#context on the personal factors:

[yume-danshi]

Disclaimer: This is mainly me venting. I KNOW I'm biased due to personal factors, but I needed to get this off my chest.

Ever since Season 4 of Black Butler has been announced, I've been seeing a resurgence of Dad!Seb posts/content, and I just...

I understand simping for Sebastian, having AUs, all that - but when did we as a fandom start pretending he's not a soul hungry demon who'd eat OCiel the microsecond he got the chance? Did we all forget what happened in the Green Witch Arc, or...?

Sebastian isn't some loving demon who took pity and wanted to raise OCiel and love and protect him. He's a demon who made a contract with a human who happened to be a child, an Earl who needed said demon to take the guise of a butler. The other servants may love OCiel and want to protect him for having a hand in saving their lives, but Seb? Seb just wants dinner. We're reminded of that constantly.

Not to mention, OCiel doesn't trust him at all. One of Seb's literal contracted conditions is not to lie to him, not to betray him. You think if OCiel trusted Seb that he'd have done that? If memory serves, there's a number of times OCiel states, very plainly, that he doesn't trust Sebastian at all. Again, I'll reference the Green Witch chapters even if OCiel wasn't exactly clear minded for that - no spoilers, but manga fans will hopefully know what I'm talking about.

My point is, OCiel doesn't trust Sebastian. Sebastian doesn't see OCiel as his kid who needs to be protected. They both know exactly what their arrangements are, and both of them want it done and over with. OCiel isn't drawing it out, he's trying to fulfill his revenge as close to "on his own" as a literal child can, and utilizing the demon he has while he also balances his duties as an Earl (albeit poorly in some cases). The only reason he keeps Sebastian around is the contract, and the only reason Sebastian hasn't eaten him yet is because the terms of said contract aren't complete.

So please, can we at least acknowledge that Dad!Bastian is just an AU? Please? Cause it really makes me sick to see people saying Seb genuinely cares for OCiel like that.

#black butler #kuroshitsuji #ciel phantomhive #ociel #sebastian michaelis #sebciel #dadbastian #dad!sebastian #these tags are for reach #and nothing else #this post is neither pro nor anti ship #I'm anti bullshit #so if you wanna start a ship war #don't waste your time on me bc I'll just block and ignore you #or just troll you depending on my mood #context on the personal factors: #i have a fictional introject of OCiel and hes tired of seeing people say Seb cares for him when he knows damn well that aint the case #and also #i actually read the manga #all of you saying seb is dad #tbh #not to sound anti #but yall are gross #and i really want nothing to do with people who see how seb acts toward ociel and still opt to say thats genuine affection or love #if yall 100% really no irony believe that #then you need therapy

[anghraine]

This is unnecessarily long, but: I was just thinking about Wickham's predation on fifteen-year-old Georgiana Darcy and then, almost exactly a year later, Wickham's predation on sixteen-year-old Lydia Bennet.

There are obvious parallels between the two incidents. In fact, they're so obvious that I think the incidents are sometimes treated as equivalent, with the consequences only differing by happenstance. I don't think that's true, personally.

There are some mechanistic sort of differences—Wickham put a lot more effort and planning into the Georgiana situation. He wanted to marry her for her money and to make her brother suffer. She had to be isolated from people who would look out for her interests, he had Mrs Younge in place, he had known Georgiana as a child and was able to exploit his own previous kindness to her as her father's godson, etc.

And Georgiana, despite all of this, and despite being swept away by a teenage infatuation with an extremely attractive man, was still uncomfortable with it. She was worried about disappointing a brother who raised her and whom she deeply loves and admires. When her brother actually showed up by surprise, she decided to tell him everything; Darcy takes pains to give her credit for this. Adaptations generally downplay Georgiana's active decision-making here, but the only element of chance is Darcy deciding to go to Ramsgate at all. He insists that he was only able to act because Georgiana chose to tell him what was going on.

This isn't meant to be an indictment of Lydia, though. Does she admire the parents who raised her? No. But why would she? Especially why would she admire a father who treats her mother and sisters and herself with profound contempt and no sense of responsibility? Why would she ever confide in him?

