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thisbipuff-isaswiftie · 2 years

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Lost | Harry Styles

series

[part 5] [part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4]

You were Harry’s neighbor. And someone that crawled her way through Harry’s life. But you thought the world of him, what happens when you realize he doesn’t? He loses you. And he’s lost.

Warnings : Swearing, Kissing, Heartbreaking. Short.

Containing : Mostly Angst, some fluff. Friends to Enemies to Idiots to lovers.

Pairing : You and Harry styles

You pushed open the glass doors and stomped out in the night. You wanted to scream out in the traffic, instead, you just groaned loudly. You didn't want this, you didn't want to be near him. It was just too painful to just be in his presence. Why was your mom doing this to you? Didn't she remember how you broke down near her feet as you told her everything? You hated him with every fiber of your being. You hated his beautiful green eyes. You hated his deep voice. You hated his curls, and you hated his citrus shampoo.

You wanted him to leave you alone.

But that didn't happen.

You quickly tried to get rid of your unshed tears as you heard heavy footsteps. Sighing, and taking a few steps forward, you stared into the traffic and listened to the horns. "Y/n-"

"I'm not going with you."

"I was thinking about the same thing. But you won't get a taxi in this traffic. You might wanna-"

You turned around sharply and looked at him. "I don't care! I'll find my way but I don't need you to take me, got it?" You said loudly enough to strike Harry of your anger but not enough to attract any attention. "Y/n please, I don't want you getting hurt." He said softly. You scoffed, the nerve of this guy. "You don't want me to get hurt? That's something I've never heard of!" You said coldly. Harry winced, your voice that he remembered to be so sweet was suddenly so unfeeling. His heart hurt more when he realized this was his doing.

He looked at you, "Please, Y/n." He whispered and took a step towards you. "Let me just take you home, and I won't bother you."

"Please! Why would I want to be a bother to you! Remember how seeing me pains you?" You cried. Harry clenched his jaw, remembering his own words. You were sniffling and shaking, you just wanted to rest. Harry took a careful step again, seeing that you were going to cry, he quickly took you in his embrace. You wanted to get out, you wanted to get out but you were too weak at the time. "No! No, no." You hit his chest, but he ran a hand through your hair and breathed in.

"Shhh, Shh. Calm down, baby." He cooed. You hated this, but you just wanted to let go and collapse onto his chest and sleep. "Let's go, yeah? Let's go." He said and half-carried you to his bike. You whimpered as you sat on his bike. He kissed your forehead, sitting on the bike, he gently took both of your hands and wrapped them around his waist so you would be leaning on his back. You sighed as you rested your body on his back, you took in a long breath of his scent with the fresh air, and closed your eyes. "It's going to be okay. Ok?" He said and started the engine.

You just remembered how the wind combed through your hair, and Harry's cologne.

.....

You felt warm. You felt relaxed. You felt covered and comfortable. You exhaled through your nose, moved, and laid there. You breathed in and exhaled calmly, your lungs being filled with the scent of jasmine and gasoline. Dewdrops, and a hint of gasoline. It reminded you of home. You sighed and looked up to the ceiling. Wait a minute. You suddenly got up and looked around. You were home. You got off the bed and looked around. Not a thing had changed.

You chuckled and bit the tip of your thumb as you saw the small drawings you made on the walls. The polaroids you stuck above your desk. You briefly ran your hand on them and then turned around, only to be met with the window. The window that had your daisies, the window from which you would talk to him, the window that held so many bittersweet memories.

You stepped towards it, touching the pink curtains that you loved. It reminded you of how you were not embarrassed to be yourself. You bit your lip, you hoped that the daisies you planted were not dead, but they were likely. You sighed and grabbed them and opened them. You were hit with a ray of sunshine. You covered your eyes with your hand and then smiled, your heart filling with joy. Home. You chuckled quietly and looked down only to be shocked when you saw your daisies quite lively.

"Oh my god!" You said, your voice low. You gently touched them and smiled. They were blooming, just like you were. It felt so good to be home. You looked up and your breath hitched when you saw his window. His curtain was open and he was pacing around, brushing his teeth. Shirtless. You took in a deep breath, as you stared at him. You tried to look around, but damn, when did he get so ripped.

You coughed rapidly trying to shrug off your thoughts. What the fuck was that?

You looked away, flushed when Harry noticed your cough. His eyes widened and he quickly put a shirt on, gargled and came to the window. "Hey-"

"I'm going to the hospital, thanks for last night, but that's it." You said sharply. Your heart clenched when you saw his pained expression. "Yeah," He whispered. "Bye." You turned around and breathed heavily, this is not a time to cry. You needed to shower. You quickly showered, put on a white top and a flannel, and headed straight towards the hospital. You sighed and got out of your house, a sneeze sneaking up your nose. You knew you shouldn't have washed your hair, you cursed. You looked around waiting for a taxi.

You rolled your eyes. You forgot that taxi's didn't roam at your part of town, you'd either go by your bicycle or...Harry would take you. But that was long ago. You looked around, shit, how were you gonna go to the hospital.

"You need a ride?"

You swore loudly again, your heart jumping. You looked in front of you, to see none other than Roger Brown. "You live here?" You ask him. "Well, good morning to you too miss," He snarled sarcastically. You rolled your eyes and raised your eyebrows. "Yes, I live here. Now, do you want a ride?"

You shook your head. "Why didn't you tell me? You could've taken me home.."

"Now, now. Doesn't that seem forward?" He said, and winked. You gave a not-so amused look and suddenly came forward, opening the door harshly and then sitting in it. You resisted the urge to smirk when you saw his priceless, alarmed, caught off guard expression.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" He shook his head and put on a charming smile. "You are something." He said and fired the engine but as you heard it, you bit your lip. You looked outside the window, your head leaning on your hands and you kept them on the window sill and your hair literally flying when he drove off...and not noticing the pained expression on Harry's face as he watched you both drive off.

.....

Harry sighed as he plopped down on his bed. His mind was hurting from overthinking. He massaged his temple, and closed his eyes. But every time he closed his eyes, you would haunt him. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw you. You biting your lip, you smiling and giggling, you in his purple football shirt that's too big for you, you being shy, you when you were 15, you when you were 9 and begging him to come with him at the carnival. And you as you looked today, so, so beautiful. Just you.

He didn't know what was happening to him.

When he saw you last night, his heart leaped out of his chest. The first time his eyes met yours, he felt like he couldn't breathe. Your eyes were so mesmerizing, their shade was amazing. It was like a beautiful painting that had come to live. And even if you were so exhausted and traveled so far, you still looked so fucking pretty.

Harry gulped and opened his eyes. What was he thinking? He breathed in, and got up. He clenched his jaw when he thought of that doctor who offered you a ride. He rolled his neck, it was nothing. They're just friends.

And what gives you the right to be angry at her? His mind scowled at him. He knew that. He had no right to be upset at that, you can be with anyone you like. He ran a hand through his hair. Anyone. That didn't exactly sit well with him. He shook his and weakly got up. He cuddled into his shirt, that had your scent all over it. It made him feel comfortable.

Harry snapped back, and walked down the stairs. "Hey dipshit! Did you know y/n's back?!"

"Gem-"

Harry cleared his throat and awkwardly stared at the ground as Gemma asked him. "Why are you acting strange-" He avoided her gaze. He really didn't want her to know he had already met you, in the kind of conditions no one would anticipate. He embarrassingly pouted when Gemma gasped, realization hitting her. "You already knew?! Is she here yet?! Dude!" She yelled but seeing as Harry looked more guilty, she tilted her head. "You've already met her, haven't you?"

.....

Harry rolled his eyes as his sister practically ran at the hospital when he told you what exactly had happened, except a few details here and there. He walked slowly behind her but she scoffed at him and took grasp of his hand, practically dragging him. He yelped when he was about to hit a wall. "Gemma-Could you-ahh! Oh my god, I'm sorry, miss-ah!" He stuttered and apologized to people in between. But then he just gave up and let Gemma drag him.

Harry looked up ahead to see your mother. "Mrs. L/n!!! Help me!" She looked up, alarmed but turned into a grin when she saw Gemma. "Hello dear!" Gemma's face lit up when she saw your mother, and she pulled her hand and hugged your mother. "Hi! How are you? How's uncle?"

"Oh, I'm fine." She dismissed jokingly. "And your uncle is perfect, as he said. He's asleep for now, but he said he wanted ice cream when he woke up. I protested but the doc said it's okay to eat ice cream and stuff now and then, but in a small amount. So, here I am buying cookie ice cream." Gemma giggled. "That's good! Oh and who's the doctor?"

"A guy named Roger Brown, tall, dark, and not that handsome," Harry grumbled. Gemma was taken aback by his response and gave him a weird look, while your mother just slightly smirked. "What?"

"Gemma? Gemma!!" Harry's head snapped into the direction of your voice. He looked at you grin at his sister and run towards her, as she did the same. Harry would've rolled his eyes at you if this were to happen before, but right now Harry was too preoccupied being mesmerized by your shining eyes. He didn't realize he was staring at you, when suddenly he was nudged by your mother.

He cleared his throat, interrupting your hugs and squeals. You furrowed your eyebrows at him as you pulled back from Gemma. "Oh my god, how are you!? And how's LA? Ooh and did you meet any boys???" Gemma rambled while Harry gave her a not-so amused look, greatly annoyed by the last question. You giggled at her, and side-hugged her. "Well, there was someone..." you muttered.

What the fuck?

Who was this someone?

Gemma squealed, "Really?" You shook your head. "Well, not exactly 'was', I just met him yesterday." Harry's ears started ringing. He knew exactly who you were talking to. And he didn't like it. He glared behind you, Dr. Roger Brown was walking his way towards you. Harry watched as you went towards him, a smile etched across your beautiful face, as you introduced him to Gemma. He glared at the way Dr. Roger Brown deeply chuckled, and slightly caressed your waist. He looked at the way you blushed at him, making his heart tighten again.

He hated it, he hated it because that was the way you blushed at him.

.....

"Are you ready?" Your mom asked you. You blushed and looked at yourself in the mirror and twirled, and then turned back to your mom and nodded. Your mom smiled at you, "You're looking beautiful, my love." You smiled at her. "Thanks, mom." She led you by your waist. You walked down the stairs, holding your dress and saw your father standing in the kitchen making a sandwich. "Hello there." He said and you swayed from side to side shyly. "Oh honey, you look beautiful." He said and hugged you. "Come on, your ride is here." You blushed as you realized who your ride was.

You had developed a crush on him, and although you were trying to move on cause somehow you knew that he would never feel the same, your heart beating was fast. You carefully stepped out the door, and walked towards the car, your eyes focusing on the ground.

"Holy fuck." Were Harry's words when he saw you.

You looked up, your eyes shining. Your beautiful dress hung down, and the beautiful lilac shade that you wore made you look brighter, somehow. The innocent off-shoulder neckline adorned with flowers made you look so lovely. And the way your hair was put up just made you prettier. Harry breathed, not knowing why his heart was freaking the hell out.

You looked like a fucking princess.

You looked like such a pretty princess.

Harry gulped in, and then looked at Gemma who nudged him. He looked back at you and bit his lip. "You look v-very beautiful." He said. You blushed under his intense gaze. "Thank you," You said, your voice low. Gemma rolled her eyes at her brother and pushed him towards you. After giving Gemma a 'seriously?' look, he walked towards you and held out his hand out for you to take. You shyly took it and let him lead you towards the car. You sighed as you got in and looked back at your father and waved at him as Harry started the engine. "Bye, have fun, honey!!"

