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queen-scribbles · 11 months

Note

"22. falling asleep on the other’s shoulder" for Emiri?

Sand

(another entry for the "Kana joins Emiri's crew" AU, and fic-length pining and sweetness ahoy!)

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The soft crunch of footsteps on the sound alerted Emiri to approaching company. She stifled a sigh. It was hard enough to get a moment truly alone on the ship; she’d really been hoping for some uninterrupted solitude while they were ashore to resupply. Apparently, halfway down a beach in the middle of the night wasn’t even going to do the trick.

“Emiri? Is something wrong?” Kana. His gentle baritone had her toes curling in the sand.

“No more than usual,” she said softly, her chin pressing drawn-up knees as she stared out to where the Mercy bobbed offshore. “Just trying to clear my head.”

He gave a small chuckle. “If I may, this seems an odd location, given your feelings on the sea.”

Emiri snorted. “You’re not wrong.” Crashing surf did nothing to soothe her as it did for some. “Only place to get away from the chatter of camp.”

Kana hummed in understanding. “Then I shall leave-”

“No.” Emiri turned his way, thoughts tripping a little over the worry that had been too fast, too raw. “I- You don’t have to.”

His smile at that lit his whole face. “As long as you’re sure? I’d hate to intrude, just wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

“‘Preciate it,” she said. “And I’m sure. I... don’t mind your chatter.”

That made him chuckle again as he joined her. He was barefoot like her, she noted, and had his trousers rolled to midcalf so they didn’t drag in the sand. He sat close enough she could feel the warmth of his presence but a courteous, narrow gap remained between their shoulders.

Kana was silent for several minutes--impressive for him--listening to the ocean and letting her sort her thoughts before he spoke. “Is it something particular bothering you, Emiri? Any trouble we can help assuage?”

Emiri smiled as she shook her head. “Nothing. Just... everything.” She cringed a little at how nonsensical that sounded, but he seemed to take her meaning, so she rolled on. “I’m trying to help so many people, Kana. My friends, kith I’ve met here...” she started tracing patterns in the sand between them. “The gods themselves.”

“It is a lot to carry,” he said softly, doodling a sun and waves near her own random lines. “You know we’re always ready to help.”

She nodded. “I know. I’m lucky in my friends.” From Edér digging her out of her wrecked fortress and chasing his god for her without hesitation and Aloth gently cleaning glass shards from her feet after a god-chat, to Xoti shyly offering a lantern as nightlight if she wanted and Kana’s own impulsive detour from his planned journey to join her, she was very lucky in her friends. “Some of it only I can do, though.” She flashed a wobbly attempt at a smile. “Figures that now I don’t have nightmares and memories keeping me from sleep, the anxiety of what’s riding on me has stepped in to fill the gap.”

Kana cocked his head at her. “You aren’t sleeping again?” His fingers stilled in the sand.

“Most nights are fine,” Emiri said hastily. “But there have been a few recently where I couldn’t stop thinking about... everything.”

He offered a sympathetic smile. “Responsibilities more numerous than the sand?”

She exhaled a soft, wry chuckle. “Feels like it sometimes. And it’s not just the length of the list, it’s figuring how to prioritize them. What can we take care of on the way to a ‘bigger’ problem? What do we need to look into before a lead dries up or danger strikes? And looming over all of it is the gods’ charge to stop Eothas.” She hesitated, shoving her toes deeper into the sand as she whispered, “Even if part of me wants to let him, after what...”

She let the words trail off but could feel his gaze on her as she stared at her sand-dusted feet. Considering the implication of her words, what to say in response.

“Aloth mentioned it was bad,” he finally murmured, resting a hand on her arm. “He also said the details were yours to share if you chose.”

Of course he did. A small, grateful smile tugged Emiri’s lips, even as a breeze tugged at her hair. But this was Kana. “The godlike... we’re not just marked by the gods.” She sighed, the soft glow of her crescent dimming slightly. “We hold a small piece of them, their essence, in our soul. If... if they feel the need, to face a threat” --like Eothas--”they can... reclaim that essence to boost their power, and, well.” She dug a harsh, narrow line through the sand. “There’s a lot of us.”

Kana squeezed her hand. She hadn’t noticed his drifting down her arm, fingers intertwining with hers as she spoke. The gentle pressure made her heart skip a beat. “With dire consequences for the godlike, I take it?”

“Consumed in the process,” Emiri confirmed through gritted teeth, the same anger as the initial revelation beginning to spark in her gut. Her free hand dug into the beach. “They don’t care, it’s a necessary step for the greater good, no matter how many die.” She flicked her hand up, scattering grains the breeze carried away. “We’re sand to them, Kana. Miniscule and beneath their concern no matter how numerous. A small sacrifice to burn thousands of us if the resulting slag of glass makes a useful weapon.”

Her chest ached as the festering words spilled forth. Berath’s Chime reacting to the bitter sentiment, maybe. Her own disappointment the gods were the same now as when she’d cried for help and been met with silence. She hadn’t brought this up with anyone; not Aloth, not Edér, no one. And maybe it was unfair to dump on Kana when they were getting ready to part ways. The thought stirred a fresh ache in her chest.

“Emiri.” Kana squeezed her hand again, more firmly this time. “That is indeed a terrible burden for you to shoulder.”

She gave him an apologetic look, trying to smile. “Sorry for putting it on you...” she mumbled, staring at the ground as the breeze picked up.

“I feel I should be apologizing,” he said, just as quiet, “for not being there to support you when you first... learned.”

“Well, it was the middle of the night.” Emiri gave a wobbly laugh, shaking sand off her fingers so she could attempt brushing loose hair out of her face. “And I know you sleep like a rock. Aloth helped. And I needed time to work through it before talking with anyone else.” She sighed. “I’m just tired, Kana. Tired of restless nights, tired of impossible demands, tired of everything being on me, tired of always being a resource.”

The gods were no better than her former pirate masters in that regard.

“You aren’t,” Kana said, tone more serious and firm than she could remember ever hearing from him. He turned to face her, gently interposing his hand to brush sand off her temple and tuck her hair back for her. “Not to us. To us you are a marvel of kindness and caring and strength born of a life harder than any should have to endure. You are creative” --his thumb dipped back from where their hands were still clasped to brush one of her bracelets--”and determined, and have a sweet tooth to rival my own.” He winked, barely visible in the glow of her crescent. “Along with a fondness for all things fluffy, furred, scaled, or quilled.”

Emiri managed a shaky smile in answer to his lightening tone. “But not feathered.”

Kana chucked and squeezed her hand. “Yes, you have the good sense to make that exception.”

She actually giggled. “What is with you and your sister’s bird, anyway?”

“A tale for another evening,” he demurred, shifting in the sand, and she wasn’t sure if the deflection was embarrassment or concern for her. A beat, then, “Your friends all love you, Emiri. We’re always grateful for your willingness to help when we need, but are more than happy to return the favor.”

“I know.” She let her head rest against his shoulder. “My problems just always seem to be so... big.”

“Do I need to remind you the effort you put forth helping me find the Tanvii ora toa?” Kana asked with a wry laugh.

“Chasing a god across half the known world feels a little bigger,” Emiri retorted lightly. They lapsed into silence, and the weariness she’d thought a background issue started tugging more insistently. “I don’t really mean it, you know,” she said around a small yawn. “‘bout not stopping Eothas. Might be tempting, but whatever I think about the gods, I do worry about the fallout for kith...”

Kana hummed an acknowledgement. “You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t. And that’s why we follow, why we trust your judgement. B’cause you are you. And no matter how much a god tries to siphon from your soul, that still shines through.”

She gave his hand a light squeeze. “Thanks, Kana.”

Part of her thought about rousing enough to go find a real bed if she was finally going to sleep. But the languor was settling in, she was surprisingly comfortable, and Kana didn’t seem to mind. He was humming a sea shanty as she drifted off, their hands still loosely tangled together.

He let her sleep til the tide came in, roused her with an apologetic smile, swept her up in his arms when shifting sand and lingering exhaustion made her stumble. Emiri mumbled half-asleep protest when his first steps staggered, but Kana shushed her as he found his footing and headed back toward--she assumed--their friends.

She had enough time to think ‘far be it from me to protest’ before sleep came for her again.

Her last thought before succumbing, however, was that the sand still clinging to her would be a pain to get out of her sheets.

#queens fic #touch prompts #emiri #kana rua #pillars of eternity #hoo boy i definitely have to let her have him after this #at least in the au #i know how i'd do it too :3

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girlucifer · 3 years

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so i finally got to the wedding pop quiz . . .

#AND IT WAS EVERYTHING TO ME!!!#mammon... my beloved............ i have no words #he is just so goofy <3 #ive been rewatching nana and yes he is exactly like nobuo [affectionate]#heart of gold... dumb of ass...#anyway <3 my mother is pushing me to find my future husband this year and im like hello... he's right here... see our wedding photo.......#anyway! cringe alert! she drew another self insert!!!!!!!!!!!1 #obey me oc #doodles #obey me mammon #pop quiz wedding #its bc she married at 22??? and she just expects people this generation to do the same thign??? like mother i am 100k in debt lets focus #on that please #anyway... mammon proposing via song was so adorable. and i think mc shouldve had the option to make out w him directly

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albatross-tech · 4 years

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I CAN'T STOP DRAWING A FRIGGIN LOSER-

This child. This little teen demon. Seriously, this child undercover researcher...way too qualified for his own good. He is strongly, grossly inspired by a certain character. If you know that character. Congrats, we are in the same level of hell together. Just, I like expressive eyes...ok...and ram horns...

He's already got an entire fuggin backstory in Edwin's universe...I just like him. Almost tempted to make an rp blog just about him...but that would be stupid and crazy. I suppose should give his name....it's

Nicolas Sivirus. A dream-like demon...

#doodles #ocs #anime #anime art #i dont know #im bored #what have i created #cringe #demon oc #nerdshit #nerd #nerd alert #good bean #uncreative

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cherubsoda · 4 years

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qhsjsj sorry, rant time:

im tired. my friend knows im trying to get more comfortable with self shipping even after years of using it to cope.

they know how strained i am with sharing stuff ab self shipping and how im trying to come to terms with being self indulgent but they literally just called it "sad" and stuff like that and i felt my chest get heavy and i just started to vibe ig

truthfully ive only been active in the community for maybe? a year or so? but i had this blog for years but didnt post my own work or interact with many people. sometimes i wish i kinda just shut up ab it bc i know others view it as stupid and childish and whatever, i get it i beat myself up over it every day i dont need to hear it from anyone else, let alone a friend of mine even in a joking manner

#my worst fear is that everyone sees me as stupid and fucked i feel nauseous! i hate this a whole lot!#its my fault for prompting them to say it and stuff so oops! no serotonin!#i literally feel horrible for shring stuff in my server ab it and i just wanna die bc ! hehe my friend basically said cringe alert!#'we don't mind' bitch i do! feels bad #d.o n.o.t r.e/b/l/o/g #she said she was kidding but hehe hurted xoxo #yknow what. *shifts into ps4 since yall be playin me*#anyways i let them know shit hurtd shdhdh and the apologized but yknow what!#biggest insecurity! and yknow when you joke ab yer insecurities and no one else can say it but you?#its basically that #bc they know how i am. we've known each other for years. so sometimes i feel like shits on purpose and she really means it #again i feel like i gotta grow up too and idk maybe just fucking get help?#im sensitive aubrey 😞#lol i couldnt finish any doodles last night bc of this snd i fell asleep fucking sad as hell .#shit bro whatever!!! i cant draw anything indulgent im gonna cry i hate this !#cherub cheeps #please don't bash them tho i just lmao #fuck my vibes are rancid and outta whack rn im sorry if i come off really shit today ooga

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wwalkingdread · 2 years

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u r seriously amazing at what u do. can I pls req prompt #7 w marlon as a set of headcanons? thank uuu <33

❥ Just Friends

Prompt: “If I stay here tonight and sleep by your side again, I won’t be able to control myself, not today”

Characters: Marlon

Descriptions: You and Marlon have been friends for a while, but Marlon has started thinking of you differently.

