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galacticlamps · 3 years

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im sorry im sorry im sorry i know it’s been well over a year but i accidentally thought about Short Trips: Deleted Scenes (again) and it’s killing me (again) so i think im just gonna go ahead and post all these stupid thoughts that have been plaguing me about it since i first heard it & maybe that’ll help clear up some space in my head for like, real life things.

Spoilers I guess? It’s like a year and a half old but also high key the most recent 2nd doctor content i believe we’ve gotten which is like, the only negative thing I can say about it

The TLDR version is this:

I literally cant believe how sweet it is? Painful, but sweet. Like. I don’t honestly know what’s more likely - did they set out to write Jamie a nice little straight love interest and just fail miserably at it by constantly likening her to the Doctor AND paralleling the Doctor’s perspective with her ex’s AND putting Jamie’s relationships with both of them in direct tension with each other while constantly letting his with the Doctor win out?

OR - did they do a very 1960s thing and say hey we’re gonna write what’s essentially a story about how much Jamie and the Doctor love each other and release it on Valentine’s Day thinly disguised as a one-off romance with a french lady?

Now, as a general rule, my attitude toward questions like that is usually “don’t know, don’t care, doesn’t matter” - and while I 100% stand by that, I also have to admit that this particular audio seems to pay enough attention to detail that I’d kind of think I was selling it short if I assumed too many of these things were just meaningless coincidences, you know?

Anyway, that’s the most coherent/overarching thought. And here’s a disorganized list of things I absolutely cannot get over about it (they don’t form any kind of argument, mind, they just all happen to live rent free in my head):

- Celine is first taken in by Jamie being an idiot (specifically him claiming not to speak French, in perfect French); likewise, her entrance in the scene where they actually kiss is marked with a little anecdote about her hat getting stuck on a doornail and her scolding it as she attempts to fix her un-tameable appearance, and the narration says Celine “would often clown for Jamie like this” - all of which, while undeniably adorable, don’t exactly strike me as entirely original traits to have been assigned to Jamie’s love-interest (but also Celine is so cool and her perspective on film/media/time is an excellent addition to the long list of dr who characters)

- When they’re in the present, describing Jamie’s relationship with Celine in 1908, they call him her “companion” and highlight his going nearly everywhere with her, which earns a laugh from the 4th doctor (and me as well, though probably for slightly different reasons - but like, is that really all it takes to have a fling with someone in 60′s era who? bc if so...)

- Celine’s ex-fiance is still in love with her and is jealously watching when she kisses Jamie ... and then the Doctor appears beside him, evidently doing the exact. same. thing. They have the following conversation:

“You know, it’s not prudent to spy on people. But then, people in pain can’t be expected to act prudently.”

“Pain, monsieur? You mistake me.”

“Ah, do I? Good, because I rather thought you’d lost something.”

“What would you know about loss monsieur?”

- I’m sorry doc but who do you think you are, saying stuff like that and smiling sadly at the floor to boot? I 100% had to pause it here the first time I listened, just to not throw my laptop across the room.

- Then when I recovered continued, the Doctor closes the door so they can’t watch anymore and explains “Possessing things comes so terribly easily to some men that losing them can feel cruel, intolerably cruel. In my experience, only the very best of men cannot be tempted to answer that cruelty with more - I do sincerely hope that you are the best of men.” (guess who gets described as the best of men by the end of the audio?)

- Jamie and the Doctor apparently develop a habit of walking along the river in Paris in silence

- During one such walk, Jamie suggests Celine come with them since she already figured out about the Tardis - and when the Doctor’s worried by this, he says he only allowed Jamie & Celine to grow closer “because of Victoria.” Jamie takes offense at the ‘allowing it’ comment and also refuses to admit he knows what the Doctor means about Victoria, which leads the Doctor to say that he knows how fond Jamie was of her - he was too, of course, but with him, “it was different, wasn’t it?” Jamie only says maybe that’s true and maybe that’s not, but his voice catches until he changes the subject

- Jamie doesn’t see Celine for days both times that she’s recovering from the shock and depression of her work being destroyed. In contrast, when the Doctor’s not well, Jamie’s "afraid” and “guilty” and hardly seems to leave his side at all, if his being there “rushing to embrace him” the second he wakes up - after a period Jamie describes as “at least a week” - is anything to go by, anyway. so either bf writers need to learn how to write a committed straight relationship or admit that’s not what they ever intended in the first place

- Oh yeah, and the Doctor spends that week "asleep” in Jamie’s bedroom - no, there’s no explanation as to if that’s where he was when he first collapsed or if it’s where Jamie decided to take him bc why would they feel the need to explain him being there? why was it even relevant to tell us it was Jamie’s room in the first place?

- The Doctor somehow manages to control the Tardis enough to take Celine on one trip to an alien planet and then return to the correct time & place for her to use the footage she recorded there in her new film - and while the audio doesn’t do very much to explain how that was possible, it does treat this as A Pretty Big Deal, and immediately afterward the Doctor has to spend a week communing with his past self (and/or the Tardis?) debating how likely it is that the Time Lords could use this to trace him. When he decides it’s not worth the risk and they have to stop the film from ever being shown to the public, Jamie asks why he agreed to it in the first place, and all he can say is “Because, Jamie, you asked me to!” earning awkward stares from the crowd.

- Oh, but, lest we forget, that little outburst is also immediately followed by him putting his arm around Jamie’s shoulders, and, shockingly, apparently beginning to actually explain the truth about the danger from the Time Lords - until they’re interrupted, of course idk why exactly but the idea of a 60s dr wanting to come clean with a companion but not being allowed to bc the show demands the war games be something of a reveal hurts me in a very good way

- The mental image of “the Doctor and Jamie, resplendent in borrowed evening wear”

- The audio admitting that Jamie’s not very good at subterfuge, and the Doctor asking if he’s going to be alright with them having to steal the film back from Celine - and Jamie’s little “Aye, Doctor” as he feels a ‘glass arrow piercing his chest’ glad to see bf is reading all my letters about exactly how i feel any time something sad happens to james robert mccrimmon

- The Doctor’s anxious to get out of there for obvious reasons, but he hangs around bc Jamie wants to see Celine again - which doesn’t happen, because of her aforementioned shock & depression, but she does leave Jamie a note that ends “you and that Doctor of yours - look after him Jamie, he loves you dearly, as do I.” yeah, if you didn’t want people to draw a parallel there, you could’ve picked, like, any other wording in the world.

- In case you weren’t fully convinced I’ve been reading too much into this whole audio already, consider this: Celine dies in Long Island in 1968, three days before her birthday - 1968 is when this story would’ve taken place in the show’s history (between Fury & Wheel), and dying three days before/after a birthday in America seems a bit... well I had some deja vu from it, anyway

- Four of all people being the one to bring back the film - I know he does it bc Sarah Jane makes him, but personally, I often feel like despite the length of his run, 4 is the Doctor with which we might’ve gotten the fewest glimpses into his interiority, so the fact that it’s him and not one of the more overtly sentimental Doctors makes it feel like it carries even more weight somehow, to me anyway. I think I wrote a post saying roughly the same thing about 4 & Fate of Krelos/Return to Telos but maybe I only did that inside my own head lol. Still, I’m all for any opportunities for Jamie to be one of the few characters to draw some noticeable emotion out of Four, but in fairness I haven’t touched too much of his EU stuff to really be able to compare the frequency with which this happens with other past companions

- Is Four referring to Two or Jamie when he says he got the film from “an old family friend”? Two did the actual stealing, but he probably means Jamie’s involvement - either way, it’s an interesting way of describing old companions - or selves?

- When Jemima goes to call Jamie a thief, Four is “roused” to defend him: “he really was the very best of men” again, any time four freely shows he cares about someone, im over the moon about it

- Oh ha ha, there’s an audio called “Deleted Scenes” featuring the Doctor who’s most affected by junked episodes. And at the end of it, a character who’s spent her life researching and lecturing about a lost film gets to watch it be ‘rediscovered’ after it’s gone unseen for decades. I feel marginally less stupid for reading into the other details of a story like this when it ends up deciding to be to be clever & slightly meta like that

But yeah

all in all, it’s kind of amazing to me that this genuinely reads like they sat down and said okay boys it’s valentines day, let’s write an audio where jamie kisses a girl, since that hasn’t happened except as a plot device in one story in 1967 - but then when they got down to business they accidentally(?) wrote a story all about how important his bond with the Doctor is and how easily that can be compared to a legitimate love interest (even if the love interest in question is a one off character & the extent of the relationship appears to be like one kiss & then having Jamie spend most of his time around the Doctor instead)

I realize there’s something slightly illogical about writing the words “shipping aside” after a post like this but seriously - no matter how many categories you’re able to see two & jamie’s relationship fitting into, this is 40 minutes of big finish just hitting you over the head with how powerful/special/important that relationship is, and with them being two of my favorite characters, i really haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since

#jamie mccrimmon #second doctor #big finish #Short Trips: Deleted Scenes #yes i am gonna tag this #two/jamie #i think it earned it with the line from celine's letter if nothing else #and quite possibly the doctor's so-called imprudent & pain-driven spying #but i'll leave it at that #in case anyone's looking at the tags to decide if they should actually read this rambling monster of a post #also if you for some reason read this but haven't listened to the audio -#a) that's kind of you to care what i have to say but #b) you could probably have listened to half of it by now lol #did i mention it's a stand-alone audio that only costs $3?#and it's more of a traditional audio book format with one narrator who voices all the characters?#sorry i wasn't ready to do a bf pitch in the tags here #i genuinely dont know why someone who hasn't already heard it would bother to read all this #but if anyone has - thanks?#i'll shut up now so you can get on w ur day :)

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jamaiskookie · 4 years

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bangtan headcanon: OT7 IN HIGH SCHOOL 📓✂️

☞ genre; fluff, crack

☞ warnings; excessively stupid

masterlist u wanna talk to highschool!bangtan?

《KIM SEOKJIN》

class clown

always manages to sneak kimbap in class, and stuffs his face despite being in the front row.

he’s alarmingly good at sneaking food into places.

cafeteria ladies love jin so much.

and every christmas he brings in his perfected sugar cookies and never shares them.

(he’s in the cooking club)

((he’s the only one in the cooking club))

will interrupt the teacher to make a bad joke.

“yes so helium is the fo- oh yes seokjin?“

“i was reading an excellent book about helium, i couldn’t put it down!! ahHAHAHHYUKHYUKAHHAHAHHA“

nobody’s?? really sure?? if he’s dating namjoon or not?? it’s the schools biggest mystery, there’s currently a betting pool going on worth about $500

likes to annoy namjoon and yoongi about holding bake sales.

is surprisingly good at planning parties?? but never hosts them?? hoseok always gets him to plan his parties and he even planned prom!!

he’s particularly proud with the theme he came up with.

‘zombie meets elegance‘

it was actually pretty nicely pulled off (much to the shock of the entire student body)

《MIN YOONGI》

student council president

takes his job very!! seriously!!

fights with the principal on funding daily.

doesn’t come to school without coffee and resting bitch face.

even the teachers are afraid of this short little emo boy.

is the only one who actually wears the school uniform properly with the little tie and jacket because that’s how you show school spirit.

definitely that closeted gay in high school who thinks nobody knows about his homosexuality when in fact, everyone knows.

(nobody has the guts to bring it up to him though)

“hyung why are you staring at jimin’s as-“

“-NO WHY GET BACK TO WORK”

actually enjoys doing morning announcements.

“make sure to check out jin’s dumb bake sale i think he’s selling brownies for some charitable reason anYWAYS time for min’s advice column!!“

min’s advice column is yoongi’s free therapy. namjoon suggested adding an advice column to the school paper so now yoongi just judges his classmates’s decisions gives subpar advice.

“i personally think you have no chance with this girl, but you’re clearly hell bent on asking her out. it’s a dumb choice. good luck.“

《JUNG HOSEOK》

fuckboy

throws obnoxious parties at his parent’s huge ass mansion.

somehow?? is?? the nicest? playboy??? evER??

will respect your girl’s boundaries but also would 300% hit on her when you’re not looking.

aftercare king wILL cuddle with you and help you clean up or whatever until jimin eventually comes in screaming.

his school id says “hobi 💦👅” ... noone knows how he managed to do it (taehyung thinks he seduced the secretary)

surprisingly good at romance even though he deTests dating

“it’s a waste of time, money, and ass.“ “- what?”

gives everyone dating advice whether they want it or nOt- he lives his *shhh very secret* romantic fantasies through his best friends.

once helped taehyung ask out his girlfriend... they’re still going strong!!

defo has daddy issues that he never talks about,, maybe if a girl finds it sexc™️ in that kind of messed-up-bad-boy-she-could-fix vibe he’ll bring it up

kinda failing science lmao he probably needs a tutor.. but will never admit he needs a tutor for sake of his pride.

most definitely has had sex in the janitor’s closet a couple times, up until yoongi caught him once, reported him to the school board and got him suspended... for a month.