It's not like Lydia doesn't confide in anyone. In fact, she too confides in an older sibling, her sister Kitty. And in one sense, her trust in Kitty is not undeserved. Kitty does keep the secret. Presumably, she does this because, despite her occasional annoyance with Lydia, she is very much under her influence and goes along with whatever Lydia does. Regardless, she is trustworthy in that sense. Moreover, we see at the end of the book that Kitty is easily improved by being placed in better environments and taught how to behave. She just didn't know better.

How was she going to judge Lydia's situation correctly? Who was teaching her to judge anything correctly? Certainly not their parents.

If Mr Bennet had bothered to interest himself in his younger daughters and try and influence them for the better, impressionable Kitty is probably the one who would have benefited the most. The whole Lydia/Wickham thing would have fallen apart before it went anywhere if all the girls had been been properly raised, even if Lydia did exactly the same things.

And Lydia likely wouldn't do the same things if she'd been brought up properly and, you know, treated with a baseline of respect rather than being openly mocked by her father, the person most able to affect her development. Instead, at barely sixteen, she's been continually rejected by her father, over-indulged by her mother, and flattered by adult men (28-y-o Darcy says he and Wickham are nearly the same age). And she still tells someone what's going on, even though she doesn't care about her parents' opinions or the consequences of her actions. And she was under the protection of a colonel and his wife at the time, who also could have told someone or acted, and didn't.

It's not that nobody could have done anything about the Lydia/Wickham situation. It's that nobody did until Darcy found out and tried to extract her. But it was, in one sense, too late. To Lydia, he's just some unfun acquaintance who says boring things like "go home to your family and I'll do what I can to cover for you." That is, he tries to do what he did for Georgiana.

But Lydia is not Georgiana—she did not choose to tell him about any of this. She did not want to be extracted because she didn't know and couldn't be quickly made to understand what marriage to Wickham would mean in the long term. And she didn't care what her family thought because she had no reason to, pragmatically or psychologically.

Georgiana, otoh, did care about her family's welfare and the good opinion and affection of the head of her family. But despite their radical differences in personality, the most fundamental difference between the girls IMO is that Georgiana had every reason to believe that disappointing Darcy and losing his respect would be a change from the norm.

Normally he is affectionate and attentive towards her. They write each other long letters, he defends her to other family members, and praises her frequently. Georgiana, quiet and intimidated though she may be, talks more when he's around. Disappointing him had actual stakes for her.

Put another way, the potential loss of his good opinion mattered to her because he's gone to the trouble of raising her as well as he can and forming a good relationship with her. She chose to tell Darcy the whole thing because he had earned her affection and trust in a way that Mr Bennet has utterly failed to do. Even Darcy happening to visit Georgiana at Ramsgate comes from his affection and attention to Georgiana's welfare, even if he couldn't have known what would follow from checking on his sister at that particular moment.

Chance is always part of life, and it's part of the novel and these situations. But a lot of how these scenarios wound out was not determined by chance but by long-existing patterns in these girls' educations and relationships.

#this actually spun off from a different post about the contrast between darcy and mr bennet #they're alike in some ways but it only makes the differences all the more glaring #and i don't think we see that more than in how they conduct themselves towards the young girls in their care #and in the drastic consequences of how they educate and relate to those girls #georgiana and lydia made choices but there's a point at which harping on choice!!! and personal responsibility!! doesn't have much value #and the contributing factors and context of those choices matter so much more #anghraine babbles #long post #austen blogging #austen fanwank #georgiana darcy #lydia bennet #fitzwilliam darcy #george wickham #mr bennet #catherine bennet #some unflattering references to mrs bennet but this is more of a mr bennet hate post :)

[zvaigzdelasas]

ppl who are trying to do explainers abt current events in DRCongo are rly imo doing a massive disservice to ppls understandings without talking abt the regional context of DRCongo being where regional tensions have boiled over regularly - see Both Congo Wars - as well as putting M23 - as well as those wars - in the context of Rwandan/Burundian Genocides & the dispersion of Tutsi militias (see also: CNDP) in & around the Kivu regions since then - but also even Rwandan Hutu militias (see FDLR)

