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pinkhairandpokemon · 1 year

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Introduction Post

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I’M A BAD BITCH YOU CAN’T KILL ME!

hiya! name's Blake. you might recognize me, you might not. rotomblr is confusing with all the multiverse stuff. basically, I'm an ex-champion who's kinda just doing my own thing now. saved the world a few times. met a few gods. y'know, the usual. I even died once! technically. oh, and I’m a university student at Blueberry Academy! mostly here to post about my Pokémon- but my friends Hop and Auberi have access to this blog too, so you might see them on here occasionally.

also!! I have a wonderful partner here’s his blog: @thunderblessedhero I love him sm

that's pretty much all you need to know, I think! signing out!

-Blake

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Auberi Bellerose- 21, they/them, demisexual/greyromantic

Hop Laventon- 20, he/him, asexual/biromantic

Blake- 20, they/them, pansexual/demiromantic

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Current Arc: N/A

OOC: hi! I’m Wren and uHhh this is my first pkmn RP blog. Originally I was gonna make an Eternatus one but I thought it’d be more fun to make one for my OC,, but I might still make the Eternatus one if this one goes well. my main pkmn blog is @xgoldenlatiasx (but i like and follow from @/flightmare-kid)

(update: prolly not gonna make the Eternatus blog lol. for right now at least. I have enough blogs as it is now)

also: in-character mean interactions are welcome. beat their ass

other rp blogs: @thunderblessedhero @partnersintime @scarlet-rider @pokehorsegirl @bisharpenjoyer @dragontamerhiccup @coolguyhilbert @keldeochamp1on @weirdcelebi @sapphireseafarer @justanothercastelian

Warnings: things won’t get TOO extremely dark or serious on this blog for now, there will be a lot of swearing though. Also all the characters are around 19-20, there won’t ever be anything explicit but they’ll probably make stupid dick jokes at worst. Specifically Blake and probably Auberi sometimes. I’ll tag stuff like that as #tw nsfw joke and/or #tw suggestive.

Info about my OC:

basically Blake is my protag in several pkmn games, specifically SW/SH, X/Y, and B/W! the timeline of those games’ stories are in that specific order in my OCverse. (Pretty much any semblance of a canon timeline in the games is destroyed in my OCverse, except for any games w/ sequels like Gen1/Gen2 or BW/BW2. I’ll probably put together a proper timeline eventually, but essentially it’s just in the order I played all the games. Rn that order is FRLG -> HGSS -> SM -> ORAS -> SWSH -> XY -> DPPT/BDSP -> BW -> PLA -> SV -> BW2)

Bio: Blake was born in Nuvema Town, where they lived until they were around seven before moving to Aspertia City. They lived there until they were about thirteen, before moving to Postwick in the Galar region with their mother. There, they met one of their best friends, Hop. At the time, Blake was super closed off and shy, as their social anxiety made making friends difficult. The only one they’ve ever really let their guard down with was Hop. Watching Leon’s matches on TV with Hop was what inspired them to become a trainer, though for many years they didn’t actually think it’d be possible for them- considering they came from a family who didn’t really like Pokemon, therefore they had nowhere near as much experience with them like Hop did. They feared their social anxiety would get in the way, too.

Once they were 16, they unexpectedly got their first Pokemon from Leon- a Sobble named Kappa. After getting endorsed by Leon and some encouragement from Hop, they agreed to sign up for the Gym Challenge. They had a rocky start- losing battles pretty frequently was putting a huge dent in their already low self-esteem, and it was impacting Kappa as well. But over time they learned the ropes of being a trainer and was quickly becoming a rising star amongst the Gym Challengers. They went on to stop the Darkest Day along with Hop, catch Eternatus, become champion, and earn the trust of Zacian.

During their reign as champion, they trained at the Isle of Armor and explored the Crown Tundra. These small adventures slowly helped them realize just how much pressure their title was putting on them- and finally caused them to slip up during the final match of the next year’s Gym Challenge.

After losing their title, they decided to look for a new path- which lead them to Kalos, where they helped in putting a stop to Team Flare’s plan and caught Yveltal, and eventually back to Unova, where they fought against Team Plasma alongside Reshiram. Following the defeat of Plasma, they’ve enrolled as a college student at Blueberry Academy- and have done quite a lot in the past two years, such as visiting the Paldea region and catching more Pokémon. Now, they’ve returned to Unova, and are resting after having helped in the fight against Kyurem.

Blake is also the main character in my comics, Adventures in Kalos (on my instagram @/xgolden_latiasx) and Unova Fates (on Tumblr, insta, and webtoon). This blog will probably contain spoilers for those comics!

More rules/info/explanations/etc.:

All three of these characters are friends with multiple legendaries, so if they seem overpowered to you… sorry? I’m just having fun over here. They don’t really use any of them for battle that often, though they might threaten to sic their legendary on someone as a joke (but they won’t actually). But as of right now the only legendary that’s actively with the group is Reshiram, he’s the only one who’ll get involved in whatever shenanigans/event the gang finds themselves in. (Unless I’m participating in an event from another person and they say they don’t want Reshiram involved.)

I’m relatively willing to join in on high stakes stuff as long as I feel up to it, but please ask me first if you want one of my characters to actively participate somehow.

Also, this blog runs with the idea that Rotomblr is a weird site that links other universes together. So for example say if… Kalos is blowing up or something on another person’s blog and someone tries to get Auberi involved, I’m just going to say it’s happening in a different universe. Or if a different SWSH/XY/BW/PLA protag character tries to interact.

Please also understand that I have realllllly bad social anxiety and awkwardness. I apologize if it takes me a while to respond to something, or if my replies seem short and uninterested (I promise I’m interested in the conversation I’m just bad at words). Or long and ramble-y. Please tell me to shut the fuck up if you need me to.

Past arcs/plot lines:

#Storyline: Haunting Regrets (Explanation of Auberi’s past)

#Story Event: The Calm Before The Storm (Set up for a future arc)

#Story Arc: The Press Conference (This arc was discontinued, but I didn’t really feel like going back and deleting all the tags so it IS still canon but nothing important happened.)

#Typing Through Time (Mini event where a pair of mysterious siblings, supposedly from the future, take over the blog to document their search for a special Celebi.)

#Interlude Arc (BW2 event.)

#PB Takeover (Takeover of a version of Blake that joined Team Plasma.)

List of everyone’s Pokémon (will probs be updated frequently):

Blake:

-Kappa (M Inteleon)

-Go-Go (F Coalossal)

-Venom (M Toxtricity)

-Charlie (M Boltund)

-Jeanne (F Corviknight)

-Lancelot (M Sirfetch’d)

-Athena (F Urshifu)

-Tulip (F Venusaur)

-Lizzie (F Charizard)

-Tater (F Flapple)

-Potato (M Galarian Slowpoke)

-Audun (M Flygon)

-Zuzu (F Dragapult)

-Azi (F Dreepy)

-Shiverbolt (Arctozolt)

-Alto (M Grookey)

-Oran (M Munchlax)

-Fwoofy (Cosmog)

-Stormy (M Sobble)

-Dewdrop (M Sobble)

-Nessa Jr. (F Sobble)

-Bubble (M Sobble)

-Neptune (F Sobble)

-Zacian

-Eternatus

-Red (M Delphox)

-Stardust (M Meowstic)

-Ryu (M Lucario)

-Flick (F Vivillon)

-Verde (M Venusaur)

-Basil (M Sylveon)

-Granite (M Tyrantrum)

-Snooze (M Snorlax)

-Yveltal

-King (F Serperior)

-Cordelia (F Simipour)

-Beau (M Swoobat)

-Lumiere (F Chandelure)

-Kilobyte (M Eelektross)

-Phaedra (F Krookodile)

-Toothless (M Deino)

-Scylla (F Druddigon)

-Stormchase (F Swellow)

-Larkspur (M Venipede)

-Reshiram

-Cheezit (F Pawmot)

-Tiny (M Braviary)

-Salad (F Floragato)

-Cranberry (F Flareon)

-Pecha (F Grookey X Fomantis hybrid)

-Dart (F Cyclizar)

-Mantis (F Slither Wing)

-Hermes (M Corvisquire x Galarian Zapdos hybrid)

-Odin (M Corvisquire x Galarian Articuno hybrid)

-Vulcan (F Corvisquire x Galarian Moltres hybrid)

-Spark (M Galvantula ✨)

-VIOLENCE (F Scream Tail)

-Galahad (M Skarmory)

-Snart (F UD Archen)

-Titanium (F Revaroom)

-Goober (M Scovillain)

-Banana (F Latias ✨)

Hop:

-Cloudy (M Dubwool)

-Flint (M Cinderace)

-Percival (M Corviknight)

-Rumble (M Snorlax)

-Needle (F Pinchurin)

-Jasper (M Silicobra)

-Thor (F Boltund)

-Whisperwood (F Trevenant)

-Summer (F Heatmor)

-Watts (M Toxel)

-Crest (M Cramorant)

-Zamazenta

-Galarian Zapdos

-Mango (F Squawkabilly)

-Arlo (M Quaxly)

-Deedee (F Gardevoir x Whimsicott hybrid)

-Carrot (M Tatsugiri)

-Lumi (F Joltik)

-Koda (M Inteleon)

-Dusk (M Mightyena)

-Flurry (F Cetitan)

Auberi:

-Korrin (M Greninja)

-Calypso (F Meowstic)

-Blaise (M Charizard)

-Glacé (F Aurorus)

-Cantrelle (F Noivern)

-Reaper (F Absol)

-Estelle (F Flareon)

-Sunrise (F Talonflame)

-Chester (M Chespin)

-Ignis (M Hisuian Typhlosion)

-Blanche (F Hisuian Zoroark)

-Aries (M Paldean Tauros, Blaze Breed)

-Spitfire (M Skeledirge)

-Anne Bonny (F Kilowattrel ✨)

-Voltaire (M Joltik)

-Fondue (F Fidough)

-Arceus

-Rouge (M Hisuian Zorua)

-Anastasie (F Hisuian Zorua ✨)

(A note: These aren’t necessarily all Pokémon that are registered to them. Most of the legendaries, for example, are just ‘mons they’re able to call upon or are associated with)

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wallacejwriting · 9 months

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Starside [Starmont meets Farside]

A sort of rundown to what I'm thinking and working on

Jules Locke is a 15 year old kid living on a Fringe farm to the south of the city of Tairkyda, constantly in the shadow of the massive Wall that cuts off the other side - the Blighted side - of the island from the inhabited half.

Less than a week before the new year at Starmont College begins, Jules Awakens magic they shouldn't have when they find and bond a dragon egg that falls from a passing ship in the sky.

The witches of Tairkyda have ways of knowing when a new with Awakens, via the witchglasses at the centre of the innermost ring of Tairkyda's city proper. Because of this, Jules has no way of hiding.

Now a sproutling witch, Jules must attend Starmont to learn to control their magic, and their bond with their new dragon, or else risk losing their dragon egg, their freedom, and any chance of ever going home again.

But the innermost ring of Tairkyda is an elitest bunch. Prejudices run deep amidst the rich and powerful. And the mystery of how Jules has magic when they shouldn't - when no one outside the elite should - leaves Jules scrutinized at every opportunity.

Not that they're the only non-highborn witch. In fact, the other two are also dragon riders - Gwyn Vaughan, commander of the dragonguard; and Cináed, a fourth year student and Dustwitch. Both are underborn, meaning they are from Underside.

Rakesh, a professor at the school, is assigned to help Jules get ready for Starmont by the headmistress. When he brings Jules to Starmont early, at her request, Jules learns that the pirate noticed the egg is missing and wants their money.

Jules has no money, so the school pays for the egg, whose price has been inflated greatly due to being already bonded and unable to separate from Jules without conflict and consequence. Jules is assigned to work in the school and pay off the price of the egg while they are a student, and told they must pay off the full price to own their dragon as other witches do.

Less money. More problems. Always money problems.

Cináed also works in the school, as they were a servant before they were a witch, and this is a big part of how they bond.

Jules also meets and is roommates with Wren Hashimoto and Sabine Bellerose. And Jules quickly realizes that there's something going on with Sabine - she's hexed. Cursed. Hurting. And the more Jules learns about how and why - and about the kind of man her father, the one who did this, is - the more they realize they have to save Sabine. Her freedom is gone. Her voice, taken. Her life put on a timer. And if Jules stands aside and lets someone die when they could help?

Well, how the hell can they call themself a friend? Let alone a future dragon rider?

But things are far from easy. All the other sproutlings have several years of practice on Jules, as well as years of training and immersion in witchery and witch culture as a result of their upbringing. Not to mention, being able to draw perfect circles is considered the first skill a witch should learn.

And Jules hasn't. Not by a long shot.

But there's some stuff that comes easy to them, and that combination entangles them with Wren as they help each other with classes, with homework, and with learning more about each other and where they come from.

Drawing circles is still hard though.

And so is dealing with plenty of bigoted teachers, prejudiced students, and social norms that seem out to get them. And Jules has never been good with people, or social norms, to begin with. Learning an entire new set will be impossible without instructions.

And this isn't even getting into the fact that part of the island is Blighted, which means infected with a fungus that is stopped only by stone and fire. This creates monsters, freaky infected plants, and a lot lot more.

Anyway yeah. That's what I got so far. That's what I've been doing while not here. Combining worlds.

#wall talk #writeblr #amwriting #am writing #writers on tumblr #starside

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pixelated-whump · 6 months

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@ailesswhumptober Day Twenty-Five - Nightmares / "Why didn't you save me?"

TWs: K is suicidal and is also implied to have died in the past

Contents: A lot of guilt is here, also what led up to this isn't mentioned much but it does have lore, I just refuse to share it bc I'm tired and lazy (/hj)

Character is K (She/They, Ref)

Also posted on Ao3!

K doesn’t sleep much. When she does, her mind is often plagued with endless nightmares and memories of the past. She considers it a blessing that she doesn’t need much sleep, but unfortunately she has to sleep now.

She’s exhausted, frankly. Trying to figure out this whole... fucked up situation has been physically, emotionally, and mentally draining.

K thinks to herself as she falls asleep. She wonders if she couldn't have done something different, that maybe she didn’t do enough, and now it’s her fault Wren... did something. K only knows that Wren took over Cookie’s body. Somehow. It doesn’t make sense to her, and she’s been technically dead for over twenty years at this point.

The fox dreads sleeping tonight, but she does anyway, so she can at least figure this shit out quicker.

---

K should know by now that this dream will be anything but pleasant, but she can’t contain how happy she is to see Cookie, completely unharmed and seemingly having forgotten what happened.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” K whispers, holding the wolf tight.