(yoongi has no regrets, that was the best month of his life.)

《KIM NAMJOON》

student vice president

honestly would probably be the council president and is the most qualified for it but can’t be bothered.

plus he hates public speaking and the president has to speak at assemblies.

genuinely enjoys learning!! bUT HATES GROUP PROJECTS

because every single fucking time taehyung and jimin pester him about teaming up and he ends up doing like 75% of the work.

not because anyone forces him to or anything.

it’s because jimin and tae are such dumbasses every time they finish their work namjoon has a sudden uRGE TO REDO ALL OF IT BC THEY GOT IT WRONG.

tries to take all AP subjects.

gives up and drops half of them by the second semester.

great student but also will “no yoongi i don’t want to fucking play basketball i've been awake for thirty hours trying to finish this goddamn essay that’s due tomorrow. wHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY DIDN’T I DO IT EARLIER I WAS BUSY TAKING CARE OF MY BONSAI TREES.“

started the school paper!! it’s called “persona post”

writes about actual relevant things like political events and global problems, but everyone else just writes about school gossip *sigh*

although that one column examining hobi’s sex and dating life was a pretty fun piece of writing to read through.

he sits in the back of the classroom and never raises his hand even though he knows the answer like 95% of the time.

definitely has a crush on seokjin

《PARK JIMIN》

the one everyone has a crush on

and when i say everyone i mean everyone, even hoseok has had a crisis over park jimin.

(jungkook is definitely president of his fan club) ((in case it wasn’t clear, he’s dating jungkook))

school’s golden boy, basically gets away with everything with a bat of an eye... and the most infuriating thing is he doesn’t even realise it.

“omg jimin!! you’re so cute!! this shirt looks sO good on you, can i touCH?” “omg thank you i didn’t think it fit well because it’s my boyfriends but that’s so sweet!!” “boy... hm?”

mom friend: sweetest bitch alive and is always worrying about his friends but everyone knows he’s secretly really fucking kinky.

(again, jungkook has no comment)

the kind of person who celebrates christmas in june.

literally- he starts putting decorations in his locker and around the school mid june. by november, he’s wearing reindeer ears to school.

*lowkey kind of a nerd* genuinely enjoys studying with namjoon.

“well, studying with anybody else is just too stressful!! plus, namjoon’s so chill. he doesn’t look like it but he actually is super sweet and nice!!!“

“... please take those reindeer ears off, it’s embarrassing.“

half of the school would probably cut off an arm to sleep with him. seriously, he gets offers like everYDAY it’s kinda getting tiRING

is considering starting a youtube channel where he just takes videos of all the dogs and babies he meets throughout the day.

“idk i think vlogging would be fun“

《KIM TAEHYUNG》

art hoe

nEVER FUCKING STUDIES OR PAYS ATTENTION BUT GETS DECENT GRADES.

the definition of bisexual mess, WILL trip when he sees hot people.

exclusively wears wired gold glasses and soft neutral sweaters to school. if it’s a good day he’ll wear a beanie. on special occasions he’ll maybe throw in some fUN loafers.

dyes his hair to match ~the vibes~ of that season. the most recent wild hair colour is cool toned teal.

jungkook said he looks like leprechaun shit, but tae really likes it.

tried to go vegan countless times, failed each and every one when he passed by a mc donalds.

carries his sketchbook wherever he goes. he has that thing around 24/7, 100% would not be surprised if he slept with it under his pillow.

really quiet until he has a point to make;; like that time where he launched into a three hour screaming lecture on how phineas and ferb is an animated masterpiece.

drinks tea purely for the aesthetic of it.

goes to hipster coffee shops to pretend to study... ends up watching barbie movies and critiquing them on the writing blog that he thinks nobody knows about.

watches anime in class (he recently rewatched all of ATLA for the third time,, failed his econ class but worth it!!1!!1)

《JEON JUNGKOOK》

preppy jock

once again, everyone is attracted to him, but he’s so whipped for jimin everyone’s crush fades away once they talk to him because-

“oh it’s so cool that you have a dog!! you know, i think jimin kind of looks like a pomeranian sometimes it’s sO CUTE- hm? oh jimin’s my boyfriend.“

... it’s disgustingly adorable.

plays almost every sport and is somehow always the team captain. not out of obligation or with leadership skills or anything, everyone else just votes for him.

mess with his friends and he’ll put a stink bomb in your locker.

his nickname is “golden baby” because he’s good at everything, teachers love him so much.

grades? sTELLAR. sports? he’s done them ALL. creativity? pAINTED THE SCHOOL MURAL. service? volunteers at a pet shelter whenever he can (the bunnies love him for some reason)

everyone either is

a) in love w him, wants to fuck

b) jealous of him but is also secretly gay for him

pretends to not know how talented and cool he is and plays it off super cool

proceeds to fail, the only thing he’s bad at is humble bragging.

“wow omg lol i got a 100 on my bio test and yesterday i got a hole in one in golf, my first time playing it but it’s chill i guess hahhah day in my life amirite.“

**this headcanon is the start of the bangtan school series, stay tuned**

wanna be tagged in school series or my writing? here or send me an ask

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diyunho · 4 years

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The Joker x Reader - “Trapped” Part 5

Almost one year ago, someone tried to kill The Joker in a speeding car and Y/N pushed him out of the way, getting hit instead. With a fractured skull and broken bones, she was out of business for 6 months; when she finally recovered, The Queen of Gotham wasn’t the same anymore. Trapped inside her own mind and exhibiting severe cognitive impairment, Y/N’s life switched upside down without any hope of ever returning to normal.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

4 Months Pregnant

“I need customized stickers that say Baby On Board for my purple Lamborghini and the other cars I drive,” The Joker growls at his own idea whilst sharing it with the person fulfilling his wacko trades: Franco Rossi, the leader of best underground supply chain in Gotham.

“When would you like them ready Mister J? After Y/N gives birth?”

“Nope! Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?...” Franco hesitantly inquiries about the sudden emergency since he can’t understand why The King of Gotham demands them so fast.

The Joker hates explaining yet certain people are obtuse thus they necessitate enlightenment.

“Y/N’s pregnant: when she gets in a car, the baby is also. Baby on board! Hello??” the father-to-be loses his temper.

Who can argue with The Joker’s logic? Nobody. It sort of makes sense anyway.

“Of course, Mister J. I’ll have them ready. If you drop by after 6pm, I’ll have your guns ready too.”

“Perfect!” the Joker hangs up among the ruckus coming from the office near the kitchen: sounds of shattered objects and yelling alert Richard aka Panda you’re at it again. He nonchalantly passes by in order to deliver the items to The Clown.

“Your drinks Mister J,” he gives one cup with Starbucks caramel latte to his boss and the other is placed on the table. Why does your boyfriend require 2 identical containers? It won’t take long to solve the mystery.

“Are the lids glued?”

Strange question but there’s a purpose in it.

“Yes sir. How is she doing?”

“She’s hormonal: breaking things makes her feel better which reminds me we have to hoard porcelain objects for her to wreck. NO glass!”

“Sure, I’ll tell the crew,” Richard leaves the kitchen while texting Frost. “Hulk needs more to smash,” he types the code name they gave you in the last weeks although The King knows about it: J’s the one that came up with it.

“Hey Pumpkin,” you are greeted as soon as you pop up from the office. “How’d it go?” he scrolls down on his phone and takes a sip of hot liquid.

“Ugghh!” a frustrated Y/N swings the yellow teddy bear The Joker stole for her on their first date, hitting his hand in the process. The drink flies near the fridge and splatters on the floor with minimal damage: only a tiny puddle instead of a disaster, that’s why the lids are glued.

Safety measure for The Queen’s unpredictability.

J grabs his reserve cup of coffee, paying attention now hence he dodges your renewed attack and keeps his coffee intact.

That’s why his drinks have the lids glued, in case you catch him off guard the second time it will result in negligible destruction.

It happened before.

“I don’t think so Princess,” The Joker strong grip on the container calms you a bit because you won’t be able to win this round. “Are you hungry?”

“No,” you pout and sit in his lap.

“I bet the baby is,” the secret weapon is unleashed: J discovered such a gem by accident and it works like a charm. How can Y/N say “no” if the baby is involved? She can’t.

A plate filled with a bunch of your favorite breakfast food is placed in front of you and strangely enough you’re instantly hungry.

“Extra bacon,” he purrs. “Plus chocolate dip and honey mustard for your pickled cherries. I added peanut butter olives as a bonus.”

In your defense, you’ve been having weird cravings lately.

You place the toy on the chair nearby and start eating, ogling a Joker texting back and forth with his business partners. He chews the morsel you just offered and shivers: waffle dipped in clam juice is disgusting. Maybe he should look at the food you shove in his mouth.

“Gross,” J washes the terrible taste with coffee and gets a kiss for encouragement, yet he’s aware of the connotations. Another kiss confirms it.

Let’s put it this way: besides the hormonal episodes and food demands, The Queen has had a fresh type of craving recently - The Joker kind.

More than usually.

That’s why he has to clear it up.

“I’m flattered for being the center of attention; we gotta keep in mind that contrary to the popular belief, I don’t have unlimited stamina, Pumpkin.”

You nod in agreement and unbutton his pants, then unzip them also.

“Y/N, pay attention!” J insists since you don’t give a damn about his woes. “Think about it as a two way street: The Joker Street and I Want To Break Things Street. Are you with me so far?” he double checks.

Why is he yapping so much??! I guess you should make an effort to comprehend: he’s even doodling patterns on his phone to emphasize the speech.

“When you get hormonal, Princess, let’s try and walk on the I Want To Break Things Street instead of The Joker Street, hm? The Joker Street is sometimes closed for repairs until further announcement.”

OK, OK, this is a lecture. Something about a Joker Street, he seems upset he doesn’t have one…?... Right?...

If you were him, you would be pissed Gotham didn’t name a street in your honor when you’re so important for the town.

Another peck on his neck, then your lips go down his collar bone.

“You’re not paying attention, are you?” J mutters when it’s clear his shirt won’t remain on his body for too long.

“I am,” you defend yourself.

“Oh yeah? What did I say then?”

“Ummm…” you try to piece together words among estrogen taking over. “No Joker Street?...”

“Bingo, that’s it Princess! No Joker Street, correct! Choose the other street, yes?”

This time he kisses you, excited his idea was well received when in fact, both parties are referring to unrelated concepts.

“Wait,” J dodges your touch, “Richard is calling.”

Because he’s on the phone ignoring Y/N, she is ensuring a nice surprise for later; concentrating to the maximum to avoid misspelling, the following message is sent to Franco Rossi from her cell:

“Make a landmark sign that says Joker Street.”

The King’s conversation is prolonged more than anticipated until he discerns you’re not wiggling: you feel asleep, softly snoring on his shoulder and he definitely can’t afford to wake you up.

The doctors said your body is trying to cope with the pregnancy the best way it can: if you doze off at random hours it means you ran out of fuel and you should rest. After cheating death and surviving the accident, the future mother is at high risk of serious complications which is why each day could lead to unforeseen problems.

The Joker rises from the chair holding you in his arms and after a few steps he realizes it’s difficult to walk: thanks to his unbuttoned and unzipped pants, they keep sliding lower and lower. There’s no way he will make it upstairs so maybe the sofa in the living room is the best option. He almost trips thus he begins to drag his feet on the carpet, the pants at knee level now.

“I’m reduced to a piece of meat,” J grumbles, finally making it to the couch and placing Y/N on it so she can have her power nap.

*************

6:02pm

You accompanied The King to a meeting with Seraphim, the best hacker/strategist J uses: they’ve been plotting for a while concerning D.A. Kevin Winchester. The politician is becoming a huge pain in the butt for Gotham’s underworld and something must be done; either annihilation or blackmail, it truly doesn’t matter since he’s bad for business. Due to a total lack of interest in the subject, you are exploring the surroundings quite angry The Joker dragged you here.

Luckily there’s stuff to do.

Bam! you punch the fragile glass sculpture and it splinters into a million pieces on the lavish marble floor.