#i havent rly read enough m23 statements to rly have a good feel on their intentions #so not going to rly say whether or not genocidal is applicable #but there are also regional historical and geopolitical factors #idk rly dissatisfied w how a lot of conflicts get overly simplified like this #and reductive in just a template sorta way #like if u wanna say m23 is genocidal and if this is all just a hamfisted abstraction of israel #one might think theres a potent point to be made with rwandan/Tutsi genocide victims becoming genocidaires #the fact i havent seen a single person make that analogy rly highlights how surface level this all is #like even if idk if i agree w the analogy at least it betrays context awareness #also potent historical point of comparison in drcongo itself w european backing of the katanga crisis #had a post like 6 months ago w more contextualizing the conflict re: congo wars i should try and find it #like. if you wanna talk about complex politics congos much much more complex than israel-palestine

[aydascomprehendsubtext]

Ive been trying to collect my thoughts for like two weeks now on what sally reed’s real happy ending would look like and I have found absolutely no answer but it is I think helpful in understanding what’s going on with her last episode before she agrees to go with barry.

Because it’s an absolutely bonkers decision and we see absolutely none of her deliberation really - in fact she has a connection with an agent and might be able to get some minor roles! So it’s kind of surprising when you see her decide to go to her home where you both know he is. Like it’s weird! Until you remember Barry is about how the entire entertainment industry is inescapably exploitative especially towards women. The thing is that Sally wants to be famous but tied up in that is needing to feel safe and powerful. Its not worth disentangling the two theyre co-constitutive. And with Joplin? When she was her own boss with recognition and power? It was taken away from her in a heartbeat and there was no recourse. And she’s furious because she thinks if she’s just good enough and if she works hard she should be owed it. And if someone else like Natalie or Barry gets it she can’t handle it.

And so her entire subplot in episode 4 is in this frame the most concise perfect storytelling. She gets back and is so close to the Thing that will Make it Better, it’s the moving and fame and production and the lights flare. And then she meets a famous oscar-winning director who’s working on a project she hates, with actors cast to be conventionally beautiful and a nonsense plot and 90% green screen. And Sally acts for her, assuming that being good will actually get you something, and fails! (Don’t EVEN get me started on the gender politics here. the only man is the agent offering her a gig but it also doesn’t move the needle because women in barry do misogyny too)

So the realization that HAS to come is that this is futile. She will absolutely never be powerful without someone holding a trapdoor that can take it all away. You can direct CODA and you’ll still be stuck here. She will never be safe. And she can’t go home. So after that, well. Barry.

#as a person for whom straight patriarchy has just a low emotional valence #(ie. it factors into my conscious day to day experience very little even as it has enormous unseen impacts) #barry is genuinely a ridiculously good portrayal of it #its fairly isolated to a specific context (white entertainment gender politics) #so like. outside of LA the idea that sally reed is too ugly for fame is very very silly #but its so enmeshed in that context that it scans. it doesn't reach. its about entertainment and it knows it #barry hbo #this is too long but im on my laptop so typing is too easy and. yknow. sally

[gxlden-angels]

"The notion of personal responsibility in fundamentalism is a curious one. You are responsible for your sins, but you cannot take credit for the good things that you do. Any good that you do must be attributed to God working through you. Yet you must try to be Christ-like. When you fail, it is your fault for not 'letting the power of God work in you.' This is an effective double bind of responsibility without ability."

- Marlene Winell, Ph.D, Leaving the Fold (1993)

#Okay so I'm in therapy now and we're starting to get into my religious trauma and I've been researching a lot #I'm supposed to be working on seeing myself as a good person #and this is a major factor preventing me from doing that #even though I no longer actually believe in Sins in the christian context of the word #I know I am capable of doing good things but had the assumption the bad would be washed away #so now I have a lot of guilt about the ability to be bad/evil/'sinful' despite knowing I am a good person #essentially I have anxiety about not having Jesus stop me from being evil even though I don't want to be evil and can make that choice mysel #myself* #the capability is the scary part #ex christian #religious trauma

[emblemxeno]

Did you enjoyed Engage story more than 3H or less ? if so why and if not why ?