“Why didn’t you save me?” A voice in her ear asks quietly.

“...What?”

“It’s your fault she hurt me,” The voice whispers, and it doesn’t sound like Cookie, but that’s the only person who it could belong to. “You hurt her, didn’t you? And then she hurt me because of how horrible you are.”

And her daughter- no, the illusion melts in her arms, the wolf’s face distorted, as laughter surrounds the fox.

---

And then K wakes up. She wakes up gasping for air that she doesn’t really need, tears already gathering in her eyes.

I don’t know how to fix this, She thinks, bringing her knees to her chest. I don’t know how to fucking fix this.

K doesn’t know what she’ll do if she can’t. Cookie’s basically the only thing she’s living for at this point, and even then, killing herself wouldn’t fix anything.

But gods, she really wants to fucking kill herself at this point. She has to fucking fix this. Somehow.

#tw sui mention #tw: sui mention #tw // sui mention #ailesswhumptober2023 #whump #nonhuman whumpee #whump writing #pixel's whump

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ask-wren-zhang · 9 months

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My dear Wren!

Ah, my chest feels like it is being torn apart! I have only now realized that your love has already been willingly given to another, and considering who it is *cough cough* Imelda.. I cannot possibly compete! But you should know that you shall always live in my heart: smart, funny, energetic, a woman worth thinking of every day and night, somebody who steals my breath away every time I see her, somebody who is compassionate to the point of blowing up some parts of the castle in order to save somebody! My admiration for you would live on long after we graduate! I wish you happiness even if I am not the one responsible for it!

- Your forever secret admirer (💔)

Wren stares at the letter, long and hard, her features set in the same befuddled expression it had been in when she first opened the envelope. The Ravenclaw has been wracking her brains all day, trying to ascertain the identity of her secret admirer. She rereads the letter in her hand, studying its unfamiliar penmanship time and time again, hoping it would somehow invoke the answer she seeks, or at the very least, the courage of a response, instead the knot in her stomach only seems to grow.

Having sent her fair share of unrequited love letters in the past, the notion of receiving one never once crossed her mind…

“Charlie,” she sighs, turning away from the her desk, “what should I even say?”

Her precious niffler only makes a soft snort in response. Wren scratches his fuzzy head with affection. Sometimes she wishes he can truly speak to her.

Summoning her courage, along with her quill and a new parchment, she begins to write:

A chara,

I’m in receipt of your courteous letter, containing a declaration of love.

I’ll be frank enough to admit, that I struggle in my attempt to answer your missive with the same poetic fervour which colours your words from beginning to end.

Highly appreciating the straightforward and flattering manner in which you’ve written me, thus it affords me great pain given it was I having subjected you to a heartbreak of such magnitude.

Although it’s impossible for me to recognise you, believing you to be honest, ambitious to do well, possessed of an excellent character and all the wonderful things as your words describe me to be, I most sincerely wish that you may meet with a companion in every way calculated to ensure your happiness.

Le gach dea-mhéin

Wren

#rp #wren writes #wren is flabbergasted

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dutyworn · 10 months

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@parameddic said: "It’s an explosion waiting to happen! Wren, you’ll get yourself killed." No, absolutely not, said the way he caught her wrist. Going in now was a bad idea. It would only increase casualties. "Until that thing blows, we stay out here. We go in after." (He sure isn’t in charge and isn’t even a firefighter anymore but Oh if they end up being first on scene together somehow and she doesn’t know xyz is explosive bc she Hasn’t been through the academy? Wait It Out, wren. You can go in after.)

wrist grab meme / ACCEPTING ↷

❝ All the more reason for me to go in now! ❞ Wren argues, though she does let him stop her ⸺ for now. A lot of energy goes into that, into letting herself be stopped; her body wants to run into the flames, she wants to do her job. (It isn’t that she has come to think of herself as a firefighter, it’s that she’s always thought of herself as someone who helps people, be that by means of direct rescue or violent threat control.)

She forces herself to turn to look at him. ❝ Are you protecting them, or me? ❞ she asks, eyes locked with his, an intensity to both her gaze and her words. ❝ If I go in now, am I risking innocent lives, or only my own? Don’t lie to me. ❞ If the risk to civilian lives is too big in comparison, she’ll wait; if she could get more people out by going in now... It’s hard enough to make calls like these when she can make the assesment herself; she hates that she has to rely on someone else’s word. She doesn’t want to die, but she won’t mind if she does if it saves somebody else. She’s not supposed to be here, anyway. On borrowed time, she’s already died once. She’s probably considered dead, back at home. & she should be; she was brought back to put an end to the war and she had, hopefully, done that; she should have died with the Reapers, not ended up in some world she doesn’t belong to, useless...

#parameddic #oh she does not like not knowing enough to risk assess herself #; the winter pretends it's mild and holds her ❪ verse / crossover. ❫#; parameddic / 005 #; tk strand & wren shepard ❪ parameddic / connection. ❫

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deliahscrush2003 · 2 years

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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers (◠‿◠✿) (if you feel like it!!)

I know you have already answered this, but you are one of my favourite mutuals!

My dear @summer-time , how you flatter me so! I was a bit puzzled for a bit wondering what to do with this ask. I am embarrassed to admit, for as much projects as I make up and have in development currently, I have not written and uploaded many fics. The ones I have, I have already promoted here, for anyone interested!

So, I have decided to dedicate this ask to some of my beautiful mutuals who I know have been working hard and dedicating so much time and effort into writing fics that you can read now at your leisure!

Fic Author Recs: The Mutuals Edition

@emcon-ocs 's Bat Out of Hell & Bat Out of Hell: Teenage Wasteland (MCU)

Willow Wren has got to be one of the most well-developed OCs I've ever read and @emcon-ocs creativity in not just their writing, but also in how they promote their fic, is just way beyond anything I've ever seen before from a fic writer. Like, they made a literal movie trailer for the sequel to Bat Out of Hell - which was epic btw and these super cool posters/covers that made me severely jealous because I lack the most basic editing and photoshop skills. Also I need to mention this meme because it was both hilarious as hell and depressing (if you know, you know). Anyway, they're not just a fantastic fic writer, but they put so much effort into promoting their fic and the talent and creativity and resourcefulness there is just admirable. Nothing but respect for @emcon-ocs , so check em' out!

2. @starknstarwars 's Smuggler's Run & Smuggler's Ruin (Star Wars)

@starknstarwars 's Smuggler's Saga borderlines on original work with how original and brilliantly thought out it is. I first got hooked onto their work when I was drawing up their commission for the main OC, Zallia Thane (of whom I worship the very ground she treads upon). All of the OCs from the Smuggler's Saga are well-developed, well-thought out and beautifully portrayed in the series, with complex motivations, values, struggles and personalities that make them equally relatable and engaging to read about. I am up to Smuggler's Ruin right now, but I have yet to catch up to the recent chapters so I suggest all of us take a page out of my book and BINGE NOW!

3. @summer-time 's Biography of an Angel (Harry Potter, Star Wars & Game of Thrones)

And of course, I could not do a fic rec without mentioning someone who's OC has become very dear to me and that's you, my dear @summer-time. Your Ian Moone has crossed time, space and dimensions and touched our favorite stories and characters, and that attention to detail, lore and plots is impressive considering you always stay true to Ian's tragic plight of never able to enjoy being part of these stories that she intervenes in, always having to move on to new worlds to save and new loves to fall for that she will inevitably leave behind in the end - it is all too reminicent of the pain of leaving behind our own childhood stories to live the real lives of adults. Take my advice ladies and gentlemen, read up on my dear @summer-time and her Bigography of an Angel

TAGLIST: @lokitrasho || @foxesandmagic || @wordspin-shares || @lilac-lemonade || @apollothe-sungod || @chickensarentcheap || @ocfairygodmother ||

#fic rec #mutuals #oc community #occommunity #ocs #occentral #allaboutocs #ochub #ocapp #ocappreciation #friends fics #friends fic rec

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kittym · 3 years

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+ WREN ( @oflightfeet )

FRIDAY 5TH FEBRUARY. EAST LONDON. Where Kitty turns stagnant in corporate settings, numbed to a point of boredom and of very little use to anyone at all, she thrives in situations like this -- fast-paced, adrenaline-fuelled, potentially-deadly circumstances that flood her body with life and sharpen her mind with a concentration she wishes she’d figured out how to summon sooner in her youth. But her mind is not on Thomas as the Corvette Stingray slices black through the cold city night, lights blinking off its paintwork in quick succession, instead fixing on Remus. Had War not found enough bodies to home their bullets in? In some obscure, bloodthirsty way, it makes sense, she supposes: they’d already taken out Jack Tanner and weakened Pestilence ranks. Might as well pick off a member of Famine. A faint buzz catches her attention, glancing at her phone. Face-up on the medical kit she’d snatched in her hasty exit, screen still cracked from a self-inflicted burst of anger on Tuesday, Wren’s message glows through the dark.

She finds them hunched over Thomas like a wild-eyed creature protecting its kill from scavengers, fear and iron hanging thick in the air. Kitty remembers the first time she saw a fresh bullet wound, thirteen and disobedient, slipping into a room of the Femenias estate she’d been told to keep out of while people rushed to save a life. Powers had all been considered distant relatives back then -- constantly present in her life, flitting at the edges of it like moths around a lamp. She hadn’t quite known the significance of their supervision and vigilance at that age, raised as protectors and destined to put their lives before those of the family. She can’t quite recall if the Power had died but it had taken months to dilute the jarring bright red that a split artery had pumped out of their body and into her mind.

“Hi,” she exhales breathlessly, dropping to her knees beside them. For a man with a stature such as his, Thomas looks strangely small sprawled out and unconscious. The single outdoor bulb that illuminates the nearby underbridge path throws a strange amber hue over him, turning the unmistakable glistening of blood-soaked material to a rust-brown. “He’s still alive then?” Wren’s expression looks panic-stricken but not hopeless in defeat. “You’ve done well so far. We just need to keep as much blood inside him before the doctor gets here. They’re on their way.” Kitty pushes her hair back into a ponytail and unzips the med kit, teeth ripping open a packet of disposable gloves to pull on.

“I’m going to need you to shine a phone torch on him. Is it just the entry wound or did the bullet go straight through him?”

#t.#c. wren #d. 05 02 21

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creativia10 · 3 years

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Janus in Wickhills Part 2

Fanfic au of @/tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors 's Love and Other Fairytales series

(continued from Janus in Wickhills Part 1)

The Duke had a very crazed look to his eyes.

“What is this!?” The duke exclaimed.

Janus twitched back some, concerned about sudden moves as though he were around some wild beast. Considering this was another fae, and how he looked at that moment, maybe he wasn’t that far off. Everyone had tensed up at his arrival. They were all still though.

The duke twitched some, his fingers clenched and unclenched. He stepped towards Janus, but someone stood in the way. Janus couldn’t see the face of the person who stood between them, but whatever it was made the Duke look concerned. There was even more of a hint of mania to his face.

“I just-I need to-“ The Duke glanced around. Then after a moment he shot over to the glasses fae and frantically grabbed his shoulders, mace fallen by their feet. Janus jumped.

“Snowmelt! I need you to help ground me into reality. I am seeing him, and it’s not possible, I can’t be seeing him I just can’t.”

His rambling seemed frantic. The man who he called snowmelt seemed very concerned. He grabbed the Duke’s arms.

“Remus. Remus! Look at me.”

Remus, apparently, took a breath and shakily met his eyes.

“You’re not seeing things. I see him too. But!” He quickly said as Remus started to look frazzled again, “he’s not-“ Snowmelt choked on what he was going to say, and hesitated. He looked at Janus again before returning his gaze to Remus.

“It’s not like it was. We don’t know what’s going on yet, but he is not going to hurt you again. Ok?”

Remus’ breath slowed as he took in Snowmelt’s words. He seemed unsure, but at least he calmed down. He stepped beside Snowmelt and turned to him.

“So what do we know then?”

“That is what we’re trying to figure out,” the one dressed as a knight said with a sigh. Janus found his eyes kept darting between them, still tensed from whatever just happened. It gave him a weird feeling. This entire thing was unsettling.

The curly haired one gently caught Remus up on what they knew so far. Snowmelt turned his attention back to Janus.

“Do you remember where in the forest you woke up?”

Janus scrunched his face in thought.

“I think so…but” He pursed his lips, unsure how to word his concern.

“But what?” The prince asked.

“Isn’t locating in the forest a bit difficult on revel nights?”

The others paused and looked at each other.

“Have you been to a revel before?” The prince asked.

“I…don’t believe so. I feel like I recall that would be a bad idea.”

“That should not be as much of a concern for a faerie,” the knight said.

“We have a pretty good handle on navigating the forest now, even on a revel night. We should be able to help you if you think you can remember.”

“I, however, cannot do this now, since I am the prince of the forest, I must attend to the revel to ensure the peace is kept,” The prince said.

“I could take him,” the curly haired one said.

“Pa- uh,” he paused and cleared his throat, “It’s dangerous,” Snowmelt said.

“Well, I know all of you will not want to leave the revel due to your duties, and I have gotten better with my abilities. I am stronger than you think,” Curly said.

“None of us think you aren’t strong, my love,” The knight dressed companion said.

“Perhaps it would be better to not go tonight anyways. It is late, on a revel night, and since we don’t know what’s going on, there could be more danger than we know of,” Snowmelt said.

“What should we do then?” The companion dressed as a knight asked.

They paused and then looked at Janus.

“What do you want to do?” The curly haired one asked. Janus stared at them in bewilderment.

“What do I want to do? How the heck should I know!? I woke up not knowing where I was and I keep getting looks like I’m a ghost by people I don’t even know!”

Janus let out a breath in frustration. The others looked at each other.

“Would you like to simply sit with us for now?” Snowmelt asked.

Janus sighed. “It’s not like I have many options right now anyways.”

He followed them to where they were sitting earlier.

The others sat except for the knight who stood off to the side at her post, not being very subtle with how often she looked over at him. Janus stood awkwardly by them for a moment.

The curly haired one smiled at him and patted the seat next to him.

“You can sit!” He said brightly. Janus hesitantly sat beside him.

“You may call me Wren!” He called cheerily. “I also like the nickname Goldilocks-“

“-but that is a nickname saved solely for his very powerful boyfriends,” the knight dressed one said very pointedly, from where he sat. Wren gave him a look.

Well Janus felt awkward now.

“…Alright. Well you may call me Jay,” he said to Wren.

Wren smiled at Janus and nodded before he gestured from those beside him.

Snowmelt nodded to Janus.