"Thanks dad!"

You smiled prettily and looked in front of you, as Harry drove off in the jeep. You sighed as your heart thudded hard against your chest in the quiet night. Harry looked at you, as the moon shined on you. He breathed in again deeply, not understanding why he was nervous. "Look-" He started to speak. But you just shook your head, knowing exactly what he was going to say. "I know you're going to just dance with me for one song for convenience and then go to your group. Could you just come back when I have to go home and not leave me there?" Harry's words stuck in his throat. He didn't know why but seeing so broken yet smiling made his throat constrict with pain. He nodded at your directness and stayed in silence as you looked outside the window again, lost in your own world.

After you reached the school for the prom. You were surprised but hid it well when Harry got out and opened the door for you. "You don't have to do that just to show, Harry. I don't care." You said, not noticing Harry's taken aback expression. Harry let out an exasperated sigh, gently took your hand, and led you to the hall. You looked at Harry and blushed. He looked so amazing. His long hair was as greasy as ever, making him look hotter, with the suit being a great factor. His green eyes were so beautiful.

You got in the hall and took a deep breath. A bit overwhelmed by the loud music and the lights and all of the students dancing and talking. You took a shaky breath, which Harry noticed, and glanced at you, somewhat concerned. You took in another deep breath when you saw the popular crowd staring at you and Harry judgmentally. You suddenly felt conscious, and you got your hand out of Harry's grip and rubbed the forearm of your other arm, and sighed. You weakly smiled at Harry and gestured at the punch.

"I'm going to get something."

Harry stared at you speeding off. What the hell happened to you? He went towards the crowd in the middle who was dancing and spotted one of his friends, who called him over. He smiled at him briefly and nodded and went over him, hoping that would get his mind over you, but unfortunately it didn't.

You were near the food table, sulking as your hand reached the cheetos. You looked over to the big crowd of people, dancing, singing, laughing. You hated that they never included you. You hated the feeling of loneliness. You hated to pretend that you have Harry and that he's never gonna leave you. But that wasn't true, was it? Nobody ever knew that sometimes you would choke up while trying to keep your tears in, why? Because everybody hated you for being you.

Even the guy that you loved.

Your head shot up. Loved? You internally groaned. Why did this have to happen to you? You stuffed your mouth with more chips and munched on them loudly. But then you froze when you heard someone groan. "Stop stuffing your mouth with chips and let's go, love." He said, his voice disinterested. "Why are you here?" You squeaked out as his hand slowly reached out to your cheek and wiped out of some crumbs.

"Well, I promised you a dance, idiot." You blushed as he said that, and he slightly smirked, kind of knowing what kind of effect he had on you. You looked down, as he led you and gasped as he pulled you close. Your eyes slowly went higher than his chest to his deep green orbs. Harry looked at you and saw you flushed, gaping at him too. He liked the way you blushed at him, knowing that he was the only person who could do that.

.....

Your eyes glanced at Harry, who was already gaping at you, his nose turning red. You scrunched your eyebrows in concern, why was his nose turning red? You looked back at Roger, who smiled back at you. "Nice to meet you, Gemma." He said and turned to you. "I have to get back to my patient, but would you like to join me for Jell-O break at 2 o'clock maybe?" He asked hopefully. You grinned at his requested and nodded. "Sure."

Harry looked away from the scene to the ward where your father laid. He sighed and walked towards it. He looked through the small window to see your father sleeping with a remote in his hand. Harry walked in quietly and stepped towards the bed, and slowly took the remote out of his hands, making sure not to wake him up and kept it on the bedside table. "You know he likes it on, don't turn it off."

"I know." There was a silence between the both of you as your eyes drifted from his figure and your father's, to the window in front of you. You looked at the clouds, the weird shapes and the unique white that coloured them, and the way they were scattered across the blue sky. "Harry." He took in a sharp deep breath and turned at you. "Yeah?"

"Do you really care about my father?" Harry smiled and scoffed. You scrunched up your nose, your heart beating as you found his smile ever so sweet. "Of course, I do." He says, his voice deep. He turned his head to look at your father once again and back at you. You nodded at his reply and felt your mind softening it's opinions about him. "Harry, last night-"

"Can you not call me that?" He asked. You looked at him, confused by his question. "Why?"

"I was so used to you calling me Haz or Curly hair, that I forgot how my name was pronounced out of your mouth." Your ears and cheeks tinted pink at that. You swallowed and bit your lip. "Maybe you have to earn that." Harry's eyebrows raised up, and he turned back to you. "What do you mean?" You sighed deeply and looked around the room, and back at your father sleeping. "You better be true when you say that you care for my father." Is all that you say. "We can be acquaintances." You said and walk out of there.

Harry stood there in shock. Did you just say that and walk out of here? He sighed and looked at the door. You sighed and rested your head on the door. Little did you know, so did he.

At this point in both of your lives, you didn't what was going to happen. It was unclear and confusing to you, yet you both went on. You didn't know the outcome of this, of giving Harry a chance or considering dating Roger, but you just wanted to go with the flow. Overthinking was a sickness that everybody goes through, and right now both of you were literally living it. Your heart always pounded with fear as you thought about your parents, about your father.

You didn't know what was going to happen to him, will life give him a chance or not? Life was unpredictable, and you knew it. You had to live through it. You had to face this. And you weren't the only one, you will have many other people with you. The ones you love. And maybe that included Harry.

.....

You sighed and sat on the bench outside the hospital, your fingers rubbing your forehead. Your mother was asleep, and Gemma had gone home because she had some business to attend to. Harry was beside your father, in case he woke up. You looked at the sky, your head not clear. You were having very negative thoughts. Not about your father, no. About you being a good daughter. When you saw the way Harry cared for your father, your heart ached. What if he was more caring than you? What if you were totally wrong about him?

You didn't remember how it used to be between them.

"Hey."

You looked up, your heart startled. "Roger.." You sighed and got up. Heat crept up your neck and cheeks as he put a loose strand behind your ear. "You look really pale, are you okay?" He said, and immediately his hand went up to your forehead, your eyes widened at him. "Sorry, habit." You laughed softly and pinched Roger's cheeks. He blushed and you kissed his cheek. Roger gazed into your eyes and you felt shy under his stare. You looked into his grey eyes, as storming as ever, but they were not as lively as Harry's.

what the fuck. Your breath hitched and you suddenly stepped back as you tried to clear your head. Roger broke out of his trance. To give you space he stepped back a bit. What the hell was that? You looked back to Roger who looked at you, concerned. "Y/n, are you sure you're okay?"

You nodded quietly. He briefly touched your shoulders- and then caressed your cheek. "Anyway, are we on tonight?"

You smiled at him, "Definitely."

Suddenly, you heard his beeper go out. "I'm sorry, I have to go." You shook your head and gestured for him to go on. He looked at you and smiled wholeheartedly- but you gasped when he suddenly grabbed your neck and kissed your cheek. "Wish me luck!" He ran back.

You stood there, shocked for two seconds, and then chuckled. You walked off, touching your cheek, excited for your date.

.....

You stood there behind the crowd, hiding near the extra chairs. You could not bear to look at the cluster of people who danced around, happy while you felt so...empty.

After that dance, Harry saw Cassie- the popular cheerleader person. You, personally thought that she was not a good person at all. You remembered all the times she made you the center of attention and laughed at you because of your lack of friends which you tried to deny, but you didn't. For this guilty feeling stuck in your throat, telling them that Harry was your best friend will not make Harry happy.

Was he even your friend?

You looked around, the loud music making you uneasy. This is what you aren't supposed to feel. Be normal, they say. You're supposed to be accompanied by your date- rather your alleged best friend.

Why were you still pretending?

You hated feeling lonely at heart, when you knew nobody was on your side, beside you, supporting you. You already knew- but you still pretended, perhaps because you loved him too much and didn't want to let him go, or because you didn't want to feel like that.

And the longer you tried to hide your feelings for him, the harder it hit you that he wasn't truly your friend at all.

.....

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br0-k3n-sch00lb01 · 2 months

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middle aged sunflower fluff fic maybe?

(i fucking love middle aged sunflower)

AAA YES I CN TRY?! I’VE NEVER DONE IT BEFOEE EHEHEH

Daisies and Dewdrops - A MIDDLE AGE SUNFLOWER FIC WITH FLUFF N STUFF XX

MORNING. 20XX. SUNNY’S HOUSE.

Sunny sat out on the bench swing on his front porch. The sun had just barely risen, and cool morning light shone onto the garden they had. The dewdrops on the flowers were delicate and reflected the light like millions of tiny diamonds. The front door opened with its usual ‘CLICK-CREAK’ and Sunny waited. Basil sat next to him.

“Morning, sunshine.”

Sunny smiled. That had become his nickname, then? ‘Sunshine…’

“Morning.”

Basil studied him.

“Why are you up so early?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

Basil nodded. He held a cup of steaming hot tea in his hands. Sunny looked at him.

“Doesn’t that hurt?”

Basil shook his head.

“Not really. You get used to it after a while. Also, it’s like, REALLY cold out this morning? Not sure if you realized that.”

Sunny had, in fact, noticed it. “I’m aware.”

There was silence for a moment. The sound of a car pulling up on their street. A voice, suddenly, called to them.

“BASIL! SUNNY!”

Sunny turned his head. Kel was running towards them.

“Careful with the flowers, Kel…”

Basil murmured this, to no effect, and winced as Kel trampled a few daisies. Aubrey walked patiently behind him, cautiously avoiding any possible damage to the garden. Kel stopped in front of them.

“You guys!! You won’t… believe … what happened… with… my sister!!”

Sunny frowned.

“Did you really come all this way just to tell us something about your sister? And why bring Aubrey with you?”

Kel sighed. Aubrey elbowed him.

“What happened with his sister isn’t important. You guys wanna come to our wedding?”

Basil flinched.

“Your wedding.”

Aubrey nodded.

“You’re asking us that. At 7:00 AM on a monday morning.”

Aubrey nodded again, more hesitantly this time.

“Do you not want to?”

Sunny stood up.

“He means to say that would be wonderful.”

AT THE WEDDING.

And then Aubrey tossed her bouquet of flowers straight from Basil’s garden. Basil turned to Sunny, who was watching it avidly.

“Wait, Sunny, NO-“

Too late, and Sunny caught it. Basil went red.

“S-Sunny- wha-“

Sunny shushed him.

“It’s my birthday gift. Happy birthday, idiot.”

Basil beamed.

#omori #omori fanfic #omori sunny #omori basil #omori sunflower #omori kelbrey #THIS WAS IMPOSSIBLE

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demcnsinmymind · 1 year

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COLOURS .red . brown . orange . yellow . green . blue . purple . pink . black . white . teal . silver . gold . grey . lilac . metallic . matte . royal blue . strawberry red . charcoal grey . forest green . apple red . violet . navy blue . crimson . cream . mint green . bubblegum pink . sky blue . pale jade . heather grey . lavender purple . onyx .

ELEMENTS .fire . ice . water . air . earth . rain . snow . wind . moon .stars . sun . heat . cold . steam . frost . lightning . sunlight . moonlight . dawn . dusk . twilight . midnight . sunrise . sunset . dewdrops .

