing, you could feel him tiring out fast. You started to pump your legs faster so you could now drag Jimin along, it was harder than you expected it to be, he was still running but a lot of his weight was depending on your speed. While you were running you spotted a play ground and ran towards in. There was a small plastic tunnel for little kids to crawl in. You made Jimin crawl in first, while you watched for your chasers. Thankfully they weren’t too close where you and Jimin could crawl into the tunnel safely, if you didn’t trip that guy in the ally way, there wouldn’t have been no time for you and Jimin to hide. You and Jimin sat in the play ground facing each other. You were both squatting and Jimin’s body was more hunched over so he could fit in the narrow plastic. His legs started to burn, and he wanted to adjust himself. You were watching for the shadows of the men, through the plastic, you saw their figures enter the park and scan through the area. They were about to leave, and as they were almost gone Jimin accidentally banged his head against the top of the tunnel.

“Ow-”

“Sssshhhh-” You quietly shushed, as you covered his mouth with your hand. You held you other finger to your lips, but that hand was in his hair rubbing away the pain. While you rubbing his head, you were still vigilante of the shadowy silhouettes. When the men were gone you took your hand away from Jimin’s lips and breathed out in relief, your other hand still rubbing his head.

“I swear I did not breath in those moments.” You inhaled again.

“Are you okay?” You looked over to Jimin and stared him in the eyes. There you go again, catching Jimin with your eyes again, the dancing colors captivating him. But you too was also getting lost in the warmth of his eyes. You didn’t think that someone who acted as cold as he did, could give a warm feeling in your chest. Your heart fluttered happily, and your hand slowed it’s window wiper motion as you became more distracted.

“I-ahem I’m okay, just a small bump.” Jimin cleared his throat, bring back your attention.

“Oh alright, that’s good.” You immediately took your had away from Jimin’s head and crawled out of the tunnel.

                                                         ~

“Wait where did Jimin and the others go?”” Miju asked. Right now she was hiding behind a a car with Jin, Hoseok, and Chaerin. Everyone else had split up so they could evade that gang of men.

“I saw Jimin run out with (y/n), I hope they’re okay.” Seokjin looked down at the ground.

“Pft they’re fine. (y/n) is pretty smart, and she could out run those fools anyways.” Hoseok scoffed.

“Besides (y/n) has Jimin to protect her, or at least help her.” Chaerin added. Miju knew Chaerin was right, Jimin would have protected you if it came down to it, he did punch that guy who was going to punch you. Miju’s heart split into two, for sure Jimin was in love with you, she couldn’t deny it anymore. He was gone, and it could ruin her, not just her chances into getting into a company, but her own emotions too. She didn’t want anyone else to have Jimin, especially a low shoemaker, all you did was paste canvas together, you had nothing special. You weren’t graceful or elegant like a dancer, you didn’t wear a tutu you wore thimbles and a stained apron. You had to be eliminated, Dahui was right, you needed to disappear. She was going to pluck you and make you wilt.

‘You’re just a pathetic weed aren’t you (l/n) (y/n)? Well I’ll just give you the same treatment as any other garden weed.’ Miju thought. She pulled out her cellphone and texted her family’s chauffeur to pick her up.

“Guys I’m so tired from today’s performance. I’m having my driver pick me up, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Miju said in a delicate and sweet tone. All the others just nodded at her in response. When Miju’s car pulled up she got in the car and waved to Chaerin, Jin, and Hoseok.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. I hope you all rest well~” Miju said, and her car pulled away. When Miju’s car was out of sight, Jin was the first one to stand up and say something.

“Aish, damn brat couldn’t offer us a ride? Aigoo!” He kicked at the ground. “And don’t tell me her car does not have space, that car was like a ten person limo.”

Hoseok and Chaerin could not help but snicker at Jin’s little outburst.

“Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you curse at one of us like that.” Hoseok teased.

“Oh I so do all the time, in my mind though.” Jin smirked, which resulted in Chaerin laughing harder.

“Can you drive me to this address?” Miju asked, sending an address to the chauffeur's phone.

“But miss Yoo, this is a regular house, why do you need to go there?” The young man asked.

“My family pays you to drive me to my desired destination, not ask questions. This is where I desire to go, so drive me there.” Miju spat. The man tilted his hat at Miju with one hand.

“As you wish my lady.” He said, and headed in the direction of your house.

                                                               ~

“So what did you think of the show today?” Jimin asked. You and him were leaning against a rail that fenced off a side of a hill to prevent people from walking on the loose dirt. The hill was high enough where you could look over the twinkling skyline of Seoul and the glittering stars of the night sky.

“It was really good. I thought that no handed fish dive was impressive. You kept your hips centered and steady, that was one of the most important keys for the gentleman to nail that lift.” You said, your eyes twinkled as you talked about ballet.

“I still don’t get it. You would make an excellent dancer, you know everything about the mechanics and theory of ballet. Surely you can put all of that knowledge into a pair of pointe shoes and translate that on the stage.” Jimin said, he wasn’t satisfied with your last answer.

“What happened that made you stop.” You let out a sigh and looked at the ground.

“If you tell me, I’ll tell you why I dance~” Jimin sing songed.

“Isn’t because you’re a Park, and everyone in your family is a dancer?” You answered.

“Is that the reason why you became a maker? Every (l/n) before you was a maker so you just became one too? Do you think you have me figured out (y/n)?” Jimin said, as he still looked out at the city. He was right, you barely knew him and you just assumed a lot.

“No...” You admitted, “you don’t know anything about me, and I don’t know anything about you.” You looked up and sniffed. Jimin turned his head to look at your side profile.

“If I tell you...don’t go blabbing it out to other people. I don’t need more people to try and understand my whole situation.” Jimin gulped and nodded.

“I can’t just have a nod, do you promise me?” This time your voice was weak, but you held out your pinky. Jimin interlaced his pinky with yours. This time both, you and him felt sparks tinkling in your veins. You twisted your hands up so your thumbs could touch.

“Okay, I won’t tell.” Jimin said.

“And I won’t tell what you told me.” You answered, you took a deep breath and started your story.

“My older brother, Jaewook, danced and I wanted to dance too. My mother frowned down upon it, but my grandmother didn’t. My grandmother was a (l/n) too, she married into my father’s family. She too worked behind a bench, she regretted it too, she was trapped in that factory. She encouraged me to continue to dance, and do whatever made me happy. So I continued, it was kind of funny actually. She made me my practice dresses, slippers, and promised that if I was a fit for her pointe shoes she would be my maker.” You smiled at what could have been, and looking at the model pointe shoes your grandmother made for you. They were too big for you ten year old self and they were no guarantee that they would fit in the future, but they gave you hope in what could be in a couple of years.

“Twelve is around the year a young ballerina’s life changes right? She gets her first pointe shoes right?” You asked, Jimin nodded his head up and down.

“Well at that age, that’s where my whole ‘ballerina’ life fell apart, I never got my pointe shoes. Just like Sehwa I went to studio across town, with Chaerin. It’s stupid because I can barely remember anything else, but I remember this certain day clearly. It was in April, I just turned twelve in March. It was a night class, and my grandma would walk from our house to the subway, take the train to the studio, pick me up, and repeat the whole thing. Chaerin’s mom actually offered to call my grandmother to tell her not to pick me up, because she could drive me home. I politely reclined, maybe I was a selfish little girl that wanted to spend more time with her beloved grandma, but as stupid as I was thinking I could spend more time with her I was wrong. That night would be the last night I spent with her. She came to pick me up as always with a kind smile that was constant and we walked home from ballet class as always. We were crossing a cross walk, and the light was green for us to walk. I thought the car came out of no where, but my grandmother knew. There was a drunk driver, and he was speeding. My grandmother enclosed me tight, and took the impact of the car. I only remember her screaming my name, and the street lights fading from sight. Apparently when we were hit we flew into a cement wall. She protected me from the car, but not the wall. My head hit the wall dead center, I split my forehead, fractured my skull, ended up getting stitches. I blacked out instantly, my grandmother also hit her head against the wall. When I woke up, my grandmother was pronounced dead at the scene, and I saw pictures from the incident. I saw the wall....” You took a deep breath, and a tear escaped from your eye. You had Jimin’s full attention, he was listening and he was patient with you.