Warnings: Cussing, like one suggestive joke

Notes: That’s so sweet thank you!! Changed a few things around, but it’s ultimately the exact same prompt!! I wanted to keep it a little shorter because my first draft just felt like it should’ve been a story instead. So sorry for the wait!!

♥︎ You and Marlon have known each other from before thing went to shit. While he didn’t know you as long as Louis, you were still his best friend.

♥︎ You got into trouble for graffiti, along with some other petty crime. He found that a lot more entertaining than just being an angry kid who would lash out like he was. You’d constantly doodle on your school work and get scolded for it, but you didn’t seem to care.

♥︎ When the apocalypse hit, Marlon was there for you. You didn’t want him to see you so scared and weak, so you tried bottling it up. He wouldn’t respect you if you were tough, but you couldn’t laugh it off like Louis could.

♥︎ You first found comfort in Marlon when he was fifteen, who slept alone in his office with a Rosie who wasn’t greying.

♥︎ You tapped quietly at his door, hoping it would be loud enough to alert him, but not enough to actually wake him if he was asleep. You bit your bottom lip, sucking on the flesh as you listened quietly to the shuffling coming from inside. You picked at the skin on your fingers when you heard him approach the door,

♥︎ “Hey.” His voice was quiet. “Y’alright? I don’t know what time it is, but it seems pretty late…”

♥︎ “I can’t do this anymore, Marlon. This is… Everything… It’s so hard and I… Fuck, Marl.”

♥︎ He jumped, blinking away his tired eyes and gripping you by the shoulders, hoping it would stop your shaking.

♥︎ “I can’t do it, Marlon. I…” He pulled you into a hug, holding you tightly, “I don’t want to be alone. Please… I can’t…”

♥︎ Marlon fell quiet, letting you cry into his chest, feeling it soak through to his skin. He finally asked if you wanted to sleep here, a suggestion that felt strange on his tongue. He cringed when the words came out of him, immediately going to take it all back, but he felt you nodding against him, sniffing.

♥︎ You slept at the bottom of the bed, Marlon telling you to go fetch a pillow or two from your room. He was honestly hoping you wouldn’t come back and you two wouldn’t talk about it in the morning, but you came back with two white pillows and a shy smile, your hair sticking to your cheeks. It was tense, awkward. While the crying had tired you out, Marlon struggled to sleep when he was so aware of your presence. He did his best to keep himself away from your legs, curving around them when you shuffled in your sleep.

♥︎ It was pretty unspoken that whenever you needed support Marlon would be there and he’d let you sleep in his room. He got more relaxed with it overtime, even letting you sleep next to him.

♥︎ You two were just friends. It was something he had to tell himself and even Louis who caught on after he saw you tiredly leave Marlon’s room, shutting the door quietly as to not wake him.

♥︎ Marlon was completely red when he explained that no, nothing happened. You two were just friends.

♥︎ Louis was a little bitter he wasn’t invited to your sleepover. Marlon said he’d invite him if he’d keep his mouth shut.

♥︎ The visits became more recent, especially recently. Again you found yourself outside Marlon’s door. Giving it a few knocks before slowly opening it.

♥︎ “Hey.” He greeted, leaning up from his spot on the bed. “It’s pretty late.” He said and the words rung familiar.

♥︎ “I wasn’t thinking of coming…” You confessed, chewing the flesh of your cheek, “But I wanted to see you.”

♥︎ “That’s… Okay.” Marlon hesitated, “Uh, you’re sure you want to though? I mean, you did have to think about it in the first place”

♥︎ “Of course I want to, dude. You’re my friend. I love having sleepovers with you.”

♥︎ You found yourself sitting at the edge of the mattress, Marlon awkwardly shuffling to make space for you.

♥︎ Your smile faltered.

♥︎ “You don’t want me to sleep here… Do you?” Marlon seemed to tense, “You seem… Kind of iffy about it. It’s okay if you need space, Marl… I can just-“

♥︎ “I want you here. I do.” Marlon’s hand landed on your leg, gripping onto your knee, “There’s just a lot of my mind.”

♥︎ “What’s up? You can tell me anything.”

♥︎ Marlon fell backwards with a sigh and you found yourself laying down beside him. He was on his back, looking toward the ceiling and refusing to look at you. You were on your side, ready to listen.

♥︎ “I just… I don’t feel the same way that I did about you when I was a kid.” Marlon started, “Everything feels different between us.”

♥︎ “Are you…” You laughed, a little nervous, “Breaking up with me?”

♥︎ “Breaking up? Fuck, I wish I knew we were together… All the things we could’ve done.”

♥︎ He laughed, turning his head to look at you. You bit your lip at his words, a grin appearing on your face as you gently hit his shoulder.

♥︎ “What did you mean then?” You asked, smile falling.

♥︎ “I don’t know if I can handle you being here.”

♥︎ He spoke to the ceiling, sucking in a breath,

♥︎ “If you stay here tonight and sleep by my side again…” He rolled onto his side, looking into your eyes with his intense gaze, “I won’t be able to control myself, not tonight.”

♥︎ “I don’t think I want you to control yourself.”

♥︎ “I’m being serious.” He said, his tone firm.

♥︎ “So am I.” You stated, hoping to mimic his stern voice. Marlon’s eyes went wide briefly.

♥︎ His hand found itself on your cheek, his face getting close to you’re, breaths bouncing against one another’s,

♥︎ “Are we going to regret this…?” He murmured.

♥︎ “I don’t care.” You said, closing the gap between you two.

♥︎ Your lips press against each other clumsily, noses briefly colliding a few seconds before you separated. You two both let out breathy laughs.

♥︎ “We’re still best friends right…? Or, did this fuck things up for us?” Your voice wavered with worry, but you had a giddy smile on your face.

♥︎ “We’re still best friends.” He assured “But being more couldn’t hurt. If that’s what you want.”

♥︎ “Are you kidding me? Dude, I’ve been into you for years.” You admitted, your heart swelling in your chest,

♥︎ Marlon blinked in surprise, “Seriously?”

♥︎ “I think it was when I helped you with your mullet…” Your hand found it’s way to the blonde mess, “I think I did a pretty good job back then… You should let me at it again.”

♥︎ “If it gets Violet to stop talking shit about it then sure.” He laughed and you did too.

#twdg #twdg hc #twdg s4 #twdg x reader #twdg marlon x reader #twdg imagine

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aerynwrites · 3 years

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Specter

Boba Fett x F!Reader

A/N: For @autumnleaves1991-blog Writer Wednesday! I had a lot of fun with this one as Sci-Fi is definitely my passion when it comes to writing, watching, reading stuff! So I guess a little backstory with this, is my inspirations for the reader came from the above image (left) as well as kind of mixing that with the idea of The Winter Soldier/Bucky from the MCU. Also I loved the idea of Boba facing an opponent that hes never faced before and getting his ass beat lol. So...here ya go! I hope you all enjoy! <3

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: fighting, guns, and knives.

Specter: Specter refers a ghost, or something that is widely feared or is a source of terror or dread.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

In all his years as a bounty hunter traveling the galaxy, It still surprises Boba sometimes that he doesn’t know all of the planets. Granted he is usually only called to the same ones over and over. So, seeing a new planet is something that causes surprise to tug at the edges of his mind. This is how he feels when the bounty he receives is said to be last spotted on a rather large yet secluded planet by the name of Zonuc. The memory of the exchange a few days ago replays in his mind as the ramp to Slave I lowers.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

“I’ve never even heard of this planet before, and you expect me to fly triple the distance I usually do to capture a bounty that you can’t even give me any information on? No age. No species. No name-”

“I gave you a name,” the client interrupts, waving his withering hand dismissively. The client is a wrinkly old Zabrak bastard who has caused Boba more frustration in the last half hour than he’s experienced in years.

“No,” he barks, “You have me an alias, which isn’t that helpful when they can just dump it for a new one whenever they please.”

The Zabrak rolls his eyes, “I was told you were the best. If you feel this is too much of a challenge I can just find someone else to-”

“Save your ultimatums for someone else, Kar,” Boba snaps, “I’ll get them. But I expect heavy compensation for the trouble this causes me.”

Kar sneers at the bounty hunter, “If you manage to bring them back to me alive, I assure you,” he leans back in his chair, “you will never have to worry about credits again.”

Boba scoffs before turning on his heel and leaving to find his bounty.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

The sight that greets Boba as the ramp of Slave I opens before him, is definitely different than anything he’s seen. Immediately he is struck with a familiarity. The city he’s landed in is teeming with life, bustling streets, towering buildings, neon signs hanging everywhere. It reminds him of Coruscant but less…refined. This place is definitely a place where those who want to disappear go. This place also reeks of trouble and shady dealings. What strikes him as the most odd however, is the people that seem to inhabit the place.

They look like humanoid droids. But not the kind that can’t do anything but follow their master around and translate languages. No. These things look like humanoids that have been transformed into machines.

Boba treads carefully - senses on high alert while also listening to the tracking fob that beeps steadily at his side. He spends his first few hours on the planet trying to simply get his bearings, finally having found a non-robotic person to ask about the place. He learns that the people that inhabit the planet in majority are called Exos, a species he’s never heard of. He also finds that this place is exactly what he thought it to be -

A place for criminals and wanted people to come and live and thrive in a life of crime. A safe haven for those on the run from people like him.

He huffed at that information. No place is ever truly safe, and as his tracking fob starts to beep faster, he knows he’s about to teach that lesson to yet another bounty.

He follows where the tracking fob leads him, surprised that the bounty does not seem to be moving. Finally, he rounds a corner at the end of the street he is on and he immediately feels when the bounty clocks him. You are at a stall in a marketplace in the middle of the street. He sees you turn to look just as he rounds the corner and he immediately recognizes the mask from the pictures shown to him by Kar. It's black, with orange glowing detail around the visor, creating a haunting effect. The second that visor lands on Fett, you turn on your heel and sprint in the opposite direction.

The hunter curses to himself and gives chase.

He has faced many different bounties in his lifetime, but this one is the first that he has ever had a sliver of a doubt about. The way you dart nimbly through the streets before literally leaping off of walls to reach the roof tops, giving you a height advantage. Fett follows as best he can with his jet pack, but between dodging speeders and hanging signs he loses sight of you. For a moment, as he lands in a side alley, he thinks he actually lost the bounty.

