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hobbitunderthemountain · 5 months

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thorin: it matters...why did [bilbo] come back? my dad: he signed a contract, that's why.

#contractually obligated #fuck friendship and the concept of home #family adventures #rewatching the hobbit #*auj

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sarakipin · 7 months

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Is this truly the future you wanted? 🦋

#contractually obligated to draw the twink in the suitcase #lies of p #carlo #my art #sara kipin #pinocchio

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catsharky · 1 year

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Presenting: King Sidon, his wife Queen Yona and his boyfriend Link.

Yona is very supportive of everything except Sidon forgetting his ceremony cues.

(I had an atrocious week and TotK has been coming in clutch for keeping me sane.)

#totk spoilers #loz totk #sidlink #link x sidon #totk yona #totk link #totk sidon #tears of the kingdom #I love Yona I adore her design oh my god #If I were to create a Zelda-sona it'd basically just be her with different clothes so I'm contractually obligated to love her #But Nintendo trying to give Sidon a case of the not-gays with her is hilarious #The man greets his fiancée like a coworker and then turns around to explode with adoration over Link in the same breath #This is either a Lavender Marriage or a case of 'every royal Zora finds Link irresistible'. I like both but prefer the former #Like. Yona meets Zelda once things are settled and gets all flustered and tongue tied #and neither Sidon or Link have any idea what's going on because they share 1 braincell #which is used exclusively for fighting really good #sharky art #zelda comic

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victorinoxghoul · 1 year

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pouring my entire soul into this art trade rn

#they talked to me about tunes I HAVE TO #I MUST #CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED #altas friend #fisherman's ramblings #``tanz metal`` yeah it sure is

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tadfools · 4 months

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Everything reminds me of him

Oh and also I love my fellow fags

#baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #baldur’s gate iii #astarion #astarion ancunin #ghoulhag I’m so sorry if you see this #and if anyone reads these tags you are contractually obligated to buy the next trans person you see a coffee or tea of their choosing #if you're trans and can see your reflection in your screen right now? You deserve a little treat go get yourself a hot cocoa #i love you very much

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marisatomay · 1 month

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Kind of in awe at how very casually brutal a read this is

#‘Tom Cruise is iconic and brilliant and irreplaceable unlike SOME people I’m no longer contractually obligated to like’#bitchy old men are so incredible

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montereybayaquarium · 1 year

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Would you still love us if we were a worm? 🥺👉👈

What’s cuter than sharing? Sharing is caring, after all, and no other muddy buddy does that better than the fat innkeeper worm (Urechis caupo). These seafloor superheroes burrow in the soft sediment of estuaries and earn their name by providing shelter, food, and even running water for their fellow members of the muck, like pea crabs, ghost shrimp, scale worms, and arrow gobies. They’re also a source of food for many other animals including leopard sharks and sea otters!

#monterey bay aquarium #fulfilling our contractual obligation to remind you once a year theyre also called penis fish #even though its neither a penis nor a fish #they do have golden butt spines so theres that!#fun facts to share at the dinner table tonight

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nottheeconomy · 6 months

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The beautifully dashing leader of the phantom thieves and the charming detective princess!

My take on fem shuake!!!

I like my toxic doomed yaoi but toxic doomed Yuri hits so much harder when it comes to these two

(Brainrot under the read more!)

If Shuake were girls they would be so much more volatile than canon it’s hilarious

Honestly if Akechi was born a girl instead of a boy his already terrible life would be twice as hard hahahaha

Fem Akechi would have a much harder time willingly refraining from directly murdering shido

Like canon Akechi is this close to just shooting him in the head anytime he sees him but fem Akechi would have so much more temptation to see him dead dead dead

She’s going to have to withstand his disgustingly sexist statements with a bright smile on her face as shido says things like “oh Akechi, you’re not like those other women that only serve to further this country’s great longevity through rearing the young, you’re different, more capable.” And she needs to let those slimy words go in one ear and out if she’s going to be patient enough for him to be elected first

Not to mention she’s going to experience so much more scrutiny as a public idol since she’ll be a girl

Like in canon he already has a questionable fanbase but just imagine the weirdos that’ll idolise her as the detective princess

And she’s definitely not going to be taken as seriously by people for her detective work because people would JUST WRITE HER OFF AS A PRETTY FACE!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA JUST THE THOUGHT OF HOW MUCH HARDER FEM AKECHI HAS TO CLIMB TO THE TOP TO GET TO WHERE SHE IS!!!!!

