#chew every part of me

[mooninkling]

I am a piece of cake

Until I eat myself and explode with a shake

And I become a cooker, baking

Other kids to become the flavour of devils that to the moon are laughing.

-Fragment from Gotta sort you out

#writing poetry #thoughts spilled on paper #thoughts #poetry #my poetry #writing is my therapy #writing will be my death #they are going to eat me whole #chew every part of me #but still #i would at one point come back #and laugh at the moon #as if there's something left to laugh at

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

Alhaitham and Kaveh - not 'friends' but 'roommates'

(This is a reworked excerpt taken from my Haikaveh essay! If you're interested you can check it out here or as a pdf <3)

Due to Chinese game restrictions, explicit mentions of homosexuality or overt queer references have resulted in less implicit ways of conveying queer relationships or characters. Therefore, same-sex characters in romantic relationships are assigned the platonic status of “best friend” or “friends”.

As such, these restrictions can be used as guidelines in establishing queercoding within Genshin Impact. It is of note, however, that this rule does not mean that all characters who are canonically “friends” are in a romantic same-sex relationship. Differentiating between same-sex couples and platonic friends (who have all been assigned the label ‘friends’) can be done by identifying particular care undertaken to ‘style’ characters. This is done so by queercoding, as in, using taboos linked to queerness; references which point to romantic connotation; or omitting certain details which casts obscurity on the nature of their ‘friendship’.

Alhaitham and Kaveh’s relationship has been styled in this way, as although various titles have been given to their relationship status, there has been no definitive term supplied overall. Alhaitham tells the Traveller that the two are “roommates”, with Kaveh confirming this, although stating that they “used to be friend(s), but not anymore”.

Within Kaveh’s Character Stories, their history as “best friends” is a painful one of separation, which can be seen as akin to a break-up, and despite their lack of status as ‘friends’, the two share an intimate knowledge of the other that no other character is privy too.

Condensing their relationship down to ‘roommates’ is an oversimplification that the narrative challenges the player to question.

This is achieved through their rapport with each other, seen within Alhaitham purposefully goading Kaveh, something which he cannot be seen to do persistently with any other character, as well as Kaveh’s unique reactions to Alhaitham, which present a side to him unlike which can be observed in his interactions with others. Additionally, the two mention the other without them present, as Alhaitham mentions Kaveh unprompted twice within the Archon Quest and once within his Story Quest, and Kaveh is prone to discussing Alhaitham with those who are aware of them living together, as Collei observes: “Seems like you always include him in the conversation, even when he isn’t here…”

When the two confirm themselves to be roommates, this is immediately followed by Paimon asking Kaveh if they are friends, to which Kaveh does not give a definitive answer too. When Paimon asks Alhaitham the same question in the Archon Quest, Alhaitham evades the question, and turns it back on Paimon, who notes that “[she] doesn’t know. That’s why [she’s] asking,” to which Alhaitham then describes Kaveh as his roommate. Although, this still is an evasion of Paimon’s initial question, Alhaitham neither denies nor confirms their friendship status. The status of their relationship is constantly called into question, for the characters they interact with, and for the player.

This casts an ambiguity over their relationship which aligns with Chinese gaming regulations in regard to same-sex couples, which in turn, points to a certain ‘styling’ of relationship which differs from general platonic friendships within the game. Where both platonic friendships and same-sex relationships can only be openly dubbed as ‘friendship’, signifiers must be present in order to differentiate these platonic friendships from the non-platonic.

Obscurity of relationship status can be used to do so – where characters are not explicitly “friends”, but are evidently tied to each other in some way, more than their assigned platonic status. Here, Kaveh and Alhaitham are irrevocably connected beyond their “roommate” status, and although they are not currently described as “friends”, they used to be, “best friends” according to Kaveh’s Character Stories, which creates a gap for interpretation.