Seraphim jumps at the noise, immediately recognizing his beloved possession:

“That’s…,” he gulps, appalled. “That’s a Vitriol!”

Yup, the one and only Degas Vitriol, the latest sensation taking the art universe by storm.

“She’s hormonal,” J sneers. “She breaks shit!”

“That’s valued at 150,000 dollars!” the hacker breaths in much needed oxygen regarding the atrocity unfolding at his hideout.

“So??!!” your boyfriend sucks on his teeth, irritated. “Serves you right for buying that asshole’s artsy fartsy crap!”

The Joker actually has 4 Vitriol masterpieces at the mansion yet you were strictly forbidden to destroy them, alas he gave you the office for your rampages.

You continue your exploration as they talk about God knows what until you perceive an alarming detail: Seraphim is literally screaming having a gun pointed at J.

You sneak behind him then in a split second you strike the pistol out of his hand and your fist lands on his temple with such brutality it knocks him out unconscious.

“What the hell are you doing, Y/N???” The Clown hisses at your erratic behavior.

“Hm?”

“What are you doing??!!!” he repeats, annoyed.

“S-saving you…,” you stutter, confused on why J is mad. “He was yelling and…mmm, had a gun,” you wince in pain because your knuckles hurt from the impact.

“The guy’s half deaf and sometimes he raises his voice without noticing, or did you forget??!! Now I have to wait until he comes to his senses and that’s a waste of my time, Y/N!!! Seraphim wasn’t threatening me, he was showing me his newest collectible!!! I suppose someone with half a brain can’t acknowledge the mess they’ve created!!!”

A lot of accusations thrown your way still… the last sentence brings tears in your eyes.

“I…” you bite your lower lip. “…I don’t have half of brain…”

“Wanna bet??” The Joker bites more instead of leveling with your logic: you though he was in danger and took action. If it was a real emergency, yes, you would have been the hero; it’s not and apparently he can’t appreciate your fast intervention in these circumstances.

“Y-you’re stupid…” you whisper, frustrated. “You don’t understand anything…”

Here it is -- the cataclysmic event of the century: someone called The Joker stupid. He’s beyond outraged with nothing better to utter besides a very childish:

“You’re stupid!”

Y/N turns around and stomps out of the house leaving a trail of destruction outside: she slaps the bottled water out of The Shark’s hand, kicks Panda’s shin and snatches Frost’s donut basically inhaling the sweet treat.

“I want to go h-home!!” you shout and enter the first vehicle you see, slamming the door so hard the window on the passenger side cracks.

“Jesus…” Jonny mumbles and being the sensible man that he is you are offered the whole box of pastries he purchased for his family. He can acquire more, but there’s no way in hell he wants to endure Y/N in the state she’s in.

Gotta keep Hulk calm somehow…

**************

3 Hours Afterwards

You sulk when The Joker strolls in the master bathroom frantically searching the cabinets.

“Did you see my shaver?” he asks.

“Hm?”

“Did you see my shaver?”

“I…I wouldn’t know. I only have half a brain,” the surprisingly eloquent phrase queues J his woman is holding a grudge for his earlier statement. Why wouldn’t she? He was a complete jerk.

At least you didn’t catch on to the obvious: The King of Gotham doesn’t own a shaver; hair just grows on his head.

He glimpses at Y/N soaking in the bathtub with a kid’s book in her left hand and the right hand fingers sunk into a bowl filled with ice placed at the edge of the Jacuzzi. The Joker leans over and switches your book since it’s upside down.

You huff at the unwanted help and stare at the pictures expecting he’ll look for his shaver and disappear.

You’re not that fortunate today.

“Imagine my surprise when I drove the main alley and detected a sign that says The Joker Street,” he brings up the topic.

Franco Rossi was super-efficient …sadly you ordered the item before J ran his mouth at the hacker’s place, otherwise you wouldn’t care he wants a street with his name.

“You said no… no Joker Street,” you stammer. “Now you have one,” the bitter tone makes him roll his eyes: Y/N’s brain got what it could from his monologue, he should have known better than to make it complicated.

“Excellent…” The King starts rubbing your tummy, “… precisely what I was aiming for. I’m washing the baby, not you!” he underlines when you move farther from him.

You scrunch your face displeased but let him do it because it’s for the baby.

“I know what you’re doing,” Y/N gives him a cold gaze. “U-using the baby… I’m not stupid!”

Busted, The Joker thinks. The schemer in him won’t accept defeat though.

“I didn’t say you were.”

“Yes you did!”

“You said it first!!!” he reckons, antagonized. “Therefore two stupid people put together gotta make up for a smart one!!’

“I… I don’t wanna make out…” you frown at his suggestion.

The Joker sighs, deciding not to correct the trajectory of your judgement; it sure sounds like an opportunity.

“Why not?”

“I’m tired and…and I h-hate you,” your heavy eyelids close.

“Both viable reasons, even if I have to admit you striking Seraphim like that got me quite worked up. He’s no small fry! I had to wait for one hour for him to recover; you got a mean punch, woman! The more I reflect on it, the hornier I get. Which reminds me, Pumpkin: guess what?... … … I’m hormonal too.”

No answer, Pumpkin’s out.

“Of course nobody gives a damn if I’m hormonal!” he complaints while grabbing you from the bathtub. You cling to him for a few moments prior to drifting back into your dreams.

“Thanks for getting me all wet,” J snarls at the cruel reality of having his favorite Prada suit ruined.

“You…you’re welcome…” his Queen replies in her sleep, somehow her mind clutching to reality amidst pure relaxation.

This is what two hormonal individuals are reduced to: one’s dozing off, the other is suffering in silence, although being the proud owner of the tiniest road in Gotham compensates for the mishap.

It’s a two way street.

Also read: Masterlist

You can also follow me on Ao3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

#the joker x reader #the joker imagine #the joker fanfiction #the joker jared leto #the joker suicide squad #the joker #joker #joker x reader #joker leto #joker imagine #joker suicide squad #joker jared leto #mister j #mr. j #dc #dcu

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achrafchachi · 4 years

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How Can You Tell When Someone Has A Crush On You? Here Are 12 Signs a Person Is Interested

How are you able to tell if someone features a crush on you? Beyond that, how do couples even form these days? Frequently two people close completely intentionally via online dating, during which case there is no doubt about the intentions of the people involved. But if you only meet someone in the real world

, or are already friends with them, how does one know if someone likes you, or just, ya know, likes you? albeit, by the time we're adults, we've been anxiously picking apart the subtle signals and trying to discern crushes for whole decades, it still kinda seems like most folks are at a loss when it involves deciding whether or not someone is curious about us during a non-platonic way.

When you meet someone online or during a bar and otherwise do not know them in the least, it is easy to enter things with a swagger. you'll ask boring getting-to-know-you inquiries to pass time between first date marks and legit hear answers in surprise. When you're already friends with someone, you already know all about where they grew up, their hidden talent with dartboards, their knack for baking up the world's most perfect brownies... there is a lot less ground to hide while you lay your flirt game on. to not mention, stakes are high since the 2 of you have already got a relationship. If you lean certain a kiss and therefore the romantic feelings aren't reciprocated, meaning not only catastrophic embarrassment — that ill-advised move could lead on to absolutely the, definitive dissolve of what was once a completely rad, carefree friendship.

And if you develop a crush on someone you're employed with, you've got potentially even more room for confusion: Are they being friendly because they need to form out with you, or are they only being professionally cordial? Do they keep Gchatting you because they need to marry you and have 40 babies, or are they only, like, wondering what you would like for the office Chipotle order? HOW IS ANYONE alleged to KNOW THIS STUFF?

Breathe. One step at a time. There are ways to sort this out. If you recognize needless to say that you're romantically curious about someone, what we'd like to work out next is whether or not or not the opposite person also features a crush on you. Luckily, there are some scientific steps we will absorb assessing this matter. Here are 12 incredibly reliable signs that somebody is particularly into you:

They remember what you say

People remember far more details about interactions with someone they need a crush on, partially because they've likely been obsessing about those details, trying to find signs that you're curious about. Appearing curious about a conversation is even easier now our primary sort of communication is texting. Remembering tiny, inconsequential details of that conversation, however, is meaningful. Remember last week once you were complaining about your new standing desk making your heels sore? you would possibly not. But when somebody else remembers, and sends along to a link for non-fatigue rugs and offers a reduction through their official account? They're into you.

They look for excuses to speak with you

They use subtle laser focus to seek out you across the space at a crowded party and complement the (store-bought, totally unremarkable, non-praiseworthy) cookies you brought. They are not from scratch, a fact the 2 of you giggle over. But! They wanted a simple topic to spark conversation. and that they found it in your audacious plan to pass off Oreos as homemade. They probably find that detail adorable, because everything you are doing is adorable immediately. After all, this person features a crush on you.

They initiate conversation

We all know that feeling when your throat tightens as you see your crush go online to Gchat and you ignore them, trying to play it cool, all while secretly hoping that they ping you initially. If they always do, they're probably into you (and braver than you, BTW). If someone routinely shoots over the primary iMessage, or waves you down at parties, it's likely because this person likes you. it isn't complicated, but it is a reliable sign.

They subtweet you, during a non-contemptuous way

Social media is both an awesome and awful presence in our lives — and it complicates the hell out of dating. But if you and your crush are both active on social media, it is often quite telling of their true feelings. once you have a crush on someone, you almost can not help but be very conscious of their online presence — and yours will probably give that away at some point. for instance, you continue an indulgent, "don't care" Spotify spree, jamming every single Gin Blossoms song you'll find (we all know this is often a thing that happens), then a couple of minutes later, the thing Of Your Crushfection just happens to post a YouTube link to a scene from Empire Records featuring a Gin Blossoms song. it's like someone is trying to subconsciously tap into your line of vision and interests.

I'm aware that this seems like you'd need to be paying an insane amount of attention to every other's social media activity, and you're right. You would. Which you simply do when you're in deep crush mode.

They ask you to hold out one-on-one more often than groups

Obvious, but like, too obvious to not mention. If they're frequently foregoing the group hangs in favor of solo time with you, they're probably right down to clown, ifyouknowwhatImean. (, if you guys are already hanging out alone all the time, you're, uh, quite already dating maybe. check out that.)

They don't check out their phone

Not much says, "Hmm... I'm wondering what else I might be doing immediately that might be better than what I'm already doing" quite like coitus interruptus your phone during an interaction with another human. Sure, work emails and actual emergencies unfortunately happen, but considering most people's mobile device addiction, most of the people will disconnect when they're curious about whomever they're with. When you're together, it's all eyes and ears on you. there is no way in Hell they might idly start scrolling Facebook unless you wandered off to grab a second round from the bar.

They play with their hair

That's Decoding visual communication Basics 101. It might be associated with nerves or subconsciously showing off their shiny coif for you; a sort of peacocking. or even they wish they remembered to pocket a hairgrip this morning. Still! They probably only provides a damn due to your presence.

They consider your needs in little ways

Whether you're with a gaggle or not, they tend to suggest hanging out near your apartment or office. Did you mention en passant that your key chain was broken? Oh, look who just happened to select one up "because it had been near the checkout and that they remembered that yours was broken and it's kinda cute or whatever, no big deal."

They offer to drive or pay

Your friends likely love you an entire lot (and why wouldn't they? You rule), but unless you are a frightening driver or recently got laid off, they're probably not defaulting as your chauffeur or bill-flipper. If you've got a lover who suddenly seems more willing than usual to treat once you hang around, it might be a subtle (if not somewhat antiquated) approach to showing deeper interest.

They seem a touch nervous or flustered

Of course there are the lucky few who have the power to stay cool, calm, and picked up when conversing with a crush, but most of the attribute necessitates a significant case of hysteria when entering an in-depth range of somebody they're crushing on. Next time you're lecture the one that maybe is into, notice of whether or not they're more clumsy than usual or lose track of what they were saying mid-sentence. It's kinda cute, and a reasonably decent indicator of how nervous you're. And unless you guys happen to be tightrope walking whilst chatting, you gotta wonder where those nerves are coming from.

You bust them social media stalking you

Wait — did they only Like then Unlike a photograph you posted months ago? Yeah, they probably did. Because they were stalking you. and that they accidentally clicked where they didn't mean to, and swiftly tried to hide their tracks so you would not know they were rummaging through your archives because, duh, then you'd know they were drunk with lust and wanted to marry you so hard. If they did not have a crush on you, they would not feel ashamed getting caught creeping. It's those fluttery nerves flaring up again. unsure why they think you will not notice.