“There were two blood spots....one bigger than the other. The bigger stain was above the smaller one, and there were stains of how the blood from the bigger stain dripped towards the smaller one. I knew what those stains were, it was my head and my grandmother’s. My mother was so enraged, she lost her mother in law, someone who she worked with everyday and was a second mother to her. From that day she forbade me from dancing, she didn’t want me to leave her sight. She knew I would be safe if she could watch me at a work bench. My mother and father would fight about it in my hospital room, he thought it was unfair how my mom was not giving me a chance to choose. I remember what she said clearly.”

                                                             ~

“I can protect her, within Delladova!” Your mother screamed.

“How are you protecting her, if you are just smothering her in the factory?!” Your father screamed back with equal volume. You mother already broke into tears long ago.

“I’m not going to watch my daughter suffer making shoes like my mother.”

“She was my mother too!” Your mom sobbed out. “I loved her as much as you did. I know my bond with her will never be like yours, but I still care.” Your mom dropped to her knees and sobbed into her hands. Your parents thought you were still on your pain and sleeping meds, but they wore off. You cried silently in your bed, your family was slowly becoming undone, and you wanted to stop it.

“I brought three children into this world, I cannot lose any of them, especially my first daughter.” Your mom was still crying. Your dad’s expression softened, he got on to his knees and hugged your mother.

“Don’t cry jagiya, don’t cry.” He whispered into her hair, “we’ll get through this together Areum, all of us will. Remember we hold together like paste and canvas.” That’s when it struck you, you could hold your family together. You become the paste to all of this.

“Mommy, I want to work in the factory. I want to be a shoemaker just like you and daddy.” Your brightly smiled. At such a young age you already learned how to fake a smile.

“Do you really?” Your father asked, “you want to quit dancing?”

“I promise I will study hard from you and mommy.” You said.

                                                             ~

“And that’s why I quit, I did for the sake of my family, but I didn’t do it for her. You call me a demon or weird, but I saw my grandmother one more time actually. She came to me in a dream, she was sad....I felt like a disappointed her. She wanted me to be different, but I couldn’t. I asked her if she was mad at me for quitting ballet, but she said no. Her last words to me was that she wasn’t mad or disappointed in me, she will be nothing but proud of me. After that she was gone, never to return.” You watched through teary eyes as another tear drop left your eye and splattered against the metal of the railing. Jimin’s ringed hand entered your line of sight as he wiped your cheeks. His thumb ring felt cool against your hot cheeks as he sweeped his thumb back and forth under your eye.

“Don’t cry (y/n).” ‘You might be my new weakness (y/n), especially when you cry.’ You let a choked half sob and chuckle.

“You don’t have to worry about me too much.” You said and wiped your remaining tears with the back of your wrist. You looked up with your pink, tear streaked face, hoping the cool autumn breeze would cool the sting of the salty tears on your face.

“Tell me why you dance, if it isn’t for the Park name.” You said.

“Well it’s not as tragic as yours, but it still left scars. Do you remember my brother? I mentioned him once, Jihyun.” You nodded at the memory of Jimin talking about his little brother.

“Well I love him to bits, just like you do for Sehwa. And just like you and Sehwa, I try to encourage him to do his best in ballet. He doesn’t need to be better than anyone, the only person I want him to be better than is himself. I only wanted him to have fun. But my mother is still my mother however, she doesn’t share the same views as me. She even wanted Jihyun to be better than me, I don’t know why, maybe it’s because of the extra love she has for her younger son.” Jimin shrugged, now it was your turn to give him your undivided attention.

“The pressure was a lot for him. My mom made him practice longer with her in private, and sometimes she was too insensitive to his feelings. I would like to say the things she said weren’t that bad, but I would be lying to myself if I said they were. The insults were horrible and I could hear her screeching at him from another room.” Tears were now falling from Jimin’s eyes.

“He was so young.” He whispered, “now he’s fifteen. Can you imagine how young he was back then? He broke under the pressure and quit. Like you, I remember vividly what he said.”

                                                             ~

“Get back here Park Jihyun, practice is not over. It is over when I say so!” Park  Jueun screeched on the top of her lungs. Jihyun was in tears, and he started to run through the vast halls of the mansion the Park’s lived in. Jihyun kept running until he bumped into his older brother’s still developing chest.

“Hyuniie, what’s wrong why are you crying?” Jimin asked, concerned for his little brother.

“I can’t do this anymore Hyung. I quit! I’m never dancing ballet anymore.” Jihyun hiccuped.

“Wha-what? Whoa there Jihyun, let’s not jump to conclusions.” Jimin grabbed Jihyun by the shoulders and tried to make eye contact through Jihyun’s black bangs. “Let’s think this through, like we alw-” Jihyun yanked himself away from Jimin’s grip and shoved him away from him.

“No! I can’t do this anymore, the insults, the extra practices. I’m not you Jimin, and I’ll never be! I should quit while I am ahead. I just want to rest hyung, go to bed early for once, and hang out with friends not the barre. I don’t want to be you, you are Jimin and I am Jihyun. There is a difference, it’s time to realize that. I’m quitting because of you and mom.” Jihyun’s words hurt too much to Jimin, more than any other physical pain he has ever felt.

                                                          ~  

“I continue to dance, because apparently I am good at it. I want to get into a foreign company, or somewhere where I can make money quickly so I can get Jihyun out of that house. Even today my mom is still trying to get him to go back to dancing. You might think this is bad, but I hate my mom for what she has done to Jihyun, no mother should insult her child like that, she also accept what he is good at and what he is not good at. Maybe while I work my way up I want to prove no one else an be better than me, so she can give up this foolish idea of Jihun being better for me. I don’t dance because of the name Park, I dance for the name Jihyun.” Jimin bit his lips and then started to sob. You were surprised to see Jimin break down like this in front of you, especially you. As you remember he started out cursing you and insulting you. You started to rub his back slowly, not saying anything.

“It still hurts...” Jimin sniffed.

“I know, I know how you feel. It’s like the wound is still fresh, but it happened so long ago.” You finally said something in a long time.

“You pretend like it’s okay too?” Jimin asked looking into your eyes.

“When is it ever okay?” You breathed out, “keeping face is so stupid, I wonder if I’ll ever be okay.”

“So I guess we’re kind of the same.” Jimin said, breaking eye contact to look at the lit up buildings

“Yup, aren’t we just a bunch of sad sacks, parading around and pretending like we’re okay.” You said popping the ‘p’. You looked down at your feet and started to kick your shoe against the side walk.

“Actually...” Jimin started. You turned your head to look at him over the Seoul city skyline. “I maybe pretending around everyone else, but when I am with you, I actually am okay.”

                                                             ~

“... but when I am with you, I actually am okay... but when I am with you, I actually am okay.”  Jimin’s last sentence was echoing through your mind as you walked back home. Your head was full of him, the way he looked, they way the skin of his lips would stick slightly together as he parted his lips to speak, they way dance. Everything that made up the being of Park Jimin was in your mind.

“We’ve had a long night haven’t we (y/n)?” Jimin kindly smiled at you.

“Go home and rest well okay?” Jimin pulled off his jacket and wrapped it around you for warmth. “It’s cold tonight isn’t? Well, I’ll be first one going, see you later.” Jimin smiled once more and walked off into the night. When you finally snapped out of it you started to walk back home.

You pushed your key into the lock of your door and turned it to unlock it. When you opened the door you saw that your whole house was a mess. Every picture was knocked off the wall, and the glass of the picture frames were cracked and broken. Condiments and food from the refrigerator were taken and splashed against the wall. Your couch was flipped over and the TV was face down, all the wires were scattered across the door. Your kitchen was a mess too, silver ware and food was smeared on the floor. Broken glass lined the hall way and what looked like crayon was scribbled all over the walls. You heard more shattering and rustling from yours and Sehwa’s room.