“You may call me L.”

The others didn’t give him nicknames. Alright then.

It was awkward and uncomfortable. But at least Wren seemed nice.

It was unfortunate his thoughts kept going back to these confusing circumstances. There seemed to be a lot going on at the revel as well. Lots of whispering and staring.

He wasn’t quite sure why this group was helping him when it was clear they were wary of him, apparently because of his resemblance to a previous traitorous ruler. He would take what he would get, but still be on guard.

They stayed late. Gosh, how long did these things go til?

Wren yawned and started to lean onto L. L looked down at Wren softly. It was sweet.

L then looked over to the spider prince.

“Are you good to stay as I get them home?”

The prince nodded at him.

“There’s not as many here now,” The Prince said.

L nodded and carefully got up, lifting Wren into a bridal carry.

He paused.

“I don’t think we decided what to do, since we deemed it dangerous to go searching now.”

L turned to Janus.

“Do you have somewhere to go?” Wren suddenly piped up sleepily.

Janus paused.

“Uh- I don’t think so.” He furrowed his brows. “I don’t think I had a home. I remember traveling a lot.” The others exchanged looks, like they seemed to do every time he said something about himself. It was aggravating.

“I-hmm…” L started. “I feel places he could stay in town would not be welcoming to a fae, as he looks.” He thought some more. “I am unsure of the room in our house…”

“Perhaps we could set up one of your hammocks nearby?” Their knight companion, who hadn’t shared his name, suggested. “He wouldn’t be just left out that way.”

“Hm, yeah that could work.”

They were suggesting he sleep outside? He noticed they didn’t exactly ask him. What else could he bring up though? He didn’t know these people or where the line might be. This could all be a trap for all he knew, and his lack of information was driving him crazy.

“I can stay by him while he’s there,” Remus said. They turned to him in surprise.

“Are you sure Remus?” Snowmelt asked.

Remus shrugged, “Eh, I live in the forest anyways. Besides, I don’t live with you all, so it wouldn’t disrupt anything.”

The knight companion looked like he wanted to argue.

“It’s fiine, Ro. You all will be right there, and I can handle myself. I can’t do anything to him anyways.”

What was that supposed to mean?

Remus continued, “Just let me know if there’s anything else you want me to do. It’s the least I can do after all the ways you guys have helped me.”

Janus was slightly embarrassed to admit how wary he was to walk in the forest this late at night, even with the others who were with him. He didn’t recall fearing the dark before, but then again maybe waking up in a strange place could do that to you. After some walking, they seemed to reach a nice woodsy house, although it was hard to tell with the lack of light. L carried Wren inside.

The prince looked around. He walked around the side, jumped up, and started stringing spider silk between a couple of trees into the shape of a hammock.

Janus’ jaw dropped.

“I- are you making a hammock out of your own spider silk?”

“Mhm,” came from a different voice. Janus turned and jumped when he saw that Remus had somehow grown a large mossy cradle for himself, that he was already lounging in. It didn’t look very sanitary to Janus, but then again if this fae did live in the woods like he claimed, it was probably nothing to him. Unsure how to react, he turned back to the prince.

“But, will-“

“The hammocks I have made are strong enough to hold up myself and my three partners at once. I think you will be fine,” the prince said, sounding indignant.

Janus still looked on hesitantly.

Remus then said, “Would you rather wear a snake den into the ground right there?”

Janus whirled on him and scowled.

“What a ridiculous thing to suggest.”

Remus shrugged, seeming unconcerned.

“How would I know how you sleep?”

Janus refrained from complaining about sleeping outside in the first place. It was certainly better than the nowhere option.

Remus patted some moss beside him.

“Wanna feel how squishy it is?”

Janus scrunched his face, “No thanks.”

“It’s actually more comfortable than you’d think.”

“Hm.”

The spider got back down.

“There you go.”

Janus stepped towards it and stopped again. He tried to figure out how to ask his question without offending the prince, but couldn’t shake off his concern.

“I- well, I mean, aren’t spider webs meant to stick and capture creatures that aren’t spiders?”

The prince frowned.

“It’s not going to trap you. And even if it were, I can always get you out.”

That was not as reassuring as it was probably meant to be.

The prince continued, “It might stick some, but it’s light enough that it would more so be a slight annoyance, like if you were to get moss in your hair or something.”

Remus then said, “Yeah, but not the oozy kind though. Webbing is much lighter, right?”

The prince gave Remus a look, “…yes, right.”

Surprisingly, Remus popped up then, stretched his arms over his head and then tossed himself into the web hammock, startling Janus and the prince.

“Wha- Remus!”

“Whaat~? I was just showing him it was fine.” Remus patted the web. “If you join me up here, at least you won’t be alone if you get stuck.”

The prince sighed at that.

“I usually make big webs, so there should be enough room for both of you to lay in there comfortably, without even touching each other.”

Janus hesitated but he finally got closer to the web.

The prince stepped forward, a hand held out,

“Do you need hel-“

“Nope,” Janus abruptly pulled himself into the web hammock, bouncing the whole thing and sending Remus rolling into him. Remus snickered at his expense. Janus was mortified to feel his face heat up some. They remained still until the rocking stopped before Remus scooted back to an acceptable distance. The prince seemed to struggle to school in a neutral expression.

“Are you good?” The Prince asked. Janus nodded. The prince nodded back,

“Ok, well I will be in the house if you need anything, alright?”

Then he went inside.

Janus finagled a bit to take his hat off, and pushed his shoes off with some effort, hoping they landed close. He saw that Remus’ weapon from earlier was laid against the tree. Janus didn’t take his cape off, but he did unlatch it so he would be more comfortable. He glanced around and startled when he noticed that Remus was watching him. Remus immediately glanced away and grew surprisingly quiet. Even though he had been unsettled, Janus found himself look over the other.

He was glad there were some outside porch lights so they weren’t in complete darkness. Janus was trying to figure out how he felt about the one before him, why he was drawn to look at him. The mustache, and everything almost gave him a rugged look. Janus can’t say he ever expected to check out a man with green skin, but it certainly wasn’t the oddest thing that had happened that day.

“Can I ask you something?” Janus asked him then.

He heard a rustle as Remus shifted to look at Janus again with his green eyes curiously.

“Me sleeping out here, that wasn’t only because of how much room there is in their house, is it?”

Remus’ silence was answer enough for Janus. Janus sighed. Remus opened his mouth a couple of times. Then he finally spoke,

“We all have very good reason to be wary from seeing his face. None of them are trying to be cruel.”

Janus huffed out a humorless laugh and shook his head.

“That’s the worst part of all this. You all look at me like I killed a loved one, and I still know barely anything about this situation. I am not necessarily blaming you, but it’s still unfair.”

Remus didn’t speak for a moment. Janus wondered if he opened up too much.

“Well…you’re not the only one who has had to deal with unfairness due to similar appearances.”

Janus’ eyes widened and he looked over at Remus, actually looked at him.

Remus smiled sadly and sighed.

“I don’t do this talky stuff much, like this, just so you know.”

He seemed to cut off at something.

Janus opened his mouth to ask about it when Remus turned again.

“Goodnight Jay,” and stilled.

Janus looked at his back for a moment, a bit unsure of what he was longing for.

“…goodnight.”

(continues in Part 3)

#ts janus #ts remus #laoft fic #sanders sides fanfic

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m00nycore · 3 years

Text

𝙒𝙄𝙏𝙃 𝘼𝙇𝙇 𝙊𝙁 𝙈𝙔 𝙎𝙏𝙐𝙋𝙄𝘿 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝙍𝙏 ;; 𝙩𝙬𝙤 .

𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙥𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙠𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 .

𝙎𝙀𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙎 𝙈𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏

𝙙𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙛𝙤𝙮 𝙭 𝙤𝙘 (𝙖𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙪𝙥 𝙗𝙮 𝙩𝙬𝙤 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨)

𝙩/𝙬 : 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙥𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙡𝙮 𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙩𝙤𝙭𝙞𝙘 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥, 𝙙𝙚𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣, 𝙥𝙡𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙪𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧

𝙏𝘼𝙂𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏 ;; @dreaming-about-fanfictions @aesthetic-el @lord-byron @drxcomvlfx

Green apples and toast.

It’s what Draco had been sending to her room every day, according to Poppy. He had asked the elf- kindly, she said- to make sure she was eating and to find out what she wanted.

Everyday, Wren couldn’t help but give the same response. Draco had somehow chosen the food from the first day very well. The two weeks they spent at the manor before they went to Hogwarts was only endurable because of her carefully crafted routine.

Wren was an early riser. Six o’clock was her preferred wake-up time, and she began her day by sitting in a bath with the water so hot that it burned the entire time.

Poppy would bring her an apple soon after, as well as a pitcher of water and a cup. In the morning, her appetite was small. She would eat the apple in the tub, and when she was done, she’d exit the bath. Wren got dressed, and headed to the gardens by seven-thirty.

Wren stayed outside in the gardens, aimlessly wandering to kill times. She would return into the manor at noon, and she refused lunch from Poppy.

The best part of her day was the visit to the library, a room that was immaculate, but untouched for the most part. The room was huge, almost as large as her manor’s. The Malfoy family didn’t seem the type to read obsessively the way she did. She would take a few books out and return to her room.

By the time she had devoured each novel, Aegis nestled into her side, Poppy brought her dinner- toast and a green apple. As she ate, she asked Poppy to keep her company. The two would talk every night.

She would learn every detail of Poppy’s day, which comforted her. The Malfoy’s had a few house elves, and Poppy was becoming friendly with them. In turn, Poppy listened with wonder in her eyes as Wren described each book she had read to her.

At nine at night, she would lay in bed, waiting to be able to sleep. Many hours later, she was swept into a dreamless sleep.

The irony of her given name almost made her laugh- she was Persephone, trapped in the unforgiving Underworld. The green apple had been her pomegranate seed, and Draco was unwillingly her Hades.

Since the night in the gardens, the two hadn’t spoken, nor had Wren returned the ring to her finger. It would all change tomorrow, she knew, but she was strangely numb to it all. The monotony had gotten to her.

Narcissa knocked on her door again that night, just as Wren was packing her trunk to return to school the following morning. As far as she knew, neither of them had left the house- save the time they ventured to Knockturn Alley. Poppy had told her about it.

“Good evening, Mrs. Malfoy,” she greeted.

Narcissa smiled at her, strained, standing by the door. She glanced at the ring that sat atop her pile of clothes.

“That was Lucius’ great-grandmother’s,” she commented, smiling softly. “My ring was passed down from his maternal grandmother, to his mother, to me. That ring was always meant to be yours.”

Wren studied the ring, a soft smile of her own growing on her face. “It’s beautiful. I suppose it’s fitting,” she decided, meeting Narcissa’s eyes. “Being Draco’s favorite color... it only makes sense that his bride-to-be sports it. He also likes silver, if I’m not mistaken, so the band is fitting as well.”

There was a pause.

“I know he was cruel to you, Persephone.”

She couldn’t help but wonder if she meant the time in the gardens, during their time at Hogwarts, or whilst they grew up together.

“We have a plan in the works,” Narcissa continued. “Draco can fill you in. He’s clever, he thought it up himself,” she hesitated. “Would you go talk to him, Persephone?”

Wren studied Narcissa, considering. “Yes,” she eventually answered.

Narcissa nodded and exited.

The walk to Draco’s room was rather confusing, as she had no clue where to find it.

She passed a house elf cleaning the banisters, and knelt down.

“Hello,” she greeted. The elf looked at her warily. “I’m Persephone,” she introduced herself.

“Oh! Yes, our new mistress Persephone. Please forgive Dilly, ma’am!” the elf cowered, making her heart break. She had a feeling that Lucius Malfoy’s cruelty wouldn’t make an exception for house elves.

Wren smiled kindly. “Hush, now,” she soothed. “I don’t mind. You don’t even have to call me mistress. Dilly, you said?” the elf nodded. “It’s nice to meet you, Dilly... do you perhaps know my elf, Poppy?”

The elf nodded. “Yes ma’am!” he squeaked. “Poppy told Dilly all about Mistress Persephone’s kindness! Poppy loves Mistress Persephone very much!”

“That makes me happy to hear, thank you,” she told the elf. “If you don’t mind me asking, where is Draco’s room?”

Dilly perked up. “Dilly can show you, ma’am! Is Master Malfoy expecting you?”

“I’m not sure,” she murmured, rising to her feet. “Would you care to walk with me, Dilly?” she reached her hand out for the elf to take.

“Yes ma’am!” he exclaimed, accepting her hand.

As they walked, Dilly explained that he had been working for the Malfoy’s for many years. He held an obvious respect for the family, but Wren could see that it was built upon fear, regardless of if Dilly knew that or not.

When they arrived at Draco’s room, she looked down at Dilly, releasing her hand from his.

“Thank you, Dilly,” she said, grateful. “I’ll see you soon, hopefully!”

Dilly’s eyes lit up. “It was Dilly’s pleasure, Mistress Persephone!”

As Dilly ran off to finish her cleaning, Draco’s door opened.

He looked just as bad as when she saw him last. He wore his usual black suit, and his hands were in his pockets.

“I’ll never understand your fascination with house elves,” he stated, the usual, insufferable tone in his voice.

“Must you always speak like you’re about to spit at someone?”

He sneered, just as she predicted.

“Anyway, I’m not fascinated by them. I just think they’re such lovely souls. Especially my Poppy,” she was smiling.

“Why are you here Bardick?” Draco’s arms were crossed across his chest.

Wren’s brow crinkled. “To speak to you. Tomorrow we’re breaking the news of our engagement, after all.”

“I suppose you’ll be breaking up with Zabini then?”

She crinkled her nose. “Blaise and I are hardly even worthy of the term friends. Don’t get your knickers in a twist just because I rejected you for the ball and ended up taking him instead.”

Draco was still scowling. “Well, come in then,” he snapped, opening his door.

His room was as much of a prison as her’s was.

Wren was baffled at how, despite living in the room for eighteen years, there was hardly any proof of his residence. His belonging were present, of course, but there was no personal style... it looked almost like a guest room rather than the room of the family heir.

They stood, awkwardly, across from each other until Wren turned to an armchair and sunk in it.

“Your plan?” she wasted no time getting to business- after all, she knew that neither of them would make a move to acknowledge or apologize for the night in the gardens. It wasn’t their way.

Draco sighed, going to sit on the edge of his extravagant bed, and running a hand over his face. He was frightened inside.

“There’s a vanishing cabinet,” he began. “One in Borgin and Burkes.”

Wren nodded, aware of the plan immediately. It was hard not to hear about Montague’s near-death experience with the one in Hogwarts.