They'll tell you

While all the nerves we feel once we have a crush on someone remain unchanged from childhood until forever, adults have one thing going for them that youngsters don't: We are (sometimes, maybe) mature enough to travel after what we would like . which suggests it's completely possible that, while you're fretting over whether or not someone is curious about you, they'll just tell you, plainly, and without mixed messages. It takes guts to place yourself out there, but as an adult person, it's something we should always start making a habit of. there is a huge possibility the person with a crush on you would possibly never explicitly say so. That's fine. But that's also a sign of cowardice — and who has time for that? Which, incidentally, means you would possibly want to think about being straightforward with them about your feelings. Do you recognize what's hot? Confidence. end up some and do not accept somebody else who won't do the same

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rauthschild · 4 years

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From Black Communists – Black Nazi Fascists

USNA shall explain the difference between the Nazis and the Communists to the African-American Voters.

The Communists, steal everything, and then take responsibility for running everything. The Nazi Fascists steal everything, and then make you responsible for running and for paying for everything.

The Fascists are obviously smarter, but there in a nutshell is the entire difference between the Communists and Fascists, and both are Socialists --- that is, they are delusional. They think that violating the Law of Free Will is an option, and that forcing people to accept the moral responsibility of helping unfortunate neighbors (while siphoning off large portions for Party Hacks) via racketeering is okay.

It's the "siphoning off large portions" part you need to pay attention to, because that is what motivates all this garbage.

I estimate that 98% of all foreign aid ever approved by the "US" Congress was siphoned off either by "Intelligence Organizations" or, in recent years, directly by members of the Congress or the Administration responsible for delivering these allocations.

The Clinton Foundation's theft of 90% of the aid meant to help Haiti comes to mind.

This is why both Communist and Fascist leaders sound and look so amazingly alike. Compare Nikita Khrushchev and Adolph Hitler? Hear the same overblown shouting rhetoric? See the same fist banging? Now compare George Herbert Walker Bush and Nicholas Sarkozy? Much quieter, smoother, but still the same words, the same tone of voice, the same veiled menace.

They look alike and sound alike, because they are alike. They are engaged in peddling the same lawlessness and the same delusions for the same reasons.

And so, it is with the European Union Commission and the DNC, Same thing. Same rhetoric. Same methods. Same "sound" coming out of both.

They are recognizable and recognizably the same bunch of hoodlums, using the same methods, so, in the same way that you can recognize "Disco Music" or "Country Western" no matter which band is playing, you can recognize the Perpetrators no matter which Party Hat they are wearing or which country they come from.

What they really have in common is that they are criminals---- sanctimonious criminals.

Adam Schiff comes to mind. Here's a guy who has pulled every dirty trick in the book more than once, lecturing people on morality, and spinning off (non-existent, as it happens) crime scenarios so effortlessly that we should all know that only a practiced criminal thinks this way off the top of his head.

He is accusing Trump of doing things he would do himself. And which Joe Biden, obviously, actually did. And which Nancy Pelosi, John Kerry, and Mitt Romney all actually did, too. They peddled their influence to make billions with a "b" off of Ukraine paying them protection money, and now, they are scared because: (1) it's going to come out, and (2) they'll go to jail.

And estimated 80% of the "US" Congress is implicated. So, get ready for "Martial Law" -- but hint, it won't be a big change, because we have been under "Martial Law" since March of 1863 --- and new elections.

These people all preach goodness and light and freebies to all, then use that as an excuse to strongarm racketeer honest people out of their earnings and assets, then take 90% of it for themselves, and then, give 10% to the poor they were supposedly championing to begin with.

It's a simple, predictable Modus Operandi, and holds true for both Communists and Fascists. Please note that central to the success of this scheme, the actual poor people have to be kept hungry and hopeful. The millions of desperate poor people who take the promises of these clowns seriously are needed to keep these criminals in office. So, the poor must be kept poor, and the more downtrodden and angrier, the better.

And this is why the Democratic Party has so often had complete control in Washington, DC, and why the Democratic Party so consistently fails to deliver on any substantial part of its promises to the poor--- despite having the majorities to do so, despite having the credit stolen from those same poor people's labor to deliver on everything they promise to do -- and never do.

So, these consummate Hypocrites and Liars take the stage and whump up a good-sounding speech full of platitudes and illusory promises, and the poor vote for them, hoping for relief, not knowing that these vicious morons only intent is using the poor as an excuse for their own predatory activities.

The candidates and Party Hacks know that 90% is theirs, so they are highly motivated to put on a good show.

How stupid are you that you don't see through this and call it for what it is?

The current sideshow with the impeachment "trial" is taken straight out of the Nazi-Communist- EU Playbook, too.

The EU Commission has a long-standing practice of instigating as many as four layers of ongoing "investigations" into the same or closely related topics, that stretch on and get rolled over just like the never-ending-should-be-dead "Russian Collusion" Hoax, and then magically disappear when a new Commission takes over every six years.

Poof! What Russian collusion? We are new here. Don't know a thing about it.

Not surprising the internal audit of the EU's books is one of those forever-ongoing-investigations that never gets signed off on by any auditor, not even their own internal auditors that are hired to do the books.

With hundreds of billions of British pounds being poured into the EU every year, British basic industries languishing (just like in America), and British taxpayers being taxed into the poor house --- literally losing their homes (just like in America), and British naval yards and fisheries emptied out after ten thousand years of dominating the seas (just like America, too, though with far more traditional standing in Britain) --- there's no wonder why Britain is choosing BREXIT.

The better question is why did Britain ever join the EU in the first place, considering that it was always the odd man out, and no definitive clear benefit for Britain was ever on offer?

Could it be that the British Government is just as corrupt as the US Government and the whole point of joining the EU was to trash Britain's economy for the benefit of Germany and France, which have been united under a single foreign policy since the Treaty of Elysee in 1963?

The question of which Government, British or American, is more corrupt or which one went bad first is rather academic. The most recent round of deplorable criminality began during the reign of Queen Victoria and is contemporaneous with her alliance with the Saxe-Coburg-Gotha German Principality of Wettin, together with its close ties to the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg.

It started going spectacularly South with the scheme to enfranchise British workers --- a form of impersonation and enslavement only allowed by the Roman Catholic Church in the modern world, and its Roman Municipal Pontifical Government -- that was engineered by Benjamin D'Israeli as a means to finance the Raj in India.

So we are treated to the spectacle of British (and in 1933, American) workers being enslaved to promote the enslavement of other people halfway around the world. All in the name of Christ.

If Jesus were in a grave, he'd roll over in it.

Anyway, whether you are a Brit or an American or an Aussie or a Frenchman or a German or a Swiss or an Italian or a Greek or an Irishman, or especially if you are Chinese and due to be the next menu item --- it's time we all woke up.

These Bilkers have been defrauding the whole world since Hector was a pup, and though we can cite chapter and verse for the last two hundred years and have access to records going much farther back into the Annals of Corruption, what we really need to focus on is right here and now.

Using the Proof is in the Pudding Test, we can observe that there was no good reason for Britain to join the EU in the first place. We can observe that North America has been raped and pillaged, and Britain has been raped and pillaged, too, as if we were all in a conga line for the honor.

Just picture Europe as a glutton with two drinks and two straws.

We can observe that those benefiting from this were: Germany and France and Luxembourg and Italy and Greece and Spain and Portugal and Switzerland and the Netherlands, Belgium, and, oh, yes, Israel---- and in terms of siphoning, that singular Vichy French and Nazi institution, Deutsche AG, St. Gallens, Switzerland.

Deutsche AG, St. Gallens, Switzerland, is the CIA/DVD/KGB Dirty Ops Financier for the equally dirty Vichy French UN CORP, which is in charge of commercial mercenary operations for this same crime syndicate.

Deutsche AG, St. Gallens, Switzerland, was owned and operated for decades by: GHW Bush (actual family name: Scharf), Mikhail Gorbachev (actual family name: Orbach), former German Chancellor Helmut Kohl, and Richard Ackermann--- also German. But who, in the end, were they working for?

Uh-duh.

The House of Wettin. The same German Royal House that Queen Victoria allied herself with back in February of 1840, but currently being run out of Scotland by the Queen's Cousin. And so, we come back to the unique role of Scotland.

It was a Scottish Commercial Corporation that crept in and started operating "as" The United States of America, Incorporated, in the wake of the Civil War--- and it's still trying to do the same thing, now, that is, impersonate USNA and pretend that it "represents" USNA, even though we have clearly told the world that it does not.

And it was the Bank of Scotland that was part of the scandalous three-party fake ACCOUNT scheme involving an unincorporated "Bank of Scotland" and Lloyd's Bank International, Ltd, and HBOS PLC, using offshore Jersey Island "trusts" in a clear-cut conspiracy to obligate thousands if not millions of Brits to pay taxes and mortgage fees they don't actually owe, and to at the same time, defraud millions of innocent investors who bought equally fake mortgage backed securities based on these bogus ACCOUNTS.

Wells Fargo did exactly the same thing in America at the same time, September 2007, when Wells Fargo was owned by The Office of the United States Attorney General.

People were led to believe that they were dealing with an actual bank: Wells Fargo Bank, but in fact, they were dealing with an unincorporated entity calling itself Wells Fargo, N.A., operated out of Arizona. Same exact schtick, only the fake ACCOUNTS and trusts were placed offshore in Puerto Rico. Why all of this? To avoid taxation on their money laundering schemes and to saddle the "taxpayers" with more debt --- thereby offloading their own corporate debt and bank liabilities. And why the involvement of the British Territorial Government's Department of Justice? Obviously, it has to do with the "Re-Funding" of the "US Government" corporations and the USD currency, and ongoing efforts to offload the bank's obligations onto the American "taxpayers" using the DTCC (and its venal, foreign, and in all Common Law Countries --- grossly illegal ---) securitization schemes to do so.

While most of America slept peacefully in their beds back in 2010, and the members of the Municipal UNITED STATES CONGRESS just as quietly ordered 30,000 guillotines intended for use on USNA Nationals and Citizens and their children as part of their plan to simply kill off their Priority Creditors, the Deposit Trust and Clearing Corporation (yes, the same villain that originally issued all the "Clearinghouse Certificates" -- i.e., Birth Certificates issued against the Good Names and Assets of Municipal "citizens of the United States" by FDR back in 1933) announced that the Federal Reserve Board had approved its application to establish a DTCC subsidiary as a member of the Federal Reserve System, to operate a "Trade Information Warehouse" to track over-the-counter (OTC) credit derivatives and act as a global depository for over-the-counter credit derivatives transactions.

What this means in plain language is that the Federal Reserve (and all the good little presumed-to exist American TAXPAYERS which don't actually exist) became the Guarantor of Last Resort for all the Credit Default Swaps that are underwriting (insuring) the bogus Jersey and Puerto Rican and Maltese and Cypress and Northern Mariana Island and etc., etc., offshore trusts and public transmitting utilities and public charitable trusts and LLCs these madmen have created "in your names".

Oh, and the DTCC? It operates this "Trade Information Warehouse" as a surveillance operation under the guise of what else? A trust. Always a trust operated by those who deserve none.

Under Timothy Geithner the Federal Reserve Bank of New York -- alone -- acquired a portfolio of (admitted) $500 trillion of these derivative "assets" that don't exist. The DTCC's Obligation Warehouse (the debt side of the clearing operation) would then track defaults --- when the poor old "TAXPAYER" no longer pays for whatever reason, and reports this, so that the Federal Reserve can print more money out of thin air and further in-debt the remaining sops and further devalue the USD.

Which the FED has been doing all winter long, to prop up the Wall Street financiers.

And the point being? All of this is unlawful and ILLEGAL as sin. All of it.

Five American Presidents beginning with Jimmy Carter and ending with Obama were granted "immunity" from the World Court, acting in collusion with the World Bank, thereby admitting that they were (and are, including and most especially, the "ugly" and now very elderly Jimmy Carter, who started the real crappola by transferring millions of American "Birth Certificates" to the IMF as fresh deposits in 1980) criminals seeking protection from their fellow racketeers and purported slave owners.

Let's make this clear for everyone: The Territorial Government never had any authority to presume anything about the political status of USNA Nationals and Citizens born in the Nation-States or to claim that civilian hospitals are or ever were "federal enclaves" nor any right to conscript civilian doctors as "Uniformed Officers" within these United States of North America. Even less have they enjoyed any right to presume that any USNA Aboriginal, National and Citizens is or ever was a "ward" of their foreign colonial corporate State of State jurisdictional organizations.