WEAPONS .fists . legs . sword . dagger . spear . lance . bow & arrow . hammer . shield . poison . guns . axes . throwing axes . whips . knives .throwing knives . pepper sprays . tasers . machine guns . slingshots . katanas . maces . staffs . wands . powers . magical items . magic . rocks . mud balls . claws . teeth . stealth . strategy . forehead . warhammer . polearm . flail .

MATERIALS .gold . silver . copper . platinum . titanium . rose gold . diamonds . pearls . rubies . sapphires . emeralds . amethyst . metal . iron . rust . steel . glass . wood . porcelain . paper . wool . fur . lace . leather . silk . velvet . denim . linen . cotton . charcoal . clay . stone . asphalt . brick . marble . dust . glitter . blood . dirt . mud . smoke . ash . shadow . carbonate . rubber . synthetics . ribbon . moonstone .

NATURE .grass . leaves . trees . bark . roses . daisies . sunflowers . tulips . lavender . petals . seeds . hay . sand . rocks . roots . flowers . fungi . ocean . river . frozen lake . meadow . valley .forest . desert . tundra . savanna . rain forest . caves . underwater . coral reef . beach . waves . space . clouds .mountains .snow . mist . pond .

ANIMALS .big cats . wolves .foxes . eagles . owls . falcons . hawks . swans . snakes . turtles . ducks . bugs . spiders . birds . whales . dolphins . fish . sharks . horses . cats . dogs . bunnies . penguins . crows . ravens . mice . lizards . werewolves . unicorns . pegasus . dragons . monkeys . raccoons . rats .

FOODS / DRINKS .sugar . salt . candy . bubblegum . wine . champagne . hard liquor . vodka . beer . coffee . sake . tea . spices . herbs . apples . orange . lemon . cherry . strawberry . watermelon . vegetables . fruits. meat . fish . pies . desserts . chocolate . lollies . cream . caramel . berries . nuts . cinnamon . burgers . surf ‘n ’ turf . burritos . pizza . ambrosia . eggs . milk . raspberries .

HOBBIES .music . art . watercolors . gardening . smithing . sculpting . painting . sketching . fighting . writing . composing . cooking . baking . sewing . training . dancing . acting . singing . martial arts . self - defense . war tactics . electronics . technology . cameras . video cameras . video games . computer . phone . movies . theater . libraries . books . magazines . cds . records . cassettes . piano . strings . violin . guitar . electronic guitar . bass guitar . harmonica . harp . woodwinds . brass . flute . bells . exploring . playing cards . poker chips . chess . dice . motorcycle riding . eating . sleeping . climbing . running . jogging . parkour . studying .

STYLE .lingerie . armor . cape . dress . tunic . vest . shirt . boots . ankle boots . heels . leggings . trousers . jeans . skirt . jewelry . earrings . necklace . bracelet . ring . pendant . hat . beanie hat . crown . circlet . helmet . scarf . brocade . cloaks . corsets . doublet . chest plate . gorget . bracers . belt . cravat . sash . coat . leather jacket . hood . gloves . socks . masks . mittens . cowls . braces . watches . glasses . sun glasses . straw hat . visor . eye contacts . makeup . ribbons . hoodie . sweater . converses . tennis shoes . boxers . briefs . boxer briefs . shorts . cargo . cropped pants . crop top . cuffed pants . clawed gauntlet . formal attire .

MISC .balloons . bubbles . cityscape . light . dark . candles . growth . decay . war . peace . money . power . percussion . clocks . photos . mirrors . pets . diary . journal . fairy lights . madness . sanity . sadness . happiness . optimism . pessimism . loneliness . family . friends . comrades . assistants . co - workers . enemies . loyalty . smoking . drugs . kindness . love . hugs . kisses . spring . summer . autumn . winter . farmland . countryside . suburban . village .

#I'm done playing this character : ooc #out of batteries #do you have any idea what ten years in here can do to a person? : character study

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fangedbrbiemoved1 · 1 year

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COLOURS .

red . brown . orange . yellow . green . blue . purple . pink . black . white . teal . silver . gold . grey . lilac . metallic . matte . royal blue . strawberry red . charcoal grey . forest green . apple red . violet . navy blue . crimson . cream . mint green . bubblegum pink . sky blue . pale jade . heather grey . lavender purple . onyx .

ELEMENTS .

fire . ice . water . air . earth . rain . snow . wind . moon . stars . sun . heat . cold . steam . frost . lightning . sunlight . moonlight . dawn . dusk . twilight . midnight . sunrise . sunset . dewdrops .

WEAPONS .

fists . legs . sword . dagger . spear . lance . bow & arrow . hammer . shield . poison . guns . axes . throwing axes . whips . knives . throwing knives . pepper sprays . tasers . machine guns . slingshots . katanas . maces . staffs . wands . powers . magical items . magic . rocks . mud balls . claws . teeth . stealth . strategy . forehead . warhammer . polearm . flail .

MATERIALS .

gold . silver . copper . platinum . titanium . rose gold . diamonds . pearls . rubies . sapphires . emeralds . amethyst . metal . iron . rust . steel . glass . wood . porcelain . paper . wool . fur . lace . leather . silk . velvet . denim . linen . cotton . charcoal . clay . stone . asphalt . brick . marble . dust . glitter . blood . dirt . mud . smoke . ash . shadow . carbonate . rubber . synthetics . ribbon . moonstone .

NATURE .

grass . leaves . trees . bark . roses . daisies . sunflowers . tulips . lavender . petals . seeds . hay . sand . rocks . roots . flowers . fungi . ocean . river . frozen lake . meadow . valley . forest . desert . tundra . savanna . rain forest . caves . underwater . coral reef . beach . waves . space . clouds . mountains . snow . mist . pond .

ANIMALS .

big cats . wolves . foxes . eagles . owls . falcons . hawks . swans . snakes . turtles . ducks . bugs . spiders . birds . whales . dolphins . fish . sharks . horses . cats . dogs . bunnies . penguins . crows . ravens . mice . lizards . werewolves . unicorns . pegasus . dragons . monkeys . raccoons . rats .

FOODS / DRINKS .

sugar . salt . candy . bubblegum . wine . champagne . hard liquor . vodka . beer . coffee . sake . tea . spices . herbs . apples . orange . lemon . cherry . strawberry . watermelon . vegetables . fruits. meat . fish . pies . desserts . chocolate . lollies . cream . caramel . berries . nuts . cinnamon . burgers . surf ‘n ’ turf . burritos . pizza . ambrosia . eggs . milk . raspberries .

HOBBIES .

music . art . watercolors . gardening . smithing . sculpting . painting . sketching . fighting . writing . composing . cooking . baking . sewing . training . dancing . acting . singing . martial arts . self - defense . war tactics . electronics . technology . cameras . video cameras . video games . computer . phone . movies . theater . libraries . books . magazines . cds . records . cassettes . piano . strings . violin . guitar . electronic guitar . bass guitar . harmonica . harp . woodwinds . brass . flute . bells . exploring . playing cards . poker chips . chess . dice . motorcycle riding . eating . sleeping . climbing . running . jogging . parkour . studying .

STYLE .

lingerie . armor . cape . dress . tunic . vest . shirt . boots . ankle boots . heels . leggings . trousers . jeans . skirt . jewelry . earrings . necklace . bracelet . ring . pendant . hat . beanie hat . crown . circlet . helmet . scarf . brocade . cloaks . corsets . doublet . chest plate . gorget . bracers . belt . cravat . sash . coat . leather jacket . hood . gloves . socks . masks . mittens . cowls . braces . watches . glasses . sun glasses . straw hat . visor . eye contacts . makeup . ribbons . hoodie . sweater . converses . tennis shoes . boxers . briefs . boxer briefs . shorts . cargo . cropped pants . crop top . cuffed pants . clawed gauntlet . formal attire .

MISC .

balloons . bubbles . cityscape . light . dark . candles . growth . decay . war . peace . money . power . percussion . clocks . photos . mirrors . pets . diary . journal . fairy lights . madness . sanity . sadness . happiness . optimism . pessimism . loneliness . family . friends . comrades . assistants . co - workers . enemies . loyalty . smoking . drugs . kindness . love . hugs . kisses . spring . summer . autumn . winter . farmland . countryside . suburban . village .

tagged by : NO ONE tagging : @mikewheelertm , @h0wled , @r4chelamber @crispyblonde & YOU!!!

#˖ ♛ study » ( vampire barbie )

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corruptbadge · 1 year

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COLOURS .

ELEMENTS .

WEAPONS .

MATERIALS .

NATURE .

ANIMALS .

FOODS / DRINKS .

HOBBIES .

STYLE .

MISC .

tagged by : NO ONE tagging : anyone who wants to do it.

#❖ ･ﾟ ‣ ─── * study.#simply redoing these things to help my muse for my boy out #tw long post

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buddyfightbarista · 2 years

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Stolen from @stcllariis-a ⟵⁠(⁠๑⁠¯⁠◡⁠¯⁠๑⁠)

WHAT ARE YOUR MUSES AESTHETICS?

BOLD any that applies to your muse and italicize any that kind of applies to your muse. feel free to add to the list.

𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 . red. brown. orange. yellow. green. blue. purple. pink. black. white. teal. silver. gold. grey. lilac. metallic. matte. royal blue. strawberry red. charcoal grey. forest green. apple red. violet. navy blue. crimson. cream. mint green. bubblegum pink. sky blue. pale jade. amber. tan. copper. bronze. magenta.

𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 . fire. ice. water. air. earth. rain. snow. wind. moon. stars. sun. heat. cold. steam. frost. lightning. thunder. sunlight. moonlight. dawn. dusk. twilight. midnight. sunrise. sunset. dewdrops. darkness. shadows. nature. aether. quintessence. blood. life. death.

𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 . claws. long fingers. fangs. teeth. wings. tails. lips. bare feet. neck. back. shoulders. legs. freckles. unseen bruises. canines. scars. scratches. wounds. burns. fingernails. spikes. feathers. webs. eyes. hands. sweat. tears. feline. chubby. curvy. short. tall. muscular. piercing. tattoos. athletic. hair. fur. sleek.

𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐏𝐎𝐍𝐒 . scythe. fists. legs. sword. dagger. spear. lance. bow & arrow. hammer. shield. poison. guns. axes. throwing axes. whips. knives. throwing knives. pepper sprays. tasers. baseball bats. machine guns. slingshots. katanas. maces. staffs. wands. powers. magical items. magic. rocks. mud balls. claws. teeth. stealth. strategy.

𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐒 . gold. silver. copper. platinum. titanium. rose gold. diamonds. pearls. rubies. sapphires. emeralds. amethyst. metal. iron. rust. steel. glass. wood. porcelain. paper. wool. fur. lace. leather. silk. velvet. denim. linen. cotton. charcoal. clay. stone. asphalt. brick. marble. dust. glitter. blood. dirt. mud. smoke. ash. shadow. carbonate. rubber. synthetics. ribbon.

𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 . grass. leaves. trees. bark. roses. daisies. sunflowers. tulips. lavender. petals. seeds. hay. sand. rocks. roots. flowers. fungi. ocean. river. frozen lake. meadow. valley. forest. desert. tundra. savanna. rain forest. caves. underwater. coral reef. beach. waves. space. clouds. mountains. snow. mist. pond.

𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐒 . big cats. wolves. foxes. eagles. owls. falcons. hawks. swans. snakes. turtles. crocodiles. ducks. bugs. spiders. birds. whales. dolphins. fish. sharks. horses. cats. dogs. bunnies. penguins. deer. crows/ravens. mice. lizards. werewolves. unicorns. pegasus. dragons. monkeys.

𝐅𝐎𝐎𝐃/𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐒 . sugar. salt. candy. bubblegum. wine. champagne. hard liquor. vodka. beer. coffee. sake. tea. water. spices. herbs. apples. orange. lemon. cherry. strawberry. watermelon. vegetables. fruits. meat. fish. pies. desserts. chocolate. lollies. cream. caramel. berries. nuts. cinnamon. burgers. surf ‘n’ turf. burritos. tacos. pizza. ambrosia. eggs. milk. ramen. chips. ice cream.

𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐄𝐒 . music. art. watercolors. gardening. smithing. sculpting. painting. sketching. fighting. writing. composing. cooking. baking. sewing. training. dancing. acting. singing. martial arts. self-defense. electronics. technology. cameras. video cameras. computer. phone. movies. theater. libraries. books. magazines. CDs. records. vinyl. cassettes. piano. strings. violin. guitar. electronic guitar. bass guitar. harmonica. harp. woodwinds. brass. flute. bells. exploring. playing cards. poker chips. chess. dice. motorcycle riding. eating. sleeping. climbing. running. jogging. parkour. studying. video games. comics. manga.

𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄 . lingerie. armor. cape. dress. tunic. vest. shirt. boots. ankle boots. heels. leggings. trousers. jeans. skirt. jewelry. earrings. necklace. bracelet. ring. pendant. hat. beanie hat. crown. circlet. helmet. scarf. brocade. cloaks. corsets. doublet. chest plate. gorget. bracers. belt. sash. coat. jacket. hood. gloves. socks. masks. mittens. cowls. braces. watches. glasses. sunglasses. straw hat. visor. eye contacts. makeup. ribbons. hoodie. sweater. converses. tennis shoes. boxers. briefs. boxer briefs. shorts. cargo. cropped pants. crop top. cuffed pants. overalls.

𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂 . balloons. bubbles. cityscape. light. dark. candles. growth. decay. war. peace. money. power. percussion. clocks. mirrors. pets. diary. journal. fairy lights. madness. sanity. sadness. happiness. optimism. pessimism. loneliness. suffering. family. friends. strength. comrades. assistants. co-workers. enemies. loyalty. smoking. drugs. kindness. love. hugs. kisses. spring. summer. autumn. winter. farmland. countryside. suburban. village. depression. longing. sloth. pride. envy. wrath. greed. gluttony. lust. melancholy.

#muse bold what applies aesthetic #cardfight!! vanguard rp #fcbf roleplay #fcbf rp #cfv rp #future card buddyfight roleplay #muse inspo #lemon juice in your fingernails but still you dig them into your palms #shia hibino

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petalseas · 8 months

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WHAT ARE YOUR MUSES AESTHETICS ?

REPOST! DON’T REBLOG. BOLD any that applies to your muse and italicize any that kind of applies to your muse. feel free to add to the list.

𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 . fire. ice. water. air. earth. rain. snow. wind. moon. stars. sun. heat. cold. steam. frost. lightning. sunlight. moonlight. dawn. dusk. twilight. midnight. sunrise. sunset. dewdrops.

𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 . claws. long fingers. fangs. teeth. wings. tails. lips. bare feet. neck. back. shoulders. legs. freckles. unseen bruises. canines. scars. scratches. wounds. burns. fingernails. spikes. feathers. webs. eyes. hands. sweat. tears. feline. chubby. curvy. short. tall. normal height. muscular. piercing. tattoos. athletic. hair. fur. sleek.

𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐒 . big cats. wolves. foxes. eagles. owls. falcons. hawks. swans. snakes. turtles. crocodiles. ducks. bugs. spiders. birds. whales. dolphins. fish. sharks. horses. cats. dogs. bunnies. penguins. deer. crows. ravens. mice. lizards. werewolves. unicorns. pegasus. dragons. monkeys. bats.

𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐄𝐒 . music. art. water colours. gardening. smithing. sculpting. painting. sketching. fighting. writing. composing. cooking. baking. sewing. training. dancing. acting. singing. martial arts. self-defense. electronics. technology. cameras. video cameras. computer. phone. movies. theater. libraries. books. magazines. cds. records. vinyls. cassettes. piano. strings. violin. guitar. electronic guitar. bass guitar. harmonica. harp. woodwinds. brass. flute. bells. exploring. playing cards. poker chips. chess. dice. motorcycle riding. eating. sleeping. climbing. running. jogging. parkour. studying.

𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄 . lingerie. armour. cape. dress. tunic. vest. shirt. boots. ankle boots. heels. leggings. trousers. jeans. skirt. jewellery. earrings. necklace. bracelet. ring. pendant. hat. beanie hat. crown. circlet. helmet. scarf. brocade. cloaks. corsets. doublet. chest plate. gorget. bracers. belt. sash. coat. jacket. hood. gloves. socks. masks. mittens. cowls. braces. watches. glasses. sun glasses. straw hat. visor. eye contacts. makeup. ribbons. hoodie. sweater. converses. tennis shoes. boxers. briefs. boxer briefs. shorts. cargo. cropped pants. crop top. cuffed pants. overalls.

stolen from @lightfallls !!

tagging: ALL OF YA. I AM LAZY

#* tag game || hide & seek

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touchofdawn · 2 years

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WHAT ARE YOUR MUSES AESTHETICS?

BOLD any that applies to your muse and italicize any that kind of applies to your muse. feel free to add to the list.

𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 . fire. ice. water. air. earth. rain. snow. wind. moon. stars. sun. heat. cold. steam. frost. lightning. sunlight. moonlight. dawn. dusk. twilight. midnight. dewdrops. darkness. shadows. nature. aether. quintessence. blood. life. death.

𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄 . lingerie. armor. cape. dress. tunic. vest. shirt. boots. ankle boots. heels. leggings. trousers. jeans. skirt. jewelry. earrings. necklace. bracelet. ring. pendant. hat. beanie hat. crown. circlet. helmet. scarf. brocade. cloaks. corsets. doublet. chest plate. gorget. bracers. belt. sash. coat. jacket. hood. gloves. socks. masks. mittens. cowls. braces. watches. glasses. sunglasses. straw hat. visor. eye contacts. makeup. ribbons. hoodie. sweater. converse. tennis shoes. boxers. briefs. boxer briefs. shorts. cargo. cropped pants. crop top. cuffed pants. overalls.

#;aesthetic #;about

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marshmallowprotection · 2 years

Note

Im alive again, but I never stopped thinking abt Saeran 💃💃💃💃

Welcome back! Saeran never leaves you no matter how far you go from his side. He's always there, lingering there behind you like the angel he is, watching over you with a smile on his face. He knows you will be okay on your own but he likes to be there just in case you need a reminder that you're worthy of love.

#daisies n dewdrops #ask #mod kait #saeran choi

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lunarmessenger · 4 years

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im strawberry now :0 cool

~🍓

HI WOW I LOVE YOUR PROFILE PIC OMG

#so cute omg #wowowowowowiw #ask luna #daisies-n-dewdrops #hi bby

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currentlyprocrastinating · 3 years

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sunlight honey candy bunny puppy

sunlight: we're mutuals and I love you.

honey: you seem nice!

candy: you're sweet!

bunny: I like your blog!

puppy: I would like to talk to you.

🥺 GIRL-- ur too sweet!! /// hhn g ♡♡

U- u can talk to me whenever hehe ^-^

[ask list]

#ugh all u ppl are too good #too kind #so sweet 🥺💕#417 says stuff #daisies-n-dewdrops #ask game

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biffhofosho · 2 years

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Succumbing to Sybaris | Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Word Count: 7.2k

A/N: Dark themes in this chapter, kids. Our poor girl has a lot to come to terms with. A belated happy birthday to my mans, Hyungwon. In celebration, we’ll be enjoying two chapters of CHW content.

Cvr | Tr | Pr | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16| 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | Ep

It was raining, not in the satisfying, spa music kind of way, but a fuzzy mist that clung to every hair like dewdrops and made Amber crave a hot shower. The swollen bellies of leaden clouds squashed the heads of Mt. St. Helens and Mt. Hood as if daring them to pierce a hole and unload their misery.

Amber and Shownu stood on the front porch of his place, staring toward the city with the pervasive awkwardness of a morning after relationship-altering sex. All she wanted to do was crawl back into bed and let the covers swallow her up, but there was no time for it.

Finally, Shownu broke the silence with a grunt as he nudged his chin toward his car. He was halfway down the front steps when he noticed his partner wasn’t following him. “Coming?”

“We shouldn’t ride in together,” Amber reminded him, and Shownu nodded slowly.

“Of course. I’ll see you at the precinct?”

“I’ll be a few minutes behind.”

Even though she had meant it, it felt like a goodbye. The pair exchanged a long glance before Shownu drove off with a short wave. The domesticity in it buoyed her heart as much as it weighed it down.

The moment he was out of sight, Amber felt strangely numb. Maybe it was the weather, maybe it was the resonance of Kai’s promise, or maybe it was something bigger than all of it. Whatever the reason, when her body moved, it didn’t feel like her own. She drove to the end of the block to a hole-in-the-wall coffee joint in the hopes of feeling something. A jolt of espresso didn’t rouse her, but the chocolate-frosted chocolate chunk brownie sure did.

“Perks of being a grownup, huh?” the cashier said as she bagged the treat. “Cake for breakfast.”

Amber mustered an uncomfortable smile and headed back to her car to eat in the welcome silence. She closed her eyes and listened to the morning traffic over the pathetic hiss of rain. If she weren’t so afraid of falling asleep and right back into Kai’s grip, she might have. The world was simple in here, and the urge to drive away from it all overwhelmed her for a moment.

Maybe Hyungwon and his brothers were right: maybe she should just disappear. If Kai didn’t know where to find her, maybe he couldn’t find her in her dreams either. He’d stop taking women, she had no doubt of that, but she also knew if she actually fled, the Portland PB would find a stack of severed bodies, Daisy on top, just like a cherry. No, Kai knew what he was doing. He was leveraging his offer, and he knew full-well that offer was too steep to decline.

Instead, Amber radioed the station before heading downtown. Her deadline was fast approaching, and she had loose ends to tie up.

By the time she got to Pioneer Square, the mist had stopped though the clouds were still as somber as ever. She found Lucas exactly where she had months ago, seated on the bottom step, staring just as blankly at the fountain as he had that fateful day. He looked ragged. His eyes were sunken and his shoulders were hunched and his usually warm skin looked bleached. Amber’s heart ached.

She joined him on the bottom step, but he didn’t lift his head as he said, “Good morning, Spiros.”

“Good morning, sir.”

His ears perked at the ‘sir’. Amber wasn’t often formal, so the mood deepened. Keeping her stilted formality, he said, “How’s Detective Nam?”

“Recovering.”

“You know,” the captain said, “he wouldn’t talk to anyone about what happened. Wouldn’t even give me a statement. Outright told me to leave.”

“Huh,” she said noncommittally.

“I heard he let you in though.” At least Lucas didn’t sound hurt, more expectant.

“Yeah.”

A long pause filled the space before he said, “Well?”

“He didn’t see who attacked him,” Amber answered quickly.

“Why the hell wouldn’t he give a statement then?”