Until the fob at his side starts going haywire.

He glances up above him and raises an arm just as you come crashing down onto him, razor sharp blade glancing off his vambrace as you land. Fett pulls his blaster from it’s holster and aims faster than most could blink, but not fast enough for you. You reach out and grab the end of his blaster before it even reaches chest level, and you yank it from his grip with a force that strikes a tinge of concern into hunters mind. He watches in utter shock as you break the solid metal in half over your knee before rearing back and throwing a knife in his direction. He barely dodges it and immediately reaches for his own blade to defend the attack he knows is coming. This time he is at least able to draw his weapon completely before you are on him again.

You go to throw a punch at his head, and on instinct he leans into it, used to his opponent crumpling in pain once their fist makes contact with the solid metal. However, this time, he is the one that stumbles when a deafening ringing fills his ears as metal connects with metal.

Wait - metal on metal?

He glances up from where his eyes fell to the floor to see you rearing back to hit him again, and he just manages to finally realize what is happening. The black color of your hand that he had assumed were gloves, is actually smooth metal.

He’s fighting a fucking robot.

Before he can dwell on it too long however, he dodges another blow and thrusts his blade forward and up with the intent of burying the blade in your stomach. But before he can, you reach out and wrap your fingers around the blade - stopping it in its path. You wretch the weapon from his hands before landing a herculean blow to his chest, sending the man flying backwards into the wall behind him. He collapses to the ground in a heap and is forced to watch as you snap his blade in half too before approaching the downed hunter. He can see that you think you’ve beaten him, and perhaps you have to some extent. But Boba Fett is not going out of this galaxy sitting on his ass.

So, just as you approach him, he swings his feet out and takes your own from beneath you. And in a puzzling turn of events, he reaches for the mask on your face instead of a weapon at his side. His fingers just manage to slip the plastoid from your head before a boot is placed into his stomach and he is flung backwards with otherworldly strength once more. This time, he is again surprised to feel his helmet being ripped from his head, watching as you launch it down the alley way before hauling him to sit upright against the wall.

You crouch down in front of him, and it's then that he finally gets a closer look at the first bounty that has bested him. The first thing he thinks is that you’re pretty. too pretty to be hiding behind some mask. The second thing he notices is the rhythmic whirring and clicking of the mechanics coming from the, what he can see now, is two mechanical arms.

He huffs, cringing at the stabbing pain in his side as you glare at him. “So, what are you anyway?” he finally asks, eyes tracing over your arms once more before returning to your face, “I feel like I at least deserve an answer before you kill me.”

Your head tilts to the side slightly at his words, and unbeknownst to him, similar thoughts to his own are running through your head. You find the bounty hunter somewhat attractive and very intriguing

“All you need to know is one thing-” you finally breathe, and Boba finds himself entranced by your voice, “Come after me again...And I won’t go easy on you.”

You stand then, but not before shoving the man back into the wall harshly. You scoop up your mask and slip it back over your face and turn to exit the alley way, leaving the defeated bounty hunter on the ground.

“That was taking it easy on me?” Boba huffs out a laugh and shakes his head.

You pause and turn to look over your shoulder, visor glowing ominously as you say, “I don’t think you want to find out.” and then, with a mighty leap, you disappear into the rooftops.

Boba lets out a defeated sigh as you leave his eyesight, yet, he can’t help the way his lips tug up at the corners slightly.

“I don’t know princess,” he mumbles to himself, letting out a low groan as he finally stands, “I think I want a rematch.”

And in that moment, in a damp ally on an unknown planet, Boba decides that he isn’t done with you yet. Not by a long shot.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

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#Boba Fett x Reader #star wars x reader #Boba Fett #Star wars #Writer Wednesday

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spice-chan · 3 years

Text

A Christmas Present

Hitoshi Shinsou x reader

It’s time for Shinsou to get his feelings across, what better time then Christmas, the day of blessings and magic ?

Soulmate au, coffee shop au.

Word count: 3200

This is written for the secret santa event, for @what-the-censored-xd I hope you enjoy this and merry Christmas!!

warnings - misunderstandings and a teeny bit of angst

.....................................................

A soulmate. A gift all the quirky individuals of this world have been gifted with.

With a mark on your wrist indicating who the individual is, the circumstances, perhaps the time. It’s pretty ambiguous, and the thought of missing the fated person is an ever present fear on most people’s mind. At least yours.

It’s rather plain, sweet, but plain. Easy to be overshadowed by the more gaudy, exquisite, or creative soul marks. It's a dark brown, a darker shade than the earth, but lighter than a macchiato, and its heart shaped. A tiny heart, like the one that often adorns the textbook of bored teens who opted to doodle in class. Still, looking at it never failed to bring a smile to your face.

It’s almost as if you have a premonition that it’s going to bring you something magical.

With those thoughts in mind, you entered the coffee shop, the red ribboned bell at the door making a semi loud jingling sound that alerted the workers of your presence, causing smiles to plaster across their faces. Some looked easy, as real and carefree as breathing, some looking more stiff, almost unnatural on the beholders face. However, one stood out in particular.

Purple, and appearing like cotton candy in softness, hair, with equally gorgeous lavender eyes that sported bluish semi circles underneath. And a face devoid of a smile, his lips set in a straight line. Bored, uninterested, even sad.

“What would you like to order ?” You were startled for a second, taken aback when his lips parted for his monotone tone to slip out from between the cracks. Your cheeks felt hot, realising that you’d walked all the way to the cashier without realising.

“Latte, please. With cream on top. Thanks” You replied nonchalantly, pretending that you weren’t ogling him. You definitely weren’t.

He hummed, his lavender eyes zeroing in on you, making you gulp nervously. Is he ok ?

“Umm..” you cringed nervously. His eyes widened a fraction, and if you weren’t mistaken, a red hue tinted his cheeks. He nervously started putting in your order, his fingers shaking a fraction while his heart thudded in excitement. Your words rang in his head, but instead of the usual robotic monotony that usually accompanied them, they were laced with your unique, bashful voice, accentuated with your embarrassed, cute face.

“Latte, with cream on top ?” He asked again, as if consciousness only streamed back to him. Holy shit he thought. He should ask for your number.

He should, the words formulated in his head, made the movements of his fingers slower, they went to the tip of his tongue-

“That’ll be 2.99, thank you for your purchase.”

But he did nothing.

His shoulders deflated, the movement noticeable to the perceptive eye, especially when he saw your figure move away and take a seat on one of the tables while he prepared your drink. His hand instinctively went to tangle in his soft purple locks, however, the stupid christmas hat he was forced to wear prevented him from doing even that. Frustration towards himself willed up in his chest, the feeling akin to a burn that refused to go away.

It’s fine. You’re not gone yet. He still has time.

Those were the thoughts he kept repeating in his head as he prepared your latte, the words on his wrist feeling tingly, as if stroked by the softest of feathers.

All too soon, he finished and had to call out your drink, anticipation coursing through him. He saw you stand up, bright eyes seeking him out, only to abruptly look away upon finding his gaze rooted on you.

He grabbed the cup, intent on handing it to you, but his fingers shook at the last second when your pretty gaze met his, and he nearly spilt the drink, but he saw a droplet escape, landing on your sleeve. He didn’t comment on it, he didn’t have the chance to.

“Are you ok ?” You questioned him, you didn’t think he was the ditzy type, then again you don’t really know him. But even this knowledge didn’t stop the concern for the handsome stranger to bubble through you. Caring about him felt as natural as breathing.

“Yeah. Sorry about that.” His previously monotone voice seemed just a bit more breathy, just a bit more deep, but enough to have you swooning even more then before.

You smiled at him- and gosh wasn’t it the prettiest sight he’d see— and grabbed your drink from his seemingly clumsy hands and settled back on your table. If only the turmoil within his heart could be settled as well.

………...…

You walked out, the bell once again jingling, but this time to signal your exit. The taste of the best latte that ever graced your mouth was still present on your tongue, the remnants reminding you of the handsome stranger who made it.

You goofily smiled, happiness gushing out of you without rhyme or reason, however, when your hand went to cover your mouth, you saw it. A coffee stain on your white shirt. A heart shaped, coffee stain where your soul mark is.

.……………

The bell jingled, signaling your arrival once again. It’s been a habit that you made to frequent the coffee shop at least three times a week, in hopes of seeing your soulmate.

On instinct, your eyes sought the lackadaisical male, and they were blessed, for you saw him, in the same place as usual, sporting the Christmas hat that he always seems to have on. The hat that failed to do hide the soft purple locks that your hand ached to run through-

“Latte ? With cream on top ?”

“Yes” you should be flattered that he memorised your order, but then again, you have been coming here more then a devout Catholic frequents the church. You really just hoped he’d say something else. Everytime.

He should know you’re his soulmate, shouldn’t he ?

“That’ll be 2.99” Maybe he just doesn’t want you.

“Thank you.”

Dammit. Shinsou thought. Disappointment filled his chest when he saw your downtrodden face move away and sit at your regular table, leaving him to his own devices. It’s been about a month since he’s met you. A month since he discovered who his soulmate is. A month since you began to frequent the place he works at. A month since he failed to act on it.

The aroma of coffee that surrounded him, while aromatic, filled him with an innate sense of bitterness as he acknowledged his cowardice. No amount of pep talk could get him to ask for your number, and everyday, he felt you slip further and further away from him.

Coward. He repeated that over and over in his head as he added the whipped cream and called out your order .

You’re going to be alone forever.

A few seconds pass by while he stared scornfully at the wall, ticking by painfully slowly, or so he thought, until he realised a few minutes had flown and you hadn’t come to take your drink.

He glanced towards your table, eyebrows furrowed in concern. However, what met him didn’t manage to ease this.

A purple eyed guy sat on your table, a shade lighter than Shinso’s, but enough to make him seem more livelier at a glance. His hair was golden and slicked, giving the stereotypical facade of a prince charming. He held your delicate palm in his own, even his hand played into the princely impression he gave off, not incredibly massive and impossibly smooth-even more so than your own. Shinsou hated him already.

Shinsou lowered his head, his hair covering his eyes slightly, perhaps to shield him from this wretched sight. Is this what he gets from not acting sooner ? Are you on a date with him ? Oh God, he hopes not. But his hair couldn’t protect him from the blood curling sight of the jerk bringing your hand up to his crooked lips and lying a kiss on them.

Shinso looked at you this time, and he can’t tell relief from happiness as both emotions flowed predominantly in his chest at the sight of your indignant features. Your lips were pulled down, the frown not taking a tiny ounce of your beauty, and you pulled your hand away from him.

That’s when Shinsou decided that no, it’s not too late to act. It’s not too late to try to be the one who sits opposite to you in cafes, the one who can hold your hands and shower them with kisses, and the one who brings a smile to your face. Just as he was always meant to be.

He grabbed your still steaming latte, walking up to your table calmly, nothing in his relaxed posture indicated the turmoil happening within him.

“Monoma, I told you, I’m not going anywhere with you. Not again.” Shinsou heard you utter now that he was closer to your table, and the jer-Monoma, didn’t seem deterred in the slightest.