I enjoyed it more.

Ultimately, for all of 3H's in-depth prose regarding characters and some really hard hitting story beats, it fails to cement itself as a story I can enjoy because it lacks focus, cohesion, and respect for itself. There's too many plot threads that can go unanswered and characters that are treated as important are otherwise shafted (Rhea especially). The biggest reason though, is that for all of it's lore and worldbuilding, IMO it 1) fails to incorporate any of it in a way that's exciting in a gameplay medium 2) due to the monastery being static and centralized, the world doesn't actually feel lived in and 3) serves little purpose other than to be lore for lore's sake. The backdrop feels artificial, and does little to buoy the story when it needs help, especially since character dialogue can feel overtly bittersweet and melodramatic (I can only hear about the "horrors of war" so many times before it becomes incredibly annoying and lowkey disregarding the player's own intelligence to infer anything for themselves).

Engage meanwhile, though not "deep" in the sense that you're gonna get extreme political intrigue and similar things akin to what most expect (to a sometimes unreasonable degree) for a war story, it hits the marks it wants to and respects itself as a story. It knows it's a story about overcoming fear and despair, found family, self actualization, and being true to who you want to be no matter where you come from, and doesn't stray from that goal. I never feel like a blatant audience member looking into a story as the characters exposit at me, instead I feel genuinely engrossed in what's happening to Alear and the world of Elyos as a whole. And like, people can complain about things like Zephia, Griss, and Sombron having "sad" backstories, but I'd rather have the cliche "they were evil cuz they were sad and just wanted companionship" than the constant Edelgard sympathy the game throws at me as if I'm either 1) unable to comprehend morally gray storytelling or 2) a person who wants to hear that a violent, imperialistic war is being led by someone who "isn't evil ackshully."

And in general, as an FE fan, while I don't like to limit each individual game by precedents set by past entries, 3H and Engage both take story inspiration from previous entries, and the latter, y'know. Is good at it and the former isn't. I can't take 3H's attempts at plot threads of racism/xenophobia, social hierarchy, and grand politicking seriously when it fumbles the landing despite previous FE games sticking said landing just fine. On the flip side, I can take Engage more seriously when it asks me too, because the character driven, save-the-world narrative is something that it does well consistently, like most FE games before it.

#fire emblem discourse #there's also personal taste factoring in as well #like how 3H's character writing is pretty misogynistic ableist and racist when out of context #and even within context it can look as if it's excusing itself half the time #but again that's personal taste

[rigelmejo]

The only language studying advice I’ve got that matters much, as in isn’t take or leave (because most advice really depends on the person and their preferences for how to study), is this:

if you study for enough cumulative hours, and are regularly spending study time on some new material that is requiring you to learn something (compared to picking 1 study material and reviewing it but never ever moving onto a new material with unknowns you must learn), you will make progress. 

Most people, eventually, will move onto studying something regularly challenging them with new material to learn. Usually when they realize they weren’t learning anything new long enough. (I’m a perfectionist so I perhaps realize slower than some people when I’m reviewing material to the point of refusing to move onto new challenging material that would provide more to new stuff to learn). So for the most part, as long as you just study Enough Hours, you will eventually make progress. 

There’s no fancy perfect or ‘better’ study method. Maybe there is for you personally. So it could be fun to explore various study methods. But in the end it mostly comes down to time spent studying. So WHATEVER study methods are ones you can do, and keep getting yourself to do, are the BEST ones for you to make progress with. (And its fine to change study methods if it gets you to KEEP studying). Because in the end, its going to be hundreds or thousands of hours you just need to spend reviewing what you’ve learned by practicing with it, and studying new stuff to increase what you know.

People like to argue sometimes that textbook study is best, or classroom study, or tutors, or immersion, flashcards, mnemonics, context learning, drills, audio lessons, etc. Pick whatever you can stick to, change it if you realize now you can get yourself to Do something else easier. If textbooks are something you get yourself to do, then do them. If you refuse to open textbooks you buy, then use something you WILL use more often. Whatever you pick will work if you put in the study hours. 