You opened the room to find the contents of your desk all over the floor, your clothes and Sehwa’s in tatters on the floor. Your mattress was flipped and was leaning against the wall. There was also broken glass from the picture frames you kept in your room.

“Well well look what the breeze brought in...a pesky, lone, dandelion seed.” You recognized the voice, the female laughed wickedly. Her voice was laced with pure evil. “ Welcome home (l/n) (y/n), like my house warming party I threw for you?”

#bts scenarios #bts #bts series #park jimin #park jimin scenarios #park jimin au #bts fanfction #park jimin x reader #bts x reader #park jimin fanfic

[demondeanismybaby]

When Another Man Looks

Pairing: Dean x reader, Ketch, Sam

Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex, semi-public sex, sex in a bathroom, jealousy, fake flirting with Ketch on reader’s part, slight angst 

Summary: You are working on a case with Ketch to try and take down a vampire, but one change in the outfit you would normally rock on a hunt has thing deteriorating quickly between you and your boyfriend Dean. 

Word Count: 5153

A/N: This was written for an anon who requested  Hi! If you are taking requests could I request a dean x reader? Perhaps where they are dating and then when they are working with the BMoL either Mick or Ketch keeps flirting with her and dean gets really defensive and a bit possessive of her, maybe ending in smut? Thanks! So this is what I came up with. Also a special shout out to @roxy-davenport who helped to beta the beginning part of this fic and stopped me from scrapping it, so thank you so much! 

Pushing down the lump that was forming in your throat, you tried to ignore the way Ketch’s eyes kept shifting to your body, he had suggested you wear something more revealing in an attempt at getting the vampire's attention, essentially, wanting to use you as bait. It was something so stereotypical male, it made you want to puke, the whole idea that as a girl the only thing you were good for was standing around looking pretty and vulnerable. The blood coursing through your veins had started boiling at the casual suggestion, but working with these new Men of Letters meant that you had to make sacrifices. Since the Winchester’s were on board with these new guys, despite some reluctance, you were too.

“Fine, I’ll go get changed,” you growled, trying your best not to stomp too loudly as you made your way to the bedroom.

You could see why the boys were torn about working with these guys, clearly, they were working on a different level than the average hunter you had come across, but the boundaries were blurrier too. When they had told you about how Mick had killed the girl who had been bitten by a werewolf before she even managed to attack anyone, you had felt disgusted. Then again, you saw the tools that they had, and there was no denying that their ability to spot these groups of vampires and quickly take them out was going to help a lot more people in the long run.

“Hey babe, you coming?” Dean was calling at you from the other room and it forced you to quickly start accessing your new look.

You stood in front of the full-length mirror, turning back and forth slightly to see just how tight the denim mini skirt was, it hung low on your hips, showing off a sliver of skin right around your navel. Doing the old school measure of the length, you put your hands at your side, your fingertips dangling well past the hem, and you gulped. It wasn’t your normal outfit, you started to blush slightly thinking about what Dean was going to say when he saw you in the slinky metallic gray halter top, cleavage on display with a peekaboo of your best black lace bra showing at the neckline. Your hair was actually styled instead of slung up in a quick ponytail, and for the first time in weeks, you were wearing makeup, even eyeshadow.

You kept your head up as you walked your way over to the large lit up table. Normally you loved to trace your fingers over the map overlaid onto it but now you felt a creeping dread as it gave a strange glow to the men that were all seated around it looking overly serious. Making sure to not give away any indication of how strange you felt, you even added in a seductive sway of your hips with each step you took. It hardly countered the fact that you were basically dragging yourself in front of them.

This wasn’t a normal hunt, that was part of the reason for your trepidation. There was something sinister about the way that everyone kept glancing at your temporary new look, and the numbness creeping into your pinky toe from the height of your heels. You knew how important it was that this cluster of bloodsuckers was taken out, but typically you were the one with the machete ready to made heads fly, not the girl that hangs out in a darkened back alley waiting to get bitten. You knew that the Winchester boys would keep you safe, that they would make sure that nothing happened to you, but there was something about the way that the man dressed in all black with the British accent kept eyeing you that made you think he would have bitten you himself if he got half the chance,

A low whistle had you turning your focus to your boyfriend, but the older Winchester looked stone-faced and wasn’t looking back at you, instead, his eyes were narrowed to where Ketch was sitting almost panting at the sight of you.

“The trap has been set,” Ketch said standing up as you made your way to sit among the group of them.

The seat next to Dean was ceremoniously saved for you, and you quickly wrapped your fingers around his. The tips of his fingers pressed hard into the back of your hand, the harshness of his hold wasn’t directed at you, it was a reflex, a reflection of his anger towards the plan that had been laid out. You pressed a quick peck of your lips against the stubble that dotted his jaw, trying your best to get him to relax.

“I still don’t like this idea,” Dean's eyes were narrowed at the stranger in your midst. He already had trust issues when it came to the British Men of Letters, but now with the strange atmosphere between you and Ketch, his expression was shifting to something downright murderous.

“Dean,” Sam said his brother's name, “Y/N’s got this, and we are going to have eyes on her the whole time.”

It was a classic move by the younger brother, he was known around the bunker, the one who was constantly trying to smooth things over with these British dicks, but even Sam couldn’t erase the way that Ketch kept giving you bedroom eyes.

“Alright,” you said trying to get everyone to focus, you weren’t ready to get turned into a creature of the night because of some petty bickering, “let’s go over this again.”

Your mouth puckered as you sipped the stale coffee, it was a reminder of just how long you had spent going over everything. Ketch was thorough that much you could give him credit for, he thought so much about every potential outcome of the hunt that you were no longer feeling nervous about your position. In fact, you were starting to relax a little more in general.

Dean, however, he was still looking put out, he pounded down the contents of the tumbler containing some watered down whiskey, and you took a heavy breath thinking that it wasn’t going to be the monsters that turned this into a long and miserable night.

Ketch glanced down at the expensive looking timepiece around his wrist, “it’s time to go.”

“See you, boys, soon,” you gave Dean a tight kiss, ignoring the way his jaw clenched underneath the press of your lips and noticing the way it left a light red imprint against his skin when you pulled away.

Dean normally loved driving baby in the middle of the night, something about the empty roads and ability to really let her open up always made him smile, but tonight as his hands gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles were popping out white he noticed how when you weren’t sitting shotgun it didn’t have quite the same effect. It was strange to him just how attached he had become to being with you, he had always been the kind of guy that wanted to hit it and quit it, not getting emotionally tied up to people was just part of life hunting.

He wasn’t really jealous, at least that is what he told himself, it was just the way that Ketch kept talking about you that was starting to get in his head. The minute that it had been suggested that you were used for bait he had flashed back to that brief period of time when he had been turned and how used he had felt by Sam, and even knowing that he could cure you if worse came to worse, didn’t stop the pit that was building in his stomach. He wanted to be the person that you trusted and this felt like some type of betrayal.

“Sammy, turn it up,” he needed the music playing on the radio to drown out the heaviness of his thoughts.

“Sure thing,” and Sam’s fingers immediately cranked up the little dial the guitar rift quickly blocked out the rumbling of the engine along the vacant highway.

It couldn’t blot out the image that played out earlier in the evening, the way he had seen Ketch’s hungry expression as the strange man took in your skimpy outfit, his dark eyes had been latched onto the edge of the short skirt you were wearing. Dean started to drum his fingers restlessly against the steering wheel. Every time you had left the room the man had made snide comments about your attire and body, making sure to be within earshot of your boyfriend, who for the sake of the mission fought tirelessly to remain calm.

“The thing is the leader will never see it coming, that sweet little thing,” Dean cracked his knuckles at Ketch’s words, “will be all the surprise we need.”

“She isn’t just some piece of ass,” Dean ground out, “she knows more about hunting these things than anyone I know.”

He wasn’t just trying to defend his girlfriend, it was an absolute fact, that was how the two of you had met all those years ago and he had been stunned at the way you took down a vamp so gracefully it looked like a dance more than a bloody battle. You had a confidence that drew him immediately, and a type of strength and self-assurance that Dean had always lacked. He was drawn to this life because of a twisted sense of duty and responsibility but you had the drive to help people and do the right thing that made him envious.