The player is encouraged to interpret the reason for the two’s parting of ways, along with the reason for their current rapport. Although Kaveh asserts that there is a mutual “disdain” between the two, Kaveh observably talks about Alhaitham enough for Tighnari to assert: “No dinner with Kaveh is complete without a few words about Alhaitham." Rather than out of disdain, it can be surmised that Kaveh talks about Alhaitham due to the fact that he cares, as he states that the reason he has so many troubles regarding his work is because he cares so much about it.

When paralleled with his troubles with Alhaitham, being that Alhaitham finds a way to “infuriate” him every time they talk, it can be inferred that Kaveh’s approach to dealing with his work is the same as to how he deals with Alhaitham.

If Kaveh’s assertation that the “disdain” between the two of them was true, then there is no basis for him to talk about Alhaitham as much as he does. This is due to his attitude in caring about something results in him verbally expounding the problem, the same behaviour he exhibits when dealing with Alhaitham. By his own reasoning, if Kaveh did not care about Alhaitham, he would not be so “infuriate[d]” by his words.

In turn, the player can see Alhaitham’s care of Kaveh manifest in his concern for Kaveh’s wellbeing within A Parade of Providence. In this sense, the rapport the two have currently which the narrative prompts the player to question can be explained. The two hold a mutual concern and care for the other, but due to elements in their past, they cannot address this, and thus it goes unspoken. The same can be said about the explicit status of their relationship, as no canon label applied to the two can truly explain their relationship, with ‘roommates’ being a clear oversimplification of their bond, and always followed up with the question of their friendship.

Alhaitham and Kaveh’s status as ‘friends’ is disrupted, not only due to the canon ending of their friendship in the past, but also in the current narrative of the game due to this refused label. Alhaitham and Kaveh do not adhere to the status of ‘friends’, either evading it (Alhaitham) or outright denying it (Kaveh), however, their bond remains central to each of their respective narratives, so much so that their differing viewpoints are integral to the other.

Alhaitham and Kaveh have been designed so that they are integral to each other, and the obscurity of their relationship acts as a signifier that their bond is not of a typical platonic friendship.

In Chinese gaming restrictions regulating platonic bonds and romantic bonds between same-sex characters as strictly ‘friendship’, Genshin Impact can be seen to subvert this in order to queercode. By creating an obscure bond between a same-sex relationship, a bond which the game constantly calls into question, a silence has been generated as to what the status of the relationship really is. The depth to Alhaitham and Kaveh’s relationship and the unspoken nature of it alludes to the queer taboo, in that its inability to be definitively labelled generates an otherness than that of an easily understood platonic bond.

#haikaveh #kavetham #alhaitham #kaveh #haikaveh meta #genshin meta #how have i just properly clocked that the library scene and kaveh saying the thing about caring are in the SAME hangout ending #i feel like im chewing on sawdust #i am wringing out every instance of heavy traces of homosexuality in the writing of these two #they make me crazy insane #they are deliberately avoiding labels #theyre not friends or roommates theyre a secret third thing #homosexual - but you didnt hear this from me!! #also im gonna be posting about a parade of providence at some point #because it owns my being #its one of my fav parts from the essay hehehe

[miusato]

I FINALLY SCANNED MY SHINJIHAM PAINTINGS WOOHOO 🎉🎉🎉

#now allow me to disappear for a week to focus on my work and get my ass chewed in 5 days #also i did some editing here of course lol some parts bother me and also i have 3 days left before my csp license expire #so i am allowed to spam every correction layers i can get my hands on #anyway shinjiham nation hiiiii how is everyone doing???? #asukart #watercolor #persona 3 #persona 3 reload #persona 3 portable #persona 3 femc #shinjiro aragaki #kotone shiomi #minako arisato #shinjiham #foolmoon

[geneticcatalyst]

don't think I will ever actually be over the introduction scene in qi ye that essentially just goes omg best friend yeah he did get me killed in the previous life but he was cool about it hi best friend! and that first read is as normal as that scene ever gets because when you get more context it only gets wilder in a way that makes me completely insane.