TLDR: the best study methods for YOU are the ones you will do, because the amount of total study time you put in is the biggest thing influencing if you make progress. 

Don’t worry too much about if your study method is perfect or if another would be ‘better.’ If you feel like switching it up, have fun. If you feel a method you’d hate looks effective, if you won’t do it then it wouldn’t be effective anyway.

*Note: if you have perfectionist tendencies or tend to stick to trying to master current materials (my worst tendency), my personal suggestion is maybe try to make sure 50% of your study time is spent on something containing Something new and challenging. To make sure you’re regularly making some progress in learning new material. (Examples: if you have read a graded reader then listening to the audiobook would provide at least 1 new thing to challenge yourself and learn - listening skills of those words you read, if you find a new novel chapter with mostly known words but a few new ones - it has some new words to learn and new sentences combinations of words you know, if you are listening to review of something you entirely know and can comprehend in listening then consider trying to shadow the audio so you can challenge yourself with new pronunciation practice, and of course stuff like reading a book/watching a show with a bunch of new words or having a conversation in a new topic would contain new challenging material to learn). 

#rant #90% of reddit language forums drama comes down to the arguement of what works 'best' #in reality most people who fail to learn a language fail because they give up before they put 500 hours - 2500 hours into it #so the most important factor of if you will succeed if if you will simply KEEP studying #so pick whatever you'll keep doing! #classrooms/tutors work well for people who like to be held accountable by a teacher #learning by context works well for me because it requires me to run into new material to learn and lets me learn by Doing which is what i #personally prefer. audio lessons work GREAT if you listen to stuff a lot while commuting/exercising #drills work Great if you do them! its just some people refuse to do them so of course they wouldnt work if you arent doing them #learning by reading works but only if you WILL read the amount it requires #and i only mention the *must regularly study something new* part #because as a perfectionist. in japanese i literally reviewed 300 kanji for TWO YEARS STRAIGHT refusing to study anything else out of fear #i wasnt prepared for ANYTHING else until i MASTERED the 300 basic kanji #so u know what happened? i only learned the 300 kanji. nothing else. in tons of hours. in at LEAST 700 hours of study #in retrospect. i know i could have learned at least 2000 words. at least 1000 kanji. at least basic reading ability with a dictionary #in 700 hours. if i had actually regularly been studying new challenging material as at least 50% of my study time #so as a person with perfectionist tendencies. i personally need 50% or more of all study time to always have SOME new content to learn

[nerdnag]

I keep finding it so uncomfortable when people differentiate between women and men in my surroundings, and assume that some people are men and some are women. It's uncomfortable both because what if someone doesn't identify with whatever gender they may look like, and because why is it an important distinction in the first place?

Granted, there may be circumstances where it's relevant, but for context let me list some examples of what I mean. These are examples that I've experienced in the recent weeks:

When playing a game that requires two teams, someone suggested that the women should play against the men, and then when this ended up being the case, regular jokes were being made related to gender whenever someone made a bad play

At lunch, someone said "looks like we're all women here today"

Whenever someone who presents as a man has done something stupid or whatever (whether a celebrity or just a regular person), it's common for people to tie that stupidity to the fact that the person is "a man". This seems like a tactic that's sometimes used in order to gain social benefit with women. For example, ending a story about something stupid someone did by going, "ugh, men"

It's also common to hear people mention someone's gender in a story they're telling as though the gender is relevant to the story, when usually it really isn't relevant at all. For example, "... and then she did X and Y, which isn't strange at all because she's a woman, and then he said Z ..."

I know these are innocent things people do and say, and they likely aren't even aware that it can be uncomfortable for some people. Maybe for people who strongly identify as either gender it can even be affirming to have people say these things. I just wish I knew a good way to say that it's making me uncomfortable without having it become a big thing or making them think I'm overreacting