“Are we getting close,” his nerves were starting to show to his little brother, who didn’t seem so little to him in the moment, Sam was clearly picking up on the dark vibes being thrown around the tiny enclosed space of the impala.

The younger Winchester looked down at the piece of paper that was clutched in his fist, slightly crumpled around the edge from the strength of his grip, “only about ten more minutes,” he said.

“We’ll be there in five,” and with that Dean pressed his foot a little harder on the accelerator ready to have this whole night over with and to have you casually wrapped in his arms again.

Pulling up in front of the run down dive bar, his eyes scanned the street for the shape of the ever increasingly familiar rental car that meant Ketch was around, but he didn’t see it anywhere. His heart thudded painfully, the plan had seemed so precise. He to fling open the door and immediately go looking for you but he also knew it could be dangerous to blow your cover if you were already in place, so he tried to adjust his eyes to the darkness that permeated the ally that was partially visible beside the neon-lit drinking establishment.

There were some shadowy figures huddled next to a large green industrial sized dumpster and he squinted as he tried to verify that one of them was his girl. One of the shapes moved a few steps to the front of the building and the lone streetlight illuminated the edge of their face, the glow of skin and the faint edge of lace, had him sighing out a breath. You were there.

There was another problem that immediately had him back on edge, when the other person shifted to match your new position he realized with a sinking dread that it wasn’t the vampire from the pictures he had studied earlier back at the bunker, rather it was the infuriating face of none other than that British douchebag.

“I’m going to kill that asshole,” Dean started out of the car but Sam was quicker.

His hand was on his brother’s arm in a flash, the practice move of having to restrain Dean a hundred times before tonight, “dude, if you do this now you could get her killed, we have no idea what’s going on.”

“I don’t care, Sam! We had a plan, why have a plan if you aren’t going to follow it?” He was furious with everyone.

Sam was so busy trying to team up with these jerks he couldn’t see that they didn’t care about hunters at all, you were nothing more to them then some pawn, a willing sacrifice. Your safety wasn’t a priority to them because all they had to care about was the outcome of their precious mission. Then there was the fact that you were offering to go along with this plan at all, Dean knew you, he knew that you would never play the bait in any other situation. You were always the one to be on defense, a punch or kick at the ready. Not just standing around waiting for someone to do the damage for you. Lastly, there was Ketch himself, and he hated himself for admitting it but he could tell from the way the man looked at you when you first walked up to the table hours ago that Dean knew he was thinking about getting you alone. This had definitely been the real plan all along.

Kicking your heel restlessly, you coughed a little as the dust from the gravel flew up around your face, you were worried. Things had started going wrong from the minute you had gotten into the car to drive down here and now they were spiraling out of control.

As the car had slowed to a crawl in front of the little bar, you had taken in that for some run down joint on the edge of some shitty down it was unnaturally crowded, even more so for 1 am on a Wednesday. Instead of parking on the street in front of the place you had decided to pull around back and park the large, out of place looking vehicle, to try and draw less attention to yourselves, you figured the boys would understand when they got here.

Ketch had taken a phone call on his little Bluetooth less than a minute after you had started your journey, and he had been vaguely mumbling things that had an ever increasing worry growing inside you, and when he finally hung up he didn’t discuss the call with you.

He had stepped out of the car before you even realized what was happening and you hurried to follow him, he was supposed to wait for the boys to show up and here he was striding right into the place. You knew now, that it had to do with whatever he had found out on the drive so you got into step beside him. It felt like a million laser beams were focused solely on you, as he threw open the small side entrance door, and you stepped into the dimly lit watering hole. It was deadly quiet as people hushed their conversations to stare at you and your partner. He walked right up the bar and ordered a Whiskey on the rocks.

“So what are we going to do now,” you did your best to move closer to Ketch so no one would be able to overhear what the two of you were discussing.

“Well, my intel has said that the vampire was tipped off that hunters were going to be here tonight, however,” he was almost brushing his lips against the side of your face as he spoke, “it doesn’t seem like they know that you were going to be here, so I say we just have to make a few last minute adjustments.”

“Like,” you tried to keep the desperation you felt at hurrying this along out of you voice.

“Come with me,” the ice cubes clinked in the bottom of his glass and he made quick work of the drink he had ordered.

The alley had been exactly what you had expected from the pictures that you had seen of the place earlier. Vacant and everything that sat heaped in it was covered with a scrim of dust. It was dirty and smelled like cigarette smoke and the faintest trace of rotting meat was wafting out of the nearby dumpster. The nearby street light only illuminated the mouth of the alley and so you walked out of the light into the shadows that crept up from the back of the bar. Carefully you made sure not to let your body lean against any available surface, trying your best not to let the filth creep onto you.

Patiently as you could manage, you listened as Ketch told you about the adjustments he figured that you would need to make to the aforementioned plan. It figured, you thought sulkily coughing on the dust you kicked up, that the one time you would decide to dress like this, not only would you not get to spend the evening with your boyfriend but you would have to play fake relationship with a man who he clearly hated. You understood why Ketch thought it would work, the vampire was obviously going to guess that whoever the hunter was would try and get him solo, by the two of you pretending to be involved, it might lure him into thinking you were just two random bar patrons who were looking for a good time.

“Fine,” you huffed, “but I swear if you make this a huge thing in front of Dean after tonight I will break your legs.” You weren’t kidding.

He wrapped his arm around your waist and you walked back into the bar, ready to put on a show.

Dean’s jaw clenched, and he didn’t doubt his brother could hear the way he was grinding his teeth together but he didn’t care. As he watched the slimy man snake an arm around his girlfriend's bare waist he was barely able to breathe from the effort of trying to restrain himself. There was something about the way his fingers had briefly twitched against the delicate skin there that had Dean feeling like he was witnessing something more intimate than the simple motion should have been. He didn’t know what was going on but the scene that was playing out in front of him was beyond what he could have ever imagined happening tonight. He couldn’t see the expression on your face as the two of you walked inside, but he could imagine that you might be smiling or throwing your head back with a laugh the way you would have done with him.

He was far past caring how the hunt played out at this point, clearly, things were already going off course and he was done following this idiots lead. Flinging open the door to the impala, this time he was ready for Sam trying to stop him, so he easily shook his arm out of his brother’s grasp.

Turning around he called back, “I’m getting her, now.”

He left no room for an argument about the situation. He strode over to the door, ready to bust right through the front entrance and it recalled to his mind the image of a cowboy in an old spaghetti western throwing open saloon doors to get the girl of his dreams all while battling the notorious town villain. However, as he pulled open, the very real, glass door a thought came over him will a force so strong it almost knocked the air out of him. Ketch wasn’t the real villain, there was a vamp here and by him doing this it was undoubtedly going to catch everyone off guard, including you.

A brief moment of hesitation allowed him a chance to scan the bar quickly, he was trying to pinpoint exactly where you were and thought maybe by seeing you getting down to business with the vamp it would alleviate this craziness swirling inside him. Instead, he spotted you at a table with Ketch, your hands entwined on its surface and his eyes dark and lustful where they were locked onto your face. It could have been a scene that you were making up for the hunt but he noticed the way your face was slightly flushed and it suddenly looked too convincing.

Not able to see anything past the two of your faces he easily parted through the crowd, pushing past bodies that were meandering here and there, not giving a moment of pause for any of the people he elbowed out of his way.

Grabbing your arm he made sure to keep the touch light, barely a whisper against your skin, even in the moment of anger he would never hurt you.

“Time to go,” he said not caring about your startled expression.

“What are you doing,” you said to him, your voice was nothing more than an angry hiss.

He watched for a second as you leaned over and whispered something to Ketch keeping his hand wrapped around your upper arm. When you stood he guided you through the ever encroaching crowd to the only place he could think to get some privacy. He pushed you through the dingy white door and was glad at least the bathroom looked like it might be the cleanest thing in the whole place.

Then you both just stared at each other.