She’s going to curate every facet of her image to make sure people takes her as seriously as possible

Her style needs to be trendy but not too trendy or people would call her vain

She needs to be careful of showing too much skin or she’ll be slutshamed

She needs to word her statements more delicately or else people would call her annoying do you see the visionnnnnnnnn

Like canon Akechi’s public mask is already so tightly wound against his face, fem Akechi’s public mask would be a full suit of armour (get it get it? Hahahahhaha)

Meanwhile! If Akira was a girl, the notion of her being a meddler when she tries to stop shido would be much stronger I think

Also I have a feeling she’s going to get harassed at shujin for having her criminal record leaked instead of how in canon everyone left Akira alone due to fear since people won’t take her assault charge as seriously

And then there’s kamoshida…eugh

So in conclusion:

I just think both of them would have so much more pent up rage than in canon hahahahahha

Like I’m sure they would’ve physically thrown hands in the boiler room of shido’s ship, like forget about the personas they’re going to throttle each other as the rest of the thieves watch hahahahahahhaa

On the bright side though I can see fem Akechi being closer to Sae and the detective princess being a role model to little girls

Hm but I have a feeling the rivalry between Akechi and Akira would feel like those early 2010s tabloid articles about how female stars had beef with each other, like it’ll be framed as something super catty hahahahaha

Man these girlies are filled with so much anger, honestly it’ll be so iconic if Akechi and Akira were written as girls but I err don’t have that much trust in Altus!

These are just my silly headcanons for fem Shuake! If you disagree with what I said it’s ok hahahahaha

#persona 5 #Shuake #akeshu #goro Akechi #akira kurusu #fem Akechi #fem Akira #the economy is producing #to whoever that actually read that giant wall of text #you’re now contractually obliged to share your headcanons with me hahahahah #just kidding just kidding #…unless???

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crimetimesteadicam · 11 months

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for a fic i might write

#lupin iii #lupin the third #lupin the 3rd #fujilup #art #contractually obligated to write a fujilup story since i wrote one for the other two guys lmao

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bulldog-butch · 7 days

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i can be an animal for you 🐆

#how the hell do i still have tan lines???#i don’t think ive been out in the sun with a sports bra since october #comin’ outta my cage #i’m contractually obligated to take pics in my new underwear as soon as they come

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wonkyradio · 9 days

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Made myself a discord icon

Edit: Please do not use this for yourself without permission

#lawrence gordon #saw franchise #sawposting #saw #saw 2004 #my art #I'm working on more silent hill stuff promise. just. for personal reasons.#i am legally contractually obligated to post saw. sorry #the unending burden of being a lawrence gordon who didnt fuck up disasterously

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castiel-left-his-mark-on-me · 1 year

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Isn't great that for years, bibros have been like "Jensen and Misha only act that way as a PR stunt!"

And now here we are-- three years post-SPN, no PR to be had, and Jensen and Misha are still acting "that way" and then, in the ironic twist of the decade, Jensen goes on to say that his and Jared's friendship was actually PR!

God. I fucking love JIB.

#And I know that his whole #'contractually obligated'#answer was meant as a joke #but it didn't come off all that humorous #anyway #it's just delicious #I am full #I couldn't eat another bite #thank you JIB #my compliments to the chef #cockles #Jensen Ackles #Misha Collins #SPN #JIB11

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amiracleilluminated · 3 months

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