“I’m sure he will as soon as he feels up to it. Eric went through a lot.”

“Which is why he should tell us as much as he can as soon as he can so we can catch the son-of-a-bitch.”

“And I’m sure he will,” she interrupted.

Lucas studied her for a long moment, and she could see his inner debate in those clear brown eyes. Eventually, his more patient side won out, and he returned his gaze to the fountain. “How are you handling everything?”

“Don’t think I am,” she admitted. “Haven’t had a chance.”

“Where have you been staying?” he asked. With his distracted gaze, Lucas had covered his fishing expedition well, but Amber had spent too many years at his side to miss his true question. But it didn’t upset her; in fact, it made her feel safe again. He had promised he would always care about her, and he still did.

But he wouldn’t if he knew what she’d done. He wouldn’t if he knew how much she wished she could keep doing it. Which was why she’d called him here. She had to save Lucas from her once and for all, and this was the place she could cut most cleanly.

“Captain Wong,” she said slowly, and his brow slackened immediately.

He hunched over, elbows on his knees and eyes blank as new slates. “Why are we here, Amber?”

His voice was so hollow, the question seemed to echo inside itself.

The detective took a deep breath, willing her brain to overrule her heart as her hand slipped to her waistband.

“It seemed fitting,” she said as she stared at the fountain now, too. It looked exactly as it did the day she’d called off their engagement. “Another end, I guess.”

She unclipped her badge, the clamp thundering like a grenade in the basin of the amphitheater. She rested it on the step beside his hip. Her gun followed a moment later, along with the unloaded magazine, but Lucas made no move toward either. He seemed frozen.

“Captain Wong,” Amber said as firmly as she could, “I’m tendering my resignation effective immediately. Thank you for your leadership and friendship all these years. It has been my greatest pleasure working for you and the Portland Police Bureau. I will always treasure the time—”

In the softest of voices, Lucas said, “Don’t.”

Amber looked at the man now ramrod straight on the step. The captain still stared off into the distance, but she knew he was aware of every breath she took and every flinch she made.

“What?”

“Don’t,” he insisted. “If you need time off, just take it. I know you��re going through a lot right now—”

She sighed. “I don’t need time off. That’s not what this is about.”

“Don't do this, don't quit. I'll put in for a transfer. If this is because of what I said at your house, I'll—”

“It's not because of you, Luke. It's because of me. I don't deserve that badge or your love anymore. I wish I did—god, do I wish I did—but that’s not what this is about.” Everything she’d rehearsed on her drive here evaporated, and Amber was left to fumble with the uncomfortable, inelegant truth. “At some point, fuck, I don’t know when, I lost my way, and I can’t find it back. Too much has happened. Too much has changed—especially me. I’m not the same girl you met on the street all those years ago, and I can’t go back to being her.”

“Amber—” Lucas reached for her, but she jerked her hand back.

“Please accept my resignation, Captain. Please,” she begged, her eyes wet and her chin heavy as she nudged it at the tarnished badge.

Lucas looked from his detective’s white flag to her resolute face. He’d look less bewildered the day she’d called off their engagement, but she should have expected that. Since the day they’d found Delphine’s body, Amber’s life had only pointed in one direction—toward the police force. It was the one thing that had never changed. It was the one thing they’d all assumed would never change. Until today.

“Can’t we talk about this first?” the captain whispered.

“I’ve already made up my mind. This is what’s best for the Bureau, sir. Trust me.”

“What about Daisy and the other missing?” he pressed. “You’re just abandoning them?”

Amber frowned. “That’s not what this is. I can’t explain it to you, but this is how I save them. You have to trust that.”

This time, Lucas managed to grab her wrist, and he tugged her back down a step. “Why? Why can’t you explain it to me?”

“Because it’s better for you if you don’t know.”

“Amber,” he continued in a grave voice. “Amber, what are you going to do?”

Her heart thrashed against her ribs until her whole chest ached.

“Nothing that can come back on the Bureau.” She put a few more steps between her badge and herself in case she caved to her knee-jerk reaction to take it back. “I’ve got some loose ends to tie up, and then I’m going to figure out my purpose in life.”

Lucas shook his head firmly. “No, I don’t like that. You’re going after this new guy Kai, aren’t you?”

So the news had made its way back to the captain’s office... Amber shouldn’t have been surprised—it was the highest profile case in Portland’s recent memory—but now that she truly understood the breadth of Kai’s dark deeds, she needed to keep Lucas as far away as possible.

“I’m really not, sir,” she insisted.

“Stop calling me sir!” he shouted, garnering a few looks from other parkgoers. The detective cringed, but the captain didn’t seem to notice. “If you’re going to quit on me, Amber, at least give me the dignity of my name.”

Her teeth set on edge as her body responded automatically to his familiar spark, but she pushed it down as best she could. She needed a clean exit, one that didn’t betray the truth.

“Lucas, please don’t make this any harder than it is. I’m doing the right thing here, and there’s nothing you can say that will change my mind.”

His brows sharpened into a V. “What about Delphine, huh? You’re just going to let her case go unsolved?”

“There are other ways I can honor my sister’s life,” Amber replied darkly, and Lucas narrowed his eyes.

“Tell me what you’re about to do!”

“I don’t know!” she shouted, and then softer: “I don’t know. All I know is that I won’t burden the Bureau anymore. It’s not the right thing to do.”

“The right thing would be to stick it out and face whatever consequences you’re expecting.”

“That’s not fair to you or anyone else.”

“Oh, fuck this martyr shit, Amber,” Lucas snapped. “What’s not fair is you leaving your team—your family—to clean up your messes.”

“Maybe, but there’s a difference between cleaning up a desk and a whole goddamn dump. You can’t change my mind on this, Lucas. It’s the right thing to do.”

“So that’s it?” he hissed. “You’ve used this place and everyone in it all you’ve needed to, so now you’re throwing it away?”

As cold as she could muster, Amber answered, “Yes.”

The captain let out a bitter snort. Only the slosh of the fountain and the shuffle of businesspeople on their way to work filled the space between them.

Finally, Lucas picked up the gun and badge, twisting them this way and that. When he spoke again, it was flat and sharper than a blade. “It was always going to end like this, wasn’t it?”

“I don’t know,” she replied honestly.

“Fine. If that’s the way you want to play this, I’ll have Linda process your exit paperwork, but you need to handle the transition for any open cases. And you need to be the one to break the news to Detective Nam. Clean up one of your own messes for a change.”

“Understood, Captain.”

Amber took a few more steps up before Lucas’s voice caught her one last time. It was harder than granite and equally as alive. “And do us all one favor, Spiros.”

“Sir?”

“Don’t ever come back.”

Wind funneled through the square, and despite the oppressive humidity, a chill settled into Amber’s bones.

This was how it had to be. Burning bridges were necessary, yet she had never heard anything crueler in her life. In the span of four words, she realized she’d done exactly what Hyungwon and all his brothers had been doing for her: she’d locked out people she claimed to care about in the foolhardy hope that she could keep them safe.

“Thank you, Luke. For everything,” Amber managed before she left the park and the rest of her life in her rearview mirror.

By the time Amber pulled over her little Caprice, ancient mountains shrouded the valley except for a few wily bends in the quiet two-lane highway. Walls of birch and spruce trees crowded asphalt lips while ferns tufted the forest floor, and their shadows stretched long and spindly like prison bars around her.

At some point in the afternoon, the Pacific winds had ushered out the clouds to make way for the tangerine sunset. Under a shawl of sunshine, for the first time all day, Amber felt warm.

She hadn’t been out of the car except to refuel, but she could no longer resist. She got out with a cat stretch and sat on the hood, eyes closed, head-on to the west. Golden light kissed her cheeks, and even the inside of her eyelids were soft peach.

Amber had been driving in circles all day through lavender farms and winery country until she’d felt she’d put enough miles between her and the city. It wasn’t that she was running away—there was no point—but driving helped clear her mind until eventually the only thing she wanted was to chase the elusive yellow sun. She’d followed its descent, and the next thing she knew, she was back in the woods.

The air was freer here than in Forest Park. The humidity had cleared out, leaving the scent of pine and earth in its wake. Amber considered strolling into the untouched wilderness, but her legs vetoed the idea. They were itchy to move again but not for a hike.

Reluctantly, she climbed back into the driver’s seat and abandoned the evening sun for the call of the road again. There was more traffic now, but it was nothing compared to the city—commuters heading home one direction and daytrippers returning from the coast the other. The rhythm was soothing and familiar, and it meshed perfectly with Dolores O'Riordan’s keening yodel on the stereo.

Amber ran out of road just as the sun kissed the lip of the sea. She pulled into an empty parking lot at the edge of the little resort town of Seaside and walked out to greet the oncoming night. She tossed her shoes into the passenger seat and headed out toward the dunes. Far down the beach, a few couples walked along the water line hand-in-hand or sat out on hotel balconies to watch the sun set, but this far down the promenade, she had the world to herself.

The sand was cold beneath her toes, and Amber wiggled them in deeper to find the dampness left after the day’s rain. Above her, wispy bronze clouds striped a marigold sky, and beneath it, the tides were ebbing, leaving a shimmering ribbon of sand creased only by the lap of the gentle waves. The little black speck of a tanker tugged along the horizon while the rounded cliff-face of Tillamook Head bookended the beach like the bow of a ship forever anchored into the volatile face of the sea. But for tonight, at least, the Pacific was as smooth as glass, the light breeze was soft and warm, and the world was simple again.

Amber waited at the top of the beach until orange liquefied into gold and finally flared pink on rose petal clouds.

“I ran out of real estate,” she said to the ocean as well as the man now at the crest of the dune behind her.

She knew who it was without a sound between them.

Like a dream or a long-forgotten memory, Hyungwon materialized beside her.

Together, they looked out at the indigo sea. Lazy swells melted into the heaving horizon, the dying breaths of daylight terminating in midnight foam.

“Here I am at the end of the world, and there’s no escape,” Amber continued, but Hyungwon remained silent. She sighed. “I know everything.”

“I heard,” he replied. “Hyunwoo also told me you didn’t go to work today, that you’d quit.”

“News travels fast. So what other secrets do you and your brothers have for me? You put a tracker on my car?”

“Why would I? I knew you’d be here.”

Amber let out a light laugh. “Sure you did.”

“It’s your perfect day,” he reminded.

Just like that, Amber remembered the chat that had started everything. It hadn’t even occurred to her that she had actually followed through with what she’d thought at the time had been a nonsense answer. With a frown, she replied, “Today’s been anything but perfect.”

“Maybe. You weren’t thinking of it like that though, were you? You were thinking of it as your last day.”

Amber glanced at Hyungwon from the safety of her periphery. Fingers of salt and sand feathered his wispy bangs and wrinkled the fabric of his dress shirt. He might have stood on this beach for centuries, always looking this handsome no matter what forces the world could batter against him.

There was no way he could know about her dream, but it felt like he did. It never failed to unsettle her the way Hyungwon seemed to live inside her head.

“You don’t know what I was thinking,” she asserted.

He looked at her at last, and even though she refused to face him head-on, she felt his full power. “Tell me what happened.”

“You have your secrets,” she said, “I have mine.”

Amber caught the twitch of a scowl flutter across his face, but it faded as quickly as the next wave.

“You don’t sound like yourself,” Hyungwon said softly.