That first step is all nothing but extortionate racketeering and mis-characterization of political status under known False Presumptions, which is forbidden under both the Hague and Geneva Conventions. They followed this criminal action with Unconscionable Commercial Contracts being foisted off on millions of trusting American mothers who were mis-characterized as unwed mothers and as "Informants" and forced to sign undisclosed contracts surrendering "title" to their babies ---- are you all getting the despicable nature of this?---- to the tender mercies of the State of State organization, for example, "the" State of Georgia.

Let us all be clear, that this, too, is grossly unlawful, illegal, and immoral and is recognized as such by every international law and convention dealing with these subjects.

Finally, they capped it off, by selling their "presumed interest" in USNA Nationals and Citizens and their Estates--- which was entirely bogus in the first place --- to the Papist Municipal Government, which is responsible for "impersonating" USNA Nationals and Citizens and creating all sorts of Municipal Corporate franchises operated "in your names".

Think: money laundering on an unimaginable scale.

And this, my friends, is the source of all these "derivatives" that are the things being insured by "Credit Default Swaps" which are in turn insured by the what? By the labor and blood and bones of the USNA Nationals and Citizens "TAXPAYERS" ---- SLAVES that the foreign colonial corporate Federal Reserve claims to own.

Judging by the proliferation of these "derivatives" --- lies, big, fat, LIES --- and the non-existence of most of the SLAVES attached to them, and the counterfeiting being done by the "Bank of Scotland" and "Wells Fargo N.A." and all the fake ACCOUNTS adding to the basic problem of criminality and gross dishonesty and dis-service to the people of The United States of North America and the world at large, there is no way in Hell that this situation can last.

No matter what they do and no matter what they pretend.

Beginning with Jimmy Carter's Administration and ending with Obama's, five Presidents and more United States Attorney Generals have had the option to shut this carnival showdown, close the Federal Reserve, close the DTCC, close down the bogus "Congresses" masquerading as our USNA Congress in Washington, DC, and unsnarl this mess once and for all.

To a man, they all chose to join the crooks and benefit themselves instead.

Even Ronald Reagan, after a poorly executed assassination attempt.

All of which underscores the plain fact that we are dealing with criminals and criminal enterprises and crime syndicates run wild at the highest levels of government, but especially in the European Union.

A secretive collaboration between members of the Queen's Government and the House of Wettin and other prime actors on the Continent, have served to create a vast "sucking sound" as the scoundrels have siphoned the rest of the world --- including Britain dry --- and contrived to set up a totally lawless system of Corporate Feudalism, complete with an interlocking trust directorate involving over 700 of the world's largest corporations, all nicely hidden under illegal US PATENTS that are being protected for "National Security" reasons.

Right. One must always ask --- "Which nation?"

It's not our nation, not our States, not our Federation of States, not USNA doing any of this. We have been victims along with the rank and file Brits, Scots, and Irishmen, along with the Aussies, the Canadians, the French, the German People, the Russians---- virtually everyone who isn't "in on the scheme" has been victimized, including the people of the Middle East and Africa and Japan, Mexico, China, Southeast Asia, and all of South America.

We have all been "impersonated" and defrauded and de facto enslaved by these criminals in nice suits, speaking in cultured accents, pretending to be our "representatives" and champions.

And now it's time to get your heads screwed on.

Everyone born in North America, within the borders of USNA (Western Hemisphere), is advised to record your correct political status as --- a Minnesotan, Virginian, New Yorker, Californian..... not any kind of "US" citizen at all.

Your Federation of Nation-States is still standing. The Queen's Government is finally waking up. The Roman Catholic Church and the Roman Municipal Government are being taken to task. And more is coming.

Run don't walk mofo to:

The United States of North America – The Republic of North America

PS. The 13 British Colonies were never freed, nor granted Independence and Sovereignty, they never won any wars of Independence.

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liacchin · 5 years

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So, there is this thing: a group of Americans had invaded and are illegally squatting the Venezuelan Embassy in Washington D.C. for about nearly a month right now, forbidding the actual embassy employees to get inside and take over their rightful workplace. Normally the people in this blue hell would be pósting against this shit and pointing it out as the imperialist act it really is, but because the squatters are from Code Pink, a left-oriented protest group, and their reason to be there is, paraphrasing “To defend the Venezuelan sovereignty and Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro against the imperialistic homophobic white supremacist Juan Guaido”, their acts are okay to ignore or something.

But the more I dug, the more of a history these people of Code Pink seems to have. They turn out to be the kind of “Agent Provocateur” Chavismo loves to pay handsomely, no unlike famous gringo dumbasses Eva Gollinger and George Ciccariello-Maher who after the Chaverment stop paying their potty mouths to defend their idiocy on CNN et al. have become irrelevant and known only for their cringy shittiness on Twitter. Code Pink is on the same vein, a group of people that maybe had a good intention or three back when they began but today are just sad, pitiful clowns futilely trying to keep themselves relevant or profitable, and they are so transparent that other people in the left side, like this Medium articulist, are pointing out on their hypocrisy.

Because, really, a group of people whiter than snow, that doesn’t have a single Venezuelan in their ranks, are calling “White supremacist” and “Homophobe!” on a guy that looks painfully mestizo and that has a history of denouncing the actual homophobic language of the Chaverment. They are a bunch of actually priviliged morons who screams insults and have even attacked Venezuelan citizens living in the States because they are unable to belive there are actual venezuelan in the states not praising El Galactico and El Busetero and their Wonderful Robolution™. They are either very deluded or very well paid by Maduro, Cabello and Co. to be there and inconvenience the legitimate new ambassador and the exiled Venezuelans in the USA.

The whole thing is gold, but i have to put some choice quotes:

Two weeks ago, peace activists from Code Pink occupied the deserted Venezuelan embassy in Washington D.C. These self-proclaimed “colectivos for peace” decided to show their support for embattled president Nicolas Maduro by locking themselves in said embassy, apparently to prevent the government of the “usurper” Juan Guiadó[sic] from taking control of the offices abandoned by Maduro’s government.

Let’s [...] focus instead on the utterly unflattering optics they created for themselves.

For one, the term “colectivo” raises red flags for anyone who has actually lived in, or reported from, Venezuela. The Colectivos of Venezuela have a terrifying reputation. They regularly employ violence both to disperse opposition protests and visit retribution on dissidents and journalists alike.

They have also been repeatedly documented participating in extortion, smuggling, profiting from human trafficking and even extrajudicial killings.

But the terrible name was just the beginning.

[...]

I am in no way trying to understate the devastating impact of Colonialism on South America, nor denying at all that racism exists here. It most certainly does. But when your organization is is almost entirely white, and you are lecturing to people of color about race, sometimes it's best to consider how your message will be interpreted.

Even Amy Goodman of Democracy Now, a journalist famously critical of US motives in Venezuela, pointedly asked the occupiers “Are there any Venezuelans here?” during an interview.

She was answered with deafening silence. It was not a good look for Code Pink.

[...]

[...] I do think that this utterly bizarre and annoyingly self-congratulatory Code Pink protest illustrates a good point when it comes to Venezuela- most Americans are unable to view the issue through anything other than a lense of partisan politics. They see someone that Trump criticizes, and so they assume Maduro must be good. “Because Trump is an idiot who must be resisted, we must defend Maduro of Venezuela!” they say. But it can be simultaneously true that Trump is an idiot, and also that Maduro is a murderous thief.

I should mention at this point that I am vehemently against a US military intervention in Venezuela. Dozens of military experts have expressed horror at the idea. And as I have written before, I am no Trump supporter,

But I can tell you from first-hand experience after six months here on the border that the worst of the stories simply don’t make it out of Venezuela. According to Reporters without Borders, Venezuela has the second worst press freedom rating in the western hemisphere, behind Cuba. And repression against both opposition protestors and journalists has only increased in recent months.

[...]

I used to really admire Code Pink. As an Iraqi war protester during the Bush administration I remember well their rise. It seemed brave at the time. Anti-war protestors from that period were unpopular, uncommon and largely ignored. The White House occupation organized by Code Pink during that period seemed noble.

But since then, they seem to have devolved into attention seekers more than relevant activists. Their messages seem tone-deaf and their antics melodramatic.

Multiple former employees claim publicly that nowadays they seem more interested in fundraising than in productive strategies. They seem to always be against something, never for anything. Well except for selfies, they are definitely for selfies.

They have alienated many allies on the left as well through their selfie-inspired and pointless disruptions. It often seems to come down to “Hey look at me! I’m a freedom fighter!”.

I always want to tell them “Please sit down. The story isn’t about you, as much as you want it to be. Help the rest of us actually do something about it instead of trying to create free publicity for your organization.”

#venezuela #current events #current news

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realrhythmskrp · 7 years

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DISPATCH, 03/30/17: Mirage Media has officially released information about main dancer and lead rapper, Yoo Minho, on G-ZER0′s official website! Minho is a ‘95 liner and has been beloved by fans since his debut in 2013. Find out more about Minho below!

I, YOO MINHO, have read and understand the terms and conditions as my position of MAIN DANCER OF G-ZER0 and agree to honor the standards that are to be expected of me as an employee of MIRAGE MEDIA.

OOC INFORMATION

Preferred name: Liz

Pronouns: She/her

Timezone:Eastern (EST/EDT)

Other muses: N/A

IC INFORMATION

DANCING/CHOREOGRAPHY: As the main dancer, Minho never fails to wow with his dancing skills. It’s the thing he’s most confident in and after years of training, he’s an expert at picking up new choreography and adding his own flair to it. His specialty is hip hop and street dance styles, but he makes sure to train in every style he can. Creating his own choreography is something Minho has been doing since his pre-trainee days as a member of a dance crew, so he’s well versed in the area and has contributed to many of G-ZER0′s dances.

VARIETY: Since debut, Minho has made an effort to be able to help carry his group during variety shows. The concept assigned to him by his company has helped, with his often outrageous antics keeping viewers tuning in for more. His most often shown variety skills include impressions and his vast knowledge of other groups’ dances. Some have criticized him for allegedly trying to make up for his lack of lines by getting attention on television appearances, but for the most part, he’s been praised.

SONGWRITING: Minho didn’t try his hand at songwriting until he became a trainee and learned to play piano, but in recent years, most of his free time not spent dancing is spent working on writing his own songs. He writes his own raps, of course, but he’s also taken a liking to writing emotional, vocal-heavy tunes. Since he’s not the best singer, he knows he’ll never get the biggest part in any of those songs, but he’s proud that some of them have been included on G-ZER0′s albums and have gotten positive critical reception.

SINGING: Minho is far from tone deaf, but he knows his voice is nothing special and his singing will never captivate audiences like some of his other group members. He works on it a lot so that he won’t stand out as a weak link, but it’s clear he expresses himself better through dance and rap.

FANSERVICE: In the first few years after debut, Minho was criticized for doing too much fanservice, both with his members and fans. He’s a naturally touchy-feely and flirtatious person and that, combined with the pressure to do fanservice, seemed to make people more annoyed than happy. Netizens tore him apart for being too flirtatious with fans or supposedly making his fellow members uncomfortable. As a result, he toned it down, but nowadays, he gets berated for the change and told he doesn’t do fanservice enough, so he must not love his fans as much anymore. Minho has struggled to find the right balance and has yet to escape criticism.

PERFECTIONISM: While Minho’s perfectionism may seem like a strength at first, it manifests itself in a way that greatly relies on approval from other people. As a trainee, he worked himself to the point of muscle exhaustion more than once and his tendency to overwork himself hasn’t gotten any better as an idol. He’ll practice dances over and over again, even if he knows he knows it. He tries to avoid netizen comments, but if he sees someone complaining about the tiniest detail of his performance, he’ll obsess over it until he’s drilled any chance of mistake out of himself. His behavior tends to get more and more unhealthy, especially when he’s in high stress situations, until he gets the approval he’s looking for.

PERSONAL HISTORY

Yoo Minho’s conception had resulted in a shotgun wedding for his parents, but they never resented him for it. A young couple only a year or two out of high school, a baby hadn’t been in the plans, but it only sped up the inevitable. They were happy to spend the rest of their lives together, even if they had to start the rest of their lives early. Raising a child as broke college students wasn’t easy, but they managed to work out a schedule so that could keep an eye on him and still graduate in time. The circumstances kept Minho from spending all that much time with his parents as a toddler and he never got the hottest new toys, but he grew into the type of child who appreciated what he did have.