“So you’re sneaking them in the school,” she stated, prompting him to nod. “Before or after you kill our Headmaster?”

He was quiet. She already knew the answer- before. He would be grasping at any chance to have someone else take Dumbledore’s life.

“Draco, I know you’re-.”

“You don’t know anything,” he hissed. “He chose me! It’s my time!”

Wren ignored him. “As much as I hate to admit it, I’m here to help you. I know it’s scary, I know you don’t want to- hell, I don’t even want to help, but I don’t want to die. I couldn’t imagine having to carry out the deed.”

He was quiet, staring at her with an unreadable expression.

“So, this is Draco Malfoy’s room, hm? You should open the curtains more... you don’t look like you’ve seen the sun in ages.”

Malfoy smirked. “You’re one to talk, Bardick,” he teased, taking in the girl’s pale, sickly appearance. She swam in the large sweater she wore. As corpse-like as she could appear, her beauty could not be mistaken.

“I’ve been in the gardens every day, Draco,” she countered. “I’ve been busy.”

Draco almost looked... sympathetic. “It’s quite pathetic,” he commented. “Seeing you force yourself walk around for six hours.”

“You watch me in the garden, how sweet. Already so attentive of your bride-to-be.”

He snorted, a ghost of a smile on his face. He looked down at the ring.

“Have you eaten?” he asked, suddenly.

“No,” she admitted. “Poppy must be looking for me. It’s around this time that I have to stomach my toast and apple.”

Draco shook his head, angry again. “You’re ridiculous,” he spat. “Think starving yourself would get you out of the mission, do you?”

“I’m not hungry.”

He stood suddenly, and walked forward to grab her wrist.

“Get off,” she ordered, a murderous edge to her voice. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Having dinner with my fiancée,” he replied, through gritted teeth.

#with all of my stupid heart #draco #draco angst #draco fic #draco imagine #draco malfoy #draco smut #draco x oc #draco x reader #draco x y/n #draco x you #harry potter #harry potter angst #harry potter fic #harry potter smut

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clevercatchphrase · 3 years

Text

2020 Year Review~

2020. Pretty unique year, don’t you think? It’s the first year since 2002 to have only two different digits in it. After 2022, this won’t happen again until 2111. Yep. Absolutely nothing more interesting than that.

Anyway! It’s time I reflect on my 2020, look back on my yearly goals and rant about things that happened to me this year. I made a post like this last year, where I went over my 2019 goals and talked about what I accomplished and what I didn’t, and it’s only fitting I do the same again this year. Read more under the cut for a random stream of consciousness ramble!

So, first things first, let’s look at my 2019 goals;

Finish paying off that last student loan

Put more stuff on my redbubble

Illustrate my own fan fics

Sew at least one stuffed animal

Make an enamel pin

Read one new book a month

Write one page a day/Complete at least one new fan fic

Learn Python or C# for the game I want to make

Finish fully scripting Ghost Switch

Boost my patreon

Paying Off My Last Student Loan: Going down the list, I am proud to say that I FINALLY paid off all my student loans! (and not a moment too soon. The last payment I made was literally days before the first quarantine rolled out). It took me roughly 4 years on my part-time paycheck to pay off all my loans, and once I finished, I had no money to my name (literally; I had less than 1k as emergency money in case of car troubles or health issues). Heck, I’m STILL living at home as a save up for a place of my own. Finally paying off all my student loans DID activate my secret 2020 new year’s resolution, which was to adopt a cat! I did this too, literally a week later! She is the best thing that’s happened to me this entire year and I love her so much and she is the snuggliest cuddle bug I’ve ever met. I’m so happy she’s in my life now~

Put More Stuff On My Redbubble: ah ha ha ha… I thought I did this, but then I went and checked, and it turns out-! I did not. I made art I intended to go on my redbubble, but haven’t put there yet. They are all drawings of some OCs from a game I want to make, but because I haven’t progressed on making the game this year, I never got around to putting more stuff related to it on my redbubble. At the time of writing, there are 7 days left in December, so I guess I could go and put it up on my redbubble right now, but without context on where the characters are from, there wouldn’t be much point, now would there?

Illustrate My Own Fan Fics: Another goal that I was so stoked to actually do… and then just didn’t. Gee, I wonder why I couldn’t find the energy or motivation to do it this year? Truly a conundrum. (Hey, you know what? If Ghost Switch counts as a fan fiction in a visual form, then I am doing GREAT on this goal. 2.5 years in, 1 of ~4 arcs done, and still going steady~)

Sew At Least One Stuffed Animal: Okay, I have a valid excuse for not doing this one. I even knew which stuffed animal I wanted to make, and had the pattern drawn out and everything, but I had no money for materials because I had just paid off my student loans. And then, by the time I did have enough money again, quarantine was in full effect and I couldn’t go out to the fabric store. I’m still trying my best to stay out of public places even if the rules are laxer now, because I don’t want to catch the plague even if everyone in my goddamn city thinks and acts like the problem is over already. Even if they’re all wearing masks, even if they’re staying 6 feet apart, I still don’t want to risk it. I will stay inside until health experts give the all clear, and when that day comes, then I will buy some fleece and make a plush.

Make An Enamel Pin: I ACTUALLY DID THIS ONE. TWICE! Halfway through quarantine, I was feeling anxious and depressed about my job and how they were planning to have me work with the public despite climbing infection rates and positive covid cases. I didn’t quit then, but in a desperate move to try and become self-sufficient, I went to madebycooper and made two enamel pins based on some butterfly dragons I drew last year. They’re on my etsy store now! I even went out of my way to open a P.O. box just to start a small business! I haven’t sold a single pin yet, and I’m actually really nervous to sell my first because I don’t trust the efficiency of the postal system thanks to the actions of the GOP that really screwed them over this year! (If you would like to see my enamel pins, click here!)

Read One Book A Month: I did this! With dragon books I bought a couple years back! In fact, I read FOURTEEN dragon books, and still have more books for next year to read! The 14 books I read this year were:

The Hive Queen

The Poison Jungle

Wings Of Fire Legends: Dragonslayer

Dealing With Dragons

Searching For Dragons

Calling on Dragons

Talking to Dragons

The Bronze Dragon Codex

The Brass Dragon Codex

The Black Dragon Codex

The Red Dragon Codex

The Silver Dragon Codex

Dragon Strike, and

Hatching Magic

To be honest, I had read The Red Dragon Codex years ago when it first came out, but completely forgotten what it was about. I remembered liking it, and I knew the reading level was on the lower side, but the whole dragon codex series was pretty good! So far, the Silver dragon codex was my favorite, and black dragon codex was probably the worst! Hatching Magic was also really slow and bad and had plot points that went nowhere, but the book was written in the 80s, so I don’t know what I expected. The Dealing with Dragons series was very charming and great for the most part, save for one line in the last book that really rubbed me the wrong way, and all the Wings of Fire Books go above and beyond in this third arc. The second legends book could be a little tighter, though (sky and wren are the best duo and I want a book solely about them, but I honest to god do not care about leaf and ivy’s stories.)

Write one Page of any story every day/ complete at least one fic: I… did this? Okay, I kinda cheated near the end of the year. I was keeping up the one page a day thing for the first four months, but then the world went to shit and my schedule and habits got disrupted and I fell off my good track record. I completed 7 out of roughly 12 one-shots I had planned for this year (my goal WAS supposed to be one short a month, but… you know how it happens) I kept trying to catch up on this goal all year, but the days kept piling up…. Until November hit. I managed to write over 250 pages for Nanowrimo, and I consider this goal a win. 365 pages of fiction in total, which averages out to about one a day~. SHUT UP IT COUNTS.

Learn Python or C# for the game I want to make: Another goal I didn’t have the mental energy to commit to this year. Truly a mystery to where all our willpower went in 2020.

Fully Finish Scripting Ghost Switch: still haven’t done this one yet! The Snowdin arc is completely planned, but I just haven’t gotten around to getting the other areas. I’m not worried, though. I know all the major plot points I gotta hit, it’s just weaving them together in a way that flows nice is the final task. I’m not too worried though. I don’t expect to finish the Snowdin arc for another year and a half, at the bare minimum.

And my last goal of 2020, Boost My Patreon. I did this at the beginning of the year, but then very intentionally stopped about a third of the way through. It didn’t sit right with me to tell you guys to donate to me when suddenly EVERYONE was financially strained from layoffs or being furloughed. I told my patrons the same, and if you ever need to stop donating to me to take care of yourself first, then by all means, please do. I would feel much better knowing you’re using your money to see yourself fed and housed instead of given to me (where it is pretty much only used to buy gas for my car, honestly)

Welp! That was all my goals for 2020! I achieved 4 out of 10 goals plus 1 secret goal! Pretty much the same ratio as last year, but now this time I can blame all my failures on the pandemic! I don’t feel so bad about myself anymore~

ON TO 2021!

I have 11 goals for the new year, again some rolled over from this list, and some from even older years. They are, in no particular order;

Read 12 new books (roughly 1 book a month)

Finish the first draft of 2019’s Nanowrimo project and rewrite it

Script TDV

Finish Scripting Ghost Switch

Build A Comic Buffer

Sew 1 Stuffed Animal

Finish 1 Song Comic

Make another Enamel Pin

Finish 2 short original comics (this one counts as 2 goals)

Finish the 5 remaining one-shot fics

Now to go into depth on each one, more for my own sake, really. I want to know exactly what I have planned for each goal this year, and sometimes just looking at a short list doesn’t capture all the smaller details.

1)Read 12 new books. Same as last year! I The only difference is I might not be able to make it all dragon-related books. (I try my hardest not to buy from amazon anymore, but half-price-books doesn’t always have the obscure stuff I’m looking for)

2)Finish 2019’s nanowrimo project. If you read my 2019 year reflection, you’ll notice I said I wanted to do some original writing. And I did! The story I wrote for nanowrimo back then was a story I’ve been toying with since 2017, but it was only last year I finally got pen to paper. Now, you may find it odd that the keyword says “finish”. You may think, “but isn’t that what you’re supposed to do for nanowrimo?” and to that I say, WRONG! I wrote 50k words for nanowrimo, but the draft was only about halfway complete. I was kinda discouraged about what I had written last year, because I didn’t like how it was coming out, but I did manage to get it half done. Now it’s time for me to bite the bullet and just finish the thing so I can finally revise it and make it into something I DO like. (It’s still gonna be hella long, tho. That’s what I get for trying to write an epic fantasy, I guess.)

3)Script TDV. TDV is the abbreviation of the game I want to make. I… still need to do so much for this project OTL… In addition to getting the story solidified, I still need to draw art and game assets, and learn how to code for it, both of which are no small task. I keep having some sort of new year’s goal related to this on my list, and every year I just don’t hit this one. Will 2021 be different?

4)Finish Scripting Ghost Switch. (Or at the very least, get the waterfall arc completely written out). I have a plan to break this down into simpler steps, by focusing on just one arc for a month or two. Every major arc has 2 to 3 parts, broken up by flashbacks, and if I can just finish one section a month, then I should have the entire thing scripted by the end of the year. It’s not a difficult pace, but seeing if I stick with it will be the real challenge, as it is will all my goals it seems.

5)Build a Comic Buffer: I’m actually working on this one right now! Since I paid off my last loan and got a new job this year, my current Patreon goals are kind of out of date. They had all been centered around me paying off that last loan, and working towards full-time employment, but those are both completed now! So instead, I would love to get to a place where my patrons could read pages at least a week ahead, and to do that, I need to build a buffer. And since I’m working 5 full days a week now, I can’t afford to fall behind. But you can’t fall behind if you constantly stay ahead! I would like to have… a 10 to 12 page buffer. That’s roughly 3 months’ worth of pages to always have on hand in case I get swamped with work, or something. Right now I currently have a buffer of 3, which will cover me for half a January, which is better than not having anything at all, but still not the best. (ultimately, I would love to have a buffer so big, I could queue them up for the whole year. Wouldn’t that be something?)

6) Sew one stuffed animal: same as last year. ASSUMING the plague gets under control in 2021, I don’t expect to get to this goal until the summer at the earliest.

7)Finish 1 song comic: I have 7 song comics planned. One is a gift, one possibly for wandersong, one is a collab that’s currently in the works, but I’m waiting on a friend to do their part before I can continue mine, 2 are UT related, and 2 (well, technically 3, but one is the collab) are KH related. It’s one of the UT ones that will probably get finished, if I’m being honest. It’s completely story boarded, and now I just need to ink and color it. I would like to get it done for UT’s 6th birthday, since I made a song comic on the fly for the anniversary this year, and it was fun, and I’d like to do it again! So, look forward to that next september~

8) Make another enamel pin: I have a dolphin design I’d like to make because dolphins are cute, if not little murder machines. (need to save up some expendable income first, tho. THESE THINGS AIN’T CHEAP TO MAKE.)

9 and 10) start and finish 2 original short comics: I’ve got some comic ideas I want to do, but I need to get them written out first. I don’t think either would be too long. Each maybe a couple “episode’s” length, if envisioned on a website like webtoons or tapas. They’d both be heavy in allegory, but not overly drawn out (hopefully)

11)And lastly, Finish the 5 remaining one-shots I had planned for this year but never got around to. I’m going to try to write one every other month. Pure self-indulgent shipping fluff. If I finish these 5, then maybe I’ll ask other people for more prompts and ideas, which I’ve never done before. We’ll see how it goes~

Also, Like last year, I’d like to look at everything that’s happened to me this year, though to be honest, I’m not sure how much I remember/how accurate it’ll be. God, I don’t even remember what January was like. Who was I back then? Who were we all back then? I guess I’ll start my yearly retrospective in march because, heh, god we ALL know what started happening in march.

Firstly, I paid off my last student loan! Then a week later on March 18th, I drove half an hour out of my city to adopt a cat and I love her and it was the best day of this year for me. Spring break is just beginning this weekend, but the attendance at the zoo is shockingly low this year. Apparently, a lot of people watch the news, and they’re all taking precautions about social distancing. I wasn’t too disappointed. Fewer people at the zoo, the easier my job is for me. I was looking forward to getting some free overtime on spring break, since I’m broke after paying off that loan, and I’m a cat parent now and have a furry child to feed. Monday rolls around. My manager calls me and tells me that the zoo is going into lockdown until further notice. I worry for the birds I take care of, but understand it’s for everyone’s safety.

For two months I sleep in and watch way too much YouTube. I join a couple writing discords. I have nightmares about my birds escaping their enclosure and I dreamed one of the security guards I really like at the zoo gets covid and has to go to the ER. I woke up really upset.