“Come on, (y/n). Let’s try this again-“

Shinsou halted him in his speech, putting your drink in front of you loudly enough to overpower the absolute gibberish spewing out of Monoma’s mouth. After doing do, he grabbed the hand that was previously held captive in Monoma’s own, and brought it up to his lips, lying a lingering kiss on it that had your face feeling warmer and heart palpitating at the turn of events. Shinsou fleetingly glanced towards Monoma, and found all traces of self assurance wiped out.

“Is he bothering you kitten ?” Asked Shinsou, kissing your forehead, making any cohesive response cooking in your brain a victim to burning, no, charring.

“Um-uh, no ? It’s fine…” kitten ?! What the-did he just ?

Why ?

That question resonated in your head, among all the scattered thoughts and chaos. Because the soulmate that you thought didn’t want you was suddenly here, ‘rescuing’ you, calling you kitten and kissing you as if that’s all he’s ever known.

You didn’t realise that you zoned out until Monoma was calling your name.

“(Y/n), is it true ?” He asked, sounding somewhat betrayed.

“What ?” You seemed like such a ditz right right now.

“Are you dating this gloomy guy ? I didn’t know you found a replacement so quick.” You’re dating who now ?

“Yeah.” Monoma quirked an eyebrow at your response, unimpressed, distrustful. He got a hold of the drink that Shinsou obsessed over, worried that he wouldn’t impress you, and took a sip. A sip of the drink that Shinsou prepared especially for you, with your bright, eye crinkling smile in mind and sincere thank you. Now Shinsou was certain he hated him. All smug smiles and shitty attitude.

Monoma remained silent for a moment. His eyes hard and steely, alternating between you and Shinsou, until they brightened once again, almost as if a veil that had previously been placed over them had been lifted. He smiled his princely smile, his teeth making a brief appearance to dazzle their beholders with their brightness.

“I don’t believe you. And I won’t stop pursuing (y/n) .” Shinsou ground his teeth at the audacity. How dare this assh-

“But, I will if you show up to my Christmas ball and convince me. I’ll leave it up to you as to how. I want you to remind me of every moment we had together and make it feel meaningless in comparison to what I’m seeing before me.” He maintained his crooked smile while he spoke, but reached out into his pant pocket and pulled out a card with a location on it. The card was of medium thickness too. Even that screamed rich.

Shinsou wasn’t sure what the appropriate response should be, it could be a solid ‘no, we don’t need to prove anything’ or a solid ‘yes, I’ll show you that whatever you had with her was nothing more than elementary crushing. At least to her.’ Shinsou was flooded with so many opportunities, that for a moment, he forgot what situation he placed himself in.

What is he proving ? He isn’t dating you. He was a coward who hid behind a cashier because he couldn’t acknowledge that the one meant for him was right in front of him.

“Monoma. Leave, you’ve said enough.” Your voice shattered the fake amiability that somehow built in the atmosphere. Shinsou and Monoma glared at each other openly, one with more hostility than the other. If Shinsou looked in the mirror right now, chance is he wouldn't recognize himself. Monoma gave Shinsou one last meaningful look before standing up and taking his leave.

He was shorter than Shinsou, and he grasped into the fleeting feel of superiority the knowledge gave him. He could probably squash him like a pest too.

“What was that about ?” Your gaze was directed at him now, icy and expectant, Shinsou gulped, not having expected the sheer amount of seriousness pooling in your irises.

“I saw how uncomfortable you looked, I just wanted to help you out.” You sighed at his answer. It was stupid of you to expect anything from him. Maybe you are wrong though. You held on to the fleeting hope, a thread to thin to keep you afloat.

“You know I’m your soulmate, right ?” Shinsou nodded, guilt written across his face.

“Yeah, the first thing you said to me is written on my wrist.”

And the thread of hope snapped. It’s just as you thought. He knew before you, all those days that you came, desperate for his acknowledgment but to no avail and it was true. The dark thoughts that you tried to keep at bay festered, tangling together producing something ugly.

You stood up abruptly, shocking Shinsou.

“Thanks for trying to help. I think you only made things worse.” His face became ridden with guilt, he didn’t want to cause you inconvenience. He only ever wanted to help you out— but why didn’t he think this through ?

“I’m sorry-I don’t know why I did this.” He was desperately trying to salvage this, knowing that the moment you left, you would be gone, for good, no more chances.

“Yeah, I don’t know why either.” You hissed angry, grabbing your coat and leaving.

…..………………

Shinsou laid on his bed, face mushed against the pillows and eyes bloodshot. He single handedly messed up everything. Then again, he has a knack for doing that.

It’s Christmas day, and Shinsou rejected all invites to dinners made by friends and family alike, opting to instead wallow in misery. He hasn’t seen you since that day. He probably lost you forever, and he didn’t even get the chance to properly get to know you. He glanced at his wrist, the sentence written on it something he fantasised about as a child many times. It’s what led him to working in a coffee shop, aside from his love for coffee. He knew one day, his soulmate would come along, and say the re-enact the writing on his wrist, be the sugar to his bitter self.

He finally stood up from his bed, stretching his weary limbs. It felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. His eyes caught the card Monojerk gave him though.

His last chance to be with you….

………………

Shinsou stood at the entrance of the huge mansion that Monoma is the owner of, apparently. He’d been standing there for two hours, after coming an hour early to make sure he didn’t miss you in case you did come. People continuously flooded inside, their laughter and smiles a clear contrast to Shinsou’s straight face.

All of it merged together, making a meaningless sound that didn’t resonate within Shinsou, the only thing he registered was the icy wind biting his skin-he opted out of wearing a coat, and the anxiety reigning within him, making his palms clammy despite the weather. He’s here to make things right. This is his last chance. He can feel it in his very bones.

He only hopes you'll come.

But all thoughts flew out of his head when his ears picked up the angelic sound of your laughter, surrounded by friends on either side of you, but they dulled in comparison to you, only side characters while you owned the spotlight. His heart thudded in his chest.

He’ll make things right.

………

Contradictory to what you thought, when your soulmate approached you, your friends didn’t tell him to shove it and to leave you alone. No, oh no, they pushed you towards him and patted him on the back with encouraging smiles. They really just want the best for you. You didn’t think your night would be playing out like this, but here you are, dancing with him.

“Why are you here ?” You questioned, not irritated, but your shoulders were slumped as if you’d given up.

“I’m here because I—I want to finally talk to you. Something I should have done the moment you spoke to me.” He answered, his deep voice ringing clearly in your ear despite the ruckus around you, sending tingles down your spine. You’d never heard such a calming voice.

“And why didn’t you ? I came everyday, hoping you’d mention something. I guess I could’ve as well but, when I discovered who you are to me, the moment was over and gone. But why didn’t you ?” Your emotions were pouring out, tumbling clumsily. You couldn’t get a hold of them.

His hand felt warm on your waist, and you were enshrouded with his warmth, and even his virile scent made you feel safe. You wanted to be as nonchalant as he seemed to be, but you couldn’t, you could never when it comes to the mysterious man who’s so good at making lattes and making your heart pound.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to. Every single time you came. But I don’t know. I guess I was scared. When I saw you, you always seemed to be glowing, as if you made the world your star while you shined like the sun. I knew I could never compare to that, and I knew you were too good for me. But, if there’s a chance that you’d have me, I’ll fight tooth and nail for it.” You listened intently to every word that came out of his mouth, shocked. You remained silent for a few seconds, not knowing how to respond to this newfound discovery. You ? Too good for him ?

Instead of responding, however, you stilled your movement and grabbed his face, bringing him down for a kiss, much to the shock of everyone around you and the man himself. It didn’t take long for Shinsou to respond, while everyone around who were rendered to side characters.

Shinsou doesn’t really need presents, entertainment, or food on Christmas, the biggest blessing is right here in his arms. It’s all he could ever ask for.

…………

Bonus

Monoma looked on, scrunching his face in disgust at seeing his ex kiss the gloomy bastard. He had wanted to talk to you since you came in, but everytime he tried to approach you, someone would come to him and distract him. And well, it was in his nature to revel in attention and adoration. He was surprised that you didn’t run back to him, but he could see it now. Monoma had never seen you do something so bold with so many people around, but love does bring you to new heights.

#bnha #bnha fanfiction #hitoshi shinso imagine #shinso #shinsou x you #bnha shinsou #bnha shinso hitoshi #shinsou hitoshi x reader #coffee shop au #soulmate au #soulmate marks #Christmas #my hero imagines #shinsou x reader #mha #mha fanfiction #hitoshi shinsou

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horrorstarz · 3 months

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Hey gang! Just letting you know I changed my name! From LilDoodleThings to horrorstarz, it fits nicely and I do love it! :D

#cringe doodle alert #doodle thoughts past 9pm

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ozzingtonavenue · 4 years

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cringe alert😳😳

u thought it was gonna stop at sunsou doodles? You fool. Go big or go home. Fankids time.

( little babey with the curly bangs belongs to @im-poke-ayy )

#olympusshiping #trainer sun #trainer soudo #pokespe #theyre embarassing fathers #ill go back to normal pokespe one day but brain rot is strong rn #please ask me about them i will go bonkers if u do

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wayvshop · 4 years

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Overcoming

⇝ Word Count: 4,871

⇝ a/n: this was about 9 pages so I didn’t thoroughly edit it,,,sorry~

⇝ Pairing: Xiaojun X Reader (should be gender neutral but lmk if I made any mistakes!!)

⇝ Warnings: Mentions of food, drinking, arguments

The once dark-haired boy now sported mauve, always wearing headphones, and eating a lollipop- never once have you seen him without one of the other neighborhood boys. They roamed the district, often riding bikes and dancing to music no one else could hear.

You weren’t a fan of the group and neither were your friends and family, saying they were bad people and always reminding you not to let them influence you. It was a simple rule, one you would usually follow but when you found yourself enjoying a cup of coffee in a small café as the group came in, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave.

“DJ you nearly wrecked us, again!” One of them smacked the mauve haired boy, apparently named DJ. Their voices became mixed and made it difficult to understand as they shouted and shoved each other happily, slowly making their way over to the counter to order. It seemed as if they were regulars as the staff began to make their drinks and simply gave a total, asking them to find a table to sit and wait. It wasn’t until then did you realize the problem, you were using the booth in the corner, the cafes largest table and the only one able to hold eight people. The group turned to your corner, about to flood the booth when the blonde quickly stopped them. “Let’s go over here. Let them have the table.” He quietly ushered the others to push some tables together, smiling politely at you before returning his attention back to the group.

“We going to the hangout this weekend?”

“I won’t be able to.”

“What? Why not?”

“Gotta work”

The short chat resulted in a chorus of boos, and you gave a small snort in response. The sound must have been louder and more noticeable than you intended as the group grew quiet and glanced at you, causing you to duck your head in embarrassment. ‘This is what I get for eavesdropping’ you thought, looking back down to the book in front of you.

The time continued to pass, with you pretending to read when you were actually enjoying the groups ridiculous conversations that ranged from whose mother cooked better to which one of them would be more likely abducted by aliens. By the time the sun was setting, the boys began to pack up and leave, reminding you of the time as well and cringing- your roommate was expecting you to be home by now.