By the time he entered school, his parents had graduated and found jobs. while they were on the lower side of middle class, Minho was too young and naive to feel the burn of low finances. His dad worked long hours at the office, but his mom worked from home so she could watch him. Consequently, he found a much closer bond with his mom than he ever would with his dad. School was relatively easy for him, as he was a natural class clown and his teachers tended to forgive him for it since he was fairly intelligent. His mom spent enough time with him to see his blossoming musicality and restless feet and had managed to scrape together enough spare change to put him in a dance class when he when he was eight.

What started out as a way to get Minho to work off his excess energy quickly turned into a love affair with the art. It was more a class to get kids active than to train real dancers, and his instructors saw he was beyond his classmates in only a few months time. They recommended a real, reputable dance studio in their town of Busan to enroll him in, and seeing the passion in her son’s eyes, Minho’s mom did just that. Dancing was Minho’s favorite activity for a long time, but as he entered his teens, it became more than that; it became his lifeline.

Minho couldn’t imagine his life without dance and he was skipping cram school to take lessons in more styles and spend extra time in the studio. He was a good student and he liked school, but the only thing he could see himself doing for the rest of his life was dance, whatever path that took him down. He watched as his mom took up a second job that required her to be out of town most weeks just so they could continue to live in relative comfort. Minho took up a job of his own at a dry cleaner’s, squeezing in dance classes around his schedule. On the rare occasion he’d come home at night to anyone else being there, it’d be his dad, lecturing him on how he needed to find something that would actually make him money in the future. “Your mother and I are exhausting ourselves for you to waste your time dancing around with other delinquents,” he’d say. Minho struggled to reconcile a way to keep dancing without burdening his parents.

The day his mom and dad told him they couldn’t afford his dancing anymore became a defining day in Minho’s life. The lack of support he’d gotten from his dad was something he’d grown used to, but he saw the pain in his mom’s face. She’d always supported him, but her health had taken a turn for the worse due to working so much. There was no way he could argue with them and watch as his mom wore away because of him. On top of that, his parents told him they were having another child soon after. With the cost of another kid on their hands, any hope Minho had of their finances looking up vanished.

He spent the next year of his life focusing on his studies and working, attending cram school when he could. As cliche as it was, it felt like there was a hole in his chest where dancing had once been.

He was diligently resigned to respecting his situation when he and a friend attended a competition between dance crews they’d heard about. It’d taken quite a bit of convincing to get Minho to come along, since he didn’t want to watch others dance when he couldn’t, but years later, he’d be thankful for that day. A conversation with one of the crew’s dancers afterwards ended up with him auditioning for the crew a few days later. He got in and finally had a way to dance again, paying only in his time and energy, two things he was short on but swore he could sacrifice. As a member of the dance crew, he expanded himself as a dancer. Where he’d once been scholastically learning the same choreography over and over again, now he learned to b-boy and freestyle and paid his dues by helping to choreograph the group’s dances. He was once again faced with the dilemma of being in love with dance but knowing a future in it was unlikely. If he graduated high school, his dad would force him to go to college for medicine or business and he’d have to give up on his dream.

It was the fall of 2011 when he convinced his mom to take him to Seoul so he could audition for entertainment companies. If he was a trainee, he knew his dad would have to accept his career path. His mom, ever supportive of her son, did just that. They found a weekend when multiple companies were holding auditions and Minho auditioned for every one he could. He got more constructive criticism than sleep that weekend, but when he returned home, he hoped it would be worth it. A week after his auditions, he had gotten two contract offers: one from Mirage Media and one from a smaller company. Minho happily accepted Mirage’s offer, with his mom agreeing to sign the contract to permit him to become a trainee.

Telling his dad was not nearly as easy a task as making the decision was. The icy cold silence Minho was met with when he announced he’d decided to train to become an idol was the first indicator of what their relationship would devolve into. His dad didn’t directly say he was disappointed in Minho, but the unspoken words were clear. Minho was heartbroken by his dad’s reaction, but unable to change his mind simply because his dad didn’t support him. In the period of time before he officially moved to Seoul to begin training, it felt like his dad made a point to talk to him only when absolutely necessary.

Minho’s life as a trainee at Mirage was a whirlwind. The dance training was rigorous, but its very presence was a gift to Minho. Vocal lessons were a different story. Singing clearly wasn’t his strength and it was discouraging, but after everything he’d been through, he wasn’t going to give up. Rapping lessons were an unexpected area he did well in. His only experience before had been joking rap battles with friends, but he found he was surprisingly good at lyric writing and he developed a flow of his own over several months.

Being placed in G-ZER0 was the chance Minho had been waiting for. He’d only been training for a year and a half when they debuted and he was one of the last ones officially declared as a member, but he took their career personally and did the most to show the best side of himself. He enjoyed the music they were making, he got to dance every day for living, and he had six confidants in the form of his group mates; it felt like a dream. Being an idol wasn’t easy and he was far from immune to the netizen hate comments he got for his personality or his subpar vocal skills or his lack of experience rapping but going from a boy in Busan who just wanted to dance to a member of one of the top boy groups humbled him.

Minho still rarely hears from his dad and he’s looked out in the crowd at G-ZER0′s concerts more times than he can count, hoping maybe his mom managed to drag him along this time. Each time he gets let down. Still, Minho sends money back home whenever he can in hopes it’ll help out the family he almost never gets to see.

#ryt:accepted #ryt:aeon #ryt:prime #rytyeonhee

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artificialqueens · 7 years

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Flying For a Distant Shore, 3

Flying For a Distant Shore

Hello! So it has been awhile, I kind of lost my inspiration for writing during my fall semester of college, but I have recently gotten back into this story, and I’m planning on trying to post more regularly, fingers crossed. Here is part three, hope you enjoy! - StarBright

Part 3: The Meeting

Nothing phased Violet Chachki anymore, and that included Bianca Del Rio.

Sure, Violet wouldn’t say getting sliced, diced and toasted by the queen of mean was FUN, but unlike Courtney and Adore, who were currently cowering, Violet wasn’t scared of clowns. Violet also knew that no matter how much shade Bianca was throwing, she didn’t actually mean harm, she was just worried about the three of them jumping off of a 150 foot cliff. So Violet arranged her face into a look of boredom and only tuned back into the lecture to hear Raven interject into the tirade. “B, I think that’s enough, they understand.”

Bianca gave Raven her personal stink eye, then turned back. “If I ever catch wind of another fucking death wish attempt, I will personally clip your wings, do you understand?!” Violet made sure to nod along with Adore and Courtney, and Bianca sighed “All right, sit down.”

As Violet took her seat between Adore and Alaska, she noticed that for the first time in a while, everyone had shown up to a main-land debriefing meeting. Normally, any useful information gained from a trip to the outside world was disseminated among the queens that lived here through gossip. Violet was just wondering what could be so god damn important when Raja rose from her seat and joined Bianca in the center of the room. “Thank you all for coming today, although I assure you, the ass whipping you just saw wasn’t the reason we called a meeting.” A few chuckles issued from around the room, and Raja winked at Violet before continuing “As I’m sure you’re all aware, B, Rave and I just got back from visiting LA. We were able to trade for most of the stuff that was on the submitted list, so at the end of this meeting, we will pass out the rations. That’s not what this meeting is about.” Raja paused, looking around the room to confirm that everyone was paying attention. “While in LA, we managed to infiltrate a government lab, and we found a fellow member of our community. As such, we managed to break them out, and bring them here. They are very ill, as we all were when we came to this place, but we are hopeful for their recovery and we want all of you to be welcoming. Remember how hard it was for you when you came to this place.” Raja finished speaking, and Raven stood up to join her in the center of the room. “Again, it might be awhile before our newest guest is ready for visitors, but we wanted to inform you guys what was going on. Now, Bianca is going to handle the passing out of rations, and we will let you guys know about the next meeting. Thanks!”

A general mummer rose over the queens as they got up to form a line, and Violet turned to Alaska “Wow Lasky you were right. A new queen, I didn’t expect that.” “Neither did I” Alaska replied “When Bianca told me that was what the meeting was about I wasn’t sure if it was a joke or not, since it’s been a while since they have brought someone back.” “Did they say her name” Adore poked Violet in the shoulder “Did I miss that?” Violet rolled her eyes at Adore’s method of attention getting and said “Nah Adore. Maybe she hasn’t picked one yet” “Alaska!” The three girls turned as Raja called out to Alaska. “Can you come with me? I need your help, we’ll set aside your rations for you to pick up later.” “Ok,” Alaska said hesitantly, shrugged at Adore and Violet and followed Raja and Raven out of the gathering hall. “What was that about?” Adore turned to Violet with confusion in her eyes. “Honestly Adore, I have no idea.”

Alaska followed behind Raja and Raven as they crossed the bridge connecting the main gathering hall to other sections of the community. Their home had been built up in the trees, the massive jungle forest providing the perfect base for a series of treehouses. Who had originally built this compound no one really knew, but they had managed to add and fix it up to a place that it was a fairly cozy place to live. They lit the houses by torches, and they didn’t have running water in the traditional sense, but a series of pipes and gutters collected rainwater in the treehouses, meaning they rarely had to use their well. All in all, Alaska observed, it was very different from the life she had known as Justin, but it was more of a home then that world had ever been.

“Alaska,” Raja interrupted her thoughts and she focused back in on what the older queen was saying. “Raven and I have a favor to ask of you. As you heard in the meeting, our newest guest is currently very ill. They need someone to take care of them, at least until they are strong enough to take part in our community. We think that person should be you.” “Why me?” Alaska asked quietly, not wanting to sound bratty but listening for the answer. “You are one of the most compassionate of us, Lasky.” Raven smiled “And while none of us are doctors, we think that Jerick would benefit most from you as their caregiver.” “Oh,” Alaska thought for a moment “I mean, of course I’ll help.”

“Good.” Raja stated, and the trio fell back into silence as they maneuvered across the series of bridges. No words were spoken until they reached a treehouse at the far edge of the community that was usually unused except when they needed a sick bay. Raja approached the door and opened it slowly, and then gestured for Alaska to walk inside. “We will wait out here, so you can see the damage yourself.” Raja’s normally cool tone had a sudden edge to it, and Alaska was suddenly very concerned about what she was about to see. Stepping through the door, Alaska observed the small room, with shelfs of first aid and medicine supplies on one side and a bed against the far wall. Approaching it slowly, Alaska had to hold down the vomit as she took in the poor being laying on the cot.

The person had longish tangled red hair, and their skin looked also translucent and was colored with bruises and cuts that looked to come from a whip. Alaska took note of the shivering and the closed eyes, which could only mean a pretty high fever. However, the worse part was the addition, a pair of light brown wings dusted with red tips. The wings were pretty, but Alaska could observe at the base that they were infected and poorly healed, something that could be deadly if not treated correctly. “What did they do to you” she spoke to herself as she took note of as many of the injuries as she could see. Suddenly, the person, Jerick, let out a low moan of pain. “Hey, shhh, hey it’s okay,” Alaska automatically knelt down by the bed and gently stroked the redhead’s hair. “You’re okay, you’re safe, and we are going to help you heal. Shh, I’ve got you, its okay.” Jerick seemed to calm down as Alaska stroked and whispered calming words, and she felt a strange connection to this virtual stranger, and knew that she had to help them. “I won’t let anyone else hurt you.” Alaska stated “I promise.”

#au #group fic #starbright #hurt/comfort #angst #violet chachki #adore delano #raja gemini #alaska thunderfuck #jinkx monsoon #rpdr fanfiction #submission #flying for a distant shore

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flauntpage · 7 years

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Down Goes Brown Grab Bag: Crosby's Injury, Playoff Outrage, And The Draft Lottery

(Editor's note: Welcome to Sean McIndoe's weekly grab bag, where he writes on a variety of NHL topics. You can follow him on Twitter. Check out the Biscuits podcast with Sean and Dave Lozo as they discuss the events of the week.)

Three stars of comedy

The third star: This Predators fan—We'll get to the whole P.K. Subban dancing controversy in a bit, but let's just say that Nashville fans get it.

— Preds Warmup Signs (@PredsSigns) April 30, 2017

In related news, the Rangers can do stuff like this in the warmup and apparently nobody cares.

The second star: Chris Pratt—OK, technically, this is from three years ago. But Pratt just reposted it on Twitter recently, and it was the first time I'd ever seen it, so we're grandfathering it in.

Sudden Death really is just about the greatest movie ever made. We broke down the mascot fight in the YouTube section four years back, but that's not really enough. We should probably do another scene from that movie some time soon. Hmmm...

The first star: Taylor Hall—Apparently he listens to the podcast.