“Turns out maybe I never even knew myself, so how am I supposed to sound? Like the stubborn, pushy detective who refuses to give up?”

“That’s who you are.”

“That’s who I was,” she snapped. “Everything changes. Besides, I’m not supposed to fight it, am I? I never was.”

“Can anyone fight destiny?” Hyungwon echoed.

“You tried.”

“Kai is not your destiny.”

Amber shook her head in disbelief. “So you all keep saying. I guess that just leaves you and your brothers, huh?”

He looked at her with eyes of golden silk and a mouth of clear purpose but said nothing. The sea gobbled up the last of the sun’s rays and, with it, the full breadth of Hyungwon’s beauty.

“What am I supposed to do now?” she whispered, and it was nearly spirited away on the wind, but the man beside her still caught it.

��Stay with us.”

“You know that won’t make a difference.”

He turned to face her, every ounce of his power funneling onto her. “It makes a difference to us.”

“Well, it doesn’t make a difference to him,” Amber spat and wished it was right into Kai’s face. “You know, Hyunwoo told me that a vampire can’t enter your dreams unless he’s invited in, so tell me why Kai is in mine then? What does that say about me?”

Hyungwon’s brow furrowed, but his voice was as confident as ever. “It says you want answers, and you’re willing to do anything for them.”

Suddenly, Amber burst into laughter, and when she finally caught her breath, she managed, “It’s a nice thought.”

“I’m serious.”

“When are you not?” she added, sober again.

“We’re in your dreams, too.”

She laughed again, this time bitterly. “Yeah, so maybe I’m looking for the same thing from him I’ve already gotten from your brothers. I’m a taker, remember?”

Hyungwon shook his head adamantly. “Amber—”

“That girl from the club,” the detective interjected, “did you sleep with her?”

A stiff breeze whistled across the water as it flung grains of sand around her ankles. Hyungwon didn’t answer at first, but at last he said, “Why do you ask?”

Amber wished he hadn’t taken so long to answer. Her throat felt scratchy, and now her jaw twitched. “You said blood was a trade. I just figured that was part of the exchange.”

She could feel his eyes burrowing into the side of her face, but she didn’t look at him or maybe she simply couldn’t.

“No,” he said as he watched the detective, “I didn’t.”

“What did she ask for then?”

“Nothing she could have.”

The detective chewed her lip for a moment before she asked, “Then what did you give her?”

“I took her worst memory and made her forget it.”

Hyungwon’s answer churned in Amber’s chest.

“I wish you could do the same for me,” she said.

“So do I.”

“Chae?”

“Yes?”

She swallowed hard. Questions had always come so easily to her, but now that she’d met Hyungwon and his brothers, for the first time, there were things she was afraid to know. Maybe if she didn’t ask, it would change reality, but then ignorance seemed equally as terrifying.

In spite of the ice crystallizing in her stomach, Amber asked, “Why were you online that night?”

With one question, they were back in front of the cool glow of their monitors, lines of flirtatious dialogue ticking back and forth despite all the backspacing they had done to craft the most tempting lures. Amber could never have imagined that she would be the one forever hooked.

As Amber waited for his answer, she mustered every ounce of indifference she could to keep from looking at him with begging eyes. Somehow she knew that whatever he said next would change everything; it was just a matter of direction.

Hyungwon turned to her, eyes wide and bright in the darkness. “I was looking for the one. I was looking for you.”

The smell of the sand and the sea wafted between them and, underneath, a hint of his burnt caramel drizzling over her honey—a little bitterness between all that sweetness.

“Now you sound like Kai and his stupid riddle,” Amber chided. “The one with a capital O.”

In a flash, Hyungwon was in front of her, his hands clasping her shoulders. “I will never, ever let him have you.”

“You and your pretty words, Chae.”

“The only thing I want—” he started.

“Well, all I want is a swim. It’s why I came here, isn’t it, you know me so well…” she said bitterly.

“I do, Amber.”

Something inside her shifted like the sands under her feet. She felt like she was sinking, but she wasn’t scared. She dug her toes in deeper.

Amber pulled out her ponytail holder and let her hair crash like the waves against her shoulders. She stared up at Hyungwon’s dark eyes, that golden predatory flash glinting in their depths, and felt the urge to offer her neck to him.

He stepped closer until his lips were a breath away from her forehead. If his lungs were anything other than ornament, she would have welcomed the warmth of his breath on her brow. He looked down at her mouth and then to her throat before he settled on her denim jacket. He pushed it back one shoulder at a time until it fell onto the sand. Amber felt his cool fingers at the hem of her tank before he inched it up her waist. The pads of his fingers glossed over each rib until finally her shirt was gone, too. Hyungwon held her gaze as he waited, but her hands had made a decision for her. She undid her bra and held it against her chest before it, too, fell away.

Warm, damp air tickled her bare skin, but it was the gathering anticipation that had her every atom straining toward the man in front of her. Tentatively, one of his fingers reached for her, stopping just above the hill of her breast. Amber studied his fascinated gaze as he took in the breadth of her exposed skin. His eyes flicked up to hers, and whatever Hyungwon found in their depths gave him the courage to gloss his fingertip along her skin. He followed the curve of her breast to its soft underside, and she shivered. His touch was a slow brand that left a sting of emptiness in its wake.

Amber wanted to cry or maybe cry out, but she swallowed both urges as she waited to see what Hyungwon would do next. That searing finger scudded across her nipple, which sent a urgent yearning between her legs. Her flesh perked sharply, and he circled the aching hill before he pulled back to her whimper.

Her heart was racing and her chest hurt, but whatever bridge Hyungwon had built between them wobbled and collapsed with each passing second that he didn’t come back. Instead, he slipped off his own shirt and then his pants and turned toward the sea as he waited for her.

With shaking hands, Amber undid her jeans and emerged into the night her truest self. Out of the corner of her eye, she made out Hyungwon’s slim, naked form, but for some reason, she was too afraid to stare. The ghosts of his words from the day they’d met resurrected in her mind.

We’re pulled to each other, and that pull’s inescapable. We’ll always come back to each other because it’s the only thing that feels right.

With every fiber of her being, Amber had fought the intensity that bound the two of them. She’d cursed, she’d clawed, she’d run. No matter what she’d done to put distance between them, she’d always ended up by Hyungwon’s side.

Now, his open hand glowed in the moonlight.

“Shall we?” he asked.

Trembling, her fingers ventured forward and closed the circuit to unite them again. Little sparks kicked up in her chest, igniting brushfires in every corner of her body. Together, they walked down the long expanse of low tide.

The ocean greeted them with a burst of ice in their toes, but Amber was the only one to gasp. The further they walked, the colder it got, but she steeled herself against each gentle onslaught. When the water was at her knees, she closed her eyes and pitched forward.

The cold knocked the breath from her lungs, and everything inside her retreated into a ball until it felt like all her warmth was huddled in her chest. Amber pushed her limbs forward into a freestyle swim, and gradually, the ice in the water tempered and her shivers subsided to the rhythm of her stroke.

Hyungwon paddled beside her with all the patience of a father tolerating a child’s whims. The cold didn’t affect him and neither did the exercise, but he matched his companion stroke for stroke until at last the lights of the town dwindled to pinpricks behind them.

Amber rolled onto her back, her lungs heaving and her limbs leaden, and floated on the undulating belly of the sea. She wasn’t afraid of what was below her, only who was beside her. Hyungwon followed suit and faced the sky, his hand stirring the surface beside her as a clear reminder of how the current was gently nudging them together.

Blackness of every depth and shade engulfed them. The blunt face of Tillamook Head boxed them in from the right while the full breadth of the Pacific unfurled to the left. Above them, the bruised tentacle of the Milky Way stretched from horizon to horizon.

“Is it like you imagined?” Hyungwon asked at last.

“Yeah,” she said, but it was a lie.

A brilliant banner of white festooned the sky for a split second, and Amber’s heart leapt.

“Make a wish,” she shouted as she closed her eyes and made hers.

“What?”

She lifted her head from the water long enough to gape at the man floating beside her. “Four hundred years old, and you’ve never made a wish on a shooting star before?”

“Not that I remember,” Hyungwon said with the vaguest hint of embarrassment.

“Wow, you’re really something, aren’t you, Chae? You make a wish, and then you keep it a secret or it won’t come true. Got it?”

“Okay.”

He sounded so uncomfortable that Amber had to smile. If nothing else, today would have one good memory sandwiched in it.

And all at once, Kai’s dark promise loomed larger than the Milky Way. The cold inside her intensified, but it had nothing to do with the bracing currents.

Amber wiped the saltwater from her lips and whispered, “What was she like?”

“The girl at the club?” Hyungwon asked. “I don’t remember.”

“No, not her. My sister. What was she like when you met her?”

Even through the slosh of the swells, Amber felt him tense.

“You know I didn’t really have a chance to know her…”

“Please, Chae? I need to know.”

“Bold,” he answered immediately. “Fearless. She walked right out of that pharmacy and asked to bum a cigarette. She said she’d left her ID at home.”

Amber smiled. That was her sister no doubt, a rule-breaker and a playgirl. Of the two of them, Delphine had always been the daring one, the one who attracted adventure almost as easily as the boys. She knew how to push every boundary and could get away with it with one sunshine-bright laugh.

“I liked her immediately,” Hyungwon continued. “She reminds me of you.”

“No,” Amber corrected. “I remind you of her. Once Delphine was gone, I had no choice but to pick up where she left off. I couldn’t let her legacy die with her. I wouldn’t be the person I am if it hadn’t been for her.”

Amber could feel Hyungwon’s apology before it left his lips, but she waved it off. She knew he meant it; it just didn’t matter right now. For once, other things weighed heavier on her mind.

She stared up at the purple-white tapestry of one of the few things older than the man who floated beside her.

“What if I get hypothermia and drown?” Amber asked, her voice almost lost in the water. “I can already feel it settling in my muscles and slowing down my heart. Can you hear that over the waves?”

“Yes,” Hyungwon confessed. “I can always hear your heart.”

She hummed. “I could die out here and you'll go on forever.”

“That assumes I would let you die.”

“You wouldn’t have a choice,” she argued. “You have no warmth or breath to bring me back to life.”

“I don’t like this, Amber. Stop talking like that.”

She let out a long, slow breath before a lap of seawater puddled in her mouth and she spat it out. “Maybe this is what it means to give in.”

“No,” Hyungwon replied, his voice as distant as the stars, “that’s giving up. I won’t let you.”

A tear slipped from her eye and joined the ocean. Amber wasn’t even sure why she was crying, but she felt more tears pool as the stars blurred. “Maybe it’s better than admitting that I can’t live my life without you.”

Hyungwon rolled his head toward her, and despite the blackness of his gaze, his eyes reflected the starlight. “Then live it with us. Be ours. Be mine.”

His fingers glossed over hers just under the surface. He was as cold as the water, as lifeless as the waves. Still, Amber opened her hand to him, and he slid in and held her tight.

Above her, the Milky Way stretched like taffy beyond the mountains. They floated under its majesty until her skin pruned and her limbs grew heavy, until the last of her warmth clustered lonely in her heart.

“It’s time to go back,” Hyungwon said as he tugged Amber upright. They bobbed in the swells, treading water and staring at each other.

“Not yet,” she insisted.

He pulled her close, their legs falling into a rhythm between each other’s as they floated. His other hand reached for her cheek and thumbed a wet arc across its plane. “Your teeth are chattering and your heart is whispering. We’re going in.”