i just never fucking get over whatever it is that makes a guy who's been wholly devoted to helian yi's cause, following every order, doing anything necessary, up to and including bloody betrayal of people he knows personally (see Jiangs, although I dont know if that's consistent in first life) without a fucking second thought, decide that THIS is where hes drawing a line in the sand? on another level it doesn't even change the outcome of the plot if he goes along with it and doesn't warn jby that hes being set up to be executed- jby has already decided to accept that death- it doesn't matter.

except to show one thing and i'll suggest a second thing also: 1. there is a really, really powerful bond there. like be real who the fuck are you going to risk your own life for to go behind the emperor's back on the slim chance he might survive? what makes this the one person you won't stab in the back? hello? which leads directly to 2. as ive just said. that's wild. like that is not normal behavior. which kind of leads to a thesis that the author goes on to articulate for Another Full Novel, specifically that zzs is a sort of normal looking guy right up until he does something completely fucking unhinged out of nowhere. and that just. continues to happen.

#sigh. every day of my life i chew the curtains over them #qi ye #let me be clear i Do actually have a theory of sorts about why they are Like That #but that will be a different post #technically this is already part 2 of this thought line #qy meta

[magnus-rhymes-with-swagness]

yeah i can’t stop thinking about the parallels between hearth and alex’s backstories… they were both born into a life that, under slightly different circumstances, would have offered them a lot of privilege. their families had a ton of money and a good social status, and hearth and alex were, in many ways, set up for success.

but there was a catalyst for each of them, something that ended up setting them up for failure instead - the way hearth’s father reacted to him being deaf and alex’s father reacted to her being trans. both of them, despite being born into a life that would have offered them plenty, ended up ostracized and shunned from their families. constantly ridiculed and criticized and blamed for something they couldn’t control and didn’t ask for, but in a better world should have been able to celebrate. hearth should have been able to celebrate his deafness and alex should have been able to celebrate her transness, but they were both robbed of that. they were robbed of their childhoods, growing up in toxic environments and spending their formative years being abused, all for some of the only people in their lives who understood them or cared about them to die.

and yet, each of them were able to cut ties and make their own way in the world. they both managed to build a better life from the ground up, bringing together a solid group of friends to spend the rest of their life (or afterlife) with. they were both taught to hate themselves, spent every day of their childhoods being mistreated by their fathers and told they were worthless, and yet in the end they both manage to undo all that and learn how to love themselves. they learn how to celebrate the very same parts of themselves that their fathers tried to stamp out, choosing instead to surround themselves by people who care about them.

additionally, they both embody the paradox of wanting to distance themselves from their parentage and yet simultaneously reclaim it. alex wants nothing to do with any of her parents, yet deliberately reclaims loki’s urnes snake symbol. hearth has no desire to be associated with his father or former life, but reclaims the rune of inheritance.

but in reclaiming their past, neither of them return to it. alex doesn't try to go back to her house after being kicked out. hearth accepts the othala rune in the end, but after his father is killed, never returns to alfheim again. they take what's theirs, leave, and never look back. so, both of their journeys ultimately involve leaving their former lives behind - giving up privilege, wealth, social status, and the acceptance of others in order to be themselves. becoming the people they want to be, rather than the people society and their fathers wanted them to be.

#anyway if you need me i'll be in the next room chewing on plywood #i never stop thinking about this #resilience and radical self-love and whatnot. identity. embracing the parts of yourself you were taught to repress etc etc #i really wish it had been explored more in canon #i have so many thoughts about hearth and othala and his father's heart & alex and her tattoo #i plan to write a separate meta about that once i'm finished rereading the books #my words #mcga #magnus chase and the gods of asgard #hearthstone #alex fierro #meta #also othala autocorrected to ithaca lmao #every time i think i'm done with this i end up adding more so i'm going to post it now lol

[zappedbyzabka]