#part of it is definitely because I'm starting to think that the distinction is useless in most contexts #But I'm also wondering what this says about my own gender identity #I still haven't figured out whether I do identify as some variant of nb or not #It might honestly just be that I'm uncomfortable about being lumped into a group based on a factor I deem irrelevant #But idk? I wish it was easy to figure out my own identity. Sigh #Maybe I just want to be part of a group without having to be arbitrarily lumped in with others based on how I look #I'm reading a book rn btw which takes place in a future where gender identity is never assumed #Whenever a new person is introduced the they/them pronouns are used until that person's specific gender identity is presented #The author describes people based on aspects of their appearance but the gender identity doesn't always correlate with appearance #So appearances that today are commonly viewed as 'male' or 'female' do not always correlate with people's actual gender identity #And it's deemed disrespectful to assume gender identity when it's not been confirmed yet #I haven't read very far yet but there's been one scene where a person did assume someone's gender identity #And it was presented in the book as 'wow this person is an asshole who assumes gender identity in order to insult me' #I think it's so refreshing to read #The book is called The Spare Man. Written by Mary Robinette Kowal #Anyway gender norms are annoying 😔 #nagnerd #Genndar

[girl-bateman]

Some days I'm pretty content with my childhood other days I'm ripping my hair out because it just doesn't add up !! someone is hiding things from me !! I don't trust anyone !!

#im studying 'family as a psycosocial context' rn and its been pretty interesting! #and i was talking to my mom an article with an evolutionary perspective #bc we've talked before abt how this area of psychology can come off as dismissive abt socioeconomic factors & put unfair pressure on mothers #so i brought it up bc the paper didnt define parenting in terms of good/bad which was interesting ! #but then at the end i said something abt 'the article talks abt abuse which obviously isnt relevant for me' #and she wouldnt answer me but her eyes were all watery and weird and I DONT LIKE THAT #like girl 😟 i was coming to terms with the occasional childhood neglect but abuse ? dont even tell me that bc what #like i know things werent perfect for me growing up but i hate how weird my mom is abt everything #and she starts crying if we get too much into it so i feel a little bad bringing it up #i also feel like when i do get new information abt something in my past it always makes me have a crisis #so maybe its just not worth it ? #bc i do feel like im in a rly good place rn and i dont need to know if i was 'abused' whatever that means #what i do know is bad enough and makes me sad as it is #i think the reason i get so paranoid abt it is because i have trouble remembering the stuff that has been told to me #and some vague things i do remember have been refuted ? so i cant rly trust my own memory #but idk if i can trust anyone else either #i mean i do trust my mom generally but shes so emotional and guilt-prone that im not sure what to believe #what i do know for sure is that there is a lot shes holding back in terms of what shes told me #which i dint love tbh #personal

[ninjagirlstar5]

Your redesign for Akane (Especially her Despair design) is probably the tamest of all the Akane redesigns I've ever seen, and I say that bc like, the 90% of Despair!Akane redesigns I've seen not only take away her apron, choker and headdress, they completely destroy her uniform.

Like, with the absolutely long skirts those redesigns give her, I can understand her breaking a side of it to have better maneuvering (So she can do all those jumps and flips in Chapter 6), but a lot of them just break her uniform so much that it looks like she went through Kirumi's execution and lived.

I...did not expect to learn that these kinds of redesigns for Akane exists. Like, ripping a part of the skirt for better maneuvering, especially if it's a very long one, makes a little bit of sense considering the amount of jumps and flips she does in Chapter 6. But destroying her uniform to the point that she ends up revealing so much skin just like in Kirumi's execution??? That's actually kinda...disturbing to me. Because the DRA cast/79th class is (most likely) younger than the cast from the first canon Danganronpa game, and since it's implied that not a lot of time passed before the Tragedy struck and they got wrapped up in their own killing game, they'd still be fairly young. Which means that they're most likely minors.

It's not as if you can't do fan-service in a character design, especially if it fits their character and personality. It's just that there are some things you really need to consider before actually going through with that type of design, like, say, how old a character is. At the very least, if the teenage character is flirtatious or is confident in their body, tone it down so that the design is believable without making them look like they're dressed like this for the audience (and maybe even the creator) to gawk at like they're candy. It's just...gross, man.