Amber didn’t respond, but the moment he started swimming for shore, she followed. He could have lapped her twenty times before she would ever reach the beach, but instead, he kept pace beside her, watching her face and the way the starlight dappled it.

At last, her feet grazed the shallows, but Amber swam as far as she could before her belly scraped the sand bed. She rose on jelly legs like a newborn foal and stumbled immediately into Hyungwon’s arms.

“I’ve got you,” he said, slipping his arm under hers until her thighs stopped trembling and her knees straightened. He could have carried her much more easily, but Amber was glad he let her find her own strength.

Together, they walked up to the edge of the breakers and let the foam surge around their ankles.

“I’ll get your clothes,” Hyungwon offered, but Amber refused.

“Not yet. Not yet.”

Though every muscle in her body complained, she forced herself tall and full into the sea breeze. Against her sodden limbs, it cut and froze, but Amber closed her eyes and breathed deeply.

The sky was vast and the mountains unmoving and the sea fathomless, and she was small and unimportant, but there was peace in that. She’d struggled so hard for so long, but it was just like fighting the ocean—in the end, there was no winning against such insurmountable obstacles. There was only succumbing.

“Is this what it’s like to be you?” she wondered, studying the ice blue cast to her fingers. “I’m so cold, so dead inside.”

“Stop this,” Hyungwon ordered and forced a towel around her shoulders, but Amber shoved back and stared angrily at him.

“You stop this. You started it—all of it, Hyungwon. I can’t get you out of my head,” she wailed, clutching her temples. Softer now, she cried, “I can’t get you out of my heart. And I hate it, I hate it so much. What have you done to me?”

With his free hand, he caressed her cheek, wet both from salt and tears. He pushed a sodden tendril behind her ear before his hand drifted to her neck, his thumb stroking her languid pulse. Their eyes locked and their connection sparked anew. A little gasp slipped through Amber’s lips, and it was all the distraction Hyungwon needed to wrap her in the towel.

He guided her back toward the foot of the dunes and said, “Let’s get you warm.”

“And how are you going to warm me up, huh? You’re undead,” she grumbled.

“Don’t be a jerk, Amber,” Hyungwon reprimanded before he vanished.

She had only a moment to regret her words before he was back like a fresh peal of thunder. He laid a blanket down on the dune, and in a dimple in the sand, he piled firewood and kindling into a neat tower.

“I should haul you in for theft,” she chided through a rattle of her teeth as she studied the stolen towel and blanket, but Hyungwon ignored her.

He knelt in the sand, still naked but unfazed by it, and lit a fire with the skill of a man who must have done it for centuries. In the low glow of the newborn flames, he shimmered. After only a few moments, the fire kicked up into a gentle crackle with the occasional hiss and pop.

Slowly but surely, warmth pervaded her extremities and the prune lines in her fingers and toes softened. Amber squeezed the towel tighter around her and wished she’d had someone warm to lean into. Beside her, Hyungwon’s hands hovered over the flames, and she wondered if he felt the heat the same way she did.

She stole several glances at him, getting bolder each time, but he refused to look back at her, and somehow, it grated on the last of her nerves.

“What?” Amber said with a frown.

“I didn’t say anything,” Hyungwon answered.

“You’re clearly angry about something.”

“So what if I am? You don’t listen to me anyway.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Why should I? Because you’re a 400-year-old vampire?”

“No, because I care about you. Because I care what happens to you.”

Of all the things he could have said, Amber never expected that. Her lips felt numb, either from the cold or his confession, she couldn’t tell.

This time, Hyungwon filled the silence. “You’re too reckless with your life.”

“I’m a police officer,” she whispered. “It’s what we do.”

At last, he turned to her, eyes narrow and cheeks tight. “Really? You all risk drowning in the ocean?”

“That’s not—that wasn’t what I was trying to do.”

“What were you trying to do then?”

“I don’t know!” she shouted. “I don’t know…”

Together, they looked out at the open water, and it was like they were right back in it. Amber felt its chill deep in her bones and heavy in her legs. She felt like she could sink at any moment all over again.

Hyungwon let out a slow breath. “You were testing me… Whether I could really save you or not.”

Amber didn’t reply, but she didn’t need to. Even if she hadn’t realized it before, she realized now the vampire was right. It was another thing she’d picked up from Delphine—pushing boundaries way too far.

His fists clenched as the flames danced across the plains of his skin. Eventually, they loosened, and Hyungwon seemed to crumple with them. “You were right, you know. If you had drowned, I couldn’t have brought you back, at least not as you are now—perfect and warm and human.”

Amber hunkered down, too, head on her knees and eyes on the fire. When she’d asked it, her heart had been begging for him to prove her wrong, and when he had, hope had blazed within her. But he’d lied—or maybe it wasn’t a lie so much as wishful thinking, but did that distinction matter? Now, they both knew the truth.

“If you can’t save me from drowning, how could you possibly save me from Kai?” she asked. The flames batted around her words like a cat idling with a yarn ball, and the harder Amber stared into them, the keener they burned.

“All we need is a little more time,” Hyungwon insisted.

“Well, you don’t have it!”

He stared at her, sumptuous lips parted and dark eyes alight. “What does that mean?”

“Exactly what you think it means,” Amber replied obstinately.

“How do you know that? Has Kai come after you? Has he threatened you?” Hyungwon punched the sand, sending grit flying into the fire to a messy hiss.

“It doesn’t matter, Hyungwon. You just told me you can’t save me.”

“That’s not what I meant!” he protested. “It’s not the same thing, and you know it. You don’t know what I can do—what I will do for you. If you can just find a way to trust me, my brothers and I will find a way to get rid of Kai. I promise you that.”

“Trust. Promise. More pretty words. You remember how we met, right? You remember my sister? How am I supposed to do any of those things?”

There was a deep wound in his baritone as Hyungwon said, “You could if you wanted to, which I guess is my answer.”

Their hands were inches apart and yet there was a whole ocean between them again.

Amber looked up at the sky and asked, “What was your wish?”

“I thought you said not to tell?” he grumbled.

“Yeah, I did, but fuck the rules. You know I’m not good at following them.”

Amber had hoped the self-flagellation would have softened the mood, but the ice in Hyungwon’s eyes didn’t thaw.

“I wished that I had never asked to meet you,” said the vampire. Beside him, the detective stared at the dark heart of the sea, her chest feeling like an open wound as he continued, “You wouldn’t be here, bad things wouldn’t have happened to the people you care about, and I wouldn’t have to worry about losing the one thing I’ve searched for since the day I became this.”

Amber studied his profile galvanized by fire, but Hyungwon may as well have been on the other side of the Pacific.

“Why did you ask to meet me?” she wondered.

“Because you were trying so hard to be someone I knew you were not. I know what that’s like.”

“You don’t know me, Hyungwon.”

“As you insist,” he sighed. “What did you wish for?”

With a light laugh, she said, “That I’d never agreed to meet you.”

His eyes drifted back to the fire. A log popped, sending crimson fireworks into the sky.

Amber let out a shaky breath and faced the man so close and yet so far from her. “I could hate you if I’d never met you.”

At once, his eyes lashed to hers as he leaned forward, almost as though he were listening to her heart and looking for the lie within it.

“But I'm changing my wish,” she continued. “I wish you would just let me go.”

“Forget it because I won't.”

“I'm scared,” Amber blurted and immediately regretted it. She felt more naked now than she did under the towel.

“Of Kai?”

“Of Kai and you.”

“Amber, I would never hurt you,” Hyungwon reassured. He reached for her, but she jerked back.

“You already have, don't you get it? You’re responsible for taking one of the most important people in my life from me, and I don't hate you. I don’t hate you. That's what I'm scared of.”

The towel fell from her shoulders, and her skin warmed in the firelight. His gaze skimmed over her huddled frame for just a second before it was snared once again by the net of her eyes.

“You don’t know…” Hyungwon said as his hand caressed her cheek at last. His touch was warm from the fire, and it jumpstarted Amber’s heart.

“What?” she breathed.

“How precious you are to me,” he finished as he leaned forward and kissed the corner of her kaleidoscope eye. “You’ll never know.”

With trembling hands, Amber held his face and stroked his bottom lip with her thumb. Water dripped down his chin, and sand peppered his cheeks. Her heart ached under the weight of his beauty.

“You’re tearing me apart, Hyungwon,” she whispered, a tear pricking her eye. “What am I supposed to do?”

He kissed her thumb, and Amber shivered. His brown eyes pleaded with her as his hands traced her naked waist, feather-light and innocent even if those lips were anything but.

“Love me, too,” he begged. “Please.”

#monsta x smut #novel #succumbing to sybaris #original character #shownu #wonho #minhyuk #kihyun #hyungwon #jooheon #changkyun #lucas #nct #eric nam #Detective AU #vampire au #enemies to lovers #reverse harem #WE GO HARD YO

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stcllariis-a · 2 years

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WHAT ARE YOUR MUSES AESTHETICS?

REPOST! DON’T REBLOG.

BOLD any that applies to your muse and italicize any that kind of applies to your muse. feel free to add to the list.

Tagged by: @monocerosaquae

Tagging: @hellsholyground ; @kittenstm // @chongyuniisms // @mxmoria // @frostfeathered // @ YOU

#⋙ 𝕗𝕝𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕚𝕟 𝕞𝕪 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥 {headcanon}#{dash games}#⋙ 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕜𝕖𝕖𝕡𝕖𝕣 𝕚𝕤 𝕗𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕨𝕒𝕪 {ooc}

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cupsofsuga · 4 years

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𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 ━ 𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐁𝐓𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 *:·。.

{ ⚠️} WARNING - This is a yandere au, meaning the following may be triggering to some viewers. I am not trying to discriminate the boys in any way, this is for entertainment purposes. Viewer discretion is advised!!!

{ ☕️} NOTE - this is in the order of the member’s obtained! thanks for the request, daisy! also, creds for idea goes to @bangtans-apollo!!!