I started and finished BBS for the first time. I also replayed and finished KH2 final mix for the first time. It had been about 5 years since I last played KH2 before my PS2 died, and it was like coming home~ I also finished tearaway, and played and beat Ryme for a second time (which I can’t remember if I did that last year, but it was a fun experience regardless)

Mid-June, and I’m allowed to start going back to work, be it on reduced hours. The zoo is still closed to the public, but I’m loving it! I get to work with full-time keepers and do full-time keeper things. It’s so much fun not having to deal with the public. August starts to creep up and there’s a rumor that the zoo will be opening to the public again, which I’m not stoked about. I don’t want to go back to standing in one exhibit all day, talking to guests who don’t listen to the rules or to me. 2 of my younger coworkers (who had both only been there a couple of months) get chosen for full-time positions, while I get passed up which really pisses me off. My other 2 coworkers quit when they think we might be reopening because they cannot risk catching the virus due to at-risk family. I am now the last keeper in the interactive bird exhibit.

I keep working, the zoo slowly opens, but with me as the only interpreter in our interactive bird exhibit, we can’t open because I can’t run the entire exhibit by myself. So my exhibit stays closed. September comes and goes, and then October starts. Now there is more serious talk of opening my exhibit before the end of the year because the zoo expects to bring in larger crowds for the Christmas lights event in November/December. I ask if I get hazard pay or health insurance since I’m doing full-time hours until they hire more staff. They say no.

I immediately start searching for a new job feeling incredibly indignant/hurt/slighted/insulted/used/abused/ALL the negative feelings at my job. I had been there for 4 years, but never got a chance to work full time, while the two newest hires who had only been there 2 months both got moved up. I can’t help but feel they were holding one mistake I made two years ago against me and never wanted to give me a chance. (that, or they knew I was reliable when it came to showing up for work in such a volatile position that sees a lot of new faces, and they didn’t want to bother going through the process of hiring someone new) I don’t want to risk my life working around guests who don’t wash their hands and don’t properly distance. I don’t want to gamble with my health when they won’t offer me health insurance because I’m part time.

Mid October, I get an interview for a full time job and get hired on the spot. I peace out at the zoo 2 weeks later, literally 3 days before they planned to open my exhibit to the public. It was a close call for me to escape before they opened to the public (and pettiness was only partially the reason I dipped out so close to opening). Sorry new hires who are now in charge of the bird feeding exhibit. I taught you the best I could in the short time I had. If the managers are struggling with what to do with one less person, I can’t say I feel bad. I can only hope they delayed opening/closed you down again for your own safety. You are not lightbulbs. I really hope the higher ups stop considering you as replaceable as one. Will I go back to the zoo to visit? Probably. But not for a year at least.

I started my new job the very next day after I quit the zoo, and have been there ever since, (which isn’t that long yet, tbh. Christmas day was my 2 month anniversary). It’s full time, but it’s also a small business, and everyone’s hours this year have been on the short side due to the plague. I understand, though. They don’t want us to work if they can’t afford to pay us. Everyone is nice enough, though some people smoke and it’s hard to avoid them with how frequently we have to go in and out, and I really don’t want to get lung cancer, sorry not sorry, please and thank you. Also, with such a small team, gossip is certainly harder to go undetected, so it’s a relief knowing people don’t talk behind one another’s backs.

I participated and beat my 4th nanowrimo in a row, I made TWO apple crisps on thanksgiving, and made baklava on Christmas and both of these recipes were my first time making them, and they both came out adequately! I voted the first day of early voting, and I did an art trade/collab with two of my friends for my birthday! (normally we would have done monthly “art days” where we get together and do art projects for fun because we’re adults and we can spend our time together however we want, but the plague said otherwise this year) We drew pokemon and it was fun! (hopefully I can show you all the results soon. At the time of writing, I’m still waiting for the last two colored parts to get back to me)

I reached 100 pages on my undertale comic, and finish the first arc out of…! (im not sure. It’s either going to be 4 or 5, I haven’t decided yet)

Over all, I managed to stay healthy as far as I know. I wasn’t as productive as I wanted to be this year, but then again, who was? (don’t answer that. I don’t need that kind of comparison in my life right now)

Will 2021be any better? Honestly? I don’t think so. Not right away, at least. Just because a new year is about to start does not mean the slate is completely wiped clean. The change of the calendar year doesn’t magically make all our current problems disappear. Covid will still be here and cases will still climb when January starts. Small business will still be strained when the month rolls over, police will still go on murdering innocent civilians and getting away scot free, amazon and disney will still be monopolizing all consumer goods and media, and I can’t help but feel like there’s an impending shit show about to go down on inauguration day. I do hope things will get better, though. It’ll be arduous and unpleasant, but I do hope things will improve, because sometimes hoping is all you can do.

Good night.

#long post #new year's resolutions #year review #year retrospective

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lupusrcx · 4 years

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&&. cauldron above, ( yadriel demir ) was just spotted in the fae lands — word has it ( he ) is affiliated with ( the human resistance ). ( he ) is a ( 32 ) year old ( human ). it’s been said that ( he ) resembles ( can yaman ). ( he ) has been said to be ( cunning & analytical ) but also quite ( vicious & apathetic ). ( he ) is currently serving as ( head interrogator for the human resistance )

Name: Yadriel Demir

Age: 32

Species: Human

DOB: August 29th

Positive personality traits: cunning, intuitive, resilient, quick-thinking, powerful

Negative personality traits: calculating, selfish, arrogant, aggressive, apathetic

Occupation: Lead interrogator / torturer for the Rebellion

Family members: None---all deceased

When Yadriel and his mother first immigrated to the Autumn Court, he was just barely eight years old, and he was her only child, she ran away with him to escape an abusive relationship with his birth father in the human territories. Speaking only Turkish, and lacking in any specific skills that the Fae considered to be “useful”, Yadriel’s mother, Idina, took up a position as an indentured human housemaid within the grand estate of one of the Autumn Court’s minor lords. It all seemed like a wonderful dream come true to the little family that had known only poverty and squalor up until this point, but it wasn’t long before said dream turned into a wicked nightmare instead.

It became apparent to Idina Demir that the Lord of the estate wanted much more than simple household duties, he took advantage of her repeatedly and held the safety and well-being of her young son over her head so that she had no choice but to submit herself fully to his will. Soon, she bore him two children---another son, and a little girl. The Lord refused to acknowledge them as his own but allowed Idina to raise them as bastard children and despite the horrific nature of their conception, both Yadriel and his mother loved the two children greatly.

Yadriel grew from a boy to a man far more quickly than he should have, due to his mother’s long, hard hours of work and the never-ending list of demands that she was given by her employer, he played a crucial role in the parenting of his young siblings. His own childhood was sacrificed for theirs but not once did he resent them, or his mother, in the slightest. He grew up rough around the edges, participating in underground fighting rings for money by the time he was only fifteen years old, it wasn’t long before he was besting even the Fair Folk in combat as well as his fellow humans. They even developed a name for him, a title that he began known for on the streets: the Wolf.

All the while Idina was looking for a way out for her and her children. She worked herself tirelessly, and in an act of desperation, began to slowly steal small amounts of money from the Lord she’d been abused by for more than a decade at this point. She wanted to run away with Yadriel and his young siblings, she wanted to take them as far away as possible from the cruel man who refused the title of ‘father’ and had been nothing but unkind to them from the very beginning. Yadriel, whose hatred of the Lord had grown deeper and darker as he neared manhood, swore to his mother that he’d do whatever he could to get them out of there, and dropped out of school so that he could work to save up money for them as well.

But he was too late. The Lord had discovered that Idina had not only been stealing from him but preparing to leave him and reacted in a fit of pure rage. Yadriel came home late after a night spent bloodying his knuckles in yet another underground cage fight to the horrifying sight of the only family he’d ever known, his precious mother and sweet baby siblings, murdered and mutilated where they’d been sleeping in their beds. The Lord, however, was merely sharpening the blade he’d used to kill them and was already calling for his servants to deal with the mess.

In that moment there was nothing that Yadriel could do. There were Fae everywhere, the Lord himself was incredibly powerful and could have slaughtered him just as effortlessly as he did the rest of his family. So Yadriel, heartbroken and eternally ruined by the death of those he had fought so hard to protect and care for, fled. He went into the woods. For nearly eight years he lived alone, hunting and training in the wild, it was only when he was strong enough---a cold, hardened beast of a man that was more wolf than human---that he returned to Autumn Court, sought out the Lord, and spent nearly 72 hours torturing him in the most brutal, inhumane ways possible.

When he finally allowed the Lord to die, it was an act of mercy.

It’s been six years since then and Yadriel has been a member of the Human Resistance ever since. It was only natural for him to join their ranks, he detests all Fae with a great, terrible passion, and wants nothing more than their total and complete eradication. It made sense as well, for him to take on the role of Lead Interrogator, and it’s a position that he excels in. He’s able to turn off his emotions almost completely, he allows his blood to run cold so that he can focus on the greater good: avenging his family that had been so senselessly murdered after years and years of abuse and neglect.

There was only one chink in his armor, a small but major slip in his facade, and that was one Sophia Wren. A Garden-grown Nymph captured by the Human Resistance had been an excellent boon, Yadriel had felt no guilt whatsoever as she was brought in for her first session with him. But, throughout the year or so that she spent with the Resistance, she got under his skin, and he found that he could no longer continue with his interrogation of the soft-eyed and soft-hearted Nymph that he’d once viewed as an enemy.

He doesn’t know that Sophia was set free by his fellow Resistance members, as far as he knows, she escaped on her own, and he’s been looking for her ever since.

And that’s Yad! He’s deeply fucked up and has a lot of issues, most of which stem from his traumatic childhood and early adult years. I’m open to a ton with him, including an eventual mate / pregnancy plot that I’ve submitted to the main as a WC. Let me know if you’d like to plot and I’ll hit you up! <3

#yadriel demir || the huntsman #ahqintro #murder tw #abuse tw #noncon tw #pregnancy tw #violence tw #torture tw

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livingmybestfictionallife · 4 years

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Live Wire --The Dirt--

Little something I’ve been working on due to a lack of Douglas Booth!Nikki Sixx fics.

Summary: Wren Ledden, Tommy’s best friend from high school has had a rough life and she intends to keep the nitty gritty details of her suffrage to herself until the day she dies. Only Tommy has gotten her to open up about a small portion of her troubles, and it’s only Tommy who she trusts with her life. That is until her life gets turned around sneaking into a concert one night...the same night Motley Crue is born.

Since westward expansion and the Gold Rush, all anyone in the United States could think about were the promises that seemed to lie buried within the jungled streets of chaos in California. It was where everyone wanted to be—the ocean was beautiful, Hollywood was booming, the mountains up north were to die for, and the music scene was evolving before the world’s eyes. It seemed like the perfect place for anyone with a dream and the will-power to achieve it; however, for Wren Ledden, California was a cage that, since a young age, she promised herself she’d find her way out of.

Wren was smart, driven, and talented, but never seemed to be in the right place at the right time, and as everyone knows, timing is everything. School was all too easy for her and she even managed to complete all of her gen-ed courses for college while she was still a junior in high school. By the time she graduated with her high school diploma, she had her associate’s degree and a ‘the-sky’s-the-limit’ attitude toward the rest of her life. Sure, she didn’t have the money to attend a fancy college and she didn’t know what the hell she even wanted to study, but she knew two things: one, she’d worked her ass off throughout high school, and two, she deserved a break.

“Why the hell do you study so much?” Wren heard her one and only friend from high school grumble as she laid on her back and read from a Rolling Stone magazine.

“Do you even know what the hell I’m reading?” she huffed as she tossed the magazine at the lanky boy’s face.

“Rolling Stone,” he commented with an airy tone as he stole a glance away from his reflection to look at the magazine that rested beside him. “Cool. I just assumed you were being a nerd.” The all too familiar snarky laugh she had heard resonate through her friend’s lungs since middle school echoed against the walls of his room.

“Shut up, asshole.” Wren’s lips curled up into a smirk as she flipped over from her resting position on his bed to sitting cross-legged and watching her friend primp. “I still can’t believe you’re going to this concert with what’s her nuts and not me,” Wren sighed in exuberant frustration as her eyes drifted from her friend to the posters that littered the walls of his room.

“Oh, come on, Wren, give her a chance; I bet you’d like her! She’s really cool,” he whined as he turned around from the mirror and turned down the tape playing over the speakers.

“I bet,” Wren said dryly as her mind drifted from her friend’s new girlfriend to the band he was taking her to go see tonight. “I’m just pissed because I turned you on to London in the first place, Tommy.”

“And I know we always said we’d go together, but I’m trying to get her to give them a chance.”

“So you’re taking someone who may not even like the show over me, your best friend and musical connoisseur?” Wren shot Tommy a pained look and pretended to clutch her heart as she flopped backwards on his bed.

“Look, if it means that much to you, I can cancel tonight and we can go.” Tommy’s big heart was something that had drawn Wren to him in the first place. Throughout high school, she was an outcast; Wren had a different upbringing from many of her classmates, including Tommy, which led to her inability to trust others. Middle school band brought Wren the only friend she’d ever need, someone to share her interests, who was able to break down her walls, and whose family gave her what she lacked in her own familial life. Tommy’s chaotic extroversion saved Wren’s dry-humored introverted time and time again. Tommy had always been fond of Wren and he even found her cynicism humorous, albeit at first he was only interested in dating her, but as they grew closer as friends, both Wren and Tommy realized they were bonded for life.

“Go on your date, Tommy,” Wren sighed as she watched the slightest hint of disappointment cross his eyes.

“Meet me at the diner afterwards?” He asked with big, begging eyes. “I want you to meet her.” Wren considered her options: spend another night crashing in Tommy’s parents’ guest room and annoying his little sister, Athena, or meeting what would probably be another week-long girlfriend he had fallen head-over-heels for.

“Sure,” she sighed only to catch his infectious smile growing onto her lips. “But that’s only if I don’t decide to sneak into the show behind you like we did with that punk band last month.”

“Why the fuck don’t you just come with us?” Tommy asked as he jumped up from where he was sitting on the floor and spun toward where Wren was still perched on his bed.

“I’m not dressed for the strip,” she said as she tossed her arms out to the side and examined her attire. A black leather jacket hung from Wren’s shoulders as a hand-made cropped black shirt dangled around her torso, baring just a portion of her midriff as black leather pants hugged her legs and chunky boots were laced around her feet.

“Yes you are, and if we didn’t already know this,” he said and gestured between the two “would never work, I’d even say you were hot.” Tommy said as he pulled his own black leather jacked over the mustard yellow t-shirt he wore, and then stuffed his drumsticks through the loop of his studded belt.