#Asks #Star Talks #DRA #Akane Taira #Danganronpa Another #DRA Spoilers #this isn't just a danganronpa problem either #it's a common issue in many anime alike #and even when the characters aren't minors #they put them in outfits that don't really suit their personalities #or type of characters #just for the sake of fanservice #i know gap moe is a thing #and I enjoy seeing it too #but only when it's done correctly #Kakeru is a pretty good example of this #despite how lackluster his character is due to how he's written #and frankly I consider fanservice (in this context) to be separate from the gap moe factor #as I associate it with flirtatiousness/sexiness #and how much skin is revealed #and don't even get me started on the ridiculous and convoluted ways #that anime will put their characters in #for the sake of showing off fanservice

[notjanine]

people have assumed i’m queer my entire life, but nowadays i’m getting they/themmed on the regular and it’s fine, but it’s also interesting bc gender has always been the one fundamental aspect of my identity that isn’t constantly misperceived, so now it’s kinda. oh i am just not being Seen at all huh.

#see i am a 31 year old cishet disabled autistic black woman and now. well #i may speak with someone who does not clock any of those things #and i am stuck in this loop of constantly having to remember who knows what about me and is this something i need to disclose and #what will happen if i do disclose something how will the person i’m speaking to react #idk it’s all just. interesting. and ngl tiring #bc people will question or even argue with me about these basic things! #even people who are not strangers! #and it’s also a little extra complicated dating a nb person so now in a given situation either or both of us may get misgendered #and doing THAT social calculus is a little extra stressful (esp factoring in when *i* have to misgender them in certain contexts) #like i get it for me like i have a ~man’s name~ and i don’t try to perform gender and i purposely dress to be less appealing to men #but anyway idk this is just new and interesting and i don’t have a therapist to process it with rn lmao #anyway. me 🤝 misha collins. having to come out as straight

[ravenousgf]

does anyone have good wesper fic recs i am desperate

#ive gone down SO many rabbit holes and for the ship thats easiest to write in soc. it is shocking how often ppl get them so so wrong #like they cover the surface factors of jesper being flirty ; his adhd ; wylan's disability ; jan van eck's abuse etc but #literally everything else that their relationship is shaped around: everything that lends context and color to those characteristics #is wiped out #bc its far harder to get right in AUs #i would like a fic that isnt making light of the massive (and concerning) power dynamics looming in jesper's move w wylan #and wylan's move into his father's house #like. that is LITERALLY a haunted house he is literally becoming his father (i.e. taking his place) #and most fics just scrap that part . which . understandable #but fics that have wylan be the one to ''rein jesper in'' or exert control over him in any form by doing ''whats best for him'' . whoo boy #extremely icy territory for me personally #esp wrt to jespers addiction which soo many people just . dont write #and all that is if wylan isnt infantilized in the first place #obviously its totally up to the authors and many of these fics r super fun i am just Some Guy i just. also want the messy dark ones #exploring power and perception and financial dependence and addiction #bc there seem to be absolutely none of those when it comes to wesper #anyway. maintagging in the hopes ill get recs #six of crows #jesper fahey #wylan van eck

[technoxenoholic]

anyway. i think more people need to stop reacting to "this post leaves out people like xyz" type additions with "i'm literally xyz shut up!" when the post itself literally does not mention people like xyz even once and reads as though people who are like xyz were not even considered. like, just because you are xyz doesn't mean that's clear in your post. people are not automatically accusing you of hating or not caring about people like xyz for bringing up that a specific post leaves them out. (and also people are not reading every inch of your blog before responding to a one-off post they encountered on someone else's blog.)

if you make a post about abc and leave out xyz, then people who live at the intersection of abc and xyz are allowed to mention that the intersection exists. just because you also live at that intersection but didn't point it out doesn't mean people are attacking you or whatever.

whatever happened to assuming "yes, and"? why does everyone assume (and react in kind with) "no, fuck you" nowadays?