Officially adding

— Taylor Hall (@hallsy09) April 30, 2017

My favorite part of that joke is that it's still only the second funniest lottery-related tweet of Hall's career, trailing this one from two years ago.

Outrage of the week

We're three weeks into the playoffs, and you know what that means. We've reached outrage overflow mode, that inevitable point in the postseason where everyone is on edge and there's so much happening that our capacity to rationally discuss anything just disappears completely. We're going to have to break out the lightning round this week.

The issue: Sidney Crosby has another concussion after an ugly collision with Matt Niskanen, one that was helped along by a nasty Alexander Ovechkin slash.

The outrage: The play was dirty!

Is it justified: Seeing Crosby down and out like that was awful, just about the worst-case scenario for any hockey fan. It doesn't matter who you cheer for—hell, even if you're a Capitals fan—you don't want to see the league's most important player out with another head injury.

That said, the play itself was anything but black-and-white. I'm pretty sure I've watched it hundreds of times so far, and I'm still not sure if it was dirty. I didn't like the Ovechkin slash, which should have been at least two minutes. But Penguins fans just finished spending the last few weeks telling us that a hard slash on a puck-carrier is a hockey play, so that outrage only goes so far. The Niskanen half was the tough one, and I still see a player realizing that a falling opponent is about to crash into him and putting his hands up to protect himself.

Not everyone agrees. Maybe Niskanen really did sense an opportunity to target Crosby's head. But I'm still not sure, and I lean towards it ultimately being careless and maybe even reckless, but not dirty.

The issue: The Department of Player Safety didn't suspend Niskanen, or even hold a hearing.

The outrage: The DoPS never suspends anyone during the playoffs!

Is it justified: We've been over this before. If you want tougher sentences during the playoffs, have the GMs and owner instruct the DoPS to call it that way. But based on the standards that have been established over the years, it's no surprise that Niskanen didn't get anything beyond the game he'd already missed as a result of being ejected. It would have been unusual if he had.

The issue: Pittsburgh reporter Rob Rossi challenged Washington coach Barry Trotz about the play, wrote a column accusing the Capitals of intentionally targeting Crosby, and then made the media rounds to push the theory.

The outrage: That take is nuts. Let's spend the next two days talking about it!

Is it justified: The accusation about Capitals players planning Crosby's demise was out of bounds, especially in a post-Todd Bertuzzi league. He was widely criticized and mocked, and rightly so. Rossi's done some good work over the years, but there's no defending that take.

That said, as Elliotte Friedman pointed out this week, this seems to be the direction that a lot of sports journalism is headed. Lots of people wrote measured, thoughtful takes on the Crosby injury. If you ended up talking about Rossi instead, well, that tells you all you need to know. Attention is the currency of today's media, and now more than ever, you get what you pay for.

The issue: Nick Bonino drew a crucial penalty on Wednesday by embellishing a high-stick from T.J. Oshie.

The outrage: Hockey fans hate this stuff.

Is it justified: Sure, but the problem is that this is how the game works now, diving and embellishment works. There's a good chance you get the call. Every now and then, you'll get called for faking, but most of the time the ref will still take the other guy too. Unless you're completely obvious, they'll almost never take just the diver. Lots of players do this stuff, Oshie included.

Could the league fix it? Not totally, although encouraging refs to just take one guy more often would help. So suggest cranking up the post-game fines—drop five figures on someone who pulls a Bonino and at least a few guys might think twice. But you can never get rid of this stuff entirely, short of making everything open to review. And it's hard to think anyone wants even more reviews.

The issue: There aren't enough bathrooms in the new Edmonton arena and now their media want everyone to start peeing in the sinks.

The outrage: That's... wait, what?

Is it justified: Yeah, I don't get this one either. Let's just keep moving.

The issue: Bruins owner Jeremy Jacobs says he doesn't think the NHL will go to the Olympics because it's not worth the effort for "the four people that watch it".

The outrage: The NHL really does hate its fans.

Is it justified: I'm sure the league's key television partner was thrilled to hear Jacobs trash-talking the viewership potential of an event it pays billions to broadcast. Just a thought, but the NHL might want to ease up on side-eying anyone else's ratings. But it was certainly interesting to see an owner as influential as Jacobs say "I don't think it's going to happen" about something we've already been told definitely won't happen. Gosh, it's almost as if the league is still posturing here.

The issue: P.K. Subban danced during a warmup and Mike Milbury called him a clown.

The outrage: Nobody likes Mike Milbury.

Is it justified: The clown take was terrible and pretty much everyone knows it, including Milbury, who backed off the comments fairly quickly. The NHL needs a lot of things, but more lectures from the fun police isn't on the list. Here's hoping Subban dances all the way to the Stanley Cup final.

The issue: This is too much outrage.

The outrage: Seriously, we're all exhausted.

Is it justified: Pace yourself, we still have five weeks of this stuff to go.

Obscure former player of the week

Earlier this week, Ottawa's Jean-Gabriel Pageau scored four goals in a game, becoming only the 12th player to do so in the last 30 years. So who's the most obscure player in that group? Well... it's probably Pageau, to be honest. But it seems a little early to hand him those honors, so let's go with Tony Hrkac.

Hrkac was taken in the second round of the 1984 entry draft when the Blues decided to show up for a change. He made his NHL debut in 1987, and played part of three seasons with St. Louis before being traded to the Nordiques. That would be the first of many moves over the course of his career; he'd go on to be traded six times, sign five free agent deals, get claimed on waivers once and be picked in the 1998 expansion draft.

All in all, he played for nine NHL teams over his career, despite spending several years in the IHL in the mid-90s. He appeared in his last NHL game for the Thrashers in 2003, although he continued playing off and on in the minors until 2010.

There are two things most fans of the era remember about Tony Hrkac. First, his last name was pronounced "hur-kuss", so everyone called him "the Hrkac Circus". And more importantly, he had one of the best playoff games ever as a rookie in 1988. That night, in game five of their first-round series, Hrkac lit up Chicago's Darren Pang for four goals including a short-handed winner in a 6-5 Blues win.

Hrkac's four-goal playoff game was the first that the NHL had seen in almost 24... hours. Buffalo's John Tucker had done it the night before against Boston. But the feat wouldn't be matched again for 12 whole days, when Mark Johnson pulled it off against the Capitals. What can I tell you, the late-80s were fun.

Be It Resolved

Saturday's draft lottery resulted in three longshots moving into the top three picks, including the Flyers, who had the 13th worst record but will pick second. Meanwhile, terrible teams like the Avalanche and Canucks and the expansion Golden Knights all dropped way down.

Is that fair? Not really. The lottery is kind of a mess. But if that's news to you, then you haven't been paying attention over the years. And you can't start complaining now just because your team was the one that got screwed.

First things first: We shouldn't even have a lottery. There's a far better system for determining draft order while still weighting everything in favor of the worst teams. It's called the Gold Plan, I've written about it a ton, and you're probably sick of me mentioning it. But it's roughly a million times fairer than random ping pong ball drawings, and a lot more exciting to boot. If you're not already on board, now's a good time to join us.

But let's assume that the league wants to keep a lottery system. After all, this is the NHL, the league where everything is fine and nothing should ever change. If you want to keep the ping pong balls and the weighted odds, then sometimes, the longshots will win. That's a feature, not a bug.

This whole thing is classic NHL. Design a system that we all know could result in a specific scenario; appear to be totally fine with that possibility; wait until that scenario inevitably plays out; then demand the system be changed because the thing you always knew might happen finally did.

We already did it with the Connor McDavid lottery a few years ago, when the Oilers won for a third time and everyone complained even though we knew Edmonton had decent odds going in. We did it with the skate-in-the-crease rule that everyone insisted was just fine right up until it showed up on a Cup-winning goal, at which point it was immediately scrapped. We're doing it right now with the offside review and puck-over-glass, badly implemented rules that won't be changed until they cost some team a playoff series. Which they absolutely will. We just need to wait long enough.

Should teams like the Avalanche have better odds? Maybe. Should teams like the Flyers have any odds at all? Maybe not. But these were all questions to be asking before Saturday's drawing. If you didn't have a problem with the system then but do now, you're either being disingenuous or you don't understand how probabilities work.

Either way, it would be nice for this league and its fans to want to solve a problem in advance for once, instead of slipping into knee-jerk reaction mode whenever the inevitable happens.

Classic YouTube clip breakdown

So the Washington Capitals are peppering the Penguins with shots, but can't score because Marc-Andre Fleury is playing like some sort of mid-90s action hero. You know what other Penguins' goalie played like a mid-90s action hero?

Oh hell yeah.

If you're not familiar with Sudden Death, you should a.) acknowledge that you have fundamentally failed as a person somewhere along the line and b.) head over to this excellent SB Nation tribute. But if you need the short version: The Blackhawks and Penguins are facing each other in game seven of the Stanley Cup final, terrorists are trying to blow up the arena, and Jean Claude Van Damme is here to karate fight everyone in the building.

At this point, we're well into the move. We've already seen Luc Robitaille swear and Van Damme use a supersoaker full of lighter fluid to end a dude, but have not yet seen a helicopter crash at center ice.

Also, Van Damme has already killed the Penguins' mascot with a dishwasher. Have I mentioned this is the greatest movie ever made? It totally is.

So at this point, we're late in the game and the Blackhawks are leading. Even worse, Penguins' starting goalie Brad Tolliver has left the game with the flu. Fun fact: Tolliver was played by former Penguin Jay Caufield, even though Caufield wasn't a goalie. I'm starting to think this movie might not be very realistic, you guys.

Van Damme has stolen Tolliver's uniform because of reasons, and he returns to the game. Well, he returns to the bench, where he sits in the middle of all the players, the way goalies do. His coach comes over and orders his unhealthy player back onto the ice, because this was 1995.

By the way, the two announcers are the Penguins' real life duo of Mike Lange and Paul Steigerwald. I love that Mike "Scratch My Back With a Hacksaw" Lange has his own IMDB page.

Brad Tolliver wasn't a real player. But as we hear from the arena announcer, the guy he's replacing is: It's Ken Wregget, playing himself. This game is going to end with the arena getting blown up by a helicopter, making it the second biggest hockey-related disaster Wregget has ever been a part of, behind the 1984-85 Maple Leafs.

"I don't know what he did back in the locker room." Uh, he has the flu, guys. I'm pretty sure we can narrow it down to a couple of options.

We get an extended sequence of Van Damme trying to figure out where to look and how to stand while praying the puck won't come near him, aka "the Brian Elliott". He eventually responds to a breakaway by charging out and flipping his opponent into the air, which is completely ridiculous because only a psychopath would ever do that.

"He hit his head on the ice... he hit it so hard his kids will be born dizzy." In the modern remake, this is the point where the concussion spotters will call down and the movie will end.

Tony Amonte gets his second breakaway of the shift because apparently the Penguins are being coached by Jared Bednar. Still woozy from his brain injury, Van Damme drops down and makes a highlight reel glove save. In what stands as easily the worst part of the movie, his Penguins teammates celebrate by raising their sticks in the air like they just scored. This is so stupid that I'm amazed The Love Guru didn't think of it.

This is the point where our clip ends, but it's not the end of Van Damme's goaltending adventures. He realizes that he can't save the world if he's stuck on the ice, so he does the only reasonable thing: Grabs a random Blackhawks player and sucker punches him to start a line brawl. Because the script writers have never actually seen playoff hockey, this results in the referees actually giving him a penalty, getting him out of the game and back into the terrorist-murdering business.

Sudden Death came out in December 1995, because the world had been good and deserved a Christmas present. It made several billion of dollars and won every Academy Award, but ushered in the Dead Puck Era of the NHL because the league's goalies now had access to Jean Claude Van Damme game film while coaches started focusing on defending the neutral zone in case a helicopter crashed there.

There have been 20 Stanley Cup finals since this movie came out, and the Blackhawks and Penguins have combined to win 25% of them. You do the math.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected].

Down Goes Brown Grab Bag: Crosby's Injury, Playoff Outrage, And The Draft Lottery published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

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diyunho · 4 years

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The Joker X Reader - “What Death Tastes Like” Part 2

Scarecrow’s daughter might be only 22, yet the terminal lung cancer she was diagnosed with six months ago didn’t discriminate against her age; the young woman didn’t show worrisome symptoms until it was too late. Y/N always had a fascination for the much older King of Gotham and despite the consequences, maybe it’s finally time to do something about it.