You were the one to break the silent stare down. It was crazy to you, Dean was known for making rash decisions during hunts but this was outrageous. You saw something in his face that was making you even more upset than his brash choice to basically blow your cover, it was that behind the anger that was obvious in the contours of his face there was something that resembled sadness.

“What were you thinking coming in here like that?” You made sure not to yell the words, still trying to be careful just in case the vamp hadn’t figured out what was going on, even if you were pretty sure that was unlikely.

“What was I thinking,” you watched him rake a hand through his hair, “what were you doing with Ketch?”

You couldn’t stop your eye roll but you forced yourself to go grab his restless hand and tried to get him to focus on being here in this moment with you, “babe, the vamp knew we were coming, he was just trying to help us blend in.”

“You couldn’t think of something other than flirting with him?”

You racked your brain, you could see why it bothered him but you were so worried about catching the bad guy you had just assumed that Dean would understand. You shifted on your aching feet, feeling guilty and you wanted nothing more than to go back before this crappy night and do everything differently. However, undoing fake flirting with the other Man of Letter’s wasn’t an option, you figured the only thing you could show him was who you really wanted to flirt with. That there was no one else you would rather be stuck in a tiny enclosed space with and there was some small part of you that was finding all of this kind of hot. Catching a glimpse of how the two of you both looked together standing there, your cleavage jutting out over your top and his fingers wrapped up with yours, face stern gave you an idea.

You pressed a kiss against the line of his neck, feeling the way his stubble scraped against your lips. You felt his hand relax a little in yours. It was possible the mixture of jealousy and seeing you dressed like this in a seedy bathroom was also sort of hot to him. So capitalizing on the fact that he was enjoying the way you were mouthing against his pulse you continued, tasting his skin as you moved down to the collar of his t-shirt. There was something about the faint salty tang of him on your tongue that had you desperately wanting him to touch you.

“I’m sorry babe,” you kissed him tracing your fingertips over the hard plane of his stomach, “please forgive me?”

You giggled nervously at the growl he let out as he lifted you up slightly, placing your ass up on the hard edge of the sink that was jutting out from the wall. You spread your knees to him, exposing the black lacy thong that matched the bra you were wearing. Glad in this moment you had taken the time earlier to match something that you had at the time felt certain that no one was going to see tonight but you. You shivered at the way his fingers brushed over the thin fabric that was covering you. It was such a light pressure, it had you crying out slightly with how much you were craving more.

At your little noises, he removed his hand, it was obvious that he was still angry about what had happened earlier and this was your punishment. Normally, he would cave to any desire you had because he knew exactly what each sound you made meant and reacted instantly. This was a forced slowness that was designed to show you exactly who you belonged to.

“Now,” he said grabbing your chin and tipping it upwards so your eyes met, “how are we going to make this right?”

You smirked, you had several ideas, but you also wanted to see how things might play out if Dean were in charge of doling out the punishment.

“I dunno,” you said tipping your head to the side in mock confusion, “maybe I should go talk to Ketch again see what he thinks.” You added in a playful wink making it obvious that the suggestion was supposed to get him angry.

He glowered at you, “don’t you dare.”

He began nipping at your neck, biting little bruises into your skin. With every scrape of his teeth along the delicate skin of your collarbone, your body was tightening with desire. You felt a heat creeping along your skin starting at your cheeks and spreading downwards to your soaked pussy. As he finally pulled down the edge of your flimsy top and pushed past your bra to suck one of your peaked nipples into his mouth you moaned out loud. Not caring for even a heartbeat if anyone could hear you, lost in the sensation.

“Quiet, we’re supposed to be hunting monsters remember?” He said.

Stifling your laughter, you nodded as seriously as you could muster, mainly it seemed ridiculous that out in that bar somewhere was the vamp that you should have been beheading instead, you were rubbing your boyfriend's rock hard cock through his jeans and panting as his fingers traced their way along your exposed stomach. Your ass was aching from the hard line of the sink cutting into you, so you pulled Dean closer, wrapping your legs around his waist and putting your arms around his neck.

“Lift, please,” you breathed against his ear.

Only a second later you were being held up, bodies pressed together, and strong hands firm under the cheeks of your ass. You were slightly disappointed with the amount of clothing you both had on. His cock was straining inside his jeans, the hard length pressing against your covered core. Fumbling your hands the best you could, knowing that Dean was strong enough he could easily protect you from falling, you unbuttoned his pants. An excitement washed over you as you felt his leaking tip brush across your palm, and even at the strange angle, you managed to stroke him until he was breathing hard and ragged against the side of your face. It was so much better feeling his skin on your own.

“I want to be in you so bad right now,” he said and from the way, his pupils were huge and dark covering most of the usual green of his eyes you knew he wasn’t lying.

Pulling your panties to the side, you held the little bit of elastic out of the way so that you could position him at your entrance. It was a tricky maneuver but you sighed out a deep breath as he hit the mark and sank inside of you. You locked one of your hands behind his neck to help and settle on the pace you both needed. He was sweating slightly against you from the effort of lifting your body and bouncing your hips.

There was a harshness to the sound of your bodies slapping together and your rough breathing as it echoed off the ceramic tiles on the walls around you. You were quicker than usual to reach your climax, noting that something about Dean’s possessive way he was clinging to your frame here now and the way he had wrapped his fingers around your arm earlier and drug you away had you ready for the moment for far too long. You clenched around him as you came, and moments later he spilled inside of you.

After cleaning yourselves off the best you could, you stood in the mirror straightening out your outfit and trying your best to fix the sweaty mess your hair had become, trying to make it at least look like you didn’t just have a quicky in the bathroom.

“Are you ready to get this done now?” You smiled at Dean, unable to feel mad at all that the plan had been totally derailed after the body rocking fun you just had.

“Yep,” he smiled back at you, and you knew he was thinking the exact same thing.

Pushing open the door you ran smack into Ketch’s chest, he was smirking down at you, “where did you get off to?”

“Just had to sort something out, but we are good to go.”

“No we're not,” his face fell slightly as Dean slipped his hands around your waist from behind, “Sam took care of the vampire while the two of you were, uh...occupied.”

You didn’t think it could have been possible for Dean’s grin to widen any further, but he looked immensely pleased with how the tide was shifting. Releasing you, he clapped a rough hand against the other man’s shoulder, it would have seemed friendly if not for the fact he did it so hard he was jostled forward sharply.

“Well, then I guess it's time for me and my girl to get home for the night,” Dean said.

“Don’t you think we should brief the two of you?”

You were quick this time to step to the defense of your relationship, not wanting any more question as to whose side you were on, “let me see if I have this straight, Sam killed vampire, vampire is dead, problem eradicated,” you crumpled your face in faux concentration, “nope, I think we’ve got it.”

Dean chuckled as he lead you casually out the bar and back to baby, both of you were ready for the drive home, right where you belonged.

#dean x reader #dean x you #spn #spn smut #spn fanfiction #dean winchester #arthur ketch #spn reader insert #anon request #my writing

[13flowersandfoxes]

all the backyard flower garden AND sweet n soft questions

sweet- what’s your favorite type of candyGhirardellis dark chocolate and sea salt and caramel


smooth- do you like classical musicSometimes. I especially like film scores for my fave movies.


baby- do you want to be a parent Maybe


courage- are you a strong athlete Used to be. Not really now.


lovely- what’s the adjective you use when people ask “how are you”Good
cutie- what’s your favorite orange thing? I don’t love orange. Maybe some flowers.


skin- do you want any tattoosI’ve considered getting a Jasmine flower as a memoriam for my old dog Jasmine.


pictures- is art important to you in any wayI love the history and looking at it wanted it around me but I’m no good at it or anything.


stars- use one word to describe space Big


religion- do you practice religion - what religion if soMormon


one- are you a competitive personVery
makeup- what is your most heavily used makeup product Lipstick or eyeliner


sheets- how many blankets do you sleep with 1 big one


chalk- what subject are you best at in schoolHistory


blush- are you easily embarrassed Typically


water- when was the last time you cried Not sure


karma- do you believe in luckNot particularly?


lips- what is your favorite thing to taste I dunno. Spicy or chocolate generally.


cupcake- cookies, pie, ice cream or cakeBrownies. Or brownies in ice cream.


music- list your 3 favorite bands or artists ParamoreKate NashFall out boy


night- how many hours of sleep do you get10-12. I need lots to function.


smile- how was your day todayDull but okay.