“These are just my normal clothes; you know the slutty shit girls wear out there,” Wren continued, trying her hardest to keep from becoming a third wheel on Tommy’s day.

“I’ll even pay for you!” her friend continued to beg for her companionship.

“So you’re taking both of us out tonight?” Wren huffed with a cocky and teasing smirk on her face. As Tommy thought through his proposition, he raised his eyebrows and pointed at his best friend with a curious and playful look spreading over his face, however Wren was quick to shut his wandering thoughts down. “Just sneak off for a bit once you get there and come to that janky fucking door in the men’s room to let me in.”

“I can do that!” Tommy said as he opened his bedroom door and ushered for Wren to come with him down the hall and into the kitchen. As she paced through the halls of a home she’d come to know all too familiarly, she tried to avert her eyes from all signs that reminded her she lived there. She hated having to rely on anyone besides herself. Her own ability to provide for herself was all she had ever known. Even when she still lived at home, her parents were too self-indulged and too busy fighting one another to notice their only child. At eighteen, they threw her to the wolves, ready to be rid of her—the thing that in their eyes kept them from having the life they’d wanted—and claimed she would never make anything of herself. Thankfully, upon hearing of her misfortune nearly ten months after the fact, Tommy called bullshit on Wren’s parents and his family opened their home to her. Wren was beyond grateful for their generosity, but overwhelmingly guilty for even finding herself in the position to put someone out in such a damning way.

“You’re not a burden to my folks,” Tommy would always say. “They love you like the daughter they never had; because their real daughter is nice and sweet, and not anywhere near as fucking metal as you.”

Tommy and Wren’s friendship was an odd one—everyone who saw the pair together could see that much. He was a colorful person who expressed everything outwardly, whereas Wren was often described as dark and introspective. At shows, Tommy would be flailing his limbs around, letting the music speak to his body while Wren let the rhythm and lyrics fill her soul. She’d tap her foot and bang her head on occasion, but would never lunge herself into the mosh pit and crowd-surf among other fans as Tommy had on more than one occasion. However unlikely the friendship maybe, it was strong and, on many occasions, too strong for Tommy’s dates to handle. Girls who dated Tommy never understood how he could be so close to Wren without wanting to fuck her, and their suspicion always got the best of them. This always led to an end in the relationship after a huge fight over an ultimatum between Wren or whatever flavor of the week he was tasting.

Regardless of the Bass family’s insistence on Wren’s presence being nothing but welcome, she found herself ridden by guilt each night she ate their food and took up space in their home. Getting out of the house and going to see London with Tommy—even if they wouldn’t be together during the show—could be exactly what Wren needs to get out of the mental funk she’d been finding herself returning to for months now.

Wren was fine with the sneaking around and the ridiculous plots Tommy would find himself cooking up on how to avoid “the Wren issue” with his dates while also making sure he’d have a good time if his date abandoned him at a show. It wasn’t uncommon for many of the girls Tommy brought around to cower away from the rock scene, and as much of a people person as Tommy was, he hated being at shows by himself. Tonight wouldn’t be the first time Wren hung around at a concert waiting for her best friend’s date to bail at the sight of a fight, and she knew it wouldn’t be the last. Overall, she had fun: it was fun to sneak into clubs to watch her favorite bands, it was fun knowing that she was Tommy’s ride or die—the one who he knew would always be there to keep him company—and it was a hell of a lot more fun when the stuck up bitches bailed and she got to break out of her shell a tiny bit and join Tommy in the mosh pit for a song or two. Deep down, in the pit of her stomach, as she held her arms close and tried to ignore the subtly cool breeze floating through the Los Angeles streets, she knew tonight was going to be fun too.

“Fuck, Tommy, where are you?” she grunted. Wren leaned her back against the brick wall and kicked the bathroom door with the heel of her boot, impatient as to why it was taking him so long to come and get her. She accounted for the five-minute drive to his girlfriend’s house, and the five-minute drive back, but after standing in the chilly air for over twenty minutes, she allowed herself to grow impatient at Tommy’s tardiness. She knew in reality he was probably still waiting in the long ass line out front, so she tried to suppress the temper that usually came with her impatience. Tilting her head up and gazing at the sliver of sky between the buildings surrounding her, Wren let the cool air flow over her hot cheeks. Just as she was about to step away from the wall and peer around the corner to see if she could spot Tommy’s leopard printed ass in the sea of people waiting to get in, she heard the rusty creak of the alley door open and poked her head inside.

“Finally,” she sighed as she made the small jump from the ground up through the slightly elevated bathroom floor. “I thought you forgot about me Tomm—you’re not Tommy.” The bar was always dark and dingy, and the bathrooms were even more so than the rest of the establishment, however she was always easily able to distinguish her friend from other men. A tall man, no more than three or four years older than her, stood before her with a cigarette between his lips and a lighter in his left hand as his right hand grasped what appeared to be a glass of either whiskey or bourbon on the rocks. He wore a dark leather jacket with what appeared to be a dark shirt underneath and dark leather pants. His overall demeanor seemed to be in stark contrast of Tommy, and Wren straightened her posture and tone from hunched over joking banter to straight-line intimidation standoff.

“What the fuck are you doing?” the man asked once the alley door closed. He assumed that she wouldn’t want a confrontation and that she’d retreat from the venue out of submission or intimidation, but Wren’s eyebrows quickly stitched into a skeptical glare as she stood her ground. The man before her still had his lighter flicked open and a small flame burned in his hand while his hazel eyes peered down at the young woman. He tried to stand up straighter in order to intimidate her into explaining herself, but he got a sense nothing would make her stand down. She had fierce, cold eyes that seemed to cut right through him and in an instant of impatience, he opened his mouth to repeat himself, only to have her speak over him.

“What does it look like?” she scoffed and folded her arms over her chest. The man’s narrowed eyes, tense jaw, and teased, long black hair was nothing more than an obstacle keeping her from having a good time at a show she’d been dying to see.

“Looks like you’re sneaking in,” the man said with an arrogant smirk as he cocked his head to the left and took in the woman’s appearance.

“Congratu-fucking-lations,” Wren smirked, “you regular Sherlock Holmes.” Dropping her arms to her side, Wren took a long step forward to side-step the man in front of her only for him to take a quick step to his left and puff out his chest. “Come on, man,” she sighed. “You can’t be that much of a dick!”

“That’s where you’re wrong, sweetheart,” he smirked devilishly. He was certain the woman would crack and turn away to save herself the humiliation of continuing to linger in a men’s room, but the self-assured grin that traveled onto her face only caused his eyebrows to furrow in curiosity.

“You may be a dick, but you’re nothing but talk,” Wren stated and placed her hands gently on her hips, allowing herself to be in as vulnerable of a position as she could be in a situation like this in order to show how unafraid she was of the man before her. “I, on the other hand, have the balls to follow through. So, thanks for the, whatever the fuck public decency lecture that was, but I’m going to step around you now and watch what I expect to be a kick ass show that I’m, frankly, too damn broke to afford to see the ‘appropriate’ way,” Wren stated while using air quotes. “I’m also too damn broke to afford a drink, even in a hole like this, so,” without any warning, she slipped her fingers around the glass the man was holding, plucked it from his hand, and sent the burning, icy liquor down her throat in one large gulp, “thanks for the Jack, even if it is a pansy-ass whiskey if you ask me.” With nothing more than a light shoulder check, Wren took a long stride past the man standing in her way, and carried herself high as she paced past the line of men at the urinals watching the scene unfold, before she emerged into the bar.

It only took her about ten minutes to find Tommy in the masses of concert goers, and throughout the night, she managed to keep him in her sights just in case his date bailed; although at the end of the night, she was still pressed against the back of the venue, being forced to squint in order to make out which band was playing, while Miss Blondie hung close to Tommy. Wren had to hand it to the girl, she wasn’t like the other chicks Tommy brought to shows in hopes of turning them on to the rock scene. Even when the bassist of London threw a heavy hitting punch at the band’s lead singer, she didn’t run off like Wren had expected. Sure, she jumped back in awe as the rest of the crowd shouted either obscenities of shock or encouragement, but she didn’t run, and that deserved at least a little respect from Wren.

As bouncers rushed toward the stage to separate the two band members, other employees of the bar acted as ushers to escort the numerous patrons of various stages of intoxication out of the venue and into the streets to have a better chance of breaking up the fight without a brawl. Wren tried to call out for Tommy’s attention, but a slight panic came over her as she noticed a cop picking out another sleazy freeloader who had snuck in through one of the other weak points in security. Wren retreated the way she had come in—through the dank and abysmal restroom, leading into a dingy alley—and then disappeared into the crowd that dispersed along the sidewalk of the Sunset Strip.

Continue Reading: Next Chapter

#douglas booth nikki sixx #douglas booth the dirt #douglas booth!nikki sixx #the dirt douglas booth #the dirt fanfic nikki #the dirt #douglas booth!nikki sixx fic #douglas booth #the dirt fanfic #the dirt fandom #douglas booth fanfic

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talpup · 4 years

Text

Erase the Shadow: 10

Please remember, this fic is rated explicit and has warnings of sex, violence, and other possible triggers.

***If you prefer reading off AO3 here’s the link for that: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22027552/chapters/54738346

If you enjoyed reading this at all please comment and let me know. Since I post for free, think of it as nice way of leaving a tip. And since comments are the only thing that encourages me to keep editing and posting, it’s also a benefit for you.

Thank you to those who have left hearts. And a VERY special thank you to those who have recently left comments or re-blogged. They REALLY mean a lot.

As always, an extra special thank you to @inorganicone2230 for their encouragement and friendship. This fic was my personal guilty pleasure, and without them never be getting posted. You can also thank them for the idea on what Hizashi would want for his roleplay.

10.1

“So. About that roleplay you promised.” Hizashi said when they got home.

Her back to him, Teris stopped in the living room. Damn. She had promised him that, hadn’t she.

“Zashi, it’s--”

“Not Zashi, Babe. Mic.” Hizashi corrected.

It should be an easy enough thing for you to call me, he thought. You have no problem addressing me so formally at school. Just pretend we’re there.

“It’s late.” She sighed.

“You promised, Ris. Come on, Baby! It’ll be fun. I swear. If you really don’t like it after we get going, we’ll stop.”

He moved up behind her. Arms wrapping around her, he nuzzled and kissed her neck.

Teris rolled her head to the side, giving him better access.

Hizashi grinned against her. After nearly two and a half years together, he knew this was a clear sign that he had won his way.

Even so, he murmured. “You promised to do this if I was a good boy for you, Wren. Was I not good?”

“Answer’s debatable.” She breathed, her head falling back against his chest.

A hand traveled down her stomach, the other pulling up her torso, taking her shirt with it. Hizashi pressed his growing erection against her ass.

“Oh? You think I was a bad boy, Babe? Would you rather punish me for being naughty?” He bit hard at her neck.

“Shit! Zashi.” She stepped away. “No marks. We got school in a day.”

Hizashi grinned at her.

The urge to mark her up for the world to see was a constant one. But given that she had just agreed to do Friday and Saturday patrols with Shouta, the urge was that much greater.

He knew Shouta had always had a thing for her. But he had hoped that Shouta would get over it as his and Teris’ relationship continued and grew.

It was the reason why he was all the more affection with her when his best friend was around. It wasn’t to be cruel to Shouta, but to help him get over his attraction. To show Shouta that Teris was happy with him and he didn’t stand a chance. ...And maybe to be just a tiny bit cruel. Alright! Maybe most of it was to be cruel. But Shouta was cruel in his own ways too.

For instance, Shouta didn’t have to agree with Nemuri's idea that he and Teris should team up and patrol together.

Sure knowing that someone was out there watching his girls back would ease his mind. But he wanted Teris to lessen her number of patrols, not keep them up. And having Shouta out there with her… That just added an entirely different slew of worries.

He took his phone out of his pocket and synced the Bluetooth to impressive speaker system that he was constantly improving. Music from his ‘Get It On’ playlist played softly throughout the apartment.

Recognizing the music, Teris rolled her eyes, smirking.

Hizashi patted her ass and gave her head a kiss. He stepped passed her and made his way to the bedroom.

“Take five and relax a bit, Babe. I’ll be right back. Oh!” Hizashi turned back to her. “But don’t change or get undressed.”

“Alright.” Teris drawled out, watching Hizashi saunter away.

She knew better than to ask what he was up to. Hizashi liked to surprise. Even if he hadn’t, a part of her was too nervous to ask.

He exited the bedroom several minutes later.

At the sight of him Teris set down her phone.

“You get called in?” She asked, taking in his leather costume and styled hair.

Though disappointed, she was also a bit relieved. She might’ve promised to try roleplaying, but she wasn’t exactly eager to do so.

“Whose your favorite hero, Baby?” Hizashi asked, stalking over to her.

Teris blinked, thinking. She didn’t really have a favorite hero.

Everyone, including her liked All Might; even if he was too bold and loud for her to consider him a favorite. As a fellow underground hero, she liked and appreciated the way Shouta worked. Eraserhead might not have been widely known where the average citizen and media were concerned; but out on the streets the Hero’s name was whispered in fear. There was also Midnight and Mirko. Two fellow female heroes that she greatly admired. She supposed growing up her favorite hero had been--

“Me, Babe! You’re suppose to say me!” Hizashi exclaimed when she didn’t answer after a couple seconds.

He pouted theatrically, stopping in front of her sitting form.

“Zashi.”

She felt stupid and bad. Of course he had wanted her to say him. She really was a terrible girlfriend.

“Of course you’re my favorite hero, Sunshine!” She said rising to her feet.

“We’ll just skip the pre-play this time, shall we.”

She pulled back from his kiss in confusion. “Didn’t you get a call?”

“Yeah.” Hizashi grinned, hands gripping her hips and pulling her closer. “You’re the call, Sweetheart.”

Hizashi groaned wanting to shove his cock in the perfect ‘o’ her mouth made as realization dawned.

“You good with being the helpless civilian I saved, Babe?”

She nodded, mutely.

Hizashi smiled. Having her act the helpless civilian was just what he needed after a night like tonight.

“Call me Present Mic and tell me how thankful you are that I saved you.” He said, hands panning over her.

Looking away, Teris blushed and mumbled. “Thank you for saving me, Present Mic. I—I’m your biggest fan.” She added, trying to make up for the hurt she caused earlier.

“My biggest fan you say, Listener.” Hizashi grinned.

He turned them around so he could ease back into the couch. Sitting, he spread his legs wide and pulled her closer between them.

Teris’ shins hit the sofa.