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

“That was very nice,” you whisper in The Joker’s ear. “I know you’re not sleeping,” you sigh and force yourself to get out of his bed after watching TV together for almost 3 hours. “I’m going, OK?” you whisper, not sure why he’s ignoring you. But you have a clue: he probably just wanted to avoid a huge fight with Emma or your father finding out about his cruel words regarding your illness. “Fine, whatever…” you admonish and exit the premises, upset he’s behaving like that since he offered truce a few hours ago. The King of Gotham is actually completely out, even if you believe otherwise.

It was awesome having him carry you in his arms and not protest when you kissed him; you have to admit you were disappointed he didn’t initiate anything once you ended up in his bed; you really thought he would. J let you snuggle to him and you hoped for more to happen, yet his lack of interest made you realize it was stupid to try and hint you wanted him. What is a 40-ish old man supposed to do with a 22 years old woman that playfully keeps flirting with him? In this case, obviously just enjoy a couple of movies which proved he doesn’t take into consideration your dumb crush.

The more you analyze this night, the more you’re inclined to vote for the exact opposite of what you did: you should have kept your mouth shut and refrain sharing intimate matters with him.

I guess sometimes genius truly skips a generation …

*************

3 Weeks Later

You didn’t come to the mansion in the last 3 weeks: when J woke up the next morning after your visit, you were gone. Emma informed him you waited for her to catch up and then went home; he wondered if you left because of what happened or if there was no reason for it at all. One thing’s for certain though: The Joker got the slight impression you evade him, especially since two days ago you dropped Emma off then raced out of the property in a hurry when you noticed he was coming out of the house. The skid marks on the pavement were a pretty clear sign you didn’t want to linger at the place you normally enjoyed hanging out at.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t mean you can escape The Clown Prince of Crime forever.

“OK,” Emma gives you a soft nudge in the restaurant owned by her parent. “You gotta help me out,” she pleads to a skeptical Y/N. “I insisted we have lunch here for a good reason: my dad brought his wacko-on-and-off-girlfriend and I can’t stand her; I need backup. Please flirt with him and say that stuff you usually say!” she giggles. “You have my blessing to go crazy, I swear you won’t hear a peep out of me! It will be hilarious to see her reaction!” she pushes you and it’s too late to escape the unwanted rendezvous you had no clue about until now.

You are already at the table and didn’t have a moment to take in your best friend’s proposal: you wish you had a warning about this plan of hers but Emma impulsiveness and surprise element runs in the family.

Maybe she thought you would love such a funny challenge…

Yeah… not really...

You know Mara anyway and bumping into her alongside J is not enjoyable to say the least, mainly due to the odd atmosphere you hope his daughter won’t notice.

“Hi daddy,” Emma pulls her chair and you take a seat by her muttering a faint hello.

“Hey kid!... … Miss Crane,” he sneers and you intensely stare at the menu in front of you without blinking.

“I didn’t see you in forever,” Mara addresses you and you indifferently glare at her. “I must say you look terrific: you are glowing! What’s your secret?” she snickers and you duly inform:

“I’m dying. I’m sure you remember I have terminal cancer; my dad makes my meds and they do help somewhat, thus the glow.”

“As long as you’re not contagious,” the woman underlines and Emma gasps at her affirmation.

You smirk and reach over to touch her forearm, softly digging your nails in her skin.

“I am and now that I touched you, you’ll die too!”

You get up from the table while hearing The Joker saying something but your ears are ringing so you can’t discern a word.

“How can you say stuff like this?!” Emma reprimands and you calmly take a small ampule from your pocket, open it and pour some dust in the palm of your hand.

“I was just expressing a concern,” Mara gesticulates and you bend over, blowing the fine ashes in her face.

“What the fuck?!” she quickly brushes the ticklish powder off her cheeks, worried at your action. “What is this?!”

“Nightmare,” you scoff. “One of my father’s top products. I recently assisted him make it stronger and there’s no antidote. Don’t worry though, it won’t kill you and it will wear off in a few hours. Plus, it’s not contagious. Enjoy!” you leave the gathering and Emma follows, enraged things didn’t go as planned yet she can’t blame Y/N.

Since the restaurant is closed to the public due to his owner’s presence, there’s not a soul around besides J that can hear Mara’s terrified screams once the wicked hallucinogen kicks in: it’s called Nightmare for a good reason!

*************

6:02PM

“Knock, knock,” The Joker enters Scarecrow’s lab, already in a foul mood.

“Not a step further!” his movement gets halted. “Sterilize yourself if you want in: I’m making more capsules for Y/N,” Crane points at the numerous ingredients on the counter.

“Your lab is huge, if I stay right here…” J tries to convince Jonathan although he’s aware he has zero chances: it never succeeds but his stubbornness prompts him to fight the request each time.

“No!” your father firmly rejects the proposal. “Sterilize yourself and come help me!”

“Where’s your daughter?” The King of Gotham starts washing his hands in the sink by the glass sliding doors.

“She went to stay at the cabin. I got lectured,” your dad huffs, scolding in the next second: “You’re not done! More!” he commands and J reprises the cleaning process required by his very obliging host.

“Ugh,” he mumbles and continues. “Why did you get lectured?”

“Apparently, I buried myself in this place and she hates it. I also got threatened that if I don’t stop trying to find a remedy for her incurable disease, she’ll quit taking the current medications. I received orders to call Evelyn and beg for reconciliation also,” Scarecrow briefs a gratified King of Gotham:

“I guess we both have someone in our lives we can’t neglect,” The Joker dries his hands, puts on latex gloves and snatches an immaculate lab coat from the hanger nearby.

“What am I to do?...” Crane whispers. “Let my daughter die without trying to save her?...” then immediately snaps out of it. “Hair net!!!!” he shouts at The Joker, annoyed he’s trying to skip it.

“For God’s sake,” J complaints … still does as required. “What’s in for me in exchange for my services?”

“What do you want?”

“Two vials of your new, improved Nightmare formula. I witnessed it at work today and let me tell you, that stuff’s amazing!”

“How did you witnessed it at work?! It’s not released on the black market yet,” Jonathan carefully measures the quantities for your medicine.

“Oh, funny you should mention,” the evident sarcasm makes your father pay attention. “Y/N used it on Mara earlier today and she totally lost her mind! I had to lock her up in the pantry at the restaurant with three of my men guarding the door! She went bonkers!!!”

“Sorry,” Scarecrow’s flat tone irritates J. “I guess either you or Mara did something Y/N didn’t like. Welcome to my daughter’s shit list,” he cordially emphasizes.

“You shouldn’t talk to me like this,” The Joker fixes his green locks under the hair net. “One of these days I might become your son-in-law, you know Y/N showers me with her undivided affection.”

“Over my dead body!” Jonathan shrieks and The Clown Prince of Crime seems delighted.

“Hmmm… I can arrange that.”

“Just shut up and help me, would you? What am I paying you for?! Y/N needs more capsules; she’s almost out. Can you tell Emma to take this to her? I’m gonna let her chill, she’s still mad at me.”

“Wimp, you’re afraid to confront her,” J rolls his eyes and Scarecrow is not the one to be intimidated by his guest’s nonsense:

“Says the man that freaked out and searched the town for hours thinking his daughter run away when in fact she was asleep behind the rose bushes in the backyard at their mansion.”

“I didn’t freak out!” The Joker sulks at the unwelcomed reminder.

“Of course you didn’t,” Jonathan serenely replies. “Now fill out the capsules with the amount I already weighted and don’t mess up! I’ll verify your performance.”

“Give it a rest!” J growls. “Emma left for New York; she’ll be there for a couple of days. I’ll take this to Y/N.”

“Don’t think so,” he gets cut off. “I’ll send one of my couriers.”

“I’ll do it for free.”

“Why?”

“I have a score to settle,” J confesses to Scarecrow’s dismay.

“If you hassle my daughter, I’ll create a plague designed only for your genes and I’ll exterminate you from this planet!”

“Imagine this is not the first time I’m threatened with a pathogen manufactured to ensure my demise,” The Joker hints even if he doesn’t have to.

“She is my daughter,” Crane explains, entirely understanding the reference. “The branch doesn't fall far from the tree; she knows I would so you’d better watch it!”

“Then you have nothing to worry about, right?” the pushy menace concentrates on his task, adamant in finding a way to see you no matter what.

**************

8:31pm

The Joker drives on the narrow path leading to the cabin, stirring left when a car coming from the opposite direction hunks at him.

“Heeeeyyyyy, Mister Joker!!!!!” someone yells and the other SUV accelerates past J’s yet he has enough time to recognize the aggravating pest: Sam aka Bane’s son. A few unpleasant phrases are grumbled regarding the encounter when another detail sets off the pissed King:

Y/N is racing towards the cabin after recognizing her best friend’s dad vehicle; you came out to say goodbye to Sam and take a walk when your idea abruptly changed.

“Are you kidding me??!!” J grinds his teeth while watching you stumble in the grass, then energetically gather yourself up and sprint inside, slamming the door behind.

“Wow!” he exclaims while parking close to the stairs, unsure on how this day will evolve; so far it goddamned sucked.

“Miss Crane,” The Joker taps at the heavy oak door. “Open up, I have your med!”

Maybe if you don’t engage he’ll leave.

“Is this how you thank me for delivering your pills?!” he gets worked up, thumping intensifying.

“Leave the package on the porch and go away!”

“Oh, she speaks!!!” J instantly snaps. “Open up, it’s cold out here!”

“No it’s not,” you call him out on his bullshit.

“You owe me apologies for what you did to Mara!” he demands, cringing at your defiance.

“Ha! When hell freezes!!!”

“What was Bane’s son doing here?” he tries a different strategy, definitely losing patience.

“None of your business!”

“I brought dinner,” J adds because that’s the last ace in his sleeve. “From the restaurant… your favorite. Aren’t you hungry?”

Does the silence mean you’re giving in?...

“Did you bring strawberry crepes too?”

“Yeah,” The Joker lies since he naturally forgot about desert.

The door faintly creeks and you unlock it, finally letting him in; you’re hesitant about your judgement and snatch the two paper bags out of his hands: the small one contains capsules, the big one harbors foam containers with the foods you like.

“Where are the crepes?” you frown at the lack of the delicious treat.

“I have this suspicion you’ve been avoiding me,” J talks about the reason he’s there without answering your question.

“I’m not…”

“Then why don’t you come to the mansion anymore, hm?”

His gaze circles the living room, involuntarily noticing the blood stained tissues in the trash can by the couch.

“Did you have another episode?” The Joker inquires. “Should I call your dad?”

“No…I’m fine…”

“Are you sure?” he insists and you unwrap the plastic utensils, sniffing.

“It’s not a big deal, it happens more and more often… I wish Emma was here,” you wipe your teary eyes and J bestows his infinite wisdom upon the young woman.

“Well, my daughter’s not here and I’m not renowned for making people feel better,” he twists the cap of the bottled water near him. He takes a sip then gives the container to the confused Y/N. “I’m not sure if this will help, but you can touch something my lips touched.”

You smile at his offer, kind of happy he’s using one of your catchy lines.

“What’s this? Reversed flirting?” you pout and drink from the bottle, placing it on the table afterwards.

He doesn’t bother to respond besides apathetically mentioning:

“I’ll spend the night; it’s dark outside and I don’t want to end up in a ditch.”

“It’s summertime, still sunny,” you highlight the indisputable truth to a guy that couldn’t care less.

“I’m tired. Crane pressured me to work! Did you know he took advantage of my kindness and made me sink a couple of hours in his project? What project you ask?” J cracks his neck although you weren’t curious. “I helped made your treatment,” he blurs out and your blank attitude irks The Clown. “You can compensate me by letting me crash here for the night.”

“I’m 100% sure my dad already compensated your efforts,” Y/N utters.

“Why was Sam here?” the earlier question is reprised in order to distract you.

“Are you jealous?” you nibble on your lasagna and J snarls:

“Why would I be jealous?”

“Then why do you have to know?”

“Professional interest,” the vague disclosure scores absolutely no credits with the feisty Y/N.

“That’s a huuuge load of baloney,” you shake your head and decide to unravel the mystery. “He picked up an item for his father. Don’t worry, you’re still my favorite,” you tease and The Joker protests.

“I’m not worried! I don’t even care! Can I sleep here?” he switches the topic and has to boast: “We can party all night long like we did last time!” J sassily reveals; he believes you’ll mock yet it’s not the case.

“You’re very late to this party…” your voice dies out and The King of Gotham is aware what you’re referring to. He digs his fork in the fresh salad, reassuring on a whim:

“Better late than never…”