Grabbing your book and the rest of your belongings you sprinted out of the store, not noticing the way your mauve haired admirer gazed at your disappearing form or the sighs that escaped his friends at the pitiful display.

By the time you made it to your apartment the sun had passed the horizon and you were out of breath, your friend already setting up the living room and playfully rolling her eyes at you. “What, did you forget which room was yours?” You smiled at her sarcasm, moving forward to help her move the couch around. “No, just listening to the neighborhood dorks in the café.”

Watching her expression out of the corner of your eye, you noticed the shift in attitude, but she still smiled teasingly. “Oh, so now you’re into the bad boys?” Nudging you with her elbow, she laughed at you sticking your tongue out in disgust. Both of you pulled the blanket over the back of the couch, letting the corners drape over the dining room chairs you stole from the table.

“Sure, and Earth’s not a real planet.” You replied sarcastically, the thought of dating one of them sending shivers down your spine.

“Alright alright, then we can instead make fun of the main protagonist falling for a bad boy.” Tiff smiled as she held up one of your favorite romance movies. The two of you grabbed snacks and drinks and piled onto the makeshift fort, giggling as the movie started and you both settled into the blankets and pillows.

You sighed, shoving your hands into the pockets of your jacket as you enjoyed the early morning walk. You and Tiff stayed up late, acting as if you didn’t have an early lecture and she didn’t have a job to get to so you both woke up to the alarm going off in your room. The chaos following soon after as you both scrambled to get up from the floor only to trip over everything in the process and laugh at each other brought a smile to your face.

The fact that it was Friday was your only console as you trudged through campus, the wind gently gliding over your body and waking you up. It was peaceful until shouting and whistling could be heard from a familiar group walking across the campus field, some of which were jumping around and shoving each other.

Turning to the right to cut through one of the buildings, you cursed to yourself about the inconvenience and picked up your pace. Quickly making your way into the lecture hall, you made your way into one of the back rows and briskly organized your belongings as the last students trickled in. Most of the students had friends who saved seats for them and others didn’t have a problem filling in the holes in-between, except for the one shy mauve haired boy who chose to sit in the back with you. He quietly took the seat right next to you, either not noticing or simply ignoring your uncomfortable shifting so you wouldn’t crowd his space.

Despite the awkward desk mate, the lecture went relatively smooth. You both kept your eyes on the board and worked silently, not wanting to address the uncomfortable presence of the other until you missed something the professor said. He had rushed through the topic and before you were able to finish writing what he had on the board, it was gone, and you couldn’t help but panic a little. Maybe DJ had the notes?

Casually sitting up, you leaned further on the desk while resting your chin on your left hand as you glanced over him. He clearly wasn’t one for taking notes, the writing messy and doodles everywhere, but he managed to keep up with the lecture. Leaning a little closer to read it, you quickly averted your gaze as he looked up, his eyes scanning you before smiling a little. Your face felt hot from embarrassment but you were grateful as he quietly turned his notebook so you could see it properly, patiently waiting and watching the lecture until you were caught up.

After the incident you both went back to how you acted before, tense, and unsure. Your mind kept replaying the scenario and you could only hope he wouldn’t remember and continue to sit next to you.

“…Until next Friday when I see you again.” The professor finished his lecture, packing up his belongings as everyone rushed out the door. You stood up as well, throwing your journal and pencils into your bag as your desk mate disappeared through one of the back doors with the only indication of him leaving from the rowdy group greeting their friend.

As soon as you walked through the doors of the building, you smiled as the autumn air greeted you, the cold keeping you company as you continued the familiar path home. The short journey ended as you opened the door, tossing your keys on a small table and making your way into the kitchen while laughing at the mess from this morning. Tiff must have made coffee from the ground beans spilled all over the counter and a slightly stained mug still laying in the sink.

It was barely 11:30, meaning you still had several hours before your dear friend returned. Sighing, you grabbed a glass of water and sat on the couch covered in blankets.

‘What should I do?’ You wondered to yourself, sipping on the drink as your eyes roamed the room. Ideas ran through your head, but everything seemed so mundane now, queuing your need to leave the apartment for fun.

Pushing yourself off the couch once again, you chugged the water and got ready to leave.

You had visited Tiff at the restaurant she works at but when you walked inside the place was packed, groups of friends chatted as they waited for their tables at the entrance and the buzz of noise continued all throughout the building with your best friend nowhere in sight. Deciding that was a bad idea, you pushed your way back out onto the street.

Unable to think of anything else, you let your feet choose a direction and walk. The campus had many scenic routes, one of which was less popular as it led into the woods, but it was your favorite. The smell of trees and grass combined with the sound of birds chirping, squirrels roaming, and insects buzzing always cleared your mind and made you forget about the time. Today was no different.

As you found the same small clearing you always hid away in, you sat down on the soft earth and took a deep breath, the nature welcoming you. At some point in time you must have laid down but you don’t remember nor do you bother trying to recall it, feeling completely at ease as the sun continued to rise high in the sky before making its way down.

The sound of footsteps alerted you, your eyes shooting open to the darkening sky above. Quickly standing up you looked around, cursing yourself for falling asleep for so long. The footsteps continued a few feet before stopping, you crouched down hoping the grass would be tall enough to hide your frame.

“Lucas?” A voice whispered in the distance.

You stayed quiet, listening as they took a few more steps in your direction before someone came running.

“Yangyang, come on! We’re gonna be late and I’m not taking the fall for you this time. Kun’s gonna be the one to drag your ass back home.” The two men laughed, their footsteps receding and voices quickly fading as they walked away.

You let out a breath, your tense body relaxing slightly as you stood up to find no one around. Following the trail out of the woods, you pulled out your phone to find several missed calls and unopened messages and hissed. You didn’t have to unlock your phone to know who was freaking out, the messages started right after 1 p.m. and continued until 7 with her last message making you smile.

“You’re in the woods again, aren’t you?”

After coming home and explaining what happened, your friend shrugged it off claiming she was slowly getting used to the sudden disappearances and that she just wanted to hang out in her room for the rest of the night. You felt bad, knowing she was probably upset and that you should talk to her, but you didn’t know what to say or do. This wasn’t a common occurrence, and you couldn’t promise it wouldn’t happen again when it wasn’t a conscious decision in the first place.

Checking the time, the clock blinked 8:33 p.m., most shops in the area were still open and if you ran you could pick up her favorites. Knocking on her door, you shouted to let her know you would be out for a bit longer before coming home to which she grumbled a reply.

The diner was close by, it was the café you were worried about as it would close around 10 and the staff wasn’t fond of people coming in last minute to order. However, it seemed like you would be late from the familiar face walking in the same direction as you.

DJ was walking on the other side of the street with one of his friends, both laughing and carrying a small backpack that clinked every time it bounced against one of their legs. You weren’t planning on saying anything until they suddenly cut across the street, nearly running into you as they ran into the small alleyway a few buildings from your destination. Their giggles bounce along the walls as they ran around the corner, your annoyance dulled by the curiosity of the situation.

After a quick glance around, you walked down the alley, avoiding all the fallen trash and dumpsters before finally rounding the corner. The two stood facing the brick wall, the bag now set on the floor and spilling the cans of spray paint as they shook the ones in their hand. You couldn’t help but think how classic it all seemed, a group of rowdy men that live on campus and are notorious for getting in trouble are spray painting the back of a building.

You almost felt disappointed, thinking this would be exhilarating and you would have to run away from them after seeing them doing illegal drugs or carrying a gun but instead you found yourself almost calm, even when his friend spotted you.

“DJ, we have company.” The blonde stopped just before pushing the button, eyes warily watching you as he nudged the mauve-haired boy next to him.

“Unless it’s the owner of the building or police, we’re fine.” The said boy turned his head anyway, surprised to find you in the place of government authority.

“I might not be police or the owner, but I can still be trouble for you.” You weren’t sure where this was going, but you didn’t want to risk getting yourself in trouble, resorting for you to rely on intimidation.

DJ laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling in the process.

“What are you doing here, Angel?”

The nickname caught you off guard, contradicting the shy and quiet kid you’d seen in the lecture just this morning. You opened your mouth to reply when you spotted the uniformed men come around the corner a few buildings away, both of which spotted your group while shouting at your group. DJ and his friend both look back, eyes wide as they shove the paint back into the bag. His friend quickly zipped it and threw it over his shoulder as he sprinted ahead while DJ grabbed your hand and dragged you along behind the both of them.

“Unless you want an interview with the police, I suggest you move your feet Angel!” His shout rebounded off the brick walls followed by laughter as you run through the alley. The footsteps of the police were close behind you and you could hear one shout into a radio about the chase.

Within minutes the boys had led you out of the alley, into the street, and into a building out of sight from the police. All of you stood huddled around the door, waiting for several more agonizing seconds before it seemed to be safe and you took a deep breath.

“I thought you said you would come right back to the hideout, wasn’t expecting a visitor along with the police.” One of his friends with dark hair sat on an old couch, chuckling at the scenario in front of him.

As DJ and who you learned as Ten explained what happened while you took the opportunity to look around the room. The old couch was pushed against the wall facing the front door with several rocking chairs and stools haphazardly sat throughout the room atop a musty smelling rug in what appeared to be their living room, a small hallway with more doors was just to the right of the couch.

“So, in all of this, not only did you nearly get caught by the police, but you also just revealed where we live. And to her.”

“Yangyang be nice, it’s not like she would say anything to anyone.” DJ threw the bag on the couch, banging on the wall leading to the hallway and sitting on one of the nearby stools. Seconds later the five other members came pouring out of the rooms, joking, and chatting as they claimed their spots in the room.

“We have a new recruit I guess.” Yangyang pointed his chin in your direction, the other members eyes quickly followed and settled on you. You recognized the blonde sitting on the floor in front of the couch, he kindly smile as he nodded at you in replace of a greeting.

“Recruit? I never said I was joining anything, I just wanted to avoid getting into trouble with the police.” You remembered why you were out to begin with, panic rising as you checked the time on your phone and cursed.

“If you’ll excuse me I am now late to the café, I have to go.” Turning you heard shuffling as all of them got up and gathered at the door.

“It’ll be closed by the time you get there, and they don’t accept just anyone walking in for a late order.” DJ leaned against the frame as you struggled to unlock the door, the close proximity of the male making your hands sweat and heart run miles.

“I’ll figure it out, it’s for a friend so I have to.”

“We’ll help you get the drinks and whatever else you want, just have to promise not to tell anyone about today. Deal?”

You stopped trying to open the door and stared at him before slowly nodding.

The café was closed by the time you got there but some of the members worked there, Ten was even a manager and just used his key to let you in.

“Okay milady, what can I get for you?” Ten smiled as he pulled an apron over his head and watched the others pull chairs off the tables to sit down.

“A hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and a regular coffee please?” He nodded and had you sit and wait with the rest who took it as an opportunity to introduce themselves.

“I’m Kun, muscles over there is Lucas, to the left of him is Winwin, then it’s Hendery and Yangyang. And you’ve already met Xiaojun and Ten.” The members quickly greeted you as he called their names, DJ smiling happily as you made eye contact on his turn.

As you introduced yourself to them, Ten quietly sat the to-go cups on the table, reminding you of your dear friend still waiting at home. “I have to go now,” standing up you grabbed the cups, “my friend is waiting for me.”