Billy in the S5 bloopers

#Blurry but idc look #It’s not a want anymore. it’s a need: Chewing on him chewing on him cheeing on him #mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy? #johnny lawrence #william zabka #Him in the last gif looking like he’s having a hard time with math or something (lines in this case) #He’s so adorable #and I just KNOW Daniel thinks Johnny’s naivity about technolgy and all the confused faces he makes are cute too #and hot. He’s definitely had Johnny sit in his lap in the computer chair #while he tried to teach him just the very basics of at least not clicking on every ad you see #but purposely making it sound complicated just to hear and see all that sweet confusion. the way Johnny’s eyebrows furrow #lips parted ​if he’s not chewing on them #getting them all red and extra kissable. #all ‘I don’t understand’ and ‘Can you explain it to me again?’ #until Daniel’s dick is rock hard. Johnny isn’t stupid. #All those young guys he has to ask for help too lol (excluding Miguel of.)

[crybaby-bkg]

booie🥺i'm sorry if this is random and u don't have time for it, no worries!!! but y'know what i'm always thinking abt???

your fic, "in every lifetime" GOD, IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES EVER, but i've always been on the edge of my seat when it comes to villain bakugo showing up at the end. did you have any thoughts on what his life is like with you in another reality? I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED IF YOU HAVE BABIES WITH HIM TOO??? and if it's hard bc he's a villain

(i've always imagined that seeing you in another reality makes villain bakugo wanna get better for u and his daughter in his own reality, bUT THAT'S JUST ME!!) what are your thoughts??? only if you want to explore, ofc!! 🩵🩵🩵

i love u berry much in general!

CAITIEEEE MY BELOVED :D 💜💜

omg thank you so much!!!!! I always beat myself up over that fic bc I was literally like 85% done with it when I thought about villain bakugou and was like. ITS TOO LATE TO TURN BACK NOW cause that would’ve added another 3-5k words aksjdkd

but I’ve never thought about his life with you much???? but I do believe that once he comes in and gets acclimated with the others, he becomes the odd one out, instead of your Katsuki even tho you guys don’t even have kids yet!!!!

but it’s bc villain bkg does have a daughter (just one which already earns him a few scoffs) but he doesn’t….have her as much as the others do. his entire life isn’t revolved around her, he doesn’t take her hunting or show her how the world works. he doesn’t smother you in affection back home (mainly bc you won’t let him anymore) and he just becomes so isolated from the others in that sense.

but when he goes back home to his own universe, he’s a little different. he was hesitant to see his daughter often, didn’t want her to look at him in disgust and horror when he picks her up with his bionic arm, even tho the cold metal is all she’s ever known from him. he’s scared that she’ll be scared of him, that she’ll recognize his destruction on the news when she looks at him for too long. that she’ll run away in terror if he were to smile at her.

he comes over to your house the night he returns. asks if he can see her, even though its past midnight, but you let him in anyway. watch how he stands at her doorway, the soft kiss he presses to her forehead. he sits on your couch in silence for the longest moment before he speaks, his voice quiet, whispering that he wants to be there. that he wants to do better and be better. that he can’t be both a shit person and a shit father.

you give him the benefit of the doubt, but you do start to see improvements in him. he drops off her favorite snacks more, and takes her to secluded parks where he won’t be recognized. he buys her too much ice cream, but it’s only a weak apology for not being there for her beforehand. he doesn’t cause as much destruction in the city anymore, too preoccupied with showing up to parent teacher conferences, ready to cuss out her teacher for giving his baby a 92 instead of the 100 she deserved.

I think bc of his competitive nature, and especially the way the other Bakugou’s damn near cussed him out for being an absent parent and how he must be a defective version of them because none of them are this shitty—that he changes, just a little. it’s not drastic and it’s not overnight, but he realizes that he has to be better. if not for himself, than for his daughter and maybe—maybe a little bit for you too.