Ageratum: Are you friendly or wary of strangers?Friendly but I’m careful.

American Marigold: Is there anything you will not/cannot eat?Cucumbers and bacon.

Black-Eyed Susan: Have you ever given/received a black eye? Why?Nope.

Bleeding-heart: Do you open up freely with their emotions, or do you bottle it up until you burst? If you do hold it in, what is usually your breaking point?It depends. But most people I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve at least lately.

Butterfly-Weed: What is one thing that always makes you stop and admire, no matter what you were doing prior?Animals, certain flowers. But always animals.

Common Yarrow: Do you easily blend in with the crowd, or do you wear/act so that you are noticeable and stand out?Lol I tend to stand out with my clothes and make up.

Cornflower: Is there a color you don’t particularly care to wear? Is it because it clashes with your style, appearance, or any other reason outside of simple dislike for said color?I don’t love wearing red most of the time just cause it doesn’t look good on me. I generally don’t wear yellow or orange cause I don’t like them. I don’t like pink much either but it tends to be on purple stuff so I go with it.

Creeping Zinnia: Do you listen into other people’s conversations, either idly or purposely? Has there been anything you learned from it? Have you gotten into trouble?Sometimes my parents. But I’m a bit of a people watcher in public. Not to be a snoop, just to observe. I love seeing what a variety of people there are in the world yet how we experience similar things.

Daylily: Do you have any daily routines/habits? Are they ingrained into you as a child or have they been recent additions?I have more recent ones like soaking my ears daily for my piercings. I try to be regular with makeup and things and I’ve been starting a new journal idea I thought of.

Field Pansy: Have you ever gone and flown a kite before? Do you wish to do so if you haven’t?Yeah

Flowering Cabbage: Name one thing you keep, despite it being pointless or purposeless other than sentimental value or you simply cannot throw it away, and state the reason why you hang onto it.I probably have a few but I’m not at my parents house yet so I can’t think of anything off hand.

Garden Impatiens: What causes you to lose patience? How do you react when you lose it? People who just wanna complain all the time, I tend to try to get them to see why they shouldn’t but they normally just argue with me so I end up more frustrated idk

Gooseneck Loosestrife: Is there anything strange or unusual you can do, or have noticed happening around you without an identifiable cause?I’m double jointed that’s like one of the only weird things I can do.

Hosta: Do you enjoy the time out in the sun, or do you relax in the shade whenever you get the chance to do so?Depends. I prefer if it’s windy and cooler aired when it’s sunny. Otherwise I’ll be in the shade. (Not to mention my light sensitivity.)

Ivy Geranium: Do you have any pets? If so, how are they doing?I have a cat and a dog. My dog is fine as far as I know. My cat is a little upset cause he misses me but I’m gonna be home hopefully before noon on Tuesday

Japanese Bloodgrass: When was the last time you drew blood, either from yourself or from another? What was the reason?They did general blood tests on me in the hospital in January

Lady’s Mantle: What is one outfit you remember your mother/guardian wearing when you were a child?Mom jeans and high school marching band t shirts

Lambs Ears: Do you remember how old you were when the last time someone tried to sensor their speech around you?When I first got here to my aunts she kept apologizing to me every time she said fuck and i don’t think she has for a while now

Lavender: Is there a particular scent you are fond of? Do you smell this scent often or rarely? Books, not as often as I should. Also my cats fur.

Million Gold: How much money do you make, if any? How much money do you have currently? None right now cause I’ve been unemployed by choice. Hoping I can get a job soon. And I have less money than I’d prefer lol.

Moss Phlox: Have there been any new friends you have made? What do you want to know about them the most?I’ve made a couple. And no not really?

Nasturium: Have you ever been the one to be told a secret? Did you keep it or did you share it with someone else? Was the secret worth being kept?Yes I’ve been told lots. Some I’ve kept and some I haven’t TBH. It’s life, sue me.

Ornamental Purslane: Do you wear any jewelry? Which ones are your favorites? Do you favor certain metals/gems/styles?I always wear a yin yang ring (I accidentally left it at my parents house though :( ) and then there’s my daith rings. I love purple and amethyst jewelry. I like bracelets and necklaces but I don’t have any I wear all the time. There have been a few I wanted though. Like bpd awareness necklaces or something idk.

Rose Campion: If you had to fight, which one person would you chose to fight at your side? Would you pick them based on skill, on trust, or both?I’m struggling to think of any martial artists i know lol

Salvia-May-Night: What your habits/rituals you do when preparing for bed? How long do you usually sleep for?General bathroom stuff, meds, journal, bible and prayer if I remember.

Snapdragon: What sort of things would you hoard, if given the chance? Would you? Makeup and clothes. And probably cats and shoes. This is me dude 😂

Snow-In-Summer: Would you rather have winter or summer? What are the benefits or reason to your preferred season over the other?Winter. I just really REALLY hate being hot.

Sunflower: Name one thing that will always make you smile.My cat

Thread-leaf Tickseed: Are you an insect-magnet when you go outside, or do you insects generally leave you alone? Insects have never really bothered me. It actually shocked me the first time a mosquito ever bit me while I was awake.

Variegated Solomon’s Seal: What is one thing you wished you could seal away and never see/feel/use/etc again? Why?Being sexually assaulted. It was relatively minor, like when I told my friends about it it was like yeah there’s literally no police case. But it was someone I considered a friend and it was just.. shitty.

Wheat Cockscomb: Name one thing you could do that you wished you could do, but cant?Instantaneously have a healthy functioning body without the excess weight

Yellow Cosmos: What is your favorite constellation? Why?Orion. Just cause it reminds me of when I would stargaze with my dad on our front lawn every night and our house faced east so we had a perfect view of Orion. (I actually struggle more with finding the dippers cause the trees in our neighborhood blocked those haha)

#asks #hana answers

[rxttenheart-archived-blog]

THE JOKER X HARLEY QUINN - DANCING WITH THE DEVIL PART ONE.

TITLE - Dancing with the Devil [AO3] [FF] AUTHOR - @rxttenheart & @boredclonwnprinceofcrime PAIRINGS - Harleen Quinzel / The Joker & Harley Quinn / The Joker STORY GENRE - Romance, Drama, Erotica, Angst STORY SUMMARY -  Doctor Harleen Quinzel thought her life was complete. A good job, a good partner, a good home. But her life was thrown apart and shattered when she finally got the patient she had been waiting for - the Joker. STORY RATING - Explicit WARNINGS/TRIGGERS/AUTHOR’S NOTES - Major character deaths, swearing, sexual content, violence. CHAPTER/ONE SHOT - 1. The Entertainment Arrives CHAPTER SUMMARY -  A benefit for the GCPD is gate-crashed by our favourite criminal of Gotham, where a certain doctor just happens to be attending. WARNINGS - swearing, violence. 

Guy Kopski smiled as he watched his partner of three years, Harleen Quinzel, talk with her brother, Tyler. She was attempting to get ready and was in the process of painting her face whilst she complained about the benefit they would be attending. It was a masquerade ball to celebrate Commissioner Loeb’s many years of service and Harleen hated that she had to go to represent Arkham Asylum. He was happy to attend these events with Harleen because he knew that without him, she normally said something that would get her into trouble at work.

    “ Though because it’s a masquerade ball, no one will know it is me which means I can avoid all the board members of Arkham and their pointless questions that only Jeremiah Arkham would know. ” Harleen complained as she finished painting her face and started on her eye makeup. Her brother groaned. By the sounds of it, Harleen had been sat complaining about tonight for a good while completely forgetting about the time zone difference between her and her brother. Guy ran a hand through his hair and leaned against the wall.