{ 💐} ANON ASKED - ❝ Headcanons on how the fanclub discovered each other and reacted to each other’s obsession for YN? ❞

━━━ 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐊𝐉𝐈𝐍

ah, the melancholic suffering of a lovelorn teenager

how he holds nothing but an eternity in the crevices of his heart

the serene sunlight, words dripped in saccharine, cloyed gestures

nothing hurts more than praying to whatever god truly exists that you’ll return the adoration but finding the fatal fate of no response

and that leaves jin now, seething with envy that could intimidate a pack of wolves

how dare the teacher not pair you up with your soulmate!? it’s just blasphemy!

someone gets to soak in the glitter of your presence, they get to bathe in the rain after a century in sunlight

all while he has to waste precious hours of his time with some plastic nobody

he has to waste time with bland, boring kim taehyung

he’s a dull star amongst a million planets, a saturated wasteland amongst an oasis of color

and how jin’s blood burns seeing that you flash that summer smile to someone who most certainly doesn’t deserve it

ditching the dinner date with his soulmate, jin is forced to work on this godforsaken project with the loner

if only you two had run away when you got the chance, relishing in each other’s warmth as he holds the privilege of looking into your eyes, which he finds resemble dewdrops held upon spider’s silk

that is the honeyed heaven he so badly craves to taste

and as he stumbles around taehyung’s adobe, the curiosity held within jin get’s the best of him as he stumbles into his bedroom

and oh god, what secrets did he uncover

your face, his lover’s face plastered all over the walls and ceiling

some even had his face punctured out of them, some taken without your consent, one’s that jin even took himself

and there’s that one sweater you once ranted to jin how you swore it vanished into thin air, and how he teased that ghost in your attic probably snatched it

if it was physically possible, there’d be steam seeping out of jin’s ears

he clutches his fists so tight, there would most likely be blood drawn; he clenches his teeth so tightly, he fears they might crack under the pressure

but, before jin turns tail, he then sees taehyung as fear swims in his irises

and then jin feels it,

a revelation, an act of generosity

❝ i think you could be useful… ❞

━━━ 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐆

with every breath he takes, there lies humiliation

shame, a ruthless emotion he swore he’d never live to see the depths of

the summer amongst the dark clouds, all lied on a silver platter for your supposed boyfriend to see

but there is kindness in jin’s eyes, a sliver of evil dripped with every word he speaks

and therein, we have witnessed the blooming of the “writing club,” whose only members were lovelorn kids who’ve infatuation got the best of them

with some sugar-laced words, jin had managed to maintain a room for their meetings after school, taehyung quickly ditching his art club for these fleeting moments spent with the man closest to his love

no, taehyung had never been fond of jin, but, holds undying respect for him, anyways

his heaven lies in his words, his sunlight is seen in his eyes, the fate he craves so desperately is clutched in his hands

and it’s only so long before his grip weakens, and taehyung can rob jin of his pleasures in his moment of vulnerability

but, that future must wait as it frolics in the back of taehyung’s head

he must gain the trust of your childhood best friend before he catches his infinity like a firefly in a jar

but, with that being said, taehyung doesn’t mind all the hours he spent huddled in the tree outside your house, hiding behind a canopy of leaves as he admires the dream before him

he’ll sketch your face (which he can now draw from memory) in his notepad, ethereal poetry and doodles held around your sparkling face

he’ll snap a few photos, catching the fireworks and shooting stars in the purity of the fleeting moment

to simply have the privilege to love you silently holds the light of a million stars

oh, how he loves you…

how the earth bruises your cheeks, the moon litters your skin, the stars possess your eyes and the rings of saturn held in your touch

there’s pure bliss within every heartbeat lept

and there’s only so much time before he has you all to himself

he just hopes no burden will stop him from such…

━━━ 𝐉𝐄𝐎𝐍 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐊𝐎𝐎𝐊

the student’s that litter around these halls resemble parasites

all feeding off the others, annoying them with their deafening disunity, and all trailing behind others like burdens

but, there’s always been that one, that one that stands out like a sore thumb

bland, boring kim taehyung

a boy capable of summoning enough envy and rage within jungkook to crumble planets to nothing but ashes floating throughout the galaxy

how he denies his infatuation for you with red cheeks, but anyone with eyes can see those “adorable” dimples puncture his cheeks whenever he sees you in the halls

how he isn’t burdened by the overwhelming fate of unrequited love, drowning in his jealousy when you simply look at someone else

how he stalks in class you like a hawk would to prey, probably undressing you with his eyes like the freak he is!

how he simply exists, and how it makes jungkook churn with rage

and that leaves him now, dodging students as the race out of the school, hot on the tail of his rival

he must end him before he could potentially hold your heart in his hands

that single idea makes jungkook gag…

he hears taehyung’s voice, shoving a scoff back down his throat that could potentially jeopardize his identity

there’s another voice, too, but, jungkook assumes it’s another one of those art freaks who’s also pretentious with coincidences

then there’s your name, and it would’ve sounded like it was dripped in gold if it didn’t leave the mouth of his sworn enemy

and then he hears of this writing club, and jungkook seethes

these lowlifes get to breathe in the fragrance of those fleeting moments, which is a fate jungkook whose he is well-deserving of, not them

to simply touch the crevices of your soul carved in silk for just a mere second is a privilege

and letting these cretins possess that opportunity is simply unholy

despite holding a burning hatred for the rest of the memories, for you, jungkook would drag himself through the depths of hell

he just prays that the club members don’t pray too far under his skin

he doesn’t know if he can control himself.

━━━ 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐉𝐎𝐎𝐍

oh, y/n l/n…

an angel in the purest form, a humid june afternoon

they are a touch softer than autumn’s breeze, their word’s sharper than winter’s embrace, eyes starlit like the dreamy land of springtime, their presence like the bliss of summer and the melancholic longing after it’s demise

they hold within them the entire galaxy and namjoon can’t help but stare

but, there’s another pair of eyes

and they are burning bullet wounds into his soul with a craving to mutilate him swimming in their irises

as the bell rings its tumultuous song and deadbeat kids begin to litter the halls, namjoon is suddenly shoved against the locker by no other than the modern-day jeffrey dahmer

jeon jungkook, dust amongst a field of flowers

his sadistic pleasures and his lust for blood, the holy scent of iron that smoothes out all the creases

❝ if i catch you staring at my Y/N like that again, i’ll tear you apart limb from limb. ‘got it, dipshit? ❞

he is in all means terrifying, but, is nothing but a little boy to namjoon

time has passed, a damn near million tabs are held upon the screen all containing the history of namjoon and his family’s wealth

jin, who had been reported the incident by a fuming jungkook had found an opportunity in the depths of his teenage angst

he’ll feed into namjoon’s desire to touch you across hundreds of separating years

he’ll pray into his craving to kiss you as the naked moon sets for the final time

he’ll reach into his heart and use namjoon for his benefit

and how the rest of the members all fed off of his wealth like parasites

anything their little heart desired, they’d hold in their possession

as much as namjoon longs to deny them pleasure, he had been threatened to lose his place in the club and every inkling of access he has to you if he dared disobey

and namjoon would rather die than lose his love to the eternal night

the strange and enigmatic masterpiece, the ancient moon across a sea of stars

his violet lover has been sawed through by nostalgia, and his infatuation glows harder than a summer sunset

although jin’s intentions have a mile or two to run before they stab him in the back, namjoon still has a clear vision of his goal

and there shall be no burden before he meets his longed fate.

━━━ 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐊

you, a flower itself, flood his brains like a tsunami to a pitiful city

you, a strawberry in winter, hold sly ways of slithering your way into the recesses of his heart once more

that leaves jung hoseok here, letting the teacher’s words fade to white noise as he doodles your name adorned with hearts on flowers in his notebook

there is distant gossip and whispers that echo from afar, which hoseok picks up due to his childlike curiosity

it begun with useless chitter-chatter, then dissolving to the melodic sound of your name which tumbles from their lips

he listens as the two boys curse the teacher for giving you a D on your exam, them mentioning this supposed ‘club’ that circled everything around you

hoseok was smart, he could raise your grade!

oh, how hoseok would just die to help you with your studies!

with a paradise sparkling in his eyes, he sparks up a conversation with the group, also known as kim namjoon and jeon jungkook

but, the doe-eyed teenager hisses at him, barking at him to ‘keep his fucking mouth shut’

he takes the hint, leaving the conversation with a silent ocean welling up in his eyes

but, this is the embodiment of hope that sits in this dull classroom

he’ll crawl around the corners of his soul till he’s enervate to retrieve what he has longed for

and that leads us up to now, as hoseok stalks to the two from a safe distance, watching as they disappear to the writing club

and just before the door closes, hoseok peeks through the crack of the door and finds the identity of kim seokjin, a boy he’s seen accompany you multiple times

the following day, while the students all stare in confusion for the small boy walking through the halls, hoseok finds him and confronts him

by the look of purified fear, this ‘writing club’ was a hushed secret, and him knowing of this secret was dangerous enough, as it is

after negotiating about how he’d contribute to your satisfaction, jin had no choice but to accept his offer

he doesn’t want this loud-mouthed kid to run up and down the halls preaching about their sins, anyways

the rest of the club members didn’t favor his arrival, all shooting looks of envy and hatred

but, there was no other choice

their fate is written in the stars and complimented with a wax steal upon an envelope.

━━━ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐍

opening his locker, jimin finds a taste of eden’s garden as he finds your face strung upon the wall

there’s irises, rivers, fairies, and peaches within the single picture cutout from the yearbook as he sighs dreamily at the sight

his daydream of honeyed days is quickly disrupted as his best friend, hoseok interrupts his thoughts with stars circling in his eyes

before he can find the words to scold him, hoseok begins rambling about this ‘club’ at a rate to fast for jimin to decipher

he hears tales of his dreams, a chance to taste your beauty

this most definitely sparked his undying interest, ushering his best friend to continue with his intentions to get the boy warped in this world

thus, we are taken to the night where the clock reads 3:38 AM in it’s bright, neon hues

the boys would never dream of staying up this late, especially on a tuesday night as the fear for the scolding of their parents’ echos, but, the adrenaline that seeps through their veins serves as a protection

because of the prophecy of this new club, they are rebelling

and as a new day rises and the sun shimmers in all of its celestial beauty, the boys have come up with a plan

every club needs a mission manager!

and who else would be perfect for this job no other than park jimin…? right?

well, let’s just say, despite his unreasonable, childish, and almost dangerous plans, the rest of the boys weren’t happy upon his arrival

the sighs of annoyance to his careless nature, the scoffs of envy when he speaks words of poetry about everything as little as when you made eye contact that one time 2 months ago

jimin’s contribution isn’t favored, but, if it’s for you, all 6 boys are willing to drag themselves through hell and back

every member holds an undying love for the god/goddess themself, all possessing a wild heart that they’d bled dry if you asked

and jimin is just one branch of the group who also holds an intense infatuation

the water to his parched heart, the flowering spring in a winter haze

he has found the sun as it shimmers against the snow

and nothing is as holy as this.

━━━ 𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐈

another dull day at the café, yoongi listens to his longing for spring’s voice

his hatred for this place burns bright and softly, as he dwells in the anger held within his small body

the college kids, the early morning joggers, all possessing ways of churning yoongi’s anger, one-by-one

obligated to put on a plastic smile for their sake has wars prancing through his head

but then, there’s you

oh, and those lively eyes he craves to gaze into for eternity and the soft furrow in your brow when you stare at the menu

he is mesmerized and listens to the songs of summer as he drowns in your stare

you haven’t taken notice to the hearts that swirl within his eyes as you order, unfortunately, and therefore leave a boy longing for a taste of the sun

during this fit of a daydream, 6 boys stumble in, all conversing at abnormally obnoxious levels

yoongi has to shove a scoff back down his throat and bring a halt to the urge to roll his eyes and dresses himself in the facade

as they all order and then continue their chatter elsewhere, yoongi can resume his illusions about your sparkled presence

whilst in the process of finishing a cappuccino, he hears the sugary melody of your name

he freezes, then concludes he must be hallucinating, resuming the process of the drink in his hands

after all, spending hours upon hours in this sacred place causes his mind to go hazy at times

the lilied waters of your eyes, skin like roses in the evening

you are so, so very loved by the boy at the café

starting up the hot chocolate with “extra sugar,” he hears it once more

does he need to stretch out his sleeping schedule or was this real?

were they truly speaking of you, or has he truly gone insane in the late afternoon?

peeking over his shoulder, that’s when yoongi sees it

your face was drawn upon a notepad, all fluttered hearts and empty petals around your face

the soul of the planets, the green pigment of the gardens, all held in this stranger’s arms

with determination, yoongi is required to learn more of this guest who spoke hushed tales of you

he’d do anything to know more about the star who enlightens his grey days

and now, the club is complete.

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