#pls. get out of my house. #UR MAKING ME THINK THOTS NOW!!!! #AND NOW I WANNA MAKE ANOTHER PART!!!!!! #what a tragedy 😞 #LMFAO IM KIDDING!!!! #I saw your message before I laid down last night and it was all I could think of #it almost makes me kinda sad for him bc he wants to be there but just doesn’t know how to ☹️ #the other bkg’s chew him up and spit him out and it’s SUCH a reality check #and you pull him aside one day and tell him that you know that you’ll love him in every universe #that he just has to be better anyway that he can #and that’s like the REAL turning moment for him #omg MY HEART!!!!!! #okay I’m done rambling aksjdkdj I WUB YOU!!!! thank you for sending this in and loving my lil fic 🥺🥺🥺🥺 #—another happy customer! 🍭 #counter fav caitie #bakugou treats! 🍬

[kopibihun]

Could you draw Raph stimming? (Congrats on the 600 followers by the way)

He doesn't figure it out until he's picking bits out for the next week

(not me projecting my stims onto him)

#rottmnt #rottmnt raph #save rottmnt #unpause rottmnt #rottmnt fanart #rise of the tmnt #every time i grew my hair out this happens #so i always end up cutting it short aksjdfl #comic #someone remind me to make a part 2 #auds.jpg #also hc that raph has heavy duty chew toys for his teeth but sometimes he just forgets

[beebfreeb]

I have to be more annoying about fan characters. I have to draw Thal in little comics <3

#funny talking tag #I love making comics but I also hate every part of it but I love it. #It's so wonderful to have a finished little thing... and so wonderful to think of in your head! #...but then! You have to draft it and write it and draw it and color it and everything. All just to show people an idea in my head. #They should really let me telepathically beam things into people's heads! #but I do love drawing. It is enriching like a dog chewing up a stuffed animal beyond recognition. Covered in blood by the end of it #Anyway this is to say I have to be cringe and draw Thal and Oleander together.

[bitegore]

What an unbelievably well-written game.

#i finished it like a number of hours ago but i needed to like sit and process LOL #very very satisfying ending in spite of how it left me with so many (intentional) lingering questions #red rambles #alan wake 2 for the record #also be warned. buddy of mine called it and i was like 'nawww im just enjoying it a lot' probably new hyperfixation time #im not sure because the ending genuinely was so satisfying i might not get trapped in a loop (lol.) chewing on it #but every time i think about any part of the mid- to late-game plot i have to go take a walk so we'll see

[hijackalx]

what if Gortash has long hair and I can put it in a ponytail with my hands as he goes down on me. THOUGHTS??? IDEAS??? I WANNA GEAB HIS HAIR AND PULL IT

i have only just recently been converted into a long hair gortash enjoyer so i havent had many thoughts on it BUT IM FEELING THIS ONE ‼️‼️‼️

i think hes SO into having his hair pulled…….. like the way ur grip tightens/twitches when hes really putting the mf work in HELLO !!!! 💪🏻💯 imagine his deep groans when u do it !!!! WHILE he has u in his mouth AHH !!!!! HELLLLLPPPPP !!! MY PUSSYS GONE CRAZY !!!!!!!

ALSO…….. on the topic of gortash hair…….. i fucking love those longer mullet-ish (LMAO) pieces on his neck……. i want to grab those sooooo bad. u cant really see them usually because they blend in with the collar of his jacket but they cant hide from me…… i see them………

#i will sexualize every single part of gortash i dont gib a shit #his toes? sucking them. his armpits? smelling them. his dick cheese? chewing it. #IM JOKING DONT UNFOLLOW ME PLEASE #mostly joking #also wow its 10 in the morning #enver gortash #bg3 #asks

[sigilmint]

so ostensibly everyone's Slabs worked prior to First Day, right? so Charlie got to zoom around and Harriet linked people up and all that

do you think for Colt they just?? told him to trust?? that he'd come back if he died?????

Reprise is the only Slab without improvements (since the golden loop update), so there was never any extra tooling or optional flair added to his. like.

unless the Slabs only powered up when the Loop did?? in which case it's everyone's first day getting to enjoy their powers??