“We’ll walk you home.” Standing up, Lucas started lifting his chair to put it back when you stopped them.

“It’s fine, I still have another stop to make before heading home. See you later?” You weren’t sure what this relationship was supposed to be, you barely just met them, but a part of you wished to know more about them.

With a sound of agreement from them, you said your goodbyes before hurrying to the pizzeria in hopes that maybe you could get everything to your friend before it was cold.

Friday, the most hopeful day of the week yet the day you dreaded as you walked to the lecture you hated the most. After your short encounter with the group on Saturday, you had brought the drinks and food home to spend time with Tiff and discovered a phone number scribbled onto your coffee cup. It took everything in you not to text it right away since you wanted to focus on relaxing and spending time with your roommate but Sunday afternoon you gave in to the temptation and discovered it was Ten’s number. The two of you started texting after he explained he wanted to be friends and within a few days you had learned more about him then your best friend. He had a passion for art and risked everything to join the art program at your university, simply saying that he would rather fail at something he enjoys than fail with something he didn’t. It was strange to you, you barely knew him, yet you felt a spark of excitement every time your phone buzzed and on more than one occasion Tiff called you out for smiling while staring at your phone.

Ten: Want to hang out tomorrow night?

You had stared at the message for a while, only vaguely recalling the smile that plastered your face at the time before the sound of your roommate sneezing brought you back to reality. It wasn’t difficult for her to discover what was going on and all she did was mumble about boys being heartbreakers before stacking food on her plate and leaving.

Now that the time to hang out was approaching you couldn’t help but think about it all, this was the group your social circle avoided claiming they were no good. Yet here you are, giddily walking to the lecture hall as you counted the seconds passing.

As usual you hid in the back, making sure you had left the spot next to you clean as DJ walked in. He didn’t acknowledge you as he sat down in the same spot, and as much as you wanted to befriend him something told you it wasn’t the best time for chatting. You didn’t even realize you had been staring at him until the professor started talking as the doors shut, reminding you and everyone else to get out your notebooks and writing utensils.

It would have been fine; the lecture went as expected but your ever-friendly desk mate changed it entirely. As you were taking notes, he leaned a little closer to you which caused you both to bump elbows.

“Sorry.” DJ rubbed the spot he hit you before scooting further away. You didn’t say anything, you couldn’t say anything. He didn’t elaborate a lot and you didn’t want to intrude either but the entire time he seemed to be cursing a familiar artist you had plans with after class. All you heard from his frustrated mumbles was “girlfriend” and “stay out of my relationships”, leaving you to assume the two argued over their love life.

When the professor finally released the class, he left with a huff before you could say anything. You couldn’t help but watch him leave, confusion and concern slowing your own departure until Ten and some of the other boys stood at the door waiting for you. All of you walked together, Kun and Yangyang playfully bickering as Lucas, Hendery, and Winwin walked behind you and Ten in a failed attempt to eavesdrop. It wasn’t as if you were uncomfortable around them, you’ve been chatting with Ten for long enough to feel like friends but being with them suddenly seemed wrong and your mind wondered to DJ and how upset he seemed.

“Regretting saying yes already?” Ten smiled and nudged your arm.

“Uh huh, such boring people to spend the day with.” You pretended to yawn, catching the attention of Lucas and Hendery.

“Day hasn’t even started, don’t go falling asleep on us before the group is all together.” Throwing his arm over your shoulders, Lucas spoke a little too loudly in your ear and you couldn’t help but notice the mischievous glint in his eyes.

“We’re here, stop crushing them.” Kun quickly opened the door to their place, glancing at Lucas.

It wasn’t too surprising to see the mauve haired boy already inside, claiming his spot on the couch and waiting for everyone while on his phone. You were glad to know that despite the awkward lecture and his obvious distress he still wanted to hang out with you and the others, or that’s what you thought was going to happen.

Everyone had settled into their spots, food and drinks tossed around as they set up a movie for background noise and agreed to play some games to start. You weren’t sure when it started or how but at some point it turned into a game of Truth, spilling secrets about each other to tease, and encouraging you to share your own. It was about what you’d expect from them, constantly tackling each other as more and more personal and embarrassing memories were shared. By the time it was DJ’s turn they seemed to have a silent agreement to take things further, so he agreed.

“Ten doesn’t mind sharing his girlfriends.” No one expected him to say it, the sweet boy they made him out to be suddenly glaring at his friend across the room.

“Since we’re crossing the line then how about you begging us to help you talk to Y/N? Or the fact that you can’t even work up the nerve to approach them despite having the perfect set up? Because last I heard you were head over heels for them.” Ten didn’t even flinch, maintaining eye contact as he took a sip from his drink.

“I think it’s about time for us to say goodnight, obviously the drinks were too heavy for you two.” Hendery stood up, hoping to lighten the mood before things got worse.

Your mind felt like putty, simply nodding your head as Xiaojun disappeared down the hall as the others quickly started cleaning. Ten watched you the entire time, knowing fully how Xiaojun would feel but wondering what you would do with the information.

It had been several days since you had talked to any of them, Hendery brought you to your apartment that night and it’s been radio silence since. You were hoping to stumble upon one of them but you hadn’t even heard any yelling as they gathered on campus and despite visiting the café every day you could only think that maybe that was the end of the friendship. It annoyed you to think that you couldn’t continue being friends with them with after one argument you weren’t even involved with, yet something told you to wait.

Friday morning rolled around, every step of the familiar route suddenly seemed exhausting and you considered skipping the class. Maybe it would be better to just pretend like nothing happened as if you never knew them to begin with but that wasn’t possible, you wanted to be friends with them and understand what Ten said that night.

It was almost time for class to start when you finally made it in, blindly walking up the stairs to the same spot you would always sit in. Except this time, he was waiting for you. Standing at the end of the lane you watched him, his ears looked red and he kept picking at his fingers as he sat in the chair next to yours with a single flower on top. You approached him slowly, wanting to believe he was saving it for someone else, but the small note attached with your name written in bold told you otherwise.

The class was awkward. You had accepted the gift, but he didn’t even mention it, simply sharing his notes as always and shyly leaving right after. Maybe Ten was right about how shy he was, but it was cute how he tried his best.

You had stared texting all of them again after that, they invited you into one of the group chats and the chaos that followed after kept you entertained for the weekend. Lucas had filled you in privately on the aftermath explaining the fight and small truths being mixed with lies, only that DJ was the reason for them to talk to you.

The following week you had grown fond of them, eventually explaining, and bickering with your roommate over your new friends and interest. At first she was against it, constantly trying to convince you to “get out while you still can” but the first time she found a bouquet at the doorstep with a familiar note with your name on it, she was gushing over them with you.

Everyday you found something left behind- coffee in the morning, your favorite snacks, letters, flowers…all with the same note for you. It was almost a routine to check and you couldn’t help but feel giddy every time you would look at the notes, unable to stop yourself from smiling for the rest of the day and making you even more excited for Friday, your plans of asking him out bringing ever-pleasant butterflies in your stomach.

However, he didn’t show. You had waited in class and didn’t try to hide your obvious stare as you watched the people enter, the disappointment increasing as the minutes passed and leaving you alone for the lecture.

“Psst. Y/N” The professor was finishing up the class with only a few minutes left before release.

“Psssssst.” You glanced at the side entrance in the back, the one Xiaojun and his friends would always use, and your heart jumped. His hair was no longer mauve, a sandy blonde complimenting his dark eyes and bright smile as he waved you over. This was not what you were expecting at all, the adrenaline coursing through your body as you started packing to leave. Just as you had closed your bag, the professor said goodbye and you jumped up, hurrying over to the door.

“Where were you?”

“I was getting ready; look I even dyed my hair.”

“Getting ready for what?”

“Our date.”

#wayv fanfic #nct fanfic #xiaojun fanfic #wayv #nct #nct wayv #xiaojun #xiao dejun #overcoming

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gothicwidowsworld · 4 years

Text

Lewis Capaldi #23

imagine...

Stretching her back Y/N sighed in content at the quiet pops that greeted her, tension being alleviated with each satisfying crack. Sure it was supposed to be bad for you and at any other moment in time the y/h/c female would have usually cringed at the action but damn did it feel good. The glass coffee table looked like a bomb had hit it, notebooks, pens and crumpled up balls of rejection decorate it. “I can’t do it Lew. I physically can’t do it.” the y/h/c girl complained aloud to the male. Grabbing a slice of cold pizza Y/N slumped back letting the comfy sofa envelope her tired limbs. Chuckling the male in question picked up one of the ink covered discarded snowballs smoothing out the work his eyes flickered over the messy scrawl. “I like this one, it's good.” The Scotsman announced huffing Y/N rolled her eye in response.

Putting his hands up in defence her continued “I said good not amazing it just needs a few tweaks.” Scowling the y/h girl took another bite of her snack “What’s the point. Maybe I was just a one hit wonder.” Sighing in defeat Lewis smiled weakly at the girl. Her usually bright y/e/c orbs dull and lifeless in the dark lighting. "Right you little Ms Negativity need some coffee and cuddles.” Lewis stated walking through to the kitchen before busying himself by boiling the kettle. Picking up the now flattened crumpled mess Y/N blew a piece of rouge hair out of her eyes. The paper held scribbles and small doodles with the occasional lyric printed in her unusually messy hand. “What if people don’t like it though?” Y/N asked loudly hoping he could hear her over the clattering currently going on in her small kitchen. Sticking his dishevelled head through the service hatch Lewis shrugged. “Who cares if they don’t fucking like it, you have to like it!” he pointed out. Hot steam billowed of the mugs as he walked back to the female. Accepting her favourite mug in thanks Y/N laughed “You can’t say that.” Shrugging again Lewis picked up a red pen. “It’s the truth once it's out there it's up to them if they like it but right now it's up to you.” Setting the hot beverages aside the pair started work not even caring about the red glowing light of the clock silently alerting the fact it was 2:53 am.

“Good evening boys, girls and any extra terrestrial beings watching this!” Y/N grinned at her phone watching all the messages flood in. “I know I know it's been a while huh.” Settling herself the girl began answering the many questions sent in. Giggling Y/N read the next question. “Will you and Lewis be performing Moonlight Heartbreak at the Brits? Btw I love you soooo much” Smiling the y/h/c girl shrugged pulling a face. “Well firstly Annabanana3000 I love you too, secondly that would be telling but I can definitely confirm we are performing could be together or apart whooo knows.” The flood of excited responses caused the girl to laugh again.