Her legs squeezed together at the look in his spiraling green eyes. She knew that look all too well, and her mouth pooled with saliva, lustful eagerness rushing through her veins at what her boyfriend was about to ask her to do.

“Well since you’re my biggest fan, I should give you a treat.”

“You don’t have to, Mic. You already saved me. Just getting to see you is enough.” She said. Her growing arousal making it easier to play along than she would've thought.

“Aren’t you the sweetest little Listener. What d’ya say you continue being so sweet and give me a reward for saving you then?”

“Heroes don’t need rewards. Nor are they allowed to accept them.” Teris said, character breaking.

“Baby.” Hizashi chided, lightly.

“Sorry.”

Hizashi’s eyes raked over her, fingers tapping against his thigh. “So what do you say, Listener? Wanna show your favorite hero just how grateful you are?”

Teris nodded. Her shyness at the roleplay suiting the character response perfectly.

“Would my biggest fan like to suck my big cock?” Hizashi asked, hand moving to grip himself through his pants.

She nodded again.

“I’m gonna need a verbal answer, Listener. Let me hear that pretty voice of yours.”

“Yes.”

“Yes what, my little Damsel?”

“Yes. I’d like to suck your big cock.” Her cheeks heated in a blush.

He nudged her back and tossed a pillow on the floor between his feet. “On your knees, Listener.”

Teris knelt before him, her hands immediately going for the buckle of his belt.

“Eager are we?” Hizashi chuckled, gladly sitting back and letting her free him.

His hero costume was quite unforgiving when he got erections. He couldn’t count the number of times that he had jacked off in a bathroom because he had a boner and the damned thing wouldn’t go away.

He had complained about it once to Shouta years ago. And, rational as always, his friend had told him to wear looser pants. He wasn’t sure if Shouta didn’t know or didn’t care about branding. Skin tight, black leather pants were just as much part of his hero image as his trademark hair. He couldn’t simply wear looser pants for comfort sake.

“Oh! That’s it, Baby.” Hizashi groaned when his cock sprung free. “That’s nice.”

“I don’t know how you fit such a lengthy dick in those pants, Mic.” Teris said, trying to add a bit of innocence to the natural wonder of her voice.

She honestly didn’t know how he did it. Sure Hizashi was more of a shower than a grower, but still. The thought of his rigid dick being held down so tightly with no room to move. It seemed cruel, not to mention painful.

She kissed the ruddy head of his cock. “Such a proud, huge thing shouldn’t be locked away in those too tight pants.”

“It’s all part of the image girls love.” Hizashi exhaled, reveling in her firm yet gentle grip.

Teris’ hand tightened a fraction too hard around his angry cock before releasing.

Hizashi winced. “Roleplay, Babe! I don’t really mean that I like other girls looking at me.”

Teris could've argued that that was a lie, but didn’t.

Technically speaking, it actually wasn’t a lie. Hizashi didn’t like getting attention from other girls. He loved it. In truth, he loved getting attention from anyone. But even though most of his fans were sexually attracted to him, he had never once been tempted to cheat. Even when he and Teris had lived in different cities.

She noticed the bead of precum that had leaked out of his cock and smirked. “Does Present Mic like it a little rough?”

Hizashi's hips rocked lightly. The sensation of her heated breath ghosting over his dick was teasing and enticing.

“I’m a pro hero, Listener. I’m use to rougher treatment. Question is, can a sweet little civilian like yourself handle this pro hero’s big dick?”

Hizashi grinned at the slight sharpening of her eyes.

As bothersome as Teris’ pride and stubbornness could be, Hizashi had learned how to use it to his advantage. Like now, even though this was a roleplay Teris would take his question as a challenge and try to suck his eyeballs out through his cock.

Without a word Teris licked a long stripe up the underside of his cock. Her eyes rolled back when the flat of her tongue pressed against the very tip, the taste of his precum washing over her taste buds.

She moaned and Hizashi groaned in response.

He’d never tired of watching her mouth on him. The only sight better was his cock in her cunt.

The thought had more precum leaking out of his thrumming dick.

Teris was quick to lick the milky bead up, the tip of her tongue hungerly dipping into the slit seeking more.

Hizashi rocked his hips forward. “You like the taste of that, Listener? I’ll feed ya real good if you take all it in and show me how grateful you are that I saved you.”

She gave his length a few more licks, slicking it up then wrapped her hand around it.

Never afraid to be vocal, Hizashi groaned at her sliding, firm grip.

“You wanna be my own personal hero, Listener? Open up that pretty mouth of yours and wrap those sweet lips around me.”

Teris licked her lips and did just that. Her tongue swirled around his weeping head, moaning at the feel and taste of him. She might not have been comfortable roleplaying, but sucking him off was something she loved to do.

“Just like that. Good girl.” Hizashi breathed.

She moved, taking more of him in.

“Careful with those piercings, Listener.”

It was a needless warning that was made totally for the play. If anything, Teris had been overly careful around his Jacob’s ladder piercings during the beginning of their relationship.

His constant talk made Teris eager to get him to the point that he couldn’t speak. Her head dipped down taking as much of him as she could without gagging. Given his length a good portion of him was left for her hand to pump, her head bobbing in time.

“Fuck, Listener. You’re good at that.”

Teris moaned her thanks around him.

Unable to control himself, Hizashi’s hips bucked at the vibrations.

The head of his cock hit the back of her throat.

Teris tried to pull off him, but Hizashi's hand tangled in her hair, holding her in place.

“Don’t give up now, Listener. I was just starting to enjoy myself.”

Drool dribbled out of her mouth and down her chin. Teris groaned in mild protest.

Hizashi grinned down at her.

He loved making a mess of her. It was another sign of his possession. No one else got to do this to her. Shouta could go out on as many patrols as he wanted with her, but he would never see her like this. This was for his eyes alone.

The fingers of his other hand traced over her stretched lips. “Such a pretty, little Listener. I might just take you home and keep you. Would you like that, Beautiful? For your favorite hero to take you and keep you?”

He rocked into her mouth eliciting a gagged groan when he hit the back of her throat again.

“Sweet little thing like you should be kept safe at home. Protected from the eyes and hands of others. Just look at the trouble you caused me.”

Her eyes lifted to his while he pushed in and out of her mouth. It was only roleplay, but he was sure good at making it sound real.

Hizashi's hand tightened in her hair before pulling her off and quickly commanding. “Fuck, Baby, back up; so I can use you proper.”

Teris scooted back giving him space to stand and rose up to her knees.

Hizashi grinned, feeling smug that his girl was so perfectly trained. Well, almost perfectly trained.

“Open up that pretty mouth so I can fuck your face. If you’re real good, I might sing you a solo.”

Teris rolled her eyes. As if Hizashi was ever quiet during sex.

Remembering that this was suppose to be roleplay she gave him her best doe eyed expression. “Please, Present Mic. Use me for your pleasure. I’ll do anything to make you happy and see you satisfied.”

“Ris Wren.” He tilted her chin up, capturing her full attention.

The use of the pet name made her blink.

“Zashi.” She replied, tentatively.

Giving a slight nod, he questioned seriously. “Your remember what to do if I get too rough?”

“Yes.”

“Show me.”

Teris closed her hand into a fist, and activated her quirk. The shadows around the room lengthened, pulling toward her. Suddenly a dark, dense tendril sprung from the obsidian ring on her first finger.

“Good girl.” Hizashi praised.

He pet her hair lovingly before grabbing a fistful of it again.

Teris grimaced at the slight sting but the wave of arousal that washed through her was undeniable.

“Now open up, Listener. And no touching yourself. If you please your hero well I’ll give you a reward that’ll make you sing a sweet tune of your own.”

Even though Hizashi had never left her wanting, his promise sent a thrill up her spine. Her mouth opened and wrapped around him. But before she could begin both his hands threaded through her hair.

Her eyes widened when he pushed passed her comfort level, hitting the back of her throat. She gave a muffled cry of surprise, gagging around his cock.

Hizashi groaned. The vibrations of her stifled nose shooting straight through his dick, making his balls tighten.

“Damn, Listener. You take this pro hero’s cock like a champ.” Hizashi panted, fucking into her face.

With the rough pace he set all she could do was hold onto his thighs and take it.

The steady, rhythmic thrust of his cock felt good. Who needed a swinging watch to stare at when you had this. It was hypnotic. Her mind shut off, allowing her to just hover in the heady state of being used. Gone were life's concerns and the wrongs she could do nothing about. All there was was the feel of Hizashi's cock, pumping in and out of her mouth.

She became numb to his dick hitting the back of her throat. The reflexive urge to gag gone, she was able to fully bask the feeling of her mouth being filled. The wonderful drag of the underside of Hizashi's cock on her tongue excited her saliva’s production; causing copious amount of drool to stream down her chin and neck, wetting her shirt.

Like he had time and again throughout their relationship, Hizashi took a moment to revel in the image of her, committing it to memory.

“So, Pretty.” He murmured, staring down at her, his thrusts never missing a beat. “Such a good little Listener.”

Not that it makes up for you agreeing to patrol with Shouta on Friday’s and Saturday’s, his mind unwillingly thought. His hands tightened in her hair at the reminder. The snap of his hips instantly became sharper, the pull of her head more forceful.

Teris whined. The tears already prickling her eyes flooded over, rolling down her cheeks. Her wet, needy pussy clenched, aching for attention.

Green eyes trained on her stretched, swollen lips, Hizashi continued ruthlessly fucking into her hot, wet mouth. He could feel himself getting close despite the tempo he kept. He had chosen a slower song to fuck to wanting to draw this out, but it didn’t matter. The sight and feel of her was just too good.

The wet sounds, ragged breathing, and whining moans coming from her were a far better tune to work by anyway; and he let himself go. He forgot about the song in his head and focused solely on music they were making together.

Teris could feel his cock come alive and pulse in her mouth.

“Fuck, Baby. You gonna swallow?” He panted out quickly.

Unable to answer, she tugged at his thighs.

“Fuh—Yeeeaaahhh!!” Hizashi cried out, his entire body shivering as he came.

Hot, thick cum spurted into her mouth. She almost swallowed when a better idea came to her. Holding the milky treat in a pool on her tongue, she pulled off of him.

Eyes locked on his, she showed him before swallowing, and sticking out her tongue.

Still panting slightly, Hizashi smiled widely. “Well if that doesn’t deserve a reward, I don’t know what does, Listener.”

#bnha #hizashi yamada #yamada hizashi #present mic #yandere hizashi #aizawa shouta #shouta aizawa #eraserhead #yandere #my hero academia #erase the shadow

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rueur · 4 years

Text

Morning Pages No. 61

Monday 24th August - 1:04pm

I know that it’s a bit late in the day to start this entry, but I needed another bit of a morning off. Evan and I had an early night last night but we had sex first. We were both so tired afterwards due to consistent daily workouts, that we ended up falling asleep naked and staying asleep till about 8am. To be clear, we went to bed around 10:30pm, so it was a long night of sleep for both of us. I’m grateful for it though, because even though my calves still hurt like crazy, I do feel refreshed and like the healing process is underway. What did we do this morning? The son of a bitch restarted Breath of the Wild and we’ve both been playing on his new save file. I have to buy another copy of that game because I really want to replay it now. Even so, I have a lot of work to do and I’m yet to make proper headway on Julie’s new site. It’s coming along relatively fine in Squarespace but I’ve only worked on it for about an hour and I’ve yet to add the privacy policy and finetune a lot of the product links. I feel like we’ll absolutely need to add some copy for the products, and definitely put a disclaimer about the use of fabric softener either at the top of the description or below...or both? It’s pretty important.

I’ve been chatting to Sarah on Whatsapp. I feel like Sarah is a bit of a better influence on me than Wren, but I hate that I’m comparing them both in my head. I just feel a bit disheartened in my relationship with Wren, because of all the horrid experiences I’ve had with them over the course of this year. It’s been quite confronting to see how Wren acts when they’ve decided they’re in a more dire situation than me...like I’m not even sure if that’s what’s happened, but that’s what it’s felt like to me. I can’t understand how they’ve just been able to decide that just because they’re living alone, this time is harder on them? I don’t know. And even if it is harder, which I can admit that it most likely is, that doesn’t mean that I should have to incorporate addressing their pain into my life on a daily basis. I was willing to chat every day. But I also don’t want to feel like my life has to be placed on hold for them, whenever they may want me. I’ve felt like that enough in this friendship as it is. I’ve given them whatever I’m capable of giving, and I’ve given them a hell of a lot more than I’ve given any other friend I have ever had. Except, maybe, for Malith. But Malith has certainly given me more than I’ve given him. Goddamn. I’m fighting the urge to delete this whole paragraph, but I deserve to express myself. This year has been fucking hard for me. I’ve not been suicidal, because that part of my life is over. Even if Evan and I break up, that part of my life will always always be over. It’s no longer an option in my head, to go down that route. It’s a time-waster. There are better things to do than yearn without end, than wish for better than you’ve got. I’ve been dealt both a bad and good hand, and it’s only bad because I see it as so. It’s only good because I see it as so. Wren needs to learn that everyone has fucked up mums, figuratively speaking. Everyone has SOMETHING that they wish they had lived without. Everyone has SOMETHING that they wished was just a smidge better than it was. I don’t want any part of explaining all the fucked up shit that has happened to me over the course of my childhood. I don’t want to have a dick-measuring contest when it comes to depression and trauma. Fuck that. I’d much rather live in the present and be happy with the life I’ve built for myself. Even Wren needs to feel their privilege to a certain degree. It would be ludicrous if they didn’t. Two apartments, a job that they love that compensates them really fucking well, and an abundance of resources that provides them with independence and agency. I have so little of all that they have, and I’m working my ass off for next to nothing in return, just building up a resume that may not even receive a stolen glance at the end of all of this mindful building. Who knows? My fate rests in the hands of people who I feel quite sincerely don’t want me to succeed. I have a name and face and degree that is just...unhireable. But I don’t let that beat me the fuck down, because I know that I work harder and fucking smarter than anyone else on that pile of resumes. So I keep going, knowing that my work will become of a benefit to whichever organisation I end up representing.

My whole being right now is just revolving around entering the industry, like properly becoming a content writer and being able to actually use my degree to begin to pay off that motherfucking HECS debt. I know I’m swearing a fucking lot, but I feel like it’s actually helping me so I’m not going to stop. I don’t care who reads this and who judges me for it because at the end of the day, you’re the ones reading these sensitive pages on a blog that I’ve told nobody about. How did you get here?