#someone chew on this with me #the fact that it's not even 3 lives a day it's 3 lives every part of the day #wenjie i have so many questions #deathloop

[infini-tree]

current mood: brain going through specific parts of the stray gods soundtrack and jumping from one part to another to cope

#psychic: reads my mind #my brain: every single part of a specific version of the trial played on top of each other #its like the mental eauivalent of me chewing too much gum to the point where its difficult (this is the highest praise) #mells thinking out loud on her blog again

[gideonisms]

I think if you started the gideon nav workout of going straight to star jumps you would injure yourself. Harrow would get out of breath just from the squats. imo she should start with walking for half an hour a few times a week and doing some crunches, squats, & bicep curls with like....10 lb weights. She should definitely do some calf & back stretches too, I think it would improve her outlook on life. Of course all of this will just make her skinnier unless she ups her calorie intake. Harrow contact me I'm available as a personal trainer for people who have been in a depressive haze for 9 months

#🤝 #eating extra calories is the hardest part #chicken sucks to chew #curry & rice is the only food actually. chicken allowed only if it is in the curry #i could eat curries every single day for all of my meals #i think harrow would really like lentils. they are almost a nutrient paste #i like mine spicy but you can make mild lentil curries #harrow contact me i can show you how to make a curry. no it's not like soup it's better come back

[lux--nova]

im reading good omens and im feeling a little tricked right now because like. you guys did not talk enough about the racism in this book. theres the obvious stuff like shadwell being explicitly described as racist and misogynistic being played for laughs because "oh he hates everyone" so actually he's a loveable old bigot who you just can't help but like anyway but then there's the smaller bits like talking about japanese manufacturing and referencing "nigirizushi, japan" as a fictional town to joke about japanese people i guess?? idk I know this is an old book by today's standards and a lot if not all of this has been addressed by the authors and wasn't included in the show but like damn it is definitely interrupting the flow of just reading this book bc I have to keep stopping and being like damn it really said that huh

#i know yall love the gaiman/pratchett style too but the way its written feels clunky #every sentence is at least one if not multiple jokes and it's taken so long for me to read this book #because it literally feels like i have to chew every word to progress with it #there are some really funny and clever and witty parts but god it's just so much #they really couldve benefitted by editing down the sardonic quips a bit #sorry good omens fans ive just literally only seen one other post critiquing this book on this site before #and it was someone in the tags of a post talking abour racism in white liberal media where someone had mentioned oh yeah good omens #good omens

[optimisticrunawaygalaxy]

I Explode every time a fav of mine gets HC'd/AU'd as non-american/english and i turn into fine dust molicules in a over the top detonation when they get HC'd/AU'd as German

#this is about a AU (I think) of Penguin being German in origin #i sploded so hard that shit is food my my skull i have my little pile of character that have been HCd as German and i am sitting ontop of i #t #like a dog sits on dirty laundry it stole #like uahgeughufgeu YEAS #ALSO I am forever going to chew on the fact that in one universe Otto Octavious is German. that will forever be a chew toy for me #Its so tasty my brain does kickflips #sadly there are no good fics because nobody thinks to consult a german for them but sighs i have to just have it in my brain i guess #I AM MORE THAN WILLING TO PROOF READ GERMAN!OTTO FICS BTW #I AM A NATIVE GERMAN SPEAKER I WILL PROOF READ THE GERMAN PARTS!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE I CAN NOT TAKE MY LANGUAGE #BEING MANGLED ANY MORE #PLEASE I AM BEGGING I WILL PROOFREAD GERMAN STUFF WRITTEN BY NON GERMANS #I WILL DO IT OUTSIDE OF MY FANDOM ASWELL I DONT CARE #GOD A GERMAN CHARACTER?? I *WILL* PROOFREAD THAT SHIT JSUT HMU I AM NOT JOKING I DONT WANT TO WAIL AND SOB #EVERY TIME I SEE A GERMAN TAG ON AO3