    “ Harleen, do you have any idea what time it is here in England? I know you haven’t lived in your home country since you were seventeen but come on. You can complain to me tomorrow about all the boring Americans... Although you live in Gotham City, blondie! I doubt your night will be boring. ” Tyler pointed out. Harleen rolled her eyes at her brother, shaking her head. Her light blonde hair was tied up in a messy bun to keep it out of her face.

    “ It’s a benefit for a police commissioner, Ty! The place will be crawling with cops! Gotham may be filled with crazy people but no one is that crazy. ” Harleen reminded him, putting the finishing touches on her makeup. Guy smiled, he was an extremely lucky man to have someone like Harleen in his life. Beautiful, smart and witty in a different way that only a few people understand. She was a brilliant doctor despite the fact that she is more focused on writing a book on the criminals of Gotham. Deep down, he knew that she all she wanted to do is to help the people she writes about.

    “ You have a guy called the Mad Hatter and someone dresses like a Bat to fight them. But you're the doctor of psychology not me. I'll talk to you tomorrow and you can complain about tonight all you want. Love you, blondie. ”

    “ Love you too, Ty. Give my love to Annie, ” Harleen said, hanging up on her brother. She smiled at Guy in the mirror, “ you need to start getting ready or we will be late. ” She pulled her hair out of the band and it fell free past her shoulders in loose curls. Guy knew talking to her brother always made Harleen a mixture of emotions. She was close to her brother despite them living in two different countries and speaking to him always made her feel homesick. Harleen had moved to Gotham with her family when she was seventeen. When she was eighteen, her father had died in a car accident. Harleen had stayed in Gotham due to her scholarship to Gotham University but her brother and her mother had gone back to England.

    “ Come here. ” He smiled. Harleen turned and walked over to him. She looked different with her face painted white, her eyes framed with black and her lips painted black as well. She looked mysterious and deadly. He wrapped his arms around her, his left hand on the black corset she was wearing and his right on her back between her shoulder blades. He held her close, breathing in her perfume and stroking her soft skin.

    “ What? ” She asked, biting her lip teasingly. He knew by now that kissing her just after she had done her makeup always resulted in smudged lipstick and late attendance.

    “ I just wanted to tell you that you look beautiful. Tonight will be fun, we will have lots of alcohol and just enjoy ourselves. Now let me help get you in your dress. ”

    “ Remember to blend in, no one can know we are there till I find the exact moment to strike. ” The Joker explained to his men as they sat in the back of the van. All of them were dressed in tuxedos and suits with masks at the ready. He had been planning this for months, the exact moment to get rid of Commissioner Loeb. He was sick of having to abide by the Commissioner’s guidelines. The Commissioner and the GCPD needed to understand that this city was his and not theirs. The van stopped outside the back entrance of the Wayne Enterprises building where the benefit was being held. Most of his men were dressed like the cater waiters and would make sure that nothing happened to him. The Joker placed the wig on top of his head to cover his hair and placed the mask over his face. No one would know he was there until he wanted them to.

    “ Let's go have some fun. ”

Harleen had been here for nearly two hours and was bored out of her mind. The room was packed with masked men and women getting drunk and enjoying themselves. Masks gave everyone a sense of anonymity which allowed a lot of people to act like morons. She could recognise some of the staff from the asylum even under their masks. She could spot Commissioner Loeb who seemed to be loving all the attention from the benefit for the GCPD. Despite the fact that he was probably one of the most hated men in Gotham that wasn't constantly fighting the Batman, she knew the rumours that he often took bribes from the criminals of Gotham to overlook their activities or let them off from their crimes. The only person not wearing a mask was Bruce Wayne and didn’t seem to mind that everyone could see who he was. Bruce Wayne was a tall and well built man, with dark hair and dark blue eyes. He was always friendly to her whenever they met. She really liked his butler, Alfred who was also from England and often would come round to the Wayne Manor for tea with him whenever she felt homesick or had a bad day. I should go round soon, it’s been a while. Harleen looked up at Guy, grateful that he was here by her side. Guy was a tall and muscled man with tanned skin, dark hair and grey eyes that look like the sky during a thunderstorm. He was doing his residency for his MD at Gotham General Hospital in the children’s cancer ward. She met Guy Kopski when she was already in her first year of medical school and had helped him decide which area of medicine he should study. Harleen was glad to have someone like Guy in her life, someone normal and stable. He gave her life the slice of normality she needed within the chaos of being a doctor at Arkham Asylum. He looked handsome in a simple black suit with a red tie and a black and red mask covering his eyes to match her dress.

    “ I would recognise that blonde hair any day. ” Thomas Elliott's voice sounded behind her. Harleen smiled and turned to hug her friend. Doctor Elliot was a renowned surgeon and worked with Guy at the hospital. He was a couple of inches taller than Guy but they were a similar build, he had red hair and bright blue eyes, a tanned complexion and was an extremely friendly man even if he did have a bit of temper. He was wearing a black tuxedo with a white mask.

    “ Thomas! I’m so glad you’re here. ” Harleen smiled up at him. He let her go and shook hands with Guy.

    “ Couldn’t miss this a chance to see the two of you outside the hospital. But you, my dear, look bored. Mind if I steal her for a dance? ” Thomas asked. Guy was not much of a dancer and never had an issue with her dancing with others at these things.

    “ Not at all. I think I spotted a few of the doctors from the hospital. Don't wear her out and keep your hands to yourself, Tom! ” Guy joked as he walked away. Thomas led her to the dance floor, the classic music getting louder and he started to waltz with her slowly. His hand on the small of her back and he held her hand softly. His touch was familiar and friendly. He smiled at her as they danced.

    “ How is work? ” Thomas asked. Harleen laughed softly, shaking her head. 

    “ Why does everyone want to know about work? ” She asked. Everywhere she went at the moment since Jonathan Crane, her mentor, tried to poison Gotham with a fear toxin. It was due to his recommendation that she had her job at Arkham Asylum but everyone wanted to know what Crane had really been like. She had no idea how many times she had spoken to several GCPD officers about him. Crane may have been her mentor but she had always got the sense that he wished to be something more. Now he was a patient at the Asylum, the only patient of Doctor Arkham who took it upon himself to try and make his friend sane again. 

    “ Because you’re the new exciting doctor that was the student of Doctor Crane before he went Scarecrow. But I guess that’s all everyone wants to talk about. ”

    “ You think? I can’t remember the last time I was asked a question that wasn’t about the asylum or Crane. I just- ”

    “ Want to work in peace. I understand. How are you though? ” Thomas asked. Harleen sighed.

    “ I’m bored, Thomas. Guy is barely at home at the moment. Doctor Arkham won’t trust me a patient of my own. I have probably had a session with every single patient in that asylum. Only a handful of them have I had more than once. It just makes me restless. I want excitement, I want to something to make my life feel like it has meaning. Get what I mean? ” Thomas nodded. 

    “ You should have become a surgeon. Plenty of excitement there, ” Thomas joked. Harleen laughed as the music stopped, “ you still dance beautifully. I’m sure that will be the first of many. ”

    “ As long as I can have the next dance? ” A new voice sounded beside them, it was soft, sexy and made her want to smile. There was something so familiar about his voice but she couldn't place it. Harleen looked up at the owner of the voice. He was tall and slim, wearing a black tuxedo with a white shirt, bow tie and white gloves. His mask was a full faced one that looked a skull with little black cracks along it with golden swirls around to emphasis his eyes and jawline. He had painted the skin around his eyes white to blend it. He had beautiful green eyes that she just couldn’t look away from, it was like he was staring into her soul.

    “ As long as the lady doesn’t mind, I don’t. ” Thomas said just as the music started up again. This time the musicians were playing something a little darker and a little sexier. A song that she shouldn’t be dancing with a stranger. 

    “ Of course not. ” Harleen smiled at him. Thomas nodded, walking away despite the anxious look she could see in his eyes. This was not the first time a stranger had asked her to dance at a benefit but there was something about this man that was dark, mysterious, dangerous and sexy. Harleen felt his hand on her waist and he gripped her hand tight. As he pulled her in closer, his hand slid from her waist to the small of her back. His eyes never left hers as he started to dance with her along to the song. He was talented at dancing, he knew exactly how to lead her and even put a few spins and dips in their dance.