Gif source

Giphy - weheartit

A/N @megandonaldson I am so sorry for the crappy ending actually the whole thing in generally

#gothicwidow #au imagines #imagines #gif imagines #au gif imagines #x reader #celebrity imagines #lewis capaldi imagines #lewis capaldi #lewis capaldi x reader #british imagines #au #gif #celebrity au #celebrity reader #requested #british musician #musician imagines #musician x reader

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eunahfmdarchive · 4 years

Text

painting - partial lyrics + partial composition credit. date: early january 2020 / may 2020. word count: 834, excluding lyrics. mentions of eunah’s ex from last year. also, i almost forgot but there’s a reference to the climb in here, yeehaw. ALSO CW: some minor allusions to eunah’s eating and body image issues, and some discussion of sex ( totally non-explicit ). so sorry, i am very tired and forgot to say this in my haste to post.

she should still be enjoying mezzanine and its title track’s success, and a successfully wrapped set of promotions, but eunah can’t. instead, she listens back to the mini-album and feels bittersweet about it already, cringing as she hears the cheery notes of i’m not in love with you’s intro play. the title and the lyrics were supposed to be tongue in cheek, poking fun at their slowness to admit their feelings to one another. now, the title is just simple fact. she’s not in love with him. that’s fine, the feeling is mutual.

still, she can’t get him off her mind. eunah wonders why she didn’t dedicate this much time to thinking about him when they were together. is she too cold? is it because of her hyper focus on her album? is it because of her body? anything but that. she’d like to believe all the sweet things he said were true. that’s how she wants to remember their time together.

eunah’s no artist, but she still doodles something that looks a little bit like him in the margins of her notebook.

at a misty dawn i paint you the clouds that i painted with a brush make me remember you i paint you again ... the moonlight is coming in i open my eyes and quietly be with you again

‘painting’ sounds nicer than ‘drawing’, as far as she’s concerned. the scenes she imagines, the memories she conjures up when she recalls their time together look better as paintings too. eunah imagines them moving through life animated like they’re in loving vincent.

when you call my name when you stroke my hair the memories of you and me i’m falling down i can’t tell you, please love me come to me and hug me yes, i’m afraid there’s no one here

her thoughts and feelings look so dramatic written down, almost erring on the silly side once she’s read them over a couple of times. eunah sniffs back a tear, shutting her eyes tight for a second before leaning back on her window sill perch and laughing. she wonders, does she really care this much about this guy? about this relationship that couldn’t make it through one promotional cycle? that obviously means that they ended for the best, right?

or does this mean something more? would any relationship be able to withstand her busy schedule? eunah’s had her fair share of lovers, more than she thought she would. ( the total is three. ) but either it’s never gone past the stage of purely physical and friendly motivations or the earliest stages of real feelings. even this had only lasted a couple of months.

eunah figures she’s probably a dime a dozen. it wouldn’t take long for a guy to find a girl like her who isn’t so busy, or who isn’t so sad. a girl like her, except she’s more willing to put out. that’s okay too. eunah wishes she could be a bit more like that girl, wherever she is, and a little less like the sad sack sitting with her head against the windowpane.

when you call my name when you stroke my hair the promises between you and me i’m falling down i can’t tell you, please love me come to me and hug me yes, i’m common i’m just a common girl

discouraged in spite of her recent emotional progress, it’s months before eunah revisits the song. she’s not so cut up anymore, and has her sights set on someone else. she cringes at how raw she’d apparently been back in january, but she sees potential in the pages nonetheless. she’s been thinking lately, how she’d like to write something simple that’s still an ear worm, something that builds upon itself as it goes. sitting at her piano, eunah fiddles around with the words of the lyrics for a handful of hours so that they line up better with the melody she’s trying to create, until the syllables fall perfectly into place. by the time her phone alerts her to say that it’s three in the morning so she should get her ass in bed, for once, eunah can say with no doubt in her heart that she is quite pleased with herself.

it’s comforting to think that even her worst experiences can turn into something useful. eunah never expected for her road to recovery to be an easy one, and she always knew there would be setbacks, but to come out of one mostly unscathed feels better than she’d expected. there’s no mountain she wouldn’t climb now, not like before when she shied away. it doesn’t matter how fast she gets there, or what’s on the other side. she can only assume there’d always be another mountain. isn’t that how life goes?

eunah smiles as she drifts off to sleep, satisfied and proud. not just because of the song.

the next day, while her good mood is still leading the way, eunah finishes the melody for what she thinks will be the chorus of a song. she enjoys playing around with it, using her and lux’s home studio to record herself singing it a few different ways. softer, more like a whisper. then, powerful, belting out the woes within. they’re not her own worries anymore, and singing them doesn’t hurt her at all. like she’s rehearsing for a musical, eunah gets into character for her final recording take.

she’s a girl, looking out at the snow on a winter night, and she’s afraid she’s unlovable, maybe even cursed.

and when the recording is over, eunah is a girl wheeling back and forth in an office chair, smiling to herself as she anticipates a good summer.

#tldr: eunah ): but then eunah (:#fmdverification #also i'm gonna get back to emssages asap LOL i just wanna focus on these verifications!!!#sorry i promise i'm not intentionally ignoring everyoneee ily #* / 𝕚 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕤𝕖𝕖 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕒𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕 ⇨ self para !#eating disorder implied tw

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fanfic-scribbles · 5 years

Text

Lunch Buddy: Chapter Seven

Masterlist

<<Previous Chapter Next Chapter>>

Overall Story Facts:

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Story Summary: Steve Rogers makes a friend. A prickly, generally people-averse friend, but they’ll both take what they can get.

Quick Facts: Friendship (/Eventual Romance) – Steve Rogers & Reader (leading to Steve Rogers/Reader) – Female Reader

Story Warnings: Reader-insert that verges on OFC, written in 1st person past tense

Chapter 7: Bi Association

Chapter Summary: An accidental assumption leads to an emotional conversation. Being disasters is both a good and terrible thing to have in common.

Chapter Warnings: Talk of coming out, mentions of homophobia, mentions of past Steve/Bucky and past Steve/Peggy

Chapter Word Count: 3669

A/N: So at the beginning of the story I warned Reader/OFC is very definitely bisexual and that really comes into play here. I think this chapter was one of the ones that pushed me to keep OFC as an option for this story because coming out (or not) is a really personal thing. ‘Not all bi folk’ and whatnot. Otherwise, please enjoy these two doofs being terrible with real actual Emotions.

Job hunting was annoying, but surprisingly fruitful.

“Are you sure everything’s all right?” Steve asked.

“Yeah. Why?” I asked and looked at him.

“Your playlists are a little…” He gave the next word a lot of thought. “…Heavy. Lately.”

Poor sweet summer child, I thought. Apparently Lamb of God had taught him nothing. “You said you like Rise Against.”

“I do.”

“So we’re branching out,” I said and went back to my doodling. “Slowly but surely, we’ll get you to branch out even more.”

“I guess– wait. ‘Slowly?’”

“How about you?” I asked, focused on my crummy little tree. “You’ve been a little out of it this week.”

I thought he’d brush me off. Instead I got silence. I lifted my head again and did a double-take at the way he stared at…well, nothing that I could see. After a few seconds he shook it off– literally. “It’s nothing. I’m fine,” he said. “Don’t you have to go soon?”

I frowned at him. “If you don’t want to talk about it it’s okay; you don’t have to–” I caught sight of my phone and the clock numbers thereon. I jumped up. “Fuck!”

“I’m just trying to help,” he said calmly, and he held onto the rickety table while I threw my shit together. “It seems like you’re more reluctant to go back to work these days.”

Of course he noticed. But then, it was hard to be subtle when I dreaded ever seeing my boss in fear of him asking about how ‘It’ was going. I sighed, slung my bag on my shoulder, and faced Steve. “Work is…work. It gets like this sometimes.” I shrugged like it was nothing. “So if you’re ever looking for someone willing to be chucked at an evil alien or something…”

“I have your number,” he said, smiling at me, and I saluted and ran out.

There wasn’t much smiling over the next few days. For either of us. On at least two of those days I was setting up follow-ups and moping about being rejected from the perfect job. And on a day after that I went through most of my lunch break before I noticed that I had hardly spoken to Steve at all.

I then noticed that he was abnormally silent. He sat with his back even closer to the wall and had his sketchbook tilted up so that he was ensconced in his own little world. I watched him for a while. He ignored me and showed an unnerving lack of emotion. No concentrated frown or unhappy scowl, just…nothing.

“Hey,” I said gently. His hand slowed to a stop and after a deep breath he looked at me. Under such a dead stare I almost floundered– was it really my business?– but I managed to spit out, “Are you…okay?”

I should have asked him how he was but that was a mistake I realized too late. “Yes. I’m fine,” he said and went back to his dead-faced drawing.

I didn’t know how to follow up and it was very blatant that he didn’t want me to, so I went to put my second earbud in.

“But…thanks for asking.”

I hesitated but Steve showed no physical sign of having said anything. But just the words, even flat as they were, made me breathe a sigh of relief as I put my headphones in. Something was better than nothing.

We went through the same routine for the next several days. The next time I came in after that, though, he was sitting with a book, his sketchpad shut and sitting next to him, and at least an inch between his back and the wall.

Still, I was wary. “Hey,” I said as I sat down.

“Hi.”

He sounded…not normal, but not bad. Not exactly. Distant, sort of, in a way that I didn’t know if talking to him would be bothering him. But then his eyes flicked up and I tried to think of something to say. An apology for staring would have been nice, but a coherent string of non-creepy words didn’t make it from my brain to my mouth.

“I, um…” I held back a sigh and tried to think, damn it. It took me a bit but Steve waited patiently for me to spit it out. “I know I keep asking how you’re doing, and I-I don’t want to be annoying, so I’m– I’m fine to keep asking, if that’s okay with you, but…but it’s okay if you don’t want me to keep asking. I won’t be offended.”

He gave that some thought. “Is it selfish that I like being asked even though I don’t really want to answer?” he said at last.

“Personally I don’t think so,” I said. “But I also don’t think it’s bad to be a little selfish sometimes.” If he did, I didn’t know why in the world he ever associated with me.

His smile was small and sad. “I’m more selfish than most people want to believe.”

“Everyone is,” I said. “I know it might not be comforting, but…at least you're not alone?”

“In some ways,” he said, staring at his sketchbook. He rested his hand on it, slightly curved and gentle fingertips moving over it with short, light, absent strokes.

I was curious but I didn’t want to ask. Well, not directly. “Are you working on a project?”

He glanced at me and then looked back down at it. And kept looking.

“If you want to tell me to butt out–”

“I don’t.”

I shut up. Steve looked around the shop like he was checking for lurkers and eavesdroppers, but there was no one even close that I could see. He beckoned me to come closer so I hopped over to the chair next to him and scooted in.

He opened up his book to a portrait that was downright breathtaking. A man’s face was lovingly rendered in a mix of pencil and ink, and while the style was similar to Steve’s other drawings, it was so incredibly different just in the obvious amount of time and care spent on it.

“James Buchanan Barnes,” Steve murmured, moving his hand to rest right next to the sly smile and fondly shining eyes. “Bucky. He was…my best friend; he was…”

The thing was– I was not completely ignorant of Steve’s past. He had been a very important figure in history: medical miracle, war hero, and walking tragedy. He had never caught my attention because the textbooks always made him sound so noble and red-blooded American male and boring. But I’d had a classmate-kind-of-friend who had been obsessed with him for a period of time and so I knew some things just by osmosis.

I had thought that, at least, but I really should have considered the source that information had come from. Anything school had fed me had gone in one ear and out the other but my sorta-friend had, at one point, gotten my attention with an aside about Steve likely being involved with his ‘best friend’ Bucky. I hadn’t thought much of it at the time beyond ‘good for him’ but years of being (lurking) in certain communities on the internet had really made it seem like a true-but-generally-unspoken thing. That, and the fact that he had said nothing because he was too busy stroking the drawing, made it pretty damn clear to me.