#stfu blue #this is about that person who threw a fit over my addition to their post about considering mobility aids #like. there was not an iota of text WITHIN THE POST that addressed the intersection of disability and Being Poor #just said if you're considering mobility aids you're probably only considering a cane bc of internalized ableism/not feeling 'bad enough' #and like. it didn't seem complete! the post *as written* implied that internalized ableism was the only reason someone would choose a cane #over a better-suited mobility aid! there was nothing IN THE POST that said otherwise or even acknowledged there may be other reasons! #like fuck do you really think a fellow disabled person has the fucking spoons to check every fucking post on every blog on this website #before making 'here is an additional factor to consider _that your post did not mention_' additions #on a website where people routinely forget that some people are in fact poor and do not have money or access to support. #i wasn't even talking to the op is what gets me. i was adding additional context to the bigger picture for people reading my posts #if i'm addressing op i'm going to say 'op'. otherwise you can safely assume i am talking into the void or to my friends or something

[jrueships]

IHATE men REAL

#random vent but SPECIFICALLY Those kind of very Traditional christian men who think all the opinions they say ever #are automically Right and therefore Virtuous because one word in the bible fit into that self-important narrative #like they spot a Random Woman and be like 'ah yes. my time to mansplain what her place and actions should be according to Da Bible #written in. the oonga boonga where slaves were hashtag awesome if u were just hashtag awesome 2 them #yes surely there is no context omitted or need to be taken into account here when i apply Past Marginalized to The Modern Marginalized #like CAN U JUST BE NORMAL!!!! FOR FIVE FUCKING SECONDS!!!! #mfer it is. 7pm. in a cafe with Sticky Tables #ANYWAYS i know the pick me girl hate is understandable but can we also talk abt the factors that play into itt like!! #'Good Christian Men Good Husband Good Future' men LOVE to talk about Their 'Appreciation' of a 'Modest Woman' #bring out random bible verse number 1million and make it play into their argument now abt nowtimes #that the Good woman the 'humble' woman shouldnt wear makeup or whatever IDK????? #BUT THEN THE SAME FUCKIN GUY THE SAME FUCKIN DAY INSULTED A GIRL FOR NOT WEARING ANY MAKEUP SAYING #'she looks like she doesnt take care of herself' mfer is she still BREATHING???? MIND UR FUCKIN BUSINESS!!! #mind ur BUSINESS with the MAKEUP mind ur BUSINESS with the WOMEN just mind ur FUCKIN business SHUT THE SHITUP!!!! #and they expect me to agree like i know im asexual but that doesnt mean i always wanna converse with someone who gets none #leave me. alone 😑 #AND LEAVE THOSE FUCKIN WOMEN ALONE!!!!!! not cus im a 'woman protector' oo let me hold ur drink maam #it's literally just. the act of. being a Normal Person going about your Normal Day minding your NORMAL FUCKIN BUSINESS!!! #anyways back to my rehab session (mental)

[nellectronic]

LMAO WHO RATED DMSO ONE STAR ON SIGMA ALDRICH

#do you just hate dmso in general? #did sigma specifically give you shitty quality solvent? #are you just salty about your experiments going wrong? #do you actually think your rating is going to factor into anyone’s decision to buy their chemicals from sigma? #this is fucking hilarious #also for context this is the only rating for dmso on sigma aldrich #only one person took the time to rate this specific solvent and they rated it ONE STAR #personally i have no opinions on dmso in general or sigma-aldrich brand dmso i just think this is really funny #screams into the void

[hippo-pot]

twice in the past couple days my husband has done something that i thought was embarrassing, like i was embarrassed for him afterwards, but he wasn't embarrassed. my response was basically 'well he shouldn't have to be embarrassed just because i am, like why make him feel bad? let's spare him my feeling of embarrassment' so i didn't tell him that was how i was feeling

but now that it's happened the second time i'm like... i think he's actually just living this aspect of his life way better than me. like yeah, okay, fixing the problem and moving on IS better than obsessing over it. huh

#me voice: you mean someone corrected you and you simply took the correction and moved on? #huh???? #idk quite what to do with this but man. i hope i can. do something with it #i would like to be less of a pathetic cowering mess when anything goes wrong #and not to live in anticipation of things going wrong or make all my choices by factoring in the likelihood of embarrassment #it's so funny like i didn't even realize this was a character flaw i had til i saw someone Not Having It #it is context dependent though. like i think everyone worries disproportionately about different things #just happened to see two of my personal Worry Situations one after another #or is this more pervasive in my life than i think! i'll just have to keep tuning in and see what's what