I’m feeling paranoid, fired up. I can feel it in my fingers. My hands are freezing cold, and Evan’s in the one room that has the heater and he’s sitting there on his ass with the door shut. And I’m starting to feel like maybe I always find myself on the outside because I allow myself to get there. I have to start standing up for my damn self, but also...I know how to choose my battles, I suppose. Is it knowing how to choose your battles if you partake in a MINIMAL number of battles? Like a fractional amount of battles to the battles that you could have potentially fought in? Fuck. Nicky’s sleeping on my white vest. I may need to patch that up, but the inner fabric is so sheer, I’m not entirely sure how it’ll respond to a needle and thread. I may need excess fabric...we’ll see.

My cross-stitch order is on the way, and I’m excited to begin this new activity. I bought a hot air balloon pattern for Wren, I’m not sure if I’ve already said that. I’m looking forward to learning how to do this, because apparently it’s quite similar to knitting? Or at least the basics of knitting. I’ve heard that cross-stitch is a good introduction to knitting. After this, it may be good to see if I can give crochet a go too, but it’s also a little bit intimidating. I mean crochet is all about three-dimensional creations, whereas cross-stitch and knitting are generally more...patterned art, scarves, and blankets. Still functional, but more veering on the side of two-dimensionality. I’m a touch surprised that ‘dimensionality’ is a word. It feels like the kind of word that a primary school-aged student would assert is ‘ACTUALLY A WORD’, even though you know it’s not. OH, listen to this fresh hell! That ‘SNACCIDENT’ Typo lunch mug thingo we have says that the word ‘SNACCIDENT’ is a VERB, which is plain RIDICULOUS. If the word ‘accident’ is a noun and they’re claiming that ‘SNACCIDENT’ is a verb, then a sample sentence using that word would read as follows: ‘Henry snaccidented’. VERBS ARE FUCKING DOING WORDS. In no CONCEIVABLE UNIVERSE would ‘SNACCIDENT’ be considered a VERB. My fucking lord. These pages are just RAGE-FILLED, aren’t they? Which is actually pretty interesting, because I don’t feel mad? I feel fine. I feel a little bit annoyed that it’s almost 1:30pm and I’ve not done a lick of work either today or yesterday. I’m thinking I should send Julie a text today asking if she’d be free to meet up again sometime early next week, maybe Tuesday or Wednesday? I feel like I could make great progress on the website during that time. We shall see what happens. We shall see what I eventually get around to doing. I need money, gosh darn...

I feel like I’ve been writing a lot about money during these pages, and I understand why. Money has become a bit of an issue for me since moving out, which I know...doesn’t necessarily need to be said. But you must understand that I’m studying AND working AND working AND working AND working. And I’m still not making that much. It’s frustrating. I’m trying not to think about it right now because of lockdown and the fact that the bulk of my situation is currently out of my own control, but this is all really because of the house. Just knowing that Evan and I are ready for that step is enough for me to just want it now. The issue is - as is usually the case - MONEY. If we had enough for at least a 10% deposit, that would be insane. But a 10% deposit on a house valued at $500,000 is $50,000, and combined we only have HALF of that. If we could potentially get some rich parents or guardians to match what we have, then we could actually do it. But who even has rich parents or guardians? And I don’t think my dad would sign off on this until maybe after we’re married? I’m fighting the urge to go check if the house is still even listed online. I’m hopeful that it’ll be up until we have the money. Or maybe until we can get to a combined $30,000, to give us a bit of a buffer once we’ve given the rest of our money to whichever gross corporation decides to grant us a loan. Ahhhhhh. Why does this world try its hardest to strip you of all your agency? Why is it that so many people struggle to even find a place to be? A place to call their own? It’s cruel. I can only hope this archaic order is on its way out. I was hoping the realities of climate change, or police brutality, or perhaps even COVID-19 would pave the way for the people’s revolution, but I now feel it may be something more innocuous, more unexpected. Something that the bigwigs won’t see coming, as the people themselves won’t see it coming. Even so, everybody knows that it’s on its way. The ultimate fight between the oppressors and the oppressed, and the one brawl that may reveal the future of western society. Democracy is indeed dead. We’ll see how quickly the next system comes into place, and exactly whose side that system will be on. And as for the universal base income, I find myself rooting more and more for it, but I also know that it may be provided to us as a band-aid, built to keep the people’s revolution at bay. But as long as there are billionaires, there’s no way that the revolution won’t be coming. Exponential growth cannot occur unless it’s built on the backs of millions, billions. This current system is just not economically viable, which is ironic considering that ‘economic strength’ is usually the reason capitalists vouch for capitalism. I believe capitalists are just people who haven’t shirked their ‘American Dream’ yet, who basically still believe in Santa Claus. I’m not even sure what to call myself. A social capitalist? I believe people should feel compelled to build their businesses and to innovate their industries, but I don’t believe in penalising those who have ‘valueless skills’. I also refuse to believe there is such a thing as a ‘valueless skill’. Perhaps being able to write stream of consciousness entries is a valueless skill. That may be the only thing.

#morning pages #streamofconsciousness #61 #artistsway #money #wren #work

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aka-willow · 4 years

Text

The Looking Glass

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Words: 1978

Characters: Willow Wren, Marty Fields, Phil Coulson, Daisy Johnson, Melinda May

Prompt/Tag:

“We have to leave the country.”

Summary: Willow receives unexpected visitors following the library incident

Timeline: October 2015

Song: The Hall of Mirrors - Kraftwerk

A/N: uh-oh sisters!

—————————————————————————–

It seemed that my prayers weren’t answered. I spent the days after the library incident completely paranoid, feeling like this was becoming a pattern, some incident escalating, the fallout paranoia, and then the eventual slide back into normalcy until the next one.

I need to stop. I need to stop.

That Thursday was the first day I was able to not obsess over what happened. Marty and I made a pact to not talk about it, and I made a promise to never let Marty get that close again. That was a mistake. He saved me, but what if it went differently? No more help.

I got home from school early that day, only feeling a little better after learning that Adrian Lester had been arrested, and the fire alarm pull had been attributed to him as well, as an escape tactic. I tried not to let it get to my head, but I was shocked that I had gotten away with it, right out in the open, in broad daylight. Stop this, stop this Willow. We’re going down a dangerous path.

I had texted the Lab Rats group chat, asking if they remembered anything about a book, but so far, no one had remembered anything. Was it… like… a Bible? Some HYDRA Nazi book? Just a random bedtime story? Is that what Monster was? Just a bedtime story?

I was so deep in thought that I didn’t even hear someone approached our door until they knocked. I froze in my room and opened my bedroom door, poking my head out. Both Marty and his dad were out—it was just me home.

“Oh, what the fuck?” I whispered. I considered just not answering it, maybe they would think no one was home. Okay, we go out through the window, fly to the roof, regroup from there—

No. No powers. I have to face this as a normal person would. I didn’t do anything wrong. I have nothing to hide. It’s that simple. Besides, what if it’s just like UPS dropping off a package?

They knocked again and I crept towards the apartment’s front door before peering through the peephole. There were three people outside—official looking. Oh shit. HYDRA?

I should run, right now. Leave.

But if it was HYDRA, they would have come for me while I was at school. They wouldn’t knock, right?

I took another deep breath, checked to make sure my wings were hidden, and slowly opened the door, just enough to poke my head out. “Hello?” It was a man and two women. The man seemed to be the one in charge, which was one suckaroo for feminism.

“Hi, Willow?” the man asked. “Mind if we come in? We have a few questions about an incident you may have witnessed at the Henry Clay Public Library the other day.”

Oh SHIT.

I pushed away my panic and tried to remain calm and keep my expression neutral. “What? What incident?”

“It would be easier if we could sit down,” said one of the women. She wasn’t smiling like the man was.

“Is anyone else home?” The other woman asked.

I opened the door a little more, my heart pounding as I considered my options. “No…? Maybe… maybe I should call our lawyer or something. Are you police?”

“No, not police,” said the man. “I’m Phil Coulson. We specialize in strange occurrences, like the ones you may have witnessed, as part of the Strategic Homeland, Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division. And this is Agent May and Agent Johnson.”

I worked through the letters in my head. “Shield?” OH SHIT. “Wait… aren’t you guys… wait also hold on, who came up with the letters thingy was it really necessary, it’s kind of a lot…” I couldn’t stop talking, words were just pouring out of my mouth, my usual nervous rambles starting.

“Everything all right?” Agent May asked.

“Yeah, no, I’m fine. So… uh…” I cleared my throat. “What about the library? How did you even know…?”

“Oh,” said Phil, looking towards Agent Johnson for an explanation. “Agent Johnson, can you…”

“You posted on Instagram and tagged the library about ten minutes before it happened,” Agent Johnson said simply. She pulled out her phone and showed me a picture. “This one?”

Oh… fuck. It was a selfie of me and Marty with the caption come to Henry Clay Public Library if you want an ass kicking in the next 30 minutes.

Phil chuckled. “It’s amazing. Every year this part of our job gets easier. Between Facebook, Instagram, and Flickr—”

“Flickr?” I interrupted. “No one uses that anymore. I mean, Snapchat, for example, might be way more helpful if you used the—" I stopped, realized I was rambling again.

“Use the…?” Agent Johnson asked.

“There’s… uh…” I glanced out the window. “A vulnerability that uh…allows you to view Snaps under a specific um… geotag… never mind.” Can you stop talking? Is that possible for you?

“Well, as much as I would love to talk about what’s hip with the kids these days,” Phil said, “We just need to know if you saw anything out of sorts at the library yesterday. Anything strange, unusual?”

Just play dumb.

“I mean... the fire alarm went off. Why would they call you guys in for that?” I plopped down on the couch, putting my shaking hands underneath my legs as the other agents sat down across from me. Get it together! I forced myself to make eye contact with Phil since Agent May wouldn’t stop staring me down. “

“Willow, our team learned of the arrest of a person of interest that took place at the same time you evacuated the building.” Phil pulled out a photo of Adrian Lester and showed it to me. “However, a security camera by the front desk captured the agent being thrown back by an unknown force before his arrest and the injuries sustained are believe were inflicted by a powered individual. That’s why we were called in. Here.” He pulled up the security footage and I watched Adrian hit the desk again, flinching as he did so. Did I really throw him that hard?

“Damn, that’s crazy,” I said, not sure of what else to say, kicking myself for forgetting about the camera by the front desk. “I didn’t see anyone though if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Did you see anyone talking to him before the alarms went off?” Phil asked. “Or perhaps what he was doing?”

“I was just there studying,” I said evenly. “No, I didn’t see anything.”

“You didn’t seem him get approached by anyone, or anyone else suspicious in the building?” Agent May clarified.

“No,” I said again, this time a little more forcefully. “Look, I have a lot of homework, so…”

“Okay, all right,” said Phil gently. “We’re just going around and trying to figure out our next steps and questioning anyone who may have seen anything. Thank you for your time.”

I saw Agent Johnson glancing around the apartment, and it was making me nervous. None of this felt quite real and I was already thinking about what this meant for our Rat Revolution, for the others. If SHIELD finds out about us, about what we’ve been doing, we’re going to be in some real hot shit.

This was exactly what Jessica warned you about and you ignored her.

“Who else do you live here with again?” Agent Johnson asked, suddenly.

“Uh… don’t you guys know?” I asked. “I mean, government and all? NSA shit?”

The others looked to Phil as he answered. “Well, actually, you were a bit difficult to track down. Did you move recently? Your records were a bit…well… sparse, to be frank.”

Oh, no. Answer this one carefully.

“Uh… actually yeah,” I said. “Um… there was a big fire.” Why the fuck would you say that? “House burned down… and then uh… my parents died.” Where did that come from? “You can look it up. The Gideon Barn fire.” Willow—stop! Are you on crack or something? “Small farming community. Came to stay with these guys. Family friends.” I shifted my pose to the same one I did when I didn’t do my homework, elbows on the knees, leaned forward like I was going through something, so the teacher would feel bad.

“Sorry for your loss,” Agent May said.

“It’s fine.” No, don’t say that! “Is that everything?” I asked.

“I think so,” said Phil, standing up, the tone in the room shifting again. “We’ll be in touch if we need anything else.”

“Cool,” I led them over to the door. “Well, yeah, stay in touch. Would love to talk again sometime. Sorry I couldn’t help.”

“Nice meeting you,” said Agent Johnson and I forced a smile.

As soon as I shut the door behind them, I huffed a deep breath in, leaning against the door for support, all the anxiety from the interview filling me at once. I felt lightheaded and sat down instead, my head against the wall. This is bad. This is really bad.

I could still hear their voices as they waited for the elevator, and even though they talked in whispers, I could hear them.

“Think she was hiding something?” Agent Johnson asked. “I mean, we can agree that was weird, right?”

Ouch, thanks for that jab to my self-esteem.

“Perhaps,” said Phil. “The question is, why?

“Do you think it was her?” Agent Johnson asked. “I mean if the ACTU finds this person before we do…”

“We’ll find them,” said Phil. “But for now, until we know what we’re dealing with, we’re not equipped to—”

Their voices faded as the elevator descended and I was shaking again. Why didn’t they ask to talk to Marty? Why come here? How much do they know? And why not just scoop me up now?

I went to the window and stared out, half-expecting to see a bunch of black SUVs parked in the street.

My first instinct was to talk to Fanisimo and some of the other Lab Rats and see if we could put together a hack, but if we made a wrong move, it would expose all of us, plus then I’d have to admit to them what I had been doing behind their backs—straying away from our original plan to just expose the old Facility workers, but confronting them, using my powers in the open. Drawing attention to myself.

The door opened and I jumped, stumbling back, only to see Marty slipping his shoes off.

“Hey,” he said. “How are you feeling?”

“We need to leave the country,” I said, and then paused and put a finger over my lips. Bugs. They could have left bugs.

“What are you…” Marty started, and I turned on my phone light to check under the coffee table and furniture, anything the agents had made contact with. When I saw they were empty, I turned off my flashlight and motioned to Marty.

“Turn off your phone.”

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

When he powered it off, I told him about the agents. “They were here, Marty. In the apartment,” I whispered. “They know stuff, and I don’t know how much.”

“So, what does that mean? What now?”

“It means that I’m done. Everything has to be back to normal. I don’t know how many resources they have or what they know. From here on out, I promise, everything is going to have to be normal.”

It means I’m shouldn’t take my phone with me anymore when I do these operations. It means I have to be twice as careful, no more sloppy work. It means I need to finish this before anyone else finds me.

And what do I mean by finish?

Find Subject Zero. Find Doctor Turner. Find out what Monster was. Destroy anything that’s left of it.

#ww writing #willow wren #marty fields #phil coulson #melinda may #daisy johnson

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