So I thought nothing of it when I tried to fill in the blank with, “Your boyfriend?”

It was…the absolute wrong thing to say.

Steve’s head snapped up and his face changed through expressions almost too fast to name– shock was one, anger was another, then–

“What did you say?”

His voice was not stern, or scolding, or panicked. It was…chilling. I didn’t know what the hell to make of it, but it scared me. I couldn’t even swallow, my mouth was so dry. “I–I’m sorry; I didn’t–”

He leaned in close. I leaned back, but I could only go so far. “Where did you hear that?” he said low and glanced around the room.

I became vaguely aware of the world around us and, thankfully, we were completely unnoticed. I breathed a sigh of relief but I still felt shaky. The guy could give a death stare like no one’s business. “It’s okay, no one heard–”

“Where?!”

I didn’t know how to answer that, though I scrambled to try, only to be cut off by the buzzing alarm on my phone. I cringed and tried to shut it up. I’d rather be late for my crappy job than leave things like this. “I– S-so I–”

“Go.”

Steve’s voice was dispassionate and calm and he sat back in his seat. He kept his eyes on the table and his hand lay flat on the sketchbook’s cover. I was frozen, stunned by his coldness, but he ignored me. I packed up, feeling sick and miserable, but before I left I stopped and tried to apologize. He glared at me with eyes that looked full of hurt, so I tucked my tail between my legs and ran.

It was evening and I was just settling in to be sad and pathetic and rue the day I ever spoke to anyone ever when my phone alerted me to a message. Only one person texted me without calling first, and after going through my work day in a state of constant near-tears while I replayed that moment over and over in my head, I was too fucking tired to deal with him just yet.

My phone buzzed again though. And again. On the way off-chance that it was my boss with a work emergency, I reached out from the Blanket Pit of Misery to grab my phone from the coffee table. I almost wished it was my boss when I saw Steve’s name.

However.

Steve: This is going to sound forward Steve: But can I come over? Steve: Or can you come to my place

I raised both eyebrows. Thankfully, the next parts came quick.

Steve: I’m sorry for today Steve: And this conversation shouldn’t happen in text Steve: Or public

I sat up and stared at the screen. On one hand: ‘I’m sorry’. On the other hand: an in-person conversation. Ugh.

Me: I don’t want to fight

His response was immediate and came in a flood.

Steve: We won’t Steve: I promise Steve: I didn’t mean it; I panicked Steve: And I’m sure you already figured out why Steve: But I need to explain it Steve: Please

I was really tired. But I knew that panic.

Me: How the hell do you text so fast

I sent him my address and spent his travel time trying not to freak out. When he knocked, I started to freak out about the mess. I shoved the blankets to the corner of the couch and grabbed empty cups to dump in the kitchen sink on my way to the door. I then stood there for a second to give myself a once-over– lounging clothes, but clean, and I was mostly decent, so I opened the door before I could chicken out. Steve’s eyes were cast down and he was hunched over into his usual brown leather jacket. He lifted his head in my general direction but didn’t really look at me but for occasional glances. He looked about how I felt.

“I guess misery doesn’t love company,” he said lightly.

I rolled my eyes and stepped back so he could step in. “You're not nearly sadistic enough to know,” I said and shut the door behind him. “Do you want something to drink?”

“No thanks. I think I’m going to throw up.”

I had been going to the fridge but at that I stopped and turned to face him. Steve was still hunched and seemed to be shrinking more with every second. I took a step forward and stopped when he flinched. “Hey,” I said gently. “It’s not the 40’s anymore; I’m not going to turn you in.”

“Don’t joke about that,” he muttered.

“I’m not!”

I hadn’t meant to be so loud– even Steve looked surprised enough to have a spark of life again. But he was standing up and I had his attention, so I ran with it. “I wasn’t making a joke of it before and I’m not making a joke of it now,” I said, because I had to make him understand. Somehow.

“I know you weren't joking before.” He fell back onto the couch, which creaked. “It made it…worse.”

I opened my mouth but he held up his hand. I waited, but when he took longer to compose himself I slowly walked over and perched on the edge of the other end of the couch. I felt so stiff I probably would have been more comfortable if I had remained standing, but the silence was so absolute that getting up would be too disruptive.

“Some people knew,” he said, so softly that I leaned in closer on instinct. He raised his voice a little. “Nobody talked about it. Ever. We were…as careful as you possibly could be when you love someone that much.”

He didn’t look at me. I didn’t move. I wanted to…reach out, put an arm around him, do something, but I didn’t know if we were quite there yet. Or if he was okay with being touched at all.

“Peggy definitely knew,” Steve said, staring at the floor but obviously not staring at the floor. “And after Bucky…fell…she–”

Steve turned his face away and wiped it. I scooted closer and put my hand on his arm. He didn’t pull away, so I stayed, but I was stock-still, afraid that if I moved an inch in either direction he’d push or pull or run.

He faced forward again with a dry face and his throat pulsed with his swallow. “I loved her too,” Steve said. “I could have– if I had made it out, we could have been happy, you know?” His smile was sad and wistful and his eyes shone just a little too bright. “I like to think so, anyway. Peggy was never disturbed by it. Sometimes even made some comments that, I think, if we had all made it out…”

He shook his head and got to his feet. “Bisexual,” he blurted out. He kept his back to me and barely glanced back. “I like that; it– it suits me. I think.” He turned to face me. “But I’m not…out. Obviously.”

I nodded. My heart was racing and the more he stared at me the harder it hit my chest, the harder it was to say something. But he took a slow step back, said, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have–” and then he stared to leave and I couldn’t, I couldn’t leave that there. No matter what it meant for me.

“I’m not out either!”

He stopped right at the door. I was almost not breathing when he looked at me sharply, but apparently having very obvious heart failure attested to my earnestness, because his eyes widened and his hand slipped from the knob. I swallowed and sympathized with how he’d had such a hard time with it. I felt like I was swallowing an egg-sized rock. But then he was utterly silent, so I asked, “Well? Does misery love company now?”

He flinched. “That’s not something to be miserable about.”

I shrugged, because that was easy to say, wasn’t it? He shifted from one foot to the other and looked extremely uncomfortable. It took me a moment to realize why that might be. “Yes,” I said and he nearly jumped. “We can be closeted bi besties.”

“I didn’t…mean to make you come out. I just–” He ran his hands over his face and through his hair. “I’m sorry. I’m a mess right now.”

“Just right now?” I asked. He actually made a sound that was kind of like a laugh. I sighed. I felt almost completely drained, but at least the hard part was done and over. “Take off your jacket and sit down,” I said and went to the fridge. “I don’t want you to break down in a cab or something.”

“I drove.” But Steve shrugged off his jacket and threw it on the coffee table as he sat back on the couch. “Motorcycle.”

“Even worse.” I brought back two water bottles and set one in front of him before I dropped onto the cushion right next to him. “I’m not gonna be the last person to see you before you wrap yourself around a pole.”

“I’d survive it.”

That was way too flippant and I couldn’t be trusted to touch it without also getting darker than I felt comfortable with. “Well, I’m sure you have a nice bike that doesn’t deserve that.”

We both sat in awkward silence. He picked at the paper wrapping and I chewed on the bottle rim, occasionally consuming some water by accident just because the damn thing was so full. “I’m sorry,” Steve said quietly. “That could have gone better.”

I put the bottle down. “Coming out is always awkward.”

“Even for you?” he asked and lowered his voice for, “Even now?”

“There’s always going to be someone, always,” I said. “And some that do it because, uh…they care, and they think it’s safer if you just… But– the times I’ve come out, I don’t regret it. Even when it blew up in my face. I never– I just don’t trust people, and sometimes I’m scared of what that makes me, of how detached I get, in the interest of keeping myself safe. I’m glad that, sometimes, even I can still trust people. Even if it’s just a little bit.”

I didn’t really expect anything, but of everything, I really didn’t expect Steve to turn his body and hug me so suddenly I went “oof!” He didn’t hold tight though, so I crossed my arm over to my shoulder to pat his hands awkwardly. And then, because he was hugging from my side and I couldn’t really return the gesture, I slipped my other arm around his back.

“Me too,” he said and let me go. “I’m…glad you can trust me with that.”

“Same,” I said. “Even if it was unintentional. I’m sorry; even if I was right I shouldn’t have said it like that. I know how that heart attack feels, so– I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you,” he said. He still sounded utterly miserable though.

I nudged him. “I promise I won’t say anything. It’s no one’s fucking business, right?”

He breathed. “In theory,” he said. He lifted his head and stared at nothing. “I’m going to have to make it be, though.”

Considering the guy couldn’t come out to defenseless old ‘tries not to talk to anyone else ever’ me without freaking the fuck out, coming out to the world seemed like a leap. “Why?”

He didn’t answer at first; he just sat there clenching his jaw so hard I was afraid he’d break his teeth. Then he stood up and paced, but from the marching motions it didn’t look like it helped much. Granted, my apartment was only so big and he couldn’t get a good stomp going, but still.

“I wasn’t going to,” he said and stopped. “I thought I could get around it, brush off interview questions and just act stupid. But then…” The muscles in his neck rippled with his swallow. “I was talking to this kid one week. They were so sweet, and they had a– a rainbow flag pin on their bag. I wanted to compliment it, but they saw me looking and covered it up. Then they made some excuse and left.”

He just stood there, but when I tugged at his shirt he plopped right down next to me. “They didn’t want to know,” I said softly, because as much as it sucked for him, I could really sympathize with that kid.

“And I hate it,” Steve spat like he was full of bile. “I hate trying to skirt those questions, I hate that the people who would have beaten me to death before the war look at me like they think I’m on their side; I hate that anybody like me is afraid to ask anything other than ‘are you okay that I exist.’” He sighed. “Most of all, I hate that I’m such a fucking coward I haven’t just said it yet. I need to, for my own sanity, but it’s…terrifying.”

I wished there was something I could say, something smart, or comforting, or even just kind. However I had a big load of nothing, so I just kept my arm around him and hoped it was enough that I was there. I hoped that he knew I understood.

He sat there, silent, but he didn’t leave, and eventually I got an idea. “Hey,” I said and got up. “Since you’re here, come on; I’m gonna show you how to play a video game.”

He didn’t protest, and even let me tug and shove him around until he was sitting on the edge of my bed and holding the controller in his ridiculous bear paws. “Fuck, your hands are big,” I said and eyed them. Maybe this was a bad idea. “You’ve got a gentle touch, right?”

He looked at me and made his lips a flat line. “You’ve seen me use tablets and phones.”

“Okay, point,” I said and settled in as the system loaded.

“I mean, I broke a half dozen of each before I got the hang of it, but I’m sure it won’t take me that many this time.”

I glared at him and he smirked, the little shit. As the starting screen came up I sat back. “Well,” I said. “At least if you break my controller you won’t have to worry about that pesky ‘coming out’ bullshit.”

He laughed.

It was probably good that he thought I was joking.

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#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers & reader #captain america fanfic #avengers fanfic #reader insert #lunch buddy

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