    “ We’ve never met, have we? ” Harleen asked. She felt his laughter more than heard it.

    “ No, I don't believe we have. I think I would remember those eyes and that smile. ” Harleen looked away, biting on her lower lip softly.

    “ What's your name then? ” Harleen asked, wanting to know if she actually knew the man under that mask.

    “ Tell me yours. ” He demanded.

    “ Why do you want to know my name? ”

    “ Same reason you want to know mine, ” he leaned in and whispered in her ear, “ intrigue. ” She laughed softly.

    “ I'm Harleen, ” she smiled, “ and yours? ” This time he laughed.

    “ If you make a deal with the devil- ”

    “ The devil? And what makes you the devil? Aside from the narcissistic personality and the voice that sounds like you could charm the coldest of hearts. ” Harleen interrupted him. His voice made her want to melt and listen to anything he had to say, despite the voice in her head that told her to stop and walk away. But there was something about him that pulled her in. There was something that Harleen hadn’t felt between herself and someone else that wasn’t Guy in years - sexual tension. She had no idea if he could sense the tension between the two of them. But she found herself longing for him to keep talking and dancing with her.

    “ Ooooh so academic. ” He teased.     “ Well yes, I am a doctor. ” She admitted.

    “ Oh really? At Gotham General? I did wonder how you knew old Tommy boy. ” I wish I could see who was under that mask because if he knows Thomas, then I must have met him at some point.     “ I met Thomas at med school, but I’m not a doctor at Gotham General. ” She said, shaking her head.

    “ So where are you a doctor? ” He asked. Harleen sighed. 

    “ Arkham. ”

    “ How delightful? I know Arkham well. ” Harleen frowned slightly. Do I know you?

    “ How? ” She asked. He laughed softly in her ear, it was mocking and dark, sending shivers down her spine. But it was so familiar and she recongised it but she couldn’t place it.

    “ If I told you that, Harleen, ” he stopped dancing as the song ended, leaning in and whispered in her ear, “ I would have to kill you. ” Harleen looked up at him and laughed softly.

    “ You’re funny. I just wish I knew who you were. ”

    “ You already do. Save me a dance for later, Doctor Harleen. ” He bowed her head to him and walked away. Harleen bit down on her lower lip. She walked back to the edge of the dance floor where Guy and Thomas was waiting for her. She couldn’t tell whether Guy was frowning at her due to his mask but the fact his jawline was tensed, she knew he was not happy.

    “ Who was that? ” Guy asked, his tone short and she knew he was irritated. Harleen looked back into the crowd, trying to spot him amongst the masked faces.

    “ I don’t know. ” But I wish I did.

As the Joker walked away from his dance with the intoxicating Doctor Harleen, he tried to focus on the real task at hand. But the pretty blue eyed doctor kept pushing her way into his mind. It had been the black and red dress similar to a Harlequin design that hugged her figure with a slit up the left side that caught his attention. Her light blonde hair had been left free flowing and she had worn long gloves over her elbows with her dress. The white face paint had showed off her defined cheekbones and jawline, her full lips had been painted black and a black mask had framed her eyes. Her large blue eyes had been so inviting to him, showing him all kinds of things she was capable of. There is a monster inside of her wanting to come out. She can spot the darkness in others because she is capable of so much yourself. He shook his head as he walked up to one of his men who was in a full faced white mask like all the waiters and bartenders were. He couldn’t tell which one of them was under the mask but he knew the moment he said the word, the fun would begin.

    “ I think it is about time the real entertainment arrived. ” The Joker ordered. He looked around the room and saw all his men pull out the weapons they had brought with them. They fired shots into the air and he removed his mask and the wig, dropping the wig and leaving the mask on the table. People started screaming and running the moment the shots were fired.

    “ Everybody calm down! ” He shouted, people stopped screaming and running, clearing a way in the middle of the room for him and his men to enter. All the different masked people made it difficult to spot anyone of interest, he could not spot the real man he came to see as he walked into the centre of the room. However, the alluring Doctor Harleen was watching the events with her large blue eyes and a look of surprise and deep interest. A man that must only be the doctor’s partner was holding onto her like he was scared that she would run up to him. Stop clinging onto her like that, she doesn’t belong to you, pathetic.

    “ Where is Commissioner Loeb? Hand him over and no one else needs to get hurt. ” Silence fell after his order. People looking at each other, trying to figure out what they should do. The Joker smiled, the silence before the chaos was one of his favourite things. Someone moved through the crowd and stepped into the space, removing their mask. The Joker smiled as Commissioner Loeb approached him. Time is over with your games, Loeb. I know you’re having me followed and I am sick of trying to move under your gaze.

    “ What do you want, Joker? ” Loeb asked. Though his voice was strong, the Joker could see the fear in his eyes and on his face. He was scared that the Joker would reveal his own criminal activities. But what he had planned was so much worse. The GCPD officers were a lot easier to spot now with their masks removed, they looked tense and ready for fight. You would be stupid to start a fight here, I have more men and none of mine are in tuxedos.

    “ I just want to talk. I know normally, I do not get involved with politics and other people’s crimes but yours are starting to get into my way- ”

    “ I do not know what you’re talking! ” Loeb interrupted, the Joker laughed. His laughter bouncing off the walls and echoed in the hall.

    “ You need to stop lying to everyone. Remember last week when one of my men paid you off to look the other way when my men raided the Gotham City Bank? Or last month, when you ‘misplaced’ the security footage from the GCPD when I managed to ‘escape’. We would be here for hours if I listed all your criminal activities, ” he placed a hand on Loeb’s shoulder, his other hand had a knife in it and he pressed it against Loeb’s face, “ I just want you out of my wa- ”

    “ BOSS! THE BAT! ” The Joker span to face Batman and smiled.

    “ Sorry Bats, you’re too late. ” He waved his hand at him, showing him and the room the hand buzzer. Loeb fell to the ground, his mouth stretched into a smile as he laughed and his eyes bulging. The room had erupted into chaos, the Joker’s men fighting the Bat and several of the police officers that had removed their masks in order to be able to fight his men. He spotted Lieutenant James Gordon and Detective Harvey Bullock, the two lead officers on most of his crimes. Other guests were running and screaming trying to figure a way out of the room before they got caught in the cross fires. One of his men handed him a gun as he waited for the Bat to come and fight him. He enjoyed these moments, the chaos that ensued from something he had planned and he lived for it. By killing Commissioner Loeb, he had opened the door for a new Gotham and he hoped that this one would be so much more entertaining. He turned, throwing his head back and laughing at the beautiful mess he had designed. He stopped spinning and looked up to see Bats standing in front of him. He opened his mouth to say something but the Bat grabbed him and punched him in the stomach.

    “ You’re so full of surprises, it’s like you let me kill Commissioner Loeb. You knew that he was just as crooked as all of us. ” The Joker laughed, trying to aim the gun at the Bat. The Bat grabbed his wrist, twisting it so the gun fell out his grip. Batman kneed the Joker in the stomach, winding him and he fell down to the ground. He looked around the room, most of the people had left the room apart from the few officers that were arresting his men. He didn’t see the point of continuing the fight that he clearly wasn’t going to win. If he hadn’t gotten distracted by the doctor, he could have been gone several hours before.

    “ You will pay for murdering him, Joker, but for now, you are going back to Arkham where you belong. ” The Bat informed him, as he grabbed his arms and handcuffed him. Bats pulled him up off his knees and he looked around the room. He noticed that his mask had gone from the table. He smiled, licking his lips. Now this is going to be so much fun.

#♥♦ dancing with the devil ( MY FANFIC ) ♦♥ #( dancing with the devil ) #( figured i may as well put it on here ) #( the joker ) #( harleen quinzel ) #( harley quinn ) #( the joker x harleen quinzel ) #( the joker x harley quinn ) #( joker fanfic ) #( harley quinn fanfic ) #( ao3 link ) #( ao3 fic ) #( ff link ) #( ff fic ) #( dc ) #( dc fanfiction )